#bugs arent like a cat or dog that you can somewhat communicate with

[laalaaisqueen]

being mean to animals is not something you should be proud to share

I don't care if you think I'm mean-an intruder is an intruder-they aren't allowed and they can ruin my whole night. I have my rights to share my opinion on things, including one of my phobias.

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Mr. Box and Isaac Stroganoff play another game even though its been so long since either made a game review that the game review community forgot who they were.

"What are we playing today?" Isaac Stroganoff said as he put his umbrella down in the corner even though the window showed it was a sunny day out. He untucked his pants, unzipped his fly, and sat by his American counterpart: misterjukebox8

"I have several questions, but for the sake of time I will just say we are playing a game you might enjoy: Yuri Gagarin Goes To The Beach. A commissioned title made in 1999 by an unknown publisher by the name of Kozakh Studios. I could not find any information on them online except a website that was entirely in Russian. Which is why I invited you to this review despite how harsh you were last time, because you might actually like this game. Its Russian!" Jukebox explained.

Isaac Stroganoff did a Russian gesture of sort of apologizing. "Yes, well, last time I played games with you I neglected to get comfortable and I may have roasted you many as a result. Was pretty funny. But now I have taken the time to settle in, I hope we can make many good video together."

Jukebox grinned, it looked like it would be a normal video for once. Just a nice, relaxing game review with no one roasting him or attacking him or breaking into government facilities.

He brushed off the old cartridge and stuck it into his "Oh hi Mark" plug-n-play console that according to a reddit post was the only console that the game was compatible with besides the Super Nintendo, which he also had but Jukebox was trying to seem less like a Nintendo fanboy.

"I did not hit her, it is not true, I did not! Oh hi Mark" the console beeped as it started up, then the loading screen appeared and it was Yuri Gagarin the rocket girl flying in a circle around the communist symbol.

Isaac Stroganoff frowned. "Jukebox, my friend, are you implying that I must like communism because I am Russian? If so, I kick many ass. Mostly yours. I will break spleens like lumberjack splitting watermelons."

"Not spleens, she is my favorite cat in the Sims..." Jukebox joked, and added "Oh and of course I am not trying to generalize you like that Isaac... Totally... I know Russians arent all the same!"

He then winked at the camera, out of Straganoffs view.

Isaac Stroganoff smiled. "Yes, good. Let us play game then, it is done with the load."

They had three options on a title screen with Yuri Gagarin smiling and whooshing back and forth in a space background with old fashioned SNES era graphics.

>New game

>Options

>Quick play

A forth option, >Continue, was also on screen but greyed out and could not be selected.

"Weird how there is no quit option." Jukebox noted.

"Quitting is for baby Europeans, not mighty Russian hordes." Isaac said snatching the controller and smashing his thumb down on "quick play"

A side scrolling stage opened up with Yuri Gagarin as the playable character. She could go in any direction since she could fly, but appeared somewhat agitated based on the pixel art. The background appeared to be a broken down industrial site with a brown and grey pallette. Jukebox shrugged. "I mean I kinda expected a bit more beach stuff out of a game called-"

"Jukebox. Please. The goal of the game is obviously to get Yuri Gagarin to the beach, dont be an American simpleton."

"But im American I cant help it!" Jukebox joked. "Hey look money!"

In the game there were alternating pillars of yellow dollar signs that spun like Mario coins or sonic rings. There was a counter at the top showing the dollar sign and a 0 next to it. There was also a high score counter which was also zero. However, Isaac Stroganoff avoided the dollar signs.

"Do you actually know how to play games Isaac, after all the times you teased me in the world of tanks video?"

"Fool. You do not grab dollar when playing communist."

"Right. Yeah those are probably hazards."

Then they saw a pulsating Stalin face, which Isaac Stroganoff swerved Yuri to grab. Their high score points went up to 1956. Apon grabbing another one, it proceeded to double to 3912.

"Oh so to get points you have to get the pulsating stalins... Makes sense, that is perfectly logical." Jukebox said with a shrug. "I never want to say that sentence again though."

"Have you noticed how wide of a behind Yuri Gagarin has in this game?" Trolli asked, poking his head from behind the couch.

"Ahh! How long were you back there??"

"Silly orange haired man has come to join us. Great, I shall enter coma and wake up when he is gone."

Yuri Gagarin in the game seemed to be flying slower now and looked more agitated, with cartoony sweat drops coming out of her head. This was probably because of the increased number of dollar signs, and what appeared to be rocket girl parts strewn around on the ground on the stage. Isaac Stroganoff just thought this made the game easier however, and continued gathering Stalin faces and getting points.

"Besides her bottom half is a rocket so it has to be big enough to carry her weight."

"Well, is not entirely inaccurate game. Russian women have much large and supple rear end. American women? Nothing. No boob, no ass, just cuteness. Good in their own way? Perhaps. If you are fool and a dog." Isaac pointed out. Jukebox scratched his head nervously "Erm... Dont get us demonitized Stroganoff... We just got this channel unsuspended after the truth or dare with ko video collab. Speaking of which what do you think of ko? Shes American but I find her beautiful."

Trolli and Stroganoff looked over at Ko from the Ko Sho, who was doing the BNHA dance after having spilled water on herself like a dork. Their eyes turned to hearts and "PERFECT!" flashed across the screen like it was a music game. Except zoomed in on Ko of course.

It was almost as if her boyfriend wrote the script for the Isaac Munger show with how attractive she was to all the characters.

Ko then started putting on cosplay and the boys went back to being boys, unpaused the game and continued.

"You know, overall, this is not such a bad game. I was expecting worse but it seems like just an old timey thematic flappy birds and you know what? I can get behind that." Jukebox admitted. "So can I play?"

Isaac Stroganoff handed him the remote. "Yes, time to get the money!" He said as the background started looking more like a beach. He darted Yuri Gagarin towards a column of dollar signs, and immediately apon touching them he was jumped by a screamer and a graphic depiction of the Russian Rocket Woman being dismantled for her capitalist sympathies. Jukebox jolted back and covered his eyes with a yelp and trolli disappeared back behind the couch while Isaac Stroganoff just looked annoyed. "We were so close to winning the quick game!!" He grumbled loudly. The lavender town music started playing about then. Jukebox, shuddering slightly, turned the power off. "Thank you for watching the Isaac Munger show everyone but we will be continuing this game when the sun is up. Or maybe not. Goodbye and thank you all for a wonderful time!"

"But is already day time outside--no wait, it is night now? Strange."

Jukebox nervously blew a kiss at the screen like usual, and called for ko to come hug him. Isaac Stroganoff looked confused. "Why is the Pokémon song still going?" He asked. "Probably just a bug... I hope." Jukebox replied, holding ko for comfort. "Nah Spookbox is probably gonna come kill us lol." Ko joked.

[youregonnasurvivethis]

help me

Anon writes:

i need advice. i’m in my late 20s/disabled depressed & unemployed. trying to get govt help but no luck im in this one program but they stopped calling me should I call back and bug them? I’m also considering college advisers but idk they’re my last resort i dont know where else to turn for help No other relatives care. I’m desperate and wish someone would give me a chance.. im running out of time. and I hate how my cousins family come here from overseas with 0 exp and get asked if they want to attend school or work and 3 months later they’re doing better then me in a year. my mom she’s mid 60s basically, and she wants to retire to her home country taking me with her permanently. thing is I don’t want to go and live there because why go from 1st world to 3rd world. there its no resources for disabled ppl and they’re treated like shit. also it’s hot I hate bugs no good shower gotta bathe outside no plumbing plus wifi over there its shit and how can i watch my tv shows, go on tumblr for escape.. and my Cousins there got there own lives to live so I won’t see them much. I rather stay here in usa and be homeless with food stamps then in a shack box with incoming tsunami warnings . what should I do? find a way to stay here or suck it up and leave forever somewhere unknown while being forever depressed and suicidal. plus she says ill get more freedom.. like really? when i was there for “vacay” i didnt do shit got invited to the beach couldnt go, movies nope, library nope even walking across the street nope also kids there wont stop staring at me and calling me names and saying “go backto your country you filthy american we dont want you here and i get thrown rock at :( plus feral dogs and cats with high risk of disease if i got bit which i almost did theres no good medical help and they show up late like i witnessed both from someone else. plus excuse my horrid grammar my writing skills arent proficient since its apart of my disorder. what should i do?! i got six months left to figure it out im also trying to apply for jobs even though i have no exp apply anyway all i have is name and address thanks.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anon, it sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate! I sympathize with you in more than one way and while I’m not an expert, hopefully I can help you make sense of some things! I’m unsure of what kind of disability you have. Can you go out and do things on your own? If yes, don’t be afraid to apply to all jobs you think you’ll do ok at, even if it is flipping burgers. No job is degrading if it’s paying for the roof above your head. That’s how you start getting experience. You say you’re in your late 20s so you’ll have an advantage as far as getting a job at places like that. In fact, you might be able to move up fast BECAUSE of your age. But don’t quote me on that. You seem to be into technology too. Why not apply at Best Buy? Or Gamestop? Or Target’s electronic section (?) or something that might interest you? Having goals, as small as they are, helps you get out of bed every morning and try your hardest. Go to the mall and walk around. See if there’s a store that’s hiring and consider if you would like to work at that store. It’s tempting to go after the jobs that offer the most money but if you have no experience, it’s a waste of time. For now. You’ll get there. It also sounds like going back to that other country with your mom is absolutely not an option for you. So that’s that. If you don’t want to go back, whether it is because it’s a third world country (it sounds like it) or because of racism (also sounds like it?) or because you plain don’t like that place, you should actively try your earnest to stay here in the US. How? Well, if your mom is leaving, you’ll need a place to stay. Again, I’m not sure about your type of disability, if it’s mental or physical, or how much it stops you for doing every day things. If you can start by getting a job, a simple job that doesn’t pressure you that much but pays enough, that would suffice. Unless you get a pretty good no-experience-required job, more than likely you won’t have enough to afford your own place by yourself (Don’t feel bad about this. We all start somewhere). Roommates might be something you’ll have to look into. You talked about College Advisors. I’ll assume you’re going to college. Is there a way you can live on campus? Work at the college? Even some community colleges will try and help you out. I’d definitely reach out to College advisors. It might feel weird to open up to them but you never know. It sounds like you need all the help you can get and you’ll be surprised by what they can do. I’d also keep bugging the government regarding the help you’re requesting. But be smart and polite about it. If you do get a hold of someone, get them to tell you how long you should wait, then go back and keep bugging them until you get answers. For example, I am fighting my own battle with the government. They told me to wait until the end of this month to hear back from them. If I don’t hear from them by then, I’ll be right and early at their offices, calling, emailing them, spamming their mail, whatever it is i have to do until I’ve exhausted my resources. I know it sounds simpler than what it is and I’m sorry you’ve reached that place where it feels like there’s nowhere else to go. This might not mean a lot right now but you’re not alone; we’ve all been there. An as cliched as it sounds, once you’ve reached the bottom, there’s nowhere else to go but up. So now that you’ve set the card on the table, develop a plan. -Family won’t help? Start trying to look for help somewhere else. Don’t spend more time wasting resources here. -Government won’t reply? Keep at it until you get answers. -No experience? No problem! Choose a simple job that requires no experience and that you can enjoy. -Third world country not an option? Good, look into all options that can keep you here where you feel comfortable. This is your life! Of course this is all up in the air. But even if things don’t go your way, at least you’ve tried. And that doesn’t mean that at that moment is when you’re allowed to give up. You HAVE to keep fighting for what you want and what makes you happy. The fight will never stop but it will be worth it. Things do get better from time to time. It’s worth being around for those moments when things pay off, even if it is in ways that you don’t expect. Hang in there, anon. I really hope this helped somewhat.