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fanfic-inator795 · 7 years ago

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OK KO Oneshot: Blorpers Gonna Blorp

Plot: When an annoying meme comes back from the dead, it’s nice to have people - specifically a slightly obnoxious robotic boyfriend - by your side.

((Sorry about the stupid title, lol. But yeah, I’m not hugely into the Radmond ship personally, but at the same time I think it’s pretty cute and I’ve had this idea for a while so, why not write it? Anyway, enjoy!))

To the two of them, actually being a couple wasn’t too hard. Sure, both of them admittedly had quite a bit of pride and Rad did struggle with showing his true feelings at times (though he had been slowly improving at it, much to the delight of his boyfriend and co-workers). However, after the initial confession and whatever embarrassment or nerves that came with it, the actual act of being in a relationship was pretty much smooth sailing! Even their contrasting alignments to ‘good’ and ‘evil’ respectfully didn’t provide much conflict!

...Setting up dates on the other hand was quite the challenge. With one working a full time job and the other being at the beck-and-call of his father and his missions, it was pretty difficult to find time where they were not only both free but were sure that they wouldn’t get annoyingly interrupted.

Still, they took whatever they could get, hence why Raymond would usually make his way to the plaza around the same time every day, about when Rad’s lunch break started. And, luckily for the alien, Enid would usually let him be a few minutes late getting back, just as long as he brought her back a small snack from wherever they decided to eat.

Today it was this small diner just about a block or so away from the plaza, recommended specifically by Mr. Logic since they were one of the few places that served several dishes that catered specifically to robotic tastes. Definitely a plus!

“Mmm! The mix of olive oil and engine oil with just a dash of soy sauce is practically decadent! Are you sure you don’t to try a bite, Radicles?”

“Nah man, I’m good,” Rad replied, “I mean, not that my totally stomach can’t handle it but, gotta save room for dessert, you know?”

The green bot shrugged. “Alright, fair enough. ...Besides-” He gave a small smirk, “I suppose if you ever just wanted to experience the taste of it without actually eating it, I’m sure I could easily help you out with that~”

Rad stared, taking a moment to realize what Raymond was getting at - and once he did he practically set off one of his blush blasts. Still, Rad smirked back at him. “Heh, if you’re suggesting a quick make-out sess before I have to get back, I’m preeeetty sure that that can be a-

“RAD!” Radicles flinched at the sudden squeal while Raymond just blinked in surprise. Who in the world-?

And just like that, the couple’s casual lunch-date went from private to VERY public, with several people now surrounding their table. They didn’t look familiar, Raymond was certain he hadn’t seen them around the plaza. However, all of them knew (or at least acted like they knew) Rad, who was clearly forcing a smile back at them despite how much he was trying to shrink down in his seat. Some of them were even dressed like Rad, complete with blue shirts, pink pants and homemade antennas!

“Wow, it’s been forever since your video!” one guy said, “It’s practically a classic now!”

“Yeah, when’s you’re next one?” a fangirl asked, “I bet it’ll be just as hilarious as the last one!”

Still trying to force a smile, Rad rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away from his ‘fans’. “Heh, well, comedy genius takes time, ya know? You can’t rush it if-”

“Umm, don’t you mean blorp-edy genius~?” Another fan retorted, causing the rest of them to fall into a fit of laughter.

Raymond raised an eyebrow. “Blorp-edy...? Rad, what-?” As he turned his attention back towards his boyfriend, his question almost immediately died in his throat once he saw the expression on Rad’s face.

There wasn’t even a fake smile there anymore. There was however annoyance, anger, frustration... Maybe even a bit of hurt. And that bit was too much, at least for Raymond.

Gritting his metal teeth, the bot turned back to the fans, who had thankfully started to quiet down (though their smug smiles and clueless grins were still enough to anger the bot). “Excuse me, but I don’t believe any of you were invited to our lunch - a lunch, by the way, not some blooper reel screening! So-” His arm began to shift into a laser cannon, “If you don’t mind, I think it’s time to-

“UHH TIME TO get going back to work!” Rad quickly interrupted, sitting up now. He also gave Raymond a small kick in the shin, and while it didn’t hurt, his boyfriend quickly got the message and (reluctantly) deactivated his weapon. “Heh, yeah, I should get going back to the bodega soon so, we should probably finish eating.”

Of course, the fans gave him a disappointed look, but thankfully they didn’t try to argue. “Alright, have a good lunch, Rad!” “Yeah Rad, we’ll BLORP you later!” “Heh, and don’t forget to get your leftover food to blorp!” “Bleeble blorple!” The fans laughed again, being loud enough that the couple could still hear the chuckles even as they walked out and past the diner.

“Ugh...” Rad facepalmed, slouching back into his seat. “Just when I thought it was finally done...” Then again, was anything ever truly forgotten on the internet?

“...Radicles?” The alien glanced up, catching the bot’s concerned look. “Hmph... You should have let me take that penalty shot,” he grumbled, “I think they more than earned one for upsetting you.”

“Hey hey, it’s fine!” Rad insisted, forcing another smile (and causing Raymond’s frown to deepen), “Tc’ch, it’s just some dumb meme that I accidentally created! People repeat memes, it’s just somethin’ you gotta deal with! Besides, it takes more than some dumb ‘fans’ to keep me down for too long! Really, babe, it’s fine!”

“Well, if you’re sure...” Raymond still didn’t quite believe it though, especially since his date spent the rest of their lunch hour together being pretty quiet and only picking at the rest of his food. Still, Rad tried to at least look like he was enjoying himself though, even giving the bot a quick kiss on the cheek after they walked back to Gar’s together. But even so, it was easy for Raymond to tell that what those ‘fans’ of his had said was still bothering his boyfriend.

Determined and still annoyed at the situation, Raymond activated the jets in his feet and flew back over to Boxmore. “Perhaps I should look more into this ‘blorp’...” And, as soon as he touched down on the factory’s roof and his mind connected to the wifi Boxman had set up, that’s exactly what he did.

“Okay,” he said, closing his eyes and sitting down as he mentally opened up a browser window, “What are the search results for ‘blorp’...” He was pretty sure that was how it was spelled. It certainly came up with enough results, with one of the top ones being connected to a Planet X dictionary. But without a doubt, the most popular result was a six-second video that had well over several million views. And, in the screenshot for it, was none other than Radicles. Raymond quickly selected the video.

“Rad rocket’s on the roof ready to roll!” *crash* “BLORP!”

“Pfft.” Raymond couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Alright, maybe that was funny. A bit embarrassing perhaps but... Where was all the grief coming from? “There has to be more,” he mumbled as the clip continued repeating. Pushing away the video, he continued to search through the results.

Beyond the initial video and results that it only referred to the word itself, there were mostly forums. ...Many, many MANY forums. And, in Raymond’s opinion, almost none of them even had a scrap of information! All of them were just people simply reposting the video or screenshots from it, writing comments, and posting images with Rad’s face photo-shopped onto them, usually referencing the fact that he was an alien. The images weren’t too bad, but the comments...

“Grop he is just SOOOO funny!!! If all aliens were this funny, maybe we’d see more of them around!”

“Such a goof! Blorp me up, lol!”

“Why hasn’t this guy made more blorpin’ videos already?!”

“Omfg haha, so stupid! aliens gonna blorp!”

“So great! Heh, wonder how many times he blorps up when the camera’s NOT rolling?”

“BLORP BLORP! Hehe, so weird, but still so funny! Blorpy blorp bloop!”

“...Okay, now I’m starting to get it.” Raymond sighed, shifting his mind off ‘internet mode’ before opening his eyes. “No wonder he was so annoyed... Ugh, those fairweather ‘fans’ aren’t even fans of him! They’re just fans of blorp and whatever other ‘wacky alien’ thing they like about him!” Honestly! It was like those old cartoons that he and his siblings had found from centuries ago where the robots were complete jokes or only spoke in beeps and boops! So insulting!

“If they truly knew what Radicles was like, they wouldn’t even care about blorp because-!” He paused. “...Because there would be too many other things to like about him.” Slowly, the bot smiled.

Maybe that was the real answer he had been searching for.

()()()()()()()()()

“Oh, hey Rad. Do you think you can move some of those power-ups boxes we got today out here so we don’t have to worry about getting them tomorrow?”

Rad gave a small groan, but sat up from his spot anyway. “Fine, whatever.” He headed towards the loading dock, not even noticing that his youngest co-worker was watching him.

“...Psst, Enid!” KO whispered, “I think something’s wrong with Rad!”

“Yeah, maybe,” Enid said as she sat up, taking her feet off the counter and instead choosing to lean on her arms, “He’s been lazier than usual, and he’s not even enjoying it.”

“Yeah! And he hasn’t made any jokes, or tried to show how tough he is, or anything like that!” KO added, getting more concerned, “He just seems so down!”

“Well, maybe he’s just having a bad day?” Enid shrugged, “Nothing a little sleep can’t fix, probably. Or maybe he just had a bad date with Raymond?” KO hummed, thinking about it. Either of those could have been the reason... But before he could agree or offer up any theories of his own, a familiar voice caught their attention.

“While you’re certainly close to figuring out, you’re still throwing air balls.” The two employees turned around, spotting Raymond casually posing against a rack of fruit-themed attack projectiles.

“How did you get in here without us noticing?” KO asked while Enid just rolled her eyes at the bot.

Of course, Raymond ignored them both and walked further into the store, towards the back. “Besides, knowing why he’s upset won’t change much,” he added in a lower voice, “After all, no one can destroy something once it becomes memetic.” But there was something he could do to maybe counteract it...

No sooner had he reached the back of the Bodega, Rad returned with several floating boxes surrounded in pink aura. “Hm?” he blinked, “Uhh, what are you doing here, Ray?”

“Just thought I’d stop by for a bit to talk with my favorite Bodega worker~” Raymond replied simply, “Maybe brighten up the last few minutes of your shift with my presence.”

“Tc’ch.” Despite everything, Rad couldn’t help but give a small smile. “Alright, works for me.” With that, he began stacking the crates against the wall.

Raymond hummed as he watched him. “Though, I must say, my dear Radicles, you’re quite the all-star yourself.”

“Real- er, heh, yeah I am,” Rad nodded.

“You’ve got plenty of power and strength. Why, I’m sure you’ll even level up soon! Your fingerblasts are very useful, and you’re able to apply them to your own style of fighting, making them all the more unique - just like you! Plus you’re light on your feet, very useful!”

“Uh huh,” Rad nodded again as he continued stacking boxes, though his boyfriend’s compliment marathon was far from over.

“But it’s not just power and fighting that keeps you at the top of the starting line-up, oh no. I’d also say you’ve very stylish, much more stylish than other bots- er, people - that I see each day! You’re also very charming-”

Raymond paused, hearing a small snicker. He shot Enid a quick glare before continuing. “As I was SAYING, you’re very charming - from your interesting conversation topics to your wits, your dancing, your flirting. Why, I’d say you’re one of the most unique and most exceptional organic beings that I’ve ever-”

“Okay.” Rad dropped the last box he was holding and turned to face his boyfriend, giving him a look.

Raymond blinked. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Well, no but-” Rad crossed his arms, not looking angry or even annoyed by any means, but still looking a bit confused. “Look, I get that couples are supposed to compliment each other and stuff, and yeah all the things you’re saying are totally true but, don’t you think you’re laying it on just a little too thick? Seriously, Ray, what’s up?”

“...Well...” Raymond sighed, deflating slightly. This wasn’t going quite as well as he assumed it would. “I just thought that, well, after what happened at lunch, you could use some comments that weren’t just jokes at your expense... Comments that were genuine, and that were from someone who actually knew you and admired you - and not just the things you’ve said - and who-” He cleared his throat, his face heating up slightly. “Who... cares about you. I just didn’t want you feeling like everyone just saw you as a joke or a meme or whatever.”

“...” Rad turned his head away, staying silent as Raymond watched him blink a few times, and even giving a small sniffle. However, once Rad looked back over at him, the only thing on his face was a big - and genuine - smile.

“Heh... Like I said,” Rad told his boyfriend as he stepped forward, “I already knew all the things you said about me, but-” He leaned forward, allowing their noses to touch (surprisingly, Raymond’s nose wasn’t nearly as deadly as it looked). “But it, you know... It still means a lot to hear it from someone who does care. Thanks, Raymond.”

With that, Rad moved his head over slightly. Knowing now what he was planning on doing, Raymond happily lifted his own head up slightly, allowing their lips to meet.

Once their kiss broke though, Rad did add one last thing. “And just so you know, babe... I think you’re pretty great too. Great AND unique, no matter how many other Raymonds there are.”

Raymond smirked. “Of course. Coach Boxdad made me to be the greatest after all. But, it sounds even greater coming from you~” And with that, the couple shared another kiss.

“Aww!” KO smiled, clapsing his hands together, “That’s so sweet!”

“Heh, yeah yeah,” Enid smirked, “Hey Rad, just remember you’re still on the clock for another half hour! So let’s wrap it up, okay?” Though, even if her co-worker didn’t get much else done that night, she didn’t think she would mind - at least, not tonight.

Sure, Rad and Raymond could sometimes be annoying or frustrating on their own. But together, they really were a sweet sight.

THE END

((First OK KO fic so, hope everyone was in-character and that you all enjoyed reading! ^v^))

#ok ko let's be heroes #radicles #raymond ok ko #radmond #oneshot #my writing #fanfiction

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