#bravery; mavery

[sixsoulsundone]

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The Cure (H.S AU)  Part 14 - “Unrecognizeable”

A/N- trigger warning * Mentions of a character wishing they were dead, self loathing, death, etc

Maverie’s POV

The next thing I knew I was pacing outside the front of the warehouse with the knife clutched at my side. I didn’t dare to look at the others as my feet clomped along the damp gravel. 

Surely I looked like some sort of maniac, but I couldn’t help it. The only thing I felt was rage, and it burned through me stronger than any other need – even the need for even oxygen. I shuffled impatiently as Addilyn, Mitch, and Martin carried Mas- the bodyaway, to bury...it.I couldn’t think of him or it would feel like the walls were closing in all over again. Like the air was thinning. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mitch whisk the tarp covered corpse away as I turned and continued pacing. I heard Harry sigh from behind me as he leaned against the hood of the truck with his arms crossed. He had said his goodbyes earlier, and clearly was too afraid to leave me by myself for fear of what I might do. Rage made a person capable of frightening things.

“Maverie-“ Harry says quietly, trying to pull me back to reality, but I can’t separate my attention from the burning desire to avenge the death of my best friend. The death of the one person who I knewtruly cared for and about me. Sure, Harry had had his moments in the past, but there was no way to know for sure if his intentions were pure. “Maverie, maybe you should go-“

“I can’t Harry,” I snapped slightly, coming to a brisk halt. I spin around to face him as I fight back the sadness threatening to creep back into my mind. “I can’t be a part of it, it hurts too damn much,” a sighed exasperatedly as I turned back around so as to allude the subject all together. But it was then that I knew he cared, as he kept trying to pull me back from the edge.

“So, what are you going to do?” he asked monotone. I didn’t hesitate as the image of Murphy’s face burned in my mine.

“I-I’m gonna kill him,” I declared, “I don’t care what you have to say. He doesn’t get to live after what he’s done to us, to youHarry,” I confess. Fuck,I think, Did I just give myself away? Did I just expose the way I feel about him…”besides, he’ll just keep following us. Mas-“ I winced slightly, “hedied for my cause – he died so I can get to Washington, and I can stop all of this monstrosity,” I say in revelation, turning back to face him once more.

He scoffs, pushing himself off of the truck, as he paces toward me, “you think he died for your causeMaverie?!” He whisper-shouts, looking to his side to see if any of the others heard him, he shakes his head in disbelief with a smile that mocked amusement, clearly frustrated by what I had said, he uncrosses his arms and stops before me, looking straight into my eyes.“He didn’t die for your ‘cause’ Maverie, he died because he fucking loved you!” he whispered angrily.

I blink confused by his statement, shaking my head, “no, Harry, he-“

“Yes, Maverie! He died because he bloody loved you,” he takes one step closer, as I drown in thought…How did I not see it? This is all my fault!My eyes clench shut tightly and my jaw tightens at the aching hole in my chest. I flinch, and my eyes snap open as I gasp quietly when I feel gentle fingertips brush along my cheek, reaching a strand of my hair to tuck it behind my left ear, with his right hand, as he pauses, searching my eyes before confessing, “and I don’t blame him,” as he furrows his brows, whilst taking in my expression.I close my eyes and pull my head to the right avoiding his touch, and his gaze. “He died because he doesn’t just want you to survive he wants you to live,” My heart is dying for him to tell me how he really feels, while my mind is shoving my heart aside, and reminding the rational side of me that I don’t deserve this. My left arm reaches over and caresses the right, as I think. My time on this earth is limited, and that I have to do what the fire inside me burns for me to do.

“I’m gonna kill him Harry,” I murmur, staring off into the distance of tattered cityscape in which Murphy made his escape, racing through the muddy outskirts of the small city.

“No your not,” he interrupts, and I turn to look at him in confusion as I near the point of frustration. He crosses his arms, as he clarifies, “weare. We’regoing to finish this, together, but you have to be ready first.”

“I am ready,” I nod to him enthusiastically. He smiles slightly, nodding as he shoves his hands in his front pockets, making the muscles in his arms bulge.

“Mentally, I have absolutely no doubt in you, Maverie. But, physically, there’s some things that you need to know how to do first. Shooting a gun isn’t always an option, and to get past everyone in that base to find him, you have to be ready. You have to know how to reallyfight. Hand-to-hand, and with a knife.”

He’s right.

“So train me,” I propose. Pulling my arms to my sides, I stare straight into the green irises of his eyes. He smirks slightly.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” he tries to lighten the mood. No, my mind cries as I think to what Harry told Mason a few days ago. ‘Don’t forget who taught you how to do all of that.’There’s no doubt in my mind that Mason would have made a much more patient teacher, but I have no choice. I have to trust Harry with my life…again. I had no doubt in him, just as he secretly had no doubt in me, but I faltered for a mere instant.

“Yes,” I said tilting my chin upward slightly to show him that I was no longer afraid. Of anythingor anyone. He looks somewhat surprised, disappointed even, in my decision, but closes his parted mouth and nods calmly to me.

“There’s a few places we can bounce between in the area while we make sure you’re ready.” I nod, as the sound of the soles of the others shoes shuffling amongst the gravel tells me it is time to go. I begin making my way passed Harry, towards the passenger door of the truck, but am stopped by his hand gently stopping me by slipping around my upper right arm. I look up to him confused.

“Once we start this…there’s no going back,” he whispers, his breath fanning across the side of my face. I stand on my tip toes and turn my head to whisper directly in his ear in one moment of bold bravery.

“Good,” I say, sliding my arm free of his grip, I swing the car door open and slide in.  

Harry’s POV

When something that seems simple becomes complicated, no one wins. When what seems like a mere means to an end becomes something more, there has to be someone at fault. In this case, It was me. In an attempt to save her life, I sent her running, and Mason sacrificed himself for her. I couldn’t hold it against him – because though I could never admit it, I wouldn’t have let her die either. He died because he loved her, and I was shocked that she was unable to see the way he felt about her. ‘I don’t blame him,’ I can’t believe I said that shit out loud.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the way she was before all of this – before she lost the one person who never failed to show her how he felt. Why couldn’t I do that? I’m such a fucking coward. I spent my whole life being afraid to show any form of vulnerability, or emotion. I refused to be seen as weak to those who dared to challenge my strength or authority. Yet, a part of me felt that she was somehow breaking that wall down in stealth, where I had too lookto see where I may have been too transparent in my feelings. I didn’t have thosekind of feelings for her but I had grown sympathetic to her, and I did genuinely care about how she felt. Why do I care about how she feels?It’s so unlike me yet I can’t help it, I admired her strength and she was growing on me as a person. I didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t be herself anymore, so I tried to show a gentler side to me, yet she brushed it aside. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get her back to normal, but I’ll do whatever it takes for her to feel something again. Anger, sadness, hell, even hatred towards me for ruining our plan – I didn’t want her to see me kill those men. I didn’t want her to see me as someone ruthless and capable of such blind, merciless killing. I played it off like I wasn’t effected but at the end of the day, I’d do anything to protect the people I lov- I mean, I care about. I think she was starting to realize this. What she meant, I wasn’t entirely sure of just yet, but I now realize I have to do my best to try and hide it, because if I don’t she’ll realize that she means more to me than just a cure for the undead virus. I care for her regardless, but she doesn’t need to be burdened by that.

I turned and glanced briefly at her as she traced the piece of broken glass with her left hand, leaning her head in her right with her elbow propped against the door. 

The near two-month old bite on her palm had completely scarred over, leaving blisters and indications of what wouldhave been the virus in its wake, and they poked out of the scar from the window only a week ago, just below her chin. She was only human – circumstance made her extraordinary. I turned my focus back to the road ahead of me stealing a quick look at the map, I turn down a road entering the deadest, darkest portion of the city. The information gifted to her indicated the nearby convention center had ample supplies andrunning water. The thought of being able to relieve myself of the grime that coated my skin brought a small amount of joy to my mind, before remembering that I had lost the person that was like a little brother to me. A glimmer of pain ran through me before I turned the truck onto the road of the convention center. The path was a long windy driveway that lead up to a hotel-like building complete with the roundabout entrance. I brought the truck around to the back of the building in order to keep our vehicles out of sight from any one who could come looking for us. Once I shifted the gear into park, the truck jolted gently, indicating that the breaks had locked the car in place. The Civic pulled up next to us, and Mitch did the same. Maverie was the first to grab her stuff and make haste around to the front of the building, and she did so without looking nor uttering a word to any of us. I found myself staring as she walked away, and felt my eyebrows scrunch together as I thought.

I heard the tapping of Martin’s cane and turned to my right with my arms crossed. I leaned back against the truck casually as he sent me a knowing smile.

“Remind you of anyone?” he asked. I rolled my eyes slightly. Not this again,I thought, but I knew that the wise man was right. “She’s a lot like you, you know?” he says, tilting his head to show he felt full confidence in his statement. I turn and stare as she kicks up dust in her wake with each brisk step.

“Do you think she’ll ever be herself again?” I asked, looking him in the eye. He seemed surprised by my sudden display of concern as his eyebrows perked up at the sound of my question. He then smiles slightly.

“You came back, didn’t you?” he tilts his head at his rhetorical question before slowly walking away. Sneaky old man, I thought to myself, before half-smiling, as I turned to grab my stuff from the bed of the truck. If only you really knew, Martin.

Maverie’s POV

As we entered the convention center, there was furniture and several help-desks scattered across the lobby. Surely, this made for good cover during a gunfight. I felt safer, as we divided up by gender – boys in one conference room, girls in the other. I would have been perfectly happy just keeping to myself until Harry gathered me for training in the morning, until Addilyn approached me slowly with a flimsy hardcover book in her hand. I was lying on one of the couches we dragged in, with my feet propped up at the other end atop the armrest, carelessly reading something called a comic book, that I had stumbled across when we raided what I was told used to be a Library.

It seems silly, doesn’t it? To have a room dedicated entirely to relaxation and leisure reading when at any moment the world could end. I certainly wouldn’t want to be reading this comic – The Walking Dead I think its called? I don’t know. I just needed a distraction, and I needed it to be a useful one. I figured maybe there’d be something we can either do or use to our advantage in here. So far I’m on the fifth book.

But, my eyes wandered to Addilyn’s hand, which clutched the old tattered distressed book. There was no cover, nor was there a title on the front, which perplexed me. Surely this book had some sort of name.

“Hey,” she murmured quietly, crouching  beside my. I tore my eyes from the book and instead flipped to the next page in my comic, sighing.

“Hey,” I replied, with a lackluster enthusiasm. My eyes scanned the images and text as she cleared her throat before continuing.

“So, I was looking through-,” knowing what she was going to say I turned my head and raised my eyebrow at her. Knowing that I knew, she sputtered for a moment trying to find the right words, I was sorting through some, uhm…stuff, and I found this.” She says, lifting the book to my eyesight.

“…ok?” I said quietly shrugging not quite knowing what she was implying. I felt the urge to role my eyes in her failure to get to the point, but resisted it. Her son did just die. And he died to save my pathetic life.

“It was,uh, it was...his.” she says with an explanatory nod. I can tell she’s trying not to cry, yet it doesn’t effect my stoney blank expression. She reaches the book out towards me, nudging almost. “It was his journal,” she says shakily.

“I don’t want it,” I state, and turn back to my comic, picking it up from my lap.

“M-maverie, there’s things that he wrote in here, things about you, and I just think you should read what he had to say-“

“I said I don’t want it, okay?!” I snap a little more sternly. She falters for a moment, lowering her head with an understanding nod. She sighs and reaches up to wipe her tears carefully.

“I’ll just leave it hear in case you change your mind,” she mumbles in defeat, placing the ‘journal’ on the ground beside the couch. I feel a pang of guilt wash over me as I was so quick to raise my voice at her. My eyes then wander to the doorway of the conference room, in which Harry’s tall, lean figure is leaning against the frame. I feel bile in my throat and the guilt is washed away as I realize they were testing me. I keep my eyes locked to his green ones from a distance, as I flick the comic book shut and swivel my legs back onto the ground before standing and tossing the magazine to my side.

“I need some air,” I state firmly as I rush passed Harry, and across the lobby to the metal door with the handle which was labeled ‘Women’s’ and swing it open forcefully. I stop and strand in front of the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. My once hazel-green eyes had grown a sad shade of grayish green, and my face was covered in splotches of dust that stuck by the tackiness of my sweat. Violet bags had formed under my eyes through lack of sleep and stress as murphy had changed the entire game. Sighing, I turn the faucet on, and lean forward cupping the cool water in my hands before raising it to my face to scrub my dirt mask clean. I rose back with my spine straight, and opened the cabinet underneath to find some towels. I wiped my face dry, and winced slightly when I applied pressure to the scars on my face. I pulled the towel back and traced them with my fingers. When did I become this ugly person? I don’t even recognize myself. I was hiding behind the fire the sparked my rage and continued to dance beyond my eyes. Knowing I could sit here for hours and never know where everything truly went wrong, I turned around to exit the bathroom with a sigh, tossing the towel onto the counter behind me. The moment I swung the door back open, I began to pace towards the front door of the lobby. I need air, I thought to myself, as I overheard Mitch when passing the conference rooms.

“You should have just let her die,” he spat angrily at someone, “she would have deserved it. She’s ruining our lives, ruining our chances at havinglives.” Yeah, I thought, maybe you should have. He had to have been talking to Harry, as he was technically the one who saved my life alongside Mason. It didn’t even sting anymore to hear his name, or to think of him. I felt hollow, and an empty coldness inside my body. It was my constant reminder that it should have been me. I brushed off my thoughts as I pushed the front doors open and made my way for the bench near the door. I sat down with a side and began to inhale the fresh air like my life depended on it because it did. It was the only thing I could truly depend on anymore. I closed my eyes and allowed the one certain thing in my life to fill up my lungs and leave them, repeating over and over. This is all I have left, other than putting an end to Murphy. Physically, I couldn’t hold onto it, but I clutched onto the fact I am still breathing with my entire heart and what was left of my being. You should be afraid, Murphy,I thought to myself, because when I find you, there will be no mercy.

[sixsoulsundone]

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