#binge breaking bad in 2 weeks

[itscuntingseason]

JUST WATCHED FELINA. MY BREAKING BAD WATCH IS FINALLY OVER. I AM LIBERATED. I AM A CHANGED MAN. 

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[vanilla-voyeur]

Waiting for the 10hr YouTube video about how the Netflix binge model is broken

[warm-mangoes-with-chai]

Still got exams & final projects

[catssluvr]

𝓰𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓾𝓼 (2), emily prentiss

pt1 (but this can be read alone if you’d like!!)

emily prentiss x fem!reader

three times you knew you loved eachother and the one time you told her

warnings: injuries, r bites her lips, crying, kissing and a tiny tiny bit suggestive, but overall fluff <3

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

The leaves crunch under Emily's boots as she walks through the park, a nice breeze brushing her face. Her eyes scan the grass extension, searching for you with an excited smile on her lips.

Just as she used to look forward to the nights in which she would share a muffin with you at the coffee shop, she now looks forward to your dates. She's sure that asking you out was probably one the best things she's ever done. She already knew you were going to be perfect (as always), but you seem to be breaking the scale even more everyday. She's also almost completely sure you feel the same way, you wouldn't be about to have your 5th date if it wasn't reciprocate.

Emily feels almost bewitched. She loves the way you text her every morning and night, the way you always write something cute on her cup of coffee before handing it to her (she has no idea how you haven't run out of things to write yet), the way you never make her feel guilty for having to cancel a date because of her job, and most of all she loves the way you can make her forget about everything that's bad when she's with you.

She finally spots you, sitting down on a picnic towel with a small basket beside you. You're dressed in a dark blue sweater that looks most definitely like it's inviting her for a hug, blue jeans and your sneakers are discarded besides the towel. She thinks you look more than gorgeous.

"Ems, hi!" You finally notice her when she approaches, sweet smile plastered on your face.

"Hey." She waves lightly before you're getting up, arms engulfing her in a bear hug like you had a read her thoughts just a moment ago.

The conversation quickly starts flowing between you as she insists that you tell her all about what happened since your last date. You comply easily, telling her full details about the movie you watched a week ago and something about a really rude client at the shop.

A familiar comfortable silence falls over you, hands intertwined and occasional glances towards eachother.

"Oh- i almost forgot. I bought you some muffins with that frosting you love!" Your face brightens and you reach for the tiny basket, pulling out the sweet cakes.

"You didn't have to- thank you." She couldn't help but find herself in a loss of words. You were way too sweet to her, ever since the day she met you.

Her hands reaches out for the muffin in your hands before binging it to her lips, a pleased hum leaving her mouth when she takes the first bite.

"It's really good." Emily confirms, not noticing the frosting smudged on the corner of her mouth.

With a silent chuckle, you pull yourself closer. "Here." Your thumb reaches for her lips, wiping the frosting there.

She swears you can probably hear her heart beating right now. It isn't news to her that you are usually very straight forward, but until now the most the has happened is a few kisses on the corner of her lips and hands lingering on her waist after a hug way more than they normally would - and she definitely doesn't complain.

The proximity makes her nervous, a good nervous. The butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the breath catching in her throat. Maybe the sweaty hands aren't as nice, but Emily thinks it's worth it.

She now realizes there is no way she can wait one more second to finally know if your lips are as soft as they look. Her finger catch your wrist as you start retiring it from her lips, kissing the pads of your finger as a silent thank you. Maroon spreads from your neck to your cheeks, shocked by the sudden boldness.

Taking advantage of your rare shyness, Emily reaches to take your face in her hands. Lips touching yours tentatively before you finally take hold of her waist, returning her kiss quickly.

It's gentle, sweet. She doesn't have either of those a lot in her life. You ground her, make her understand she also deserves it. And she doesn't intend to let go of you anytime soon.

It feels strange to feel so attached to someone after a few dates, or maybe the months of pining over you helped creating this feeling. She never believed in feeling something so strong for someone, feeling like you're sweeping her off her feet just by looking at her.

But she knows it's real now. She knows it because you're real. Because she loves you.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

You bury your head deeper into the pillow, trying to escape the sunlight peeking through the window. Your frown momentarily disappears as you reach for her side of the bed but it soon returns when you feel it completely empty.

Emily enters the room not long after, dressed in only a white button up and underwear and you take a moment to admire her as she walks around the room getting ready. It feels good to know she's finally letting her guard down completely when with you, not afraid to flirt back and be comfortable. Her eyes land on you when you stretch your arms and a smile creeps over her face.

"Hey sleepyhead, sleep well?" She asks, fingers working on putting on the small gold earrings.

"Morning." You mumble groggily, rubbing your eyes and sitting up with your back against the headboard. "Why didn't you wake me? I'll walk out with you."

"You can just hang here, i'll probably be back by dinner time." Your heart warms at her request, the domesticity of it feels more than welcoming. But you can't help but feel like you might be intruding.

"Nonsense, i don't wanna take over your house while you're not here." You say, hands working on taming your bed hair.

"I want you to stay." She reassures, approaching your side of the bed. Taking the opportunity, you pull her to straddle you, giggling when she lets out a surprised gasp.

"Giving me a lot of girlfriend treatment lately, uh?" You tease, hands resting comfortably at her waist.

"Well- what if i wanted you to be...?" Her voice was nervous. Eyes anywhere but your face and fingers messing with your sleep shirt.

"Agent Prentiss, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" One of your hands slide to hold her chin, directing her gaze to yours.

"Would you say yes if i were?" She asks tentatively.

"It would definitively be some way to wake up." Your smile brightens when she rolls her eyes jokingly.

"Baby." Her tone is stern but her smile breaks the facade rather quickly.

"I'd say yes, Em." You confirm, not that it was ever a doubt. You've been meaning to ask her that yourself but it seems she was quicker to do it

"Then i'm definitely asking." Her confidence returns, hands sliding up to your neck and gently holding your face.

"Asking me what?" You feign ignorance but your gaze slides between her eyes and lips.

"Be my girlfriend?" She finally asks, face way closer to yours than a moment ago, the tension building up by the second.

"Yes." You all but manage to breath out before her lips crash into yours. Her arms wrap around your shoulders to pull you closer, torso practically glued to yours.

Your fingers slide inside her button up, massaging the soft skin. You nip at her lip and before your hands can slide lower, she pulls away.

"I really gotta get ready." Emily whispers, nose rubbing against your cheek.

"You're no fun, Ems." You fake pout and she quickly kisses it away.

"M'sorry."

"Do i get extra girlfriend treatment tonight if i make you some breakfast?" You question as she lifts herself from your lap.

"For sure." The raven haired smirks, pinching your thigh gently before disappearing into the closet. You chuckle to yourself, hands smoothing down your sleep shirt when you stand up.

Your mind feels hazy, still coming down to the fact Emily is now officially your girlfriend. This is different than anything you've ever had with anyone. It feels different. You love her, you're sure of it.

"Hey, Em?" You call as you're about to head to the kitchen.

"Yes, baby?" She reappears from the closet, now completely dressed in a black suit, the white button up peaking from the inside of her blazer. That's enough to take your breath away.

You shake your head, "Nothing, you're just very pretty."

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

Emily takes a sip of the coffee in her hands, smiling briefly at the 'have a great day, pretty <3' note on it. Normally she would be grumpy just by looking at the gigantic mountain of files on her desk, but having been woken by you littering kisses all over her face was enough to make her morning happy.

Sighing, she returns to writing on the paper in front her. But her attention is cut short when the elevator dings, followed by you walking out of it.

Now that was definitely new, you haven't even met her friends, let alone visit her at work. She's not hiding you, that's a fact. You know her job is dangerous and you're also aware she's scared to get you involved with it. You don't mind waiting, not at all. She's made it clear you can meet them whenever you want, it just hasn't happened it.

You look around the bullpen, a small stack of files in your hands. You smile brightly when you see her, walking up to her while ignoring the heads that snap in your direction.

"Hey, Agent. Sorry for showing up without a warning, you left these at my place and i kept thinking they might be Important." Her heart flutters at your thoughtfulness.

"Thank you. You're an angel." She gets up from her chair, feeling the urge to at least great you properly. "And you can show up anytime." She adds, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze.

"This place seems nice. Feels homey- Well, as homey as it can be, you know." She knows what you mean, it's not necessarily the surroundings that make it a comfortable environment, it's the fact that people seem so comfortable with eachother. They're her family, in a way.

"Yeah, it does." She bites her lips trying to prevent the smile from escaping. She didn't imagine she'd be so happy with seeing you so comfortable with visiting her at the bau.

"Oh my god, is that her?" Penelope's not so low whispers pull you both out of your little bubble.

"Damn, Prentiss got some luck. That's my girl." Derek teases with a smile on his face.

Truth is all of her friends pretty much knew she was dating someone before she even questioned telling them. They claimed she looked happier, more smiley than usual - she'd probably turn into a stuttering mess if they ever told you that. Until one day Spencer pointed out the way her cup of coffee always had a sweet note in it, and the way she was arriving late at work more often. She eventually stopped denying it but was still quite secretive about you, it was endearing to see them try to find out more about her 'secret girlfriend'.

Stifling a chuckle, she looks over your shoulder to find both Garcia and Morgan shamelessly eying the both of you.

"Care to introduce us, Emily?" JJ appears with a smug smile, standing beside them.

Emily clears her throat nervously, "Yeah uh- meet my girlfriend, guys." Your hand touches her back in a comforting manner, smiling politely at them.

"It's so nice to meet you all, i've heard so much about you." You wave lightly and she notices your hopeful gaze. Meeting them all so suddenly was probably not on your mind today but you seemed just as excited as them.

"It's so nice to meet you! I'm Penelope and gosh- you're even more gorgeous than i imagined." The blonde woman hugs you sweetly and your smile immediately widens. Emily always knew you and Pen would get along easily, your bubbly personalities matching perfectly. But seeing it made her want to smile so hard that her cheeks hurt.

Hotch appears at the end of the staircase, "We need you all in the conference room in five." Before disappearing into his office again. But the slight smile he gives Emily doesn't go unnoticed by her. Relief washes over her at seeing the people she loves the most getting along.

They all grumble disappointedly from the introduction they all had been waiting for ages being cut so short. Bidding their goodbyes to you before leaving to the conference room.

"Well i won't distract you anymore." You turn back to her before adjusting her button up. "Is it too bad i want a goodbye kiss?"

"Nope." She smiles giddy before leaning in to place a quick peck on your lips.

"Okay now i'll actually leave. See you later, m'love." You walk to the elevator, smiling at her one last time before the doors close.

Emily finds herself looking at the closed elevator doors for a moment. She can't wait to get to tell you the three words begging to come out from the tip of her tongue.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

You bite at your nails anxiously, tears threatening to spill from your eyes at any moment. The hospital corridors seem endless as you walk in a fast pace.

You had been sleeping peacefully when a call from Penelope abruptly woke you up. You knew it couldn't be anything good, feeling immediately awake as you answered the call. The words 'she's hurt' and 'hospital' being all you needed to hear before you were leaping out the door.

You look and feel like a mess. Hair unbrushed, sweatshirt and sweats crinkled and possibly mismatched sneakers - you don't care enough to check. Your breathing is uneven and your lips are probably swollen from biting on them so hard.

All you know is that Emily is somewhere in this building, laying on a hospital bed without you by her side. One broken rib, a blow in the head that luckily didn't cause a concussion and other smaller injuries like a split lip and a gash across her cheek. You hate that those are considered 'small' compared to the others.

You finally find Penelope standing by a coffee machine, practically running towards her.

"Where is she?" You don't mean to sound rude, but you feel desperate. You knew it would happen at some point, you knew she'd get injured. After all her job is dangerous. You just didn't think it would be before you even got to tell her.

"Hey, hey it's okay, sweetheart. She's okay, i called you cause i know she will feel better just by seeing that sweet face of yours." She tried to lighten the mood, only now you noticed the tears are freely streaming down your cheeks.

"Take me to her, please." She's going to be okay, so why do you feel like this? It's hard to say. You're aware of how you're exaggerating, it could be way worse - and maybe that's the reason.

Garcia looks at you worryingly but silently leads the way - you make note to thank her later.

As you're about to walk into the room, you make sure to take a deep breath and wipe the tears on your face. The last thing you want is for Emily to see you like this, she's already had enough of a bad day.

"Hi, baby." Her hoarse voice greets you the second you step in. The corners of her lips turn upwards into a tired smile.

"Hi." You breath out, relief washing over you at finally seeing her with your own eyes. She's okay. You're by her side in a flash, sitting on the chair right beside her bed. Hand grabbing hers and squeezing it tightly. "How?"

"Well i might have ended up exchanging a few punches with the unsubs- and i guess he was a bit stronger than i thought. But-" It was obvious she was trying to lighten the mood but it really only made you more distressed.

"You got in a fight with the unsub?" You practically yelp, eyes examining her bruised knuckles.

"I had to sweet girl. But i'm okay, yeah?" It feels wrong that she's the one comforting you when it should be otherwise. You bring her hand to your lips, kisses each of her knuckles multiple times.

"I know." You respond as convincingly as possible. "You're an idiot, Prentiss." It comes out way less humorous than you intend it to.

"Are you okay?" She asks with a frown, it really isn't usual for her to see you like this. You're usually bubbly and happy, taking any opportunity that's given to you to make one of your jokes. She worries you might have finally realized that it's not worth being with her if you're gonna have to be constantly worried if she even comes home in one piece. Little does she know.

"Yeah, it's just- i'm terrified, so terrified, of loosing you to this job. And i'm even more terrified to know i could've lost you today without even getting the chance to tell you that-" You stop yourself before you can utter the words you've been longing to say for months now. You always imagined that when you eventually said those words, you'd be somewhere at least a tad bit more romantic. And you definitively didn't imagine you'd be in the brick of tears.

"Tell me what?" Emily grips your hand and brings it to her chest, you can feel the gentle beating of her heart against it.

"That i love you, obviously." You say, now as calm as you can bring yourself to be. You want her to know you mean it. You do. This might not be the epitome of romance but it feels intimate - raw.

"Oh, angel. I love you." It's now her turn to feel relieved, her worries subsiding completely. Warmth spreads across her chest at the thought of you being so nervous to tell her. Of course she loves you. She loves you ever since she laid eyes on you at that coffee shop, ever since you brushed your finger against hers for the first time and mostly ever since she realized you were the only one able to make her smile even in her darkest days.

"Come here." She pats the space beside her in the bed and you're quick to join her. Careful not to touch any injurie, you bury yourself in her side. Head in her shoulder as you feel your eyes immediately grow heavier, the sense of comfort invading your senses.

"You better not scare me like this again, Agent." You finally tease and she can't help but chuckle.

"I'll always come back to you, gorgeous." She says barely above a whisper, lips pressing against your hair.

·˚ ༘₊·꒰➳: ̗̀➛

a/n: you asked, i delivered 💌

honestly had so much fun writing this 🙏🏼

love you,

cat 🤍

[doraspenlow]

Sopranos Sunday: A Call To Action

Are you feeling morose about the end of HBO’s Succession? Does the current state of television, vaguely defined by binging shows in a week and mostly forgetting them, make you sad? Have you always wanted to watch The Sopranos, considered by many to be the greatest show of all time, but you just haven’t gotten around to it? Well, I’m like you, and I have an idea for you, inspired by this tweet I saw yesterday:

This struck me as a good idea for tumblr, because it would involve many things tumblr loves, namely:

Prestige TV (See, Succession)

Serialized Narratives (See, Dracula Daily)

Mobsters (See, Goncharov)

Doing things collectively (See, Dracula Daily and Goncharov)

And commitment to the bit (See, this whole website)

So. Let’s do it. This Sunday, June 11th, let’s start a journey back to turn of the millennium New Jersey. That evening, around 8-10 PM (prestige tv timeslot) go to HBO Max or an… illicit… website, and turn on episode 1 of The Sopranos. Blog about it. Speculate about what might happen in future episodes (it’s more fun if you don’t spoil yourself). The next Sunday, watch episode 2. And so on, and so on. This will be a Commitment (The Sopranos has 86 episodes, so at a pace of one a week that’s nearly two years) but I believe in the tenacity of tumblr users. And I think we’re ready for the odd Breaking Bad memes but about The Sopranos now.

If you feel moved to join me, spread the word! Post any liveblogging etc in the “sopranos sunday” tag! And if you’ve already seen the show, maybe this would be a good time to rewatch? Anyway, have fun! I hope to see you all this Sunday night!

[racergirl-112]

Push Me Over - Chapter 2: Down Bad

MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Content: Adult, Smut Warnings: mentions of orgasms, vibrators, language

A few days later

After a few days of shooting the main cast, Dani was finally making her debut on set. She had spent the morning in her trailer in hair and make-up and now was finally in her costume, the form fitting spandex, being more revealing than she thought. She heard the call over the radio of her assistant Kayla, that it was her time. 

“Are you ready?” Kayla asked. Dani nodded her head. Kayla replied to something over the radio before walking Dani to the main soundstage where they would be filming today. 

While they were on break from a scene, Ryan and Shawn were looking over some footage while Hugh scrolled through his phone. He had been divorced for a week and he and his ex hadn’t announced it yet, but he had people asking what had happened. He wasn’t really to ready to talk about it yet, nor was it anyone’s fucking business. He just happened to glance up as he saw Dani walk on set. The black spandex suit they had her in was hugging her curves and made her breasts prominent. He couldn’t pull his eyes away or stop the erection growing in his suit. She’s young enough to be your kid… 

Filming had wrapped for Dani for the day and she had gone back to her trailer to de-compress for a while after getting out of her costume. After being around Hugh all day in that suit and how it hugged all the right parts of his body, she needed to get away and fast. She pulled up the internet and searched his name. His filmography as well as his theater accolades popped up immediately, followed by his personal life. It said he had been married to a fellow actor for more than two decades and they had two kids. Her heart sank at reading that, but was happy to see a man in Hollywood stay loyal to his wife. 

At that new revelation, she grabbed her bag to leave and go back to the condo they had her staying at during filming. She put her headphones in and Push Me Over by Maren Morris began to play. Some of the lyrics being very prominent of how she had felt all day on set with Hugh. She began to hum then started singing out loud, closing the trailer door behind her and not paying attention to her surroundings. As she turned to leave, she ran into a body. It took a minute to register who it was, but when she saw the yellow and blue, her heart began to race. 

“Um, hi,” Dani said, embarrassed. 

“Hi darlin’,” Hugh answered. “You leaving for the day?” She nodded her head yes, taking her headphones out and putting them in her bag. 

“Yeah. Thought I’d go back to my condo, order some food and binge watch some tv. What about you? What are you doing at my trailer?” 

“Damn, are you always this questioning?” he asked, his eyebrow raising. Dani mentally added that to the on-going list of hot things this man did. 

“I was just asking a question,” she replied sarcastically. 

“I was going to tell you how great of a job you did today.” 

“Thank you?” she questioned. “I guess you haven’t seen my great background work prior?” The smartass smile on her face, making Hugh turned on as hell. 

“Damn sweetheart, you are a smartass. Didn’t your parents teach you to be nice?” 

“Not to strangers,” she smirked. 

“How about we fix that? Want to grab coffee sometime?” Hugh asked. Before she had a chance to register what her mind was thinking, she said it out loud. 

“No offense, but aren’t you married? I don’t want any headlines about me being a homewrecker.” That comment took him aback just by the look that came across his face. 

He closed the space between them and looked around before he spoke. “I’m actually divorced. It was finalized last week, but I haven’t told a lot of people. So, no sweetheart, I’m not married.” She felt like someone had sucked all the air from around them and they were outside. His face was inches from her’s and god did she want this man to kiss her. 

“Well, um,” she felt like she forgot how to speak. “I’m sorry. I know I don’t really know you, but if you do want to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen. I’ve got to get going though.” 

“I’m going to hold you to that sweetheart,” he replied, his words sending shivers down her spine. 

After getting out of his costume, Hugh got back to his flat, throwing his stuff on the table. He wasn’t sure what the fuck had happened today, but he had been ready to fuck Dani into next week. He grabbed the bottle of Whiskey from the cabinet and poured himself a glass, replaying what had happened. Sure he had had eyes for only his wife for the past 27 years and had done countless love scenes with other co-stars, but there was something about Dani that made him want to break all the rules, especially the one where she was the director’s niece. He downed the whiskey and let the burn flood him as he closed his eyes, thinking about Dani. 

She had been semi right when she told Hugh, she wanted to go back to her condo and eat and binge tv. The food part had been right, but after their little conversation outside her trailer, she found herself using her vibrator to get her off while thinking about Hugh. How she wanted his muscular arms to wrap around her while he made love to her or fucked her into next week. Honestly, she didn’t have a preference. The more she thought about him, the quicker it got her high and soon she was reaching her orgasm. How the fuck was she supposed to stay away from him?

[i984]

Sweet Words Make a Lovely Shade | Part 1

|Pairing|: Wednesday Addams x gender neutral reader.

|Warnings|: Ooc! Wednesday Addams, mentions of gore, Wednesday being uncharacteristically tame, reader likes to test boundaries, Wednesday gives bone-breaking hugs, no beta; we die like my brain cells.

|Summary|: You test your luck by putting Wednesday Addams in a compliment jail. 

|Word count|: 2.7k words

|A/n|: I ended up not changing a thing. I took some liberty with your request 💡anon, hope you still enjoy it! | Part 2 is available in my masterlist.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Love  

It does wonders for a person. 

And for you? Well, it makes you spew the utmost revolting, foolish, and absurd things out of your mouth—Wednesday's words, not yours. You think it's her way of saying she likes the compliments you practically shower her with. 

At first, you didn't even realize you were doing it. You could be sitting next to the raven-haired girl in class, having some lunch together, reading books in the library, or on your occasional walks around town, and you only have one single recurring thought that you can't seem to get out of your mind; 

Wednesday Addams—your precious sadistic little girlfriend—is so pretty.  

And not to be shallow or anything; after all, you like her for many different things. Her intelligence, wittiness, and her I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. Her obsession with everything macabre, the monochromic-colored outfits that perfectly suit her, and the way she uses words you can't even begin to comprehend half the time. 

But then there's the way her hair has that lustrous glow, and then the rare grin she cracks when it's just the two of you, the constant little pout in her lips, and don't even start about her plump dark burgundy lips; Oh, you wanna kiss her-  

"-so bad," you mumbled out absent-mindedly, and Wednesday slowly looked up from her double cap—mouth gaping slightly at the suddenness of your words—her eyes blinking rapidly at you.  

"Oh- no no no I was just thinking and I got distracted because your lips look SO pretty!" Your voice was louder than you had intended for it to be, and you quickly covered your mouth—a pointless act as the slip-up had already been done. 

Wednesday only spared you a sharp glare before standing up from your shared sofa booth, already heading towards the Cafe entrance. Before you can even explain yourself, she had already bolted out, leaving you and her double cap behind. 

You know that Wednesday is not big on PDAs; soft kisses and gentle touches are reserved for private quarters. And even then, you can tell that her moves are calculated—afraid of doing too much that she'd find herself in a compromising position. 

But you didn't miss the darkening of her freckle-painted cheeks as she snuck a peek at your figure from outside Weathervane, and that's when you realized; 

Oh.  

Well, this is gonna be fun. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You walk to your dorm room with a dopey grin on your face, recounting the things that happened earlier.  

You've figured it all out. Wednesday might act like she isn't affected by other people's words and opinions about her—and in most cases, this is true—except when it comes from you.  

She caught you wearing a hoodie of hers? Now you have three more in your closet. You respond a beat late to some disputable thing she mentions? She immediately apologized for being insensitive and asked your take on the subject. You told her that she looked good in that checkered sweater? Now she wears the piece of garment all the time. Ask her to binge-watch all 10 seasons of My Little Pony with you? It would give her nightmares for weeks, yes, but absolutely.  

You quickly realize that you're one of the few people lucky enough to have Wednesday tolerate you to a certain degree. So you do the obvious—run after Wednesday after leaving some money on the table, and then shout at the top of your lungs, "I LIKE YOUR LIPS WEDNESDAY ADDAMS"  

You swear to God, you've never seen someone bolt out of your view so quickly. She didn't even spare a single disapproving glance at you—on normal occasions she would—but now, as people stop in their tracks to see who your words are pointed to, she's gone, nowhere to be seen.  

It's cute, how much she's affected by your words. And that's why, as you open your dorm room door, you walk straight to your thinking desk past a figure, planning to come up with new ways to fluster your girlfriend. 

Wait. Past a figure? 

You turn your head to see Wednesday Addams standing still, looking daggers at you, and you know things are about to go down.  

You smile coyly at her while taking a seat. The raven-haired girl's gaze trails your every movement. She looks almost predatory in this state. Like she's about to tear you apart to shreds. 

You hold your head high as you speak, "Is something wrong, Wens?" A pet name. You've heard Wednesday made it clear time and time again to Enid that she was against pet names. And you've never called her one before. But you're willing to gamble your life this time just to see how far she would tolerate you. 

So you maintain your perfect facade, and it was all worth it as you see Wednesday's eyes widen at the morbidity of your words—the good kind, you'd assume—and you saw her mouth open and close a couple of times, trying to say something deprecating and failing acutely.  

She stands awkwardly like that for a moment; her hands making little gestures as if she was trying to make a point while maintaining her look of utter disbelief at your behavior. 

You figured if you didn't egg on her a little more, she wouldn't let her guard down, so you decided to turn your back on her and pulled out a book to read. 

"What are you doing?" You can hear the stress in her words. You can picture her look right now; her jaw clenched, teeth gritted, brows furrowed in dismay. 

"I'm reading a book, as you can see with those pretty brown eyes of yours." You flipped a few pages, eyes tracing along the shape of letters and words, not really paying any mind to the actual content. 

"All right then," exasperation is evident in her voice, and you have to fight yourself from snickering at the situation. 

You've always been very careful around Wednesday, trying not to agitate her into giving you snarky comments—she still gives them nonetheless, and you find it amusing as time goes by—but curiously, she's not giving you any at the moment. And if you are to guess, it's probably because she physically can't bash you for your words. Not when she's fighting for her life with feelings she refuses to acknowledge most of the time. 

You hear her footsteps grow distant—she's heading for the door, you figured—and you don't even bother to look up as you say, "Come back soon, tesoro,"  

The sound of footsteps ceased. 

"Are you really going to keep doing this?" You can tell by Wednesday's voice that she is trying so hard not to burst at your display—you were never like this after all—from rage or the compliments, you don't know. But you figure you'll find out if you pick the right words. 

"Keep doing what, Wens?" You spin in your chair to her, your voice dripping with honey, with faux innocence. You can see her face turn colors into one of carnation, her lips thinning into a line as she tears her gaze apart from you. 

"You. Know. What." Wednesday strains every word, her tone is low as if to intimidate you, but you know the ball is in your court. 

"What? Telling you how pretty your lips are? In front of a lot of people? 

"Yes, exactly-" 

"And that I wanna kiss those lips of yours so badly? Dark plump lips like yours are my favorite, by the way," you look at her in the eyes as you speak, and you let your gaze trail down her face, and Wednesday fidgets with the hem of her top. 

"Oh wait, actually, you are my favorite." 

Wednesday glares at you—an act that usually works with Enid and everyone else when she wants to avoid certain conversations—but you are unfazed. You have her exactly where you want right now, and judging by the absence of a knife in her hand, you're going to assume that she's more than okay with what you're doing.  

"But wait. Oh. Is this about the fact that I know you blushed so hard when I complimented you? Every single time, did you notice that?" You stood up from your seat, throwing the book atop your desk.  

"I know you like it, Wens," you smirked, the nickname easily sliding out your tongue the more you said it, "I know you like me."  

"Oh, you are so full of yourself-" 

"You know what else I like? The way your pout grows bigger—as we're speaking right now, yes," and you see her face growing a scowl as you take a step closer towards her, "and now you're clenching your jaw slightly, god, you look so cute doing that."  

"I do not look cute, and if you cut my words off-" 

"Do you know that your micro facial expressions are probably the most adorable thing I ever get to witness?" 

"-again, I will cut your tongue and force-feed it to you."  

You ignore your girlfriend's words, continuing the torture you've devised for her. "No, not probably. Definitely the most adorable thing ever."  

A broad grin sprouted on your face, the one Wednesday always calls 'the idiotic grin' but you know she secretly likes it, and you can't be happier right now. You're experiencing a power trip; adrenaline rushing through you to continue your teasing despite the possibility of being mute in the future. 

"And that? Right there. Just now. The way you just announce dangerous threats? And sometimes about people's demise? Now, that is attractive."  

Wednesday decided that she's had enough of your antics. Her hand reaches for the doorknob, and you trail after her out of your dormitory. 

"Do not follow me," Wednesday hushed, and you walk beside her trying to catch up as she seems to speed up her pace.  

"I'm not following you, we just happen to be walking in the same direction- Oh, hi Bianca!" You see the girl waving back at you as you both walk through the quad; Wednesday did not acknowledge Bianca's presence as usual. 

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. Remember when you totally beat the shit out of Bianca in that oral test last week? That is also incredibly attractive."  

Wednesday seemed to pay no mind as you continued your horrible strings of compliments, except for the fact that she's practically running through the corridors right now, embarrassed of being caught blushing by any of her peers. 

You know that at this point, you're threading a thin line between her turning into putty at your words or her leading you to a grave site, ready to smash your head with a rock once you get there. 

Well, she's heading towards Ophelia Hall now, so it's safe to say you won't be visiting the realms of the dead today. 

"It would be wise for you to quit whatever skulduggery you're doing if you don't want me to slice your head off at fencing class-," 

You raise your hand in mock defeat at her words, and you can see Wednesday's knuckles turn white in a fist as she continued her words, "-which will start in a couple of hours. So, leave me-" 

"Oh yeah, that got me thinking of how good you look when fencing. I mean, there's a reason why I never ever spar with you during class."  

"Yes, and it is your remarkable ineptitude in the sport." 

You shoot her a look of false hurt at her words, "How dare you- Well. I mean yes, but also have you seen yourself?" You speak out of breath, your legs slowly catching up with Wednesday's pace.  

"Yes, of course. I've been staring at a mirror in the middle of my sparring," Wednesday rolls her eyes at you, "and that's why I've been on a losing-" at this, you can see Wednesday practically seethe in anger as she chokes the word out, "-streak against Bianca Barclay."  

"No, silly, it's because I would be in complete awe," you decided not to comment further on the sore issue, opting to clear out the tension with—yes you guessed it—more compliments.  

"I mean, the all-black outfit? Your menacing strikes and your calculated steps, not to mention your disheveled hair and the concentrated look on your face?" You clasp your hand in front of your chest, eyes looking up dreamily at the memory, while the girl beside you scoffed in irritation. 

You're now at Ophelia Hall, and Wednesday continues her brisk walk toward her shared dorm room. You don't have much time left if you want to break her composed demeanor. 

"And yes, if I sparred with you, the exact situation you mentioned earlier would've happened. My head sliced off the very first second into the spar." 

"And I'd assume you wouldn't want that. So don't make me do it." 

"Quite the contrary, I wouldn't mind. I bet dying by such skillful hands would be an amazing experience." 

You can see the door now. Wednesday knows this as well. If she gets inside and locks you out, maybe you'll shut up and spare her from the torture that makes her gut feel like it's ripping her apart from the inside. 

"What do you think of adding my head as a mount on your room's wall? I'm sure Thing would appreciate the addition of another dismembered body part in the room." 

If Wednesday wasn't agitated before, she definitely is now. As she opens the door to her dorm room and turns her body to you, you can see that not only are her cheeks of blossoming color, the tips of her nose and ears are as well! It's as if this is the first time blood has rushed to her face, and you'd argue that she looks dangerously magnificent like this; face sneering but eyes unable to maintain eye contact with you. 

She spared you only a short pointed glare, before closing the door to your face. You can hear her voice ring moments later, "Stop pestering me on my writing time or I will take you up on that offer. If you decide to omit my warning, make sure you say something adequate, as I will personally make sure it will be written on your gravestone as your last words."  

Her threats have never felt so empty, not with her obviously shaky voice—not when you know she's staring at her typing paper blankly right now, unable to type a single word as you can't hear any clacking sound of the machine's keys. 

The gears in your mind turn at an insane speed, and with the bravado only you possess, you belt your next words for the whole dormitory to hear,  

"I AM CRAZY FOR YOU, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS!" 

There was only silence. Then, you hear the rapid clickety-clack of your girlfriend's shoes, and you jump backward when Wednesday yanked the door open. 

This is it, you thought.  

You had been too cocky, thinking that you could get away with harassing the raven-haired girl—if compliments can be considered harassment, that is—and now you're going to pay the price. In the most gruesome way imaginable, if you know anything about your girlfriend. 

Wednesday storms at you, and before you can even try to escape, you feel her arms wrapped strongly around your figure in a death grip. She's about to tackle you to death, and you brace yourself for the upcoming impact- 

-that never comes? Her arms just stay there, her head buried against your chest, and you are at a loss for words. 

It's unfair, how easily she makes you feel flustered. You've been trying to get a reaction out of her all this time, and she barely cracks. But now as she hugs you, you practically melt into her embrace; your mischievous agenda is long forgotten. 

When you regain your senses, you take a breath— about to comment on the situation before she cuts you off with a; 

"Shut up. I hate you."  

You smirk at her words before sighing in contentment, eyes closing as you soak in the rare moment, "I love you too." 

"But I will never shut up about this- OW-" 

Wednesday left you rolling on the floor in pain after landing a punch in your guts. 

"Now, you will."

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

day 2: party - @lautski-week

get it.,, like a..,,.,,, dnd party.,.,.,..,,

i straight up gasped when i realized i could use this as an excuse to talk about my lautski dnd au, so, if ur interested im gonna go feral about it below the cut:

steph: half-elven fighter

solomon lauter is a deeply corrupt, incredibly magical high elven king whose maintained his rule through intense dealings with the pantheon of the lords in black

he married a human woman at some point in his rule and he does love her, at first, just not as much as his power

so when the lords in black make him promise to sacrifice her in the name of some deal, he's sort of upset but... obviously he's gonna do it, she was gonna die before him anyway, it's not like it's a huge deal to let her die a little early, his subjects will think it was a squishy human life span thing, bada bing bada boom, hands clean of the whole affair

BUT.... then his wife gets pregnant and has a Stephanie... which kinda fucks shit up because said Stephanie is still fucking there after his wife has been sacrificed

he hates her, partially because she's a half-elf and partially because of what she represents, and she hates him, which results in her having very few boundaries because he doesn't want to deal with her

she's still a princess, and she's surrounded by high elves who think she's stupid and inferior because she's only a half elf and she has very little magical prowess, so it's not exactly ideal circumstances even with her extra freedoms

so she learns to punch things

because if people are dicks she can't outwit them but she can deck them

eventually the lords in black offer another trade with her dad where he can trade her for extra magic, but mostly it's just a test to prove his loyalty and he is honestly more than happy to get rid of her

except steph gets wind of it (because she's generally close with the kind of people who fucking hate the king/don't get treated with enough respect for people to not gossip around them) and she runs the fuck away

so now she's being chased down by her father who is facing pressure from the libs for not making the sacrifice, all the while experiencing actual respect and freedom for the first time from her party members

pete: teifling warlock-wizard multiclass

so you know that post thats like it's ethically ambiguous but you can hand off any cursed object to a baby? that's pete's whole thing in this kind of

ted, his full human older brother, was a intentional patron of tinky, who hadn't really thought it through and tried to get out of it by making a stupid promise and really just ended up dooming himself and his unborn brother (he felt really bad about it before he disappeared under mysterious circumstances, tho)

pete was born with a warlock pact to tinky (which was pretty obvious when his full human parents created a bright yellow teifling baby)

he hates tinky and is very uncomfortable and upset by the whole thing, so he multi classed into wizard shit when he was, like, eleven

tinky actively attempts to prevent him from gaining levels in wizard

he lies about being only a wizard and has spent years coming up for excuses about why a lot of his 'wizard spells' are very specifically warlock ones if someone asks (literally no one has ever noticed or questioned it)

because he was born with the pact bond tinky's hold over him is way stronger, and if he really submits (when shit gets super bad) tinky can take over his body and puppet him into doing some fucked up violent shit

he is truly treated like SHIT for being a teifling in his home town and it really minimizes a lot of his academic prospects, even though he's so smart, so part of the reason why he's traveling with his party is to try and find a real wizarding academy that will take him

(and one that can maybe help break his pact with tinky)

Bonus:

Ruth: human rouge who desperately wants to be a bard, but she's too nervous to perform and ironically, tragically hiding the fuck out in the shadows comes a lot easier

Richie: firbolg artificer -- he's pretty bad with the magical aspects of anything, but he builds a lot of cool ass machinery to make up for it (even if, god, hes SO upset by how bad he is at magic)

Grace: High Elven Cleric who WILL become a fucked up little warlock to the lords in black eventually (she is from steph's kingdom and followed her when she ran away to 'protect her'. Steph has been trying to shake her this whole time)

[tarotomorrows]

WE GOT THE OG 5 IN THE HOUSE!!! This is part of my Inside Out punk au. Their band name is Harmony! So let me introduce their roles and how they came to be. PART 2

Our 3rd member is Fear! He joined Joy and Sadness’s clique way back in their 7th grade year.

He is the only band member who didn’t join already knowing how to play an instrument. In fact he actually started at the artist and would often make designs for the band’s potential logo and was very keen on staying out of any potential limelight. Although during the 8th grade talent show Joy and Sadness needed someone to play the guitar as Joy was planning to do some acrobatics/dancing choreography while singing and didn’t have the stamina to play and sing at the same time. Fear knew how much this meant to the two and had seen them practice for weeks and with only 2 weeks left he pushed his own fears aside and offered to learn the chords to the song to help the duo out. In the end he liked playing so much that he continued even after the show and with enough practice later on joined as the 3rd member.

During their time on the tour Joy forced them all into. He was the first to deny and the most out of it while on the trip. In fact he it got so bad it would interfere with playing which would upset Joy and the others but as time passed on it only seemed to bother Joy in the end.

He missed home and he didn’t ask for this but didn’t want to start conflict so in an act of desperation to feel heard he confided in Sadness about his true thoughts on the matter which sparked the ignition for Sadness to really have a talk with Joy about the stakes this whole music career dream has gotten them into. Once it was announced by Joy that they would be returning home he was ecstatic he didn’t care why he was just glad they were. Right? I mean what does it matter if the reasons are known…

Next is Anger he’s the teams killer drummer and owner/designated driver of Bing Bong! (The giant mini van the crew uses to travel in, who Joy named Bing Bong because of the silly sound the horn makes).

He was the fourth to be recruited to the team. After getting sent to detention for one of her senior pranks Joy met Anger in detention where she over heard the accidental killer rhythm he had going with his shoe and pencil tapping. Joy asked if he played he gave a simple eyes roll, which was good enough for Joy. She begged him to join and he proposed she couldn’t do anything in the world that would make him join her crazy idea. In the end Joy proved him wrong by breaking both if them out of detention and also returning the item he had stolen from him that he fought trying to get back (the whole reason which got him into detention his drumsticks). Reluctantly out of the honor system and due to a possible charming face he caved and became the band’s official drummer.

He may or may not have had issues with the whole unorganized and possibly dangerous on the road tour trip but he had faith in Joy’s judgement and the strength and bonds of the rest of the group. However the more and more the trip dragged on the more and more he started to realize just how far apart they actually were…

Last but certainly not least is Disgust! Although not a band member she is still an important asset of the crew as their manager. She handles finances,bookings, and how their brand is presented and NO, She will not be dressing in rags (aka how she refers to the punk/alt aesthetic) but she will deck herself out in her own uptown style.

She was the last to join the crew. Although friends with everyone since sophomore year she never partook in any of their “rough housings” she called it. She never saw the appeal in getting all sweaty and lugging around heaving metal equipment but one day Joy asked for her help to organize the flyers for the show they were doing for the Senior Festival.

Getting to talk about how amazing her friends were and how she’s affiliated with them and getting to look pretty while doing it. Now that was something she could do not to mention managing the funds for new equipment and getting to style them with awesome costumes for when they started doing shows outside of school. She loved everything about it the generosity, hanging out with friends, and the popularity…

During the trip she was the second to snapping, Fear obviously was the first. During the trip she did her best to manage the finances with the best odds she could, it started off alright but of course later on their lack of funds lead to more cramped nights sleeping in the van. It came to a point where she started to up-sale some of their merchandise in hopes of allowing the everyone to eat a full meal or have enough gas. After the fateful night Fear confided with Sadness, Disgust, overhead their conversation and grew livid, she could live with Joy’s delusions but blind ignorance towards other people’s own well being was not on the table. She swore that night that if Joy couldn’t see that this was beyond hopeless she was gonna knock her around and make her see it. That fateful evening when dinnertime arrived Disgust did more than just expose Joy’s selfishness but also how morally and emotionally taxing this dream of hers has been on all of them and what she’s had to resort to doing to meet ends meet for everyone. In the end Joy stormed off which is what prompted Sadness to have that heart to heart later on in the night.

In the morning after Joy announced about them going back to Anderson Falls a huge relief was lifted off their chest. Well some relief she still felt horrible about how Joy had treated them. However she wasn’t going to apologize for what she said to her, you don’t say sorry not for being right at least. So she vowed that until Joy owned up to her mistakes back home they’d keep the pleasantries to a minimum and distance herself as far as she could. It’s not like she had to try very hard as Joy had already began to stop talking or listening to her. Which is fine she can wait till Joy’s ready to be a grown up, she can patient I mean that’s all she’s ever given anyone. She can keep waiting, it doesn’t matter how long it takes…

[taylorswiftsapplesauce]

okay very new to being an Arcane fan… binged the show like a week ago for the first time and OH MY GOD ??? All of this season 2 stuff is actually breaking my heart. I just want everyone to be happy and heal GODDAMN. Jinx and Vi (appearing to) give up on each other is killing me. (From descriptions of the Annecy clips) Vi spiraling downwards after a bad caitvi breakup?! WHAT. Cait come get your girl please she deserves to be taken care of.

I’m actually so terrified and I have been here for five seconds.

also like… what are the implications of CaitVi breakup like… does Caitlyn ultimately side with the enforcers after Vi gives up on them… cuz like that goes against her arc and doesn’t make sense with her newfound understandings of the undercity and the things Vi has shown her. I knowwwww I’m speculating but I will be so upset if this is the case.

[littlelillycatsworld]

weight loss breakdown (for once not a mental one impressive ik)

as promised heres my weight loss breakdown. I have awful brain fog words aren't working properly (using any and all brain power on English rn) and it's a bit all over the place please be patient with me I have most definitely forgotten some stuff I'll update when I remember

this is not healthy this is what works for me I know the limits of my body you are your own person please look after yourself and don't compare yourself to me. I'm a professional ballerina and ex-taekwondow artist

please be polite don't leave unsolicited advice if I need or want it I'll ask and right now I DONT.

I'm not suggesting that anyone should attempt to fallow this since this is actually insane

DRINKS

I drink lemon honey water or tea for breakfast most days depending on how much calorie dread I have (does that make sense?)

I will only allow myself to drink water, tea or diet coke/zero or ultra monster throughout the day

MEALS

OMAD when possible budget is 900 I rarely ever make it close to my budget

I'll only intentionally eat dinner unless forced otherwise. I must burn off whatever I can from dinner since I don't have classes that late

some days it's completely unavoidable and I have to eat snacks due to outside pressure like friends and family or my manager (he's apparently hell bent on keeping my ass alive)

binges happen we (I) acknowledge them we (me) move

if I feel faint when In class nothing matters I WILL eat I cannot run the risk of hurting myself or my dance partner when it's him who will be the one who makes sure i dont hit the ground

META DAYS

meta days are important please take them!

I must allow myself 2 grace days a week and I try to be gentle with myself. (essentially I'm gentle parenting myself on these days)

I try not to fall into my normal over the top exercise routine since I still haven't figured out how to make these days my bitch

my cal budget is normally around 1400 for these days

EXERCISE

I must do 10k steps at least (normally much closer to 25k)

I start every day off with a mile run sometimes 2 (depending on how much I want to not exist and weather conditions)

i go to the gym at my dorm when weather conditions are bad or it's to cold for me I run on the treadmill it's not as mentally stimulating as outside but I don't like the rain ice or wind too much

i can be expected to be dancing for 8-9hrs on my longest day so for the most part I don't need to worry too much about forcing myself to burn calories but it gives me peace of mind I burn an estimated 4500cal these days (impossible to know for sure since 2 teachers don't allow activity trackers)

around 3000 on my normal days but again 2 teachers are a pain In my ass

I play just dance religiously at this point it takes me 2hrs to burn 500 I do this after dinner or twice a day on the weekends where possible.

I still practice taekwondo and go to a studio to do classes once a week but it's not as extreme as it used to be (no longer training 6 days a week and doing competitions)

WEIGHING

I weigh myself most days

I don't weigh myself during my meta days I don't need the added mental stress

I get weighed by my school once a week but only update my profile if there is a big difference either up or down (accountability and all that)

FASTS

I normally do 24hr since omad

I don't count my medication, gum, diet coke/zero tea or lemon honey water as breaking my fast. if this keeps me mentally stable then idk it doesn't count (politely eat a brick if you try to tell me otherwise)

I always try to get at least one longer fast a week normally after dinner on wednesday to Friday dinner sometimes I can make it to Saturday dinner it just depends on who's around to make me eat

if your wondering how I've survived this far all I can say is I'm a spiteful little bitch who's going to prove a whole list of people wrong

[lyrakanefanatic]

Tig character hcs except this time it’s not their kids and just them!!

- I just KNOW the hawthornes made vines, and then Nash would have to be the one to edit and record them all 💀💀

- max used to make taylor swift music videos and then have her brother record them (yes, she has a brother that’s mentioned like once in the first book 💀💀)

- Avery is taller than libby by like 🤏 much

- Jameson “hates” cats but pets every cat he sees

- Libby used to make baking tutorials when she was 12

- Xander met maxs parents once and then was traumatized by them ever since (he’s scared of them)

- grayson has a 7 step skincare routine

- Xander once tried to surprise tackle nash but accidentally gave him a concussion so he was banned from doing that for a couple months 💀

- avery and Jameson have movie marathons that consists of eating Libby’s desserts and binge watching classics (or horror movies)

- grayson has a light blue skincare fridge

- when xander was little he tried to smuggle candy so he could eat it late at night and then they got maggots living in his room after that 💀

- Tobias was soooo mad

- libby has fed more cupcakes than she would like to admit to tiramisu

- thea used to have “fashion runway shows” in her bedroom, which meant wearing 748248 different pieces of clothes ontop of one another, and somehow managed to convince little xander to do it with her

- he still has the photos to haunt him to this day

- Grayson will NEVER EVER EVERRR admit it, but he likes rom coms. So sometimes, when it’s late at night and everybody else is asleep, he will binge watch a romcom or two. It’s his guilty pleasure and as much as he pretends to hate them and gaslights himself into thinking they’re cringe, he still loves them

- Rebecca never really got much attention from her mother, but sometimes Tobias would spend the day with her and show her cool puzzles. She would always look forward to those days, as it’s the one time she doesn’t have to worry about pleasing Emily (💔)

- Nash definitely had a girlfriend when he was 13 and when they broke up he started wearing all black and turned emo for two weeks. When his little brothers started catching on and asking Tobias what happened, he would just say “nash is going through a phase 😇”

- before Jameson learned Latin, he learned all the bad words and then started saying them to EVERYBODY (Tobias shut it down pretty quickly, but then they had to actually learn Latin so there wasn’t much Tobias could really do about it 💀)

- max almost died once because she decided to go ham on the pills that her parents had on the top cabinets

- Avery watched every single chipmunks movie about a million times because her mom used to think they were HILARIOUS

- when Gigi was little, she was sooo clumsy and would break everything, so it got to a point where even when Savannah would accidentally break a vase or something gigi would still get the blame for it 💀

- Grayson chased Jameson around the house with a knife once

- when they were little the Hawthornes would take April fools sooo seriously, which meant multiple things exploding, whipped cream being thrown in peoples faces, and just so much more chaos

- xander was a slime kid when he was little. He would have sooo much slime and would be constantly making it, and he also tried to do those “making slime without glue” things 💀

- when Avery was born and Libby saw her as a baby, she was so happy and was crying because she’s always wanted a little sister 💖💖:(

- max had a dream one time where Xander cheated on her so she called him crying at 2:54 AM while being half asleep and shouting about how he could do this to her

- she hung up not long after that and went back to sleep, but when she woke up she realized it was a dream (she still gets made fun of for it by xander to this day)

- xander asks libby if she can make him blueberry and lemon scones because they’re “better when she makes it” 🫶🫶

- when Rebecca and Xander were little, they tried storing WILD ANIMALS under xanders bed because they wanted a zoo 💀

- one of the animals ate through the walls, so that’s how Tobias found out

Okay I think that’s all!!! Lmk if u want me to do more, bc it’s actually rlly fun lmao

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 6: Missing Someone

From: Bigger Houses Series

Pairing: Mountain Ranger! Ari x Reader

Summary: It’s time to tell all and talk about each other’s pasts

Word Count: 2,417

Content/Warnings: ANGST, kissing, use of pet names, no-good exs, crying and near-crying, miscommunication but it’s resolved

Author’s Note: I was gonna make it bad, but then I realized, it’s not like this couple to have a huge blowout fight and misunderstanding. They’re too good at talking it out.

Shoutout to my childhood friend I visited last week for helping me write this. He won’t read it, but I appreciate him indulging my thought process. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo welcome and appreciated!!

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Below is the song which inspired this chapter. It makes me very sad tbh. I skip it a lot when listening.

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You and Ari were going to build a new dresser in your bedroom. It had been nearly six months of being together officially. Your old furniture was breaking down already, so the two of you had gone shopping. Ari insisted he was just going so that he could provide his truck for hauling it, but you knew that wasn’t the case when he turned down the first three you liked.

“No, that one won’t match the wood grains of your cabin.”

“What’s the material on that one? Pressed composite? No good.”

“Sure Duchess, that one could work…if you’re blind.”

You rolled your eyes at that last one,

holding back a laugh. Sure, those were valid reasons, but any minor criticism was something you took personally. He didn’t even live with you! Finally, you’d gotten him to agree to a nice, subtle piece that complemented your bed frame without clashing against the rest of the cabin. The only issue was, you had to build it.

Once the two of you had gotten home from the furniture store, you were exhausted. Not only from the shopping, but from long drive since you had to go to the nearest city with hopes of finding anything good.

After eating dinner, you and Ari settled on the couch together, cuddling to catch up on the show you two were binging at the moment. Sure, you usually preferred to do things away from screens, but sometimes, there was nothing that could replace classic, trashy TV. The dresser could wait. Ari was laying on his back and you were laying directly on top of him, ear over his steady heartbeat until you drifted to sleep.

You began to stir awake and stretch when you realized the TV wasn’t playing anymore. Strong hands stroked your back and your eyelids fluttered open. Your sleepy pupils sparkled and dilated as you moved your chin to Ari’s chest to see him looking down at you the same way, him not even realizing the way he smiled when you were within this eye sight.

“Well good morning handsome.” Your voice was full of sleep.

“Good morning.” Ari leaned forward to kiss your nose as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Looks like it really is morning. 2:47 am.”

You hummed in response. “I think we kinda threw off our sleep schedule with what was supposed to be a nap.”

Ari nodded and laughed. “Oh definitely. But now we’ve got all this time to be productive. You wanna build that dresser?”

You groaned and threw your head into his chest, smushing it your nose and mouth. “Yeah, I guess so.”

You groaned and sighed before your muffled voice came out against his pecs again. “Lemme go pee first.”

You pushed off of Ari’s chest, causing him to exhale most of the air in his lungs with a laugh before he watched you scurry to the bathroom.

Ari got up and walked toward your room to get started on the dresser while he waited for you. Just as he sat on the floor straddling the instructions and some spare parts, he heard a buzzing coming from the nightstand, lighting up your dim bedroom.

“Duchess, your phone is ringing.” He yelled out the bedroom door.

“You can get it. I’ll be out soon. It could be important since they’re calling this time of night.” He heard your faint response.

With a groan, Ari stood up again and took the few large strides towards your nightstand, picking up the phone off the charger. The number wasn’t saved.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is that you? I miss you s’much. You should come over.” A man slurred from the other side of the line.

Ari was confused. He knew the area code of the phone number wasn’t from around here, but who was this man and why was he calling at this hour?

“Who is this?” Ari gritted out the words. He was beginning to feel something. There was anger, there was frustration. He was hurt that this seemed like something that was kept from him. The man on the other side of the line continued to call out your name.

“It’s me. It’s Oscar. Where are you? My bed’s cold.”

That got Ari. It hit him where it hurts and he felt a pang in his chest. He hung up the phone and stalked over to the bathroom where you were washing your hands as his hands shook. You hadn’t looked up yet.

“Hey Bear, was it anything important?” You were met with silence, only Ari’s heavy breathing and the sound of running water filling the air. When he finally spoke up, you could hear a near-growl in his voice.

“Who is Oscar?” Your head darted up and your wide eyes met his through the mirror. You shut off the water, dried your hands, and turned around.

“He’s no one. No one that we should be concerned about, anyway. Why did he call?”

You could see the worry on Ari’s brow and the tears that threatened to fill his reddening eyes. “He said his bed was cold. He misses you. Is there something I don’t know?”

You broke your gaze with Ari, looking at your shifting feet on the cool floor while you fiddled with your fingertips. You took a deep breath and a step towards Ari, surprised by him taking a step back. He’d been hurt before and he didn’t need it coming from you, too. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his distance.

“Oscar is my ex. I should’ve known it would be him calling at this hour.” Ari’s look of hurt took on even more emotion; it was his turn to be confused.

“So he calls you often at this time of night? When I’m not around? And you don’t tell me? Do you always pick it up?”

You shook your head, reaching out to Ari, glad that this time he let your set your hands on his waist.

“No.” You whispered back, your watery gaze meeting his. “I know you and I have been a little private with our pasts, but I think it’s time we tell each other everything.”

Ari nodded as you followed him to the couch. A place where you two had just had your bodies pressed together found you sitting on opposite ends, your legs criss-crossed in front of you and Ari’s long legs out to the side. You weren’t touching at all as you pulled a pillow up against your chest for comfort and took a deep breath, preparing to start.

You told Ari everything. All about the relationship. The expectations, the lies, the late night phone calls, the broken promises, the new girl after the breakup. He nodded along, keeping a mostly level face, although he maintained a mild layer of disgust. How could someone so awful keep you for so long? You were too good for Oscar. Heck, Ari thought to himself, you were too good for him, too. But he would spend the rest of his life becoming better for you if he had to.

As Ari was taking it all in, you continued on. “Mostly during the relationship, but even for a few months after, he would still call me late at night. It’s been over a year since the last time. I honestly thought he would’ve forgotten all about me by now. I don’t have his contact saved anymore. Something must’ve happened, though. But it’s not my problem. He was always whiskey drunk and saying he missed me, just like this time, but I knew that wasn’t the case.”

You looked up at Ari. He seemed like he was beginning to understand. “When we were dating, I fell for it. I fell for all the sweet, yearning things he would say, and I’d come over. We’d dance down the hallway and fall into his bed. We’d lay there and talk, well, it was almost always him doing the talking and lying until the sun came up. I really lost my voice over that whole thing.”

Ari felt such deep sadness for you. His favorite thing was when you would talk passionately about something random or speak your mind against the popular opinion. To hear that someone took that away, someone didn’t appreciate you and your amazing qualities, made him want to scream. His jaw clenched and he kept his silence, grateful for the full insight on your life. If Ari ever met Oscar, well, who knows what would happen to that punk?

Your voice began to break as you sniffled. “I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me, or break my heart, but I felt used. Like I was a late night lonely drug. I know he thought he loved me, and he would say that I was all he wanted, but I think he just wanted someone. At one point, I wished that I was that one he wanted, but I think a part of me always knew I wasn’t.”

Ari had crept closer again over the duration of your story. He pulled you in tight to his chest and rubbed your back as you wept, tears staining his old t-shirt. He had no idea how someone so awful could bring down someone so amazing, so angelic. You were everything. The sun rose and and set on you for Ari.

He pulled away and set his eyes deeply on yours, his hands holding your fingers. “I’m so sorry, Angel. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You deserve the world. Anyone who can’t see that was never worthy to even be in your presence.” He kissed your forehead and your eyes gently closed at the gesture as a soft smile graced your face again at his true, genuine sweetness.

“You are the world. You’re my world, and I’m going to spend as long as I have to so you can see how much you mean to me. Every day, I’m going to do everything I can to give you the love you deserve. To show you just how much I really, truly, honestly love you.”

You sat there, mouth agape in shock. There it was. That was the first time either of you had dared to say the L-word to each other. It wasn’t haphazardly thrown out there as a last-ditch effort to stay. It wasn’t overused and thin. It was heavy, it was intentional, and it was true. It carried such a weight to it, but your were sure Ari wouldn’t have dropped it had he not meant the word with his whole soul.

You felt it too, though. That was the part that astounded you. There was no other person who you believed could ever hold a place so fitting for the word love. There was only Ari.

“I love you, too.” You spoke firmly, gazing into his bright blue eyes, lit up extra from his beaming smile. His hand moved up to your cheek and he leaned in for a kiss. His soft lips met yours as your tongues danced together. There was no greed, no rush. Just love.

When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads against each other. You sighed and giggled. “While I’m out here being honest. I feel like there’s something else I should tell you.”

Ari’s head tilted to the side, confused on what other bombshell you could be hiding. The truth was, you had never been completely forthright with your thoughts.

“Did I do something to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me before?” You could hear the wavering in his tone. After such a vulnerable moment, what else could be coming?

“No, no, that’s not at all what’s going on. It’s just…ugh….” You were beginning to grow frustrated with yourself. There was so much you kept locked inside as a result of how Oscar hurt you. You were elated it was coming out for Ari to see. He deserved to know every side of you, but words were hard to formulate in the right way.

“I’m sorry. I want to communicate more openly with you. But it’s scary. I thought when you found out about everything with Oscar, you’d judge me for it. You’d look at me differently.” He shook his head, about to speak up before you cut him off.

“I want to be able to explain it all fully. I should’ve told you all this sooner. I knew once I gave you everything, it would lock me in. It would have solidified everything in a way we can’t come back from. You knowing all the details of my life. I didn’t want it to blow up, because I knew if it did, I would never recover. If I’m being honest, I was so scared to give it all over to you because I’ll never get it back.”

Ari’s blew out a puff of air, processing your words. He simply nodded, allowing you to finish. He completely understood where you were coming from. To trust someone so deeply again after pain like that was the scariest thing he could think of, and he was going through it, too. He was just glad you did trust him. Because he’d give you everything you deserved and more in a heartbeat. The two of you weren’t locked in to anything bad at all, you were just securing yourselves in something you already knew.

After all the heaviness, you made an attempt to lighten the mood. “And, I think you should know, I’m completely capable of assembling a dresser by myself. There are just some times I ask you for help because I want to spend time with you. Not because I need it.”

You winked and Ari heartily laughed in response. “Is that also why you asked me if I needed help cooking dinner last week?”

It was your turn to laugh, throwing you head back before pulling it forward and shaking it back and forth. “No. Sometimes I offer help because I can’t stand to watch as you do something wrong.”

Ari playfully rolled his eyes and pulled you in close for one of his signature bear hugs. He spoke into your hair. “Well, I’m just happy you keep me around. And I’m always happy to do whatever, right by your side, like a true partner. I love you.”

You both inhaled each other’s scents deeply. “I love you, too.”

When you pulled away, Ari opened up and told you everything about his past, too.

Next >

Bonus A/N: reverence is rare and lies are plentiful

Series Taglist:

@patzammit

@hawkeyes-queen

@identity2212

[tgandc]

things i’ve learned in 14 years of ed life and need to remind myself every once and awhile: (really it’s been almost 18, but the most severe years were between the ages of 14-28)

1. don’t set a date to lose weight by. you’ll sabotage yourself. instead, set a goal weight, and a plan to meet that goal, and give yourself time to meet it.

2. don’t punish yourself for slipping and eating. you’re human. you need food to survive. you’re starving yourself. you’re going to break your fast one day. or “forget” you’re restricting one day because you saw something that looked sooo damn good and you ate it without even realizing. you’re going to go over your calorie limit once and awhile. you’re going to binge. it’s inevitable.

3. learn how to curb the binges. just cause you start, doesn’t mean it’s too late to stop. if you eat 100 calories, don’t turn it into 1000. you can burn off the extra 100-500cals way easier than 5000.

4. learn your triggers. avoid them.

5. just exercising doesn’t work well. just starving yourself doesn’t work well. you need to restrict AND work out. seriously. the results are in and i just lost 35lbs in 3 months. like my drs MA that weighed me saw the red line and exclamation mark that i’d lost 20% of my body weight in 3 months and she flipped out. my weight loss has slowed a little the last 2-3 weeks and it’s 100% because i stopped exercising as much when school started. i usually walk 3 miles every morning on the track after i drop my son off at daycare. it’s my lifeline. if i don’t walk the track every morning now i get super pissy, shit gets bad, and i either gain weight or plateau. restricting and working out work wayyyy better if you do them together.

6. drink water! i know everyone says this. but everyone says this for a reason. it keeps your tummy full so you eat less food, it helps flush everything out, it helps keep your digestive system running, it helps keep your face clear, it helps keep the headaches down, it helps you lose weight… water is just super good for you and you should drink it. but don’t drink too much. if you dilute your body too much, you can kill yourself. literally. if you drink too much water (e.g. 2-3 gallons in under an hour) you’ll die. so don’t drink that much. but, ya know… a gallon, or a gallon and a half spread out over a day is good.

7. allow yourself a treat every once and awhile. not a binge. not an unhealthy treat. it doesn’t even have to be a food treat. but give in once and awhile. get your nails done, take a fun class, make something, draw something, have an ice cream cone. do give yourself the opportunity to indulge in something. or else you become bitter and resentful.

8. once a week, up your calories by at least 200-500. it’ll kickstart your metabolism and you’ll lose weight faster. just don’t keep up the higher calorie count for more than ONE DAY or you’ll start gaining again. but one of those days every couple weeks is great to avoid a plateau.

9. when your clothes start getting really baggy, buy a smaller size. there’s nothing quite as rewarding as going from a large to a small. i just made the switch a few weeks ago and it’s amazing.

10. feel your b0ne3. rub your hands over your r1b3, your h1pb0n3s, your c0llarb0n3s look at your thigh gap.. get on tumblr, look at th1nsp0, it’ll keep you motivated.

11. take lots of pictures. it’s great to look back and see the progression from fat and gross to being skinny and beautiful 🥰

12. stay safe ♥️

all pics in this post are me ☺️

[jq37]

So, Jumanji by way of Last Action Hero. Ok, Never Stop Blowing Up. I'm in for the ride. They managed to put together a great table for this one. I'm delighted they got Rekha back in the Dome. It's exciting to see Alex Song-Xia again. Izzy is always a treat. I'll never say no to more Jacob Wysocki. And of course Ally and Ify are always strong performers. We're in for a good season.

What a crazy start! I'm so glad I watched Last Action Hero a few weeks ago in prep because those vibes are very apparent (in addition to Jumanji 2 of course, but I'd already seen that).

A quick rundown of everything going on:

Ally Beardsley as Russell Feeld as Jennifer Drips

INSANE swings from Ally right out the gate. I love that Izzy was both in character thirsting over Russell and out of character being like, "Pull it back." Also, I think they're the only one playing a girl movie character so that's interesting. This season is gonna be such a trip pronoun-wise. Wonder what direction Ally wants to go with that.

Ify Nwadiwe

as Wendell Morris as Vic Ethanol

I was STUNNED to hear Wendell's voice come out of Ify's body. I didn't know he had an Urkel-esque bone in his jacked as hell self. And I assumed that once the PCs turned to their MCs (movie characters) they'd use their MC voice but nope. It seems like he's still doing the Wendell voice which is wild. I love a sweet nerd so Wendell is one of my early faves for sure. Very much the vibes on the main character from Jumanji 2 turning into the Rock. Also, Vic Ethanol is my fave expy name.

Isabella Roland

as Paula Donvalson as Jack Manhattan

Izzy had, by far, my favorite movie bit with her and Brennan walking into that chicken bit which was golden. Sometimes a bit drags on too long but they drove that to the exact funniest point and then left it there. Chef's kiss, no notes. Very much looking forward to seeing this very tightly wound mom in this unhinged setting.

Rekha Shankar

as Usha Rao as G13

Something I really respect is building a character who is specifically bad at the main thing they have to do and a woman who barely has grasped the concept of phones having to be the hacker is so funny. Rekha, you've done it again. I didn't notice until it was pointed out on Twitter but one of the fave movies listed on her card is literally the first movie ever made (The Horse in Motion). And her immediate 1 when trying to do hacker stuff is a portent of more hilarity to come I'm sure. Love to have her back in the dome.

Alex Song-Xia

as Liv Skyler as Kingskin

Also, love to have Alex back in the dome! I loved them in Mentopolis and they picked such a fun dichotomy of characters to inhabit in a teen girl who's giving me Vanessa from In the Heights with a little compulsive shoplifting plus truly just Kingpin from Marvel. I found her really endearing and she was also one of my faves.

Jacob Wysocki

as Andy 'Dang' Litefoot as Greg Stocks

I'm not as familiar with Jacob as I think some others are but he matched the table's energy right away. I would think the aliens thing was a weird swing except that there's someone in one of my games who has a very similar deal (their PC not the actual person lol) so it's kind of like yeah, that's a normal thing for a PC to believe. Maybe it's because I just binged all of The Bear but he kind of reminds me of a more assertive Fak. And it's a very funny contrast to a suave James Bond-type (also, Stocks/Bond. Ha).

So it looks like we have Fast and Furious, Die Hard, and James Bond. Kingskin is Kingpin from Spiderman and maybe just repping mobster flicks in general. G13 also seems to be a generic hacker. And Jennifer Drips is a generic femme fatale.

I think it's interesting that everyone seems to be a protagonist except for Kingskin who is an obvious baddie (unless he comes from a Breaking Bad type world where it's bad guys all the way down and no real heroes).

Also, I'm curious about how they'll cross over with each other. In Last Action Hero, it was kind of implied that many action movie scenarios take place in a shared universe (which is why you had Arnold in the same police station as a talking cartoon cat and other archetypes waiting to get paired up with their wacky mismatched sidekicks). Could be something like that, but we'll see.

Anyway, yeah! I wasn't sure how this season was gonna look but I'm VERY down for it now that it's started. Oh! And the animatics???? Amazing! D20 just keeps outdoing itself!