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chibistarlyte · 4 years ago

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one day

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

ayyy here’s a follow-up to my previous todobaku fic some days, this time from bakugou’s pov as he deals with the aftermath of todoroki’s depressive episode.

thank you to kat @sunshineijirou for the beta, as always! <3 ilysm!

fic can be read below the cut or here on ao3! you can also find a masterlist of all my bnha fics here!

If someone had told Katsuki, when he woke up this morning, that by this afternoon he’d be spooning with his secret crush after said secret crush jumped down to his balcony in some kind of depressive fit…

Suffice to say that Katsuki would have never believed it, even if his life depended on it.

Yet here he is, arms wrapped around Todoroki Shouto’s waist and his face buried in the back of his neck as the other boy sleeps peacefully in his bed. Or, Katsuki assumes peacefully, judging by the light snores and soft, lax features of Todoroki’s face.

Well, Katsuki thinks as he breathes a warm sigh against the other boy’s still frigid skin, at least Todoroki is safe now. It would be an outright lie to say that Katsuki hasn’t been worried about Todoroki all goddamn day, ever since he saw the other boy sitting precariously on the edge of his balcony and uttering uncharacteristic existential thoughts earlier that morning.

Just a little bit ago, when Todoroki had jumped...Katsuki’s heart had all but stopped in his chest.

Unconsciously, Katsuki tightens his grip around Todoroki and digs his nose deeper into the soft skin at the nape of Todoroki’s neck, breathing in his scent. He’s okay. He’s okay.

Katsuki jolts as he hears a loud buzzing noise, his palms sweaty and sparking in his alarm. He quickly retracts his arms from around Todoroki, afraid of burning the other boy with his Quirk. Katsuki belatedly realizes the sound is his phone vibrating on top of the headboard. Wiping his sweaty hands on his shirt as he sits up, he reaches for his phone and unlocks it with a click. A notification bubble at the bottom of the screen tells him the class 1-A group chat is active with messages right now.

Midoriya: hey guys has anyone seen todoroki-kun since class was over? he left before i could catch up with him and he hasn’t answered any of my texts and when i went to his room to check on him he didn’t answer… Uraraka: i haven’t seen him since our rescue exercise, deku-kun. are you sure he came back to the dorms? Midoriya: i mean i’m not positive but where else would he go? Iida: Todoroki-kun has been acting strangely all day...perhaps he heeded our advice and sought out Recovery Girl? Kaminari: nah bruh, i was at rg’s office after class for my broken wrist, i didn’t see him there Tokoyami: I can have Dark Shadow scope out the area and look for Todoroki, if needed. Yaoyorozu: I am worried about Todoroki-san. He wasn’t acting like himself today, and I fear to think what would happen if he’s alone right now. Jirou: which room is his???? i can listen in and see if hes there Kirishima: he’s on the fifth floor, right above bakugou’s room

Katsuki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Great, now Todoroki has the entire class worried after him. They’d send out a goddamn search party if Katsuki doesn’t say something.

So he starts typing.

Bakugou: relax u damn extras, icyhot’s with me

There’s a short pause in the chat as several people begin typing and soon enough the messages flood right in.

Midoriya: what???? todoroki-kun is with you, kacchan?! Jirou: shit, dude, he must be fucked in the head to go hang out with explody Kirishima: is he ok?? are u guys in ur room bakubro? Mina: DID U KIDNAP THE POOR LAD, BAKUGOU?!? Uraraka: can we come see him?

Katsuki lets out a frustrated sigh and thumbs back a response.

Bakugou: if any of you assholes even think about coming and pounding on my door, i’ll break ur fuckin fingers. halfie’s asleep so you chucklefucks need to keep quiet

As if to make sure the group chat hadn’t somehow awoken Todoroki from his slumber, Katsuki looks away from his phone to the sleeping boy next to him. Not much has changed in the last few minutes, save for a slight twitching of Todoroki’s nostril and the fingers of his right hand slightly curling and unfurling.

When his phone pings with another message, Katsuki sees that it’s from Kirishima. He opens their text messages.

Kirishima: hey bakubro is everything ok?? i mean not just with todoroki but with u too? Bakugou: i’m fine, shitty hair. not sure about him, tho Bakugou: he was pretty messed up when i brought him in Kirishima: what happened? Bakugou: the crazy fucker jumped from his balcony down to mine like an idiot, coulda hurt himself Kirishima: … Kirishima: ...was he trying to Kirishima: u kno…

Katsuki doesn’t want to think about the reasons behind Todoroki’s actions, behind the other boy’s strange and despondent behavior all day. He knows Todoroki’s got family issues, with what he’d overheard at the sports festival in their first year. Then, after having dinner at the Todoroki household and interning with Endeavor all those months ago, Katsuki has been able to put the pieces together well enough.

He scoots down the bed until he’s lying down again, his arm against Todoroki’s back as he holds his phone up to text with Kirishima.

Bakugou: idk, he hasn’t told me anything, just basically been a zombie the whole fuckin time. he was so cold and he wasn’t usin his quirk to warm up, bastard’s lucky he didn’t get hypothermia or some shit Kirishima: do u need anything? Bakugou: i told u, i’m fine Kirishima: ok...but srsly, i’m here for u if u need to talk...or if i can bring you anything, yeah? Bakugou: yeah, yeah, i get it hair for brains Bakugou: ...thanks Kirishima: i gotchu bro

Katsuki sets his phone on silent before locking it and placing it up on his headboard again. He rolls onto his side, chest against Todoroki’s back once again, and reaches around to touch the back of his hand to the other boy’s forehead. It still feels colder than it probably should, but warmer than before, which Katsuki counts as progress.

He settles his arms around Todoroki’s waist again and scoots closer until they’re flush against each other. Katsuki tangles his legs with Todoroki’s to help warm them up—Todoroki’s bare ankles feel cold against Katsuki’s own heated skin.

He's okay, Katsuki has to remind himself again, almost afraid that Todoroki might slip right through his calloused fingers if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

"You really fuckin' scared me there for sec, half-n-half," Katsuki murmurs against the back of Todoroki’s neck, feeling the moisture of his own breath bouncing back at him from their close proximity. "The hell did you think you were doing?" he asks the air, knowing full well that Todoroki is dead asleep and can't hear a word Katsuki is saying.

And thank fuck for that, because Katsuki can't seem to shut himself up and continues speaking.

"Don't you realize how many people care about your stupid ass? How important you are to everyone? Fucking Deku, Round Face, Four-Eyes, Yaomomo...me…"

Katsuki clenches his jaw to stop his mouth from betraying him any further. He has no idea what's compelling him to such honesty. Perhaps it's because he knows Todoroki can't hear him, knows that he won't have to suffer any unfortunate consequences of having his feelings laid bare in front of him.

Just...seeing Todoroki fly through the air, even if it was only for a few seconds...Katsuki could have forever lost the chance to say all the things he wishes he were brave enough to admit.

He sighs through his nose, his teeth gritting painfully against each other as he tightens his jaw even more. Fucking coward, he chastises himself.

"Bakugou?"

Katsuki's heart stills in his chest as Todoroki’s confused, sleep-laden voice drifts into his senses. Todoroki stiffens in his grip, muscles tense and taut, almost as if he's afraid of something. Unconsciously, Katsuki's arms tighten around the other boy’s waist and he finds his hands pressing almost protectively against Todoroki’s abdomen.

"I'm here," he answers belatedly, nuzzling his nose against Todoroki’s skin—still too cold for his liking, but ever so slowly getting warmer.

Todoroki exhales, going boneless in Katsuki's arms. There's a minute shift of his head as he digs his cheek into the pillow. "I...didn't dream it, then…" he says a bit absently, sounding so, so tired.

"Dream what?" Katsuki asks softly, his fingers tracing odd shapes on Todoroki’s skin.

"That I was here...with you," Todoroki clarifies, letting out another exhale that made him deflate like a balloon with too many leaks.

Katsuki is unable to keep from snorting. "Couldn't very well let you leave after you just—" He stops himself from finishing that thought, because the idea that Todoroki really might have been trying to off himself was too much for Katsuki to handle. "Look, you could barely walk and were hardly coherent enough to make it back to your room. I couldn't let you leave and end up hurting yourself or some shit."

Todoroki lets out a breath that sounds suspiciously like a laugh.

"Don't you fucking laugh at me, you bastard," Katsuki says without any real threat. "Sorry for fucking caring about your stupid ass."

It's then that Todoroki starts to pull away, curling in on himself. He untangles his legs from Katsuki's and worms his way out of Katsuki's arms until he’s at the edge of the bed, the two of them no longer touching.

Katsuki's heart sinks into his stomach. Damn it, there goes his stupid mouth ruining everything again.

"You shouldn't care about me," Todoroki says, sounding miles away.

"Why the fuck not?" Katsuki bites back, not liking where this conversation has turned.

"I'm not worth it," Todoroki repeats his words from earlier, and they still feel like a knife stabbing right through Katsuki's chest.

He doesn't understand why someone like Todoroki could ever think he's worthless.

It makes him...angry.

"What the fuck is it gonna take for you to realize that you are worth it?" Katsuki says in a harsh whisper, trying to reign in his rage. He knows if he explodes now, he might chase Todoroki off and cause him to do...something…

Todoroki doesn't answer.

Against his better judgment, Katsuki reaches for Todoroki’s back. His fingers barely graze the black t-shirt he's wearing before he notices a significant drop in temperature. Frost begins crawling up the shell of Todoroki’s ear.

"No, no, stop that," Katsuki says as he frantically scoots closer. He envelops Todoroki in his arms once again, willing his own body heat into the other boy to cancel out the freezing power of his Quirk.

To Katsuki's surprise, Todoroki shifts and rolls over so that they're face to face. Tears snake sideways down Todoroki’s face and melt into the pillowcase. Katsuki feels incredibly guilty for still finding Todoroki so beautiful.

Katsuki's hands find the small of Todoroki’s back, his fingers tangling in the cotton of his t-shirt.

"I'm sorry," Todoroki chokes out, squirming and wiggling until his face is hidden against Katsuki’s chest.

"Nothin' to be sorry for, icyhot. We all got shit to deal with," Katsuki mutters into Todoroki’s hair, wanting to lay a kiss along the part of red and white. But he refrains.

Todoroki just nods. Katsuki can feel his tears soak into his shirt.

They stay like that for what could have been moments or hours, for all Katsuki knows. When he hears Todoroki’s breathing even out again, and notices a faint warmth pulsating through the air, Katsuki sighs in relief.

It's amazing how one day can change so many things, he muses. Katsuki's world has been tilted off its axis in the span of mere hours, making him reevaluate almost everything he's come to learn about himself, about Todoroki. He knows, without a doubt, that he cares for the idiot in his arms. His moment of clarity had come the second Todoroki had let go of the railing.

Katsuki swears to himself that he'll make Todoroki realize how much he matters to everyone. And, maybe one day, how much he matters to Katsuki.

#todobaku #todobaku fic #tdbk #tdbk fic #bakutodo #bakutodo fic #bnha #bnha fic #my writing

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shewrites02 · 6 years ago

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Fuck Your New Nigga | Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Summary: Erik finds out you got a new nigga

Word count: 2.6K

A/n: This fic is inspired by this: https://shewrites02.tumblr.com/post/184315342705/thickoreo-imagine-getting-a-new-nigga-and-erik post by https://thickoreo.tumblr.com/ . I know I’m not one of the writers tagged but I was so hyped about this prompt. The story is kinda proof read but I also wrote it at 3 am, so forgive my oppses. I hope yall enjoy it :)

"Watchu gon tell erik?" Your best friend, Desiree, asked unboxing yet another stack of old pictures of you and erik packed before yall broke up.

You scoffed at her notion. That bastard disappeared for three months, then wants to pick up where y'all left off upon his arrival. and now you owe him some type of explanation. No ma'am. That was not going to be how this relationship worked. You are a queen and anyone who treats you any less than such doesn't deserve to be in your presence. That was that. So as for what you were going to tell Erik... not a goddamn thing.

"Fuck that nigga." You mumbled tossing the picture of y’all on the Superman ride at six flags onto the stack of trash that had compiled in the middle of the floor.

Desiree laughed. She was a little erie of your new found disdain for Erik. Especially when she was the one wiping your tears and consoling your broken heart just a month ago.

The faint noise of your phone going off in the kitchen drew your attention. You scurried over jumping over bubble wrap, picture frames, and whatever else currently covered your floor. Just when the last ring was about to end you were able to save the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby, How's the moving going?" The sweet and sincere voice of your new boo Chris sang through the other line. A part of your heart melted knowing he had remembered, another part burned knowing if it had been Erik he'd have done everything in his power to be here helping you.

"It's good. Me and Desiree are almost finished."

"I'm so sorry I had to work, I wish I could be there helping you."

"It's okay. I understand." You lied.

Erik had once faked having appendicitis in order to stay home to help you study for your Bar exam. So Chris not being able to call in one day was truly something you couldn't wrap your head around. But you still allowed it to slide. What you had with Chris was fresh, and casual. You couldn't ruin it by letting all your crazy show at once.

"How bout this... Dinner on me tonight? I'll pick up a pizza and help you set up your tv?"

You agreed, thanking him for such a thoughtful gesture. After getting off the phone you walked back into the living room with Desiree. She held a picture of you and Erik from the day you graduated law school. He had gotten you this huge bouquet of roses, along with all these festive balloons and a giant stuffed lion, your school's mascot. It was corny and all your classmates thought it was obnoxious, but it was Erik telling you he was proud of you.

"Shall I throw this one away too?" She inquired.

She saw the stress on your face. The being torn between hating this nigga's guts but missing him more each day. You had finally gotten to the point were you didn't cry at the sound of his name, and you thought you were ready to dispose of any memory of him. That you were completely over him. But not being able to part with the photos and the constant comparison of chris to him might be proof that maybe you aren't.

You let out a disgruntled huff, flopping down onto you very sketchily set up couch. The whole thing shaking from your weight.

"Just leave that shit in the box! I'm not trying to deal with it right now."

Desiree hummed some high pitched tone.

"Okay" she mumbled. Poking her lips out as she dropped the picture back into the box. "And what exactly are we telling your new nigga when he sees three boxes worth of you and stevens uh?"

"We aren't telling him anything. You are going home, and I'm hiding them."

She put her hands up in surrender another skeptical look painted of her face. She gave me a tight hug, reminding me that she is there if I needed her, and exited the apartment.

I turned looking at the mess that engulfed my hardwood floor. Most of it was bubble wrap and broken down cardboard boxes. Disposing of that would be easy. It was the three large boxes of Erik paraphernalia that you didn't know what your were going to do with. You scanned the apartment for a hiding place, cursing the open floor plan you basically begged your realtor for.

You opted to put them in your bedroom closet, cause who in their right mind would be looking there? One by One you plopped the boxes down in the back of your closet shutting the door to lock away the secrets.

Three soft knocks on your door drew your attention. Chris had made it. You made your way over and answered the door pulling Chris into a soft hug then inviting him inside. the two of you went straight to the kitchen to dig in on this large pizza.

"Dominos and coconut ciroc." Chris smiled wide holding up the bottle of liquor. " A house warming gift."

You offered him a soft smile. Erik had always known that Pizza Hut's thin crust was your favorite pizza and that peach ciroc was the superior ciroc. But you tried hard not to fault chris for not knowing this about you.

You grabbed paper plates and cups for the two of you, since your dish sets had yet to be unpacked. Yall sat at the dining room table after deciding the couch could not yet be trusted, and engaged in light conversation. You spoke about how the move was, and how desiree almost dropped every lamp you owned from three flights of stairs. He spoke about work and how his white counterparts had asked him how to get waves despite the fact his hair was curly and messy. I directed him to speak with HR. But for the most part we were enjoying ourselves.

"Smile." Chris requested centering his phone with your face. You obliged with his command making sure that your slice of pizza made it into the picture. A wide smile broke on Chris face as he went about posting it to snapchat.

Once we finished off the pizza we moved into the living room where Chris followed through on his promise to setup my t.v. He had finally gotten it mounted to the wall and now we sat on the floor trying to figure out the cable box.

"Try the red one." You suggested. No where being qualified enough to do so. You had no idea what any of these wires meant, you just were trying to be involved.

Chris sighed at yet another failed attempt and went searching google for some type of step by step instructions. You bit down on the inside of your cheek in an attempt to hide your disappointment. Erik would be able to hook it up, Hell with his M.I.T degree he could probably program your t.v to do whatever you desired.

"I'm sorry babe. I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing." You chuckled some.

"It's fi-"

You were interrupted by the sound of someone's fist slamming against your front door. If you hadn't known any better you'd assume that it was the police. You and chris exchanged glances a little stunned by the suddenness.

"I swear to fucking god, Y/N, if you don't open this door!"

You had known that voice, missed that voice, yearned to hear that voice.... but not like this. You sprung up from the floor marching to the door unlocking it and before you got the opportunity to open it, Erik shoved the door causing it to fling open.

"You break up with me and start fucking with a new nigga a month later. What you had his ass lined up while I was gone?" He hissed at you.

He stalked over to you till he was inches away from your face, his body towering of yours. But if he thought he could walk in here an indimitae you... in your own home he had another thing coming.

"What I do with my pussy isn't your concern! You wasn't worried bout me when you left for three months, keep that same fucking energy." You spat back at him.

Now pushing him away from you, he grabbed your wrists before you could fully withdraw your hands back.

"I love you Y/N, but on my daddy grave... don't ever put your fucking hands on me again." He growled. His voice was deep and husky, the same way it was in the bedroom when he was rearranging your guts. and just how it made you weak then it made you weak now.

"I guess what we had didn't mean shit to you." He continued. His warm breath grazing your cheek.

"Yeah, Erik I could say the same for you."

"Say Bruh, don't be putting your hands on her!" Chris now interjected snatching your arm away from Erik. Part of you wanted to save Chris, tell him that despite it being really sweet, fighting with Erik was smoke he didn't want. But part of you also didn't want to bruise his ego.

"I will fuck this nigga up, on everything I love." Erik mumbled his eyes never leaving yours.

You rested your hand on top of chris' arm. a silent way of telling him that although the argument maybe heated you were safe when it came to erik. A sign telling him to back down, a sign he ignored.

"Nah shawty lets see what you bout!" Chris' ATL accent drenched every word he spoke. His accent that had always been heard when he spoke but never to this capacity.

You could see Erik's fist balled and the palm of his hands were white from clenching so hard. The few traces of Erik leaving his eyes as his Killmonger gaze began to come over them. I Knew then that if I allowed them to fight, Erik wouldn't stop till Chris was dead.

"Chris leave, we got shit to hash out. I'm fine. really I promise."

Chris scoffed at you. Obviously pissed off that you would choose Erik over him, but he did not protest. He grabbed his coat from the kitchen, and stopped in front of you,almost standing between you and Erik but not quite.

"Call if you need me. Forreal." He bent down placing a gentle but passionate kiss on your lips, before exiting.

You knew he had only done it to spite Erik and a large part of you was happy he did. You wanted to hurt Erik in the same way he had hurt you. And the way his eye twitched at the sight of you kissing another man let it known, it had gotten to him.

"Oh Yall boo'd up on snap now? Must be real fucking nice uh?! "

"So you keeping tabs on me! If only you cared this much when you vanished for three months!" You had stormed off into the kitchen him following closely behind you.

"I mean someone said my girl was hoeing I had to come see it for myself."

You stopped looking at Erik with nothing but disgust and pure disbelief. 'hoeing'! this coming from the man who had a body count well into the 40s when yall had first meet, and all you did was move on from this dead relationship.

You snatched the bottle of ciroc off the kitchen counter and chunked it as hard as you could toward him. Erik ducked the bottle smashing against the wall and shattering into a million pieces before the liquor puddled at his feet.

"Don't ever in your fucking life call me out my name."

Erik's lips pursed into a small smirk. Not the playful kind he had before he would pick you up and carry you to the bed. Nah this one was darker, more devious.

"You was fucking him when I was gone?"

You contemplated lying, saying the answer that you knew would piss him off. You wanted now more than ever to be able to tell him that you didn't shed any tears over him. That you got on your city girls shit and T'd the fuck up. But you couldn't.

"Does it fucking matter?! YOU left me, YOU abandoned me. You don't get to be the fucking victim Thats me!"

Erik slammed his fist against the granite top of the island letting out a labored growl.

"IT'S NOT THE FUCKING SIMPLE!" He shouted.

"THEN FUCKING EXPLAIN IT TO ME!" You yelled in Return. Lakes pooled at the brim of your eyes and you struggle to choke out your words. "You up and left for three months and said nothing Erik. Not even bye or a phone call or text letting me know you were alive. Then you came back and all was supposed to be forgiven, I was supposed to take you back?... You wouldn't even tell me where you went!"

You could no longer suppress your tears, they freely streamed your face. Erik turned away from you, as if the sight of seeing you cry had been just too much to bear. Or maybe it was the fact that he was the cause of my tears.

"Wakanda" He sighed returning his eyes to mine. "That's where I went. And I- I don't want to talk about it. but you're right, you deserve to know where I was."

You had some knowledge of Wakanda, and the situation with Erik's dad. You knew how broken the death of his dad left him. He was forever stuck in that moment, forever that sad little boy who was never allowed to grieve because in Oakland... people die everyday. It was what made him act so spiteful and ruthless when he got angry, the feeling that the world owes him something after taking everything away from him. The cause of his immature communication skills that caused explosive fights like this one.

"You could have spoke to me about it Erik... I would have been there for you. I could've went with you."

He shook his head no. His eyes glossy from the tears swelling in them.

"Nah you wouldn't, cause I was acting hella outta pocket.” A single tear fell. He used the back of his hand to wipe it away before looking back at you.

“You didn't need to be apart of that. I just- I thought the one thing I could count on was you being there when I got home. And when you wasn't, when you looked me in my eyes and told me to go 'fuck myself'... I thought there go another fucking person abandoning me. " You opened your mouth to speak but erik cut you off. "And that ain't on you. I should've no better than to leave and not say nothing, but I needed to do this alone."

You didn't have much more to say. You waltz over to Erik grabbing onto his shirt and pulled him into you until his lips were on yours. You had missed everything about Erik, but you probably missed his lips the most. You pulled away and saw the boyish grin on his tear stained face.

"I'm sorry I called you a hoe, I ain't mean that shit.” He dragged his hand down his face, erasing any trace of his fallen tears. Allowing him to resume being the cool calm Erik Stevens the world saw.

“And I'm sorry you had to put up with that lame nigga for a month!" He now joked.

You smacked his chest, telling him that Chris had been a great rebound. You even tried to rub in the fact that he was helping you set up the t.v. Erik looked back into the living room then bursted out in laughter.

"That shit ain't set up!" He walked over and fiddled with the wires. Within 5 minutes Erik had ESPN playing.

He flopped down on the couch causing it to make a loud creaking noise before it wobbled all the way to the floor. You couldn't help but to laugh.

"That nigga also help you 'set up' this couch."

#erik killmonger #Erik × reader #black panther #black women #black reader #oneshot #fanfic

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spectraspecs-writes · 6 years ago

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@troodon17 here’s that story bit, under the cut

btw anyone else reading, please let me know of any other trigger warnings I should add, I added all the ones I could think of

I copied this from my notes, so obviously it still has notes to myself. In my document they’re colored blue, but I’m on the desktop so i can’t do that here without a lot of effort, so I just put the strikethrough through it, they are also in brackets. (In case I missed any.)

Note, David’s got a lot of internalized homophobia and it really affects his self esteem, so hence the repeated “queer!” because he gets very upset at himself for thinking gay thoughts. So he’s trying very hard to stay in the closet because he’s convinced people will hate him, and... gah, i love this so much.

Now, as for the name. They weren’t Blair Wizards at first, but they did like the name Blair and David was the lead guy, so they kept tossing around all these variations with Blair. They’re at a bar - this is great. David is trying to work out “how to be straight”, because besides having absolutely no idea how to imply sex around women, he’s just a polite guy who doesn’t know how to flirt at all.

David started over at the bar, watching a man (who looked a little cute, maybe QUEER okay, maybe not) talking to a woman. He was leaning up against the bar, facing her, and she was sitting sort of daintily on the stool, seemingly listening intently. David could sort of hear him - “Let me buy you a drink.” He couldn’t tell what she said, but the man sat down next to her, with this charming smile and this sort of… was it sexy? look in his eyes. Not sexy like… ooh yeah sexy face I should be in movies, but more like “yes, sex me, lady.” (Yes, David, that was so smooth, exactly what he was trying to say.) [Bruh, you are so sassy even to yourself. I don’t know if I can take this, man. David, your descriptions.] Then it seemed like he was talking about himself for a little while, and then David saw the woman uncross her legs and cross them the other way. She leaned on the bar on her arm. Then the man said, “Hey, you wanna get out of here?” And they both stood up and left. The woman had a sort of sway in her walk. Were they… yeah, probably, you awkward duck. Great, that phrase of your sister’s is now firmly in your vernacular. Wonderful.

“Dave!” Kit clapped her hands in his ear and he turned to look at her. “Are you even here right now?”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” David said hastily, “I was…” He made a motion with his hand like his brain had left his head. “Sorry, I just… zoned out.”

Greg chuckled. “Yeah, you were looking at a girl, right?” he said rhetorically.

“Greg, I was…” David started to deny it. But wait! You have to look straight, otherwise they won’t like you anymore, you fucking queer. He smiled a little. “Yeah, you got me.” he said. Then he added awkwardly, “Spying me some ass.” You awkward duck. [Jesus, David, you are an awkward duck. I was shaking my head at that phrase before but there is no better way to describe you. Perfect. Flawless.]

“Yeah, I knew it, you dog!” Greg exclaimed. He wrapped his arm around David’s shoulder and they both looked towards the bar. “Which one was it, the blonde or the red head?”

Fuck I wasn’t actually looking at one. What the shit do I do? Which one would be sexier to a straight guy? Shit, the blonde actually looks like my sister, if I say that is it weird? Just answer, you fuck, before he gets suspicious. “The red head,” David answered finally. Yeah, and that weird looking mole on her back. Why the hell did she wear a dress without a back? [David, I can’t handle this. This is getting to be too much. You are just… This is all coming from the guy who later uses words like “fabulous” with the accompanying hand gestures and is determined to please Mallory and Aaron, and yet this is all still perfectly in character. You are just so goddamn sassy.]

“Ooh,” Greg said, and he had a pale imitation of the other man’s sexy face on his own. “Go talk to her, man, I think you’ve got a chance!”

“No, Greg, no,” David said, shaking his head and smiling, “No, we’re working here, we’re doing band stuff.”

“Yes, and you were so involved in that a minute ago,” Kit said sarcastically.

“Yeah, man, go talk to her,” Montrell chimed in supportively.

“Go!” Greg said.

So, slightly nervously, David stood up and went over to the bar. Great, they can’t hear me here. Maybe I can just act like I’m talking to her and then later go tell them she turned me down. Yeah, great idea. He went up to the bar and ordered another of his drink. Then he thought, Wait a minute. Are you ever going to have this sort of opportunity again to practice being straight? Maybe she does turn you down - fine, you don’t want to fuck her anyway. What are you going to do, though, if she wants to “get out of here”? Like the guy earlier. Well, what’s the chance of that? I mean, she probably says no anyway, right? “And another one for her,” he said confidently, “On me.”

The red head looked him over with a small smile. Not a polite one like he usually got, but more… interested? “Thanks,” she said. Her voice was sort of deep. Still feminine, but not squeaky or really high up like any of the girls he’d heard before, or even like Kit’s. Just kind of low. (Mr. Rhodes had called that an alto, hadn’t he? Jesus, David, you awkward duck, why the hell are you thinking about vocal ranges right now? Who’s even to say she sings any?) “Aren’t you gonna sit down?” she asked.

Fuck fuck play it off play it cool. “Just waiting to be invited,” David said smoothly, and he sat on the stool.

“Oh, a gentleman,” she said, sort of raising her eyebrow a little, “Haven’t met one of them in a while. Quite a rare breed.”

Do I even say anything to that? [My lack of experience is such an ally here. I honestly don’t know how David gets this off the ground. Talk about a wizard.] “Hi,” he said as the bartender set his drink down, “I’m David. David Blair.” He put out his hand for her to shake.

“Cassandra.” She shook it. “Ooh, that’s quite a lot of callouses there,” she commented, “What do you do with these hands?”

“I play guitar. That’s what I do, I’m a guitar player.”

“Oh, a musician,” she said, with a hint more intrigue sneaking its it way into her string-like voice, “How fast can you go?”

How fast can I go? That’s a weird question - what is she even looking for from me? But shit, don’t act confused. He raised his eyebrow sort of flexing it. “Pretty fast. Bit like van Halen.” There aren’t even that many callouses on my right hand - is she looking at my left, because that’s weird. Maybe from all that time I spent finger picking, I guess. Damn, this is weird.

“Mm,” she hummed softly, “I’d love to see what you could do for a woman.”

Shit, is she about to ask me if I want to get out of here? Shit fuck shit shit what the fuck do I do? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kit leave. Greg, get up and follow her, just go. You too, Montrell, just get the fuck out of here because I am not going to fuck this girl. I can’t get it up for a girl QUEER! Shit, how long have I been quiet? And fuck, what do I say? “Yeah?” he said smoothly, not reflecting one ounce of the panic within, “What do you need to have done?”

She put her hand on his leg and leaned in sort of close. “Me…” she whispered. Fuck are they supposed to be this horny? Is this how it is for straight people? Is that why there are so many of them - girls are just so… eager? [yeah, this is a kind of easy transition and that’s why I’m going with it, but head cannon time, maybe she’s a lesbian trying to play straight, like David is but backwards. So she doesn’t know how this is supposed to go, either. But what about a less pleasant head cannon? She is a serial killer who kills men at climax. David’s gayness may have saved his life. What the shit, Brain? What is wrong with you? She dyes her hair red with the blood of her victims. No, God, shut up. That is just insane. yes, yes very insane. Go away…]

Okay, now, what do I do? Is this the right moment to…? “So,” he started, trying to mimic the other man’s sexy face, “you wanna get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” she said in a sort of sultry? voice, “Walk me home?”

“Glad to,” he said. Okay, maybe this is just going sort of gentlemanly what the fuck are you thinking you awkward fucking duck she’s going to want to sex you! Yes, David, that is the term for it. She got up from the stool and David followed her. He saw Greg make several weird… victory gestures, sort of. Yeah, okay, dude, just be careful I don’t steal all your weed or fuck with your guitar. I will get you back for this you fuck. She led David to her apartment, which wasn’t all that far, maybe a couple buildings down. “Well, she said, “this is me.” David sort of smiled and hoped to God this was the end of this. “You wanna come up?” she said. Fuck fuck you have to say yes.

“Sure,” he said, trying to keep up his straight facade. He walked up the steps and joined her. Her apartment was on the second floor. She unlocked the door and went in, then David went it.

She slammed the door closed behind him and pounded him against it, kissing him. Fuck how do they do it in the movies? What the fuck I don’t want to fuck her what the fuck do I do? He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her back, because what the fuck else am I supposed to do? He sort of massaged her head a little. Then she stopped for a brief moment, breathing heavily. “You got protection?” she asked.

“No…” Fuck what the fuck fuck fuck…

“Oh, fuck it, I’ve got some…” she said, and she resumed kissing him, “… in the bedroom.” Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and am I supposed to be breathing like that too? Well, I’m already panicking, so that’s just a different kind of adrenaline. Fuck fuck fuck…

She sort of pulled him further in and pulled his shirt off over his head. She turned him around and shoved him and suddenly he was on her bed. Fuck this is going to be just like that girl Dad told me to fuck isn’t it I’m going to be throwing up all night. Greg I’m going to fucking kill you! David felt sort of paralyzed, watching her as she wriggled out of her dress. It fell around her legs - fuck why is this woman not wearing a bra did she leave expecting this fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… She climbed on top of David and unbuttoned his pants, kissing him. David could feel her breasts on his chest fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. “Come on, you sexy fuck, show me what those fingers can do!” she exclaimed. Woman you are NOT a guitar! She sort of took his hands and placed them on her hips. Oh fuck she wants me to undress her oh fuck fuck fuck. David wasn’t even sure how - he was trying to detach himself and not pay attention - but he ended up above her and her underwear was off. Maybe I can just try to appreciate her as a really well built guitar even though I don’t want to fuck a guitar that would actually hurt I mean, where would I put it? Between the strings? That’s… ouch. So he ran his hands up and down her curves yes, there’s the cutaway so I can play up on the 20th fret oh wait that’s not a fret fuck fuck that’s gross how is any man straight because this is just so fucking disgusting oh and fuck it’s wet is it supposed to do that fuck that’s gross! But she seemed to like it. “Oh, baby, yes, that’s magic!” she exclaimed loudly. [I’m imagining the neighbors - “Oh, look, Harold, Cassandra’s having sex again.” “The shameless hussy.” And then back to the evening news. And now I’m laughing even more.] [Furthermore, I want her to specifically say the word “wizard” but I think this is the only way I can do this.]

David stopped. Like he was frozen. He looked up at nothing. “Magic…” he said, like it were the most brilliant thing he’d ever heard. “That’s it. Magic.” Hastily he stood up and zipped his pants. “Thank you,” he said to her, “You’ve been a big help. This was great.”

“But…” she said, confused.

“Thank you so much.” With his clean hand, he grabbed his shirt from the floor, pulled it on over his head, and left her apartment.

No wait, fuck was there a bathroom on the first floor because I am not going anywhere near my car with this… gross liquid… on my fingers, and I think I’m feeling nauseous so… There was! There was a bathroom on the first floor. Wash my hands, cough up this filth, and get on with my life. But then it was quick back down the street to his car. Good, Greg and Montrell are gone, good they won’t see me fuck I am not doing this again. Tell them you prefer to fly solo, peer pressure, you can’t flirt when they’re around, whatever shit they believe. He had to go talk to Kit. He had to tell her he finally had a name. Blair Witch! No, wait that was that weird horror movie in the 90s, wasn’t it? God, that movie was awful. Okay, what about Blair Wizard! But it’s not just me though, it’s more than one, what about Blair Wizards, with an “s”! Ha, the perfect name!

He dashed up the stairs to Kit’s apartment and hastily knocked on the door. “Kit?” he said loudly, “Kit?”

Kit opened the door and looked at David with tired eyes, her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. “I finally figured out the perfect name for the band. It’s perfect. I can’t believe we didn’t think of it right away.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, and it was sort of muffled because the toothbrush was still in her mouth.

“it’s the best name ever. What do you think of ‘Blair Wizards’?” he said, breathing heavily from running up the stairs.

“You walked out on sex just to tell me this?” she asked in disbelief.

David breathed in, thinking for a moment. Fuck does she think I’m gay now? Fuck. “Yes,” he said. “Can I come in? I think I need some water.”

“What?” she said, “Yeah, yeah, come on.” She went back into her bathroom and spat out her toothpaste. “How’d you come up with that name?”

Do I tell her do I not tell her that feels out of weird, either way. “Just… came to me,” David said with a shrug as he got himself a glass of water from her sink.

“‘Cause if you got it from anyone we might have some copyright issues or something like that. Russ will be all over that.”

Well, she won’t be anything to worry about. She has no idea about this or how I’m using it. And she didn’t mean to give me the idea, so… “Nothing to worry about.”

“Well, it’s a good name. I like it,” she said, “So we’re all wizards. Neat. But since you’re the lead guy, I think you’ve got to really run with it.”

“Come on, Kit, Brendon Urie doesn’t make panicking or discos his bit. MCR doesn’t bring hazardous chemicals or lab coats on stage.

“You’re not Brendon Urie or MCR.” Kit came out into the main room and sat criss-cross on her couch. “Hate to break it to ya, Dave, but…”

David chuckled a little. He leaned on the wall and looked at her. “What are you thinking, though? I come out on stage looking like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice?”

“Not so much,” she yawned, “But maybe like a stage character or something. You know, like… oh, what was that band that killed Santa in concert?”

“No, yeah, I know what you mean,” David said, “So you’re thinking like a spectacle, make it a real show.” He bit his lip and looked down at his shoes, thinking. “I guess I could learn some quick magic tricks or something. Or maybe… What if I have a sort of costume on stage, and my guitar sort of mimics that? I could call myself the Wizard, have a bunch of magic references in the set and any songs I write.”

“Dave, that’s up to you. I on the other hand would like to go to sleep, please.” Kit said, “And you need to head out before Greg sees you here.”

“Right, yeah. See you tomorrow.” David started to leave, then he turned back. “Hang on, how did you know about Greg?”

“I’m smarter than you guys think.” She shook her head. “Good night.” She ushered him out the door and locked her door behind him. David went to the stairs and left.

#tw sex #tw swearing #tw self loathing #specs writes stuff #original writing #gay single dad story #gsds #lgbt+ characters #lgbt characters #tw queer #tw q slur #i don't think it's a slur but it's used as one #hence the tw #tw homophobia #tw internalized homophobia

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uberff · 7 years ago

Text

Chapter 13

Jaylen

I been looking ugly ass hell with this facial hair growing out, so it was time for me to shave. Just as I put on shaving cream, my phone started to ring. I could never have time to myself and chill.

“Sup?” I answered my phone, putting it on speaker before I sat it on the cabinet. I literally just shaved a week and a half ago. Shit grew faster than coochie hair.

“Jaylen can we talk?” I heard a feminine voice that didn’t sound like Robyn’s. I furrowed my eyebrows and tapped the screen to look at the caller I.D. The number wasn’t saved so I ain’t know who the fuck it was.

“Who dis?” I put my razor down, focusing on whoever I was on the phone with. Rob would beat my ass.

“Ty..” I heard her sigh as I sucked my teeth and scratched the back of my head. She stayed calling whenever my life was going good.

Robyn was my girl now. She would constantly take time away from her clients whenever she could, and make sure I was straight mentally. I was back painting as if I never stopped. Everything was perfect. I wasn’t falling for Ty’s shit this time. I need to stop answering my personal phone for random numbers.

“I got a girl now, so that fake crying shit that you be doing to get some dick ain’t bout to work this time. What you need?”

“I miss you, Jaylen. I’ve tried moving on, but I just can’t.”

At this point I was fed up. People was forever trying to pop in and out of ya life like they ain’t do shit wrong like you supposed to forgive them in a second. As soon as you do one wrong thing, it’s the end of the world.

She the main reason why the only homie I got is O. My nigga Rocky was like a brother to me. I met him when I started selling dope and shit. We ain’t get along at first cause both of us cocky as shit, but after almost dying one night, I saved his ass and we was tight ever since then.

Fast forward like two years later, I go to jail for some fucking drugs that wasn’t mine. Turns out, Rocky and some of his niggas got busted and my name came up. I was the only nigga that had to do time. Don’t even get me started on what else I found out about him. Whenever I see the nigga, Ima kill him.

Throughout all that shit, Ty held me down but she was forever nagging about my lifestyle. If ya nigga sell dope, you gotta understand that it’s not as fucking easy as 123 to get outta that shit. It takes time and that’s what she failed to realize.

When I went to jail, she was pissed off when I told her the reason why I was in there and after that, I ain’t hear from her. No response from letters, calls or nothing. I figured that she was hurt, so I wasn’t really upset about it.

I got out early due to good behavior and I planned on kicking her ass to the curb, but I didn’t wanna throw the damn relationship away. I get to her place and this bitch fucking pregnant as hell, bout to pop.

Last time we fucked, it wasn’t raw so I knew she was fucking around on me.

I heard rumors that she was fucking Rocky but I knew she was better than that. I guess I thought wrong, cyause as soon as I seen her stomach, he came out the bathroom in a robe. If it wasn’t for O sitting outside in the car, I would’ve been back in jail because I was gone kill they asses.

Bitch had me sending love letters and shit while she was out here fucking my homie in our bed.

I cringed at the memory and tried my best to not think about the flashbacks. “You had ya chance bro. You went and got pregnant by one of my homies when I was suffering for some shit I ain’t do. You'on miss me, you miss my dick. That’s all our relationship was about to you.”

“Jay, that’s not true. I’ve apologized millions of times, why can’t you just forgive me?” I shook my head before hanging up and going straight to my call logs to block her number.

Just as I started to block her, I had an incoming call from Robyn.

“Wassup?”

“You called me earlier.”

“Oh, I was tryna see where you was.”

“Getting my models ready for this shoot.”

“Oh you want me to call you later then?”

“Yes please.” She said before quickly hanging up. I swear since it was NYFW, Robyn been busy as hell. I only see her like two times and that was just because she had left her purse.

Between that, and me having some shit up my sleeve, I was just ready for all this shit to be done. I hated being away from here for too long. Not to mention I was sexually frustrated.

To top that off, she was mad at me cause we had a little mishap during sex.

*Flashback*

“Hey babe, I’m just getting my purse.” She said as she quickly walked into the kitchen. She had a short ass shorts and a crop top that I just wanted to rip off of her at the moment.

“Why you in a rush?” I kissed her neck, walking up behind her and holding her in place.

“Jayyyyy, you’re gonna make me late! I have an appointment with a client!” She act like she wasn’t the boss.

“Just the tip.” I lied.

“No.”

“Stop playing br-” I was cut off by the sound of her phone ringing. She sucked her teeth and checked her watch.

“It’s not gone take that long.” She gave me a look and just slightly bent herself over on the edge of the counter. I knew she was frontin’.

“Hurry up.” She spat.

“Fuck up, don’t rush me.” I smacked her ass before sliding her panties over to the side. Just as I was about to slide in, Winter had walked in the kitchen and quickly walked out once she noticed what we were doing. “I didn’t see anything, I didn’t see anything, I didn’t see anything.” She constantly repeated walking back towards O’s room.

“See! You said nobody was here.” She smacked me on the back of my head, fixing her panties.

“Damn, I thought nobody wasn’t. She went back, we got time.”

“Jaylen you really bout to sell your soul to get this nut huh?” I chuckled at her joke.

“We ain’t did shit in a minute, not even kissed.” She smirked before reaching for my zipper.

“Fuck, I’m bout to bust.” I grunted, feeling my nut build up. I tapped Robyn so that she could get up but she just kept going. “Just like that.” A moan slipped out as I pushed her head down, but I ain’t even care.

In a blink of an eye, it had gotten on her face but most had got in her hair. “Jaylen!” She hissed, angrily. I guess she wasn’t into that type of shit.

“Bab-”

“You got some in my eye!” She groaned, storming to the bathroom while holding her eye.

“I ain’t mean to, come here!”

*Flashback Over*

Ever since then, we ain’t did shit cause she thinks I did that shit on purpose. I told her ass to get up and she ain’t wanna listen.

I chuckled at the memory, because she made me sleep on the couch and everything that night.

I was about 10 seconds from strangling Robyn, real talk. She just pissed me off to the max by associating with that nigga at the park. I hate that she’s so fuckin’ friendly.

*Flashback*

“Bring yo ass, I ain’t leaving you over here by yourself.” I tapped Robyn as her lazy ass refused to get up from the bench.

“Jaylen, the car’s literally like 5 steps away.. I’m fine right here just go.” I hesitated at first but just said fuck it cause she was being difficult for nothing. Now if a bear pop out and eat her ass up its gone be my fault.

Brushing the thought off, I unlocked the door to my car and grabbed my camera that was sitting in the backseat. I barely used it, but this shit was bout to be full of shit today.

Grabbing it, I shut my door before locking my car back up. As I got up, I noticed more niggas over in the area that rob and I was in. See this the shit I was talking bout.

I had to do a double take, because I know I ain’t see who I think I saw tryna Mack on Robyn. To make matters worse, she was entertaining the shit. As soon as he put his arm up, I snatched my gun out of my jeans, bussin’ with no questions asked. I told this nigga whenever I see him it’s over.

By now, there was a shoot out that went on for about a minute until his pussy ass hopped back in the car with his buster ass niggas.

I went over to the bench and seen Robyn ducking on the ground. “Why the fuck were you talking to him?!” I barked at her as I tucked the gun back in my Robin jeans.

“Where the hell did you get this gun from?”

“Robyn, fuck allat shit, why the fuck was you letting this nigga put his arm around you?!”

“I told him I was here with you!”

“You should’ve fucking walked away but you kept the fucking convo going! If ya ass would’ve went with me this wouldn’t even have happened!”

“I’m going home.” She rolled her eyes, walking towards the parking lot.

I hope she didn’t think I was fucking finished.

*flashback over*

“Man I need a fuckin’ blunt.”

“No! We’re going to sit here and talk!”

“You not my fuckin’ mama Bruh, if I wanna smoke that’s what the fuck Ima do.” I barked at her as she rose her eyebrows.

“I’m just looking out for your health, but fuck it. Do you, bye.” She grabbed her purse and left out of the front door with no hesitation. I didn’t stop her either.

Shit had me fucking livid.

I used my key that Dell gave me to get into they crib so I could check on Rob. I blew up on her a few hours ago and I felt like shit once my adrenaline and temper cooled off, I swear I don’t be meaning half of the shit I say but, it’s the only way to get niggas out my face. I gotta chill out with Robyn though, she’s so delicate and sensitive, I don’t wanna push her to no limits. We got potential, just need growth and go the right way about communication.

I heard Ashanti’s angelic voice coming from the kitchen and I furrowed my eyebrows. House was dark as fuck, who was tryna summon demons with love songs? I stuck my head in the kitchen and saw Rob at the table with her sketchpad and a glass of Crown Royal Apple. She don’t drink so I know I pushed her to the edge.

“Wassup, baby?” She stopped shading for a split second then went back to it.

“Rob, c'mon. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“Are you ever? Every goddamn time I turn around, you’re blowing up on me like you’re the only nigga that’s been through some shit. I’m sorry about what happened but I have fuckin’ feelings too, as your girlfriend, you should try to hear me the fuck out sometimes.” This was the most shes ever cursed.

“Babe, you right.” She scoffed and smirked darkly. “What the fuck ever, Jaylen.” She mumbled and I ran my hand down my face.

“I’m tryna apologize. You not makin’ this shit easy. Seeing that nigga brought me back to a dark place in life, as my girl, you should be tryna hear me out.”

“Don’t twist this shit and throw it back on me. Fuck that game, I’m not tryna play. A few weeks ago, I was in that same place. You’re not the only one that got cheated on and a baby came out of it. You’re not the only one who lost a fuckin’ parent, I lost two! You wanna one-up me on trauma? I can go on for days.”

I sighed and peeled her body from off her chair and onto my lap. I kissed her neck and rested my forehead on her back. “I’m tryin’, Rob. At least gimme that.”

“I’m trying too. I’m trying to be there for you all the damn time with the tantrums and you shut me out. Why are we even together?”

My eyes teared up and my mouth went dry. “I love you, my nigga. Whatchu don’t feel the same?”

She dropped her pencil and turned around to wrap her arms around my torso. “I love you, Jaylen. That’s not why I’m questioning this. How can we hold each other down if we sometimes can’t hold a conversation without a fight?”

“I’m a fuck-up, Robyn. My upbringing ain’t have the Full House talks, kisses and hugs. I ask questions after I fuck shit up. I’m not used to the coddling, man. Seeing that nigga again woke a side of me that I promised to keep dead.” She wiped my face and played in my splotchy facial hair.

“I get that. Lickin’ shots off in broad daylight and cussing me out for telling someone you’re my boyfriend is extreme, baby.”

“You told him you was mine?” I felt like shit. Seeing that nigga all touchy feely on my baby shoulder had my blood boiling.

“Ain’t I?” She smiled and kissed my cheek long and tenderly. “You wanna talk now, DMX? Barking ain’t the way to go with me, I almost packed my shit and went ghost on you.”

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her waist, stealing a sloppy, yet powerful kiss from her. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

“It’s okay if you’re not. It’s STILL hard to talk about my parents.”

“It’s hard as fuck. I trust you to make me feel better though, I gotta get it off my chest.”

“I’m here.” She put our foreheads together. We a force when we together, I swear. I don’t deserve her, she deserve much better.

Robyn

Girl you done got thick since the last time I measured you.“ I smirked as I boosted one of my loyal clients. I was designing her birthday fits and we’ve been in my damn office all day which is located in our condo. This is why I’ve been working on putting a store together.

“I’ve been eating girl.” She chuckled holding her arms up, so I could measure her waist. After joking around for another half hour, I finished her measurements and we started to talk about more ideas regarding her outfit before she left. She was the last client of the day and I couldn’t wait to put this damn business phone on silent and relax.

Don’t give me wrong, I love all my clients dearly. What I loved the most was seeing the looks of satisfaction on their faces once their pieces were finalized. I loved making women feel pretty. Black women at that.

It’s just that this damn phone blows up left and right and it’s overwhelming sometimes. I loved what I do though, so let me stop complaining.

As I started to go upstairs to my room, I noticed Odell lying on the couch with his arms over his face. He wasn’t sleep. He was just in a funk because his ankle was broken and they had lost their game Sunday.

“You’ll be back on the field in no time O.” I sat down next to him. I wanted to offer to watch movies with him for the rest of the night, but whenever something was football related and it was bad, he wanted to be alone. He didn’t take losses very well.

“This shit would happen right in the beginning of the season.” He huffed, staring up at the ceiling.

“We all gotta have a minor setback for a major comeback O. When you get back on that field, everyone’s gonna feel you. You gone come back 10 times harder, and I promise you that. You got this O, so there’s nothing to worry about. Get your rest and think about how you out to murder these niggas when you get healed.” I assured him as a small smile slowly started to creep on his face.

“You right.”

“That I am. Now get some sleep.” I kissed his forehead, propping his leg up on his pillow so that he could be comfortable. “Need anything before I go?” He shook his head no before pulling me down to hug him.

“I know ion say it often but I love you, aight?” He didn’t say it a lot but the many things that he had done for me proved it, so was fine with that.

“I love you too.” I smiled before walking out and shutting his door behind me.

By now, everything was taken care of and I was about to fall asleep any minute. As soon as I felt myself about to go into a deep, well needed slumber, a pair of arms wrapped around me. I hadn’t talked to this fool all day, the audacity.

“Boy hell no, where you been at?” I turned around to face him. Now I was wide awake. Yea shit’s been strange ever since he blew up on me, but I’m trying to get over that.

“I got caught up in some shit. I had to finish painting this rec. cause the deadline’s tomorrow.” He said as I rolled my eyes. I knew he was lying cause every time he’d paint, he’d smell like it or have some on his clothes. He looked like he was getting ready to go to a party right now. This nigga was fresher than a peppermint.

“Yea whatever Jaylen. I’m sleeping on the couch.” I started to grab my pillow but he stopped me.

“Bro, I’m telling you that’s what I was doing. Fuck you think? That I’m out here cheating?” I didn’t think he was cheating at all, but what does he expect for me to think? You’re coming home late every night, lying about where you’ve been. I just got out of a relationship with a cheater of course I’m gonna think something is up.

“Ain’t nobody even said all that but if the shoe fits then wear it. You over here snitching on yourself but since you brought it up, are you?” He chuckled bitterly before staring at me for a few seconds. I knew he was about to start talking shit from that little laugh.

“Get ya insecure ass on bro, nobody cheating on you. I wouldn’t be with you if I wanted to see other people. I ain’t checkin’ for nobody else. I’m here wit you right now, right?” I know he wasn’t trying to call anybody insecure.

“Insecure?” I questioned.

“Hell yea.”

“Jaylen, please do not go there with me because I will hurt your feelings.”

“Try me.” I didn’t even have it in me to bring up all the times he’s cried to me about how he’s trusting me not to hurt him, so I just kept quiet. I’d be a bitch to bring up something so touchy for him to speak on, but shit he was doing the same thing.

“Just get out of my face. As a matter of fact, go home. Please.” I pushed him off of the bed. He stumbled a little before standing up straight in front of me with a stupid smirk. “Go home! You’re getting on my nerves!” I yelled, trying to push him towards the door but he stayed still the whole time.

“Girl I ain’t goin’ no fuckin’ where, this is my home. I belong right here witchu’ so get yo ass back in that bed.” He chewed on his toothpick, smiling at me. I huffed and climbed back into the bed as he followed right behind me.

“You must want some dick huh?”

I ignored him, closing my eyes. I didn’t want anything after he decided to let it rip on my face without my permission last week.

“I love you.” He said, kissing my cheek as he started to get comfortable. I soon said my prayers before drifting off into the sleep that I’d been waiting on all day.

Just like the past two weeks, I woke up and Jaylen wasn’t by my side. I’m locking my damn door tonight. He can stay his lying ass at home. He could at least tell me where he’s been going, what if something happens to him? I wouldn’t even know.

Grabbing my phone off of the nightstand, I scrolled through my contacts before finding his name and pressing on it. It went straight to voicemail like every other time. Yea, I give up. Jaylen could kiss my ass.

“What you doing wit his shit?” I heard Odell ask as I carried Jaylen’s things out to the hallway in front of his door. He wants to play games? Cool.

“Putting it out of my room.” I shrugged, as I shut and locked our front door once I was finished.

“I just talked to him this morning, he said everything was cool.” He looked confused.

“Well he lied to you.” I said before going in the kitchen to get a water bottle.

“Why y'all gotta be into it now? I’m tryna rest.” He groaned, putting a pillow over his face.

Shitty Neighbor🙄: Robyn why the fuck is my shit in front of my door??????

Shitty Neighbor🙄: Helloooooo I know you ain’t doing shit, you see my fucking messages

Not even a second later, he started beating on the front door because it was locked. As soon as he did that, O had jumped because the sound scared him.

“y'all niggas playing too much.”

“ODELL OPEN THE DOOR.”

“NIGGA IM FUCKIN’ INJURED!” He yelled back, putting his beats on so that he could tune us out.

“Stop fucking playing Robyn!”

As he continued to knock, I went back up to my room so that I wouldn’t have to hear him. He was gonna be out there all day.

“I knew that hairy ass baby wasn’t Jaylen’s.” I heard Winter say as she scrolled through Kayla’s instagram. I’m assuming she had the baby already because Win’s been over here talking shit for the last 10 minutes about how their baby looked like a monkey.

“You ain’t no prize either so shut up. Ive seen ya baby pics and you looked like a lil gremlin.” Odell fired at her as I started to instigate. He didn’t like when people talked about kids.

She waved him off as he shook his head before limping out to the patio. “I’m so glad you didn’t let him get you pregnant.” I looked away.

“Well..” I sighed, preparing to tell her what’s been up with me.

“BITCH!” She yelled, as I quickly shushed her. She was the first person besides Qua that I was telling this to.

“After he told me he cheated, I found out I was pregnant the same night he went to jail. Between that and Jaylen hating my guts at the time, it was just too much. Constantly going back and forth with both of them was so stressful. Jaylen was pissed off because I wouldn’t stop seeing Kai, but I was only doing it because I was pregnant. I didn’t even wanna tell Kai at first because having kids is a sensitive topic for him.”

“But It’s like almost a year later?”

“I lost the baby.. which is why I just went ghost for the couple of months.”

“What!? Aw Robyn I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You’re literally the sweetest person I know.”

“No, it’s fine. I was pretty hurt but I think it was for the best. Kai’s ass probably gonna rot in there so raising a baby all by myself would’ve been hectic.”

“That’s true.” She sighed, embracing me in a hug but I chuckled and let her know that I was fine. Yea I cried and cried at first, but I’m learning to get over it. I didn’t wanna tell anyone because they’d start to baby me. Especially Jaylen.

“Don’t tell anyone either! You know you have a big ass mouth, Win.” I pointed my finger at her as I spoke sternly. Winter was known for running her damn mouth and she knew it was true.

“Girl, who would I tell? You don’t just go up to people and causally say, "Oh yea girl my homegirl Robyn had a miscarriage.”

“Mhm, knowing you, Odell would be aware of it by tonight.”

“Not at all, we beefing right now.”

“If a bitch have beef with me, she gone have beef wit me fuhevaaaa’!” We heard O’s voice come from his room. He watches too much damn TV to know who said that.

“Get your brother.” She laughed as she started to pick up her purse and head towards the door.

“I’ll see you later, call me whenever you need something girl. I mean it. If you don’t want to tell O or Jay, I’m here.” She gave me an assuring smile before leaving. I knew she meant it because she’s never nice. Not even to O.

I smiled and grabbed my sketchpad that was sitting on the table. Whenever I got something off of my chest, drawing designs were a piece of cake. As soon as my pen touched the paper, I went straight to work. It was as if everything else around me disappeared and I was in my own zone.

Well that went on for about an hour or so until it started to storm and the thunder damn near made me scream. I would text Jaylen but I wasn’t talking to him right now so I guess I’d go chill with O. He was probably asleep. Nothing could wake him.

I sighed and closed my sketch pad, quickly running to Odell’s room. He was more than likely knocked out from the meds that the docs gave him for his ankle.

“Delly.” I shook him, calling him by his childhood nickname. He remained sleep, in the same position with his thumb in his mouth.

“Odell!” I said louder but he still didn’t bulge. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his phone to flash the light on him. On the screen I seen a text message from Jaylen.

Jay🤙🏽: lol is u ded

I shook my head at his childish ass, and tossed O’s phone back on the bed. I didn’t want to go to Jaylen’s place but I knew he was probably doing something fun and productive cause he wasn’t scared of any damn thing but God.

As I left out of the front door, I shut and locked it pausing as I stopped in front of Jaylen’s door. I twisted the knob, and it was open which slightly pissed me off a little. Growing up, my parents never locked the doors and now they’re gone.

I brushed it off and just walked in, only to hear Michael Jackson’s legendary voice blaring throughout his whole condo. He must’ve been in deep thought about something.

Searching around for him literally every where, he was no where to be found which was weird. I started to remember that I didn’t check his basement.

While I walked down there, the music got louder and louder. As Human Nature was playing, I could hear Jaylen’s voice singing along with the song and he actually sounded like an angel. I crept up behind him and noticed that he was looking through a photo book with family pictures in it. I was probably the last thing on his mind.

I slowly wrapped my arms around him as he remained still on the bean bag and continued to flip through the pictures. Most of them were pictures of him and his mom or him and some girl that looked familiar.

I kissed the side of his face as I started to feel his hand squeeze mines. “What’d I tell you about the door?” I put my chin on top of his head.

“I wasn’t thinking bout it, my fault. You still mad?” He questioned as I gave him a look. He smirked and put the photo album on the table before picking me up bridal style.

“Jay, you’re not getting anything so I don’t even know why you’re smirking.” I rolled my eyes as he gave me a “yea ok” look.

I don’t know why he thought this was a joke. He lost his privileges.

I woke up in my naked glory, covered in cold sweat focusing on my surroundings after another uncomfortable dream. When I realized that I was in Jaylen’s room, I tensed down and went to check my phone. It was a quarter to nine and still no sign or notification from Jaylen. I sighed and threw his comforters off me before going to take a shower with some music, maybe that’ll give him enough time to check himself, I take long ass showers, ya’ll.

Kitty Kat by Beyoncè played loudly and I captured my life under the spray of the water. If this shit wasn’t my relationship. I grinned wide and fucked up the harmony that Bey sang effortlessly.

“You know I hate sleepin’ alone, but you said that you would soon be home but, baby that was a long time ago! I’m not feelin’ it, I’m not feelin’ it!” I screamed at the top of my lungs while exfoliating with my mask. All the stress of work and Jaylen’s clown ass had me breaking out like never before so I gotta hydrate, who knows? This cute ass face could be on a billboard one day, I pray, man!

While Beyoncè had the power to take my mind off Jaylen, I brought myself back to thinking about him. We were doing so fuckin’ good up until last week and now, I could barely get a hold of him and when I do, he never sticks around long enough for me to ask him anything. Hella suspicious, huh?

“Fuck this.” I mumbled and turned the shower off, feeling much better than I did prior to me getting in. I got dressed into something simple and went to my contacts. I swallowed my pride and tapped his name with the lowest expectations, he never answered but this time, he did.

“Yes, baby?” he answered like shit was sweet. I blushed at the sound of his voice and twirled my hair while responding.

“Where are you Jaylen?”

“I’m out baby, making shit happen. Where you at?” I looked at the phone and started cussing him out with the phone on mute.

“I’m in your bed but guess what?”

“What’s that?”

“You’re not fuckin’ in it. At least you’re not fuckin’ me in it. Why are you never here anymore?” I mumbled, going misty-eyed. I’m tired of crying over relationships!

“I gave you some before I left. Chill, I’m out painting for a client.”

“This late?”

“When the money call, I answer.”

“But when I do, you hit decline?” He sighed and put his husky voice on and started talking dirty.

“Jaylen, it’s curtains for that. I’m tired.”

“Sleep, Rob. I'ma be there when you wake up.” he hung up and I threw a tantrum on his big ass bed. HELL NO!

I went back over to my house after locking the damn door and went looking for Winter. “WIN!” I screamed so loud that Odell shuffled in his sleep.

“What what?” she mumbled on Odell’s chest.

“Come here, you said you’d be here. I need you.” I sobbed and she shot up and put her shorts on, leaving the bedroom all to Dell.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she croaked, squinting from the light since I woke her up.

“Jaylen’s cheating on me.” I blurted and her face dropped. “That’s whatchu woke me up for? Girl, Jay’s mark ass loves the shit out of you. He worked hella hard to getchu. He’s not dumb enough to lose you this quick.”

“That’s what I thought. I called it two other times and ignored the damn signs. My first ex was lying his ass off and cheating right in front of my face, and Kai…you know.” I paced back and forth and she motioned for me to sit down next to her.

“So whatchu wanna do?”

“I wanna see for myself.”

“You wanna see him drill another bitch?” she asked with her eyes wide open.

“No, I wanna see if he’s really cheating on me, Winter.”

“We could clone his phone like Angela did Ghost on Power. This shit was so player.” she smirked. “That’ll take too damn long so we gotta go old-fashioned. I gotchu though, I had to spy on your brother a few times.”

I rolled my eyes as she slipped on my Uggs. We hopped in my truck while she tracked Jaylen’s phone. It was taking us deep into the downtown area. “Jay messin’ with the white, cigarette-smokin’ hoes?” she asked, popping her head out the window to greet the working women on the corner.

“Winter, focus!” I yelled, pulling her back down by the loop in her shorts. “Aight, aight! Ooh shit, he’s calling!”

She threw the phone back on my lap and I tossed it back on hers. “Nigga, I don’t like him. Answer his cheating ass phone call.”

I answered and tried to sound as natural as possible. “Hey,”

“Rob, you still good? I’m on my way back in a little, you want some food?”

“No Jaylen, I just want you.”

“Gimme like 15 minutes, I'ma be speedin’ in the fast lane.” he laughed but I didn’t. This shit was like dejavu.

“Jay, do you love me?”

“Of course.”

“Promise?”

“pROmiSe? Yeah head ass, I love the shit outta you. Why?”

“I just…I don’t know. I wanted to hear you say it.”

“I ain’t like your last niggas, I mean it, baby. I’m just busy right now, once I finished this work, I'ma be back up under you.”

“Okay.” I sighed. Maybe he wasn’t lying.

“You wanted me to say so say it back. Fuck you think this is?”

“I love you.” I recited with no hesitation. And I do, too damn much.

“Got my heart flutterin’ and shit. Let me get back to work.” he mumbled before Winter started tapping me viciously on my arm.

I whipped my head in her direction and she pointed across the street. “That’s his bitch ass right there with a white hoe.” she whispered loudly and I covered the phone.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in a little.” I hung up and pulled over, putting my head on the steering wheel with Winter consoling me.

A/N: Let me know if there’s any errors or if I skipped too much! I didn’t check!

#chrisbrown #chris brown #teambreezy #soooraven #obj

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