#bro is lethal when you actually look at it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunavrse · 1 year ago

Text

DREAM GIRL

CHARLES LECLERC

summary ★ : charles decides to take a page out of justin bieber's book. let's see how that works out for him.

category ★ : smau.

notes ★ : disregard all times and dates, they don't matter. all spelling mistakes are intentional. everything is fake and unrealistic but thank you delusion. terrible flirting and the usual type of jokes/language you see on the internet.

me basically:

tagged: yourbestfriend

Liked by yourbestfriend, yourfriend, user61 and 147 272 others

youruser so proud of ﹫yourbestfriend, she absolutely killed it and even took some cool pictures of me💚🥂 new video coming 🔜

View all 534 comments

yourbestfriend thank you for coming my love💚

youruser always😘

yourbestfriend it's not hard when you have such a gorgeous subject

youruser thank yewww

user6 stunning 😍

user12 you look amazing and ﹫yourbestfriend did fantastic!

user89 THE DRESS🤩

youruser i knowww, it's from meshki

user3 you're a beauty

user62 i need to know where the dress is from 🙏

youruser it's from meshki !

user56 can't wait to stare at the screen for the next few hours

user47 isn't her videos usually like 20~45 minutes?

user56 i know what i said

user1 oh !

user9 she did her big one😌

user11 pretty!

yourfriend serving face and body

youruser 🤍🤍🤍

user24 face card is lethal

user61 ﹫charles_leclerc

user60 ❤️🔥

user77 can we get a little commotion for the dress🗣️🗣️

Liked by pierregasly, user61, landonorris and 516 382 others

charles_leclerc who is she? if anyone knows, please tag her.

View all 3 272 comments

user4 nah, this guy

user26 this is crazy.

user92 WHAT IS GOING ON ?!!?!!

user5 is this real? like am i actually seeing this?

user15 he's got to have been hacked

user25 ain't no way

user13 actively going insane thanks to this actually.

user8 giving me flashbacks to december 8th, 2015

user14 i've got ptsd 😭

user10 from what? the war?

user49 bros acting like they were in a war💀

user8 it was a tough time to be a jb fan 😭

user3 IM CRYING

maxverstappen1 is this who we are, is this what we represent??

user3 max is done💀💀

charles_leclerc i said i had a plan, not that it was a good one mate

user1 wish it was me he's looking for

user45 that's me!

user86 in your dreams maybe

user58 get over yourself<3

user20 ﹫youruser

user67 She's so pretty, I want to cry

user76 she's so pretty, i want her

user48 ^^two types of people

user93 my brother in christ, stand up!!!

user50 BRO FORGOT HE'S FAMOUS😭🔥🗣️

user07 he's just like me fr

user84 mans is moving mad📢

user100 this is embarrassing

user34 think im gonna be sick

user30 don't be so dramatic

user51 i don't blame her

user70 she's obviously the prettiest girl ever🙄

user68 ﹫youruser !

user97 that's me !

user59 I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now

user31 side eye

user29 who is she? she's stunning

user40 why is my fav youtuber in this picture

user46 iconic actually

user17 I know we can't see her face clearly, but she's serving

user21 i know her!

user37 what's her ﹫

user21 it's ﹫youruser, i follow her

user101 i want harry styles to do this but with me

user88 me too lol

user65 this is down bad behaviour

user201 thanks for ruining my day 👍

user248 it's giving wattpad vibes

user119 charles, look at me, this isn't you, think about the kids

user996 i was genuinely scared this was a hard launch

user123 alexa play that should be me

user8 how ironic

user147 ﹫youruser

user313 that's my girlfriend ﹫youruser

user05 praying for this girl cause the toxic charles fans, yikes😬

user000 gonna be delusional and pretend it's me 😁

user128 see i was so excited when i saw the notif and now i'm just 😐

user01 i cried when i saw this post btw

user306 imagine he posted a pic of asking who u are ﹫user43

user43 pls i would cry

user61 ﹫youruser

user007 idk and idc

user400 this is me if you even care

Liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc, user4 and 253 953 others

youruser hello new people, where'd y'all come from?

View all 1 753 comments

yourbestfriend do you not check your notifications or...

youruser you know i don't

user245 girl...

user4 im in love with you lol

user500 just came from ur yt video, i'm so glad you had fun at the event!

user16 so this is the girl my husband is leaving me for🥲

user04 charles leclerc in her likes😭😭😭 ooh i'm sick

user287 then you're not gonna like this... he's flirting w her

user04 just fell to my knees in despair

user61 so real for that last slide

user56 pretty😍

youruser tysm pretty girl🤎

user791 charles mfing leclerc posted you!?!!!

user792 charles mfing leclerc liked!!

user793 charles mfing leclerc commented!!!

friend3 let's kiss 💋

youruser 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

user005 i too wish to kiss all the pretty girls

user800 idk what's going on rn but i loved your latest video, you and yourbestfriend were so cute and seeing you guys backstage together was sooo wholesome

user494 the part where they saw each other and started hyping each other up was my favourite

use712 her looking up a makeup tutorial 2 hours before she had to leave was so me

user55 he's in her likes y'all!

user942 thanks bud, i would never had noticed without u

user039 oh so she's dumb and ugly 😒

user44 and you're bitter and jealous...

user91 CHARLES LECLERC KNOWS YOU EXIST

use222 I wanna kiss you too 😞

user777 personally, i came from yt

user420 hi *louder than everybody else*

user311 what lip liner are you wearing babes?

youruser ﹫makeupbymario brown lip liner : )

user42 need a makeup tutorial!!!

charles_lerclerc my fault 🧍‍♂️

youruser i'll let it slide cause you're cute

charles_leclerc you think i'm cute? giggling, kicking my feet

youruser and blushing?

charles_leclerc mhmm, yeah

user0 THEY'RE FLIRTING!!!!

user456 deffo flerting

user942 YEAH?!???!!!!

user011 you guys know dms exist right???

user0 damn, i wanted to see this play out more 😭

user811 chill, my man is on this app

user35 she a baddie she know she a ten

user555 face card is never declining 😍

user411 do i want to date you or be you?

user87 so real!

user05 so we all saw them flirt right?

user942 yes😭

user28 STAY AWAY FROM HIM

user69 GET A JOB (directed to you user28)

Liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, user12 and 443 854 others

youruser day(s) n night(s)

View all 2 748 comments

user103 nottt her trying to be sneaky👀

yourbestfriend am i seriously losing you to a MAN???

youruser 'm always urs pooks💚

yourbestfriend tell loverboy that

user656 charles' new nickname is 🔥

user48 the way charles was here in the first few minutes of her posting💀

charles_leclerc et le prix de la plus belle fille te revient [and the award for the most beautiful girl goes to you]

youruser merci beau garçon

user12 Them speaking French to each other is all that I'm thinking about rn.

user707 A YT MAN?!?!?! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!!!

user349 wish she was calling me a beautiful boy 😭

use117 i see you 4th slide, studious queen🤧

user824 charles try not to be a simp challenge

user107 level : IMPOSSIBLE

user41 ﹫user23 50 quid that's charles

user23 do you think i'm stupid?

user41 do you want an honest answer or?

user23 do you want to tell me your lastest test score or?

user41 ...

user23 yeah that's what i thought

user662 noooo pls don't be who i think it is

user35 she a baddie with her baddie friend(s)

user723 okay but the lashes ate💅🏾

user991 this is so weird, why are you posting him?

user75 you don't even know if that's him and you're already being defensive over a man who don't want you or even know you exist? don't pmo. get off her page!!!

user940 me when😔

user129 what about us?

user130 what about everything we've been through

user329 who is that man girl

user477 so are we just gonna ignore charles' comment or...

user452 just made me even more sure that it's him

user02 pretty girl<3

user170 if my future boyfriend don't bring me flowers on the first date, i don't want him🙅🏽‍♀️

user244 we get it, for some reason charles leclerc wants you😒

user311 ugh,,, the lip look always eats

user710 real, I'm obsessed

user536 is that charles?

user537 be serious, that is not happening

user539 ok 😐👍

user536 i actually can't be sirius, he's dead. hope this helps👍

user863 imagine that's not him and we're all just being crazy

user37 if that's not him, he's probably crying

user11 shittt, I would too, look at her

user29 he's probably the guy in the photos

user163 we all saw that interview right? it's definitely him

user288 yass, he looked so cute

user565 enough about charles, can we focus on how pretty she and her friends are??

user479 10s across the board fr

user504 I thought you were for the girls 😭

user716 i'm calling it now, that's a date w leclerc

user231 you look stunning 😍

user406 anyone noticed how he liked? he wouldn't do that if she went out on a date with someone else right?

user410 only everybody with eyes?

alex_albon yeah, no, he would be sobbing in a corner if that wasn't him

user410 ARIANA (Alex) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

use535 so he couldn't have fumbled, right....

user534 well...

user210 alex is just here to create chaos and honestly, i respect that

user73 please don't post your man again😒

user66 real!!! i come here to see you not him🥲

user711 love to see women getting treated right 😌

user385 slide 6 made me sick to my stomach

user858 he brought her flowers😫

user132 PLEASE DON'T BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE

user705 that HAS to be him

user701 you never know, sometimes he is his own worst enemy

user898 did NOT 🚫❌ like this

user999 what if this was my last straw

tagged: charles_leclerc, youruser

Liked by user, pierregasly, user0 and others

allthingsleclerc local (monégasque) man seen out with mystery woman who sources claim is yn

View all 843 comments

user624 why is she still serving while blurred

user210 liked by pierregasly 🫣

user833 charles' friends are exposing him 💀

user0 that's definitely ﹫youruser

user04 serving cunt and he's there ig

user547 just becoz it's blurred doesn't mean you can't tell that it's her

user622 he looks miserable, he doesn't like her😭

user595 what? are you of sound mind?

lunavrse pls don't look too closely at the picture 😴

user923 What's the square root of 64?💅🏾

user700 they're just minding their business, why can't y'all do the same?

user674 it's a public place

user700 ☝️🤓 it's a pUbLIc PLaCe

user103 no bc they're lowk matching 😭

user933 it's so over😭😭

user72 that's so cute🥰 who wants to have a sleepover on the highway with me?

user33 that could just be a coincidence?

user172 i actually don't care but THAT DRESS, i need to know where she got it from

user32 oh ! i didn't realise that she was actually his type

user79 ... i wish there was a side eye emoji

user18 oh that's not-

user32 nonono in a sense that he usually dates like brunettes

use499 wdym, 'm pretty sure she is brunette?

user03 we know what you meant lol

user270 wish i could live in delusion

user320 he's probably paying for everything 🙄

user419 and? he's literally a millionaire, if he wants to spend his money on his (alleged) girlfriend let him. it's not your money

user232 girl, pipe down

user890 I don't see the problem?

user52 why do you assume that? do you know her financial situation? or you a close friend of either of theirs who knows what's going on? if the answer to these questions are no, shut the fuck up, thanks<3 peace and light to you.

user562 try not to say mother

user587 [failed]

user612 Why can't she stay away from him?

user258 why can't you mind yr business?

user718 first picture of them out together and they look great

user106 her rn: damn i'm the only bitch serving cunt here😭😭 omg😭 i'm so embarrassedd😭😭😭

user211 she should be at the club, not on gossip pages😭

user261 fuck she looks too good, i wanna kms

user211 real

user586 took a social media break and came back to this😃 great !

user404 i wanna say parents🤭

user648 this actually made my day

user446 Gonna sleep on the tracks tonight🥰

youruser and you're kenough for me❤️

charles_leclerc thank you barbie !

most beautiful barbie ever❤️

landonorris this ken's job is simp

charles_leclerc you'd be a simp too if you could actually date such a stunning woman but you can't 🫶

landonorris you're a cruel, cruel man

Liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, lilymhe and 749 365 others

youruser me gusta la mar🏖️

View all 2 836 comments

yourbestfriend wish i was on a boat right now😔

youruser i literally invited you and you said no?

yourbestfriend i have to face unimaginable horror (work)

user12 that boat looks familiar

yourbestfriend you look stunning babes💚

youruser tysm, means the most coming from uuu pookie 💚

use501 forget about charles and give me one(1) chance pls

charles_leclerc me gustas tú

user779 SCREAMING

user784 chill, it's a song lyric

user779 yeah but have you heard the song???

charles_leclerc gorgeous view, and the sea looks good too i suppose

youruser my view was much better but thank you<3

charles_leclerc i doubt that. je pourrais te regarder pendant des heures sans jamais me lasser. [i could look at you for hours and never get bored]

user055 someone is coming for your smooth operator title ﹫carlossainz55

user964 Charles Rizzclerc???

yourbestfriend she's screaming btw

youruser no i'm not

yourbestfriend then why do i have a vn of you screaming?

charles_leclerc 😊

user96 it's quiet🤐... no back talk

user71 stay focused my brothers, we must stay focused

user53 i am looking respectfully, i promise

user131 when will someone tell me the things he says to her🙃

user677 everytime you post a picture my jaw drops

yourfriend oh my gorgeous coco butter melanated caramel skinned goddess, please notice me🙏🏾

youruser oh you've got jokes🤨

yourbestfriend GOODBYE😭 im showing this to ur man

yourfriend you really thought you did suttin🤣 he knows who he's dating😋

user22 I would sacrifice my favourite duck plushie for just one chance to be in your presence 🙇‍♀️

youruser that's so sweet yet so disturbing pls keep your plush safe

user22 Yes queen, whatever you say 🫡

user803 if you look close enough, you can see me drowning myself in the ocean 🤗

user70 forget vroom vroom boy n give a g(ay)irl a chance😫

user312 charles in his simp era

use314 love to sea it

user312 that's a terrible pun and i hate that i laughed

user2 you know who has a boat??? charles

user057 the way that you're actually glowing in these🫠

user717 i love the hat, it just kinda brings the whole thing together

lilymhe you look amazing! and i love the bikini!

youruser tysm🫶🏾 i love u!!!

user742 a friendship i never knew i needed

user335 Since when did Lily and Yn know each other??

user386 since they're both wags, it only makes sense

user360 but yn's not a wag

user386 yet

user109 hi lol

user634 her body is teaaa

user7 did someone say body-ody-ody-ody

user19 he can do so much better than you

user482 I know you want him but I can be so much better than him in so many ways, I swear, please please please please *begs excessively*

user888 Does Charles have her post notifications on or what?

user938 i'd say yes cause how else would he like her posts so fast

user064 the swimsuit is everythinggg

user229 it's giving hot girl summer ⛱️

user177 i could start a whole new ocean with the amount of tears i've cried

Liked by user621, youruser, pierregasly and 927 375 others

charles_leclerc me gusta el viento

View all 3 276 comments

user905 he knows exactly what he's doing

user200 Not him having the exact same meal picture as her

user080 let's talk about the matching captions

user621 most beautiful man I've ever seen

youruser me gustas tú

user331 Y'ALL ARE NOT SLICK

user331 in fact, you're both so sick for playing with us like this

user774 we know you like the wind, we've seen your hair

user405 jajajaja

user607 okay, you might have nibbled with this a little

user775 jail!!! do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars

user379 what she said wasn't even that bad nor untrue

youruser now THIS is a view. tu as ta place au louvre avec toutes les autres grandes œuvres d'art. (you belong in the louvre with all the other great works of art)

charles_leclerc oh ! thank you, i am so normal about you and this comment

pierregasly great, now he's glitching and going crazy in the group chat again

user2 AGAIN?!?

alex_albon spoiler alert ⚠️ he was not normal about this

user125 who blames him? not me. instead, i am insanely jealous

user457 WHY ARE THEY BOTH BREAKING OUT INSANE LEVELS OF RIZZ?

user508 oh he's so fine🤤

user933 the matching captions and matching replies,,, god I'm NOT your strongest soldier

user36 yesss king, give us beach!!!!

user078 well, boat but yes!!!

user649 he said im speeding up the soft launch

user573 by 0.25x speed

user649 at least it's something?

user378 honestly i will take these crumbs instead of absolutely nothing

user269 i LOVE crumbs 🤤 mmhmm😋

user120 is really considered a soft launch when they make comments like THAT?

user801 someone sedate me, im unwell🤒

user903 he's trying to thirst trap us into ignoring the 4th slide

user754 well it's working😫

user028 charles!!! te amo 😘

user753 gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure like a rat/mouse with a giant block of cheese

user136 One like and I'll drown myself.

user112 why did you like it🤨

user136 Damn Nessa, mind ur business😐, why did YOU🫵🏽 like it?

user388 them posting sea/boat pics on the same day? THEY'RE TOGETHER

user33 hear me out, it could be a coincidence

user388 *shakes you violently* HOW MANY COINCIDENCES DO YOU NEED

user770 i think we're focusing a little too much on the wrong thing here

user911 if i said what i was thinking, i'd be banned from this app.

user762 can't wait to see you at the next race! praying for a podium finish🙏!

user63 Who are you taking pictures of Charles???

user894 Gee that's a tough one/s

user720 he didn't really think we'd ignore the 4th slide

user402 i am here to do some good ole fashion SLUT shaming🗣️📢

user309 Love them trying to out-compliment each other

user61 he has such a gorgeous smile

user7 actual post of you and ﹫youruser when?

user633 nobody wants to see that

use105 speak for yourself

user708 😍😍

user808 i don't know who's luckier, her or him

user809 both, both is good

user007 hope you're having fun destroying my heart😭😭

user169 charles please, please, do you need a dog because i swear i can bark. in fact i am barking and drooling violently rn

user196 you really get me

user45 he's taking pictures of me y'all 🫶🏼

user502 🥵🔥

user19 you can do so much better than her, i promise

user67 i cried a little when i saw your post of her was still up

user64 I feel like a Victorian man™ seeing a woman's ankle for the first time 😵‍💫

user664 feeling like how teachers think boys feel when seeing a girl's shoulders

user325 don't forget to keep applying sunscreen!

user04 he's so pretty, i'm sick to my stomach.

user758 he tryna kill people i swear

user99 honestly, i think he looks so at peace/happy and i'm grateful for that

user74 you're honestly ruining my life by not being mine 😭😭😭

user981 that looks like too much food for 1 person

user523 that's because im with him🤗

user296 screaming, crying, throwing up, banging my head against the wall, wailing like a banshee.

tagged: youruser

Liked by youruser, user291, landonorris and 973 638 others

charles_leclerc play all mine by brent faiyaz

View all 4 726 comments

user39 just fell to my knees in a Walmart

youruser this is not the soft launch we agreed on mon bijou

charles_leclerc just wanted to show you off mon ange

youruser oh !

user505 ALL MINE BY BRENT FAIYAZ!??!! oh it's really over 😭

landonorris can't even get picture creds for the 4th slide

user444 you didn't even get a reply 💀 everybody point 🫵🏼 and laugh

landonorris just looked at your bio and it says ln4, i really is your own fans😞

user528 can't believe she invented green 😮‍💨

user553 them in the photobooth, fuck, is it hot🥵🥵 in here orrr

youruser who is she???

charles_leclerc oh you know, just the love of my life

youruser kicking my feet, smiling SO hard right now. je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime.

charles_leclerc je t'aime encore plus mon ange❤️ (i love you even more my angel)

user378 The launch we've been waiting for

user957 the way they're looking at each other, parting my hair with a knife 🤪

youruser you're obsessed with me

charles_leclerc well, yes! am i not supposed to be??

user39 no shame in admitting it, i respect that🤷🏽‍♂️

user291 serving cunt like she got a master's degree in cuntology from servington universitea

user239 charles, can you fight because i feel like i'm gonna steal your girl

charles_leclerc ... you have five seconds to delete this🙂

user805 If I speak...

user806 charles would probably block you

user575 charlessss i can make you happier, trust me

youruser no, i don't think i will

user575 my bad girl, didn't think you'd see this.

maxverstappen1 you guys are so sickening, please get a room

charles_leclerc who even invited you???

youruser wow max, i thought you liked us

maxverstappen1 YOU DID

maxverstappen1 not enough to watch you both be so touchy sorry

yourbestfriend my stunning girl💚

charles_leclerc i think you mean, MY girl

yourbestfriend i'm not arguing with you, ﹫youruser please come get your man

youruser i think 'm gonna stay out of this...

user332 when will someone post me to my fav brent faiyaz song🫤

user333 manifesting getting posted to stay down 🕯️🙏🏾🕯️🙏🏾🕯️🙏🏾

user334 my wedding song frfr😩

user018 why did daddy's home start playing 🛐

user12 FINALLY

user618 is your girlfriend single?

charles_leclerc read that first part again for me

user466 KHCJTSURS 5HE HARED LAWNCH

user540 not one word spelt correctly, open the schools!!!

user843 who is cutting onions😭😭???

user785 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM

charles_leclerc feeling really blessed 🙏🏻

user912 this is so unserious 💀

user440 love love love 😘

user54 love a black woman from infinity to infinity!!!

user113 in the words of dove cameron, i could be a better boyfriend than him. trust🙏🏾

user53 NOOOO YN come back to meeee!!!

charles_leclerc i think she's good here, next to me

user17 can't breathe!!!

user17 hottest gf alive

user17 she looks too good i can't breathe 🫠

user27 showed this to my therapist and she's finally gonna let me kill myself

user065 to be shown off like this,,, i beg

pierregasly the fact that we were together in the last slide...

charles_leclerc but is this a friend group hard launch?

user513 call this hard launch an ugly twink the way it cannot be topped

use488 CALL IT WHAT NOW🎤��

user83 the wording is CRAZY

user48 not Charles beefing with everyone in love w his girl💀💀

user259 just bought a whole house with the 1st pic. her face card is insane

user613 kissin the screen😙

charles_leclerc kissing her👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

youruser ok that's enough

user613 oooohhhh you got scolded 🫵

user6 LETS GO TO PARIS😋

user084 the audacity to use that emoji, ijbol

user40 i hate you

user40 i'm sorry that was jealousy speaking, so happy for you❤️

user069 i - no words

user675 charles, I heard she throws rocks at orphans

charles_leclerc i'm not an orphan but she can hit me😊

arthur_leclerc NO SHAME😭

youruser i do not throw rocks at children, ﹫charles_leclerc hi

user675 yeah, i lied but he's something...

Liked by charles_leclerc, user61, yourbestfriend and 985 732 others

youruser think i like you best when you're just with me and no one else...

View all 4 662 comments

user73 didn't i say don't post your man 🥲

charles_leclerc who is that guy?

youruser he's just this guy i'm hopelessly in love with

charles_leclerc he's very lucky❤️

youruser we both are❤️

user23 we all know who it is girl🤣🤣🤣

charles_leclerc i can't believe you didn't post a single picture of me where my face is visible 😪

youruser i hate you, you know we agreed on the soft launch

charles_leclerc you hate me? so enemies to lovers😏

youruser 🤦🏾‍♀️

user704 she's so mean to him, what does he even see in her

user202 you know there's this thing called banter and he's a grown man who can make his own decisions?

user525 can't wait for the future videos of her at any of the grand prix races

user4 he's got a grip on you in every picture i've seen of y'all together so far, like chill lil bro, she's not gon run away🤣🤣🤣

user206 he's actually just like me bc if she was my girl...

yourbestfriend the best launch because we don't have to see his face

user180 ur so real ily

yourbestfriend jokes, but I'm happy for you both💚

youruser love you💚

user16 i'm so😭 happy😭 for you😭 both😭

user444 lover gyal era!

user407 must be nice to young, sexy and in love

youruser it really is🥰

user350 do y'all need a third, a dog, a maid, or anything really because i can do it all!

user110 shattered.

user12 feeling giddy asf like i'm the one who got posted😵‍💫

user61 you two look great together😊

youruser thank you aoife🤎

user61 you KNOW MY NE?$?$?_? SHE KNOWS MY NAME JEJEJEJ IM SCREAKING

user08 lord, i see what you've done for others 🙏🏼

user940 when will it be me.(with you)

charles_leclerc never, not even in the next thousand lifetimes 🤣

user838 CHARLES???

user839 OHMYDAYS?!?!

user516 the rope in my backyard looks so tempting

user133 I love k. so much

user48 feet? for free? in this economy?

lilymhe leave him for me, let's run away together💒

youruser packing my bags 🛍️

charles_leclerc ﹫alex_albon please come get your girlfriend

alex_albon lily... what is this

lilymhe as the saying goes, never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your wife

charles_leclerc NOT MY GIRLFRIEND THO

youruser boooo tomato tomato tomato i'm throwing tomatoes🍅🍅🍅

charles_leclerc mon ange???

user909 lily was cooking ♨️🍳

user102 remember everyone, he is NOT a mountain, he CAN be moved!

user00 Donatella VERSACE💜

user6 i love the eiffel tower

user315 because you're parisian, right????

user57 i don't think that's the reason💀💀

user510 do you want another boyfriend?

user204 i just think it really weird that you're not posting his face when he literally posted multiple pictures of you on his account, like what are you hiding?

user832 i think it's weird that you don't know how to mind your own business? like it's crazy that you think you're entitled to a reason. this is her account to do what she wants with it, even if she posted him, you'd complain. so please, just shut up.

user278 not my boyfriend having the audacity to steal my girlfriend from me🫤

user98 honestly if I looked like her, i would not know how to act

user122 facts

landonorris what is with you and your boyfriend not giving credit for pictures i take???

youruser this isn't about you right now��🏾

user444 at least you got a response this time

landonorris again, for someone who has ln4 in their bio, you sure like to bully me

user444 you think this is bullying? i can actually bully you if you want

landonorris no, i'm good👋🏻

user303 that one girl was right about you liking the wind a lil too much

user926 yeah this is cute and all but can i land this backflip off a cliff?

user376 those flowers are so pretty 🤍🎀

user401 driving home in the wrong lane tonight🤣

user527 the way i was right the whole time and now my friend owes me money 🥰

user830 you guys are such a cute couple

user010 this would have been such a good soft launch dump of we didn't see his hard launch 😅

youruser added to their story.

user09 posting a man to MITSKI?! oh it's serious, ur actually down horrendous

yourbestfriend hard launching on ur story when you soft launched in a post is crazyyyy🤣🤣

youruser hard launching when i see a ring 🤗

nah, im kidding but if they want to see him, go to his profile🤷🏾‍♀️

yourbestfriend IKTR 💅🏾

user215 now my man's gonna expect me to post him on my story like this😑 but i forgive you queen 🙄

landonorris finally made it in a post!

youruser finally you can stop complaining 🫶🏾

landonorris why are you and charles so mean to me

youruser because you deserve it, hope this helps🙌🏾

francisca.cgomez double dating with you was so fun! can't wait to do it again 💞

youruser yes! gonna go bother charles to make plans for another one soon 😁

user121 the sun drawing around ur eyes🥲 crying, that's so effin cute

yourfriend not you being all sentimental with the daniel caesar song AND the puzzle pieces

youruser damn, can't even do something nice🧍🏾‍♀️ see if i post you again

yourfriend you're so dramatic pookie

user531 the bear and the flowerss, please where can i get man like that😖

user479 so many gorgeous girls🥰

user06 glad you're surrounding yourself with people who make you happy and bring out this lovely light 🤎

yourfriend2 when the plans finally make it out the group chat🙌🏾🎉

youruser love that for us🤧 but i swear getting stuck in that elevator made me reconsider all my decisions leading up to that moment

yourfriend2 the 1st hour wasn't that bad tho

yourfriend3 we will never be free🙁

youruser please shut up😭😭

yourfriend3 no bc you didn't listen when dr umar said "SNOW BUNNIES NEVA🙅🏾‍♀️❌"

youruser i do not see it🧘🏾‍♀️

𖦹 𓂃 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁⠀⠀𓂃 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁⠀⠀𓂃 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁⠀⠀𓂃 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 𓂃 𖦹

⤷ end note ‧ ★ : halfway through making this i went "hmm, this should be a lando smau" but then i continued doing this. it posted like 5 times which freaked me out and was supposed to be done ages ago but yeah. also french is from deepl. enjoy.

#lunavrse writes(?)⋆#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc social media au #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #instagram au #smau #social media au

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onecentwriter · 1 year ago

Text

dialogue prompts that give off ~chaotic vibes~

!!please credit me if you use any!!

"you idiot. now we're gonna die."

"american cheese. shitty yet addicting. kind of like my exes."

"everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still."

"careful. those aren't designed for idiots."

"tssk, tssk. what would jeff goldblum think of this?"

"if you're trying to manipulate me, it's not working."

"i'm about to say 'shut up' and if you respond with a ridiculously flirtatious 'make me' i will slap you."

"i congratulate you. to convince them is no small feat." *pause* "though you do have small feet."

"don't worry. it's not lethal. i think."

"hey, did you fall from heaven when you hurt--fuck."

"no, but i can speak greek. είσαι σκατά." [you are shit.]

"can i? of course. will i? nah bro."

"we're gonna die and your tombstone will be engraved with 'death by dumbassery.'"

"i had a cat once. his name was stewart. i trained him in the fine art of jiu jitsu."

"what do you mean most people don't carry multiple knifes on them at once?? what if there's an attack?? or an urgent need to cut lettuce??"

"i swear to god if you post this on twitter i will steal your kidney."

"ok. fine. maybe i am a dumbass. but you gotta admit i'm a hot dumbass."

"ah, canada." (that's it. that's the prompt)

"is. is that a grenade."

"abso-fucking-lutely not."

"you know, this reminds me of the time i met the president."

"sometimes, your stupid astounds me."

"yeahhhh no. we're not doing that."

"is there actually anything in your skull or is it just dust and dumbass?"

"gordon ramsay is such a mood."

"this would be romantic if you weren't you and i wasn't me."

"most people just send a text, you know."

"goddammit. how many fucking beans did you spill."

"the world could be ending and you'd still find time to livetweet the imminent destruction of reality."

"you look like shit."

"i can kill a man with my bare hands but i can't unscrew this goddamn jar--"

extra challenges:

use all 31 in one work.

write one prompt every day for a month.

use a random number generator and write 500 (or any set number of) words, and only that amount of words.

to add some spice to #3, set a timer!

if you like these prompts, check out my prompt blog!!

#prompt list #dialogue prompts #prompts #random prompts #writing prompts #writers #writing #dialogue prompt #writing dialogue #prompts list #challenges #writing challenge

826 notes · View notes

sufferu · 4 months ago

Text

Okay, so. This is actually a rather big spoiler for No Refunds, so imma need all of you to hush up about this one when it comes to the current main fic ;)

Anyway — here’s the first draft of a very essential upcoming scene, for all those who wish to see it.

No Refunds Ficlet: March Away From Omelas

____

The five Royal Selection Camps met inside City Hall. Crusch Karsten, flanked by Ferris Argyle and Wilhelm van Astrea. Felt, attended by Rachins, Gaston, Camberley, and the Sword Saint himself. Anastasia Hoshin, with her personal knight and the Captain and Vice Captains of the Iron Fang. Priscilla Barielle, who had elected to witness the ensuing spectacle alone. And of course — Lady Emilia herself, with Beatrice, Otto, Garfiel, and the Oni twins all standing by her side. With a singular exception, nobody else was allowed within the building: they were alone.

That singular exception stood in the middle of the room, of whom a decision now had to be made.

“…I didn’t do anything wrong,” Natsuki Subaru said uncertainly. Why were they all looking at him like that? He wanted to take a step back, but managed to resist the urge just barely. “Priestella is saved now, isn’t it? And— we’ve taken care of five Archbishops of Sin.”

He was objectively correct, about both of those things. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, the Battle of Priestella had ended with zero casualties thanks to his contributions. There had been structural damage to the buildings of the city, sure, and there had been injuries here and there — bruises, gashes, broken bones — but nothing that had been lethal, and likely nothing that was going to be permanent. And of the five Sin Archbishops that had attempted to siege the city — one was dead, and the other four had been successfully captured, awaiting transport to the capital of Lugunica. Nothing like this had ever been accomplished in recorded history. In every sense of the word, Subaru had pulled off a miracle.

But in order to do it, he had—

“How many times?” Julius croaked. Subaru glanced his way, and froze at the look of devastation on his face. “Subaru — how many times was it?”

“I—” Subaru broke off. There was a long, long silence as everyone waited for him to answer. “…Does it matter?” he finally retorted. “I think the results speak for themselves, don’t they? Everyone’s safe, and everyone’s happy! Isn’t that the only thing that really matters, in the end?”

Otto made an indecipherable noise. Nobody looked at him.

“You didn’t answer us,” Wilhelm growled. The raw anger in his voice made Subaru stiffen. “How many times was it?”

When Subaru didn’t answer, everyone knew it was because he didn’t know.

“What a boorish question,” Priscilla scoffed. She was the only one there who looked relaxed, fanning her face gently as she peered at the lot of them from the side of the room. “Subaru saw that there was danger and rose to the challenge. If he bled for it in the meanwhile, what does it matter?”

“‘What does it matter?’” Felt repeated, her quiet voice already glittering with the warning sparks of her growing rage. “Big Bro just — killed himself, again and again, for OUR sakes, and — and ‘What does it matter?’”

“For Subaru, the ultimate sacrifice is a thing that he can make as many times as he wishes, as a means to an end,” Priscilla answered. “He can accomplish great things with his ability. He HAS accomplished great things, even. If I were his liege, I would be rewarding him for his accomplishments, not stifling his potential.”

“‘Stifling his potential’?” Felt repeated, disbelief coloring her voice red. “You’d call him — him DYING, again and again — you’d call it POTENTIAL?”

“Has he not allowed you to witness a miracle, peasant?” Priscilla returned. “Through his efforts, he has brought about a solution that would otherwise never have come to fruition. This is a thing to celebrate, is it not?”

“It is absolutely not!” Mimi cried out. “Mimi didn’t want this! Mimi didn’t want to survive because — because someone did THIS for her sake!”

Felt took a deep breath, clearly trying to maintain her composure. “…Subaru,” she said, directing her words towards the focus of the conversation. “Do you really think that winning the fight today was worth — this?”

Subaru stared back at her like she had grown a second head. “Of COURSE it was,” he scoffed, as if it were the obvious answer. “I’m just one person, and — not even a particularly valuable one at that.” From the corner of the room, Otto stared at him with growing despair. He didn’t even notice. “Sure, it — it sucked a lot, but I did it, and now everyone’s fine! So of course it was worth it.”

Felt swallowed, trying her hardest not to scream. She folded her hands in front of her — a practiced motion, one Reinhard had instilled into her through hours and hours of those stupid etiquette lessons. “And…” she faltered. “And you would do it again, if you felt that it was necessary.”

Subaru visibly flinched at the suggestion, but quickly moved to answer her. “O-Of course I would!” he insisted, his eyes darting around. Nearby, Crusch and Reinhard both stared at something that nobody else could see. “I—I AM still a knight, you know. It’s a knight’s JOB to put others before themselves. And…” He swallowed. “I know I’m not good at it, but if I try hard enough — well. My…circumstances…I mean — I’m in the perfect position to put others before me, right?”

“Because you never have to stop doing it,” Julius realized. “Because even if you die — you don’t have to stop.”

Subaru didn’t realize the surge of devastated nausea that such a realization had inspired in the gut of the Finest of Knights. “Exactly!” he crowed. “That’s exactly right! You see?”

Someone made a horrible strangled sound. Nobody knew who it was, and everyone was too focused on the matter at hand to find out, anyway.

“And if we’re not okay with it?” Felt pressed, trying to ignore the hole that was widening in her gut. “If we don’t want any part of — of an exchange like that?”

“…That’s ridiculous,” Subaru scoffed. “Why would anyone not — want to live? That’s stupid.”

“Why indeed,” Ricardo muttered.

“Maybe it’s not that — that someone doesn’t want to live,” Crusch said, her voice tense. “Maybe it’s that someone doesn’t want their life to be saved through…” She shook her head. “Maybe they consider — other things, to be more important.”

“Like what?” Subaru retorted.

“Honor, maybe,” Crusch said. “Ethics. Dignity. Integrity. Any of the things of which a loss would turn a person into a dog. …You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Valuing the alleviation of momentary suffering over a perfect ending is the way of dogs,” Priscilla replied, her eyes glinting. “If momentary suffering is necessary for a perfect ending, then to undergo it for the sake of fulfilling his duty — that is the sign of a wonderful knight.”

“There are limits,” Felt forced out through gritted teeth. “To what level of ‘momentary suffering’ is acceptable. Not that I’d expect YOU to understand that.”

“Lady Felt—”

“Don’t!” Felt snapped. Reinhard stopped. “Just— don’t. Not now.”

“I’d say it’s a perfectly acceptable level of suffering!” Subaru retorted, raising his voice. “I’m the only one who has to go through it, so I’m the one who gets to decide what’s acceptable, right? That’s how it works!”

“No the FUCK it’s not!” Rachins bellowed, taking a step forward. Reinhard quickly grabbed his wrist, preventing him from marching over to punch Subaru in the face. Rachins didn’t even glance back at him, fixated solely on the object of his rage. “You don’t get it make a choice like THAT when you— when you’re planning something THAT HORRIBLE!” he spat. “Who the fuck would be alright with this?! Just one ultimate sacrifice is hard enough to stomach, but — you can’t even tell us how many times it was! How am I supposed to go forward when I know you— YOU—”

“You might have DIED if I didn’t do anything!” Subaru protested. “If it was you or me— even if I had to choose all of you hundreds of times over, then—”

“How was it your place to make that decision for us?!” Anastasia burst out, uncharacteristically emotional. She hadn’t looked this way even back at the inn. “I didn’t want this!” she cried. “I didn’t consent to this! I never wanted to be complicit in something this awful, and here YOU went and made the choice to — to repeatedly sacrifice yourself for all of us regardless! I didn’t WANT you to do this for me!”

“We weren’t able to do anything,” Ferris managed, white as a sheet. He was gripping his head. “We weren’t able to stop nyew at all. And nyew didn’t stop nyerself, either: the first thing nyew decided to do when the Witch Cult attacked was…” Ferris fixed his gaze on Subaru, glassy with panic and devastation. “So long as nyer a knight, and protecting the country is nyer job— we won’t be able to stop nyew at— at all—”

“Oh like that’s any different than what Reinhard is doing,” Subaru retorted. “What, so him being unstoppable in his role as a Sword Saint is fine, but me using my own ability to act as a knight is crossing a line? How is THAT fair?”

Reinhard flinched violently, taking a step backwards.

“How DARE you make a comparison like that?!” Felt spat, finally snapping and raising her voice to a roar. “HOW DARE YOU?! You wanna know what the difference is, Subaru?! Reinhard being the Sword Saint doesn’t mean we’re all dooming him to fucking KILL HIMSELF for our sakes!”

“I can’t believe you would even SUGGEST such a thing,” Julius snarled, uncharacteristically vicious. “The role of the Sword Saint is a heavy one, yes, but it isn’t in any way the same thing as someone sentencing himself to execution after execution for the rest of —” Could Subaru die a natural death? He didn’t even want to THINK about the concept of an eternity trapped in a fate like this. “— of his natural life! You absolute— how could you even consider—?!”

Reinhard was not allowed to wish for his role as the Sword Saint to be taken away from him. Wishing for for such a thing was as good as poisoning his mind against the kingdom itself. In any case, nobody could ever strip him of his title even if they wanted to: nobody was more suited to the role of the Sword of the Kingdom than Reinhard van Astrea.

But now, he realized with a bolt of absolute clarity— now he was on the outside, looking in. Subaru wasn’t wrong about his curse positioning him in a manner that made him uniquely suited for the role of a knight. But if they allowed him to take that position up once again—

Reinhard thought of himself, and how he was never going to escape his title. He thought of Subaru, who was inches away from thrusting himself into the same position. He thought of an old story about his grandmother and grandfather, and how — just once — a Sword Saint had been set free.

“Subaru—” He tried to say, stepping forward, but Wilhelm held out his arm before anyone else could see what he was doing. Reinhard glanced his way, and saw ice blue eyes glimmering with the conviction of tempered steel.

—Reinhard understood. He stepped back to where he had been a second before.

…He likely wouldn’t have been allowed to be the one to do so anyway. Reinhard van Astrea could not act against the good of the kingdom, no matter who got hurt in the process.

Julius was still speaking. “How do you not understand?!” he shouted, his eyes blazing. “You seem to be thinking of this as— as some sort of— you just don’t get it, do you?! Do you have any idea how—” Horrified. Disgusted. Devastated. Mortified. “—how ANGRY we are with you right now?”

“I mean, I’d probably do it anyway!” Subaru pointed out, folding his arms stubbornly. “Whether I have the title or not, I’m always gonna want to help the people around me, right? You can’t stop me from doing THAT.”

The temperature of the room dropped significantly. Subaru’s eyes widened, his arms springing up to wrap around his chest at the sudden chill. A couple of pairs of eyes flickered to Emilia, who sat motionless in her seat.

“…For nyer own sake,” Ferris hissed, one of those in the room that was utterly unaffected by this cold air. He looked very much like he wanted to murder Subaru on the spot. “I am going to assume that was nyer misguided attempt at cracking a JOKE. But on the off-chance that nyew were being serious, I can assure nyew: we have ways of keeping people alive against their will if nyeed be.” He grinned, his face so sour it looked like it might curdle milk. “Nyew’ve seen me deal with suicidal Witch Cult prisonyers, Subaru-kyun. Do nyew think I’m above treating nyew the way I treated them?”

Subaru took a step back.

“Ignoring the absolutely disgusting moral implications of what you just suggested you planned on doing to yourself for the rest of your life,” Julius said coldly, eyes fixed on Subaru’s face. “You do realize that you just threatened ALL OF US, by saying that you would use time travel to bend reality to your heart’s content regardless of how we feel about it — do you not?” Subaru flinched. “I assumed you were better than that.” Julius rolled his shoulder. “But Ferris is right: if you are NOT better than that, then we can find a way to make sure we don’t have to worry about you deciding to reverse time behind everyone’s backs.”

“The lot of you are being ridiculous,” Priscilla scoffed. “Your wonderful knight saved an entire city almost single-handedly, and you wish to remove him from his post? Sacrifice is a part of life. If you can’t stomach the sacrifice necessary to feed the fire of life, then you are unfit to stand in the light of mine gaze.”

“There’s a fucking limit to the kind of sacrifices a reasonable person should accept!” Felt shot back. “Not like you’d understand a thing about being reasonable, you— you MONSTER. How can you talk about someone ripping himself apart so flippantly?!”

“If ripping oneself apart is what a person wishes to do, then I shall not stand in their way.” She smiled. “Just as there is beauty in war, there is beauty in sacrifice — or in this case, the dance of eternal sacrifice, in service of the greater good.” The Sun Princess frowned down at Felt, who was staring at her with a look of horrified disbelief. “It is not Subaru’s fault if a peasant like you cannot handle how he chooses to live and die,” she said coldly. “If he has made his choice, then he has made it so.”

“That’s vile…” Felt choked out. “Even for you, that is VILE.”

“Personal autonomy has limits,” Crusch said coldly. “If a man’s personal autonomy involves harming others, then he must be stopped. Likewise, if it involves him ripping himself apart, then we have a moral duty to stand in his way. — Especially if he has the gall to declare that it is for OUR sakes.”

“As a knight of Lugunica, I understand the nobility of sacrifice,” Julius said. He did not flinch as Priscilla turned to watch him, nor did he look her in the eye. “But as a knight, I understand the weight of it, as well. Giving up one’s life for a cause is one of the heaviest sacrifices one can make — and it is exactly because of that, that I cannot stand for someone who plans to make that sacrifice so many times in repetition.” He turned to face Subaru, alone in the center of the room, and took a deep breath. “In saving Priestella from the Witch Cult, Natsuki Subaru has fulfilled his duty as a knight once and for all,” Julius declared. “He has made the ultimate sacrifice, and he has done so — many, many times over. Allowing him to continue to do so for the sake of this country would damage the worth of the entire nation, and I refuse to stand for it. That’s all I have to say.”

“I stand by my knight,” Anastasia announced, stepping forward. “We are not animals, and I refuse to live as an animal by depending on someone to harm themselves for me in perpetuity — and I refuse to allow my country to do such a thing, either. And I am no longer willing to wait two years for a decision to be made: Natsuki Subaru will be removed from his role today, or the Anastasia Camp will consider him and all of his allies its enemy.”

“The Iron Fang stands with its employer,” Ricardo added, his voice like steel. “But even without its relationship with the Anastasia Camp, I would never stand for something this disgusting, nor would any organization that I lead. And—” He shook his head, looking very much like he wanted to strangle someone. “And I’d HOPE that if — those who I care about — were thrown into a situation — like THIS — that the people they meet would have the basic decency to refuse the same.”

“Mimi hates this,” the eldest of the Pearlbaton triplets forced out, uncharacteristically enraged. She was scratching at the top of her head, yanking at her orange hair. “Mimi hates everything about this. How dare— how DARE you—”

“We want nothing to do with an arrangement like this,” Hetaro confirmed. “I don’t want to be saved by someone doing — this. It’s sick. I’d rather just die.”

“I don’t want to die,” Tivey muttered. “But if I were to live a life dependent on something like — THIS, I’d be no better than vermin. And I don’t want anyone forcing me into that role, either. We stand with our Lady.”

“The three of us might be vermin,” Rachins growled. “But even WE are above depending on an eternal living corpse for our lives and livelihoods. You can fuck right off with that, Subaru.”

“I wouldn’t call us vermin—” Camberley objected.

“All the more reason, then,” Gaston said firmly. “None of us are gonna accept something this — gross. Ever.”

“I agree with those idiots,” Felt snarled, stepping forward defiantly. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about ‘the greater good’: this is vile, and I would be utter scum if I rolled over and let things continue like this. Thank you for your service, Big Bro: now fuck ALL THE WAY off with this Unsung Hero bullshit.”

“My role as the Sword Saint is a duty granted to me by Od Laguna,” Reinhard managed, both outraged and devastated beyond words by the comparison. “It is a burden that I would not wish upon anyone, but the sole grace of my role is that I have been granted it specifically because my capabilities allow me to fulfill it without — undue sacrifice. For you to try and take something like it upon yourself through the use of a curse this vile…” He shook his head. “I will stand with whatever Lady Felt decides,” the Sword Saint said. “As she is against — everything about this — so am I.”

“Disgusting,” Ferris hissed, bristling. There were tears in his eyes. He shook his head, muttering the same word over and over again. “Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting — Nyatsuki Subaru, I hate nyew so, so much—!”

“To keep Natsuki Subaru as a knight after this would be considered the height of indecency,” Crusch declared. “That is where I stand, as do my Camp and my Estate. Lady Emilia, I must insist that you remove him from his position NOW, or I will render our alliance null and void. That is my ultimatum.”

“This— This really feels like an overreaction!” Subaru stammered, backing away from the sea of anger and devastation. “Didn’t everything work out alright, in the end? Wasn’t it worth it? One life in exchange for all of Priestella—”

“It wasn’t just one life, Subaru,” Ricardo spat. “It was one person, over and over again, who decided all on his own that we were the kinds of ANIMALS that would be absolutely fine resting our lives on — on a fucking monstrosity like that!“

“We didn’t even get a CHOICE in the matter,” Ferris cried. “Nyone of us did. “Nyew just went ahead and decided for nyerself that we’d all prefer this — this utter BULLSHIT.“

“Do you not get what an embarrassment this is?” Julius snapped. “For someone to have stepped in and decided on their own that they’re going to take all the suffering of — of the Royal Selection Camps, of the White Scales of Priestella, of EVERYONE who might have otherwise decided to fight back on their own accord — for them to have stolen that choice away and forced everyone else to accept not just one singular sacrifice, but a string of sacrifices so long that you haven’t even been able to tell us how many deaths make it up! It’s a humiliation of the highest order, because you just forced ALL OF US to be complacent in one of the most monstrous, inhuman scenarios I can imagine.“

“Fuck nyew,” Ferris breathed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. “Fuck nyew, Subaru. Fuck nyew, fuck nyew, fuck nyew—”

“I really don’t think—!”

“How would you have felt,” Felt interrupted. “If Big Sis had done all of this on your behalf?” Subaru froze. She grinned at him, all teeth and no joy behind her smile. “You’d fucking hate it, right?” she asked cheerfully. “You’d scream, and you’d probably cry. You might even throw up, you’d feel so awful. And if she turned to you and said ‘But I gave you a miracle, aren’t you proud of me?’ I’ll bet you’d want to scream at her for it, too.” She leaned forward. “How DARE you do that to us.” Felt hissed. “How fucking dare you.”

“And to think!” Anastasia laughed. It was a venomous, bitter sound that made Subaru want to recoil. “To think, I actually was starting to believe the others’ insistence that you could be trusted to man your post responsibly!” She stared at him, eyes hard. “I was right about this whole situation from the start. Keeping you as a knight was a ridiculous notion, because — THIS — was always going to be the outcome, one way or another.”

Subaru was speechless. Slowly, with jerky movements, he twisted around to the one camp that had yet to make its final assertion.

“G-Guys…?” he managed.

“Cap—” Garfiel hesitated, and then shook his head. Subaru visibly wilted. “Natsuki Subaru can’t be a knight anymore,” he declared. “This is horrible. I didn’t want this. I never wanted anything like this. If I let him do this for — for MY sake, how could I ever look myself in the mirror again? …And I don’t think he’s ever gonna stop unless we force him away from the edge.”

“This is the absolute worst thing you could have done to me, Subaru,” Ram snapped. “I don’t know how you don’t understand that. I don’t WANT to persist via your acts of self-harm: I’m perfectly happy to live to the best of my ability and accept my death when my time has come to an end. A life of dignity is one that I desire most of all. —And here you are, planning to force me to rely on your trail of self-destruction for the rest of my natural life? That’s a vulgarity beyond words.”

“I really thought you had learned,” Otto muttered. His face was buried in his hands. “I really, really thought you had learned, Subaru.”

Despair slowly dawned across the face of the self-proclaimed knight.

“The old me might have allowed for this,” Rem admitted. Her voice was quiet and broken. “I am not that woman anymore. I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

“Betty doesn’t want her contractor to become a living corpse, I suppose,” Beatrice said quietly. “Betty wants you to be happy, but that also means that she doesn’t want you to destroy yourself. You can hate me for this if you want, Subaru. But I can’t let you — I can’t let you do this.”

Subaru stared at all of them, his upper lip wobbling, and then his eyes flitted to the last person in the room, the one who had not said a single thing since they had entered the building.

Emilia could not bring herself to voice the words, but her silence spoke a thousand in its stead. Subaru made a horrible croaking noise, wide-eyed and devastated.

Wilhelm had to force himself to speak, but when he did, his voice came out loud and clear and true.

“Natsuki Subaru.”

Subaru could no longer be a knight. For him to continue being a knight would be for him to continue to sacrifice himself for the sakes of those around him, over and over again, without regard for whether they wanted him to do so or not. For him to remain a knight would be for the kingdom to approve this cycle of endless self-destruction, so that it could profit off of his pain until the day it finally sucked him dry. —And this could no longer be a decision that waited a year, a month, a day, but rather a move that had to be made as quickly and decisively as possible.

Lady Emilia had already realized what Wilhelm was about to do. Her eyes were glassy and dull, but she bowed her head in assent when he briefly caught her gaze. Do what you must.

For his own good, Subaru could no longer be a knight. However, Emilia firing him after just a year of service would leave a black mark on his record that could last until the end of his life. And with him having saved the Watergate City nearly single-handedly, for him to willingly abandon his duty now would paint him as a fickle, untrustworthy coward for the rest of his life. Titles brought with them expectations and responsibilities, and great deeds even more so. Subaru had somehow entangled him in a web of both that threatened to trap him as the nation’s self-replenishing sacrifice for — in a worst-case scenario, perhaps for the rest of eternity.

“W-Wilhelm?” Subaru whimpered, his voice high-pitched and uncertain.

But there was a way to retire him that would not impact his reputation, or hamper him from pursuing any other future career path he may choose, or even leave him with the majority of the blame. It was the same way that, many years ago, a young man on a mission had set free the woman who would become his wife.

Subaru would hate him for this until the old man’s dying day, and perhaps even beyond that. But Wilhelm loved him, and that meant he valued the quality of the boy’s life more than he ever could his personal reputation in his eyes.

Priscilla realized what the Sword Demon was about to do moments before he opened his mouth again. She sighed, snapping her ruby red fan shut. The sound echoed through the room like a thunderclap.

“Natsuki Subaru,” Wilhelm Van Astrea declared. “Due to finding you unworthy to serve our nation as a knight of the Kingdom, I challenge you to a duel.”

Wilhelm had challenged Subaru to a duel over his position as a knight of the Kingdom. Subaru’s liege, Lady Emilia, had consented to such terms. If Subaru were to win, he would be allowed to remain where he was. If Wilhelm were to win, then Subaru would be forced to retire from his post — and in the eyes of the public, all the blame for his removal would rest squarely on Wilhelm’s shoulders.

Subaru, Wilhelm, and everyone witnessing the event knew what the outcome was going to be.

“What are you doing?!” an old lady cried from the stands. “What are you DOING?! He saved us — he saved all of our lives! Stop, STOP—!!”

“Natsuki Subaru-dono is a hero!” shouted a young man, hands clenching the rails. “Why are you doing this?! What did he do wrong?! He didn��t do ANYTHING, just LET HIM—!!”

“Wilhelm—” Subaru tried to plead, one last time.

Wilhelm met his gaze with one fierce enough to burn. “This is for your own good.”

Subaru swallowed, and raised his whip.

It only took three hits. The first smacked the handle of Subaru’s weapon with the flat of the blade, knocking it out of his hands and into the air, where it spiraled in an arc. The second whacked Subaru on the top of his head, stunning him hard enough to make him lose his balance. The third took advantage of this wrong-footedness by slamming into his chest, knocking him down on his back. Then the weight of the man’s knee settled against his chest, pinning him to the ground, with the edge of the blade grazing against his throat. And that was that.

“The winner,” Ferris announced, his voice muffled in Subaru’s ears. “Is Wilhelm van Astrea.”

It had not even lasted a full ten seconds. Those who watched would later describe it as Wilhelm scruffing him, much like one would a misbehaving puppy. Even the way he had pinned him to the ground had been careful, less like an actual fight and more like a sparring session between parent and child.

It was a duel far gentler and kinder than his previous with Julius. But the results were far graver in his eyes, for he had been successfully stripped of his title as a knight and reduced to simply being Natsuki Subaru.

#perhaps I’ll change a bit of it #perhaps I won’t #we’ll see what happens #now that’s what I call a dogshow #my ficlets

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imnameimswrld · 1 year ago

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╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 || 𝗝𝗝 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . jungkook x popstar!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : bullied for being "immature" , y/n goes dark for a whole year, before returning with a new sound, and a whole different aesthetic, and the world is shocked to find just who's been by her side through it all ; ❫

━━ ❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━ ❪ warnings: none ❫

━━ ❪ fc: dove cameron ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

before...

ynusername

liked by zendaya, thv, and 2 334 224 others

ynusername sunday vibes 🌻

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user pretty !

user jesus, you're not in Disney Channel anore girl, grow tf up.

user ...you know you're not 16 anymore right ? 🤭

user this girl NEEDS to start acting her age or istg

⤿ user wdym ???

⤿ user first of all she's been blonde since her liv and maddies, and she's been all prissy princess when we all KNOW she ain't nothing like that. she needs to grow up, like, yesterday already.

⤿ user there's nothing wrong with her still being blonde tf, YOU should grow up.

user so no one is gonna talk about kim taehyung in the likes ? no ? okay...

one yeah later...

ynusername added to their story !

ynusername

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ynusername hi loves, I'm back – alchemical out this Friday 🤍.

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user holy shit – MOMMY !?

user THE QUEEN HAVETH RETURNED

uarmyhope 🔥🔥🔥

user JHOPE !? HELLO !?!

user okay can we PLEASE talk about how all of bts are in the likes ?? collab 👀

user yn in her reputation era we love to see it.

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ynupdates

liked by user, user335, and 656 others

ynupdates BREAKING NEWS GUYS !! Y/N was spotted out yesterday in Miami with... JEON JUNGKOOK FROM BTS !?!?!? I'm no kpop fan but what I do is, he is fine as hell, and look at our girl's smile !!!! I love seeing her happy.

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user HELLOOO !? my worlds colliding fr daamn

user JUNGKOOK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

user y/n looks so happy omg 😭

user HAND PLACEMENT !?

user I am so here for this – if I see any toxic army coming for her istg

abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz

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abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz a lethal woman, but the best lover 🖤

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user JEON. JUNG. KOOK !?

user bro hasn't posted since 2022 😭

thv alchemical>>>>golden.

⤿ ynusername tae 😭

⤿ abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz wow...

user V PLS- 😭😭

user slide 3 DAMN 🥲

user a power couple fr.

ynusername

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ynusername eternally greatful for your continuous love and support through the years baby 💋

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user YEARS !?

user y/n was at the ptd show in vegas !? holy shit they've been together for way longer than i expected.

uramyhope ynkook !!!

[ liked by ynusername ]

user they're actually so perfect for each other

user WAIT- y/n gets it seven days a week !?

⤿ user LMFAO 😭😭😭😭😭

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#kpop #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts #kpop smau #bts smau

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thekirammanjinx · 27 days ago

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This person is an idiot(don't argue with idiots) but let's examine their "points".

Imagine, just for a minute, saying that she doesn't need to be held accountable as much as caitlyn? Jinx age by the end of s1 is also kind of ambiguous, but that's not the point.

Jinx literally, of her own free will and choice, uses lethal bombs on several enforcers, bombed the council, and killed several firelights amongst other crimes. Now tell me why she should not be held accountable for all these actions? Tell me? Jinx literally commits acts of terrorism. Attacks piltovers highest capital building, a sign of war.

And if we are speaking on juveniles and the legal system, they are tried as adults all the time, because you need to look at the atrocities of their crimes. Be so fucking for real. That "argument" is not a flex. Juveniles don't exist to get away with multiple counts of murder and terrorism. But okay.

We need to take into account their actions and the circumstances of them. Caitlyn gassing a group of individuals who are oppressing and doing harm onto their own people? No one is excusing the use of gassing but yall twist the narrative and ignore key points so much.

Chembarons, a group of people who do not care who pays the price of shimmer. The way shimmer has been forced upon zaun and created turf wars and deaths and so much harm. Like do people not understand shimmer, the chembarons and the firelights? Or the usual; pureposefully obtuse about it??

"Power imbalance" bro please stfu. Jinx and Ekko do have a power imbalance in s1, just because they are of the same class doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Ekko and the firelights have been stuck and forced to operate behind closed doors because of silco and jinx.

Silco and jinx are top of the food chain, they take advantage of zaun, they make sure zaunites stay underneath their ruling. They use enforcers to continue this, to give zaunites an enemy to take the spotlight off themselves.

Timebomb was basically nonexistent. Not just under developed.

Jinx does not reconcile the pain she caused zaun and ekko. "They reached a common ground" because ekko was made to just brush that shit off and they had a war to fight. Like what?

Caitlyn being of a higher class, yes it gives her more opportunities, but she doesn't use this against vi. She doesn't use it to lord herself over vi. Mentally and emotionally they're on the same level.

Imagine saying someone can't ever get with someone in a higher tax bracket than themselves? Like that argument is so weak because it never accounts for their actual dynamic with each other. You sound classist when you make that point.

Vi is never totally dependent on caitlyn and the show never makes that assumption. You do because you view vi as someone incapable of taking care of herself. At the end of act 1, we see they go their separate ways, vi didn't have anywhere to go then, but she FINDS and MAKES her own way.

Vi and Caitlyn hold each other accountable. The most important thing in a relationship is the mental level that both people are on.

#fandom critical #caitvi #caitlyn kiramman #anti timebomb #<-ig better safe or whatever

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sleepyconfusedpotato · 2 years ago

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Headcanon : Ghost has always understood Spanish.

Based on a convo I had recently with @simonriley1994

In the Las Almas arrival cutscene, Alejandro asked Ghost and Soap "You know Spanish?", to which only Soap answered that he did not. Meanwhile, Ghost just stayed silent. That got me thinking.

According to his biography, Ghost has spent years and years in the stealth business and covert assignments, even earning his callsign for his efficiency and lethality right? Plus, the bio said that he "seeks solitude" and "thrives" in ops with little to no support. Bro likes being alone.

That makes me wonder, if he does stuff alone around the world, it would be stupid of him to not learn another language or two beside English. My theory is, he actually understands Spanish and probably Russian and other languages. However, if you're learning a language, it usually starts with understanding what people speaks before you can actually speak them.

Ghost is at that stage for all the foreign languages he knows, and when he speaks Spanish, it's the BRITISHEST Spanish ever.

Now here's the funny part: When Ghost and Soap entered the car, Rudy said to Alejandro, "Tengo miedo de los fantasmas" ("I'm scared of ghosts"). What if Ghost understands what he said???

And when Rudy decided to push his luck by saying "With that mask, you'll fit in well here Ghost.", Ghost looked at him UNIMPRESSED. But what if he was half that, but also half messing with Rudy? Like he knows Rudy's kinda scared of him, and then he decided to mess around with Rudy all the while telling him not to 'fuck-around-and-find-out' with him.

Like he's aware that Rudy's scared of him, but when he saw that Rudy still had the balls of steel to joke around with him, I'd like to think that Ghost's is half "...bitch..." but also half amused.

#sleepy's thoughts #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw #cod #simon ghost riley #cod mw22 #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #cod hc #call of duty headcanon #ghost headcanon #ghost hc #rodolfo parra

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craziechwiv · 9 months ago

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Who's scarier, Ren or Nora?

Yang: It's gotta be Nora Rubes.

Ruby: Nuh, uh! It's Ren, silent but deadly trope?

Yang: That's a biased opinion and you know it!

Ruby: Just because we have one of those on our team doesn't mean it's biased! It's common knowledge!

Yang: Oh my- wait is that Jaune? Let's go ask him.

Ruby: Yea, then you'll see how wrong you are!

Yang: Keep dreaming lil sis.

Jaune is walking until he is suddenly pushed against a wall and pinned, he was gonna shake his aggressors off him till he realizes who they were.

Jaune: Uhm...whatever I did was probably a dare!

Ruby: Not what we're here for Jaune, we need to settle something and you're our prime source for the answer!

Jaune, looking at Yang: That would be...?

Yang: Who's more scarier, Ren or Nora?

Jaune: Oh, well let me go first.

Yang and Ruby let go of Jaune as he stretches out his limbs before leaning back on the wall.

Jaune: Okay, to answer this I need something more than who's scarier. Give me a scenario.

Yang: When we're on missions! Have you seen Nora mess up those Grimms last time? I'm pretty sure some we're running away from her actually.

Ruby: So? Ren is also quite lethal too! One minute he's firing precise shots at them and the next he's cutting them up like sushi!

Jaune: Well, I have to side with Yang here. Nora is more gruesome than Ren there.

Yang: HA!

Ruby: Aw...

Jaune: However...Ren is still more scary in general.

Yang: What?! How?

Ruby: :O

Jaune: Only for one incident...

Yang: And what might that be?

Ruby: Yeah tell us!

Jaune: Well...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nora is skipping along the hallways of beacon before being stopped by someone

Random student: Hey you're Nora, right? Fancy work you did with that weapon of yours!

Nora: Oh, thanks! You're too kind.

R.S.: Say, how's about we hang out from time to time? I'd like to spar with you.

Nora: Oh no thanks, I already have a sparring partner and I'm on the track to meet him actually-

The random student then grabs Nora's hand by surprise.

R.S.: Well, how about we go to my dorm then~?

Nora: Wait- what?! I don't really, uh...

R.S.: Aw cmon, we'll have lots of- *thunk, thunk*

The random student feels something metallic behind his head and freezes in place, not wanting to turn around and see what it may be.

Ren: She said, she doesn't want to.

Nora: Renny?

R.S.: Easy bro...it was just a suggestion.

Ren: Then me disposing of your life is an answer.

R.S.: You- You won't get away with this!

Ren: I can if you can't recognize me.

R.S.: Why you...

The random student tries to take a swing at Ren, only swinging at air before he feels a sharp object on the back of his neck, barely pricking its way through his skin layer.

Ren: When I count to ten, you'll run. 1...

The random student was already running down the hallways, not looking back at all. Ren then turns towards Nora.

Ren: Uhm...sorry about that?

Nora, who's flustered and looking at Ren in a whole new light: D-Don't worry about it Renny...how about we skip training actually?

Ren: Are you sure?

Nora: I'd let pancakes burn in a fire right now just to be in a bed with you right now!

Ren: O-Oh....okay, lead the- WOAH!

Ren is picked up by the muscle shortie and carried all the way to their dorm room, leaving a bewildered Jaune Arc who was watching the whole scenario from the corner.

Jaune...what the fu-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang:

Ruby:

Jaune: So yeah. Ren is way scarier...when it comes to Nora. Which is a lot.

Yang: That was...not what I was expecting...

Ruby: That is...super hot~.

Yang: RUBY! That is the last time you read one of Blake's book.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #lie ren #nora valkyrie #renora #jealous lie ren #protective lie ren

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musette22 · 30 days ago

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Today's random thought: in another life, in another universe, somewhere, anywhere, Anthony Mackie is introducing two single idiots to each other at the party he's hosting. To do it, he has to pull Chris away from the beer pong table, and he has to detach Sebastian from his hip as his adopted introvert.

Oh my god S, I have not been able to stop thinking about this since you dropped this in my inbox!!! WHAT a thought 😩 Also, what a description lmao, that's perfect 😂

No but seriously, I can't stop thinking about Mackie going "Yo, Evans! Come here a sec, there's someone I'd like you to meet."

And Chris turning around with a flourish while turning his baseball cap backwards and going "'Sup?" -- and then stopping dead in his tracks when he lays eyes on the most beautiful man he's ever seen in his life.

I'm imagining a prolonged moment of mutual stunned staring between these two goobers, until Mackie intervenes and is like, "Soooo.... This is awkward. Anyway, Chris, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, Chris."

And then the goobers shake hands and fireworks go off and hearts start circling their pretty heads like butterflies, and Sebastian bewilderedly thinks to himself "But this guy is a frat bro, I don't even like frat bros?!" but he also trusts Mackie and knows he wouldn't try and set him up with someone he had nothing in common with, so maybe looks (lethal looks, goddamn) are deceiving in this case.

Meanwhile Chris is having a silent meltdown over being confronted with an actual angel out of fucking nowhwere?? He was just having fun playing some beer pong with his bros and now he's mentally composing sonnets about this guy's - Sebastian's - beauty and thinking how cute it is that he seems a little shy despite being absolutely gorgeous, and wondering what they'll name their kids... Like, seriously Mackie, some warning would've been nice??

Aaaahhh I love, love, LOVE all the potential here 🥰💞 Thank you so much for sharing this random thought with me, I'm obsessed!! Sending love! 🫶🏼😘

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers

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gareleia · 7 months ago

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THE KNITTING SAGA BUT ODY PULLS A BRUCE WAYNE

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

okay, bear with me for a moment. odysseus' perspective in all of this would be fascinating. and you know what is also fascinating? the way we can do whatever we want in this AU. so we can and will keep baby Astyanax alive.

to start with, Ody doesn't kill the baby. obviously. the reason is that, while he's having his fascinating little soliloquy about the morality of child murder in JAM, some terrified nursemaid that had been hiding somewhere in the room (I imagine her behind a conveniently shaped vase) picks up a dagger and stabs him in the shoulder from behind.

obviously she fails to do the deed, and he quickly and almost automatically kills her. but he's still stabbed. non-lethally, but enough to greatly hinder him.

Ody decides to go back to his people to get first aid. he can't bring himself to kill the baby, but he also can't just leave it there for others to find, because there's no telling if the remaining Trojans would rescue the boy, or if the Greeks would take him as a prisoner/slave or adopt/lose him somewhere where Odysseus can't ensure Zeus' prophecy won't come true. so Ody takes the baby with him.

the soldiers are,,, not impressed.

Eurylochus, looking at the infant: so, uh. what do you have here, captain? Odysseus, avoiding eye contact at all costs: a smoothie-

Eurylochus in particular is beside himself thinking about the implications. but overall people are too happy about finally going back home to really make much of a fuss about it, so it's fine (for now).

anyways Odysseus is still on edge about the baby's (and everyone else's) safety, so at first he tries to bring the boy with him everywhere. but his injured shoulder doesn't allow him to actually carry the kid too much. so that job falls to Eurylochus.

Eurylochus is soooo enthusiastic about the prospect, especially when the infant starts biting his chest, trying to nurse.

the baby: h o n g r y eurylochus: ARGH! GET YOUR GODS' DAMNED KID, BRO! odysseus: it don't bite eurylochus: YES IT DO

Odysseus prohibits everyone from using the baby's real name, both to keep its origins a secret from potential enemies, and to avoid getting attached to it (in case he actually decides he wants to kill it). so Eurylochus nicknames the baby Aphe, from greek "αφαιμάσσω", which means "to leech". because the damn brat keeps biting him.

eventually he and Poletes get into a heavy debate about whether or not it's mean to call a baby a bloodsucker, and Ody, who'd been having a crisis of faith, steps in and settles it for good.

from this point on, Astyanax the Prince of Troy is officially dead. and Odysseus is bringing home his infant son Aphemachus the Prince of Ithaca. etymology is somewhere along the lines of: afaimasso (to leech) + machos (war) = Aphemachus (the blood-sucking war; the war that sucked our blood)

Eurylochus is the one who Aphemachus had gotten attached to the most, due to all the carrying (and the biggest boo). He cries all the time when they're apart, and only Poletes seems to somehow be able to distract the boy, so they end up watching him in shifts.

aphemachus: *wailing in the dead of night* eurylochus, groaning: poletes, your leech is awake. poletes, also groaning: until the sun is up it's your leech.

Odysseus at the same time is still having doubts, so he doesn't trust himself to be too close to the baby.

those thoughts will haunt him for years, and will eventually play a huge role in their relationship, even after Ody starts forcing himself to spend time with his new son to forge a bond that would hopefully stop Aphemachus from destroying Ithaca.

Aphemachus indirectly saves Poletes' life. because when they reach the cyclops' island, Poletes stays behind with the majority of the soldiers to look after the baby. as a result Polyphemus doesn't kill him.

the downside is, Polyphemus almost gets a drop on Odysseus, and in an effort to push him away from danger Eurylochus gets severely injured. his right shoulder never quite recovers, and very deep down he blames Odysseus for needing help in the first place, because not freezing up in battle is the first and most important lesson they were taught as children, and then Ody went and froze up anyway.

sidenote, in Mutiny later on Odysseus will intentionally aim for said shoulder, exploiting the weakness that Eurylochus will have been very put out by and insecure about. just to add to the overall drama.

what none of them know yet, is that Odysseus had royally pissed off Zeus by ignoring his 'friendly advice' of infanticide. so much so, in fact, that Zeus tasks Ares with ensuring that Aphemachus grows up to destroy Ithaca.

as a result, poor kid grows up with the voice of bloodthirsty God of War in his head, constantly trying to convince him that everyone secretly hates and wants to kill him, that he's been stolen from Troy for nefarious purposes, and that it's his duty to avenge his REAL family. so, basically, your standard run-of-the-mill gods-induced paranoid schizophrenia.

odysseus: so, what do you want for dinner? ares: YOUR HEAD ON A SPIKE aphemachus: a bagel ares: NOOO aphemachus: two bagels

as you can guess, the poor boy's mental health is... Not Great™. he grows up a difficult kid, sensitive, too smart for his own god, prone to angry outbursts. think a cross between Damian Wayne and Jason Todd. he's also very paranoid, and remember that Odysseus still has doubts? Aphemachus can sense that, and that scares and angers him more, which makes him lash out, to which Odysseus also tries to keep his distance even more. he doesn't have much experience at actual hands-on parenting, and it doesn't help that he's not sure if he has a right to act as a father to the boy he had indirectly orphaned and directly almost killed.

poletes, exasperated: aphe, dear, we've talked about this. you know violence is never the answer, right? aphemachus: right. aphemachus: violence is the question, and the answer is YES-

so the most consistent positive influence Aphemachus has in his life are Eurylochus, Polites, Perimedes and Elpenor - until the latter dies and Perimedes decides to stay away.

Eurylochus is the stone-faced stern mother hen. he's the one that makes lists upon lists in his head of what the baby, and later toddler, needs. he enforces bed time, makes him eat as healthy as possible on the ship, etc. as such, his status as 'favorite' is quickly revoked once the kid grows old enough to complain.

the new favorite is Poletes, who spoils Aphe rotten and has a hard time saying no to anything. he's the fun uncle who's always down to play games.

Perimedes and Elpenor are like semi-responsible older brothers, who teach him about all kinds of stuff. Perimedes is the type to give Aphe lots of different chores to keep him occupied, and Elpenor, in contrast, tends to whisk the kid away to get him to relax and unwind. he also likes to teach Aphe about stars and constellations. meanwhile Peri 100% had handed toddler Aphe a knife as a prank to test everyone's situational awareness (think Stabby the Roomba), and got shit from everyone.

eurylochus: let me see what you have! aphe: a knife! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ eurylochus, going through all stages of grief simultaneously: NO!

Ares, while he detests lying and 'cheating', doesn't want to wait until Aphe grows up to make him wreak havoc. so instead he starts trying to trick the kid into accidentally causing bloodshed. and most of the time he targets Polites, because the peace-loving fool is an affront to everything Ares stands for.

this results in Aphe often running in between someone's legs at most unfortunate times, spilling liquid where people walk frequently, hiding fish hooks in food as a 'joke'…

it comes to a head with a contraption born out of every inch of cunning Ares possesses (not much), all Aphe's wild child imagination and many of Perimedes' trap-making lessions. it's a glorious thing, straight out of something between Home Alone and the Final Destination series.

Nobody ever really catches him, blaming the near-accidents on pure bad luck. Poletes never once notices that something is amiss, thinking he's just clumsy. the only reason he's still alive is because Elpenor is somehow always there to run interference.

Elpenor is the only one to suspect Aphe, but, since he's a dumbass alcoholic, nobody believes him, even his boyfriend Perimedes. Ares gets fed up with this and starts making Aphe target Eple instead, but before anything could really be done Ruthlessness happens, and they come to stay with Circe.

elpenor: I fear no man aphe: (✿◠‿◠) elpenor: but this thing… this thing scares me

it's only after Elpenor's untimely death that Perimedes starts to take his concerns seriously, but it's too little, too late. it's actually an honest to gods accident that Aphe has nothing to do with, but Peri had sat through so much paranoid, drunken rambling from Elpe that it just clicks to him. he blames Aphe, and, despite not voicing his concerns (because nobody would believe him either), he makes it abundantly clear that he doesn't want anything to do with Aphe anymore, to the boy's dismay.

finally, a few important notes on continuity:

in this AU the journey is a bit slower-paced than in canon, so instead of Act 1 happening almost at once after they left Troy, in the Knitting Saga after the Polyhemus fiasco, pissed off Poseidon decides to torture them first before the execution, so they are lost at sea for a couple years in between Remember Them and Storm, before Poseidon gets bored and decides to kill them for good. then they spend a year with Circe as she cooks up a way to send them into the Underworld, in the meantime hoping that Poseidon cools down somehow. then the Underworld and the Thunder Sagas happen a couple months apart, and then Ody (and Aphemachus, who is kept alive by the gods purposefully, so he has a chance to grow up and destroy Ithaca) spend 5 years with Calypso, and then another year trying to get to Ithaca.

Telegonus still exists in this AU, despite not being the son of Odysseus and Circe. instead, he is the unwanted son of Circe and some unnamed sailor from that first batch that she had taken pity upon and let her guard around. because of being born a demigod and living on a magical island his aging is a bit wonky, but he appears to be around 12-15 years old. he's a charming, confident, precocious child, who takes after his mother in personality and approaches. him and Odysseus get really close in the time that the crew stays on Aeaea, because Telegonus is not (as far as Ody knows, at least) prophecized to harm Ithaca and Odysseus desperately misses Telemachus; while Telegonus just imprints on the first dad-shaped adult he sees. Aphe is sad and desperately jealous.

aphemachus: d-daddy??|･ω･) odysseus: do I look like- ಠ益ಠ telegonus: you are my dad! you're my dad! boogie-woogie-woogie! (~˘▾˘)~ odysseus: awww!! yes!! what a good boy!!(✿◠‿◠) aphemachus: ಠ_ಠ

fun fact, Ody considers leaving Aphe on Calypso's island. Aphe, who's like 8-9 at the time, almost expects him to do so. only on the morning of their departure do they have a heart-to-heart about how Ody was a shitty, emotionally unavailable father, and how Aphe only ever wanted to be loved.

fun fact 2, telegonus will make another appearance later ٩(๑･ิᴗ･ิ)۶

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promptsbytaurie · 1 year ago

Text

dialogue prompts that give off ~chaotic vibes~

!!please credit me if you use any!!

"you idiot. now we're gonna die."

"american cheese. shitty yet addicting. kind of like my exes."

"everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still."

"careful. those aren't designed for idiots."

"tssk, tssk. what would jeff goldblum think of this?"

"if you're trying to manipulate me, it's not working."

"i'm about to say 'shut up' and if you respond with a ridiculously flirtatious 'make me' i will slap you."

"i congratulate you. to convince them is no small feat." *pause* "though you do have small feet."

"don't worry. it's not lethal. i think."

"hey, did you fall from heaven when you hurt--fuck."

"no, but i can speak greek. είσαι σκατά." [you are shit.]

"can i? of course. will i? nah bro."

"we're gonna die and your tombstone will be engraved with 'death by dumbassery.'"

"i had a cat once. his name was stewart. i trained him in the fine art of jiu jitsu."

"what do you mean most people don't carry multiple knifes on them at once?? what if there's an attack?? or an urgent need to cut lettuce??"

"i swear to god if you post this on twitter i will steal your kidney."

"ok. fine. maybe i am a dumbass. but you gotta admit i'm a hot dumbass."

"ah, canada." (that's it. that's the prompt)

"is. is that a grenade."

"abso-fucking-lutely not."

"you know, this reminds me of the time i met the president."

"sometimes, your stupid astounds me."

"yeahhhh no. we're not doing that."

"is there actually anything in your skull or is it just dust and dumbass?"

"gordon ramsay is such a mood."

"this would be romantic if you weren't you and i wasn't me."

"most people just send a text, you know."

"goddammit. how many fucking beans did you spill."

"the world could be ending and you'd still find time to livetweet the imminent destruction of reality."

"you look like shit."

"i can kill a man with my bare hands but i can't unscrew this goddamn jar--"

extra challenges:

use all 31 in one work.

write one prompt every day for a month.

use a random number generator and write 500 (or any set number of) words, and only that amount of words.

to add some spice to #3, set a timer!

(reposted to switch to my prompt blog)

#prompt list #dialogue prompts #prompts #random prompts #writing prompts #writers #writing #dialogue prompt #writing dialogue #prompts list #challenges #writing challenge #31 prompts

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dezznuggz · 1 year ago

Text

LTLVC WINS $50,000

The groupchat × reader insert

~This will basically be about LTLVC YouTube vid part 4 and how the reader reacts to each groupchat member's elimination.

•(DO NOT READ IF U HAVE NOT SEEN THE VID YET, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!) There will be use of y/n, reader will go by she/her(sorry) this is my first time so tell me if anything's wrong and pls give me requests. Don't be a silent reader and plz give request...enjoy

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NICK'S ELIMINATION:

We are about a million hours into the challenge and everyone is doing good so far, or that's atleast what they're trying to show. I'm also trying to act off as if I'm not tired by moving around and talking alot. Right now I'm currently eating hot fries while swinging from side to side in my chair. We just finished doing lights off and during lights off I felt like I was losing it mostly when tanner danced as a floating shirt and having nick get mad at us for not being able to be quiet for 5 mins (I was the main person being loud)

"tanner are u still there?" Isaac asks since tanners been quiet, "yea I'm still here, I'm watching the Simpsons look!" Tanner says as he shows us his phone where he was literally watching the Simpsons on Twitter. "Nick?" Isaac moves on to asking Nick since he looks a little too asleep. "Mmm" nick responds to Isaac since he's too sleepy to even respond correctly. "Bro ur barely awake" Isaac tells Nick since he can practically see Nick having on from just a thread, "no I'm just keeping my eyes closed, I'm listening to y'all's conversation.." nick says with his eyes still closed, "bro your actually kidding there's no way your getting sleepy this early its ridiculous" I say to nick cause honestly it is outrageous, "im not sleepy im just bored since im sitting here doing nothing and im fucking cold!" Nick says slightly irritated for being accused of sleeping.

A little bit of time goes by, I'm watching YouTube videos to keep myself entertained, everyone else is talking to each other about God knows what then grunk makes a statement on how Nick looks like Eminem so I take a look at my discord and see Nick with his head down with his hood on. Everyone starts making comments on how he's asleep, then we all turn silent and start whispering to see if Nick responds then suddenly we hear him snoring and all of us practically freak out quietly. "Nick if you don't respond in 10 seconds then I'll remove you for falling asleep first 4 times in a row" Isaac says while whispering. "This is embarrassing" I say very quietly.

10.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1.0...

Isaac then removes nick from the call and all of us were honestly shocked for Nick to fall asleep and get eliminated that early. "Did anyone's else's heart rate like start going up cause mine did" Larry says equally as shocked as everyone, "dude there's actually no way he got out this early, he actually wanted to stay for a long time bro I feel bad" I say since Nick was talking non stop how this year was his year. "That's a new record" tanner says while laughing, "Isaac you have to make the tweet, one down" Larry tells Isaac with tanner still laughing in the back. "He really didn't want to get out yet" yumi says while still shocked, "yea he didn't even get to play lethal company with us" yumi says. Then Larry and Yumi start acting like Nick when he said he wasn't asleep. "He's going to be so mad" I say already knowing how Nick is, "he's probably still asleep bro" grunk says. Nick then joins the call again seeming a little more awake, "hey man wassup" grunk says to nick, then Nick starts talking about how he just had his head down. "Dude you were just sleeping and snoring away" I say and tanner laughs, "you did this to yourself, why'd you do this to yourself, you chose the most comfortable position to sleep in". "You get in the most coziest spots". "Why do you get in the most coziest spots like come on", me, tanner, and grunk start shaming on Nick for practically self sabotaging himself. Nick then says his final goodbyes before leaving the call to sleep while we still have to stay for $50,000.

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GRUNK'S ELIMINATION:

I don't even know how long we've been awake and I don't even remember how long ago yesterday was. After Nick left we had some surprising guests like Santa (who said I was on the naughty list for always being loud and screaming at the boys), and Nick also joined back to the call for a little bit, which we terrorized him for eating almost a dozen donuts. We are doing lights off right now and Larry has a special challenge for us called the black market challenge that he had planned since last year. For the black market challenge we had to listen to men whimpering for SIX WHOLE MINUTES. "That was like cross my heart and hope to die send me to hell now God challenge!" Yumi says after being fully annoyed by the whimper audio, "I'm never participating in the black market challenge ever again" I say after being traumatized, "I'm not gonna lie but that did not feel like 6 minutes, that felt like an hour" tanner says while laughing.

"well I'm going to bed dude, I have to prepare for exams tomorrow" grunk says while sounding sleepy and also a little bit sad. "That's a very mature thing to do grunk, I'm proud of you" I say so grunk doesn't feel fully disappointed in himself for giving up on $50k. Larry then makes a statement on how grunk was a good soldier while Yumi flashbangs himself multiple times while smiling like an insane person. Grunk then explains how he knew he wouldn't have been able to win after hearing Yumi being fully committed to the challenge. "You know what this as a message for everyone to never let a last to leave vc ruin your college" everyone laughs at what I said. "Yes, yes I know but next year imma clear my schedule" grunk says. Everyone says their goodbyes to grunk as he fist bumps his camera and leaves.

"this call looks empty dude" Yumi says as now seeing how far he came, "I'm watching AI Santa clause" tanner says out of the blue "what???" I say while laughing. "Dude I feel bad, ISAAC WHAT THE HELL!" I scream at Isaac, "what did I do?!!" Isaac replies back confused, "I don't know I just need to argue to keep me awake" I say while talking in a much lower and calmer way. "Now I see why you got put on the naughty list" yumi says, I then look at the camera shocked and jokingly hurt, "alright you know what then I'm gonna leave the call" I say while closing my eyes to make it more believable that I'm going to quit, "NO ACTUALLY DONT!" Yumi screams at me to "wake" me up, "yeah that's what I thought keep that same energy" I say and I go back to my phone while Isaac laughs.

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TANNER'S ELIMINATION:

I didn't even bother to keep track of time anymore, at this point I'm army crawling my way to stay awake. Yumi is talking to me but I'm mostly responding to him in a mumbling way or in a short way. Larry takes notice that I'm getting sleepy so he also starts talking to me while trying to make me laugh but as Larry tries talking to me, Yumi ends up being the one responding to Larry while I just zone out and contemplate life. I soon see tanner walk off somewhere to the right but I don't think much of it cause of all people, he's the main one that keeps moving around. "y/n, you good?" Isaac asks me as he sees me being quiet, "I'm straight, I'm Gucci, I'm pure, I'm at my finest right now, if you ask me how good I am right now id tell you I'm good" I say rambling and mumbling on words, "what?!?!" Larry says while laughing at how drained I am right now. "Y/n you can not fall asleep right now! I'm not ready! I'm not there yet!" Yumi yells at me knowing that if I fall asleep then he's gonna want to leave the call. "Woah who said I was falling asleep, did u not just hear how fucking fresh I am right now" I say no longer mumbling, "where's tanner?" Isaac asks, "I think he went to the bathroom I don't know" Larry answers Isaac's question and we continue talking about how Isaac's dad was practically giving us a little nap break, "no cause I remember when I got eliminated the first time, I was going to play it off as a joke" Larry says while trying to keep himself awake, "dude I remember that, I felt so bad but it was so funny" I say while laughing a little. "It's like when you're in class and your feet fall" Yumi says as he acts as if he fell over but got woken up in class, "exactly like that then you gotta check to see what everyone else is doing and they're all reading" I say while laughing starting to get a little more energized. "Is tanner still in the bathroom?" Isaac asks but no one really answers him but instead Yumi makes a new conversation about his PC being bipolar or something.

We then all hear a phone ring and we go quiet, "who are you calling?" I asked the question that Larry and Yumi wanted to ask, "are y'all 100% sure that tanners in the bathroom?" Isaac asks while being a little bit suspicious. "I heard him say he was going to the bathroom". "I didn't hear him say he was going to the bathroom" Yumi and Larry say almost at the same time, "when tanner says he's going to the bathroom, we don't know" laughing a little Knowing that tanner would do something dumb like that. "Imma head downstairs to get a bowl of cereal, you want me to check in tanners room?" I ask Isaac, "yea can you do that please thank you" Isaac responds to me and I head out of my room. I walk into tanners room and although it's dark I can still see the big dark figure laying on tanners bed that so happens to be tanner himself, I let out a quiet giggle and I walk over to his PC. I bring his mic close to my mouth "he's laying on his bed playing angry birds" I say very quietly and I let out a breathy laugh, I then go to tanners bed and I take a picture, after the picture I take his phone and show Yumi and tanner that I have his phone, "he's knocked out cold, he's dead asleep, he's out dude" I say before having tanner leave the call.

I got my bowl of cereal and I walked back into my room to still hear Yumi, Larry, and Isaac talking about tanners elimination, "wait y/n did you take a picture?" Isaac asks me, "oh yeah let me send it to y'all" I say while laughing a little while still remembering how tanner looked while asleep. "No yea I walk in there and he's fucking asleep, I didn't get a good picture of it tho but he only has 2 stars on every level" I say to the people that are still left in the call, "wait what I thought you get 3 stars automatically if you complete the level" Yumi says a little shocked on how much of a noob tanner is at angry birds. "Alright new challenge y/n, we listen to lullaby music while watching the herds till we fall asleep" Larry says while chuckling, "we get tucked in, a binky, and a warm glass of milk" Yumi butts in, "alright I'm down" I say while being sleep deprived.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

LARRY'S ELIMINATION:

I'm already sleep deprived and at this point I'm finding everything funny for some reason and it doesn't make it better when Yumi won't stop talking about something dumb. "What's up with my lighting? What are you talking about? Are you jealous? Are you jealous cause you're poor? Oh you're not gonna get the 50k to help you buy it cause you're poor and you're gonna just stay poor" Yumi rambling to Larry about his lighting and I keep just keeping laughing at absolutely nothing, "oh yeah well you're so rich-" Larry cuts himself off from laughing, "y/n what are you laughing about?!!?" Larry asks while also laughing at me laughing about nothing. "Dude they're both at their breaking point" Isaac says while watching both Larry and I laugh non stop, "they're both losing it" Yumi adds on to what Isaac said.

Isaac then starts asking me why girls like thongs, "dude i don't know I haven't worn those in like ages" I say while calming down from laughing, "she hasn't worn a thong since 100 B.C" Larry says while laughing which caused me to laugh again. "No dude they just feel it different then what we feel" Yumi says but then quickly adds on how Isaac is gay for even thinking that, "no for real tho I think it has something to do with preventing less sweat and not to show our pantie lines" I say while still laughing a little, "oh no yea that too, girls don't like to show their pantie lines, yea I said that" Yumi says..."You did not say anything close to that" Isaac says. Isaac and Yumi start talking about whatever and I just kept zoning out to the point that I was falling asleep so I sat up straight and tried butting into their conversation to hopefully wake me up. "Isaac wake Larry up right now. There's no way he's sleeping, start the count down dude wake him up" Yumi says to Isaac while Isaac tries asking Larry what cuervo meant and he got no response. "No Larry better not be asleep I swear to god-" I say but got cut off by Isaac "wait wait okay 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0" Isaac counts down in a very unenthusiastic way. "KICK HIM! KICK HIM NOW!" Yumi yells at Isaac, who still gave Larry more time to wake up just in case he was trolling, "No dude they got Larry" I say fake crying as if he died. Larry then joins back after Yumi finishes his little celebration for being apart of the last 2, "dude what the fuck happened" I say to Larry, "no here's the thing- oh my God my heart is fucking beating fast!" Larry says and then he explains how him getting eliminated felt unreal and that he's not gonna be a sore loser about it which caused Yumi to compliment Larry for being a good teammate. "Bye Larry cheer for me in your dreams, imma win this for you" I say to Larry before Larry jokingly blows a girly kiss and wave at his camera then leaving.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

THE FINAL 2:

It was just me, Yumi, and Isaac and we were both over it. My strategy simply didn't work but instead back fired at me. I was supposed to talk and argue with everyone so I can stay awake but instead I ended up zoning out almost halfway through which caused me to become even sleepier. "Isaac if you paid me $5000 right now, I'll leave" I say as I'm trying to leave the call with atleast a little bit of money, "no absolutely not" Isaac says while being completely over everything going on, "okay how about $5,000.50¢?" I say still trying to leave the call with just a little bit of money, "ooo you know what that's a good deal I would take it" Yumi agrees with me, "what no, you guys do realize that I have to give the winner 50k while also paying the loser 5k?" Isaac says trying to reason with me and Yumi but we still don't seem to get it and Isaac just gets frustrated.

"on the scale from 1-10 how sleepy are you Yumi?" Isaac asks Yumi so that he too can stay awake, "I would say, I would say, I would say, I don't know, id probably say-". "DUDE WHATS YOUR SCALE AT RIGHT NOW??!!" I scream at Yumi cause him not comprehending is causing me to not comprehend either. "I don't know id say I'm in another planet but I'm not sleepy, like I'm in another planet that higher and better than y'all's planet" Yumi says and it goes silent, "...imma be honest with you, for someone that says they on another planet, you don't look like you're on another planet right now?" I say while laughing a little which caused Yumi to laugh, "no cause y/n laughs at her own jokes" Yumi says while laughing, "honestly if y/n could date herself she would, wouldn't you y/n?" Isaac asks "if I could fuck myself I would trust me" I say without a single thought in my brain and all Isaac and Yumi did was laugh.

"okay one of y'all has to be on the verge to quit and I'm taking a bet that it's y/n" Isaac says in hopes of riling y/n up so she can stay awake, "how'd you know, Isaac's so smart, you're a smart guy Isaac" I say in a sarcastic tone cause I am on the verge of quiting, "Isaac you know y/n got invited to a Christmas party yesterday" Yumi says since isaac conversation plan didn't work out, "YEAHHHHHH" i say in a very cheer tone, "you're going for the food aren't you?" Isaac says, "yeah" I say back to my calm self while looking at my phone and Yumi laughs.

I'm looking at my phone and my mouth literally hangs open and my head starts feeling like 50 pounds so I nod off for a little bit since Yumi and Isaac are talking so a couple seconds of sleep wouldn't hurt. I feel relaxed, I feel better, I feel fresh, I feel happy, I feel...wait...why's everything quiet? I open my eyes to see my PC on the general chat and my heart completely falls to my ass. I panic and I see that Isaac and Yumi are still in the call so I quickly join. "Y/N WHAT HAPPENED?!!??" Isaac screams in my ear and I'm still shocked like I don't even know what's going on, "dude I swear I wasn't even asleep!" I say as I have a shocked face the whole time and no longer feeling sleepy, "I was actually rooting for you y/n, I'm so disappointed" Isaac says while Yumi cheers and laughs. "IM JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ISAAC WHAT THE FUCKKK" I say also disappointed in myself cause I came so far and I never won any of the LTLVC, I thought this year was also going to be my year. Yumi and I have calmed down but Yumi is still chatty and hyped up at the fact that he won $50,000, "Isaac...am I still gonna get the $5,000.50¢?" I ask politely, "no get the fuck out the call, congrats on winning Yumi, imma go to sleep leave me alone" Isaac says as he disconnects me and Yumi and I headed to sleep Knowing that I could've won half a million.

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#the group chat x reader #softwilly x reader #yumi × reader #isaacwhy x reader #tanner × reader #the group chat #the groupchat podcast #larry × reader #ltlvc #first post #give request

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