#best headphones 2019

[healthabitshaven]

Unveiling the Secret of ASTRO Gaming A50 Wireless Headset Gen 4

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Experience legendary performance and sound of astro audio V2, with the convenience and freedom that comes without wires. The A50 wireless + base station for Xbox Series X|S, Xbox one & PC delivers premium acoustics (Dolby Atmos), ergonomics, comfort and durability that gamers demand. The all-new base station provides clear, low-latency voice communication, while making headset pairing and charging simple. The astro command center software allows pros and streamers to tune every input and output parameter of the A50 precisely for their specific setup. For even more flexibility, The optional A50 mod kit allows users to add synthetic leather headband ear cushions for improved noise isolation. Experience absolute audio immersion with the A50 wireless + base station. ASTRO A50 GEN 4 DESIGN Look, the Astro A50 Gen 4 resembles your a-typical gaming headset. It’s primarily made of plastic and there is nothing ultra premium about the design so don’t go expecting luxury for your money. The headphones are big, the plastic band across the top is hollow and the microphone is attached securely; as you would expect.

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[lqvesoph]

Brother’s best friend || LN4

gif by @princemick

summary: you’re carlos’ sister and know lando from your brothers time at mclaren but now a few years later feelings might change

a/n: this is literally just a small piece i wrote a few weeks ago

warnings: bit of suggestive talk, alcohol

taglist | masterlist

"When did he get so fine?", you whispered to Rebecca who nipped at her cocktail. "Hmm?", she asked, not having paid attention.

You nodded over to Lando who stood behind the DJ desk, white shirt and headphones on.

Rebecca smirked. "Go over", she said, pinching your side softly. You shook your head. "I can't, you know I can't. If Carlos finds out- and besides I don't think Lando would-", you stopped when you saw Rebecca looking at you with her brows furrowed and a be-fucking-for-real look.

"What??", you defended yourself. "That boy has been crushing on you since 2019, Carlos scared him away back then but I doubt he'll still listen now. He's not 19 anymore", Rebecca told you.

Your heart skipped a beat when she told you but you tried to ignore it. "He's still Carlos' best mate, he won't just betray his trust like that", you shook your head and took another sip from your straw while glancing over to Lando.

"Just get the fuck up and talk to him, it's exhausting watching you two admire each other from afar", Rebecca laughed and pushed you a little.

"Wait he's looking at me as well?", you asked, getting a little excited. She nodded. "Yes, as soon as you're not looking- now for example", she explained.

You turned your head to meet Lando's green eyes piercing into yours through the dark room of people.

You nodded, gripped your drink a little tighter and stood up.

"Hey", you called over the loud music, leaning over next to the DJ desk. Lando smirked and wriggled his brows as a way to greet you.

He asked you something but you couldn't quite make it out and only looked at him with a head shake and a lost expression.

Lando leaned over the desk so his lips were close to your ear. His necklace, hanging down from his neck, being the only thing you could focus on.

"What's in your drink?", he asked, his hot breath meeting your ear. "Vodka Lemon", you called into his ear. Lando leaned back a little and held out his hand, signaling you that he wanted to try a sip.

You knew 2019 Lando never liked alcohol, in fact you couldn't recall a time where you've ever seen him drink. But you wordlessly handed him your glass and let the boy take a sip.

To your surprise he didn't grimace in disgust but took another sip. You reached out for your glass again. "Heyy, get yourself your own", you joked.

Lando laughed and carefully handed you the glass once again, his fingers lightly touching yours.

"You ever stood behind a DJ desk?", he asked, pointing to the mess of buttons next to him. You shook your head.

He held one hand out and wriggled his fingers. "Come on then", he demanded with a smirk and led you to the side where you could enter the private space.

"It's okay, I know her", he told the guy standing next to the small entrance before pushing the hip-high door open and let you in.

"Mi amor", he joked and took your hand. You chuckled and followed him.

"It's so many buttons!", you called into his ear, gracing his cheek slightly with the tip of your nose. His arm draped around your shoulders.

From the close distance you saw his slightly flushed cheeks and glaced eyes, along with the messy curls better than before.

"Come on I'll show you", Lando laughed and handed you the pair of headphones from his head.

He carefully put them over one of your ears, leaving the other free so he could still talk to you. Then Lando grabbed your hand and placed one finger on one of the buttons.

A loud remix-like sound arised and you flinched a little because you could hear it much louder and more clear through the headphones.

"That's so cool!", you called and pushed the button again.

Lando's left arm was still wrapped around your shoulders, his right hand was holding yours and guiding you to press the right buttons in the right moments.

You didn't notice but from across the room your brother starred Lando down with his glares.

"Why is he standing so close to her? He's way too close", he grumbled, taking a sip from his straw. "Let loose, they're not kids anymore", Rebecca smiles, wrapping one arm around Carlos' waist.

"She's 20", he defended you. "Exactly, she's not a child anymore", Rebecca talked to him in a smooth voice.

Carlos nodded but a frown was still visible on his face.

"Why is he touching her like this?", he asked after a few seconds of silence, pointing to Lando's hand that was wandering lower on your back. "Carlos, stop it", Rebecca chuckled and pulled him down on the couch, next to her.

A shiver went down your back when you felt Lando's fingers pushing themselves slightly under your crop top. You leaned into him a little further.

"What are you doing?", Lando softly mumbled in your ear, his hot breath hitting my skin. "What do you mean?", you asked, acting oblivious but pushing yourself further into him.

Lando closed his eyes for a second and his grip tightened around your waist. "Darling-", he hissed. "Lando", you whispered back. "Your brother is watching us really carefully right now", he mumbled against your neck.

"Then let's leave", you suggested, your heart beating because you didn't know if you went to far but Lando's low groan gave you confirmation that he was more than okay to leave.

You quickly put down the headphones that Lando had previously placed on your head. You grabbed his hand and he immediately linked your fingers, his hand feeling warm in your own.

"Cabrón!", you heard a voice yell behind you, immediately recognizing it as your brothers.

"Run!", you whispered but reacted too late as Carlos had already grabbed Lando’s shoulder. "Where do you think you’re going?", he asked, a stern impression on his face.

"Barbados, so we can get married in secret", you replied, rolling your eyes at your older brother. Lando suppressed a giggle and raised his arms when Carlos eyes landed on him again.

"Just taking her out for a spin, I promise I’ll get her back in one piece", the curly headed driver said, standing his ground under the watchful eyes of Carlos Sainz.

Your brother kept mustering the boy until you snapped your fingers in front of his face. "Cut it off, I’m not a kid", you scolded your brother before grabbing Lando’s hand.

"We’re leaving, I’ll see you tomorrow", you yelled back towards your brother and dragged Lando out behind you.

As soon as the fresh air hit your face you turned around to face Lando, still having his hand in yours. "I heard you’re taking me for a ride?", you grinned.

"You know that was an excuse", he laughed but moved towards his car. "Figured, but I won’t pass up on the opportunity to take a ride in your Mclaren", you giggled, turning around and leaning your back against the car. "I might just use you for your car", you smiled innocently.

Lando smirked and came closer, his knee pushing between your legs and his lips almost touching yours.

"Careful, I said I’ll bring you back in one piece, I never said anything about your ability to walk", he muttered, grabbing your waist firmer and pressing his lips on yours.

[lalunalando]

White Knuckles - LN4

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

warnings: 18+! minors dni! smut, swearing, degradation if you squint, public, sex (p in v), fluff if you close one eye

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Another bad race weekend.

Another missed win because of shitty team strategy.

Lando was frustrated beyond belief after the Australian GP, sure he got another podium for the team so it’s not like it was the end of the world, but it was only 3rd place.

The top step belonged to his best friend and former teammate, Carlos Sainz, and he was more than happy to share the podium with him, in fact he preferred the comfort of having Carlos up there, but the issue was there were 3 spots up there on the podium.

Lando deserved the win, or even 2nd, but he was on the 3rd tier.

Behind the fucking red bull princess at her home race of all people.

Entering his regular gym back home in Monaco, all Lando wanted to do was work off the frustration.

He wanted to train until his brain turned to mush, his muscles hurt and he wasn’t thinking about HER anymore.

It’s not like he hated her, not really, but they’ve had a competitive rivalry since they competed as teammates in the lower formula series together.

Lando got his seat in F1 first, with McLaren picking him up in 2019 after seeing “immeasurable talent” in him, and he would never even dream of leaving the team that became a home for him.

But her? She might have started in F1 after him, but she was the Australian red bull golden girl from the moment she stepped foot into the paddock in 2021.

They called her “the viper” because on track she would strike fast at any gap she could take, and off track she was even quicker to bite back at media and gossip.

But to everyone who knew her outside of the media, to the fans she met and the people she worked with in the paddock, she was the sweetest person you’d ever meet.

And Lando hated how she had everyone wrapped around her finger, him secretly included.

Shoving his belongings into his locker and his headphones over his ears, he tries to push the thoughts of her out of his mind.

Her above him on the podium, her above him in bed, he couldn’t be thinking of his biggest rival on the grid like this.

His gym playlist blasting through the headphones, distracting him as he walks out of the locker room towards the weights, only stopping in his tracks when he sees her.

Running on the treadmill, zoned out listening to music, wearing a sports bra barely holding anything in and a pair of gym shorts small enough that they should be banned from being worn in public.

“So much for trying to stop thinking about her” he huffed quietly before making eye contact in the reflection of the giant gym mirror situated in front of the treadmill she was currently occupying.

Sweat glistening on her skin, an unimpressed look on her face with a hint of mischief behind her eyes as she made eye contact with him. Oh, he was so fucked.

“Norris, what a displeasure” She acknowledged his presence, slowly stopping the treadmill.

“Yeah well the feelings mutual” He responded with a roll of his eyes.

Seeing as it was a Tuesday, the gym was currently shared by only the two rivals.

All she did was smirk before putting her headphones back on and starting up the treadmill once again.

Huffing in annoyance, Lando turned towards the weights bench to start his workout. At least he could focus on that to distract himself from his biggest frustration sharing what he thought would be his safe space for a few hours.

Setting up for his first reps, he couldn’t help at peak at her through the mirrors reflection. Why did all these walls have to be giant mirrors, and why did she have to be here right now.

Lando got to work on his strength training, from bicep curls to weighted hip thrusts, he put all his energy into focusing on his workout. He had enough frustration from his disappointing race to fuel the fire within him, but what no one knew is that there was another type of frustration brewing inside the Brit.

Lando hadn’t been very active in the social scene lately, putting it down to “being too busy focusing on the upcoming races” to anyone who asked, but there was another factor at play.

A factor involving a few too many drinks after a successful double papaya podium, and the race winner who was currently inhabiting the gym with him, who denies remembering the night ever happened.

Finally breaking focus for a second, Lando decided to look in the mirrors reflection for a peak, what was the harm in a little look?

You were red in the face, almost looking like you would pass out at any moment as you pushed yourself harder and harder on the treadmill.

This concerned Lando immediately when he saw the state you were in, stopping his workout to go check on you.

“You know, it’s only us here, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone right now” he says as he approaches her side

Pausing her treadmill again and taking her headphones off to hear him, she takes a moment to catch her breath.

“Sorry Norris what was that? Some of us are trying to train here not just chat” she says with a huff

Lando doesn’t miss the way her chest rises and falls as she tries to bring back a normal breathing pattern, reminding him of how she looked that night after they-

“Hello earth to alien, did you need something or are you just being annoying?” She waved her hand infront of his face, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I was just saying you should take a break, you have nothing to prove in here, no need to push yourself to near blackout” He responded with another roll of his eyes.

“Some of us have very strict training regimes we need to stick to actually, if you want to be the best you have to train the best. The team said I was a starting to look a bit out of shape so they upped my training, no big deal.” She states matter-of-factly as she wipes some sweat off her body with her gym towel.

Out of shape? What were red bull on about? She was more in shape than 98% of the grid, having appearance pressure already constantly placed on her, so where the fuck was this coming from.

“You realise how insane that sounds right?” He scoffs

All she can do is tilt her head in response, confused by what he could even mean by that.

“You can’t seriously think they’re right, i mean, you’re literally one of the smallest people on the grid, and I’m not just talking about you and Yuki’s height” he continues.

Wrong time for her to be taking a mouthful of water, because that mouthful ended up all over Lando.

“LANDO, YOU CAN’T VIOLATE YUKI LIKE THAT” she bursts out in laughter.

“Well you just violated me by spitting your water all over me” he retorts, joining in laughing.

“Oh my god I’m sorry, here take my towel”

”no don’t worry, i was sweating anyway” he waves her off before taking his shirt off to dab himself down.

If she hadn’t been flushed red before, she certainly was now as she watched the way his slight abs glistened from sweat and now water under the gym lighting.

Admittedly the red in her cheeks when he had walked over wasn’t entirely from her workout, she would never openly admit it but she had taken a peak at him working out and felt flustered after watching how much weight he was lifting during his hip thrusts, making her mind run wild at the thought of how easy he could throw her around.

She couldn’t tell him that though, she couldn’t tell anyone.

Being the first female on the grid was an honor, getting to pave the way for future females in the sport, she would do anything to prove her worth.

But it had major downsides too, mostly her appearance always being under the microscope and always judged, but also the way she interacted with the other drivers.

The worst being her own teammate, they were very fortunate to get along as well as they did and becoming fast friends when she joined the team to partner him, but it meant that every friendly interaction they had got psycho-analyzed by fans and suddenly the rumor mill ran wild with stories of her “only having a seat because she was sleeping with her teammate” or “Max Verstappen cheating on his girlfriend with overly seductive teammate.”

Lando had almost fought Max once, getting so jealous that he couldn’t stop himself after a few shots for confidence.

Lando didn’t miss the way her eyes glazed over as she tried to check him out ever so subtly, causing a smirk to erupt on his face.

“Whatcha thinking about viper? You look a little red”

“Don’t flatter yourself Norris, I’m still just overheated from running” you tried to brush it off while stepping off the treadmill, rolling your eyes at him in the process.

“If you keep rolling your eyes at me baby, I’ll make them roll for another reason”

That stopped her in her tracks.

“Oh come on pretty girl, surely you’ve got some smart ass response to that” he pushed, bringing his hand up to move the piece of hair that had fallen infront of her eyes before trailing the back of his hand across her cheek and down her neck, continuing his flirtatious torture.

“No i was just thinking how funny it was that you think you could ever make my eyes roll, missionary doesn’t do it for me” she smirked back finally

“Funny, because i remember you begging me to let you cu-“ before he could finish his sentence, she was shoving his hand over his mouth to shut him up.

“Lando be so fucking for real right now, this” she said with wide eyes while pointing between the two of them “never happened okay?”

“If you really don’t remember, maybe I should give you a reminder” he smirked, before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the locker room before she could respond.

As soon as she was through the door behind him, he had her pushed against it as he fumbled to find the little lock on the door, his lips immediately on her neck.

“Lando we can’t, what if someone walks in” she whimpers as his hands glide around her rib cage before sliding down to grasp at her ass.

“So what? They see how pretty you look with your lips wrapped around my cock? How no one can ever make you cum like i can? Such a shame” he teased

“No Lando wait I’m serious, i can’t risk another scandal go around, you won’t cop shit for it like i will.” She said, placing her hands on his chest to push him off lightly.

“Is that the only thing stopping you right now?” He asked, finally understanding her a little more, understanding why she always denied their night together.

“I’m not blind Lan, i can admit to finding you attractive amongst how much you annoy me, but i can’t risk it” she responded with a sad laugh.

Without a second thought he grabbed her hand again and pulled her further into the room, towards the shower cubicles before shoving her into one and locking the door behind them, brushing past her to turn the shower on.

“Lan what are you-“

”You can still say no if you want to, but no one will catch us in here. The shower will muffle the sound and we may as well wash up since clearly neither of us are going back to working out now” he said, squeezing her hand to reassure her.

”no one will catch us” she said with soft eyes

“I’ll keep you safe” he responded before smashing his lips to hers.

Very quickly, they were stripping out of their gym wear before Lando backed them into the running water, turning so her back was against the wall.

Hands roaming over her now naked body, he couldn’t believe he was getting the chance to do this again.

His lips attached to her neck, and she couldn’t help the soft moans that slipped past her lips at how good it felt.

Hearing the pretty noises already spilling out from just a few bites, Lando couldn’t wait to see what he could pull out of her while his cock was buried inside her.

Painfully slow, Lando trailed his hand between the two of them to her heat. Running a single finger through her folds, he couldn’t help the smirk that formed feeling how turned on she already was for him.

“Look at you pretty girl, already so ready. What got you this needy baby?” He asked as he circled her clit with the pad of his forefinger, making it hard for her to respond in a coherent sentence.

“Y-you Lan, was thinking about you” she whimpered out

“me? What thoughts was that filthy little mind thinking about me huh?” He bit into her neck again, making her whine.

“Watching you lift the weights with your hips, was thinking about how I’d look on your lap” she panted out, reaching down to wrap her tiny hand around his cock that was resting between the two of them before giving it a few slow pumps.

“You’d look so pretty on my lap angel, too bad we don’t have time for that today” he groaned as he slipped his fingers back through her folds, before slipping two digits in without warning and curling them in just the right way it instantly drove her insane as they stretched her out.

“FUCK LANDO” she screamed out before dropping her head to his shoulder and biting down to keep quiet.

As her hand tightened around his cock, he increased his pace bringing her closer to the edge, his own high building

“Princess, as much as I want to drag this out as long as possible i don’t think I’m going to last, I’ve been waiting too long for this to happen again” he groaned

“Please Lando, please fuck me” she begged, fuck she’d drop to her knees right now for him if he asked.

He couldn’t wait another second after hearing that, taking his fingers out of her and flipping her around so that her chest was pushed against the tiled wall, kicking her feet slightly further apart to give himself better access.

“You’re going to have to be quiet baby girl, don't want anyone to know how good you’re taking me in here” he growled before plunging his cock into her without further warning.

She had to bite down on her arm that was holding her up to stop herself screaming in pleasure, Lando stretching her out all over again while his cock relentlessly pounds into her.

His fingertips gripping her hips so tight that they’d surely leave a bruise tomorrow, not wanting to think about letting her go anytime soon.

“Fuck do you know how often I’ve thought about using this pussy again? It’s all I’ve thought about since that night but even my memory doesn’t do it justice, i swear you feel tighter, like your pussy was made to perfectly grip my cock and only mine” he groaned out between pumps, feeling her pussy pulling him back in every time

“All yours Lan, it’s all fucking yours” she squeaks, feeling her orgasm approaching hard and fast as Lando basically bruises her cervix.

“Gonna cum for me pretty girl? Can feel your pussy getting tighter, gonna make me cum soon” he pants, kissing her shoulders and neck from behind her.

Lowering one hand down to find her clit again, he circles it with the perfect mix of pressure and speed, making her see stars.

“Please lan, need to cum, please let me cum” she begs as her legs start shaking, barely able to keep her up anymore.

“Good girl begging for permission, cum on my cock baby, scream my name so everyone knows who you belong to” he speeds up his already brutal assault on her pussy.

With that, she’s screaming out as she clamps down on his cock, almost dropping to the floor in pleasure, only held up by Lando’s grip on her hips.

That’s all it took for Lando to come undone, hearing the pretty screams coming out of her mouth, he was pulling out and pumping his cum onto the swell of her ass.

After they both came down from their highs, Lando took great pride in making sure she was taken care of, helping gently wash her skin while peppering little kisses over her shoulders.

“So, your biggest worry is people starting rumors about you with other drivers?” He asks sincerely

“It gets tiring always being called a home wrecker and a whore just because you were seen interacting positively with another driver, the PR team assure me it’s fine but i feel like such a burden on them that they’re always having to deal with it” she sighs, leaning back against his chest

“What if you were just seen with one driver from now on? Would that be an issue?” He quietly presses

She turns around, quirking an eyebrow at him in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like i did this very backwards, but I’ve been wanting to ask you on a date since we met, even more so after that night back in Texas, so would that be okay?” He asked, all confidence suddenly leaving him as he waited for a response.

“I mean, I’d probably have to clear it with the Red Bull PR team, but I’d love nothing more” she responds with a bright smile.

[motorsportbarbie13]

What's A Soulmate? Part 4

In which you finally come back home.

Warnings: alcohol use. angst. Pairing: Lando Norris X SainzSister!Reader Word count: 1.9k plus social media posts

- What's A Soulmate? - Part 1 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2.5 - What's a Soulmate - Part 3 - Master List

LittlestSainzSis honey, i'm home. user433 isn't it weird she's working for McLaren and not Ferrari??? >>>user3928 nope! hope this helps! user2918 press officer job right out of school? must be nice being a nepo baby >>>user328 she literally worked for Carlos and Lando for two years before going to uni at NYU??? And she has a double degree in PR and business??? >>>usesr322 just say you're jealous next time, it'll be quicker. McLaren So glad to have you back in the paddock!!

LittlestSainzSis fast cars go vroom OscarPiastri so you're who Zak was yelling at to get behind the barrier over the radio??? >>>LittlestSainzSis oops!

LittlestSainzSis that feeling when you wake up and realize it's race day!! user3928: face card never declines user298: blah blah, proper name, place name, back story stuff LandoNorris: don't let that cute face fool you, she was yelling at Oscar and I ten seconds after I took this. >>>LittlestSainzSis neither of you were listening!!! God, this is 2019 all over again, isn't it? >>>user992 ariana what are you doing hereeeeee??? >>>user9383 seriously the first time Lando's in the comments in literal years. tf??? >>>user938 so we're all just going to ignore him calling her cute??? okay???

LittlestSainzSis the boys are ready for race day!!! McLaren best press officer award goes to you bby! >>>user382 admin is unhinged today, I see user0392 i just love seeing Lando back on her feed. >>>user3938 seriously. i feel like mom and dad are back together again. >>>user3844 i'm so glad i don't have to be a child of divorce anymore.

LittlestSainzSis caught someone being a grumpy gills today during the presser. LandoNorris i was probably hungry >>>LittlestSainzSis i think oscar had just told you he was getting sushi with Lily tonight and you got all pouty >>>user948 not her selling out Lando in the comments user938 Chaos Gremlins back to terrorizing paddock! war is over!

Miami May 2024

“Fifteen times Lando Norris has stood on the podium, but never on the top step, until now! It’s a landmark day for Lando! Lando Norris wins for the first time in Formula One! It’s victory in Miami for Norris and McLaren! The British drivers dream is realized and at the 110th attempt, he’s done it! He’s won it! Look what it means to Zak Brown! At long last, Lando is your winner!” 

Tears stream down your face as you listen to Alex Jacques call the end of the race in your headphones, his voice filled with glee and excitement that matches the feeling in the McLaren garage. After yesterday’s DNF for Lando, it had been pretty doom and gloom on his side of the garage. 

Your heart had ached when you caught sight of him that afternoon, sitting in the glass enclosed conference room that the team used to go over race data. He had been all alone, spinning aimlessly in one of the chairs, face drawn and shuttered. You had wanted to go to him then but hadn’t worked up the courage. 

Things were still…delicate between the two of you. After that first night in Australia, Lando had kept his promise to win your friendship back. You more often than not found your morning coffee order sitting at your desk waiting for you during the week with a silly note written hastily on a posit in his chicken scratch writing that only you seemed to be able to decipher. 

A few treats and free coffee weren’t going to be enough to bring back that casual intimacy that you and Lando had though, you both knew that. The walls you had built up so high around your heart designed specifically for the British driver were still solidly in place and you refused to go running back into his arms so easily. 

And then, Miami happens.

The hot sticky humidity clings to your skin as you watch Lando climb out of the car behind the black and white number 1 sign, the first time he’s been able to park his Formula 1 car right in the middle of parc fermi. You’re not entirely sure where the humidity of Florida ends and the tears still falling from your eyes begins, you’re such a mess. 

If you were to think too hard about it, the fact that you were a complete puddle of jumbled up emotion would surely scare you a little. Those walls, they couldn’t be crumbling now, could they? They couldn’t be slowly tumbling down, allowing for the while possibility of allowing Lando back into your life like he had been before? 

You don’t have time to get too lost in those dangerous kinds of thoughts though because soon after he hops off the car, he’s running straight over to the garage crew and leaping into their waiting arms. He’s waited for so long for this, so many poor performances, so many mistakes and problems with the car had sent him spiraling for so many years. There had been too many nights you had spent with him when he was barely more than a teenager, sat on the floor lamenting about how shit his car was, how shit his driving was, and if he was destined to be one of those midfield drivers that never won anything in their career. 

All of those doubts are erased now and your tears are falling again as the weight of what he’s done settles over the paddock. His engineers and mechanics eventually place him back down on the ground and he’s hugging Zak next, the CEO of McLaren more of a father figure to him by now. Will gets a hug too, his engineer since he joined the team five years ago. 

And then, icy blue green eyes snag yours and everything else falls away in a muted hush. He’s smiling at you, that megawatt grin making his eyes crinkle up at the corners. It’s one of those genuine Lando smiles that you haven’t been on the receiving end of for far too long. Your heart stutters to a stop when you realize you’re his next target. What is he doing? You think frantically, mortified that you’re about to be the center of attention if he does what you think he’s going to do. 

And he does. He throws his arms around your shoulders and buries his head deep into the crook of your neck, a move that has camera shutters clicking furiously all around you. You, of course, instantly find your arms wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing him to you despite the metal barrier between you. 

“You’re here.” He sounds surprised that you’d miss this moment. 

“Of course I am. My best friend just won his first Grand Prix.” You whisper into his ear as the crowd continues to grow louder. 

Lando pulls back then, tears shining in his eyes. The weight of your words settle on his shoulders and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look at you the way he is now. He tucks a strand of hair that’s fallen out of your pony tail behind your ear, looking at you like you’ve hung both the moon and the stars in the sky just for him. “I’m so glad you got to be here for this, pretty girl.” 

God, that nickname. It’s the first time you’ve heard it in years and it does significant damage to those carefully constructed walls. 

You smile up at Lando, a little bashful that everyone is watching you two talk so closely together. He returns the smile before turning around to answer a question from one of the officials. He needs to take care of post race inspections, which he does but not before turning back and tossing a wink at you over his shoulder. 

LittleSainzSis It has been a pleasure and privlidge watching you grow over all these years. Life may have taken us in different directions over the last few years but when I say there is no place I would have rather been this afternoon, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Your friendship means the entire world to me, Mr. Norris. I'm so proud of you. One win down, so many more to go. LandoNorris so glad you got to be there today, pretty girl xo >>>user948 WE GOT A PRETTY GIRL COMMENT. >>>user0383 i can die happy now user0832 i'm sorry but guys, she literally just friendzoned him so hard in that caption. >>>user9383 yeah, poor lando

LittlestSainzSis You're going to smell like champagne for weeks LandoNorris worth it user948 EXCUSE ME WHAT IS THAT FACE. explain yourself lando norris. user928 did we mean to post this on main ma'am??? user9482 @/littlestsainzsis giving us what we all crave: lando thirst traps. >>>littlestsainzsis don't say i never give you guys anything ever again ;) >>>user9482 omg hi queen

LittlestSainzSis find yourself a man that looks at you like Lan looks at that trophy user0382 LANNNN??? >>>user9484 I am unwell CarlosSainz He's sleeping with it tonight, isn't he? >>>LandoNorris who told you that??? user9383 i feel like i'm interrupting something here... user0309 this picture is...a choice...

The music of the Miami night club pulses through your body as you sink deeper and deeper into the VIP booth later that night. Lando hadn’t given you any room for arguments after all the media duties were done. You were coming out with him and the rest of the team to celebrate. You had barely tried to refuse, not giving him much of a fight because you secretly wanted nothing more. 

Now you sat in the leather booth situated high up in the dark Miami Beach night club that had invited Lando out the moment he had crossed the finish line earlier in the day. There were what felt like thousands of people, most of them were there to celebrate with Lando, hoping to get a glimpse of the driver. 

Alcohol burns at the back of your throat, blurring your vision nicely as you wait for Lando to return from the bar. You had insisted that he wasn’t the one who should be making drink runs tonight but he had insisted on getting you another one and hadn’t taken no for an answer. Carlos is sat next to you, nursing a drink while talking to Charles on his other side.

A small glass is set down in front of you, drawing your attention away from the DJ booth, where you had been starting. 

“Vodka sprite for my pretty girl.” Lando murmurs in your ear, the words sending a cool shiver up your spine.  

You desperately tamp down the way that being called his makes you feel. You cannot be going down that road. Not now when the friendship between the two of you is so fragile. You knew what it was like to lose him in your life and you weren’t sure if you were willing to risk losing him again. 

The same worries you had back before it all went sideways worm their way back into your consciousness. He was too important to you, too integrated into your soul that when he disappeared, it left you broken in a million pieces. You couldn’t risk that again. This had to be strictly platonic between you if it was going to work. You couldn’t afford to lose your best friend again. Those walls around your heart needed to be reinforced and brought back into working order because there was no way you could let this happen. 

“Dance with me?” The question is a husky one, whispered in your ear so no one else is privy to it. 

You know it’s dangerous. You should say no. But the vodka already in your system convinces you that it’s fine. It’s just Lando. So against your what your sober self would consider the best judgement, you feel yourself nodding, allowing Lando to tangle his fingers with yours and pull you out onto the dance floor. 

If you had been paying better attention, you would have seen the looks Carlos and Charles exchanged behind your back. They were well aware of the frosty relationship that Lando and you had over the last few years and this was a development no one had seen coming but everyone had been hoping for all the same. 

The EDM beats are strong and sensual as Lando leads you out onto the floor, hand firmly gripping yours. He finds an open spot and pulls you towards him, the heat of his body radiating off of him in waves. His hands land on your hips, fingertips gripping at your skirt a little harder than really necessary. You shouldn’t want this. Shouldn’t want his hands on your hips, his breath mingling with yours, his curls so dangerously close that you could easily rake your fingers through them. You shouldn’t and you can’t because he’s left you before and he could do it all over again. He’s abandoned you and didn’t come back and every sane thought in your body is screaming at you that this man is dangerous. He is dangerous to your heart and your head is thrashing around so loudly but it’s drowned out by the music. 

You simply can’t fight it when he pulls you impossibly closer, hands sliding from your hips lower, lower, lower until it’s almost indecent. The alcohol blurs the edges of your usually sharp judgement and it’s not helped by the fact that this man seems to have cast a spell over you. You can’t want this. Can’t love how the weight of his hands feel on your skin. Can’t adore how his lips tick up at the edges when he sees you walk into the garage during a race weekend. 

This is Lando after all. Your best friend. Your best friend who abandoned you once and had only barely just come back begging for forgiveness. You can’t allow him to knock down those walls so quickly, can you? 

His lips flutter over the damp skin at your temple, dusting the slightest kiss there, almost as if it’s a test. A test to see if you push him away or allow him in. 

A test that you fail. 

Because the moment his lips touch your skin, it feels like a bucked of ice water has been splashed over your head and you realize what the fuck you’re doing. Its too hot. Too close. Too much and you simply can’t have him touching you anymore. No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. Panic races through you as you stumble back out of his arms, logic finally winning out over your own heart’s stupidity. 

The delicate balance you had struck with him shatters in an instant because you both knew there was supposed to be more between you but you’re desperately scared and Lando is so wretchedly full of regret he can’t stand it. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all you manage to choke out before fleeing. 

Tag List: @anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16

(Some of the tags aren't working? LMK if you want to be added/removed but I'm like 99% certain I have everyone!)

[hotgirlssupportlando]

one day x lando norris pt 4

this is a part of my series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and lando's lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. ofc not a smooth ride with some angst and fights along the way. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing. read first part here pairing: lando norris x fem!reader summary of this part: y/n attending lando's first home race in f1, but her expectations weren't really met warnings: kinda sad :( wc: 1,4k a/n: probably a couple of sad parts now in this series but bear with me!! a one day -series can't only be rainbows and butterflies hehe

summer of 2019

Silverstone Circuit, England

y/n was beyond excited getting her invite from lando to attend his first ever home race in f1. she couldn’t believ that the random boy she had met a few years ago now was one of the top twenty drivers in the world. seeing her best friend advancing in the sport truly made her proud, who would’ve thought he’d be going this far? since day one she had always supported her friend both on track and at distance, nowadays most through late night facetime calls as she was still in Edinburgh studying and Lando traveling all around the world. 

however, now after being months apart the pair would finally meet again and oh my, was she excited!! she couldn’t help but smile sitting in the taxi on her way to silverstone, headphones in listening to her and landos shared playlist. she fiddled with her mclaren paddock pass that already, proudly, was hanging around her neck, closely reading (for maybe the hundredth time) that all the personal information was correct, it would be just typical lan to spell something wrong and causing her trouble. as soon as the paddock pass had arrived in the mail at her uni dorm she had started planning her outfit, carefully picking out clothes and accessories that would perfectly match the colours on the pass. as the self-conscious being she was, she wanted to be prepared, not wanting to make a fool of herself or lando by turning up as a girl who didn’t look like she belonged there.  

now she was sat stroking her new white dress, contemplating whether it was too boring or too much, and what would lando think, would he like it? and why didn’t she take the other dress instead, it would have looked much better! her mind was racing, overthinking every little thing that came to mind and her worries quickly aggravated looking outside the cab window at all the beautifully looking fans that stood waiting outside the paddock hoping to see their favourite drive appear from one of the taxis. oh well, she thought, there’s nothing i can do about it now. she took a deep breath before exiting the car, shyly walking toward the entrance where she blipped her paddock pass and quickly rushed away headed towards the big mclaren sign in the distance. overwhelmed by the situation she just wanted to see lando, knowing that his presence would calm her nerves.

after some walking she finally arrived at the mclaren hospitality, almost immediately spotting jon, lando’s trainer. ”hi we’ve only seen each other through facetime but i’m y/n l/n, landos friend”, she said approaching jon. ”oh hello, i thought i recognized you from somewhere!” he smiled, ”you’re probably looking for lando?”. y/n nodded smilingly. jon looked around a bit worried, telling her that he should be here somewhere but that his schedule had been a bit hectic this race day morning. she was offered to wait in the hospitality while jon was gonna go tell lando that she had arrived. with a good mood she went and grabbed a tea, sitting at a table that overlooked mclaren’s part of the pit lane. 

after scrolling a bit on her phone and texting her friend, she saw in her periphery, more specifically in the garage, a familiar looking boy. he was giving some fangirls a tour around the garage, letting one and one test sit in his car. he looked so happy, being in his element. after a short while jon approached lando, and by his lips y/n could read something about her arrival. landos reaction was cute, he seemed excited that she was there but didn’t seem ready to come meet her just yet. y/n was just glad she had seen him at a distance and didn’t mind waiting for some time longer, she had already waited several months so what harm could another hour do?

if it only had been an hour or two or even three.. patiently she sat waiting, looking at the clock seeing it was nearly time for race preparations. nope, she thought, if she wanted to see him she would need to take it into her own hands, and that’s what she did. confidently she walked the same route she had seen jon take to the garage and after getting lost a couple times she found a visitor friendly spot. at the same place other high paying fans were stood looking at the team doing their pre race preparations. lando, as the kind boy he was, of course greeted the fans and let them take pictures with him. shortly after he spotted y/n who stood with a huge smile and open arms to greet him in an usual hug, but she wasn’t met by the same excitement. a rather cold and quick hug was what she got, from a boy that felt unexpectedly unfamiliar. a bit caught of guard by the reception and embarrassed by the amount of people that had seen this awkward encounter she felt like running far away. somehow she managed to still ask lando if their agreed meetup after the race was still on, to which she received a short ”yeah, sure”. 

stunned from the whole situation she went back up to the hospitality and watched the race in some kind of haze. wtf was that? she didn’t have to be here, lando was the one that invited her there, didn’t some good old kindness include in that package? presumably not then. her thoughts wandered, shocked that the boy she had known for years abruptly was someone totally else, just because they weren’t alone, the two of them, as they usually was. or was she overreacting? maybe it wasn’t that bad. or maybe this was her fault? she could’ve put a bit more makeup on and change the dress so that she would’ve been prettier, maybe that was the problem, that she wasn’t as pretty as the other girls in the paddock. 

in the middle of her overthinking someone patted her on the shoulder making her jump of fear out of her seat. ”sorry sorry sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you” a familiar voice half laughed, half tried to sound serious. she turned around meeting a pair of kind brown eyes, it was carlos sainz she remembered, lando’s teammate. ”are you waiting for someone?” he asked. y/n looked at the clock, it was late, somehow she had been thinking about her own problems so long that she hadn’t noticed that the race was done ages ago and that the other hospitality guests had gone home. ”oh yeah, i was waiting for lando, he’s my friend, but i guess he has forgotten about me.. again” y/n said not covering her disappointment very well. carlos smiled compassionately, like he understood, ”i’m sorry.. i remember when i was new to f1, everything’s so new and exciting that sometimes the one’s that has been with you from the start gets left behind..”. ”well, thats assuring” y/n laughed quietly as she felt her eyes tearing up. ”noo sorry, y/n was it? i didn’t mean to upset you, what i meant to say was that in the beginning you get kind of caught up in the fame and girls running after you, but when you settle in to the sport you sooner or later understand who the real one’s are” he said and gently hugged you afterwards. y/n sniffled after the hug ”well i hope so.. this wasn’t at all what i expected from this day” she sighed walking towards the door out of the hospitality. ”i’m certain he will come around, some new drivers take more time than others to realize that all the new attention is just empty and fake, nothing that can compare to a girl that waited the clock around to hopefully see her friend” he smiled trying to cheer y/n up. a small smile cracked on her face as she thanked him whilst they walked out of hospitality together. 

they didn’t have to walk very far before she heard lando’s familiar laugh, y/n turning around to spot lando in the distance, flirting with some very beautiful girls, noticing how he didn’t have a thought in the world about his old friend. she felt her heart sink and eyes tearing up again, was she really that forgettable? if anything, it only confirmed all her self-conscious thoughts. carlos that was walking beside her noticed the same as her and immediately connected his eyes with y/n’s, giving her a compassionate look while hugging her from the side. ”don’t you worry darling, remember my words”

_____

taglist

@amberpanda99 @phantomxoxo @landossainz @chezmardybum @lan4cha16 @tvdtw4ever @starlit-skiessss @dorothea47

[struwberrii]

haikyuu!! at an american high school ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

here are my silly headcanons on how i think the karasuno first years would act if they were american high school students teehee

pt.2 pt.3

ヽ(^◇^*)/

hinata

probably runs to lunch

one of those dorky try hards in gym

wears matching neon nike shorts and tops

literally cries if he ever gets in trouble in class

water bottle flips randomly (he never lands it)

his mom drops him off at school every morning

jumps to touch the top of every doorframe

everyone judges him and thinks hes weird but hes gen the sweetest guy if you ever talk to him

he has a phone he just cant bring it to school guys

offers to do stuff first when the teacher asks (like brings attendance to the office or asks other teachers for dry erase markers)

middle school humor (hes kinda funny sometimes tho lol)

kageyama

lets you copy his homework because he knows its all wrong (or gives you wrong answers on purpose)

wears hoodies everyday even during summer

scared to put lip balm on in public because someone once asked if he was gay because of how he applied it

friends with hinata but is kind of embarrassed of him

girls actually like him but dont talk to him because hes so quiet

probably talks to girls from different schools

plays roblox with the others when they have breaks during practice (he hasnt updated his avatar since 2016)

still reads strictly picture books

also a try hard in gym

still does streaks on snapchat

tsukishima

refuses to acknowledge hinata and kageyama outside of volleyball club (he thinks theyre embarrassing)

constantly gets in trouble for having airbuds in or being on his phone

tries putting girls onto his niche music taste then its just cigarettes after sex

if you arent one of his friends or a pretty person hes probably gonna be rlly mean to you im sorry

has hot topic pins on his bag (yamaguchi forces him to shop there with him and tsuki always ends up walking out with a new pin)

dresses very basic but still nice

bros a bully

tries to correct teachers and make the teacher look dumb

if he can tell he actually hurt your feelings he'll say it was just a joke and gaslight you

him and yamaguchi just talk shit all lunch and study period

walks to like mcdonalds for lunch sometimes

yamaguchi

bully on the DL

the only reason people know hes mean is because tsuki is his best friend

always has fruit for lunch

probably in band and plays literally the biggest instrument in the world

he always smells weirdly minty

has the silliest stickers on everything, his notebooks, laptop, headphones

bought sonny angels for him and tsuki

everyone thinks hes gay

him and yachi are art class buddies

brings his switch to school sometimes

rides his bike to school

lowkey stuck in his 2020 indie phase

yachi

has the cutest stationary

takes all her notes on her ipad and has that paper texture screen protector

ali express warrior

shes the sweetest girl in school

probably a closeted lebanese

already has her drivers permit (probably gonna be the first person in her grade with a license)

packs her own lunches everyday in bento boxes

has a private instagram account with like 20 followers and declines everyone she doesnt know personally

always has lotion, gum, perfume, medicine, chargers, everything. she is not taking any chaces

shes like if the 2019 soft girl pinterest aethetic became a person

reminds teachers about the homework

secretly watches youtube during class

she does NOT play about her art projects

her and yamaguchi trade stickers

probably still uses that 2019 kanken vsco bookbag

⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

sorry guys half of this list is just me being an extreme hater and projecting

[atzjieun]

kimchi stew

summary | seonghwa gets a surprise right after waking up

circa | november 2019

contains | 0.7k words, fluff, just a cute seongji moment

note | trying out a shorter scenario for a change!

For the first time in a while, Seonghwa woke up late. 

Being thrust right into endless practices for their year-end performances right after comeback promotions must have taken more of a toll on his body than he thought. The first thing he noticed after grabbing his phone was the time, cringing at the fact that it was already past noon and he’d only just woken up. Luckily, the only thing he had scheduled for that day was a group practice meant to take place in a couple hours, so he still had some time to get some other things done before then. 

Seonghwa rolled out of bed, letting out a yawn as he walked out of his room. The moment he stepped into the hallway, he was hit by the pleasant smell of food that floated around the entire apartment. Curious, Seonghwa made a detour toward the kitchen. 

Standing at the sink was Jieun, donning a blue apron over her pajamas and bright yellow rubber gloves. Her headphones were on, obliviously humming along to whatever song she was listening to while scrubbing a cutting board. 

A smile made its way onto Seonghwa’s face as he stepped into the kitchen, waiting a few seconds before tapping the girl on the shoulder. Jieun turned her head in surprise before pulling off one of her gloves, using her free hand to take her headphones off. 

“Hi oppa,” she greeted him with a small smile. “Sleep well?” 

Seonghwa nodded, glancing over at the pile of clean dishes, noting the various pots and pans on the drying rack. “Did you cook something?” 

“Just kimchi stew,” Jieun replied. “The others left early so they’re just going to eat out.” 

She quickly avoided his gaze and put her glove back on. He nodded slowly as she went back to scrubbing the cutting board in her hands. Although suspicious, Seonghwa refrained from inquiring further. 

“Alright,” he said. “I’m just going to wash up, then let’s eat together.” Jieun gave a small hum, not sparing him a glance. 

“Ok.” 

By the time Seonghwa got back from the bathroom, Jieun had already finished washing the dishes and set up the table for the two of them. She sat in her chair, patiently waiting for the boy to take his own seat. The pot of kimchi stew was placed in the middle of the table, still steaming along with the two plates of rice. 

“Thanks for cooking, Jieunie,” Seonghwa said with a grateful smile as he transferred some of the stew onto his plate. Jieun just hummed, eyes focused on her own plate, though she’d occasionally sneak glances up at the boy to see his reaction to her food. His eyes lit up as he took his first bite. “This is really good!” 

A shy smile spread across her face, which she tried to conceal as she took a bite herself. Jieun nodded, her shoulders relaxing a bit before she continued to eat. 

The two sat in silence for a while, though Seonghwa couldn’t shake the feeling that the girl was hiding something. He’d feel her eyes on him as he ate, though when he looked up, she’d immediately turn back to her food.  

Eventually, curiosity got the best of him, and he spoke up. 

“Alright, what’s up?” Jieun glanced up at him mid-chew with a confused expression. “It feels like you wanna say something.” 

She swallowed her food before looking back down at her plate, pushing her rice back and forth with her spoon.

“No, I’m good.” 

Seonghwa leaned back in his chair, raising an eyebrow at the girl. Slowly, she lifted her head, eventually meeting his gaze. After a few seconds of back and forth eye contact, Jieun sighed and put her spoon down. 

“You always make me lunch,” she said quietly, playing with her hands in her lap. “And you’ve been working so hard lately, so I thought I’d make you food.” 

After a second of processing what she said, a warm smile spread across Seonghwa’s face. 

“That’s really sweet of you, Jieunie.” 

The girl shrugged in response, as though she was dismissing her own actions. “You always do it for me.” She picked up her spoon, hesitating for a moment before going back to eating. Seonghwa watched the girl with a fond expression.

“Thank you,” he eventually said. “I really appreciate it.” 

Jieun only gave a single nod, though Seonghwa noticed the slight tinge of red in her ears as the girl carried on eating. His gaze lingered on her for a couple more seconds before he picked up his own spoon, allowing the two to continue their meal in comfortable silence.

taglist: @teezingsiyeon

[imsadstuff]

Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life and humor Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy with university stuff. This took a lot of time and energy, so I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do please leave me a like or comment, please don't be a ghost reader! Word Count: 28k+ (I reccomend reading on a desktop if possible!) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, and just a whole lot of fluff.

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

AO3 link incase you prefer that: here

Race 16 Singapore Grand Prix 2019

Race weekend is always exciting, especially when it is a night race. The city felt alive as the crowd buzzed around, ready for the race to start. Walking beside your father, you stop periodically as he stops and talks to a million people through the paddock.

The Ferrari garage is buzzing with tension as your father goes up and pulls your brother in a tight hug, “Lets win, just like last year!” your father is gleaming with pride thinking of your brother’s glorious win in Singapore last night.

“How did the doctors go?” Philip asks as you kiss his cheek, after a shattered ankle, back injury and multiple head injuries a year ago, doctor visits have been regular for you.

“There’s progress, I might go back on ice again” you reassure him and he gives you a big, pleased smile. Phillip soon gets back in the car as everyone gets ready to race, he looks at home in the car.

“The two-time world championship winner Phillip Lee is starting at pole position followed by the other ferrari and mercedes” the commentator's voice booms in your headphones as you look at the cars line up.

“It’s an important race for ferrari to maximise points. The mercedes team feels weak today as their lead driver has to sit out of the races due to sickness. The replacement is mercedes reserve driver Jeon Jungkook, starting at P10” the camera pans to a new face for you, you’ve heard Jungkook’s name a few times, after he almost won the Formula 2 championship last year. 

Jungkook feels like he’s given a unique and once in a lifetime opportunity when he was asked to fill in for Hamilton. His dreams of driving for a formula 1 team have felt impossible as he was still out of a contract mid-way through the season, this race is his opportunity to show how deserving he is of a seat.

You can feel your heart beat loudly as the countdown starts and within a blink of an eye the cars are zooming through. You’ve seen a million races by now, but each gives you the same adrenaline rush, you wonder how great it’s for the drivers.

Usually, the race would be focused on Hamilton and Phillip fighting to be the lead, but tonight the mid field seems to be more intriguing. “Oh, he’s fast, so fast” your father says as you watch the 14 number car zoom through the midfield. “What is my current position?” Jungkook asks as he starts lap number 30. “P 5, that was the fastest lap of the race. Keep out on turn 6, there might be some debris” his engineer says and Jungkook can feel a migraine coming, but he pushes through.

The crowd is visibly in awe as Jungkook zooms through the other mercedes car, just behind the two ferraris. “Jungkook, 2 seconds behind you and he’s catching up fast, mode push” the engineer tells Chuck, the other ferrari driver as he groans. The two of them go tire to tire for two turns until Jungkook finally takes over and you aren’t proud but you’re cheering against your brother right now. “Fantastic overtake Jeon, let’s push and try our best” Jungkook engineer says and Jungkook asks, “Who’s ahead of me?” “Phillip, five seconds ahead, the focus is to keep dodging Chuck” “Copy”

Everyone’s literally holding their breath as the race enters the last five laps. Jungkook has been struggling to keep off Chuck but it’s the final two laps when Jungkook goes from fast to, extraordinarily fast.

“Fuck!” your father and multiple engineers in the ferrari garage groan as Jungkook successfully manages to overtake Phillip. “Today’s race is going to be one we’re going to remember for the rest of our lives. Currently the driver from South Korea who started at P 10 has managed to end up at P 1, his skills have surprised everyone as he continues to dodge the two-time world champion Phillip” the commentator says and Jungkook enters the final lap of the race. There is a moment at turn 7 when Phillip almost overtakes him, but Jungkook keeps his position.

“This has been one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in the last twenty years of F1 history. A twenty-year-old rookie driver is finishing in the pole position in his first ever formula one race” the commentator says and your father groans as Jungkook crosses the chequered flag.

“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, FUCk” Jungkook’s voice is barely audible over the radio as the crowd cheers for him and he sobs behind his helmet. “Right ahead park at the P 1 slot Jeon, this has been a life changing race mate!” Jungkook’s engineer sounds elated as the mercedes Jungkook is driving comes to a halt.

You watch through the tv as Jungkook barely gets out the car, the world watches as he sobs, placing his head by a tire, his body feels drained yet he feels like he’s at the top of the world. 

Phillip isn’t in the best of the moods as they arrive for the press interviews post the celebrations. But he still turns to Jungkook to congratulate him on the win as they sit down for press interviews.

“So Jungkook, the smile doesn’t seem to be disappearing off your face any time soon. How does it feel to finish at a pole position in a race you ended up in because of Hamilton being sick?” an interviewer asks enthusiastically and Jungkook adjusts his cap before answering.

“It feels surreal, like I’m going to wake up any moment and realise all this was a very vivid dream. I knew when I got a call this Thursday that this was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I just wanted to make the most of it” Jungkook is visibly happy as he talks.

“You’re still looking for a seat for 2020 season, offers must be lining up after tonight” another interviewer directs a question towards Jungkook and he takes a deep breath before answering, “I’m cautiously optimistic about my chances of driving next season. Being that it’s mid-season and a lot of teams and locked up their line up for the next year, let’s see what happens”

“Question for Phillip, how do you feel about the 2020 season with a high possibility of Jeon joining a team and racing you next year” and interviewer asks and Phillip chuckles before answering, “Excited honestly, today was one of the most tough race for me of the season and Jeon pushed me to my absolute limit and competent competition like him is what brings out the best in me as a driver”

Jungkook finally catches a breath as he sits down for dinner with his parents and manager. “So, we have an offer from McLaren, they want you to get the feel and spend time at their garage at the next race” His manager says as he barely chews the rice. “McLaren have a good car, top of mid field” his father comments and he nods in agreement. “Who else hasn’t locked up their line up for next year?” Jungkook asks with a mouthful of food. “Aston Martin, McLaren, Alfa Tauri and Ferrari” Jungkook gasps when he hears the last name, not expecting to be on this list. “Chuck might be moving to Alfa Tauri, he’s still in the middle of negotiations but ferrari is a little out of reach to be honest” Jungkook nods when he hears that, historically ferrari is not a team that bets on young drivers. Jungkook doesn’t fall asleep that night, afraid this dream might end.

Race 17 Japanese Grand Prix 2019

Jungkook was all excited to spend the weekend with McLaren’s team, but fate must be really working for him because he was informed late Thursday that he’ll be driving for mercedes again. Hamilton is in better condition but still not in a place to drive

“Tonight's race will tell us if Jeon’s podium finish last week was a stroke of luck or a show of his phenomenal skills. He qualified at P4 so let's see where he is at the end of the race” a news host talks to the camera as Jungkook arrives at the paddock. The second he steps out his car, he’s swarmed with fans and media, he’s still not used to the attention but he smiles and takes a million pictures with fans anyway.

“You must be on the top of the world?” Pierre Gasly asks Jungkook as the walk beside each other, Pierre is a driver for Alpha Tauri, he might be his teammate next year. The two of them go back to carting days, and have known each other for years.

“I’m trying not to let it get to my head, just not think about how much of my career is riding on this” Jungkook answers candidly as they reach the mercedes garage. They talk some more for a few minutes till Pierre’s girlfriend comes and interrupts them.

“Congrats on last week Jeon, I texted you but you never replied” Francisca complains as the two of them hug.

“My phone’s been blowing up, I might have missed it” Jungkook says with a big smile, he can see someone walk up to them.

“Fran come on we gotta get to our seats- oh” you look up from your phone to realise that it’s not just Pierre and Fran, it’s also last race’s winner Jeon Jungkook who gives you a very polite smile. “Hi” you say awkwardly waving a hand at him, he giggles as he waves a hand back. “You guys are watching from the grandstand?” Pierre asks and you nod showing him the tickets. “I have a friend watching too, come on they’re waiting” you say and Fran, she grumbles and reaches over to plaster a big kiss on Pierre’s lips. 

“Jesus fuck is he hot” Lily exclaims as Jungkook appears on the big screen, the camera follows as he puts on his balaclava and gets in the car. “Is he dating someone?” she asks Fran and she nods no, “He had a pretty serious girlfriend but they broke up some time this year” Fran has the inside scoop on anything and everything.

There is this silence as the cars line up to start the race, Jungkook’s mind goes absolutely blank as the lights go off and he’s cruising. The first turn results in a big crash between Chuck and the other mercedes car.

“The safety car has been deployed, and both ferrari and mercedes have only one car in the race now” the commentator announces and you watch as Jungkook drives behind your brother once again. Jungkook takes a pit stop in lap number 40, pushing him from P2 to P7, “You have Sainz in front of you, three seconds away” “Copy” Jungkook answers overtaking and reaching P6. It takes him around five more laps to get back to P2.

“Jungkook is tire to tire with Phillip but the ferrari driver is riding on older tires, Jungkook tries to overtake again, and OH Jeon manages to push Phillip off the track a little and takes the pole position” the commentator is basically shouting at this point.

“He was in my way, and hit me” Phillip complains on the radio and his engineer sighs waiting for a word from the stewardess. The accident is shown on the big screen again and the ferrari fans sigh with defeat.

“Phillip is given a five second penalty, maximise distance while he boxes” “Copy” Jungkook’s car zooms by where you’re sitting and it’s hard not to be awed by him.  

Phillip is pissed as he walks by Jungkook to talk to a reporter, if he could he’d be back at his hotel room but he has to talk to people. “What a gripping race, you and Jeon were wheel by wheel so many times but he came on top at the end” the interview says and Phillip passes him a tight smile.

“He’s a tough competition but I’m hoping to make up the lost points in the coming weeks” Phillip is very media trained, no matter how pissed he is right now, he is going to try and stay level headed.

“What does it feel like right now? Two consecutive pole positions far from what mercedes must have expected of you two weeks ago” the interviewer asks and Jungkook grins widely as you watch him get interviewed from a distance.

“I’m excited to have my own episode in the next season of drive to survive, thank you Netflix in advance” Jungkook says with a cheeky smirk making everyone around him laugh out loud.

“So, this has to stay between us right now but McLaren made a counter offer” Namjoon, Jungkook’s manager whispers to him and his eyes go wide.

“How much?” Jungkook asks and Namjoon shows him by pulling four fingers up.

“There’s something else too, ferrari’s team principal has requested a meeting later today” this makes Jungkook gasp out very loudly, garnering attention from a few people around them.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2019

Midway through this year, your schedule has been emptier than expected. Right now, you were supposed to be at the Olympic camp as a part of the figure skating team, instead you were sunbathing in Mexico. Putting on your cover up, you are heading back to your hotel room when you run into someone very unexpected in the elevator.

“Hello” Jungkook is standing against the wall with his manager on the other side. You mumble a meek hello as you stand in front of them. The two of them are talking about last week's race till the elevator reaches a stop and his manager steps out.

“I have some stuff to work out with the lawyers but I’ll come and get you for the signing” the manager says and Jungkook nods. There’s silence as the two of you walk back to your rooms, awkwardly in the same direction.

“So, you are a figure skater?” Jungkook finally breaks the silence and you nod, looking at him a little surprised.

“How’d you know?” “I looked you up on Instagram” he answers with a teasing tone, like, duh he looked you up on Instagram.

“How are your injuries?” he asks, surprising you again. Sure, you make a long post to announce your injuries, but you didn’t expect him to bring it up.

“They’re there” you answer and he gives you a sympathetic smile as he opens the door to his room.

“Congratulations on signing with ferrari” you shout as you walk away from him, he turns around, his big bambi eyes looking around with terror.

“Shhhh!!!! how’d you know?” he says very seriously only, making you giggle as you open your room diagonal to him. “I have my ways” you say with a small smile and he looks away shyly. 

The paddock is absolutely buzzing as people continue coming up to Jungkook to congratulate him. His seat on Ferrari was announced last night, and it still does not feel real to him. He makes his way to the ferrari garage as everyone gets ready for qualification.

Photographers take a million pictures as he goes up and greets Phillip, “Welcome to ferrari” Phillip says with actual excitement. “Thank you! It still doesn’t feel read” Jungkook says and Phillip laughs and remembers this feeling. “It won’t till you’re actually in the car” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles nervously. Jungkook goes around, greeting everyone and all the team members seem to be fascinated with him. By the time the cars go out, you arrive at the garage.

“Good afternoon” he greets you with a cheesing smile that comes up to his eyes. “Afternoon” you mumble looking at the screens as Phillip drives quickly. “So, how are you planning to celebrate Jeon?” your father asks from the other side. “Training and lots of it, I’m also starting Italian lessons” he says and your father chuckles loudly. “buona fortuna!” (good luck!) you say giving Jungkook a thumbs up. “Grazie” Jungkook says with a twinkling smile. 

Jungkook is taking diligent notes through the race, you don’t understand half of it between the scribbling and bad handwriting, but he seems focused.

“You’re going to need a red diary now” you tell him and Phillip enters the last few laps of the race, tonight’s race wasn’t as exciting as the last two ones.

“They delivered all this ferrari merch, there has to be diary in it too” Jungkook says shutting his diary.

“What are your plans over the winter break?” you ask him removing the headphones, his have been off the whole time.

“Moving to Monaco, skiing with a few friends and training” Jungkook was dreading the winter break, all he wanted to do was be back in the car.

“What are you doing?” he asks and you sigh having no actual idea. “Doctors appointments, decide if I want to absolutely give up on my dream of figure skating, stay at home and rest because my doctors going to be asking me to do that” you answer absolutely dreading the lonely winters. Jungkook doesn’t know how to reply to that, you might have laid way too heavy stuff on him.

“It’s not all that bad, I’m going to be drinking lots of wine and reading twenty books” you say bringing up the kindle in your hands, you always carry it around with you.

“Reading just requires too much concentration for me” Jungkook answers completely given up on watching the race at this point, he can always rewatch it.

“Yet you drive a formula 1 car with precision” you say with a taunting tone, earning a big laugh from him.

Race 19 United States Grand Prix 2019

You aren’t attending the race this week, instead you decided to fly back home for a doctors appointment. “There’s very slow progress, how does this feel” the doctor asks slightly turning your foot and you grumble with pain.

“The fractures and injuries are healed but there’s some swelling, have you talked to your coach?” the doctor asks as you sit up, you had and he wasn’t happy.

“What are my chances?” you ask the doctor and he sighs, you know you aren’t going to like the answer.

“Your foot injury is healing slow, but your back injury is what alarms me, even with the physiotherapy I’m worried you’re going to have a flare up if you go back on ice” the doctors words are ringing in your ears. You knew this was coming, but it was going to take you some time to accept it.

You’re waiting for your food to be delivered as you get a notification, Unknown Number: *video* You play the video immediately and realise it’s a video of your brother driving out the garage, the camera turns to reveal Jungkook cheering on with your father. Unknown Number: Where are you? You: How’d you get my number? Jungkook: to quote you, “I have my ways” You: You got it from Pierre Jungkook: I have my ways… Jungkook: Where are you? You: I had to see my doctor, I’ll be back for the next race Jungkook: How’d it go? You: I’m drafting my retirement press release soon so not well Jungkook: I don’t know any appropriate response to that, it must be heart breaking You: Just tell me it’s going to be fine Jungkook: ___, I’m sure that it’s going to be fine

Race 20 Brazilian Grand Prix 2019

This is your first time in Brazil, and to put it simply, the food is delicious and for once in your life you aren’t overthinking after eating. You were walking around with Phillip and it’s hard not to be stopped every five seconds but he had to get some shopping done before his trip.

“Why are you being so anxious about perfume, it’s just perfume” you groan as Philip smells the nth perfume of the day.

“Because it’s my first getaway with Maya and I want to smell amazing, it’s very important” he says and the sales person chuckles.

“What are you dinner plans?” you as Phillip as he opens his ferrari, he only drivers a ferrari, on and off track.

“I’m having dinner with Jeon” he mentions nonchalantly and you give him a surprised look.

“I thought you didn’t like him” “I didn’t on track when he beat me, but he’s on my team now, I’d rather him be on my team” he explains driving through the packed city.

“Plus, we’re going to be spending a lot, LOT of time together, I want to get along with him” Phillip has a very close relationship with Chuck too, no matter how much they fight on track.

“So, what are you guys doing for your date?” you say with a teasing tone and Phillip laughs sarcastically.

“I suggested golf but he doesn’t know how to golf so we’re doing a very boring dinner and drinks” Phillip says stopping on a red light.

“Have fun on your date, too bad you won’t get some” this earns another sarcastic chuckle from Phillip. “Jeon’s too pretty for me anyway”

Jungkook’s massaging his head as he walks to the mercedes garage to watch the qualifying. Last night, he drank for himself and Phillip and it resulted in a bad headache and an even worse hangover.

His PR manager comes and finds him for an interview and he groans, reading the agenda. “It’s a simple fluff piece, they’d want to talk more about your interests and hobbies, what you are like as a person and not the f1 stuff” the PR manager says and he nods putting on his sunglasses, the sun might feel a little too bright today.

“I pick up a ton of hobbies, photography, video games, bowling, I’m very good at bowling.” Jungkook feels a little carefree during this interview, no hard-hitting questions.

“No golfing?” “I tell people that I don’t know how to golf when the truth is that I’m bad at golf” he answers, earning a hearty laugh from the interviewer.

“Last night, Phillip posted pictures with you, are you getting along with your future teammate” “Absolutely, I am still a little starstruck around him and I’m glad that I get to work along with him-" Jungkook loses his train of thought when he watches you walk into the paddock. “I, um, so so lucky to be driving for ferrari and learn from a two-time world champion” he finishes the thought massaging his head.

“This is the question I’m curious about the most, do you have a girlfriend?” “I don’t, right now the focus is training for the coming season”

Jungkook: why were you limping? You: When did you see me limping? Jungkook: Arriving at the paddock, what happened? You: Just a flare up, obsessed much Jeon ;) Jungkook: the words you’re looking for is worried, caring, thoughtful, etc. You: Close the thesaurus Jungkook, I’m fine Jungkook: you should ice it, do you have an ice pack? You: yeah I stole one from Phillip You: How’d the interview go with the pretty lady? Jungkook: Obsessed much ___ ;) You: The word you’re looking for is observant, attentive, aware, etc. Jungkook: Focus on icing your foot and close the thesaurus You: Fuck off Jungkook: Gladly :)

Race 21 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2019

“Final race of the season and after last week’s competitive race, Hamilton ended up at P1, making your final score close to equal. So much pressure on this race, how are you feeling?” the interviewer asks pushing a mic in Phillip’s face.

“It’s been a tough season, I’m just happy it’s ending” Phillip says before walking away.

You’re in the hospitality area of ferrari, waiting for your father to be done talking to someone, again. Jungkook walks in, flashes you a smile before he goes and talks to someone.

Today you aren’t watching from the garage, the first time Phillip won the world championship, you were late and in the hospitality area, and given how superstitious Phillip is, you’re stuck in the hospitality area.

You: where are you watching the race from? Jungkook: I have a few friends waiting in the grand stand, so from there Jungkook texts you back quickly, looking up and quirking an eyebrow towards you. You: Lucky… I am going to be stuck here Jungkook: Come with me, I got an extra ticket You: Can’t

Before he can ask another question, Phillip walks in the room, and takes a seat beside you. “How you feeling?” you ask him and he sighs leaning back in the sofa.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Phillip has a lot riding on today’s race, he can’t lose.

“Want some water?” you offer him a bottle and look up to find Jungkook sitting opposite Phillip.

“Let’s all get drunk after you win, and not just me drinking this time” Jungkook can sense how tense Phillip is, this makes Phillip chuckle a little.

“I’m going to be drinking none the less,” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles standing up.

“Good luck for the race! I’ll get going my friends are lost” Jungkook says making eye contact with you for just a second.

“Thanks” Phillip stands up, mumbling something about seeing an engineer, you look up at Jungkook, and he taps on your phone, like he’s signalling for you to check it. Jungkook: Text me if you get bored

You’re holding a throw pillow pretty tightly as you watch Phillip enter the last lap of the race. “Hamilton is 2 seconds behind, mode push, mode push” “Stop talking on the radio, I’m trying to win” Philip yells on the radio as the two of them almost touch at a corner but Phillip comes ahead and the crowd goes wild as he zooms past the cheeked flag.

“So sorry for yelling” Phillip apologizes and you wipe a tear, “Don’t worry mate, if you’re winning the world championship for the third time, you can yell all you want” his engineer says and Phillip chuckles.

Phillip doesn’t seem as excited as he walks up to the podium, he seems relieved. Phillip looks around for you in the crowd, but you’re missing.

You know you should be happy for your brother right now, but all his victory does is make you feel miserable about your lost career. Your family doesn’t know about the tough conversation you had with your coach last week, they don’t know about the press release that’s going to be released some time next week.

You notice people coming back to the lounge so you leave, not wanting to answer any question. “___?” you hear a familiar voice as you bump into someone on your way out, looking up you realise that it’s Jungkook. Sniffing your nose, you walk away like nothing happened but Jungkook follows, the image of your running mascara worries him.

“___ what’s wrong?” he stops you, holding you back with your wrist, the question only makes you sob harder. Quietly, he pulls you into a dark corner, not wanting anyone to see this.

“I am the worst sister ever, thinking about myself when my brother achieved something great” you cry out, leaning your head against his chest. Jungkook knows his words can’t console you right now, so he just hugs you tightly till you stop crying.

January 2020

“So, three-minute-long hug and you haven’t talked to him since?” Lily asks and you nod sitting up on the counter. The two of you are hiding in the kitchen during your brother’s birthday party, it’s just too important to gossip about boys.

“He replied to my stories a few times but we haven’t really talked, and I know he’s training and busy and I’m far from his mind but it’s still driving me insane” you grumble eating the cake you stole on your way in.

“It’s his first formula one season, of course he doesn’t have the time for a gir- Jungkook!” you squeal his name as he walks into the kitchen and Lily turns around with a big smile.

“Hey” he says waving his hand as he walks towards you. “Hi” your voice comes out very high pitched, this makes Lily giggly. “Phillip told me you were hiding in the kitchen” Jungkook says running a hand through his hair, his eyes are fixed on you, he hasn’t even noticed the woman standing beside you completely.

“Not hiding, eating cake and-“ “Okay so you two clearly don’t see me” Lily complains, flustering the two of you. “Jungkook, this is Lily, my friend-“ “Her best friend and I’m going to leave, nice meeting you Jungkook” Lily leaves you with a teasing smile and you look at her like an helpless puppy. “Hi” you say again, your face flush with embarrassment, Jungkook has a million things to ask you, a million more to tell you, but he feels tongue tied right now.

“Your parents moved to Germany when you were six months old?” you ask with amusement and Jungkook nods taking the pint of ice cream from your hands. As the party escalated to a club, the two of you disappeared in the crowd, staying back at your brother’s apartment.

“My father got a big mechanical engineering job so we moved from Seoul, they’ve been living in Frankfurt” he says looking at the ocean as he takes a big bite of the chocolate ice cream.

“There’s so much I don’t know about you” you whisper snugging even more into the blanket, it's was pretty windy out here on the balcony.

“I could say the same” he whispers laying his head back on the sofa, it’s hard not to stare in his eyes but you snap yourself out of it.

“How about we each ask a question and both of us answer it” you suggest and he nods immediately. “Comfort food?” you ask turning to face him, he ponders for a second but lights up as he answers, “Any soup my mom makes” “Mine would be a good, juicy, greasy burger” “Favourite movie?” he asks and you answer immediately, “Pride and Prejudice” “Iron Man 2” his answer makes you scoff, so on character for Jungkook. “I’ve never seen a marvel movie to completion” this earns a big old gasp from Jungkook, he sits up straight to look at you with shock.

“Sci-fi and the superhero trop is boring to me” “Don’t you dare sully the good Iron Man’s name” Jungkook says very seriously and you giggle, moving a little closer to him. “I’ve never seen any harry porter movies too” you confess and he laughs sarcastically.

February 2020 You: How’s testing going? Jungkook: I wasn’t able to sleep because of how excited I was to drive the car, and it went not as well as I expected You: What happened? Jungkook: Some engine problems but I’ll be fine Jungkook: What are you up to? You: I am studying to finish the last year of school, and I forgot how bad studying was Jungkook: Sucks to be you, I am out celebrating Jungkook: Why are you awake right now? It’s past midnight in Monaco You: Isn’t it even more past might in Bahrain? Jungkook: Yes, answer me first You: I had coffee late in the evening and now I’m all jittery and anxious You: Now, answer me second :) Jungkook: I had a photoshoot and event later, and another after party and now I’m drunk in bed

Without thinking too much, you press the video call button and he picks up immediately. His flushed face is very close to the camera. “Heyyyyy” Jungkook says dragging the y, knowing it’s going to make you laugh.

“You’re still in a suit, you’re going to wrinkle your suit” you say turning around in bed too.

“I don’t have to wear this again, at least for a while I think” Jungkook wonders out loud getting up from the bed, no matter how tired he is, sleeping in a suit is uncomfortable. He walks up to the massive washroom and places his phone by the sink.

“I’m going to back to the room and change, no peeking” Jungkook says very seriously earning another round of giggles from you.

“I said no peeking ___” Jungkook shouts from the living room, this definitely shows just how drunk he is. “I physically can’t Jungkook” you yell and he is very quiet until there’s a loud groan.

“What happened?” you yell, a little too entertained by drunk Jungkook. “I forgot how to open pants” “I don’t think you open pants, you unbutton them” you correct him, earning another groan from him.

“You know, you can be a huge know it all” he says as he walks back in the washroom with just a towel, hanging very low on his hip. He might be drunk, but he notices the instance change in your demeanour.

“Like what you see ___?” Jungkook says resting his hands against the sink, it takes a full minute to process what he just asked.

“Cockiness is not very attractive Jungkook” you challenge him and he hums splashing some water on his face.

“From my experience, it is” he says and you bite your lip, refusing to show just how much he can affect you. The two of you are playing a dangerous game, but refuse to give up.

“Make sure to drink some water, you can’t afford being hungover” you say looking away from the screen, needed a break from his piercing eyes.

“Worried about me ___?” he asks trying to rile you up again, but your response absolutely softens his heart. “Yes, very much so”

Race 1 Bahrain Grand Prix 2020

“Hey?” Jungkook picks up your call as he catches an elevator up to his room.

“Are you back to the hotel?” “Yeah, I’m on my way to my room” Jungkook says pressing his floor number.

“Can you stop by my room, it’s 504” Jungkook hums a reply, not knowing what to expect.

You’re in the middle of attempting to tidy your room when you hear loud knocks, way earlier than anticipated. Swinging the door open, Jungkook smiles widely, not having seen you in almost two months.

“Cute pj’s” he comments as you let him in, they are in fact not cute pj’s. What you sleep in is a very old, oversize t shirt and gym shorts.

“Sit” you order and he complies immediately, taking a seat on the bed beside you. Wordlessly, you pass him a pale paper bag, there’s some paper rustling till he reaches the gift.

“oh, wow this is embossed” Jungkook says feeling the soft leather of the diary. He’s about to open it when you not so gently swat his hands, “Do that when I’m not there” you whisper and he chuckles, seeing just how embarrassed you are about this.

“I can’t use this, it’s too precious a gift” Jungkook can’t help but keep fiddling with the diary.

“I bought it for you to fill it with diligent notes,” you say, turning to face him.

“Thank you ___” Jungkook’s the one feeling shy right now, more accurately vulnerable. Tomorrow is the first race of his first season, there’s so much pressure and he feels like you can sense just how heavy his shoulders feel.

“Don’t tell Phillip, but I kinda want you to win tomorrow” you say, reaching for his pinkie finger with yours, Jungkook immediately takes charge, intertwining them.

“But whatever happens, it’s going to be alright” you reassure him as he holds your finger very tightly.

“How can you be sure?” he asks, finally looking you in the eyes, his eyes give away his fears and tension immediately.

“Because when I was going through something tough, you told me it was going to be alright and it’s starting to feel alright”

Race 2 Australian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook finished fourth in last week's race, in an ideal world he’d want to be first but it wasn’t bad either. Jungkook was more excited about his sister and niece joining him for the week in Australia.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Jungkook asks Phillip to get to the paddock for a test.

“Nothing much, might go to a steakhouse. Why?” “I’ve rented a yacht for the evening, some family is in town, you guys want to join?” was this a ploy to spend more time with you, yes.

“Sounds fun, maybe together we can convince ___ to jump in the ocean” Phillip says with a playful grin on his face.

“Um, excuse me, my fear of the ocean is very rational. I am not a fish, I can’t breathe in water” Phillip and you are arguing about this for the nth time as you walk up the dock.

“How can you two have the same argument with the same statements every time” Maya, Phillip’s girlfriend groans giving the two of you annoyed looks.

Jungkook’s laughter is the first thing you hear as you step onto the yacht, as you walk further up the deck you spot an adorable face that’s been mentioned to you several times.

“Oh, Hi guys!” Jungkook hollers waving his hands as Harper wiggles in his arms. Harper is Jungkook’s two-year-old niece, and seeing Jungkook with kids is not helping you with your “weird” feelings about Jungkook.

“Fish!!!” Harper yells from beside Jungkook and he returns her excitement with actual seriousness. The funniest part of their dynamic is Jungkook talking to her like an adult.

“Nemo” “No that’s not nemo, something else but definitely not nemo” Jungkook corrects Harper and you choke on your beer, finding this very ridiculous. Jungkook looks over at you with questioning eyes as you continue to cough like you’re going to die.

“Can you just let her believe that a fish is Nemo?” you ask standing up to sit a little closer to them. The two couples are off riding the jet skies the minute you got here.

“I’m setting her up for life and all the disappointments that come with it” Jungkook says, stealing the bottle of beer from your hands and taking a long swig.

The offended look on your face doesn’t faze him as he takes another swig. You go back to reading as the two of them look at fishes, Harper’s very into fishes.

Jungkook wants to bring up the diary, specifically the note you’d written on the first page, but you seem too focused on your book. Every time he turns around, he’s fascinated by the intrigued look on your face, sometimes you gasp or laugh with glee, the last one is definitely his favourite.

“Jeon, who was spectacularly starting at P1, unfortunately had to retire the car because of the engine on fire. This is definitely not the spectacular start everyone expected from him this season” the commentator says as you watch on the tv a frustrated Jungkook jump out his car.

“He’s going to be beating himself up about this even if it isn’t his problem” Sora, Jungkook’s sister, comments sitting beside you. Jungkook’s pissed to put it lightly, he’s already dreading the media questions that are going to be thrown at him.

But he pushes through, getting back to the garage and talking to the team principal. Wanting to get away from all this, he changes out of his driving suit and makes way to the hospitality area.

“Uncle Koo!” Harper says, springing up with excitement as Jungkook walks into the room. He picks her up immediately, cuddling her close.

“Next one will be better” Sora tries to comfort him with a gentle pat on his arm.

“Hopefully” Jungkook says, taking a seat beside you. You try and look him in the eyes again and again, through the race, but he keeps avoiding them.

“It’s going to be her bed time soon, I’ll take her back to the hotel” Jungkook’s brother in law says, and he gently transfers an already drowsy Harper from his arms. People are quick to leave when Phillip crosses the race in second place, wanting to go out and celebrate.

“Hey” you say, brushing his hand ever so softly, you want to reach over and hug him, but you don’t know if you should.

“Please don’t tell me the next one is going to be better. I’m tired of hearing that” he says flopping back on the sofa, he feels exhausted like he’s never before.

“I won’t,” you say, reaching over for his hand again, this time he holds onto it, not wanting to let go.

Race 3 Italian Grand Prix 2020

For a ferrari driver, the race in Monza is always the highlight of the season. Jungkook hasn’t gotten used to the fans and attention, but this week has been unreal. Everywhere he turns, he sees someone in red, he realises just how important this race is.

Jungkook: Where are you? He hadn’t heard much from you after the race in Australia, you had mentioned something about taking a little trip while in Italy but he didn’t know you if you were going to be here for the race. You had a plan, you were supposed to explore the Italian countryside and have all the pasta your heart desired for. This was supposed to be the year of fun and travelling around, instead you were laying on the crappy hotel bed with an ice pack on your back.

You: In bed at the hotel, my back hurts like hell Jungkook: What happened?

There’s no response from you for another hour and Jungkook’s all anxious and worried. He’s spaced out for most of the qualifying debrief and Phillip takes note.

“You alright man?” Phillip asks as most of the staff members leave the room. “Just worried about the race, I haven’t been off to the best start” it wasn’t all a lie, Jungkook was worried like he’s never been before about his performance.

Phillip knew Jungkook was his biggest competition, at the end of the day they were fighting for the same title but he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for Jungkook, maybe because he was once a tensed rookie driver.

Jungkook doesn’t let the amazing qualifying performance get to his head. Starting ahead in a race always make his chances of winning the race, but right now tomorrows race is not what he’s thinking about.

“Jungkook?” you exclaim as you swing the door open for him, Jungkook has a wide toothy smile as he shows you the box of pizza he picked up on his way.

“Feeling better?” he asks as you sit on the bed, waiting for him to join you. Jungkook can see how not okay you are based on how difficult it is for you to move.

“Why’s there a sad box of steamed veggies too?” “That’s my dinner, what are you watching?” he asks, sitting against the headboard too. Jungkook’s starting to understand your obsession with the office as he watches along with you. He notices how you turn around every now and then to see if he finds a joke funny, like you are testing him.

You know Jungkook’s in bed by 10 on a night before the race, he’s very particular about his sleep schedule. You reduce the volume when you hear his soft snores beside you, his head awkwardly resting against the headboard can’t be good.

“Jungkook,” you call for him gently, shuffling closer to him. You’re close enough to be able to count his eyelashes, in a moment of weakness, your hand softly grazes his hair off his face.

“Come on, we can’t have your neck hurting tomorrow morning” you say, softly patting his cheeks, this does wake him up. He begrudgingly gets up from the bed, his head knows what the right thing to do is but his heart wants five more minutes.

“Thank you” you whisper to him as he puts on his shoes, he looks back at you with confusion, “For what?” he asks as he watches you stand up in front of you.

You don’t answer his question, instead you get on your tiptoes and softly lay a kiss on his cheeks, “Good luck for tomorrows race”

“You’ve done it mate! That’s P1 in Monza!” Jungkook’s engineer cheers on the radio and his mind goes blank as he enters the cool down lap.

“Fuck, FUCK, Unbelievable!” Jungkook’s short of words as he brings the car to an holt, he has the same feeling he had in Singapore, the feeling is winning is like nothing else.

Jumping out the cockpit, Phillip is already celebrating his second position with the team as he joins them. “Congrats Jeon!” Phillip sounds ecstatic as he greats the younger man. Everything is a blur to Jungkook after he jumped on the team, shouts as he celebrated.

Jungkook’s hair smells like champagne as he gets back to the hotel room, he noticed that you weren’t watching the race from Hospitality like you usually do. He can’t help but smile as he notices a few texts from you. You: CONGRATUALTIONS JUNGKOOK!!!!!!! You: I jumped so hard when you won, might have injured my back more You: So fucking happy for you!!! You: Internet on the flight sucked but I watched you win!!Jungkook: Flight? You: Yeah I flew back to Monaco, my back was getting worse and I wanted to see my doc before it became unbearable Jungkook: hope you feel better :( You: I wished I could’ve seen you win in person :( Jungkook: Don’t worry, I’ll win more races just so you can see me win more

Race 4 Portugal Grand Prix 2020

“The two of you getting along? Is the bromance flourishing yet?” the interviewer asks the ferrari drivers and the two of them break into loud, hysterical laughter.

“I’ve had more dinner’s with Jungkook this year than I’ve had with my girlfriend, so I’d say we’re getting there,” Phillip says and the crowd laughs along with them.

You watch the two of them get another round of questions about the coming race, and it’s fresh to see Phillip getting along so well with a teammate. This had been an issue for him in the past, but friendship with Jungkook came naturally to him.

You click on another pre race promotional video of the two of them, it’s a chaotic game of Song Challenge. The basic premise of the game being the one to guess most of the song names, winning.

“Oh god, this is my game to lose, I don’t listen to a lot of music” Phillip confesses and Jungkook looks at him like he’s confessed to a murder. The game starts as a fun, silly thing but by the end of it, Jungkook’s literally jumping up with excitement when he guesses each song correctly.

“How did you even know all this, you’ve guessed most of them within ten seconds” Phillip grumples, clearly losing this game.

“I listen to music, lots and lots of it” Jungkook says cocklily as the final song plays. The two of them wonder what the song is for a while till Phillip smashes the buzzer.

“Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol” Phillip yells with excitement, knowing he’s right about this.

“You don’t recognise Beyonce’s song but recognise this song?” Jungkook asks with a sour look on his face, he is not a pretty loser. “It’s my sisters favourite song”

“Today was your second pole position of the season, how does it feel?” the interviewer asks right after the race.

“Well, finishing P3 is nothing compared to P1 but it’s exciting to see Ferrari finish with a double podium” Jungkook answers by fixing his cap.

“Around lap 50 you were asked to let Phillip through, sending him from P4 to P1 subsequently,” the interviewer isn’t asking a question, he’s stating a fact to get a rise out of Jungkook.

“Well Phillip was going for the fastest lap and I was happy to let my teammate through,” Jungkook answered pragmatically.

“Are you worried that strategies like these are going to place you as the number two driver in Ferrari?” he has to take a long deep breath before he answers.

“It’s about playing the long game, my team mate is always going to be my biggest competition but at the same time I want to establish my relationship with Ferrari.”

Jungkook looks pissed as he walks away from that interview. It had only been four races so far, but this was each reporter's favourite question, wanting to know if he was brought on board just to help Phillip win the championship.

Jungkook: Are you going to be attending the race in Spain? You: Nope, dad’s going to be attending, I still have some getting better to do Jungkook: :( you feeling any better? You: A lot, even did some yoga today You: I’ll definitely be there in Monaco ;) Jungkook: Are you cleared to do yoga? You: Yes I am , just some stretching and meditation Jungkook: Please be careful… also I have a favour to ask

Race 5 Spanish Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook’s apartment is nothing you imagined it to be, it’s emptier than expected. It’s a humble two-bedroom apartment that’s surprisingly empty. He’d asked if you could be there while someone delivered and built two beds. He'd been sleeping on a mattress on the ground for all three months of the winter break he spent in this apartment.

Jungkook wanted to fix up the apartment mainly because his parents were flying down to watch the race and stay with him while he got a week off between races in Monaco.

“How was qualifying?” you ask Jungkook on facetime, you’re still at his apartment late in the evening.

“P4, could’ve been better,” he sighs as he lays down on the bed, all he was looking forward to was the few days off in the coming week, he desperately wanted to do nothing.

“It’ll be fine, onto more important things. Why aren’t there any plates in your apartment?” you ask and Jungkook laughs, imagining you going through his sad, empty kitchen.

“Because I mostly ate out or ate directly from the pan” “You have two playstations, a full shelf full of marvel figurines, a very expensive racing stimulator but no fucking plates?” your outrage seems adorable to him.

“It’s about what’s important and plates clearly didn’t make the cut” “Well, I bought you a set, and also some snacks and fruits for your parents. I also hung up the curtains you very clearly gave up on, how were you living like this” you ask and he chuckles getting cozy in bed.

“Don’t strain your back for me” Jungkook pleads and you smile looking straight at him.

“I am not, this is just a way for me to distract myself from the fact that I’m bad at studying, it’s almost like I forgot how to study” you sigh sinking deep into his very comfortable sofa.

“How about, to return the favour, I help you study. You might not know this, but I’m very academically gifted” he brags nuzzling his head into the pillow, he’s exhausted from thee day and minutes from falling asleep.

“You need to be spending time with your parents Jeon” you tease, watching his heavy eyes. “I can make some time for you”

Tonight is a rare night as your father and you both watch the race from the living room instead of actually being there. Your father would attend most races in person if he could.

“You want some more?” you ask your father as you get yourself another glass of wine.

“No, I have an early morning with my accountant” silence envelops the living room again as you two silently watch the race. Your relationship with your father has always been a little awkward and distant. You’d spent most of your young years training and skating, your mother was more involved in your life while your father focused on Phillip.

“So, how’s the studying going?” he asks in an attempt to make some small talk.

“Going well, still trying to figure out my plans for college. I’m thinking business or advertising” you offer some more information than he asked, wanting to keep him in the loop.

“Have you thought about real estate? Not to brag but you are related to one of the biggest real estate moguls in Monaco” he says and you chuckle sitting up straight on the sofa.

“I’ve never thought about it, do you think I could do that?” you ask and he nods looking straight at you.

“You can do anything you put your mind on, remember how you’d fall on the ice every five minutes when you first started” he recounts with a grim smile on his face.

“How about this, you come with me to work next monday, spend the day at the office, get to see what a day’s work actually entails?” he offers and you seriously think about it before mumbling. The two of you talk some more about work that you almost miss Phillip finishing third in the race, and Jungkook second.

Race 6 Monaco Grand Prix 2020

“I haven’t been on a date in ages and it’s making me anxious” Lando confesses to Jungkook as they’re walking back from a free practice. Lando was a driver at McLaren, similar to Jungkook’s age so they naturally got friendly towards each other.

“I haven’t been on a date in… a year” Jungkook says and Lando gives him a scoff.

“Why? Not to sound gay but you’re a hot dude Jeon” Lando says and Jungkook laughs hysterically. Jungkook hadn’t ever thought of himself as special looking until he started driving in Formula 2, most of the attention he garnered was based on his looks. The craze just went deeper as he joined Ferrari, at least it has landed him sponsorships with major brands.

“How about we go clubbing after the race, there’s a ton of amazing places here and we got to party when in Monaco” Jungkook agrees to it immediately, he needs to let loose and party a little.

Jungkook: where you at? You: hospitality lounge, chatting with your parents You: they just told me the adorable story of you finding out Santa isn’t real at the ripe age of 10 You: Adorable! Jungkook: Why?? Don’t? You: They’re fun! your mother has a ton of baby pictures on her phone ;) You: The particular pictures of you and sister having a tea party, immaculate! Jungkook: Don’t you need to be studying some algebra? You: Don’t you need to be getting ready for qualifying?

“Don’t fight Jungkook, he’s faster” Phillip’s engineer tells him on the radio as the two of them go tyre to tyre on another turn. Jungkook started the race behind Phillip, and midway through the race the two of them were fighting to get ahead.

“Tell him to back off” “He’s on new tyre’s Phillip, he’s faster. We’re going with strategy 3” his engineer says and Phillip groans but doesn’t fight Jungkook anymore.

This is all Jungkook needed because within seconds the gap between them is increasing to great lengths, Phillip can’t deny Jungkook’s amazing skills that let him be so fast.

“That’s another victory for you mate! P1 in Monaco” “Yes, YESSSS, AGHHHHHHHHH!!” Jungkook had a lot of motives to push through tonight's race, he wanted his parents to see him win, he wanted you to see him win.

Jungkook spots you by your parents, he sends a victory wink your way as he bites his lip with excitement.

For the post-race press conference, the Ferrari drivers are paired together and Phillip isn’t very delighted about it. “Talking about the race today, the two of you seemed to be fighting around lap 30, and Phillip you were asked to not fight Jungkook, which ultimately cost you P1 today, how do you feel about strategy calls like these?” the reporter asks and Jungkook bites his cheek, knowing this isn’t an easy question to answer.

“It was a team call I wasn’t super delighted with but I wasn’t going to cost the team points because of my selfishness” Phillip answers truthfully and Jungkook continues staring around blankly, not willing to give any fodder to the reporters.

“Your team mate seems to be much faster in the same car as you, do you feel threatened about your position as the world champion?” another interviewer asks and Phillip smiles tightly. “I’m driving to win and so is Jeon”

Jungkook ends up at a yacht party instead of the club, he looks around for you as he gets himself a drink. “Check out the chick at 2 o’clock” Lando says and Jungkook turns around as nonchalantly as he can, he doesn’t check out the chick but he does spot you talking to some other man.

“Not really my type” Jungkook says chugging his drink in one go, his mood is definitely different now.

“What is your type?” Lando asks and Jungkook laughs sarcastically,

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be single” Jungkook takes hold of another drink and downing it again.

“Are you the kind to date to marry?” Lando asks and Jungkook takes a second to think.

“Not necessarily” Jungkook answers and watches you walk up to them.

“Then go talk to that chick-” “Hello boys!” you say cheerfully, greeting the two drivers.

“Jeon’s about to go talk to her” Lando says subtly, pointing at the gorgeous model.

“You are?” you ask, turning to look at Jungkook and he nods, downing his third drink. It’s hard not to look away as Jungkook charms the woman, of course he’d go up and talk to the gorgeous woman, why wouldn’t he.

“So, what about you? Should we find someone for you too?” Lando asks as you stare blankly at your drink, why’d you delude yourself into thinking Jungkook was remotely interested in you.

“Who’s he and why is he making bedroom eyes at you?” Lando asks, talking about the friend you were talking to earlier, just an old friend you ran into.

“The hell are bedroom eyes?” you ask with disgust and Lando chuckles at you bringing forth another shot of vodka for the two of you.

“I think the name’s self explanatory, come on go talk to him. Tonight, I’m the wingman for everyone” Lando says and you shake your head with disappointment, absolutely in no mood to talk to someone. ‘I think I’m gonna go home”

Jungkook: hey? did you get home safely? You weren’t expecting this text from Jungkook the next morning, putting down your cup of coffee, you contemplate what to say. You: Yeah, I saw the million pictures. You must’ve had fun Jungkook partying had taken up your explore page, around sometime that night he took over the mic and started singing, how could someone sound so good while being drunk off their mind? Jungkook: It was, would've been more fun if you were there This is why you were delusional about him, texts like these You: Why? The model wasn’t any fun Jungkook: She isn’t really my type You are enticed to ask him if you are, but you don’t. You: Go back to sleep, enjoy your day off

Race 7 Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2020

Lily has a semester break from college, so she decided you join you. The two of you spend all of friday and saturday exploring the beautiful city of Baku.

“Are you really going to work for your father?” Lily asks as the two of you sit down at a restaurant for dinner.

“Yes, right now I’m just learning and doing some of his assistant work and it might look boring but it’s better than doing nothing. Plus, I get to attend most race weekends” you explain reading the menu, your father was adamant on attending all the races, at least the European one’s and he had the fortunes to do that.

“So, taking this job has nothing to do with your massive crush on a certain driver” Lily asks and you’re starting to regret being a little too truthful with Lily.

“It’s just a teeny tiny one and it’s going to go away, this is all about supporting my brother” it was partly that, Phillip was all on his own during this early years as a driver, it’s nice to have family around.

“Why won’t you just ask him out?” Lily sounds frustrated about all this, to her all this looks very simple.

“Can we drop this and talk about your disaster of love life? Still sleeping with that professor” you ask with a teasing smile and Lily groans, hate being put on the spot.

“He’s barely a professor” “He’s 35” you retort and Lily is tempted to throw the water in your face.

The car starts feeling weird to Jungkook mid way through the race, between trying to get control of the car, he’s hit by someone and this causes him to lose all control on the brakes.

“Break fail! I have no control on the breaks” Jungkook’s panicked voice booms through the radio and everyone watches as he crashes into the side, taking two other cars out with him.

“Jungkook, are you okay?” his engineer asks and he groans, having hit his head pretty bad. The red flags are issued as an ambulance rushes to him, you shaking with nervousness as Jungkook is barely pulled out the car.

“We’re told from the medical officials that Jeon might be concussed, maybe even injured because of the sheer speed at which he hit the barriers. Let’s get a replay on the incident that caused this” the commentator says as you watch Phillip hit Jungkook on a turn, and him crashing the car at a dangerous speed.

You don’t notice the tears that well up in your eyes as you hear the ambulance sirens. Shutting your eyes, all you can see is the last few things you saw after your very ungraceful fall on the ice. Clutching your heart, you remember Phillip tightly clutching your hand as you were driven to the hospital, how every part of your body seared with pain. You open your eyes to stop reliving that day, but the massive tv’s in front of you focus on the ambulance that is driving a probably very injured Jungkook.

“Seriously, I want to be by myself right now” Jungkook’s getting a little irritated by all the people crowding his hotel room. He was a little woozy after the crash, but the doctor cleared him of any concussion, he just had a sprained wrist.

His team principal and trainer are the last to leave, checking on him for the millionth time. Jungkook sits up against the headrest as he checks some messages from other drivers checking up on him.  You: Please text me when you’re fine Jungkook: I promise you I’m fine but can you still come and visit me :( You: Of course, which hospital are you at? Jungkook: I’m not at a hospital Jungkook: room no. 1011, I’ve left the door open for you

“Jungkook?” you ask knocking on his door and it swings open before he can answer, you’re not proud of it but you might have run up to his room.

The worried look on your face is still there as you gently pad over to him, Jungkook confusion grows as you wipe your tears.

“Hey, hey, ___, I’m not hurt at all. I fainted a little before but-” “You fainted?” you ask with a small voice as your big brown eyes look at him.

“It was because of dehydration” he says as he pulls you closer with one swift move, you sit opposite him, still shaking with fear.

“I know this is kind of a big ask, but can you stay here? Just for tonight?” Jungkook asks fiddling with your hand.

“You want me to?” you ask from beside him and he nods, your eyes are bloodshot red still, he doesn’t want you all by yourself right now.

All the lines are crossed that night as you cuddle closer to Jungkook. You know this isn’t going to end well, but right now you couldn’t care less. His hand is gently rubbing your back as your head lies on his chest.

Jungkook knows that you’re obviously working through something else, probably about your incident on the ice. The two of you never talk about it, Jungkook doesn’t know how to bring it up, or if he should ever bring it up. Jungkook knows that the situation is shitty, but he is happy about you being in his arms, he could get used to it

Race 8 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

“Why?” Jungkook asks as he’s walking to the Ferrari office. It’s a meeting and photoshoot heavy day for him.

“Because I have a job now, even if it’s sorting my father’s emails and arranging his meetings, I can’t be there every weekend” you explain calmly as you swivel around in your office chair.

“What’s your day like today?” he asks as a fan stops him for a picture, he’s becoming better at being popular as every race happens.

“We have a few apartment showings, so I’ll be shadowing him, start to figure out if I want to do this or not” you say sipping on your coffee, you’d been arriving early at the office to have some moments of peace before the chaos starts.

“What is your day like?” you ask him and he just grunts, knowing how bad it is to sit through meetings.

“I have a strategy meeting, another meeting with the communications team, lunch with a bunch of promoters and in the evening we’re shooting a bunch of videos for ferrari’s youtube channel” Jungkook reiterates his schedule for the day, and he’s already starting to feel tired.

“Press has just been awful since the last race, no wonder we’re having comms meeting two days in a row” Jungkook had been trying to stay away from the negative headlines but everyone was absolutely shitting on Phillip this week.

“They like pitting you and Phillip against each other, last week was all the ammunition they needed” you had been screening all the click baity articles, they were absolutely making Phillip lose his mind.

“Do you think he hit me on purpose or was I really in his blind spot?” Jungkook asks opening the door to the conference room, most people are already here. Phillip is already slouched against a chair, looking defeated already.

“No comments” “Boo Freaking Hoo” he says and you can’t help but smile like a stupid idiot.

“Call me later if you can” you say and Jungkook hums a goodbye as he takes a seat opposite Phillip.

“So, lots of bad press, people are divided” Claudia says, placing down multiple article print outs and newspapers on the table.

“And thank you Phillip for snapping at the sky sports reporter, just handing them their headlines” this hasn’t been Phillip’s week, and he’s done with cameras and reporters.

“We need to take hold of the narrative or at least change it because the sponsors aren’t happy with the two drivers seemingly fighting each other. How about you go golfing or something this tuesday” Claudia suggests and Phillip immediately nods his head no. 

“He can’t golf to save his life and I have my sister’s birthday party that day-” “So, just invite Jungkook, because I really need the news narrative to change” Claudia says with an authoritative tone, the two of them can’t even think about going against her.

“I don’t want to intrude on a family thing-” Jungkook sounds a little offended by the whole situation, mostly he’s a little ticked off about you not telling him about your coming birthday.

“It’s not, it’s a surprise party with a few friends, I was going to invite you anyway” Phillip says and Claudia smiles widely.

“This is sorted then, I need at least a story with the birthday girl on the two of your Instagram’s” The two of them are left alone as Claudia leaves, there’s still this animosity in the air.

“Just so we’re clear, I didn’t hit your car on purpose,” Phillip says, looking Jungkook square in his eyes.

“I know that,” Jungkook replies, a little too confidently. “How can you be so sure?” Phillip asks as he sits up straight.

“You’re competitive, not petty” Jungkook leaves with a big smirk on his face, he’s been enjoying the season so far a little too much.

You: P3!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! You: Still have that migraine? Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday being next week? You: How’d you come to find out about it? You: Did Phillip tell you? You: He is throwing me a surprise party isn’t he? Jungkook: Wow you derived to the bottom of it pretty quickly Jungkook: I mean no, I don’t know of a party if there is one Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me? You: Because I’m not the kind of person who celebrates their birthday Jungkook: But there are other people who want to celebrate you turning twenty You: So, you just confirmed the surprise party Jungkook: If this get’s back to Phillip he might actually push me off the track intentionally this time You: Now I understand why Lily wanted to take me dress shopping You: Give me more details Jeon! Jungkook: I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re talking about

Race 9 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

It’s week two of the grand prix in Austria but Phillip is suspiciously in Monaco on Monday evening. “Why are you here?” you ask, dropping your handbag and a million other things you take to the office in the hallway.

“I know you know why I’m here because I know Maya sucks at keeping secrets, so just go up and get ready” he says flashing you a big smile. Phillip and you have always tried to celebrate birthdays, between him training and racing and you always practicing, there wasn’t always time to celebrate.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did this” you squeal with excitement when you see the decked-up ice rink, you’ve always wanted to celebrate on a ice rink.

You’re awed by the classy decoration, one would almost forget that this is an ice rink, a few of your friends already skating around.

“I love you!” you squeal like an excited thirteen-year-old as you hug Phillip, he has a genuine smile on his face too.

“Please be careful tho, I don’t like the smell of hospitals” Phillip says as you watch Maya walk up to you, a little uncharacteristically you hug her tightly too, knowing she had a big part in planning this.

“Girl!!! you look smoking hot, so glad you went with the black one!” Lily comments taking a long look at your dress, it was a simple bodycon with a huge slit up your left thigh.

Jungkook arrives sometime around midnight, right as Phillip walks up with a massive cake and sparklers. Jungkook watches from the crowd as your face lights up with delight, he’s truly never seen you this happy. Your smile is contagious, infectious, he always wants you smiling like you were when you shoveled cake in Phillip’s face.

“Staring a little too much are we?” Lily comments from beside Jungkook and he snaps out of it, turning around and flashes the familiar face a polite smile.

“Am I being too obvious?” Jungkook doesn’t try to deny the accusation as he sheepishly ruffles his hair again, a nervous tick.

“The two of you are hopeless, go on, talk to her” truth be told, Lily was getting a little tired of your pinning on Jungkook.

Jungkook’s a little powered up by Lily’s comment, maybe there could be something between the two of you. He’s hopeful as he approaches you, maybe it’s the whiskey getting to him.

“Happy Birthday” Jungkook whispers in your ear from behind you, you’re a little startled till he comes around with a smug look.

“Thank you for not telling me about this party!” you shout a little, leaning closer to him. The lights have been cranked down and the music is much louder now.

“Aren’t you going to go on the ice?” he asks and you look up and shake your head no.

“I don’t know if I’m there yet, I’m just happy being in a rink right now” you answer and he takes hold of your hand, leading you away from the crowd.

“I should be back there, dancing and drinking” you whine as the two of you make way to a dimly lit supply office.

“You’ll be back there in no time, I just want to savor the moment of giving you your gift” he says, finally coming to a stop. You hop on the desk, outreaching your hands for the gift.

To your amusement, he places a tiny box in your palms, looking at you expectantly. You gasp as you pick up the delicate ring from the box, it’s a simple gold ring with an ice skate designed in the middle.

Jungkook had prepared a speech in his mind, he had his reasons for why he had this ring made. But at that moment as he watched you slip the ring on your index finger, his mind went blank.

The silence is suffocating the two of you as Jungkook’s hand reaches over to play with the ring, he got your size almost right. His warm hands around the cold band are starting to sober you.

Wordlessly, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, stopping right as Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to brace himself.

“I was feeling so heartbroken about the figure skating chapter of my life ending, that’s all I’ve know of myself as, it has made me restless and anxious like never before, and this, is always going to remind me of that heartbreak” you say looking Jungkook straight in his eyes and his heart absolutely shatters, he can hear his heart breaking.

“I didn’t mean to-” you shush him by placing a single finger on his dry lips.

“But it also reminds me of some of the happiest moments of my life, it reminds me of my potential. If I could start skating at the age of four, I can start something new at the age of 20. It gives me hope, you give me hope” you whisper the last part your head rests on his chest. your arms circling around his waist.

Race 10 British Grand Prix 2020

The race in Silverstone has everyone on the paddock a little too excited, maybe it’s because of the upcoming two week summer break that everyone desperately needs. Jungkook is seated with Lando, Phillip and Daniel for another set of press conferences and he’s starting to understand why drivers hate press day so much.

“Question for Jungkook, the first half of the season is almost over and you’re up there on the drivers championship charts just behind Lewis Hamilton and just ahead of your teammate, how does it feel to be considered serious competition in your first year in F1?” a reporter asks, somehow complementing Jungkook and taking a dig at the other two drivers who haven’t had the best year so far.

“This is a very competitive sport by its nature and only 20 superbly skilled drivers get to drive a formula one car, and being able to be on this lineup is a dream come true for me. My first year so far has been filled with highs and lows and it’s surreal to me to be on the top of the list right now, but it all can change in a couple of races. Teams are constantly working on their skills and cars so we never know when the championship takes a turn, right now I’m at a place of cautiousness, a lot can happen over the span of 12 races” Jungkook answers calmly, and Phillip sits back, a little awed.

Phillip has been in the sport longer than Jungkook, but the way Jungkook handles and answers each ridiculous to serious question is motivating for him.

“This has been a very highly requested question, you drive under the number 14, what’s the significance behind it” you’ve been watching another set of interviews of Jungkook, apparently people just can’t have enough of him. Phillip is also very focused on the screen, wishing he was as charismatic as his team mate.

“It’s my mother’s birth date. She was vehemently against me going into racing, she was worried not just about my safety but she also didn’t want me working under this kind of pressure since a young age. Despite that, I made it here, and this was just a way to make her proud and spite her, just a little bit” Jungkook says confidently, making the female reporter chuckle and Phillip scoff.

“His PR manager really spun a great story for him” Phillip says snacking on some popcorn while you turn around to give him a weird look.

“You too drive under our mother’s birthdate” you state and Phillip rolls his eyes, something is definitely up with him.

“That’s because she died, it’s a dedication to her” Phillip says increasing the volume to listen to the interview properly.

“If you weren’t a f1 driver, what would you be doing today?” “I’d be a college student, probably getting a degree in computer science. During my year as a reserve driver, I did some soul searching to really think about a future outside of racing, and computer science is what I landed on” Jungkook says with a charming smile and you watch the interviewer literally swoon for him.

“Who in the hell does soul searching?” Phillip complains again and you turn around to get some answers from him.

“What is up with you today? I thought you liked Jungkook” you ask and he looks away with a guilty look.“I have this feeling that ferrari is pushing for him to win the world championship, they want the youngest driver to win the championship to be him” Phillip offers and you’re the one rolling your eyes this time.

“And why wouldn’t they, he’s smart, handsome, great with press, very skilled, drives fast, he’s the golden boy they’ve been looking for” Phillip has never felt this threatened by a team mate, but with Jungkook there’s something different.

“You’ve been reading too much of all that nonsense gossip, you’re a three time world champion, ferrari wants you to be a four time world champion too” you try and reassure Phillip but he just exhales.

Jungkook’s glad to be seeing his sister and Harper again during his week in the UK, he’s maybe been a little too homesick. Sora and her husband both work in London, and for once he can sleep at a place resembling something close to home rather than another hotel room, even if just for a night.

Sora and him stumble around the kitchen, making the most of their mother’s kimchi for their dinner. “So, who have you been texting all night? Want to talk about her?” Sora has a know it all smirk on her face as she watches Jungkook lock his phone and put it down on the table, screen down.

“Why would you assume that it’s a her?” Jungkook asks, filling the two of their shot glasses with soju.

“It can be a he, she, they for all I care, I know it’s someone you’re interested in romantically” Sora knows Jungkook well, a little too well for his liking.

“I’ve been conflicted about asking her out, I’m worried that she sees me just as a friend and by making a move, I’ll ruin a great friendship” Jungkook comes clean with it, it’d be nice to talk to someone about it.

“I got her this meaningful gift, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but she hugged me. Not that I’m complaining, but it confused me” Jungkook had been racking his brain ever since that night in Monaco, he never stopped thinking about it.

“And there’s this another layer of complexity, she’s related to someone I work with-” “Oh my god, you’re talking about ___” Sora explains loudly, almost waking Harper up.

“Why? How’d you even get to that?” “I saw the two of you during that race in Australia, you were all pissed and grumpy about retiring the car but you came and sat beside her and suddenly you weren’t so pissed off” Sora had made that observation pretty early on, and it makes Jungkook wonder if they haven’t been so lowkey about each other.

“___ likes you” Sora says it like it’s a fact of life, like the world wouldn’t make sense if it weren’t true.

“Make sure to not rub that know-it-all attitude on Harper and explain” Jungkook asks and Sora laughs boisterously.

“Remember when we had that dinner on a yacht, you had some mustard on your hand. A good friend would point it out, maybe even hand you a tissue. Someone who’s interested in you will just swipe the mustard off, like it’s the most natural and sensible thing to do, she wouldn’t cross that line if she wasn’t interested in you” Sora’s explanation leaves Jungkook utterly shocked, Australia was a long time ago, have you been interested in him all this time?

“Is it really that simple?” Jungkook asks, now directly drinking Soju from the bottle. “Love is simple Jungkook”

Summer Break 2020

Summer in Monaco is beautiful, everyone enjoys a host of activities in the mediterranean summer, not that Jungkook would know anything about it. All he’s done for the first week is exercise, train on his stimulator and rot in his apartment, and he’s savored every moment of not having an engagement or meeting.

“Am I travelling somewhere? Nope, I needed a break from airplanes and hotel rooms” Jungkook talks looking straight to his camera as he phenomenally loses a race in a video game. He’s streaming while playing on his stimulator, he used to do this a lot last year, now not so much.

You ring the bell to Jungkook’s apartment a few times but he doesn’t answer, you wonder if the passcode to his apartment is the same one he texted you a few months ago. In a moment of impatience and wanting to pee after a long flight, you type in the code and to your surprise the door opens.

Jungkook hears a door in his apartment close and sits up straight, very alert right now. Namjoon had been begging him to get some security cameras and right now he’s regretting not listening to him. The stream is still going as Jungkook jumps out the seat and gingerly walks out the room.

He picks up a random shoe as he knocks on the occupied bathroom door, what’s his plan with the shoe? He doesn’t know but at least he has something to protect himself with. The world feels like it’s in slow motion as the door swings open, Jungkook was expecting a robber but it’s you, with a very confused look.

“What is with the shoe?” “I thought someone broke into my place” Jungkook whispers, knowing the stream is still live.

“I’ll be back” he says and you follow him into his spare room, “Jungkook what is it-” he shuts you up real nice by placing his palm on your face.

“I have a twitch stream going, go wait in the living room” “Okay” you mumble against his hand and he can’t help but smile.

You feel rejuvenated after spending a week with your grandmother and Phillip, it’s hard to get some quality time with the family all over the place.

Your grandmother on your father’s side lived in the countryside outside London, still in the same house your father was raised in. You had some ulterior motives for flying to Monaco before your father and brother, you had some work to take care of at the office and second, you wanted to spend some time with Jungkook.

And if watching tv and eating too much food counts as quality time, you’ve been doing that all evening since you arrived this morning.

Your head is itching very close to Jungkook’s shoulder the more episodes of the office you watch. He feels your head flop on his chest somewhere before 9, he turns to find you deep in sleep.

If he was a good friend, he’d wake you up, maybe even offer to drive you back home. But he was someone with a lot of romantic yet confusing feelings for you, he gently picks you up.

Jungkook lays you on his bed, and tucks you in. He sits by the bed for a minute, taking in every detail of your face, Jungkook’s never noticed how beautiful your eyelashes are before this. He was tempted to lay in the bed beside you, but he does the right thing and struggles with falling asleep in the guest room.

“Oh come on, you’re flying out to France the day after tomorrow. It’ll be race after race, after this weekend! Please just say yes” you plead over the phone as you walk back from the office.

Jungkook wasn’t the clubbing type, neither were you. But seeing all your friends having the best time of their lives all summer was giving you fomo.

“It’s going to me Lily, Stuart, you and I. I got us access to this new club’s vip lounge and I need you to say yes” “Who’s Stuart?” Jungkook asks drying his hair with a towel.

“Lily’s situationship, can you pick me up from my place around 11, we can get a cab from here” Jungkook doesn’t like a lot about this plan, clubbing, going someplace after 11, paying for expensive bad drinks, but he whispers a yes anyway.

Jungkook rings the bell at your family’s townhouse right at 11 pm, you don’t need to know that he’s been waiting on the stoop for five minutes. Swinging the door open, you smile with delight as Jungkook brings forward his hand with the prettiest set of flowers.

“These are for me?” It's surprising because most people don’t show up with flowers before they go clubbing.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come here empty handed” he makes the most unbelievable excuse, but you take the flowers anyway, you haven’t been given flowers, ever.

“I just need a minute to accessorise,” Jungkook isn’t listening the second he takes a good look at your very short, red dress.

“So, are you excited about getting back in the car?” you ask Jungkook as he takes a seat on the bed, through the vanity mirror you catch him staring.

“I’m thinking sneakers because heels are just impractical but it’s a fancy place so I want to be presentable” you say, bending a little with your back still facing him. Jungkook clears his throat nervously as you turn around, clearly having caught him checking you out.

“So, this is how I find out you’re an ass man?” his ears are blood red as you tease him.

Jungkook’s suspiciously quiet since you teased him, maybe you’re starting to feel bad about it. He makes some small talk with Stuart, but none with you.

“We’re going to get drinks, shots for everyone!” Lily and Stuart leave to get drinks the moment you get there, probably to make out in the bathroom.

“I am so sorry about earlier but please talk to me” you shout to Jungkook, sliding closer to him in the booth. The low lights and loud music are a reason enough for the two of you to be sitting so close.

“Sorry? I should be the one apologizing, it was inappropriate of me-” “I love how super sweet and nice you are, but I’d rather you check out my ass than anyone else's. Does that make sense?” you ask, sliding even closer, till your bare thigh is touching his.

This flusters Jungkook as he looks down sheepishly as he drapes an arm behind you. To your surprise, Stuart and Lily come back with not just shots, but also bottle service.

Around shot number 5 you pull Jungkook up, dancing with him off beat to a trendy pop song. Jungkook watches with loving eyes as Lily and you do a very bad job at dancing and singing to a song.

Jungkook doesn’t watch anymore as you stumble for the third time, he takes hold of you by your waist and the two of you stumble together, Jungkook’s pretty drunk himself.

“Your eyes sparkle, has someone ever told you that?” you had noticed this a long time ago, Jungkook has by far the most beautiful eyes ever.

“I want your eyes when you die” your seriousness makes Jungkook laugh like an idiot, him laughing like that makes you laugh like an idiot and it’s just a vicious cycle of laughter fuelled by vodka.

“I don’t want to go back to my empty home, can I stay with you?” you ask Jungkook as you lean his shoulder. There’s some music playing in the cab and your head is still spinning.

Jungkook has come to the realisation today that it’s hard to say no to you, mostly because of the soft smiles and pleading looks. You clutch onto his palm tightly as you struggle with walking on the cobblestone street.

“You’re sloshed” Jungkook states wrapping an arm around you, the heels were a mistake.

“You smell amazing” you whisper, starting to sober up as the elevator stops on his floor. Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he intertwines his hand with yours, doesn’t let go as the two of you walk into his dark apartment.

The events of the night as coming crashing back to you as you look Jungkook in the eyes, he has this confused look. Reaching over, you crease his stressed eyebrows and your hands drop to his neck, the two of you insanely close to each other.

The moment just feels right, with Jungkook’s arms circling you closer by the waist, you can’t help but lean into his lips, but right at the last second Jungkook turns his face around, your lips landing on his cheek.

“___, we’re wasted” he remarks breathing against your hair and you just nod.

“I have actual feelings for you, and I don’t want to sabotage my chance with you because we were drunk and made a mistake” it’s taking everything in Jungkook to not pin you against the wall and kiss your lips till he forgets how to breath.

“Can we go to bed?” you ask against his chest and he just nods, picking you up again.

Every limb in his body hurts as Jungkook shifts around in bed, he’s sweaty, uncomfortable and your head is nuzzled right in his chest. This isn’t like the time he woke up with you beside him after the accident, there isn’t any distance this time.

Jungkook squirms around and somehow turns the ac on, the cool wind makes you snuggle even closer to Jungkook’s hot body. He wants to detach himself from you and get some water, but since it’s been established that Jungkook is weak for you, he snuggles you back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up it because of pots banging in the kitchen, turning to his side he notices you’ve left the bed, again no one breaking into his place it’s just you.

The events of last night flash in his mind as he brushes his teeth, so many lines crossed, he’s worried that now you’re sober and awake, you regret them.

“So you didn’t have any groceries, all that was in your pantry was ramen and coffee so I made that. And I know you’re watching what you eat so there’s also a side of broccoli but I haven’t cooked broccoli before-“ Jungkook literally crashed you against the kitchen counter as his lips capture yours.

Jungkook kisses you with fervour and it takes you a second to process it, but soon enough your hands are tangled in his hair, biting his lip Jungkook has the most bashful smile as you pull away, absolutely needing to breath.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer” he whispers against your lips as he kisses you again. Right there, as you are smiling against his lips, Jungkook understands what Sora said about love being simple. It’s simple because it’s meant to be, anything else just wouldn’t make sense.  

Race 11 French Grand Prix 2020

As it turns out, the weekend of the race things get a little complicated, not between Jungkook and you. Some fan captured Jungkook and you on the way to his apartment and the pictures were all over the internet, the only bright side to the situation, you were the mystery girl, your face wasn’t captured in any of the blurry pictures.

“I’m sorry but I’m not releasing a personal statement, my personal life is none of people’s business and they shouldn’t have been photographing us in the first place” Jungkook says putting away the statement Claudia handed him.

“Okay but you keep it quiet if any reporters bring her up, and please for the love of god be careful.” Claudia leaves with that, she has more important things to take care of.

Namjoon sits back with disappointment, the fans and press are really having their time with this.

“Who was she?” his manager asks as Jungkook does some before race stretches, he’d usually play with a football outside but he’s in no mood for press or fans.

“Are you going to see her again?” Jungkook does answer this question with a simple nod.

“This isn’t like you, you aren’t the hooking up kind” “We didn’t hook up, hyung I really care about her and I don’t want our relationship to end even before it starts. Can you have the press go easy on this?” Jungkook pleads and Namjoon sighs standing up.

“I’ll try, maybe you’ll have to do a special interview with one. Give them something else to talk about”

Jungkook: it’s 10pm, where are you :((( You: Maya arranged a dinner to celebrate Phillip’s win, we’re on our way back to the hotel Jungkook: What about soothing my loss of coming second Jungkook: I had a thing planned You: I’ll be there in a few minutes, just stay put Jungkook: room 1202, I’m waiting

“So, we’re getting drinks with a few other drivers and their partners, wanna tag along?” Maya asks the four of you leave the restaurant. It was an amazing French delicacy restaurant but all you could focus on the entire time was being back at the hotel.

“I’ll just tag back with dad, we have a early flight and-“ “oh my god you are dating Jungkook aren’t you” Maya accuses you with a whisper as she pulls you aside.

“That’s just, um, how did you even, we aren’t dating Maya” you as a little frazzled by the accusation and Maya just gasps loudly.

“Because we bought that red dress together, you weren’t so sure, I thought you looked amazing, later we also had that conversation about me borrowing that dress and oh my god you’re dating him aren’t you” Maya accuses you and again you try and defend yourself.

“We aren’t, that night we just went clubbing, fell asleep at his apartment and kissed in the morning. But we absolutely aren’t dating” this isn’t you defending yourself, this is you spilling the beans the first chance you get.

“So, where do you guys stand now?” this question stuns you, you haven’t talked to him about the two of you since that morning. It’s too soon to ask that question.

“I don’t know but you can’t tell Phillip, he’ll go all big brother and I want to figure it out myself”

Jungkook’s suite is suspiciously quiet as you make your way in, things start to make sense as you catch Jungkook who’s fallen asleep while waiting for you. There’s also a table set with food, wine, candles and flowers right by him.

“Jungkook, come on let’s get you to bed” you say sitting by him as your fingers tap his cheek. He stirs awake right away, smiling when he realises it’s you.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, come on you’ll sprain your neck” you say as he sits up straight but Jungkook’s not listening to you. He just pulls you up with him and walks over to the set-up table.

“I thought we could have our first date tonight, even though you’ve eaten already and it’s too late for dinner” Jungkook whispers in your ear as he pulls a chair for you.

Jungkook lights up the candles and pour some wine before he takes the seat across you. “Now tell me, what’s your favourite color?” he asks as you laugh putting down your wine glass.

“Really, that’s the big opening question” “Yes, this is quintessential first date question, now tell me” he pleads with his glimmering eyes and you give in.

“Sage green, what about you?” you ask and he smiles looking down at his hands.

“Guess” “Blue?” you suggest and Jungkook really thinks about it, he’s never really thought about what his favourite color was, but the way you lit up when he nodded yes to your guess, it might as well be.

Race 12 Belgian Grand Prix

It’s a few days before the race, Tuesday to be precises and Jungkook has an invaluable off day with no schedule or work at all. He decided the best thing to do was explore the city of Brussels, with you.

Jungkook had the entire day planned, which started with a bright and early morning of exploring the city and it’s beautiful architecture. “So, is this our second date?” you ask Jungkook as the two of you put on sunglasses and hats before leaving the hotel, hopefully no pictures are taken this time.

“I guess” “Hopefully today tops the cold pasta and warm wine” you joke fixing his beanie.

“It was a spectacular first date! you laughed so hard you choked on that warm wine” he whines circling his arms around you.

“If you want a third or any more dates with me, promise me you’re never going to bring that up again” you whisper, leaning dangerously close to him.

“I’m making no such promises” Jungkook whispers before kissing you, every kiss with him is full of the same fervour as that morning.

“Come on, we have the city to explore” you say pushing his chest away and he groans, seizing the distance again.

“How about I explore every inch of your body instead” he says pulling on your earlobe just a little. The previous smile on your face is replaced by a tighter, forced one as you again push him back.

“As tempting as that offer is, we’d regret not making the most of the day” you say pulling him out the hotel room by his arm and Jungkook slides down his hand, intertwining it with yours.

The night was getting darker as the two of you walked back to the hotel, hand in hand. To put it simply, it had been one of the most perfect and romantic day and you were starting to dread having a difficult conversation with Jungkook.

“Hey, so, um, kinda wanted to come right out with it because it’s very embarrassing for me” you say and Jungkook stops in his tracks and quirks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook’s voice is laced with concern and you have to look away.

“Nothing is wrong per say, but, um like, how do I say it without me sounding like a complete weirdo?” “It can’t be that bad” Jungkook pleads and you scoff, knowing it’s a little bad.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend, not that I’m assuming that we are a couple. Since I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never been with someone, sexually. I just never had the chance before, and someone right never came along and now I’m this 20-year freak with no dating experience at all. I’d understand if you never want to see me again, I’d be fine with pretending we never-“

“___, breath” Jungkook says cradling your face and forcing you to see him in the eyes.

“You’re not some freak, you’re only 20 it’s natural to not be that experienced. We can take it at a pace you’re comfortable with, I promise I’ll be patient with you” Jungkook reassures you and you’re worries about this are starting to fade away.

“It’s just that I gave this speech to some other guy and he didn’t react so well” you say hugging him tightly.

“Well, give me that jerks name so I can punch him square in the face” Jungkook chuckles as he kisses the top of your head.

“If you’re going to go around punching people for me, I have a list” you laugh and Jungkook detaches himself, giving you a knowing look.

“What else are boyfriends for if not to punch people that have wronged their girlfriends”

You: Please be careful with the rain and all, I don’t want another incident Jungkook: I’ll try, if there is one just no crying this time You: I’ll try Jungkook: Also, when I win, if I say ‘yeah baby’ on the radio, know that I’m saying that to you You: ‘When’, little too cocky aren’t we Jeon Jungkook: You’re my girlfriend now, you have to support me, in cockiness and health

You’re a blushing mess as you re read Jungkook’s text, it’s a little unbelievable being called his girlfriend. Tonight, it’s just you, your books and the race on the tv.

“And there goes Jeon Jungkook, crossing the checkered flag a whole 5 seconds ahead of his teammate at P1, this win is puts him whole 12 points ahead of his teammate and at the top of the championship” the commentator cheers and the crowd goes wild.

“That’s P1 mate and at the top of the championship, you were stunningly fast this race!!” the team principal cheers on Jungkook through the radio as he doesn’t stop the random shouting out of joy.

“Thanks for the team, this car has been delivering race after race. So incredibly lucky to be driving a ferrari, seriously so fucking lucky. YEAH BABY!!!!!!” Jungkook cheers and you’re blushing so hard it’s embarrassing. Race 13 Netherlands Grand Prix 2020

“You’ve won seven races this season, eight if you win tomorrow, it must feel incredible to be this close to winning the championship” the reporter says and Jungkook chuckles looking away.

“Winning always feels incredible, things have been working out so positively for me that it feels surreal. Eight months ago I was thinking of giving up on my F1 dream and now I’m here and there are days when this doesn’t feel real” Jungkook says as Phillip comes around for his interview.

Things had been tense in the Ferrari garage to put it simply. There had been far too many strategy meetings out of which Phillip had stormed out of. He’d also made some comments regarding the team favouring Jungkook and devising strategy that helped Jungkook get closer to the championship, it had been a PR disaster.

“Now Phillip, Ferrari has clearly produced a winning car but you’ve had fierce competition from your team mate. Are you still hopeful about winning the championship?” another interviewer asks and Phillip tries very hard to not roll his eyes.

“Well Jeon is a fast driver and I could learn a few things about his break skills, but I have seven-year experience of driving on these tricky circuits so I’m hopeful” Phillip answers the way he’s been advised by his PR team, the interviewer can sense the fakeness in his tone.

“Ferrari has not historically been a team that gambles on young drivers but the bet they made on Jeon Jungkook is clearly working out. Now your contract is up to expire next year, do you feal threatened by the younger driver replacing you?” this time Phillip does roll his eyes.

“Ferrari isn’t in the game for gambling, they’re in the game for winning, and I win”

“Your brother called me pretty boy during a comms meeting, I was offended and delighted at the same time” Jungkook says placing his phone against the pillow, it was race day tomorrow he had to sleep early.

“Can we not talk about work, I don’t want you bitching about my brother. Phillip just got done bitching about you” you groan shuffling in bed yourself, you’d spent the entire Saturday studying and you were starting to get better.

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me? I’ve been nothing but nice to him” Jungkook groans and you sit up in bed and groan too.

“Phillip’s always been competitive, when we were little, he once made me cry after I won against him in chess. This isn’t your issue, it’s his” you say sighing with defeat, the better the season got for Jungkook, the worse it got for Phillip.

“How many men have made you cry ___? There are only so many punches I can throw” Jungkook tries and joke to make this situation a little less tense, he’s successful based on the way you’re smiling.

“I’m starting to miss you, luckily I’ll be there next week” “Starting to? You’re starting to miss me after two weeks?” Jungkook’s offended tone only makes you laugh harder and him more offended.

The race starts off fine, the race is almost a little boring till lap 30. “The two ferrari are once again one tenth of a second away from each other. The two drivers have been competing with each other all season and, OH turn 3 and Phillip tries and overtake Jeon but Jeon maintains his P1 position” the commentator says and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat as Phillip fails at overtaking again.

“Phillip box now, box now” “I’ll box after I’m done overtaking” Phillip yells over the radio and you wince, taking a big swig of your beer.

“Please the strategy is to maximize distance with competition and you need to box-“ “Shut up!” Phillip yells and manoeuvres an overtake and you gasp with shock as the two ferrari’s make contact.

“What is wrong with him?” Jungkook asks frustratingly over the radio as he somehow keeps the lead.

“Phillip please don’t damage the car, box now box now-“ “And the two ferrari’s make contact again, Jeon’s rear crashing with Phillip’s front wing, taking both the cars out” you look at the tv in shock, knowing this isn’t going to end well.

Jungkook’s searing red with anger as he walks into the garage, he takes quick strides towards Phillip who’s talking to an engineer and pushes him back by the shoulders.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook shouts and the engineer stands between the two of them, not wanting any more of this happen on camera.

“Look I’m sorry, I should have listened to-“ “Damn right you should’ve! Your ego cost us so many points, FUCK!” Jungkook walks away as he notices the sheer amount of camera’s around them.

Race 14 Italian Grand Prix 2020

“I think I’m going to need the two of you to hold hands or kiss in public” Claudia says very seriously and Jungkook snickers, tired of this week already. It’s safe to say the press has been having their fun with the articles and headlines, to be fair the two of them handed them everything on a silver platter.

“This isn’t my problem, I wasn’t the one who attacked my car. I have been complaint with the decided strategy, even when it didn’t favour me, that’s because I know how to be a team player” Jungkook says standing up and putting his cap back on.

“He’s right, I just need to go through some difficult press questions and be done with this” Phillip says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks. It had been bad for Jungkook but it had been absolutely shitty for Phillip. Usually, Jungkook would be understand, maybe even sympathise but he’s angry still.

“I have a list of questions and answers prepared, the two of you will absolutely stick to it” Claudia says handing the two drivers a big stack of papers. Jungkook is ready to leave the garage when Phillip jogs up to him.

“Look, you were right, I let my ego get the best of me. Can we hash it out with dinner?” Phillip asks tapping Jungkook on his shoulder. “I have dinner plans with my girlfriend” Jungkook dismisses the proposal immediately and Phillip lets out a defeated sigh.

This has been the worst week of his life, and watching the office with you is a great escape. “Why are you so fidgety tonight?” Phillip asks as he plops on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn. There was only one reason for you being this fidgety, Jungkook had planned a romantic dinner, he picked out a restaurant and everything but you had to cancel last minute. Leaving Phillip while he’s a whinny, complaining mess was just not an option.

“I had coffee after 6” you dismiss shovelling a bunch of popcorn in your face.

You: I’m so sorry … You: I promise to make up for this, no matter what it takes You: Jungkook please respond to my texts

Another episode starts and Phillip sits up, wanting to ask you something all this while.

“so, um, I know you had a few therapy sessions after your incident. How did you go about it?” Phillip asks and you finally realise why he wanted to hang out, he was anxious about therapy.

“I’m still in therapy” you say and Phillip looks at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“Therapy can be a difficult, excruciating process, first they usually start with ‘Why do you think you’re here’” you say and Phillip sits up straight, really thinking the question through.

“I have some serious self-esteem issues, it sometimes feels like people give me their time of the day only when I’m successful, and that terrifies me of losing” Phillip’s honestly stuns you, he isn’t the kind to be vocal about his emotions.

“How did your first session go?” Phillip asks, as he turns to look at you.

“So much crying, I remember falling crying to sleep, the first few sessions would leave me exhausted”  your head falls back with exhaustion just thinking about it.

“I feel like a bad sibling for letting you crying to sleep, I wish I was there for you” Phillip says reaching for your arm and patting it.

“You were there for me Phillip, and time went by and the thoughts in my head started terrorising me less and less every day.” You are getting a little chocked up just thinking about it, you can’t help but play with the ring signifying your past. 

“But you have to be patient, even when the process feels like it’s pushing you to your limits. When it starts feeling like too much, you come to me and we’ll watch the office together” you say and Phillip smiles thankfully.

Phillip leaves after a while, mumbling something about having to call Maya and you’re still stuck on the sofa. Jungkook hasn’t responded to any of your texts and you can already imagine the first fight. Playing with the key card to his hotel room, you’ve missed him so much and a fight is worth having if you get to see him.

His room is pitch dark as it always is as he falls asleep, and you stubbing your toe against the table is enough to wake him up. Jungkook groans as he sits up, resting his naked torso against the headboard. Dodging his eyes you slide into bed beside him, the stiff silence in the room making you anxious.

“Phillip has been in a terrible condition and I just couldn’t tell him I had plans when he wanted to talk to me” you say and Jungkook sighs, turning his head towards you.

“I understand ___” Jungkook says as his hand intertwines with yours.

“You do?” your voice is laced with extreme shock, not expecting this response at all.

“Yes, did I want to spend some quality time with you, also yes” Jungkook says and you turn to face him too.

“How about, tomorrow, we wake up bright and early and have a breakfast date before practice?” you ask and Jungkook answers with a soft kiss. The kiss just intensifies as Jungkook pulls you in his laps, his hands grasping your waist tightly.

Things are starting to get hot and heavy, you can feel his bulge against your centre and it’s driving you insane. Jungkook snaps out of it as your nails leaves some marks around his neck.

“___” he whispers your name as his forehead rests on yours, his hot breath fanning your flushed cheeks.

“We should go back to sleep if we want to be up early tomorrow” Jungkook can’t believe the sheer restraint he’s showing. The two of you snuggle as close as humanly possible and Jungkook sighs against your hair, tonight he’s fine with just getting to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 15 Singapore Grand Prix 2020

“How does it feel being back in Singapore? You left an impressive mark as a mercedes reserve driver just a year ago and now you’re second on the drivers’ championship, what a year it has been” the interviewer asks and Jungkook smiles widely, thinking back to his year.

“Singapore is always going to be special to me and after the win last weekend the team and I are trying to maximize out chances for the championship” Jungkook answers and another interviewer stands up to ask another question.

“Talking about team, how is the tension in the Ferrari garage after the incident in Netherlands?” Jungkook was expecting this question, and Phillip tenses up beside him the second he clears his throat to answer it.

“Well, tensions can be high in this sport when the difference between P1 and P2 are hundredth of second, but we’re working on keeping it civil, Phillip and I are in couples therapy of sorts” Jungkook adlibs the last part, but based on the approving smile Claudia gives, he did good.

“Hey, can we talk?” Phillip asks as they’re leaving the press conference. Jungkook just mutters a sure as they quietly walk to the Ferrari garage.

“I never really apologised to you” Phillip says sitting opposite the Jungkook, the hospitality area is empty after the practice.

“You don’t need to” “No, I do need to. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’m been an absolute piece of shit” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles, trying to ease the situation.

“Since I fucked up my chances at the championship this year. I’m not going to block you, anymore” this is uncharacteristic for Phillip, Jungkook doesn’t know if he’s being serious or not.

“Phillip, I’ve admired you as a driver because of how competitive you are. And our competition is what makes racing fun, I don’t want you to stop fighting till the end” Jungkook says and Phillip chuckles, crossing his legs.

“Let’s just steer away from costing the team millions in damages, but there are seven races left, anything can happen” “You’re a polite motherfucker, game on Jeon”

Jungkook is back at the podium after a difficult race, he was sweaty, exhausted but it’s nothing compared to being drenched by champagne.

He spots you cheering and sends a wink your way, all he wishes was for a congratulatory kiss from you, a kiss that tells the entire world that you are with him.

But he waits till he’s back at your hotel room, pinning you against a wall, he hungrily kisses you, his hot hands wandering under your shirt.

“Take off your shirt” you whisper in his ear, tugging on the red ferrari polo. Jungkook toned abdomen distracts you for a second, and Jungkook takes advantage of it, unbuttoning your shirt.

“___ are you sure? We can wait” his question makes you contemplate for a full few seconds.

“How about we test the waters instead” “Third base?” Jungkook asks picking you up as your legs wrap around him instinctually.

Jungkook sits on the bed, you still on his lap as he takes a quick look at you, you seem to shiver with anticipation for what’s about to happen.

“Have I told you just how pretty you are” he says pushing some of your hair out of your face.

“You have, but right now I need you to lay back so I can suck your dick” you surprise him by pushing him back in bed.

“I’m going to fall in love with you if you keep talking like that” he moans lightly at the last part as you cup his bulge. “That’s the plan baby”

Jungkook is not so gently tugging on your nipple as another finger enters you, making you moan even louder. Your hips are shaking with an orgasm as Jungkook reaches for you lips, kissing them gently. Exhausted after the activities of this night, he plops on the bed beside you, the two of you still breathing very heavily.

There’s comfortable silence as Jungkook stands up and returns with a clean towel, wiping you off and getting you some water.

“___, baby, please say something, I’m kinda starting to freak out. You have this stoic look and I don’t know if you regret what just happened-“ “I don’t, I just can’t think straight still” you say standing up and slipping on one of his t-shirt.

“So, you don’t regret it?” he asks sitting back on the bed.

“Of course, I don’t, I’ve just, um, this is new to me and I don’t know how to react and I’m so exhausted and can I just say, the thing you did with your tongue, WOW” you say sitting on his lap and circling your arms around him.

“I could say the same ___, about the tongue thing” Jungkook confesses as his neck flushes, just thinking about the earlier events.

“Kook, I’m glad you were my first about tonight, and will be many more of my firsts for more things. If you were any other guy, you’d be impatient, needy, definitely wouldn’t have waited three months to go third base. So, thank you for being patient, kind, caring and so fucking handsome it’s unreal” you say and Jungkook breaks another one of his shy smiles, they’re pretty rare so you savour them.

Race 16 Japanese Grand Prix 2020

There’s a camera on the study table as you step out the washroom, still drying your hair.

“What’s with the camera?” you ask Jungkook who’s sorting the two of your luggage in the closet. There was a week off and while most drivers chose to fly home, Jungkook had convinced you into a four-day trip in South Korea.

“I want to document our first trip, now come on we have to be places” the camera focuses on you for the most time as the two of you explore Seoul, you might have to fly back just for the food.

The inevitable happens during day 2 in Seoul, Jungkook’s spotted and asked for some pictures. Now you understand why Jungkook insisted on you wearing a mask and cap, because you just take a few steps away from him, letting people take as many pictures as they can.

“I’m so sorry guys but I’m out with my girlfriend” Jungkook says to the enthusiastic group of people. He jogs up to you, intertwines his hand with yours and kind of pulls you along.

“Why’d you do that?” you ask as you sit in the rented car beside him. “Do what?” Jungkook asks sheepishly, knowing exactly what you’re asking him.

“Announce to the world that you have a girlfriend” “I think you just answered my question” you check twitter a few hours later, and of course the biggest mystery is who is the ferrari golden boy dating.

“Did it hurt?” you ask as your fingers gently hover around the first tattoo Jungkook just got.

“Hurt when I fell from heaven?” he jokes and you scoff getting out of your boots.

“The tattoo you dumbass,” “I like dumbass more than baby, but I did almost like a constant ant bite, not too severe but present” Jungkook says as you fall back on the bed, a little too tired from todays walking around.

“I’ve always wanted one but I can never commit” you say tracing lines on your arm, thinking of exactly what tattoo you want.

“I made a pact with myself, every time I go through something difficult, once the difficult part is over, I’d get a tattoo. To remind myself of the pain but also to have something that symbolised me getting through it” he says plopping on the bed beside you, and you turn pushing some of his hair away.

“What difficult part compelled this one?” “June last year, my racing future was looking pretty bleak. I couldn’t afford another year of being a reserve driver after 13 years of time and money invested to get me to Formula 1. I was terrified and anxious, wondering what the next year was going to look like, and by luck I was given one saving chance. And a year later, I’m in love, driving for ferrari and in the lead for the championship” Jungkook’s voice and eyes both hold you in place, with a magnetic hold.

“You love me?” you whisper and Jungkook snaps out of it, realising what he just blurted out.

“I have for some time now, I was waiting for the right time and I guess today is it. ___ I know we’re taking it slow and there’s no kind of pressure-“ he stops talking when a big bright smile appears on your face, the same one he saw the morning he kissed you.

“I love you Jungkook” you say throwing your arms around him and pulling him closer for a kiss and a million others.

Apparently, the complete paddock saw the thousands of tweets speculating the identity of Jungkook’s girlfriend. A usually boring driver’s parade in Japan is turned into a speculative morning with a million questions for him. 

“How long has it been going on?” Lando asks and Phillip nods enthusiastically, wanting a scoop of gossip too.

“Five months” Jungkook answers nonchalantly and Lando is hooting immediately.

“Five months? How come she hasn’t been at the paddock yet” Phillip asks and Jungkook is a little stunned, having to decide between how much he has to lie.

“We’re just kinda taking it slow, and with press and fans involved it can get intense” Jungkook answers honestly, omission isn’t lying.

“That is pretty smart, one day you’re in a chill romantic relationship, next day all of the internet is too involved in everything you do” Phillip speaks from experience.

“How’d you meet each other?” Lando shoots another question and Jungkook smiles tightly, knowing he can’t get away from them.

“Common friends” Jungkook is kinda right about this, at least that’s what he tells himself.

“Jesus, you can’t even just think of her without smiling, can you?” Phillip say smacking his shoulder ever so slightly.

“I’m in love” Jungkook confesses like a love sick idiot, glad to be talking about you with someone other than Sora.

Race 17 United States Grand Prix 2020

“I have exams next week, I’m sorry if I can’t drop everything and be in Vegas with you” you say on the phone and Jungkook groans getting out the car.

“But I thought we could blow stupid amount of money on crap we don’t need, and when we do get sloshed, I would have kissed you this time” he says locking the car as he follows one of the manager that leads him up to his room.

“As tempting as a sloppy make out sounds, you know how bad I’m at history. And if you want a well educated girlfriend with a respected job in the future, you’ll stop whining, get changed into something classy and go out and have some fun” Jungkook can imagine you sitting sternly as you say that.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go out with Lando and we’ll gamble a stupid amount of money, will that make you happy” Jungkook says as the manager hands him the hotel room key with a big smile.

“Oh so happy, but remember to buy me something expensive with all the money you win”

“How can you be so sure that I’m going to be winning tonight?” he asks as he opens the hotel room, dropping his bag in the hallway.

“Honey, you’re going to be winning tonight” Jungkook doesn’t just hear your voice from the phone, he also hears it from the room in the suite.

“I thought you had to study” Jungkook whispers, not believing you are sitting in his bed.   

“And I thought we could play strip notecard game, every answer I get wrong you remove an article of clothing” you say pointing to the huge stack of notecards you’ve been studying through.

“That isn’t right, you’ll just be answering wrong on purpose” he says sitting on the and pulling you closer by your chin.

“There’s a twist, for every five answers I get wrong, you add back another layer of clothing” you say pecking his lips, ever so gently.

You are starting to regret the romantic, sexy, fun game because you forgot to factor in your boyfriends stupid level of competitiveness. “Come on baby, you’re one wrong answer away from me putting back my jeans” he teases as you continue to huff about the difficult question, getting more and more worried about the coming test.

“Oh! I am so infuriated by you right now, it’s past mid night, we should have already had sex by now” you complain as you scoot closer to him and swat the notecards away from him.

“I’m not losing this game ___” he says as you sliding even closer, eventually landing back in his lap.

“You hate losing, don’t you?” you ask grinding against his growing hard dick.

“I do, but I also-“ Jungkook stops talking the second you slide off your sweater that’s been hiding your naked tits.

“I think I’m going to be winning this one” you whisper against his ear, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek and pulling back.

“Baby, I don’t think I’m going to be hypnotised by your tits, this terrible game just proved how much you need to be studying, and jesus christ” he whispers the last part as cup one of your breasts, and Jungkook knows he’s lost this game.

“I might be losing this one but first, I’m going to fuck you till you see the stars for teasing me all night. And second, we’re going to sit down and study because I can’t have you failing on my watch” Jungkook says flipping you around and pinning you down.

“Failing, like you’re failing right now” you say and he groans as his lips hover over yours.

“I love how cocky you are” “More than you love me?” you ask daringly as his lips touch yours.

“Nothing is bigger than my love for you ___” that’s the last thing Jungkook says before he accomplishes the task of turning you into a moaning and shaking mess.

“I wanted us to go to a male strip show but Phillip is being a little bitch about it” Maya says as the two of you walk to the ferrari hospitality for the race.

“How about we tell him that we’re going shopping and sneak out and catch a sexy little show” you suggest and Maya scoffs.

“Phillip knows me too well, he’s going to know I’m lying” “Well, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” you say as the two of you sit down on a sofa.

“Is that your strategy with dating Jungkook and not telling Phillip about it” she gives you a pointed look as she says that, Maya has tried her best to not pester you about it, but she’s getting concerned.

“It is the 21st century, I don’t need anyone permission to date anyone-“ “As much as I love a good feminist rant, you and I both know it’s not about permission but rather keeping things from your brother. Important things like dating his team mate, who he’s had a sort of turbulent relationship, and they’re finally getting along” Maya says as the two of you look at the two drivers discussing something pre-race.

“I know, that’s why Jungkook and I have decided to tell him after the final race. Once the season is over and everyone is a little relaxed, then maybe we four could even do a trip to the Bahamas” Jungkook and you had talked about this, extensively.

“Jungkook wanted to come clean earlier, but we’re just in this romantic cocoon and everything feels so right and we don’t want to change anything, for as long as we can” you say and Maya smiles supportively, she can absolutely understand the romantic bliss you’re in right now.

“He’s the one isn’t he” Maya asks and you’re too distracted to answer her, Jungkook and you hold each other’s eyes through the distance and it’s hard to look away.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2020

It was exam week, and you were starting to give up on the idea of college. The night before the test, you remembered exactly why you dropped out in the first place, but you don’t have to time to freak out, you need to be studying.

“___?” your father ass knocking on your door. He comes in and places a warm cup of hot coco on your desk.

“It’s just an exam” he says running a hand through the hair you might have been pulling on too much.

“But what if I fail at this too” you say, biting your lip as an attempt to not cry. Your father sighs, sitting across you on your bed.

“You didn’t fail at figure skating, you cracked half your body giving your best and you’re still sitting here, that’s not failure honey. You’ve given your best before a million times before during each competition, I’m sure you can do it again” these words of reassurance are all you needed, your father isn’t the biggest touchy feely person, but tonight he is.

“And you are too fiercely independent to be someone’s trophy wife, so I have the utmost faith in you” he says as he again ruffles your hair, trying to soothe you a little.

“That is the best compliment I’ve received, ever” you are feeling a little better after talking to him and the warm cup of coco, you’re not as anxious as you drift off to sleep.

Jungkook knows he should be mediating right now, it’s his pre-race ritual that he sticks to religiously. But today he’s all sorts of distracted, waiting for a text or call from you. Today was the last exam and during the week, there’s been a few texts from you, he understands that you’re busy. But he still got his hopes up about a sweet good luck text.

Usually there’s quietness from Phillip’s side of the driver room, but today he seems to be talking to someone. The voices aren’t clear but Jungkook hears a ‘I told you it was going to be fine’, he assumed Phillip is on call with you and sticks his ear to the shared wall, not one of Jungkook’s proudest moment.

“I can’t believe the questions were so easy, I was kinda prepared for the worse” Jungkook’s suspicious are proven right when he hears your voice through the wall, making him feel a little less stupid about this.

Jungkook shakes with surprise when his phone vibrates against his thigh, You: I know you’re deep in your meditation right now, so I’m not going to disturb you. You: Good luck on the race! Please be safe ❤️ You: I love you ❤️ You: And I crushed my tests, like you told me I was going to You: I’ll see you in Brazil ❤️

Jungkook doesn’t reply right away, too distracted blushing over the fact that you were indeed thinking of him.

“My father has always been a major racing fan, and he’d take my sister and I karting all the time, somewhere along the way I started doing it competitively and here I am” Jungkook answers the podcasters question of how he got into racing.

“What about you sister?” “She found her computer more interesting, she works in big data now” Jungkook answers jokingly. They go back and forth about this season, team, other teams, strategy and other technical stuff.

“You’ve had one of the most phenomenal F1 debut in the history, and the build up has been keeping everyone on their heels. What does it mean to win the championship this year?”

“Everything, it literally has been building up for 13 years. This was an incomprehensible dream to me just a year ago, there are some days when I wake up wondering if this has all been a very vivid dream” Jungkook says and the host nods knowingly.

“How is your relationship with Ferrari looking like, they signed you for two years last year, do you think this relationship is going to extend” they ask and Jungkook chuckles, sitting up straight.

“I think I’ve done everything in my ability to prove to ferrari that I’m a driver worth having on their team, and right now the future looks positive” Jungkook says, alluding to a possible contract extension.

“We’ve covered your racing career extensively, how about a few questions about your personal life” the host asks and Jungkook smirks, knowing this was coming all this time.

“You were spotted with your girlfriend in Seoul and not since, is the relationship over” “It’s the opposite, we are in a very relationship, we just want to stay away from the cameras and media for as long as possible. The attention on me has been immense since I started with Ferrari, while I absolutely am grateful for the fans love and attention, I also have this wish to protect her for all kinds of attention that comes along with dating me” Jungkook answers and the host sits up with another question.

“You haven’t invited her to the paddock yet, will she be here cheering for you winning in Abu Dhabi?” “We haven’t discussed it yet, but wherever she is, she’ll be cheering for me” Jungkook answers pragmatically, giving away as least information as he can.

Race 19 Brazilian Grand Prix 2020

“Put the white t-shirt down Kook” you threaten him jokingly as he down put down the t-shirt. After persuading Jungkook for a mere few seconds, he’d agreed for you to help him shop. He’s been wearing ferrari merch like uniform and desperately needs help, as you put it gently.

“We can get a white t-shirt, but not the plain kind, something with waffling that looks classy by itself but also great under a blazer or jacket” you say picking up another thing for Jungkook to try on.

“What kinda clothes do you want?” you ask and he hums with wonderment.

“I like your style, shirts, knit sweaters, also that half zipper jumper you love, I need multiple of those” he says feeling a sweater and you stand there, delighted.

“Also, a few straight fit jeans, I’m bored of the skinny ones, and a chunky pair of sneakers, also a good bomber jacket” the list of stuff Jungkook wants just rolls off his tongue, and you snicker, thinking back to his earlier statement of ‘I don’t need new stuff’

“What about you? New handbag? Boots?” “I was thinking a skirt, now that the surgery scars on my thigh are fading, I want to try skirts again” you mention and Jungkook eye’s light up immediately, pulling you to the women’s section.

“Baby I want you to dress however you feel comfortable, but I’d also like to make a formal request to add skirts back in your rotation” Jungkook pleads as you spin around to give him a good look of the leather skirt.

The two of you sigh with exhaustion as you sit down on the park bench, Jungkook’s arm immediately comes around your shoulder, your face nestling on his chest.

After a long morning of shopping, you surprised him with a fancy dinner at a restaurant, a rare event for two of you together. You feel contentment as you feel his warmth, contentment is something you haven’t felt in a while.

Turning to look up at him, you smile lifting your face to look him in the eyes. “Why don’t you ever ask me about my accident?” you have been wondering about this for a while now.

He bites his lip as he thinks his answer through, “I’ve wanted to, but I also don’t want you to think of the accident again” he answers truthfully, and to his surprise you smile encouragingly.

“Ask me, I really want you to know” “How did it happen?” a simple question has you back on the ice.

You tell him about the night before an important competition, you had a complicated routine and wanted to practice a few times before the morning came. The ice rink was especially quiet as you slid across, calming yourself with a few deep breaths you begin the routine effortlessly. Everything feels natural till it comes to the triple axel, you knew you were doing it wrong the second your feet were off the ground, falling flat on your face.

You felt some blood on your lips, your nose was possibly bleeding but you attempted the jump again and failing, concussing yourself. By the third attempt you were crying because of frustration and fear for tomorrow, but you end back on your feet, having handed a perfect triple axel.

“So, you landed the move?” Jungkook asks with confusion, this is not what he was expecting.

“I did, and I was confident as I left the rink, but I was also very concussed. Nothing felt off till I walked to the stairs to get out the centre, I was holding on to something as I was lightheaded, one miss step and I was barrelling down the stairs, that’s what injured me” you say as you remember shutting your eyes with pain as you lay on the cold concrete, multiple parts of your body feeling broken.

“A maintenance worker found me bleeding and next thing I remembered was Phillip sobbing as he called out my name” you say and other tear escapes your eyes, his warm hand, wipes it away again.

“I was so happy being able to do a graceful triple axel and down went my dreams” you whisper snuggling even closer to him.

“I had a broken back, shattered hip and bleeding from my head but I’m still here, it could’ve been worse. I could have died if I bled out on that concrete floor for another hour” you shudder thinking about the what could haves of that night.

Jungkook doesn’t know if his words could ever comfort you, so he kisses your forehead as he wipes away another string of tears.

Race 20 Qatar Grand Prix 2020

“___, I have to leave for qualifying soon, I can’t be late” Jungkook complains as you look for something in your luggage. You’d just landed in Qatar and came straight to his hotel room.

“I know for a fact that you have another half hour to spare, so sit your ass down” your sternness does make him sit on the bed, usually he likes to get to the garage a little earlier than expected, but not today.

He looks at you with confusion as you place a small velvet box in his hands. Opening it, he discovers a dainty silver chain, and his confusion just grows.

“I was 15 and it was my first time competing at the Olympic level. Apparently, in figure skating wearing a necklace is considered a good luck charm, but I didn’t have one before the competition. So, my mother removed this chain and put it around my neck, I made a ring out of the pendent, and the chain is a very late birthday present for you” you explain with a soft smile.

“It indeed turned out to be a good luck charm for me, and now it’s yours” you continue and the endeared smile on his face only grows.

“This is too personal, don’t you want to keep something your late mother gave you?” he asks closing the box and his hands reach for yours.

“I want you to have my good luck charm, especially when I’ll too busy to attend your races because I’ll be busy at university next few years” you had already started with university interviews and were hopeful.

“Years? You think we’re in it for the long haul?” Jungkook asks and you mumble a simple yes and a hopeful smile.

“I think so too” Jungkook whispers as he kisses your lips, today he could care less about being late.

Race 21 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook was cornered into a meeting with Namjoon and Claudia after the race. He didn’t know what to expect as he walked into that office but the stoic look on their faces didn’t sit right with him.

“Congratulations on the win” Claudia says as he takes the seat opposite him.

“Thanks” Jungkook says picking up the envelope Claudia put in front of him. He gingerly opens the envelope, and to his surprise, it contains a few blurry pictures of you and him at a restaurant, possibly from Brazil.

“Is that ___ Lee and you?” Claudia asks and Jungkook nods, putting the pictures down.

“Are you dating ___?” she asks and he mumbles a yes, not understanding the point of all this.

“Break up” she says strictly and Jungkook looks at her with bafflement, expecting for her to explain.

“I just got done dealing with all sorts of articles pitting Phillip and you against each other, a sponsor almost pulled out after all that bad press we got after you almost fighting Phillip in front of camera’s. We’re exhausted with the gossip, so break up with ___” she explains standing up, ready to leave.

“Ferrari is willing to discuss the terms of your contract extension once this is done” those are the last things Claudia says before she leaves.

Jungkook and Namjoon have been sitting in silence for long enough for it to start feeling awkward.

“So, ferrari is threatening me to break up with ___?” Jungkook asks, still not done processing the earlier conversation.

“They wouldn’t have cared if you were dating anyone other than your team mates sister, why didn’t you tell me?” Namjoon asks, massaging his forehead.

“Why didn’t I tell you what? That I’m dating ___ or that I’m dating my team mates sister” Jungkook asks raising his voice a little.

“You know it’s the latter, if not you’d have told me. You knew this could’ve been an issue, that why you hid it from me Jungkook” Namjoon reasons, staying as calm as ever.

“I’m sorry but I’m not doing that” Jungkook protest, standing up.

“Let me give you a scenario, you don’t comply, ferrari doesn’t extend their contract with you so all of next year you’re treated as their number 2 driver who doesn’t win the championship, out of a contract, your relationship with ferrari absolutely ruined. A top team will be sceptical signing you, given how ferrari didn’t have confidence in you because of a two-year contract. You end up at a mid-field team, the car’s okay, but not world championship winning, you spend another two, maybe three years with them, again out of a contract. What is your next step? To be out of a seat again by 25 because you stood up to Ferrari?” Namjoon’s voice is a decibel louder than it usually is.

“You’re willing to throw it all away for love? For someone you’ve loved for less than a year? You’ve loved racing for 13 fucking years Jeon Jungkook!” Namjoon says standing up too, wanting Jungkook to understand this, loud and clear.

“Jungkook you’re young, ask her to wait a few years” Namjoon asks softly, noticing how red and watery Jungkook’s eyes are.

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other” Namjoon tries and comfort him with a soft pat on his arm.

Jungkook feels sick as he walks into his hotel room, you seem to have fallen asleep, the food you ordered for the two of you long cold. Just the image of you sleeping calmly in his bed is freaking him out, rushing to the restroom, he splashes his face, not knowing what to do next.

“Kook?” you call out for his name, him coming into the room having woke you up.

“Go back to sleep, I need a quick shower” Jungkook shouts from the restroom, not wanting to look you in the eyes right now.

Jungkook picks up your book and takes off your glasses as he gets back to bed, his hands softly caressing your face but he snaps himself out of it.

He’s wide awake as he slides in the bed, he keeps a respectful distance but you cease it all by cuddling into his chest.

“Did something come up?” you ask as your face presses into his naked chest.

“Kinda, did you have dinner?” Jungkook asks and you nod a yes.

“Did you?” you ask looking up as your eyes barely open.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Jungkook says and you force your eyes open, to get a good look at him.

“Do you want some water, medicine?” “I just need to sleep it off” Jungkook whispers as he nuzzles even closer. He can deal with his issues tomorrow, tonight he just wants to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2020

Jungkook: I got you a separate hotel room, I really need some time by myself and I don’t want us to fight about this Jungkook: Just get the key card from reception You: Why are you pushing me away? Jungkook: I’m not pushing you away, tomorrow is one of the most important race of my life. I don’t think I’m asking too much by wanting some time by myself You: You aren’t asking for too much, it’s just so unlike you and it worries me Jungkook: Well don’t, I’ll see you in the morning You: Call me if you can’t sleep Jungkook: Thanks

Jungkook feels sick to his stomach as he rereads the text exchange between the two of you. He hasn’t been able to breath properly since the comms meeting last weekend, it might have affected his qualifying today as he starts tomorrows race at P7, not at a winning position.

Jungkook knows what he has to do, he just can’t bring himself to do something he though he’d never have to do.

Like promised you do see him in the morning, more like late afternoon once he’d done training. One good look at him and you can see he’s not been sleeping well.

“Jungkook, you’re starting to scare me, what’s wrong?” you ask taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“Last week, Ferrari agreed to extend my contract” he prefaces with good news before he unleashes the ugly truth.

“Isn’t that good news” you ask as your hand comes up to caress his cheek, to your surprise he flinches because of your touch.

“They had some stipulation, well one to be exact” he whispers looking at his hands shamefully as you retract your hand. Jungkook’s trying his best to form the next sentence in his mind, wanting it to come across as gently as it can.

“Kook, whatever it is, it must be worth agreeing to. Driving for Ferrari has been your dream, just say yes” your soft voice triggers another set of tears in his eyes.

“Is it worth agreeing to if I lose you in the process?” he asks looking you in the eyes and watches as you bite your lip with confusion, wanting him to explain.

“They want me to break up with you, they don’t want me dating my teammate’s sister because they don’t want any more gossip or bad press and I wanted to scoff in their faces, I really did. But I-“ he’s at a loss of words when he notices the tears in your eyes too.

“­­___ I don’t want to do this, but I don’t want to throw my career away for love and later regret that” Jungkook pleads as you stand up to get away from him.

“Okay” you whisper, “Okay? You’re okay with this-“ “How the fuck can I be okay with this but it seems like you and I don’t have a say in this matter, DO WE?” you yell as your eyes turn red with anger.

“___, please-“ “Do I want you to fight them and keep dating me, yes. But between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having any say in it, and it’s painful and frustrates the life out of me, so please for the love you have for me, let me go” you can’t help but be rational about this, seeing him like this is making your heart hurt.

His eyes are fixed at you as he watches you, he wants you to fight for this relationship. “The idea of letting you go hurts too much ___” he says as he stands up too, taking small steps till he’s face to face with you.

No words could encompass every emotion you’re feeling, reaching onto him one last time, you bring his face closer to yours, his forehead touching yours.

“I love you” you whisper one last time and Jungkook ceases all the distance, his lips kissing you with desperation. You can taste the salty tears on his lips as you peck him one last time before pulling away.

The kisses turn into a tight hug and as each second passes, Jungkook knows he has a second less with you. He kisses the top of your head as your tears stain his polo. The moment is interpreted by loud knocks, followed by Namjoon’s voice.

“Jungkook, we’re ready to leave for the race” his manager announces and Jungkook sighs, pulling you even closer.

“Promise me something” you ask as you begrudgingly pull away. “Win the championship tonight” you ask and he sighs with defeat, he’s not in a headspace to driver, or even win.

“And remember, that’ll I’ll aways be cheering for you” you say as you leave a soft kiss on his cheek before you walk out that hotel room.

“Jungkook last two laps, you’ve .1 second away from Hamilton” the engineer announces over radio and Jungkook zooms through, fighting to overtake.

“And Jeon manoeuvres another overtake at turn 3, AND HE OVERTAKES THE MERCEDES” the crowd cheers as Jungkook zoom’s through entering the last lap. Usually when he’s inside the car, his mind is blank, only focus being driving. But tonight, as he zooms through, a montage of the last six months of his life is on replay once again.

“Jeon Jungkook you are the 2020 World Champion!!!” his engineer is practically yelling on radio as the montage starts to disappear in his mind.

His face is stained with tears as he gets rid of the balaclava, for a minute he’s overcome with joy as he team hugs with shouts and cheers. But it all starts to come crashing to him as he’s standing on the podium, looking around and not seeing your face in the crowd.

As he returns to the empty hotel room, Jungkook feels like the biggest loser. He reaches for the velvet diary you gifted him early this season. His finger traces the little note you left on the first page. Whether you win or lose, it’s going to be okay!

Phillip’s 30th Birthday (2022)

The Monaco breeze sends a chill down your spine as you take Christian’s hand as he guides you up the yacht. You watch as the water glimmers under the late evening sun, Christian’s hand still on the small of your back as you make small talk with some acquaintance.

“So, congratulations on the pregnancy” you whisper to Maya as she’s chokes on the tiramisu.

“How’d you kno- I’m not showing yet, am I? I haven’t told Phillip yet and it’s a big surprise for him, and shut up!” Maya is clearly a little panicked about the complete ordeal.

“Again, how did you know?” Maya asks as you pass her a wicked smile, sipping on your champagne.

“You weren’t drinking and I took a shot in the dark, oh my god you’re really pregnant” you’re starting to freak out just thinking about it, and your freaking out does not help Maya. The freaking out doesn’t last for too long as you see a familiar face walk across from you.

“So, I didn’t tell you Jungkook was invited because I didn’t want you to cancel” Maya says and you turn to give her a look of disappointment.

“You never told me why you guys broke up?” Maya asks as you watch as Jungkook looks over at your side and you dodge his eyes.

“We were just fighting a lot, and we knew I was going to be busy with university and wouldn’t be able to see him as often. Breaking up seemed like the natural thing” you lie through your teeth as you down another glass of champagne.

Before Maya can shoot another question towards you, you notice Christian go up to Jungkook and talk to him.

“Christian, I think I should introduce you to some of my cousins” you say desperately, trying to stop your ex and your present boyfriend from talking.

Jungkook holds your eyes for a little too long, you haven’t seen him in the eyes since that night in Abu Dhabi and it’s hard to look away.

“Of course, darling, we were just talking about the upcoming race in Monaco. I think we should attend it” Christian’s arm comes around your waist as he says that and Jungkook has to physically look away.

“I’d be great but I have midterms in a week” you answer noticing how familiar the sweater Jungkook is wearing, it’s the half zipper you helped him pick out.

“Midterms? What university did you get accepted into?” Jungkook asks and Christian answers before you can, “University of Oxford, we met on ___’s first day. She was late for her first lecture, I was rushing to submit an assignment. We collided into each other; her coffee ruined my project. To make up for it, she offered to buy me dinner and the rest is history” Christian says the last part as he turns to look at you lovingly, but there’s just a uncomfortable smile on your lips. Jungkook has a million questions to ask you, but seeing you with some other man is making him sick.

“Well good talking to you” Christian says cheerfully as you tug on his arm again.

“Likewise,” Jungkook says with a small voice, as he watches the two of you walk away.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

A rush of memories come back to yobtu as Maya and you walk into the Ferrari hospitality. You haven’t been on the paddock since Jungkook and you broke up, and you’re here today only because it’s Phillip’s final race. Maya had a tumultuous pregnancy, and after Phillip missed the birth of his son, it was decided, he was going to retire. He’d had a good ten years as a driver, now it was the time for him to be a father.

“Hey, I’m going to go look for Phillip” Maya says as she walks off with baby Aiden. You are a little fidgety as you take a seat, not wanting to see Jungkook but at the same time also wanting to see him.

To your surprise, Jungkook walks in, hand in hand with Ava, his girlfriend now for a year. Ava and him met during an Armani photoshoot, the two of them hit it off right away.

Jungkook keeps her at an arm’s length as he goes around talking to a few people, you keep eyes on them like a creepy ex-girlfriend, wondering if this is what he’d been like you with publicly.

It's when Jungkook’s hand goes up to massage his neck that you notice the shining silver chain around his neck, why would he keep it after all these years? Or more importantly, why would he wear it after all these years?

The after party is a little out of control, the ferrari people are celebrating two things, Phillip retiring and Jungkook winning the championship for the third time.

“So, you’re graduating this spring?” A random dude in the club asks as he leans even closer to you.

“Yeah, with a degree in education” you say as your eyes wander around the club for a familiar place, you spot Jungkook by the bar.

He’s not by himself, he whisper’s something in Ava’s ear and she turn around to punch him on his shoulder and lean in for a kiss. That sight is enough for you to be done with this night, making your way out the crowd is difficult but you manage it somehow. You’re almost out the club when someone tug’s on your wrist.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asks but doesn’t wait for your response as he’s pulling you someplace quiet.

“Congratulations” you mutter and he smiles dropping your wrist. Jungkook changed so much over the last four years, his hair is longer, his face seems mature, his left forearm is full of tattoos, he looks like a champion in his fancy clothes.

“Where’s Christian?” Jungkook asks the question that he’s been waiting to ask since he spotted you in the ferrari garage earlier today.

“He proposed so I cheated on him, because I was too much of a coward to break up with him. I was an ugly, messy end” you don’t have any filter as you talk to him, maybe it’s the vodka you chugged earlier today. His lips are agape with bafflement as he stares at you, not knowing what to say.

“Just tell me it’s going to be fine” you say with a teasing smile, repeating something you said to him years ago.

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine” Jungkook mutters with a wide smile, thinking back to 20 year old you, because 24 year old you is so different it’s hard to recognise.

You keep your naturally long hair in a bob now, so many piercings along your right ear, you dress in mostly darker colours now instead of the pastels you favoured earlier.

“Seriously, I’m so happy for you. Three championships you wouldn’t have won if you didn’t break up with me, two actually” you try and joke but your tone is a little too serious.

“Don’t say that” he whispers looking down at your hands and noticing the missing golden ring.

“It’s the bitter truth tho, how are you and Ava? You guys in love?” you ask bitterly, taking a step away from him.

“___, don’t make me feel guilty about moving on-“ “I’m not trying to, I’m just frustrated that you can move on as if we never happened and I’m still stuck feeling broken because I can’t get over you!” you shout as the tears start to well up in your eyes again.

Jungkook wants to reach out, pull you into a tight hug, whisper how everything is going to be fine, but he doesn’t. He has Ava now, and reaching out to you like this would just give you false hope. Instead, he watches as you walk away again.

Spring 2025, Phillip and Maya’s wedding

“You guys were supposed to sleep apart the night before the wedding!” you bark as the couple as you break into their hotel room.

The couple just groans as they barely life of the bed, you’re just thankful none of them is naked.

“I snuck in because Maya was freaking out about getting married” Phillip whispers as he’s clearly hungover.

“You’ve been dating for over seven years, have a four year child, how the fuck are you nervous about getting married?” you shout and Maya springs up in bed, “Oh my god! Where’s Aiden?”

“He’s with your parents, seriously how much did you guys drink-oh my god five bottles of wine!” you shout some more as you spot the bottles by the bed.

This immediately triggers Maya’s tears, she’s clearly very hungover too.

“I’m going to be hungover on my wedding day” Maya cries and Phillip turns to glare at you, like her being hungover is your doing and not his.

“I’m going to get you a smoothie that’ll either fix your hungover or make you throw up and not be sick anymore. Phillip, get out, the makeup and hair people are going to be here soon, and please for the love for your son, no more crying till the wedding. Got it?” you ask with a stern voice and the couple nods with uncertainty.

You thought you had delt with the last of today’s problem but there’s a nth knock on your hotel room.

“Who’s it?” you shout struggling with the zipper of your dress, another thing to add to your drawbacks of being single.

“Jungkook” he says as he nervously ruffles his hair again, had he been looking forward to seeing you all weekend? Yes. Does the idea of seeing you make him incredibly nervous? Also, yes.

You swing the door open with confusion and are met with Jungkook holding up a tie he’s obviously been struggling with.

“You’re the only person I could think of to ask for help” he says and you smile and nod letting him in, weirdly enough you back into the room with your front facing him.

“I thought you were bringing Ava?” you ask leaning against the door, taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Ava and I broke up, long long time ago, a year ago” Jungkook says as he stands by the bed, watching as you stay fixed by the door.

You whisper a ‘oh’ as you walk towards him. Jungkook can’t believes he’s in an another hotel room with you, he had convinced himself this was never going to happen again.

“I can help you with your tie only after you zip up my dress,” you say turning around and exposing your bareback to him.

Jungkook’s dazed for a second but he snaps himself out of it as you take all your hair towards the side. The movement earns a surprised gasp from Jungkook.

“You got a tattoo?” he says and finger has a mind of his own as it traces your soft skin, making you flinch under his touch.

“You got a hand flipping of on your lower neck?” he asks with amusement as he zips up your dress quickly.

“I was so drunk and I thought it would be a great idea to get this, so that I was flipping off everyone behind me. How’d they allow people so drunk they need subtitles to understand get a tattoo is beyond me” you grumble about that stupid night is college again, no matter how fun it was, it was stupid.

“A stupid but kinda cute tattoo is part of the college experience ___, I’m just glad you weren’t holed up in your apartment every night, crying while reading a book” he teases and you snatch the tie away from him.

“You only walked in on me sobbing while reading a book once-“ “Twice actually” he corrects you as you move closer to raise his collars, bantering just like in the past.

A quietness blankets the room again as you hand sternly tie the tie around his neck. Jungkook’s looking away, this proximity feels like too much. “About the last time we talked-“ Jungkook’s interrupted by more rapid knocking on your door.

“Phillip is missing, I can’t find Phillip, oh my god he ran away!” you recognise the voice that belongs to one of Phillip’s groomsmen.

“I, um, have to take care of that” you whisper looking in Jungkook’s eyes as you take a step away from him.

“Of course,” he says tightening the tie and fixing his jacket.

“Phillip’s not missing, you check with Maya’s parents because he might probably be with Aiden. I’ll go and kick his ass if he’s getting Maya drunk again” you spring into action mode, somehow running in 4-inch heels.

You’re thankful about the waterproof mascara as Phillip and Maya exchange their vows. It was a beautiful ceremony, the sun was setting as they walked off as husband and wife. As the night gets darker people start to get more liquored up. Walking up to the couple, you pull the two of them in a tight hug, “I can’t believe you stupid idiots are married!”

“Can you not call us stupid on out wedding day?” Phillip grumbles and you chuckle sarcastically.

“Sure, I can’t believe you morons are married” “Talking of morons, have you talked to Jungkook yet” Maya says and you grumble snatching her drink.

“I can’t believe you told him” you say giving Maya a pointed look.

“Husbands and wives aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other” Phillip announces, a little too happy about this.

“Maybe we should tell Phillip about the time you stuffed ones into a very chiselled man’s-“ “Why are you going around ruining people’s relationships because your love life is miserable” Maya raises her voice just a little as she shuts you up, gathering attention from a few people around.

“Hey, my love life isn’t miserable I’m dating myself, oh who am I kidding. I haven’t been on a date in three months” you grumble snatching Phillip’s drink too and he just look at you with concern.

“Maybe you should go talk to him, and stop stealing people’s drinks” Phillip says as he pulls Maya along with him. Turning to face the rest on the party, you spot Jungkook talking to a woman on his table.

Jungkook finally gets rid of the woman who’s been eating his ear off for most of the reception, maybe his mother is right, he’s too polite. Jungkook scans the room for you, and not to his surprise you’ve escaped the party. But it doesn’t take him too long to find you, Jungkook spots you on the other side of the lawn, sitting on a park bench.

Knowing you startle easy, he clears his throat to let you know of his presence. You give him a shy smile as you watch him walk up to you.

“Can I have a dance?” he asks as he offers you a hand. You had almost forgotten the feeling on his warm rough hands against yours and you take his offer. The band switches to a soft romantic song right on que, like it fated to be, or more like Jungkook slipped them some money to do that.

The two of you savour the moment, a rare sweet moment. Your cheek rests against his chest while his arm snakes around your waist as you sway together. He gets a hit of your perfume and it’s the same soft, vanilla sent and it’s making him lose his train of thoughts.

“You were wrong” he mutters, gaining some courage to talk to you.

“Wrong about what?” you ask, moving your head to look up at him.

“Ava and I weren’t in love, she or any other woman was a mere distraction to not keep reminding me of you shaped hole in my heart” he whispers as he watches your chest heave.

“I have an arm full of tattoos because ever few months I’d delude myself into thinking I’m over you, get a tattoo to symbolise it and then a week later be back to zero” Jungkook says this for the first time out loud. The look on your face is unreadable, maybe he’s lost his chance with you.

Jungkook drops his arm from around you and takes a step back, wanting to respect you.

“I’m sorry for bringing up old wounds, when it comes to you I always manage to do the wrong this” Jungkook can already feel a migraine coming as he thinks of all the overthinking he’s going to be doing. This finally evokes an emotion in you, a frown but still an emotion.

“You didn’t do something wrong when you broke up with me Jungkook, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You were put in a corner, and that was the only solution to the problem” you say as your hands come up to cradle his face.

“Sure, I was irrationally angry with you for a while, but then I’d see you win during a race and feel like maybe the pain was worth it” you say with a twinkle in your eyes and Jungkook chuckles looking down.

“And you kept winning, I have some suspicion that Phillip partly retired because he was sick of you and the South Korean national anthem after most races” you say in attempts to ease the tense moment and this does make him smile.

“I had my suspicions about that too, but I didn’t bring it up because I’m sure Phillip would’ve punched me” Jungkook says snaking his arms back around you.

“That was smart of you, Phillip would have punched you square in your pretty face” you say as you lean your cheek back against his chest.

“Pretty still? I think it’s more ruggedly handsome face now” he whines as the two of you start swaying again.

“Sure, Phillip would’ve punched your ruggedly handsome face” you give up and hear another round of chuckles from his side.

“I missed you” you say as you bring your arms around him, and just like that the twinkling is back to his eyes, maybe he still is pretty face.

“I love you, I mean I missed you, FUCK!” Jungkook shuts his eyes, the migraine is starting to assault his senses but the rapidly blinks his eyes when he hears your boisterous laughter.

“Is my misery funny to you Ms Lee?” he asks pulling you closer and you just nod, mouthing a very.

“If you were any other man who’d said what you just did, I’d be running out of here. But lucky for you, I never stopped loving you” you say as you lean in for a kiss, and with just one singular kiss it feels like the last few painful years never happened.

taglist:

@blancflms @nadzzzblog @kookiewhtaee @jksoftiitii @oiseul @elisaaru @coralmusicblaze @tearyjjeonn @moonchild1 @jungkooksseuphoria @cookysstuff

[notwiredforthisworld]

Somewhere in 2012, a friend introduced me to a boyband she liked. I had no idea who they were. I hadn’t even turned 10 then, and I didn’t have social media. She played me a few songs, and I remember not getting it at first, and telling her that I didn’t like it. I loved music, but I never really cared too much about getting to know artists, so her obsession didn’t really make sense to me. But for some reason, when I got home that day I searched ‘One Direction’ on youtube. I watched music videos, interviews, fan compilations. I fell down a rabbit hole of fanmade lyric videos until I knew every single word to every single song, in a language that wasn’t even mine. I still say that I learned more english from one direction interviews than I ever did in school. I’m not sure where or why the obsession started. Maybe I just wanted to fit in, to like the thing that all of my friends liked. But somewhere along the line, it became so much more than that. It was their music, playing on a loop in my headphones, that helped me drown out everything wrong around me. One Direction was the reason I fell in love with music, the reason I joined social media, the first fandom I was in. It was the reason there were even others, the reason I met so many people. My best friends.

When One Direction announced a show in my country, in 2014, my friend went to see it, even though it was halfway across the country. I was 12 at the time, and I begged my parents to go. They said no. Their excuse was that I was too young, and neither of them understood a teenage girl’s obsession with a boyband, and if I’m honest with myself, I can now understand they probably couldn’t afford it. So they said no. And they promised me that next time I could go. A year later, I was leaving a music class with that same friend when one direction posted a statement about Zayn leaving. I cried the whole way home. I think that was my first heartbreak. The year after, they split up, even if 13 year old me would yell at everyone who dared mention it that it was a break, not a break up. I changed schools that year. I lost touch with that friend. A lot of things changed, but my playlist didn’t. It never did. 15 year old me started high school in a new place, listening to that same band, with the same posters hanging on the back of my door, just as excited for solo releases as I had been for one direction.

In 2019, when Harry announced a show in my country, that friend was the first person I called. The show was postponed, due to covid, but I remember 17 year old held on to those things like her life depended on it. I think in a way, it did. During lockdown, I got closer to the fandom than I had been in years. I was straight out of high school, I was lonely, and lost, and 18 year old me found in old videos and online communities the same sense of belonging she had found at 10. In 2022, me and my friend saw Harry together. I think a part of my teenage self was healed that day. So the year after, when Louis announced a show in the same place, 20 year old me skipped a uni class to buy tickets. It was the first concert I went to alone, and I sat on the floor of an arena during my favorite song, crying in the arms of a girl I never saw again. I hope she’s okay. That’s still one of my favorite moments. In 2023, Niall announced a tour without a stop in my country. 21 year old me drained her savings to fly to Ireland and see him there. When my mom argued, I told her she didn’t get to complain, because she hadn’t let me go to a show when they were still together, and if there would never be a next time, I would have to see all of them. Whatever it took. Until there was a next time. As I write this, the fact that there will actually never be a next time is hitting me like a brick.

Out of all of them, I probably resonated with Liam’s music the least. Right now, it’s bittersweet to realize I fell out of it, because of that and because of everything that came out after. Right now, 10 year old me is grieving. But so is 12 year old me, waiting up for music video releases. So is 15 year old me, going to high school with four playing on her headphones. So is 18 year old me, watching x factor videos when she got sad during lockdown. So is 22 year old me, coming to terms with the fact that one of the people she looked up to the most is… maybe not that good of a person.

One Direction has been a part of my life for longer that they haven’t been. I don’t remember a single moment, a single age, a single milestone, that they weren’t a part of, in some way.

So right now, I’m thinking of Liam’s family, of his friends, of his child. And I’m thinking of the boys, now men, that changed my life so profoundly, without ever knowing who I was. And on another note, I’m also thinking of Maya, and the women who came forward, and who will definitely feel the weight of this, even if they shouldn’t, even if it��s not on them, because that’s the way the internet works. I know that, because one direction is why I joined it in the first place. And it changed my life. To a degree, it changed my entire view of the world.

It’s a conflicting feeling. Grief usually is. But this type of grief… there’s no guidebook. How do you grieve someone who was never actually in your life? How do you grieve a face on a screen? A voice on a track? And specially, how do you do so while knowing so many things that you just can’t accept? Can’t support? That go against everything that is your beliefs? It hurts. It hurts that he’ll never get the help he so clearly needed. It hurts that the people who have always brought me the most comfort got their hearts broken in a way that was so drastic, so painful, so definitive. It hurts that it’s so definitive. So final. I think that’s the worst part. The little tiny part of me that has spent the last almost 10 years trying to believe it wasn’t final… just got told that it is. And it hurts that it feels like it’s not acceptable to be hurting like this.

I used to think about growing old one day, being in my 50s or 60s and having to read news like this one. But we were supposed to be old. We were supposed to have time. I wasn’t supposed to be 22, grabbing my phone to a text from my friend asking if I’d heard. If I was okay. I’m not.

I can’t listen to One Direction right now. But I hope 10 year old me can still turn the volume up when her parents are fighting in the next room. I hope 13 year old me can scream the lyrics to midnight memories at her friends’ houses. I hope 16 year old me can curl up in bed listening to made in the am everytime she needs someone to be there for her, like she always did. I hope 18 year old me, starting college alone in the middle of the pandemic, can rewatch San Siro and quote every line and find comfort in the nostalgia. I hope 20 year old me is screaming along at all the solo concerts. You’ll never see the 5 of them. I’m sorry.

In the end, my heart is with everyone who personally knew and loved Liam. And then it’s with us. The ones who grew up with him. The ones who found a sense of belonging in playlists, and stan accounts, and fanfics, and concerts. Because we’ll never get a next time. The boys will never get a next time. And I’m not really sure how to handle that thought, because there was supposed to be time, for all of us.

We were supposed to have a next time. Liam deserved a next time.

There was a whole lot of history there, after all.

[cadaverre]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ the swords are drawn, they really are

JUNO ☆ they/them (i dont mind she/her) ☆ minor (xv) ☆ bisexual ☆ cancer sun, libra moon, sag rising ☆ intp-t ☆ aus ☆ either a celestial god or a pebble ☆ anxious mess ☆ i change my theme way too much ☆ sparkling water > regular water ☆ in love with piercings and wants all of them ☆ professional procrastinator ☆ a humanities/arts/music girl in a science/maths world ☆ dont know much abt society but i know i hate capitalism ☆ wouldnt survive a day without spotify ☆ free palestine!! ☆

LOVES ⭑.ᐟ - literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy + astrology, witchcraft, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), cold drinks, miniskirts, doc martens, dark red, nail polish, mascara, lipgloss, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house, spring+winter, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, going to concerts, psychology, web weaving, learning languages (currently learning spanish and i want to learn latin!)

BOOKS ⭑.ᐟ - osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles, wings of fire, the secret history, crime and punishment

MOVIES + SHOWS ⭑.ᐟ - juno, dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off + scott pilgrim vs the world, mean girls (i love both hehe), dr who, percy jackson (the show, i um havent read the books), gossip girls, do revenge, my little pony, the bear, hannibal, we are lady parts, bottoms

MUSIC ⭑.ᐟ - boygenius + solos, taylor swift, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrianne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones, maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy, the smiths, american football, susannah joffe, renee rapp, mcr, the front bottoms, pierce the veil, gracie abrams, feeble little horse, esha tewari, radiohead, chappell roan, charli xcx

ALBUMS ⭑.ᐟ - the record, 1989 tv, around the fur, riot, three cheers for sweet revenge, all we know is falling, hypochondriac, girl with fish, doa, things with wings, punk2, songs, masterpiece, guts, lust for life, dykttatuob, punisher, stranger in the alps, i care so much that i dont care at all, collide with the sky, manic, badlands, folklore, trafoamp, k-12, crybaby, portals, this is why, ttpd + the anthology, hit me hard and soft, the bends, brat, the secret of us, home video

TALK TO ME ⭑.ᐟ - asks and dms are open for chatting/venting/whatever, i might take a while to respond ☆ i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive bio (with name, age group and pronouns especially) ☆ discord is astraeasparrow ☆ i dont currently have any trigger warnings tagged but just send me an ask/dm if you want me to tag something specific!! ☆dni: people who are: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic

TAGS ⭑.ᐟ

#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts

#asks -> asks ive answered

#ask bait -> send me asks!

#tag games -> tag games ive participated in

#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals !

#spotify -> my music obsession

#junocore -> posts that are so incredibly mecore

#🩻 -> posts abt/for my fav

(im working on a better taglist with my moots tags)

SOCIALS ⭑.ᐟ pinterest ☆spotify ☆ carrd ☆ pronoun page ☆ letterboxd ☆ stats.fm

SIDEBLOGS ⭑.ᐟ @likeasugarcubeinateacup (notes app poetry) -- @sirenliight (short poetry + aesthetics) -- a close friends blog (you can ask for the url, i might say no) (im not that active on them though)

NOTES/UPDATES ⭑.ᐟ

☆ prev urls — astraeasparrow -> gu1lty-as-sin -> glcive

☆ last updated: july 10th 2024

☆ dividers by @plutism

thats all!! stay hydrated and have a wonderful day/night everyone <3

[scarletcomalies]

bigger than the whole sky

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word count: 5,438

Warnings: Angst, unspecified legal age gap. This is pretty much about Natasha being mourned over and remembered as she deserves. What better day to post than on her birthday?

On December 3rd, you recalled all the wonderful memories you had created with your partner.

June 18th, 2019

Half of humanity was gone.

Each day, you woke up to a world where the sun shone as brightly as ever, permitting the shadow of loss to darken every corner of the souls of the survivors of the Thanos blip. The familiar warmth faded, replaced by only a deep melancholy at the memory of what everyday life used to be. In the blink of an eye, your loved ones vanished, leaving you with the agony of their absence.

You were lost and desolate. You longed deeply to experience just a glimpse of everything you once took for granted, like calling your mother after a long day, hearing the murmurs of people at the coffee shop, or receiving a funny video from your best friend. Just something...

But nothing.

Word of mouth, you heard about a support group that Steve Rogers was leading. The world had become so vast, that breathing the same air as Captain America, with the Black Widow at your side, was no longer an unthinkable madness that would happen only in the most delusional mind. It was a reality.

There you were, realizing that you also had something in common with heroes of international stature. When they weren't all over the news, fighting right-handed in their intimidating suits, they were simply human beings who also wanted to be heard from time to time. They too had a right to break down.

"I..." you looked up, once it was your turn to speak. All eyes were looking at you expectantly, and Natasha Romanoff's eyes on you made your task more difficult. "Well, the barista at the coffee shop I go to informed me about this, uhm.... I'm (Y/N)."

"Hi, (Y/N)," those present responded in unison. The raspy voice of the woman next to you somehow resonated more in your ears than any other. What a woman. Not for nothing had you become interested in the news, only to see her fight so bravely. You always considered her a beautiful woman, and above all, a powerful one.

The only three friends you had always teased you about your crush on the Black Widow. And this alone made you feel worse. They would have loved to see you all flushed and nervous like you were at that moment.

"I remember hating crowds. People rushing around at all hours, often pushing and shoving," you began, looking down at the ground as you fiddled with your hands. "I hated the voices. Sometimes it was so loud that, between them all, they sounded like a swarm of angry bees," some had the strength to only half-smile at your silly analogy, others were unfazed.

Natasha's resilience turned out to be greater than you imagined, she demonstrated it on multiple occasions, but you experienced it live and in full color when she specifically let out a distinguished laugh. It echoed throughout the room, you could hear it loud and clear.

"I know, it was annoying." you said softly, directing your first words specifically towards the redhead, who by the way had a bit of blonde on the ends of her hair, indicating that the dye was fading. It looked beautiful on her. "Anyway," you redirected your attention to the others again. "I know a lot of people here hated that noise. We'd put on headphones so we didn't have to listen to anyone," you continued, and earned a nod of agreement from everyone present. "Well, now, I put my headphones on and play audio of people talking. I never thought I'd miss this, or that I'd miss being constantly pushed around, the voice of an annoying customer I have to deal with at work. Besides, everything is slowing down, nobody lives in a hurry anymore, and... well, I think you understand," you let out a nervous chuckle. You had no intention of rambling on too much about it, or you were never going to stop.

"Thanks for sharing," Steve said, giving you a small smile, that smile where he pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows.

Once the meeting was over, you let out a small sigh, grabbed your stuff and headed for the exit.

A voice stopped you as you stood on the other side of the door, causing you to turn and meet again those green eyes that looked so much more beautiful in person. Neither magazine pictures nor news cameras could capture that wonderful pair.

"I just wanted to ask you, if it's not too invasive," she spoke, as soon as you turned around. "Do you have anyone to talk to? Outside of this group, I mean."

"Anyone close? No," you answered honestly. It was the truth. Being highly selective had its consequences, as you were unlucky enough to lose your very few close loved ones; your three best friends, your mother, your aunt and your grandfather. Some family members, previous friends and even exes with whom you cut ties tried to reconnect, but the phrase 'better alone than in bad company' never applied better than in this case. "But if you're talking in general terms, even the person in line at the supermarket can be your confidant and support. You can imagine what it's like."

"I know," she agreed, and thought for a moment before adding, "In supermarkets, products expire before anyone buys them, but it's a good thing, it's an excuse to buy more snacks so they don't go to waste."

You let out a laugh. A full, genuine laugh, and wow... it was the first time in the last year that someone had made you laugh like that. It was a silly joke, yes, but in the midst of so much monotony, the spontaneity was a gift she gave you.

December 3rd, 2023

"You were in fact the only person who made me laugh," you barely managed to formulate the last words before you burst into tears for the fifth time.

Natasha would be turning 39. You both knew that aging was anything but a bad thing, yet she enjoyed ironically saying that she was getting old, even if it was far from the truth. She had no childhood, no adolescence. The concept of old age seemed the most comforting to her.

You forced yourself to take a deep breath, and to swallow your tears. You were talking to a piece of marble with her name carved on it, and you knew that meters underneath there wasn't even a body to mourn over, but you had to let it all out one way or another.

"Happy 39th birthday, my love," you whispered, smiling faintly. "I guess your wish came true. You stayed 38 forever."

December 3rd, 2020

"Oh, my wish is to stay 36 forever!" Natasha exclaimed, with a broad smile, and then blew out the candles on the mini cake you had bought her.

You laughed along with her.

Laughing seemed impossible until she showed up a year and a half ago in your life at that support group. Now laughing seemed as easy as breathing.

You wondered if, somehow, you would have met Natasha. She was a very famous woman, unattainable to everyone including you. The possibility of having lived a life without her terrified you, so much so that it was the first time you were actually grateful that the blip had happened, because it made it possible for her to be sitting on the couch next to you, spending her birthday morning with you after making her her favorite breakfast.

"Oh, come on, Nat," you laughed, as you placed the cake on the coffee table, and started pouring the wine. "You age like this fine wine. I imagine how divine you'll look in your 40s, in your 50s... don't take that away from me," you spoke seriously, as if the candles really did have the power to fulfill her wishes.

She laughed loudly, and took the glass of wine you gave her, "38 is the most I'm willing to age. It is my final offer."

You rolled your eyes playfully, and raised your glass, "Very well. To your penultimate year of aging. Cheers!"

The rest of the morning, and part of the afternoon was spent lazying on the couch, marathoning romantic comedies from the 90s and early 2000s.

Until the clock struck 5:00 p.m., it was one hour before Natasha's adoptive parents arrived, and the nervousness was starting to hit you.

"My love, it's time to get off the couch and get ready," you spoke, pausing the Julia Roberts movie 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

"Ughhhh!" She protested, covering herself up to her head with the blanket resting on top of you both. Said blanket was perhaps twice the size of the two of you, and perhaps three times as heavy. It was the best weapon against the December cold.

"Nat, I don't want your parents to find us in penguin pajamas and ugly sweaters," you laughed, shaking her gently. "I want to make a good first impression. Come on!"

"You're overthinking," she replied, resting her head in your lap, under the blanket. "They won't mind your outfit, and believe me, they'll love you."

You sighed lightly.

"I hope so," you replied, scratching her hair with your fingertips. "I'm much younger than you, and I don't want them to think I'm immature, or..."

"Alexei still insists on wearing his superhero costume, even though it looks tiny on him," Natasha interrupted you, before your head wandered. "Maturity is something that doesn't exist in my family, you take it easy."

You laughed a little, and that little anecdote was enough to give you significant relief. If Natasha said you'd be fine, then it was true.

The redhead was somewhat reserved when it came to her family.

You understood that she wanted to be sure that it was going to be something long and meaningful before she let you into that sacred side of her life, so it wasn't a year and a half after you met her that you finally would get to know the famous Melina and Alexei. You felt more than privileged to know that your relationship with her had already reached that point.

She also always mentioned her little sister Yelena, whom she had lost to the blip. You wished you could have met that other brave soul who destroyed Dreykov and his entire twisted organization, saving thousands of girls and women around the world.

"Well..." she said, suddenly getting up from your lap, as she pulled back the blanket. Afterwards, she planted a quick kiss on your lips. "I need a few minutes to mentally prepare myself and get out of here. Get in the shower and then I'll join you."

Within forty-five minutes, both of you were fully dressed and ready to welcome Melina and Alexei to Natasha's apartment.

The table was set with a white tablecloth, four plates with their respective cutlery and glasses. In the middle was the previously started wine and a bottle of soda that was a little wet, as it had just been taken out of the fridge five minutes before. The older woman's parents would bring takeout dinner and cake, so the table was ready just to serve the food and eat.

Punctually, at 6:00 p.m., you heard the doorbell ring.

You took a deep breath, and together with Natasha, you headed for the door.

Naturally, she was the first to greet them and pull them into a heartwarming embrace, which was somewhat clumsy because it was obstaclized by the bags of food in Melina's hands and the box of cake in Alexei's right arm. You stood there, watching the scene feeling both tenderness and nervousness, because your girlfriend's parents were finally standing in front of you.

The redhead took the cake and a bag of food, and with her head pointed in your direction, "This is (Y/N), (Y/N), this is Melina and Alexei."

With a gentle smile, you waved at them, "It's very nice to meet you, Miss Vostokoff, and Mister Shostakov."

"Oh, let's drop the formalities, c'mere!" Alexei exclaimed, and held out his arms to wrap you in a tight embrace.

You let out a giggle, and accepted his offer. He squeezed you and you let out a playful groan of complaint. Melina, laughing as you did, hugged you once the man released you, however, she was gentler and briefer, concluding it with a rub on your back.

"Please call us by our names," she spoke. "Natasha has talked so much about you that you're not even a stranger. So we don't want to be strangers to you either."

You looked at Natasha, and she smiled broadly, having also enjoyed the scene at your first meeting with her parents.

"Very well," you chuckled. "Please, let me help you with this," you offered, pointing to the single bag she was carrying.

"Oh, thank you," she agreed, passing you the bag.

You and Natasha placed the two bags on the table, and the cake on the kitchen counter.

"Beer?" Natasha offered to Alexei.

"Oh, please!" he exclaimed, sitting down on one of the chairs next to Melina. Across from both of them, Natasha and you would sit.

You heard the sound of two bottles being uncorked, and Natasha was the last to join the table, handing one bottle to Alexei and both of them toasting and then taking a big sip.

The dinner went wonderfully.

Natasha was right, her parents were easy-going and funny, each in their own way. Alexei always had a joke on the tip of his tongue, and Melina, though calmer than him, laughed lightly and added to the joke just to make you all laugh. At the end of the evening, when they bid their fond farewells, you completely forgot how nervous you felt a few hours earlier. They were enchanted with you and the feeling was mutual.

A small meow was heard about a minute after Natasha's parents left, and she stepped forward, opening the window to reveal the black cat sitting on the stairs. Liho always wandered around her building, but Natasha's floor was her favorite due to the redhead always giving her food and treats. She was a very easy cat to love, and it didn't take long for her to grow on Natasha, so she was unofficially adopted by her.

"Sorry, Liho," she said, caressing behind her ears. "You were late. There will be no food for the unpunctual."

"Hey, don't be mean," you teased, reaching up to stroke the cat's cheek. She happily bowed her head, receiving your affection.

"I'm kidding," she let out a giggle, and headed for the kitchen. From there, she pulled out one of the cans of cat tuna she always bought for the feline. Once she placed it in a plate on the floor, the cat ran in her direction and didn't hesitate to devour the dish, making you both laugh. "Oh, thank you so much for coming to visit me for my birthday, little one. You're adorable."

You walked in Natasha's direction, and wrapped your arms around her waist. One thing you loved about her was that, no matter by what kind of physical contact you manifested your love for her, the older woman always seemed to melt at your touch.

"Stay another night," she whispered, entwining your hands in hers and then kissing them.

It was the fifth night in a row she had said that to you. No problem, though, it wasn't the first time it had happened, so you prepared yourself beforehand and packed more clothes to stay with her as long as you both wanted.

"Yes, I have another change of clothes..." you replied. "I think at this point, I'll have more clothes here than at home."

She turned to meet your gaze, and glanced at your lips briefly to lean in and kiss you gently. You, likewise, melted at any action of your girlfriend, and the taste of her lips never failed to delight you immensely.

"Move in with me," she was quick to say, resting her forehead against yours. "Let's find a nice house, let's officially adopt Liho, hell, let's adopt a kid when we're ready. I want everything with you."

December 3rd, 2023

"Did you enjoy your time with Grandma Melina?" You asked the little girl walking beside you in the direction of the car.

"Very much! She taught me some fighting techniques, and then we tried them on Grandpa Alexei," she replied, and you laughed at her statement. "He went down like a sack of potatoes."

Alissa Grace Romanoff.

A girl you and Natasha adopted when she was four years old. Now, at six, you were increasingly amazed at how smart, strong and determined she was, showing an interest in being like her mother but also possessing an artistic sensitive side.

"Did you leave my drawing with mom?" She asked, once you placed her in the back seat of the car and buckled her in.

The little girl remembered Natasha fondly, and longed for her with all her heart. Fortunately, she was at an age where she was more likely to remember more, and you would keep her memory alive in her mind.

You and Natasha worked hard to give her the best memories, so that her childhood was something she looked back on with fondness and happiness, unlike your girlfriend, who couldn't do the same and always avoided to think in the slighest about the matter.

"Of course I did, I left her your drawing and the beautiful flowers you suggested," you confirmed, kissing her small forehead and then heading to the driver's seat.

You needed some time alone in the cemetery every time you visited your girlfriend, even more so on this day. On the one visit where you took your daughter, you broke down to such an extent that she ended up crying a lot more than she initially was.

Knowing that holding back wasn't the best way to go, you preferred to go alone and vent properly. It hadn't even been two months since October 16th, so there were still times when you cried to the point where you couldn't get up from the floor. And when you finally did, your eyes were so swollen that you had to go home and wash your face so that they would look better so as not to worry the little girl.

Melina and Alexei insisted that you visit Natasha first, and as always, they were more than happy to spend time with their granddaughter. Since you got up early, knowing that you would take your sweet time, you returned early as well, so that they would also have their space on this day to visit their beloved daughter.

The day passed quietly.

You bought some lunch, and both of you ate while watching 'Tangled' for the thousandth time, but this movie ended up being background noise, as your daughter continued to tell you about how Merlina did her combat technique demonstrations and Alexei was the 'brave volunteer' who would attack her, even if he wasn't volunteering or brave at all.

At 5 p.m., you sat next to Alissa at the coffee table in the living room, and opened her maths book. She had an assignment to complete a page of two-digit addition problems, and although it was due on Friday, she was always allowed to do it on Sunday afternoons.

You preferred her to do it as soon as possible so she could spent the whole weekend freely with no pending homework, but well, the habit of leaving it until last minute stuck with you because Natasha was a little bit of a softie.

October 30th, 2022

You heard the loud sound of falling metal, causing you to startle and wake up in alarm.

Natasha was not in your bed, and that increased your concern. Maybe it was a thief, a spy, an enemy of Natasha's who broke into the house...

But when you ran to see the source of the sound, you found Natasha in the kitchen, and Alissa sitting at the counter. They both looked in your direction, and smiled innocently.

"We didn't mean to wake you, detka," Natasha spoke, and you noticed the silver bowl in the dishwasher, the one that previously fell and woke you up, nearly giving you a heart attack.

"Oh, what's wrong?" You asked, your eyes half open. The clock on the microwave read one in the morning.

"I went to get a glass of water, and mom was reading in the living room," Alissa explained. "I couldn't sleep, and neither could she."

"So we made Halloween-themed cupcakes," Natasha concluded, pointing with her head towards the oven, whose dim light gave you a view of the cupcakes baking inside it.

You laughed at Natasha's solution, and were deeply touched as well. Any other parent would have made their kid a glass of milk, read a story, or accompanied their child until they fell back asleep, but your girlfriend decided to keep her awake and make Halloween cupcakes.

"I suppose you'll write a note saying that Alissa won't be going to school," you deduced, knowing the redhead very well.

She nodded.

Your daughter didn't even have to pretend to be sick to miss school, she just had to say she didn't want to go and Natasha would melt at her puppy eyes and let her stay home. As much as you hated to be the boring one, you had to set certain boundaries, however, your efficient communication with both of them always led to an agreement without making you look like the bad one. So, if Alissa went to school, on the way home you would stop for ice cream or go to the park.

But of course, this was an occasion where there was no choice but to agree to skip school, otherwise Alissa would be sleepy all day.

"All right, let's start working on the toppings, shall we?" You said with a wide smile.

December 3rd, 2023

"These crayons that Aunt Yelena gave me have very good pigmentation," Alissa commented, as she ran the brownish-red crayon over the white sheet of paper.

You laughed at the use of words. Somehow, she always managed to learn new words and use them appropriately. Little things you noticed and loved about your daughter.

"Oh, the 500 color box she brought from her last mission's trip? What are you drawing?" You asked, looking up from your book to pay attention to her. However, she was quick to cover her work with her arms.

"You can see when I'm done," she established.

Whenever she did the tedious math homework, Alissa redirected her attention to her drawings. She always knew that after working hard, she deserved to do something she enjoyed afterwards. No one told her, she just knew it was the right thing to do, and you were going to fight to death with anyone who dared make her believe otherwise.

Yelena could be considered the world-traveling aunt, except for the fact that it wasn't for fun and more for the purposes of freeing brainwashed Black Widows.

And when she was in town, your daughter would always come back with her sugar at 110% because her Aunt Yelena spoiled her with exaggerated doses of sweets, after taking her to the amusement park or the movies. You had difficulty putting her to sleep, because it was 9 p.m. and Alissa kept running around the house even though you begged her in every possible way that it was time to go to sleep.

So, while she was at the coffee table drawing, you were on the couch with Liho lounging in the other single recliner, taking her fifth nap of the day. The little black cat was no exception when it came to missing Natasha, constantly climbing on the bed on the side that used to be where she slept, meowing as if she was wondering where that nice redhead she used to visit in her apartment had gone.

Cats were transcendental beings, and you wondered if during her naps, she really did have astral travels where she could meet your girlfriend without worrying about the planes of existence that she could easily visit with zero effort.

You had your legs covered by the same blanket that once also kept your girlfriend warm on these cold days, and how she used to sneak under it to lie on your lap or to tease you by placing her cold hands under your shirt.

"I'm done," Alissa said after a few minutes. "It's mom."

You took the drawing delicately, as if it were a work that required the touch of cautious hands only, almost as if a very abrupt movement would fade the work captured on paper.

You watched carefully.

It was Natasha, but she did not have her reddish hair with blonde ends as your daughter had known her, but was from years ago, and you wondered if the girl had come across more pictures besides the ones hanging on the wall.

"Ah, here she has long curly hair. You portrayed her beautifully, honey," you complimented her, a nostalgic smile plastered on your face. "There was a time when her hair was like that, actually."

"I know," she admitted. "Mom told me she was just working for S.H.I.E.L.D back then and that's how she met Iron Man, pretending to be Natalie Rushman, a new assistant. That was the start of this whole Avengers adventure."

"Oh, yes..." you let out a chuckle. "Who told you that? Aunt Yelena?"

"No, mom told me."

"Ah, mom told you... when?"

"Last night, last night I dreamed about her," Alissa replied, so casually that it seemed to surprise her no longer. At first, she woke up crying, saying she hated the reality, and wished it wasn't a dream. However, over the days she began to relate it as if it were a regular occurrence. "We were in my room, and she saw my drawing wall. She asked me to draw her this way too, because she misses her long hair," she added. "Oh, and she also told me that birthday candles actually grant wishes. Because she once wished she was 36 forever, but she negotiated with you and it ended up being 38."

You tensed your jaw, and you mewed all the way in while making a superhuman effort not to burst into tears right there.

You had these recurring dreams of Natasha, mostly where she would tell you how proud she was of how you kept going for yourself and your daughter every day. In another, which was the day you met Yelena, the same night, you dreamed she asked you about how you liked her. In all the dreams she told you that she loved you and Alissa, and that sooner or later, she would find a way to get back to you.

"I'll find a way back," she said. "In the meantime, remember that love transcends time and space. We love each other, that's all we need to stay together more than ever."

Your daughter had similar dreams, with the difference being that many of them were just about the two of them spending time together like they used to.

You knew that Natasha healed her inner child through activities with Alissa. She might have looked mature and tough on the outside, but on the inside, she loved spending time with her little girl and at the same time giving the little Natasha living inside her all those experiences she was deprived of.

You thought you were going crazy and delusional, and that these dreams were just your subconscious going to great lengths to offer comfort and protect you and Alissa from pain.

But, it was not possible for Alissa to know that, as it happened long before she was adopted. That little anecdote you never mentioned it to a single soul, and neither did Natasha, otherwise it would have been brought up long before. Besides, your daughter wasn't a liar. And there was no way for her to know this.

There was just no way for her to know.

"You know, mom told me that, as long as we love her, she can transcend space and time, and be here, even if it's not on the physical plane like we are," you spoke finally, your voice failing to sound steady. Still, you didn't try harder. Natasha taught you in that support group when you first met her that even the strongest heroes had a right to break.

"Like she does when she visits me," Alissa concluded, smiling excitedly. "I know it's not my head or my imagination. I know it's her."

March 2nd, 2023

"I know it's you, mom!"

"No, who's your mom? I'm Rapunzel," Natasha said, in a high-pitched voice, far from her raspy tone.

She looked adorable in that blonde wig that came down to her heels, the purple dress and the makeup you did before your daughter arrived at the park where she would be having her very first surprise birthday party. Natasha insisted on dressing up instead of hiring an impersonator, because that way it would be more special and a nicer memory that her daughter would look back on in a few years.

"And I am, Flynn Ryder!" Steve came out from behind a tree, with his hair styled like said character, and a costume that also closely resembled, he even had that cross-body bag around his torso.

"That is you, Uncle Steve," she paused. "Oh, but I don't need a princess when my mom is a hero!" The little girl ran from her seat, and hugged Natasha's legs, who with a pout and teary eyes, lifted her off the floor and hugged her tightly.

That scene caused your eyes to glaze over as well, and as you looked around at everyone present, you realized you weren't the only one.

Steve, Clint, Melina, Alexei... everyone was touched. Everyone close to Natasha knew very well what it meant to her to have been given the opportunity to be a mother despite her past and unavailability to get pregnant, and watching the amazing job she was doing would warm up even the coldest heart.

"Hey! What about me?" Steve exclaimed, feigning offense at Alissa's exclusion.

"You too!" The little girl extended her arm in his direction, inviting him to join in the embrace.

Natasha then extended her free arm in your direction, and you didn't know how or at what point, but suddenly everyone present was enveloped in a group hug. Even Alexei ended up joining despite his previous rivalry with Steve. It was something everyone definitely needed.

"Okay, darling, let's pretend you don't know it's us and let us perform the act we prepared," Natasha spoke, and the little girl laughed at the silly impression of Rapunzel and Flynn Ryder your girlfriend and Steve had prepared for this special ocassion.

December 3rd, 2023

"We will be here when you come back, my love," you whispered with your forehead leaning against Natasha's, after pulling stay from a passionate kiss.

"Don't worry yourself. Clint and I will go to another planet, collect one of the Infinity Stones and be back in literally a minute," was the last sentence Natasha directed towards you, very confident that those words would be the truth.

"Damn you, Natalia!" You exclaimed, throwing your phone towards the floor of your room, so hard that you wouldn't be surprised if it broke.

It wasn't the best idea to end this day looking at old pictures; of your first dates with Natasha, of when you moved in together with Liho, and of the day you adopted Alissa, among thousands of other memories frozen through photograph.

You were drowning in your own tears again like every night, after Alissa was already sound asleep in her room to hear you.

It was a routine where you fell asleep after draining it all away, so you would have the strength to face another day without her.

You missed her caresses, her kisses, hearing her laugh, her jokes and her raspy voice in the mornings.

All physical aspects that ultimately were a form in which her eternal essence manifested itself, but you knew now more than ever that you were only used to her physical form, but that her essence would live on until the end of time.

Until she would return to us again.

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

do u have any horror recs for other mediums? tv, podcasts, books, youtube shorts, etc

I'm really gonna show my ass in this regard because most of my recommendations are going to be TV shows or short stories because I haven't branched out much beyond that if I'm honest.

I love The Haunting of Hill House (Nell Crain is my favourite horror character full stop) and The Fall of the House of Usher from Mike Flanagan (most of his shows are incredible but these two are my favourite).

THOHH: Flashing between past and present, a fractured family confronts haunting memories of their old home and the terrifying events that drove them from it.

TFOTHOU: To secure their fortune (and future) two ruthless siblings build a family dynasty that begins to crumble when their heirs mysteriously die, one by one.

The Exorcist (2016) was great!

The Exorcist follows two very different priests tackling one family's case of horrifying demonic possession. Father Tomas Ortega is the new face of the Catholic Church: progressive, ambitious and compassionate. He runs a small, but loyal, parish in the suburbs of Chicago. Father Marcus Keane is an orphan raised since childhood by the Vatican to wage war against its enemies. He is everything Father Tomas is not: relentless, abrasive and utterly consumed by his mission.

I really liked American Horror Story: Asylum, can't say the same for the other seasons.

AHS: Asylum takes place in 1964 and follows the stories of the staff and inmates who occupy the fictional mental institution Briarcliff Manor, and intercuts with events in the past and present.

I also liked a few South Korean shows I saw on Netflix.

Kingdom (2019): While strange rumors about their ill King grip a kingdom, the crown prince becomes their only hope against a mysterious plague overtaking the land.

All of Us Are Dead (2022): A high school becomes ground zero for a zombie virus outbreak. Trapped students must fight their way out or turn into one of the rabid infected.

Hellbound (2021): People hear predictions on when they will die. When that time comes, a death angel appears in front of them and kills them.

I loved Interview with a Vampire (especially because it does everything the movie didn't, which is why I didn't like the movie). it's very gay, it plays heavily into the themes of vampirism and sexuality, and I love Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson as Lestat and Louis.

In terms of other media, I really like the Dead Meat channel (if I haven't said it enough already), I also like the Scream Dreams Podcast with Catherine Corcoran (from Terrifier), James A. Janisse (from Dead Meat) and Barbara Crampton (prolific and stunning horror actor).

I know it's a little over done now, but that original series of 'The Backrooms' by KanePixels was great.

Some other horror channels/channels that explore horror as well as other topics are SpookyRice, MistaGG, Wendigoon, ElvisTheAlien, BionicPIG, Trin Lovell, KennieJD, MertKayKay, and AmandaTheJedi.

With books, I'm such a basic bitch, so I've really only read Stephen King's horror books. I'm not sure of this is horror or just very bleak and depressing but I'm Thinking of Ending Things was an incredible reading experience. And at this point it goes without saying House of Leaves is so fucking mindblowing!

H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe were terrible people, but their short stories are truly so dark and well-written, the cosmic horror Lovecraft is known translates best in his writing. Ambrose Bierce is the father of psychological horror as we know it, his short stories are great. My favourite short horror story is The Yellow Wallpaper. If you are interested in an audio version of it, listen to Chelsea from the Dead Meat channel with headphones (headphones are vital to that experience).

That's all I can think of off the top of my head for now! I'm sure others will give their own recommendations.

[jules-has-notes]

Oogie Boogie's Song — VoicePlay music video

It wouldn't be spooky season for VoicePlay without an elaborate production involving costumes, makeup, and character voices, so they dipped into the soundtrack from The Nightmare Before Christmas once again. After portraying the hero and denizens of Halloween Town over the previous two years, the boys turned to the villain of the piece. And since they'd been kidnapped a couple times themselves during that time, it seemed only fair that the boys got to turn the tables for once.

They'd included an excerpt of this song in their "Aca Top 10 – Disney Villains" countdown earlier in the year, the fans had clamored for a full version, and VoicePlay definitely delivered.

Details:

title: Oogie Boogie's Song

original song / performer: Ken Page as Oogie Boogie in The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

written by: Danny Elfman

arranged by: Layne Stein

release date: 18 October 2019

My favorite bits:

their closet cosplay versions of the characters, complete with dramatic high-contrast makeup

that high, taunting "Oooh, I'm really scared!"

Layne's shuffling percussion line that keeps the tempo feeling unhurried

the moments of double-tracked Geoff doing his usual non-lyric bass stuff to give the sound more depth and menace

J.None, Earl, and Eli repeating ♫ "Ha!" ♫ in their harmony lines to really rub it in

everyone's distinct character voices that they somehow maintain while singing and speaking on pitch

Layne's giving adorable finger guns on beat in the first chorus

the fun syncopation from the trio on ♫ "This may be your last song" ♫

Geoff jumping up two full octaves for that first big belt of ♫ "I'm the Oogie Boogie man!" ♫

J's bouncy gallop as they sing ♫ "roly poly Santa Claus" ♫ 🎅

that funky descending arpeggio from Geoff after Layne's "to add a little spice"

the eerie, ghostlike ♫"oooh"s ♫ in the backing vocal behind Santa's "please come to your senses"

those cool raver mouth lights in the blackout breakdown section

the crunchy harmonies for ♫ "shut this fella up" ♫

the jittery audio panning on ♫ "drowning in my tears" ♫ (Listen with headphones if you can.)

Eli's plaintive descending riff behind "I'm going to do my stuff."

the playful tone of "Imma do the best I can."

Layne's descending tom line to transition into the key change

those light, rounded arpeggios behind "Release me fast…"

the meta humor of Geoff addressing his actual brother-in-law as "Oh, brother…"

Earl putting a little extra grit on "You haven't got a prayer."

Eli's wavy hand motions as the whole group creeps toward Santa

that long belt on ♫ "No-WHEEERE" ♫ followed by going even higher

Geoff spelunking down three and a half octaves in about ten seconds, good grief

the captions (accurately) describing his final subharmonic note as "subterranean"

that deep, gravelly chuckle under the rest of the group's laughter

Trivia:

This is the third of four consecutive Nightmare Before Christmas videos VoicePlay created as their Halloween offerings.

It was filmed at the REBL HQ studio at Full Sail University, with production assistance from several of the film students there, and set design by the studio's production design instructor.

Their costumes represent characters from the movie. Geoff is, of course, the titular Oogie Boogie, as he was two years earlier for their version of "What's This?". Eli, Earl, and J.None are his minions: Lock, Shock, and Barrel, respectively. And Layne cast himself as Jack Skellington's ghost dog, Zero.

To achieve those looks, the guys once again called on stylist Tanya Buzu, who had previously dressed them for the "Beautiful Low" and "Shape of You / No Diggity" mashup videos.

The character appearances were made complete with makeup from their frequent collaborator, Rick Underwood.

The performer in the Santa costume is Kathy Castellucci's brother, Pasquale Palazzolo, who had known most of the guys since they were in high school together.

Santa's dialogue, however, was provided by Eli, who lends his voice acting talents to many of their guest characters.

For their "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" video the following year, Eli and J.None reprised their roles as Lock and Barrel, but everyone else was recast.

Geoff's original final note was an E2 (already fairly low), but Layne asked if he could take it down the octave for a more dramatic ending. He gave it his best shot, and the E1 that reliably shocks YouTube reactors was born. He quickly got good enough at it to consistently perform the song in their live shows starting that holiday season.

The funky bass-guitar-sounding descending arpeggio at 1:20 was created by layering two different takes of Geoff singing the notes in two different octaves, then applying a filter in post-production.

The Facebook upload hit a million views in less than three weeks.

The YouTube version quickly caught up and surpassed that total, with another recent surge of views bringing it over 13 million after the passing of Oogie Boogie voice actor Ken Page in late September 2024.

A fan's daughter was inspired to draw her mom some adorable chibi-fied versions of some of the characters.

digital drawings posted by @/tra23581191 on Twitter

[storytellering]

When and how did you discover DMC? And what makes you love the franchise?

Ohh, great question anon! Personally I was always kinda peripherally aware of DMC as a franchise - when I was early in middle school (around 10/11) I started really getting into anime and manga, and that was before I really spoke fluent english that much, so I was primarily looking for stuff that was either dubbed or subtitled in my native language - there was one TV channel that broadcasted dubbed anime, and it was really not that many back in the day... but somehow, the dmc TV anime was one of those! I really loved it, and I must've rewatched it a billion times - it was one of the late night programs so I remember sneaking out past my bedtime to plug my headphones into the TV and watch it, haha. But still, I didn't own any game consoles, and I didn't know how to use the internet too well yet, so all I could do was think "oh, dmc sounds so cool, sure wish I could actually play the games and get more context some time.", and it kinda stayed that way for the rest of my life! In 2019, even though it was completely out of my immediate sphere, I heard word of dmc5 out on the internet, and though I'd forgotten most of what I'd gathered back in middle school with the anime, I did remember it being something I'd been peripherally interested in for a long time, and then - I admit it, I was startstruck by how hot the main 3 characters looked on the cover art, LMAO. I still couldn't play most games (all I had was the aforementioned nds, a wii u, and and older mac laptop), BUT exactly for that reason I'd learned to just watch playthroughs of the games I was interested in - and i was immediately interested in dmc5, like I said at a glance just bc every character was very attractive to me, but you know how it is, my dick has lead me to places I wouldn't even go with a gun, etc etc. I just had this almost fugue state moment of reading everything I could on the wiki about the plot, the lore and the characters, saving a cutscene movie video of the game to watch later, and being SO into how pretty much every ship would be incestuous and very drawn to what that would entail for the characters, going on a fic reading binge..... and then literally forgetting ALL about it within the week. Like, literally, if you'd asked me if any of that had happened before I actually properly got into dmc, I'm not sure I would've been able to remember that happening at all. AND THEN, finally, this backstory comes to a head in december 2020/january 2021 - that was the year where I got my first job, (i know, what a year to do that, LMAO. it was a waiter job too) so for the first time in my life I had a little bit of extra money to spend, and so I decided to get myself a ps4 as a christmas gift so I could finally catch up with all the franchises I'd been wanting so bad to get into but had missed out on, or those I'd had to get into via watching someone else play, and could finally experience firsthand. DMC5 was one of the very first games I got myself - and I still have texts with my best friend from that time to remind me exactly when the very first time I booted the game was (january 15th, 2021). I'd like to say it was love at first sight, but it actually... kinda wasn't. I had forgotten most of my past interest, and at the time, I just kinda experienced it as a game that was really fun, really cool, and kinda put to the back of my mind (though I will say - my immediate reaction WAS that I'd genuinely, honestly never had that much fun playing a game before. Like - maybe it's because I hadn't really played any console game up to that point, but... video games had always been something that, while i was really interested in, I just kinda suffered through to experience a story, or something I powered through because I wanted to see it through to the end, actively enjoying the process on the way there was rare, for me - and dmc was genuinely just fun. Even without the plot to drive it forwards, I liked playing it just to play it, and that was like an INSANE concept to me back then lol).

(I'll have to continue this in a RB bc it turned out I have way too much to say and going way over the character limit WHOOPS stay tuned lol)

[runningfrom2am]

achilles heel - II: I Figured She Was His Sarah

summary:

Grace is the very opposite of her brother in every way. when she finally moves onto campus at UNC Chapel Hill, she feels like she gets to be her own person, make her own friends, and hopefully start a promising career in the museum industry, and maybe, one day, get married to her high school sweetheart and live the American dream for herself. Rafe Cameron however, upon their very first meeting, throws a wrench in her very perfect plan.

tags/warnings:

rafe cameron x fem!oc, rafe is giving very much homewrecker, fanon!rafe (kinda), college!au, friends to lovers, slow-burn (maybe?), minimal oc description, drug and alcohol use, mostly unedited, (these tags are not exhaustive, lmk if i should add anything!)

wc: 1.9k

my master list

series masterlist

requests

January 5th, 2019

Rafe eyes the ball flying towards him from up above, stepping back a few paces and raising his leg, and lowering it quickly to cushion its fall and keep it from flying out of his control, giving it a gentle tap a few feet away so he can wind up for his shot. He nails it, and it lands right against the top left corner of the net in front of him.

He smiles in satisfaction with himself, placing his hands on his hips as he steps off to the sidelines to grab some water while his coach spouts off at the next player in line. He watches for a minute or so before his eyes drift upwards in the indoor field, landing on the looping track on the next level up.

The indoor fields at UNC are honestly impressive- and actually, were a huge motivator for Rafe to attend. Besides the fact that his dad would have had a conniption at the mere mention of him going anywhere else. Overlooking the indoor soccer field is a full-size running track, circling over top with a glass barrier. From up above you have a great view of whatever's going on down below, and lucky for Rafe, on this day, he has a great view of Grace walking laps around the track, right along the railing.

She didn't even realize her brother would be practicing at the same time she decided to take a study break and stretch her legs, but she's always enjoyed watching his sports games the same way Ben used to attend all her dance and violin recitals when they were growing up. It was a pleasant surprise to be able to look down and watch him practice while she listened to her music and got a good healthy break from her stuffy dorm room.

"Cameron- stop drooling over the track girls and get back out here." His coach calls him, pulling him out of his mind as he watched her walk about halfway around the track without even noticing a moment had passed. He's pretty sure she didn't look down for even a moment. Rafe promptly throws his water bottle back into his gym bag on the ground, jogging back over to join the next drill. Sprints- everyone's favorite.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

"So, you into track? Or..." Rafe says, joining Grace's side as she continued to walk even when their practice was over.

"Huh?" She pulls out her headphone, looking over at him with a smile. "Oh! You're Ben's friend. I'm so sorry- you'll have to remind me of your name...?"

"It's- uh, my name is Rafe." He's taken aback by her response- he's never had someone forget his name before. "I was just wondering if you were into track or something." He repeats.

"Right, yes! Rafe. Sorry, I'm not the best with names," She explains, attempting to ease his mind. She understood it was rude to forget names, but honestly, his is a little bit obscure so how could she have remembered when she's only heard it once before? "And no, not really into track." Grace laughs slightly, shaking her head and looking down. "I just wanted to stretch my legs. My room is just so cramped."

"Ah, gotcha." Rafe nods, his duffle slung over his shoulder with all his soccer gear thrown inside hastily.

"I can't imagine it's as bad as the frat." She jokes.

Rafe laughs at that. "Yeah, no way. It's honestly the worst."

"Ben loves it, though. Just bros being dudes, all sharing a house." She shrugs. "Sounds like my own personal version of hell, that might just be me though."

"Well, that explains why I've never seen you there," Rafe replies.

Grace nods, reaching up and tightening her ponytail as it started to drop down the back of her head. "I just can't even imagine the smell."

"It's pretty bad." He agrees, chuckling at that as he shakes his head, his eyes trained firmly on the side of her face since she was no longer looking at him.

"What about your boyfriend? He live on campus too?" Rafe asks, trying not to sound like he's prying.

Grace nods again, clearly not reading into it. "Yeah, he lives a couple floors below me."

"Would I know him?"

"Probably not- unless you know a lot of the engineering kids. From the impression I get, they tend to keep within their own group." She explains. "He's also in his third year now, so that affects things too."

Grace has always been a little insecure around Nate's friends, more so now that she's in the same school. They're all just so intimidatingly smart- and she knows she's smart too, but engineering students have this annoying habit of looking down on other majors. Especially art- so they immediately treat her accordingly; as if she's an idiot.

"I definitely don't know any engineering students," Rafe says. "What's his name?"

"Nate- Nathan." She corrects herself quickly, remembering he doesn't like strangers calling him by his nickname.

"Cool." Rafe nods, and he's pained by the few moments of silence that follow.

"What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?" Grace asks, which shocks him. She didn't seem super conversational before, or really interested in him personally. "Or boyfriend, I realize I don't know you well enough to make that assumption.

"No, uh, no girlfriend." He replies, brushing past her second comment. "Relationships have never really been my thing."

"Fair enough." Grace nods. "I mean, fits into what little I know about Ben's teammates."

"Gee, thanks."

"That's not a bad thing!" Grace backtracks quickly. "Sorry, Rafe, I feel like I've made a shitty first impression." She admits, rubbing her forehead.

Rafe smiles a little at that, shaking his head. "No, you're fine." He promises her. He's honestly met handfuls of girls who have probably made way worse first impressions and he's still gone home with them anyways, but there's something about Grace that had her on his mind all day regardless.

"I'm glad you feel that way since we've got a whole semester of seeing each other twice a week ahead of us." Grace laughs.

"What do you plan on doing with a history degree, anyways?" He asks her.

"I'm thinking I want to be a museum curator. I've just always been so fascinated with all that stuff." Grace explains, shrugging her shoulders just slightly.

"That's cool- I never considered that like, people have to do that as a job." Rafe muses.

"Well, what's your plan then? With history?"

Rafe doesn't honestly have an answer. "Uh, I don't know. I just feel like the courses would be really interesting. 120 Is kind of a trial run for me."

"Well, I hope you like it! Last semester my history courses were the highlights. I hated my requirements." She laughs. "I don't understand why I had to take a science for a Bachelor of Arts degree, but at least it's done."

"Ugh." Rafe groans. "Maybe I don't want to take history then."

"Then you definitely don't want to take business- it's a surprising amount of math, and communications is such a drag." Grace explains, stopping off the track near the exit where she placed her backpack.

"Uh, do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?" Rafe offers, following behind her like a lost puppy, trying not to stare as she bends over to grab her bag, pulling her water bottle out.

She turns and throws her bag over her shoulder, taking a sip of water. "No! No, you don't need to do that. Thank you, though."

Grace smiles at him, and he just nods. "I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early?" She asks, and Rafe takes this as his cue to leave her be.

"Yeah, uh, yeah. I'll see you then." He replies, watching keenly as she waves and turns to leave. "Hey, Grace?"

"Hm?" She turns, slowing her pace as she walks backward.

"Maybe I could grab your number? I feel like if I get around to doing the readings tonight I may have some questions and I think you could clear those up." Rafe asks. Not his smoothest attempt at getting a girl's number, asking her to help him with homework, but at least it seemed relevant and not weird.

Grace couldn't hide her disappointment at this, but she tried to keep her smile. Of course, her brother's friend would also want help with homework. "Sure, ask Ben for it." She replies, pushing open the door to the stairs and promptly leaving him behind as it slams behind her.

Rafe sighs, dropping his shoulders. He knows Ben won't give it to him if he even decided to ask. There goes his shot, which for once, he wasn't sure he even had. He sulks to himself as he walks out of the building, unable to stop himself from glancing down the tree-lined road heading in the direction of the dorms. He sees Grace making her way down the road just as he gets on his dirt bike, watching her turn a corner and leave his line of sight behind a patch of trees.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

"Rafe- hey, buddy, are you gonna help us prep for the opener this weekend?" His lifelong friend, Kelce, asks him as he walks in their front door.

"Another one?" Rafe sighs, throwing his bag down on the table.

"Well, duh, we had one last semester. We have to get back into the routine after Christmas break." Kelce explains, hardly looking back from his video games on their obnoxiously large TV.

"Okay, then yeah, I guess so." Rafe shrugs, striding over and falling back onto the couch next to him. "Who are we inviting?"

"Anyone. Everyone who will pay to get in- also the sorority girls." Kelce answers.

"Gotcha. They're annoying as hell." Rafe admits. He thought he'd be all over the idea of sorority girls- pretty girls who are nice enough to do charity events twice a week, but smart enough to maintain good enough grades to stay there. Surprisingly to him, he kind of dreads having to be around all of them at once.

His friend laughs, shaking his head. "True. They're hot though. That's what matters." Kelce drops his controller when the game over screen pops up, sighing and leaning back on the couch cushions. "Want to do a booze run with me tonight?"

"Uh, I mean I guess so. I've got some readings to do tonight so I probably should get that done first." Rafe agrees, mindlessly scrolling on his phone.

"Woah-" Kelce laughs, "You're doing readings now? Since when do you care?"

"I don't. Not really. I mean, it might be nice to actually understand what's going on." Rafe shrugs, not pulling his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"I mean, yeah? I guess so." Kelce agrees, eyeing his friend skeptically.

"Did you know Ben has a sister?" Rafe says, catching his friend off guard.

"I mean, yeah, he's mentioned her once or twice."

"She's in our class. They're straight up twins, I didn't even know he had a sister until yesterday."

"Yeah because your head is always so far up your own ass." Kelce laughs. "To be fair I didn't know shit about her. Or that he had a twin. I figured she was his Sarah, like, probably hated her guts so I never bothered to ask her name or anything."

"Yeah... true. It's Grace, though, if you wanted to know." Rafe replies flatly, shoving his phone in his pocket and standing up, grabbing his bag as Kelce picks up the controller again. "Hey- do you think we could ask the team if we should invite the engineering kids this weekend? I've heard they party pretty hard."

"Yeah, we'll ask. Can't see why they'd say no to more people."

Rafe nods even though his friend can't see him, and stalks up the stairs and towards his room. He sees no harm in having just a quick nap before starting the readings.

taglist: @madelynie @slut4drudy (message me or reply to this to be added!)

[cypionate60mg]

hello, do you have other songs recs that have similar vibes like if you can't do it good do it hard?

Sure, here's a sampling. All of these are best listened to with headphones.

That track is from this album by Against All Logic, Nicolas Jaar's side project. Worth listening to all the way through. I prefer the first release from AAL. 2012-2017, that first LP, is a lot groovier and more analog-feeling, with many homages to the sentimental sampling style of old school house. In both releases, Jaar puts different sounds in conversation with each other, looping and cutting them to make these gorgeous sound collages. The result varies. In 2012-2017, he turns these old records into something powerfully nostalgic and sensual. 2017-2019 is a little more jagged and digital, but it has better flow from track to track.

If you like the hydraulic sounds of IYCDIGDIH, check out Drexciya, where things go underwater but still remain futurist. This particular track is a good starting comparison, but I highly recommend listening to their entire discography, release by release. I feel like it's important to understand the magical, mysterious way their music entered onto the 90s Detroit scene, one wax pressing at a time. Little vinyl discs with sci-fi art about the African diaspora. Other people explain it better. They crafted a mythos that many people have written about. You could start listening here.

The members of Drexciya had all sorts of side projects too, many of which served as further commentaries on race in the electronic music scene. I'll let you discover those for yourself.

If AAL's 2017-2019 is a stainless steel blade, then Daft Punk's Homework is a fork in a microwave. It still holds up well, if you like a thudding, fuzzy, driving sound. A far cry from the poppy stuff they did later in their career.

Some of Arca's older music, like that from her debut album Xen, might interest you if you're into something a little less tied to rhythm and more spacious. But there are dancier tracks peppered throughout her discography. She's always going to sound incredibly cutting-edge.

If you liked the darkness of early Arca but still want the insistent rhythms of AAL, try this out. A little more industrial. This particular Tzusing album holds a special place in my heart.

And if it was the Lydia Lunch sample in IYCDIGDIH that really captured your attention, then perhaps you'd like to hear more from her.

Happy listening