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followedbyraven · 5 years ago

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About 15 years ago, from the very first episode, I got hooked up on a new tv show, “Supernatural”. It was amasing!

It was a kind of magic that: - grips you and doesn’t let go; - follows you and stays on your mind for hours; - walks side by side through the years, sometimes becoming your shadow, sometimes wandering so far away that what is left is only a glimpse on the horizon of life.

After being for many years a part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom and finding some kind of uneasy closure when Angel: the Series concluded I thought I swore the fandom life for good. I was young and somewhat naive, and didn’t understand the simple truth: once you step into this river - you will keep coming for more.

Initially following the road that the Winchester brothers took in the first three seasons I was what is called a general audience. Ok, a bit more, cause I’ve long ago lost count how many times I watched each and every episode of seasons 1-3 during just that period.

It was indeed MAGIC! Then came hellatus between 3rd and 4th seasons and I have to be honest, my interest in SPN was by that time slowly slipping away. I was incredibly busy at work, living life on the road, barely at home, working sometimes 14-16 hours a day, and loving every single moment of that. It was hard but I treasure memories of those times, despite terribly missing my husband, and comfort of home, and loved ones. Also it was almost impossible to keep up with SPN airing schedule. Not to mention that it was already some kind of miracle that I was almost religiously following SPN for three years. I do follow other TV shows but don’t get so attached. I love parings, OTPs, to write and read fanfiction, to admire the talent of fanart creators and ingeniousness of meta-writers... but it takes two to tango, in other words - I need an OTP to properly function in the fandom. I wasn’t into any of the brothers and was a strictly het!shipper; I used to write slash for friends as a gift or commission but wasn’t really interested in it. Plus I’m One Fandom at a time, one OTP at a time kind of shipper, I don’t multitask when it comes to fandom life. So yeah, for SPN I was a general audience for 3 years until an ruffled angel broke through the barn doors, got knifed in the heart as some kinky way of thanks for the save from Hell, flashed Dean some shadow wings and... It was amazing and it was awesome, and it was magic. Again. Just like that day I’ve watched SPN 1x01 for the very first time.

Jack is a baby of the family. I wasn’t sure about this character and was afraid that I wouldn’t like him. So much suspense was build around his first appearance, so much negativity. But I was worried for nothing. He is a sweetheart and a darling, great addition to the story and to the show, he can be soft, naive and uncertain, but also fierce and protective of people he sees as part of a family. I was a complete “feels, feels, so many feels” from the first episode he appeared in. I still have half of season 14 and the rest of season 15 to catch up, but so far I like what I see. Sam. I like Sam a lot and he means a lot to me and to a relationship I have with my brother. I may not often mention him but I treasure this character and admire him. I look at him for understanding, when me and my little brother, who is a head taller than me by now, can’t find a common ground. Sam taught me when I need to take a step back from heated discussion, evaluate my bro’s side of the argument once more, just simply understand and admit the very fact that some things I will never get, not really, not fully, but if this is his, my little brother’s, thing, I have to respect that and give him a much needed space. In the end it is his business, and his life, and it is he who has to live it and to have a control over it. Dean. I can’t get enough of Dean and I respect him. I’m not attracted to him, never was, just not my type, i guess, but to me he is that dear friend that gets it. Just simply GETS IT! He is an older brother just like I’m an older sister. And through the years, through the moments when I’m again and again completely baffled by my bro’s attics and can’t come with an appropriate response, one thought always comes to my mind: What would Dean do? So yeah, 15 years of “what would Dean do” and that character feels like one of my best friends and supporters. He gets it - the straggle between the instinct to protect and the need to let go, make own way, through mistakes and hardships. Ready to offer support but not choking my babybro with it.

Cas. I adore Castiel, simply adore him. He is my favourite after all. But what is more important, I get inspiration and that extra infusion of strength from this character. I got a gift of better understanding my brother from Sam, and a possible course of action, a kind of battle plan, from Dean, but Castiel helps me to be myself, to enjoy life even when all I want is to crumble and weep. From him I got: If he could do it, so can I. This is something unique, what I couldn’t receive from another human being, real or imagined, because I also often feel like an alien being. I don’t have a mental illness but I did experience a trauma when I was but a small child. And this kind of guano never fully goes away, never truly leaves mind. I lack a deeper understanding of a lot of simple things that many people take for granted, there are days when it feels like I don’t have a strength in me to step over the threshold into the street (but I still do it every day), and I still often stumble through the words to make a simple purchase at the supermarket (even after 10 years of going to the same store), and I feel disconnected from the world at large. I’m uncomfortable in the crowd and I’m that awkward weirdo at the party sitting al alone in the corner.

Don’t get me wrong, I live a normal and fulfilling live, you may meet me on the street, in the crowd, shopping, smiling and chatting with friends (smile on my lips and easy going attitude), driving car, stepping on the train, I may even live next to you or in the same city. And you’ll never guess that despite the fact that smile on my lips is real (I am happy to be in this world, be a part of it), there is pain in my shoulders because I can’t relax them, and I feel lightheaded, and the world is slightly spinning and blurry from an effort to simply do what comes so natural to a lot of others - just walk on the street, just live my life, just be in this world.

Many years ago I gave myself a promise: to get up everyday with a smile. No matter what, I always start my day with a smile. It’s a first thing I do when I open my eyes. Over the time it became a second nature. That little extra drop of good mood before morning tea comes automatically through no effort at all. During the day that small infusion of happiness may grow into a true joy or it may slowly fade away. And it’s that second scenario when I remember that if an alien being could do it - find inner strength to go on through high and low, to navigate the strange world of human beings... Well, I am human and simply because of my own nature, from the get go, I already have it much easier than him, this fictional character which slowly managed to mean so much to me.

Overshare much? Maybe. Actually, for sure. My apologies to all who is not comfortable with such kind of openness. I don’t feel that it is a right time and I am in the right mood to talk about my OTP, so I will leave it for another time when I have an urge to explode into a massive firework of feels and words.

But this is my tribute to Supernatural and to all people who brought these amazing, wonderful, beloved characters to life, gave them shape and form: the cast, the crew, the team of writers, everyone involved on every step of the road. 15 years, people! This is a big slice of my life, of anyone’s life. This is my thanks, and my love, and my gratitude. I’ve never been to convention, never met anyone of them and most likely never will, but I needed to give form to what I feel. Am I sad that SPN is almost over? Sure, I will cry a river when the final episode arrives! But I understand that everything eventually comes to an end. It was a beautiful run but I respect their decision and stand by it. And I already know what I want for Christmas or as a birthday gift when a full 15 (or is it 16 now with such a long corona-hiatus between already aired and still in production episodes?) season boxset hits the stores (Blue-Ray, pretty please, with as much extras and bonus materials as possible)

P.S. But you know whom I also want to thank and hug, and shower with love? All my fandom mates, known to me and total strangers, all those incredibly talented, wonderful, amazing people who write fanfiction, create art, express their love for the show through any possible creative outlet. No matter the stan, no matter the ship, over the years I’ve met truly great, kind, friendly and positive people in every wing of the fandom. YOU ARE AWESOME!

#Castiel #Destiel #Misha Collins #Cas!girl spn tribute #The all have a special place in my heart #SPN team free will

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ladyfawkes · 5 years ago

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In Honor of Eugene Fitzherbert Appreciation Week - An Extensive Fitzy Playlist [Part 5]

Part 5: The travel-based songs I include tend to have the theme of enjoying life on the road. Or sometimes not enjoying life on the road. Including these songs made sense for both the Flynn Rider aspect as well as the travel time they did for Rapunzel’s journey while following the black rocks during Season 2. I included a lot of friendship-based songs since Eugene learned how to be such a fantastic friend. I mean sure, he’s got stuff he needs to learn (who doesn’t though?? lol) but I am completely enamored of the idea that the former perpetual rogue, thief, and loner eventually becomes Corona’s best and most-beloved big bro/awesome uncle/father figure. P.S. Sorry for not posting this earlier, but tumblr decided to EAT everything I had been slaving away on and I just said “screw it” and decided to sleep on things and try again. So here we are.... =) Part 1: [For those new here] Over the past few months, I couldn’t help but notice that people have had difficulty fleshing out their playlists of Eugene-centric content. I am happy to tell you that when it comes to Eugene (and Flynn) that my playlist currently has over 10 hours of music….. I will give the playlist to you in parts (nobody wants to look through 150+ songs at once.) Fair warning – this playlist will include every possible iteration of Eugene’s life from beginning to projected end, including the time he went by Flynn Rider, both the early years and the later years. Sometimes it’s the chorus that I feel fits the character, sometimes it’s a particular lyric or two, as opposed to the entire song, sometimes it’s the overall tone/idea of a song, sometimes it’s the title. I tried to include songs of just about every era….from the 1950s to today, although many of them are cover versions. There’s a handful of slightly NSFW songs but that’s mostly for people with very delicate sensibilities. I will mark them. All of these tunes are listed on Spotify as of the posting of these blogs…

For Part 1, click here ; for Part 2 click here; for Part 3, click here, for Part 4, click here or search for hashtag “LadyFawkes Eugene Playlist” for all of the playlists so far…..

Part 5

1.) Miss Sunshine - R.I.O. 2.) Somebody Told Me [Josh Harris Radio Edit] - The Killers 3.) You Make My Dreams Come True - Hall & Oates 4.) Ready as I’ll Ever Be - RTA soundtrack 5.) Blue Monday - Orgy 6.) Dawn of a New Era - Epic Score 7.) Can’t Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon 8.) Desperado (2013 Remaster) - The Eagles 9.) Campfire - Tangled 2010 Sountrack 10.) Bridge Over Troubled Water - Hyannis Sound 11.) Hells Bells - AC/DC 12.) Apocalypse Please - Muse 13.) Sunflower | Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - Post Malone, Swae Lee 14.) You’ve Got a Friend in Me - Toy Story soundtrack 15.) More Than Words - Bailey Pelkman 16.) I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - Caleb Hyles 17.) Kingdom Celebration - Tangled 2010 soundtrack 18.) Solar Eclipses - Hollywood Principle & Dr. Awkward 19.) Happy Together - The Turtles 20.) Don’t Stop Believing - Jonathan Young & Caleb Hyles 21.) Joker and the Thief - Wolfmother 22.) Time is Running Out - Muse 23.) Moonlight Sonata (Epic Trailer Version) - Hidden Citizens @tangledbea @fishskiin @eugeneismyqueen

#Eugene appreciation week #ladyfawkes eugene playlist #character playlist #Tangled soundtrack #tangled the series soundtrack #rapunzel's tangled adveture #rapunzel's tangled adventure soundtrack #tangled

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