#brb I need to find a hole to sit in for a while | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkczennie · 4 years

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Incubus | Ten (m)

Summary: According to urban myth, if you had sex in your dreams and it actually felt real, it means that negative entities are having sex with you while you sleep. You’re sex deprived, so a sex demon helps you with your little problem.

Pairings: incubus!Ten x female reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 4.1K

Disclaimer: This is just purely fiction and does not accurately represent how incubus’ work. Anyways, brb I think I need to go to church to purify my soul because this is just absolute smut.

Italics= inside the dreams

Quarantine has been rough for you.

At first, you didn’t think this would be a problem, but now it’s starting to take a toll on you because you’re slowly starting to lose it.

Because you are trying to follow quarantine guidelines and maintain as little physical interaction with others as much as possible in fear of contracting a deadly virus, you’ve become a little pent up. In other words, you haven’t been able to have sex in a while.

The last time you got intimate with another male was about almost a year ago. Who would have known this global pandemic situation would have happened because you took physical touch for granted. Had you known this was going to happen, you would have tried to fulfil your sexual needs when it was still socially acceptable to be around other people because you are just suffering at home right now.

Sleeping around with other men right now would probably not be a safe idea, especially since you live with your parents and would not want to risk their health over your needs. Besides, your parents temporarily forbid you to see any friends or bring anyone over until the situation is over anyways. You don’t blame them, after all, who knows where other people have been and who they have interacted with, so it’s only safe for everyone in the house to restrict human interaction for a moment except with people living under the same roof.

You try to convince yourself that you can wait until the pandemic is over, but as the days go by and days turn into many months, you’re absolutely touch starved. To be more precise, you’re sexually frustrated.

Masturbating has helped to a certain extent but it just wasn’t enough to satisfy you fully. You wanted to feel another man’s touch again.

In fact, you were so sexually frustrated that you began to experience having sex dreams.

The room was dark and it was empty except for your bed. You laid in bed on your back completely naked and your pussy was soaking wet as an attractive looking male hovers over you. You don’t recognize the man in front of you because it’s not a face you have seen in person before.

He had raven-black hair that covered his forehead, cat-like eyes, and flawless skin. The first few buttons of his black dress shirt were unbuttoned, practically exposing his chest, and you spot the number 10 tattooed by his heart. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to his wrists and his ears are covered in piercings. His pants were partially removed to only expose his dick and he rubs it against your slit, causing more wetness to secrete.

“Ahhhh-” you let out a long moan as he suddenly enters you in one fluid thrust thanks to your slick.

The initial pain of his girth stretching around your tight walls soon turned into pleasure after you were able to adjust to his size.

His hands were holding each side of your hips in place while his length begins to thrust into your heat. Your body feels hot and you became a whimpering mess as you allowed yourself to continue getting fucked in your dream, not from fear but from pleasure.

You don’t even know who the male is that is currently fucking you but your mind is so clouded with lust that you don’t even care as long as you get to reach your climax. It feels so good, even if it is just in a dream, that you didn’t even last long because after a few seconds you could already feel that tight knot in your stomach ready to snap.

After a few more thrusts, you both come undone and your body trembles at the feeling. It’s been way too long since you’ve been fucked and it feels amazing.

Soon, your mind slowly starts to wake up and your dream starts to slowly fade away.

Once your mind slowly becomes conscious, you could feel your heart currently thumping wildly in your chest and you are panting lightly, so you keep your eyes closed for a moment as you try to come down from your high.

Your eyes flutter open as you lay there in your bed and stare at the ceiling as your vision becomes less blurry, feeling slightly disheveled and there is this weird sensation between your legs. You rub your fingers against your clothed core and you jolt because you could feel it throbbing with oversensitivity.

Looks like you are going to have to change into a new pair of underwear because your current pair was completely damp from your little wet dream.

It was so strange because the dream felt so real considering the state you woke up in.

But lord, did it feel good. You felt somehow refreshed from getting some sort of action after many months, but also a little frustrated because it wasn’t enough and you wanted more.

If only you could go back to your dream on command. Curse dreams for feeling like it only lasts for a few seconds even though hours have actually passed by.

At first, you didn’t think much of it nor the male in your dream because it’s normal to have wet dreams occasionally...until it became a frequent occurrence.

The second time you had a sex dream was about a week later.

Just like last time, it was dark and you couldn’t see anything, but you were on your bed again with your ass up and face down.

You look behind your shoulder and you see him again, the same male from your previous sex dream in the exact same attire as well. This time, you can hear his sultry voice speaking. His voice was faint so you barely remember what his voice sounded like exactly, but you recall what he said:

“Are you ready?” he asks with a soothing tone.

“Yes,” you reply.

You suck in a breath when you feel a wet tongue swipe across your folds. Your toes curl and you spread your legs further apart as the man continues to eat you out. His tongue felt amazing against your dripping hole as he shoves the wet muscle deeper inside of you. He sure knows how to work his tongue on you as he plunges it into the deepest part of your slick walls.

You felt so filthy like this, completely exposed as an unknown male laps up your juices, but you could care less because you’re about to lose it when you feel two fingers rub against your clit. After all, this was just a dream.

Again, as you cum, your mind begins to slowly awaken and your dream fades to nothing once again.

This was your second wet dream in less than a month but having another sex dream should be nothing but a mere coincidence, you think to yourself. Right?

That is until you had another one. The third time you had a sex dream happens a couple days later.

Again, you see the same man but this time in a new position. He lays back comfortably on your bed while you hover over him, practically sitting naked on top of his dick sticking out of his pants.

“Ride me,” he commands as he strokes his hands on your thighs.

You place both hands on his chest and lift yourself up so your slit is directly above his cock before slowly sinking down on his length. You both throw your heads back as a moan escapes both your lips. He is buried deep inside you and you feel stuffed to the brim from his inches. Your warm cavern is tightly snug around his length and you could feel his dick twitching inside of you.

You begin to ride him at a slow pace before you pick up the pace and you’re in utter bliss when you find a steady rhythm to bounce on his cock. Your tits bounce as your body moves up and down.

The pattern repeats itself as you release around him.

It happens again a fourth time and you swear you keep seeing the same man as before from your previous dreams. This is starting to become a strange recurring dream.

Another thing that all of those dreams had in common is that they all felt oddly real. You do wake up with your clothes from the night before still on and your body seems untouched when you look in the mirror but why do you feel so spent?

You think you’re just sex deprived, that’s all. Besides, dreams are just your inner desires so maybe that explains why you are having all these sex dreams.

You don’t think it is necessary to see a doctor or a professional about your strange dreams considering it isn’t causing any harm to you, like sleep deprivation.

That night, you are on a video call with your close group of friends, catching up on what all of them have been doing during quarantine because your electronics are the only forms of communication you have with other people.

Eventually, you complain to them about the outrageous amounts of sex dreams you have been having lately and how the same man keeps appearing in those dreams. Sure, it’s normal to have dreams but when you have multiple sex dreams with the same male, it’s quite concerning.

“That is weird,” your male friend ponders.

“Is he hot?” your female friend giggles.

“Gorgeous,” you dreamily sigh in content. Honestly, it’s what makes the dream that much more enjoyable.

“I saw on Tik Tok, that if you have sex in your dreams and actually felt it, it means that a very negative entity called an incubus or succubus is stealing your sexual energy,” another friend informs the group.

You start to wonder if that was the explanation behind all your sex dreams lately.

“If they want my sexual energy, then they can come and have it because they sure are making me feel good in my dreams.” you joke and your friends all laugh.

Afterwards, the conversation drifts onto a different topic.

Little did you know that a negative entity was listening to you this whole time and his lips curled up into a sinister smile at your invitation. Looks like he will be seeing you again real soon once you have drifted off to slumber.

After your video call with your friends ended, you decide it was time to head to bed since it’s getting pretty late.

You didn’t have any dreams at all that day, until the day after.

Your dream was unusual today because you’re not in the middle of sex for once. You’re just standing in a dark room still fully clothed in your pajamas. It was still dark and there wasn’t anyone else in there with you, until suddenly, you see a figure emerge from the darkness approaching towards you.

It’s him again.

This was the man, or more like being, that has been the source of your pleasure, the exact same man that you’ve been seeing in your sex dreams, so now that he stands before you, you can’t help but stare.

The male’s sharp gaze sent chills down your spine but butterflies in your stomach as well because he is intimidatingly attractive. There was a dark aura surrounding him, yet you couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. His hands rest in his pants pockets and one side of his lips curl up into a sinister grin. He stops walking forward when he’s about a foot away from you.

“Hello, little one, it’s so nice to formally meet you,” the man greets.

You think you’re lucid dreaming because, for some reason, you feel yourself being able to control yourself in the dream as if you were conscious, so you decide to ask him a question that has been on your mind lately.

“Who are you?” you ask him.

“You can call me Ten,” he responds.

Your brows furrow as you try to rack your brain for any recollection of a man named Ten but nothing comes to mind. Maybe it’s a nickname he goes by?

“Do I know you?” you wonder.

“Not really, but we will be seeing each other much more often from now on.”

A chill runs down your spine at his seemingly threatening statement. What does he mean by seeing each other more often from now on?

“Am I still dreaming?” you ask yourself in a hushed tone.

“You are, technically,” he states with a slight tilt of his head. “Let’s just say we are both in your mind right now.”

“And why do I keep seeing you in my dreams?” You cross your arms over your chest.

Ten smirks, “That’s because I have the ability to enter your dreams.”

What? How is that even humanly possible to enter someone else’s dreams? Unless...he’s not human.

“Who-what are you?” you nervously question as you take one step back. You feel your heel come into contact with something behind you when you took a step back but you did not turn around to look in fear of Ten doing something to you once you have your guard down.

“I’m an incubus.” he announces.

Your eyes widen like saucers at him. He’s an incubus?

You have a vague knowledge about incubus’, but you know one thing for sure is that they are sex demons. That would explain how he has the ability to enter your dreams and the eerie atmosphere around him.

Despite the daunting feeling surrounding him, his appearance does not seem like what you would picture an incubus to look like. You were expecting some horns on his head and maybe some wings, but that’s just what you assumed based on nonfiction novels and interpretations from movies depicting demons.

“You don’t look like an incubus to me,” you raise an eyebrow at him as you eye his human body up and down. You’re not sure if he is just playing around or being truthful.

“Oh, you do not want to see my demon form. Trust me,” he warns. “We have the ability to alter our appearance to take on different forms that our partners would be attracted to.”

You raise your eyebrow at him but take his word for it. After all, who knows what he would look like in his true form.

Besides, he does look absolutely captivating in his current form that you would ogle over him if you could. You’re not sure how Ten knew what attributes you were attracted to, but you assume it’s probably his demon powers, you conclude since he can shape shift, that gives him the ability to access this knowledge of yours.

Now the bigger question is what does he want with you? Did you accidentally summon a supernatural entity without your knowledge? You don’t remember doing anything out of the ordinary so you don’t know why he is here and what his purpose is with you.

“Are you going to kill me?” you ask.

“Oh, no no no, I have no desire to kill you. You see, as a sex demon, I thrive by consuming sexual energy from human beings in their sleep,” he elaborates. “And you, little one, you’re so sex-deprived that any sex demon could smell you from a mile radius,” he jokes with a chuckle, “You might as well have ‘fuck me’ labeled on your forehead.”

Because you are not that knowledgeable about incubus’ and succubus’, you didn’t know being sex-deprived could release a smell that could attract sex demons.

“There are more sex demons?” you curiously ask.

“Of course. There are practically hundreds of them on Earth. I’m the tenth one in existence.” Ten gestures to the mark on his chest, the number 10. And here you were thinking it was a tattoo.

“Why are you telling me all this?” you wonder.

Ten casually shrugs. “I know you’re probably curious as to why you keep seeing me in your dreams. Besides, people might just think you’re crazy if you go around saying an incubus is haunting your dreams, so I’m not worried about you exposing me. But if you do try to do anything against me, just know I have the ability to erase your memories of your dreams.” He brings his hand up to present him in a ready position to snap his fingers. “Understood?”

You hesitantly nod in understanding.

“So, how are you going to take my ‘sexual energy’?” you ask, putting quotation marks around sexual energy since you can’t see it but apparently he wants it from you.

The demon’s eyes glow a crimson red before he opens his mouth and says, “By fucking you.”

Your eyes widen from the sudden change of colors in his irises, but then you feel pink tint your cheeks at his bold statement.

“W-what?” you squeak out.

“You want to have sex and I want your sexual energy. I can satisfy that desire for you but I get to take your sexual energy. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. Besides, didn’t you say to your friends that one night that I can take your sexual energy since I make you feel good?”

You did.

Ten was staring deeply into your eyes with such intensity that you feel like a defenseless rabbit about to be eaten by a starving wolf. You gulp and sink under his devouring gaze as you feel wetness slowly pooling in your panties. Why were you actually getting turned on from this?

“There is sooo much desire and arousal radiating off of you. It’s so intoxicating. So delicious,” the demon says, stretching out the word ‘so’. His tone is dripping with want and he licks his lips to emphasize his hunger for you as he stares into your eyes.

“What do you say?” he asks with a raised brow.

You don’t know what possessed your body at that moment but you actually nod, accepting his proposal and he smiles wickedly.

It’s almost embarrassing how fast you are willing to obey to his commands even though a logical person would probably run or scream at the presence of an evil entity. But your brain does not even register anything other than your lustful desire for Ten.

You gasp when he backs you up and you trip backwards into the bed where the demon’s body hovers over you as you lay under him.

Ten brings one hand to a breast where your nipples are erect and protruding against your thin pajama shirt. You whimper when you feel his fingers brush against your nub.

With a snap of his fingers, your clothes suddenly disappeared. He licks a stripe up your neck, next your collarbone, and then the valley between your breasts, causing goosebumps to form all over your body as his wet tongue swipes against your skin as if he’s trying to taste you.

You bite your bottom lip when he rubs two fingers against your folds.

“Holy shit, I barely touched you and you’re already this wet for me? How dirty” he smirks and he’s not wrong.

Maybe he was using some sort of spell or had the ability to hypnotize you, because you want him so badly right now.

He latches his mouth onto your nipple to suck on it and shoves two fingers past your folds, causing you to elicit a string of moans at the sudden intrusion. You grip onto the blanket when he inserts his digits in and out of you, hearing the squelching noises your pussy was making. Then, he begins to release his cock using his free hand from the confines of his pants and he pumps it a few times in his hand before positioning it at your entrance.

“W-wait, shouldn’t you put on a condom or something?” you panic.

“Relax, you won’t get pregnant if I cum inside of you.” he states. “I’m a sex demon, I can’t reproduce. Besides, I’ve already come inside you multiple times before.”

“I thought it was just a dream,” you mutter, embarrassed.

“We’ll then, let’s pretend like it is a dream and not worry about the consequences of your actions in your dreams,” he suggests.

Ten removes his fingers from inside of you and replaces it with his length.

“Don’t hold back. I want to hear you,” he growls.

He pushes through your folds and you practically mewl at the penetration. Your nails practically dig into the blankets as he completely bottoms out inside of you. Once you were adjusted to his size, he starts his thrusts off slow but hard. As soon as you tell Ten to go faster, he practically pounds into you without any mercy and you gasp. He throws your legs over his shoulder to reach a deeper angle and it sends you over the edge.

“Yes, feels so good-ah,” you chant as he continues to pound into your throbbing pussy with his harsh pace.

Ten is hitting the deepest parts of you and you’re a moaning mess when the pace becomes faster and faster. The unknown male hits your g spot and a rush of pleasure courses through your body as you make sure he continues to abuse that particular spot.

“There! Oh fuck-” you practically scream.

This is wrong on so many levels because you are literally having sexual intercourse with a demon, yet why does it feel so incredibly good? You feel like you’re committing some kind of sin being so intimate with what is supposed to be a negative entity, but your mind is too preoccupied with lust to even comprehend that rational thought.

You chant Ten’s name like a mantra as you near your orgasm which only fuels said man’s ego because he knows no one will ever fuck you as good as he does.

“That’s right, baby. That’s right,” he grunts as he feeds off your pleasure. The more intense the sex is and the closer you get to your orgasm, the more sexual energy you release.

You feel his thrusts becoming harsher and his grip is leaving crescent-shaped marks and bruises on your thighs but you are too focused on chasing your own high to notice he is slowly becoming stronger and stronger from taking in your overwhelming amount of sexual energy.

In fact, you think his cock is actually getting bigger inside of you too but that thought is cut short when he suddenly slaps your ass cheek, causing you to yelp at the pain as the sound echoes the room.

Ten laughs at your reaction as he continues to ram inside of you at an inhumane pace and all you two can hear are the sounds of moans, bed creaking, and skin slapping against skin.

Your walls start to clench erratically around his length because you’re close. So fucking close.

Ten is close too because his breathing becomes harsher and his thrusts are becoming more uneven.

“Cumming. Ten. I’m cumming.” You announce.

Soon, you release a silent scream as you come undone and climax around his cock. Ten groans and soon comes afterwards, spilling his cum deep inside of you and painting your walls white.

Both of you just stay in your positions trying to catch your breaths while Ten is still inside of you. You are both covered in a light layer of sweat from your little activity and the place reeks of sex.

Soon, Ten pulls out of your abused hole and his seeds slowly leak out of your abused cunt.

Ten snaps his fingers and next thing you know you’re fully clothed and the mess he released inside you was gone, like nothing ever happened. Ten was fully dressed again, minus the two undone buttons, and the sweat from his body was gone.

“I’ll come back for you, little one,” he whispers and winks at you.

Suddenly, your alarm rings and you jolt awake. You look around your room, but nobody was in there except you. Then you look down to see you were still in your pajamas.

You sit up from your bed and rush over to examine your appearance in the closet mirror but nothing looks out of the ordinary, just some bed hair but that’s about it. After examining your entire body but finding nothing, you crawl back to bed and begin to think of Ten and his words.

I’ll come back for you, little one.

“Wow,” you whisper in a daze.

Was that all real or just an intense dream? Honestly, you couldn’t believe it because it felt like a straight up fantasy.

Having sex with an incubus was on a whole new level of euphoria. But then again, they are sex demons for a reason. So many dirty thoughts are running through your head as you fantasize over Ten.

Regardless of whether Ten really was an incubus having sex with you to steal your energy or just a dream, you couldn’t wait to see him in your dreams again to satisfy your fantasies.

#nct smut #ten smut #nct fanfic #nct scenarios

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possum-rat · 3 years

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brb fighting ✨GOD✨

the all too familiar feeling of being teleported to a new server never fails to make (Y/n) slightly nauseous. As their feet land firmly on solid ground they look up at the sky and smile slightly. Walking deeper into the forest they crouch as to not injure their face further. Realizing they haven't actually seen the injury they stop at a small clear pool. "The hood is up. That's why Eret didn't comment. Oh." Pulling down the hood they wince at the large bandage covering most of their cheek and part of their eye along with some of their neck.

getting up from their spot on the bank they see the distant silhouette of Philza.

"DADZA." The voices begin chanting along with more thought you know the gist. Arson, Women, Women in suits, Killing men...ANYWAY. As (y/n) walks toward their house they freeze at the small box while Philza stands infront of it confused. "Crap." They whisper as they slip past Philza and look into the large wooden crate.

A small chest lies within it. (Y/n) glances toward Philza confused. Before opening the chest they turn to look at Philza. He nods in confirmation. As (Y/n) opens the chest theirs a map. The map is blank part from a messily scrawled 2 words:

Dream SMP

(Y/n) bids Philza farewell before returning to the blank room and letting the portal take them back. They see the faint broken outline of the SMP as they float down toward spawn. Eret's castle, Tommy's dirt enterprises along with his "Power tower" Purpled's UFO they begin to blur into one massive blob of color. (Y/n) eventually feels the firm solid unmoving ground under their feet.

as Y/n glances at the map again it changes. A red X over a spot. With the words "Make house here" frowning but obliging to the paper's request (Y/n) begins hiking toward the location. As they come to a large stream of water spanning as far as the eye can see (Y/n) pulls out the map again and grins as it says "Railway." With a set of numbers-Quardinints. Eventually (Y/n) finds a button leading to the railway. As they press it they wait before yelping as the ground suddenly gives way.

It's never a great feeling slamming into water from a large distance but non less (Y/n) is grateful for not you know...Dying. As they look around the old seeming to be Mineshaft they see that the Railway is still intact. There's a chest beside the railway. Bending down toward the chest and whipping the dust and grime from the top they freeze.

a harsh echoing voice demands "WHO'S HERE."

(Y/n) stands up and pulling out a potion of Night vision they uncork the bottle before drinking. Rolling up their sleeves they remain silent. "HELLO? I KNOW YOU'RE THERE." The voice roars dementedly. "Hello?" (Y/n) replies. 'man. I swear to god if this is god I will throw hands. Like on sight.' They think as a floating figure emerges from the blackness. A glowing seam of orange against the black of the mineshaft,

eventually, a figure comes into view.

Black coveralls layered with enchanted Netherite (probably heavy enchantment) instead of the normal purple glow is replaced by an orange glow. A bronze orange hood up covering their hair. A black mask covering his face with a glowing orange pair of eyes and a jagged smile painted on crudity.

in the world chat, three words appear

<Nightmare>Has joined the game.

(Y/n) frowns and lifts their hands in surrender. "Mortal. You dare venture into my land?" (Y/n) knows they can't possibly fight and win against a man who seems to be floating in all neitherite, so naturally, they decide to do something more drastic. "Nightmare. Could you possibly take off your Netherite armor? I mean if you want to fight sure, fine. I won't use my potions, you take off your armor and allow yourself to take damage. Just hand-to-hand combat. Nothing more nothing less." They murmur as they bend down to the chest placing all their supplies neatly inside. Nightmare asks in his echoing demented voice. "Fight to the death. You win you can continue on your way." (Y/n) hesitates as the other floats toward her before landing on the ground and placing his armor into the chest before standing up and stretching.

As the two back up (Y/n) crouches slightly before typing in the chat:

<Y/n> Lol fighting god rn wish me luck lol <3

Nightmare's masks expression turns to one of amusement. "Mortal. What are you doing. Stalling?" (Y/n) shrugs before pulling their hair up making it easier for them to see. As Nightmare easily jumps atop of the chest he turns toward the small beam of wood above (Y/n) jumping toward it he swings slamming the heals of his feet into the space between their rib and stomach.

(Y/n) slams toward the ground feeling out of breath already. As Nightmare stands above them and asks "losing your breath already mortal? Give up. It'll be best." (Y/n) coughs and jerks up sending their arm into Nightmares gut. Before backing up and turning sideways to limit the amount of injury to their healing burns. Hands up they step up pulling their left leg up and toward their stomach before shooting it into Nightmares gut.

Nightmare sucks in a deep breath before pulling his arm back. As his fist slams into (y/n) jaw they can't help but Yelp at the pain that flourishes from the burnt area. Their expression turns from amusement to annoyance, as they step forward quickly and raise their fist before sending it into his mask. A loud crunch echos through the tunnel before (y/n) steps back and sends another punch, then another before Nightmare grabs (Y/n's) arm and hoisting them by one arm into the air then throwing them, as if they were a rag doll to the ground.

A crack in his mask reveals a greenish eye. (Y/n) doesn't register as a gloved fist smashes into their eye and nose until their eyes begin to water. as they scoot back on their hands and feet, they feel their heart begin to slam against their chest as if it were trying to escape.

"I can hear your heart beating Mortal. You're scared." Nightmare growls. "Yeah no shit sherlock. Obvuisly am. I mean" (y/n) stands up and Wipes their cupid bow with their hand before continuing. "if you're going to do the whole "Kill me with a fight to the death" can you speed up a little? like bruh, come on. I'm literally going to die anyway."

the jagged smile turns to an expression of worry. "Mortal? are you okay?" he asks. (y/n) grins and sends their foot into his gut before He holds up a hand and snaps.

(Y/n) yelps as they begin to fall. Slamming onto the ground infront of Tommy. "WELL, YOU DONT ALLOW SHIT BITCH. Oh hey (y/n)!" Tubbo states happily. (Y/n) coughs and proceeds to sit down. From across the room, George sends a confused look toward (Y/n). To which (Y/n) grumbles "Jesus Christ can't a kid fall from the sky in peace?" They eventually drift off into a daydream about...Honestly, who knows what- but Possoms Raccoons and Ghostly Saytar's were involved.

Eventually growing bored of the arguing (Y/n) stands up and slams their hands upon the podium lectern thing beside Wilbur.

"Jesus Christ. This debate sounds like two toddlers arguing over a fucking toy. please grow up, this is a whole ass nation not some fucking toy." They growl as small dark Smokey grey particles erupt around them. Their normally (E/C) eyes now pitch black apart from a small pinpoint of (E/c).

"(Y/n)? What the- are you feeling okay?" Tommy asks from beside them. They turn toward him and nod. "I'll go get some fresh air or some shit." They mumble as they exit the courthouse pulling out their map yet again and following the directions before eventually coming to the railway. As they open the chest they notice that inside is a totem of undying a wolf egg along with a bone and a brewing stand along with an enchantment table with a few bottles of Enchantment. In addition to the stuff, they had left in beforehand. Frowning slightly they hesitate before taking the supplies.

a rail cart is already in place on the tracks.

As (y/n) boards the cart pulling a lever beside the tracks the cart shoots off shaking slightly. But in a soothing manner, like the kind that reminds you of a swing. Eventually (y/n) comes out of the mine and shoots up a hill. As they clutch the sides of the cart they gaze out in wonder at the view. Tall orange-yellow and reddish foliage growing on oak and birch trees surround the vast expanse of unmarked land. Smiling slightly (Y/n) gazes out before realizing that there happens to be a village not far from near the top of the mountain that they were on.

as the cart screeches to a halt (Y/n) grabs a spare chest from their inventory before placing the mine cart inside. As the sun begins to set (y/n) gazes out at the view before summoning a few unlit torches and placing them where needed.

As the sun finally dips out of sight (Y/n) sets to work. As they dig a hole into the side of the mountain they scan the expanse. "Should it be bigger?" They wonder aloud. A voice replies "I'm thinking maybe another two or three feet on the left wall?" Snapping their neck toward the sound.

Purpled leans against the rugged wall intensely gazing at the room. "Sorry don't mean to interrupt or anything but could I get a potion or two?" as he stands up brushing the small crumbs(is crumbs the right word?) of dust and rubble off his shoulders. Frowning slightly (Y/n) stares at him taking in his black jeans, once dark indigo now a lighter hoodie underneath enchanted netherite. As they meet his amethyst eyes they reply slowly "Depends on what kind you're asking." They reply a grin spreading across their face.

----

"Purpled pass me the golden carrot." (Y/n) states as they stare at the bubbling yellow mixture. Black bandana and goggles covering their face they turn toward the boy. As he hands the carrot to (Y/n) they wheeze at the size difference. In purpled's hand, it's normal-sized, but once in (y/n's) hand, it's about a little more than 3/4 of the original size. Purpled notices and snorts "Yeah. That's because you're a giant, dumbass."

(Y/n) drops the carrot into the mixture face over the stand as a plume of smoke shoots out. "Yeah. Well, it's not my fault." They cough as they pull off the goggles leaving a ring around their eyes like a raccoon.

"Why'd you need a night vision anyway? Stargazing?" (Y/n) continues. As Purpled nods (y/n) nods and says "Here, I'll make you another just cuz. No charge or whatever." As they pour the translucent dark periwinkle liquid into 3 viles they grab another before handing the three to him and pouring more into the 4th.

As Purpled begins to head out (Y/n) says quietly "Mind keeping my house a secret? I mean...I don't want any of my shit stolen. I can give you more potions when you need?" Purpled nods waving as he leaves.

---

Returning to the task at hand (Y/n) stares at the dark oak walls frowning slightly. It seemed to...empty. As (Y/n) scans the walls they smack their forehead. Running to one of the walls they rummage through the chest bringing out a painting they had painted months prior.

By the time they take a break to grab something to eat it's around 4 am. Grinning wildly they turn toward the entrance frowning. A gaping hole and no mobs? As they jog toward the entrance they see what was going on. Skeletons. Hordes of them protecting the entrance.

"MmmhBruhhhhhhhh." They groan "Y'all you don't have tooooo. But thanksss." They turn toward the door and grab Redstone and pistons.

By the time they finish the door their eyes are growing heavy. "I'll just" they yawn "I'll just take a small break here." They murmur as they curl up on the soft grass. The stars lulling them softly to sleep. “i’ll check the map...check in the morni’g” they finally finish

#mcyt x reader #(y/n)#g!n #purpled #quackity

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what-a-messsss · 4 years

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1x7 rewatch

Ah yes, seeing Henry actually happy. What a concept. (Taking a moment to cryyyy forever, brb.)

And then we cut to the only 20 seconds we ever see of Vic and Sean actually enjoying being around each other, in any way, befooooore, yep, here comes Walt to ruin the day. Drunk Walt. Jackass.

Although I do appreciate that other than a brief startle at Vic being so blunt about the fact that she and her husband were having sex, Ruby is totally unflappable. Ruby is the actual best.

Those bangs are cute and I like them a lot better than the later seasons’ hair style for Vic. Which clearly matters deeply. She just blasts in there and is rude to Henry (shocking, truly, as she’s usually so cordial and polite) but his aaaah, of course response to her saying that she’d gotten a call that there was a situation. Because he has known Walt for most of four decades, and yup. And 1) that is absolutely the kind of shit that he would pull and 2) Walt is a situation.

And while I fully admit that Vic just rubs me the wrong way, I do admire her restraint for not just junkpunching him right there.

Holy hell, is that a Chihuly piece in their window??

I think it frickin’ IS. That glass sculpture is ...holy shit, these people are rich. For context, this 5′x5′ piece is for sale for $150k.

That red piece is a full chandelier. That’s, pfft, I don’t know, probably anywhere from $100k to, hell, I don’t know, close to a million if it is the real deal? Frick. (Now that I just went down a 20 minute rabbit hole trying to figure out the broad price range of Chihuly pieces... back to the ep, I guess. I’m still only 3:30 into the ep. Oops.)

Rodeo riders... wait, is this the ep when we first meet Travis? I thought it was later, somehow. We’ll see.

Omgs, Bob. You absolute disaster.

Sean’s big, confident pickup truck. There certainly are some wonderful touches in this show that are delightful bits of characterization without any lines. They do some great “show, don’t tell” things. Like Sean’s hyooj truck, and the back of Bob’s clown suspenders being twisted around once behind his back as they sit on Walt’s tailgate. He’s just such a frickin’ mess, but somehow kind of childlike, too. He’s obnoxious, but has tiny flashes of being charming, and that’s down to the actor and all of the crew who helped get these little details in there.

“Buckle Bunny” Ugh. What a term. What a charmer Levi is. Blegh.

Oh looooord, I had repressed forgotten about Lizzie. She’s not really bad or anything, but yeeeeeesh, it’s just so cringe. I hope she finds somebody nice. She actually seems really sweet, if pretty desperate. (But why does that read as “desperate” from a woman, where from a man it would be read as bold or aggressive, or something else that has a more positive connotation? Yikes, there’s some baked-in misogyny to break down and hopefully eradicate. Thanks, society.)

And then Vic smacks Walt ?on the ass??? when he gets to the top of the stairs? Baaahahahaa, the look on her face just after she does is glorious.

Oh Ferg, you’re kind of a lump in S1. I’m very fond of you, and I’m glad that you did actually get character growth, but you sure did start off with plenty of room to grow.

Barlow, you piece of shit.

Aaaaaahahahaha, I forgot about the scene with Henry, “It is what it is,” and the hot shot. That has got to be my favourite scene in the first season, if not most of the whole show. It is delightful. Henry being wonderful, Henry calling out Walt’s bs, Walt getting shocked and making that hilarious face... what more could I possibly want?

Barlow is quite satisfying to hate. He’s such a POS. Isn’t it suuuuch a pity that the line ends with him. Such a pity.

Henry is so pretty. Just, genuinely, unfairly attractive.

Dang it, I think I’m getting invested in coming up with a headcanon for someone to end up with Lizzie. I do not need more feels about this damn show. I don’t.

#Longmire #Ruby is the actual best #spoilers #spoilers for the whole show probably #episode commentary

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shirtlesssammy · 5 years

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7x13: The Slice Girls

Welcome to our last episode before hiatus is over. We’re knocking out another Buckleming episode. Natasha has some strong words at the end. Buckleming are the worst.

Then:

Oh, yeah, Bobby died, and I never watched that episode again

Now:

A white man™ sits quietly at his computer at home one night. He hears a noise and suddenly he’s getting sliced and diced in good old cold open fashion.

Sam and Dean are on the road. Sam’s driving so Dean can indulge in his “coping through season 7 juice”. He saved Bobby’s flask and we all know ghosts can’t inhabit personal items, *cough* *cough*. Anyway, Dean’s drinking his way through his grief and Sam’s working cases his way through his grief.

They head to the coroner that holds the cold open victim. AND, I’m sorry, but is Dean flirting with the coroner? I rarely rewatch Buckleming so when I find these forgotten moments in the wild I’m taken aback. I thought I knew the full extent of Dean’s little world, but wow, apparently not.

They learn that all the victims are male and there’s weird ritualistic mutilation with the bodies after they are dead. And any DNA from potential suspects doesn’t match anything human.

After the morgue, Sam wants to do more research, and Dean needs to blow off some steam. He decides to go undercover.

Later at a bar (It’s a fancy bar and Dean’s wearing his suit, so not like Dean), he chitchats with a woman (he’s an investment banker who speaks minimal Japanese) and she’s into it so she invites him back to her place.

While Dean works through his coroner frustration, the show intercuts it with another man’s murder. Bravo on the editing.

The next morning, the brothers head to the latest crime scene. Dean asks Sam if he made any headway on the symbol. “We’re gonna need an expert.” “Expert? Our expert’s dead.” OMG. OUCH.

At the crime scene, a friend of the victim’s stops by and Sam asks him some questions. It turns out the victim cheated on his wife a couple nights prior. The neighbor insists the wife wouldn’t have harmed her husband though. Also, whoever has been killing these men were big and strong.

It’s at this moment that Dean realizes that he forgot his flask at Lydia’s (his workout buddy from the prior night). He calls her but she hasn’t seen the flask and she hangs up.

She’s pretty busy at the moment --being really pregnant!

Cut to later at a very dangerous birthing session (way too many candles), Lydia is told that the “pain is an honor” and I’m not a mother but that is SOME bullshit there. Anyway, she has a healthy 3-4 month old baby she’s told to name Emma.

Sam and Dean head to interview the mayor of Sunnydale a professor with some knowledge on the sigil carved on the men. He wants money before he’ll talk. They pull the FBI card and tell him that they’ll put in a good word with the IRS and they want answers by tomorrow.

Dean is missing Bobby after that little exchange so he decides to head to Lydia’s to get his flask.

Lydia’s surprised to see him. Dean really needs that flask. She goes to get it and he follows her inside. He finds a baby (at least 12 months old?) and Lydia admits that it’s hers. Dean Bean goes into the room to see the baby closer (brb, off to read a few hundred domestic Destiel AUs to fill this giant hole my heart.)

Dean’s phone rings and it’s Sam. While he’s on the phone with him, Dean hears the baby and Lydia talk. Uh…

Sam heads to inspect the latest vic alone. He finds out a lot of the victims visited the same bar Dean was at a couple nights ago.

Dean’s staking out Lydia’s place, and watches as the women present at Emma’s birth arrive.

Sam calls and gives him grief for obsessing over the woman. Dean thinks there’s something strange going on and he’ll tell Sam when he figures it out. Sam tells him about the bar but Dean hangs up on him as Lydia’s door opens again. The women all emerge with what appears to be a 8 year old girl. Dean can’t believe what he’s seeing. “I hate when this happens.” Yes, fathering a monster baby is a bitch, Dean. He follows the women into a back alley warehouse.

Dean prowls down an alley, following the car full of women. (Hey, that sentence came out really creepy.) The women disappear into an unmarked building.

Later, Dean briefs Sam on the situation. There was nothing that screamed “baby” to him when he was at Lydia’s earlier. Now, Emma’s an elementary-school-aged kid, to all appearances. He’s suspicious.

Sam thoroughly mocks Dean for feeling like something’s off with Lydia and Emma. The professor calls, interrupting their conversation. He’s got info!

At their mysterious destination, five young (but slightly older) girls are offered pieces of raw (presumably) human meat and big ol’ glasses of milk. Yum! They’re instructed to complete their “blood missions.” Emma is hesitant to eat the meat. (And who can blame her? Blech.)

At the university, the “I’m super busy don’t talk to me” professor has managed to create a whole slideshow for the boys, who settle into one of the middle rows to watch.

The symbol is Greek. It’s a combination that symbolizes Harmonia and Eres, a goddess and god who begat the Amazons. The professor disparages the cartoon version of Amazons: Wonder Woman (them’s fightin’ words!). He describes Amazons as having little use for men. They procreate, then kill the male, cutting off several body parts.

Elsewhere, the head detective holds a hissing phone call with the head Amazon. It turns out that they’re buddies. They know that Dean and Sam are giant fakers and more than that, they suspect they’re hunters.

Back at their current hotel HQ, Dean digs through Bobby’s dusty old books and drinks from his flask. Sam info-dumps more lore. The Amazons were nearly decimated and bargained for Harmonia’s gift to grow their ranks. She made it so they mate, give birth in a few days, and then the child is mature in just a handful more. Dean realizes that he’s now a father, just as Sam grasps that as well. Use birth control, kids!

Back with the Amazons in training, they’re lectured about joining the ranks of the other women and branded with the symbol on their wrist.

Sam summarizes all their victims as rich, successful businessmen - perfect for the Amazons’ gene pool. (REALLY is that the mark of “good” DNA? Really??? Fuck that. There’s so much wrong here I could write a whole damn book on it.) Sam wants to know why Dean got picked. Dean confesses that he pretended to be an investment banker. While Sam judges Dean heavily, papers move mysteriously in the room, exposing a single sheet. Sam pulls out the EMF and it wails at him. Skeptic Sammy points out power lines and a breezy window. Dean thinks it’s Bobby’s ghost.

Sam picks up the exposed paper, written in Greek, and brings it to the professor to read. Meanwhile, Dean stays where he is, holed up in their room when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Emma! She tells him that she needs his help and that she knows she can trust him because he’s her father.

Dean’s on guard, but Emma says that she was trapped with the rest of the Amazons and ordered to do terrible things. There are tears in her eyes as she describes getting branded. Dean quietly lets her in.

Emma asks for Dean’s help to leave town. “I know you don’t want me,” she tells him. (I throw a rotten banana at the screen. How DARE this show.) She begs for his help in finding normalcy.

The professor - who is doing some really LATE office hours - excitedly tells Sam that the Amazon child is meant to kill the father, not the mothers.

As Sam leaves the university, the detective from earlier stops him with a single, very strong hand. He notices her Amazon brand and she calls him by name - she knows she’s a hunter. She hurls Sam down the stairs and pulls out a sword, but Sam whips out his gun and shoots her in the chest before she can kill him. So apparently a bullet works just fine.

Emma continues to make a case for freedom. When she says she’s hungry, Dean heads over to check out the fridge.

Emma pulls out her Amazon blade while Dean’s back is turned and Dean whirls around and confronts her with a gun. Emma argues that it’s her place to kill him. Furthermore, she calls Dean on his hesitation - he won’t kill her. “You haven’t killed anybody yet, Emma. Walk away,” Dean pleads.

Emma says she doesn’t have a choice just before Sam breaks in and points a gun at Emma. She flashes him a shine of smug monster-face before pleading with Dean, one more time, to help her. Sam shoots her and kills her while Dean looks on in horror.

A little while later, Dean and Sam sneak into the old building Dean tracked the Amazons to. It’s abandoned.

They drive away to the next case. Dean acts optimistic: they’ll find those sneaky Amazons and kill ‘em dead next time. Instead of rallying, Sam goes off on Dean, shouting at him about his hesitation in killing Emma. “She was not yours. Not really.”

Dean smiles mirthlessly. She was his child, even if she wasn’t his daughter.

Sam (in a thoroughly OOC way, in my opinion) blows right past this enormous minefield of emotion to tell Dean that he’s off his game. First losing Cas, then Bobby have sent Dean into a tailspin. Sam caps off his inspiring speech with “Don’t get killed.” Thanks, Sam. Good talk.

Natasha: Hi, hello, I HATE this episode. Dean’s lost Cas and Bobby and then this show has the GALL to lob a child at Dean and then CHIDE HIM for not wanting to kill her. Meanwhile, Sam belittles Dean’s hesitation and parallels it to the necessity of his friend Amy’s death. Do you know how dirty and awful I feel every time I think about Amy’s death? DO YOU? And she’d actually killed multiple people by then. We never talk about that one time Dean accidentally fathered a child and Sam killed her mid-conversation, and I can only assume this remains a deep and terrible scar on their souls. I’d forgotten the “breeding” detail but that paired with casting choices make this episode a big pile of YUCK for me.

______________________________

Quotazons:

“Didn’t match anything human” usually seals the deal for me

Nice decor. Very early slaughterhouse

It's a flask, not the holy grail

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 7x13 #the slice girls #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 7

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fictionerd · 6 years

Text

GOOD. TO. SEE. YOU. FRIENDS!!!

Here we are! The first post of Summer Season 2018 and we’ll be covering Planet With. This series is released on Sundays and can be watched on Crunchyroll.

Okay, so let’s cover what we learn from the first two episodes of Planet With.

In episode one we’re introduced to Souya, a young amnesiac who dreams of horrifying giant draconic creature attacking a city and some one flying off to confront it. See it’s shit like this that causes dragons to have a bad reputation. Seriously I can’t believe these assholes who go around burning whatever the hell they want just because they can breath fire. If it weren’t for them dimensional travel wouldn’t be such a daunting prospect for me. I never know when some one is going to have a traumatic flashback and attack me all because some scaley clown got it into their head to “burninate” something.

Sorry, I’m digressing again. After waking up from his ptsdream Souya prepares to have a normal breakfast with his perfectly normal housemates of a large cat-person and green-haired maid.

Oh wait... My bad. See I’m used to hanging out with a Teddy-Bear whisperer with the ability to access the life’s memory of a version of herself in any given universe, an elf who ONLY exists in the metaverse of the Akashic Record, and most recently a shadow-monster who spent three months pretending to be Swole-Bear. There was also that time I tried to hang out with a copy of a video game character, but we’re not considering that canon anymore. At least not entirely for legal reasons. Oh! There’s also the British man who tears holes in dimensions to fight against “unfair fates” who I’m apparently hosting a podcast with now? My point being that to me the above image is perfectly normal. To most anyone else this is probably at least a three on the Sir Memery WTF chart.

After finishing his veggie breakfast Souya sets off for school complaining about wanting to eat some meat where he bumps into his class rep whose name he has forgotten. You’d think this is just an excuse to set up Tsundere vibes with her, but no it’s far FAR worse than that. See her name is: Kagaratamaha? [wrong buzzer] Hakatamagara? [wrong buzzer] Ta-ka-ma-ga-ha-ra? [Correct Tone]

So Nickname Pending is worried about Souya and how he doesn’t make friends at his new school. This is because she knows what it’s like to be the new kid, and has apparently never watched an anime in her life so she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of “Leave the mysterious blue-haired transfer alone”.

Side Note: This character’s introduction marks the first time I’ve ever gotten a Japanese pun without some one explaining it to me. So allow me to ruin it for you all by explaining it. She offers Souya some of her Hamburger Steak to which he replies with tears of join “Megane-sama” which she mishears as “Megami-sama” and sheepishly replies that she doesn’t think she’s a goddess before immediately realizing what he’d actually said. This leads into the reveal of her actual name which I refuse to ever use the entirety of again because I honestly don’t think the joke is that funny.

Later that day Souya’s shounen receptors begin to tingle as he picks up on the impending conflict of the story. A UFO is sighted offshore headed towards the city. When the air-force is deployed to deal with the object (Picture in header) they find themselves the victim of some strange joyous delusion and leave the object alone. it’s only when seven strange people, apparently psychics of some kind, utilize their powers to confront it is it stopped. We see one of these people enter the object through a “Weak Point” and have his own delusion.

See, his mother was killed in a fire when he was a little boy causing him to become a firefighter. The UFO hits his brain with a delusion of child him being held back from the blaze by a firefighter only for that firefighter to turn out to be adult him. Adult Firefighter Psychic dude runs into the fire, saves his mom, and the two of them walk through the cherry blossoms as he sorts through all the pent up regrets he has about not being able to save her when he was a kid. Only after we’ve conveniently gotten to know this character’s defining trauma does his squad get through to him and break the delusion, then he uses his Psychic Golem Powers to wreck the hell out of the UFO causing it and copies of it that had appeared around the world to disappear all at once. The same can be said for the Psychics who all blast off to separate places to avoid the fate of E.T. one presumes

While all this was going on Souya got a call from Ginko (That’s green-haired maid lady for those not following the series who also don’t care about spoilers). She tells Souya that he has to defeat “it”, but contrary to what everyone in the audience thinks it turns out that “it” refers to one of the Psychics and not the UFO thing. After Ex-Firefighter current world-saver exits the bushes onto a highway he encounters Souya the cat-man and Ginko. Souya is sporting a mask and being basically lead by the nose at the behest of Catman and Ginko. Now hold onto your seats because this is where shit gets REALLY weird.

Catman swallows Souya turning into a mech in the process that Souya is now piloting. They get into a fight with Firefighter dude who summons up his psychic golem thing. After fumbling around at Ginko’s direction Souya manages to pilot the Catmech to victory over Psychic Fireman and retrieves a vial of star-shaped dust that is the “source of his power”. At which point I’m lead to believe that Souya recovered his memories because he shouts at Firefighter to tell his friends that Souya is going to kick their collective asses. This is presumably because he believes them to be behind his ptsdream.

After the credits roll we see a scene where a guy I can only describe a scruffy Alder from Pokemon Gen 5 says ominously that Firefighter dude had been taken out.

So, before even watching episode two I can already hands-down predict that this guy is the Draconic asshole from Souya’s ptsdream. Not sure how everything fits together but my working theory is that Souya’s from another planet that Earth governments or some shadowy organization somehow invaded and stole something from. Souya is a sleeper agent and the “Peas” balloon things are meant to lure out those in possession of the Stolen Macguffin or whatever.

There we have Episode One. Please excuse me now while I go watch Episode Two. Well... I mean you can just keep reading by the time this goes up but... BRB!

[Approximately 30min later]

Well my theory from about two paragraphs ago is up in smoke as soon as the opening scenes of this episode roll in and further dashed upon the rocks by Ginko later in the episode. All things in their proper order.

So Torai (That’s firefighter-guy’s name btw) makes his report to dragon-man about his encounter with Soya and company. The other six Psychic warriors all make jabs at him as though he died even when he’s sitting right there in an example of a gag that is legit funny unlike Tara’s name from last episode. While we’re talking about the exposition meeting may I just say that I feel BETRAYED!

See Dragon CEO guy is as nerdy as I AM! He’s the one who found out that the enemy force is called Nebula. He called the giant abominations “Nebula Weapons” gives Soya and Company the name Nebula Soldiers, and what does he call the Psychic Golems his crew uses to fight? Psychokinetic Mega-God Photon Armor. If I didn’t know better I’d think my pops made him from the same mold as me no less. Oh, and their little world-saving club? It’s the Citizens' Safety Center Special Defense Section: "Grand Paladin". I’m in tears, people, this is a Draconid after my own heart.

So, the “Grand Paladin” peeps implement the buddy system in case they run into Soya again. Meanwhile Soya’s having a sulk because apparently Ginko and “Sensei” dragged him to Earth to be their soldier. He goes out on a walk in Iron Clogs (I’m guessing this is a joke I’m not getting). On the run he meets up with Torai who just happens to have purchased a bunch of meat buns from a convenience store. They have a conversation because Torai is a nice guy (that’s a legit nice guy not the version that’s been turned into a derogatory term by certain groups online). See Torai, while out looking for his attacker couldn’t help noticing what he thought was a middle-schooler sitting on a random bench crying and came over to see if there was anything he could do to help.

He gives Soya a bun they chat for a bit with Soya desperately trying both not to give away who he really is as well as to eat the bun because dammit he just wants some MEAT for once! All of a sudden the evacuation alarm is sounded because this wonderful abomination has appeared off shore.

Nebula really needs to consult a different artist about their designs. I personally recommend @dashfox1artwork.

Robin: Shamelessly plugging your internet friends are we dragon-boy?

Fic: If you’re not going to show up and fight keep your mouth shut Shadow-bear. I’m just doing my part to show that not all Dragons are assholes. Robin: Whatever you say.

So, the six remaining Psycho-God pilots attack the Ugly Bacon Idol and the pink-haired girl of the team, Miu, is the one to enter the core. The hallucination she sees is of her beating her friend Harumi (Pilot of the Bear-armor) at apparently a Judo competition. We find out that Miu has always just wanted to be strong, and we also learn that she IS strong being able to break through the illusion of the Nebula Weapon with relative ease and destroy the thing. It’s at this point that I should mention that a message has flashed before each of the characters who take one of these things out. In Miu’s case the message was “It’s okay to be weak”. For Torai in episode one the message was “I forgive you” presumably preying on his regrets about his mom.

After Piggy McHideous is dispatched the group separates into its pairs and as we expected Soya and Co target the pair with a member who just fought a battle, but let’s back up for a second because there’s some exposition from Ginko during the fight with the Baconator that needs addressing.

She reveals to Soya that Nebula is indeed the name of the group they work for, but there are multiple faction. Ginko and “Sensei” are with the “Pacifist Faction” whereas the Monuments to terrible design sense that have been popping up in the harbor belong to the “Sealing Faction”. Basically think of this as political parties. One wants to prevent humanity from rising up against them one day by brutally suppressing their ability to advance and keep them in a state of complacency, while the other just wants to take away any dangerous toys that humanity might come up with and hope that they can “guide” humanity onto the path of “Love” rather than “Power”.

Hmmm one group bent on maintaining their personal status quo at the cost of anyone else and another that wants to control precisely what power the general populace has access to in order to “guide” them on the “right path”? I wonder where I’ve heard that one before?

Sorry about that. The Writer is coming through me a little strongly there. Point is that Ginko is using Soya to enact social and ideological control... I MEAN to take away the magical stardust that allows the Psycho-God Pilots to do their thing... yeah. Back to the proper progress of the episode: Soya once again pilots his cat-mecha-sensei to fight against Miu and Harumi. It is a pretty fun fight, but all things must go as has been foretold. So after being on the ropes for most of the conflict Soya turns everything around at the last second with a miracle uppercut against the Bunny-god armor. As Miu is falling back to Earth Ginko appears and grabs the stardust vial away from her. Apparently Ginko can just Mary Poppins herself to wherever she pleases? They all land and Ginko’s like “That’s all for today”, but Soya’s having none of it. He’s ready to take the fight to Bear-mech too when all the other Psycho-Pilots show up including CEO Dragonface to say “Checkmate”, and that’s where our story concludes for now.

Y’know I’m coming more and more around to the opinion that we should be routing for “Grand Paladin” here rather than the lady influencing Soya or the massive, faceless organization that wants to turn us all into Proles from 1984. I mean, yeah, they do have the snake-eyed dude. They meet in what appears to be some sort of board room, and the writing seems to indicate that they’re the “Antagonists” if not the villains, but so far they don’t seem to be anything but a collection of well-intentioned if somewhat zany people. Even the big CEO-type with the intimidating presence, as was discussed earlier, is a lovable and hammy goofball.

I love any series that makes its antagonists human. Granted cartoonish villainy and even edgelordiness has its place in stories, but when you can make your antagonists and especially your villains feel human and relatable it just rings home that nobody is the villain in their own story. Everyone has reasons for what they do. They may not have excuses or justifications, but they all have reasons.

For instance, I have a reason for breaking my own rules here by reading my political views into the story.

[pauses for dramatic effect]

Yes, yes I’m sure you’re all very shocked at this revelation. I mean I was so subtle about it (/s). My reason is that when I went back and really thought about what the “Sealing” and “Pacifist” factions of Nebula stood for I (and this is really the nerd behind The Nerd speaking) couldn’t help but see parallels to some of the more distasteful extremes of Conservative and Liberal politics at work. Both sides seek to impose their morality upon others. While one does so by attempting to keep people complacent with the status quo, the other does it by appealing to the rebellious nature inherent in people and channeling it into “causes”.They use guilt and peer pressure to convince people that their way of thinking is correct and I absolutely cannot stand seeing it happen. Especially when they prey upon others using causes that need legitimate champions!

The goals of the “Pacifist” faction are arguably “good”. They are part of a group that has watched humanity evolve and they only want the best for us. They “keep their involvement to a minimum”, but at the end of the day they’re doing the same thing that the “Sealing” faction is doing. They’re enforcing their own will on humanity by taking away humanity’s means to fight against them, or anyone for that matter.

In the anime this is likely because the “Pacifist” faction is short-sighted and hasn’t stopped to consider what will happen to humanity when they take away the only weapon they have against the “Sealing” faction, but in reality? In reality groups like the “Pacifist” Faction either are themselves or contain an element that wants the people they’re disarming to become reliant upon them for what they need. They take away that person’s own weapons and replace them with their own. They dictate the rules of battle and push you to come to them for aid and defense. They accrue personal power and influence at the cost of their followers’ freedom of thought.

These are important things to think about and be on the lookout for, and it’s an issue that is very prevalent in my own life and dealings online. So those are my reasons for why I read political allegory into the factions of Planet With. Now am I justified for doing this when I so often decry others for “reading shit that isn’t there into stories”? No, of course I’m not. Or rather I’m not justified using that argument against people who dropped a show as a result of what they read into it.

I’m not going to lie. I’m inexperienced with expressing views on creative work online, and am overly sensitive to certain things. I’m just as flawed as anybody else. It’s hard for me to understand when people see “bullshit” in something that I didn’t see. It’s hard for me to accept some one calling a show (particularly one I like) “Garbage” when really it’s just not clicking with them. I know that I’ve been guilty of calling a show “Garbage” in my time, but it’s a term I hope to avoid moving forward. I want to live up to my professed belief that there is good to be found in all fiction, even the “bad” fiction. Part of that is accepting the responsibility I tell others they need to accept. To practice what I preach.

If I’m determined that the Audience has just as important a role in creating art as the Authors then I need to learn to accept the interpretations of my fellow audience members, and to feel free to express my own interpretations of things.

[stops to take a break and slide back into character]

Wow... That ended up being a lot heavier than I imagined. What a way to kick off the summer season! There’s more to come but for now I need a break, and the writer could probably use a nap.

Until next post keep talking fiction, friends! I’ll see you soon

#Anime #Planet With #Episode 1 #Episode 2 #Fictionerd #Let's Talk Anime #LTA #Robin

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rurounidrift · 8 years

Text

Jan 11 Blurr’s Horror Stream - I Am Not a Serial Killer

Drift helped zip-tie people together.

Also, he finally gave Blurr the coordinates to his alternate and Ratchet, so Blurr can pass them on to Tarn to kill.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. Drift: *drift has arrived Early As Hell tonight* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave and the group nod to Drift from his couch.* B l u r r: / here he comes, stumbling in and hopping on a mangled leg / Whirl: *trotting right behind him, keeping a close eye on Blurr in case he topples* Drift: ... Good mission? Whirl: *also, he looks next to nothing like himself. Also there is just a straight up hole punched in his side. Just right through him* Drift: *so, REALLY good mission* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave leans back slightly at the sight of you two.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Why are you not both in the medbay?]] B l u r r: / hops a little and tries to step on his pede / It wasn't even a mission Drift: Heroic rescue trip. Whirl: Hell yeah it went well! B l u r r: Not a hero /hisses and yanks some wiring out of his leg / Drift: *starts rummaging around in his pockets. He's got a hole punch and zip ties somewhere.* Whirl: And we're fine, we're fine. We're on the ship, that's good enough. Drift: Don't, don't—leave that in there. It's supposed to be on the inside. B l u r r: *it's B l u r r: It's hurting. So, t's coming out. Whirl: Oh, no, don't let him fool you. He's a hero. He's a COMPLETE hero. One undred percent. B l u r r: .. /hisses at Whirl / Drift: It'll hurt more if you tug on it. B l u r r: ... /sulks / ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HEY! YOU LISTEN TO 'IM. DON'T BE PULLIN' THAT SCRAP OUT.\\ Whirl: *rattles his long new rotors in reply. He isn't even slighlty admonished* B l u r r: / rolls optic and moves to sit down. Flops. / ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THEY AIN'T HURT YA BAD ENOUGH FOR RIPPIN' IT OUT THEIR OWN SELVES, THEY DON'T GET YA DOIN' IT FOR 'EM.\\ Whirl: Listen to Frenzy, Teach. Besides, the less you rip up now, the more HE gets to step on. Whirl: *sly look* If you know what I mean. Drift: Frenzy, you wanna come help patch him up? I can close the holes up. *holds up zip ties* B l u r r: ... /gets an odd expression/ Pits I just want him to crush my throat with his servo... Drift: *looks at Whirl* You're not getting out of getting patched up too. Whirl: *SNICKERS and pats Blurr's shoulder with one huge claw* I know, Teach. I know. B l u r r: / grumbles / We have yet to find him... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy "mutters" something about crushing something else if these two get filled with rust and goes to help Drift* Airachnid: [sneaks in] Whirl: *waves Drift off, turning to approach his hammock dubiously. He's still not 100% adjusted to all this new armor and doesn't trust his balance* I'll be fine. Just get me a sock or something. Shockbox: /he arrives at last. anyone who knew him well enough could tell from the way he moved that he was exhausted, but damn if he wasn't going to get his weekly dose of human media enrichment. Whirl: *bobs his head to Airachnid--though she might not present recognize Whirl, as he looks Extremely Different* B l u r r: / waves a claw at Airachnid / Drift: Oh no. I'm patching you up. You've got a gaping hole. B l u r r: /snickers at Whirl / Drift: ((it's still spinning for me. why..... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave bobs his helm at the small Shockwave.* B l u r r: [[ it might be LS. Apparently LS is, as always, experiencing problems ]] Airachnid: [waves in return and takes her normal position in the back] Drift: ((is it for anyone else?)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((how many tabs you got open? it's workin fine here...)) Airachnid: yeah same)) Drift: ((less than usual)) Airachnid: yeah same)) Drift: ((then I'm the lucky duck. SIGH)) Shockbox: /he registers the nod after a few seconds, and nods back. on his way to his usual seat, he grabs a small bowl of energon goods. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Long project?]] Whirl: *sloowly testing the hammock, pushing on it, leaning on it, etc* It's not GAPING. And it's not bleeding any more, it's fine. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((try incognito???)) Drift: ((there it goes)) Whirl: ((brb, i must clean up a spill, assume Wghirl is like. Hilariously slowly getting into this hammock* Drift: ((i refreshed)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((aaaaaay)) B l u r r: [[ yaaay ]] B l u r r: [[ lemme know when yall are back / ready ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ready when y'all are)) Shockbox: (( my body may be exhausted, but it is still ready. )) Airachnid: my head's stuffed up but I'll be fine. Eventually)) Shockbox: So, I presume the protagonist of this series is, in fact, not a serial killer? B l u r r: / anyway. Will watch Drift and Frenzy work on Whirl with an amused expression / B l u r r: I'm not sure. I've never seen this one. Being on Earth again has updated my horror library. Shockbox: ((*film, not series )) Shockbox: I suppose we shall find out for ourselves, then. Whirl: ((OK BACK)) B l u r r: Mm yes, I think so. /twisting wiring around his digits from his leg / I'm thrilled. Drift: You never know, he might be lying. Whirl: *HE IS IN THE HAMMOCK, success. He can't lounge though because his new rotor array is on his back, so he just sits up* B l u r r: [[ OKAY is everyone here / ready?? ]] Whirl: ((ye!)) Shockbox: (( like 9000 ready. )) B l u r r: [[ Puff, is it working for you okay now? ]] Whirl: *looks to Airachnid* Didn't see you at the movie night on Monday. Drift: ((ye)) Airachnid: I just hope there's a decent amount of human blood. Airachnid: I was otherwise engaged. Airachnid: aka MY F*CKING INTERNET WENT OUT)) B l u r r: [[ rUDE ]] Shockbox: (( awh....you missed shockwave night...)) Whirl: Ohh, if you wanna see some human blood, you should get some footage from Teach later! *pulls out a half cube of The Good Stuff and toasts the memory of carnage* Shockbox: (( a tragedy. )) B l u r r: [[ okay i shall start now ]] Whirl: Nobody does bloodshed quite like Blurr. Drift: Okay. Whirl. Look. You've got a hole in your side. *holds up a hole punch and zip ties* You're gonna at least let me close it up. Airachnid: for the whole damn night. no reason either)) B l u r r: / snort / No one knows how to murder like I do. Airachnid: I just want to see human blood and not get in trouble for it. B l u r r: / eyeing Whirl. Vents. The Good Stuff better not be anything not allowed on the ship / FakeProwl: *appears! and just in time* Whirl: *watches Drift with a deadpal expression and just takes a long pull* Shh. Movie's starting. Whirl: @Drift: It's not as bad as it looks, I promise. Take care of Teach first. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Makes room next to himself and the minis. Prowl is welcome to it.* Whirl: *HE FORGOT AGAIN, TELL HIM AND HE'LL STOP* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\AIN'T WE OR AIN'T WE NOT ZIPPIN' SOMEONE?\\ Whirl: *HE JUST WANTED TO TASTE A THING* B l u r r: / HOW DO YOU FORGET THE ONLY ' NO ' RULE HE HAS / Drift: @Whirl «I can't help with that kind of damage. I can close holes and that's about it. Frenzy's gotta look at him first.» Whirl: *BECAUSE I DID TOO* B l u r r: / he doesn't have to tell Whirl. Someone else will / Airachnid: [she's not even going to question what happened to Whirl] Whirl: ((omfg chistopher lloyd.....)) Drift: We're zipping someone. Can you look at Blurr while I close Whirl up? Piston: [ leans over the couch. Taps the cube ] This is an illegal substance, Whirl. FakeProwl: *sits with* Whirl: (9BEST *** INTO HAHA)) Piston: [ as a silent, terrifying mortician, he has snuck in without a word or sound ] ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YEAH, GUESS SO. C'MERE, SPEEDY ONE.\\ B l u r r: / grumbles/ My medic will fix it. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YEAH? 'N WHOZAT?\\ Whirl: A zip tie isn't gonna fix this, mech, it'll be fine. *AND THEN IMMEDIATELY JUMPS AND LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER* Where the frag did YOU come from!? Whirl: ...But. oh. Damn. Sorry, Teach. *subspaces it, and then pulls out a cube of regular old midgrade* Whirl: I got excited. Wanted to delebrate. Piston: I live here. [ dull stare ] Drift: ... Then I'm zip tying you after Frenzy's done with you. Shockbox: /he sprawls out on his lonely couch. though he would usually have no problem resisting the urge to nod off, getting the chance to sit still after bustling about all day might just entice him into -* Shockbox: *-rechage.* B l u r r: / vents and leans back. / Whirl: *turns and takes a long drink of his canister while returning Piston's dull stare* Rght. B l u r r: I say help patch up Whirl. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\Y'AIN'T MY BOSS.\\ Piston: [ props an elbow on the couch. Looks at Drift and Frenzy ] Hello again, Drift. Drift: ... Frenzy, who needs to be patched first? Whirl: Again--sorry. Forgot. Hey, Frenzy, d9o you know if they make a non-high-grade verison of... *pauses* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's gonna start peeking at that mangled leg* Drift: *nods at Piston* Hey. Whirl: *something feels weird. Whirl shifts and looks down. His hammock is getting wet. Because the ful he just tried to drink is leaking out of his side-hole* Whirl: ... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak, sensing semi-unattended treats, joins SHockwave on his lonely couch and starts sneaking treats from the bowl* B l u r r: / grumbles and shifts leg away / It's just missing plating. All the mechanisms work. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Company missed before. Prowl safe since last meeting? New news? Whirl: Okay. So. ...okay, fine. *side-eyes Piston* Drift can patch me up. DRIFT. Piston: [ moves from the couch and wanders around the hammock. Stares at Whirl] Frame can be modified, then? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\UH-HUH. I'MMA BELIEVE THAT CAUSE WHY?\\ Piston: This is not what I catalogued. No, no. Something much more complex. Blending into Tyran... [ monotone ] How fascinating. Whirl: *slowly swivels his helm to keep Piston in his sights* Yep. This is a pretty minor one: changed my alt-mode. Shockbox: *he jumps a bit at a sudden shifting sensation, attempting to identify the source of movement.* B l u r r: / glances at Frenzy and scowls/ My legs are complex... Airachnid: Ah, brings back memories. Drift: I'm waiting for Frenzy's call. Whirl: *antenna slowly pins back* ... I spent most of my life looking like this. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh yeah. He was, wasn't he? Frenzy looks over and - is Whirl leaking.* FakeProwl: *ugh. serial killer fanboy.* Shockbox: *ah, it's lazerbeak. he gives a slight nod, pushing the bowl a little in her direction and returns his dazed attention back to the screen.* Piston: Yes. [ leans forward just a little more ] I like it. Whirl: *now looks to Frenzy. Don't u dare stick himwith Piston* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\BOTHA BUNCHA... I OUGHTA POP ANOTHER HOLE INTO YA.\\ Whirl: Well. *leans back a LITTLE. Just a little* Well. ...good? Piston: ... Yes. [moves to walk away and settles in his own seat ] ItsyBitsySpyers: \\IN MY LEARNIN' OPINION, THE DUMBAFT LEAKIN' HIS FUEL PROBABLY GOTTA GO GET SURGERIED FIRST.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I AIN'T LEARNED TANKS YET.\\ Whirl: ((THERE HE BEEEE)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Yes, safe. Tarantulas has been bugging me. Nothing else has changed.» B l u r r: [[ there he iiiiisss ]] Whirl: *relaxes a bit, watching Piston walk away, puzzled* Airachnid: Would you like me to use some webbing to temporarily patch the wound? Whirl: ...*tilts his head* Would that work? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...IT CLEAN?\\ Airachnid: Yes. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «And Chromedome called me, but had nothing of worth to say.» Airachnid: To both questions. Whirl: Well. Sure, mech. Give it a shot. Come on over. *he's gonna sit up a bit straighter to give her a better view and shot* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy chews on a thumb claw.* \\GUESS SO. BETTER'N PASSIN' OUT.\\ Drift: I was gonna suggest duct tape, but it gets greasy and falls off. So yeah, web sounds good. Airachnid: [she's going to get up and walk over to where Whirl is] Whirl: *bobs his head cordially; he seems quite pleased with this solution* Just gob it right up in there. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Tarantulas attention wanted? Iacon progress? Soundwave can of-- ItsyBitsySpyers: *HOLD ON NOW* B l u r r: ... /twitches finials. Ignoring all this medical talk. Watching this movie / Airachnid: [she gives a nod and webs up the wound for now] Of course it'll need to be changed eventually. B l u r r: [[ guys lemme know if it starts tanking stream wise ]] Drift: ((fine so far)) Whirl: Yeah, I'll need to get everything, y'know, FIXED fixed before we go into a battle again. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): What wanted, this Chromedome. Prowl all right? Which alternate? Whirl: *gonna lean a little and scoot to the side. Airachnid is welcome to share the hammock, if she deigns to* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\DUCT TAPE AIN'T SO BAD IF YA STICK IT ON MOUTHS. ANYWAY.\\ Grabs for Blurr's leg again. \\GIMME, NERD.\\ Airachnid: ... [eh. might as well. She gets into the hammock as well] Airachnid: [copter hammock] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Fine, I'm fine. He tried to tell me lies about what memory he took from me in an attempt to manipulate me into agreeing to a verbal conversation.» Whirl: *SCORE* B l u r r: / tries to pull his leg away / Whirl: Hey now, Teach. I took my medicine, time fo you to take yours. B l u r r: / waves claw. / Whirl: I'll hold him down if you want, Frenzy. *TOTAL TRAITOR* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\GOOD. HURRY UP. HE'S FAST.\\ B l u r r: Don't touch me... Whirl: You gonna make me do it, Teach? Or you gonna behave? B l u r r: / scoffs and sticks his leg out / Do not touch anything inside. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\FINALLY.\\ Gonna get peeping inside. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): What lies told? Expected conversation purpose? B l u r r: Just shove the wiring inside and wrap my leg up. Don't go poking around. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Squint.* \\Y'BETTER SEE THAT MEDIC AFTER.\\ B l u r r: ... /smirks wider / Whirl: Yeah, Piston. Why don't you make yourself useful? Go see to your captain? B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh... /props chin on claw/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Gets shoving. He's gonna start charging for all this doctorin' stuff, he swears.* Airachnid: [so many memories of academy. Fun] Piston: I will. Right now, we are constructing an outer armor casing for his leg back in medical. B l u r r: I knew someone like her... /vents / FakeProwl: @Soundwave «He tried to tell me that he deleted my memory because I blackmailed him. Last time, he told me he deleted my memory because I was in love with him and embarrassed him.» Whirl: *he is not gonna even comment or think about this too much. He doesn't need anyone to know about is corpse-cave* B l u r r: Now I know someone like that, but he's much more cheery! Ain't yah, Piston? K-Kyeheheheh. Piston: ... Ha. Ha. [ dull laugh. Literally as it is read. ha. ha. ] FakeProwl: @Soundwave «The story changes every time. He's trying out stories until he finds one that sticks. None are logically plausible.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy whistles to Drift. Got more zip ties?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Not gonna leave room for Blurr to be picking wires back out* Drift: *got 'em.* Want me to put them in? I'm a pro. Whirl: Taking bets now--it's the therapist. Airachnid: Now that would be a plot twist. Drift: That'd make sense. He's trying to frame the kid by telling people he's a sociopath. B l u r r: / tilts helm/ What if the kid doesn't need framing? Whirl: *points at Drift* Yep. Whirl: Like that movie with the monsters--Nightbreed. Drift: Therapists aren't supposed to share stuff like that. Whirl: You groom your patient and put ideas in their head. Airachnid: This reminds me of my younger years, only I didn't have a therapist. Whirl: But, I could be wrong. *looks to Airachnid* Yeah? Count yourself lucky. B l u r r: They tried to give me one once... ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YA MIND?\\ He scoots out of the way. \\HE PROBABLY AIN'T GONNA PUNCH -YOU- IF IT HURTS.\\ Whirl: ...*pauses, and then relents* Well. Okkay. To be fair, Rung's... noit a bad sort. He's all right. B l u r r: He didn't taste very good. B l u r r: A little bland with awful ideas. B l u r r: Stale. That's how he tasted. Stale. Whirl: Heh. Was his name Froid? FakeProwl: *did have a therapist. a diagnosis of sociopathy was batted around. absolutely not contributing that to the conversation.* Airachnid: Never really wanted one. And when everyone is dying to psychoanalyze you, it gets annoying. B l u r r: ... No, I don't remember his name. Whirl: That guy's a real... He's. I mean, what a jerk. ItsyBitsySpyers: *None of Soundwave's group have been to a therapist. Primus only knows what one would do with them.* B l u r r: Eugh, I hate when mechs do that. They act like they know everything based on one tiny interaction. Airachnid: Medical school was quite irritating. B l u r r: ... !!! FakeProwl: *ugh now they're talking about froid. quick. what was soundwave's other question.* Airachnid: Well then. Shockbox: (( isn't that how the terminator kills people? )) Whirl: *pauses; momentary blank look* ... Yeah. But, anyway, unfortunately, mine's mandated. Shockbox: (( /has not watched terminator. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): More information needed. Chromedome not familiar mech yet. What not plausible about presented stories? Whirl: O-HO. Count me wrong, then. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it's how the one in the sequel does)) Whirl: ((i have not seen term 2)) B l u r r: ... wow. He's like us! B l u r r: / points/ That's what we do !!! B l u r r: / excited leg kick / Whirl: *now looks to Airachnid* You went to medic school? Shockbox: (( interesting. i remember seeing that sort of thing in a review once. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YOU WAS IN MEDICAL SCHOOL, AIRACHNID?\\ Whirl: ((PFFT, HIVEMIND, FRENZY)) Airachnid: Arachnicons, like myself, are often medics as we can produce webbing and that functions as bandages. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I lost interest in him very shortly after we broke up, long before he became an expert in mnemosurgeon.» B l u r r: ... /makes a slight face/ A lot of people in this... remind me of people I knew once. Airachnid: [gestures to Whirl's now bandaged wound] Whirl: Hmm. I see. *examines his own* Whirl: So far no leaks, so, not bad, mech. Airachnid: But, unfortunately, I was not CREATED to be a medic, so it did not work out. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HUH. Y'EVER MEET... FRAG. WHATSERFACE. COG SOMETHIN'. REMEDY TALKS 'BOUT 'ER SOMETIMES.\\ FakeProwl: @Soundwave «And I wouldn't have blackmailed him because I've never needed to, he's always been eager to get more work.» Whirl: ...yeah. Sucks when you have different ideas as to what you wanna be. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He has no idea how old Airachnid is or isn't, so he's just throwing darts here* Whirl: *he feels ya* Airachnid: I mean, if I had just passed one more class, I could have been a medic, but my teacher failed me because I wasn't made to be one. Airachnid: So I killed him. Whirl: *LAUGHS* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage snorts.* Airachnid: Not all arachnicons know each other. B l u r r: / makes a face/ He should have failed you for more logical reasons. B l u r r: Failing someone just because they don't seem to be part of the function means that the teacher was lazy. Whirl: On behalf of all teachers everywhere--and I'm sure Blurr can agree with me--I say, good job. Airachnid: No, he was a functionalist. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Of course—if he modified my memories extensively and thoroughly enough, EITHER of those stories could be true. I have no way to know.» B l u r r: Why would I agree with you? FakeProwl: @Soundwave «But neither lines up with what I DO know.» Whirl: Because a lazy teacher deserves to be murdered by his students. Especially a FUNCITONIST one. B l u r r: / he spaced out / Killing him? Yes, he sounded lazy. A terrible teacher. By all means. Is that what I'm agreeing on? Whirl: Yes. ...you ste you're all right? Airachnid: He was insufferable too. So he deserved it. B l u r r: Hm? B l u r r: [[ his handwriting is so weird wtf ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave glances up at the ceiling, thinking.* Airachnid: After that, of course, I couldn't get my medical degree so I became a bounty hunter in Kaon. Amazing how things can change. Whirl: Like, you're still with us, right, Teach? Not lsot too much fuel? Whirl: *looks to Airachnid; he seems genuinely interested* Bounty hunting before the war, eh? How well did THAT go? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\IF HE'S DYIN', I DIDN'T DO IT.\\ B l u r r: ... / twitches finials/ Ah. Yes. / settles. He's not all there but he's okay / FakeProwl: @Soundwave «He's been talking about trying to make amends and talk to me again. I suspects he wants to persuade me to meet in person. He probably wants to go after my memories again. Don't know why.» Airachnid: It paid well and there were plenty of mecha hiring. Whirl: *dryly* I hereby absolve you of all guilt, Frenzy. Whirl: ...THIS time. Whirl: For THIS specific instance. Whirl: ((pfft, emmett. I see what u did there)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl doesn't have -no- way to know. Soundwave could dig into Chromedome and find out himself. He's been wanting to do it since he found out about Chromedome in the first place. But he also said he-- ItsyBitsySpyers: wouldn't become a pet mnemosurgeon. And Prowl hated the idea so much with Tarantulas...* B l u r r: ... Is he going to take his spine? That would just make my day.../muttering/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Stops staring at the ceiling and looks back to Prowl.* Whirl: It's absolutely NOT ethical. Whirl: *antenna pins back* FakeProwl: That's extremely unethical. Whirl: ...*shakes his head and returns his attention to more pleasant things* Did you mostly run jobs for the Functionists, or for the 'Cons? Or what? Airachnid: Well, yes. Airachnid: The Decepticons were not formed at the time B l u r r: ... /slouches a little / Drift: ... *nudges blurr* Airachnid: Mostly criminals trying to get other criminals. B l u r r: /shifts a bit / Hm? Whirl: Ever take a hit on the establishment? Drift: Sup? *blurr's slouchin* B l u r r: ... /thinking/ Nothing, it's just that this reminds me of a lt. B l u r r: *lot Airachnid: I went after anyone. Some happened to be under that kind of label as well. Whirl: ...*looks over* Hey, Teach. Don't let he memories get to ya. Becaus we're HERE, now. Whirl: Kicking aft, taking names, getting shot--all the good things in life! Whirl: *adds, with another sly, sidelong look* Getting stepped on. Maybe. B l u r r: ... oh stop /snort / Whirl: *shrugs* Fair enough. If I'd been out and about around that time, I might've done the same. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl under Soundwave, deployer protection if Chromedome visit helps uncover truth. Avatar also possible.-- Whirl: I'm telling you, mech. It's gonna happen. I'm not gonna let you down. B l u r r: Hnnn.. ItsyBitsySpyers: Would put Chromedome down, provide recorded evidence if second attack attempted. Shockbox: (( this reminds me of an old story written by lovecraft. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *He says 'attempted' because there's no way he'd let it actually happen.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... I can't.» B l u r r: /vents and sets his leg out straight in front of him/ It reminds me of things I'm fond of. Harvesting for parts. Drift: ((which story? i don't remember one like this)) B l u r r: It's the people around him that strike familiar . Whirl: ((this is based on a book actually!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Arrest restriction? Personal comfort? Whirl: *nods to Blurr* Gotcha, Teach. ...*now swivels his helm about to regard Frenzy. Is he done with medic duty? Does he need aseat?* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I can't be near him.» *absent-mindedly rubs the back of his neck* B l u r r: [[ good news: whatever I ate today that messed me up is done messing me up. Bad news: I'm hungry but afeared to eat ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Small ping. You're doing the thing.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy's good on the floor, he's watching all this weird killers who are and aren't.* Whirl: ((LMAO I WENT TO THE imdb to look up brooke's actress cos the girl seems familiar and C/ LLoyd's character name is Crowley)) FakeProwl: *quickly laces hands in lap* Whirl: *then that is quite fine* FakeProwl: Don't taunt the monster, you idiot. Now he has an opportunity to get his guard up. B l u r r: Not if he needs constant harvesting B l u r r: if you scare him to stay inside, his parts rot and he can't get to a new source. B l u r r: In a way, he's actually quite smart. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Understood. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Believe him, he gets it.* Drift: *... comm ping to blurr* B l u r r: / twitches finial. Pings back/ @Drift: :: Hm? :: Whirl: ((WILLIAM BLAKE)) Whirl: ((AND WHAT HAND, AND WHAT ART, COULD TWIST THE SINEWS OF THY HERAT)) Whirl: ((william blake man. lovim. me and him have the sam bday y'all)) B l u r r: [[[ nice ]] Drift: @Blurr «This is where my alternate is landed right now.» *a set of coordinates.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ... Could assign Soundwave intercept duty. Make Soundwave Prowl's 'voice'. Chromedome, Trepan appearing; multiple contact attempts... disliked, distrusted. Should hunt truth. B l u r r: @Drift: :: Hnn? I thought you changed your mind? :: Whirl: Hmm. Drift: @Blurr «I had to think about it. But, I want to go through with it.» B l u r r: @Drift: ::Well, if you're sure. Once I give them, I can't stop it. :: Drift: @Blurr «I know. I'm sure.» B l u r r: / vents and slides over to lean on. Comfy / Whirl: *has been very twitchy since he arrived. Small little movements, rotor shuffles, etc. Constant fidgeting. Sorry Airachnid* Shockbox: (( hahahahahahah i saw that coming )) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Right now, the Constructicons are intercepting. Chromedome knows I want nothing to do with him so long as he has my memory and I don't.» Airachnid: [she's fine, she hardly notices] B l u r r: @Drift: :: Well, if you're sure. :: ItsyBitsySpyers: (AHA i was sitting here wondering why i knew the lead)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((they were in that wild things movie a while back)) B l u r r: @Drift: :: I'll have to tell you when it's done, if you want to know? :: Drift: @Blurr «Yeah. Wait until I'm over for movie night to tell me. I don't want any long-range comms that might be tracked.» B l u r r: @Drift: :: Naturally. I'll be here every time, you know. :: Whirl: ((christopher lloyd is so *** good in this)) B l u r r: [[ yeeessss ]] Drift: @Blurr «I know. ... Thanks.» B l u r r: @Drift: :: Oh, you know me. Hero to all, apparently. :: /rolls optic / Whirl: So is she still dating the therapist? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Wants nothing more than to offer to rip it out and put it back.* FakeProwl: *can't ask that* Whirl: Tiger. That comes back again. Hmmm. Whirl: *clicks claws clowly, contemplatively* Whirl: Wonder if that's significant. B l u r r: [[ the beanie ]] Airachnid: the pandie)) Whirl: ((The Beanie)) Shockbox: (( such a serious moment )) B l u r r: [[ the music. the pandiie ]] Shockbox: (( you can see the pain in his eyes as he slips on the adorable panda mask )) B l u r r: ... / sinks down more / Whirl: *tilts his head to an even further degree* Shockbox: (( this is some very LoZ: TP music. )) B l u r r: / going to stick his apparently zip tied leg out / B l u r r: / hurts at the moment / Drift: *wraps arm around blurr* Airachnid: [she's very focused on this. she's even starting to blep] Whirl: ((oh my ufccing god)) Whirl: ((the mental image of an airachnid blep has killed me. goodbye curle worl)) Airachnid: glad I could help)) Shockbox: (( goodbye curle whirl )) Shockbox: (( but yeah that's hella cute )) B l u r r: / leans on Drift / Whirl: ((is similarly engrossed so has not noticed the blep* Whirl: Oh, COME ON, you big baby. At least he told you the truth! Airachnid: Indeed. He has no right to complain. FakeProwl: *... mildly empathizes with main character.* FakeProwl: *isn't a sociopath. doesn't fantasize about killing people. but.* Shockbox: If the human had simply communicated the amount of danger he was really in, his friend might have considered him mad enough to let his words slide. FakeProwl: *the rules, to try to appear normal? the fear of being abnormal?* B l u r r: If the world didn't make it so hard to be abnormal, maybe people wouldn't have to worry about being normal. B l u r r: / holds out claws like duh / Whirl: ((i have that same cup...)) B l u r r: [[ same ]] Airachnid: we used to)) B l u r r: / sinks down more / Whirl: Well, the world's not gonna change. It's kind of amusing how similar it is across multiversal boundaries. Whirl: The thing is, you just gotta be ready to FIGHT the world. B l u r r: ...How endearing. /mumbling/ B l u r r: He dropped the knife. B l u r r: /muttering to self. full slouch on couch / ItsyBitsySpyers: *To the Pit with it.* Drift: *slowly slouches down with blurr* B l u r r: / glances at Drift . pokes his arm / Drift: *pokes back* Yeah? B l u r r: /flicks finials/ What're you slouched for? Drift: Cuz you are. B l u r r: / smirks/ Oh, yeah? Dodge is, too. Whirl: *glances to Drift and Blurr, watching; for once he's not sort of low-key jealous. He's just curiously watching them* Shockbox: *at this point it's seriously hard to tell whether or not he's awake.* Whirl: ((here lies shockwave)) B l u r r: ... /making a face / Shockbox: (( bested by exhaustion, for once. )) Whirl: *once again engrossed* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): If Chromedome: feared, Prowl: controlled. If goal: escape, what tools needed? ... Give legal options. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Legal options?» *he'd reported it to Ultra Magnus, who had done nothing. what was left? Who else would do anything?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Folds his servos in his lap. Takes a moment to notice the half-asleep Shockwave. He'll send them home later if they pass out.* Whirl: That's the therapist, right? Pfft. Good. Shockbox: (( how many funerals has this been at this point? )) Airachnid: a lot)) B l u r r: ... What a good person. /dims optic/ B l u r r: She's the only person that's nice to him. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... If you're willing, you could—monitor him. See what you can find out.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Legal options. Solutions not outside Starscream's laws. ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Nod.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's not going to ask Prowl for the illegal ones. Must leave his ally some room to deny knowledge of anything he might do.* ItsyBitsySpyers: anything terrible* Whirl: *snickers* Shockbox: (( how did this man even manage to /get/ a wife. )) Whirl: *snickers again* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Conversations? Monitoring only? FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Be cautious if you have conversations. You know what he is. Don't let him know you have ties to me. I disappear when he arrives, he probably doesn't know yet.» Whirl: *click click click in anticipation* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I will not ask you to converse with him. Don't endanger yourself and don't endanger me.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Acknowledged. Whirl: nICE! Airachnid: Ah, nothing like bonding over an autopsy. Drift: ... If his hand hadn't been out like that, his mom might not have believed him. He's lucky. Whirl: *snorts* Shockbox: (( some top notch vivisection going on right here. )) Whirl: Or, a living dissection. Shockbox: (( yes, that is what a vivisection is. a living dissection. )) Airachnid: Or vivisection. Drift: They're pumping out his blood. Whirl: Yep! *tips his canister in mock-toast and drinks* Whirl: I think they're pumping out his HIM. Drift: ... What if it pollutes the water? Airachnid: That is nor normal organic blood. Whirl: The black stuff---whatever he's made of. Drift: If he's made of the black stuff, then it could travel to someone else if it's pumped out, right? Whirl: Maybe... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sudden small plating flare* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Quickly puts it back down* FakeProwl: *that's a new one* B l u r r: / monster!!! / B l u r r: / excited leg kick / Whirl: *leans forward* Whirl: Is he gonna like... take true fo--ohhhh. FakeProwl: *not sure what plating flare means. brushes hand?* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\GROSS, HAHA.\\ Whirl: Neat! Shockbox: *goddamnit he would be so intrigued by this right now if he weren't ASLEEP.* B l u r r: ... /oh no. Oh god it's gonna end sad isn't it / Whirl: *i mean he won't admit it but it's kind of compelling that this murderous vicious monster's primary motivation is its love for someon* Whirl: *a good story* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Hand twitches slightly; he hadn't expected the contact. But he'll take it.* Drift: *AW. WHY THIS. 8(* Airachnid: [it is sickingly sweet] B l u r r: / this is hitting his fEELINGS that he thought he bURIED / Whirl: *tips his canister again& B l u r r: / ow. ow. ow ow pain. Picking at zip ties / Whirl: *well fucc that's. Compelling* Drift: *oh nooo. clings to blurr* Whirl: *but he's got a VERY good poker face* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy absently swats Blurr's hand.* Shockbox: (( ***, mang. )) Whirl: *it's the specific line: "i've never got it before" that got him. You've got company, Blurr* B l u r r: / swats at Frenzy. / Shockbox: ((didn't expect this to get feelsy. )) B l u r r: / is clinged to. Still picking at his zipties / Whirl: Ha. The therapist died. Good. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Turns.* \\CUT IT OUT.\\ B l u r r: / wheeze. He's having an emotional moment let him have it / B l u r r: / actually wait don't, hell rip the ties / Whirl: ((I REALLY LIKED THIS MOVIE. The pacing could;ve been better but it was good)) B l u r r: [[ IT WAS NICE? ?? I liked it ]] Drift: ... His therapist died because he was trying to help him. I think he was an okay one. Airachnid: and explained what the f*ck the old guy was)) Whirl: I don't like him. B l u r r: / rubbing his optic. / Drift: Questionable ethics, dated his mom, yeah... but died trying to help him. B l u r r: WELL At least humans died. That was great /rub rub / Whirl: Eh. Still don't like him. His motives were tainted. How can you trust someone knowing they're playing you for their own benefit? You CAN'T. Shockbox: *he is motionless. one could mistake him for dead in his recharge.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Apologies. Soundwave: fine. Unexpected recollection. Airachnid: I think Shockwave died. Whirl: Well. Ravage. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I DIDN'T DO THAT NEITHER.\\ Whirl: You know what to do. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No, Ravage.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy gets up to poke Shockwave.* Shockbox: *he shifts a little at the prodding.* Piston: [ pops up right behind Whirl ] What an endearing movie. I rather like that method. I use a system similar... on bodies I deem... worthy. [ stare ] FakeProwl: *small nod* Shockbox: *might need a little more to get him up and out.* Whirl: *swivels his helm around, DAMN YOU PISTON YOU STARTLED HIM AGAIN* is that so. Piston: [ stare back ] Yes. Piston: I look forward to the Tyran bodies you will bring me. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\\I GOT THIS. YER ALL GONNA WANNA CUT AUDIOS.\\ Shockbox: *oh no. * ItsyBitsySpyers: *So, Shockwave. You know how loud Frenzy is normally. Do you know how loud he can ACTUALLY be?* Drift: *covers audials* Airachnid: [covers audials] Whirl: Well, I'm not bringing you any. FakeProwl: ... Don't do that. FakeProwl: He's sensitive to noises. Whirl: You'll hafta ask Blurr for that. I usually don't leave ENOUGH of a body for any kind of preservation, mech. FakeProwl: *look who managed to notice a thing* Shockbox: * something tells me this is going to be the last time he attempts to fall asleep in a social gathering if this goes on.* Whirl: ...*pointedly does not, he wants to hear Frenzy scream* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy opens his mouth - then stops and looks at Prowl. Since when does he care?* Piston: What a shame. [ looks Whirl over ] I was told that you would be helpful to avoid your own ... ritual. Whirl: Ritual? Shockbox: *prowl, have we...bonded over a mutual sensitivity to sound?* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...I GUESS.\\ He gets up and dusts his knees off, walking to the other corner of the room. ItsyBitsySpyers: *THEN TAKES A RUNNING LEAP AND BELLY FLOPS ON SHOCKWAVE'S MIDDLE* Piston: ... [just stares at Whirl ] I really do wish to know how a spark works... FakeProwl: *...... he's mildly protective of people with hypersensitivity, don't read into it* Airachnid: [uncovers audials. Or that could work too] Whirl: Well. That's a damn shame, isn;'t it? not having one to experiment. *pokes him roughly in the chest& Whirl: *...okay well he was gonna call you a wimp for not screeching but a belly flop is acceptable* Piston: [ reaches out and pokes Whirl's shoulder ] Good luck out there. What I do to bodies would make the humans feel shame. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Congrats, Prowl. In case you were wondering about how far ally privilege goes, you've just discovered a small (but not always reliable) perk.* Whirl: *swats at Piston's hand* Oh, I'm SURE. FakeProwl: *the occasional power to stop Frenzy from screaming?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Something like that.* FakeProwl: *he'll use it wisely* Whirl: *The Poer to Instintill Discretion in Frenzy?* Piston: [ chuckles. It sounds like a doll tbh ] Shockbox: *WHEEZES and suddenly has his blaster raised in the air. he had attempted to trigger the alarms to his base, not realizing that he was, in fact, not home.* Whirl: Or I get thrown into the trash, or an incinerator. Whirl: Anyway, hate to disappoint you, but I've promised my corpse to Buzzsaw, Laserbeak, and Ravage. They're probably gonna devour me. Piston: Accidents happen. Whirl: Or, if anyone else is nearby and wants to eat me, that's fine. B l u r r: / moves a leg out. Going to try and stand / Right. I have... an announcement to make! Whirl: I'm sure they do, Piston. It'd be a damn shame if one of them happened to YOU. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HEH HEH HEH.\\ Rolls off Shockwave. \\DROP THE GUN, MECH. JUS' ME.\\ Whirl: *swivels his helm to regard Blurr* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Announcement?]] Airachnid: [that got her attention] Airachnid: [she never tries to miss out on the opprotunity for free food] Piston: [ quiet for things ] Piston: It would be. But my Captain has a strong belief in our driving spirit. Whirl: *well Airachnid. You are welcome to devour his corpse if you ask* Shockbox: *His helm flicks every which way as he slowly sets his arm down. He looks to Frenzy.* ....What did I miss? Airachnid: Most of the movie. B l u r r: I, that is me. /presses claw to his chassis / Have decided that my Skeleton Crew will... will be liberating... /trailing off./ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SOME KINDA MONSTER THING CRAWLED OUTTA THE KILLER GUY 'N HIS BLOOD 'N STUFF. REAL MUSHY STUFF 'BOUT HIS WIFE.\\ B l u r r: / flicking finials. Turns to his left and mumbles. / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He's never heard of]] [][][]mumble[][][]. [[Where is that?]] Whirl: Yeah. Believe it or not, an ACTUALLY compelling romance, as compred to last week's movie's Garbage Romance. B l u r r: / vents and points to Whirl and hisses in another dialect / Drift: Are you rescuing the Autobots? 8) Whirl: *tilts his head as he is pointed at, his long rotors rattling questioningly* B l u r r: Oh, fine. After much conference, we've decided that ...we will, indeed. Help the Autobots. Shockbox: Hm. The last thing I recall was that the human adolescent attempted to murder the old woman. B l u r r: Only because it will have Optimus Prime of Tyran in my debt. Drift: *hugs Blurr's waist. ... since he's still sitting and all.* Whirl: And so he'll step on you. Whirl: But sexy-like. Shockbox: Was....the monster, interesting? B l u r r: / pats Drift's helm/ AND. Whirl: And also because... *sly look* Blurr's got a hero's streak in him. Airachnid: Made up of mostly blood that came from the old human. B l u r r: I will.../ gritting denta/ I. Will. Release. The. Wreckers. To their rightful... home. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YO, BOSS. MONSTER IMAGE?\\ And now Shockwave can see it. Airachnid: So, I would say so. B l u r r: / that was hard to say / Whirl: You're damn right you will. Whirl: If you decided not to then we'd have us a PROBLEM, Teach. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...Will they not be endangered by the humans?]] Shockbox: *He considers the monster.* Whirl: But, I had faith you'd come around. Real..........................................heroic of ya. B l u r r: ... Shut up, Whirl. B l u r r: I'm doing this because I get to slaughter humans for free. Free buffet. Whirl: I will not shut up. Whirl: Nobody has ever figured out how to do that yet. Whirl: And neither will you. *beams cheerfully* B l u r r: / crosses arms / Optimus Prime of Tyran will owe me. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((omg is this the rock)) Whirl: ((IT IIIS)) Whirl: ((HIS VOICE IS SO GREAT)) B l u r r: [[ it is ]] Airachnid: I do not know Whirl very well, but I don't think "shut up" and "Whirl" really go together. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((adoration <3)) B l u r r: Absolutely. Anything. B l u r r: And Optimus Prime of Tyran in my debt means that I can request anything... Whirl: *nudges her* You got me! B l u r r: So if I die, know that he tore me in half and it was glorious... Shockbox: (( such a good song...)) Whirl: And also, Optimus Prime of Tyran will step on you. Sexily. Whirl: Hey, if you gotta die, I'll make sure, Teach, as your friend, to make sure it';s at his hands. At his FURIOUS hands. Whirl: *salutes; whirl is 100% your wingman Blurr* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...A debt from Optimus Prime should be used on something more... useful.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Than your libido.]] B l u r r: ... Look, you just don't understand. Whirl: Uhh, you're understimating the amount of enjoyment Blurr will get out of that. Don't judge. Whirl: People like us need to tke whateve joy from life we can. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks at the both of them.* B l u r r: You have no idea what it is like to see an angry Optimus charging at you like he broke through the flames of hell. /claws to chassis / Whirl: I mean, obviously, you got no problem serving YOUR libido, *ndos at Soundwave and Prwl* Whirl: Let the rest of us do what we need to. B l u r r: With that gun charging and that angry snarl. The HATE in those optics. ItsyBitsySpyers: *And then Soundwave transformed into an iceberg.* B l u r r: The way it feels to have limbs torn from attachments... Whirl: ((i am very sorry fo my sh it typing lmao)) FakeProwl: I wouldn't trade in a highly useful debt for a fifteen-second session with an unwilling dom. Whirl: Yeah, well, you're not Blurr. B l u r r: Besides... he has a soft spot. Whirl: Like I said--don;t judge. Shockbox: *he is confused by the implication of soundwave and prowl having...a relationship?* FakeProwl: *is judging. is judging hard.* B l u r r: And. /deep vent / Roadbuster and I are. Whirl: *no regrets; Whirl got u Blurr. U fam* B l u r r: Figuring out. B l u r r: Friends. Whirl: *LOOKS TO BLURR* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, that's going to speed up certain conversations with the alternate Shockwave, isn't it.* B l u r r: I think we've figured that out. Whirl: Mech! That's great! Shockbox: *observing this conversation, even if he didn't hear the very beginning of it.* Whirl: You did it! FakeProwl: *whirl didn't say "serving your libido WITH EACH OTHER" so prowl missed the implication* B l u r r: Basically... do you guys want anything from Earth while I'm there? Shockbox: *thanks whirl you're helping us talk to eachother. * B l u r r: Oh, and Whirl is helping me. I'll make sure he comes home. Whirl: They might pay you NOT to, teach. *laughs* Whirl: Pfft. Whirl: But heck yeah, you guys want souvenirs? FakeProwl: *considers asking for a red crayon.* FakeProwl: *no—they'd kill somebody to get it.* B l u r r: [[ blurr has those omfg ]] Whirl: *i mean you're not wrong* Airachnid: [goes to Earth all the time so she's fine] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl, you are approximately six feet away from an artist.* B l u r r: [[ blurr and whirl break into Crayola ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ooh! Ooh! I want - uh. They been doin' this whole - this whole thing 'bout some Ham human.// Shockbox: *unsure about what level of quality specimens they would return with if their goal for the trip doesn't involve preserving them.* Whirl: ((whirl gets a cybertronian-sized crayon, somehow)) Whirl: ((Prowl. Don't ask. But look how awesome this is.) B l u r r: ... Ham human? Whirl: ...ham. Whirl: *You're not included in Whirl's offer, Shockwave; you're an active con* FakeProwl: *why would buzzsaw use Earth wax sticks designed for children* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. Some Hamtown guy. The Boss got the music but they got a... the frag do humans call datapads.// B l u r r: / blurr will bring u gifts, shockwave / Whirl: *but Soundwave, his team, Drift, prowl, and Airachnid are all being offered souvenirs* Shockbox: *to be fair he nor i were paying attention to the beginning of this exchange.* Whirl: Music. Hamtown. FakeProwl: *he's approximately six feet away from an artist IRL too, but he wouldn't ask Bonecrusher for crayons either.* Whirl: Ham... burg? Drift: *shrugs* Surprise me. Whirl: I need a little more to go on, mech. Whirl: ...*gl;ances to Drift* Got it. Shockbox: *shockwave would appreciate gifts.* Drift: Human datapads? Books. B l u r r: Oh, I already know what I'm getting you, Drift. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He likes the way the blue ones can be melted and reshaped into energon.* Airachnid: How about some crystals? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good spattering, too.* Whirl: *he might not have had a lot of time to talk to Drift but Drift has wormed his way into Wgirl's Relatively Good Graces* Whirl: Crystals? What kind? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Books! Yeah.// Wait. He just. Admitted to wanting a book out loud. Any minute now-- ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HAHA. NERRRRRD.\\ Drift: And get repaired before you come home! I don't want Rodimus asking questions about your "vacation." Whirl: *throws his canister at Frenzy's head* Whirl: PIPE DOWN I'm trying to hear your brother. Airachnid: Quartz is always fine. B l u r r: ... you didn't tell him you were coming ? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Frag off, I jus' want the pictures.// Whirl: ...weee-ell. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy yelps and ducks.* Whirl: I might have neglected to mention... certain aspects of my vacation. But yeah. Got it. *Dift is gonna cover for him? he's getting TWO souvenirs* Whirl: So. Rumble. ...what are youeven asking me. Whirl: Ham City? Whirl: *he is lost* Drift: Honestly? I think you would have gotten a free pass from him if you said you were gonna go rescue Autobots in that universe where they got chewed up. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble grits his dentae together. Incoming file, Whirl.* Shockbox: (( as much as i would enjoy staying up until around two in the morning....)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((get some rest!!)) Whirl: *but he got your message Airahnid, he is deffo bringing some quartz for YOU. You are Interesting and Whirl is not gonna forget YOU* Whirl: ((IS IT HAMILTON xd)) Shockbox: (( i need to shower. and sleep. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((Yes. Yes it is.)) Whirl: ((REST WELL SHOCKBOX)) Shockbox: ((slendy should i link the fic to this group before i jet out. )) Whirl: ((exclelent)) Airachnid: [thank you Whirl] Drift: But if you're calling it a "vacation," fine. Just... don't come home beaten up. Then one of us is gonna HAVE to explain what happened. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((up to you!)) Whirl: *tilts his head, and then nods; as one mech with bioth kick-*** and nerdy tendencies, he got u, Rumble* Got it. Shockbox: (( hmmmmm. welp. yolo. )) B l u r r: In any case. B l u r r: Do you guys wanna see how much humans wanna pay for us? Shockbox: (( http://shocktrooper-redstreaker.tumblr.com/post/155750914201/intentionally-bad-fic-stuck-tiddy )) Shockbox: (( my friend wrote this, it's great, g'night. )) B l u r r: well, me. I'm on their list. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((night!)) Airachnid: goodnight!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He would like to know what the humans ask for our kind, yes.]] Drift: ((gnight~)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If only to know how far to stay away from them.]] Whirl: ((i see te phrase "massive uniboob" and i am pleased)) Whirl: You mean, the sorts of things they wat from us? From our bodies? B l u r r: It depends on the mech. B l u r r: See, me? They want my legs, apparently. /motions to his leg / B l u r r: They think the speed is in the legs. Morons. Drift: Don't correct them. Whirl: A s far as I've been able to determine, they mostly want me dead, or me to stop killing all of them. *this is spoken matter-of-factly; he's not bragging. He's telling the truth* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Pffft. They ain't seen Velocitronians, huh.// Whirl: But, you got it. *nods cordially to Soundwave* B l u r r: / vents/ Regardless, Cemetery Wind knows there are more of us. This might ruin Lockdown's plans. B l u r r: / rubs claws together / B l u r r: Imagine me getting on that big ship... Whirl: Ohh, yeah. Snuffing LOCKDOWN. Whirl: That sounds like FUN. B l u r r: So, I just want you all to know... Airachnid: [that designation sounds familiar] B l u r r: / points to everyone./ I am not a hero. I am doing this for my own benefit. /sits down/ Airachnid: Suuure you are. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Sure. 'N I ain't really Ultra Magnus.// Whirl: *gently disengages fro the hammock so it doesn't dump his Distinguished Company, which is Airachnid* Whirl: And I would like the room to know... Whirl: *hand over his cockpit* That Blurr one hundred percent IS a hero. I seen it. I was HERE. Whirl: *There Airachnid: [she might as well leave it as well. She gently leaves the hammock] B l u r r: I am not-! Whirl: He's a good deal more good than he wants all of you to believe. *regards Blurr with an expression that seems to mingle cheekiness with something like affectiion* Whirl: Despite everything, he is... a Autobot. Whirl: *an B l u r r: / rolls optic/ B l u r r: / buries face in claws / Whirl: And you know what? I only knew his former commande from one... really. Uh. WEIRD conversation. But I will say this, in case we both die i a fiery inferno tomorrow: I bet he'd be pretty proud. B l u r r: ... /peeks through his claws/ Whirl: Sluahgteing uppity humans for the greater good? He'd be chuffed. I guarantee it. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave can hear Laserbeak about to ask what's good about Autobots. He quiets her.* B l u r r: ... /oh no that makes him feel things / Whirl: *he means it, you big turd* B l u r r: / and he's doing a sort of good thing for bestie / B l u r r: / emoTIONS / Whirl: *continues to regard Blurr with that cheeky/maybe, if u squint, affectionate expression* Drift: *that was a nice speech, Whirl. nice words for Blurr. pats Blurr's back.* Whirl: *And Whirl will tell u, Laserbeak, if u ask: what's good about us? The way we DECIMATE THE OPPOSITION* B l u r r: / clamps digits together and just face in claws / ItsyBitsySpyers: *She IS the opposition. Was. Something. CLOSE ENOUGH.* B l u r r: / vents and finally lowers claws. Trying to look fINE / B l u r r: ... People will still be scared of me, right? / looks at Drift / Whirl: *nah, you're almost in the same boat Drift is. Anyone who comes against yo u IS the oppostion* Drift: Of course they will. Whirl: *he got u Laserbeak; you're a spot of all right* Whirl: Pfft. How could they not be, teach. Whirl: I mean, LOOK at you. Whirl: You're a monster. *this is said as a compliment* B l u r r: ... /looks at self and smirks / I'm gonna give that Prime something to fear, aren't I? Whirl: You gonna give him something to fear, but most importantly...... a place to rest his feet. *sly look* B l u r r: ... /vents/ Oh stop. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave shakes his helm a little. Can't believe they're still on that.* FakeProwl: *these past couple weeks Prowl has been learning far too much about other people's kinks, and 100% of it has come from Whirl* Whirl: *what ca he say? he's a fount of knowledge. who shows he cares for his pals by embarrassing them* B l u r r: Maybe I should keep the favor... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Haha. A couple of weeks. Boy, that must be nice.* Whirl: *snickers and shrugs* You gotta stop making it so easy for me, then, mech. Airachnid: [going to sneak off now] B l u r r: Regardless... Airachnid: akak mun needs sleep because of classes in the morning)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage huffs a tired goodbye to Airachnid on her way out* Whirl: ((night!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((NO HOW DARE)) B l u r r: The point is. I think we can get things done with a week or so. Whirl: But know you've got yourself a ready and willing windmech. ...despite the fact U don;t have wings. Airachnid: goodnight!)) B l u r r: [[ ni ni ]] Whirl: *will swuvel and bob his helm to her; Whirl is pleased with the night's arrangements* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave sits up slightly and tilts his helm just so to catch this song.* Whirl: ((oh my god my typing iso bad. it's the rum. es tut mir leid)) Whirl: ((i am sorry)) Whirl: ((and that was fuccin german)) FakeProwl: ((see I just assumed it was a row of extreme typos)) B l u r r: / vents and smirks at Drift / @D: :: And I'll get your thing taken care of. :: Whirl: (( would say i'm cutting myself off now but the bottle is empty)) Drift: @Blurr «Thanks. I appreciate it.» B l u r r: ... and I get to be the fastest mech in their ugly group! /stands up and immediately falls down / ItsyBitsySpyers: *A good piece to end the post-movie music on.* B l u r r: ... Well. When I get my leg fixed. Whirl: And I get to be the ugliest in their fast group! *snickers* Drift: You're getting fixed before you go, right? Whirl: Yes. He is. Whirl: Don;t worry. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THEY BETTER. I AIN'T MISSIN' MOVIE STUFF FOR NOTHIN'.\\ B l u r r: ... Yes, I am. Drift: Good. Drift: That goes for you too, Whirl. B l u r r: Both of us. Drift: We all just put you back together, you're not allowed to fall apart. Whirl: I'm tough! B l u r r: I've stitched myself together through worse. Whirl: I can take a lot of damage. As if I'd let some HUMANS do me in! Drift: You've also got a hole in your side. Whirl: Yeah, it's no big. I've had a lot worse than this hole. Recently. I've been injured worse during a THERAPY SESSION than this. Whirl: *it's 100% true; Fort Max ripped one of is arms off AND impaled him* Drift: It stopped counting as a therapy session when it turned into a hostage situation. Whirl: Really? I didn't. B l u r r: / he's on his datapad, sending a message/ Oh, Drift!! /yanks him over and holds the datapad up/ Smile!! ItsyBitsySpyers: *That's a new story to ask about later.* Drift: *smiles on cue* Drift: *why's he smiling, he doesn't know* B l u r r: / snaps pictures!! Selfies / Whirl: *we'll see how much you get told* Whirl: *will return to his hammock and settle in; he's staying here, so he doesn't hafta leave* B l u r r: See? /shows Drift / Drift: *looks at* Who's the picture for? B l u r r: I just got in contact with an old... acuaintance. B l u r r: *acquaintance B l u r r: I don't know if we're friends because I can't really remembering us establishing that. Drift: Roadbuster? B l u r r: ... no no. He's a Tyran mech, though. Drift: Who? B l u r r: Ratchet. Whirl: *settles in, after another extended "can i balance this" session; he's ebginning to finally look a little tred* Drift: Oh. B l u r r: ... And Roadbuster. B l u r r: And Topspin. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ratchet???* Drift: ... And you're gonna save them all. *sly grin* You hero. ItsyBitsySpyers: *No. Wait. He said Tyran. It's okay.* Whirl: *perks his helm up* Yep! Hero! B l u r r: ... /vents and pushes his claw in Drift's face/ B l u r r: Sshhhh... not a hero. Whirl: *before carefully lying himself back, settling in and getting comfortable* Absolutely one. B l u r r: Doing one good thing in a sea of bad won't make me a hero. Whirl: You've not lived long enough to do enough abd to make yourself irredeemable. Whirl: Take it from someone who HAS. *wiggles in; ahh, yes. Nice and comfy. He is sleeping here tonight* Drift: *pushes claw back* Totally a hero. B l u r r: Perhaps, for the moment. B l u r r: It will pass, like many have before. Whirl: So you saaaay. Whirl: Let's see. Get back with me in five milion years. *snorts as he nuzzles his helm into the fabric* B l u r r: Oh go to sleep. /vents and rubs his optic/ I've got to sort out where we're going tomorrow. B l u r r: Keep track of the Autobots. Find where Prime is... Yeager human.. /yawn/ B l u r r: / sharp tooth yawn / Drift: *stands* I'll let you get to your preparations, then. I've gotta get back home. Whirl: *rattles his rotors* Seeya, Drift. B l u r r: / smirks and wiggles claws at Drift. His turn to hug ur waist / Whirl: ..and hanks. For covering for me. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, if they're all settling in and going home. Looks at Prowl.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Also returning? Whirl: *shoots Blurr another cheeky look before relaxing; there's hope for you YET, Blurr. he ain't about to let u forget it* Drift: Sure. I didn't really do anything, I just didn't tell Rodimus what your vacation is for. Drift: Don't get in too much trouble, okay? I can only cover so much. B l u r r: I'll keep him safe. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Yes.» Whirl: *snorts, but refrains from making a self-depreciatig comment about how everyone would be happier if he WASN'T safe. For once. progress??? progress* FakeProwl: *flickers out* ItsyBitsySpyers: *That was unusually quick. All right. He gets up and gathers his minicons, then makes his way out* Whirl: *raises his helm to bob it good-night at Soundwave & Co* B l u r r: / waves claw at everyone. Wiggles for Drift. Will lay on the couch and work on his datapad / Drift: *wiggles fingers at Blurr. and he's out.* Whirl: *will now sleep; it's been Quite a Day and he is tired* B l u r r: / will probably also sleep in here /

#chat

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blogobot5000 · 5 years

Text

ALL: Cheers! (They drink)

GWEN: So… Cleo – what was it that happened in that little hell of online dating for you?

CLEO: Do we really want to hear this?

EVE: Absolutely. We’ve been sharing away – but you …

BONNIE: (Bluntly) You haven’t said shit!

CLEO: Okay, miss sunshine and rainbows. Here it is: why I take online dating with a grain of salt.

GWEN: And she salty...

CLEO: Oh, one hundred percent.

BONNIE: Go on –

EVE: Tell us!

CLEO: Alright… so. We all know that I was with Carson all through college and we were hopeless in love and blah, blah, blah but it didn’t work out, yada, yada – well. When we eventually, inevitably broke up, I gave it a shot. It was a few months in I got a message:

MAN: Cleo!? Do you remember me? We went to middle school together. Long time.

CLEO: Mind you. No where on my profile had my name or any hints to my name. Or my exact home town, which he had referenced. (To MAN) Um… Sorry, I do not recognize you. Do you mind telling me your name as well since you seem to recognize me?

MAN: It’s Chris. We went to middle school together at Wildwood Creek Junior High. WWCJH!

EVE: Is that where you went?

CLEO: You betcha.

BONNIE: Oy.

MAN: Why don’t we meet up and you give me a blowjob?

CLEO: I did not recognize his photo. There were about six Chris’ in my class. I had no clue who this guy was… and yet:

MAN: Why don’t we meet? It’ll be a good time. You can just give me a quick one. I know a great spot. Do you still live in town? It’s an easy drive, it’ll be a great time-

CLEO: Still – I persisted he tell me his last name. After countless efforts and responses which only resulted in him pushing a blowjob, he told me:

MAN: Chris Murphy!

CLEO: A brief memory flashed in my brain of seventh grade versions of me and him in the hallway, heading to science class. That is all I recalled of him. This guy from my childhood who I barely know! We never kept in touch but for some reason he recognized me and in that moment he thought “what better way to make a pass than to remain anonymous and then offer oral sex.” I tore into him. How it was so disrespectful, creepy, and not okay. In what world would I feel safe to meet up with someone who was talking to me in this way? I told him how every single thing he said was unacceptable and how he should never do it to any other person again. That is NOT a way to get a person to hook up with another.

EVE: (Timidly, but curious) What did he say?

CLEO: Oh, I never heard from him again.

GWEN: He probably didn’t like being called on his shit.

CLEO: Probably not, no. (Takes a drink) OH! And then there was Steve.

GWEN: Oh boy…

EVE: Steve?

CLEO: Steve was my first “boyfriend.” I was fifteen… he was eighteen… and his mom was not a fan, apparently. We started dating on a Thursday night, via phone call, of course-

BONNIE: How romantic

CLEO: Held hands in school on Friday and Saturday morning… well, back in the days of AIM and Razor phones… I went up to the trusty desktop (Charading typing on a computer, a sunnier, more innocent version of herself) Hey, Steve – good morning

MAN: Hi

CLEO: How did you sleep?

MAN: Fine.

CLEO: How are you?

MAN: Eh. BRB.

CLEO: Um… okay. (After a moment, gets up and walks) And I had this gut feeling that something was up… so I got my trusty Razor phone. (Looks down) One new voicemail. (She opens it up to listen to it)

VOICEMAIL: Hi Cleo… this is Steve’s mom. Look, I think you’re a lovely girl and all but I have a strict rule that Steve cannot date anyone younger than the age of sixteen. I’m sorry for that, he cannot date you any longer.

CLEO: (Dramatically) Tragedy struck! My fifteen year old heart ripped into pieces!

BONNIE: Woof.

CLEO: Only to find a month or two later that Steve started to date Linda… my friend who was… drumroll (EVE and GWEN drumroll on the table) Who wants to guess how old?

BONNIE: Sixteen?

CLEO: Fourteen!

BONNIE: Wow.

CLEO: So, it became clear that it wasn’t his mom that had an issue since she was thrilled that he and Linda were together as shown by her buying Linda flowers for the prom that year-

EVE: Aw, poor little Cleo.

CLEO: Hah! Bullet dodged for poor little Cleo. Because guess who has found me not ONCE, not TWICE but THREE TIMES on various social media – dating apps included- knocking down my very locked door.

MAN: Hey you. Would you like to go on a date with me? I have a poetry contest coming up. I have a girlfriend, but I only met her once and my mom is insisting I break up with her. It’s Steve from high school.

CLEO: No response. And then, on a completely different site:

MAN: I would love to practice photography with you. Hey. I love snakes too. They are my favorite animal. They truly are. Cleo. Will you go on a date with me? Hey. Are you there?

CLEO: No thanks. I am not interested.

MAN: Are you sure? Sad face. Cleo. Okay.

CLEO: There were other times too but – yeah. You get the gist. So, I’m not so fond of the past ghosts or even present ones for that matter coming out to play on dating sites.

GWEN: (Reflective. Chuckles) ‘Are you a serial killer or an axe murderer?’ I should use that.

CLEO: Everyone should use that.

GWEN: Maybe I could have avoided Jack.

BONNIE: Well, he was a stalker. Not a serial killer.

GWEN: He could have been! If there was ever a man who would have been using women’s flesh as a lampshade, it would have been him! Ugh, and I had the red flags. He was 43 minutes late for our date.

EVE: That’s oddly specific.

GWEN: So, here’s the backstory. Jack had been in a car accident the week before. His car needed to go to the shop, so he needed a rental. Fine. Then, his rental was giving him trouble, so he needed to swap it out. I wanted to go to the Cheesecake Workshop for dinner. Work was rough and all I wanted was some key lime pie cheesecake, so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone: meet him, get cheesecake. I arrive at the restaurant; there’s an hour and a half wait. I text him with the info and he suggests going somewhere else. Fine. First, I couldn’t find the place. The reason I couldn’t find it was because it was a fast food place IN A STRIP MALL! Fine. So, I stand outside and wait. “What’s your ETA?” I text.

MAN: 15 minutes, tops.

GWEN: So, I’m texting Bonnie and she’s telling me to leave.

BONNIE: I knew there was something off.

GWEN: 30 minutes later, I call him. He doesn’t answer, but sends a text saying,

MAN: Sorry! Traffic’s bad, be there soon.

GWEN: So, I wait. Then, another 10 minutes pass and I tell Bonnie that I’m leaving in 5 minutes if he doesn’t show up. 43 minutes in, a man walks up to me and says:

MAN: Are you Gwen?

GWEN: I’m not going to lie. In that moment, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I. Just. Knew. We get our orange trays, walk down the line, order our dry Chinese food, and find a spot tucked in the corner.

MAN: I’m sorry that I’m late. Things have been shitty.

GWEN: I’m not heartless. It’s a first date. I lean into the conversation and ask if he wants to talk about it. He goes into this heartfelt monologue about his cat dying and how much he misses her and how his life has a gaping hole without her. “I’m so sorry. Pets are part of the family and it is hard to say goodbye. When did this happen?”

MAN: Almost 3 years ago next month.

CLEO: (Spitting out water, laughing) I’m sorry?

EVE: What the fuck?

GWEN: Buckle up, ladies. This story is about to take an even sharper turn. So, I see this red flag, but ignore it and forge on with the conversation. Turns out, as a child, he and his family would go camping near where I grew up in middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania. We talked about our families and work—he shared another fun story that involved his mom having a UTI.

CLEO: Rough.

GWEN: Then, I asked how he was feeling after his car accident. I have never regretted something more.

MAN: I feel like I can tell you anything.

GWEN: You never want a stranger to say that to you. Apparently, the week before he was out on a date with a woman he met online. Things were going well. She was funny, smart, and they supposedly immediately connected. At the end of the date, they talked about carving pumpkins together. THE NEXT DAY, he called to make good on these plans. She didn’t answer. So, he decided to go pick up some pumpkins and surprise her at this house. He texted. He called. She wasn’t picking up. He took this to mean that he should drive to her house. While driving around her block waiting for her to pick up her phone… SMASH. He was hit by a car at an intersection. He was fine and the other driver was fine, but his car was not. This motherfucker pulled into this girl’s driveway, stood on her front step, and heard the phone ringing inside the house. He was livid. He got the pumpkin out of his car and placed it on her front step as a sign that he was there. Apparently, he wanted to write a passive aggressive note on the pumpkin, but stopped himself. Like, he deserves some medal of honor!

MAN: I just, women are so mean to me. But, I can see in your eyes that you’re different.

CLEO: Yeah, when you show up at their house unannounced and unwanted, women don’t like that.

EVE: (Bursting, ‘obviously’) NO ONE LIKES THAT!

GWEN: Fortunately, I was running a 5k the next day, so I had the perfect excuse. “Oh! So sleepy! Must run in the morning—thanks for a great night!”

Man: Do you want a ride home?

GWEN: I have never been so happy to take the MBTA in my life.

BONNIE: Oh, but the story doesn’t end there!

GWEN: It doesn’t. I was texting Jack at the same time I was texting another man. He was a paralegal. We went out, there weren’t any sparks, but the conversation was nice so I was up for going out again. Here’s the problem. I put them in my phone with the dating app first, followed by their name. So, it was Tea Meets Biscut Jack and Tea Meets Biscut David. Fast forward, I’m sitting on a bench waiting for David. David was not who showed up. I fucked up and I fucked up badly.

MAN: I’m so happy to see you!

EVE: Did you leave?

GWEN: I PANICKED! So, we went in for brunch. Did I mention that he was racist? Because, he was also racist. He works with college students and continued to do impressions and make racist statements that ended with,

MAN: You know what I mean?

GWEN: So, I would respond by saying loudly, “NO! No, I don’t know what you mean!” I work in this town. People know me. I live in this town. What if he follows me home? I downed my meal so fast, while he kept trying to hold my hand and play footsies. I was sweating. But, at the end, I made it clear that there would be no third date.

CLEO: Jesus.

BONNIE: And, she called me after describing what she was last seen wearing, should he have decided to follow.

GWEN: I bumped into him at a show a few months ago. He was there with another girl. I wanted to slip her a note telling her to run, but I didn’t.

BONNIE: Proud of you.

GWEN: Aw, shucks.

CLEO: (Dryly and slightly tipsy. They are all feeling a slight buzz at this point) I once went on a date with a man who polygraphed me and compared himself to a terrorist. (They all stare at her, waiting for her to continue. Rolling her eyes, she continues to explain) He was a mechanical engineer. I began the date with what I thought would be a fun ice breaker. “If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?” For reference, I would be a writer for SNL or an aerial silks artist.

EVE: Obvs.

MAN: Probably something in my field. That I liked.

CLEO: I don’t actually know much about mechanical engineering, shocker, I know, so I asked for some elaboration.

MAN: Oh, ummm, I don’t really know.

CLEO: Don’t you have your masters in mechanical engineering?

MAN: Yeah.

CLEO: Red Flag #1: not knowing anything about the field you have spent your career studying. So, I proceed to talk about my jobs and my eclectic array of past gigs… from balloon animals to working in the pharmacy etcetera, etcetera . I layed it all out for him.

MAN: I don’t believe you.

CLEO: (Laughing, thinking he’s joking) You’re funny

MAN: Give me your arm. Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re telling the truth.

CLEO: What?

MAN: Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re telling the truth.

EVE: Did you do it?

CLEO: (Giving him her arm) Sure did. Then, I realized, he was checking my pulse. This man was checking my pulse to see if I was lying to him. HE WAS POLYGRAPHING ME! Red Flag #2. I ask him about his current job. His engineering job involves mapping out and installing fire sprinklers in large buildings.

MAN: Wearing a hardhat, they let you in anywhere. I could be a terrorist. I could walk into the building with a bomb strapped to my chest and they’d let me in. But, I don’t have the face of a terrorist, so people don’t suspect a thing.

CLEO: That’s when I started trying to flag down our waitress for the check like I was air traffic control. While waiting, he shared a story about how he hopes to write adult comic books about plant superheroes where the pesticides are the villains.

GWEN: Wait—adult comic books, as in adult target audience? Or… plant porn?

CLEO: You think I was waiting around for answers like that? The check hit the table. My money hit the table. My feet hit the ground. Then, because of how the universe works, we both had to walk to the T together. TOGETHER! Fortunately, there was a Red Sox game and they won. So, I easily wedged myself into the sea of red and white never to see him again.

EVE: Baseball saves the day!

CLEO: Yay sports.

GWEN: And thus, the Polygraph Serial Killer was born!

BONNIE: (Spitting out or choking on her water in laughter/shock) THE WHAT?!

GWEN: You know, The Polygraph Serial Killer! The guy- from the story! You know when like, you go on a date with someone and something happens where that becomes their identity almost. Like… eventually you just forget their name and then they’re just ‘The Polygraph Serial Killer’ forever.

BONNIE: Ah, yeah. I have one of those.

GWEN: Just one?! Hah! How when we’ve already named like 8,000 tonight?! Even now! Casino man… Dude from the food court… Gas station creep…

CLEO: And there’s so many more…(to EVE) remember French guy?

EVE: Ugh. I do.

BONNIE: French guy?

EVE: So ,after me and Adam broke up is when the nicknames really started. I went on a whole string of dates and Cleo gave nicknames to them ALL.

CLEO: Oh yeah… there was space man… pizza guy… flower guy… sportsball…

EVE: And frenchie. Or french guy. Whichever.

BONNIE: How romantic.

CLEO: Hardly.

BONNIE: So, what happened?

EVE: His name was … wait for it… Jean. Shocking, I know! He was from France. And, yes, he had an accent. I think he was the second guy on this slew of one-time-dates. A dark time in my life, really.

CLEO: It truly was.

EVE: (Putting on a red coat) It was around the holidays.. Or was just starting to get cold out. Me and Jean made a plan: meet outside of Angelo’s on Main- you know, that Italian place? Meet there, get some dinner, see if there’s a spark and then part ways from there, probably. We didn’t really have any grand plans. So, I got there first and you know and I’m waiting (looking at phone, notification message is heard)

MAN: (From offstage) I’ll be there soon. Just parked.

EVE: (Responding) ‘Okay- great! I’m out front. I’m wearing black jeans and a red coat. See you soon! Smiley face’ (To girls) Now, I don’t know how well you all know that area… but I mean, there’s some stuff there but, there isn’t really a crazy amount. Especially not in the middle of December on a Tuesday night. When it’s freezing. So, anyway, I wait… and

MAN: Eve?

EVE: Hey - Jean?

MAN: Who else? (Small laugh)

EVE: Hah- right! Of course.

MAN: Hey- so, uh, are you hungry?

EVE: Oh yeah. I mean I could eat or I’m okay to wait -

MAN: Well I’m not too hungry yet, should we take a walk first to build up an appetite?

EVE: Oh, well - sure! But where do you want to walk to?

MAN: Well, I don’t think I’m in the mood much for Italian anymore so let’s just go down this way and see what there is.

EVE: So, we go … mind you, he chose Angelo’s. So, I’m just walking around like ‘why choose a place that you don’t want to go to after all for a first date?’ But it’s fine, I let it go. On the walk we talked about:

MAN: (In mid conversation) Work-

EVE: And what we like to -

MAN: Do in your spare time?

EVE: And eventually, we ended up down a bit far away from everything, so I said: “Is this the part where you kill me?”

CLEO: (Excitedly) AND THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT LADIES!

EVE: He was not too amused.

CLEO: But at least ya didn’t die!

EVE: No one murdered anyone. It did prompt us to walk back toward the center.

MAN: Would you be good with this Mexican place, here?

BONNIE: Wait… the one that’s literally right across the street from Angelo’s?

EVE: Yup. So we go. I really didn’t care- it was just …

MAN: There was this wedding I went to, my buddy’s wedding, a few years back. We flew to Italy for it, gorgeous venue along the coast, you can’t even imagine.

EVE: Oh yeah?

MAN: Yeah! Oh, there was so much booze to drink… really a shit ton of booze for everyone to drinks. This wedding, it must have been at least a million dollars spent on it!

EVE: Wow -

MAN: (Overstepping) Yeah! The food was incredible, though (A bit snobby) you would not have had the taste for it.

EVE: Why’s that?

MAN: There was a whole table of fresh fish and a carving station like you have never seen. I don’t think you would have liked it there.

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