#blehghh!!!

[iamyelling]

so frustrating seeing people be Wrong! on the internet!! and i (feel like) i can't respond bc all like "ohhh it's a distraction! does it really matter? stop ~discoursing~ and just be positive and uplift the community and don't ARGUE because it's like neeegative and stuff!! youre doing the enemy's work this is what the transphobes want! daring to even discuss a simple thing is basically the same as calling trans people groomers actually!!" and so i'm like fine ok i'll keep my mouth shut haha but i'm just over here like grrrr this is so STUPID you all are so STUPID! have some nuance! also nobody is saying that aghghghghgh

okay this is about that ridiculous discourse about "don't call people eggs" / is it bad or okay or funny or problematic to joke about someone being closeted about being trans when you see them exhibiting slight gender nonconformity.

what i have said is it is not cool, it is in poor taste. when i say it is 'inappropriate' i don't mean like in the groomer way jesus christ i mean in the socially it's not kind or the thing to do. i am of this opinion because i have always heard from many people of a variety of gender experiences that is makes them very uncomfortable and it feels very invasive and they do not appreciate it and it does not help them at all. i think whether these comments are being made to their face or privately in a separate group, it is still not cool. i do not think it makes anyone like Problematic, i just think it's like a broooo that's not a cool thing to do knock it off sideye type of thing. i think that people one, should be given the freedom - without PRESSURE! - to come to an understanding of who they are in their own time without pestering or pressuring or interrogation or anything. i ALSO think that someone exhibiting small or even HUGE gender nonconformity does not mean they are secretly not the gender they say they are. GNC cis people exist and have always existed and will continue to exist. don't put pressure on people like "oooh what are you REALLY?? i don't think you're REALLY a woman you're just gonna turn into a man because youre so masculine. just wait! you'll realize!!" is SO inappropriate how do you not see that? it's so in poor taste. it's not funny its not cute just knock it off!

i absolutely understand the urge and desire to search for hints and clues of your own transness from before you (general you) realized, when you were an egg / before you transitioned. i totally get that. i do that all the time too. i understand wanting to be able to point to evidence and proof that it was there all along. this is totally okay to do to your own past self! or with your friends who you know and they are talking about their own past self! it's not okay to say this to other people or to strangers or to people you do know you aren't okay with it or who tell you they are the gender that they are.

who does it help to make these 'jokes'? you're saying they're just an egg waiting to crack and they just don't know it yet. youre saying you know more about who they are than they know about themselves. i understand saying this in private, or about certain dead celebrities, or about oneself, but its something else when you say it about another regular person. who is it helping to enforce rigid gender boundaries? who is it helping to say someone is just yet to figure out their gender, for being gender nonconforming? can you not appreciate who they are as they are now? what is it about the joke that makes it funny? is it that you wish someone had told you maybe you were trans? imagine if they had made this same joke about you when you were an egg/closeted? how would you have felt? i imagine for many people it makes them feel defensive and pushes them further into the closet. maybe not you though idk of course everyones different! but maybe you wish you had figured your gender out sooner? maybe you are mourning all the lost time? maybe you wish the someone had helped you sooner? the way they would do that is gently and hinting and hand holding, it's not by making jokes about the smallest nonconformities. ask yourself where is the desire to make these jokes coming from, for you? do you want to prove to yourself that you had a 'tell'? that you were different and distinguishable from cis people? do you want to make yourself feel or appear more worldly and experienced? do you want to be able to clock people and have a gaydar and prove to others that you can? do you want to feel superior to other trans folks? do you want to feel connected to other trans folks, and fit in? all these questions i mean genuinely - they are for you to answer and think about! no judgement whatever the answers may be. maybe you dont even have answers for most of em it's just worth thinking about.

the problem here is that it's invasive and it makes people feel highly scrutinized, when they are in a more tender and delicate state. maybe they are an egg! maybe they are closeted! maybe they are gnc cis! regardless of what they "really" are, let them be. let people be. it's presumptuous and in poor taste.

again. it does not make anyone big P Problematic. it is absolutely not anything anyone should be cancelled over (unless theyre like making a whole brand out of scrutinizing gnc people or something.. don't do that. jeez. but nobody's doing that omg thank god can you imagine??). i'm not saying anyone is pressuring people into being trans, i'm saying these people feel "under pressure" - it makes them feel very observed and scrutinized and uncomfortable. i'm also absolutely not calling anyone a groomer jesus fuckin christ!! i don't think anyone is saying that! or at least anyone who is saying that is obviously a transphobe and it's certainly not what i'm saying. i can’t help you if you’re choosing to misinterpret what i’m saying.

like fine! if these egg jokes are truly so important to transfem culture like fine go for it. honestly! if you understand all this and youre going about it carefully and cognizant of the impacts and stuff i think it's fine. i don't think it's perfectly harmless i think you just gotta be a little careful and not get carried away.

do i think this is a Big Deal? no. it’s not our biggest problem. i still think i’m allowed to say my piece on it though! like we’re not running out of tumblr space lol it costs nothing to just talk about it

[aerozooka]

heres the first time i drew catharsis…… even though hes my fav i kinda butchered him LMAO ill do him justice later

[ratcandy]

World's most legitimate clan leader in the history of forever!!!!!!!!!!

Clamstar is a WC OC being used for the @starsofdestinyrp !! <3 <3

[saviorpilled]

this was just an excuse to draw hetch w top surgery scars im not even gonna lie to u

[agent-aromantic]

My gender identity is really funny actually because i prefer not to talk about it and i find it 100x easier to just call myself A Guy but only my girlfriend knows my Secret Gender

[thealexisreal]

I drew 4 of my limbus OCs (Milo, Buck, Christine and Winston) into the canto 2 credits like eons ago and they’re so obvious but idc I wanna post something today 😭😭😭

not telling you who or where they are B)

[notjaydair]

good day to ART dump

ART DUMP DAY!!! blehghh pwshwhhssh

[franpun]

How would pizzano feel if i kissed him on the cheek? Lmao

He would absolutely hate the kisses. So wet and yucky!!!

"BLEHGhH!"

[habitual-creatures]

I know…go back to sleep…

*gently setting him back in the nest*

Well fuck…it really got to Dakota…

Blehghh- Don't wamna...

[thecourtjester12]

*knock knock* BLEHGHH!! Did i get'cha? Happy Halloween >:3

"Boo! Did I sssssscare you back little star?"

"Very ssssscary costume you have, very scary. A treat for a scare then...here you go. A fizzy faz and a moondrop, don't have them both at once now."

"Happy Halloween, have a sssssscary one now~"

Happy Halloween! I hope you have a good one!!! ^_^

[foxbinnstuff]

here we go again💥💥💥p p p part 2 to the kaisai/saikai playlist!!

part one over here teehee

song lyrics

my opinion based ratings

other stuff I refrence

Kaido and Saiki deal with a lot on a daily basis so I just think that this song kinda fits them. Its really cute too, like its such timid yet soft and sweet love

“if you want you can stay with me in my bed, if you want to, only if you want to”

I do think this is more of a Kaido song for them, like he’s a nervous little guy and only gets more nervous when he even thinks about romance.

this song is when Kaido finds out about his crush on Saiki to me. Its like Kaido oh so timidly asking for help from Saiki cuz he wants to get closer to him blegh

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 7

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 6

this song is seriously so sweet and dramatic. It feels like a Kaido song for his chuunibyou/8th grade syndrome. I think he’d be soo dramatic once he got over the thought of actually having a crush on someone and he’d be oh so passionate like I can imagine Kaido thinking the line “you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be” in that painfully longing way, like thinking about it from the Jet black wings point of veiw, and how he’s not necessarily good, but trying his absolute best to be, but whoever he’s crushing on (Saiki in this case) brings out the good in him and feels like an absolutely good person, right down to the soul, like he will never be.

But out of those fantasies, I think he’s partly so goddamn down bad, that he creates delusions just to think such dramatic things about Saiki. To be honest, you could 100% see this song as just Kaidou x basically anyone, this just feels like how he silently yearns and loves.

But, this could also be a Saiki song to me, cuz oh my god, he’s the one who actually has powers and he’s literally only ever blamed himself for everything, so some of these lines fit quite well with his selflessness, the desire to be seen as his true self, and the feeling of being more than human, but knowing deep down that he is a human like everyone else. I’m gonna barf omg

“cuz I know that you feel me somehow”

idk why but this line is like really them to me.

“and I don’t want the world to see me, cuz I don’t think that they’d understand.”

“when everythings meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

“yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive”

IM GONNA BARFF DOES ANYONE HEAR MEE

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 8

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 5

this song is soo sweet I just imagine them dancing together in a crowded room, Kaido’s thoughts taking most of Saiki’s mind, from just how big they always seem to be, so its practically just them

this is both of them tbh.

“I know its hard to tell, but I think I really like you” BOTH OF THEM TO EACH OTHER AGH

“cuz if we dance then, you don’t have to speak” mostly Kaido to Saiki, but also imagine this as Saiki to Kaido like they understand each other does that make sense? Staring with my big huge eyes while shaking

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 9

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 9

Kaido to Saiki as Saiki opens up more BLEHGHH

“living in the background, wondering what you meant”

“some things leave me confused, but especially you”

HE’S JUST A NERVOUS BOY TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE CONFUSING FEELINGS FOR HIS BESTFRIEND!!!!!

This song is soo Kaido to me

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 6

this is more of a Saiki to Kaido song to me in some bits urm

I just think about Saiki being maybe a little silently jealous when he and Kuboyasu get so close to each other, like I can’t exactly explain it, but I just think about Saiki seeing Kuboyasu playing into Kaidos fantasies and seeing how much fun they’re having and just regretting ever having powers, cuz he wants to play into Kaido’s dumb little fantasies and be that dumb kid every once in a while, I just know it deep in my heart.

“theres something on my mind, theres something that I wish I would of told you but you just don’t seem to wonder what I’m doing when you’re close to me.”

“theres something on my chest I wish I would of said. I think it over and it might be true, I’m only overthinking when I’m close to you”

I ccould be crazy for this one, but I also might just really like Saiki pining and yearning without really knowing wtf is happening to him.

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 8

THIS ONE IS SOO SPECIAL TO ME UUGH

“always been too scared and unprepared to let anybody get too close to me”

to me this is them being antisocial and pushing away a lot of people for one reason or another, until they met each other. Something something Kaido was the first person Saiki called a friend in the series something something. I just think about how they first met in the manga, how Kaido was so set on solving the disappearing trickster problem just to TALK to Saiki like oh my fucking god I can’t BLEEHHHH

“right away I knew, you would never ever, ever hurt me” does anyone get how much this lyric means to me and how fucking them it is?!

“and you hold my hand and you understand” uuuugh I can barely explain myself just think about it.

“you’re all I ever dreamed of, and you love me” collapses on the floor KAIDO TO SAIKI KAIDO TO SAIKI

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 8

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 10

this just pretty much has the vibe of them tbh hehe they are just soo nervous for each other I think. mostly a Kaidou to Saiki song.

“this is so them” factor in lyrics: 5

“this is so them” factor in vibe/atmosphere: 7

honorary shout outs in the playlist 💥💥

(you) on my arm- Leith ross

AAAA I LOVE LEITH ROSS!!!

Talk too much- COIN

Electric Love- BØRNS

ookay thats all byebyeee hope you enjoyed my insane ideas and thoughts I can barley put into words AAAAA IM INCRAZY

[cyradearest]

i have covid again blehghh

[brainthreeze]

hi! more stuff about finrey and the deep sea au!!!!!

note before reading this: go read the intro to this au!

the nihilanth is the big bad at the end of the game in this au, not benrey, though benny does end up being antagonistic at points

(quick side note: the nihilanth is probably going to get a complete fuckinv overhaul to make it more menacing and fit in more with the whole theme…. no giant space baby sorz..)

Xen has different “sections” most of it is water but there are air pockets and such, hence why there’s still “land” creatures from Xen (normal peeper puppies, headcrabs etc)

EMMET CALHOUN canon, and literally the only other remaining member of benrey’s species (the rest are dead blehghh). he escaped Xen a few years prior to black mesa capturing benrey. he ended up going undercover as human and actually applying for a security job at BM.

Benrey can still change size, noclip, shapeshift, etc.. BUT NO SWEET VOICE. instead he has the orbs on his tail, he can detach them and they’ll grow back (moreso just pop back into existence but egghghhhh) tehy have yhe same effects, and you can eat them lol :3

benny pulls all the bitches but the main one I’m gonna focus on will probably be evil Powerade (darnrey!) i think their dynamic would be really cute

after his tests, he’s sometimes allowed to roam around the facility, so long as he doesnt cause trouble.

also: the viewing window in his tank is at the top of the tank, the inside is very dark, littered with xen flora and fake rock structures, he has a sort of "den" almost, in a small cave near the bottom of the tank (its a very big tank) there's also an airlock near the window that he (and the scientists) use to get in and out of the tank, but he prefers noclipping through the glass. (this is very damaging esp because the room that the window is connected to doubles as Tommy's office.....)

note: ty to @cerereann for encouraging me to go through with making this shit in the first place muah muah best boyfriend

[sansheriff]

in an effort to push myself out of my comfort zone and meet new people ive signed up for meetup. most of the local events are a bit too normie and even more are church based blehghh but ive gotta start somewhere

[mangoboogaloo2]

It is so hard not to be a perfectionist when trying to storyboard something, since you have to consider the storytelling and visual aspect things to best communicate what message/themes you have for the viewer and then it’s like

Blleeeghh

Treating every storyboard project as practice is a good mindset so I should just doooo it but then

blehghh

The conflict of wanting to make an animatic yet in chronic perfectionism is kinda real

(Sorry sorry ramble over have good day)

[puppygirlsub]

plgupunf my phnnw in is yurinto me

blehghh tmorrror is wenddtsy

wait theyfds todaysjdsnhsdb haye tiem