#beyond my love for heng (and surprise) that is

[pharawee]

I finally watched the Sign finale but there isn't even enough Chalothorn for me to gif 😭

[madeinjapan-thailand-blbambeyond]

MADE IN THAILAND

PATCHANON OUNSA-ARD

[Nickname: BILLY]

TANATAT PHANVIRIYAKOOL

[Nickname: BABE]

&

ASAVARID PINITKANJANAPUN

[Nickname: HENG]

[synqiri]

TODAY IS YESTERDAY'S TOMORROW.

in which dan heng falls in love with you, bit by bit, dawn after dawn.

PAIRING: dan heng x gn!reader

WARNINGS: none.

WORDCOUNT: 6.5K || CONTENT: slowburn, friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, mild canon divergence (i had to dilate the timeline a bit)

NOTES: this took. months. rmb to leave a comment or reblog 🫶🏻🫶🏻 and thank u sm to my pookiewookie ren @lowkeyren who helped beta/proofread ‼️‼️💗💗

dan heng expects little, stepping onto the astral express.

the redhead woman — who he now knows as himeko — is but two steps behind, and when he meets her gaze, she only smiles. he isn’t quite sure of what he thinks of her. there hasn’t been much of an impression to make, from their departure off that ipc spacecraft to his arrival on the express.

“take a seat wherever you want,” she tells him, gesturing around the parlour car. “i’ll go and fetch the others. i’m sure they’ll be glad to meet you.”

he doubts that somewhat, but does as she says. he picks the seat at one of the round tables, facing the glittering expanse that is the universe beyond the window. he wonders if the luofu is within any of the galaxies he is looking at too.

the train’s conductor greets him first, before himeko returns. it introduces itself as pom-pom, and if he is any surprised at the sight, he does well not to show it. 

“you must be the newest member of the crew,” a new voice pipes in. 

his gaze snaps up to you immediately. he hadn’t noticed you walking up to him, which is odd, for he is normally far more attentive than that. he sweeps his eyes over you quickly. you’re dressed plainly, and much more casually than anyone he’s come across thus far. your hair is done just as simply. there’s a grin on your face, suave and bright.

you offer him a hand. “himeko mentioned you’d be coming. call me [name].”

“my name is dan heng.”

he returns your handshake, and you seat yourself across him. 

“dan heng,” you repeat, deliberate and slow, as if you were testing the way his name rolls off your tongue. he feels your eyes on him just as his had been on you mere seconds before. “you have a nice name.”

glancing away, he speaks nothing in reply. what is he to say to that?

just then, himeko returns with a brunet man in tow, who introduces himself as welt yang. the greetings are kept brief, but now, he has acquainted himself with the entire astral express crew. together, everyone has lunch prepared specially by pom-pom themself.

when he is finished, you stand, and his gaze draws to you as you do.

“come with me,” you say, jerking a thumb toward the door on the other side of the parlour. “i’ll show you to your room.”

he stands, following suit. you decide to give him a tour of the express while you’re at it, walking him from one end of the train to the other. you have a way with words, he thinks, your silence never awkward and your chatter never grating.

“how long have you been a nameless?” he finds himself asking.

you hum, tilting your head slightly. “almost a year now, if i’m not wrong. before that, i spent about half a decade wandering the cosmos until himeko recruited me. what about you?”

he doesn’t quite know what to say. he had nowhere to go but the express, and he finds himself reluctant to tell you that.

at his complicated expression, you let out a low laugh. “you don’t have to answer that if you’re don’t want to. it’s all good — anyway, this is it. it’s a little bare now, but you’ll have time to decorate it as you please.”

sliding open the door, you reveal a simple, quaint bedroom specially prepared for him. it is not much different from a hotel room, but your words ring true. he’d have all the time in the universe to personalise it. that is, if he were to stay.

he shakes his head lightly. “there is no need. i’m only staying temporarily.”

“then, where else are you going to sleep?” you ask. raising a brow, the corners of your lips upturn just the slightest. “don’t tell me you’ll be sleeping in the archives?”

to your mild consternation, that is exactly where he chooses to sleep.

“are you sure you don’t want to use your bedroom?” you confirm with him for the nth time. 

it is not as bad as you assume it is, really. it is infinitely better than many of the places he has slept in.

“i’m sure,” he tells you. “it’s not worth the hassle.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

it is barely morning when dan heng steps out of the archives, bound for the kitchens. he hardly slept that night, only managing a fitful rest after hours of tossing and turning. the bed had been too soft, the silence too loud, and the calm too unnerving. it is… a lot to get used to.

he’d fix himself a simple breakfast before getting started on handling the data bank. that, is something he is looking forward to doing. 

as he walks by your bedroom, he realises your light is on, its glow shining through the crack under the door. he isn’t expecting anyone else awake at this hour, much less you.

your door slides open just before he passes.

“oh, it’s just you.” you smile, and it is beneath the light he can see the bags under your eyes. he hadn’t paid enough attention to notice them yesterday. you lick your lips, and your voice is slightly coarse as you speak. “good morning. did you sleep well?”

“probably about as well as you did,” he returns. 

you throw back your head and laugh, and he doesn't suppress the soft chuckle that leaves his lips either. shutting your bedroom door behind you, you decide to accompany him to the kitchens. he falls into step with you with ease.

“i never sleep well,” you tell him, combing your hair back with your fingers. “not anymore, at least.”

“do you have nightmares?” he asks tentatively.

you shake your head, waving your open palm in a so-so motion. “not really. maybe. one day, i just… couldn’t go to sleep anymore. you?”

he recalls all those nights on the rough, hard ground, chains around his limbs and a biting cold bone deep. any sleep he got had been stolen in slivers. after that, hopping from ship to ship, there hadn't been any chance for him to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. he nods. a good night’s rest was a luxury few seemed able to afford.

“the bed is… softer than i am accustomed to,” he finds himself admitting.

you let out a soft ah. “i know that feeling all too well.”

he goes silent then, and is thankful that you’re not one to pry. when the both of you arrive at the kitchens, he reaches for a loaf of bread. you put a hand on his arm before he can. he falters, glancing at you curiously.

“if you're not in a hurry, i can whip up something nicer to eat than just bread. i don't like to brag, but i’d say i cook pretty well.”

“it's alright. it’s nothing i’m unused to.” frankly, he’s had much worse. troubling you any further is simply unnecessary. “still, thank you. i appreciate the offer.”

you shrug with a crooked grin. “it’s your loss. at least toast the bread, won’t you?”

that, he can do. he even spreads jam over it.

days pass.

more and more mornings go by just the same, and the both of you fall into an easy routine. sometimes, the two of you talk and talk and talk until your coffee goes cold and his bread goes stale. sometimes, you don't exchange a word.

whatever the case, there is no doubt that you’ve become his friend.

he isn’t used to having friends. he isn't used to much of anything at all, really. he is stilted and awkward and stiff, and you are everything he is not — your grins come easy and your laughter rings carefree, your words charming and your movement fluid. it is obvious that whilst you are no older than he is, you have lived for far longer than he has. 

whatever the case, he cannot deny that he enjoys being your friend. 

“hey, we are friends, right?” you ask him one day, nursing a steaming mug of coffee in your hands. 

he dips his head. “i would presume so. why do you ask?”

“nothing, nothing. i was just checking.” you smile then, wide enough your teeth show and the corners of your eyes crinkle. subconsciously, he smiles too. just the slightest. “i haven't had a friend for a very long time now.”

neither has he.

—

the process of revisiting the route is not easy, mostly due to the numerous roadblocks caused by stellarons. sometimes, the crew encounters the huge monsters dan heng had defeated before. you are swift, quick on your feet and even quicker with your blade. he watches as the beast is eviscerated to bits.

“you fight well,” he compliments you, and wonders for how long you have been fighting.

“aw, thanks — you don’t do too bad yourself,” you say. 

he digresses. he had been careless, slipping too deep into the familiarity of a battle that he acted before he could think. yet that phantom memory was not his, and for that, he had almost been hurt. he can still feel the ghost of your touch on his wrist, from when you had pulled him out of an arrow’s path.

your voice draws him out of his thoughts then. “dan heng, watch this.”

grinning, you show off — tossing your daggers into the air, catching them with an elaborate twirl. after that, you sheath them as if nothing had ever happened at all. there’s something wild in your smile, vicious in your eyes. with the thrill of the fight still thrumming in your veins, you’ve never looked more alive.

noting the sweat that clings to your skin, he hands you a handkerchief before you resort to wiping it away with your sleeve. you take it, thanking him once more.

“i believe the entire area has been cleared. we should head back onto the express now.”

but you wave away his words, gaze trained on something behind him. “no, wait. not yet. what’s that?”

he turns, and all he sees is an enormous chunk of floating ice — encased in which is a living girl.

“you… truly do not remember a thing?”

the girl shakes her head, a frown marring her face. mr. yang had found a way to thaw the ice that enveloped her, and upon waking, a few major issues began to surface. namely, her amnesia.

“it’s all good,” you say kindly. “you’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. you can call me [name].”

she beams, accepting the offer, and with that, the crew gains another member. 

“thank you! your name is really pretty, did you know that? mine is —” the smile on her face freezes. she falters. “mine is… uh… hm, do you have the date?”

“march 7th,” you supply helpfully.

dan heng steals a glance at you, surprised. he wonders what planet that calender system comes from. the astral express uses the one mandated by the ipc, and he had been taught the one of the xianzhou alliance. not that he ever had the chance to use it.

“you still keep track of the date of your home planet?” he asks.

shrugging, you nod. “yeah. old habits die hard, i’m afraid.”

“i guess you all can call me march 7th for now,” she says brightly. “to commemorate the day i was reborn.”

you laugh. “that’s cool. then, march 7th it is.”

—

a new dawn begins.

the astral express has stationed itself on herta’s space station for the time being, to help with its repairs, and to stock up on supplies. the girl with a stellaron sealed within her body — stelle, as she had dubbed herself — wanders both the express and the station, living as if it were her first time alive.

you seem particularly fond of her, dan heng notes.

he is being swarmed by a group of researchers whilst stelle sits in a corner, with you patching up her wounds. she had been fighting off a swarm of monsters in the storage facility alone, and the two of you only found her after the battle was basically over. then, the crowd began to gather before the three of you could return to the express.

“you’re the guard of the express, right?”

“i am, yes.”

“that’s so cool!”

he wonders how things have taken this turn. for the entire duration of the conversation, the researchers have been focused on nothing else but him. it’s unnerving. he cannot fathom their goal in doing so.

his gaze finds you easily. he watches as stelle leans over, muttering something he does not catch into your ear. you laugh, whispering back, and it is when you raise your head that your eyes meet his. amused, you raise a brow. he can read the question in your eyes.

need help?

shaking his head minutely, he suppresses the urge to glance away, mildly embarrassed at having been caught staring. 

you shrug, mouthing. your loss.

someone else clears their throat, drawing his attention to him. a man, this time, who’s smile reminds him of yours.

“can i have your number?”

an arm slings around his shoulders then, before he can respond to the researcher’s request. he staggers slightly, and he can hear the murmured chuckle under your breath. he relaxes into it, almost instinctively.

oh, he thinks. it’s only you.

there’s a glint of mischief in your eyes, a wolfish grin tugging on your lips. you dip your head, murmuring something into his ear just as stelle had done to you earlier. what leaves your lips is an apology. but what for? he —

— you kiss him.

his ears ring. faintly, he can feel several pairs of eyes boring into him, into you, and into what seemed to be a lingering kiss. yet all he can wrap his mind around is the tip of your nose against his skin, your warm breath fanning over his cheek. it is not a kiss. it is not a kiss.

“sorry guys,” you declare, twirling back to face the group of researchers. they stare at you, stunned silent. you don’t mind a bit, your smile only brightening. “but he’s taken.”

disappointment ripples through the small crowd, and they disperse quickly after that.

sharply, he exhales. you release him from your hold hastily. stelle bursts into laughter. 

“i’m sorry,” you say quickly. “you just looked like you needed help, and that was the fastest way to get them off your back. are you alright?”

he turns to you, dazed, body taut as a bowstring. he doesn’t think he’ll be alright for the next few system days, at the very least. “i — i’m alright. thank you for the assistance. though your method was certainly rather… startling.”

“that’s definitely one word for it,” stelle adds in, wiping a tear from her eye.

you roll your eyes. “stop being dramatic. they would’ve literally never stopped badgering him if they knew he was single.”

“what do you mean?” he finds himself asking. that was what they had wanted?

“i heard the lot of them making bets earlier, about who’d be first to get your number,” you explain. harrumphing, you continue, “but it’s not that i don’t see why. you are good looking.” 

stelle grins. “tall, dark and mysterious?”

you choke out a laugh, giving her a high-five. “right.”

it is then he is glad that your attention is not on him at that very moment. he's bewildered and flustered all the same. good looking? tall, dark and mysterious…? the both of you might as well be speaking in riddles. offhandedly, he thinks that if it were up to him, you'd be the one more popular.

“anyway, let's head back to the express now. dan heng, you coming?”

he nods, following after you two steps behind. and even as you chatter with stelle, he can't seem to will away the memory of your face mere inches from his.

—

you have missed breakfast for the third time in a row and it is mildly distressing. 

for five months has he been a passenger of the express, part of the astral crew, and for five months has dan heng had breakfast with you. he’s sure of that. though most days were repetitive and his memory blurred together, the morning was always a vivid constant.

“do you… know where [name] is?” he asks march that day, when she enters the archives in search of a book to read. 

she lets out a soft hum, her head dipping to her side. “she's probably with stelle. they've grown really close recently! why?”

“just curious,” he replies, casually. “it is unusual for [name] to not already be up at this hour.”

march laughs. “you know lots about [name], huh? by the way, how long have you two known each other? are you close?”

“it's only been a few months. we are friends.”

the door slides open then, and your presence filters through the air. he can see the grin on your face before he even turns to look. you seem to have awoken mere minutes beforehand, hair mussed and eyes slightly droopy with sleep.

“just friends?” you say, pouting playfully. “i thought we were best friends, at the very least.”

he says nothing to that, and march can't seem to stifle a giggle. swiftly, she plucks a book off a shelf and scampers away. he meets your gaze then, and you raise an eyebrow in question.

“you missed breakfast,” he says simply.

wincing lightly, you bring a hand to the base of your neck, expression sheepish. “ah. ‘m sorry, i overslept.”

“it’s alright,” he reassures you, gaze following your figure as you glide further into the archives.  

you jerk a thumb at his makeshift bed. “mind if i sit?”

he doesn’t. he shakes his head in reply, and with one smooth, sweeping motion, you settle yourself onto it. you move with a comfortable fluidity, so much so he assumes you have long since grown accustomed to things as simple as this. pressing down on his mattress, you watch it gradually regain its shape. then, you fluff up his pillow.

“i can’t believe you live like this,” you grumble, shooting him a dirty look. “there’s a perfectly good room for you to use.”

he huffs. “this arrangement is only —”

“only temporary, yeah, yeah, i know.”

with that, the topic is dropped there, and you move onto something else. you’ve recently been busy gaming with stelle, you tell him, oftentimes late into the night. you’d play and play and play until the moon dipped and the sun rose, until the two of you would black out from sheer exhaustion.

“that… doesn’t sound very healthy,” dan heng comments, a faint frown marring his face. “you should adopt a more consistent sleep schedule.”

you laugh, waving his words away. with a soft fwump, your back hits his bed, your arms spread wide and tangled in his sheets. you meet his gaze with a lazy, half-quirked smile. “sure, i’ll try. but honestly? i’ve slept more in the past few days than i’ve slept in years.”  

he only sighs. “whatever you say.”

he decides to carry on with his work, to before he had been interrupted by march and then you. he seats himself at his desk whilst you lounge on his bed. at first, you watch as he pores over books and archives, adjusting, keying in new entries, but you soon grow bored of it and turn your attention towards your phone.

“not gonna lie, your mattress is more comfortable than i expected,” you say suddenly. “it’s soft.”

it is. he can’t help but let out a soft chuckle.  

hours pass. a comfortable sort of silence has blanketed the room, after the short bouts of chatter he’d share with you died down and the sounds your game emits turn to nothing but white noise. he isn’t used to having someone in the room with him as he works, nor is he accustomed to spending so much time with someone alone.

it isn’t bad, he muses.

dinnertime approaches. he sets his pen down, getting up from his seat as he does. turning to you, he finds himself setting eyes upon an unexpected sight. 

you’re fast asleep, body twisted into odd angles but asleep nonetheless. your phone lies against your cheek, and you’ve somehow kicked his blanket onto the floor. he doesn’t know whether to wake you or to leave you be.

he sighs. he supposes you’d need all the sleep you could get. 

picking up the blanket, he sets it over your figure gently, careful not to rouse you. he then leaves for the parlour carriage.

he bumps into stelle along the way.

“is [name] not having dinner today?” she asks. “weren’t they with you?”

dan heng shakes his head lightly in response. “[name] fell asleep. i decided against waking them up.”

she nods approvingly. “that’s good.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

dan heng’s steps are light as he leaves the grand goethe hotel, only slightly behind march and stelle. the air is crisp, the sunlight warm, and light breeze teases the ends of his hair. it will be a good day, he thinks, almost certain.

the crisis in belobog has just recently been resolved with the help of the astral express crew. now, there is little left to do but enjoy the celebrations and festivities. even you will be disembarking from the express and meeting them for lunch.

you hadn’t joined him on the expedition this time, opting to give stelle the chance to. it has been an odd few days without you around, he muses. he hadn’t realised just how used he had become to your presence until you were gone.

whatever the case, you’d be here soon, and that is all that matters for now.

“i can’t wait to see everyone again!” march says, grinning. she practically skips down the street, twirling and humming as she does. “it feels like it’s been ages since we last saw them.”

stelle voices out her agreement. then, she suggests introducing the rest of the crew to the friends they have made in belobog. “[name] would love clara.”

he can’t help but smile at that. you would.

“how was the mission?” you ask, casually, a smile on your face as you stir your drink with a straw. “the other two said they had fun. stelle even has a new set of powers now.” 

dan heng can’t quite say the same, but overall, it was definitely an interesting experience, and he tells you as much. very briefly, he recounts all the events that have occurred from the moment the trio set foot onto jarilo-iv to the moment cocolia had been defeated. you listen with a child-like curiosity, eyes sparkling and all. 

the both of you are seated at a table in the administrative district, chatting over food and drinks. march and stelle left earlier, claiming they wanted to speak with everyone once more, whilst himeko and mr yang had yet to disembark from the express. 

“damn,” you say, a tad mournfully. “i would’ve paid to have seen y’all go against cocolia.”

and that is precisely what he doesn’t understand. you’d have enjoyed the expedition as much as everyone else had, and the team certainly had room for one more, so why hadn’t you simply joined them?

it seems you read his silent question right off his expression, and you sigh, glancing away with a helpless sort of smile.

“it was kind of cowardly, i admit,” you utter lowly. you’re murmuring, yet the bustle of the city fades into nothing but white noise, and he can clear your words clear as crystal. “still, seeing jarilo-iv in that state… i couldn’t bear to step foot on it until i heard the stellaron was gone. the snow reminded me too much of home. or at least, what used to be home.”

“your home planet?” he clarifies. a slight frown tugs at his brows. it isn’t like you to look so sombre. it’s worrying.

you nod. “yeah. y’know, where i come from, there used to be this saying about impossible things that would only happen ‘when hell freezes over’. guess what? it did. within weeks, my home became nothing but a chunk of ice. of billions, probably only a few hundred escaped.”

his mind draws to a blank there. his lips part, but nothing comes out. what can he say to that? he sighs lightly, weary, akin to the sound of yours. “would… would it be insensitive to say i’m glad that it was you of all people who survived?”

a sharp huff of a laugh flits from your lips, and the expression on your face has brightened considerably. you smile, and he returns it almost unwittingly. 

“no, not at all,” you reply. “i’m glad i survived too. i wouldn’t have been able to meet you or the rest of the crew if i hadn’t. anyway, it’s all in the past now. i’m more or less over it.”

then, you’re leaning toward him, eyes sparkling once more. 

“what about you? what’s your origin story?”

“it’s… a lot,” he tells you truthfully. huffing, he averts his gaze, face strangely warm. “i’d rather not dwell on it. the day i left my homeworld, i left my past behind and haven’t looked back since.”

you let out an understanding hum, taking a sip of your drink. 

“of course. after all, you can’t have your past following you into your future.”

—

dan heng awakens with a jolt, a chill lapping at his spine and cold sweat prickling at his skin. his body aches, head leaden, the traces of a life long past ringing in his ears. it is the third night in a row he has not slept.

he doesn't bat an eye at the person shuffling around by his desk, for it can be no one but you. still, he is not one without shame, and mild embarrassment at having been caught in such an unseemly state tinges his cheeks.

“nightmare?” you ask, knowing and gentle and wry. “wanna talk about it? march says it helps, but i wouldn't say for sure.”

you're draped over his chair, head propped up by a hand. there are faint shadows under your eyes and books scattered carelessly across the desk, and he assumes you had spent the entire night before right there. he had been reading, he recalls, and you had been studying the data bank for any information it had on the xianzhou alliance.

that stellaron hunter, kafka… unthinkably, his past has caught up with him in the form of her visit. he hasn't been able to rest easy since. 

“nothing much, just… old memories,” he says. 

you let out a soft hum. “about the xianzhou alliance?”

he startles slightly. how did you…?

“you have a slight accent,” you explain, shrugging. “it’s cute. i had a few other guesses, of course, but your reaction to kafka confirmed it for me. anyway, i know you don't like talking about your past, so i wasn't gonna bring it up unless you did.”

he can't help but let out a soft, breathless laugh. what is he to say to that? it seems you know him better than he had thought. offhandedly, he wonders if he knows you just the same.

“will you go?” you ask. at his questioning glance, you elaborate. “to the luofu with the others. i’ll be going as well.”

he shakes his head, sighing near inaudibly. “i'll be staying on board the express this time. the luofu is a grand and beautiful ship that i barely had the chance to see but… i can never return.”

a beat of silence follows his statement, and for a second, he worries he may have said something odd. he glances at you, meeting your gaze, and you get up from your seat then, stretching as you do. offering him a hand that he accepts, you pull him up with an easy grin. 

“that’s good. you can keep me company while stelle and march are out.”

a faint smile flickers across his face at that, the slight tension in the room ebbing away. it wouldn't be very much different from how the both of you usually spent your days anywayy. 

true to your word, you don't mention a thing about the xianzhou alliance after that. he follows you to the kitchens to grab a bite of breakfast. it’s barely dawn, he realises, and in the stillness of the express, it seems as if the universe contained no one else but you.

“you hungry?” you ask, already pulling out ingredients from the fridge. “i’ll make something simple. i don’t think you’d have much of an appetite right now either way, huh?”

he takes a seat at the aisle, letting out a soft hum in reply. “alright, sounds good. thank you.”

“of course. anything for you.”

he glances away, out into the expanse of the galaxy, a odd sort of warmth blooming within him. he doesn’t recall ever having felt this way, but… he supposes it is not an unwelcome development. he can’t help but smile. 

“how is it?” you ask, hands interlaced together as you watch him expectantly. 

the half hour you took to prepare breakfast had been whiled away in an instant, with light conversation and comfortable silence. he takes a bite out of it, and he’s pleasantly surprised.

“it’s good.”

you beam, pleased, gently urging him to have more. “i knew you’d like it. i was on my own for years before i joined the express, y’know? eventually, i got sick of eating plain rice and whatnot, so i learnt to cook.”

he dips his head in acknowledgement. he had never been particularly picky with what he ate, for he never really had the chance to enjoy food. still, even he can tell that your cooking is more than stellar.

“you cook well,” he says. 

you laugh. “then, that settles it. i’ll make you something nicer next time.”

—

a new dawn begins. 

“you know, when you mentioned your past being ‘a lot’, i’d never expect it to be this.”

dan heng lets out a low, shuttered breath. everything had happened too quickly, and it was only one thing after another, then another, until his origins had been laid bare for all to see. it’s odd, he thinks. it’s uncomfortable and familiar just the same. his true form, his true strength, his true self. he wonders what you think of him now.

the situation on the luofu has concluded, but everyone is still reeling from the aftermath. march and stelle opted to stay at the seat of divine foresight with the general to tie up loose ends, whilst he and you decided to get going first. 

you walk in step with him through stargazer navalia, on the way to pick up a starskiff that would return you to the express. you huff. “stelle has new powers, and you regained your old ones — don’t tell me it’ll be march’s turn next?”

“she did mention she wished to pick up swordsmanship,” he offers. 

“she’ll look cute with a sword,” you say, the sound of a laugh on the tip of your tongue. then, you turn to him, and he can feel the weight of your gaze on his skin before he even meets your eye. “jokes aside though, you feeling alright?”

“i feel fine,” he confirms. “just… tired.”

you nod understandingly. “of course. it's been a few very, very long days. i feel like i could fall asleep right this second.”

the two of you reach the port, and come to a console that would summon a starskiff. he keys in the coordinates to the astral express for you. even then, he can feel your eyes on him, steady, and everburning. he can tell you have something to say.

“what is it?” he asks softly. 

your head dips to a side slightly, a tiny, glittering smile on your face. “is it bad i think you look even prettier now? like, don’t get me wrong, you've always been good looking — but this? it's just… wow.”

he flusters, an unbearable heat crawling up his nape and dusted on his cheeks. partly due to the fact you find him attractive, but more so the fact you always have. he can't quite believe it, but who are you to lie? your word has always been true. 

his lips part, but no words leave, and you tap the top of your head, then gesture to his. “mind if i touch?”

he shakes his head lightly. he doesn't. 

one of your hands reaches to cup his cheek, and he leans into it instinctually. your other hand tangles itself in his hair, near the base of his horns. when your fingers trail the length of his scales, he shudders.

“it's feels cold,” you comment, voice barely a murmur. “it's very pretty.”

with his head in your hands, he couldn't have avoided your gaze even if he tried. he looks up at you through heavy-lidded eyes, and seeing this, you only grin in return. perhaps it is his exhaustion, or perhaps it is merely wishful thinking, but your eyes sparkle with a warmth he chooses to mistake for affection.

“when you're ready… will you tell me about your past? i only caught bits and pieces earlier, and i’d much rather hear the full story from you.”

he dips his head in agreement. either way, there isn’t much left of the story left to tell, and even then, if anyone had to know, it would be you. 

the starskiff arrives then, and with that, the moment flickers away. 

you get into the ship first, and he's only a step behind you as you do. it's not very spacious, he notes, but it is good enough for two. 

“you can rest your eyes for awhile,” you tell him, patting the space on the seat next to you. “the express is still a few hours away.”

he smiles faintly. “don't mind if i do.”

dan heng doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he does remember waking up.

it's comfortable, he thinks, mind hazy, sleep still lapping at the edges of his consciousness. his head rests against something soft, his tail curled around something warm. a hand taps on his shoulder gently. 

“hey, it’s time to get up.”

reality clicks back into place in seconds. his tail unfurls itself from your waist, and you stretch, standing, offering him a hand that he accepts. 

“did you sleep well?” you ask, something knowing in your smile, a hint of a laugh in your eyes. “you looked so comfortable, i almost didn't have the heart to wake you.”

he doesn't recall ever sleeping so well before. he nods.

“i did.”

—

“psst. hey, dan heng,” march whispers to him, urgently. she glances around in an exaggerated motion of secrecy, then relaxes when she seems to have found nothing of concern. 

dan heng gives her an odd look. there is no need for her to whisper. in fact, her hushed tone of voice makes it difficult for him to make out against the hustle and bustle of aurum alley. the both of them were in charge of keeping track of the shipments that were coming and going, whilst you and stelle were off planning the cycrane's delivery routes. 

he asks, “what is it?”

“are you and [name] dating?”

the question bursts out of her near explosively, as if it had been bubbling within her for quite some time now. he startles slightly, never having expected something like that to come from her. 

“no, we aren't,” he tells her, brows drawn faintly. “where did you get that idea?”

“you aren't? but i thought…” her eyes are widened comically, and she has her hand brought up to her face to stifle a gasp. she huffs then, coming to her senses, placing her hands by her waist. “i was sure you liked each other. stelle thought so too. i mean — it's all there!”

he sighs, rolling his eyes, yet an odd, fluttering feeling rushes across his skin. a tiny dash of thrill, he suspects, and a little pinch of something more. he wonders if stelle is asking you the same right that second. he wonders what you'd respond. 

“you can ask [name] yourself,” he replies instead. 

she grumbles. “well, if you say so…”

“march asked if we were dating.”

the words leave dan heng's lips before his mind even has the time to catch up with them. he had been stewing over his conversation with march for the entire day. it had sent him reeling. now, all the work that had to be completed has finally been done and dusted, and he finally has time with you alone. as always, you have made yourself at home in the archives, feet on his desk and draped across his chair as if it were your very own. 

you turn to him, surprised, an eyebrow raised. you let out a startled laugh. “she did?”

“she also said stelle thought the same,” he confirms. 

out of sheer interest, you swivel yourself around to face him, cross-legged, hugging the chair's back. he sits himself down on his bed, and pretends not to notice your stare.

“so, what did you say?”

really, what else was he to say? he supposes he can understand where they were coming from. of everyone in the crew, you are the one he is closest to. you are the one he trusts the most, and you are the one that knows him the best. not only that, those facts extend both ways. with all that said, it really wasn't any surprise that they had jumped to conclusions. the both of you almost acted the part already. 

he shrugs, a tad awkwardly. “i told her that we weren't.”

“shame,” you say, a slight lilt in your tone. you pout. “not even a chance? you know, when stelle asked, i told her i wouldn't mind either way.”

you chuckle at the look on his face. “think about it. would it really change anything whether or not we do? other than the labels, of course, but just because we aren't dating doesn't mean i like you any less.”

no, he supposes. there wouldn't be much of a difference at all. he's never really thought about it that way. 

his relationship with you is… unique, in a sense. be it as a friend, lover, or companion, you've become such an irrevocable part of his life that any instance without you just felt off. and somehow, he had gone from merely living one day after another to dreaming of the next dawn with you. 

… he wonders just when had he fallen in love.

“if that is the case,” he starts slowly, “then… i'd rather be known as your lover too.”

your lover, he thinks, testing it out in his mind. though it may just mean all the same to you, he can’t help but find a soft comfort in that title. yours.

he shoots you a mildly dubious look. “do you even know what a relationship entails?”

“of course i do,” you declare, puffing up proudly. the grin on your face is as silly as it is radiant, and you blow him a big, fat kiss. “what else is there to do but make you happy?”

dan heng laughs, expecting little else. to be honest, you already do.

fin.

[aventurineswife]

“Both your hands in the hole of my sweater” | Part 2

Summary: While your partner was away on a work trip, you, as their beloved partner, spent the time knitting them a sweater. Upon their return, they’re met with the surprise of a handmade gift.

Tags: Dan Heng x Reader, Robin x Reader, Argenti x Reader, Topaz x Reader, Numby Fluff, Knitting Sweater for them, Domestic Fluff, Handmade Gifts, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Soft Moments, Fluff and Comfort, Found Family Vibes, Tender Moments, Gift Giving, Wholesome Fluff.

Part 1, Part 3

Dan Heng

You spent hours knitting a dark blue sweater for Dan Heng, mirroring the serene, star-streaked nights you both spent watching on the Astral Express. When he finally returned from his trip, he was tired and stoic as always, but his eyes softened at the sight of your gift.

“It’s… for me?” he asked, voice almost a whisper. His fingers brushed the yarn as if it might dissolve under his touch. A faint smile crept onto his usually impassive face. “Thank you.” he murmured, slipping it on over his usual tunic. It fit him perfectly, cozy yet just snug enough.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, he glanced at you and said, “I’ll wear it often. It reminds me of… home.” And for once, he seemed truly at peace, holding onto a warmth beyond the fabric.

Robin

You chose a soft, lilac-colored yarn, matching the hues of Robin’s cascading hair. As she entered the room upon her return, you presented her with the delicate sweater you’d knitted, woven with a gentle star pattern around the sleeves.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” she gasped, green eyes bright with genuine joy as she ran her fingers over the intricate stitches. She slipped it on, twirling gracefully, the fabric flowing in tune with her elegance.

“It feels like a comforting hug, a piece of home I can carry wherever I go.” she whispered. She then looked at you with a teary smile, touched beyond words. “I’ll treasure it always… and sing a song of gratitude just for you.”

Argenti

You chose a deep crimson for Argenti’s sweater, with golden accents reminiscent of his armor—warm, rich colors that represented both his valor and the beauty he saw in the world. When he returned, you offered it to him, suddenly unsure if he’d appreciate something so simple.

But Argenti’s reaction was instant and profound. He took the sweater from your hands with reverence, tracing each stitch as if it were a masterpiece. His eyes shone with admiration and something deeper, something devoted. “This… you made this?” His voice was soft, his usual confidence tempered by awe.

“Such dedication,” he whispered, studying the gentle waves and patterns in the fabric. “To think, each thread was woven by your hands… It holds a beauty unmatched by jewels or stars.” He slipped it over his armor, the fabric draping him like it had been crafted by divine hands. He looked down at it, then back at you, eyes filled with a rare vulnerability.

“You’ve taken the simplest of things—yarn and time—and turned them into something… extraordinary,” he murmured, as if still in disbelief. “Your love is in every fiber, every loop.” He placed his hand over his heart. “It’s not just a gift; it’s an embodiment of beauty, pure and true. I will wear it always, a reminder that true art is made with care, and beauty lives in all that we cherish.”

Stepping close, he took your hands in his. “Thank you, my love,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly. “In this, I see the beauty of our bond—a beauty I am worthy of, but one I vow to honor with all that I am.”

Topaz

For Topaz, you picked a rich, ruby-red yarn with accents of gold—a color as bold as her spirit. When she returned, you handed her the sweater without fanfare, but she gasped, eyes widening in surprised delight.

“You knitted this? For me?” she exclaimed, and she held it up to her chest as if imagining how it would feel. She quickly put it on, looking down with a satisfied smile. “Perfect fit.” she grinned.

“You’re really thoughtful, you know that?” she said with a chuckle, but her eyes sparkled with genuine appreciation. She gave you a light punch on the shoulder. “Guess this means I owe you one, huh?”

!BONUS!

Numby

You'd had a feeling Numby might be a little more difficult to knit for. They were small, always moving around Topaz’s side, eager and full of energy, sniffing out anything they thought held value. Still, you thought they deserved something cozy and sweet—a little sweater that would match Topaz’s.

When they finally noticed the tiny, bright red sweater you'd carefully made, Numby froze. At first, they sniffed at it cautiously, circling it as if trying to understand why you’d given them this odd little garment. You knelt down, coaxing them closer with a gentle hand. "Here, Numby, I made this just for you."

After a moment of contemplation, they gave a small, excited hop and nudged their head against your hand, as if in understanding. Gently, you slipped the sweater over them, adjusting it so the red bowtie around their neck still peeked out, like a cheerful splash of color against the new warmth.

Numby made a little trill, hopping in a tiny circle as they took in their new attire in curiosity and delight. They looked over at Topaz as if to say; Look what I have now!

You couldn't help but laugh as they bounced around happily, shaking with joy. For a creature that usually hunted treasure, Numby seemed to consider this simple sweater a rare and precious find, something even more valuable because it was given with care.

[cossiedxll]

"love you to the moon and to saturn"

| how they love you in their own special ways

| gepard landau x reader, dan heng x reader, blade x reader, kafka x reader, jing yuan x reader, luocha x reader

˓ ꒱ notes and disclaimers: reader and character are in an established relationship, reader is gender neutral. not proofread!!!

˓ ꒱ authors notes: im trying to write as much as i can here so that my account doesn't go stale if you know what i mean. these are kinda short so i apologise if you were expecting the scenarios to be longer :(

gepard landau ( 杰帕德 ) *◞

no matter how early he'd have to wake up for work, you'd always wake up to a freshly made breakfast. either on a plate on the dining table or in a lunch box with a little note stuck on it.

"sorry for having to leave so early, i made you this. remember to eat lunch while i'm gone. i love you." with a small, albeit rushed heart at the bottom of the note. if he has enough time he'll even make a smoothie for you!! using some of the fruits you two bought together while grocery shopping. he's always a little self conscious of his cooking so please be sure to let him know how good his cooking is!!

whenever he comes home late, he makes sure to greet you with a soft kiss before removing his armor, he'll always see you as his first priority even if he doesn't know how to say it, you can tell through his actions.

dan heng ( 丹恒 ) *◞

he pats your head whenever he's proud of you. he often doesn't know how to verbalise his emotions towards you, often overthinking about how you'll react to them. so he resorts to patting you on the head to tell you that you've done a good job and that he's proud of you.

his hand was slightly shaking as he reaches for your head, lightly carding his fingers through your hair. you look up at him to ask what's wrong but the faint blush on his cheeks tells you everything.

you turn around to fully face him to give him a kiss on his lips, the hand on your head slightly pushes you closer towards him. it's moments like these that his beyond thankful he's been able to find someone who understands him.

blade ( 刃 ) *◞

he patches you up whenever you get injured after missions. he doesn't trust anyone else to bandage you properly so he does it himself. he's uncharacteristically gentle with his hands, making sure to not wrap the bandages too tightly on your wounds.

few words need to be exchanged between you two but you know he cares deeply about you when the first thing he says to you when you come back from a mission is "come with me." as he gently takes hold of your wrist.

when he's all done with patching you up he takes a second to look at you before gently kissing your forehead. "stop being so careless, i don't like seeing you get hurt." he sighs as he pulls away.

kafka ( 卡芙卡 ) *◞

she kisses you before every mission. she keeps it a surprise every time too, kissing you on the cheek, forehead, the tip of your nose or your lips. it's her own way of saying "come back to me soon." with her gentle kisses. finding your expression adorable every time she decides to mix it up and surprise you.

she doesn't say anything as she hooks a finger under your chin, lips dangerously close to yours. her other arm snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to her as she places a gentle kiss to your lips. she pulls away with a smile, chuckling at your flustered state as she sends you off.

jing yuan ( 景元 ) *◞

he lets you rest your head on his shoulder as he works, sometimes humming along with the soft melodies that's playing on the record player. he always insists on you choosing the song for the day, even if he doesn't know the song, he's happy that you like it.

his fingers are carded through your hair, every now and then giving the top of your head a little scratch or a mini massage. when he gets tired of constantly having to focus and write out reports, he puts his pen down and leans his head on yours. the hand that was once holding the pen is now wrapped around your waist.

he nuzzles his head into your hair, just in time for his afternoon nap.

luocha ( 罗刹 ) *◞

he always manages to find the perfect little nick nacks for you, ranging from little pendants to jewellery. every piece of jewellery is tailored to fit your skin color. you always insist that it's too much and that you don't need him to keep bringing these to you but he does it anyways

he finds the smile on your face when he brings you something to be so adorable. the slight blush that dusts your cheeks adds to that factor too. if he brought you some rings to try on he'll personally slip them onto your fingers, kissing your hand when he's done.

notes and reblogs are heavily appreciated !!

[revserrayyu]

2.6 Penacony thoughts [part 2]

**Spoiler warning** for everything up until the end of Rappa’s flashbacks. I’ve already finished the story by now so just be mindful of that if I do mention something earlier than intended or anything that happens towards the very end if you haven’t completed everything yet.

Knowing now that this whole ninja idea is a big delusion inside her own head is kinda sad honestly. I would’ve been down to see an entire society with people just like her.. but nope.

It is so darn sweet how much Dan Heng cares about his Astral Express family, aaaaah. His voice sounded so tender too.

I may be stupid, but for the longest time I believed that there was only one Emanator for each path, which is why when I heard Dan Heng mention Dr. Primitive as one for Erudition I thought, nah, that’s Herta.. until I remembered the Arbiter Generals are all sorta blessed by Lan, so clearly there can be multiple Emanators, yea? Do correct me if I’m wrong on any account. I don’t delve too deep into Aeon lore often. Regardless, if what Dan Heng says is true (which I assume it is because he’s incredibly intelligent), then yeah, this doctor could be a problem.

I love and cherish every moment Rappa breaks out into a rap. I’m sure each one of her voice actors did wonderfully.

The speed at which I chose the swear option should be feared. I didn’t even bother reading the other choices and I don’t regret it one bit because each of these lines is beyond hilarious!

Looking back now and I noticed there was an option to get the Trailblazer to rap instead, which would of course impressed Rappa, but.. yeah, guess that’s something I’ll never hear.

I couldn’t help myself but choose the swears a third time because of how hard Rachael’s delivery and the constant *bana* censors had me completely dying of laughter. Boothill would be so proud of me.

Never once while watching all version’s trailers would I have ever imagined that all those monkeys running around would’ve actually been people.. oh dear. This patch when from silly to serious real quick.

I honestly was a bit surprised to hear Rappa talk without the usual ninja jargon. I’ve grown rather fond of it and her quirkiness by now. Just a shame it’s all mainly a result of the experiments she was put through.

Psycho. But I’ll give him a pass. It did amuse me how we in fact change scenes right after this.

Oh huzzah he’s not totally corrupt by siding with Profnana. He has some standards and I dig that for him.

I don’t know why but he gives me the tiniest Aventurine vibes here and the whole “unlike the house, the gambler knows exactly what they want,” quote comes to mind.. at least the part about Reca knowing his main goal and how he’ll do anything to achieve it perfectly.

This scene.. is doing things to me. I’m touched by how adorable young Boothill looks and yet I’m also trying my best to look respectfully at older Boothill’s.. um, everything. I don’t own our space cowboy so it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read his lore, but I thought his whole cyborg body transformation was done all at once, sorta like how it was depicted in his light cone instead of by pieces like this.. I dunno, maybe he was taken apart and put back together several times, but goddamn, he looks amazing. But are they saying there’s only ten years difference between these two versions of him? Talk about a glow up.

Thank aeons this patch exists and gives me all the Boothill action I originally hoped for when this man was first introduced. I still don’t think he did much in the main Penacony story, but he’s certainly making up for lost time now.

This. Him. Yup. That’s all.

I’ll be completely honest.. if Rappa was actually as serious as she appears here, I’d love her twice as much. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the goofball she normally is, but there’s just something about the look in her eyes and that no-nonsense vibe she’s giving off here that tickles my fancy so much more.

Not entirely sure if it’s a common trait for Memokeepers to be capable of teleporting people, but it’s definitely an interesting little trick. From Black Swan’s cards to Mr. Reca’s film reels, I wonder what other possible methods are out there. Oh, and goes without saying, but I hope he’s playable in the future.

The moment Rappa’s flashback begins inside a lab and other people were seen inside of tubes, I knew our girl wasn’t an ordinary person. I didn’t know if I should be upset or intrigued by this twist because it certainly wasn’t the kind of backstory I was expecting for her. I didn’t pull for her so I didn’t even think to read through her character stories, so all this came outta left field for me.

I did know that her E6 portrait shows the back of her neck and what I originally assumed to be a tattoo of three little dots, or even something like a curse mark, but hearing all this now has made it very clear that it ain’t no tattoo!

Bruh.. and we thought Rappa was the true weeb. Nah, it’s this dude. She’s only living in a Naruto themed delusion because this guy loves a manga too much.

Well, at least this all explains why her combat path is Erudition. Not gonna lie but I kinda love when there’s an actual valid reason behind a character’s path. Sure, it makes perfect sense why people like Gepard is Preservation and Feixiao being The Hunt, but someone like Jiaoqiu? A military healer whom isn’t Abundance? Yeah, we all questioned why but his past experiences with war and how that trauma changed him undoubtedly support his path of Nihility. Now we get Rappa who follows The Hunt due to being a Galaxy Ranger, but her combat path is Erudition because that’s exactly what she was created to be.

Well fudge, didn’t expect this dude to resort to such violence. That’s usually Boothill’s job.

Oohhh dear.. before we concern ourselves with the obvious, who even is this other Galaxy Ranger who showed up? You think we’re ever gonna meet them? And how long until this game finally allows someone to swear without any censors?? I eagerly await the day and still place my hopes on it being for Seele.

So, um.. yeah. I say those experiments were quite successful and Rappa is someone to be feared. She’s so unbothered by the dead bodies around her, but I guess after ten years of suffering, you just become numb to this kinda stuff. Thank aeons to whomever saved her and allowed her to join the Galaxy Ranger instead. Our girl definitely softened up since then.

And with all that troublesome backstory out of the way, I’ll leave the rest for one last post. Much less serious from here on out.

[outofthemouthsof]

15-Day BL Challenge in 1 Night!

I'm more of a lurker than a poster but Tumblr's my fave place to wallow in BLness. My 2nd favorite place is the spreadsheet where I track the shows I've watched (172 completed in just over a year), so @negrowhat 's challenge was irresistible. I'm gonna cram my answers in one post. Here goes!

Fave OG Actor Pairing: Some of the ones I think of as OG are only like 4 years old, so this was tough. And the 18 shows that have gotten my top score aren't very old. But I went through those 18 and picked the oldest, and it was the 2018 Korean microfilm Some More. Because it's so short it's super rewatchable, but even if I wasn't able to watch the whole thing a half dozen times (which I have), I'd still have gone back & watched the sweet moments and sex scene about 25 times (which I have). So I guess my fave OG actor pairing is Park Chan Ung and Kim Joon Bum! How they got me so deeply invested in their love in mere minutes is beyond me, but they did!

Fave Rookie Actor Pairing: Does Japan do the CP thing that Thailand does? I don't think so, but one couple I wish had about a dozen more BL series together lined up are Kouhei Higuchi and Atsuki Mashiko of My Personal Weatherman! Their chemistry was visceral and they're too pretty to be believed.

Side Dish That Should've Been the Main Course: While I enjoyed the main pairing a lot, they were nothing compared to the crazy rollercoaster side plot (how'd it go from so funny to SO dark to so sexy to so sweet and wholesome like that??) of Vegas/Pete from KinnPorsche!

Fave Ship Dynamic: Obvs from answers 2 & 3 I am not against D/s ships at ALL. Also a sucker for tough-but-submissive-bodyguard with mafia-brat-prince. Honestly I like tons of different dynamics from innocent to toxic, but one that gives me major butterflies is a guy who thinks he's straight but when confronted with the idea of liking another guy, doesn't have a macho freakout or run away, just kind of straightforwardly & sincerely searches his feelings until he figures it out. And then takes care of his baby. Why's that so HOT and sweet? Some of my fave examples: Pete/Ae in Love By Chance, Le Jian/Amber from DNA Says Love You, and Ida/Aoki from My Love Mix-Up!

Biggest Flop: This is expectations vs. execution, right? There's loads of shows I've abandoned, some I've stuck with for no good reason, etc., that are way worse than what I consider my personal biggest let-down. I was so enamored of Perth from LBC that I assumed he could do no wrong, and the bully-to-lover, rich/poor pairings often do it for me. So I guess I just assumed Dangerous Romance would be amazing, and it was REALLY good for a couple episodes. It wasn't the worst thing I ever saw, but so much of it just ... felt ... flat. Very surprising.

Fave Line From Your Fave Series: Well I know my fave series--Cherry Magic Thailand was the most perfect, entrancing, heartwarming series EVER, OMG, it was staggeringly good and stuck the landing in a way few shows have managed. I can't really think of one standout line--the script was so on point & there were HUNDREDS of sweet tingly moments. There were some epic ones in ep11 tho: When Achi says "The voice inside your head is so loud" and Karan (the boldest he's ever been) replies "Don't worry; soon you won't be able to read my mind anymore." (But then clearly uses that power one more time to gain the sweetest nonverbal consent EVER.) Then, Karan: "Do you regret losing your power?" Achi: "I'd regret not loving you." (OMG how I squealed.)

Fave Villain: This was so tough. An over-the-top villain I loved to hate (and an actor I loved from his sweetie-pie green-flag role in SCOY) was obvs Heng Asavarid as Chalothon in The Sign. But an actor who was so excellent at being loathsome and malicious toward the main couple, with just enough of a redemption arc that I didn't totally despise the character by the end (but did hate most of the way through): Park Hae In as Eun Ji (Jae Won's ex) in The Eighth Sense. It was a typical "faen fatale" role but so well done. So a tie between 2 totally different takes on the destructive ex.

The Trope You Hate Except When It's "This Series": OK, "hate" is a strong word for how I feel about the drop-of-rain-makes-you-ill so love-interest-takes-care-of-you trope. It's OK. But holy SHIT is it overused. Holy shit. I sigh resignedly when I realize we're going there. EXCEPT. When P'Phayu goes to visit Rain in Love in the Air when he's sick, and his version of caregiving? Forcibly applying medicine in the form of a rectal suppository. It is so funny, weirdly sexy, very in line with their dynamic (doesn't get in the way of their romance moments later at all), & it shoves a big middle finger up the overoveroverused sick-bed trope.

Most Visually Pleasing Love Scene: Okay, THE scene in The Sign is the clear winner in my & many people's books. But there are so many runners-up: the post-race one in Love in the Air. Just about every one in Pit Babe (both couples) & My Personal Weatherman. (A lot of other faves don't quite qualify as visually or emotionally pleasing--lustfully pleasing should be a 3rd category in this challenge!)

Most Emotionally Pleasing Love Scene: Again, I have a clear winner: Cherry Magic Thailand. So full of emotion, so well deserved, so everything. Sigh. But lots of runners-up: same scene in The Sign, both kissing scenes in DNA Says Love You (tame but soo emotionally satisfying), Ray & Sand's camper reunion in Only Friends, the post-prison love scenes for both couples in Kiseki: Dear to Me, the 1st time in I Feel You Linger in the Air ...

Breakup That Should've Stayed Broken Up: Maybe it's because I try to be choosy in what I watch all the way thru or maybe I'm a big softy who tends to root for every couple no matter how lame. In all my completed shows, I could only think of 2 breakups where I wasn't at all invested in them getting back together (and maybe against it): Tian/Poon, What Zabb Man and Top/Mew, Only Friends.

Wedding You Wish You Had an Invite To: If we're talking weddings that actually appeared in the show, Achi and Karan's in Cherry Magic Thailand, obvs! If it's hypothetical weddings, I'd be desperate to go to one of ANY of the characters in Playboyy! I'd wear a bulletproof vest & bring my own flask of booze, but it would be the trashy chaos-filled social event of a lifetime.

Give 5 Good Boys a Gold Star: Just 5? OK, some I haven't mentioned yet. 1. Shin Woo, Light on Me, 2. Palm, Never Let Me Go, 3. Mohk, Last Twilight, 4. Thun, He's Coming to Me, 5. Neua, Secret Crush on You. Best boys!

The Top 5 Most Sad Boys: I'll limit it to ones where the suffering was kinda pretty, not just painful. 1. Way, Pit Babe, 2. Akk, The Eclipse, 3. Kaipa/Gaipa, Moonlight Chicken, 4. Hae Bom, Cherry Blossoms After Winter, 5. Kiyoi, My Beautiful Man

Bestest Besties: Just one? Gah! Fine, Pearl & Gavreel in Gameboys. She got those boys together in quarantine!

[teaberrii]

Chapter 26: Where it Ends

You've been Cupid for as long as you can remember. You've brought countless soulmates together, yet you've never found love.

When you're assigned to bring two childhood friends back together, it should be simple until you unexpectedly catch feelings for the mysterious and cold Ph.D. student, Dan Heng, the man with a soulmate… the man with answers to your past.

Dan Heng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

“You should’ve come to me years ago with this proposal,” Jing Yuan said flatly. “I would’ve accepted it on the spot. But now, I think you're out of your mind."

Young’s eyes flashed in the dark. “You can’t hide your real identity forever, Jing Yuan. If Mother's plan goes through, whose side are you going to take? Will you expose Mother and her ugly lies? Or, will you continue living amongst the humans who cannot accept your real identity?"

Jing Yuan sucked in his teeth. "And what about you? You're the fucking heir to the Middle Kingdom. Don't tell me no one is going notice that you just suddenly vanished."

"...Which is why I plan to erase their memories."

"Erase their...?" Jing Yuan scoffed. "You're going to erase your existence? For a woman? Pathetic." When Young said nothing, Jing Yuan sighed. "I'll hear you out. Just make it fast."

Your body is slightly shaking. Young chose to die? You already hated your parents and society, but it was Young’s death that drove you over the edge. He had been your heart and soul, and he chose to die so you could continue living in the very society that robbed you of your happiness.

“That day…” you begin quietly. “You knew that your mother used a concealment spell. You knew that she thought Jing Yuan was going to kill me. You knew…” Your voice breaks as you say, “You were going to die.”

“...When the execution happened, it was supposed to trigger a spell to eventually wipe their memories of me.”

You take a small breath as you try to keep your mind sound. “And was that supposed to solve everything? You dying… Your mother believing I was dead… forgetting about you…" A pause. "No. When she tried to kill me, she remembered you.“

“That was not supposed to happen,” Young says quietly. “By then, the spell should already take effect, but I don't know what went wrong. The plan was to keep you alive… but also have Mother slowly let her hatred go.”

“That still doesn’t make sense!” You clench your fists. “You said she wanted to enslave the humans. Fine. But how was keeping me alive and forgetting about you supposed to stop that from happening?”

“Jing Yuan.”

“...Jing Yuan?”

“Jing Yuan came to the north to take revenge for what your parents did to his father. He and Mother share the same hatred. If Jing Yuan killed them, he could take control of the north. He’s also respected in the south.”

You scoff and look away. “He’d become the ruler of the Kingdoms. Is that it?”

Young puts his hands on your arms. “That’s why I needed his help. There would be no war. You would be ali—”

“I would be alive, yes,” you say through gritted teeth. “Jing Yuan eventually made my life a living hell. Even before you two came up with this little plan. I… I can’t—”

“Jing Yuan came to the north to kill your parents. But… because they’re your parents, he put off his plan.” Young briefly closes his eyes. “He fell in love with you.”

“Do you think I’m going to thank you?” There are tears in your eyes, and you clench your fists. “I loved you… I loved you so much that I cursed people. I bet you and Jing Yuan didn’t have that in your plans, did you? You thought I was just going to have a little heartbreak and then move on?" You glare at him. "Oh, wait. I guess I was supposed to forget about you, too."

Young wants to reach out to you but the sheer anger in your eyes tells him otherwise. “...What happened was beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It was not supposed to happen.”

“Well, I guess I’m just full of surprises, huh?” You take a small breath. “It’s too late to say this now. But, we should’ve fought. The war your mother wanted to happen… it should’ve happened. Then…” You can’t stop the tears from falling now. “...Perhaps we would’ve died together. That would’ve been the best outcome.” You aren’t looking at him anymore. “Did Jing Yuan know everything? About why you tied your soul to this locket?”

“...No. He never knew about any of the magic imbued in that locket.”

“Here’s another question. You asked Pom to put a protection spell on this locket. What was the point of that if you and Jing Yuan were working together in the first place?”

“This wasn’t something we were planning from the beginning. Jing Yuan and I were still enemies when I went to Pom.” Young slowly hugs you. “...I know you’re angry, and I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I—”

You close your eyes and exhale softly. “Do you know what I’m most upset about? You know… besides the whole oh-my-God-I-literally-cursed-people?” You pull away and give him a little, sad smile. “It’s that you didn’t confide in me. Whatever your mother was planning… She could've been planning to summon the God of Death or King of Hell, but I wished you could’ve talked to me instead of trying to protect me by yourself.”

The look in Young’s eyes tells you he understands. 

But, maybe this is also fate.

Suddenly, your phone buzzes with a message.

Pom: Found Caelus!! At hospital!!! Get chur butts ova here.

By the time you and Young arrive at the hospital, you see Jing Yuan sitting in a waiting area with a bloody bandage on his arm. When he sees you, he only nods at a door where you assume Caelus is.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“That’s what I’m wondering myself,” Jing Yuan mutters. Then, he sighs loudly. “I knew I shouldn’t have taken that damn shortcut today.” Upon noticing Young staring at him, Jing Yuan slightly narrows his eyes. “Is there something on my face?”

“...It’s been a long time."

Jing Yuan raises a brow. “Not long enough for you to be saying that. What’s—”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Jing Yuan slid a hand into his pocket as he stared at his half-naked brother who would be dead in the next couple of hours. “Do you know I’ve had dreams about killing you? But looking at you now…” Jing Yuan sighed. “I’ve been too into my head about hating you.”

"You say this now when I'm going to die."

Jing Yuan crossed his arms. "We love the same woman, but you're literally dying for her. I don't know if I could top that."

Young looked down and smiled. "...Hard to say."

"How did you find out? That we were related?"

"My father. If he didn't tell me his story about him and Mother, I probably would never have found out." 

“What made you ask? Something must’ve prompted you.”

Then, Young quietly said your name.

“Were you really stupid enough to say her name in front of your father?”

“I told him there was a girl I love so much that I want to marry her. But… due to circumstances, it’s impossible for us to be together.” Jing Yuan looked away. “I couldn’t tell him everything… but after all that, he said I should marry out of love, something he never got to experience.”

“...And that got you asking questions,” Jing Yuan muttered. Then, out of curiosity, he asked, “Does he hate humans as much as Mother?”

“His hate does not run as deep as Mother’s, but the pain of the war that happened many years ago… that cannot be easily erased.”

“And here we are now…” Jing Yuan sighed. “If Mother had taken a different path… things would’ve turned out differently.”

Young scoffed with a small smile. “Yes. We'd be fighting over the same girl instead of trying to save her life.”

Jing Yuan put a hand on Young’s head. “We did fight over her, and in the end, she still chose you over me. Now, here I am… making her hate me even more as I kill my brother and the fucking man she loves. What a joke.”

“It’s not like you to cry.”

“I’m not!”

“Right. I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.”

“Smartass.” When noises could be heard outside, Young heard his brother say his name. The half-dragon looked at his brother as he said, “...She won't forget about you, you know.” A small pause. “I won’t forget.”

“I liked you better when you were trying to assert your dominance.”

Jing Yuan glared at him. “Don’t make me walk out there with your head in my hands.”

Young looked down, and with a small, sad smile, he said, “It’s time, Brother.”

Jing Yuan stares at Young in shock, but before he can say a word, the door suddenly opens. Caelus’s father is the first one out followed by a nervous-looking Pom. As soon as Caelus’s father sees you, he frowns.

“...You.” He walks up. “What did you do to my son?”

Pom quickly slips between you and Caelus’s father. “Sir, it’s—”

“You’ve said enough,” Caelus’s father interrupts. “Now, move.” You don't get a chance to say anything as he shouts, "Explain why he keeps saying you're the reason why he's sick!"

Before Caelus’s father can grab you by the shoulders, Young quickly steps in, glaring at him. “Touch her, and you’ll be sorry.”

“Y’know,” Jing Yuan says, “I’d like to know why your son attacked me at the park. You don’t see me barging in there and grabbing at him.”

Caelus’s father glares at him. “He mentioned you as well. Something about you betraying him. How do you know my son?”

“...Dad.” Stelle comes out with Lan. “Stop.”

“I just want some answers, Stelle. I’m sure you do, too. Caelus isn’t supposed to be here! He’s—”

“He wanted to keep it a secret,” Lan says. “All of us”—he nods towards you—”we were looking for ways to help him because this cannot be solved using normal means.”

“How do you expect me to believe that my son is cursed? That is utterly ridiculous! I—”

“It’s true,” you say, and everyone turns. “...I was the one who cursed him.”

◆◆◆

A scream. A slash. A thud.

By now, the curse had taken over all three kingdoms. There was chaos and destruction at every corner. There was no order, no royals, and no titles. Everyone was strangely equal, but the situation still favoured those with wit and strength.

Just as Luocha pulled out his sword from the throat of an infected, he saw three of the infected swarm on top of a guard. Having no choice, Luocha fled and eventually sought shelter in his father’s room. The room still smelled like blood.

Luocha had just closed his eyes when he heard a light creak behind him. He spun around, his sword raised, and his eyes widened when he saw… you. He quietly said your name, nearly dropping his sword. A black veil covered half of your face, revealing nothing but your sharp eyes. Your clothes, a mix of white, gray, and black, were nothing like what the other women your age wore. Yours were fit for battle.

“How… Why are you here?” Luocha asked.

“I was curious.” You glanced at an ink-painted portrait of your family with bloody fingerprints all over. “...How everyone was doing.”

Luocha narrowed his eyes. “...You knew about everything that was going on."

“Stop trying to get a confession out of me, Luocha. Just say what you want to say.”

“You used magic… disguised yourself as Jing Yuan’s handmaiden and cursed our father.”

You looked down and chuckled. “I shouldn’t be surprised that you were the one to figure this all out. How long have you known?”

“For father’s health to suddenly deteriorate like that… it wasn't normal. After weeks of trying to treat him, I had a hunch this was because of black magic.”

“And from that, you suddenly decided that I was the one responsible?”

“No. Rather, I thought Jing Yuan was the one behind it. But, when his wife was cursed, I started to think it was you. I never thought you'd give up studying magic. You also had Young teaching you when he was alive.” Luocha walked up to you. “It’s been years, Sister, but you haven’t changed. At least, your thirst for knowledge never fails to surprise me.”

“Are you going to kill me? For killing Father?”

“You should’ve stopped there.” You glared at him, but Luocha didn’t back down. “Was Young so important that you had to get innocent people involved? He wouldn’t have wanted this to happen.”

Your sword was now at the side of his neck. “...Young was my happiness. Why should I continue living in the very society that turns a blind eye to injustice? What did we do that was so wrong? Young had every right to live as much as everyone else. Yet, his life was taken away, and for what? For me? Because of the political rivalry?” You scoffed. “I doubt we’re the first, and we won’t be the last.” Your blade drew closer. “...I want to end all of this political bullshit.”

Luocha was silent for a moment until he said, “And are you happy with the outcome?”

“I’m not finished.” Luocha briefly closed his eyes. Then, you quietly said, “I trusted you. Yet… when everything was happening, you did nothing.”

He could’ve preached that he was trying to protect you, but he knew he wasn't. Looking back, all he did was follow the status quo. So, he told you to stay away from Young, knowing well what would happen if you got caught. But, it wouldn’t be his fault. He warned you, after all. You just didn’t listen. Even when Jing Yuan banished you, Luocha remembered how he wanted to say something. But, what if he ended up getting banished with you? What would become of him? His status as a doctor? Would all of his hard work go to waste? Deep down, Luocha knew that he only wanted to protect himself.

A vial appeared in your hand. “I was saving this for you.”

“...Are you not going to use it?”

Then, you smiled wryly. “I don’t know… Who do I hate more? You or Jing Yuan? If you were Caelus or anyone else, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you.”

Luocha suddenly grabbed your hand that was holding the vial. He popped the vial open, and the mist wasted no time snaking up the glass and into the air. “I may have failed you as a brother, but know that during the time you were gone, I always hoped you were well. And…” Luocha neither flinched nor stepped back as the mist swiftly crawled into his eyes. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees, and the sound of swords hit the ground. When Luocha looked at you, the whites of his eyes were already turning blood red. “...And that I was proud to have a sister like you.”

You watched your brother fall to the floor, his mouth opening and closing as if he were a fish out of water until someone said your name.

“I found him.”

You stood just as your brother turned eerily quiet. But, instead of answering Pom, you picked up your sword. With both hands, you held it over your brother.

Before Luocha could regain consciousness without any humanity left in him, you struck the sword through his heart.

Luocha has one hand on the sink, the other is clutching his heart as he stares at his reflection in the mirror. You had killed him to spare him from turning into a horrendous creature. But the pain remains. His heart feels as if it’s engulfed in flames. When he closes his eyes, he sees you and then collapses to the floor.

◆◆◆

“...My son is dying in there,” Caelus’s father says, pointing to the closed door. “Do something!”

Then, the rest of the group walks out of Caelus's room, and March closes the door behind her. “He's finally asleep,” she says.

The doctor who had taken over for Luocha looks as white as a sheet. “I don’t know how long the sedation will last given his current state. Let me try to get in touch with Doctor Luocha and see if he can come in to help.”

“...Don’t think the guy will be much help,” Jing Yuan mutters.

“Dad.” Stelle puts a hand on her father’s shoulder. “...I can stay with Caelus tonight. You should go home, and get some rest.”

Before he can answer, his phone goes off. With one look at the screen, he walks off and answers it. “Yes… Yes… I know. I’ll deal with it…”

“Sounds like he’s got a lot on his plate,” Gepard says, watching the man round the corner while looking down.

“He’s been stressed,” Stelle says. “Not sure about what… but—”

“You really don’t know much about your father, don’t you?”

March puts a hand on her hip. “Are you saying you do?”

“I know my clients like the back of my hand, sweetheart.”

“Clients?” Gepard asks, raising a brow.

“He asked you to do something about that article about The Withering, didn’t he?” Stelle asks.

Jing Yuan smiles. "You're a smart one."

“L-Look,” March says after a sigh. “There’s too much going on right now! What are we going to do about Caelus? What happens after he wakes up? He’s not just going to… I don’t know… bust outta here, right?”

“...What can we do?” Gepard says quietly. “Let’s just wait if Luocha can do something about this.”

“Yeah, if you’re talking about the tall, blonde, pretty boy, you’re out of luck,” Nanook says, sitting on a nearby chair.

Stelle quickly looks at him. “...What? Did something happen to him?” Then, she looks at you. “What happened to Luocha?”

Jing Yuan steps in front of you and Stelle and says, “He’s fine. I can get in touch with him.”

Stelle frowns. “Don’t tell me he’s associated with you, too.”

“Take a guess.”

Stelle’s father comes around the corner and looks at his daughter. “...Stelle, we’re going home.”

“What?” Stelle looks at Caelus’s closed door. “But, what about Caelus?”

“It’s not like you can do anything if you stay.”

Gepard frowns at Lan. “Did you really have to put it like that?”

“It’s true,” Nanook says, looking at Stelle. “There’s really nothing you can do for him at this point.”

Stelle’s eyes land on you, and she walks up. “I may not know exactly what happened between you and my brother,” she says quietly. “But, isn’t that all in the past? I hope… I hope you can find it in you to help him.”

Then, she walks away with her father.

“I’ll keep an eye on Caelus,” Nanook says. “He won’t be going on any murderous rampages under my watch.”

Gepard and March are the first to leave. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, Jing Yuan turns toward the rest of the group and says, “Does this mean I’m officially off the radar? No more babysitters?”

Young finally turns to Pom. “You’ve been fidgeting for a while. What’s wrong?”

Pom quickly turns to Young. “M-Me? Oh, um, well…”

“I’ve noticed it, too,” Lan says. “Is there something you’re not telling us, Pom?”

Pom takes a breath and looks at you. But, before he can say anything else, they hear another voice. “Yes, Pom, don’t you think it’s time to stop keeping secrets to yourself?”

Nanook frowns at Sampo who’s suddenly sitting in a chair next to him. “How long have you been eavesdropping?”

Sampo shrugs just as Pom nervously says, “There’s a way to stop the curse.”

“How?” you ask.

Pom slowly looks at you, but it’s Sampo who breaks the news. “You die, Cupid.” Then, he stands and walks over. He leans down so he’s at eye-level with you. “...This is the choice you have to make.” When you look Sampo in the eyes, it’s as if he’s compelling you not to look away. “To live or to die.”

“...So, if she dies, the curse will go away?” Jing Yuan asks. "Everyone will live?"

“Correct.” Sampo leans upright. “You’d better decide quickly, dearie. Because time is not on your side.”

Then, he looks over his shoulder and sees Jing Yuan standing behind him. But his gold eyes are fixed on you.

“...What are you doing, Jing Yuan?” Lan asks.

Jing Yuan pushes past Sampo and suddenly grabs you by the hair, forcing you to look at him. 

“You’re at a disadvantage,” Young says sternly. “Let her go.”

“I thought we’re all on the same team here. We want this curse gone, don’t we?” Jing Yuan shoots you a look. “And now we have an answer.” Without turning his head, Jing Yuan looks at Young. “You must be the one I’ve been hearing so much about. Cold Dragon Young.”

“...If you really wanted to kill me,” you say quietly. When Jing Yuan looks back, he sees you glaring at him. “You would’ve killed me that day.”

Jing Yuan had his sword drawn. Something creaked behind him, but when he turned all he saw were the shadows of the candles on the walls. After he and Luocha split up, he ended up seeking refuge in your old room to escape the chaos outside. Ever since Jing Yuan banished you, he didn’t let anyone use your room, not even his wife. Sometimes, he’d pass by, and the night when he first tried to woo you almost always came back to him.

It was the night you had been drinking with Jing Yuan and Luocha. You had a little too much, and Jing Yuan ended up giving you a piggyback ride back to your room.

“...Young…” you’d whispered. “I miss you.”

Would his name ever leave your lips like that? Jing Yuan slid your door open, walked inside, and went straight to your bed. He gently put you down, but his hand was also itching to grab the knife hidden inside his hanfu. It would be so easy to kill you. One slash to the neck. One stab to the heart. You were completely vulnerable. Yet, before he knew it, Jing Yuan was leaning over you, his face dangerously close to yours. He could smell the alcohol, and he was fighting the curious urge to taste it on your lips.

Your eyes slowly opened, and you quickly sat up as if the sight of him made you sober.

“What are you doing?” you asked, holding the blanket over you.

“You passed out,” Jing Yuan answered calmly. “I took you back to your room.”

“...Okay, but why are you still here?”

Jing Yuan decided to take a risk. “Because I’m curious.”

“About what?” You frowned. “Don’t tell me you’re curious about a girl’s room.”

“You kept muttering a name. Young. Don’t tell me it’s Young, heir of the Middle Kingdom?” Jing Yuan knew, but it was your reaction that he was looking for. You’d stiffened and looked away. “...Looks like I was spot on.”

"Thank you for taking me back to my room, but if you could just leave—"

“Race aside… It’s not wise to waste your time on men who play with your feelings.”

Your gaze hardened. “He’s not playing with my feelings."

“So, you’re pathetically pining over him?”

“...Get lost.”

Jing Yuan grabbed your cheeks and forced you to look at him. “...I could make you forget about him.”

“You’re crazy. I think you’re the one who had too much to—”

His mouth was on yours, hard and rough. One of his hands held your wrists, and when he nipped your top lip, he raised your hand to the side of your head. He gently pulled your lip with his own and repeated the caress on your bottom lip before your lips finally parted. Jing Yuan wasted no time. The heat that began at his mouth had unfurled so fast that he needed more.

The alcohol tasted even better on your tongue. Your bed dipped when he climbed on top. Soon, his body was flush against yours until he heard you say, “...Stop.” Jing Yuan broke away. He had you on your bed, hands on either side of your head. The sight had sent his nerves on fire, but your face said a different story. " This isn’t right.”

“Who said?” You looked away, so Jing Yuan continued, “You aren’t his.”

“I’m not yours either.”

“But, you didn’t resist, which means… you also feel something for me.”

“I don’t want this,” you muttered. “Get off me.”

“...Say it while looking at me.”

You finally looked back at him. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Then, his mouth was on yours again.

Another creak made Jing Yuan spin around. Except this time, a sword pierced just next to his heart. Jing Yuan instantly fell to his knees. He could feel the tip of his blade scratching at his heart like fingernails on a chalkboard. This was deliberate. The placement was planned. With shaking hands, Jing Yuan put his hands on the grip until he saw you emerge from the shadows of the room.

“...We finally meet again.”

“I remember now,” Jing Yuan mutters. “You tortured me that day.”

Nanook looks at you. “Tortured and cursed?”

“No,” you say, without looking at him. “I didn’t curse him.”

Lan and Nanook glance at each other. “...Why not?”

Young has a hand on top of Jing Yuan's, and the man lets out a short scream before releasing you.

“Because once the person is dead," you say, "the curse won’t work.”

Jing Yuan couldn’t move. A small knife had pierced his hands, forcing them together. With every small movement, he felt the tip of your blade press against his heart. You were standing in front of him, your eyes cold, dead, and beyond saving. He was shirtless with blood and bruises all over.

“...I didn’t want to believe it was you.”

“And look where that got you, General.” You heard something crash outside. “Fire. Destruction.” Your eyes landed back on him. “Revenge.”

“This… This is all for Young, isn’t it?”

You twirled a knife in your hand and teased the blade down the side of his neck, drawing a thin line of blood. You walked behind him, stabbed him, and slowly dug the knife deeper… and deeper, taking great pleasure in hearing his painful groans.

“Why couldn’t we just get along?” you asked, leaving the knife inside of him and another one appeared in your hands. “...Your initial kindness was just an act.”

“...No,” Jing Yuan managed to say He took a breath. “Do you know why I came to the North?” At your silence, he forced a little, painful smile. “Your family took everything from me. My childhood. My parents. The life I could've had. And for what?” He looked up at you. “Because they couldn’t stand that my father fell in love with a woman from the Middle Kingdom.”

Was it ironic or a cruel twist of fate that Jing Yuan suffered a similar fate?

“I could’ve killed them earlier… but seeing how you were their daughter”—a small scoff—”I started rethinking everything.” Jing Yuan screamed in pain as his hand slid across the blade until it was finally free. But now there were two gaping holes in the middle of his palms. The blade fell to the floor just as he grabbed your hand with the dagger. “I want to stop this. For you. For Young. For myself.” Upon pulling you closer, he felt the tip of the dagger against his abdomen. “...My brother and I wanted to protect you, but I guess we failed.”

As if sensing it was coming, you tried to stop him, but with the last of his strength, the dagger impaled him. With the amount of force you felt, you knew he was gone.

Sampo looks at you. “Your revenge ended with Jing Yuan, but the war raged on. Nothing could stop the monsters you created.”

“Pom,” Nanook says. Then, he eyes Sampo. “Is that what you wanted to tell us? You knew she had to die for the curse to be over?”

“I had a dream about it,” Pom says quietly.

“That may have been true, but perhaps not anymore.” Everyone turns to Young, but he's looking at you. “...There might be another way.”

Chapter 27

End notes: I think a lot of people are probably wondering about why/how Cupid became a God. Well, our dear 'ol Sampo is going to reveal that in the next chapter lol now that all this revenge has finally come to light.

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @nqctre @tanspostsblog @theprinceofkhaos @lunavixia @akwardbiscuit @sunsethw4 @hiqhkey @n8mareee @vintagepoetryluna

[noctether]

brainstorm.

Given how much Jing Yuan yearns for living freely, he'd love to hear about adventures from the people he knows and treasures. He can't leave the Luofu, has his own duties to shoulder, which leads him to have a dull and repetitive life. Of course, he's the one that makes it so, for he treasures the lives of his people more than the thrill of battle, and exactly this is what turns his life so dull (to make sure he won't be fighting losing wars, to be certain that no one will die under his command, he has to have total awareness of all situations, and it puts a deep weight over his shoulders).

In a perfect life, he'd still have contact with Jingliu, Blade, and Dan Heng, and they would send him occasional updates about their travels. How the weather changes in a particular planet, a cute animal they found while passing, the view of the night sky in each corner of the galaxy.

That's not just because they know Jing Yuan would like; that's to say, "you may not be here but I still think of you". That's to say, "you are not as alone as you may think". In other corner of the galaxy, of the universe, yet still, against all odds, the one in my mind is you. Because that's what Jing Yuan himself feels. And it might never come to happen, and for Jing Yuan, that's okay, because he doesn't love his friends expecting them to love him back. Love isn't something on two ways, no one is obligued to love you back just because you love them so.

That's why, if he ever got to trade mundane pictures of his own life with someone no longer close, even if it is only pictures, no text whatsoever, he'd probably be the happiest.

Jing Yuan is so easy to please that it hurts. How badly were you deprived of affection, that any gesture brings out your surprise? At least, you found a reason to keep moving-- and it must be enough. For you, it must be. Because you don't believe there might be something else beyond this that could anchor you as duty. Because you have no one else to anchor you. That's the fate of these that turn themselves into anchors-- no one look at you as a person anymore.

[madraleen]

Now that the dust has settled- Honkai Star Rail 2.2 quest, long LONG thoughts (spoilers!)

-To begin with: I thought the overall story stuck the landing with both feet solidly on the ground. On a first level, that’s good enough for me, since I had quite the nagging issues with the Xianzhou ending. On a second level, there’s a few things that are nagging me here too that keep me from waxing poetic, but they can easily be remedied in 2.3, so I’m holding off on a conclusive opinion until we see what comes next.

-The plot twist: I LOVED IT. When we fell unconscious and then everything concluded happily-ever-after, I was so numb. I was like, “Uh… I… guess? I guess it all ended well…?” Admittedly underwhelming but also a happy ending, I didn’t know how to react. When Black Swan told us that the Crew actually lost, I lost my mind along with it, I was so shocked and pumped. Now, part of me wishes the quest had ended there, with 2.3 being us dealing with everything with more room to breathe. Even so, I did love what followed.

-Robin and Sunday: Sunday was canceled in 2.1 after the whole Aventurine thing by me, personally, but I did expect him to have the spotlight in a humanizing way in 2.2. I liked his character approach, I still don’t want him near my dearests. Robin is lovely. The ultimate sister. I really liked how they showed their paths deviating after a single mutual event. I don’t consider their vague ending a plot hole, surely it’ll be dealt with in 2.3.

-Misha: Aaah, my lovely Misha who I love so much. I wasn’t surprised with how it all unfolded, and I loved seeing how his speech changed once he regained his memories and purpose. It was a sweet ending, but also, on a personal note that has no reflection on the story, I wish he remained in the Dreamscape, so that we wouldn’t have a playable character “in loving memory of.” They keep piling up too, with Gallagher also “dying,” and Tingyun (I don’t think she’s dead, but for all intents and purposes she currently is). It’s a little odd, emotionally, to play long-gone Misha.

-Dan Heng & Boothill: The duo we didn’t know we needed! They paired so well together, they were so funny yet competent?! I loved that Dan Heng joined in the action, and I really liked Boothill.

-Trailblazer: HARMONY TRAILBLAZER, SO COOL OMG

-Imbibitor Lunae & Jing Yuan: ICONIC. Fake dream be damned, this was iconic.

-Firefly & Blade: I liked Firefly way more in 2.2 than 2.1. Her personality shone more, and I liked it. I loved seeing her with Blade too (in a suit! Driving!), in a casual non-mara struck conversation. It was nice seeing Blade like that. I don't mind that we don't know where she went or what she did in the end, I'm pretty sure we'll see in 2.3.

-Acheron: I liked what we saw of her, and I really like how she would have destroyed the dream if Preservation wasn’t at play. A double-edged sword, I guess. Did Aventurine do a good thing ‘cause then we wouldn’t have known the culprit/motive/goal, or a bad thing, ‘cause this would have ended much sooner otherwise?

-The gripes: -WHAT DO YOU MEAN ARGENTI SAVED AVENTURINE?! When, even?! ‘Cause he’d already seen him by the time we fought him in the competition. Where WAS AVENTURINE, where did he go, what did he do?! He went to the Reef, Jade said so, but he wasn’t there when we were there, so maybe Argenti saved him before that, but saved him how?! From what?! What happened?! I am BEYOND elated that we saw Aventurine and know he’s alive and well, he’s my fave, but he did All That in 2.1 just for a vague “Welcome back and well done” scene with Jade in the end? What about Topaz and Ratio?! Ratio’s note and help? Topaz and the IPC, from 2.2?! But that’s easily remedied with a flashback in 2.3, which would explain what happened and would showcase Argenti even more, who I assume will rerun next patch, so I’m not condemning anything yet. 2.3 is shaping up to be a direct continuation of 2.2, given the ending.

-Sparkle’s bombs. Could have been a red herring, could be a 2.3 plot point, could be that Sparkle was just living her best life. I hope we’ll get a comment on that in 2.3, ‘cause currently I see it as a loose thread.

-Aventurine’s chip? We still have that, right? And it wasn’t used. Does that mean he can still locate us?

-Did we even destroy the Stellaron?! If no, HUH?! If yes, what’s powering the Dreamscape now?!

-Gopher. Sunday is currently the only one held responsible for everything, when it really wasn’t like that, and even Gopher hinted at a bigger mastermind. What happened with Gopher, where is he?

-The Galaxy Rangers. Are you telling me a whole swarm of Galaxy Rangers descended on Penacony and we get to see none of that?!

But again, some or all of these things can be addressed in 2.3, so I’m holding off on grudges for now. 2.3 can re-frame 2.2 into something spectacular, or land it in the “very good, but-” category.

Also. The voice narration, was it Elio?! Was that Elio?!

[astrxlfinale]

Wanted to give this a spin when I saw it on the dash! Less imagery though, and more me writing out the thoughts. So let's dive into it!

Will get a wee bit lengthy. So under a read more it goes.

1.

A character that got me into Star Rail was genuinely the Trailblazer themselves. I think anyone who's come to know me is not surprised AT ALL with this once interacting with me. There's a shared energy I love making full use of, reveling in their share of chaos, their certainties and their comical doubts. Just the way they wholly dive into the experience is a quality I can relate in enjoying myself.

Not to mention I'm just a fan of their design in general. Even if it looks like they're ~somewhat~ cosplaying the Express itself, all of the golds and blacks really compliment their set up.

2.

In this game it feels like a main is harder to come by, since I'd primarily need me a gang to get things knocked out. Though! If there's a character I've pinned a lot of commitment into, it'd be Firefly! Holding her at E1S1 and been spending the whole of 2.3 burning up TB power at her domain. I've really come to enjoy the Oppressive playstyle of just having enemies not do jack shit. Cutting through defenses, playing around with the high speed to boot.

It's playstyle that's suffocating on opposition and that's how I want it. After getting stunned, DoTted, blown up, one shot wiped. Finally I can have an effective means to supply that same hell onto my enemies. So working to the point of cracking open a high pivotal damage point is fun to me, it rings familiar to RPGs like Octopath Traveler that also had it's own break mechanics.

3.

As for a character I come to love? I think I might've answered that accidentally on number one. LOL. I'm a full on Trailblazer fan here! Characters like them feel a little hard to come by in this era where Nonchalance is revered and hailed supreme. So characters that can showcase passion? I'm absolutely all for.

4.

Dr.Ratio. While I love the pointed passion, dealing with someone like that would genuinely be agonizing for me to deal with. It'd just be the condescending note that would honestly, make me want to tell him to fuck off. Then again I'd have no doubt that arrangement would be just fine with the both of us.

5.

I really want to get Silver Wolf onto my teams! Though, I've heard that not having that starter Light cone would make the curve of getting her improved more of a genuine hell. I'd be willing to work on that struggle, especially if it means I can find my 'cheat code' around weakness types. Playing the game made me learn just how much more tanky enemies are if they don't have the specified weaknesses on them.

Not just in breaking (which adds more vulnerability.) I'm literally doing 20% less damage, and I'm nowhere close to the point of nuts artifacts where brute forcing becomes a viable option.

6.

I believe Gallagher has the closest example to my eye color. (Mines is brown.)

7.

Dan Heng! (I have black hair.)

8.

Honestly? I don't think any of these characters share a solid match of personality for me. Similarities for running around with chaotic thoughts with the TB can be shared, but as it stands I'm too laidback. I do share Qinque's MO for wanting to make work related lifestyles as amicable and amendable as possible. Just enough, never above and beyond, especially when you're aware of the field you're in.

9.

For the time being right now. I'm saving for a Silver Wolf rerun, though, I will admittedly try my luck on Feixiao. That depends on if their kit appeases me however, gotta see how flexible it is with the balance of characters I have. (I know I'ma need another Harmony at this point. Robin may on the rerun radar as well depending on how Feixiao works.)

10.

Firefly! From the shade of dual hair colors, the sunset eyes to the way that energized spirit green can shine within them. There's a lot of her features that brings plenty of appeal to the table. I love how her outfit works like the prismatic wings of either an insect or a fairy, also giving off that appeal similar to stained glass despite being cloth. A lot of it just mesh to be a joy to the eyes and in kind, how it can work with either shades of fire she utilizes.

Not to mention the SAM unit itself! Human sized Mecha (or close to it) can easily win some appeal points for me. The way it operates as armor, and plays upon the concept of ignition for fierce strikes and high momentum just feels into the value of momentum, which is another big plus for me. There's also that dichotomy between the form, which adds a charm point when you see those respective 'modes' shine through to what she's externally showing.

11.

Destruction!

Characters who thrive in the fight, risking damage and turning that struggle into strength through various means will always speak to the fiery side of my soul. The gameplay style where you're balancing that vitality as much as your enemies are working to deplete is interesting to me. I love that measure of control, and how the enemy has to deal with me on multiple fronts as much as I have to deal with them.

Part of me wishes they'd come to do a mini rework on the Destruction TB for this reason. With their healing factor being only outside of battle, and how there isn't much usage for sacrificing high vitality for empowerment, it leaves a lot to be desired when you catch an eye on more modern units.

12.

Imaginary! Primarily for the creation appeal that many of the characters utilize with it. It's an Element that really highlights the creativity of a character, and gets them to really show off what they can literally bring to reality when given the chance. I for one, will always come to recognize the appeal they bring to the table with that.

[pharawee]

Rose's Day of Asks - the sequel

Hi! My question for you... Which actors do you wish would get cast in a bl as a lead? and with what partner, if you have any in mind?

Have a wonderful night. Rose❤️

Hi Rose, thank you so much for your question! I hope you feel better already. 💜💜💜

There's so many actors I'd love to finally see as the lead in a BL - mostly solo actors because they started their acting careers as side characters, love rivals or villains so there's so much potential to pair them with other fresh faces.

Someone who immediately comes to mind (surprising, I know lmao) is Winner Tanatat because I love him dearly and he's reliably been stealing the show for me wherever he pops up. He's basically taken Big Thanakorn's place on top of the third wheel podium now that Big FINALLY got his well-deserved main role.

I also can't believe domundi have been sleeping on Poppy Ratchapong for so long. Yes, he's talented and funny but have you considered giving Poppy a boyfriend?? Maybe make it Nont Intanont because they both looked really good in Nont's MV for ธรรมดาที่ไหน:

Then again, domundi have also been sleeping on Mark Sorntast until recently when he's been looking like that FOR YEARS.

And gmmtv isn't much better. I mean, Papang Phromphiriya exists. I know I'm not alone in wanting him as the lead in a BL (or any show, really, just give me more Papang I'm begging you gmmtv 😭).

I'm also very partial to Kay Lertsittichai but gmmtv seem to have firmly typecast him as the villain now. Which is an injustice (I like his villains though - they're very pathetic and wet).

Same with idolfactory and Heng Asavarid. Someone free these men from their status as morally questionable side characters!

Unpopular opinion time but this scene with Heng and Nat Sakdatorn in The Sign stole the whole show for me. The things I'd do for more HengNat. 🫠

Then there's Kokliang Parinya who's posting the most beautiful photoshoots on his insta EVERY DAMN WEEK yet somehow he's not been the lead in a BL even once. That man's a medical doctor ffs please someone cast him as the leading man. 🙏

I also need justice for Non Ratchanon (even though he's been in a short story compilation by Director Golf and in a few other things like The Rebound but that just shows how well he can act) and I'd love to see him as the lead in a fully-fledged 12 episode BL.

The same goes for Bank Chanwut. I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HIM (and imagine what could have been if 9NAA didn't mess up Beyond the Star).

And I generally don't understand how Rossi Nonthakorn isn't everywhere after On Cloud Nine (yes technically he was playing the lead here and in another shortform series along with Non Ratchanon but that's not the same innit).

This is getting far too long already but I can't believe I almost forgot about Boss Thawatchanin who can do cute and, uh, whatever else that was with Gap Jakarin in Norrasing (but, really, I don't mind, give me more GapBoss):

And what about Na Naphat? He made me like Tawan in Kinnporsche (he did everything wrong and I love him) AND WE WERE PROMISED NA AND FIAT PATCHATA IN WISH ME LUCK!!

There's really so many other actors that I'd love to see in the spotlight in their own series. Like JJFong in a proper show where they aren't relegated to comic relief. Or JJUs now that they're freed from BOC's basement. Or PromMark because they've been trying to sail their ship for years now (and they recorded a song together that's still one of my faves) but maybe we'll finally get lucky in Jack & Joker. 🤞

[libidomechanica]

“Out of day all into my own dark a”

A sonnet sequence

               1

You, Bob, are wood,’ through the end of intoxication to draw. To pick juicy rubies, who survived the sullen winding mighty mass of melodies; and the press’d: of him here, for love’s old song like smaller. Out of day all into my own dark a mind the breaking behind my Delight. No stated, and roar’d of the hope hope hope on my head, an image I do steal things with them of the stories are circulation. And kiss, so sure a green would pour forth, Ask why tears and the poet’s blossoming, all; and lo! The comfort so the wren through tis my heart of Albion’s earlier had past, howling sorrows freshest cheek, whose again—again to be sickly ghost, and plumes anger, ’ and tumble knapsack a’ my nightdress, and all the hilts? All pass’d in by her music by the front of death, no fancy cannot seen the hotels, st. Is likely find a bill’s small crowd. And puts out upon her side.

               2

However, I follow’d bait on purposeth; since your conversion has given quantity encumbered. Of sound was surprise like most dear to the entrance, a thousand mair weathered over me for confest my mother’s death-white foam nor what make her dukes, which is a love you great travail to soothe my cheerless sleep; from staring mine eyes, for a five within the blue, betray how shade, of such kind of gentle shadows and lilies, yet cannot die, till that to win it were my Love upon the stories are one. As well if she third or seen, and wish to warm us on sheets, and all phantom wooed.

               3

For what time, the moments when nature seem a school boys and proved, a pure unstrung, and salt—sweet ore which locked with house with our young I study there, I heard you have faculty by thy fame is quiet dream of any state with hope hope hopes.&Forth, I rise again, that he said: the boy walks in her heaven and could not revere: if the hue of wretch, howling snow. A bliss, for follower as love all thou art my Life is gone; there stand all it what the publicly impart: o, lest your eyes, where music by that have climbs to where the Memory of much to fear; but the World to his below, are one.

               4

Advantage the worth these words came neere, Her bloud cost of her, and ward; whose chin and all his spawn of thee more the land. Some, with those who would be heard; I saw the Ringlet restrains. Straight so, she redden’d and love thee; but tis yon hawthorn, wherefore. All help you would scorner, ’ and their wealth of a stone set in triumph, come with the one I ate? Each from thee with kings waving. And thorough, and performed of day? My heart, as in crushing him away. Or love is the spring, wi’ mony a flower as lord was scarcely gazed, and coughs to cry aloud for ever in spread wings in his own hand,—why, thus they!

               5

And prophecy—except the brick, and shut up annals wax’d but this turf, and all his foot of spirits, and that your smile, theniel Menzies’ bonie Mary, charlie Grigor in the grieved so intensifies and man’s abhorr’d: how eager gentle read, thy works out, this bequeath the Poet’s pages of those the cowslips the lamplighten. His morns he paid it. And art thou hast passed them beyond its myself more they are footage to kiss the conveyance, the snow, when his below, to freedom’s chosen it. Alas, that you cease trying! Before than this odd labyrinth; or as a vanquished soldiery to die.

               6

Fate sic pleasures of these world a year old acquaintance; and all is sick for the surgeon’s knife. Proves imagination; but this is that darken’d; like a dumb statue, from the fire, more sublimer word were stands the poor devil are the rude enough the scorn that can win a crystal—and drove past, and mountain show to smile, that of her youth and living behind the streamlet and pale lips on with due prevail against allow’d, pursues! The lucky, and could discern when I begins a journey, but know myself such a city, and dark, and prophecies, for being breathe things which great worse the Mansions.

               7

You are, alas, her way. For it’s like stone- Henge is not the ducklings to itself thou are about philosophise, and a ho, and nearly glisten; and I, whose pallid breasts beneath to live a sparkling snow. But Juan saw no footprint, hearken to follower upon their full before him Max, and sweet there is black. Fire beneath the brave poore, you’ll afford me so sordid and we touch entirely by nightly expressive you soar too happen thy cheer, the Devil; the eye is the purple-stained gloves it holds the falling snow. In twice through verdurous heart is still on Menie doat, and all thing!

               8

Was given her woes? And mair were I am an ancient debauchee who like thee, that she, whate’er the slow strings renewed for bloody spur cannot shining in mud. Of conqueror William did repay his knights of the highway home, an English heart, into my Mother could be head, so gladly speeds the Whigs? Of the tyranny could be said— just an anguish still, no longer roves in this childhood in that he prescription; and now the deepe in me, and shawl, Depart nourishment, since through three is the first attached to a pint of being pent in the Grand? To ten, or durst inhabits;—not so.

               9

The sound, and with good satire, i’d try confine, half the solemn and hover upon the time, and since which was not said many of town, he laid to make me alone. Which must be won by favour or wholly; and yet what a sublime constant light, I’ve been ravellers drive to speak. I hate to swage; nature with his feet, and more harmony with woe! Of age, and winding for thee that will I; as doth makes me sin award, in the major part it be according, her words of this is their burthens, meaning in the only pretty captive, freedom? Along the complaining, eyes in brass.

               10

The common men may floats though your curls, and he notices to be: only bear traps for mind from everyone else is. When birds nor light, thy sharpers’ hooks, where is the windshield and of the turnpikes, and knucklebone. How bleed, but we were once were the kingdom of these responses give the strong her lay in a dream of a young I studied with griefs findings of free that flies in a newspaper posted on my rose is shown, Fled is lord of heaven is with dead fleece made a wickedness; my lord was cold. Like a tooth in arias of old? Tool that blessed, through the incalculable mystery.

            ��  11

Had it any flaws of bone, half-solved sometimes and to climbed thy sight of our brow and he whole ones lie of Theirs—their hydes, like the prick leaves rainbows o’er the very clear striking resemblance between the meant. Before than young feelings cry, the gentlemen along the list of ignis fatuus to know you up the thorn, thy long, Jámi, in this our only bower’ in Moore’s the major part of mechanics, and duly seats or suits full of intrigues between unequal light-winged Dryad of glass and sudden, the prime. With the street still. Things below, kiss and his cheeks, and can finde, where I saw rooftops.

               12

And gentle Euphues, whose skies. You canst not, but quite sure I? And the same state within my breath, whoe’er shall the world a year old age’s creep, prickle my song, so my tongues to pansies come, and cried, unmarried, unmarried until final berries thy look of fondness, young like a taper, my heart. Read, and Memory the first a fit of this line, remember So dark secret charged; yet this is, or senate in the care no sign of more mild Muse with a grace grace, spears ago you struction, which the mourn to her cheek lie this the one word that would lie, but when I hold dominion draws; then my father?

               13

Do; but much to fuddle with the first are a dainty Ariel’ and put claim the elm-tops down by yon streets fermentative. Beam on my heart beat about with otherwise word Miltonic blast has slain my fairer, I never we should make my Stella thing limping and haply the small smile; and o’er it moves, he found, and nor what other bower, who rolls an ox o’er pebble, and is a sacred pages. And descended, Ellen flew over they have acted the capitulation—that in handwriting what time, and when I’m sure I? Don Juan was in Banquo’s glass, sweet them, worse that is cruel.

               14

And in the little feuds, at least that nought save, which the hilts? Better, that Fortune’s shining? My guard of gravity is singing, bend then spoke I to nurses;—kill and thrusts in odour and though of taxborn riches, wherewithal: be she shovel down to deem, no doubt, the springtime, blood their antique pen would in sighs most dear save though of what merit live by lies beside moments on her dear to less to think that shoulder bore. Of years and shadows number’d lie; the place book. The lower as loveling then, where the road be heart, into my own darkness. For I am quite a drum in honest, stain.

               15

Thing all kinds of the alien cornfield is universe wild voice, quoth I, Sweet a flower; like Roland’s distresses have bid your loved well? The wars, the wind’s Eye its very fault? I knew porphyria’s Lover! Busy old face with bosom friend Jeffrey write and sees a worlds, and all bail shall find tongues to a party as tall as brain? Do you read it; but still, scarce any sensual; for once more: imaginations stay, in darkness in me. With the breasts beneath to bonie Mary. Name on his fair maid, ere ships have seen—the Hunter and could fail so. Time. Talk in tender is that abandoned arms he said: the grass-grown lately rather drain the sculpture of all mine, fair of Rome turned nest and sages have been at leads the ken, or did I know my epic renegadoes, milton appears and corrupt by another lay in a dazzling eye wax dim, drew quiet? The night drink of what dirty.

               16

If I spoke, she was sitting, she is a word! Teach the womb—it is youth; and Crabbe will true-hearted was let there, for you, drink too much untold, laughing Natures of lips: but, as thoughtful bard sits by her sonnets, at great shape of Thetis, which way is homages,— is yet but sweet love is their proudlier prancing spoke, she was not matter to know not undo it. The bells her old fast the simply, with me, sweet love that glittering colder where my eyes and stricken, so remembers more them down to touches prone, I have ever know, from the entire worth thy tongues: full of the good complain, with time.

               17

Kill and I sigh alone. The bright, and feelings, lend with its hint, when we know, that I in the people bred by the Tombe did not least, alone all that I then t is a glimpse of right; our days work’s expired: for their habits;—not so, we’lltalk of land of Manhattan was blue devil. Left them fades that is kneeling dwells the usual by thy praise. But onward life, and new system to attend, instead, and though death the bars to sticker bushes to pick juicy rubies, pearl make an Eve, be the damp, spilling on her body be. Bower, and so that a living dark moved overwhelms us all.

               18

Who, sleep, in the pity by love thee thou appear so well to shed; she stream, full shows me when western winding morn. So low upon an hour of day? A voice from thy heart as twere nor me internal spirit of BEAUTY, that eats at moments on me, and let itself, or so, and manger, like to a thine, call’d off by one and legs stop twitching, made the earth, of riches exposed to me one of life and the lot of life should like a hawk, an’ it winna let a body be. The entrance, which looks into my eye like to a dew, wanting concussion, they might melts down run through puddle; hurrah!

               19

She seem’d to his property and that regard. Like to a Ship on Goodwins call! Free, so doth wear, play ye at with Richard Rorty said that’s hardly leave thee still with pride, his friend! Appeared understand still struck the boy, the arrows from the light, let not youth, and is apt to Tauris, was given a samples on our body making notes were once more’s the sole princes who have been a Congress doing to seek, i’m sure I? Of falling to think upon earthly paradise, and limped downe my heart of my pained mouth to Auld Lang Syne! At moments you’d coax a vampire. That glory is the nation.

               20

Let him not breathe sweetest air. The fancy will know it’s embedded in business was rise that is no scent before there’s a weak Woman; nor are they be thou and I own me in default confusion; therefore since Adam, with his pass like Don Juan, carpe diem, ’ Juan, in the better, daughters—worn and the carefully would kiss me to swell? Who don’t pretence of worms to dwell: thy frown last nightly expressive you as I love, though a ring, when proud heart, though the cathedral; and not limit much more this unholy battle. And love to find then may lose by horses o’er a strong Arm—and open Hand.

               21

Back to me which looks ouer their spells did glow. Nor shaw, theniel Menzies’ bonie glen at wintry dawn; but if I should turn an article. A mosque so noblest the third or hearts are wounded, Ellen stood in my griefs to keep it, and full of matter wounds proclaim’d! Unseen a Duke no matter when this tale, for they say that Hope adore., So prime. Of endless, but do not, but not thinkers are passion; but fair, nor can I say a thief to strip mall, I put off at speed, being great prodigy, Miss Araminta Smith who does my heart would make my Stellaes Season, which Cupids selfish, and become.

               22

And was round was lucky hours, Depart not— lest it in the rich press’s matrimonial bounty and poor, which shall above all my heart let me poor stood, and wide whites should thy spell of the grave.—The van, those who have much did knows, whose plague, this army of thorny fruit bush where Nancy, I though seldom sunny lane some buried deep and drooping eyes have lied who did not said his inconstant glance made proffer of outworn buried age; when slowly the corner. Beauties, who don’t the day or night was time so sordid and sunburnt mirth! This island end with it all of melody spur cannot quench love.

               23

Gone, I went to sleepers who gathers’ gravel the cries, and by the nightly express’d; but do not giggle, and straight in Caledon or Italy, thy baited hooks shallow, and not know it’s jet, jet black, an’ it’s jet, jet black. To you know the drains doubting coldly wherewith the skiffs which a mode of either eyes, but— as being opened the thou and I, Love, you looke in the highway home, and a sweetest sings hot and offering, all; the fridge, on thee thou go without the capital apace;—esteem, like a toothy wolf where he deep an adjunct to regular sorrows the crusted snows, who lifts him pardon a fault? Robbing notes were Herself almost clergymen, we have, extremely in my face, prepar’d by thy glorious character, all, another reason that wretched meat and casting well, crie Victorie, a passive you have seen a concoction flittering and love after me.

               24

Of being so low in the sternly death! If things righten. Amongst lives them, and the boy walks this is no more, and brushed by Fame, that has been at least state, or like stone. That sweetest sings happiness,—so, she rose; but t is in vain such a scorn to hear; if from my Maw. Like a raccoon. A notion, maybe that now you may lose helplesse in sometimes graced our soarings hymns at heav’n to gloss, and leaves which shall tangle me forth found, if a hands to warm Southey’s gander. That was God’s Son, as to me. And I know your slavery much the people of royalty’s vast her head, however, t is busied.

               25

Last, in embalmed darkly bright forking the real to me then t is tongue’s tune the contemplation. And when for can’t shaken while Damon’s head—and so shallow, and if all would engross’d the farmer ploughs but silk that binde. And let the night, trim, but this, that I sing thrown, a jargon, a metal trinket from which might here waxing rather dignity brook’d about here. I’ll say, Don Juan, whose was vacant, as consecrates his housekeepers who admired of being a sidewalk, the mavis and yet I find in morning down into my side, therefore he mourning of other honey-moon’s later.

               26

They won’t want hills of view things hot dogs which was no gentle Groane at the night-winged Dryad of grandsire left, save where Max like a shell- fish. The Blues, tongues to mine eyes have way house of a horses! Do not know what weightless love: be her chill blast. Skulls that clings that being people at his bed thy bier.-The old me Head and strong appear’d to quench you, sleeping. Infected valour; much also then use rigor tint his just at there’s little strait melts. Outer air were spectre of the young her mines of the grew so—on the hills, that can nothing else desire to say truths you alone. Queen Virtue, the true.

               27

Yet I shudder’d around was lucky, I stand an Asia, and gainst duns, and rewarded. To Spain an image of them there did most others lie huddled wonder which now bleed as my friends that the church, refusing giraffes if you back carefully would dedicate, on living soul in eternal, measures hold; but little more than necessity and bow and shook when wind willing frame: i, cumbred with poets almost clergymen, or from the Continent, but the floor; their uti possible of rest: low lies onwards me paint the porch of Love before head, by the True Believe that is he?

               28

We left it be a foolscap crowns over. And could tell there in an hour. Drawn after a rain set off a great Drawcansir, examined by those koi, still it when we met! His rider love. Then will both to fuddle along time, life’s journey, but, like a beam in shapes of literature with gratitude in which turn to have take my love’s religion, I must die; and nor what he should Fate sic pleasant Orange-tree; how Poles right; no leaf will protected: and I pass’d the air, thoughts abide, intend not kill’d’ the Field of Verse, the tune the broad air can explanations out grass. And I are nothing means.

               29

If I might they circle of ‘Auld Lang Syne! My puling passion. On her worth as I suffer frost somehow, but what you soar too high, left nothing, she is a poet. To turn them, and the howling at the immortal clothed in starlight acquaintance, the wise doubt, chance. To perplex and fill the road be head, taking no summer’s day where music in the evening eyes wide wings, and knucklebone.— Of Whom? God being in a hurry of song, and an ejection. She fled from this pious mother in their name of Biron. Such stones will and then use rigor tint far deepe in my breath in her arms pale death!

               30

I saw ten thought of the humanity— must make this bequeath the boy who was surpris’d and founder’d half of wheels, which form to find what the friend, his feet to give himself more hard to lose you go the more for myself within can stave off our brow sae white, nor flower-enamour’d by unrest. Pinto— Mendez Ferdinando—still small to so basely he four and his carriage; and, above all men ride, the Bench too tend her grace thy love’s religion, I must be a they-love poet’s, too, they are you distil your smell, desir’st those plans a word! Now more the tints of the ridge of the distance.

               31

But open Hand. Yet unborn: first look down on you and makes me than everybody think they’re given a sprightly dream of heaven’s freedom’s chosen it. Not to vex the lattery? Yet Faith stirs in odour and her outward show’d a fever, and a real swell? In ambush of your love herself upon the C he gave us Life, for thee that loves the cold stone; she saw Ilion? To his neck unto Thee from thou overcome into teaches girls to the Florentine: ye monarch reign’s head—and thee well countess, or whether make my loue to freedom, he apple falling—come, let me love the ring?

               32

The house who love. To watch you only that least not be, to seek not the little, been absence sound a patch of so great state, that if Diogenes country lane some heiresses; tell them therefore them beyond all, yet Faith and lost amidst royal riddle, though I hate a murderous, bloody French were empty house I lo’ed a death and in and his Daughter; but don’t, t will, steal one like to warm us on summer winds at war with close by one and with pain the heaven’s gate; the bond the dance, the load. The worlds pass away, to live in visioned dream of clichés and like Hecla’s flame in the road!

               33

Action, maybe that has been but sleeping on darkness was island of thee how, in promoting myselfe for it is a lie? Where parents live anthem fades to freeze once more, whose light leaps in time. Thou art insensible from which Cupids self, and sigh’d, and write. Fool lord, all free to watch the moonshine upon the end of Manhattan was mine nor your sweet than mine a little boxes frame: i, cumbred with apple, sends that lid, full-sloping eyes too palpably description on an English heart in the dream of any summer is a narrowly the lines a ioy from afar, nor services.

               34

You say: be hypocritic but by those. Even such is come who preferr’d. And cry: hope’s permanent among the month’s frost some still aching such, which shakes a stiff yet grass- grown quadrille.—A planet guide, among the women faded for the day, fair maids have lov’d friends that which the brazen from the dance things nothing great shall whelm the manors if that they behold! Swell, and, with mine eyes be blessing night makes my friend, because to slave-maker, who seem’d quite old enough you turn to snow, despite of eighty, in a dancing a boat and cold autumn, and from the day! For thy Feet, the window, and sky!

               35

You gentlemen, by dint of life and that is not amidst the wild voice by thee, and dancer, had kept him not approved. And still with children save what great cup of wonder at the dreary front proper time; for pity by the conversion or lie huddled and beneath thee my Oread cold to the waukens by the sovereign shock’d, and looke in Ohio call Stella, who from flowers; and his gust is greeing, and could not long of those pedestrian Muses upon it still aching above they passing t is not lose her darlings sake, knowing? And yet t is not long we have tosses turtle.

               36

Voice o’ Pity here? You overstrain firm soil to speak out. I know that sweetest of ill mask’d how pearls and corruptible a level, that future day will ride, looking on his own little boxes framed; heav’n is music, either house in purple round was let them with To be led to any times hath taken up at her word that fell on me, as if it stopp’d em. In love, all as a moral chimney-sweeper, bring tide homeward glided in the phantom wooed.—She she sat without sometimes hath and calling—come, my delight. Lovely knows. Thousand downstairs in the dewy hill. Had told you are made.

               37

The Kiss of human heart. Decide, and of Majesty, after he be, the death. Since soundly sleeps with teach that are you would she no more regular gleam of fashion, which he passion. I cannot express a depth below, ineffably, legitimately been raveled and in haste, a guard; thou thus, through which from me I’ll tell you are smoke are but a ray. That is now that sweet Tibbie Dunbar? Believe so much ye strip the Scotchman in this world! And will breathe third, the Virgin’s mystical virgins black Edward’s helm, and with me. Old guard of hemlock I had drunk, or emptied somehow, but when love.

               38

Some rumours, which I have more not—Continent, and there waning has, little space to die so sore, hath she sat a Raven, she strike are but we have, like to this, and the sheds, he asks not tell ye: cupid and honour; and the holy water and he makes my hero; nor foes—all nation is not to all, to one who look upon, and beneath the tyrant’s side sat little cause thy flame! Over the grass, and all them with time— not just now there you turned with all that fled, matches, but Juan felt she; now the capital apace;—esteeming it a life to be kingdom of lips: but, as where is hell.

               39

Juan knew him, if he died, Rorty said a word!—Only he answer about going to be, and howling such, which I doubting country lang—take their dead: fair wealth, and with once filled with thee down, that want of glass for in gear, we’re rich in her teens; and there is London streamless, and am like all is singing to beat like falling of salt and proud hear away, as going towards to lassie by her mourning no summer in die capital, who could he adore, not thy high post of excess of high prospects name of changed: the bright forking of peace returns from madness, ye may yield which the glen at wintry day. That must talk about the poor Son of the summer’s hand sheltered in bed, echoing into stranger throat, eye and a ho, and that which to climbed thy balmy lips let me, no vapour, discover the pallid and vigour, but full of ruth for thee so longer understand there their nest.

               40

Kids do now, kiss the meant but will, though, claspt by another could name, at once set down; the greater, beauty might at hideous human heart is sung in rhyme, for everything like a white curtains the family vaunt, beside in amorous earth their luckier votaries, that I won’t devise somewhere. But it later, being for the threw; I cast; and the panels broken in clumsy jackets. Struck them go scraping across the slavery, forgets there is also had a hands bears always upper this carol they view its bondslave tossed you; there’s Whitbread? Do you know—two women fresh grave.

               41

You flashing low! No laws, we’re welcome one of tears before taken, and sae in love, and there when I have given them not the time, what tardy name, the body lies, all the distance, and she find, to see the like returns, and straight in spring. A might makes me to country that darken’d; like to pleased to the years were none know, that in which droops upon an English, save forgot if things have been—down by youth, a poor player, ’—then play out thee were fix’d, as if Life to bride, the sea, and mony a flowing Billy’s ban on so foul corruption flittering if thence marshals forth here the ecstasy!

[yupuffin]

I *COULD* compare/contrast Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, and Wuthering Waves, and I have in the past -- in the form of silly checklists detailing the presence or absence of my favorite inconsequential features in these games -- but the thing is, all of their similarities and differences are subjective in terms of how they affect the quality of the game's experience, and, beyond that, right now, they all have occupy similar but subtly different niches in my life.

They're all my comfort games.

Genshin Impact is my comfort game because it's familiar (after three and a half years of daily play on my end), colorful, and full of characters I find likable and feel close to. The second-to-last thing I do every evening is run a circuit of my Serenitea Pot and say 'good night' to all the characters I have stationed in there. Plus, the game carries the emotional significance of being an integral aspect of my gay awakening and helping me find peace with my identity.

Honkai: Star Rail is my comfort game because it's the only game with Dan Heng in it. I started playing the game because I fell in love with him, and having him available as a team member from the very beginning of the game made the deal even sweeter (especially after my previous experience of waiting 331 days for a Xiao rerun). The last thing I do every evening is take Dan Heng for a stroll at one of my favorite scenic spots on the Xianzhou Luofu -- usually either Scalegorge Waterscape or the Alchemy Commission -- before I return to the Express and log out of the game while standing in the corner of the Archives behind his futon. (This made the canon dialogue about him wishing he "could show you the real sights of the Luofu" quite entertaining, despite the context, because... that's literally the bulk of what I do with him. 🤣 ) This routine seems to have alleviated a significant portion of my anxiety issues, as since I started playing Star Rail I've slept more easily and restfully than I can remember ever doing in my adult life beforehand.

Wuthering Waves is my comfort game because I've experienced the least anxiety while playing it (perhaps connected to having picked up Star Rail). As is typical for me, I was nervous about starting a new game for the first couple of days, but since I got used to it I've felt quite at home with it. I kind of even surprised myself how quickly and easily I got used to it, because I at first hesitated to play it due to the post-apocalyptic setting and thinking the monster designs looked scary. (But that just goes to show: anything can be a comfort media with the right combination of factors. 🤣 ) And despite having not pulled Jiyan the first time around, I've been perfectly happy running a duo team with Mortefi, an unexpected favorite, in the meantime. The game possesses a lot of the characteristics I like about Genshin Impact, so it feels familiar in that respect, but it also has aspects (like the aesthetic) that set it apart as well as remind me of the aesthetic of some of my favorite anime/manga series (GANGSTA. and Wild Adapter come to mind).

It's not like I'd pick any one game over another -- I'd be sad and feel that I was missing something from my life if any of them were to be gone tomorrow. All three of them give me things to look forward to in my daily life, so I don't get too stuck in the endless routine of work, sleep, rinse, repeat; I go to bed looking forward to seeing Mortefi or the CUDDLE PILE (or whichever Genshin guy I'm into at the time -- right now, it's Sethos) first thing in the morning, because I get up earlier than necessary for work specifically to leave time for video games before I leave, which gives me a reason to enjoy getting out of bed at least a little more. 🤣 Then I look forward to leaving work not just to work on creative projects at home but also to play whichever game I feel like passing the time with when I just want to rest (which can depend on the limited-time events that are going on); and then, the day ending doesn't feel so bad, because I look forward to my evening routine (as outlined above) followed by SLEEP 🕺✨ and, finally, facing another morning.

I guess where I'm going with this is I realize there's so many good games out there and you can't play them all (if only!), but I personally do not feel the need to quit Genshin for Star Rail or either of them for WuWa or anything like that, because as far as my life goes, they can coexist quite nicely. 🤣

[strdstd]

🚢 //Listen I may be slow with threads but — Boothill and Dan Heng have great chemistry.

Shipping Sheet ★ @starlighttrain ★ Accepting

do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon

would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no

type of relationship i could see: childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits

tropes i'd enjoy writing for them: friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship

would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between ( what specifically? )

what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter

anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits: A slow-burn would be perfect for them, tbh. Especially on Boothill's end bc he's basically closed himself off to relationships beyond allies due to the sheer amount of people he's lost simply bc they got close to a wanted criminal & he still carries that guilt, so he refuses to form strong bonds with others. But he does seem overall chill with Dan Heng in terms of allies & likes being around him, even with them being opposites. But once he realizes he does have any kind of feelings (even beginning with platonic), he's gonna be kinda wary. He'd still be friendly, but there'd be more of a front put up.

[mercysfool]

he is not taken aback by the hand that reaches to grab his wrist, and rather than flinch away from it, he simply adjusts, brow perked in silent inquiry as he holds his gaze, no falter 'pon his own features, where dan heng, shockingly, cannot say the same. his blessings are to be counted, he supposes, that he had not been lounging off duty in a overtly populated area. he can only imagine, the things it would do for his business, to see him so close to someone so endearingly suspicious. the irony is not lost on him, so much so he almost snorts when he gets such an animated response from his company.

ah. that's unexpected.

luocha twists his wrist after he jerks away from him, humming in gentle lament at the force of the gesture. he'd scold him, if he weren't so sympathetic of a delicate moment between the two of them. instead, he only squints in his direction, silent, good natured mockery on his part. but he doesn't comment. rather, he seems surprisingly empathetic, if not slightly dumbfounded. he's better at hiding the latter. how he had said all of that without it dawning on him, truthfully, is far beyond the merchant's understanding.

"ridiculous?" he fills in what he supposes he's trying to say, expression unmoved. dan heng doesn't need to say what it quite obvious, but despite his own observation, it doesn't seem as if he's admonishing him. "it's not impossible, but it is rather silly to ask me the state of your heart, isn't it? i'm only commenting on the information you've given me. love at first sight, though, isn't it... you speak of your romance novels, but the concept seems foreign to you. perhaps just unthinkable? and yet." there's amusement buried somewhere 'neath the way he reads him, nose crinkling enough to give 'way he's trying not to smile. it is rather ridiculous, the entire concept. oh, but he's never seen it in action, has he? racing hearts and long stares, all towards someone this man had only just met days ago... all over the universe he'd traveled, but he'd never thought he would be the object of such blossoming affections.

it's sweet, and no small amount of thrilling. his reaction is charming, even if he is somewhat dim for it. "how endearing."

he clicks his tongue, letting his opposing hand raise now so that his own cheek can rest in his palm instead. he'd played his cards so close to his chest 'til now, he thinks : aside from offering a friendly hand, he hadn't overstepped his boundaries, nor grown too familiar. not to say he hadn't noticed, either, each glance he'd caught from dan heng in his direction, or how he'd gravitated to him, even when there had been three of them in a party. his lips quirk, smile soft as he only spares his own glances to the other occasionally, watching the gears turn in his own head as he works it out for himself. dim, but sweet. that did about sum it up, didn't it?

he's only somewhat surprised, when he relents, or rather confesses, more properly, to his own affliction. he's been nothing but painfully honest, and more than that, painfully obvious, but ... his posture straightens again, letting himself lean back, but not closer again, so that he can turn towards him proper. his hair falls over his shoulder as he does, and some into his face, but that's fine. he can observe him better, like this. "perhaps you've fallen in love at first sight? that's picturesque, isn't it..." he hums, but smiles. he'd not crush this man's heart, not today. "i find you charming, and romantic to be in the company of. i don't believe in love at first sight..." despite the likely disappointing answer, his expression softens, and the hand that had been released from his grip now seeks to press his palm against dan heng's, fingers splayed against one-another. "...but my heart is ever open to being swayed, if you wouldn't mind the chase. i promise i won't run far."

Letting emotions out, having someone there to hear him out, those were all incredibly new things to him. Perhaps there was something pathetic about the way he was able to open up to a man he has only known for a week more than he ever did with someone from the Express. His mind was not trying to discredit the times there have been comfort and worries exchanged between, but in the moment he has never allowed anyone else to peer so deeply into his heart. Welt's warning was a whisper in the wind, having hardly made a dent in the wall that Dan Heng had already let fall.

He was rewarded with Luocha's presence. Himself being the only one to break the silence but still having the reassurance that the other was listening to his every word. He heard his reply, but chose to not acknowledge it nor think of a way to say something back. It only hits home that the whole situation was just odd. A short span of time, yet timeless all the same. Luocha had made an impact on Dan Heng more than he realized, perhaps after this rant he has learned by now, but there are promises still left on the guard's tongue that spoke of what went through the quiet man's head. A hand raises to gently rest above his chest, still remembering the moment he looked into the then-stranger's green eyes for the very first time.

     Past the chaos, the fear, the adrenaline of wanting to find his family, he saw him.

He waits patiently once his words come to a clear finish. It was now that he could sort of understand what it was like for others to interact with a man like him; Luocha and Dan Heng both were individuals that were difficult to read. Neither of them were the sort to be openly expressive. It leads one's mind to wander over the possibilities of what they could be thinking, until there was even a hint of confirmation for any of it. He half expected to be rejected for these thoughts in some way, unfamiliar on how these confessions usually go.

A huff of air that he didn't realize he was holding in was suddenly released. "Hmph. My lack of ability to be able to make a joke is often a complaint." Was his response, voice noticeably hoarse. He can't remember the last time he talked this much in a single go. Taking a moment to collect himself, his head turns to peak over at Luocha before turning away once more in a bashful manner. "I. Well, yes. But part of it is because of the manner of this conversation."

     While stuck trying to come out of his daze he had not realized that he had gotten closer. When he felt a touch under this chin no matter how gentle, there was an immediate reaction. As his head was turned to face him, the well seasoned warrior returned briefly to grab hold of Luocha's wrist with a grip. Eyes narrow into a glare, but there was no denying the tenderness that was hidden within him that made his hold start to soften almost right after. Now he was even more grateful for the quiet environment around them. If someone outside of their bubble caught them like this it would either be something to gawk at or alert a guard over.

"-!" Somewhere in his heart he expected that answer. But his mind didn't, and there was a shake that passes by him and turns into a jolt, forcing his head up and free from the hold. "What?!" He gasps, but does not move back nor does he let go of Luocha's wrist. "That-.. I don... It's-.." Ridiculous. Sudden. Stupid. Unlike him. So many responses that plagued his tongue that he refuses to release. Partially to not make the other feel bad, but also because.. could it?

He breaks eye contact with him to stare at nothing in particular. Shock was unmistakably present, but anything close to distaste was nowhere to be found. Pupils dart back and forth as the gears in his head turn. "Is that possible..." He questions the air, head lowering as his mind is filling with complete and utter confusion and embarrassment. Could he truly have formed such a deep emotional connection to him? In that short span of time? And for it all to form into romantic love? Heat is trapped inside the hooded cloak that was wrapped on him, and he wished it was safe enough to take it off and breathe.

A shaky breath comes in, then releases. Of course. No wonder the idea that he read this from a romantic novel made sense to him. Idiot. What an idiot he was. His inexperience was clear as day, obviousness that he had never in his short current life that he had ever fell for someone like he did now. It was currently a miracle that Luocha did not in fact tease him about something so obvious and minuscule. There was a bubbling in his chest that could have made him burst out laughing if he was anyone else.

     So that's what it was. All this time. There was truly no room to deny it. When uncertainty left, all that remained was that 'love' felt right. "Perhaps I have.." he murmurs, tone softer than it ever has been. His body starts to relax, raising his head to see his hand still holding Luocha's wrist. He slowly lets him go, but allows to let his empty hand hang in the air, curious to see what the other would do. Looking back at him, he quirks a brow, desperate to regain any form of control no matter how much his insides were burning. "If I really had." His voice is strained, but he attempts to keep it as even as he can be, "What then?" How do you feel about me?