#breathing exercises arent so bad

[torahtot]

every time i have the opportunity to go swimming i get my period like! fucking! clockwork! i was made to suffer i will always suffer

[blackpilljesus]

I've not dated or had close relations with moids in years. I've been on the path to spending the rest of my days as a single childfree woman & committing to it as an osawoman. During this time here's what I've learnt, shorter version here:

This lifestyle is a privilege - being able to exist without having to directly depend on a moid romantically/sexually is a luxury. Know the privilege you have and how you can take full advantage of it and keep yourself set. We arent living this way solely bc we're smarter, we were just momentarily luckier. Most women are a political/natural disaster away from losing everything. Bear this in mind; along the way think of "what if" to best start preparing yourself.

Dont bother justifying your ways to people - Most wont and dont want to get it. Save your breath. By getting into back and forth arguments over not marrying moids & not having children you are digging a deeper hole for yourself by giving them more fodder to counter. They wont change their minds. End the conversation short & move on.

You cant save everybody - Ditch the saviour complex. We all get dealt bad hands in life; some worse than others. Other peoples lives arent your responsibility, there's only so much you can do because you've got your own issues too. Besides some are too far gone, you'll only end up drowning or being burned trying to save others especially if they dont want saving.

Recruitment is a waste of time - I often see extensive discourse around this topic w/ some women trying so hard to recruit others into this lifestyle or being separatists, wgtow, etc. All this does is waste time that can be spent on building instead. If some women dont get it oh well it's not the end of the world (although every woman does get it, they're just doing what they can t survive) it doesn't matter long term TO YOU because if you're serious you dont need other womens understanding/stamp of approval to build a network/resources for women; you can get started without them; heck some may join once they see the value like how so many women broke up with their partners after watching the barbie movie. Some women are more focused on recruitment than living the single childfree life they claim to be about and it consumes them - dont let recruitment consume you. Besides other women willingly engaging with moids buys you some time; those who know - know.

Most activism is a waste of time. Things only change when it benefits those in power but they will never relinquish their power entirely. It's great to put knowledge out there for others to learn but getting into discourse having to justify yourself & being swallowed by your activism will do more harm than good. Most activism is a stepping stone at most for the next chapter of your life. Learn to game the system instead of changing the system.

Focus on yourself. Everything as we know it is rooted in the system that has been perfected over the millenias. The problems of misogyny, racism, ableism, etc have existed before we were born and will exist after we die (part of why im not birthing into this mess). Trying to change it is a losing battle. This doesnt mean dont advocate or care about anything but look out for yourself first & be comfortable learning to existing between the cracks. It'll be quite the exercise tho as we've been socialised to prioritise others.

This is not a lifestyle one simply chooses it's something that chooses you. This isn't for everyone, those who know; know. If you require a lot of convincing or handholding then it isn't for you.

It gets lonely. Not because of not having a moidfriend; even when partnered with them many women still feel lonely. It's because most women are moid centric / obsessed and would want to be partnered with an xy someday or already are. Very few women truly commit to or understand this lifestyle irl tbh. Even my moots who are separatists or just single & childfree are halfway across the world. However that said, many women in the community can also be toxic; holding each other to high standards and there being constant bickering. You can befriend moid partnered women but be careful with them. We're surrounded by the system, existing out of core elements of it will come with a degree of isolation but on the bright side there's also peace if it all goes well.

Less is more. The less you say to others the less ammunition they have to hit you with. Bragging about this lifestyle to our predators will only make things harder because they've already got a huge upperhand. Too many of us moving in one go will bring unprecedented waves we're not ready to deal with. See 2, 3, and 4.

Ignorance is not bliss. Completely cutting off from xys including knowledge of their evil will make you unprepared should a threat strike. Not understanding moids nature is how some women think things are as easy as getting up and walking away without considering security & other factors then get suprised when moids strike. I'm not saying drown in true crime & xy evil but dont stray too far you lose touch of reality. Side note this is why women are gaslit about moids nature so that they dont have the chance to effectively prepare. Stay informed. I constantly learn from the women around me. Pay attention to xy motives & tactics. The power they hold, possible moves they may play etc. You wont be able to know/guess everything but stay in the loop nonetheless.

You will make mistakes be prepared to learn

It gets easier to control your attraction to moids overtime (if you're osa) as your focus is elsewhere as you realise there is a more fulfilling world out there beyond marriage & kids. Also life is just so much better. I know most women want the fairytale prince charming or an angel nigel but it's just not happening. Especially in a world like this. The freedom to be able to exist as a person & not a slave/punching bag for a rape ape is BLISS. You get so comfortable with it you wont wanna be with moids anyway especially when you see what other women go through. (Side note this is why women are pushed to being with moids as early as possible so this level of enlightenment is never reached & instead all women know + become accustomed to is suffering at the hands of moids).

As time passes and you mature into this lifestyle you can tell who's new and who's got skin in the game. I wont elaborate here as it'll digress and this note is long as is but those who know; know.

There's so much work to be done it'll last a lifetime. This lifestyle ain't easy. It strays from the norm so the typical guardrails that come with traditional options are out of the picture. The good news is that you can spend time crafting your own blueprint to follow or share with others who are willing. There's such little in terms of infrastructure & resources for single childfree women and yeah xys will likely try to destroy these things but at the same time if it can be done go for it and bear xy threat in mind we gotta start somewhere.

A purpose/guide is important. It's something that's going to guide your life through the ups and downs because it wont be a smooth ride but it'll be something that can make you in situations that break you. This isn't a "fuck you" to moids directly, it's about ourselves. Seeing this lifestyle as some type of "gotcha" against moids will only make things harder and lowkey misses the point of decentering them. I have my reasons for never getting married or having children that are solid (if you need inspiration checkout r/breakingmom on reddit). True comes from seeing something as bigger than yourself; find a purpose in this line of life to keep you going.

Invest in yourself. Personally, financially, etc. Pretty obvious but especially now that you're going to be more alone you need to be able to count on yourself more. With enough investment it can help other women too.

Invest in female network. No gyn is an island. Even though I'm not much of a social person the friends I have make my life better; they've been supportive but also honest. Also support female centric spaces online & offline; they're all that we have lest we be banished to the silo prison of the "nuclear family" or exploitative misogynistic communities.

Get comfortable disassociating/cutting people off. If you want to survive some things/people will simply just have to go.

You arent owed anything from other women, but you dont owe them anything either. The operating word here is owed, I aint saying women shouldn't help each other - I'm saying dont feel entitled. The feminist "girls support girls" schtick is bullshit. We're in a cold world full of ruthless oppression where everyone is just trying to survive however they can; in many cases it helps women survive when they turn on other women instead of on moids. Solidarity works because those who have solidarity politically speaking are people with power, it works in their interest to stand & work together as to keep + maintain their privileges in society so there wont be much female solidarity as in many cases it's not worth it to women long run. It aint right but that's how they perceive it so watch your back.

Everything is political. Always remember this. Many (privileged) people try to downplay politics & its effect but it runs our world which is why they want you blind to it. Pay attention.

There's merit to being around like-minded women even if it's just online. Like I said before it gets lonely. Very few women are willing to face & accept the truth about maIes. Being around like-minded women can be depressing sometimes as they drop blackpills bitter than you can initially handle but at least you dont feel so isolated/crazy.

[fandomxo00]

I used to think masking was one of the worst things and it is inherently bad. But we dont live in a world where people with autism, adhd or any other mental illness can freely be themselves all the time. We mask to protect ourselves and I tend to over use my mask, unaware when its on or off but im working on it and figuring out who I should unmask around and who I shouldnt.

But is also part of trauma and when I am easily triggered my mask goes up and I tend to lose control over my emotions, feeling completely numb one moment before feeling the happiest or saddest I have been in days. When I have on my mask for extended periods of time, thats when my mood swings start, the executive dysfunction, giving into complusions and not telling the intrusive thoughts to fuck off. Its not that I dont want to fight against these things because the moment I can I do. But its the fact that people dont understand that I dont choose to not function, I dont choose to feel my emotions intensely or not at all. I dont choose the days where I can barely talk or move. I dont choose to get worse. Its because Im not me anymore, Im simply surviving, I cant make decisions towards a purpose or a true want in life because how are you supposed to focus on that if you want to get better? But the funny thing is when I refound a purpose, it changed everything and I felt like me again.

Im recognizing triggers and behaviors before they happen, I cant always stop them but Ive learned to try and expect that. Im feeling more in tune with myself than I have in years and its because I know I want a future, that I have something to work towards, something that means the world to me and keep me motivated and grounded.

I might fall back into the same patterns, I can try my best to soothe my body and mind when Im triggered but its nearly impossible for me not to fall into some type of trauma response. But I also know it wont last forever, that it doesnt control me and it doesnt make me who I am today. I am. No one else. I get to create my destiny, my future my hopes and dreams.

After feeling so out control for so long, Im finally giving myself the patience, the stucture, the care and love that I did not receive as a child. Its taken over two years and probably even longer to even get to a point where I can actually be happy for a couple days. That I dont have to go to the hospital every time I have a bad day, because my first thought isnt "I want the pain to stop" Its "I am capable of fighting through this, I am strong."

And Ik affirmations and self care seem like a trivial thing but its not.

Affirmations calm my nervous system and so does self care. Its helps emotionally, it helps with my confidence but my body calms down when breathing exercises just arent doing it. I even find that sometimes focusing on my breathing will make me hyperfixate and I will be thinking about breathing rather than doing it naturally so I would get light headed from holding my breath and not understand why I couldn't breathe. Its important to focus on breathing especially when your panicked but with me it can be slippery slope of what my ocd is going to attach itself to.

And for the first time in a long fucking time I actually said, "I think Im getting better."

[playboynanners]

i wanna start off by telling u i am sorry!! i wanna tell u about all this crazy shit in my head, and want to open up and want to talk about my feelings but no matter what, i just cant make out the right words...? like it feels like cant properly put my thoughts and emotions into words i guess??

all i want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside. i cant take it anymore. i feel weird. i dont want to do anything. i always feel tired. i dont have any energy. a part of me broken. something is def weighing on my heart. i just feel so fucking suffocated. i feel like i am so far behind in life that i will never catch up. everyone is doing so many things with their lives. and i am just here. i really dont think i can do this its getting dark again. and im afraid. im too tired to carry on. i want MYSELF back bro is that too much to ask for? i deffff know its getting bad because even sleep and music dont help and i feel sick all the time and i just want to disappear. i really feel like there is no happy ending for me . thats why getting through the days is hard rayen i honestly from the bottom of my heart know its all for nothing. u guys are waiting for me to get over it, to finally do something with my life, and i know u guys are getting impatient. but what u guys dont know is that im already gone. i dont like who i am. there is nothing good about me. i am sick of wasting my time. i am worn out. i so fucking tired. the anxiety consumes me at times i feel like i cant breathe i cant think straight intrusive thoughts of self distraction consume my mind i am sooo fucking sick of this version of myself!!!!! im fucking tired of the poor choices i keep making. i truly believe i have hit rock bottom. this is the humblest i have ever been because my ego has nothing to be proud of. i know i knowww it is important to be gentle with myself but its also crucial to be honest. im not taking care of myself. im doing drugs, im on social media all day. i either dont eat healthy, or i dont eat at all. i dont exercise. i watch things that arent positive and go to sleep and wake up late. i am sick to my stomach as i write this. i just want to go up from here because i cant live this way anymore. i dont wanna live this way anymore. but like if you never felt like the way i do right now... the drained , depression . WORTHLESS feeling ... then u cant say shit about me "getting better starts with yourself bs" LIKE UH ? YEAH I HATE MYSELF AND DONT GIVE A FUCKKKKK ABOUT NUN SO WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? like i honestly didnt even think i would be alive at my age i thought i wouldve been dead by 20 so u can only imagine how lost i feel lol. i dont know what to do with my life and i feel like im just wasting away most days. and i dont fucking know how to fix it. maybe this is my time for me and im supposed to be enjoying it for exactly what it is? like i dunno i just know i always fucking ruin EVERYTHINGGGG . i casually sabotage all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesnt feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring. i really want to kill whats inside of my head. i hate living like this day after day. i just want my pain to end bro . i see how everyone looks at me like i’m a burden, how they fake concern only to switch up at me the next second. i don’t want to be this way, im so lost and alone and i just don’t see the point anymore. this is the loneliest i have ever felt. i don't have a shoulder to cry on when im sad, i have got legit no one to go to. i have noooo tears left to cry dude. my heart hurts so much. my insides are burning. i dont know how to help myself. i legitimately try and i make it worse. i wanna scream all this hurt and pain out. can i just lose my memory just so i can take a break from feeling this way? im not sure how long i can handle this alone anymore all honesty .

AND i wouldnt say im "addicted" to drugs and alcohol (JUST YET lol) butttt what i hate about liking them is that once you know how that high feels and the break from reality you get from everything you will FOREVER know how good it felt and thats the problem. u can be days, months, years of being clean. but i know when you quit its gonna be hard years down the road. i would take it alllll back and not start doing any of it. it turns from "just one time trying it" to "i promise this is the last time" but all honestly i dont know how to stop or be normal in this world sober anymore.

and to sum it alllll up i just want / need someone who can hug me and tell me that im not as worthless as i think i am i feel so fucking empty sometimes and its so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time.

[pagesofkenna]

I get really annoyed when people talk about dancing as if, like, those of us who aren't dancing wish we were and are just too cowardly to get out on the dancefloor

like, people will talk about old high school dances and just casually mention 'and those loser kids standing by the wall because they're afraid of looking foolish if they come out and dance like the rest of us'. they'll talk about the people at a club who arent dancing 'because they're allergic to having fun' (as if watching people dancing isn't loads of fun??)

(I also get annoyed at people trying to decide if other people are having fun or not for them, but that's a different rant)

It bugs me for a number of reasons, the least of which being that the same people will make fun of bad dancers! people whose dancing just consists of head bobbing or elbow shaking! they really will say 'you should be embarrassed about being ashamed' and 'you should be embarrassed about not being ashamed' in the same breath!

but the main reason this annoys me is because, straight up, I do not know how to dance. not 'I dont know cool dances' I mean when the music starts playing I do not know how to move my body in any way that is pleasurable. I don't feel the beat coursing through me and feel I must move to it. I can't move to the beat if I tried (I suck at DDR). I can mimic dance moves (poorly, ill-timed) and it just feels like an exhausting aerobics exercise

group or partner dances can be fun, because there's pleasure in a attempting a group challenge, but I don't dance for myself. I never danced alone in my bedroom as a kid; I never do that as an adult. I'm not embarrassed, it's just not an instinct for me! I assume it is for other people but not me!

it's like people are acting like I'm too embarrassed to bake bread or something!! sure I can (poorly) if called upon but if it's just for me I don't want too?? I don't care about baking bread?? I don't care about dancing??

And the addendum to this that I love singing so much and I'm way too embarrassed to do it in front of people. you wanna talk about an 'instinctual human act of expression that people are suppressing out of cowardice??' I love driving because it's the only time I can sing as loud as I want without being afraid of people hearing me! I don't even sing that loudly when I'm home alone because I'm afraid my neighbors will hear me! but I will belt my heart out on a solo car trip and it's so cathartic!!!

I know what it's like to be 'not good' at an act of expression and thereby too embarrassed to do it in front of others! and dancing is not it! and I get so pissed whenever a fictional character is shamed for 'not wanting to dance' and then they do anyways and they enjoy it; I've been forced to dance many times growing up and I never enjoyed it! it's boring!! I legitimately enjoy watching y'all do it instead! shame me for hiding my bad voice instead!!

[noisytenant]

rant on places that have policies of “no cis men” or otherwise similar things. not complaining about cis man feelings idgaf abt that

i kinda think events and groups that are like “we include everyone except cis men” are lame as fuck. but lots of times they’re doing cool things, which sucks.

i understand how many people are surrounded by idiot guys who impose their wills onto whatever scene, act as chasers, drive the cool people out, and take all the credit. i think it’s fair to exercise caution and to want to prevent that from happening, and in small settings i think it’s not a big deal—even if the same criticisms apply, it has very few consequences. i especially think this policy catches on because it offers a simple comfort that is rarely afforded to people, and arguably being able to breathe a sigh of relief is worth something, even if that relief is illusory.

but i think that the problems this paradigm raises arent worth it on any larger scale. theres a lot of obvious things from the simple fact that “being a cis man” isnt a verifiable trait, but also it comes across to me like someone has done half the work of thinking about social justice but just stopped there.

i understand that power dynamics are complicated so it’s not that social dynamics are wholly reversed just because you have a position of authority, but if you organize events or operate a space YOU RUN THE SHOW! the idea that cis guys will be an invasive species that predates upon your queer utopia falls apart for the simple fact that you are not a prey animal, you are the administrator of a social club. you can distribute authority among trusted individuals in your group to protect more vulnerable people. you can do the work to cultivate a safer space by setting explicit conduct guidelines, having a clear mission statement, having policies around investigating grievances, etc.

and it will be much harder than turning away cis guys at the door—but i think if you aren’t willing to understand what it actually takes to prevent abuse, then you can never successfully cultivate meaningful community. you’ll exclude people who deserve, maybe even need what you’re offering more than some of the people who fit the bill. and, i’m not likely to trust you to genuinely keep me safe if you operate on this kind of baseline.

it feels like playing house, living in a fantasy where you can just leave the bad guys at the door. and as i said before, i simply think that is lame!

[prezrev]

tips for preventing/dealing w the flu

we are dick-deep in flu szn, ladies & gentlemen, so ofc we need to deal w that shit

prevention:

obvi, start by getting ur flu vaccine. its recommended to get it earlier than later (so around late aug, early sep) but its never too late to boost ur immune system! if youve already gotten the flu this szn, a vaccine still helps by preventing u from getting diff strains

wash ur hands a lot! if u work, wash ur hands before/after ur shift, same w school

boost ur immune system! take vitamin d/eat more oranges/strawberries, get plenty of rest, exercise, have a healthy diet, etc.

if ur like me & got sick anyway! heres ways to

deal w it:

keep a bag of peppermint next to ur bed, they're absolute baller for sore throats

take a lukewarm/hot shower when u can. if ur running a fever, keep it on the lukewarm side, but at the tailend of ur bout, try to get it as hot as possible to get all that steamy goodness to clear ur throat. and do NOT let ur hair stay wet after, it can fuck w ur body temperature more

along the same lines, sleep w a humidifier on. helps ease yo breathing

dress in layers! never know when a bout of chills will get ur ass

LOTS of green tea w honey -- an absolute godsend fr. boost immune system, an antioxidant, the honey helps a LOT w sore throats, warm drinks also help sore throats AND have been proven to boost ur mood

REST. don't try to "catch up on laundry" or do all the errands u never do. just go into a mini coma, get up a couple times a day to stretch n get some movement going, then sit ur ass back down on that bed/couch

acetaminophen/tylenol will be ur best friend if u choose to take medication. reduces fevers, deals w headaches, eases aches, etc.

gargle salt water to help ease a sore throat & loosen mucus

try to get at least a lil outside time if its not too cold out & ur symptoms arent too bad. i swear by the power of fresh air & sunshine when ur sick, its not good to sit in ur stale sick air. also gives ur bed/couch time to air out from the sick smell or lingering body heat

[biscuitsngravie]

vent under cut // disability, injury

sometimes i wish i was just born with the disabilities i have now. like, im sure that i was already disabled to an extent (most teenagers don't get sick once a month for a year i dont think) but it's like

when ppl say ur one accident away from houselessness or disability they're right. cause after my first car accident i was mostly "fine" (fine enough to walk home instead of taking the ambulance cause i was scared of the cost). i was lucky that i ended up working from home for that year coincidentally enough. credit score? shot. finances? shot. but i could still "function" mostly.

then there was my second car accident. being the passenger, that quote about passengers getting the bulk of injury? yeah. couldnt walk, couldnt stand, could barely breathe. but i did it. did my at home exercises and learned how to mostly do things again. like yeah my back hurts more often than not, and i cant stand for as long as i used to, and there are these weird pains all over my torso sometimes, but im "fine."

then that fucking ladder months after my second accident. if those two didnt take me out, the ladder sealed the deal. barely able to do anything by lie down and stretch my muscles as needed. constantly on painkillers just to go to exist. and after months of physical therapy (i had to go to myself because it wasn't "far enough" to be covered, which included a minimum of an hour walk and occasionally more) im deemed good enough to go back to work for one hundred percent care. yay me.

im "totally" healed, right? buuuuut i just gotta do these back exercises every day for the rest of my life to stand and oh yeah, im at risk of scoliosis now. im "good as new," right? yeah for sure, i just need to take some form of painkiller on occasion because all the places that "used" to hurt (they never really stopped hurting) will have flair ups and, oh would you look at that, i cant walk today. i cant stand today. i cant breathe today.

im so tired. jobs dont take me seriously cause im not legally registered as disabled. but if i even put on the application or mention that ive at the minimum history of disability, they ask me if i can "handle" the job. they send me emails saying they "filled the position." so since im not "really" disabled they can just basically give me bullshit. and i would register, and i wanna register so bad! i want a prescription for a wheelchair, to get a proper crutch, or crutches when both my knees arent being agreeable. i wanna be able to sit in the fucking disability spot on the bus without people staring at me to get up just because someone with a visible disability came in or an elderly person walked on.

im tired of having to pretend that im not in constant fucking pain because im so young. young people arent disabled. black women arent disabled.

but its also so scary. to prove disability is one of the most frightening and dehumanizing processes ive heard of. even when i was doing the claim after i fell off the fucking ladder did prove to be a hassle. and that was in my favor. the fact that ive been working is definitely not gonna help the situation. "if disabled, why work? 🤔"

theres also the savings cap. i have trips i wanna go to, places i wanna be. having a savings cap on being a recipient of disability is actually asinine. theyre pushing to raise and it and GOD i hope that bill goes through.

they basically fuck you over if you're married so there goes my aspirations of partnering ig. countries that wont let you cause ur disabled. countries that wont let you immigrate because of disability. its all so much.

this is all so fucked and this system is so fucked and its so tiring. i just honestly wish i was just born with whatever i have going on right now so that id know what to do. i just woke up one day and now i have an entire routine just to exist and i just wish it was already part of my life in some way ig. idk.

part of me is so mad. why did i listen to those people pressure me to get a car? why did i have to comment on missing that turn? why did they try to make that turn? why didnt i just, idk, not fall off the ladder hello?? why didnt i just take the medical debt from the hospital? would i be able to walk better or get care or get a case and be approved if i just kept going to the hospital instead of working?

hell, those fuckers at the original emergency room didnt even touch me, saying that i'll "bounce back because [i'm] young." its been a year now. theres not fucking "bouncing back."

i cant fucking walk as well as i used to. i cant stand some days. some days i have to practice how to breathe. i just wish that instead of having repeated trauma i was just born with it or something so that this isnt new. i hope that doesnt come off as ignorant as fuck or rude. idk how else to word it.

i wonder about if i can even take the sports i want to next year. or if i can even work at this new job that wants me to work all these hours a week. idk. working all those hours a week is ridiculous anyway. if the accidents didnt disable me that shit wouldve eventually anyway ig. guess i just got a head start. look at me, an overachiever. i did next week's work, too, teacher.

i feel like if i could get diagnosed or if i got diagnosed as a child that i'd be "legit." that i woudlnt have to "prove" to anyone that im disabled. i hate telling people i hurt and hearing about how much i "dont know about." or hear "wait till ur older." im tired of having to constantly tell ppl that young ppl can hurt, too, just to divulge in my medical history to "prove" that im "actually" disabled. im so tired. i just wanna say my knee hurts and someone passes me an ibuprofen or acetaminophen.

[witchyykitten]

Hi! I need an advice. I successfully manifested new friends and connections after long time of being lonely and specific people not noticing me. It’s great but I feel like I am still that lonely pathetic spiteful person that I was before. They treat me right, yet I don’t match the energy, and always feel like this won’t last long, that they’ll abandon me or just pity me.

Any ideas on how to start living accordingly to my new happy reality? Why do I not fully believe it happened?

hi baby!!! i think youre used to loneliness and sadness and just cant accept that u can be truly happy, youre an overthinker and engaging in self sabotaging behavior, u need to work with your self-esteem ♡

if youre thinking that accepting all the negative aspects of yourself and your life sounds difficult, youre right!!! its not easy to accept the things that we desperately want to change abt ourselves

🖤 i have 5 self-acceptance exercises for you 🖤

1. use affirmations

(repeat these statements to yourself, acknowledge and absorb them)

• "i deserve happiness"

�� "i deserve wonderful people in my life"

• "i love myself"

• “im a good and caring person and deserve to be treated with respect”

• “im capable of achieving success in my life”

• “there are people who love me and will be there for me when i need them”

2. do a self-acceptance worksheet

the point of this worksheet is to focus on the good things abt yourself (the things you like, appreciate, implement in your life, etc) completing it can help you start to open yourself up to the good aspects of yourself instead of focusing solely on the bad

list what you honor and appreciate abt yourself (gifts, talents, skills, and abilities)

some questions to consider while making your list:

• what do i appreciate abt who i am?

• what are my strengths?

• what do my friends appreciate abt me?

• what do i like abt others? which of these characteristics do i have?

• how would people who love me describe me?

when you have completed it, read it aloud while looking in a mirror

(begin each statement with the words)

- “y.n. i love your…”

- "i love my..."

3. practice relaxed awareness

close your eyes for a minute, and instead of pushing thoughts away or trying to focus on your breath, just softly notice your thoughts and feelings and body, you might see negative thoughts or emotions AND THATS OK!!! just notice them, watch them, dont try to turn them into positive thoughts or push them away (do this practice for 5 minutes a day)

4. be grateful

wake up in the morning and think abt what youre grateful for, include things abt yourself, if you failed at something, what abt that failure are you grateful for? if you arent perfect, what abt your imperfection can you be grateful for? feel free to journal abt these things each day

5. separate from your emotions

when youre feeling negative emotions, see them as a separate event, not a part of you, and just watch them, remove their power over you by thinking of them, not as commandments you must follow or believe in, but rather passing objects, like a leaf floating past you in the wind, the leaf doesnt control you and neither do negative emotions

♡ sweetheart, remember that u deserve the whole world ♡

♡ im so proud of u, youre amazing, beautiful and wonderful person ♡

[hownot2shutup]

Breathing exercises actually work? Since when?

[krispiecake]

:/

[skyeateyourdonuts]

hm.

[uwooyoungs]

//

[t0shii]

% thunderstorm comfort

.! timeskip! suna, bokuto k, akaashi (sep) x gn!r

.! warnings! mention of storms, mentions of anxiety, not proofread

.! so i'm actually really scared of storms so i had the inspiration to write this because we're supposed to thunderstorms this week where i live. i'm actually pretty proud of how this turned out 🥺

suna

suna comes home soaking wet, house seemingly empty but he knew for a fact you were home. he quickly takes his shoes off, cursing to himself as he hears yet another strike of thunder. he pads his way to your shared bedroom when he opens the door the only source of light illuminating the room is a nightlight he'd gotten you for storms like this plugged into the wall. immediately he notices your figure tucked away under the comforter. "just a sec." he mumbles toward you, walking over to the closet to change into warm, dry clothes.

once dry, he climbs into bed with you, bringing the blanket over your heads just like you had before he had joined you and pulls you into his chest. immediately another clap of thunder can be heard and the jump of your body has him holding you tighter, rubbing your back as best he can and shushing you, "it's okay baby, i'm here now. i tried to get home sooner but traffic was so bad in the city." he mumbles, words muffled against your hair before planting a kiss to the top of your head.

you whisper an 'it's okay' which he barely hears and it's only when you wrap your arms tightly around his own torso he feels the little fox plushie he'd gotten you for your birthday one year in between your bodies. he moves his hand to grab it and holds it up, "look, baby- he was keepin you safe huh?" he smiles once he feels you nod your head against his chest.

"you did so well all by yourself. i'm so, so proud of you, baby." he puts the fox back where it was then wraps his arm back around you and kisses your head again. he hold you until the storm subsides and you've either calmed down or fallen asleep, silently thanks the little fox for keeping you safe while he was gone.

bokuto

the both of you were dancing in the kitchen when he first heard the rain start, luckily you hadn't noticed yet so he assumed that if he turned the music up you wouldn't notice. he prayed it was only a light rainfall but when the first clap of thunder sounded and you looked at him terrified, he panicked on the inside but played it cool.

he grabbed your hand and led you to the living room where he grabbed a blanket and a few pillows, then to then to your bedroom where you grabbed your comfort stuffie and then to the bathroom where he set the blankets and pillows up in the tub and helped you settle in between his legs. while you hugged the stuffed animal tight, he mimicked your behavior but instead held you tight and rocked you back and forth as best he could in the tub while humming a song he could only remember the melody of that he knew you liked.

when he became tired of the song, he opted for kisses; kisses on your shoulder, neck, cheek, head, anywhere he could reach and some comforting, encouraging words. "you're doing so well, baby. control your breathing for me okay? just like we practiced last time." he guides you through a breathing exercise to help calm your anxiety. "i'm here for you okay? whatever you need let me know." he whispers near your ear and prepares for another strike of thunder.

when the storm is finally over, he'll hold you until you're ready to move out of the tub and really he'll sit there for hours with you, if that's what you need. "baby you did so great, you know? you didn't even need me to help you breathe! you did it all on your own- i'm so proud of you."

akaashi

he was in his office when you rushed in, tears staining your cheeks telling him it was raining real hard outside and you just knew thunder was coming. he helps you into his lap and wraps a throw blanket over your body. "i have to finish this work okay? i'll be here the whole time, let's do a breathing exercise real quick okay, can we do that?" he smiles at you as you nod your head 'yes' and helps you breathe. "you're so good at this, hm? maybe i should have you guide me." he praises you, cupping your cheek with his hand and wiping a few stray tears away with his thumb.

"no need to cry, my love. it's only a storm and i'm right here with you to keep you safe the whole time." he traces circles on your back with one hand in a pattern to help calm you down as his other hand continues to write on the documents in front of him- only until another clash of thunder echos throughout the apartment- he wraps both of his arms around you firmly and shushes you fingers now tracing circles in the same patter along your sides.

"it's alright, angel. i'm here, keeping you safe and sound. you're doing so well. do you want to do the breathing again?" and he guides you through the breathing exercise once more, feeling satisfied once your sobs subside, "see, that's it baby, you're doing so good for me." he kisses your shoulder, "i'm scared keiji." your voice muffled from his shirt. "i know, darling. i'm here okay, just let me know what you need."

when the storm subsides, he'll ask you if you need anything and sit with you for however long it takes until you've calmed down. "see, not so bad huh? you did so well. arent you proud of yourself? i'm proud of you." he kisses your tear stained cheeks before grabbing you a glass of water.

[hee4won]

en- reaction to you wanting to be sung to sleep

requested: by @anime-kpop-stan (tysm again for the request and being patient w me!! i hope u like it)

warnings: FLUFFY.. this is gonna be cheesy <3 (none.)

heeseung

at first when u ask he bursts out laughing

bc you asked with puppy eyes so he thinks you’re joking

then he melts when he realizes you’re serious

and starts giggling even harder

HES GONNA DO IT

But its so cute like. he knows he can sing but the fact that YOU like his singing makes him so happy

when you poke your lip out and say you’ll just sleep without it

he chases after you and makes sure you don’t fall asleep before he has the chance to sing to you

he’ll hold you close to make sure your back is against his chest

and hum so you can feel the vibrations

it’s very comforting

continue under cut!

jay

gets soooo shy

says he’s trying to hide his nervousness and tells you he’ll be in the bed once he’s done in the bathroom

“jay why arent you using the bathroom next to our bedroom?”

“...no reason! hurry get in the bed 😊”

little do you know

he went to go practice

he’s doing vocal exercises and everything as well as drinking something warm

since he thinks he has a history of embarrassing himself he wants to ensure that this is not gonna be one of those moments

and it’s not! it goes super well

you fall asleep in no time

and once he notices, he lets out a sigh of relief and knocks out himself

Wooo Jay!

jake

so tickled

like can not stop smiling

he does that thing where he tries holding back his smile by pulling down his cheeks

but he just can not help it

it’s still early but he wants to go to bed rn

he alr picked what song he’s gonna sing for you

and he rehearsed a bit before getting under the covers with you

when he starts he has to stop himself from laughing in between lines

he finishes successfully ❤️

and you had the best sleep of your life

sunghoon

ALSO GETS SO SHY

asks you why when you literally have spotify and earbuds/airpods (whatever)

but when you tell him “i love your voice 🥺 it’s pretty, just like you 🥺🥺”

gosh he starts cheesing

then regains his composure and agrees but makes sure he doesn’t look you in the eyes

tries singing to you without looking at your face in order to keep it together

but when he glances down at your tired face

he can’t help but to give you a soft kiss once he’s finished with the song

whispers a small “goodnight” despite the fact that you were long gone

sunoo

agrees to do it immediately

still a tiny bit nervous bc he wants you to like his singing

as if you don’t compliment him on it everyday

he wants to impress you with his range so he chooses a mellow song

and works hard to make sure it sounds stable enough while laying down

and WOW does he do it

you can’t fall asleep bc his voice is just too pretty to sleep on

“why aren’t you asleep yet? was it bad. . ?”

you have to reassure him that it was just so pretty it kinda stunned you

yea he was happy + super cocky the next day

jungwon

teasing you like crazy

you asked early in the morning so you’re hearing about it all day

he won’t give you a clear answer until you’re both in the bed

and he wraps his arms and legs around you and starts humming

he found it endearing the moment you asked

but he also couldn’t pass down the perfect playful teasing opportunity

so he played it cool for the whole day and decided to surprise you at night

he gets a bit clingier when it’s time for bed anyway

you fall asleep to his soothing voice and he falls asleep to your steady breathing

niki

you actually wake up after a bad dream and ask him to do it

he gets shy and a bit insecure but agrees to do it anyway

make you face away from him so you can’t see his anxious expression

not like you’d be able to anyway it’s like 12 am w no lights on

starts with some singing but realizes his voice is raspy from just waking up

so he changes it to humming and gently caresses your arms + plays with your fingers

he wants to comfort you no matter what

so he’ll do it the best way he knows how

you made sure to shower him in compliments the moment he awoke

[shattered-catalyst]

Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

 Whomst can write it? 

Literally anyone as long as you 

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD? 

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum 

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts 

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 

Again for clarity's sake 

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 

OCD according to NIMH statistics 

1.2% Occurrence among US adults 

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism 

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

 Cyclops (Marvel)