#believe me - i have a trans character; another nonbinary character; and a gay couple

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

Holy shit I didn’t realize it was your birthday till now. Happy birthday.

Thank you all!!! I appreciate the birthday wishes! I'm currently finishing up the next chapter, then I'll answer some questions so I can get it posted!

I also still have a pride month oneshot in the works, but I'm working on it so I don't reveal too much at once!

[rainesol]

TWST Main Cast Pride Headcanons!!!

Compiling all of my personal twst gender/sexuality headcanons into one post 💪

Disclaimer: I won’t bother with a DNI, however I won’t indulge any discourse or homo/trans/aphobia on this post. You will be blocked and promptly clowned on in the group chat. o7

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

Riddle is an interesting character to me. I don’t think he’s the type to put a label onto his sexuality, but I headcanon bi with a female preference. Gender identity wise, I think within the current storyline he is satisfied with he/him pronouns. Best way to put it into words is that I think he’s nonbinary and uses he/him, but doesn’t have a label for that either. After finding out the custom, he always introduces himself and gives his pronouns.

I choose to interpret his line about enjoying the way his heels click as gender euphoria that just went unrecognised. At the time that I’m writing this, the Lost In The Book event isn’t out on en, but through this translation, you can see that any problems he had with the outfit came from the amount of skin shown rather than the actual presentation. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been magical-girled into a sundress he’d have been totally cool with it.

As an extra note, I’ve seen a couple of transfem Riddle headcanons that I love. I’d love to see more fics with that concept in the fandom. Or I could do it myself lol.

Ace Trappola:

We know that Ace has canonically had a girlfriend in the past, and found her boring. Not nice. He also says that he decided that dating was a pain and he prefers just hanging out with his friends. I get it. I’m aroace and I’ve confessed that I’m biased and projecting 😔 But like. Come on. I’m choosing to interpret him as aromantic/arospec. Let me cling on to the representation that I made up in my head. I don’t have any specific gender headcanons on this guy. I just view him as cis. He/him.

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is another guy I don’t have much for </3 I usually view him as a gay man in my head? He/him pronouns, cisgender. I think he’s surprisingly more open to gender non-conformity than people expect of him, though. (For instance, the ballet lessons.)

Cater Diamond:

It’s canon in the jp server that Cater has interest in dating both men and women. I’m with everyone else in viewing him as canon bisexual. I headcanon him as having a male preference, but sometimes that changes.

It’s obvious what I’ll say about his gender, but for sure under the nonbinary umbrella. We all saw the guitar strap. Maybe demiboy? He/they. Cater is very online, and considering that the nonbinary flag is ten years old, he or his elder sisters might remember its creation.

Anyways, here’s the nonbinary flag colour picked from his club groovy, and the bisexual flag picked from his Halloween groovy! :D

Trey Clover:

Trey is typically a cis dude in my head. (He/him) He's the supportive older brother type, so I imagine that he keeps the Heartslabyul public bathrooms stocked on pads. I don't know how helpful he would be with advice, but he'll hear you out or refer you to the guidance councillor if that's what you want o7 I don't think the NRC guidance councillors are much help though. Maybe just speak to your homeroom teacher.

I hc that Trey likes men and women with no preference, but just isn't very vocal about it. It'll come up in casual conversation, but I don't think he'd see the point in telling someone unless it was relevant. You'd be having a casual convo with him in the common room, and he might make a reference to a guy he had a crush on in secondary school. Cue SnapCube 'Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!'

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

I've seen so many 'token cishet' Leona headcanons that I cant help but to absorb it a little. I do have another headcanon that he experiences some same-sex attraction, but he's got such high standards that he rarely notices any attraction at all. He/him. Maybe poly cause lions?

Jack Howl:

MLM demisexual/romantic truther. (He/him or he/they) I don't have many headcanons for the Savanaclaw trio <//3 if you see/make any please feel free to tag me!! I love reading I love information I love headcanons‼️

Ruggie Bucchi:

Either transmasc or the personification of the 'I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn'. I usually picture him with He/him or he/they. Perhaps a rare they/them if you so desire.

Pansexual, his only preference is hard workers on their grind 💪 Between you both you could create an empire of part-time jobs. I've also seen one or two poly headcanons with him that I enjoy. Dividing the bills between the whole polycule lads come on. We're eating good this week.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

I cannot lie, I don't have anything on this guy. There's nothing to be said yk. Like, he's just there in my head and there's not much else I can add. I tend to agree with the MLM headcanons. I also picture him as demisexual/romantic sometimes. Not always. He's the best in the school at remembering pronouns. He updates his secret file on you right away.

Gender wise, I always just enjoy whatever the fanartist/fic writer shows me. I default to he/him. Ursula was based on a drag queen! I think that there should be post-canon/book 3 Azul drag personas. Now I'm picturing a drag design. She/her/he/him for that.

Floyd Leech:

Asexual and panromantic. I think Floyd uses any pronouns, depending on his mood. I headcanon genderfluid, but he typically keeps near the masc end of the spectrum. Not always. The basketball club made colour-coordinated bracelets so that they can easily tell whenever Floyd's preferences have changed. Blue for he/him, pink for she/her, yellow for they/them. Open for combinations of those three, and no bracelets for when he has no preference :D

Jade Leech:

Asexual and gay. I headcanon that he always introduces himself with he/him pronouns, but at the same time I picture him being cool with any pronouns. In classic Jade fashion, he will be generally unnerving about your choice. Like 'Oh? Is that your choice? ...Fascinating :)'

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim:

I don't have many headcanons on him specifically, but he'll totally pay for your HRT. Like Trey, he and Jamil keep Scarabia stocked with menstrual products. Kalim has a LOT of siblings, so he's seen a lot of different kinds of people :D He's got a ton of older brother advice. I see him with he/him pronouns, and MLM.

Kalim is a very supportive friend. Always excited to learn new things about his you. Also, those parades he throws? I bet he's (Jamil's) organised an NRC pride event. If I had the skills and patience, I'd draw that idea. If anybody does, tag me o7 I wanna see.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil is a very well prepared man. As I mentioned above, he's the one that puts Kalim's plans into action. He keeps Scarabia stocked on everything, he's technically still an older brother, but I don't see him as having that dynamic with anyone other than his sister. He's still a supportive friend, though :D

I headcanon Jamil as bi, usually with he/him pronouns.

I once had a transfem au Jamil idea way back when I was 17, but I haven't given it much thought since. Maybe I'll bring the au back someday?

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil has A LOT of headcanons, theories and interpretations in the fandom. Vil is canonically a very gender nonconforming character, using typically gender neutral pronouns, being comfortable in his gender identity and presentation, and is very open to wider interpretations of gender outside of what is stereotypically considered 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

Surprisingly, I've got no proper headcanons on a set gender identity for him. There's already so much canon info within the series, that I just haven't given it much thought. I think he defaults to he/him pronouns, but is perfectly comfortable with anything. Keeps Pomefiore stocked and educated, and he's very well taught in makeup that can make you appear feminine OR masculine.

Similarly, I don't really have any label-specific headcanons for his sexuality. I normally interpret him as MLM. Vil is one of the characters that I'm always interested to see discussions about. His views on gender identity are pretty refreshing to see in modern media.

Epel Felmier:

Epel my friend! Another character that I like reading interpretations of. Again, I always give him he/him pronouns. He also had a lot of canon information on his views of gender norms. His character arc is honestly one of my favourites.

I typically picture that he’s attracted to multiple genders. I’ve seen a lot of interpretations where he mistakes his attraction for jealousy. A lot of “do I want to date him or be him?”

Another au/headcanon I’ve seen a lot of is transmasc Epel. I know a lot of transmasc people see themselves in him. That’s awesome.

Rook Hunt:

This guy! I see him as pansexual but also on the aromantic spectrum. Hear me out. In his suitor suit he has one (1) singular line about not being ready for marriage yet. Like obviously, he’s eighteen, but it just made the projecting side of my brain whir. I now see him as the type to like the idea of romance, just not for himself. Doesn’t mean that I don’t like seeing art/ships that go against this, but that is a hc I hold dear now.

He/him pronouns, but this guy loves to discuss peoples gender identity and interpretations of gender. Sit down with him and a cup of tea, and he’ll listen and talk for hours about how you both feel. Be warned that he may take notes. Mirror pronouns Rook? Oh wait. I like that. Mirror. Like Snow White.

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

I typically see Idia as aroace with either little or no attraction. I like the headcanon that he doesn’t date at all, but I’ve also seen enough Silver x Idia to have another set of headcanons. I like both :D I’ve never seen him as not aroace though.

I do kind of wish I had his Suitor Suit sometimes. Every other line is something I’ve definitely said before. Like, the only time he shows any interest in dating is through video games and manga with characters that aren’t him. That’s so me irl you guys don’t understand. I would die happy if twst had canon aro/ace rep.

I think Idia’s the type to only use different pronouns online. Maybe with Ortho, too. He/they online and with close family. Everyone else knows him as he/him. I said that Cater might remember the nonbinary flag’s creation. Idia does. He was on twst tumblr to witness the creation of many flags.

Here's the aroace flag picked from the Suitor Suit card! :D Very pretty.

Ortho Shroud:

Ortho is downright fascinating to pick apart. Pre book 6, I doubt Idia programmed a sexuality into him. Like it would even be possible. Then post book 6, after he gains a soul/sentience, I think he and Idia would have had a talk about him now having the choice to one day explore his gender identity and orientation (if he so desires). I think Ortho wouldn’t have any interest in dating, though.

Confessional time. Before wiring this I had the random thought of “In second year Ortho downloads she/they.zip and gets a new body made”. I never meant to pay much kind to it but now I can’t let it go. Like I’ve been accidentally referring to Ortho as she in front of friends. I have a future design in mind. I have additional headcanons about this design. It’s completely taken over. If I ever post that redesign is beyond me but it’s there in my head and it won’t leave. Fem!Ortho future au. Idk if anyone would hear me out there.

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

Another character I enjoy multiple interpretations of. One interpretation I have of him is cupiosexual/romantic. The other is demisexual/panromantic. Either way, the concept of a qpr would make him so excited that it doesn’t rain for days on Sage’s Island. The grass withered.

Malleus is old. Not mentally, but chronologically. He’s seen language change a couple of times, and he grew up with people even older than him. He was born in the mid 1800s equivalent. Thon is one letter off of thorn. See where I’m headed? The use of thon/thons was first recorded in the 1850’s. Gender neutrality is not a new concept to him.

If you asked for his pronouns, I feel like he wouldn’t immediately understand. Like, he calls himself I. Me. Sometimes if he’s with someone we. Did you want all of those too? Oh, just the ones you call him./j

Anyways twisted wokeland au where Malleus allows Yuu to make up a name and set of pronouns for him because he refused to introduce himself/j

Silver:

Another guy I never considered. Mayybe also on the aroace spectrum? I think he’d be happy in a qpr. I think he’s not the type to question it. He just goes with whatever he feels. I’ve not got much lol.

Sebek Zigvolt:

Demisexual/romantic and he/him pronouns. Again, I’ve not thought much on him. I think it takes him a long, long journey of self-discovery though.

Lilia Vanrouge:

Again, Lilia was born a LONG time ago. He was born in the early to mid 1300s equivalent. He’s seen so much change since then, and he’s been through a lot of character arcs. I think I’m justified in headcanoning him as an unlabelled king. If he likes a girl, awesome. He likes a guy? Cool. I think it’s common to hear him refer to himself in a dead language. Baby girl, he has heard pronouns you could not comprehend.

If you ask his gender or sexuality, you’ll get some vague dad gestures, and a ‘you know what I mean’ nod. You don’t. You won’t.

Book 7 spoilers, but I hope that they keep the mlm implications in for the en translations. They’ll probably pull a Cater and write out the canon bi implications though. Heartbroken.

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Thank you for reading to the end of my ramblings o7 If anyone else makes pride themed posts please feel free to tag me!! I would love to see them!

I really like the subtle ways these things are portrayed in the story. Especially within the world building. We know that is generally societally acceptable for men to wear makeup and dresses in TWST, and there’s canon development of language changing over time in a gender neutral way! (Witches and wizards -> mages. Suck on that, Rowling.)

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@tixdixl @cyanide-latte @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs

@emiensr

[starrz-ombie]

fav books?

ooh i like this question a lot. i won’t lie i mostly if not exclusively read lgbtq+ stories, especially leaning towards mlm couple since i myself am gay (and trans but it’s harder to find books w transmasc characters, though it makes me so happy to find them!!) soo a list of faves..

- the first to die at the end & they both die at the end - adam silvera (both so good, both left me sobbing)

- radio silence - alice oseman (one of the few books i’ve reread and god it’s so great. i used to be a huge heartstopper fan a couple years back and aled was my favorite character, so seeing a book based mostly around him made me so happy. not to mention him being demisexual, which probably played a part into me realized that i was)

- i wish you all the best - mason deaver (can’t remember all the details since i read it a whiiiile ago and for some reason it always mixes up with radio silence in my head? but im pretty sure i liked it a lot. one warning though, the mc’s parents don’t take them coming out as nonbinary* well at all and kick them out, so warning in case that’s something you aren’t in the headspace to read rn!!)

*im pretty sure they come out as nb but once again, i read this book possibly up to two years ago and my memory isn’t that great

- meet cute diary - emery lee (it’s not like omg the best most inspirational piece of literature i’ve ever read, but it is pretty good from what i remember. one thing though, unless i somehow misread it the main character (trans man) goes swimming in a chest binder at one point?? which is obviously something you should not do!! that left a weird taste in my mouth but besides that it’s good from what i remember. and i believe there’s a character that uses neopronouns as well which was really cool to see!!)

^^ i also read café con lychee by the same author and i believe it was good? enemies* to lovers which ive always thought im not a big fan of (though i haven’t read almost any) don’t know how good the representation is as far as cultures besides what i know from being hispanic myself (one mc is puerto rican, the other is i believe japanese?) but im not puerto rican either so.. don’t really know 100% but i think i liked the book

- the honeys - ryan la sala (unlike the previous books, not a romance book, but SO SO good. the mc is genderfluid and i believe has a slight romance with another character at one point but it’s in no way the main plot of the book. i think the genre is horror/paranormal which isn’t my usual but it is SO GOOD!! also read reveries by the author and i can’t remember it too well but the author is very talented and im pretty sure i liked it too)

this list is getting really long so for the rest i’ll just give titles, especially since a lot are by the same authors

- in deep waters & so this is ever after & spell bound - F.T. lukens (much more fantasy than any of the others on this list, didn’t think i’d be a huge fantasy fan but the storyline, pairings and writing is incredible and makes it worth it. can’t remember for the first two but i believe at least spell bound uses multiple character pov’s which i LOOOVE so a huge plus for me (im pretty sure the others do too, just not entirely sure)

- cemetery boys & the sunbearer trials (hispanic rep!! also holy shit just found out sunbearer trials sequel is out now omg i’m gonna have to read it soon)

there’s probably more that i’ll add eventually but as of now i can’t remember. tysm for the ask(s) once again!!

[h0wv3ry]

okay i love the post you made about being alive from company, and bobbie’s yearning for connection, not just romantic but platonic too

that shit SLAPPED

however. i yearn to i feel like i need to talk about the implications of they/them pronoun using, bisexual bobbie. maybe that wasn’t your intention, and that is okay, but i now have many feelings!!!

oh my GOD! Hi thank you so much!! I never knew I could get asks??? (I don’t know how tumblr works). I really appreciate it and I love going in-depth about the Company so I will talk about its queerness of it.  And to answer your question, yes it was lowkey my intention of they/them bi Bobbie….kind of…

First off, here is the link to the post I originally made because it will make its way back at the end of the post.

 I do warn you, I have not watched or listened to Company in a while so I might miss lyrics and dialogue that help my points (and if you think of any, please let me know!). I will probably rewatch the 2006 pro shot (which is personally my favorite version of Company) soon so you might get a sequel to this post about it. Also, THESE ARE ALL MY OWN THOUGHTS AND INTERPRETATION. This is just me examining the show through my eyes and everyone sees things differently.

 First off, the bi part: I believe it has been mentioned before the theory that Bobbie is somewhat queer. It’s been a theory for years. In the recent revival of Company, there was a workshop version where Bobbie was bi.

It says in the article they didn’t make her bi because the proposal scene didn’t work but they could have easily done it in multiple other scenes.…. Bobbie could have been easily bi by having one or two of her “love interests” not be men instead of keeping them as all men. As much as the revival likes to think they are inclusive with gender and discussion of gender and sexuality, it’s a lowkey very binary, and hetero way of thinking. Then again, I haven’t seen the revival (and can’t because it’s closing) so I don’t know the full discussion of what they do, but they only have one gay couple when they could have done more and normalized that queer couples go through the similar problems as straight couples do. And I’m not saying that it is wrong to have storylines that are centered on being queer (like for example, the revival has talked about how a gay character talking about marriage as a gay man) but if that is all queer people are given, then that’s all people see.   Like sometimes, queer people can just you know,,,, exist. The revival changes multiple characters’ genders so they could have easily done it where they could have been multiple queer characters just existing and kept the important change of “Not Getting Married”.

That also goes into another concept with Company that I used in my original post: They/Them Bobbie. So, one of the reasons I did use they/them pronouns for Bobbie in that post is because I didn't want to exclude other Bobbies from other productions and that post is talking about ALL PRODUCTIONS OF COMPANY. If I used she/her pronouns, it would seem like I'm only be referring to the recent revival and not the other productions. If I used he/him pronouns, it would seem like I'm only referencing Bobbie from any other production that isn't the revival. And as much as it seems like this post is going off about the revival, it is a groundbreaking verison of the show.

Secondly, personally, I feel like Company is a show where I feel like Bobbie can be played by anyone and still connect to anyone of any gender. It’s a universal theme of feeling to be wanted and finding your place in the world. As we established earlier, the recent revival changes multiple characters' genders.

It’s been brought up in the musical community more about the inclusion of trans actors in their productions. And obviously, the characters they play don’t have to be trans and just allow for them to just act. For example, there is a nonbinary Tiktok creator I follow who recently was in a production of Sweeney Todd and they understudied Toby and also Johanna. So like, those characters aren’t instantly trans/nonbinary but it allows for a trans actor to do their job just like anyone else. But yes, it would be also awesome that we have a trans character played by a trans actor. That would mean that we aren’t just looking at the gender spectrum in a binary sense and including the in-between and outside too.

Before I get into nonbinary trans Bobbie, I want to say pronouns don’t equal gender, and not every nonbinary person uses they/them pronouns. But in this context though, I will be using they/them pronouns for a nonbinary Bobbie. But I just want to let you all know that gender and sexuality are more complex than people say it is (which explains why this whole answer is literally probably 1.4k+ words).

 I feel like Company is a show about the main character trying to find their place in the world. Bobbie is just existing while all their friends are all off doing their own things. And I feel like many trans people connect to that theme of trying to find comfortability with themselves. We live in a world where gender is seen less than what it is. Trying to figure out where you fit as a trans/nonbinary person not just on the spectrum but in the world is tough. And I feel like that goes into Bobbie’s struggle of existing.

Also, even though romantic relationships are not a part of everyone’s life, it is very prominent in the lives of Bobbie and their married friends. Dating as a trans person can be very difficult and I feel like Bobbie trying to find how they feel about that as a trans person would really add to it. And that also works with platonic relationships too! You have to make sure that your friends respect you and your identity.

What other queer aspect that I want to discuss in the context of Company is the aro/ace spectrum. That *lowkey* is what convinced me to write the original post in the first place. I will mention that there is a Youtube video discussing a queer reading of Company and aro/ace viewing of the show. Great video and it is a more in-depth analysis of queerness in Company than this Tumblr post. So please really check it out.

Bobbie doesn’t really see the want to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. For example, when they do have s3x with one of their love interest and tries to get the other person to stay, when the person ends up staying, they regret it. Also, there are times when everyone wants them in a romantic relationship and to be married and Bobbie in one case, literally says to someone, “let’s get married and they will go away”.  I’m sure there are many examples that point to Bobbie being aro, ace or both but this is only what I can think of at the moment. 

One of the big portions of David J Bradley’s video is the focus on the lyric “alone but not alive” and talks about how that is erasure of the aro/ace community which is a very valid point. If you’re looking at that song from Bobbie trying to find a romantic partner than yes, that line is harmful. It alludes to the idea that Bobbie is “not alive” because they have no romantic partner and that people who aren't in romantic relationships are "not alive".

Personally, how I interpret the lyric and “Being Alive” as a song (that I talked about in my original post) is more of a song of Bobbie not just trying to connect with people romantically but also platonically. Bobbie never really opens up about their feelings except through song and at the end of the show when they finally have their breakdown. Other than that, they are really the audience to their friends’ marriages and each scene with a married couple is more about them than Bobbie. Also, the majority of their friends only talk to Bobbie about their romantic relationships, nothing else. Bobbie just wants to connect with ANYONE and form really any connection. So next time you are listening to Being Alive, listen to Bobbie’s wants without a romantic lens. Listen to them wanting to just have people they can connect to, open up to, and care about their thoughts and feelings. I feel like it makes the song/show better and stops the erasure of the aro/ace community.  

I’m sure there is much more evidence to these ideas and themes (which please reblog and add your own ideas too).  I love people’s interpretation of shows, especially Company. Because Company is also a very simple show yet complex with its themes (like every Sondheim show) and because of that, it allows for interpretation of many things.

I’ve actually been trying to write a Company screenplay for a while where I just write the characters as just the characters and just cast them to whoever works the best no matter what gender. Not only that would be more inclusive, but it would also add to the idea that anyone can go through these things.

Thanks for reading this! 

[thoriffix]

Can you rec some media with canon queer characters 😌

ofc!! thisll by no means be an exhaustive list but idk what youre looking for specifically so ill break it into categories

my current favs!! if u follow me u know these already lol

the umbrella academy: netflix show abt dysfunctional superpowered siblings reuniting to stop the apocalypse. canon mlm character (pansexual according to his actor) w mlm romance, canon wlw character (lesbian according to someone on the show dont rmr who) w het romance in s1, wlw romance in s2 - this is one of my absolute fav shows at the minute in general its brilliant

the magnus archives: horror podcast abt the head archivist of an institute researching experiences w the supernatural. protagonist is canonically biromantic asexual, in a mlm relationship in s5, and there is another canon bisexual character, as well as (iirc) a canon wlw couple - yall know ive been so into tma lately its so so good, obviously if you dont like horror its not for you but if you do.. 👀

sanders sides: youtube series abt a gay dude working out his emotional problems via personified aspects of his personality. all the characters are gay cuz thas what thomas is baby! - i was hesitant abt putting this cuz thomas is a person not a character lol but if u haven't seen sasi i recommend it its like free therapy but theres songs sometimes

shows!

julie and the phantoms (netflix remake): musical show abt a teen girl rediscovering music after her mothers death w the help of three ghosts who were in a 90s band. canon gay character w a slow burn romance (not yet canon bfs but s2 lets go) - its very cheesy and the musical segments can drag on a bit but its p good overall

lucifer: detective show abt lucifer abandoning his rule of hell to buy a nightclub and beginning to solve murders w the lapd. lucifer is canonically bi/pan, as is his demon pal mazikeen, but queerness rly isnt a focus of the show its more casual rep - that being said its a good show overall, if a little predictable now n then (s1-3 on amazon prime, 4+5 on netflix)

kipo and the age of wonderbeasts: fantasy cartoon set in a future filled w mutant intelligent animals, kipo finds herself lost and has to get home w the help of her friends. canon gay character as one of the mains, canon nb side character - its a rly good cartoon! lots of fun, excellent soundtrack, and the main characters are all poc which is rly nice to see

the dragon prince: cartoon abt two princes and an elf assassin returning a dragon egg to its mother. canon mlm couple, several canon wlw characters, canon nb character - i havent seen the show myself but ive heard very good things abt it!

i am not okay with this: netflix show abt a teen girl discovering she has superpowers and hating it. protag is canon wlw (i THINK shes a lesbian but i havent watched it in a hot sec), developing wlw relationship - ianowt slaps! sad that s2 got cancelled but s1 is real good its a touch spooky and theres a bit of gore/blood so watch out lol

schitt's creek: sitcom abt a rich family who lose all their money and have to move into the motel of a town they bought as a joke. canon pansexual character and canon gay character w one of the sweetest mlm relationships - a rly good witty show w excellent character development for every character!

good omens: show abt a demon and an angel trying to stop the end of the world. every celestial character in it is nonbinary, + crowley and aziraphale have a nonexplicit (ie no on screen pda lol) romance - good omens is such a good queer show none of the characters care abt gender in the slightest lmao, plus the show in general is fantastic (the book is also very good)

movies!

the old guard: a group of immortals fight an organisation that wants to capitalise off their immortality. canon mlm couple - another one i havent seen yet (i will!) but apparently very good

it chapter 2: horror sequel to It, w the main characters returning to derry to defeat pennywise for good. canon gay character in unrequited love - i only say chapter 2 because his queerness isnt referenced at all in the first film, again its big horror and theres no gay romance just gay tragedy but its a good film

love, simon: romcom about a closeted gay teen falling in love w someone over emails. do i even need to state the rep? - honestly if u haven't seen love simon yet what are you even DOING its so good proper fluffy queer romcom, the book (simon vs the homosapiens agenda) is also really good!! so is the sequel (leah on the offbeat) where the protag is a bi girl + it focuses on a wlw romance

the way he looks: brazilian coming of age film abt a blind teen boy falling for the new kid at his school. canon mlm relationship - this doesnt seem to be on (british) netflix anymore so idk where youd find it with subtitles but i rmr liking it a lot!

games!

night in the woods: 2d platformer abt a young woman (well. cat) dropping out of college and coming home to live w her parents + discovering spooky happenings in her hometown. canon mlm couple and i believe the protag is canonically bi? - i will recommend nitw to literally anyone who will listen its one of my all time favourite games, deals w a lot of mental health issues and its absolutely gorgeous w a brilliant soundtrack and rly good dialogue thats witty and serious and realistic (its on steam + switch for sure dk abt other platforms, abt 15 quid i think?)

tell me why: adventure game abt twins returning to their childhood home + findin Secrets. canon trans male character - i havent got around to buying + playing this yet but it looks really good! (its in three chapters + on steam, not sure on price)

other media!

the art of being normal: slice of life novel abt a young trans girl discovering herself. main characters are a trans man and a trans woman. - a good novel! trigger warning for transphobic actions including descriptions of a transphobic attack on the guy, and its certainly not without its faults otherwise, but i thought it was pretty good

the adventure zone: dungeons and dragons podcast by the mcelroy brothers. idk specifics but theres a lot of canon queer characters in it! - i havent listened to taz yet but i know a lot abt it, inc that its good and funny and has plenty of queer rep

theres several more i like that arent listed here but to keep this from getting just ridiculously long ill leave it there :] tried to get a range of genres and medias, hopefully theres something for you in there!

[violexides]

okay, here is the hot take i will delete in five minutes.

... 

If you genuinely believe that “trans representation”, “LGBTQ+ representation”, or any kind of representation at all actually, can only be done with softening characters and making them all uwu babies to play around with for your entertainment, instead of allowing them to be, I don’t know, actual people, I think the next step would be to consider what representation actually means, and why so many people seem to find it necessary to make every lesbian soft and a ‘baby’; every gay male petite and anxious; every trans women sweet but secretly deceiving (do not get me started on how much trans women get fucked over); every nonbinary individual completely androgynous, the list goes on.

If this is the only fucking representation we can get (speaking as a demigirl polyamorous pansexual here), then what’s the fucking point. I don’t want to read another goddamn story about a WLW couple where one of them is happy-go-lucky, with no personality, and (SECRETELY TRANS. GEND. ER. but don’t tell anyone omg we gotta save it for the PLOT TWIST <333 Ha. Ha. As if being trans is your sensationalization plot twist. As if trans people are just mythological people. Hey, I wonder why it was so hard for me to come out to people? Hm. Must be unrelated. /s) and the other has no other personality trait other than “I have clinical anxiety and depression and do I have any other characteristics no thanks for asking”. Do you think that makes me proud as a person attracted to women? Fuck no.

Show me a goddamn WLW relationship where shit doesn’t work out. Show me a goddamn female character that can actually be abrasive.

Hi. This isn’t fucking Narnia. I’m Sunflower, I use she/they pronouns, I want to date multiple people of any gender, albeit a lean towards females, and if you expect me to keep fucking identifying with these caricatures, please re-evaluate what your representation means. 

Perhaps I want to date a girl. Perhaps I am mentally ill. Perhaps I am soft spoken in real life.

I will not read another fucking story about this person-- with no fucking personality, mind you-- who manages to get all her problems fixed just by being this unrealistic sweetheart-- and don’t mind all the bullshit they do they don’t take accountability for! 

You want a genuine fucking story where an LGBTQ+ character takes responsibility for their actions? Go fuck yourself. You must be looking for the wrong representation. Hey, maybe tumblr user fieldsofsunflowers8 isn’t really LGBTQ+ after all! Let’s all go kill her, I hear she lives on [REDACTED] street. 

Maybe in the finale we can finally figure out what’s in her pants. 

That’s all. I’m fucking tired. This is longer than I thought. I’m probably about to get blocked over a couple of typoes. I don’t fucking care.

Back to writing my fanfic where a mentally ill lesbian does shitty things and doesn’t immediately get absolved from guilt. See ya.

Edit one: I have no qualms with a character being nice, for the record. That’s cool. Surprisingly, I know people who are nice. I also know people who aren’t absolute sweethearts either. Both are complex pools of people. And I like those people all the same. Also, no problems with people writing stories where a character is mentally ill. From my personal standpoint, I think it’s unrealistic to make a character’s mental illness some kind of brownie point for “oh look at how sweet they are”. I don’t speak for everyone. But, for an example here. Anxiety isn’t pretty. Anxiety doesn’t make me soft. Anxiety has never, ever, ever made me a kinder person. Make that what you will. 

[princesscas]

Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be. 

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this. 

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh?  IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this: 

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess. 

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist. 

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies) 

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be. 

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people. 

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media. 

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad) 

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.   

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s. 

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true. 

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm) 

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom) 

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote: 

[stupidstubbornbravebitchoftarth]

One of the most toxic things about the way we talk about being queer on the internet and especially on Tumblr imo is things that go into the direction of "are you even gay/bi/pan/aro/trans/nonbinary/gender fluid (you name it), if you don't do/like/wear/watch/listen to/follow/hate/love/like/ship/headcanon xyz thing" and I know, I fucking know, that oftentimes that is meant as a meme or a joke.

However it can be so damaging for a lot of young queer people and also people who are questioning to stumble across this stuff on the internet, especially if they like me don't really have queer networks in real life (yet) because you kind of rely on the internet to be that safe, informative space you crave and especially if you are young, you are impressionable and vulnerable, shitty takes like that can really fuck with you.

Like when I was like fourteen, just kind of coming to terms with the fact that I am very much not straight, I tried to convince myself for the better half of that year that I wasn't actually a lesbian because I had gotten into an argument with another queer person, they weren't much older than me, like 16 at the time I believe but for me kind of a role model because on their fan account for whatever show I was obsessed with then, they were very open about being a lesbian and I was looking up to them for the lack of real life role models.

One time however they posted that only the straights™ ship the canon straight couple of that show I was watching. Being impressionable and confused young me I commented something along the lines of "But I am a lesbian and I actually like that couple, they are cute" and they commented back "Well are you sure, how can you not see that character A should obviously end up with Character C? (the popular queer headcanon ship in that fandom)".

Obviously, almost 6 years later, looking back I know how fucking dumb that whole exchange was, but everytime I come across posts of that kind, it reminds me how much that can fuck with your sense of self, especially if it comes out of the community that is supposed to offer you a safe space.

Like, there is just no checkboxes anyone has to tick before they are "allowed" to say they are lesbian or any other identity of the LGBTQ+ community. There is no headcanon or ship or character interpretation or whatever other thing that have you to like or agree with or disagree with before you are allowed to claim who you are, and if you ever made someone feel like they had to that, you are kind of a dick.

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (5)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.3k (this chapter), 16.8k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking at."

"Oh, for the love of - you're holding it upside down, Christopher, that's why you -"

"How is this my fault? Why don't you have your screen rotation enabled? ...I still don't know what the fuck this is a picture of."

"You are so - Phil. Hey, Phil? Hello?"

Long fingers snap in front of Phil's nose and he startles a bit, almost upending his hot chocolate all over the table. He gives PJ a reproachful sort of look, embarrassed about being caught zoning out.

"Hi, what," says Phil.

PJ glowers at him. "You can get his number later. Pay attention, you lump, this is your job."

"I wasn't," Phil starts to protest, but there's no real use in lying to PJ. He sighs and takes PJ's phone from Chris. "What are we arguing about? You got some photos?"

"Yes," PJ says. In his exasperation, he looks and sounds uncannily like a substitute teacher dealing with a group of kids that are being difficult on purpose. It's a little funny, but - PJ drove them here. Phil isn't going to risk getting abandoned for laughing at him.

Phil squints at the screen. He tilts his head to the side. He tilts the phone to the other side.

"I don't know what I'm looking at," he admits. "It just looks like graffiti to me, Peej, and that's not exactly unusual."

"Graffiti of what?" PJ presses.

"Geometry homework?"

Before PJ can scold him for not taking this seriously enough, Phil gets distracted by Winnie's sudden cackle. His head turns in the direction of the noise like a dog hearing a whistle, and PJ kicks him.

"I swear," PJ starts.

"Sorry," Phil says quickly, "it's just that - that's the person who sent us the essay on this place."

He doesn't expect subtlety from his friends, because he knows better, but he does have some hope in the back of his mind that immediately gets dashed when Chris claps his hands together excitedly, Sophie almost leans right off her chair trying to get a look at Winnie, and PJ stands up.

"What are you doing?" Sophie asks, but PJ is already taking his phone out of Phil's hand and walking to the counter.

Phil buries his face in his hands and watches through his fingers as PJ slides his phone over the counter and says, "Hey, uh - it’s Dan, right? Will you take a look at this for me?"

Winnie glances up from where they're wiping down the espresso machine and makes eye contact with Phil before they look at PJ. They smile, a little bemused, and pick up PJ's offered phone. They tilt it a couple of different angles with a frown. Phil can't help but notice how their hand covers the large phone with ease.

"See, Peej," Chris calls over. Their table isn’t far enough from the counter to justify the way he practically shouts it, but Phil has already given up on looking normal in front of Winnie. "None of us know what the bloody hell it is, just tell us!"

"They look like," Winnie says slowly, "sigils."

"That's exactly what they are," says PJ. He shoots a triumphant sort of look over his shoulder. Phil rolls his eyes. He doesn't understand why PJ had to make a whole production out of something that he could have texted them when they were still in the house.

With another little smile, Winnie hands PJ's phone back over. "Guessing that was in the Wilkins place?"

"It was," PJ says, sounding a bit distracted all of a sudden. "Sidebar, I really like your nails."

PJ wiggles the fingers on his left hand to show off his own gaudy, bright blue polish, and Winnie's smile widens. They've got such soft cheeks, indented with dimples that Phil wants to poke at.

As if they can hear Phil's thoughts, Winnie's eyes flicker over to him again.

They’re talking to PJ, and the conversation is loud enough for Phil to hear - in theory. The problem, of course, is that he keeps zoning out completely when the soft lighting catches the glitter high on Winnie’s cheeks or they gesture with their big, distracting hands. Phil could honestly not figure out if PJ and Winnie are talking about nail polish or the Wilkins house or some other topic entirely, because he’s too busy watching Winnie laugh.

This is definitely going to be a problem. Winnie isn’t a pretty boy, and Phil knows that, whatever his stupid gay monkey brain says when he looks at them. He can unpack whatever this pull of attraction means when he isn’t, technically, working.

“Why would there be sigils on the attic floor?” Phil asks, more to get his own brain on track than to interrupt whatever’s going on at the counter. He turns to Chris and Sophie, who shrug in eerie unison. “That’s weird, right? Maybe people are just bored and trying to scare the locals.”

“Or people are summoning spooky, scary things,” Chris suggests. He’s grinning wide and wiggling his fingers, so Phil has no idea if he’s being serious. Chris is always like that, riding the edge of sarcasm so far that Phil has known him for two years and yet doesn’t know for sure if the guy believes in ghosts or not.

PJ does. He doesn’t even pretend to be down to earth at the best of times, and listening to weird noises on Phil’s computer always gets him in peak conspiracy form.

“I think the better question is why did we have to leave right away?” Sophie hums, stirring her drink. She’s long since shucked off her jacket and curled up on the chair like she’s at home, firelight reflecting off her eyes and earrings. “Did he recognise them?”

“Bet he just freaked,” says Chris.

“Peej doesn’t freak.”

“Bet he did this time. Bet he went up into the attic and it was all spider-y and creepy and he freaked at the first sign of prior human life.”

“Sigils mean things,” Phil says, pulling out his laptop. “They’re not just random shapes.”

“They do, but they also are.”

Phil’s head jerks up at the sound of Winnie’s voice, suddenly so much closer. Winnie is standing awkwardly beside their table, in the process of taking Chris’ empty mug away, and their cheeks flush a soft rosy colour when they make eye contact with Phil.

“What do you know about them?” Chris asks, leaning forward in clear interest.

It takes a beat for Winnie’s eyes to leave Phil’s. “A bit,” they say.

PJ sets a new drink in front of Chris and ruffles Sophie’s curls as he sits down, and Phil wonders what they look like to a complete outsider. He’ll have to message Winnie later and ask what they think is going on here.

Maybe it’s easier if you don’t know them, actually. Maybe there’s a very simple answer that Phil is unable to see past all the strange noises he’s heard through the thin walls of the Brighton house and the cuddle piles he’s walked in on and the way Chris openly flirts with him at any given opportunity.

Phil doesn’t understand the look that passes between Chris and PJ. That’s nothing new, really, but something about this one unsettles him. He wants to know what they’re thinking, because if it’s something to do with Winnie, it feels like Phil has the right to know.

“Right,” says Chris. He’s got the sort of dubious expression that he usually reserves for when he’s asking if Phil ate the rest of the biscuits.

“What?” Phil asks.

“Nothing,” Chris says convincingly, giving Phil a winning smile. It’s always a little disconcerting to watch Chris pull up and discard personas as easily as if he were changing scarves. Something about it feels different to the way Phil gets when he retreats into himself and puts up his walls, because all Phil is ever trying to do is deflect, deflect, deflect, but Chris is more of an actor, and a good one at that. Phil doesn’t think he’s ever seen a side of Chris that wasn’t intentionally put there.

Sometimes he wonders how well he knows these people that he shares so much of his life with. He wonders how well they know him.

Phil turns back to Winnie to see if anything about the exchange made them uncomfortable, but they’ve gotten sufficiently distracted by Phil’s laptop screen. They snort and give Phil a sideways sort of glance.

“I don’t think that’ll get you very far, mate,” they say.

The Google search in front of Phil simply says ‘what sigils’.

“I wasn’t finished,” Phil huffs. He backspaces the question entirely and taps his fingers on the edge of his keyboard.

“Hi, I’m Sophie,” Sophie says in that soft, soothing voice of hers. She smiles up at Winnie. “The drink is delicious, thank you.”

“Oh, er,” Winnie says, clearly caught off-guard by the unexpected politeness. They bite their lower lip and shift from one foot to the other, still holding an empty mug to their chest. “You’re welcome. Had a lot of practice. You can call me Dan, if you like.”

They look to Phil when they say that, and Phil has to look away before those brown eyes draw him in again.

“Dan,” Phil says, because he can’t help himself. He wants to know how the name feels in his mouth and it’s a little strange, actually, how well it seems to fit there. He gestures across the table before he can start to overthink in public again. “Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum over here are Chris and PJ. And you know my name.”

“You’re Tweedle-Dum,” Chris informs PJ solemnly.

“Hi,” Dan says, giving them an awkward little salute.

“You seem to know more about this than we do,” Sophie says, gesturing at the empty chair at the head of the table. “Care to talk us through it? If you’re not too busy, that is.”

Dan raises their eyebrows and pointedly looks around the quiet, empty coffee shop. Their coworker has her headphones in and looks like she’s in danger of falling asleep against the cash register.

“I think I’ve got some time,” they say, dry, and set the empty mug down as they sit.

--

Twenty minutes later, and Phil is no closer to understanding the symbols scratched into the Wilkins attic floorboards. He learns several other things, like the theory behind chaos magic, the etymology of the word ‘sigil’, and, inexplicably, Dan’s opinion on impressionist art, but he doesn’t follow half of the paths that Dan’s rambling wanders down.

It’s cute to watch, at least. They get so worked up and gesticulate wildly, and it makes Phil wonder if they have any idea what they look like when they do that. He has to hold onto his mug to stop himself from mirroring the gestures.

Phil glances around at his friends to see if anyone is following this ‘explanation.’ Sophie’s got a little crease between her eyebrows and Chris is just looking at Dan, a little slack-jawed, but PJ is nodding along.

“Exactly,” PJ says when Dan pauses to take a breath.

“Fucking what?” Chris asks. Phil is unreasonably glad that he doesn’t have to be the one to say something. He’s just as lost as Chris is. “Sorry, but what the fuck? What did any of that even mean? Did I have a stroke halfway through that?”

Dan looks sheepish, the rosy patch on their cheek deepening and spreading until their whole face is pink. Phil finds himself fascinated by it, but he really doesn’t want Dan to feel like they’re being annoying or anything when they’re just being kind of helpful and very cute. Their teeth dig into their lower lip again, and Phil idly wonders if Dan has ever heard of chapstick. The shiny lip product they’re wearing doesn’t seem to be helping with the dryness the way Phil would have expected it to.

“Sorry,” they say, suddenly much quieter. They link their fingers together like they’re stopping themself from talking with them again. “So, it’s like… you can’t really look up what these mean, because that’s not how sigils work. They’re not runes or, like, Gallifreyan, there’s no dictionary out there telling you what every sigil ever means. The person who creates them is the one who makes them up, like…”

They pull a small notebook out of their apron and Phil hands over a pen from his bag without thinking twice. Dan gives him a small smile, still seeming embarrassed now that they’ve been confronted with Chris’ blunt confusion.

The notebook is full of small doodles and indecipherable bullet points when Dan flips through it to find an empty page. Phil is surprised by how much he wants to look closer, but he’s got this pull in his stomach that he’s pretty sure has been there since he first heard Dan laugh. He wants to know Dan better. It’s been a long time since he wanted to know anyone at all, because, well, Phil and new people are very un-mixy things.

Phil and his friends all lean closer to watch as Dan taps the pen against the page thoughtfully. “Okay,” they say, “one of you, tell me something you want in your own life.”

“I want a dog,” Sophie says immediately.

“Me too,” Dan grins, their dimples on full display. “What kind of dog?”

“Small. Definitely fluffy. I don’t really mind about different breeds or anything.”

“Okay,” says Dan. They write SOPHIE HAS A SMALL FLUFFY DOG THAT SHE LOVES at the top of the page in block letters. “You don’t say you want something, you say you have it already. I’m guessing you guys have heard about speaking things into existence? It’s kind of like that.”

This whole system is foreign to Phil, but having a visual is helping a lot. “How does that become what PJ found in the attic?” Phil asks, curious.

“First, you take out the vowels,” PJ is the one to say. Dan gives PJ a bright smile that has Phil feeling a pang of something he doesn’t have a name for. “Then all the double letters. It breaks the sentence down into just a few consonants, right? That way you can use them as a kind of base, I think.”

“That’s exactly right,” says Dan. “At least, as far as I know? Like, I don’t know every type of sigil and method of creating them that’s ever existed or anything, I just get lost in Wikipedia sometimes.”

Underneath the first sentence, they write SPH HS SMLL FLFFY DG THT SH LVS, and then S P H M L F Y D G T V under that. The breakdown is a lot easier for Phil to follow than just listening to Dan ramble, as long as he doesn’t get too distracted by Dan’s long fingers around the pen.

“‘Y’ is a vowel,” says Chris.

Dan shrugs. “This is just an example, anyway. So then you’re supposed to make the sigil out of the base letters, like -”

They sketch out a couple of messy attempts, their tongue poking between their teeth in concentration, and Phil is fascinated by watching the letters get more and more abstract until they resemble something like a single image.

It doesn’t look exactly like the ones on the floorboards, but Phil thinks that’s probably some combination of artistic liberty and individual thought patterns on how letters can fit together into a single symbol. PJ holds his hand out for the pen and draws his own take on the same sigil, and the rounded preciseness of his lettering next to Dan’s spiky, symmetrical finished product is really interesting to look at.

“Then you’re supposed to forget it and activate it,” PJ informs the table. “Although that order doesn’t make much sense to me.”

“That’s really cool,” Sophie says softly, reaching out to press her fingers against PJ’s sigil.

“It is cool,” Dan agrees. “But that’s what I mean - they are random, in a way. You’re never going to be able to look at those sigils and, like, reverse-engineer them until they have a meaning.”

“Which is exactly why I needed to get out of there,” PJ says, more triumphantly than Phil thinks he has any right to. Yeah, this is interesting and everything, but Phil doesn’t think it proves anything at all. “Because who knows what someone summoned into that place!”

Dan snorts. They look up at PJ through those long, dark eyelashes and give him such a skeptical look that Phil has to hold back laughter. “Nobody summoned anything, mate,” they say. “This is a load of rubbish, same as any other type of ‘magic’. I just think it’s fun to read about when I can’t sleep.”

The look of absolute betrayal on PJ’s face sends Phil over the edge, and he’s laughing before he can stop himself.

“Okay, okay,” Phil says between giggles. “This isn’t a debate forum. You two can argue about this later. So we kind of know what the symbols are but also we don’t, and they’re more or less a dead lead. What I am hearing is that PJ did, in fact, get freaked.”

“Ha!” Chris crows. He sticks his palm out towards Sophie, leaning into PJ’s personal space to do so. “Pay up, Newts.”

“I didn’t make a bet. You did.”

“Still! I won!”

PJ smacks at Chris’ hand and scowls around the table. “I didn’t freak. I don’t freak. I just think we should be on alert in a place that is covered in creepy sigils that could do anything at all to us and our environment.”

“There’s nothing they could do,” Dan says, seemingly unable to help themself. “They’re doodles.”

“We shouldn’t be there without some kind of protection,” PJ insists.

“What d’you suggest?” Phil hums, already typing up some notes for future Phil to look at later. He knows he’ll forget something core if he doesn’t do it now. “Holy water? I don’t know any priests.”

He’s teasing, just a little bit, because PJ’s steadfast determination to live on a planet where impossible things happen every day is very funny.

“No, that’s for demons,” Chris pipes up, cheerful and half-sarcastic as always. “These are witches!”

“You’re the demons,” PJ says flatly.

Phil reaches across the table and pats PJ’s hand without looking away from his screen. “If it’ll make you feel better, you can Sharpie some protection sigils on us before we go in next time. I need to see the attic for myself, but I definitely got a weird vibe just being in that place.”

“Dan,” the girl behind the counter calls over. She’s long given up on pretending to work at all, and has been watching something on her phone the entire time that Dan’s been talking to them, but Dan still startles like they’ve been caught out doing something they shouldn’t. “Sorry, but it’s quarter to. We gotta start closing up.”

“Right, yeah,” Dan says, sounding a little flustered. They stand up and start collecting all the empty mugs on the table. When they reach Phil’s mostly-full hot chocolate, they raise an eyebrow.

“I don’t really like hot chocolate,” Phil admits. He gives Dan a little grin. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow and try the coffee?”

He can only imagine what his friends’ expressions look like right now. He doesn’t bother checking, even when Dan’s pretty eyes flick over to them momentarily.

“Okay,” says Dan. Their shiny, chapped lips stretch into a wide smile. “I won’t be working, actually, but… I can stop by if you guys - I dunno. Want another set of eyes? Ones that don’t jump immediately to ghosts and witches, perhaps?”

“Sure,” Phil agrees before his friends can give their input on the matter. “I’ll message you.”

Dan ducks their head in a surprisingly shy gesture for a person who takes up so much physical space. Their eyelids glitter like their cheeks, their nails, their lovely eyes, and Phil might be a little screwed, here.

[direquail]

An NB reading of Grace in Terminator: Dark Fate

Disclaimer:

Before I start, just want to get this out here: I’m in no way insisting that Grace *has* to be non-binary, that we’re *supposed* to read her as non-binary, or that that’s in any way what she’s “meant to be”. This is just some stuff I’ve noticed that, as someone who sits on the genderqueer/non-binary/transmasc side of things, really resonated with me. Again--read her as entirely woman-identified if that’s what you want to do or feels right to you. I am ecstatic that lesbians and wlw-identified folks have someone that they feel represented in, too. I wish I’d had more characters like her when I was growing up and felt so out of place because of my gender non-conformity. 


But I, for one, would love a non-binary or even trans reading of Grace.

So what I’d like to do instead is just lay out a couple ways someone who is NB-identified *might* connect with Grace as a nonbinary character. Starting with the obvious.

Androgyny Now, I do want to be clear that I know that gender presentation =\= gender identity. And again, obviously, people will latch onto things that they relate to in characters, and I really do believe that there’s no “one right way” to read a character. The character of Grace isn’t a real person; she’s part of a story, told by people, who had something specific to say, and her character reflects that. But from the perspective of the people who watch her, who internalize and connect with her character, there can be points of connection that have nothing to do with the author’s/creator’s intent, and so, Grace-the-character can be many things to many people. The only real way to know how a person IDs is to ask them. That’s it, that’s all. You can’t assume. But also, sometimes, people do “ping” a certain way. They give off a sort of “energy”, and for me, Grace’s energy isn’t the sort of “diaphanous femininity” that even visibly-gender-nonconforming AFAB characters are often framed to exude. Grace’s energy isn’t masculine, either. Her mannerisms don’t seem intended to read that way; rather, they seem intended to read as soldier. I’m not very skilled at breaking down movements, especially when it comes to how actors move and what it all means. It’s totally possible that a lot of what’s unique about how Grace moves is because Mackenzie Davis is, self-admittedly, not the most athletically-inclined person. Grace is long-limbed and rangy and sometimes very stiff/poised, but never stiff through the hips like a Straight Dude(TM), or heavy through the shoulders like a musclebound meathead. She takes up space, too; she’s taller than Dani and Sarah both, and the only recurring characters who are “bigger” than her throughout most of the film are Carl and the Rev-9.

To be clear: Women can be tall, and rangy, and androgynous, and take up space, and that doesn’t make them less women--unless they don’t identify that way. My point with all of the above is just observing that Grace doesn’t move like a “male action hero”—but she also doesn’t seem over-the-top feminine in the way that mainstream-y media will “compensate” for perceived unfemininity, and that’s kind of wonderful. Her stature, her physique, all of that, seem to be chosen and calibrated towards an end goal that isn’t gendered: Combat, efficacy as a warrior. Whether you want to read her as a woman or as nonbinary is largely going to be about your personal preference. This also has the effect of giving the impression that Grace is absolutely unselfconscious about her body and how it looks—and she has no reason to be, not because she looks good or bad, but because what she can do with her body is just so vastly more important, and because she’s so willing to put her body and everything it can do on the line in order to fulfill her mission (and protect Dani). If Grace has a gender, it’d be “Protector” or “Warrior”. And in a way, what makes Grace so appealing to female-identified lesbians is the same thing that makes her appealing to NB people—Her character was explicitly designed not to cater to “the male gaze”, and therefore, she also exists outside the typical gendered confines reserved for “female characters” in media. The emphasis is just slightly different: Instead of a different way of being female, NB!Grace has little to no use for those categories at all. Again, it’s all in how you want to read her. Grace comes from a future where survival and fighting take first priority, and you could project the same tired “Gender isn’t a ~problem~ in the future/after the world ends” approach that a lot of cis and hetero men take to sci-fi--but also, why? It’s tired. Give me a Grace who is preoccupied with survival, yes, who maybe doesn’t have time to think too much about this gender shit--but also, a Grace who finds that this “androgyny” (although she might not call it that) suits her, who takes to this way of moving and being in the world, this way of using her body, and identifies more with that than with being a “man” or a “woman”. 


(Sidenote: as someone who took a fair amount of Queer Studies classes, it does irk me a bit that discussions of mainstream-y speculative media seem permanently suspended between this sort of “genderblind” futurism where “identities” just don’t exist because they’re apparently not needed anymore, or copy-pasting our contemporary discourses about identity into a future that is materially very different than ours. The point of these identities is, in part, to describe our experiences, the good as well as the bad, and those experiences of gender and sexuality don’t exist in a vacuum. So, the words we use will necessarily change to accommodate that—especially in the post-apocalypse. BUT, everything that comes after us will also bear the stamp of what came before it; it’s just a matter of what the creator means to emphasize.) Augments & Body Mods This is a little dicey, because there’s some clear tension in the movie between the idea of robots = inhuman/unfeeling = bad, and humans = good/feeling. And in that light, it’s potentially problematic to (even incidentally) imply that nonbinary/gender-nonconforming = not human.

But I’d like to point out that the film does deliberately challenge any neat separation of “human” and “machine” with Carl’s evolution as a person. 
And based on what I’ve read from James Cameron and Tim Miller interviews, there is some “blurring” intended between human and machine in the franchise.

In fact, Carl and Grace are foils for each other, somewhat, in the sense that they’re on opposite ends of a spectrum where human and machine become blurred, and I love that. As a genderqueer person with a very fluid experience, it appeals to me on a deep level because you could spend literally forever breaking down where does one “gender” end and another begin--emotionally, socially, spiritually, and physically.  


So the fact that there’s (1) no hard binary between human and machine (it’s explicitly subverted), and (2) we’re given multiple points of inflection, especially if you count Sarah and the Rev-9--alleviates a lot of the tension I’d feel otherwise in mentioning this. But I don’t think this is something that should be allegorical or a direct comparison; I think that it operates best on a metaphorical or theoretical level. 


And just, it’s the whole vaguely-cyberpunk idea of modifying your own body, not in a mass-produced or manufactured sense, but in this organic and highly individual sense, born out of contingency and necessity, that makes Grace’s Augments so meaningful. It’s one of the things that makes her read as human, too, because it feels more in line with our tendency to stick ink, steel, bone, what have you, through our skins whenever we get the chance--as opposed to some kind of symbolic dehumanization by “becoming a machine”.

Grace routinely refuses to categorize herself in anything other than the most general terms, or explain the details of her Augments, and she seems very protective of them. Rather than seeming ashamed, this refusal reads a lot like the popular queer identity explanation “not gay as in happy, but queer as in “fuck you’”. Her Augments are part of her, and part of her humanity; she volunteered for them, she owns them, and is even protective of them, viewing CBP’s invasive examination of her Augments as a kind of violation of her bodily autonomy. They’re clearly complicated for her, but they’re anything but depersonalized.

And going even further, the reason why she volunteered for them is so that she can defend humanity--and also someone she loves (Dani). They’re an extension of her sense of family, loyalty, love, and willingness to sacrifice.

And I don’t know for sure, but I imagine that Grace is basically one-of-a-kind, even among other Augments, if only because those Augmentations seem to be performed with the tech that’s on hand--salvaged Legion tech, by the sound of it, at least to start with. So the outcome depends on the parts available, the complexity and maturity of the Augmentation technology and process, and the skill & experience of the surgeons, all of which would vary over time. 


And honestly? If that doesn’t qualify as “beyond the binary”, I don’t know what does.

Some other general observations:

- Grace’s short hair is a constant throughout the post-Judgement Day scenes. As someone who started wearing their hair short as a preteen and hasn’t had hair to my shoulders since age 12, that does seem significant.

- Grace only introduces herself by name after Diego shouts “HEY LADY” in the factory before dropping an engine block on the Rev-9. Granted, most women don’t like to be addressed as “HEY LADY”, either, but it stood out to me, especially because she refused to give her name only a couple of minutes before that. Either way you read it, the line feels like it expresses some level of discomfort with or objection to that gendered statement. Maybe she finds that particular reference annoying or even offensive, but also, maybe she doesn’t really identify as a woman. She’s just... Grace.

- there were multiple times I mistook the back of her tank top for the back of a binder, even though she clearly was not binding.

- she constantly steals mens’ clothes--partly because she’s too tall for a lot of womens’ clothes around her, partly out of utility (like at the factory and CBP, where a lot of the guards are men). But also, it pleases the genderfucking queer in me quite a bit. And, I should note, when she had the option to take a female guard’s clothes at the CBP facility... she didn’t.

But ultimately, when I look at Grace, I see someone whose gender is “Warrior” or “Soldier”. And it’s so wonderful to see that so purely represented on a character we’re meant to perceive as female. So, please believe me when I say I don’t want to “take away” what Grace means for other people. 
And, for the record, I do mostly default to using she/her pronouns for Grace, because that’s how she’s canonically referred to. But just for fun--try this on for size: Using “they/them” pronouns for Grace. They (Grace) came back in time to protect Dani. It rolls off the tongue, right? It feels nice. Let’s re-try a couple of sentences from above: 


- “multiple times I mistook the back of their tank top for the back of a binder, even though they clearly weren’t binding” 


- “Grace’s Augments are about their ability to be a soldier. They were Augmented in order to hunt Terminators... Everything else is secondary to that, and their mission to protect Dani”

- “Grace only introduces themself by name after Diego shouts “HEY LADY” in the factory before dropping an engine block on the Rev-9 ... Maybe they find that particular reference annoying or even offensive, but also, maybe they don’t really identify as a woman. They’re just... Grace.”

And finally: 


Can you imagine the poor sod who tried to make fun of Grace for having a “girly” name? lmao rip

[squidwithelbows]

hey there! if you make the list for wlw books, I would appreciate it. I'd just like to read some good ones that feature well written wlw and not just in the background

I’ve got you! I made a rec list of lgbt books a while back but I knew as I was writing it that not nearly enough were primarily about women.. So here’s a lgbt book rec list, wlw edition! Obvi, this list is FAR from complete but in case you’re like me and you’re struggling to find any books about wlw that you might actually like, I’ve got a few suggestions.

sci fi / fantasy:

Six of Crows and King of Scars (wlw and mlm) – I’ve recommended this before but I’ll keep doing it again and again until the day I die because SoC is my all time favorite YA novel. And the bi woman from SoC is a main character again in King of Scars!!

Not Your Sidekick (wlw, mlm, trans, ace) – A super fun super quick superhero book in which literally everyone is queer.

The Lesson (wlw and some bg mlm) – I actually got to read this one a little before its release but trust me it’s PHENOMENAL. It’s got aliens, it’s got social commentary, it’s got mystery, and it’s got wlw. In the meantime Cadwell also wrote Loneliness Is In Your Blood, which is a horror short story with a wlw protagonist.

Ice Massacre (wlw) – Creepy killer lesbian mermaids!

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (wlw and nonbinary) – My friend Janelle described this one as the more inclusive Firefly of her dreams and I think that pretty much sums it up. There isn’t much of a driving plot, but it’s a fun time.

The Expanse series (wlw, mlm, nonbinary) – Full disclosure I watched the tv show of this one and only just started the books but it’s GOOD. It follows a really big cast of characters in a sort of first contact space political thriller in a very casually diverse future. 

Ash (wlw) – Gay Cinderella with creepy fairies!

Soulless (mlm, wlw, nonbinary) – A steampunk series about vampires, werewolves, and ghosts that’s just a lot of fun and has a whole bunch of queer characters. Seriously just assume everyone is bi, especially the protagonist. (Fair warning, she is in a relationship with a man but that doesn’t magically make her not bi)

Circe (wlw and mlm) – I’m gonna say up front that the mc does not end in a relationship with a woman even though there’s a perfect candidate right there, but the book is still very casually queer and bi as hell and honestly just really really good.

Strange the Dreamer (wlw and mlm) – On the list because my two favorite minor characters from the first book got the screen time they deserved in the sequel, and their friendship was the wlw/mlm solidarity I deserved!! The most prominent wlw character is only one of a large cast, but the plot unfolds beautifully and the moral dilemmas that the characters grapple with were WOW.

realistic and/or historical fic:

Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy (wlw, ace, bg mlm) – This one’s a sequel but the whole series is so fun and charming it’s totally worth it. Tbh I had never found a book that so perfectly encapsulates my absolute ideal life until this one. I can’t even begin to describe all the elements I loved about this book without massive spoilers but just pls pls pls read this series! 

Leah on the Offbeat (wlw and mlm) – Another sequel, to Simon vs the Homo Sapien Agenda, but this one focuses on bi ladies. I don’t typically go for realistic teen lit but Becky Albertalli manages to pull it off.

River of Teeth (wlw, mlm, nonbinary) – An alternate history western where feral hippos have taken over the Southern US and the government hires a team to clear them out. It’s a quick read, the cast is wonderfully diverse, and no one blinks an eye at the lgbt characters.

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Through the Ages (wlw, mlm, trans, ace) – A short story anthology set in different time periods and cultures. Imo the cutest wlw story was The Dresser and the Chambermaid, it was a snarky period romance and I am a sucker for all those things.

The Haunting of Hill House (wlw) – The book is very different from the Netflix series, but you might be surprised that the book also has a lesbian character! I couldn’t believe no one had ever mentioned that to me, so consider this my way of paying it forward. One of the powerhouses of horror and furthermore the lesbian doesn’t die y’all!!

graphic novels:

The One Hundred Nights of Hero (wlw) – I LOVED THIS BOOK. It’s a series of stories in the style of the Arabian Nights told by a lesbian couple. They’re so consistently scathing of trash men, it’s really got a streak of dark comedy and mythology that I dig.

Monstress (wlw) – This comic is like art deco meets steampunk meets the Warriors series, but with eldritch gods and set in a matriarchal 1900’s Asia. There are women and wlw everywhere, and it’s unapologetically not European. Very dark, very cool.

The Adventure Zone (wlw, mlm, trans) – Complete as a podcast, ongoing as a series of graphic novels, I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that The Adventure Zone is one of my favorite stories EVER. It’s got a large cast of lgbt characters, secret societies, plot twists, and a constant theme of compassion in the face of hardship. It starts off as a pretty screwball comedy so you may doubt how hard I cried over several plot points later on, but trust me it sneaks up on you. So worth it.

Lumberjanes (wlw and trans) – This one’s got puzzles and monsters and mystery and camping, plus it’s by Noelle Stevenson, wlw queen! In her own words, “assume all characters in my comics are gay unless stated otherwise.”

On a Sunbeam (wlw and nonbinary) – Ngl, I bought this book after I saw the first few pages. The art is stunning. The plot itself is pretty simple and jumps around chronologically following two (literal) star-crossed lovers.

Spinning (wlw) – The same author also wrote a coming of age story about wlw and figure skating. You could say it’s… yuri on ice [laugh track]

Prince and the Dressmaker (wlw and nonbinary) – There’s a point in this book where you’re going to think things are gonna go badly, but they don’t!

Em Carroll’s comics (wlw) – Em Carroll has several books (all of which are BEAUTIFUL, srsly she’s one of my favorite comic writers) and though none of her published books focus on wlw she is a queer author and wrote Anu-Anulan & Yir’s Daughter, which is about wlw and just as gorgeous. Check her out if you love horror or if you love yourself.

[nandalorian]

Since I posted my thoughts about how Roswell has adequately represented queer men on the show and completely shit the bed on their representation of most everything else, I need to address the epically fucked-up treatment of female queerness and the queer female gaze in the context of Isobel and Rosa. This has been bugging me for a few weeks, and the reveal of Noah as the fourth alien pretty much cemented my feelings on the matter. I know there are people who feel the way I do about it, but if there’s another post on the subject I just haven’t seen, please link me. And if you disagree completely about this too, that’s cool. Let’s discuss.

While in my last post I applauded the show on its treatment of Michael’s bisexuality, I still don’t feel great about the introduction of a Michael/Alex/Maria love triangle. It’s one thing for Carina to double down on her defense of love triangles and insist they are not an overused and biphobic trope in popular media--news flash, it is, and in this case it’s also potentially damaging to the one black woman on the show, who will almost certainly bear the brunt of fans’ ire for “stealing Michael away” if they go through with a Maria/Michael relationship. I’m sorry if I don’t take a random straight white woman’s insistence to the contrary as gospel. Saying your formative years were shaped by straight love triangles doesn’t change the fact that it’s an insulting trope to women and an outright damaging one to queers, not even taking into consideration how the two intersect, or further when you consider POC characters, etc. You can’t compare straight relationships with queer ones, in the same way you can’t compare white experiences with nonwhite ones. To insist otherwise denies a whole system of privilege that drastically shapes and influences people’s lived experiences. 

But that isn’t what I want to address, because it’s another thing altogether to come for female sexuality and queerness. If I was willing to maybe give Malex a pass on the good-intentions-written-badly front, this is a hill I’m ready to die on. Isobel’s arc in season 1 of RNM demonstrates a lack of understanding that these are identities equally vulnerable to attack, exploitation, and misrepresentation--maybe even more so--as male queerness. That the outrage about Malex drowns out this other but no less important conversation kind of reaffirms the point I’m trying to make.

More under the cut.

Female sexuality has always struggled to find positive representation in popular media, no matter the time period or culture. Compared to male sexuality, it is not taken seriously, always played against the male gaze, or disregarded altogether because it excludes men. Queer female desire challenges societal structures around male desire and sexuality because it just… doesn’t require men to function and in fact actively rejects them. This is obviously a problem because the patriarchy loves it when men are shown to be extraneous and irrelevant. 

A lot of us know what it is to be invalidated as queer women, socially and sexually. Put your hand up if you’re a woman (in which I include cis and trans women, of course) or nonbinary individual who desires women and has been told, oh, you just haven’t met the right man yet, or oh, you’re just putting on a show for male attention. We have all been there and experienced this kind of erasure to various degrees of aggressiveness. This refrain is especially loud for bisexual women, who suffer erasure and ridicule from queer and straight communities alike, but the fact is, women’s sexuality has always been portrayed as less than or dependent upon that of a man’s. That isn’t to say bisexual men don’t also experience bi erasure. They do, and this is as much a product of homophobia as it is the primacy of the queer male gaze even within queer spaces and contexts. But in this case I’m addressing that of female and nonbinary bi-erasure and biphobia.

Furthermore, the role of queer women in society and popular media has always been underrepresented compared to that of gay men, or seen as more harmless or less significant, groundbreaking, or offensive for a couple of reasons: namely that a lot of people have played down or played off the existence of female sexuality and desire because they doubt its validity to begin with, or it’s “allowed” because it’s desirable to the male gaze. In some ways this has worked in our favour because subversive or queer female behaviour and desire in media have been able to fly beneath the radar, but it’s still a symptom of a greater problem.

I include this preamble because the writers of Roswell New Mexico have stunningly managed to ignore or remain ignorant to this context. The straight women on the show are shown to express their sexuality in upfront or positive ways, even opening up conversations about kink and reversing gender roles, but often in problematic ways too. The show sometimes fails the Bechdel Test or reduces characters, especially WOC like Maria, to having no purpose but to desire male characters and be desired by them, or portrays them as unable to want sex without quickly falling in love the way Maria seemingly has done with Michael. They’ve known each other for over a decade, and yet Maria only catches feelings after they’ve had sex, a night that, supposedly, meant nothing to her but quickly is revealed not to be the case. Interesting.

But beyond even that, my beef is with the whole Isobel-might-be-bisexual-and-in-love-with-Rosa-Ortecho storyline. I was excited about it at first; I couldn’t believe our luck that we had not one, but two bisexual characters on the show, and one of them was a bisexual woman married to a really awesome and seemingly caring South Asian man. But it was not to be, and this to me is ridiculously tone deaf and offensive in light of the fact that she was possessed by a male alien the whole goddamn time.

This tells us two equally disturbing things about the writers’ take on the queer female gaze and queer female sexuality: a) according to them, in this context, it literally doesn’t exist, and b) it is wholly a product of and subject to the male gaze.

From the promo for 1x12 it looks like they are going to delve a little bit into the mindfuck around consent due to Noah effectively brainwashing/tricking Isobel into marrying him, but one aspect of this I’d be surprised if they acknowledge is how he has also robbed Isobel of agency over her own sexuality. Not only has she been in a nonconsensual relationship with Noah this whole time, but he’s stripped her of the ability to discern whether her desires are her own, including the possibility that she is bisexual. As a woman, how can Isobel take her own sexuality seriously/see it as valid when she’s been forced to reconcile with the fact that, until now, it hasn’t been?

And that’s not even scratching the surface of the fact that a man used a woman, against her will and without her knowledge, to kill another woman. All over the simple fact that Rosa didn’t desire him/Isobel by extension. This stupid-as-fuck storyline is literally about weaponizing queer female sexuality in order to do violence against women. 

Just think about that for a second.

To make matters worse, Noah is a South Asian man and represents a community that is already marginalized in white media and society. Brown men have, in white culture, been relegated to two-dimensional stereotypes, rejected as love interests, and often portrayed as villains, and instead of positively developing an Indian character in a multiracial relationship and using that representation for good, he’s been made to violate his wife and use her to kill another woman. My girl @insidious-intent has written a really fantastic post to that end and I’d encourage you to read it. According to Carina, hiring Karan Oberoi to play Noah was colourblind casting. But viewers aren’t naive enough to buy that it’s ever that simple, or it shouldn’t be. I don’t see how you can write a nonwhite character the same as you would a white one and not expect it to have deeper or more damaging implications.

So my point, or at least one of them, is this: the failure of Roswell New Mexico to its queer viewers isn’t just that they’ve desecrated a ship as sacred as Malex or, at best, totally failed to do it justice. Roswell has failed us by invalidating and retconning female sexuality, and if this isn’t something we should all be angry about, straight and queer viewers alike, I don’t know what to tell you. While people are justified in expressing their anger to Carina about Malex, I think it’s also important to acknowledge and protest JUST AS LOUDLY the queer female angle. When you are thinking about how to represent, express, and phrase your disappointment to the production team, remember this goes far deeper than Malex. She has let us all down in ways that have nothing to do with our ship potentially not becoming a reality by the end of this season. She’s let POC viewers down just as resoundingly hard, both distinctly and factoring in the intersectionality of their writing choices.

All writers make mistakes. I want to put that out there. And I also want to put it out there that the issues around queer and POC representation are serious and disappointing, but not insurmountable if the writing team shows a willingness to learn, improve, and listen if the show is greenlit for season 2. But that isn’t what they’re doing. Carina has taken a stand, via Twitter, that they’ve done nothing wrong, and that is a big red flag that the writing team isn’t as woke as it likes to pretend and definitely not interested in listening to criticisms about their politics or how they try to convey them. So are her efforts of trying to silence bisexual viewers with legitimate criticism, or POC viewers doing the same thing. She and the writers would rather praise themselves for their token representation than acknowledge, listen to, and learn from real people expressing real concerns and sharing lived experiences.

[minnuet-archive]

about me!

hey! i'm vio.

that's not my real name (by real name, i don't mean dead name - i mean chosen name that i use in real life), but it doesn't mean i chose it at random. viola (vio) is my online name for a reason.

i chose the name viola because even though it's a girl's name, it's also the name of one of shakespeare's most sexually ambiguous characters to exist. vio, while also being a nickname for viola, is it's own name that comes from the word vita, meaning life.

in fact, i want vio to be my middle name once i legally change my name.

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i've kind of come to terms with my good traits and my not-so-good traits. i've been described as charismatic, kind, intelligent, patient, caring, thoughtful, good at giving advice, and funny. but the downside to being (supposedly) charismatic is that i can be manipulative. i also lie a little more than i should because of my anxiety.

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sexuality and gender wise, i'm not someone you can put into labels. i'm equally okay with he/him and they/them pronouns, so i'm perfectly comfortable with either the label trans ftm or nonbinary.

although i'm TECHNICALLY pansexual, I enjoy the term queer because it makes me feel less self conscious about if i'm more straight than gay (or vice versa) and things like that.

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i'm: - a pisces - a slytherin (although i don't support j.k. rowling herself and i don't love the harry potter series either, knowing my house will probably help you get a feel for who i am) - an enfj/infj (it changes a surprising amount) - an 8 (then a 3, then a 5) in the enneagram - chaotic neutral - a son of loki - a son of either hermes or hades (it's been a long internal debate)

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i love: - hunter x hunter (ハンター×ハンター / hantā hantā) - attack on titan (進撃の巨人 / shingeki no kyojin) - my hero academia (僕のヒーローアカデミア / boku no hīrō akademia) - death note (デスノート / desu nōto) - haikyu!! (ハイキュー!! / haikyū!!) - violet evergarden (ヴァイオレット・エヴァーガーデン / vaioretto evāgāden) - nura: rise of the yokai clan (ぬらりひょんの孫 / nurarihyon no mago / nurarihyon's grandson) - ouran high school host club (桜蘭高校ホスト部 / ōran Kōkō Hosuto Kurabu) - black clover (ブラッククローバー / burakku kurōbā) - yuri!!! on ice (ユーリ!!! on ICE) - westworld - the politician - the haunting of hill house - the good place - good omens - brooklyn nine-nine - on my block - lost in space - many more

i'm a big shipper and it causes me quite a bit of pain considering i mostly ship gay ships and i also mostly watch animes so they'll never happen.

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i used to play basketball and tennis, but now i mainly just use my dad's peloton bike and go on runs. oh, and i also snowboard and surf! i'm pretty good at surfing although i need someone to push me on a wave and i'm getting a lot better at snowboarding (although i'm not GOOD).

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i enjoy cooking too, but don't have enough time or energy for it. i love horror movies and house plants, but i can't take care of them for shit.

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i really like to listen to music!!! it's very hard to describe my musical taste, but my top grneres are modern rock, indie pop, indie, pop, rock, electropop, and dance pop. 

i used to listen to more emo music, but recently i’ve found that it just gets me down, so i try to listen to upbeat/chill music.

my spotify account name is strangecharm if you want to follow me! the playlist currently. has music that rotates as i find my favorite songs, but seventh grade. has all the music i've liked this year! i also really enjoy the playlist chill.

i also like musicals (dear evan hansen, be more chill, heathers, six the musical, and hamilton for the most part), but they're not what i listen to for the most part.

oh! i'm a singer and a pianist! i've always loved singing, but i always hated piano. a while ago, i got significantly better and started playing songs i enjoyed. it gave me this sense of motivation i've never felt when it comes to piano. i've even composed a couple piano pieces at this point!

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another really nerdy thing about me is that i genuinely enjoy philosophy and poetry (particularly from one of my favorites, rumi).

i love: - john green - david levithan - terry pratchett - neil gaiman - tomi adeyemi - rick riordan - jalāl ad-dīn muhammad rūmī (aka rumi; he’s an ancient persian poet, and he’s queer as hell) overall, i don't really read by authors, though. for the most part, when i choose a book, it's because it was recommended to me or is of value to me as an author.

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i'd like to grow up to be an author, but i also want to teach writing so i can share what i know! my (dream) life plan is kind of to go to college in london or, if not, somewhere on the east coast of the united states.

from there, i'd either want to study abroad in japan or get my english abroad permit and teach english in japan.

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i'm re-learning spanish and learning japanese, too! i want to learn them for four main reasons among many: 1) knowing spanish is really helpful in america 2) i can write novels in english, spanish, and japanese! 3) both spanish and japanese are absolutely beautiful languages- way more beautiful than english. 4) i can watch animes and have peace of mind because i won't have to read subtitles that are insanely off from what the voice actors are saying.

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i'm an eclectic witch (although i am particularly drawn to divination and green witchcraft)!

i really love tarot cards! some people think they can tell the future which is okay (i guess), but personally, i just use them to help me recognize themes in my and other people's life/lives from an unbiased perspective and help make things better.

my favorite kind of spells are jar spells and tea spells. if i'm doing spells, they're normally protection spells, self-love spells, or anti-anxiety/depression/bad vibe spells. i don't really believe in trying to use hexes or curses because then you're no better than the person you're cursing.

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i love art, but i'm not very good at it, so for the most part i do abstract art instead of realistic art. abstract art is pretty fun, too!

i'm trying to get better at using proportions and things, though. my favorite method is the loomis method and i love the youtube channel proko.

you can check out my book on wattpad, artistic elixir (i know, cheesy; i thought i was cool and i’m too lazy to rename it), if you want to see some of my art.

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i have a lot of unpopular opinions. some are big and some are small. that's just who i am. my mom's insanely left wing and lgbtq+ herself, but my dad's neither left nor right wing, leaving him hated by both wings. i've become a weird mix where i'm definitely more left wing than right, but i'm also not really either wing.

for example, i think that, if I'm being honest, the amount of labels in LGBTQ+ community has gotten out of hand. i'm not saying that the feelings aren't real. I'm not saying that it's impossible to not want to have sex or feel physical attraction until you get to know someone. but some genders & sexualities sound a lot more like a preference to me. i think that a lot of labels that exist could easily fit into other ones that already did exist. i also feel that you need some kind of dysphoria to be genderqueer and that neopronouns are a bit unnecessary.

basically, the rule of thumb for me is that i don't give a fuck. by saying this, i mean that i both do not give a fuck: 1) in that you can do whatever you want and be whoever you want and don't have to to live by my opinions. i understand and respect that and i’ll love you the same as long as you’re not hurting anyone with your actions. 2) in that i won't tiptoe around you, trying not to hurt you. i will share my opinion, regardless of whether or not it hurts you. i speak my mind; that's how i've always been and always will be.

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i have a pinterest, a wattpad, an archive of our own, a spotify, and, obviously, a tumblr, so just ask me if you want my account on any of them!

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that’s basically all i can think of, but i’ll always answer questions for you guys! just send me an ask or even a pm if you want to ask any other questions, or even just want to talk! i’m always up for making friends!

-vio/viola 

[onlyinraresouls-blog]

LGBTQ & the Wizarding World

Put under a cut cause I’m just rambling and it’s a little long.

Disclaimer: This is about in character/in world LGTBQ+ opinions within the Wizarding World/Harry Potter franchise, not about Rowling's personal feelings on the topic(s) in the real world.  Somehow, it came up for me a few years ago that I was curious about what the wizarding world thought about same-sex couples and things of that nature. It doesn’t take a hard Google to find her replying to someone on Twitter, saying wizards don’t concern themselves with someone’s sexual orientation, it’s all about magic for them, it’s only muggles (and therefor possibly implied, muggleborns) that care 

It also brings up a Pottercast interview, where she has the following exchange: 

MA: We wanna talk about Dumbledore so bad. We know that you've created worldwide intrigue when you said that he is gay. But I wanted to ask you about homosexuality in the Wizarding World in general. Is it a taboo?

JKR: Now, that's something I never thought of. I would think that that would be-- it would be exactly what it is in the Muggle World. But the greatest taboo in the Wizarding World is, well, for some wizards... I mean if we're talking about prejudiced people within the Wizarding World, what they care most about is your blood status. So I think you could be, um, gay, pure-blood, and totally without any kind of criticism from the Lucius Malfoys of the world. I don't think that would be something that would interest him in the slightest. But, you know, I can't answer for all witches and wizards because I think in matters of the heart, it would be directly parallel to our world.

She doesn’t elaborate any more on what she means by “exactly what it is in the Muggle world, whether she means that the muggle world influences it (so as it becomes more accepted in the muggle world, it’s more accepted in the wizarding world), or if she just means there are some people that support it, and some people who hate it. It feels like more the latter, especially as she gives Lucius as an example of not caring. 

I do, however, feel like this isn’t portrayed well in any bit of official Potter storytelling. I think Lucius Malfoy would absolutely care, but for a different reason than a muggle might. Mostly muggles (I.E regular humans) see it as a sin/against their religious beliefs, or just unnatural... while some people defend the idea of it being “unnatural” by saying a same-sex couple can’t create, I think it’s that defence that would actually be the bigger issue in the wizarding world; a lot of pureblood families, such as the Malfoys, want a big, pure lineage. You know what a gay pureblood wouldn’t be able to provide? An heir. So in a way, do I think Lucius would care if Harry (being a half-blood) or someone he doesn’t care about being in a same-sex relationship? No. But if Draco, or Bellatrix, or Regulus was gay/in a same-sex relationship? Yes, I feel like he’d have a negative opinion, unless/until he was informed of a way that they’d still produce a pureblood heir (we, of course, don’t know whether or not artificial insemination or things of that sort are available in the wizarding world.) 

So some purebloods would probably care if it affected their lineage/may judge other families if it affected their lineage -- I don’t imagine the Weasleys, despite being pureblood and a family in the Sacred 28, would care if any of their children were in a same-sex relationship. But say the Weasley’s only had one child, or even just using Bill as an example... say their proper heir was in a same-sex relationship. Then yes, I could see people like Lucius turning their nose up at the fact it would put a damper on their bloodline, just like if they ended up with someone who was half-blood or (le-gasp) muggle-born. 

Not every pureblood family is obsessed with purity and lineage, which I already gave an example of with the Weasleys. So where does that leave the rest of the majority of the wizarding population? 

Muggleborns are pretty simple. You can take her statement of “exactly what it is in the muggle world” a bit more literally. It would be influenced by the world they grew up in. A muggleborn who went to school with Albus Dumbledore would be far less likely to be accepting of his homosexuality, than a muggleborn who went to school with Albus Potter, going on the hypothetical that Albus Potter would be less than heterosexual, of course.  But of course, that doesn’t mean every Muggleborn is homophobic. It varies from family to family, be it 200 years ago, or today. It would be a mix of their family, their environment, yes the times, and also their own personal opinion. All they have to go on at that point is the muggle world.

As for the half-bloods, and the purebloods who don’t take importance in blood status, I assume the second bit of what I said about Muggleborns could be said for them -- it just varies from family to family. As far as we know, there isn’t really “religion” to get in the way, but there is still the idea of it just being “unnatural”, though I think half-bloods would be more likely to have a higher population of homophobes, in comparison to purebloods - they still have muggle family members, who could cause them to have negative feelings about people who aren’t heterosexual, but again, like muggleborns, it depends on a whole lot more than just being muggle or even the time.

I appreciate the idea of Jo wanting to create a world where homophobia isn’t a big thing. but it is a bit too simplistic, and too one-note, which is why my explanation took longer.   I do not take into account the lack of same-sex couples in Potter, as the books were published for children, starting in the 90s, ending in the early 2000s... even now, having LGBTQ+ characters isn’t always exactly encouraged and can be met with backlash, so back then, even if she wanted to (if she’s said anything about ever having any plans of having an LGBTQ+ character besides Dumbledore, I haven’t seen it), I wouldn’t be surprised if her editor or the publishing company shut it down; that part is pure speculation. She may have had no interest in another character, and just didn’t have the inspiration or find it relevant. 

I don’t particularly dismiss Dumbledore being gay not said in the books as meaning it was an “afterthought” or a “way to be inclusive.” I accept the idea that it’s possible, but given who Dumbledore’s character was, I find it to be perfectly valid that it just didn’t come up. Had she said Harry was canonically bi the entire time, then I’d think it was an afterthought or a way to be inclusive, because apart from acknowledging a few male characters as attractive/good looking/handsome (something you can very much do with the same -sex and still be straight), we see no signs of him having any interest in the same sex, and he’s our protagonist, our eyes and ears, for 7 books, over 7 years of Harry’s life.

Other people within the LGBTQ+ world, beyond just same-sex couples (trans, nonbinary, ace/arom/etc), is an entirely different conversation that I can only give headcanons and speculation on, because to my knowledge, she’s never made any public statement about them existing, or the wizarding world’s opinion on them. I can make assumptions that I believe would make sense, but that would be another long rant.  Maybe I’ll save that for another day.

[tumblunni]

Also yeah while im on the subject

I really hate fantasy settings where magic is limited by biological sex. Because usually its used to enforce some sort of stupid gender stereotype that the writer believes is "biologically innate" rather than predjudice, by making up a world where it actually is biologically innate. Or its like "oh but women cant do those jobs" but again, a made up excuse for it to be LITERALLY TRUE. And usually they either dont even touch on the subject of trans and gay people (since it often conflates heterosexuality with gender...) or else it actually does bring it up and just creates a cavalcade of even more everything-ism...

Like i mean i love the game Jade Coccoon and considering it came out in the early 2000s i can understand it being more sexist, and its supossed to be a dark game anyway and a lot of the societal structures in Syrus Village are meant to be wrong and evil even if the characters act like its the way the world should be. The villain of the game is basically the toxic atmosphere of your shitty town and their paranoia of things they don't understand. Tho that means the player kinda has no motivation to finish it cos the main conflict is also saving those same villagers from dying and theyre all fucks. Anyway i'm going offtopic! What i mena is that i dont think it was a particularly sexist example of the inexplicable gender segregated magic trope. But just cos its a fave game of mine im gonna pick it to talk about anyway. Hope i dont sound too negative on it, cos seriously i love it loads!

Ok so to use Jade Cocoon as an example, here its a thing that only men can be cocoon masters and only women can be nagi. Tho it also gets a bit complicated because nagi is also an ethnicity as well? Its kinda like being romani, they're a race of displaced people who travel the world giving their magical services to other countries while searching for their lost homeland, which you end up finding at the end of the game. So yeah its extra weird cos male children of the nagi race are born with no powers whatsoever and cant even become cocoon masters, yet they get the ruling position in this homeland place? Like thats a better metaphor for how christian societies work, honestly!

Anyway im going offtopic again!

Basically, cocoon master = adventurer dude who catches monsters, nagi = magician who purifies those monsters so you can use them in battle. So when you catch stuff it becomes an inventory item rather than being able to use it on your team right away. And also nagi women can fuse monsters together to make super badass new ones and basically the gameplay system works really well to make you believe your wife is absolutely necessary to your quest and you would die without her, even if she cant fight. And honestly its actually kinda romantic! I just wish it wasnt presented as this weird sacred heterosexuality arranged marriage nonsense where all women are physically unable to go to a dungeon and all men are physically unable to not fight every day. Or at least thats how the powers work and if you try and step out of that role you fuckin die. Like it would be romantic to have a couple of a battle partner and a supporter magician if they actually chose it, yknow?

And whats annoying is that they actually do bring up the subject of people defying gender roles and canonically state that you not omly die but bring a curse upon everyone and are hated forever. They dont mention trans or gay people, instead the excuse is that a man loved his wife so much that he tried to learn nagi magic to lift the burden from her. Cos oh yeaj women get 'punished' by god for doing this magic?? Cursed tattoos all over their body the more they use it, and everyone hates them and eventually they turn into a fairy and forget they were ever human. And in the japanese version you can actually fight other nagi women who met this fate, theyre just another monster that you can fight and capture. They were censored in english cos they looked like really racist stereotypes of black women! Ugh! So yeah anyway nice straight husband is punished by the magic straightness enforcing rules of the universe for loving his straight wife too much. So what is the even point? If a man tries to use nagi magic it creates the "black cocoon" of cursed doomness and blah. Literal punishment for not conforming to gender. Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Anyway this setting always made me wonder about all the stuff it just glosses over with this implication that every one of these relationships worked out fine. Like even before we rub lgbtq topics all over a retro videogame, there's a lot of logical holes! Like seriously how many of these arranged marriages ended up loveless or abusive? How many women just didnt want to stay confined to one room forever and not even have anyone look at them because their magic markings are shameful yet its also shameful not to want to do it?? How many men were terrified of going out on this advebture fighting literal demigods sent by heaven to punish humans? How many of them just had no ability to fight and died immediately because of shitty traditions, while perfectly qualified women had to sit there and watch it happen? What if there werent enough straight men and women of the same age and people were forced into gross pedophilic shit or other horror scenarios just cos there has to be this one magical straight couple or the village dies? Whenever theres this stupid gender magic its ALWAYS portrayed as idyllic and never failing ever, unless *gasp* people dont follow the gendrules...

And then SERIOUSLY do no queer people exist in this universe?? Man i'd be so interested in their stories! I actually had an oc idea of a self insert version of me as a travelling merchant. Because maybe what if nonbinary people could do both sides of the magic at once and thus adventure alone without being tied to a village's straight marriage system? So i'd just go around purifying monsters and then be a place you could buy new and rare mons from other villages without having to catch them. Maybe an easier way to get the super rare drop fusion materials for tiger pattern and stuff? And like seriously itd be good to have a character to talk to who agrees that your village is made of assholes. I cant say its bad writing cos it was clearly intentional, but they shoulda at least put a bit more incentive to keep playing even if you didnt care about these people. Also it would help plug the plothole of how a village even survives if it doesnt have the required people to form this magical straight marriage. Have some mysterious enby avengers who travel all across the world and save everyone regardless of country! All we ask is you buy some of our lovely souveniers! Maybe a pet patalchu for your family? Seripusly why dont they ever show anyone using the purified monsters for anything other than fighting the unpurified ones? You'd think they'd be really useful in repairing the village and guarding the walls and like..regular industrial jobs. Help the place actually advance and not have to live day to day on scraps,bickering amoungst themselves as the monsters grow ever closer to breaking through. Hell, you could even have them help spin the cocoons for other monsters! If this magic only depends on having a dick or not, then cant we just dress up some animals in the magic straight marriage outfits? XD

And like aaaa man im getting so emotional just imagining a trans woman who's constabtly told she will literally bring about the apocolypse if she tries to fill the female role in this ritual. And then one day she tries to spin the magic silk and she thinks she's committing the ultimate sin and they were all right. But the magic responds to her touch, and she makes a spell more beautiful than any other woman in the village! It would probably be harder for a trans man cos the magic doesnt have so much of an immediate proof like that. Just going out and winning a fight with a monster can be called "dumb luck", and knowing these assholes they'd probably keep calling it dumb luck even after the thousandth time you save their life!

And man, i wonder how gay relationships would work in such an annoyingly strict system of enforced heterosexuality? Would it be like the magic isnt REALLY gender locked at all, and it can just be any couple with either partner taking either role? Or would it be that it is one magic per gender but the bigoted villagers were wrong about it being impossible to do things without both? Like maybe when you're going into battle alone as a single cocoon master you cant fight without catching other monsters. But when two cocoon masters love each other their magic is amplified and they become able to like.. I dunno.. Imbue each other with elemental strength so they can fight the monsters hand to hand? Cos really the elemental system is the only reason you cant do a no monsters run of the game as it is. Maybe since they cant purify monsters but they can still catch them, they equip the monsters as sort of a power rangers transformation? Or socket them like materia on their weapons? Or just if the world was less segregated into tiny sexist racist villages they could simply buy the purification coccoons from another local nagi, and villages without a coccoon master could buy the services of travelling ones. Oh, and maybe two nagi lesbians could be even more badass! Cos if they can only purify and not fight, maybe their double purification is so strong that they can just straight up walk into the forest and monsters don't attack them. They dont even need to do the full spell, they can calm a beastie's rage just by holding out their hand and patting it on the head. So they coukd be infinately more effective and not have to just tenporarily clear single travelling routes of a few monsters, but actually work towards slowly purifying the entire forest and creating a peaceful land again. Tho i mean the game did have a unique atmosphere with the whole 'no hope of ever beating them' aspect. It was unique to see a society formed around the idea of never going into forests or you Die. But magical lesbians and their family of a million pet dragons is honestly better!

And uhhhh ive gone all offtopic now and i camt stop thinking about how much i love magical lesbians with a million pet dragons

The End

[lyricdissonance]

odds please! for ask thing

1. How do you define your sexuality?i’m bisexual, i also identify as queer3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?first started realizing i “like like” girls instead of just “like” at 15 I believe?5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?gradual realization, i had a whole lot of female actresses and musicians i really admired and then realized i was also attracted to them. then i kinda brushed that aside for a while, thinking that my celeb crushes didn’t count as real crushes, before i also got crushes on girls i knew irl which made me realize i definitely wasn’t straight7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?reading posts by bi bloggers on here helped a whole lot, they made me realize that i didn’t have to fit a narrow definition to be “allowed” to call myself bisexual. and as someone who grew up in a conservative environment, i probably wouldn’t have discovered my sexuality when i did without tumblr since i’d never been told before that it was ok to not be straight, and i thank the internet for showing me there are other ways to live life

9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?it was by text message to a male friend who was the only other bi person i really knew at the time. he was super supportive and we haven’t talked in a while but i’d love to catch up with him someday11. How out are you?out to friends and two family members, but closeted to most of my family. which means i can be gay on tumblr and twitter but not instagram and facebook. funny how that happens13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?a few people have been surprised, but these days when i meet someone new i prefer to casually mention my sexuality rather than do a real “coming out” and i don’t normally get any reaction from that15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?like the last answer, if i feel like i can trust them i’ll just try to slip it into conversation. i don’t have a timeline for when i do it though, it’s just whenever i feel ok doing it17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?not so much that as just wishing my sexuality could be not a big deal. i’d love to be out to everyone but i know it would cause problems in a lot of my family relationships19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?i gave up using percentages a while ago but i’m attracted to men and women about the same amount overall21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?only all the time because girls are Too Cute to not do that

23. What is your current relationship status?

single af

25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?i’ve kissed one person and she was nonbinary, we were hanging out in her dorm common room when she went for a kiss on the cheek and i was like “well we might as well do one on the lips too”27. What is your ideal first date?wherever we go i want us to be having fun! i love going out for food or drinks but if we don’t have a connection then it’s just us staring at our plates so there’s always that risk of it being too awkward. i’d love for us to try something new where we can talk and laugh while getting to know each other29. How flirty are you?i’m the certified worst at flirting. i’m trying to be more confident but my idea of flirting right now is staring across the room31 Do you want have children someday?no but i want to volunteer with children someday and do something to help make their lives better33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?not often, i think my family is used to me saying no by now lmao35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?nope (see above, single af)37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?nope39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?nope and nope41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?oh yes43. Would you ever date a trans woman?absolutely45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?

a wendy’s parking lot in upstate new york 

somewhere where you can meet people who have a common interest, like a bookstore or a dance class or an lgbt event. but the romantic in me wants to believe that the love of my life could be found anywhere

47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?have not but would love to! even if i don’t like it i want to be able to say i tried it49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?don’t want one for myself, but i think they’re cute51. How muscular are you?not very53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?

hasn’t happened to me

55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?i may not consider myself very feminine but i do love how skirts and dresses look on me. so like once or twice a week on average?57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?i go without it a lot but i like wearing a piece of statement jewelry when i think an outfit needs it59. How often do you wear a bra?almost always when i go out, but home is a No Bra Zone61. Have you ever worn a suit?nope but i’d try it!63. Do you carry a purse?yep, i find it convenient to have all my stuff with me65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?because of my body shape finding men’s clothes that fit well is Hard but i’ve worn men’s shirts on occasion67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?

no but i like this idea so cute girls who are my size please hmu

69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?my faves include freddie mercury, janelle monae, st. vincent, and lady gaga71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?nope73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?i’d like for us to survive to the end of the show for one thing. and not be overly sexualized. i’m glad that we’re seeing more positive and happy depictions like on b99 but we could always use more75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?tbh i don’t really follow any youtubers77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?i follow a lot of gay blogs on here, too many to choose a favorite. and i really like autostraddle.com79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?

i really need to start reading more lgbt lit, but shoutout to the misfits by james howe which was the first time i ever encountered gay characters in literature. i think it’s important that that book showed a gay boy who was unashamed about liking feminine things and had friends who supported him. i know my young mind was opened a little after i read it. and now that i’m looking it up again it turns out the author is gay which makes it even better!

81. Boobs or butts?Certified Boob Lover (tm)83. Ellen or Portia?

probs ellen

85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?no but there’s a gay club that’s popular w people at my school that is on my list! 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?my sister, no others that i know of89. How outdoorsy are you?i’m definitely more outdoorsy than i used to be! i’ve learned to enjoy a bit of hiking, kayaking, and exploring but i still don’t do well with heat and bugs lol91. How many rainbow items do you own?one rainbow rubber bracelet, and a couple of bi pride items93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?no, as far as i know it was never a big thing at my school? i knew one or two people who did it95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?no, i’m kinda curious about what a meeting would be like tho97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?nope99. Do you play any video games?

well i used to be a hardcore nintendogs player back in the day

101. (on a scale of 1-10, how attractive are...) Women who wear glasses?glasses on girls are GR8 - 10/10103. Women who are covered with piercings?kinda neutral on this, i support women getting the piercings they want but "covered with piercings” isn’t really something i look for in a person - 6/10105. Women with short hair?if you have short hair i am guaranteed gay for you - 10/10107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?

*wearing a shirt that says I

109. What does equality mean to you?to me it means i’m treated the same as anyone else and i have all the same opportunites111. Do you eat meat at all?yes113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”?i find them harmful to girls trying to figure out their sexuality bc the implication of a “girl crush” is that all women have crushes on women and that it shouldn’t be taken as serious attraction. that being said i think a not-insignificant amount of women who say stuff like that just haven’t realized yet that they are attracted to women (i was one of them whoops) and i hope we can find ways to talk about the “girl crush” problem that leave room for questioning people to talk about their feelings115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?i hardly ever hear it anymore but i don’t like it117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?everyone should be able to use the bathroom that they feel safest and most comfortable in, gender neutral bathrooms need to be everywhere, and any lawmakers who want to get in the way of that can fuck outta here119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?nope121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.not like, personally, but the number of people who have said in my presence that they “don’t believe” in bisexuality is Too High123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?it was really incredible, i’d been watching as state by state (including my own) had legalized same-sex marriage and suddenly it was all across america. seeing all the love and happiness being poured out on that day was amazing125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?luckily i’ve never been there, but it breaks my heart to think about people going through that127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?"bi women are just doing it for male attention” excuse you i’m clearly doing it in the hopes that jenna coleman will fly to the states and elope with me get your facts right129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?

take your time! you don’t have to 100% understand your feelings but please let yourself feel what you feel and remember you are not alone. and i want to be here for questioning girls the same way that other people were there for me when i was questioning so if you need someone to talk to i am always here.