#blip likes them a lot so maybe i will ask for suggestions

[sevenrs]

aslo about surv being fav camapign

i totally agree actually! playing the game for the first time (especially blind oh my god its so much better blind i kinda pity people who dont go in blind) is a very unique and exciting experience. The feeling of figuring things out for yourself is indescribeable. Stumbling into new regions, discovering new creatures and mechanics, the world felt so vast and mysterious.

but i also completely understand why downpour slugcats are completely different. You can only get lost in the world and feel at the bottom of the food chain so many times, at some point you just know too much and play too well. There isn't even that same sense of exploration with new regions, be it modded or added in downpour, you don't know the regions themselves but you just generally know what to expect from the game.

imo it's near impossible to recapture that same feeling and im happy downpour did what it did. Vanilla is still an unmatched experience, but again, it's very pretty much impossible to replicate i do think going for something else was the best choice

survivor is very much not a "you can replay this over and over" campaign. especially with hunter and then the dp scugs on the table. domination can be fun as well! i played hunter for the first time the month before downpour came out and i loved it so much because of the power

but when it comes to initial impressions. survivor is the best hands down

gameplay wise i much prefer hunter and artificer because of the power aspect but in expeditions i come back to survivor and monk to feel like a silly little beast again

[kinardsevan]

I don't know if it's enough of a prompt but : Tommy says I love you first

i come to you in pieces (so you can make me whole)

He never intends it to be a big thing. He’s done the whole to-do before, made a whole thing out of telling someone exactly where his heart is in the mix of it all. The first serious relationship he had after coming out felt like doing everything for the first time, and in a lot of ways it was. He’d spent so much of his adult life trying to fit into a hetero-normative relationship that when he finally met a guy and fell in love and everything felt the way all the movies and songs described it, he wanted all of it.

And granted, he’s always been a hopeless romantic at heart. Maybe that was a form of self-preservation in the midst of all the loneliness, that he could believe that someone might actually come along one day and sweep him away the way all the movies say happens. Still, when he’s actually had those moments, they never measured up. He’s given his entire heart to someone on a silver platter, flowers and candles included, only to have that moment fall short of what he expects out of it.

But then he meets Evan. 

And it’s a tenuous thing for a while. Because when they first meet, and the first date falls flat on his face with Evan basically shoving them both back in the closet, he’s sure that this gorgeous man he’s felt his heart quickening at is just another passing blip, something he probably shouldn’t let himself get so tied down too. He reminds himself not to get too excited when Chimney or Hen calls about something small; when Eddie wants to know if he wants to rent the next fight and split the price. 

And then Evan calls back and asks him out for coffee. And Tommy knows how much courage it takes, just to take another stab at something when it’s already fallen on its face once. He understands even more how scary it is to suggest the idea that the person you’re dating wants to out themselves to an entire group of people, more specifically their group of people. But for as apprehensive as he was, the wedding went off without (much of) a hitch, save for the awkward glances coming from the Buckley parents. Still, Tommy had long since learned that Evan’s thoughts on whose opinion really mattered about his personal life had more to do with Bobby Nash and Athena Grant than it did Philip and Margaret Buckley. 

He knows it’s coming after that; knows that even if Evan isn’t quite ready to shout from the rooftops that he’s bisexual, that at the very least, he’s okay with his loved ones knowing, and that’s what really matters to Tommy. As it is, Evan becomes the one who takes on a penchant for PDA, whether it’s a hospital waiting room, a bar on a Friday night after a shift, or the middle of the Pride parade. Tommy knows Evan meant it when he wasn’t sure what he was ready for, and he’d never mention it out loud for fear of scaring him back into some need to cower from outside opinions that don’t actually matter, but his boyfriend is no shrinking violet in embracing letting people know just how much he likes Tommy.  And at that point, how is Tommy not supposed to fall back? 

He waits a respectable amount of time. Even though they never actually put an exclusivity label on it all, neither of them are seeing other people. Dates on days off turn into showing up for each other atter a long shift, which turn into overnights, and then long weekends. They still live separately, but Tommy isn’t entirely sure why when one of them is always at the other’s place. Showing up for a loved one becomes a package deal, mostly because they’re just so limited already in the amount of time they get with one another. 

Maddie tells him she thinks it’s cute. Chimney jokes that it’s gross, that he doesn’t need to see his brothers quite that domestic with one another, though he refuses to admit that he finds it endearing. Eddie just gags at the sight of them at this point. Hen never complains, instead only ever commenting that she’s happy to see her two friends finally settled in a relationship, although the fact that it’s with each other was never on her bingo card. 

And Bobby…well Bobby sees it before he ever says a word. In the midst of a family dinner (breakfast) at the end of a long shift for the 118 that Tommy showed up to because Evan’s jeep was in the shop, and they already had plans to spend the weekend together. 

“You should tell him,” Bobby says after sending the rest of the shift off to change into their civies. 

“Hmm?” 

Bobby tilts his head at Tommy. “It’s written all over your face, Tommy. And I think everyone knows it but him.” 

Tommy can’t help glancing towards the first floor then, apprehensive at the suggestion. 

“Besides,” Bobby continues, drawing his attention back. “The whole house is betting on Buck going first, and I’ve got five hundred on you.” 

. . .

They’re standing in the kitchen again. They’d fallen asleep after getting back to Evan’s place when his shift ended, taken some well-deserved rest. After waking up, Evan had mentioned wanting to go back to their place; Miceli’s is only known to them as that now. It’s a Friday night, so Tommy had to call ahead to make sure they’d have the table, but at this point, there’s very little he’s not willing to do to satisfy his boyfriends wants and needs, regardless as to how ridiculous they may get. 

Evan is rambling on about another deep dive, and Tommy doesn’t mind. He enjoys learning little things from the vast amounts of knowledge his boyfriend consumes. More than that, he enjoys the way Evan lights up when he gets on a tangent. As the girls would say, it something about Evan that makes him get all “swirly”. 

“So I said to Eddie, just because giraffes are more likely than people to get struck by lightning doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be. I mean I think I proved-..” 

“I’m so in love with you,” he murmurs as Evan’s midway through his sentence. 

The blonde stares at him slackjawed, eyes unfocused and looking as though he’s just found the answers to a question he never thought to ask but always wondered, the very same way he did the first time they kissed. 

“W-what,” he rasps. 

Tommy gives a small nod, the hint of a smile on his face as his eyes trail down Evan’s chest, the fingers on his left hand rubbing gentle circles over Evan’s hip. His gaze drifts back up, finding those crystal blue eyes he so desperately wants to spend every spare second drowning in. 

“I’m in love with you, Evan,” he says in that monotone voice, like he’s not shifting their entire universe with those six words. “Stay awake after a twenty-four, drink your god-awful idea of good coffee, let all of my limbs fall go numb if it makes you comfortable to fall asleep on me, in love with you.” 

Evan clears his throat then, but Tommy has a front-row view to the way tears run into his waterline, and it occurs to him in that moment, maybe someone has never actually told his boyfriend that he matters that much to them. And on one hand, he’s glad he gets to be the first, but on the other, he wants to fill a room with every person that’s ever claimed to love Evan Buckley in the past and ask them how they could possibly tell him that without explaining just how much.

“You don’t have to say it back right now,” he continues. “I just wanted you to know that; that I love you.” 

Evan lifts his hand to Tommy’s shoulder and takes a step forward, fingers wrapped around the other man’s collarbone as he leans into him, slides his tongue into Tommy’s mouth. There’s such a gentleness about it, that Tommy almost doesn’t need the words. Any clarity of what exists between them burns its brightest when they’re like this, skin on skin, always needing to touch one another to ground themselves. 

He breaks them apart after a time, eyes closed for half a second longer, just taking in the moment. Evan’s hand shifts up, rests against the side of his neck as his thumb trails over Tommy’s jaw. 

“I think I fell in love with you the first time we stood here,” Evan admits softly. “When you asked me if it was okay that you kissed me.” 

Tommy lets out a silent chuckle as a smile crosses his face. Evan tilts his head to the side, that same sheepish smile Tommy has come to love playing on his features. Tommy finally manages to lift his gaze and meet Evan’s once more, bringing a thumb up to brush against his bottom lip. 

“If you had told me flying into a hurricane on a whim would get me here, I think I would’ve called your bluff.” 

Tommy’s smile pulls wider across his face and he leans back in, kisses the corner of Evan’s mouth. He tilts his head up then, whispers into Evan’s ear. 

“I thank God every day that I answered Chim’s phone call because I don’t want a version of this life that doesn’t have you in it.” 

Evan leans into him at those words, buries his face in the crook of Tommy’s neck, and Tommy kisses his shoulder as his hand runs over Evan’s back soothingly. When Evan finally pulls back, he rests his forehead against Tommy’s, eyes closed, swept up in the wave of emotion the conversation has brought up between them. 

“I feel so lucky to get to love you, be in love with you.” He pauses for a tick. “Be loved by you.” 

“There’s no luck involved, babe,” Tommy murmurs to him. Even with his eyes closed, tears slip past them, and then Tommy’s hands are on his face, wiping them away. 

“You are so deserving of it, Evan,” he tells him softly. “And you make it so easy.” 

[marlynnofmany]

Scary Stories in Space

If you’ve ever wanted to experience the rapt attention of bodybuilder-shaped swamp monster/goldfish crosses, who are equal parts muscles, fins, and floaty silk clothes with absolutely zero interest in blinking, then I can’t speak highly enough of telling ghosts stories to a pair of Frillians.

That hadn’t been the plan; it just came up in conversation while we tidied the storage hold. Our ship was going to take on a lot of cargo soon. There were things on the floor that needing picking up, which was boring, so we passed the time with stories.

As it turns out, Frillians love ghost stories.

“Then what happened??” asked Blip when I paused for effect. She’d frozen in place holding a wrench and a heat sensor, wide-eyed in a cloud of fluttering silks and fins, all electric blue and bright red and deeply invested in my story. Her brother Blop was her mirror in aqua and lavender.

“Then,” I said, picking up a crowbar, “When he went to let her out of the car, he found a hook on the door handle!” I caught the crowbar on my hand dramatically.

“Ohhh!” they chorused with a gratifying flinch, for all the world like frat bros watching someone get hit in the nuts. “Near miss! Oh, wow!”

I grinned and put the crowbar in a cabinet while they rehashed the very simple story to each other. I’d already told them a few others, and I was going to run out of stories before they ran out of enthusiasm.

Blip asked, “What do you think they did when they found that?”

With a shudder like a bird fluffing feathers, Blop suggested, “Throw it as far away as possible? Run into the house?”

Blip nodded, fins still flared slightly. “Maybe both. Then call the authorities.”

I walked past to collect a stray cable. “I don’t know about the authorities where you’re from, but mine wouldn’t have been much help.”

The twins discussed this some more, then agreed that the best response would be to run screaming into the house and lock every door they could find. Only then did they remember that they were supposed to be cleaning, and resume putting stuff away.

After three seconds of silence, Blop asked, “Know any more?”

“Maybe,” I said. “Lemme think.” I shelved a box and looked around the room for inspiration. No ghosts hid in this storage hold, though it had been home to many an animal cargo. The reinforced clear pen was still empty, and had been for a while — our cargos were mostly boxes these days. The door to the hallway stood open, and I almost had a thought about some doorway-based haunting, but couldn’t pin it down. I moved to stack a few stale tubs of animal food while I thought.

Then my cat Telly walked in, recently free to roam the ship on a provisional basis, and I had an idea. The fact that Telly had made a beeline for Blip’s spare overcoat helped. She burrowed right under, sniffing out the shrimp sticks that were undoubtedly hidden in several pockets.

Neither Frillian noticed.

“There was one story,” I said, watching them both perk up like meerkats. Fishy, musclebound meerkats. “The legend of the Pants With Nobody Inside Them.”

“Pants With Nobody Inside Them?” they dutifully asked.

I tugged at my own pant leg. “People where I’m from wear a lot of clothes that are shaped to fit our bodies, and have the same silhouette when they’re empty. Just imagine how creepy and unsettling it must have been for the first person to venture into a dark forest at night, and see the shape of another human — but only the bottom half. Walking … steadily … towards them.” I took slow and deliberate strides toward the far side of the animal pen, drawing their gaze away from the shrimp stick excavation.

“That sounds terrifying,” Blip declared. “Did they run?”

“Oh, you bet they did!” I said, jogging slowly in place, then speeding up. “But the pants ran after.”

Blop squeaked in fear, muscly arms bent to bring his hands to his mouth.

They had no idea how hard I was working not to laugh. “That first person got away, and so did the next. But it kept happening, and the pants got faster each time. People started to worry about going outside, and wonder about their own clothes — they’d look at a pair of pants on the floor, and imagine it starting to get up on its own. Then OH JEEZ WHAT’S THAT?!” I pointed through the clear walls of the pen.

Both Frillians whirled and screamed at the sight of — as promised — an item of clothing moving around.

Telly bolted in panic, with one shrimp stick in her mouth and several others scattering in all directions. I heard someone down the hall yelp, though it was hard to make out over the Frillians screaming.

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

“WAS THAT AN ANIMAL?”

“WAIT, THAT WAS YOUR ANIMAL, WASN’T IT?”

“WHAT WAS IT DOING IN MY COAT??”

I leaned against a wall, laughing. I couldn’t hold it back any more. “Stealing your shrimp sticks,” I managed. “Sorry.”

After a little more yelling and hyperventilating, during which three other crew members came to see what the emergency was, they finally calmed down. The rest of the crew was waved away.

“So,” Blip said, clearly determined to speak evenly, “How does the story end?”

I was still grinning. “Somebody makes friends with the pants. They were chasing after people because they were lonely.”

“What!” Blip exclaimed, fins spread and eyes wide, which just made me burst into laughter again. Blop echoed her.

“It’s a children’s story,” I explained. “I think the pants wanted to dance with other people. Or they wanted someone to wear them; I honestly don’t remember the details. But they were lonely.”

Blop shook his head. “Lonely haunted clothing,” he said. “Your planet sure has some memorable ones.”

Blip picked up her coat at arm’s length, and I couldn’t tell if she was looking for damage or ghosts. “Maybe it was hungry,” she suggested.

“I’m sure many ghosts like shrimp sticks,” I said, picking one up from the floor. “I’ll bet we could think up a new story about that. Maybe they’re haunted by the ghosts of the shrimp, mad about being eaten?”

Their dismayed expressions told me that such a story might ruin their favorite snack for them.

“Or,” I said, turning on my heel, “We could think up a story about a haunted… stun gun! Maybe it keeps a ghostly copy of all the people it’s stunned. How do you think a story like that would work?”

To my delight, Blip and Blop proved just as interested in composing new stories as listening to old ones. The rest of the tidying session passed quickly.

I take no responsibility for the nightmares they inflicted on the rest of the crew.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

(And yes that’s a reference to the Dr Seuss story.)

[martianbugsbunny]

Locked In This Embrace (An Espionage Husbands Fic)

*Shapeshifts from being a filing cabinet* So funny story, this started out as like, a good old fashioned scene rewrite fic where I just thieved the dialogue from the show itself and added some inner monologue and of course my own twist at the end bc otherwise what's the point? and OF COURSE the scene I picked was the forehead touch scene between Nick and Talos, I'm obsessed with it. It was supposed to be basically just that scene plus a romantic end, real short and sweet.

It kind of got away from me and consumed several hours of my life. I analyzed the scene itself so a lot of the gestures Talos makes in the fic are actually what he was doing onscreen. His inner monologue is matched to the canon gestures/facial expressions and I swear on the ship it works so well he could actually be thinking that stuff in canon. At this point half or less of the fic is the actual scene rewrite, that's how much of my own material I added.

...and yes, the title is derived from a post I made earlier about this exact scene. It's maybe not the best title but that's my weak spot so that's how it is.

Here's my offering to the blorbo gods and the Espionage Husbands fandom, read on and enjoy!

“I am so sorry,” Fury said.

“Me too,” Talos replied, his voice low. He savored the feeling of Furys forehead pressed against his, sharing space, breathing the same air; he had lost one love, but the other lived, and the fact that Fury cared enough to meet him with a Skrull embrace rather than a Human one returned a bit of the warmth to his heart that he had lost when Soren died. “Soren loved you,” he said. It felt right to remind Fury of that—Fury, who had cared for her almost as much as Talos had.

“But she worried, mate,” he went on (he was never quite sure if he was using that word in the Human context of "friend" or in the Skrull one of "partner"), “That it would take something like this to bring you back to Earth.”

Fury pulled away to look Talos in the eyes. “I guess she was right,” Talos finished.

For a moment, Fury said nothing. Talos wondered if he knew that the word ‘Earth’ was never the one that he or Soren had used when worrying over Fury’s absence from their lives. Talos remembered her saying, only a few days before she died, “I’m afraid of what it will take to bring him back to us.”

But Fury didn’t know that.

He cupped his hands around Talos’s face for a brief moment; far too little time, yet so precious, and then let go and sighed heavily. “Tell me about Gravik,” he said, and Talos tried not to let it show in his face how horribly heartbroken he was that Fury could move on from such a personal moment so quickly. Fury was back for Earth, not for…well, now it was just him. Even if he did feel for Talos the way Talos did for him, which Talos had never been able to decipher or been bold enough to ask, there were more important things to do than trying to determine where the two of them stood.

And still…Talos was never one to let things go. “Let’s just talk about you first,” he suggested. “We’ve been helping you for all these years, to ensure that you kept your promise. But after the Blip…you were different.” Life during those five years had been a nightmare for Talos, even though he had survived. It was terribly complicated, being grateful that his wife and daughter had been spared, and yet grieving the loss of Nick like the loss of his soul. If he hadn’t had Soren to lean on, Talos hated to think of how completely the darkness would have enveloped him.

“You disappeared.” That was the final pang. After all the agony of the Blip, Fury had been returned to life and Talos had, for a moment, hoped he could finally ask, once and for all, where their relationship truly stood. And then—he was gone. Settled in space, almost as lost to Talos as he had been when he was dead.

“Carol Danvers disappeared,” Talos said. She, like Fury, was supposed to be helping the Skrulls find a home. He was less angry at her, though, because she wasn’t Fury. She didn’t occupy that same space in his heart. “And—so did G’iah.”

Fury turned to him. “Your daughter disappeared? To where?”

“She was young. Angry that our people still don’t have a home.” G’iah was the one person he loved more than Fury, and Talos didn’t hesitate to defend her to him, even though he was utterly disappointed in her decisions. But like he said, G’iah wasn’t evil. A lot of rebel Skrulls weren’t. Just angry.

“Many of them were upset. I got kicked off the Council, pushed into exile, but Gravik—Gravik, mate, he took your abandonment—” Talos couldn’t quite look Fury in the eyes where he said that word—“that much harder.”

When they went back downstairs so Maria Hill could brief Fury on the rebel Skrulls, Talos tried not to read too much into it that Fury sat next to her, on the complete opposite end of the table from himself. She was, after all, the closest friend Fury had.

He also hated that, as the only Skrull at the table, it was his job to break the news to Fury just how precarious the Gravik situation was. “We brought you here for a reason,” he said. A far heftier one than my broken heart, he reminded himself, realizing that it was probably about to get a lot more cracked. “If he succeeds…your species will cease to exist.”

Fury stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back from the table. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m going for a walk.”

“You’re going for a walk—in Moscow, at night?—You’re gonna stand out.” Even if he couldn’t meet Fury’s gaze, Talos couldn’t resist the urge to warn him off from getting hurt.

And then just like that he was gone.

Talos stared at Maria across the table. He didn’t care that his expression was probably giving away how he was feeling—he wasn’t even sure what label to put on it, so why should he bother to hide it?

“He loves you, you know,” she said, after a drawn-out moment of silence. “When I told him I was calling at your request…well, his tone changed awful quickly.”

That was the call where not only had Fury been summoned back to Earth, he had also learned of Soren’s death. Talos had insisted Maria tell him; the wound was too fresh, and he hadn’t wanted the first time he saw Nick after all those years to be a moment for breaking bad news.

“I’m not so sure,” Talos answered. He got up to look through the fridge—he didn’t truly like a lot of human food, but there were some fruits that tasted nearly identical to Skrull produce, and he kept a stock of them whenever possible. He pulled out a half-eaten can of lychees and a fork from the silverware drawer. “He left.”

Maria followed him to the kitchen area, leaning against the small counter. “The Blip hurt everyone, Talos. The rest of the world may not think so, but you and I know that he’s only human. He needed the time away.”

“He could have spent it with us.” “Why are you so hung up on that? I know you missed him—”

“Missed him?” Talos shoved the can to the side and turned towards Maria. “If you can say that lungs would ‘miss’ oxygen or that veins would ‘miss’ blood, then yeah. I missed him.” He buried his head in his hands. “It wasn’t just those five years, Maria. For decades I’ve wondered if he loved me, always too afraid to hear that answer was no to even ask, always sure that if he felt so, he would tell me.”

“You could have told him how you felt,” Maria reminded him.

“I could have. And he could have. We wasted all that time and I just—I can’t help but believe that if he had been down here with us, like he should’ve been, maybe he could have done what I couldn’t. Maybe Soren would still be alive.”

He abandoned us, Talos wanted to say. It was what most Skrulls believed about Nick Fury, although Talos could’ve told them they had no idea what it was to be abandoned by him.

Soren had never made a secret of her affection for Fury; all those years locked away from her husband in Mar-Vell’s lab had taught her how precious love was, and how freely it should be expressed. Talos, on the other hand, feared rejection. Loneliness. Ages of being hunted by the Kree, mistrusted and reviled by other species, had taught him that. And yet…with Soren by his side, it was always clear that Fury had a home with them if he wanted it. And Fury had accepted that offer and lived with them from time to time, his nearness and his close relationship with Soren driving Talos mad.

Why did he give up that home when they needed so badly to see him alive and well after his death?

Suddenly Talos remembered something else Soren had said. They had been washing dishes together, while Fury was in the living room admiring some drawings that G’iah had made.

“You’re a stubborn man, Talos. And I love you for it. Anyone else might have given up on finding us again.” She handed him a plate to dry. “But…I wonder what it would take for you to take a leap of faith.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” (He did.)

“Hand him your heart, Talos, and trust him not to break it.”

Soren had been able to do it all that time, and it had never cost her. Yet even now, when he was finally reunited with Fury, Talos had only been able to give him Soren’s love, and not his own.

It was on him as much as it was on Fury that they had never determined what they were to each other. And it was his inability to protect Soren, not Fury’s absence from them, that had cost Soren her life, Talos decided.

When Fury finally returned from his walk (and a kidnapping, Talos was alarmed to hear) he informed them that he had set up a bug in an associate’s house and was expecting to get new intel on Gravik’s plans soon. Maria took charge of setting up their end of the surveillance equipment, and Talos determined to take his chance and do what Soren had advised him to do years ago.

“Fury, can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked. He noticed Maria smirking and wanted to sigh. “It’s….” Not information on which the fate of Earth or Humanity hung, but still….“Important.”

To Talos's surprise, Fury’s irritation with him had entirely dissipated, no doubt in light of the new information they were about to get. They went back up to the roof and stood looking out at the city together, the silence amiable.

Talos reached over and took Fury’s hand. His fingers were cold. “I’ve always loved you,” he said, staring straight ahead. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

Fury smiled. “I had guessed. Figured you would say it when you were ready—didn’t quite expect that to take three decades.” He pulled Talos close and repeated the Skrull forehead touch they had done earlier, their fingers still intertwined. A single tear slipped down Talos’s face. “I love you too.”

[silvercrane14]

That helps a ton !! Unfortunately im a horror manga fiend so that does cut out a lot ToT

I'll start with some recs that u might have already read and go from there.

For some reason I always group Land of the Lustreous/houseki no kuni with WHA. Theyre not like. similar at all really but I feel like theyre just. in the same group.

LOTL has a really unique style- the mangaka used to illustrate those two-toned high-contrats instruction pamphlets which is where it derives from. At the beginning it kinda feels like a fighting manga but pretty quickly it proves otherwise. Its really beautiful both in art and story, I would highly suggest it.

Why I think you would like it: very interesting characters. Large cast !! VERY compelling plot and lore of the world.

Frieren: Beyond Journeys End - Frieren is an elf who helped a group of adventured defeat the demon king many years prior. As elves are incredibly long-lived and feel little desire to pursue interpersonal relationships, she viewed the years with them originally as just a small blip in her many years of life. One of the members of the party asks her to take Fern, a young child, as an apprentice as he (being human) is old and will not live long enough to do so himself. She agrees and does so. She also begins to realize that she does care for the rest of the group, and regrets not adequately spending her time with them. Explores character and regret.

Why I thunk you would like it: Similar to WHA in its fantasy aspects, and very character-driven. Both the manga and the anime are beautiful. Tragic relationships (bittersweet)

Dungeon Meshi - I dont. think I really gotta explain this one but maybe im speaking from bias bcs my dash is filled with it lmao. I couldnt do it justice explaining so look up a summary if u dont know 👍 sorry im a little tired (writing this out of order so this is like my seventh one)

Why I think you would like it: Fantasy aspects similar to WHA. The characters have very strong. character. and the art is BEAUTIFUL. Very enjoyable way to portray many species' in a story

The Horizon - two children find themselves stranded in the midst of a war. Having nowhere to go, they decide start walking down a road, towards the horizon

is a manhwa but it has the same page-style b&w format as a manga. Also nite that while it does take place during a war, its not like. A War Manga about fighting or anything. its Really Sad and if u decide to read it and have any triggers or sensitivities to certain things lmk and I can give u some warnings. ITS REALLY GOOD THO. I say sad because. it is. but its also kinda bittersweet. It'll make you cry but at the same time.

Why I think you would like it: Looks into how the characters deal with the loss of their normal lives, how experiences change people, and goes deeply into each character relationship.

!!! I really appreciate these, so sorry for answering these like two days late oops. Anyway

Land of the Lustrous I've heard of but I've never actually read! So I might look into it ^^

Frieren and Dungeon Meshi I've read, although admittedly I didn't finish Frieren (forgor) so I might pick that up again,,,

The Horizon sounds really good!!! I love bittersweet stories,,, I'll check it out!!!

[atlasscrumpit]

Platonic Bucky x Reader

(in this, NO ONE DIED and they ALL STILL LIVE HAPPILY TOGETHER)

You were still pretty new to the team, you hadn't even been through the blip or thanos with them.

You weren't exactly apart of the team, Tony thought it was a good idea to hire a psychologist and you needed somewhere to live because you were hunted by a few certain criminals.

So, in order for protection and somewhere to live you'd use your psychology degree for something good. And living at the Avengers base outside of the city wasn't exactly a bad idea.

Before this you worked in a prison as a psychologist and you knew what you'd prefer.

You'd become pretty close with Bucky, you were pretty good at seperating him from patient and friend.

You were headed to the kitchen when you heard Nat and Bucky.

It sounded like they were arguing.

They'd dated off and on for years but once everything was over they decided to be in a relationship, but you weren't sure if it was the best idea.

But that wasn't your decision, still you did something that may not have been the best idea, you listened to their argument.

"Nat, I'm sorry. I'm trying, I'm trying really hard. This is the first little bit of peace I've had since the 20s, I had a bit of peace in Wakanda but other than that I've just gone from fight to fight. I'm so used to just being a machine and following orders... I'm not sure how to live a normal life." Bucky said as you smiled a little, you were proud of him for being able to communicate his feelings so well.

"I understand that, Buck. Everything is complicated right now, maybe we should put off a relationship until we've learnt to be in this world." Nat suggested, honestly you agreed that it was a good idea.

"Maybe that is a good idea, I care about you a lot, Nat. But I can barely even take care of myself right now and you deserve someone to take care of you as well." He said as you heard a moment of silence and looked around the corner to see them hugging, making you smile a little.

Once you knew Nat had left you poked your head out a little.

"Eavesdropping now, doctor?" Bucky said as you chuckled a little.

"Sorry, I only heard the end of it and I didn't want to interrupt." You said as he smiled.

"It's okay, I don't mind. I think it's all for the best though." Bucky said as you returned his smile.

"If it means anything, I'm proud of you for setting boundaries." You said making him chuckle.

"Thanks, Doc." He responded as you went into the fridge to start lunch.

"Want to join me for lunch?" You asked as he sighed.

"I'm actually going to go have some time alone, I'll come see you later." He said before he left.

You prepared a sandwich for yourself and sat down at the table, sighing.

"Hey, doc!" You heard a voice say as you looked up to see Tony entering.

"Tony, you can call me by my name." You said as he chuckled, grabbed some leftovers and sat across from you.

"Doc sounds so much better though." He said making you laugh softly.

"Hows everything with Morgan?" You asked as you both ate together.

You and Tony talked for about an hour until you decided to go get fresh air.

You found Bucky near the water and walked up to him.

"Hey." You called out as he looked behind and smiled.

"Hey, doc." He said making you chuckle.

"How are you feeling after everything?" You asked, standing beside him.

"Honestly, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I love Natasha, but it's not fair to either of us to try and fix ourselves and support the other, you know?" He said making you smile.

"I completely understand that. Don't worry, I won't charge you for this chat." You said making him laugh.

"You suck." He said making you laugh along with him.

[ravagedarkness]

Spider-Man: Home Rebuilt, Chapter 23: Everything

After a detour to drop off the vehicles in the garage, we drove back to the X-Men apartment in Scott’s Camry. After that major fire, we all decided to turn in for the night. They invited me over for dinner. It was nothing special, according to Scott – just a lot of leftover Chinese food. I didn’t mind it too much. But as I ate, I couldn’t help but feel like there was… well, I don’t know if I would have called it tension, but I felt like there was an elephant in the room. After some moments, Craig acknowledged it.

“So, we’re back-back?” he asked, looking at Scott.

“We are,” Scott confirmed as he stabbed his fork into a piece of orange chicken. “To be honest, I wanted to revive the X-Men name for a while. But I was just waiting for the right time.” He then tilted his head. “You seem concerned.”

“I’m not concerned.” Craig shook his head. He then nodded. “Well, maybe I am. It’s just… Look, the X-Men as we knew it had been dead since the middle of the Blip Years, and I’ve felt some type of way about it for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, hearing you calling our little team here the X-Men felt really good. But… and I mean this respectfully … I just want to make sure this is what we’re really doing. The X-Men being back means we’re going to need more people. It also means there is going to be a lot of folks pissed off at us and we’re going to have even more headaches to deal with – especially from our favorite Canadian.” He said that last part sarcastically, prompting me to look at him.

At that, Scott nodded. “I know. And we’ll cross those bridges when we get to them. But, for now, we still have to deal with Scorpion. The fact he’s been quiet since that night is rather unsettling.”

“Yeah it is,” Kitty agreed. “…Come to think of it, Justin Hammer’s been rather quiet, too.”

“Maybe Cyclops scared them off after he blasted Scorpion that night,” I suggested with absolutely no sincerity in my tone, prompting Scott to scoff.

“If only we were so lucky,” he replied. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or if he really wished that luck was really on our side. Either way, it was clear that he believed that we were definitely not that lucky. “But, we’ll have to keep our heads on a swivel.”

“What else is new?” Kitty asked rhetorically. She then looked at me. “Welcome to the X-Men, Spider-Man. I hope you have pain meds – you’re going to need them.”

After eating and talking with them some more, I went home, with Craig dropping me off. Once I got home, I barely sat down on my bed to take my clothes off when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a call video call from MJ. I smiled as I answered the call and held the phone in front of my face.

“Hey Em,” I greeted with a smile.

“X-Men?” she asked as she gave me a look.

I chuckled. “Yeah, I’m an X-Man now. Not only do I look out for the little guys in New York, I look out for mutants now.” I tilted my head. “I probably should’ve been doing that already, but I only learned about mutants the day I ran into The Friends of Humanity.”

“So does that mean the black suit is going to be a permanent thing?”

I paused as I thought about it. I then tilted my head. “Do you want it to be?”

She shook her head. “No. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice looking outfit and it looks great on you. But everybody and their momma have grown attached to the red and blue. However, I wouldn’t mind if you bust it out every now again.”

I nodded. “I can do that. I have it as a quick change outfit. It’s something they’ve been urging me to do for a while. I made this because Craig and I were doing something in Harlem. We were actually driving out of Harlem when the fire happened and we got called up by Scott.”

“I see. Did you guys get everyone out okay?”

“We did.”

“And are you guys okay?”

“We are. Well, Craig was nursing a headache. Apparently his power is Frictiokinesis.”

At that, Michelle chuckled. “That should get you a lot of points in scrabble.” I chuckled along with her until we went quiet. “…Hey… can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything, Michelle,” I told her. “For you, I’m an open book.”

“Oh really?” she replied with a mischievous smile. “So if I was to ask you if you ever thought about me wearing a certain Princess Leia costume…?”

My face heated up. “Well I-I-I-I-I…” I cleared my throat and looked off to the side. “…Yes. But… to be honest… I thought more about you… wearing one of my suits.” I cleared my throat before I looked back at the screen. MJ smiled coyly.

“Good to know.” I sighed. I somehow knew MJ was going to use that against me later on. She then continued. “I appreciate the honesty. But, my real question is – and before I ask it, I want you to know that I’ll never ask you to do it – have you ever thought about quitting the hero life?”

I grimaced. “I think I can count on one hand the times I’ve gone a whole week without thinking about calling it quits,” I confessed. I told this to her before The Spell. But of course, she didn’t remember it at that moment. “There are days when I don’t want to be Spider-Man anymore because every time I try to be normal, things go left. Like…” I paused for a moment. “…I dated Liz Allan for a bit.”

MJ’s eyebrows shot up. “Liz Allan?” MJ inquired. “As in the AcaDeca captain before me? That Liz Allan?”

“The very same.”

MJ stared at me for a few moments, pressing tongue into the inside of her cheek. She then shook her head. “…Wow. I’ve been calling you a loser and a dork when, all this time, you’ve actually got game.”

I chuckled as I shook my head. “I really don’t.”

“Are you sure? I think you do. It may be the whole puppy thing you got with your aura. Is that how you get women to drop their panties for you?”

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. I lay on my back, eyes closed as I tried to regain my composure. After a few moments, I looked back at the screen, seeing MJ looking very pleased with herself. “Em, I’m trying to be serious here.” The tone in my voice and the smile on my face made it clear that I was far from annoyed.

“I’m sorry.” I gave her a look, showing that I wasn’t buying that. “Okay, no I’m not. But please, continue.”

I nodded. “So, yeah, I dated Liz Allan for a bit. But, I had to ditch her at Homecoming because I had to take on her father, Adrian Toomes. Of course, she doesn’t know I’m Spider-Man and there was nothing I could say to her afterwards that would have prevented her from hating me. Then came the trip to Europe, and all I wanted to do was take you to the top of the Eiffel Tower and ask you out.” I looked at the Black Dahlia necklace that she was wearing. “…I even bought you that necklace you’re wearing now. I was going to give it to you at Paris. But of course, SHIELD needed me, and what was supposed to be an opportunity to just enjoy Europe and spend time with you got hijacked because Mysterio had everyone thinking he was a good guy from another universe trying to protect our version of Earth from meeting the same fate as his, only for me to find out that he was really a disgruntled ex-Stark Industries employee with a lot of screws loose…”

“And that led to you being framed and having your identity exposed,” MJ finished for me.

“Exactly.” I sighed. “And add in the times when I get injured so badly that I would have been dead a hundred times over had it not been for the fact that I heal fast, and the times I end up inadvertently screwing over the people I’m close to or want to be close to and… Well, more than once, I’ve considered tossing my suit in the trash and just being Peter Parker.” I frowned. “I’m sorry if that doesn’t sound very heroic.”

“I’m not looking for heroic when we talk, Peter.” I watched as her background shifted as she sat up. “Well, maybe I am, but… We’re taking a second go at this – our relationship, that is. And when we talk, I want you to be honest with me about how you feel. I want everything. Okay?”

“Okay.” I smiled slightly. “I know this goes without saying, and you would have done so anyway, but… please be honest with me. I want everything from you, too.”

MJ smirked. “Be careful what you wish for, because you’re going to get everything.”

We spent the rest of our time talking about different things, such as the upcoming dance, school stuff, and a book she’s been reading (Q&A by Vikas Swarup). After the conversation ended, I finally undressed, put my clothes away, and went to bed.

The next morning, I was at The Daily Bugle. While I was uploading photos to a computer, I was doing my very best not to listen to the “discussion” between Robbie and Jonah in regards to the X-Men. I already knew that we were going to get slandered by the latter on his show. The X-Men were the talk of the town after last night. We were trending on Twitter, with a lot of people having a lot to say about us, both good and bad. Some people called us The Avengers for the little guys. Others called us criminals for supporting Mutant rights and having one its members – myself – being the one who killed Mysterio.

Even in death, Mysterio is still a thorn in my side.

Anyway, there were just some other comments, some rather… interesting comments about the X-Men. There were comments about our outfits, our possible romantic status (which reminded me that, out of the four of us, I was the only one who wasn’t single), what we looked like underneath our masks, and the like. There was even fan art and people posting links to their fanfiction about us.

Wow.

It was a wild morning, to say the least.

As I waited for pictures to upload, I was reading the American Idiots group chat.

“Okay, question of the day – how do you think Triple J is going to slander the X-Men today?” Craig asked. “Go.”

“I bet he’s going to say we started the fire,” Kitty replied.

“Something, something, Spider-Man is a menace,” MJ chimed in.

“BUT, BUT, BUT THE ACCORDZ!!!!!!111!!!!!11!!ONE!1ONE!1!ONE!” Ned added.

“To be honest, I expect Iron Man’s death to be exploited somehow,” Betty chimed in.

Craig sent another message. “I bet my hoodie is going to be brought up.”

I was about to type my response when I heard Jonah’s voice from the office.

“Parker!” he yelled out. I looked up to see Jonah poking his head out of his office. “In here, now!”

“Yes sir,” I said. I stood up and pocketed my phone before I headed inside of his office. Once inside, I took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Robbie was still in there as Jonah at back down.

“I have an assignment for you kid,” Jonah stated. “F.E.A.S.T. is having a Gala tonight at their Chinatown headquarters. The founder, Martin Li, is hosting this gala. It’s a semi-casual affair. I need you to take pictures, as per usual.”

“Of course,” I said. “What time do I need to be there?”

“You’ll have to be there at 7:30 at the latest since the Gala starts at 8:30,” Robbie replied. “And since it is supposed to be a relaxed affair, you can bring a few friends along if you want – as long as they understand the dress code and they’re able to act right. Sounds good?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. I’ll have Betty get your credentials ready, along with a shot list.”

“Okay. I’m on it.”

With that, I stood up and walked out of the office. As I returned to the computer I was using to upload photos, I pulled my phone out and sent a text to the group chat.

“You guys doing anything tonight?”

Hours later, I was at the gala with the other American Idiots. All of us were dressed in attires that were different levels of formal. I was dressed in black slacks and black dress shoes with a matching turtleneck. Betty was fully formal, wearing a black business vest over a white dress shirt along with a black business skirt. Ned wore a pair of jeans and a black Star Wars shirt underneath a blazer – because of course he did. Craig had on a full black and white suit ensemble. Kitty wore a red trench coat over black slacks and a white button up shirt that had its top button left unfastened. And MJ… MJ wore that flowery dress I saw her in when we were at the opera in Prague. I smiled when I saw her in it. She stuck her tongue at me, but smiled at me afterwards.

We all scattered in different directions. Ned and Betty were dancing to the music. Craig and Kitty were actually mingling with some of the guests that were already there. And MJ stuck with me as I moved around and took pictures.

“So, this is Peter Parker, the photographer, in the wild,” MJ commented as I took a few pictures of the live band. “Do you go to these events often?”

“Every now and again, I do,” I replied as I zeroed in on the drummer and snapped a picture of him. “Jonah actually has a lot of influence in this city, so, whenever he wants to, he set things up so the cameramen and reporters could cover it. So, I guess it’s a perk.”

“I see.” She went quiet as I took a few more pictures.

I moved around the venue with MJ at my side, taking pictures every now and again when I think I saw a good shot. I then arrived at a spot on a wall. On that spot hung a picture of Aunt May. There was that warm smile of hers that I was more than familiar with. It was an encouraging smile she gave me whenever she talked me out of my funks – and I had a lot of them. She took care of me. Without her, I don’t know if I’d ever be the hero I became.

I bowed my head and closed my eyes. I took in a deep breath, trying my best not to unravel.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t…

I was taken out my thoughts when I felt a pair of arms around my shoulders. I then felt a chin on top of my shoulder. I raised my head, and my cheek brushed against Michelle’s. I looked back at the picture on the wall. With MJ holding me, I was able to stave off the urge to cry.

“…She liked you a lot, you know?” I uttered. “Other than Ned, she was the only person I talked to a lot about you.” I chuckled. “…When we got home through the window of my room after the Mysterio video, she walked in on us when you were trying to help me pull off the suit, and I was just in my boxers. She thought that you and I were about to… you know.”

“What can I say?” MJ said in a joking tone. “I know how to get you in your birthday suit.” I chuckled. “What did she say after that?”

“She introduced herself to you. She was happy to finally meet you.” I sighed. “And she told us to use protection.” Now it was MJ’s turn to chuckle. “…I still miss her, MJ. I know she’s my aunt, but she was basically a mother and big sister to me and… I’m still trying to figure out how to live this life without her.” I took in a breath, then shook my head. “I’m sorry Em, I didn’t mean to kill the vibe.”

“Everything, Peter,” she responded. “I want everything.” I leaned a bit to my left, just enough so we can make eye contact. She smiled. I smiled back at her. My smile then faded when I realized how close our faces were. My face became flushed, but I didn’t pull away. I looked down at her lips, finding them rather interesting. The stitches were no longer on her lip – there was only a tiny scar that I only noticed because we were that close.

“How’s your lip?” I whispered.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she replied. I looked her in the eye and took in her expression. Her face was flushed. She had a look of anticipation in her eyes. But most importantly, she wasn’t pulling away.

That did it.

I felt my heart pump faster. I heard her heart do the same. Every single last one of my senses acknowledged her and only her. She was all that I could see, all I could hear, all I could smell, all I could feel. At that moment, she was all I wanted to touch. So I closely closed my eyes as I leaned forward and…

“Excuse me.” We both parted and suddenly turned around to see one of the volunteers. She smiled at us. “I’m sorry for startling you two, but Martin Li is about to speak soon, so I’m just letting people know.”

“Thanks for that,” MJ said with a nod. I felt the sarcasm that was being held back. The volunteer nodded before she walked away. MJ waited until she was out of earshot before she spoke again. “Now that killed the vibe.” I chuckled as I walked with her to where people were gathering. As I readied my camera, I was thinking that the interrupted would-be kiss would have been the one low note of the night.

Unfortunately, I was about to be dead wrong.

[welcometothenightcourt]

I’m just confused rn. So i was recently diagnosed with DID (about 3 months ago ish maybe 4 now), but the thing is I can’t communicate with anyone? Like the other alters (haven’t gotten names or anything yet), but it’s almost like when they have the control of the car per say, I’m in the backseat…or the boot I guess cause never get a reply…so I can’t figure out how to communicate at all?

I don’t know if they are the protector role and maybe I was never meant to talk to them? Maybe they hoped I would never know of this cause of what they protected us from. But sometimes it is scary cause I’m sorta just…sitting there in the car and I can’t leave. I can’t even have - what I called before diagnosis and after avengers endgame - a blip moment, where I forget what I was doing and carry on per normal.

I’ve tried the method of writing sticky notes with mundane questions on them like “what dinner should we have this week?” Or “fancy any specific cereals?” From therapists suggestion to keep a balance in everyday life. Yet there is never an answer written back anywhere, not even on the back or in another room. But other than that I personally don’t know what to do?

I’ve never had this “backseat behind the driver” moment before diagnosis and I think I only am now cause I’m more…self-aware of it??? But literally how do I communicate. I’ll be honest, i wasn’t even the one to find your blog here, but apparently this throwaway account did (I just use it to read over random updates and ya know scroll never interact etc)so Ik that someone has recognised that I know and have little idea.

overall question: how do I communicate (other than the sticky notes)?, how do I get out the metaphorical backseat? Cause otherwise I feel like I’ve been diagnosed wrong, I’m trying to look into what else it could be but DID is the main one that keeps coming up as a result, I’m just so confused over all this still. Sorry for the long winded and repetitive ask I just feel like context is needed cause otherwise a simple question could be misunderstood.

First, I would try not to take it so personally, and start actively trusting your therapists diagnosis. Most therapists won't diagnose DID without having met other alters, or without very good evidence, so they are probably there. Let's operate on the assumption that your therapist is correct in your diagnosis. Let's also try to look at things from the other alters' perspective.

Let's pretend that we're one of the other alters. You've been living in a body, and working to protect it and the host (you) for [insert however old your body is minus 3-7 years probably] without detection. You watch, help when needed, but only ever from afar. You hold memories from them, very painful traumatic memories that they can never find out, or it would hurt them, which is the opposite reason of why you exist. You know some things about them, and maybe you would want to meet them and talk to them, but it's dangerous to do that. You would probably hurt them.

Now, this person was told that you exist. They keep trying to find you, but... you've been hiding so long, and speaking to them, letting them know you're there, giving them the opportunity to find out all of the pain that you have been protecting them from. Letting them know you is dangerous, and you don't know how they will react. Will they try to hurt you? The body? Others? Will they deny your existence? You don't really trust this person yet.

Would you answer them all the time? I know I wouldn’t. I didn't. I didn't make myself known for several years, even after others had done so successfully. Those sort of things take time, patience, and a lot of understanding and reassurance.

Try to stop... pushing them so much. Try just letting them know that you're here when they're ready, and that you appreciate them. Then... just leave it be for a while. Let them think, let them find courage, let them learn to trust you without all that pressure. They'll reach out to you when they're ready. Just make sure they know they're welcome, and keep living your life. Check in maybe once or twice a month to let them know the invitation is still there.

I'm going to assume by backseat moment you mean dissociating, and that's not really something you can stop entirely. You have a dissociative disorder my friend, dissociation comes with it I'm afraid. I would try and do some grounding and anchoring when that happens, as it can help bring you back to reality and feel a little less far away, but if it doesn't work, then... just let it happen. Oftentimes it's not harmful or dangerous, just... mostly inconvenient to you (though it has its purpose of course.) The more time you spend in therapy, the more you'll learn how to handle it. Drudging around trying to dig up alters who formed out of trauma is going to increase your dissociation too, because your brain has spent so long trying to keep you from finding out about it, and here you are prying. It's doing what it has relied on to protect you for however many years since your trauma started.

I hope things go well for you, anon, and I hope this could help at least some. If you or they ever need anything, my asks are open!

[romanarose]

Iris

Steven Grant X Reader

Summary: You and Steven go on a date and dance to a favorite song on yours.

Thank you to @ahookedheroespureheart for the idea!

This is kinda a song fic, it goes through the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, but if you are familiar with my other song fics like Some Nights or And so it Goes this one isn't STRICTED tied to the song. The song exists in the fic, it's not a vessel for which the fic exists in.

Anyway, here's Wonderwa- I mean Iris

How did you get here?

When Steven asked you out, you were nervous as hell. He was cute, of course, he was hot, actually. But he was a bit… odd. Not that you minded odd, necessarily. Hell, you were odd. But a girl’s gotta be careful. Steven was often late, looking disheveled and muttering, he could be seen talking to himself and would stare off into space. But the thing is… he was always kind. No matter how he looked like he might shatter if you touched him and no matter how it seemed he hadn’t slept in days, he greeted you with a smile and a hello. He greeted everyone like that. That’s what really endeared him to you and made you say yes to the date. Anyone can be nice to the person they have a crush on or are trying to fuck. Steven was just… kind. If he talked to himself a bit? Well, maybe you could live with that. 

One dinner, one shared dessert and 2 drinks later, you found yourself walking alone in a park in the dark with a man you barely knew. It was your idea, of course. Steven would never dare to suggest such a thing, he was far too aware of people's comfort levels for this. No, this was your idea. The night was warm and clear and perfect. Steven was perfect. You were doing laps around the park together and before you knew it, you felt like you had known him your whole life.

“Man, it’s been forever since I went to a concert. I always meant to but between the blip and covid and it seems nowhere is safe anymore, it’s probably been years.” You had talked about everything and anything, and now you were discussing your favorite music.

Steven was holding your hand “That’s too bad, you said you enjoy them so much… Maybe we could go sometime? I mean- uh-” He stopped the walk briefly “Well, I don’t want to assume there will be a second date… but…” he nodded down to the hand holding and raised his eyebrows.

You giggled and turned away “Yeah, I’d like another date, if you do.” You looked up at him hopefully.

Steven looked borderline bewildered, but he was smiling. “If I do? I would like nothing more in the world, darling.”

You blushed and grinned, wanting to turn away but his gaze was captivating. He looked at you so adoringly. “Another date it is. And yes, I’d love to go to a concert with you.”

He looked relieved, and continued walking. “Do you remember what the last show you went to was?”

You thought for a moment. “I think it was The Goo Goo Dolls. Yeah, definitely the Goo Goo Dolls. It was great, their music is just beautiful, romantic and gutting.”

“I can’t say I know much about music. I don’t know if I know them”

You squeezed his hand reassuringly. Steven knew a lot about a lot of things, but pop culture was not one of them. You knew he felt awkward when he was missing gaps of information. “I think you’d know their music if you heard one of their bigger songs, they were on the radio a lot 10-20 years ago.”

Steven stopped “Can you… can you maybe show me one?”

You smiled broadly. He was always so interested in your interests. “Yeah, I’ll show you the one that’s probably the most famous, Iris. This song live was incredible. They did that thing in the second verse where they cut the music and stop singing” You were fishing through your purse to find your phone “and it’s just the crowd carrying the line… they did that with the part ‘And you bleed just know you’re alive’ and you just feel like you just feel like you’re a part of something, you know?” You found it, pulling up the youtube app.

“I don’t, actually… but I look forward to you showing me” He smiled hopefully, as if you would reject him at any moment.

“I can’t wait. Here it is.” You start the song, and the familiar guitar already warms your heart.

Steven held his hand out for your phone. You didn’t know why he wanted it, but you gave it to him; he turned it all the way up and put it inside his pocket. 

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

“May I have this dance?” He bowed and held out his hand.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

You curtsied, awestruck at the perfect moment he had curated for you. “Always” you took his hand and he pulled you close into his arms.

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later, it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

You hadn’t noticed the clouds rolling in, you had been too distracted by the perfect evening. You never wanted this to end. Your hands rested on his chest, while one of his wrapped your shoulder and the other was chastely on your hip.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

How did Steven get here?

Marc thought he was crazy to ask you out when he only found out about Marc so recently, but he just couldn’t take the wait anymore. He had wanted you for so long, and here you were in his arms, as beautiful as he could imagine a person being. Something about you said that you could take him for all he was.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know, you're alive

How was everything going so perfectly? He couldn’t believe that you were here, in a park, dancing to a beautiful song beneath the stars. Oh. No more stars. Well that was alright. Everything was still perfect. He prayed to whatever god was out there that everything would work out.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

You tried your best to imprint everything into your memory. How firm his chest was, the smell of his skin, his chin resting on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him, hoping he wouldn’t slip away. You wouldn’t let it happen. You couldn’t.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Steven heard the rumble of thunder. He looked for a shelter, but it was already too late. The rain started. You held tightly onto him, dancing as the rain covered the two of you

When the guitar solo started, Steven took your hand “Over here, love” He took off running, pulling you behind him as you both grinned and giggled like lovestruck teenager as the instrumental picked up. You entered the gazebo as the song’s climax slowed. He took your face in his. “You are so beautiful, so, so beautiful.”

You looked into his large brown eyes, was it possible to be in love so fast?

When the chorus picked up again, for the final time, his mouth practically crashed into yours.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

He kissed with a passion, like it was a hello and a goodbye all at once. It was like he was attempting to memorize every inch of you; his tongue exoploring your willing mouth, his hands roaming your body. You returned the favor, pushing him up against the wall of the gazebo and rediscovered his chest for the second time tonight. In an uncharacteristic move, he grabbed your hips and turned you so that you were against the wall, asserting his dominance. You moaned, your chest rising against his as he pressed into you. He took your hands in his and pinned them above your head with one hand, his free hand still holding you, pressed flush against him.

When the kiss finally broke, your hands were still above your head, practically holding you up. Your body felt like jelly, you had never been this flushed, this turned on, from a kiss. He had never even touched anywhere private, and already you felt wet enough for him. Christ, the things he could do with his mouth. You couldn’t help but wonder… But when you opened your eyes, Steven was looking at you like you had hung the stars in the sky. 

He gently let your hands drop, sprinkling  little kisses along your face and neck. “I guess we know what our song is.”

You took his hair in your fingers, pulling him towards you. “Kiss me like that again, pretty boy.”

THANKS FOR READING!!!

Come check out my other fics in my masterlist and if you have requests, follow the link on the masterlist to see how I write for and what I write!!!

[vdlest]

Babysitters

Characters:

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:

Bruce and Nat were having a vacation in Hawaii for their wedding anniversary, so you and Bucky are left to babysit and take care of their son, Liam.

Warning:

Fluff

"Okay, go up to your Uncle Bucky and asked him to brush your teeth because you ate a lot of chocolates today and I'm sure your mom's gonna kill me for it," you said to the little combination of Bruce and Nat in front of you, their son, Liam.

Liam chuckled, "Don't worry Aunt Y/N, I won't tell Mommy," he even raised his right hand to promise, "It'll be our little secret, and Bubba," Liam raised the teddy bear that he's holding.

Nat and Bruce asked you and Bucky if Liam could stay with you in your shared house, and since you have nothing to do for the long weekend, you and Bucky agreed. Aside from that, you and Bucky also want to help the couple in enjoying their anniversary trip.

"That's great, little boy," you pinched his fluffy cheeks and guided him through the stairs, "Now, go up and tell that grumpy Uncle Bucky of yours to refill the water dispenser after he brushes your teeth, okay?"

Liam kiddingly salutes at you before he headed to the second floor of the house you and Bucky shared for almost 2 years now.

When Nat and Bruce thought of you and Bucky as Liam's companion slash babysitter while they're gone for their vacation, the two of you did not hesitate, you immediately said yes. The Banner family isn't a stranger to you and Bucky anymore as you grew closer to the couple after the blip.

Nat also suggested that this is somehow your "practice" for the near future, but you're still not sure of that.

You've been in a relationship with Bucky for so long now, that anytime you two could already get married and settle down. The only thing missing in your five-year relationship is a marriage that will bond the two of you for the rest of your lives and a ring that will stay wrapped around your fingers for as long as you both shall live.

But it's not that you and Bucky don't want to get married or anything, you two were already happy and content with whatever you two have. You don't need a grand ceremony to let the world know that you two are in love.

Liam went up to the second floor and ran inside his Uncle Bucky's office slash man-cave.

"Uncle Buck!" Liam sat down on Bucky's lap as the latter open his arms to welcome his favorite kid in the world.

When Liam was born, you and Bucky were excited as if you two were the parents. You two would always come to visit the Barnes in their farmhouse near Clint's, and you would always stay there just to see Liam and take care of him. And even though Liam is older now, Bucky is still so fond of him and so ready to take care of him anytime.

"Tomorrow's your last day with us. What do you want to do?" Bucky asked Liam. "You want to play some video games?"

But before Liam could say yes to his Uncle Bucky's idea, you heard them and yelled from the first floor.

"Uh, you know Nat's gonna kill me for putting so much sweets in her son's tummy, and I'm pretty sure Bruce and Nat's gonna kill you if you will disobey their rules about one video game time per week!" you yelled, making Bucky and Liam groan.

You clearly remember every rule and instruction that Nat and Bruce gave you when they drop Liam off. He's not allowed to eat junk foods, too many sweets aren't good for him as well, he's only allowed to play video games once a week, and so on.

"Maybe we could just go to the playground tomorrow," Liam suggested.

"That would be nice but let's ask your Aunt Y/N first if she has something in her mind too," Bucky said.

"What's that Uncle Buck?" Liam asked and points his finger towards a big corkboard inside Bucky's office.

The corkboard contains some random pictures, but most of them are pictures of you.

One hidden thing about Bucky is that he likes photography a lot. He has this fascination with memories that should be captured through camera lenses so you'll have something to reflect on as time passes by, but at the same time, he also believes that you could always keep memories inside a person's heart.

"Those are just random pictures," Bucky replied, but Liam didn't kind of mind his answer, the little kid is just staring at the corkboard like he was scanning every picture in it, "Wanna see them closely?" Bucky asked.

Liam nodded excitedly, so Bucky carried him and they walked towards the corkboard to let Liam see the pictures closely and clearly.

The kid "awe" in surprise when he saw and realized that most of the pictures flastered on the corkboard are pictures of you.

"See this one, Liam," Bucky points at the photo of you with Wanda in Paris, "Your Aunt Y/N and I went to Paris with your Aunt Wanda and Uncle Vis, and all they did was ask me to take a picture of them in every corner of the city."

Liam chuckles as he hugs his teddy bear, "Did you and Aunt Y/N got any pictures in the Eiffel tower?" the innocent kid asked.

"Well, thanks to the tripod, we had one," Bucky groaned, still remembering how annoyed he was when there's not a single good photo taken by either Wanda or Vision.

That was one of the best vacations you've had in the long run. It was actually Vision's idea to go to the city of love, and he also invited everyone to come and join, but only you and Bucky were able to join Vis and Wanda.

It is still unbelievable that you and Bucky fought in front of the Eiffel tower. You forgot what you two were fighting over, but when you both saw the Eiffel Tower, the both of you shut up and realized you are in the city of love, being surrounded by lovers.

"Why don't you ask Aunt Y/N to marry you?" Liam asked Bucky, making the latter stop in roaming his eyes around the pictures displayed on his wall and pinned his eyes on Liam.

Unknown to Bucky, you were standing and resting your back against the doorframe of his office, eavesdropping on both of them.

"Don't you want to marry her?" Liam shot another question and it made you even more interested in what Bucky's answer will be.

"Of course, I do," Bucky replied instantly, "It's just that we haven't talked about it, and I don't want to rush her about the idea of getting married. You see, getting married is a thing that needs to be talked about before you get into it. But I do wanna marry her."

Listening to how careful Bucky is in explaining everything to Liam made you reflect on how good a father he will be to your future children. You never thought of it, it never crossed your mind, you just thought of it at this very moment. And somehow, it made you more excited about what the future holds for you and Bucky.

You cleared your throat to let them know you're behind them.

Bucky, who is carrying Liam, turned around to face your direction. His face was blushing when he realized that you heard what he and Liam just talked about. It's something you two haven't talked about in so long.

"You two are so hard-headed," you shook your head in disbelief, "Liam, I told you to ask your Uncle Grumpy Bucky to brush your teeth, right?"

The little munchkin chuckled when you said Uncle Grumpy Bucky.

"I can just do it by myself," Liam volunteered, "Uncle Bucky has to ask you a question."

You raised your eyebrows as you look at Bucky, "Really?"

Liam nodded, "Yeah, he's gonna ask you to marry him," he innocently said. He, then, asked Bucky to put him down so he can go the bathroom and brush his teeth on his own, leaving you and Bucky together.

"I'll be there with you in a sec," Bucky told Liam when the kid exited the office. He walked towards you and grabbed both of your hands, "That kid is really Bruce and Nat's DNA, there's no single doubt on that."

You chuckle as you nod, "I know. Never thought Bruce and Nat will have a little version of themselves," you sighed, "God, that kid is growing old."

"And so are we," Bucky said.

Bucky stared at you relentlessly, as if he's memorizing each detail on your face. He even put a strand of hair behind your ear as he stares at you deeper and deeper.

"I think Liam's right," he suddenly said.

Your brows furrowed, "About what?"

"About me asking you to marry me. We've been together for five years now, and I am 100% sure, no, actually, more than 100% sure that you're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm sure about us. Besides, I want to have our own Liam. If you know what I mean," he gave you a small smile, not wanting to scare you about the topic he is talking to you about.

You nodded, "I know exactly what you mean, Bucky."

"Let's talk about it tomorrow," he leaned forward and kissed your forehead, "I'm gonna go check on Liam first, okay?"

"Okay," but before he could let go of your hand, you grabbed his wrist and made him face you again, "I hope you know that it'll be a yes."

Before he got out of the room, he walked back towards you and kissed you on your lips. So that night, you ended up being engaged to James Buchanan Barnes.

-v.dl

[tricksters-captain]

Bucky Barnes imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 4

AN: What a crazy episode! I definitely think this episode was one of the best so far and I cannot wait to see what happens next after that insane ending!

Overall Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.  

In this chapter: Now in Latvia, you and the boys must find Karli before the Dora take Zemo away (Based on S1 EP4)

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 6,123

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 4, violence, strong language.

Once inside Zemo’s apartment, you started to look through the cupboards. 

Zemo had excused himself to take a bath but you felt starved. 

Even with the limited stock you managed to whip something up for you and Sam. 

“Thank you.” Sam took the bowl from you gratefully. The food Zemo had given you on his private plane wasn’t exactly edible and you were still feeling the affects of the Nagel fail in your body. 

“Well, the Wakandans are here.” Bucky announced as he entered the apartment; having returned from his walk. “They want Zemo. Bought us some more time.”

“”Were you followed?” Sam looked up at him. 

“No.” Bucky made his way over to you and Sam by the kitchen island. 

“How can you be so sure?” Zemo pondered. 

“Cause I know when I’m being followed.” Bucky sent an unimpressed glance to the man in the bathrobe. 

You pushed a bowl of pasta towards Bucky but he shook his head and pulled out his phone.

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least.” Zemo stated. 

“Hey, you shut it.” Sam quipped. “No one’s defending you. You killed Nagel.” 

“You gotta eat.” You whispered to Bucky. 

“Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened?” Zemo rounded the island so he was closer to you all.

“I’ll eat later.” Bucky mumbled back to you as he furrowed his brow at twitter. 

“There’s nothing to litigate. You straight shot the man.” Sam argued with Zemo. 

“Sam.” Bucky had found something. 

“What?” Sam turned his attention to Bucky and away from Zemo. 

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.” Bucky showed you his phone screen so you could read.

“What? What’s the damage?” Sam’s concern grew quickly. 

“Eleven injured, three dead.” You said after skimming over the article. 

“They have a list of demands and are promising more attacks if those demands aren’t met.” Bucky added as Sam sighed. 

“She’s getting worse.” Zemo spoke up. “I have the will to complete this mission. Do the three of you?”

“She’s just a kid.” Sam was right. She was only young, she reminded you of you when you first joined the avengers. Desperate to fight for a cause. 

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there.” Zemo disagreed. “You’re clouded by it. She’s a supremacist. The very concept of a Super Soldier will always trouble people. It’s that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers.”

“You’re talking about our friends.” You felt the need to remind Zemo that you were actually apart of the Avengers as you placed your empty bowl in the sink. 

“The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Bucky felt the need to clarify. 

“So, Karli is radicalised, but there has to be a peaceful way to stop her.” Sam was determined there wasn’t a need for a fight. 

“The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her.” Zemo explained as he reached for the bowl you had originally offered Bucky. “Or she kills you.” 

You swatted his hand away to which he frowned at. 

“Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.” Bucky argued his point. 

“Touché.” Zemo picked up a biscuit instead. Holding it on his finger as he spoke. “But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

“Well, maybe we should give him to the Wakandans right now.” Bucky suggested to you and Sam as he moved over to the couch. 

“And you’ll give up your tour guide?” Zemo asked as he opened the cupboards to look for some food. 

“Yes.” Bucky didn’t hesitate. 

“From my understanding, Donya is like a pillar of the community, right?” Sam interrupted with a new thought. “So, when I was a kid, my TT passed away.”

“Your TT?” Bucky asked, unsure of what Sam had meant. 

“Yeah, my TT, yeah.” Sam nodded. 

“Who is your TT?” Bucky asked as you sat down beside him. 

“Fine. When I was a kid, my aunt passed away and the entire neighborhood got together for a ceremony. It was like a week long. Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya.” Sam proposed. He could be right. 

“Worth a shot.” You proclaimed. 

“Your TT would be proud of you.” Zemo sounded more awkward at the use of the phrase before he pulled out a fancy looking tin. “Turkish delight? Irresistible.”

Sam caught the small sweet that Zemo had thrown. 

“I say Zemo put’s some clothes on and we head over to the refugee camp that Donya was staying. See if anyone knows anything about a funeral or ceremony for her.” You ignored Zemo as he looked down at the sweets. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Sam stood from his seat at the island and looked over at Zemo. 

Zemo nodded before disappearing into a bedroom to change. 

It didn't take long to get to the camp from Zemo’s apartment. 

“Shame what’s become of this place. When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties. I knew nothing of the politics of the time, of course, but I remember it being beautiful.” Zemo seemed saddened by the state of the buildings being used as the camp. 

“I’m gonna take a look around upstairs. See what you can find out here. And keep an eye on him.” Sam told Bucky as he gestured to Zemo. 

“I’ll stay out of your way.” Zemo promised. 

“(Y/n), you look around through there. See if you can... You know.” Sam pointed down through one of the ground floor doors. You nodded and left the men.

Most of the adults fled when you entered the building but you noticed a young girl who looked too busy with what she was doing to notice. She had looked maybe 16 or 17 years old and she was embroidering an old silk scarf. 

“That’s beautiful.” You knelt down beside her but as you spoke, her eyes shot up and widened with shock and fear. 

“T-t-thank you.” She stuttered as her eyes flittered around the room for help. 

“It’s okay. I was just wondering if I could have a look at it.” You smiled softly at the girl as you held your hand out. 

She reluctantly gave it to you. 

“This truly is beautiful. You are very talented. May I buy it from you?” You placed your hand in your pocket and pulled out a note that you had previously stolen from Zemo’s jacket.

“You c-c-can have it.” She whispered as she stood. You rose with her as you folded the scarf to place into your pocket. 

“I insist.” You took her hand gently and cautiously and placed the money in her palm. She smiled but she still was nervous and full of worry. You figured she knew who you were. 

You folded your hands over hers and that’s when you unplugged the cork on your powers. 

You closed your eyes and within seconds all the girls memories flooded into your head. 

You tried not to react as it happened. 

You tried your best to filter through the memories quickly. When you reached the time after the blip, you slowed down. You saw the horrors of them being rejected, being abandoned and then you saw Mama Donya and Karli. 

You focused on Karli. 

You watched Karli smile and laugh with all the children, she’d play and look after them as Donya looked after Karli. 

Closer memories brought what seemed like events that only just happened. Karli visiting with supplies. 

You saw the mourning of Mama Donya from everyone and then you saw the arrangements for the funeral. 

You opened your eyes and let go of the girls hand. She thanked you again and left. She would have never realised what you had seen as the memories are shown to you within a matter of seconds. 

You leant against the table and inhaled deeply. 

You felt weak again. 

You pushed yourself off the table and headed back out to Bucky. 

Zemo was surrounded by a bunch of small children.

“You okay?”Bucky asked. The second you reappeared he immediately noticed a change in you. 

“I’m okay.” You lied. “I spoke to one of the teenagers inside. I looked inside her head. You were right, Sam. They are having a funeral but she only knew that she would be taken to it later this afternoon.” You explained as Sam joined you both. 

“Good work.” Sam wrapped his arm around you and gave you a small squeeze of appreciation. 

They both knew how hard it must've been for you to use your powers after the Nagel incident. 

The toll of touching the dead had knocked you for six in the past and in a matter of forty eight hours you had touched the dead and looked into the memories of a live person. 

You’ll need an energy boost before you can do this again. 

Zemo turned back to you and you all returned to the apartment. 

“Well, I got nothin’. No one’s talkin’ about Donya.” Bucky slouched down on the couch in defeat. 

“Yeah, it’s because Karli is the only one fighting for them.” Sam joined him on the couch. “And she’s not wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked. 

“For five years, people have been welcomed into countries that have kept them out using barbwire. There were houses and jobs. Folks were happy to have people around to help them rebuild. It wasn’t just one community coming together, it was the entire world coming together. And then, boom. Just like that, it goes right back to the way it used to be. To them, at least Karli’s doin’ somethin’.” Sam explained himself. 

“You really think her ends justify her means? Then, she’s no different than him or anybody else we’ve fought.” Bucky pointed over to Zemo. 

“She’s different. She’s not motivated by the same things.” Sam argued with Bucky.

“Sam’s right.” You spoke up. “When I looked into that girls head I saw a lot of Karli. She means a lot to those people, she is their light, their Captain America. But she’s just a kid. From what I saw she has a whole lot of love in her heart and I'm not saying that hurting and killing people is right but she sees it as the only way to help her people.” 

Zemo had walked over from the kitchen with a tray as you spoke. 

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?” Bucky questioned him. 

“The funeral is this afternoon.” Zemo only said what you already knew. 

“We know that. Now you know the Dora’s coming for you any minute. In fact, they’re probably lurking outside right now. Keep talking.” Bucky demanded. 

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli. Hmm. I prefer to keep my leverage.” Zemo sure knew how to push someone’s buttons. 

Bucky shot up and threw Zemo’s cup against the wall. The crashing of the glass made both you and Sam jump to your feet. 

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky threatened Zemo. 

“Take it easy. Don’t engage him. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Sam tried to de-elevate the situation. “Let me make a call.”

“You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo offered Bucky as Sam walked away.

“No, you go ahead.” Bucky grumbled, scowling at the Baron. 

“Come on.” You took Bucky’s hand and pulled him away from Zemo. 

You headed into the bathroom and started to fill up the tub with some cold water. 

“Will you get me some ice?” You asked Bucky to which he complied. 

Once the tub was full of ice water, you stripped and climbed inside. 

Bucky had taken a stool and faced the door to give you some privacy. 

“You shouldn’t let him get to you.” You said as you settled into the water. Your body was screaming at you as the ice touched it but you knew it’d give you the wake up call you and your muscles needed. 

“I don’t.” Bucky grimaced. 

“You don’t? Oh, so the shattered cup in the other room was just a scare tactic?” You mused. 

“Yep.” Bucky grumbled. 

“Okay.” You sighed before going under. 

The cold water hit your brain and you immediately sat back up. 

“Feel better?” Bucky had heard the splashing of the water. 

“Yeah.” You admitted, running your hands over your face and hair. “Can I have my towel?”

Bucky kept his back to you as he passed you the towel. 

You wrapped it around you and stepped out. 

“You can look.” You told him.

Bucky turned and his eyes went straight to the bruises that covered your legs and arms. 

“I’m okay, Buck.” You assured him as you watched the cogs turning in his head. 

“I forget you aren’t...” Bucky’s words dropped off as he stepped closer and lightly took your arm, examining the damage. 

“That I’m not a super soldier?” You smirked. “I may bruise but I can hold a lot more than most, Buck.” 

“Doesn’t stop me worrying.” Bucky admitted as he lowered your arm. 

“I know.” You whispered, looking up at the man’s deep blue eyes.

“You better get dressed. You already know what Sam is thinking with us both being gone right now.” Bucky went to go towards the door when you stopped him. 

“I had a dream about Wakanda on the plane ride here.” You confessed. 

Bucky stopped and looked back at you. 

“It was the day you finally beat the Winter Soldier.” You told him. 

*Flashback*

“These are incredible, Shuri.”  You smiled widely as you threw the new high tech Vibranium knives that Shuri had made for you. 

“I know. I know.” Shuri was well aware of her awesome brain. 

Shuri pressed the combat button on the wall which simulated attackers for intense weapon training. 

You inhaled as you closed your eyes. 

A footstep gave away your first attacker. You threw the knives to the holograms and the attackers were down. You ducked and dodged and jumped around the room as you practised with the knives. 

Shuri cheered you when you finished. You smiled through your heavy breaths and Shuri jogged towards you to give you a fist bump. 

“You are something else, my friend.” Shuri praised you. 

The doors opening behind you made both you and Shuri turn to see who had entered. 

It was Bucky. 

He rushed towards you with a bright smile. His lips seemed to quiver and his eyes were glassy. Something had happened. 

It had happened.

He embraced you tightly and you returned it. Your fingers gripped onto Bucky’s long hair as he buried his face in your neck. 

You looked back at Ayo (who had followed Bucky) and Shuri and mouthed a ‘Thank you’. 

Ayo bowed her head at you before leaving the hall. 

Bucky had finally gotten over HYDRA’s programming after all these years of being held prisoner by a few words. 

You and Bucky stayed like that for what felt like hours. The relief from Bucky washed over you and bound him to you until he was ready to part. 

It was an incredible day.

*End of Flashback*

“Maybe you could sense that the Dora’s were close on our tails.” Bucky suggested. 

“No, we all knew that they’d come for Zemo eventually.” You dismissed the idea. “I think it was after seeing Zemo treat you like him again.” 

Bucky remained silent. 

“I don’t think I ever told you how proud I was of you that day.” You folded your arms over your chest as you leant back on the tub.

“You didn't need to.” Bucky assured you. “I already knew.” 

You watched Bucky leave the bathroom so you could change. 

When you had returned to the main space again it was just about time to head out again. 

You felt a little nervous as you didn’t really want a fight with Karli since you weren’t 100% but you figured you had felt a hell of a lot worse before.

As you left the apartment, a voice and face you didn’t particularly wanna see called out. 

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John Walker and his little side kick were walking down some stairs towards you. 

“Ah! How’d you find us now?” Bucky called back. 

“Come on. You think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Lemar, Walker’s partner, scoffed. 

“No more keeping us in the dark. You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” Walker pointed out Zemo. 

“He did that himself, technically.” Bucky corrected Walker.  

“This better be an unbelievable explana––”

“––Hey, take it easy before it gets weird.” Sam interrupted Walker before things could get heated in front of civilians.

“I know where Karli is.” Zemo kept walking as the others stopped. 

“Well, where?” Walker asked, stopping Zemo by stepping in his way. 

“All we know is it’s a memorial. So, we’re gonna intercept her there.” Sam informed them.

“That means civilians. High risk of casualties.” Lemar relaid to his partner as you continued to walk.

“All right, good, we’ll move in fast. Take her by surprise.” Walker started to talk through his plan when Sam stopped him. 

“No, I wanna talk to her alone.”

“I’m not losing her again.” Walker argued with Sam. 

“Look, the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable. Now is the best time to reason with her.” Sam was trying to defend his reasoning but Walker wasn’t having it. 

“What? No. Wait, no! No! Stop. Hold on. Stop, okay?” Walker ran up ahead to stop everyone again. “I think we’re way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.” 

“Sam, you walk in there cold, she could kill you, man.”Lemar tried backing up his partner. 

“If I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die.” Sam handed over the other scenario. 

“You’ll let him do this?” Walker looked between you and Bucky. “Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone?”

“He’s dealt with worse.” Bucky told him flatly. “And he’s not my partner.”

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is in my wheelhouse.” Sam walked past you and Bucky to face Walker.

“I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this is a bad idea.” Walker still wasn't on board. 

“Wait, John.” Lemar stopped Walker.  “If he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.”  

“Thank god Battle-scar here has some sense.” You declared. 

“It’s Battle Star actually.”Lemar smiled at you but you ignored him. 

“We’ll deal with you later.” Walker told Zemo as he caved in.

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Zemo lead you towards the young girl he had spoken to earlier that day. 

“Hello, my friend. This is for your family. Can you show us the way?” Zemo handed her some money and the girl beckoned for you all to follow.  

“What the hell?” Walker seemed a little confused by Zemo’s ‘associate’ being 12.

The girl lead you to the building where the funeral was being held and you all waited for a signal. 

“Karli’s in there.” Zemo announced as the girl ran off. 

Sam went in whilst Walker cuffed Zemo. 

“You got 10 minutes. Then we are doing things my way.” Walker told Sam before he left. 

“Aggressive.” Zemo mumbled after being handcuffed. “But I get it.”

You rolled your eyes subtly at both Walker and Zemo. 

You took up a position by the door with Bucky. 

You watched Walker sit down, his grip on the shield was tight as he slowly huffed in and out. 

You frowned as you studied the man. Your eyes glanced over to Zemo who was also watching Walker. 

You shared a look before you let your eyes fall back down to your feet.  

“Uh-uh. No, no, no. This is a bad idea.” Walker started to pace as he let his impatience get the best of him. 

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky sighed unimpressed by the young solder. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronise me.” Walker glared back at Bucky. 

“Sam knows what he’s doing.” You backed Bucky up. 

You all watched Walker stop as he thought. His heavy breathes causing his chest to rise up and down quickly. 

“I’m goin’ in.” Walker didn’t want to listen anymore. He stormed towards the door but both you and Bucky stepped in his way.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum runnin’ through your veins.” Walker didn’t even look at you as he squared up to Bucky. 

That really bothered you.

You took hold of the man’s upper arm and yanked him to look at you. 

“You may be Captain America right now but we don’t follow you. We said we’d give him 10 minutes. So, he’s getting 10 minutes.” You glowered at the man. 

“Your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?” Walker leant towards you, trying to be intimidating but it wasn’t working. 

“Just wait.” You looked the man in the eye with a subtle threat in your stare. His jaw clenched as he tugged his arm away from you. 

Walker went back to look at the clock again. 

After a couple more minutes, he tried once more. 

“Time’s up! Our turn.” Walker didn’t hesitate to push past you as he charged ahead. 

Bucky kept his tongue in his cheek as he watched it happen. 

You and Bucky stayed behind Walker and his partner as they marched ahead.

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.” Walker announced as he entered the room. 

“This is what that was?” Betrayal flashed across Karli’s face as she looked at Sam. 

“No, wait––” Sam didn’t have a chance now that Walker had intervened.

“––Tricking me until help came?” Karli started to back away. 

“We had enough time to talk.” Walker exclaimed as he headed straight for Karli. 

“Nazi! “ Karli wasn't going the easy way. She hit Walker back and he went straight into a table. 

Lemar tried to keep you and Bucky back but you had easily managed to get round him to chase after Karli. 

Bucky being what he was managed to get ahead of you but you were close on their trail. 

Sam had found his own way but ultimately you all lost Karli. 

“I lost her.” Bucky sighed.

“This place is a maze.” Sam looked around at the several doorways with a frown. 

The sound of gunshots is what caught your attention next. 

“Come on.” You rushed through the building trying to get to the source. 

You didn’t manage to get there before Walker did. 

Zemo was unconscious on the floor and vials of the serum were smashed around the concrete floor. 

“What happened?” You asked as you looked down at the mess. 

“He was shooting at Karli. I stopped him but she got away.” Walker lifted his shield a little to symbol how he had stopped Zemo. 

“Let’s get him up.” Sam started down the stairs and you followed. 

Zemo woke up after a little encouragement and some smelling salts. You had decided it was best if you split up on your way back to the apartment. 

You and Sam were going to stay with Zemo and see if you can dig up anything on socials and the computer and Bucky was going to do a round and see if she had holed up anywhere familiar. 

Sam sat at his computer, he was contacting Sharon whilst you stood with your phone searching Twitter to see if any Flag Smashers appearances or Karli were popping up in recent tweets. 

Zemo laid down on the couch with a wet towel and a strong glass of scotch. 

“You got anything?” Sam asked you. 

“Nothing. I don’t think we’ll find her this time if she doesn’t want us too.” You put your phone down in defeat. It wasn't usual for people to give her Karli’s location anyway. 

“I think you’re right.” Sam hated to agree but this was the first time you had come close to actually talking Karli down and it failed. 

“And now with the serum’s gone. Who knows what her next move will be.” You knew that Karli didn’t have the option to create more super soldiers now and that gives her a disadvantage. The idea of an army is gone now and she would only have her current foot soldiers to help her. 

Zemo moved for the first time in ten minutes as he lifted his cold compress. 

“Were you ever offered it?" He asked aloud. 

“What?” Sam furrowed his brow at the man. 

“The serum.” Zemo replied. 

“No.” Sam smirked at the idea. 

“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?” Zemo inquired. 

“No.” Sam answered instantly, his smile dropping. 

“No hesitation. That’s impressive.” Zemo nodded before removing his towel. “Sam. (Y/n). You can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes become yet another faction of gods amongst real people. Super Soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

“Isn’t that how gods talk?” Sam queried. “And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?” There was a silence from Zemo. “Blood isn’t always the solution.” 

Before the conversation could continue, the door opened and Bucky strode inside.

“Something’s not right about Walker.” Bucky stated as he removed his jacket. 

“You don’t say.” Sam huffed with amusement. It was clear as day that Walker was at his wits end with the pressure on him.

“Well, I know a crazy when I see one. Because I am crazy.” Bucky poured himself a glass of whiskey. You rolled your eyes at his statement. 

“Can’t argue with that.” Sam retorted. 

“Shouldn’t have given him the shield.” Bucky was back on this topic again. 

“I didn’t give him the shield.” Sam rose to his feet to face Bucky.

“Well, Steve definitely didn’t.” Bucky sipped on his drink just as the doors flew open. 

All right. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m now ordering you to turn him over.” Walker commanded, his face red and his ears steaming. 

“Hey, slow your roll. Shield or no shield, the only thing you’re runnin’ in here is your mouth. Now, I had Karli and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’ll need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.” Sam approached Walker to try and pump his breaks. 

“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, Sam, huh?” Walker chuckled softly as Sam remained silent. “Yeah. Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?”

Sam scoffed, shaking his head at the man’s antics. 

Walker put down the shield but the only thing flying next was a spear that struck the pillar by Walker’s head. 

It was the Dora Milaje. 

They had come for Zemo. 

From your time in Wakanda you understood the language as Ayo spoke to Bucky. 

“Even if he is a means to an end. Your time is up.” Ayo reverted back to English. “Release him to us now.” 

Walker introduced himself to Ayo, not that she cared for him.

“Well let’s, uh, put the pointy sticks down and we can talk this through, huh?” Walker suggested, only to be met, yet again, by silence from the Dora’s.

“Hey, John, take it easy. You might wanna fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.” Sam tried to warn him but he wasn’t backing down. 

“They don’t have jurisdiction here––”

“––The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.” Ayo cut Walker short. 

“Okay.” John chuckled lightly. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Walker made the mistake of putting his hand on Ayo’s shoulder. 

Ayo responded with an attack. 

The surrounding Dora’s fell into defence positions as Ayo and Walker fought.  Lemar bounced into action, trying to help his partner out but it only warranted in more fighting. Or more asses getting kicked by the Dora Milaje. 

“We should do something.” Sam said as you, him and Bucky stood together watching. 

“Looking strong, John.” Bucky called out. 

“Bucky!” You tried not to laugh as you scolded the man. 

“Guys...” Sam nodded to Ayo about to strike John with her spear which made Bucky reluctantly intervene. 

“Ayo, let’s talk about this.” Bucky only landed himself directly in the mess. 

You realised how serious this was as Ayo didn’t hold back and went ahead to help Bucky. Sam went over to help Lemar but was met by more Dora's.

You grunted as one of the women attacked you. You had almost forgotten just how incredible they were at combat. Almost. 

You were backed against a wall with the spear to your chest when the room fell silent. 

You looked over at Bucky to see his arm was on the floor. 

You wanted to move towards him but you were stuck until orders were given to release you. 

“He is gone. Leave it.” Ayo had opened the bathroom doors to reveal the manhole had been opened. Zemo had escaped. 

You were trying to slow your breathing when finally the Dora’s fell back. 

She retracted her spear and left with Ayo and the others. 

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked Bucky as he pushed himself off the floor. 

Bucky reattached his arm. He groaned as he swung it round to adjust it. 

“No.” He said but the shock on his face from before had already given away that answer. 

You looked past Bucky to where Walker was still on the floor. 

“You all right, man?” Lemar offered his hand to help him up. 

“They weren’t even Super Soldiers.” You heard Walker mutter. 

“Come on.” Lemar tugged him to his feet. 

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.” Sam walked over to the bathroom and stared at the hole. 

“I can.” Bucky wasn’t really that surprised and neither were you truthfully. 

“Come on.” You beckoned the boys out of the apartment so you could talk. 

You got down to the streets and away from Walker before you spoke again. 

“Walker isn’t stable. He’s on the brink of cracking.” You kept your voice low as you spoke to the boys. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. 

“We may not like him but he’s not stupid. He knows that he can’t be Steve, do the things Steve did and it’s killing him. He's so obviously trying to win this fight by himself and it’s going to drive him insane if he isn’t the one to beat Karli.” 

“But he can’t beat Karli. You saw her kick him across the room like he was a cardboard box.” Sam reminded you of what happened earlier. 

“We have to get to Karli before he does because he’s either gonna stop her or kill himself trying.” You weren't worried for the man but worried about what would happen if he finally snapped. 

Suddenly, Sam’s phone started to ring. It was his sister. 

“She said what? Right. Hold on, hold on. I know, I know. Listen, pack an overnight bag and take the boys...” Sam sounded worried. 

“What happened?” Bucky asked. 

“Karli called Sarah. She threatened my nephews.” Sam told you both. “Okay. Go somewhere safe. Only pay cash. All right? Tell me when you arrive. I know. Look, I love you. I’ll never let anything happen to you and the boys. Okay. Bye.” He hung up and then immediately texted an unknown number. 

“What does she want?” You knew Karli was desperate but threatening kids was a different story.

“Karli wants to meet. She left a contact number.” Sam’s phone buzzed with a new text. “She said come alone.”

“We’re coming with you.” Bucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

“Alright but keep your distance.” Sam didn’t bother to fight you on it. “We better suit up.” 

You suited up by adding a few more weapons to your body. You placed your favourite thigh holsters on that held your Vibranium knives out on display. 

Sam got his wings and soon you were at the location. 

“Karli!” Sam bellowed as you entered the building. 

Karli leant over a balcony to make herself seen. You remained on the ground floor but looked up at the girl. Bucky followed Sam. 

“You called my sister? That’s how we’re gonna play this?” Sam was upset and understandably so. 

“Sam, I would never hurt her. I just wanted to understand you better.” Karli confessed.“I see you, um, didn’t come alone.”Karli peered down at you then up at Bucky. 

“You have to end this now.” Sam told her. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re a tool in the regimes I’m looking to destroy. You’re not hiding behind a shield. If I were to kill you, it’d be meaningless. I was gonna ask you to join me. Or do the world a favour and let me go.” Karli spoke pretty boldly for someone who seemed to be alone. Super Soldier or not. 

“Hey, Sam, new Cap is moving, looks like he’s found them, or maybe they found him.” Sharon’s voice came through on Sam’s intercom. 

“It’s Walker.” Sam looked down at you and then Bucky. 

Karli jumped from the balcony at the realisation the jig was up but Bucky was quick to jump too. 

Karli kicked Bucky back but you managed to weaken Karli as you flipped over and kicked her in the jaw. 

Sam put her down momentarily as he flew down and kicked her also. 

“I’ll send you the location. Go!” Sam ordered both you and Bucky before he took off. 

You knew Bucky would be fast enough to run there but you didn’t have that luxury. 

You crossed the street to a parked motorbike and opened up it’s wiring. Just as you managed to get it running, Sam’s coordinates came through. 

You docked your phone and set off. 

You dodged through the narrow streets and traffic to arrive at another large building. Karli must have a favour for buildings you could get lost in. 

You drove through the doors and skidded to a stop. 

Bucky had gotten there before you. You could hear his grunts from a flight or two up. 

You raced up them only to be met by a super soldier fighting Bucky. 

You sent a knife forward, it embedded itself into the man’s soldier, he cried out which gave Bucky some time to throw him down the stairs. 

You tucked up, over the tumbling body, holding onto the railing and the wall. 

Bucky jumped over the rails and with one final blow knocked the soldier unconscious. 

“Stay there.” Bucky told him before climbing back up to you. He thanked you for the help, handing you back the knife that had been in the man’s shoulder. 

You then both went ahead to find Sam and Walker. 

They were fighting more super soldiers a floor up. 

You didn’t hesitate to go in for the attack.

You pulled a knife and threw it to Bucky for help; he caught it midair. 

You screamed with frustration as the soldier you were fighting, pulled your arm behind you and slammed you into the pillar. You managed to swivel around, taking out the soldiers legs as you freed your arm. 

You threw a knife into both his biceps. You only intended to injure, not kill, them anyway. 

He groaned as he pulled them and tried to use them against you. 

All at once, the fighting stopped when you all witnessed Karli kick Lemar into one of the concrete pillars. 

Lemar’s body slumped down with blood painted across his lips. 

John broke free from his attacker and slowly made his way over to Lemar. 

From the sight of the body, you already knew he wasn’t walking out of there. 

Walker desperately tried to wake him up. 

That’s when Karli took her chance to flee. 

You and the boys took off after her but lost her again pretty quickly. 

When you rounded the building, you saw a crowd gathering. 

What you saw next made you feel psychically sick. 

John Walker stood above Karli’s right hand man, blood splattered up Steve’s shield and across his uniform. 

He had killed the man in front of all these civilians. He had killed a man as Captain America. 

(PART 5 HERE)

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[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter One

Chapter One: The Other Wilson Sister - chapter two

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n grew up with Sam and Sarah Wilson in the bayou of Delacroix. During the Blip she stayed with Sarah to help run the family business. With Sam back and trying to save the day, Y/n’s perfect opportunity to confess her long-kept secret to her best friend presents itself.

Warnings: tfatws ep.1 spoilers, language, suicide mention, undertones of racism, lots of Wilson sibling arguments, tragic backstory

Word Count: 5.9k

A/N: As I wrote this first chapter out I realized it’s most definitely also a Sam Wilson x platonic fic. Bucky doesn’t come in till next chapter but rest assured, it’s gonna be a wild ride...Also I didn’t know till now how difficult it is to plan out a series in its entirety when the show isn’t completed lol. Hope you enjoy! (I may or may not change the title depending on how I feel about it later today lol)

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Delacroix, LA 2024

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One of the only things I was certain of in life was that blood didn’t make a family.

I had no official tie to Wilson family, I wasn’t a daughter or some distant cousin sent to live with them. We shared no DNA and they had no reason to love me as much as they did. But throughout my life I had known no kinder people than them and I doubted that would change. As I stood on the family boat helping to unload the catch of the day, I thought of how our corner of the Louisiana bayou felt more like home than any place I’d ever been.

“Hey,” Sarah said from the dock, “Head out of the clouds and down here helping me.” “Sorry,” I shook myself out of my thoughts and hopped off the boat, “Not a bad catch if you ask me.”

Sarah sighed as she bent over a large bucket of fish, “It could’ve been better.” I came to stand in front of her and held my hands out for a bucket, “Take the wins where you can get ‘em, Sar. Lord knows we don’t get enough of them.” Sarah Wilson was the only superhero I’d ever aspire to be like. She was a widow who had raised two kids and run a business all by herself with no family for support. The past five years had been challenging with so many people gone and while I had moved in with her to help however I could, I could take no credit. She was one of the strongest women I’d ever known.

“You had that look on your face again,” she said as we worked.

“What look?”

“That look that lets me know you were thinking real hard about something,” Sarah imitated the expression in question by thinning her eyes slightly and furrowing her brows, “Like this.” I laughed heartily at her impression, “So what was it?” I gazed out at the bayou waters before turning to the boat and finally Sarah, “Family.”

She nudged me with her hip, something we’d done when we were young and an affectionate gesture we’d carried into adulthood. A half hour went by with us and the boys unloading and sorting the fish we’d caught. I was too wrapped up in the task to notice the sound of a vehicle approaching until AJ and Cass announced the arrival. 

“Blue for the snapper, orange for the whitefish.”

“Uncle Sam!”

My head shot up upon hearing his name, as did Sarah’s. I used my hand as a visor against to sun to spot the familiar rusted truck parked a few hundred feet away, with my best friend standing outside it hugging his nephews.

“That’s right, Uncle Sam,” Sarah called, “You’re back early.”

I grinned as I shucked my gloves off and made a beeline for him, slamming my body into his for a tight embrace. It had been a few weeks since I’d seen him, having spent the only weekend he was off away, and I’d naturally been worried sick about him. My best friend and un-biological brother may have been an Avenger for years, but after losing him in the Blip I didn’t think I’d ever stop worrying about him.

“Every time I come home, you act like I’ve been gone for five years,” he joked over my shoulder, resulting in me pulling away and slapping his bicep.

“Not even a little funny,” I pointed a finger in his smug face, he slung an arm around my neck as we walked over to Sarah.

“What’s goin’ on? You got Mom’s sneaky look on your face.” “How you gonna try to read me when you know I’m the one that reads you?” Sam smiled, passing by and greeting a long time customer of ours. “That look is permanently glued to his face, Sar,” I chuckled, “I learned that in grade school.” Sam shook his head at me and laughed before making his way up the dock to the Wilson family boat. “You gotta marvel at it, baby’s being held together by duct tape and prayers.” I leaned into Sarah, “Are you telling him or am I?” She took the initiative, “It just needs to float long enough for me to sell it.” “I thought we were gonna discuss if we were selling it,” Sam replied as he helped unload another bucket of fish. “We did, and then you were off fighting Doctor Space Cape or whatever while we,” Sarah gestured between us, “Were holdin’ it together for five long years. Now that the world is going back to normal, this thing’s gotta go.”

Sam looked to me with a look of displeasure, “Were you in on this?” “Don’t drag me into this,” I waved my hands as if wiping my involvement away, “This is a Wilson sibling discussion.” “Uh-uh,” Sam called me out, wagging his finger, “Don’t do that. Dad said every chance he got that you were one of his own, you’ve got a say in this too. What is it?” I scrunched my face up, dreading the argument that was knocking on our door, “It’s dead weight, Sam. The money we could get for it would be enough to keep us comfortable for a little longer without having to worry.” “We grew up on this thing. It’s not just Mom and Dad’s name on it. This thing is a part of our family.”

I sighed as Sarah stepped forward, “You know the situation we’re in. This is why I prefer not to dwell on it in front of everybody.” “Well what if we don’t need to sell it?” Sam said. “Can we talk about this in private?” I suggested, tiring of having to convince Sam that we were in the right when he hadn’t been around to witness our struggles. A long time friend of ours called out to Sam and he willingly took the distraction, opting out of having the inevitable difficult conversation. Sarah and I trudged back, totes of fish in hand and tried to get through the rest of the work day without worrying if we were approaching our last.

————

During golden hour, when the clock had struck five and we’d started packing it up for the day was the only time to get Sam to actually listen. I knew how much the boat meant to him, it meant something to us all, but he wasn’t living in the reality that Sarah and I were.

“Sam, the boat’s gotta go,” Sarah finally said, breaking the silence we were working in on the vessel. “Wait-“ “No, let me finish,” she said, “Y/n and I are doin’ everything I can to keep this business afloat and every day we’re making $5 and spending $10.” Sam looked between the two of us, “So why won’t you let me help?” 

“Sam, don’t…” I winced, knowing Sarah’s reaction would be strong.

“No, don’t start with that. We made a deal before Daddy died,” Sarah carried a few buckets to the center of the deck, “You’re out there, I do things my way here. Y/n agreed to it too when she went off to school.” “Right, but you tangled the house into this when you took those loans,” Sam finished tying off one of the ropes, turning around and giving Sarah the perfect opportunity to punch his chest, “Forgot how hard you hit.” I sighed as I passed him by to follow Sarah, “Low blow, you deserved it.” 

“Sarah, Y/n, c’mon,” he chased after us, “Look, and don’t hit me again…What if you had money to fix it up? Make it nice so you can charter it when you’re not out working the waters?” “Sam, do you think this was an easy decision for us?” I faced him, leaning against the doorway next to him, “I tried every tactic I learned in business school and got nowhere. Anything I thought up, we needed more money to do. This is our only option.” As he always did with the things he cared about, he fought. “We can take a loan and consolidate everything, it’ll take down your monthly,” he looked confused as he watched Sarah laugh, “What?” “You think I didn’t try the banks? They’re in with all that big business now.” I followed them like the little sister I’d always been as they moved their fight towards the cockpit of the boat. Sam blocked another doorway, “Yeah, but now you have me.”

“Don’t, Sam,” Sarah shook her head, “I just got good with this.”

“All right…”

“Maybe it is time for us to move on,” Sarah sighed. “Either way, just let me help,” Sam offered, “I’ll set the appointment. Look, I won’t let you guys down. We can turn this shit around. Trust me.” I peered over at Sarah, wishing I could see the calculations going on in her brain. It seemed pointless, but any shot at changing our luck was an avenue worth pursuing.

“It can’t hurt to try,” I shrugged.

Sarah finally relented, “To the rescue, huh?”

“Always,” Sam smiled, “Now, let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry.” ————

Sarah was taking AJ and Cass back home while Sam and I took his truck to go pick up food.

“So how was Tunisia?” I asked, sticking my hand out the window and letting it rise and fall with the wind.

“Hot, but the mission went well,” he answered, looking out of the corner of his eyes at me, “And that’s all you need to know.”

I snickered, “C’mon, it’s our thing. I ask you detailed questions about your confidential missions, you tell me you can’t reveal anything, I keep asking…You’ve gotta honor tradition.” “I flew, I fought, I rescued. Boom, mission explained.” “Ugh, you’re impossible, Wilson,” I waved him off, “How was the museum dedication?” The atmosphere changed as the subject of conversation changed from easy to complicated. “It was nice to see Steve’s accomplishments celebrated. Got to see Rhodes which was nice…” “You’re avoiding a red white and blue topic,” I said, trying to coax his true feelings out of their shells, “Seriously, are you really okay with this? Giving up the shield?” Sam inhaled deeply and exhaled, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t think it was ever meant to end up in my hands. I did the right thing, it belongs with Steve and the museum is the closest to Steve I can get.” I respected my friend’s choice but I knew there was so much more to his decision and I wished he would just say it. He had an enormous amount of respect for Steve Rogers and what the shield represented, but Steve Rogers never had to face the issues that Sam Wilson did. Steve Rogers could follow a government and be respected in return with no problems whatsoever. Sam Wilson couldn’t, not always. There was an elephant in the room and if neither of us wanted to talk about it, I wouldn’t push it.

“You’d have looked good in that uniform though,” I smiled as we turned into the take out place’s parking lot.

“Damn right,” Sam waggled his eyebrows and unbuckled his seatbelt. Laughter rang out in the truck sending me on waves of nostalgia. The memories that me and him had in this truck still were infamous between us. As proud as I was of the Falcon’s heroics, I was prouder to call Sam Wilson my best friend.

————

Just as he’d promised, Sam made the appointment with the banker. He and Sarah were already on their way as I made the hour long drive in the opposite direction to New Orleans. I’d told them I’d be back in the evening to discuss how it went, but I had my own appointment to keep.

Sam and I had met back when we were just a couple of first graders. I’d always struggled with making friends as a kid, but Sam never had an issue when it came to connecting with others. It was one of his strongest qualities. And so he used his gift on his desk neighbor, the loneliest kid in class, and pulled her out of herself. We were inseparable until college and adulthood forced us apart, but we’d never lost our bond. Even when he was a pararescue, he wrote to me as often as his work allowed him.

All the Wilsons had taken a liking to me after Sam brought me home one day after school to watch cartoons. Darlene had told me I was welcome to come over any time I wanted, an offer Sam and I accepted till I became a permanent fixture in their house. Paul and his wife had frequently tried to get the rest of my family over for a crawfish boil or a barbecue. They’d send me every few weeks with a verbal invitation to my parents and the next day I’d always come back with a polite decline and excuse as to why we couldn’t make it. Mom was busy with spring cleaning, Melanie had a recital, Dad was feeling under the weather…

The only one that had ever been true was about my dad not feeling well. He was never well. But as a child, how do you explain that your father is a ghost around his own home who drinks himself to sleep and wakes up each night screaming from nightmares? There was no polite way to phrase circumstances that dark. Sometimes I felt like my dad had never returned from the military and though there hadn’t been a war at the time of his service, he still came back with his share of trauma. Mom did everything she could to try and help him. She found support groups for veterans, she took him to the best psychiatrists, she created a safe space for him within our home to retreat to. There was no amount of help that could kill my father’s demons and that was proven the night he’d said we were out of milk and he was going to the store. A few hours later, with my sister and I fast asleep upstairs, my worried mother answered the door and was informed by the police that my father had crashed his car and was dead. After speaking to Mom about what his mood had been like before he’d left and if he suffered from any mental illnesses, it was ruled as an undoubtable suicide.

My mother didn’t get much time to mourn after the funeral, she had two children to provide for. She took three jobs just to earn enough to move us from our house in New Orleans to a dingy apartment in Delacroix by the bayou. When the Wilsons heard that Mom needed to scrape enough money in the budget to hire a baby-sitter for me and Melanie, they put a stop to her efforts immediately. The insisted that Mel and I would be happier spending the time my mom was working with them and their kids rather than a stranger. That was how the Wilsons and the Y/l/ns had ended up so tightly knit. While Sarah and Melanie had bonded as the older sisters and were often off doing their own thing, Sam and I caused havoc of our own in classic younger sibling fashion. By the time we were in high school, both parents called the other’s children their own.

When Paul and Darlene passed away, it was incredibly hard on all of us and it was equal when Mom had a fall and the doctors suggested she move into a facility. Sam, Sarah and I had worked hard to get her into one of the best nursing homes in the city and she hadn’t stopped raving about how much she loved it. Pulling into the parking lot was like muscle memory now, I never missed a weekend visit with her. This one was special because Melanie, her husband and brood of children had come too. I grabbed my visitor’s sticker at the front desk and made my way down the familiar hallways. The sound of laughter and cooing echoed out of my mom’s room, bringing a smile to my face.

I knocked on the door and heads turned, my nieces and nephews being the quickest. “Aunt Y/n!” I embraced Sophia and Max tightly, “The twin tornados! I missed you guys,” separating from them was difficult as they clung to me but I made it to Stephan, giving him a kiss on the cheek and doing the same to Mel, “You look hot, mama.” “I certainly don’t feel it,” she remarked as she cradled their newest addition, baby Alexandra, close to her chest, “I spend more hours of the day covered in glitter glue and spit up than you could imagine.” “You wear it all well,” I patted her shoulder before coming to my mother’s bedside and hugging her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” she kissed both of my cheeks and looked to the door, “Sarah and Sam couldn’t come?” “No, but they send their love. They had an appointment at the bank,” I set down my purse and pulled up a chair, “We’re trying to get approved for a small business loan.”

Glen took Alexandra from Mel so she could tend to the twins, “I wish we could help out, Y/n. I’ve looked at the budget over and-“ It warmed my heart that my brother-in-law cared so much about a problem that wasn’t his to bear. “Glen,” I held up a hand, “You guys are stretched thin enough. This isn’t me asking for charity, it’s our problem and Sam’s confidant we’ll find a fix.” “How does he have enough time to be a member of the Air Force, an Avenger and save the family business?” Mel asked.

“Well, the Avengers are kind of off doing their own thing right now from what I understand and he’s home for a little while from the Air Force,” I explained, “So his main job at the moment is to get us our funding and annoy the snot out of me while doing it.” After earning some giggles from Sophia and Max at the expression, Glen announced that they were going to go and grab lunch for everybody. My mom took my hand once it was just the two of us and I settled into my seat, “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hanging in there,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “Tired, stressed, I smell like fish most of the time…We need this loan or else we’re going to have to sell the boat. You should’ve seen Sam’s face when Sarah told him…”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that boat means to you kids. I could’ve offered you the moon and stars and it still wouldn’t have been enough to get you off it.” I smiled at the memories of summer nights spent laying on the deck stargazing, dance parties on the stern and early mornings spent with Mr. Wilson teaching us how to fish. A childhood with so much sadness had also contained so many joys. To part with a tangible one killed me more than I’d let on to Sam.

Sensing that the topic was making me emotional, my mother was kind enough to change it. “How are things otherwise? Have you been getting out there?” I dropped my head back dramatically and groaned, “Mom…” “I’m just saying,” she dropped my hand and held up hers in surrender, “You should get out there, meet someone. There’s no shame in trying those online dating services. What’s the one…the…Tinder?” “Oh my gosh, Mom,” I buried my face in my hands and moved my fingers so she could only see my eyes, “Please stop talking.” “You know who I ran into the other day? Jack’s mom, from high school. She lives just down the next hallway, she says that he’s still single. You could get in touch with him.” “Y’know, for a woman who advocated for her daughters to lead such independent lives, you’re sure quick to try and marry us off,” I chuckled, “The second Mel started dating Glen you were practically booking the church.” “And I’m very proud of both my girls for being such strong young women,” she smiled proudly, “But finding love doesn’t mean losing your independence so long as you’re with the right man. I love that you’ve been helping out Sarah these last few years but honey…I see how lonely you are. In those big y/e/c eyes you think I still can’t read after all these years.” The y/e/c eyes in question started to fill with sadness at hearing my pain verbalized. It was true, I was lonely. More so than I would ever let on to anybody. I was a shy enough kid who only withdrew further after Dad passed away, that kind of introversion wasn’t one that you outgrew. But I’d given up the idea of finding someone to spend my life with a long time ago for a bevy of reasons.

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone, Mama,” I nodded as if to force myself to agree with my statement, “No chances of getting hurt…or hurting somebody.” “You couldn’t hurt somebody even if you tried,” my mom argued sweetly, “You couldn’t even kill spiders when you were a kid.” “And now there’s a Spiderman out there so I’m glad I didn’t,” I shot back with a laugh.

“I’m serious, honey,” she took my hand once again, “Don’t let your heart’s wounds keep you from finding someone who could help soothe them.” 

I was convinced my mother was both a poet and a therapist at some point in her life, she gave advice in the most beautifully phrased way. And while I’d loved to have taken her words to heart, tell Mel to fix me up with one of Glen’s friends and put an end to my loneliness, I feared that I was just too broken to give love to someone.

————

I arrived back home late, shedding my boots and bag at the doors. I’d expected to hear a triumphant chorus of Sam shouting ‘WHO DA MAN?’ as he typically would when heroically proving me and Sarah wrong, but there was only silence. When I walked into the kitchen and saw their glum faces, it wasn’t hard to guess the outcome of the meeting. “You’re kidding me…” “Said that things had tightened up,” Sam said, leaning against one side of the island and taking a swig of his beer, “Had the balls to ask me for a picture afterwards.” I groaned and grabbed the beer bottle Sarah had extended to me, “Okay, we’re out of options. It’s time to move forward-“ “Don’t say it…” Sam tiredly warned.

“Someone has to, Sam. We can’t keep searching for solutions when the right one is sitting out on our dock,” I gestured to the window that looked out on the road we took each day to work.

Sarah set her beer down and held her hands up in surrender, “I’m not having this argument again tonight, I’m going to bed. If you’re gonna kill each other, do it quietly.” She left as me and Sam silently stared each other down, waiting for the other to speak. I was too frustrated to play the game, “What’s this really about?” “It’s about the damn boat and that you and Sarah are throwing in the towel too-“ “What,” I elongated the single syllable word, “Is this really about?” Sam set his drink down and rubbed his hands over his head before looking back up at me helplessly, “You guys were on your own for five years and you’ve done an amazing job. But now nothing’s working and I just…I just want to help because I couldn’t for so long.” It all clicked as to why Sam was being so insistent on trying to eliminate the whole matter. He was used to saving the day and finally meeting one that he couldn’t save was a wall he thought he could still find a way to run through. He’d been like that ever since we were kids, always trying to help the people he loved even when it was impossible. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever met.

“I love you,” I set down my bottle and crossed the island to come next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, “But this may be one problem that the Falcon can’t swoop in and fix. The Avengers work hard, but a business graduate helping to run a struggling seafood business works harder,” I succeeded in getting him to crack a smile, “Believe me, I’ve run all the numbers and consulted with anyone who would listen. The boat’s gotta go.”

“Yeah, well, humor me and give me a little while longer.”

“Fine, a couple more days,” I grabbed my beer once again and clinked it against his, “But it’s not my fault if Sarah smacks you again.” Sam laughed, slung an arm around my neck and kissed my temple. “You coming up soon?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up in a few minutes,” I answered, watching as he finished his drink before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs. Once I’d heard his bedroom door open and close, I exited out to the back porch. I took in the late night sounds of the bayou, the crickets chirping and the wind rustling trees had always soothed me. I wished they could touch what I was feeling right now, but the noise didn’t do a thing to drown out my worry. For the business I feared we may lose, for Sam as he ran himself ragged trying to help and for myself and what him and Sarah would think of me once I confessed the secret I’d kept from them for so long.

I held out my hand and watched as the blue energy flowed from my fingertips. Would Sam ever forgive me for not telling him I had powers? They had manifested when I was young, my parents said. I couldn’t remember a day where my body hadn’t produced a magical energy that when harnessed incorrectly could be destructive. It had been a sad day for my mother’s garden when I’d discovered that bit…According to her, she’d wanted to take me to a school for people like me run by a man named Charles Xavier but my father had said no immediately. He’d been so insistent on keeping my powers a secret that my mother said she’d only seen that type of fear in his eyes when he had a war flashback. So I was instructed to never show my powers to anyone under any circumstances and I’d done just that. I’d thought about revealing them in 2012 after the Battle of New York, but my dad’s fear rang in my ears. Three years later when Sam became an Avenger was when I began to feel guilty that I was keeping a secret from him. I’d wanted to join him and find somewhere where I didn’t feel so out of place, but I’d decided against it again. Now with their team so broken and Sam off with the Air Force, I’d finally gathered the courage to confide in him and Sarah. I should have done it six months ago, but I’d chickened out too many times. Tomorrow, I decided. Tomorrow was the day. But would they still see me the same way once I showed them? ————

The next morning, after dressing and running over what I wanted to say three times, I hesitantly headed downstairs to face the music. With there being nobody in the kitchen, I followed the sounds of the television to find Sarah and Sam staring at the screen intently. I stood to the side of the room and watched a suited man give a speech out front of a government building. “We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.”

My jaw slackened as a man marched out in front of the gathered press, dressed in a variation of Steve Rogers’ patriotic uniform and carrying the iconic shield. The shield that had only weeks ago sat upstairs in Sam’s bedroom in a case. I dragged my gaze away from the screen to look at my best friend, hunched over in his seat with his eyes shut in sorrow. Sarah looked just as distraught, her eyes trained on her brother as well. We waited in silence until the breaking news broadcast switch back to regularly scheduled programming before Sarah switched the box off.

“I thought you said it was going to stay in the museum,” I finally spoke, my voice choked with emotion.

“It was supposed to,” Sam ground out, his grip on his own hands tightening. Without any warning, he rose from his seat and left the room. My instinct was to follow him and try to comfort him, but there was nothing I could say to ease the deep pain he was feeling. I wasn’t even sure I could form words that weren’t doused in raw shock. The two things I was sure of were that a) the government had fucked up royally and b) now was definitely not the time to tell Sam about my powers.

————

It was a few days later and Sam still hadn’t spoken much to Sarah and I about the situation. It was unnatural for Sam to suffer in silence especially around us, but we both gave him the space he needed. 

I was taking laundry to AJ and Cass’ room and had to pass by Sam’s, surprised to see him packing a bag. “Thought you were sticking around.” “Something big came up,” he replied as he set a stack of t-shirts in his duffle bag, “I need to go check it out.” I leaned against his doorway, “Air Force big or Avengers big?” “The second one.” “And you’re going by yourself?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

Sam looked over his shoulder at me finally, “Don’t have anybody to else to call. Besides, I can handle myself.” I hummed in response before setting down the stack of laundry, an idea forming in my head that could solve both of our problems. I folded my hands together and dug my feet into the carpet, “What if you didn’t have to go by yourself?” He looked confused, “What are you talking about?” My folded hands began to make circles in the air as I struggled for the right words, “What if I came with you?” “What, like take your family to work day something?” Sam scoffed, “That’d be fun.” “I’m serious.” “Are you crazy? Of course you can’t come.” “Hear me out,” I looked to his bag and the pair of jeans he had next to fold, “Actually watch.” He folded his arms and waited for my demonstration. I took a deep breath and extended my hand, forcing my energy outwards to levitate the jeans. “Whoa!” Sam exclaimed as he watched me maneuver the clothing inside his duffle, “W-w-what…What was that?” I shrugged and pulled my hand back to my side, “The reason why you should take me.”

“How long have you been able to do that?” “Since I was a kid,” I moved out of the doorway and closed the door, the last thing I needed was AJ and Cass knowing their aunt could move things with her mind, “My parents told me never to tell anybody. I’ve thought about telling you for years since you’re used to this kind of thing but I was scared…Then you were gone and when you came back, life was moving non-stop and I lost my courage. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Sam stood with his jaw hung for a few seconds before shaking his head back into reality, “Why are you apologizing? You never had to tell me, but I’m glad you did,” he pointed a finger towards me, “But you’re still not going.” “What are you talking about? I’d be an asset to whatever it is you’re fighting! And I love you but c’mon bird boy, you may be able to fly but I can do it without any tech.” “Oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” Sam gestured between the two of us, “You think insulting me is the way to get me to let you come?” “Come on,” I moved to sit on his bed, “Tell me what the problem is and I’ll prove that I can help.” “Alright, alright,” Sam took a stance in front of me, “You wanted to hear the tea on my missions, I’ll spill it. There’s an online group called the Flag Smashers, their MO is to get the world back to the way it was during the last five years. My military contact, Torres, went undercover in Switzerland when they robbed a bank. Knocked him unconscious when he tried to fight back.” I balanced my elbows on my knees and tapped a finger against my lip, “So kind of a Robin Hood deal, right? Stealing things from the rich and giving it to the poor. In this case, the poor being those who never disappeared.” “Exactly, except the guy that knocked Torres out was strong. Too strong. I’m thinking they could be a part of-“ “The big three.” Sam’s neck snapped back, “How do you know about the big three?” I shrugged nonchalantly, “The little you do tell me about your avenging always ties back to either androids, aliens or wizards. Though I think you’re being a little dramatic with the term ‘wizard.’”

“Are you seriously gonna correct the guy who’s actually there doing the fighting?” “Are you seriously gonna deny yourself valuable help against either an alien or an android?”

Sam sighed, I was successfully backing him into a corner. “Can you even fight?”

Extending one hand, I levitated Sam and gently slammed his back into the ceiling before reversing course and lowering him onto the carpet. He moaned as he rolled over to face me, “Could’ve given me a concussion.” “Maybe that would knock some sense into your head,” I stood and gave him my hand to pull him up, “Sam, I know that I don’t have any experience but I am more than capable of defending myself. I want to actually do something with these powers instead of sitting on my ass. I’d rather do it with you than on my own. Please?” I watched the cogs in his mind turn through his eyes, I knew he was only fighting this hard because he wanted to keep me safe. But he was in way over his head if he thought it wasn’t worth taking me with. He accepted my hand and stood to his full height, “Pack a bag, we’re leaving for the air base in an hour.” I smiled and threw my arms around him, “Thank you, you won’t regret this.” “I’d better not,” he warned, his arms stayed straightened in displeasure of my enthusiasm, “If you take some stupid risk and put yourself in jeopardy, I’m putting your ass on a plane home.” Quick footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway until the door opened to reveal Sarah, “What was all that noise? It sounded like you were throwing each other into walls.” “Busy,” I quickly dismissed her, using my energy to shut the door in Sarah’s face from a distance.

“Um,” her muffled voice rang through, “What the hell was that?!”

--------

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resonate : b.b

in a world after the blip, like many you find yourself in therapy. yet, you run into someone you never anticipated meeting. (4k - it’s long, i couldn’t stop but i hope you like it!!)

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

requested: yes! by the lovely @interestedcas​ - thank you sm for the request angel :) (i’ve changed one or two details around, but i hope that’s okay!) warnings: mentions of depression, murder, being in therapy, angst but fluffy ending 

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

It doesn’t matter how many times you visit, you still despise going to her office. The routine never changes; you walk into the lobby and sign in, scribbling an attempted signature before entering the elevator.

Four floors up, you exit and simply wait on the sunken grey sofa. The magazines are out of date- from before everything happened. No one ever talks to one another, too lost in their own thoughts whilst your head remains too empty.

And then something changes. You can hear her door opening and a heavy sigh from someone exiting. “James,” She calls after the person emerging from her office who keeps his head low.

You can’t help but watch the spectacle before you, clad in leather and dark jeans, his face shielded from your view as he passes you by.

Doctor Raynor stands in the waiting room with her hands on her hips, notepad in hand as she mutters something under her breath.

“Hey, Doc.” You wave, breaking her deep thought as she looks over to you with that set frown across her lips.

“Y/n,” Doctor Raynor walks toward you, lowering her notebook into her pocket. “sorry for the wait, come on through.”

Rising to your feet, you follow behind her as you walk through the bleak corridors lined with framed photos of brighter scenes; couples on a beach during sunset, animals on a farm and your personal favourite- fireworks in New York City.

“So,” Closing the door, Raynor takes her seat opposite you, observing you as you lean back on the large couch. “how are you doing this week, Y/n?”

“Fine, I guess.” Shrugging your shoulders is an automatic response to those words. Yet, it’s never enough to keep Raynor happy as she opens her notebook. “You really have something to write already, after one sentence?” You remark, tutting under your breath as you look around the room whilst she scribbles on her pages.

“You know the whole purpose of coming here is to talk.” She comments, now looking up at you. “Let’s try again, shall we? How are you doing this week?”

Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you stare blankly back at her. “Why’d your last patient storm out like that?” Avoiding her question, you can see her jaw clenching as she leans back in the armchair. “Guess someone else was having a bad day, huh?” You chuckle dryly, and to your surprise, she nods along.

“Everyone has bad days,” She remarks. “some worse than others.”

“Tell me ‘bout it.” You respond, bringing your legs up as you sit cross-legged and hug the nearest cushion into your lap. “I, I had another nightmare,” You admit, trying to ignore the sound of her pen against paper. “it wasn’t as graphic, or, violent.”

“What happened this time?” Doctor Raynor asks, averting her attention from her notebook as you bite your lower lip, unaware of how hard you’re biting down until you feel blood against your tongue. “Y/n?” Snapping her fingers, you emerge from your thoughts and wipe your lip, ignoring the crimson on your fingertips.

“I just saw them, lying there whilst the building was burning.” You try to ignore the sound of cries, distant sirens and pleas for help in the back of your mind. “But there wasn’t any blood, they were just lying there like they were fine, just, sleeping.”

“And why do you think that is?” Raynor taps her pen repetitively.

“Is there a reason? Some sort of coping mechanism or mental response?” You ask, turning it back on her as she purses her lips, contemplating her response.

“It can be perceived as you purifying them,” She suggests. “trying to see them as innocent.”

“But they weren’t.” You quickly comment. “No one was during that time.”

“What about yourself?” Raynor questions and you scoff loudly.

“Course I wasn’t innocent during that, I mean,” You motion to the room you’re currently in. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You laugh, feeling your nails digging into the cushion on your lap.

“Listen, Y/n, you have to break through this. Have you tried writing down about these nightmares after they happen?” You nod and Doctor Raynor shuffles in her seat, now resting her arms against her legs. “How about you get some fresh air? Have you tried contacting anyone you lost touch with since the blip?”

“They don’t know who I am anymore.” You mutter.

“Get a grip, Y/n. You’re not the lead in a rom-com.” Raynor sighs.

“You’re kinda mean, you know that, right?” You snap back, and she simply holds her hands up in defence. “I’ll try again this week, maybe I’ll meet a nice guy at a coffee shop.” The sarcasm rolls off your tongue as you stand up. “This was fun, Doc,” You flash a smile, ignoring the abrupt closing of her notebook.

“Y/n,” Doctor Raynor drags your name out as you reach the door.

“Can’t wait for next week!” You wave slowly whilst your back faces the door, unaware of the strong wall you collide against. “Oof.” A noise escapes your lips as you quickly turn around.

Forcing your gaze upwards, you recognise the unapologetic stoic expression from anywhere. He was listed amongst those lost in the blip, one of the fallen Avengers.

Yet, standing before you he seems softer. His eyes remain locked on you despite Doctor Raynor nearing you both.

“James, decided to try our session again?” Doctor Raynor comments, and you break your focus from the former soldier.

“I’ll see you next week, Doc.” Your tone softens as you slip past Bucky and quickly walk down the corridor, unaware of his eyes following you, wishing he at least introduced himself.

“You can try again next week, James. She'll be back.” Doctor Raynor pulls the door further open, and with his head hanging low, Bucky nods to himself before taking up your seat.

*

Screaming yourself awake, you heave a breath as you clutch your chest, trying to focus on controlling your heart rate.

Tears stream down your cheeks uncontrollably. “Y/n?” Your roommate calls out, knocking lightly on your door. “Can I come in?” She asks quietly, peering through the door to see you sat upright with one hand covering your mouth whilst the other grips the bedsheets. “Oh, babe.” She hums, walking over and sits beside you.

The two of you sit in silence for a while, allowing you time to process what just happened, the sight of their body beneath your feet, your hands coated in crimson as the flames roared through the windows, shattering in an instant. “Why is it we can never remember dreams, but we always remember our nightmares?” You think aloud into the darkness, glancing over to see it was only 1 in the morning.

“I, I don’t know.” She mutters. “Can I get you anything?”

Shaking your head, your roommate rises to her feet. “I think I’m going to get some fresh air.” You state, tearing the covers from your body as you grab your jacket, slipping it on over your pyjamas.

“Y/n, I love you but it’s 1am. It’s not exactly safe to go out.” She crosses her arms over her chest, ignoring you shrugging your shoulders in response. “At least let me come with you.”

“It’s fine, really.” You object, walking towards the front door knowing you've experienced a lot worse during the blip whilst she was absent, one of the missing. “I’ve got my phone, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Before she can say anything else, you walk out and close the door quietly behind you, craving solitude from the one place you’ll know you can get it.

Feeling the cool chill of Autumn creeping in, you tug your jacket further across your chest and bury your hands into the deep pockets. You fiddle with the remanents of tissue in the left pocket, picking it apart to suppress the memories of the nightmare that begin to plague your thoughts once more.

Your feet lead the way whilst your mind remains preoccupied, unaware of the dewy grass beneath your sneakers and the quiet conversations occurring across the park.

Sitting down, you can feel the coolness dampening your trousers, but you’re too lost to care; and seemingly too oblivious to notice the man approaching you with a deep-set frown.

“It’s not exactly wise to be out alone this late you know.” He tells you, standing a few feet away from you whilst your eyes remain locked on the trampled dandelion in front of your scuffed sneakers. “Is everything okay?”

You force yourself to nod. “Yeah, thanks.” You mutter, hearing him shuffle closer until he’s sat by your side, allowing a gap between you both as he sighs loudly. “Why’re you sitting with me? There’s an entire park for you to enjoy.” You remark, now glancing over to the stranger who notices you tense. “You’re,”

He simply nods. “Yeah.” Bucky lowers his head, knowing you’d recognise him for that reason, of course, that’s all he’s known for.

“You’re the guy from Raynor's office, right?” You finish, and Bucky lifts his head up, a genuine small smile crossing his lips as he nods.

“Yeah.” His voice is softer now, his heart rising in his chest. “I’m James.” He holds his gloved hand out, and you accept it.

“Y/n.” You shake it before hiding your hand once more into your pocket. “So, what’s wrong with you then?” You chuckle dryly. “Traumatic childhood? Oh, how about PTSD?”

Bucky shakes his head. “Something like that.” He remarks, looking up at the stars pinpricked in the sky. “So why’re you out here then?”

“I could ask you the same,” You retort, glancing over to focus on him, having only briefly noticed him the other day at the bleak office. Yet here, he seems calm, his expression is relaxed as opposed to stoic, you could even say he seems happy at a stretch. “but I won’t, ‘cause I’m not Raynor.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Bucky jokes with ease as he hears you laugh quietly. “The pyjamas really add to it I’ll admit.” He glances down, quickly noticing you rolling your eyes, but there’s only humour lining your expression, no sign of disgust.

“I, I couldn’t sleep.” You speak up, bringing your legs to your chest as you wrap your arms around them, keeping them in place. “Nightmares, you know?”

Nodding knowingly, Bucky turns his attention to the homeless man curled up on the bench, a knife catching his gaze.

“Do you wanna go for a walk? I know from experience that usually helps me clear my head.” Bucky suggests, rising to his feet as he holds his gloved hand out for you.

“And why would I do such a thing? I barely know you, James.” You remind him, looking up at his hand before lifting your eyes up to meet his.

“True,” He hums, secretly relieved that you don’t know him. “at least let me walk you home?”

Hearing the homeless man beginning to stir and muttering nonsense, you sigh before taking Bucky’s hand as he pulls you up with ease. You almost fall into his chest, but you force your hand out to rest on his shoulder to stop yourself.

“Sorry,” You mutter, focusing on how your shoes are almost touching his.

Breathing out a laugh in your hair, Bucky shrugs his shoulder. “No worries, doll.” It slips out too easily, but you don’t seem to notice as you walk alongside Bucky.

The two of you walk through the streets in comfortable silence. For once, you don’t feel obliged to talk through the short walk, that you have to somehow convince him that you’re feeling fine; because he knows how it feels.

You can mentally list over one hundred questions you could potentially ask him about his past, about the 40′s and who he once was. But you know it isn’t fair to delve into someone else’s memories, invade into something he might not fully remember. So tonight, he remains as James from Doctor Raynor's office, and you’re content with just that.

“Well, this is me.” You motion to the front door of the small apartment building, noticing your lamp is still on in your room. “Thanks again for walking me back, James.”

“Anytime.” Bucky smiles. “I guess I’ll erm,” He stumbles over his words, internally screaming at himself to just ask for your number or to take you out for coffee sometime. “I’ll see you around.” He nods, unable to form the words he wishes he could say. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You smile before opening the front door, disappearing out of sight as Bucky turns on his heels, about to force himself to ask for your number.

“Next time, Buck.” He mutters to himself, knowing Raynor will give him shit for not trying hard enough when he next visits her.

*

“-stupid fucking elevator!” You groan loudly as the doors finally open and you stumble out, oblivious to Bucky exiting Raynor's office and standing in the waiting room, hearing you coming his way.

Looking around, Bucky shuffles the outdated magazines and takes a seat. He tugs on his trousers and his jacket, wishing he wore something different this morning if he knew you’d be coming today.

As you turn the corner, the anxieties slowly ease when Bucky smiles your way. “Morning.” Bucky waves, trying to hide how fast his heart is beating in his chest as you walk toward him apprehensively.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” You state, looking at the options before you as the waiting room remains empty beside the two of you.

Yet, before you can fully run through your options on where would be best to sit, Bucky moves along on the grey sofa, allowing you room to sit beside him.

“I just, er, finished.” He mutters, unsure where to focus.

“And you decided to hang out at the happiest place on Earth for the sake of it?” You raise a brow to him.

“I was leaving, but then I heard you.” Bucky mentally applauds himself, knowing Sam would be proud once he tells him. “Not to sound creepy or anything,” He quickly adds, but you’re laughing to yourself, shaking your head happily.

“Not creepy at all, James.” You assure him, giving him a playful nudge of his arm. “So, solve any deep routed trauma today?” You joke with ease, something Bucky is secretly thankful for.

Usually, in the waiting room, there’s a man in his fifties who shakes with nerves. He’s never met Bucky’s gaze once, refuses to.

“Gettin’ there.” Bucky tells you, now turning his body toward yours as he rests his arm over the couch. “Listen, Y/n,” He starts, only to be cut off by the sound of the door opening and Doctor Raynor presenting herself.

“James? You’re still here?” The Doctor questions, clearly surprised until her eyes pan over to see you sat beside him. “Hi Y/n, come on through.” She motions and you stand up.

“Wish me luck.” You wink to Bucky, oblivious to the near heart palpitations you cause as the door closes behind you.

Averting his attention to the dusty clock, Bucky contemplates his next move. He could leave now, and simply hope he’ll see you again next time he visits. Or, he could wait for you. You could only be an hour at the most, and it isn’t Wednesday so Yori isn’t anticipating a lunch trip either.

So, Bucky leant back on the sofa, closing his eyes to stop himself from homing in on the conversation on the other side of that door.

“Well, I’ve got to say, you seem happier today.” Raynor remarks.

“I guess I am.” You honestly answer, not forcing your self-defence shield up before your eyes for the first time in a while. “I, I’ve not had a nightmare in three days.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

You breathe out a sigh. “Relieved? But I don’t know like I’ve gotten so used to reliving it, and everything that happened and now not seeing it feels,” You pause as you grab a hold of the cushion beside you. “alien.”

“That’s perfectly normal, Y/n.” Raynor assures you. “Simple things such as distractions can often cause nightmares to diminish, or perhaps new people in your lives who cause a positive influence.” She trails off, turning her head toward the closed door; motioning to the man sat in the waiting room.

“James?” You scoff lightly, trying to brush it off. However, Doctor Raynor notices you shift as you pick up the cushion, relaxing it on your lap. “No, he’s, I barely know him.” You tell her, hearing her hum in response.

“Do you know about him, though?” Raynor questions, watching as you nod slowly.

“Of course I do,” You say sadly. “I remember the news broadcasts and when the blip happened, him being among those lost.” You explain, fiddling with the hem of the cushion as a distraction.

Outside the room, Bucky can feel his heart sink. You know who he is, and what he’s done. How could he think someone like you could trust him, get to know him after his past?

“He’s changing though,” The words leave your lips quickly, and Bucky tilts his head up toward the door once more. “I, I don’t know how to explain it, but he seems like a good guy.”

Scribbling in her notepad, Doctor Raynor nods along. “I can’t comment due to patient confidentiality, Y/n.” She shrugs, looking past you and up toward the small camera hidden in the ceiling light. “But, I will say he’s mentioned you.”

A gentle laugh leaves your lips as you raise a brow. “So much for confidentiality there, Doc.” Pausing, you think back to the other night when he found you in the park and walked you home. He didn’t say much, but then again he didn’t need to. His company alone was warm, and it was since that night your nightmares stopped.

“What’re you thinking, Y/n?” Raynor tilts her head, trying to gauge your current thought process.

Glancing up, you stare blankly back at her. “What if my nightmares come back?” You sadly ask. “What if them stopping was just a temporary fix? I, I don’t want to see it anymore, I don’t want to wake up thinking my hands are coated in their blood.” Tears build up in your eyes for the first time in days, threatening to spill over like your misconstrued thoughts.

“Have you practised any of your coping methods since I last saw you?”

You pause, looking up as tears fall from your eyes. “Yeah,” You breathe out. “I went to the park, the one down the street.” You slowly explain, your ears perking up at the familiar sound of her pen against paper. “And, and James was there.”

“So, since that night, you haven’t?” Doctor Raynor trails off at the motion of your head shaking. “Alright,” She closes her notebook over and places it on the floor beside her. “Y/n, I want you to go out there, talk to James and ask him out or something.”

“I, I can’t do that.” Tensing up, you tighten your grip on the cushion that previously remained relaxed against your lap. “That’s just dumb.” You defend yourself, ignoring your heart that’s been thinking about the man since that night.

“Dumb or not, it’s worth a try.” Raynor leans back, crossing her arms having listened to an identical conversation with Bucky just over an hour before.

“Is that it then?” You ask.

“Until you have something else to tell me,” Doctor Raynor rises to her feet as she approaches the door whilst you remain seated, apprehensive to face James whenever you’ll next see him.

“Am I just meant to find him somehow?” You quietly ask in the Doctors direction, hearing the door creep open.

Unaware of the small smile crossing her lips, she glances back at you. “I’m sure you will, Y/n.” She comments, returning to her seat whilst you head to the door, slipping out without any further discussion.

Yet, as you glance up, you freeze.

“James?” Utterly perplexed, Bucky half-heartedly waves to you. “I, why’re you still here?” You step forward, only to witness Bucky stepping backwards.

“You know who I am?” Sadness drips from his words as he struggles to meet your gaze.

“James,” You speak up, but Bucky shakes his head before he brushes past you, heading toward the elevator.

Remaining glued to the spot you’re standing in, you simply watch the elevator doors open as Bucky slips inside.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Doctor Raynor sighs loudly, standing in the doorway. “Go!” Watching you walk away, a smile ghosts her lips as she reflects on the pair of you, both lost souls so close to finding a home.

Without needing to be told twice, your feet suddenly move with ease. You’re running through the bleak corridors, seeing blurs of colour crossing your peripheral vision as you reach the stairwell.

“Stupid.” Bucky mutters to himself. How could he have gotten his hopes up?

Exiting the building, Bucky takes the left turn and walks down the street, burying his gloved hands in his pockets.

“James!” You yell, puffing heavily as you slam the office doors open, looking around for any sign of him.

Upon hearing you call his name, Bucky pauses and dares to look over his shoulder to see you wiping your face. “Fuck.” You mutter, burying your face in your hands, only flinching and moving when a hand rests on your shoulder.

Looking up, those sweet blue eyes home in on yours. “Wanna go to the park?” Bucky calmly suggests, relieved when you nod and walk alongside him in silence, the only sound between you both being you sniffing and the hammering of his heart against his chest.

As the pair of you reach the large metal gate, Bucky allows you to walk ahead whilst he holds it open. Usually, you might have a joke or suave comment to make, but today you mutter a thank you before he returns to your side.

“James,”

“Y/n,”

You both pause, interrupting one another as you stop in the middle of the pathway, ignoring the laughter of children around you playing happily.

“I’m sorry,” You start the conversation whilst he remains quiet by your side. “I didn’t want to say anything or bring it up as I know what it’s like to be known by your past actions.” Furrowing your brows, you try to ignore the child screaming and crying ahead of you, watching their Mother pick them up and cradle them close in her arms.

Bucky follows your line of vision, seeing the Mother sway side to side as her child’s cries begin to subside.

“I just wanted to get to know you.” Whispering the sentence you can’t help but close your eyes as it simply hangs in front of him, unsure whether to accept or decline. “And if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I’ll just walk back that way and, and you can go that way.” Opening your eyes, you point in two differing directions.

And to your surprise, Bucky breathes out a laugh at your crossed arms. “I, I’d like to get to know you too, Y/n.” He smiles, mentally repeating everything he’s talked about with Doctor Raynor. “I’m no longer the Winter Soldier, my name is James Barnes.” He mutters to himself, aware of your eyes on him as you kick some stones beneath your feet, scuffing the white of your sneakers.

“I’m not a killer anymore. I’m not a monster, nor an agent.” You breathe out, listening to Bucky shifting beside you. “I’m just me,” Looking up, you shyly smile at him as he mirrors your reaction. “just Y/n.”

Holding his hand out, you notice his glove is gone. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/n.”

With brief hesitancy, you accept his hand, revelling in the warmth as it weaves through your skin, causing goosebumps to ignite. “It’s lovely to meet you too, James.”

Lowering your hand, you don’t notice that it still remains in his as you both walk through the park. There’s a lot to be uncovered from you both, but maybe, just maybe doing it together won’t be so bad.

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[skz317cb97]

A friend of mine asked me to write an article for his mental health blog talking about depression and anxiety. Figured I'd share it here with you all as well. Trigger warning! There is lots of talk about, childhood trauma, addiction, drug use, self-harm, and similar topics. If that can be upsetting or triggering for you, please skip reading this.

Was the anxiety and depression always there in me from the beginning? Was it something that I was born with and grew with in me like my organs and the rest of the parts of my body? Or was it planted and grown from the people in my life, my environment, like a seed, fertilized and watered? The things I was subjected to at a young age, growing up faster than any child should have to. There isn’t a time I can remember that there wasn’t fear pricking at my brain, making my heart race and my stomach turn. Would that have always been the case or was it just my experience? Do I fear these things because of the experience or is the way I reacted to the experience because of something already inside me?  

I was very young, kindergarten maybe, the wife of my dad’s friend coming to our house frantic because someone was looking in their windows at her. Over twenty-five plus years later and I check to make sure my curtains are closed every night. Second grade, I was hit by a car. Afterwards if you even suggested crossing a street I was panicking, I STILL look down an empty street both ways before crossing with a racing heart. I distinctly recall vomiting in a man’s driveway after I had been told I may have to cross a highway that we had broken down on. I had a volatile family on both sides. If adults were arguing or voices started getting raised, I was puking. Growing up in the mid-west, tornado warning, tornado watch, severe thunderstorm warning? I was puking and hiding in the bathroom. I had never even been in a tornado. A man my dad had ripped off, outside of my family’s house, screaming he was going to burn it down and me quietly crying in my room in the dark scared I’m going to die in a fire that night. I’m told I’m supposed to be asleep while the man yells outside. So again, I ask do I fear these things because of the experience or is the way I react to the experience because of something already lying dormant inside me? 

I’m supposed to be sleeping. I’m supposed to be sleeping because I have to go to school the next day, and I did go. Through all of these things I had go to school, take tests, do homework, participate in life like everything was normal. I had to rise above and find a way through on my own. In elementary school. I wasn’t going to get help learning to cope from my teachers or the school, they had no idea what was going on in my life. I certainly wasn’t going to get it from my family. My parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. My grandparents, my father’s parents that is, did what they could but that was mainly keeping us fed and a roof over our heads when my parents failed to do so. They were very ‘old school’ so anxiety, depression, mental health in genral wasn’t a topic of conversation. It wasn’t even a blip on the screen. We mainly only saw my mom’s parents for holidays. They seemed to want to keep their distance, not that I could blame them. Living with drug addiction is difficult and if you can just stay away from it why wouldn’t you?  

I couldn’t of course. It was thrust upon me against my will and there was no way out of my real life. So, I turned inside. My imagination. I would dream up elaborate stories of people whose lives were nothing like mine or I’d make up people who were just like me, who dealt with the same obstacles I had in my way and overcame them. Looking back now I remember a great deal of the trauma and the fear it evokes even to this day, but I remember the stories more. Then I got older, became a teenager and went through the feelings of inadequacy all teenagers feel, perhaps a bit more profound given my circumstances at home. By then my mother was not in my life leaving me with a dad who was still an addict, a drunk, and had a raging temper. My grandparents still tried their best, but they were older and could only do so much and my grandma was in and out of the hospital during that time. My imagination and dream world faded, and depression and anxiety hooked their nasty claws deep into me.  

At this point I had completely given up at school. I attended sometimes did homework none of the time. In my home drugs were not for mental health they were for recreation. So that’s what I did. I started sneaking my dad’s cigarettes and alcohol easily enough, then his weed, then his pills. He knew, he didn’t care unless I took drugs he had wanted to do. I was using all of these drugs to fill a void in me that felt like it would grow exponentially. They didn’t. The void was still there, worse even. By the time I was sixteen I was a high school dropout, bouncing from crappy job to crappy job, drinking, smoking, and doing drugs every day.  

I still didn’t know how to cope with what I was dealing with and so I started to self-harm. When my dad found out I was met with ridicule. An ‘Oh so you want to kill yourself?’ attitude. I didn‘t know how to explain why I did it. Oh, so you want to kill yourself? No but also yes. I didn’t want to kill myself, but I wished that I was dead, and I didn’t know how to deal with those emotions, that kind of pain. I was still a child really, even if I had the stress and worries of an adult with a job and bills, I was just a kid still. So, I would substitute the emotional pain with the physical and then the fact that I was hurting could make sense to me. But at sixteen/seventeen I wasn’t intellectually or emotionally equipped to express that.  

I floated through life like that for a long time not really caring because in my mind I didn’t see a future for myself. If you would have told twelve-year-old, sixteen-year-old, twenty-one-year-old, me that one day I'd be my age now, well I don’t know that they would have believed you. My depression was at the forefront during most of that time but my anxiety still lingered in other ways. Clinging to toxic and codependent relationships trying to validate my worth. Normal people had nightmares about axe wielding killers chasing them, my nightmares were waking up late for work and losing my job ensuring my homelessness. So, I would wake up and leave EXTRA early to be sure I was on time. I actually STILL do this. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I actually started to address my mental health. I had known I had depression that was painfully obvious but even then, if you had asked me if I had anxiety, I’d have told you no. Looking back now I don't know how I didn't see it. Perhaps I was looking at the picture too close at the time.

Since the beginning of this journey for me I’ve been on and off a few different behavioral medications and mood stabilizers. Most helped, even if just a little, some didn’t, and then for a long time I didn’t take any. I was happy with where I was in my life. After everything I’d been through as a child and young adult, I felt like I had managed to do what the characters in my stories from my childhood had done. I’d gotten out, gotten through. I had finished beauty school and had a career that I loved. I wasn't self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, I finally felt secure and on a path that there was a future for and I was content, happy even. I would love for that to be the end and be able to say happily ever after but if anyone reading this deals with depression and anxiety then you know there’s no cure all. There’s always a chance of relapse and it's more likely than not.  

I went through a lot of things over the course of a few years. My dad dying of an overdose, a breakup with a long-term partner, coming out, a move, then another move, LOTS of uncertainty that had me spiraling into my depression and anxiety and I knew I needed to do something immediately or it was going to get bad quickly. That’s when I started talking to a therapist and we started trying some different meds. I’m not going to lie and say it was great right off the bat. It takes time to warm up to talking to someone about your deepest secrets and fears and you have to cycle through meds to figure out what works for you. After two years I talk to my therapist (who I LOVE) every two weeks and my psychologist (who’s also a wonderful person) every month. I’m on a trio of medications for depression, anxiety, and adhd that seem to be working for me right now and I’ve taken to writing stories again. Although now, instead of trying to insert myself into my stories to escape my present life I write to let out the pain from my past. 

So, was this always with me, would I have always come out to be this person with these fears that linger into adulthood no matter the path? Maybe, maybe not, I’ll never really know. One thing I can be certain of is that it was part of who I was then, it is part of who I am now, and it always will be but that’s okay because it's not ALL that I am. So, bask in the high points, cherish them, make lots of memories during them because a low point will come again. It may be easier than the last, maybe harder but there’s always a way back up, back out. Never forget. Never give up. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Flying High, Falling Fast

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; fingering, oral, fucking, subtle creep factor, deceptive charm, the usual fare you know

This is dark!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You meet the new Captain America at an event and impress him with your homemade project, but his interest is more than friendly.

Note: We all need some dark!Sam, right? This is a pretty long one shot, just over 7k words but it was super fun to write a character I don’t get to a lot. But I hope you love him as much as me!

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You’d never been to a meet and greet before but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to meet up with Reese. The two of you met a year and a half ago on a Discord server for PC builds and eventually waded through the awkward blank cursors to real conversations. Little updates on new additions to your machines, memes about coding, and the occasional gaming session. He became a stalwart in your mostly solitary existence between work and your empty private life.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Reese but you felt safer meeting a stranger from the internet in a public setting. Plus, it was his suggestion. His roommate fell through on attending the event with him and you eagerly accepted the unclaimed ticket. Of course, Reese insisted it was his treat but you made him promise to let you pay for lunch.

Even more exciting, you were going to meet the new Captain America. THE CAPTAIN AMERICA. You wanted to squee but had to play it cool as you waited with Reese in the winding queue. 

As exclusive as the meet and greet was, it was stiflingly crowded, even more strenuous as you and Reese tried to adjust your rapport to a face-to-face environment. You mostly ended up chuckling and struggling for some cogent thought.

“What’s in the bag?” Reese asked, finally cracking through the stunted small talk.

“Oh, oh my god, I almost forgot,” you carefully lifted the bag and opened the top to let him peek inside, “I made this last year during lockdown. It’s silly but it was fun.”

He poked his finger around the opening of your drawstring knapsack and his brows rose in surprise. The drone had taken you most of your spare time but you hadn’t yet had a chance to do more than hover it around your bedroom. It was an exact replica, or exact as you could get, of the former Falcon’s Redwing.

“Holy shit! You never mentioned it,” he said.

“Oh, well, I guess… I never thought to. I just spent about an hour or so whenever I could, getting it together. Most of the time was spent on programming,” you closed your bag and let hit hang from your elbow, “and that’s another checkbox on the nerd list.”

“Please, look who you're talking to,” he joked with a snort.

You smiled at him sheepishly and looked ahead of the bodies in front of you as the line shifted forward. He wasn’t exactly disappointing, if anything, he was exactly what you expected. Skinny with black-framed glasses and a bright tee with the Captain’s shield emblazoned across his chest. He wasn’t bad-looking and thankfully not an incel.

“So, uh, you gonna give it to him or something?” Reese asked.

“What-- uh, no, I was hoping he’d sign it actually,” you chewed your lip anxiously, “if I don’t spaz out and just walk away.”

“Right,” he scoffed, “the last time I went to one of these I almost passed out.”

“Oh? Who was it?” you wondered aloud.

“Tony Stark. But I was still in high school,” he explained, “everything else sells out before I get to it. These I got by luck. If David hadn’t swiped them, we’d be standing outside wishing we were in here.”

“I can’t believe he passed on the ticket,” you uttered.

“I’m happy he did,” Reese said, “it made it easier to convince you to meet.”

“Well… we didn’t have to--”

“I’m teasing. Sorry. I’m not very… experienced at this,” he fidgeted.

“It’s fine,” you shrugged as you moved with the line, “I’m just nervous about meeting Captain America, you know? You’re not as intimidating… but I like that.”

“Uh, thanks,” he laughed as you got closer to the table and fidgeted with the straps of your bag. You were almost there.

You stepped up when the people ahead of you cleared away and you couldn’t help but stare at Bucky Barnes’ metal hand as he signed Reese’s special edition Blip magazine. He cleared his throat and you looked the Winter Soldier in the face. 

“Oh, sorry,” you slid the poster you got from the shop on the way in onto the table and he unrolled it and signed. You tried really hard not to focus on his hand, you were so curious as to how it all worked. “Thank you.”

He smiled through tight lips and said, “your welcome” before you sidled down to Sam Wilson as you rolled up your poster.

“Don’t worry about him,” Sam said, “he hates these things. I can’t take him anywhere.”

His laughter received a sharp look from the super soldier. Sam took Reese’s magazine and asked his name. You were too lost in thought to answer when he asked for yours. You coughed and sputtered as you tried to remember and Reese answered for you, adding that you were nervous.

“I, uh, oh,” you lifted your bag, “I was hoping, maybe, you might sign this instead,” you handed the poster to Reese and reached into your knapsack, “if you don’t mind?”

You carefully placed the drone on the table and his brows shot up in surprise. He lifted it just as you let it go and admired it as he leaned back, “you make this?”

“Yeah,” you answered shyly, “doesn’t have all the cool features like yours but it flies.”

“That’s awesome,” he put it back down and uncapped his marker, “where do you want me to sign?”

“Just on the top is fine,” you pointed, “thank you so much.”

“My pleasure,” he put his signature after spelling out your name and he grabbed the drone again, “hey, Buck, look at this? I don’t see any fancy arms that need signing.”

“Shut up,” Bucky grumbled and eyed the drone, “pretty cool, though.”

“Thanks, uh, well, we should get out of the way,” you said.

He handed you the drone and smiled. You began to shuffle away and he called you back to the table, “you code? Do a lot of programming?”

“Mostly just corporate sites,” you answered.

“Here,” he reached into his pocket, “send me a text. I think I know some people who’d like to meet you.”

“What?” you took the card rigidly.

“Sure, we’re always looking for techs,” he said, “and if we can’t find a spot for you, maybe you can see the real Redwing. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Wow, thank you, you… don’t have to do… that,” you stuttered.

“I’d be stupid not to,” he waved off your protests, “you go have fun, you two.”

You backed away and turned to walk away with Reese as you shoved your drone back in your bag with the card, numb with disbelief. 

“Wow, I can’t believe…” you trailed off as you mind wandered.

“Me either,” Reese said oddly, “that’s… wild.”

You looked at him and smiled. He didn’t look mad, only serious. You tightened the neck of the knapsack and slung it over your shoulders.

“So what are we doing for lunch?” you asked.

🌠

In the two weeks since you attended the meet and greet, you and Reese kept up mostly online, many arrangements interrupted by your real life responsibilities. It wasn’t until you offered for him to come with you to the SWORD labs that he had any free time for you. After a stressful text exchange with Captain America, you were too anxious to go alone and he was more than welcoming when you asked to bring a friend.

You stood on the subway as Reese sat and played his Switch. He was jittery as you kept your own nerves hidden just beneath the surface. You found it easier to stay standing as you felt as if you might combust if you sat.

“This is so awesome,” he said as he zipped his Switch up in its case, “thanks for inviting me.”

“I figured I owed you since you got the tickets for the meet and greet,” you said, “and it’s been a while.”

“Sorry about that, work’s been nuts,” he stood as you approached your stop and held onto the pole above your hand, “I kinda skipped out on half a day for this.”

“No,” you frowned, “you didn’t have to--”

“And miss a chance to see the real Redwing? Come on,” he scoffed.

“Oh,” you hung your head, “yeah, I guess that’s worth it.”

“I didn’t mean-- I’m happy to see you too, it’s just kinda a big deal,” he said as you approached the door with the few other passengers readying to hop off.

“No, I get it,” you hooked your thumbs under the straps of your knapsack as the doors slid open and you stepped out onto the platform, “I just… I couldn’t go alone. It’s so… scary.”

“Scary? Jeez, Captain America invited you to a job interview!”

“No, that’s not--”

“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what it is but I promise, I won’t get in the way,” he said as you head for the concrete stairs, “maybe if he needs an extra coder I might piggy back.”

“Uh huh,” you came up onto the New York sidewalk and came into view of the immense SWORD building, “well, I don’t think it’s all that.”

“So why’d you bring this?” he tapped your bag as you neared the large glass doors and men in suits with coiled wires at their ears squared their shoulders.

“He asked me to,” you said as you were approached by one of the big security guards.

“This isn’t public entry,” he said sternly, “no tours.”

“I have an appointment or… I’m expected,” you pulled out your phone and pulled up the electronic pass Sam sent you, “see?”

“Hmm,” he eyed it and took your phone without asking. Another guard came and scanned it with his phone, “checks out but we’re gonna called down Mr. Wilson and get confirmation.”

“Oh, okay,” you fidgeted as he made no move to return your phone. Reese seemed to shrink as the two men spoke into their headset and nodded at each other.

“Hey,” the glass door burst open as Sam appeared and strode towards you, “hey, sorry, these guys are such buzzkills,” he approached and patted one of the men on the shoulder, “they’re with me.” He assured and waved you after him.

“Um, my phone,” you said to the taller man with the buzzed head. He tilted his head wryly and held out your cell between two fingers. You took it and followed Sam to the doors.

“Anyway, we were just going over some basic maintenance today and I thought you might like to observe. See everything that goes into keeping me and my toys in the air,” he smiled as he held the door and nodded at Reese, “nice to see you again, man.”

“You too, Cap...tain,” Reese answered dumbly.

“Sam is fine,” he chuckled back and tailed the two of you across the lobby as he pointed you towards the elevators. He made Reese look even more like a stick bug. “You bring it?”

“Yeah, it’s in my bag,” you stopped yourself from popping your knuckles out of nervousness, “thank you so much for this. I usually work in cubicles so… uh, yeah… I don’t know what I mean.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous, you built that thing all by yourself? I’m sure you’ll fit right in,” he said.

You got off the elevator and had to hold in a gasp at the shining laboratories as the hi-tech equipment gleamed through the glass walls. Sam led you down the curved staircase onto the lab floors as techs and assistants in both lab coats and starched suits milled around the tables along the edge of the room.

“Hey, Greta,” he called out as he showed you to a metal table, “get a look at this.” A woman with twisted red hair approached as Sam tapped his fingers on the table, “show her,” he urged you.

You swung your bag around and took out the little red and silver drone. You placed it in the middle of the table and the woman, Greta, tilted her head curiously.

“You said you can make this thing fly, right?” Sam asked as Reese watched from the other side of the table.

“Um, yep,” you unlocked your phone and brought up the beta app you designed, “just…”

The drone rose slowly and steadied before you as it hovered over the metal. Greta lifted a dark brow and ran a nail along her chin thoughtfully, “cute.”

“Ah, come on, tell me that isn’t awesome? She did it all by herself,” Sam boasted, “so, what do you think? She’d be a great tech, huh?”

“Tech? I…” you blinked and giggled, that was absurd.

“Does she have a resume? A list of her credentials, at least,” Greta rebuffed.

“Greta,” Sam warned playfully, “I’m her credentials. I’m giving her a reference right now. Hire her.”

“What?” you mumbled under your breath and you saw Reese’s eye cling to Sam darkly, almost enviously.

“You know, if I hadn’t let that kid go for hi-jacking the alpha, I’d tell you to go back to breaking your toys,” she warned, “but I trust you and… I cannot say I’m not impressed,” she narrowed her sights at the floating drone, “how long did this take you?”

“A year or so,” you answered, “it was… just meant to be a hobby but--”

“Well, make it your life,” she said tersely, “Wilson, you deal with HR, Sheila likes you better.”

“Leave it all to me,” he grinned and she walked away.

“Here,” he turned back to you, “I’ll show you the operating system for the real deal.”

He ushered you and Reese over to a computer after you lowered your drone. The real Redwing sat on a module next to the screen and Sam punched the keys and took a hooked earpiece from a small stand, “put this on.”

You slipped the earpiece on as he revealed a bracelet and adjusted it on your wrist, a small ring looping up your index finger. 

“Bend your finger,” he said and you did it, “lift it up, back… like that.” Redwing rose and you watched in amazement, “tilt your head…” the drone aimed in the same direction as your head, “now back,” it flew higher, “just like that. You’re getting it.”

You steered the drone in a circle and Sam helped you maneuver it back down. He let you hand the controls over to Reese who had more fun with it and nearly took out one of the workers. He apologised and Sam just chuckled, though it didn’t sound so amused. 

When Redwing was back in its place, Sam took you all around the room to show you every gadget; his wings, his suit, all his little weapons, and even pulled up some Wakandan schematics of Bucky’s arm. Much of it wasn’t in English however and you could only decipher what was visually laid out. 

He left you there for a moment as he excused himself to chat with a tech about his wings. Reese huffed and leaned against the wall. You were quiet, mostly stunned, though your usual reticence could also be blamed. 

“I don’t think you should’ve brought me,” he said, “I told you it was a job interview.”

“I didn’t know, I thought you would enjoy it,” you felt awful as Reese had given up trying to hide his jealousy.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, “well, it is pretty cool but…”

He was interrupted as Sam returned, “sorry about that, guys, I kinda messed up one of the engines on the wings on my last mission.”

You smiled and said it was fine. You hadn’t expected so much attention and thought it would be a brief little show and tell, not an entire tour. You returned to the table where you left your drone and shut down the app. You packed up your Redwing, it felt lighter but you were sure you were just imagining things as your head spun. You looked down at the bold signature across the shell and knotted the drawstring above its nose.

“Sorry, I…” you took your bag from the table, “I hate to bother but is there a bathroom I can use.”

“Oh yeah, just head back up the stairs, left of the elevators,” Sam pointed above, “we’ll wait here, there’s one last thing I wanna show you.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” you headed for the stairs and latched onto the railing before you could trip upwards.

You bumbled up the stairs and after a brief moment of blankness, you found your way to the bathroom. You quickly slipped into the stall and spent a minute at the mirror after washing your hands to get your head straight. It felt like a dream, or worse, a joke.

You headed back out and Sam was waiting just by the elevators to your surprise. You pursed your lips and glanced around, “where’s Reese?”

“Oh, yeah, uh, he left,” he said as he shoved his hand in his pocket, “said he wasn’t feeling it.”

“Really?” you shrunk, just a little, “erm… that’s too bad.”

“Yeah, kinda weird, I don’t think I’ve ever just ditched a girlfriend in the middle of the city,” he said.

“Girlfriend? Well… it’s… it’s early,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I hope he’s okay.”

“Damn, I hope he didn’t ruin it, I still wanted to show you the shield,” he intoned, “but if you’re not feeling up to it--”

“No, no, I’m here, that would be awesome,” you forced a smile. 

Had you done something wrong? Was it rude to invite Reese and have all this rubbed in his face? You thought he’d feel worse if you didn’t invite him. Your doubts flurried in your head as you stepped onto the elevator with Sam, chewing your cheek as you tried not to show your disappointment.

You were brought back to the present as the metal doors opened and Sam nudged you as you stared right through the open space. You stepped out ahead of him and he caught up and walked beside you as he explained what was hidden in every room; mostly offices and training gyms.

He unlocked a door at the far curve of the circular hallway and jiggled until it opened. He pushed it open and the lights flicked on automatically.

“Bucky,” he grumbled, “he almost took the handle right off… so now I gotta fight it.”

“Oh,” you entered as he beckoned you inside and you looked around the spacious office.

“You know, there’s lots of paperwork when you take out a whole bridge, even if it is an accident,” he laughed, “and it gives me a place to show this off.”

He went to the wall where the shield was held on small metal hooks and slid it out easily. The vibranium sung in the air as he turned to you and held it out. 

“You wanna?” he asked.

“Sure…” you murmured as he turned it around and held it so you could hook your arm through the straps. He let it go and stood back to look you over.

“It suits you,” he said, “got your own Redwing and you hold that like a real champ. Maybe it’s time I step aside.”

You laughed nervously and shook your head. You peeked down at the metal and lifted and angled around as you admired the smooth curve. 

“Thanks,” you offered it back to him and he took it with one hand, “for everything.”

“You’re taking the job, right?” he prodded, “it’s perfect.”

“Mmm, well, I got a job--”

“Better than here? Better than suiting up the Cap?” he chided.

You bent your ankle under you and swayed on your feet. It was a great opportunity and way better than your desk job. It just felt like you didn’t deserve it.

“I need an answer. Greta doesn’t like indecision,” he said.

“O-okay, okay,” you surrendered, “I… if I said no, I’d feel even worse.”

“You won’t regret it, promise,” he said, “if you do, Redwing is yours. The real one.”

“No, no, I’m…” you rocked as you gripped the straps of your knapsack, “I’m sure I won’t.”

🌠

Your two weeks notice rolled by. Your boss was less than pleased by the sudden departure but you didn’t care much as you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer. You wrapped up your last day with your replacement and left feeling free, though the anxiety of your job loomed on the other side of the weekend.

In those weeks since your visit to the SWORD facility, you hadn’t heard much from Reese. That night when you messaged him to make sure he was okay, he didn’t say much more than ‘just tired’. After that, he was always offline when you signed onto the server and all your co-op requests were declined. You were ready to give up. 

Oh well, it was an online thing anyway, you were stupid to think it could work out.

But you were not entirely isolated. To your surprise, you got several messages from Sam, you still couldn’t help but think of him as Captain America and feel like you had nothing interesting to say to a hero. When he found out you liked to game, he even joined you for a session on headset but again, you were hyper focused and quiet. You were flattered that he was trying to make you feel welcome, that he even bothered to get you a job, but it all felt so above you.

When you got home that night, you logged in and sent a request to Reese, just one last attempt. He didn’t even respond, even after fifteen minutes of waiting. You shut down your PC and grabbed your switch instead. You changed as the system updated your Animal Crossing and flopped onto your bed.

You laid across the mattress, one leg over the edge and the other bent. You ran through, planting, fishing, and selling as you tried not to think too much. You’d done enough of that lately. You zoned out as your eyes narrowed at the small screen but in your peripheral, you felt a shadow move. You shrugged it off as the sunlight playing through the curtains and rolled onto your side to ignore it.

You kept on, ready to log out as you didn’t want to spend another Nook Ticket to go to and island and get nothing but flowers. You heard a subtle whirring and glanced over at your computer. It was sleeping and it was never that loud. You noticed that light shift again and turned. There was nothing. Nothing but your dresser and the signed drone, just as you left it.

You squinted and turned off your Switch. You went out to the front room to drop it back in the dock. You stretched and grabbed your phone from your purse to put in an order for some take-out. You stopped as you noticed Sam’s unanswered messages.

‘Whatcha doin’ tonite?’ and several that assumed you must be busy.

‘Sorry, got caught up gaming,’ you replied guiltily. 

Your phone shook before you could close out of the chat and you answered as Sam’s name flashed across the top. 

“Hello?” you squeaked.

“Hey, hope I’m not buggin’ you but I thought-- stop, Jesus Christ, sorry, we’re on our way to dinner and we hoped you might join us.”

“We?” you echoed.

“Oh, ha, yeah me and Bucky, Greta, and some of the techs. Not too many of us but you’re more than welcome,” he said, “since you start on Monday, it will be good to get to know some people.”

“Y-yeah, for sure,” you answered. It felt more an obligation than an invite. You didn’t want to come across snobbish or lazy even if you’d rather eat fried noodles and watch some trash reality TV.

“Great! I’ll send you the address,” he growled and hissed under his breath, “sorry, again, I’m just dealing with this-- I’ll see you there. Save ya a seat.”

He hung up abruptly and you stood dumbfounded staring at your jacket. You dropped your phone back into your purse and headed back to your room. You had to find something to wear that didn’t seem like you were trying too hard or not trying enough.

As you entered, that same whirring floated through the air and suddenly stopped. You looked around confused; not a fly, not your PC acting up, nothing. You grimaced at the poster with the star emblem across it and went to your dresser to pick out an outfit. It was probably the neighbour fucking around. Apartment living was rarely peaceful.

🌠

The restaurant was bustling as you were met by the hostess at the door. You told her you were there to join the party from SWORD. She showed you to the table and Sam saw you above the din and waved to you then shoved Bucky over on the cushioned bench. 

“Right here,” he pointed as he waved you over and stepped aside to let you past. You sidled along and sat, apologizing to Bucky as he rolled his eyes, “not too late.”

You gave your drink order as a waiter came by and shrugged out of your jacket, letting it bunch up around your back. Sam offered his menu and introduced the people you didn’t know at the table; alongside Bucky and Greta, were Xan and Wyatt. You said hello and opted for the fiesta salad as you set aside the menu.

“Are you excited?” Sam asked.

“For what?” Bucky huffed, “she’s gotta put up with you.”

“Hey,” Sam took the lemon off the rim of his glass and tossed it at Bucky, “he lightens up… sometimes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky grumbled but you could hear the humour in his voice. 

You sank into the background as the night went on. You spoke up when you were called on but felt it hard to assert yourself, especially with someone as outspoken as Sam beside you. Still, he made sure to make you feel included when you started to feel forgotten. For that you were grateful and he was right, it made you feel a little less anxious about your first day.

As you came out onto the sidewalk, your wallet painfully lighter, you bid goodbye to everyone but Sam hung around. You clutched your purse and peered down the street.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you said.

“Ah, you know what, I shoulda asked that guy, Reese? How’s it going with him? He your boyfriend yet?”

“Ha, no,” you sucked in your lip and took a deep breath, “I don’t even think we’re friends anymore.”

“Oh no, what happened?” he asked.

“I dunno,” you said wistfully, “but it is what it is.”

“He’s missin’ out. You’re a cool girl,” he said, “building drones for fun. Kinda why I had to snag you, you know? Someone with your skills, that’s dangerous.”

“Dangerous?” you chortled, “no.”

“Well,” he checked his phone, “how are you getting home?”

“I’ll just take the train,” you said, “my place is only about a ten minute ride from here.”

“You sure? I can give you a ride,” he said.

“Nah, really, you’ve done… more than enough.”

“Alright, well, see you Monday?”

“Monday?” you wondered.

“I’ll pop in before I head out,” he said, “got a mission so I might not be around more than that.”

“Okay, Monday,” you confirmed, “see ya.”

🌠

Monday was a whirlwind. It started on a high as Sam suited up and showed off his wings before he headed up to the jet pad. Greta muttered that she was happy he’d be out of your way before she went through the task of getting you acquainted not only with the tech but with their workplace rituals. It was a lot to take in but you did your best to absorb every word and second.

When you got home, you had a folder full of notes and spent too long going over them before you remembered the groan in your stomach. You ate a lazy super of Kraft Dinner and lazed across your bed doing nothing but watching Youtube tutorials on your tablet. You fell asleep early and woke to your alarm and a dead tablet.

You got up, got dressed, ran out, and did it all again. The first week dragged by and yet it felt like you didn’t have enough time. On Friday, you got home and fell across the couch in your work clothes. You held your phone above you and scrolled dozily through your feed.

A dot popped up and you flicked over to your notifications. The selfie you posted on your first day at the lab with Sam in his suit had lots of hearts but your first comment was less than pleasant. Beside Reese’s icon was all caps: MUST BE EASY SLEEPING YOUR WAY INTO A JOB!

Your heart pattered and you sat up. You deleted the comment but another soon appeared; several as you kept deleting and finally blocked him. ‘Slut, whore, dumb bitch…’ it was the last thing you expected from him.

You opened Discord and clicked on his chat. ‘What’s going on? Why are you doing this?’

The text flicked across the bottom that Reese was typing but he stopped and you sat there for what felt like forever before his response popped up.

‘I can’t believe you brought me all the way there to rub my face in all that shit. And for what? You should’ve just told me I had no chance and I woulda left you alone. If you wanna fuck Sam Wilson, do it, but don’t chain me along like your little bitch boy. Get fucked slut.’

You flinched as you read it and re-read it. You typed shakily as your eyes watered. ‘I’m not fucking Sam and I wouldn’t. I brought you there because I wanted to and thought you would like it. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it. But I see what you think of me so I only wish you the best and hope you find peace.’

You sent the message but just as quickly, you were blocked from sending any more. You tossed your phone and fell back against the couch. That must have been why he took off but you couldn’t figure out how he thought you of all people were sleeping with Sam Wilson. Really? He was just another incel after all.

You phone jangled with your annoying ringtone and you grabbed it, expecting to be insulted by Reese again but it was Sam calling. You really weren’t in the mood to talk with him. You just wanted to be left alone. But you couldn’t just ignore Captain America.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey, I just got back in town. Whatcha doing?” you could hear the wind in the speaker.

“Just got home. I’m exhausted. Probably gonna just nap.”

“You okay?” he asked after a moment.

“Fine,” you said dully.

“Don’t sound fine,” he said, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you insisted.

“Oh, so it’s not what that boy said on your photo?”

“You saw that?”

“You tagged me, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s…”

“Shit, don’t listen to him. He’s just a boy, he blew his chance and he’s bitter about it,” he said, “how about I come over, make sure you’re really okay?”

“No, I don’t think--”

“Ah, come on, don’t make me worry all night about you,” he chided.

“Sam, you really--” There was a knock at the window and you froze. “Sam?”

The line clicked and you heard the tapping again. You lowered your phone and went to the window. Outside, geared up in his wings and suit, Sam hovered before the glass. You blinked and he rapped again. You snapped out of your shock and unlocked the window and slid it up.

“What are you doing?” you asked, “wait? How do you know where I live?”

He grabbed onto the frame and hooked his leg through as he retracted his wings. He bent under and sat half-in and half-out of the window, “forgive me? I did a bit of snooping in HR.”

“I told you not to come. I really don’t feel up to-- It’s really weird that you’re here,” you sat as he ducked pulled his other leg through and stood, “Sam, I think you should go.”

“You shouldn’t be alone, especially after that moron sending you that shit,” he said coolly as he took off his tinted goggles.

“Well, I want to be alone, so you should--”

“I mean, I haven’t even fucked you yet and he’s jealous,” he snickered, “so I guess we should give him a real reason.”

“What are you talking about? That’s… gross. You should go--”

“Come on, girl, you think this was really about a drone,” he tossed his goggles down and set his shield on the chair as he strode around the room, “convenience. I want you close.”

“I don’t--” you looked down at your phone, “get out, Sam.”

The tone of your finger pressing ‘9’ sounded and he spun quickly to face you. He stormed over to you before you could hit ‘1’ and ripped it from your grasp. 

“You’re gonna call the cops and say what? I’m Captain America,” he snarled, “but you can just call me Cap.”

He winked and threw your phone out the window smoothly. You gasped as he chuckled and lifted his wings off his back. He leaned them against the wall and stretched out his shoulders. He looked around as he twisted his tongue between his teeth.

“I like this, looks cozy,” he toed the side of the couch with his boot, “look better with you on it.”

You watched him stroll around the coffee table as he unzipped the collar of his suit. The scene was like some tainted nightmare. Maybe you’d fallen asleep. You were so tired you must have just passed out but you weren’t waking up.

You spun around and ran into the small hallway that led to your door. You were caught from behind, pulled back by the nape of your blazer as Sam tutted. His arm went around your waist and he lifted you off your feet. He turned and carried you back into the front room. You kicked and writhed as his strength enwrapped you.

“Please, please,” you begged, “I… I don’t understand. This isn’t-- this isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t--”

“Baby girl,” he cooed as he brought you close to the couch, “be good and listen to your Captain. Now stop this.”

“No, no,” you gulped at air as the panic rose in you, “I never-- please, you don’t have to do this--”

“You gotta do what I say,” he snapped and flung you onto the couch, “I don’t want to make you.”

You looked at him as you trembled in fear and disbelief. This couldn’t be. He was Sam Wilson, the Captain America; he was a nice guy.

“You have one minute to get naked,” he said and you just gaped at him, “you gonna make me repeat myself?”

Your throat tightened as his dark eyes bore into you. His hand balled to a fist and finally you found an ounce of strength. You pushed your legs over the edge of the couch and slipped out of your blazer. You stood carefully and watched him cautiously. You had to look away as your hands quivered over the buttons of your blouse.

You turned and folded your shirt over your blazer. You could hear him behind you as you unbuttoned your pants and pushed them down your legs. The question of what you were doing flitted through your head but the fear pulsed through you and took over.

“Ah,” he sighed and you peeked back as he freed himself of the top half of his stealth suit.

You turned back and hesitated. You knew there was more, you knew what he wanted, but your body locked up as your fingers curled and your insides knotted.

“Let me get that,” he came close and his fingers tickled along your shoulder blades and he unhooked your bra, “hmmm,” he let go and the cups fell off your chest, “almost there, baby.”

He stepped back and you shuddered. You dropped your bra and hooked your fingers under your panties. You wiggled them down a little at the time and heard the intake of breath as you pulled them down entirely. You stood still, unable to move, too mortified to face him.

“Come on, baby,” he said, “get comfortable.”

You inhaled and turned slowly. You went to the couch as he shed his undershirt and added it to the pile atop his shield. He looked at you and tilted his head as he licked his bottom lip. He snarled as he took in the sight of you and pointed you to the couch.

You sat and hugged yourself as he stripped off his pants along with his boxers in a single swipe. You flicked your eyes away as you glimpsed his hard dick as he stood straight and you stared at the open window. You smushed your lips together in horror and held in the tide of tears.

He came closer and you tried to tune out the room. This couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. You felt his hands on your knees and he urged your legs apart. You resisted for a moment then let him guide your limbs. It would be over sooner if you just let it happen.

He knelt on the floor as his hands kneaded along your thighs and framed your vee as he leaned over your lap. You winced and he kept your legs from closing as he pushed his body between them. His thumb grazed your folds and he pushed between them. You let out a hushed gasp as he swirled around your clit.

“See, it’s not so bad to be good, is it, baby?” he purred, “you’re wet already.”

He slid his thumb up and down and spread the wetness along your cunt. You were shocked and humiliated by your obvious arousal. You shouldn’t be turned on by this. Your body was not listening to your mind, it was obeying his touch.

“Mmm,” he hummed as he turned his hand and poked along your entrance with one finger. 

He pushed inside and you clenched around his intrusion. He pulled in and out and added another finger. Your nails clawed at the cushion and you pressed back into the couch. He kept his thumb on your clit as he worked his fingers inside of you and the tension clustered between his fingertips.

“Oh, baby, listen to you,” he bet forward and replaced his thumb with his tongue as he kept fingering you.

You turned your face up to the ceiling and squeezed your eyes shut. You bit your lip as the ripples radiated from your core and your breath hitched. His hand moved faster as he suckled at your bud and his free hand groped your chest blindly. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you came, your back arching as you pushed into him.

He teased you through your climax and pulled away only as you quaked and whined at his unyielding touch. He drew his fingers out of you and sat back to lick them clean. You peeked down at him and quickly away as his eyes blazed back at you.

“Up,” he stood and stroked himself shamelessly as he strode around the coffee table, “put your hands on there.”

You rose unsteadily, legs shaking beneath you as your entire being felt like jelly. You went to him and turned your back to him. You bent over and he grabbed your ass and squeezed with a growl. You gripped the table and hung your head as the cool air grazed your cunt.

He shoved his hand between your legs and rubbed you again. He stepped closer and bent his knees as he lined himself up with your entrance, sliding in between his fingers as he spread you wide. You choked as his tip poked inside and he eased himself inch by inch into you. He held your hip as he reached his limit and groaned.

“Baby, oh god damn,” he thrust so that your whole body jerked. It was painfully delightful. Of the few men you’d been with, he was the biggest, or at least the thickest.

He rocked slowly and a moan escaped your lips. Despite the torturous pressure of his intrusion, you could ignore the pleasure laced in the pain. His hand brushed up your as and along your back. He bent over you as his fingers curled over your shoulder and he pressed his body to yours as he fucked you.

You kept your head down as you tried to measure your breaths and the pathetic noises rising from you. He pushed his hand down your stomach and between your legs again to play with your clit. He moved his legs against yours and forced them together so your cunt hugged him even tighter. He grunted and you whimpered as his fingers added to the new pressure.

He sped up so that the table scraped against the floor but kept you up with one arm around you. He rutted into you wildly as his sultry voice filled your chest and his heat consumed you. You cried out as another orgasm swept through you and your cunt quivered around him desperately.

He pulled you up suddenly so you stood on your toes. He tilted into you as he brought his arms up around yours and tined his fingers behind your head. His flesh slapped yours loudly and you opened your eyes as you heard a familiar whirring. The drone flew before you, the signature on its shell, but a light blinking at its nose. Yours didn’t have a light.

“What--”

“Ah, yeah,” he rasped through rampant breaths, “looks like they got mixed up.”

“Huh--” you sucked in your breath as he thrust harder and deeper.

“I didn’t mind, he helped me keep an eye on you,” he said as he nuzzled you above his hands, “you look so cute in your little tee shirts.”

You groaned and leaned your head against him as another rush of fear was met with unwanted bliss. You murmured senselessly as he picked up his pace and the drone came closer. He purred as you felt his muscles tighten.

“Don’t worry,” he puffed, “I’ll make sure the boy knows he was right.”

He buried himself in you, nearly taking you off your feet, and twitched as he emptied himself into you. He rocked his hips subtly as he rode out his climax and stilled you as his voice gristled to rampant pants. His arms fell to embrace you and he kept you flush to him as he lingered inside.

“Or I can keep that little video to myself…” he brought his hand up to cradle your chin and poked his finger along your lower lip, “it’s all up to you, baby.”

[siriusmydeer]

selfcare

fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: you teach a confused fred about skin care.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: mentions of skin flaking off, kissing, tremendous fluff 

a/n: dude i thought of this in the shower, happy bday to the eldest twin

fred had always been confused on your self indulging care for your face. why did you need a rose-coloured mini-fridge dedicated to all these creams, and serums? what even was a serum— why did you need more than one? why could they only be for your face, why couldn’t you put them all over your body? why were some liquid while others were ivory-coloured and thick?

the questions remained endless in his witted mind, mostly used for storing his prank ideas away but now other bubbling questions came into the picture— but that never stopped him from watching you hypnotically every night whilst you smeared them onto your face, your skin glowing by the end of the night.

at the same mirror you had always looked in you had a variation of containers, some big, and some small all laid out in order of when you put them on. “hey— wait, slow down. y/n, what’s that one do? why’d you have to squirt it on the cotton thingy?” the slouched red head quickly berated you with questions at you pulling out a vermillion cylinder that could have clear liquid pouring out of it at the pump of your finger.

“freddie, it’s toner. it makes my skin tone even all over, i’d say it’s like getting rid of hyperpigmentation but i don’t think you know what that means.” you quickly chuckled at the boy whilst swiping the cotton pad over your skin, seeing fred hastily drowse in his thoughts at your borderline accusation and why it was liquid rather than why it couldn’t just plop onto your face like cream.

“you know you should teach me all about this stuff, what they do and why you put it on your face.” he insinuated, gesturing to everything that messily laid on the counter whilst walking closer to the mirror you were staring at, both of your reflections abundantly clear in the dormitory bathroom; his bewildered reflection and your reflection tremendously concentrated.

you were adamantly focused on your face, a thick ivory cream placed on the apples of your cheeks and throughly swiping it into your flesh until it had blended with your skin tone.

“or i could just put it on for you, it’s a lot to learn— took me quite a bit.” you implied to him, suggesting that every night he could just place you on the counter, legs wrapped around his torso and you could smear all of your skincare products into his current-glowing skin.

stupid weasleys blessed with stupidly nice skin.

he shrugged gaping at you, his forearms now placed onto the sink; his whole body now hunched over and his head looking at you, seeing the arch of your brow at wether he would agree or not.

“i mean, sure.” he absentmindedly agreed, quite unsure of what he could possibly be getting himself into. “what kind of skin type do you have— combination, oily or dry?” you spoke hastily whilst combing through your drawers for certain products that would’ve fit him best. at the lack of response you turned your head towards his direction, seeing an immensely confused fred weasley at your disposal.

his eyes fully widened, the whisky pools of his irises substantially clear as he gaped at you in confusion blubbering like a fish on what to say, his jaw almost going slack at his incertitude at what the actual hell you just asked him.

your eyebrows rapidly creased at his skepticism, going for the easiest assumption and returning to digging through your drawers. “i’m gonna go with combination for the sake of it.” your voice quite muffled from the fact that your head was now buried in a drawer, your hands picking up every product and reading the labels carefully.

you returned with a tube of moisturizer— a tube? he had seen cylinders, rectangles and weird circular containers but he had never seen long tubes.

you steadily placed yourself onto the marble countertop, beckoning him closer to you. the look of confusion still adamant on his features as you inspected his skin with your agile fingers, while his colossal hands were placed on the planes of your thighs.

“yep, definitely combination.” fred didn’t even know what having combination skin meant. was his face half greasy and half dry? was his face to hard to deal with because it had two problems rather than one?

“you’re face is scrunched and your dazed out in lala land, what’re you getting yourself worked up about?” you crooned while questioning, before he could even get a blip of a sentence in he felt a cool smooth texture placed upon the creases in his forehead— the white cream covering up the boys dimmed freckles.

“what’s all this— crap, even mean?” fred was blunt, extremely blunt, he didn’t understand why you couldn’t just wash for face with water? why you had all these extra steps to go with it, to him it just seemed like a waste of time.

“it helps with texture, oily skin, dry skin, acne, wrinkles, pores. your skin is a mix of oily and dry, so in some portions of your face it’s one, and in others it’s different. like y’know the pesky black specs on your nose? creams, serums, masks, for example they help get rid of those.” you almost recited like it was natural, your priority focused on blending the ivory cream into the boys pale skin, fred feeling the soothing feeling of your fingers massaging the cream into his flesh as you spoke to him.

“i didn’t realize there was so much, like, to take care of your skin or whatever. i thought you could just use water.” fred murmured, seeing your face intensely focused on stroking it softly onto the apples of his cheeks. “me too, that was until my skin started to flake off because it was so dry— because hence, no moister.” you added with a shrug, you body starting to slouch so your face could be closer to his own. 

as the cream became one with his skin you tapped on the pointed chisel of his nose a few times before encasing your palms on his cheek bones and pressing a small kiss to his lips. you further slowly dragged one of your palms to the nape of his neck, swirling his tresses around your fingers as he sighed in delight; your eyes remaining contact throughout the duration of his time.

his eyes were light brown, maybe even honey coloured— they pooled in affection along with flicks of hazel green and chocolate brown in his irises. his pupils dilated every few seconds, as he gaped intently at you. “d’you think i’m pretty now?” his whisper was soft, meant for your ears alone— he was trying to make a small joke to try and not adhere to the tension that might’ve been building in the room, and simply just showing you his utter most affections.

“you’re always pretty, m’boy. always so pretty.”

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