#boomer scenes in the pit here kids

[silveredsound]

loml . love on tour 24/02/23 . Melb Night 1

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #15 (1980)

If the story so far had revealed that Cerebus has a vagina, I could make a hentai joke here.

The first time I encountered hentai was at an anime convention at a Red Lion Inn in San Jose in 1994 or 1995. I went to the convention by myself because I had recently fallen in love with the cartoon Sailor Moon and wanted to get some Sailor Moon LaserDiscs unless it was actually Sailor Moon dolls I wanted. It was so long ago, how am I supposed to remember?! They had a room where they were showing movies and one of the movies I watched was Sailor Moon R: The Movie. It was subtitled which was great because then I had the story memorized for all the times I watched my non-subtitled LaserDisc. But that wasn't the pornographic anime I saw! I don't even remember what that was but I watched some tentacle fucking movie late at night in a dark room with a bunch of other sweaty nerds. I didn't know that was what was going to happen though so I didn't have my dick in my hands like the other guys probably did. I was as shocked as anybody when they first find out that cartoons where women get fucked by tentacles exist! I mean, how many penises does an alien need?! I grew up thinking the little gray aliens had zero! That Red Lion Inn was the same one where I played in a couple of Magic the Gathering tournaments. Being in a dark room with a bunch of horny anime fans was less awkward and uncomfortable than playing Magic the Gathering against Magic the Gathering fans. Most of them probably couldn't believe they were actually playing against such a cool and handsome dude. It really threw them off their game when I would say things like, "Yeah, I've touched a couple of boobs. I attack with my Serra Angel." I know what you're thinking: "Anime, comic books, and Magic the Gathering?! This awesome dude must have owned every single Stars Wars figure too!" Aw, you're too kind! I'm blushing! But obviously I never owned Yak Face. "A Note from the Publisher" is still being published so I guess Dave and Deni are still married. In his Swords of Cerebus essay, Dave Sim discusses "Why Groucho?" It seems to mostly come down to this: Dave Sim enjoyed the characters of Groucho Marx as a teenager and memorized a lot of their lines. He also mentions Kim Thompson's review of Cerebus in The Comic Journal (the first major review of the series) in which Kim praised Sim's ability to make his parody characters transcend the parody to become unique creations of their own. This review gave Sim the confidence to put Groucho in the role of Lord Julius. Which worked out so well that Sim later adds Oscar Wilde, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Margeret Thatcher, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Woody Allen, Dave Sim, and the Three Stooges into the story. I'm sure I'm missing some but I can't remember every aspect of this 6000 page story. Was The Judge also a parody of somebody? Was the Regency Elf based on Wendy Pini? I don't know! I'm sure I'm missing a lot of references in Cerebus simply because I haven't experienced all the same knowledge sources as Dave Sim. Just like I'm missing a super duper lot of references in Gravity's Rainbow because nobody in the history of ever has experienced all the same knowledge sources as Thomas Pynchon. I've been reading Gravity's Rainbow (for the first time but also the third time because I'm basically reading it three times at the same time. You'll understand when you read it) and I'm surprised by how funny it is. I don't think anybody ever described it as funny or else I'm sure I would never have stopped reading it multiple times prior to this time when I'm actually going to finish it. Although I suppose when I read Catch-22, I had done so on my own so nobody ever told me how funny that book was either. But for some reason, Catch-22 lets you know it's going to be a funny book pretty quickly. Gravity's Rainbow is all, "Here is a description of an evacuation of London which is just stage setting because, you know, the bombs have already blown up, but it makes people feel safe. And after that, how about a scene where this guy makes a bunch of banana recipes for breakfast. Is that funny enough for you?" Oh, sure, there are some funny moments like when that one guy pretends a banana is his cock and then some other guys tackle him and beat him with his own pretend cock. But there's a gravity to the scene that doesn't lend itself to the reader thinking, "Oh, this is a funny book!" But if you make it far enough, you start realizing, "Hey! I'm not understanding this!" So then you reread the section and you start realizing, "Hey! I'm laughing at this stuff! This is pretty funny!" Plus there are a lot of descriptions of sexy things that I'm assuming are really accurate because Pynchon is obsessed with details.

Anyway, I was supposed to be talking about Cerebus, wasn't I?

A Living Priest of Tarim crashes Lord Julius' bath to scold him about a party Julius is giving in a fortnight (which is the amount of time your kid has lost to a video game). I don't know why the priest has to declare he's a living priest. You can tell that by the way he's shouting and foaming at the mouth. Although this is a Swords & Sorcery book so I suppose there are many dead creatures that also shout and foam at the mouth. Sometimes I forget I'm reading a fictional book and wind up ranting and raving about stuff that I'm supposed to just assume is fine. Like when I read The Flash and nothing in it makes any sense at all because The Flash should never have any trouble stopping crime or saving people from natural disasters. The comic book should be over in two pages. Even the writers, at some point, realized how ridiculous Flash stories were and decided the only way to make them believable was to have The Flash battle other super fast people. But that just meant Flash stories basically became bar-room brawls. Two people with super speed fighting is the same as reading a story about two people without super speed fighting. Boring! Some writers even decided that maybe a telepathic monkey would make things more interesting and I suppose telepathic monkeys make everything more interesting so kudos to them. I was going to go on a long rant about telepathic monkeys but then I realized how much I love the idea of telepathic monkeys so why should I create an argument against them? More telepathic monkeys, please.

This made me laugh out loud. Not as much as the chapter in Gravity's Rainbow where the old woman forces Slothrop to eat a bunch of terrible candies. But then it isn't a competition, is it? I mean, I guess it's a competition for my time which is why I haven't written a comic book review in a week or more. Blame Thomas Pynchon for being so entertaining (and also Apex).

Baskin, the Minister for Executive Planning, has come to let Lord Julius know what the revolutionaries have revealed while being tortured. The only bit of useful information was one prisoner's last words: "Revolution...the pits." Cerebus immediately assumes "the Pits" is a location and not a summation of the prisoner's feelings about revolution which led to torture which led to his death. Cerebus, being the Kitchen Staff Supervisor, begins an investigation into The Pits. His first step: threatening the Priest of the Living Tarim. Which makes me realize I transposed the word "living" in the previous encounter with the priest and went on a digression that makes no sense to anybody who has read and somehow remembers that particular panel. I'm sure they were scoffing and snorting and exclaiming to their pet rat, "What a stupid fool loser this Grunion Guy is! Living Priest of Tarim! HA! Ridiculous! What a moronic mistake! He has made a gigantic fool of himself!" I don't know that the almost certainly imaginary people who called me on my mistake as they read this have a pet rat but I do know there almost certainly isn't another imaginary sentient being in the room with them. Cerebus learns that The Pits are Old Palnu that lies under current Palnu. It was destroyed in a massive earthquake long ago and the new city built over the top of it. It's like a Dungeons & Dragons module but with a lot less treasure.

This scene reminded me that I need to finish rereading The Boomer Bible: A Testament for Our Times (which is what it was called in the 90s but is just as accurate for today).

Cerebus and Lord Julius engage in another typical misunderstanding (it's not hard when only half of the people in the conversation care about making sense) which ends up with Lord Julius deciding that the location for the Festival of Petunias will be The Pits. This complicates Cerebus' job of not allowing Lord Julius to be assassinated because the assassins are most likely housed in The Pits (along with their giant snakes (*see cover)). Lord Julius, Baskin, and Cerebus descend into The Pits to find a suitable location for the Festival of Petunias. In doing so, they wind up in a trap and confronted by a masked revolutionary of the "Eye of the Pyramid." Which is odd because you usually have to murder at least a dozen kobolds and several goblins before you reach the room with the boss in it.

Typical unbalanced beginning level module. A giant snake as the first encounter!

Cerebus manages to defeat the giant snake by crashing it headfirst into a wall. The wall winds up being a key support structure and the roof collapses. Everybody makes it out alive but the masked revolutionary evades capture. He will be back next issue to ruin the Festival of Petunias. Aardvark Comment is still just a mostly standard comic book letters page. I'll probably stop discussing it until people start criticizing Dave. Right now it's just "This comic book is great!" and "Keep writing, Dave, and I'll never think ill of anything idea you espouse!" while Dave replies, "I owe my fans everything! I can't wait until I can stop feeling that way and start jerking off onto my art boards and selling those as pages of Cerebus!" Cerebus #15 Rating: A. Good story, good Lord Julius dialogue, good Living Priest of the Living Tarim scenes. I wholeheartedly endorse this comic book and Dave Sim. No way a guy with a sense of humor like this is going to go off the rails, right?!

[disappointingyet]

Ten Thousand Saints Directors Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini Stars Asa Butterfield, Hailee Steinfeld, Ethan Hawke, Emile Hirsch USA 2015 Language English 1hr 53mins Colour 

Mediocre, gloomy conjuring up of the slam dancing ’80s 

There’s a rich history of feature films set in music subcultures, sometimes great, often rotten in fascinating ways. I’ll always be grateful, for instance, I saw the absorbingly terrible G:MT, which aimed to capture the jazzy-souly tail end of drum’n’bass in London*. They can, like that film, attempt to show what’s going on right now (meaning that it will almost always be out-of-date by the time the film makes it on to the screen), or go for pop cultural archeology, as Ten Thousand Saints does. This gloomy teen drama takes us, in a somewhat half-hearted manner, back to the heyday of straight edge in the late 1980s.

Straight edge was/is an aggressively puritan movement within hardcore punk, whose adherents avoided drink, drugs (including tobacco and often caffeine) and casual sex. Veganism was not obligatory but apparently most chose it anyway.

In Ten Thousand Saints, straight edge mostly seems to function as a rebellious rebuke to the characters’ hippy parents. The standard gag in the 1980s was that baby boomers were shocked that their kids were Reaganite breadheads (eg, the sitcom Family Ties), but here we have a noisier rejection of dope & free love. 

There’s a trio of youngish types at the heart of the story. Jude (Asa Butterfield), who is in his late teens and stranded in deepest Vermont, loves hardcore but is far from straight edge in his habits. Eliza (Hailee Steinfeld) is the hip, very New York daughter of a British ex-ballet dancer (Emily Mortimer). Eliza’s mum is in a relationship with Jude’s estranged, wayward pot grower/dealer dad (Ethan Hawke, but you’d worked that out already, right?). And Johnny (Emile Hirsch) is the singer in straight edge band called Army Of One – he lives in a squat in Alphabet City, at that point still considered a no-go zone by many New Yorkers. The three are forever linked, whether they like it or not, when SOMETHING VERY BAD HAPPENS.

I keep wanting to say that Ten Thousand Saints is melodramatic, but that makes it sound more fun than it is. It has the portentous, earnest gloom of a young adult novel. If someone takes mushrooms, for instance, you know they are going to have a bad trip. If a vulnerable person heads out on the streets after an argument, they will get caught up in a riot.

This is one of those films that serves mostly as a way of reminding you of better films, and showing how easy it is to get things wrong. Ethan Hawke’s not-as-cool-as-he-thinks dad is a much weaker version of the character he plays in Boyhood. The clumsy way that the SOMETHING VERY BAD affects everything else in the film demonstrates how brilliantly Kenneth Lonergan handled guilt and grief in Margaret and Manchester By The Sea. And any other teen punk film makes me wish I was watching We Are The Best! (Incidentally, the IMDB suggests Ten Thousand Saints is a comedy. By god, it isn’t – there’s barely a laugh in it). 

Nor is Ten Thousand Saints an interesting look at a scene. Other than the rather tiresome Johnny, the straight edgers are barely sketched in at all. There are a couple of mosh pit scenes, but they give you little sense of the weird, brutal form of entertainment/ritual that takes place when sweaty young men violently crash into each other. And presumably worried that the audience would be scared off by endless Minor Threat and Youth Of Today, the filmmakers have generously sprinkled the soundtrack with friendlier college radio staples of the time: The Replacements’ Sixteen Blue (a great song, admittedly), REM’s Fall On Me (likewise, actually – I’m always surprised to be reminded that they were once good), The Cure’s Let’s Go To Bed…

If you want a fiction film about US punk culture, then while Penelope Spheeris’ 1983 film Suburbia may not be a great piece of storytelling, it is tangibly authentic. Meanwhile Repo Man is decidedly less for real, but is a great movie. And if you want to see what NYC actually looked and felt like back then, there are any number of options that beat this stagey approximation.

Ten Thousand Saints feels like an opportunity wasted – much of the cast is good (I liked Julianne Nicholson a lot as Jude’s mother), the book it is based on is apparently terrific, and I think there an interesting pro-gentrification argument hiding in there somewhere. But what we have instead is predictable, trite and heavy-handed.

*Starring a young Chiwetel Ejiofor, I discover.

[timows-turf]

TODAY, October 23, 2017 marks the 64th anniversary of Philippine television and here on Timow’s Turf, we opened the second Open Pit on a matter related to the very significance of the number.

The number 64 is a perfect square number – in this case, a square of 8 (a number that is very auspicious in East Asia). In games, it’s the total number of squares of a board in chess and checkers. Baby Boomers have The Beatles’ “When I’m Sixty-Four” and the Batang 90s have a Nintendo 64. In personal computers, some of them run on a 64-bit architecture.

On this article, we will discuss about our program’s living legends and legacies.

Legends and legacies distinguished

Living legends, as the name implies, leaves a safe harbor — a permanent etching – where ratings would not matter since the loyal following of their program is mature and stable.

Magandang Gabi Bayan may have been gone for 12 years but its association to Halloween made it a treasure.

On the other hand, a broadcast legacy is something that no longer broadcasts but it’s a cornerstone that shapes both the country and the network and inspires future generations. One example is Magandang Gabi Bayan, which we always remember for the haunted stories in this fitting season of Halloween/Undas. Another is the original standalone version of Tawag ng Tanghalan during the television’s pioneer age, which, of course, becomes the current segment of now legendary It’s Showtime.

Nonetheless, both categories made an intergenerational impact of the country’s pop culture.

In this writing, we will define the living legends and legacies as a program that – currently or not — runs at least 8 years.

Current state of living legendary programs

As of this month, four currently airing legendary programs have given recognition from the Turf.

It’s Showtime gang member Teddy Corpuz re-weds his real wife Tuesday as part of the traditional Magpasikat week.

Tukaan, the oldest sabong show, is now under the hands of TV5.

This year, It’s Showtime turns 8 – enough to confer them the permanent fixture — and thus, seasonal segment Magpasikat from the gang is showcased. It’s Showtime used to be a late morning competition show in 2009 before becoming a noontime variety show in 2012.

Tukaan, the currently longest running cockfighting show was moved to TV5 since October 1 from IBC 13 after 19 years following the original network’s low power signal reception since March and impending privatization.

Damayan, the famous public service program on PTV 4 revived after seven (7) year hiatus as “Damayan Ngayon” since October 6.

Another program in Vasra, PTV Sports restored its standalone program after nine and a half months of being a segment of PTV News since last week; however, their running time is halved to 30 minutes. Debuted in 2006 as Teledyaryo Sports and founded by Snow Badua, the sports program was able to reach out questions and opinions from sports fans through e-mail, text and social media.

Living cornerstone programs currently carried (per network)

 NOTE: Sports coverages are excluded.

 ABS-CBN leads with 19 programs:

TV Patrol. The oldest surviving flagship tabloid newscast since 1987.

Ipaglaban Mo. Began in 1988 on IBC, it was transferred here in 1992 until 1999 and revived in 2014.

Maaalaala Mo Kaya (MMK). The longest running drama anthology.

ASAP. The oldest surviving Sunday musical variety program.

Wansapanataym. The fantasy-drama anthology originally aired in 1997.

Kape’t Pandasal. The shortest currently and continuously airing vignette since 2004.

Salamat Dok.

Goin’ Bulilit. The sketch comedy where the cast are kids, including Dagul.

S.O.C.O. (Scene of the Crime Operatives)

Bandila

Swak na Swak

Umagang Kay Ganda

The Healing Eucharist

Banana Sundae (originally as Banana Split)

Bottomline with Boy Abunda

Failon Ngayon

Rated K

Matanglawin

It’s Showtime

Notes:

The World Tonight has reached at least 8 years in the main channel’s history. Being currently on ANC, it is excluded from this list.

Pinoy Big Brother is excluded from this list, as it does not currently air a new season. PBB has aired 13 assorted seasons since 2005 and it helped shaped the psyche of Filipino pop culture.

GMA comes in second with 16 programs:

Kapwa Ko Mahal Ko. Continuous running public service program since 1975.

Eat Bulaga. Longest running noontime show whose majority of its life resides there.

Bubble Gang. Longest sketch comedy program.

Maynila. The sole youth-oriented drama anthology.

I-Witness

Saksi

Del Monte Kitchenomics. Longest vignette. Used to be part of Eat Bulaga.

Unang Hirit

Imbestigador

Wish Ko Lang

24 Oras

Reporters’ Notebook

The 700 Club Asia

Magpakailanman

Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho

Born to Be Wild

PTV secures in third with 14:

Damayan. Its first run from this network was from 1975-2010, currently as Damayan Ngayon since October 6.

PCSO Lotto Draw. The most recognizable and primary reason to watch this network.

PTV Sports. The second most recognizable show.

Oras ng Himala

Quiapo First Friday Mass

GSIS Members’ Hour

Kasangga Mo Ang Langit. Carried over multiple networks since 1998.

Mag-Agri Tayo

Yan Ang Marino

Auto Review

Jesus Miracle Crusade

Talitha Kum Healing Mass

SME GO

Lakbayin ang Magagandang Pilipinas

NET25 lands fourth with eight (8):

Ang Iglesia ni Cristo (and other derivative programming)

Convergence. The country’s premiere IT show.

MOMents

Landmarks. Their local travel program.

Tomorrow Today*

Drive It!*

Global 3000*

Bundesliga Kick Off*

* Under partnership with DW-TV

  UNTV ranks fifth with seven (7):

Ang Dating Daan (and related and derivative religious programming)

Ito Ang Balita. The longest newscast of this network.

The KNC Show. The current longest running children’s program.

Istorya

Make My Day with Larry Henares

Good Morning Kuya

Munting Pangarap

  IBC 13, despite the moribund lineup, places on the sixth spot:

El Shaddai. The longest religious programming of the network since 1992.

EZ Shop. The lion’s share of their programming grid.

Oras ng Katotohanan. Despite carrying simultaneously with PTV, this program debut here first since 2001.

Family TV Mass. During the final months of 2014, it was aired on GMA.

Tagamend. A half an hour informercial by Bro. Tagumpay Gonzales since 2001.

STV: Ang Sabong TV ng Bayan. Currently the oldest cockfighting program in the network since October 1.

  Light Network (7th place with 5)

Jesus the Healer. Also shared with GMA.

Diyos at Bayan

Midnight Prayer Helps

PJM Forum

This New Life. The sole foreign show carried on this channel that lasts more than 8 years.

  S+A tripled-tied on the 8th place, all are carryovers from Studio 23:

Family Rosary Crusade

Friends Again

Asenso Pinoy. The entrepreneurial infotainment program that currently crosses four channels.

  GMA News TV shares the triple tie as all enlisted are the initial carryovers from QTV:

Balitanghali

Day Off

Ang Pinaka

  SMNI 39 shares the triple tie as the following programs were broadcast under ACQ-KBN:

Powerline

Sounds of Worship

Give Us This Day

  TV5 does not have a program that currently broadcast for eight years but Tukaan, bequeathed by IBC 13 after 19 years on the air, transferred to this network since October. It’s nearest in-house program, Aksyon (prime), should need to air at least next year to qualify.

Significant and impacted legacies

ABS-CBN made the lead with various legacies such as the sitcoms Home along Da Riles and Oki Doki Doc. Aside from MGB earlier, Hoy Gising! was also a well-remembered program under the news and public affairs department. Batang 90s would remember the said decade to be their golden age of educational TV with Hiraya Manawari, Math-Tinik and Sineskwela. Of course, The Buzz was the place for celebrity scoop until the Internet supersedes as its dominant source.

GMA’s legacies include Emergency — whose spiritual successor is Alisto — Cheche Lazaro’s The Probe Team and its kid-friendly counterpart 5 And Up for investigative programming and of course, the no holds barred open debate show, Debate with Mare at Pare. Startalk, like The Buzz, made into the impacted legacies as well as with the similar fate.

On the third place was RPN 9, well-known programs that once aired include NewsWatch, John En Marsha, Battle of the Brains, Business Class and Isumbong Mo Kay Tulfo.

ABC 5’s significant legacies include The Big News, Wow Mali and Cooking with Sandy Daza.

PTV had Concert at the Park and Paco Park Presents since their pioneer years until it was axed in 2012.

IBC 13 only had Iskul Bukol as an intergenerational legacy of the now has-been network.

Other legacies that aired on multiple channels include Student Canteen, Okey Ka Fairy Ko (which led to a more lasting Enteng Kabisote film series), Batibot, Family Kuarta o Kahon and recently, Ating Alamin.

Parting words

Axing a living landmark – like the programs you watched — into a legacy is just like losing your friend and with a missing piece in their hearts. No matter how one wishes to move on, nostalgia would easily get in your way and yearn. Whatever happens to today will affect the curiosity of our posterity.

How about you? How do you define a legend or a legacy?

In the Open Pit, you can raise any subject other than written here through the comments section. If a comment is said to be an article request, the author will exercise discernment to accept or to decline such requests.

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Photos courtesy of giztrendzone.com, pitgames.tv and ABS-CBN

"Do you still need me? Do you still watch me? Now I'm 64." ~PHTV TODAY, October 23, 2017 marks the 64th anniversary of Philippine television and here on Timow’s Turf…