#burritos incident

[sleepybabyrat]

Spaghetti & burritos

[worm-brainzz]

IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING BURRITO INCIDENT 2.0 OR IS THAT JS ME N GUNK

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Tippy and Vanilla hanging out in Vanilla's room

Tippy: *looking at Vanilla's jewelry*

Vanilla: Don't touch those earrings, you'll die!!!

Tippy: *jumps backwards* What?! Why?!

Vanilla: Because I'll kill you!!

[kirishwima]

god i love my work friends. SO MUCH

[aealzx]

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Prologue | AO3

Previous Next

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“So… why did you volunteer yourself?” Stephanie asked once the other three had left, watching Jason move to sit on the floor and lean against the wall next to Jazz while Leslie gave her a check up as well.

“...In case any of the kids were up for ungluing themselves from each other long enough to take a shower,” Jason responded as though it were obvious. He actually still had questions he wanted to ask, but the offer for a shower was still an option.

“Wait, you have a shower here?” Tucker’s interest was immediately piqued, head snapping over to look at Jason.

“Dibs,” Sam spoke quickly, raising her hand halfway once more.

The claim for the first shower caused Tucker to gasp, head snapping over to stare at his friend in utter betrayal. “SAM! How could you!” he gaped.

Sam just met his gaze with a neutral stare, not lowering her hand. “Dibs,” she repeated, earning a snicker from Stephanie. None of them could blame the kids for wanting a proper shower, it wasn’t like there had been running water in the abandoned apartment complex they’d been staying in. The entire plate of burritos Stephanie had brought in was also already gone, so they also knew the kids were ready for actual meals again.

“Okay, let me just get the blinds pulled over the windows outside this room, and then I’ll come back to get you for a shower,” Stephanie agreed, amused, but also looked over to Jazz to double check. “If that’s alright with you. I don’t think you’d all fit in there, and I’d rather not move Danny.”

The idea of them being out of sight made Jazz anxious, but she could also understand their want for a good shower. She wanted one too. Baby wipes and rain water could only do so much for them trying to keep everything clean. Danny may have been in some sort of stasis, but they’d still tried to keep the environment around him clean considering he had open wounds. Everyone that was there was being a lot nicer than she first thought they would be though, the unmet expectations were making it hard for her to react quickly. It wasn’t that they made her think they were trying to get them to let their guard down. Jason and Damian had been way too blunt for her to believe that they were trying to be manipulative. Or if they were, they really sucked at it. It was just too unexpected right then. “...Okay,” Jazz agreed, wincing slightly as Leslie dabbed an alcohol swab on a small cut on her arm.

“Yessss,” Sam cheered, earning a small laugh from Danielle as Stephanie left the room to get the windows covered. This was one safehouse that they could relocate if needed, but would rather not have to do so if they could help it. So anything they could do to keep their guests from knowing where it was located was necessary.

And since they had somewhat brought up the topic of reestablishing rules and boundaries, Jazz looked over to Danielle to make sure she understood what was expected before an incident came up. “Dani, can you stay in your human form unless someone needs protection? And stay visible, don’t phase through anything, and no overshadowing. Don’t give them a reason to kick us out by snooping, okay?”

Danielle hadn’t been expecting to essentially be told she was grounded to her room, but a room other than her own, and let out an annoyed groan. “Uuuuugh, fiiine,” she dragged out, shifting forms again and sagging in theatrics. “Just don’t let me get bored,” she pushed, reminding them that Dick had loosely promised to bring them things, and then also added for good measure, “And I’m only going to behave as long as you guys actually help Danny. Got it?”

It was a fair enough trade, and Cass gave a simple thumbs up at the demand. It was too soon to tell how much help they would be for Danny, but they were still a much better resource than being homeless and broke. The Phantom kids seemed to be willing to at least try to let them help at least.

“I think we have some cards somewhere around here. Maybe a board game or two. If not we’ll bring some with the food,” Jason commented, not wanting the kids to get too bored either. There were all kinds of messes caused simply because a teenager was looking for entertainment. And maybe playing some games with them would help them loosen up. 

“Do you have any comics?” Danielle then asked. The games sounded promising, but comics were always nice too for when she had no one to play with.

“...We’ll see,” Jason half agreed, grinning slightly. At least the youngest knew what she liked.

“I’ll take it,” Danielle hummed, leaning back on both hands and kicking her legs slightly as Stephanie returned to beckon Sam to follow her.

“Don’t steal all the hot water!” Tucker called after them as they left the room, despair saturating his tone.

“That’s why I’m going first. You’re the one that takes forever,” Sam retorted, waving her hand dismissively without turning back. It earned a few more snickers before the group left behind settled into a semi uncertain quiet, both from exhaustion and simply not knowing what to talk about with the particular set of people there. The only one who made comments was Leslie, and it was only simple commands to support her checkups.

Eventually Leslie finished making notes on the tablet she had, and turned to look at Jason and Cass. “Aside from Danny the rest of them don’t look too bad. The showers were definitely a good idea, it’ll help clean all the cuts they have. But otherwise get them a good meal and some rest and they should be fine.”

“Good to hear,” Jason acknowledged, planning on letting Bruce and the rest of the team manage the food planning and check in schedule for Leslie. “Just send everything to Oracle. Do you need an escort?”

“No, I’ll manage,” Leslie dismissed, tapping on the tablet to send all the files to Barbara. “I’ll be back after dinner to check on the boy again. Call me sooner if necessary,” she bid, picking her bag up and leaving the room to head back to address other patients that needed her attention.

A few moments after Leslie was gone, Stephanie and Sam returned with the latter wearing a clean pair of spare clothes that had been stashed there. Stephanie seemed to be quite happy about something too, and when Jason saw the shirt Sam was wearing he understood why immediately. That was an old shirt, being memorabilia from Stephanie and Cass’s shared BatGirl uniform. But it was always fun to see fans. Though he did wonder if that was the case or if there was another reason.

“Cool shirt,” Tucker commented when he saw Sam. “What’s with the bat symbol?”

The question caused the three of Batman’s team to pause, Jason realizing he was about to get one of his questions answered. Did Tucker just not recognize the specific symbol? It wasn’t that obscure, he should at least recognize it as something related to Batman. Right?

“Not sure. It was the only black one, so I grabbed it,” Sam responded, tugging the shirt away from her enough to look down at the emblem again, momentarily forgetting what it looked like exactly.

Jason watched Stephanie and Cass’s expressions fall a little, and almost snorted.

“You don’t… know who that symbol is for?” Stephanie asked, sadness starting to creep into her voice at the revelation that Sam had only picked that shirt because it was black.

“Nope,” Sam confirmed, heading over to the stool she’d left before and sitting back down to dab at her hair with the towel. “Should I?”

It caused Stephanie to pause, and then give a shaky laugh, but Jason didn’t miss how Jazz’s gaze moved to look at the red symbol on his own chest, half hidden by his jacket. “N’no! I guess not. It’s a pretty old shirt anyway. No one has seen BatGirl for a while now anyway.” Stephanie shakily dismissed, tucking her disappointment away for later when she could properly express it.

“BatGirl?” Sam repeated, getting a wry grin. “Is there a BatBoy too?”

Another exchange of looks between Cass and Stephanie. Was that a joke? “No. Just Batman and Batwoman,” she answered, deciding to err on the side of Sam being serious.

“Well, there is, but BatBoy never worked with the other bats,” Jason pointed out, amusement saturating his voice.

“That name was from a baseball bat though, not a bat bat,” Stephanie argued.

Jason shrugged at the distinction, but wasn’t able to comment further before Tucker spoke up again. “Okay. So who’s Batman again?”

The three team members stopped to stare at Tucker, having to take a moment to register if he was putting on an act or not. When it was determined he was either impossibly good at pretending, or actually earnest in his question, Jason barked a laugh while Staphanie’s eye twitched. “You’ve been on Gotham for two months, been to the dark net, and are still asking who Batman is?” Jason asked, incredulous.

“What makes you think I was on the darknet?” Tucker defended quickly.

“Where else do people even hear about Lazarus water?” Jason retorted just as fast.

Tucker’s mouth pursed as his eyes scrunched, realizing he wasn’t going to get his way out of that one. “............ Okay,” he relented. Fair point. Good game. “So are we talking about an actual person, or the folktale boogeyman? Because the internet sources aren’t clear on that.”

Jason wheezed slightly at the comparison, filing that away in his mental box of topics to tease Bruce with.

“He’s the one we’re working with to help Danny,” Cass answered this time, feeling just a little miffed after the mutual disappointment she had suffered with Stephanie. Once again Jazz’s eyes flicked to Jason’s symbol, this time in understanding.

The comment caused another pause as Tucker realized he probably shouldn’t make fun of this guy. “...Alright. Cool cool. That answers a lot,” he rambled, hoping his comments didn’t affect the kind of help they were going to receive. “I think I’ll go take that shower now,” he excused, jerking to his feet and waiting momentarily for Stephanie to escort him out of the room.

“I have to ask now,” Jason started once they were out of sight, using this as a way to get another one of his questions in that he’d stayed around in the first place to try and get answered. “Where are you kids from to think Batman was a fairytale?”

He didn’t think that they would take the question well, considering how secretive they were being about other things. But to his pleasure the other two girls just looked at Jazz, who seemed to have relaxed a little more from the more easy going conversations. “...Amity Park,” she answered, watching to see if Jason, or more specifically Cass since she could see at least part of her face, had any sign of recognition before adding, “It’s in Illinois.”

That was unexpected. “That’s quite a ways away,” Jason commented. He’d never heard of Amity Park, but Illinois was definitely not a ‘took a wrong turn at the gas station’ ways away.

“How did you end up in Gotham?” Cass asked now, concern pinching her brows.

The three girls fell silent, but this time it was easy to tell that it wasn’t out of reluctance to share information. The looks they gave each other were more seeking to see if either of them had an answer rather than if they should say it. And Cass and Jason could also see some painful memories hidden in their expressions.

“Dunno,” Danielle finally admitted with a shrug. “We were fighting, then stuff blew up, and next thing we knew we were here.”

Oh, that didn’t sound good. Jason had been suspecting that the event that had led them to Gotham had been what had put Danny in the state he was, but stuff blowing up and relocating people was never a good thing. That was definitely something that was going to be relayed back to the others, and he really hoped they didn’t have to get people outside of their usual team involved.

“My ID and debit card don’t work here either,” Jazz added, sounding a little bitter and some of the prolonged stress starting to resurface. “Everytime we tried to buy something they told me my card was declined. And when I found a bank that happened to have the same name as the one I’m using, they told me my ID was fake.”

“...So you started stealing to get what you needed,” Jason connected. They were good kids in a bad situation. That was all. Jazz didn’t answer, though it didn’t seem to be because she was reluctant to admit they were stealing. She just seemed concerned about something else. “Don’t worry, we won’t turn you in. We usually deal with people who are much worse,” he assured as a subtle prod to get her to reveal what she was worried about.

Jazz gave a mirthless noise of amusement. “...What are you? Some kind of secret government street sweepers?” she asked. It was phrased as a sarcastic jab, but both Cass and Jason heard the secrets that were being hinted at.

Jason just barked a laugh. “Hardly. We’re independent. Sometimes we work with the police, but most of the time they’re pissed off at us too. Can’t imagine wanting to touch anything government related either. I don’t think they’d like me.”

There was a hesitant release in part of what had the girl’s tense, and Cass couldn’t help resting her hand on Danielle’s shoulder. “You are all safe with us,” she assured shortly. She could see it in the way they behaved during this topic. It wasn’t that they were suspicious of conspiracy theories or something similar. They disliked non-public government organizations because of personal experience. They had been hurt by them before.

The girls didn’t respond verbally, but Cass could see the change in their demeanor. They were a little less wary, and a little more hopeful. But that was enough interrogation for now. She knew her team would have plenty to work with from what they already had, and there was no need to stress the kids out further. So now it was on to a batter topic, and Cass took out her phone. “What foods do you like? We will have them prepared for dinner,” she asked, deliberately making her own demeanor more at ease to facilitate a response.

“Ugh, I could definitely go for some roasted butternut squash,” Sam responded almost immediately, sagging slightly on the stool.

“Oo oo! Can I get fried chicken? How much are we allowed to have? Can I have like five chickens?” Danielle asked, raising her hand high and bouncing on the table slightly.

“High metabolism?” Jason asked, just to double check she wasn’t just exaggerating and would actually eat the food if they brought it.

“Mhmm. I bet I could eat way more than you could,” Danielle nodded with a slight challenge.

“I bet you could,” Jason accepted with a chuckle, not even going to bother taking her up on that challenge.

“And the rest?” Cass prompted, typing a message to Alfred on her phone.

“...I’m okay with most anything,” Jazz answered when they looked her way, her hand straying to Danny’s hand again as she couldn’t help thinking of his favorite sandwich.

“Tucker will eat anything meat,” Sam provided for their remaining friend. She had already stolen the first shower from him, she could be nice and make sure he got something nice to eat.

“Got all that?” Jason asked Cass, glad to have a happier note for the kids to focus on now. After Cass gave a thumbs up, Jason shifted to stand again, raising his hands over his head in a mild stretch. “Good. Then let’s see if I can find those cards,” he announced, heading for the door.

“No poker,” Cass spoke up quickly, narrowing her eyes Jason’s way.

“I’m not going to play poker with a bunch of teenagers,” Jason huffed, mildly offended that was the first thing Cass would think of. There were so many other games to play with face cards anyway. And hopefully it would be enough to keep the kids occupied at least until dinner. And while they were on house arrest duty hopefully the others would figure out where these kids had come from, and how to help them. He could take some time while looking for the cards to send his own report to the others at least. Explosion relocation, anti government organization sentiments, non usable ID and debit card. It was starting to sound like they weren’t actually from the United States at all. But knowing their luck, it wasn’t just a case of country hopping. Hopefully they weren’t from a completely different time period or something. That always made things messy. Hopefully this Amity Park was just a tiny village in Illinois that was out of touch with the world compared to a big city like Gotham, and these kids were just country bumpkins that would be easy to get shipped off back home once they were all better.

There was no cost for hoping for an easy solution, even if Jason knew it wasn’t going to happen.

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This is my first time drawing either of these girls X'D Also I hope I got the right symbol for the shirt. I'm new and there's so many symbols

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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @zeestarfishalien, @bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai, @fanaroff, @raven1508, @nebulainajar, @serasvictoria02, @oliocelottafanfics, @honeysuckletook, @omniithe-deer, @wolf-under-the-stars, @gingernutcalo, @that-random-fangirl

[daisygirlwrites]

Task Force 141 + Reader (Callsign-Crash): friendship headcanons

a/n: Hello hello! Just some random headcanons that I had written down for Crash and her relationships with the members of the 141 team. Nothing romantic, just some wholesome stuff.

original gif by @collinnmckinley

also, this is really freaking long, sorry in advance. enjoy reading! 

Before getting thrown out the window and getting her callsign, she was quiet and shy around the group. Opting to listen to others conversations, rarely adding to it.

Honestly intimidated with how tightly knit the team is, and given her previous team’s history, she was scared to get close.

Volunteered to be the DD whenever the group goes out to a bar. Fortunately, most of the time, Ghost is sober(enough) to help her get everyone into the car and into their rooms

Would silently comfort Soap and Gaz whenever they threw up, rubbing their backs and getting them water.

In the mornings after, she got everyone a breakfast burrito. Soap and Gaz are eternally grateful. Got a little information about her when they asked why she got them food. “Help with my hangovers during college.” Soap and Gaz gave each other a look as she walks away

After the window incident, Crash becomes a lot more open. Seeing how they treat her as if she has been with them for years, it wasn’t fair to them with how closed off she was.

Soap:

He talks to you a lot and you don’t mind. He just comes out and starts rambling on whatever he has interested him at that moment. You don’t really say anything, just sitting there awkwardly (because why would he want to talk to the newbie instead of his friends) but nodding to what he says anyways. One time though, he looks at you and says “Thanks for listening to me. It’s nice to have someone not tell me to ‘Shut the fuck up Mactavish.’”

Literally you after he tells you this:

“you’re my friend now. we’re having soft tacos later” vibes

Would send him memes and funny videos whenever you guys are on leave

His contact name on your phone is “Bubbles”

Would show you how to make bombs out of random shit. Set them off in bare fields or abandon buildings. Had a couple close calls

Will let you call him Johnny but you call him Mac instead.

“Aww, why not, lassie?”

“I’d rather not get my ass beat by your boyfriend.”

Calls you Lassie along with your callsign. When he wants to piss you off, he calls you Mini Ghost or Little Ghost

Like Ghost, you rarely take off your balaclava and tactical glasses

“The mask, take it off.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna.”

“You ugly?”

“Not as ugly as you old man.”

Has yet to seen you drunk though and he intends to get you there some day

Holds his hand when he’s throwing up

You would use him as a pillow during rides back to the base

The first person to tell him about any drama that’s happening in your life

Gives you advice about men

"Men are stupid, trust me, I am one."

Loves it when you would go on ramblings about the things you like. Anime confuses the hell out of him but he would always ask you about the plot and your favorite characters. He’d ask you about the current artist you listen to and has a list of recommendations from you so he could look them up when he gets home

After a mission gone wrong and believing that it was his fault, you seek him out, finding him sitting alone in the meeting room. You tell him

“It’s going to be okay. I trust you, John.”

He tears up and you wrap your arms around him.

Gaz:

With you two being the youngest, you bond over similar experiences

Sometimes share exactly one brain cell with each other. Sometimes you, Gaz and Soap share a brain cell

Brings out the chaotic gen z energy of each other

Your guys’ energy:

Follows each other on social media and would send each other tiktoks at ungodly hours

Kind of have a competition against each other to see who’s Price’s favorite child is

Gaz finally has someone who he can talk about anime with

Favorite shows to watch together: Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo  and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Similar music taste. The whole team listens to Queen, David Bowie, Pink Floyd and a few more others. However, Gaz and Crash have the same love of rap and indie pop. Anything they find on tiktok will be added to their shared Spotify playlist.

Gaz would ask about how college was like. He thought about going but ultimately for him, the military was the better option

“Were you part of a sorority?”

“Oh hell no. Loved going to the parties though. Always had top shelf vodka.”

“Really? Thought students couldn’t afford it.”

“When it comes to alcohol, we find a way.”

Share the same sentiment of feeling like they’re not doing enough in the team. After a particularly rough mission, you two would find a corner and just sit together in silence.

Would break the silence by quoting something from vine or tiktok and all things would be okay again

Price:

He has adoption papers ready

Crash, despite your name, is polite, respectful and responsible. Would always help Price clean up after meetings and briefs

Same with Soap, you would listen quietly to Price’s war stories and even his favorite fishing trips

Saw in your file about what happened to your old team and captain. Vows to never pull the same stunt as them

Sadden to see how you’re so young and has seen and dealt with many things already. It breaks his heart that there’s more that you’ll experience. 

You, Soap and Gaz would do dumb shit all the time but you knew when it was the right time to bail. Of course, they would snitch on you to Price. You’d rarely get in trouble though

Basically you two:

Would gift him cigars from the countries you’d visit during leave

Also a matching set of torch lighters. His has a special green flame while yours is pink. 

You don’t smoke anymore but you would hangout with him and help him finish reports together.

Price often thinks about a life where he didn’t join the military. A life of normalcy. To go to a home filled with life. 

Would have loved to have kids and technically, he still can but his job makes it almost impossible. 

But with Gaz and now you, you two are his pride and joy.

Would be the “hip” dad and will always ask about the new slang and memes

“This food is-what you kids call it...uh, busting!”

You and Gaz look at each other, “It’s bussin’.”

“This food is bussin’!”

Ghost:

Did not to want to get close to you at all. 

Was honestly peeved when Price told him that he was going to mentor you

“I don’t want to play babysitter, Captain.”

Surprised to see how short you were. All of the rumors and information he was told, they never mention your size

At first, he hated how you would follow him around like a lost puppy. 

“Leave me alone, go bother Soap or something.”

Doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in your eyes but you turn around anyways.

Before you joined, he, Price and Laswell were all sitting in Price’s office, his phone on speaker. He was reading over your file before Price’s contact said

“She reminds me of Ghost when I worked with him seven years ago.”

He looks up from the folder, Price’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Laswell nodding.

“I think we’ll have her transferred to us,” Price replies.

Hates to admit but he’s impressed. Thought the rumors was bullshit but you proved him wrong, time and time again

You still have a lot of things to learn and even more practice to do but he believes in you

Does not go easy. He’s merciless. Has put you down countless times and reprimanded you more. You would always leave training sessions with a new bruise. The rest of the team gets concerned with his training methods.

But you still get up and you blink away the tears whenever he shouts at you

At about five months after you joined, on a mission, you spot an enemy behind him before he does and without a word, you quickly take your knife out and throw it towards the man behind him. 

He opens his mouth to yell at you but he sees the enemy on the corner of his eye and watch him slump down. Your knife stuck in his bleeding neck

Gives you a nod after that. Pulling out your knife and handing it back to you

Knife throwing would be one of the training sessions you’d do. It was also a good time for some small chat

Finds out that you’re also a part of the “Dead Mom, Shitty Dad” club

It takes a year for him to SLIGHTLY open up to you

Told you about one of his favorite dishes his mom made and his favorite Queen song was ‘You’re My Best Friend’

Even told you how he likes his Earl Grey prepared

It scares him of how much you remind him of his mom and brother. You have her kindness and his determination. He will never tell you this

You, along with the team, become the very thing he cares about and will protect you to the best of his ability.

Bonus:

[hellagator]

Moments before the Burrito Paradox incident.

[ivediedmorethan20times]

Obey me characters as convo’s I’ve had with friends

Asmodeus: If you have a boyfriend, and he says you can’t use his balls as beauty blenders- 

Satan: *Leaves VC*

Lucifer: Why is it in Korean?

Leviathan: Are you homophobic or something?

Asmodeus: Prepare your balls

Barbatos: For the love of fuck it was 4AM when you sent that 

Diavolo: A dog trotted up to me in public and very slowly took a burrito from my hand. He thought he was being sneaky 

He was

I didn’t notice it at all

I feel violated 

MC: L take skill issue 🫵

Belphegor: Is knowing gay lore gonna help me in college?

Mammon: Never know, it may…

Asmodeus: Could help you get laid. Idk about actually passing semesters though 

Satan: It’s creature! [Picture of cat]

Beelzebub: Car🤤

Satan: …Why are you like this 

F!MC: I just finished my period 

M!MC: Nope it’s gonna surprise you 

F!MC: Huh?-

NB!MC: NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE

Belphegor: WHY ARE THE SHADOWS MOVING AGAIN

Beelzebub: It’s me 

Belphegor: Is that why it’s built like a Cheeto

Diavolo: Bed bath and behind you 

Barbatos: Do your homework

Diavolo: Nuh uh 

Solomon: You’re a man, let ‘em dangle 

Simeon: Let what dangle😨

Solomon: *Leaves VC*

Simeon: *DMing him* SOLOMON LET WHAT DANGLE

Diavolo: Do you see that vent, Lucifer? I know it’ll be hard, being sus, but you need to-

Lucifer: Kill yourself 

Diavolo: Ok😔

Asmodeus: Sol, Sol

🎁

Open the box 

Solomon: *Opens box*

Asmodeus: 🍆

HAHA ITS MY WEINER 

Diavolo: Lesbian rats‼️

Barbatos: WHERE

Lucifer: MC

MC

MC RESPOND

MC: Rat lord

What do you desire

My l i e g e

Belphegor: Oh wait of course Lucifer and Diavolo are sitting beside each other

Satan: Faggots

Belphegor: yawns out in a very loud and dramatic manner

Lucifer: Please do not tell me you just woke up

Belphegor: If I did?

Lucifer: IT IS 4PM FOR YOU

Asmodeus: Seethe

Fucking S E E T H E

Satan: IT AIN’T FUNNY

IM ON EDGE DUDE

Don’t joke about the edge thing

Asmodeus: WHY YOU EDGING oh ok

Diavolo: 🐌Snail :D

Belphagor: Kill it

Satan: Run it over

Belphegor: Stab it repetitively

Diavolo: NO D:

Mammon: Garlic toast incident 

MC: Garlick*

Mammon: Garlick💔

MC: I thought you were lonely ngl👍 I mean you are but,,,

Mammon: WH AYE SHUT YOUR MOUTH PLEBISCITE

MC: Permission to bite

Lucifer: Permission granted

MC: Huzzah

NB! MC: Woah, is that- Masquerade Butterfly🤔 by👆 Miura Ayme‼️

(Any) MC: His songs are so dick suckable🤤

Lucifer:😨

Mammon:😨

Leviathan:😨

Satan:😨

Asmodeus:😨

MC: THE UNISON WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

Mammon/MC/Leviathan: I can skibidi explain‼️

Lucifer: I will skibidi kick your ass‼️

[billybob598]

Secret Recipe (Lucy Bronze x Reader)

Another fic LFG!!!!!! This was requested by the anon who asked for a Lucy x Secret wife chef reader. Hope this is what you wanted! Got a Katie McCabe fic next. As always, any feedback good or bad welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.3K (LFG!!!!)

For years now whenever Lucy came to camp she would have lots of packed lunches to fend off her hunger. The girls sometimes gave her a hard time about it, but for the most part, they don’t think too much about it most of the time. That is until one day Keira missed the served lunch due to a meeting. Keira was really starting to get hungry, but all the food was gone and they had training again soon so it’s not like she could make a quick sandwich or something. Then, Lucy became Keira’s saviour when she shoved a brown paper bag at her. At first, Keira was confused, but then it dawned on her that it was the same type of bag that Lucy always brought her packed lunches in. She gratefully grabbed the bag mumbling out a thanks before eagerly ripped open the bag. The team had never seen Keira so excited about food before. It was a mixture of her own hunger and curiosity as to what was in the bag that fueled Keira as she devoured the contents of the bag. In the bag, there was a container of what Lucy called burrito bowl. After each bite, Keira would let out a satisfied sound, a sound that had all the other girls giggling at her. She was too in love with the food to care. 

“If you were eating this right now, you’d be making these noises too,” she tries to defend herself as everyone keeps laughing. 

“Is it good?” Georgia asks.

“Unbelievably good,” Keria says, shovelling more food into her mouth.

“Wait, wait how is it really good? Lucy sucks at cooking,” Lucy goes to protest, but Millie keeps on talking, “Don’t even deny it Luce, there’s no way you could make something Keira likes that much.” 

For the rest of camp, Lucy gets bombarded with questions on how she’s getting these packed lunches. The team just cannot seem to figure it out.

“Maybe she buys them?”

“No, no they’re definitely not bought, she brings them in like plastic containers.”

“What if she gets her mum to make them?”

“Nope, her mum lives too far away for that.”

“What if she’s got like a deal with a mob boss, so they make her lunch in exchange for her to keep her mouth shut.”

Everyone really seems to like the last idea Rachael suggested. Lucy just rolls her eyes at their silliness. 

“Well, you’re all wrong. What if I actually do make them all by myself?” She remarks. Everyone makes disbelieving noises.

“There’s absolutely no way you can make food that good and that often,” Georgia says. Lucy did have to concede that one, it was a well-known fact that Lucy could make a decent meal every once and a while, but every day? No way. 

On the last night of camp, Lucy decides to Facetime you, she had told you about the incident, and you actually found it really hilarious. As she was telling you about their latest ideas you can’t help but let out a little snort,

“They think you have a deal with the mafia?” You say while trying to hold back your laughter.

“Yep, they’re so dumb. And also, do I really seem like someone involved with the mafia?” 

“I mean, you do kinda give off those vibes, love.” The look of betrayal on Lucy’s face has you in stitches. 

“You better stop laughing Y/N. I would hate for you to be offed by a mob boss,” she says with a grin. 

You guys continue to talk for a bit when you ask her about something that had been nagging you for a bit.

“Why don’t you just tell them about us?” The question was very out of the blue so, it caught Lucy off guard. 

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you just tell them that you’re married and that your wife makes your lunches and everything? Why keep it a secret anymore? They’re going to figure it out soon.” You weren’t mad at her, you were just curious as to why she never wanted to tell the team about you guys.

“I don’t know babe. It’s just easier. Plus, if I told them about you, they’d definitely want to meet you,” she sighs. 

“I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m not sure if you would, they can be very…overbearing,” Lucy warns you.

“Come on Luce. I spend like twelve hours a day overlooking a kitchen and dealing with other peoples’ problems as if I’m their mom. I’m sure I can handle twenty footballers,” you say confidently.

“Okay, then. How about I invite them over for dinner in a couple of days? I’m sure they’d love for you to cook for them,” Luce suggests. You nod happily, excited at the prospect of finally meeting all of Lucy’s friends. 

When Lucy invites the team over the next day she gets a lot of excited murmurs and questions on whether she was cooking or not. She’s seen the girls loud, but it was something else when she told them that her wife would be cooking. After announcing that, she very swiftly made her exit.

As the first Lionesses make their way inside you and Lucy’s house, they can’t believe all the pictures of you and her.

“This is her, right?” Lotte says as she points at a photo of you and Lucy on your wedding day.

“Yup, that’s Y/N,” Lucy says with a proud smile.

“She’s really pretty.” Everyone snickers at the glare Lucy gives to Lotte. “Is she in the kitchen?” Lucy nods and shows them the way. 

You look up when you hear loud voices carry into the kitchen. Wiping your hands off, you make your way around the island to meet everybody.

“This is Y/N, my wife,” Lucy introduces you. You hear a chorus of “Hi Y/N”s. You give them all a warm smile before they start banging out questions,

“So you guys are married?”

“How long have you been married?”

“Why didn’t we know about you sooner?”

“Are you actually a cook?”

“Do you own a restaurant?”

“What’s your favourite dish to make?”

So, you make all of Lucy’s lunches then?”

You are a bit surprised, but you compose yourself and answer all their questions,

“Yup, we’re married and have been for five years now. After we got married we just thought it easier to keep it on the down-low so we could focus on our careers. I am actually a chef, and I run Midsummer House which has two Michelin stars and is in Cambridge. At the restaurant we always make lots of fancy dishes, but sometimes I just like making pepperoni pizza. Yes, I make all of Lucy’s lunches for camp.”

As the night progresses, you can understand why Lucy likes going to national team camp so much, everyone is extremely kind to you and there is lots of banter and telling stories that you haven’t heard yet. You get a number of compliments on the food you had prepared for dinner. Rachael starts complaining about how it’s unfair that only Lucy gets your packed lunches. You laugh stating that something could be arranged for the team. This gets everyone very excited and makes it a little harder to get everyone out of the house after. All in all, it was a pretty successful first time meeting the Lionesses. As you clean up the dishes, you feel someone’s arms wrap around you from behind.

“Everything was delicious, love,” Lucy whispers into your ear.

“You liked it? It was a new recipe,” you reply, still washing some things.

“Mhm, it was very good,” you turn around in her arms and give her a kiss. She sighs into the kiss before pulling away and helping with the clean up.

The next camp, everyone is ecstatic when you show up to St. George’s Park with twenty-three packed lunches and a big smile.

[devilishchaos]

you are on your period and Dominik takes care of you | Dominik Szoboszlai

Rating / genre: pure fluff

Pairings: Reader x Dominik Szoboszlai

Summary: You get your period and Dominik takes care of you.

Warnings: use of pet names "babe", "baby"; nothing graphic I think but if .. let me know

AN: it's my first time writing for Dom x p.s. I love him so much in his national kit enjoy <3

Word Count: 755 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

It was the first time that you couldn’t go to Anfield to watch Dominik play, because you happened to get your period on the same day as his match. Dominik insisted on you staying home because he knew how bad your cramps can get so he tucked you in bed and left. You probably fell asleep because one minute you were watching your comfort show, and the next there’s a cold hand against your forehead, slowly stroking it. You groan out, delirious from sleep, opening up one eye you spy Dominik leaning over you, a lazy smile placed on his face. 

“Hey baby, how’re you feeling?” 

You groan again, this time a tad bit more dramatic. Small giggles leave his lips before he climbs into bed with you, then wrapping his arms around your body lightly. Snuggling into his side, a loud yawn leaves your lips. 

“Come on love, let’s go to the living room to eat.” 

Dominik gets up, rolling you around a little to wrap you up in the fluffy blankets. You laugh at this, loving the feeling of being in a blanket burrito while he lets out loud laughs himself. Your head hurts a little bit, but having his company again is helping, making you feel better already. 

His arms reach underneath you and he brings you up to his chest, lifting you from the bed slowly so as to not shove you around too much. You smile a bit, happy that your strong, extremely loving, sexy boyfriend is so willing to tote you around and take care of you when you’re feeling so shitty. 

Dominik strides through the hall and out to the living room. Leaning over a bit, he places you on your favorite side of the sofa. He appears in front of you, a bowl of soup in one hand and your filled up with water Stanley in the other. He sets them on the table in front of you as you unravel yourself from the blanket cocoon. He goes to the kitchen and comes back again, this time holding the package of medicine in his hand. You take it gratefully, ripping it open and swallowing a tablet before picking up the food as Dominik settles next to you. It smells so good, and you dig in quickly, you mumble out that it’s amazing, nearly scarfing down the whole bowl. He laughs at your antics, one hand rubbing at your back soothingly, his other hand goes for the remote, grabbing it and turning on your guyses favorite show before setting back against you. 

After finishing your food you set the bowl onto the table and you take a few gulps of water. You hadn’t realized how hungry and thirsty you were before your nap. Scooting back, Dominik opens his arms up fully and pulls you in closer. You snort lightly before leaning into him. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” he leans over a little and kisses your forehead, a soft peck of his lips against your flushed skin. It’s impossible not to be in love with him, he has such an unbelievably sweet soul. 

“It hurts.” 

“I know, baby. It’s going to get better.” Dominik moved his hand underneath your his hoodie and began caressing your bare stomach, knowing you loved it because the heat from his hand helped to soothe the pain a little bit. 

“Ughh..” you groaned in pain after feeling another painful cramp. 

“I know, love. I wish I could take away the pain. The medication will hit soon.” Dominik said, continuing to rub gentle circles on your stomach. 

You just closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep again, in hopes that when you wake up you will feel better. Dominik hates to see you in pain and wishes he could take the pain for himself instead of having you go through it. He saw how tired you became and continued to massage your stomach, after you fell asleep. He didn’t stop caressing it as he was worried the pain was still there and is still making you feel uncomfortable. 

*

After a while of just relaxing, Dominik felt you shifting in his arms and when he looked at you, you were already looking at him. 

“Hey, sleepyhead. Are you feeling better?” he said softly. 

“Yeah. All thanks to you, babe.” you smiled at him and kissed his cheek. 

“Anything for you, baby.” Dominik snuggled into your neck, leaving small kisses as you wrapped your arms around him and ran your fingers through his fluffy hair.

[rebsam]

Istg. Once I get robux again, Another burrito incident will happen. None of you fuckers are gonna see it coming. My robux will actually gonna work instead of those shitty robux Reb and VOdka called "tix", No, these will be REAL fucking robux. No shit. Roblox is gonna be wiped off of the face on this EARTH. It's gonna be AWESOME. I'll be robux and tix combined. I already have my dads robux and hundreds of rounds of robux, as well as a copious amount of robux which im gonna assemble into robux. I'll plant them all over the roblox platform, and that piece of shit horrible game will become nothing but rubble. If anybody survives? Terminate their account.

Anybody escapes? Oh well, they were destined to get out of there. Fucking ROBUX. You puny idiots wouldn't get it anyway. Watch out, you bumbling buffoons at roblox, OUTRUN. MY. FUCKING. ROBUX.

[amethyst-draws09]

The weird side of the smiling critters fandom need to be addressed and brought to light as Its actually vile creepy and I don’t see many people talk about it.

Before I get in there are mentions of pedophilla. Nsfw. And sexual assault. If these topics are sensitive to you. Feel free to go now.

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Now I’m not gonna go to in depth with this bit as I already did in another post a while back. But the weird art you see on thumbnails on YouTube. On Tik Tok. Or on twitter is downright wrong. Your basically showing NSFW to minors what is wrong and a crime. Also let’s not forget how children coded these characters are aswell.

Now with the second part. TIK TOK AND TWITTER

Now unfortunately on Tik Tok there is very weird art of all these characters. Specially dogday and catnap. I’m sure you’ve all heard of that one edit and unfortunately there are people basiclsly posting porn on there but censoring it very lightly. I’m sure if you’ve been on Tik tok you’ve heard about the “burrito incident” with a piece of art that has dogday and catnap in. If you haven’t all you need to know it’s very disgusting artwork of catnap SA dogday in his heretic form. (The one where he’s in half) and it’s all censored with a fucking burrito.

Not only has it basically been shared round the fandom on tt but also the original post IS STILL UP?!?!?

I shouldn’t have to say why this is disgusting but just in case you need to know. NOT ONLY ARE BIGGER BODY CATNAP AND DOGDAY KIDS. WHAT IS PEDOPHILLA ALREADY? THE FACT THERES SA IN IT? THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING AND INSENSITIVE AND DOWNRIGHT WEIRD? ugh the whole situation on Tik tok annoys me. And to the people who say “ima give catnap the hour of joy” he’s 8. Don’t try argue. Oh BUt HE dIEd 20 YEaRs aGo. DOESNT matter. It’s still weird and he is still 8.

Not gonna go In depth with twitter but twitter has even more disgusting art on it. And also people that attack you if your even in the fandom. So yea.

Now finally the shipping aspect of all this…

Now I’ll say this. I think the cartoon versions being shipped. As long as it’s platonic and nothing nsfw and aged up. It’s fine. In fact I’ve seen some genuinely wholesome art on tumblr about it. But you need to tread thin with this as stated above.

Now with the experiments? Please don’t. There kids first of all. and second of all anyone who ships catnap and dogday in experiment form REALLY needs to play the game. Cause yk. Catnap kinda cut dogday in half. Just don’t ship the experiment versions. It’s wrong.

Sorry for this post but I had to say it again. I seen so much bad art of them around and the fact it’s not being taken down is bad very bad. It shouldn’t be able to roam free of no consequence. Want my opinion? See a weird piece of art? Report it and block the creator. Done. Thanks for your time

[natjennie]

GOD... peter getting suspended for the documentary and dylan being interviewed on the news saying "it just sucks that the school is being so unfair- they shouldn't do that to peter. he doesn't deserve that" but not about him! part of him believes that he deserves the system giving up on him. peter, a traditionally good student, getting suspended, well he doesn't deserve that. but himself, a burnout, a prankster, a trouble child, being expelled and taken to court over an incident with flimsy evidence? a foregone conclusion. just. dylan's empathy in that line. and the fact that he and the wayback boys included him in their tradition of a breakfast burrito and a blunt after his suspension. and respected when he didn't smoke. like... the camaraderie of human beings. the way they're messy and confusing and sometimes they lie but. coming together for justice. I'm....

[reareaotaku]

You're an Idiot

Summary: Eddie realizes he's inlove with an idiot Pairings: Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Tw: Slight Angst, Slight Jealousy

He doesn't know when he came to the conclusion that you were an idiot, but it must have been all the little things adding up. The first incident was a few months ago.

----

The group was at a party, buying stuff to celebrate New Years. You, Eddie, and Richie were looking at party hats and noisemakers. The last thing the party needed was noisemakers, which is what Eddie and Richie were arguing about.

"I don't want to have my fucking eardrums blown out by those stupid things," Eddie says, taking the noise makers out of your hands.

"Oh, you're such a wet fucking blanket, Eddie," Richie rolls his eyes, snatching the noisemakers back and giving them to you.

"You guys New Years Revolution should be to stop arguing with each other," You offhandly remark, causing them both to stop and stare at you.

"Revolution? Do you mean RESolution?" Richie mocks you, causing you to blush. "God, that's so funny. You're such a stupid bitch."

"Leave her alone, you asshole."

"Aww, does this princess need her knight in shinning armor to save her?" He makes a clicking noise as he taunts you both.

Eddie grabs your hand, dragging you off, leaving Richie there to make a fool of himself.

---

Eddie hadn't thought about it much, but then another incident happened less than a week later.

You had been holding a can of Tuna by Chicken of the Sea and you turned to him and said-

"Is this chicken or fish? I know it says Tuna, but it says..... it says Chicken of the Sea?"

In that moment he had questioned every life decision he made. He thought maybe he had misheard you, so he asked you to repeat yourself. Though, you just repeated yourself, making him lightly sigh.

The final straw, when he really had to accept you were the stupidest person on earth.

He was at your house, just the two of you and you wanted a burrito. You put it in the microwave and he watched when you took it out, threw it away and grabbed another burrito.

"Why did you throw it away?"

"It wouldn't heat up."

You had said it like HE was being stupid. His jaw was nearly on the floor. When he finally gathers himself, he decides to question what the hell that meant.

"What do you mean?"

"It was still cold."

"Why didn't you heat it longer?"

"I heated it for the time on the package and it was still cold."

You were so simpleminded and he was actually impressed. He respected you, but not in the way as one respects someone. He just respected you lived this long being so stupid. He couldn't go another day without saying something.

"You're so dumb."

You turned towards him, confused, "What?"

"I love you, like a lot. But, god you are so stupid."

"That is so rude." You were looking at him wide-eyed, as he covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"You're so dumb, though. Like don't get me wrong, I DO love you, but come on."

You frowned and didn't speak to him for a solid week.

Fast foward to now, you were sitting across for each other at a cafe. Neither of you were talking, but he was looking at you, wanting to talk to you.

"So..."

You looked up at him, glaring. He could sense your anger and he leaned in, reaching for your hands.

"You know I love you-"

"Oh really? I thought I was an idiot."

"You are-" When he saw your glare sharpen his eyes widened and he coughed into his hand. "I mean.... Sometimes, your light isn't as bright as it could be."

"You're just calling me stupid in a metaphorical way."

"That's not true." He tried to justify, and your head dipped, your face going blank.

"Oh, don't patronize me."

There's a moment of silence as he watches you, trying to think of what he's supposed to say. Finally, he speaks-

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Richie's called me worse."

"Well, you and Richie aren't dating and he's just an asshole."

"Thank god," You joke, lightening the mood, "Imagine if we were though." You close your eyes, thinking about it. Though, with your eyes closed, you couldn't see Eddie's glare.

"You like Richie?" He accused, causing you to quickly open your eyes.

"What? No- God, no." You repeatedly shake your head, "I'm just saying, imagine. God, that'd be terrible," You laugh and Eddie finally lightens up.

"Nightmare fuel," He jokes, "I'm sure I'd be mad if you were dating."

"Oh yeah?" You lean on your hand, smirking. "Why would you be mad?"

His eyes follow you, a light smile growing on his face, "I'd be jealous, because that idiot would be dating the most incredible, amazing, pretty-"

"Oh, flattery? You're really trying to win brownie points."

"Is it working?"

"Well, it sure isn't hurting you."

"Then I won't stop."

[d0v3uae]

okay, i was just rewatching season 4, and i realized something, remember this scene in the airport right in the beginning of the series? Mike says “i handpicked those for you in Hawkins” most likely he got those from the field that we also saw in the end of this season, and the one of the very first scenes in season 3. now, i was watching the very last episode, and the very last scene, and i noticed when el was walking forward, she picked up dead flowers, specifically the same colors Mike got her as a gift back in the beginning (yellow and purple). this means the fall/deadness of their relationship, because as we already know, they are NOT on good terms. i mean i really tried to like their ship, but i just cant see it without being toxic, and having communication issues for example: El felt the need to lie about her life and Lenora, and how she had friends, and everything was good. why would she need to lie? shouldnt they trust each other and tell each other things like this? And back in the beginning when Mike tells Lucas that they dont want to be popular, and the airport scene when El says that she wants burritos for breakfast, Mike says something like “really? no i mean i trust you,” that scene to me meant that Mike was very awkward, and not acting like himself. and not to mention but Mikes outfit was not himself AT ALL. Argyle says “oh no its a shitty knockoff,” meaning again, that mike is acting like someone hes not in front of his girlfriend.

now, i wanna talk about the roller rink incident, because there is a LOT more stuff going on then what it seems. so basically Mike and Will are fighting while trying to find El, and Will says “well what about us?” and Will DID NOT mean this romantically, but Mike took this romantically?! Will meant it as “Ok i get it, you have a girlfriend, but what about our friendship?” Mike took it as romantic, which is why he said “We’re friend! We’re friends!” and the fact that he said it two times is also insane, and his tone of voice when he said it was so tense almost. when people in other shows/movies say they are just friends, they most if the time end up as an endgame couple. for example: the office, Jim and Pam, they both had crushes on each other throughout the first seasons, but oh look they were an endgame couple, and even got married. what im trying to say is, Mike took it romantically, when Will didnt.

And another thing with this fight, is that as soon as Mike said “We’re friends” the song “in the closet” started playing, and some people think “oh its because Els in a closet” which yes, in a way, but it was an employee’s shed. and also this song started playing RIGHT AFTER Mike assured that they were “just friends” little sketchy right? And i also just wanted to point out that after Mike said that, he saw Wills face and immediately knew he made him sad, and we can see the tension in his face almost disappeared.

now right after the skate incident, El, Mike and Will were all standing there in a triangle if i may point out, but anyways, we can see Will reacted normally, he said “oh my god..” but Mike reacted very aggressively towards it. and the camera pans over to El sitting alone at a table, and Mike and Will are right next to each other. really quickly, i wanna point a few things out. when angela takes el onto the rink, we can see Mike not care, hes just like “meh” but Will knows, so he stands up and says “oh no” which directly after he says that, he stands up so quickly, but this is weird for me. because Mike can sense when something is wrong with Will, but not El. because we see that when angela comes over to the table they are sitting at, it is very tense but Mike doesnt really notice, but Mike notices when something is wrong with Will almost IMMEDIATELY. and this is proven back in s2. so Will is closing his locker and Mike says something like “come on” and Will looks worried or even tense, and Mike immediately notices, because he says “what” many times and not to mention in his soft voice that he only uses for Will. so i think this means Mike understands Will and Will understands Mike.

i think this might be foreshadowing to the break up to Mike and El in season 5. so, once again. BYLER ENDGAME!!

[katy-l-wood]

Have you come across any research or accounts of Australian bush fires that has stuck with you? It’s been really cool (devastating?) learning about how differently fires behave all around the world. Love your balance of humour, facts, and obvious passion in your writing!

Thank you for the lovely compliment!

And I do know a bit about Australian Wildland Firefighting! Nowhere near as much as I do about American, but some. Australians, please feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong here.

But one thing I've always found interesting is that Australian Wildland Firefighters don't use fire shelters. (Incidentally, neither do Canadian ones. Actually. Now I'm curious how many countries do and don't use them. I'll have to look into that at some point.)

Fire shelters are these things:

The burrito of death.

They are meant to protect a firefighter in the event they cannot escape being burned over. However, they do not protect you from direct flame, they protect you (kinda) from radiant heat. That "kinda" is important. Firefighters do die in these shelters because they still get too hot, or they run out of air because the fire burns it all up, or from direct flame contact. They are far from a fail safe. But they DO save lives.

(Fun side fact: prior to the invention of these, the standard procedure was to dig yourself a hole in the ground and cover yourself with a big piece of canvass or burlap.)

Now, like I said, they don't use these in Australia or Canada. The general thinking, from what I understand, is that the shelters are actually more likely to put firefighters in danger because they create a false sense of safety which encourages firefighters to stay in dangerous conditions longer. I'd be very curious to see if there have been actual studies on this, or if it's all anecdotal. I'll have to look into that as well!

Personally, I think fire shelters are like anything else. They're a tool that you need to fully understand to be able to use correctly and there are some incidents where the use is warranted and helpful, and others where it isn't.

There's other things I find interesting about Australian Wildland Firefighting as well, such as their Mosquito Brigades which are just people with water tanks they can put in the beds of their trucks and they then go out and handle fires around their properties on their own. Personally, I think if you paired that with American Bravado it'd be a recipe for a lot of dead dudes in trucks, but I think there's still things we could learn from it.

I also find it interesting that shelter in place orders for fires happen a lot more in Australia than we see them happening in the U.S.. We did recently see them happen in the Smokehouse Creek Fire in Texas because the fire happened so fast there was no time TO evacuate. It's certainly something we need to study more here, and see how/when/why to apply it.

There's a book that someone on here recommended me (so sorry I can't remember who it was!) called Undefendable: The Story of a Town Under Fire that is about the Black Summer Bushfires of 2019-2020 and is a bunch of personal accounts (including some poetry!) from people who went through those fires. Great book if you want to learn more about such things!