#bokutoxyn

[vetrubius]

-Pain-

Pairings: BokutoxY/N (platonical), Surprise characterxY/N

A/N: Hey y'all. I'm not doing great per se. College is really stressing me out. And I really wanna write. But I'm not really getting time. Anyway, here's a piece I wrote a few months ago but had to clean it a little. Enjoy<333 Warnings: A LOT of ANGST, Suicide Attempts, Manipulation, Light fluff, Minors DNI

W.C: 1,329

You know you really missed him. Because the second you turned to the other side in the morning, the bed was empty. His now faded scent stayed on. Of course you’d been wanting to see him again. How could you even forget the way he made you feel? The happy aura, the comforting arms, the occasional breakfast in bed on weekends.

You fight a tear from your side. Why’d you have to go ahead and mess it up? What was the reason? A whole year, wasted.

Your thoughts were disturbed by the door bell ringing profusely. You hoped it was him. You’d hoped he’d come back to forgive you, to be the bigger person. You open the door slightly to have eye contact with Bokuto. You knew he’d rushed all the way from his practice for you. You really needed someone right now. And you didn’t know who to call other than him.

“I know you were at practice,” you said after opening the door and letting him in “I’m really sorry. I just wanted someone to be with” you said, looking at the floor in shame.

“Hey, it’s okay. We got off early today. So, I didn’t miss practice.” He said, softly taking off his jacket and throwing his bag on the couch. Observing your tear stained face Bokuto did not waste a second in engulfing your small frame into his arms.

“I know he meant a lot. But you should stop. You know he won’t come back.” He whispered while stroking your hair and planting soft kisses across your scalp.

Bokuto and you had been best friends forever. Which made it easier for you to share things with him. It was as if you both knew everything about each other. Exactly how each other felt. But you also knew you two would never work it out. It would never happen.

He would be in another city and you couldn’t be with someone who could not devote every single minute to you.

Your separation anxiety always becomes worse in long distance. That is exactly what had happened, didn’t it? Instead of going to him, you’d chosen someone else’s company. You’d cheated on him with someone else. You never knew you were capable of it.

You’d ruined a lot of friendships this way. Only for you to block your past relationships. Cutting them off without any hesitation. Which only lead to your small friend circle and a lot of self destructive tendencies.

“Bo...why am I this way? I don’t want to be this way. I want to get better. I want to be normal. I don’t want to be dependent on people. Please. Take care of me. I want to get better,” a burst of tears flooded your face, all being absorbed by Bokuto’s jersey.

“I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.”

Bokuto responded to this by swooping your shivering body off the floor. The walk from the foyer to the bedroom seemed long with the words you kept murmuring. Talking so negatively about yourself, it broke Bokuto’s heart.

“It’s alright, I got you,” He said, opening the door of your bathroom “you’ll be good, I know you’ll be. You’ve always been this strong.” He kept your cold, murmuring body in the bathtub and started filling it with warm water.

He held your hand. You saw his face. His grey hair, drooping. His face filled with stubble. His eyes surrounded by the dark circles clearly visible from the sleepless nights. It had been so long since you’d seen him you’d forgotten his rough, calloused hands in yours. His lips silently moving in a prayer.

You couldn’t blame him. He had too much on his brain, his schedule, his practice. His girlfriend blamed him for things he wasn’t responsible for. There was too much going on in both of your lives to have time for each other but you were eternally grateful for this moment.

Your thought process was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Your body refused to move. “Ko.. could you get the door, please?” you said with your croaky voice.

“Yes, just close your eyes” Bokuto said while getting up, turning the tap off and going out of the bathroom. What if you could end everything right now?

What if you just drowned yourself and got over with it. It’s not like your life wasn’t worth living anyway. You’d never done anything special since childhood. You’d never been loved. Just cast aside.

“Maybe I should slip in the water. Nobody would ever know.”

-- --- --- ---- ---

“Y/N, WAKE THE FUCK UP, I’M NOT GONNA LOSE YOU LIKE THIS.” Bo said with tears in his eyes. How could he be so stupid leaving you alone in a tub full of water. “WAKE UP WAKE UP PLEASE JUST WAK-”

“Give her to me, get the heater and blankets, I’ll carry her over to the bed. Get the hairdryer while you’re at it” he said.

“THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU COULD’VE JUST STAYED AT HOME WITH HER. YOU SHOULD’VE JUST BEEN WITH HE-”

“It wasn’t my fault Bokuto. Refrain yourself. One of us needs to be calm. Get the things quickly” He said as he picked your unconscious body up from the water and kept it on the bathroom floor and petted you dry.

“DON’T TOUCH HER, SHE’S ALREADY SO RUINED. BECAUSE OF YOU.YOU TOOK HER SANITY.”

“You know what she’s done, Bokuto. You think it hasn’t affected me? I’m ready to do everything for her. There is no forgiveness. There is just something I wanna talk to her about. This is just psychological manipulation she’s doing to get you too. You know she doesn’t care. You know ho-”

“Get out. Leave her on the bed.” the pain in his voice was audible.

“I know.”

Bokuto looked at him in confusion and watery eyes. “What?”

“I know you’re in love with her. I know she cheated on me with you. Don’t you understand how hard it is for me to be here with you? Don’t you know, Bo?” he sighed “I know you cheated on your girlfriend too. I don’t know what to do. I love her. But this here, looking at her this way, with you? I don’t think you’re supposed to be here.” he said, briefly stopping to rub your body rigorously for heat and looking at Bokuto.

“I better leave. Take care, Y/N. You got what you wanted.”

------------------

“Ka….geyama?”

“Hi, angel. I’m back. Just like you wanted.” Kageyma said as he locked on your eyes and held your cold hands in his warm ones.

“Where’s Bokuto?” you asked him looking around the bedroom. He was sitting on the study chair, looking at you.

The fresh sheets were laid. The dirty laundry bunch you’d thrown in the corner had been put in the laundry. The curtains were pulled apart to get the sunlight in the room. The fresh set of clothes that you were wearing kept you warm. The warmth had finally woken you up.

“He won’t be bothering you for a while. He took his decision.” The black haired boy said as he looked up with a shit eating grin, holding a cup of hot liquid.

“Anyway, I know it was him,” he said while swirling around in the chair. “So I fucked his girlfriend. She told me to not tell you but she’s breaking up with him.”

A look of horror struck your face. “Why would you do that?”

“It’s simple, baby. He’s permanently leaving the country and I’m gonna move in with his girlfriend. You’ll be left alone again. And that’s a better revenge than I originally planned.”

He said as he got up from his chair, kept the tea on your night stand and stood near the door frame.

“Enjoy your loneliness. I really let you live so you could feel this pain. See you later, babe” he said as he broke the last eye contact you’d ever have with him.

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