#being neurodivergent is hell on earth

[tommy-trusty]

I'm so sick of being infantilized. It literally never stops, I can complain about people seeing me as a child all I want and they will literally never stop. I was in my fucking 20s when I died, which isn't that old but it's certainly older than fucking 8, which is what people act like I am

[hellsitegenetics]

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asks are open! check here before sending :) (updated 11/26/24) consider helping me pay to finish my education!

banned from BLAST for being too sexy

check out the archive of every creature that has appeared!

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Okay but why so many MOTHS???: because scientists are not immune to bias. moths are pretty looking and easy to study, so there is more moth DNA in the BLAST database.

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homestuck

FREQUENTLY REQUESTED:

The Bee Movie Script, navy seals copypasta, AM hate monologue, All Star, Yoshikage Kira, Never Gonna Give You Up, man door hand hook car door, Big Bill Hells, FNAF Connection Terminated, JURGEN LEITNER, Eggman's Announcement, Free Bird, Spiders Georg, Weed Smoking Girlfriends, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, Minos Prime, Steamed Hams, battery acid spaghetti, everyone get unemployed, squidward is nonbinary, What is a man?, fucking military wives, (this list will be updated as we go!)

thank you for reading! as a treat, enjoy this Trichosanthes cucumerina, or Snake Gourd flower.

[hannieehaee]

What do you think about svt members dating a autistic/neuro divergent s/o ?? (Don't havets do all members but maybe woozi hannie and cheol? Tysm I literally love your writing ❤️🎀🍓)

dating a neurodivergent s/o

content: non-specific neurodivergence, established relationship, fluff, etc.

wc: 758

a/n: thank u so much<33 i discussed this with two of my besties on the spectrum, so i hope i did this justice!! neurodivergence is very broad so i kept this a little ambiguous btw<3

masterlist

seungcheol -

he's kind of used to being babied by his family, but he'll flip the script and baby you instead. super nice and understanding, engaging in any of your interests and always encouraging you. he'd literally move hell and earth to ensure your comfort at all times.

jeonghan -

very sweet and loving. he has this personality where he babies everyone around him, and i think he'd use his kindergarten teacher voice a little extra on his s/o. gets familiar with any habits you may have and engages in them wholeheartedly. steals any fidget toys you may have bc he must touch at any and every object in his vicinity.

joshua -

he'll learn everything there is to learn in order to support and love you in the way you most deserve! he's very emotionally intelligent and empathetic, so he'll often just kinda sit there and listen to you rant about whichever special interest you had at the time, even taking some of his free time to learn about it on his own.

jun -

cutie is the sweetest boyfriend alive, falling into any habits or behaviors of yours without even realizing. he's super touchy but if you're not into that he'd just settle for playing with your hands and fingers in a reassuring manner (both for himself and you). does his best to understand and relate to you in order to ensure your comfort.

soonyoung -

i picture him acting very similar to jun as a bf. he may instinctually mimic some of your behaviors or habits without realizing. if you have trouble focusing or maybe any compulsive behaviors, he'd somehow match those behaviors just from how much time he spent with you.

wonwoo -

he's literally the perfect boyfriend in every capacity so i think he'd assimilate to you and your needs without even thinking about it. makes himself fit into your life perfectly and provides you all comfort possible. does his best to understand every aspect of your life and has very open communication with you.

jihoon -

he has a ton of little fidget toys in his studio ready for you to play with. if you have any sensory issues, he'd also have some amazing quality noise cancelling headphones in his studio for you to use, anddd he would also make sure to turn off the lights at the universe factory if they ever bothered you. you'd never have any issue with him changing his lifestyle to fit your needs, he'd just do it w/o question.

seokmin -

he's such a sweet and empathetic guy, he'd be thoroughly educated on whichever part of the spectrum you were in. he'd remind you to take any medications (if needed), cook you your safe foods, keep you out of social situations if you felt like going nonverbal, keep things tidy at home to keep you at ease. he'd basically do anything in his power without you even having to ask.

mingyu -

he's a househusband at heart so he's basically just prepared to mother the hell out of you at all times. takes care of all your needs and keeps track of them at his own accord. needs an open line of communication with you to understand your needs and preferences and adapts his life to fit them.

minghao -

he's so insanely emotionally mature i think he'd utilize his amazing communication skills to make sure he's doing everything he can as a bf to make you feel comfortable and at ease with him. entertains and encourages any of your habits and needs. researches anything necessary to understand you as best as he can.

seungkwan -

if u ever go nonverbal or lose your social battery, he'll take complete charge of it, so dont u even worry!!! he loved and respects you more than anyone, so he does his best to adapt to any habits or necessities you may have. the best person at lending a sympathetic ear when you let him know of your needs.

vernon -

very understanding and subtle with his affections. he's the opposite of overwhelming, so he never pressures you and tries to make you as comfortable as possible, doing his best to understand your habits and levels of comfort in order to assimilate to you and ensure your happiness in the relationship.

chan -

he'll match your energy always. if your social battery is gone, so is his! if you feel a little extra energetic, guess what, so does he! wants you to communicate what he can do to ensure your comfort or to be the best bf he can be.

[cybertron-after-dark]

I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about

If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.

As for the rant

Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.

While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)

But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.

Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.

Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)

Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).

Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.

Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.

Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍

[pigagainstsuicidism]

The difference between the power to use and the power to abuse

A very common tactic by those in privilege is to conflate between access to subsistence and resources to meet one's needs and access to control over others. Like, you know that thing people have noticed where queer-centered orgs are way more white supremacist than even most leftist orgs? Like this tiktok is about how whenever you call out their white supremacy, they're all like "I am a transmasculine fem nonbinary neurodivergent obsessive compulsive chronically ill culturally Jewish non-monogamous demiromantic..."

Or when you point out the undeniable problem that TME people have power over TMA people in queer spaces and regularly abuse them, take away their home, etc. and they hit you with a bunch of random, completely unrelated ways in which TME people get oppressed and abused that are specific to them. How is that relevant???

They list parts of themselves that make them disposed to lacking access to subsistence and resources to meet their needs. Being marginalized in all of these ways will harm your life chances. If you're white transmasc, transantagonism affects you in ways specific to transmascs and you get systemic, negative experiences that are largely exclusive to transmascs.

But what on Earth does that have to do with whether or not you have power over a BIPOC, or a transfem, and so on? Like there are whole masterposts that are popular on this site by huge tumblr users that are meant to "debunk" the claim that TMA people face a special, extra form of oppression which is regularly exploited by non-TMA people, and it's literally just a bunch of links to completely irrelevant experiences. Nobody is denying transmascs have it fucking tough, but how the hell is that pertinent to the fact that TME trans people have power over TMA people!?

[the-paper-shredder]

As a physically disabled neurodivergent fellow, one of my everpresent thoughts during my Batman hyperfixation has been how DC treats Jervis Tetch, who's commonly portrayed as physically disabled and/or neurodivergent, throughout media.

What I mean by this is that ever since Grant Morrison wrote A Serious House On A Serious Earth, Jervis has been grouped with every other character ableist writers target. It's often used by DC writers and fans alike as the 'definitive version' of Jervis without realizing the implications of using that when, again, he's often portrayed as physically disabled and/or neurodivergent. (Hell, if ableism somehow doesn't get under your skin, Jervis has also been portrayed as queer in the Arkhamverse and ambiguously queer in one comic. I forget the name of it but trust me on this, it's real.)

Plus, if my research has been correct, Morrison's writing of Jervis is why the whole Alice part of his character going forward exists in the first place.

My last point (because I can't think of anything else to add) has already been talked about (although every point in this post has been mentioned amongst the gigantic fandom in some way or another) but it's still worth bringing up: Jervis's interest in Alice in Wonderland being linked with him sometimes being portrayed as a disgusting pervert also implies that an adult having 'childish' interests is weird. Which continues to reinforce old beliefs (a.k.a: the whole bullying DND fans type shit) that should've died decades ago.

[fluffenough]

letter to the furby community

honestly, im very disappointed in the furby community's reaction to the recent furby release. I completely understand disappointment, and i even get how this furby in so many ways differs from the things that make '98s (and 05s) so special. however, the hatred ive seen spewed towards the furby and the owners and enjoyers of the furby really shock me. As a fandom who notoriously puts banners or disclaimers on posts on tumblr not to call their furby creepy or insult it because it is special to them...  ithought we as a community were very anti-cringe culture. ive seen all kinds of "cringy" customs, and a lot of us are neurodivergent and have been hurt by this behavior. so why on earth are we going back to 2010 and insulting a design by calling it a "sparkledog" for being too colorful for you? realistically, how many of us collect JUST the first generation of 1998 furbies without any customization? we are a community who celebrates colorful, exciting, and over the top customizations. just because this furby isn't a snowball to start with, why are we sending it and the people who enjoy it hate? how would you feel if someone said the things you are saying about the 2023 furby about your furbies? ive seen people comment hateful things on people's posts about their 2023 furbies, and in general the community treatment of it is rancid.

honestly its especially wild to me given the hate various generations of furby have gotten through the years, and the way its hurt people who have enjoyed those. i thought at this point wed moved past that. i joined the fandom in 2018 and the hate for anything not 98 (boom,connect, 05) was pretty rampant. but nowadays, we seem to love every generation of furby despite their differences and flaws. why are we hating on this poor new furby in the family?

look. we are all entitled to our opinions. im hardly saying this has been a smooth release on hasbros part- and im not saying this massive company needs our sympathy. but the people who love this furby? they deserve just as much respect as any other furby collector.

as a 2023 furby lover, please use empathy and compassion and be a bit kinder to collectors who love this furby. in general, the constant bashing on it as someone who really loves it and is excited to get one is very discouraging. we as a community are better than this.

so stop the hate and spread love. cringe culture is toxic. lets make this a happy place. i know there's only so much my words as a single person can do, but i hope if you read this that perhaps it's made you think.

TL;DR- if you wouldnt want that commented on a post about your furby, why the hell are you commenting it on a post about the 2023 furby?

[qtubbo]

being both a tubbo and bagi main is hell on earth i have yet to go one day without seeing the most ableist, misogynistic, and homophobic takes with “q!” and “/rp” half-hazardly slapped on the end 😭

I feel like Im getting tied to a rocket whenever I see non viewers make comments about either of them, it’s always the most misogynistic homophobic, and ableist stuff on the planet. Like people are really out here arguing that Phil’s better about the 4th wall because he doesn’t have … neurodivergent traits… and that Bagi is a bad family member to Cellbit… because she doesn’t center her life on him. I genuinely see people be like oh Bagi should just take the abuse from Cellbit because the prison messed him up, and she didn’t save him??? Like ermm no???

And the god foresaken /rp at the end, people will literally list out tubbo’s ND traits and end it with this is why qTubbo acts like a toddler who never respects anyone else. This is why qTubbo has no empathy because he has ND traits…

[mivolasvivi]

Been thinking a lot about school uniforms and privilege. They’re often presented as some class equalizer and convenience in simplifying dress codes, but they very much are not. Rant

They might be okay if they were like t shirts and jeans, but why are we forcing kids to dress like they’re going to work? Uniforms are often not cheap and they’re often produced by what is effectively a monopoly.

I went to a Catholic school for free growing up since my parents worked for the church, so most of my classmates had a lot more money to afford tuition. My family moreorless HAD to buy second hand, and being a chubby kid my sizes were not common. Plus kids grow in general, so you’re in a constant cycle of buying expensive clothes year to year as they get taller and bigger.

Plus there’s a burden to wash and likely iron a lot of these clothes, which also falls on parents. Most kids hate the uniforms (I sure did as an autistic kid with tactile issues, and the fabrics sucked), and they’re just a huge headache for parents.

I’ve always heard that we wore uniforms to prepare for the real world, but why on earth couldn’t we just be kids? And now I work from home mostly anyways lmao. Plus why is it such a sin to wear comfortable clothes are work anyways? I get it if you’re in a public facing role maybe but besides that it just doesn’t matter.

Also, Catholic girl uniforms are like inherently sexualized and they spent so much time policing skirt lengths and the like. I stg uniform schools waste significantly more time on dress code, even though it’s supposed to simplify things.

Uniforms are expensive as hell, a sensory nightmare for some, and annoying for parents. At least in the US, I feel like it’s just another way for a school to project their kids as “upper class” or “civilized” (or more “pure” for Catholics) without any educational benefit. There’s some public schools that uniforms too, but at least they’re mostly sensible and cheap.

Not really sure what prompted this rant in particular, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the absolutely nonsensical ways I’ve interacted with the world as a neurodivergent person. Everything is just a façade. I hate the USA capitalist façade to absolutely everything. Like cmon guys don’t y’all get tired of this shit? Apparently not.

[writefightandflightclub]

Santi +/x AuDHD!reader headcanons

(could be platonic or romantic - but written as not co-habiting)

Author’s note: maybe this is too niche, idk, but sometimes I like to think about the blorbos and how they’d interact with an AuDHD reader (because that’s me, so for obvious reasons). I headcanon that Santi is particularly compatible with a neurodivergent reader, maybe because I’m being self-indulgent… but also because why on earth would he not be? So here are a few poorly written / cobbled together thoughts which have been rattling around in my brain.

PLEASE NOTE: These are written in as general a way as I could manage (which may make it slightly less fulfilling, sorry, as it’s therefore lost specificity) but please note: since everyone who is AuDHD is so completely and vastly different, I couldn’t possibly have made this “fit” everyone’s experiences. Sorry if there are things you don’t relate to, but I tried to include a few more common experiences in there so hopefully there’s at least something.

Also! If you have any hcs of your own (for any Oscar/Pedro characters) PLEASE share them because I want more ND!reader content out there! 😀🧡 (Will also consider ND!reader requests if you have them, provided I think I can do it justice!)

Warnings: brief mention of panic attacks / anxiety (Santi). Geared towards ways that Santi helps reader out - that’s where my head was at, so it is what it is. Broadly neuro-affirming, I’m not putting anyone down for any traits ofc, even if they do cause challenges sometimes! Hope that makes sense!

Santi is so organised and tidy. He can make a plan and execute it with great attention to detail (have you seen that storage locker?!). If you struggle to stay organised and keep the house tidy etc., Santiago will have no issue helping you out, whether it’s coming up with a routine, creating a system, or simply doing a quick blitz anytime he’s over at your house. He finds it sorta therapeutic anyway, and you never feel like he’s doing it because he judges you or the condition of your place. It’s just wired into him to find order. Hell, sometimes if you lose something around the place you call him to see if HE can remember where he last saw it, and usually he can. That military routine never really left him, even all those years later, so he’s a great constant for modelling structure!

Santi will FaceTime you to body-double whatever chores you want to complete. For example; you have a Wednesday evening tradition to call each other while you each fold the laundry, or do whatever else you need to get done. You do get things done, and he makes you laugh the whole time too. He sticks to this routine as much as he can, no matter what else he has going on, or which country he is in. He loves this quality time with you, and to him it’s just a bonus that it helps you out.

Running late to meet him? He’s learned to bring a book and a flask of coffee along. He’ll wait, you’re worth it.

Sensitive to noise? Santi can’t relate fully, but he knows what it’s like for some sounds to instil negative effects. (See how this veteran is feeling around the fireworks at 4th July and you’ll get it.) He will respect your need for quiet when you need it. Besides, he’s slowed down a lot since his younger years and more and more enjoys the little things like curling up and reading a book. That said, if you want some stimulation and fancy hitting a dive bar with blasting music, or wanna dance in the kitchen, he can also be convinced. He has the range to accommodate all of your sensory preferences, your routines and your impulsive ideas, and he’ll gladly follow your flow.

He’s a magician at regulating you. This man is observant and can read people like nobody’s business, so he knows when you’re getting overstimulated or overwhelmed - often before anyone else does. When he sees it happen he’s happy to help you calm your nervous system however you need. Whether that’s a soft / firm hug, distracting you by talking to you in his soothing voice, working-out with you, letting you fidget with him - his hands, bracelets, whatever - or borrowing a texture of his, like playing with his soft curls.

Better believe this guy sends you texts throughout the day to check that you’ve eaten / drank water.

If you’re running late to an appointment and he’s free he will 100% drive you.

He loves to cook and always “accidentally” makes extra, so that you always have a stock of tasty “emergency” meals in your freezer for days when you don’t have the energy / functioning to cook.

Don’t wanna make the phone call? Santi will do it for you. Besides, he can charm the socks off of anyone so it’s probably best he deals with it anyway.

Santi is charming but he also has the ability to be straight down the line in his communication, especially with you as he trusts you so much. That means you rarely have to guess what he’s thinking or feeling about any particular thing. He lays it out for you and that’s super helpful. Of course, he can be closed off about his more complex, deeper emotions, but that’s something you seem to bring out of him - at least, in ways that no-one else has managed. You’ve had plenty of deep heart-to-hearts with the man and you know you can count on each other in a pinch, whether you need comfort or to vent about something you have going on.

Santi experiences panic attacks and anxiety and can relate to some of the ways you also struggle. He gets that people’s brains work in different ways and he’s far from judgemental about that. You’ve never once made him feel lesser when he’s been struggling and he will NEVER do that to you either.

Your sense of humour cracks him up no end.

He loves that you can be “blunt” / direct / a little “too honest”. He always knows where he stands with you, and for someone as (secretly) insecure as Santi that’s no small thing.

If you indicate you are burnt-out… he BELIEVES you. No questions asked - except for what you need, of course.

Forgotten something? Santi has started carrying spares. This man is nothing if not prepared, and now that simply extends to you. Whatever day-to-day items you carry (or often lose) he makes a mental note of the item and brand and buys multiple - for his place, his truck, wherever.

This man has social skills galore, so you can lean on him at parties, or in whatever situation if you’re feeling uncomfy or want a “way in” to a conversation. You can even leave him to do all the talking if you like, though of course he will enable you to have the floor if he can see that you want it. On the flip side, if you talk a lot, he is absolutely listening and rapt with whatever you are coming out with.

Don’t always look him in the eye? That’s okay. The man is so beautiful he’s used to people not being able to stare directly at him 😝 Besides, he finds you and your mannerisms completely charming.

He’s deadly, sure, but overall he’s actually quite a calm and not hugely reactive person - especially in a crisis. That can be so helpful in balancing you out on some occasions where you may react in a heightened way, or be emotional or worried / catastrophising about something. Despite his ability to skip town at the drop of a hat - before deciding to stick around - he does have the ability to be pretty steady and stable and sometimes that’s what you need.

He appreciates you and everything you do for him. He helps you out sometimes but you never feel “in his debt”. He is endlessly praising all of your amazing strengths and attributes (amidst some fond teasing ofc) and appreciates all that you are as well as all you do for him, and he couldn’t ask for a better person to have in his corner.

[polariod240]

Koji Kabuto might be an hero to most, but he hates it and tries his best to be a menace to society instead.

It was fun when he was 14 and suddently people started caring about him, after being tossed aside by family members all his life. However, as time passed, he noticed that media only cared to show an idealized version of himself.

Reporters, politicians, rich enterpreneurs and influencial people alike acted like he was an expendable caricature to use for their own goals.

He was described as an hero, a selfless strong young man who would have sacrificed himself to save Japan from Doctor Hell's mechanical beasts. His grandfather, who was Hell's second in command and ran away with Mazinger Z one night, now was regarded as a tragic hero, too.

He remembers how his estranged grandfather crashed at his and Shiro's apartment one night, begging his older nephew to help him out with something. Shiro was watching cartoons on tv, while Koji was cleaning the dishes. Koji didn't even know how to feed Shiro the next day, so he couldn't give a fuck about this pathetic (maybe drunk?) old man. The teen tried to push Juzo away towards the door, but he couldn't ignore the explosion that came after: the apartment crumbled down in a matter of seconds. Koji heard Shiro's muffled scream somewhere, he didn't know what happened or what to do, but he had to save him. Nothing else mattered, so that's why he cared to listen what the old fuck had to say now. He remembers how his grandfather looked at him once he got inside Mazinger Z's head for the first time.

He was smiling. Koji had never been great at identifying facial clues in others, but he felt like his grandfather was waiting for something amazing to happen. But Koji didn't care, he dashed to save Shiro who was stuck under a wooden desk. When he came back to the Juzo, the man had stopped smiling. They stood in silence for a couple of seconds, then Juzo broke the silence with a disappointed look on his face.

JUZO: "How"

KOJI: "HOW WHAT? IS THIS YOUR FAULT, FUCKHEAD?! YOU'RE LUCKY SHIRO IS-"

But then, the older man looked at him with disgust. Koji knew that stare very well, so he closed his eyes and gently hid Shiro inside Mazinger's metallic palm.

JUZO:"I failed"

That's all he said. Then Koji heard a gunshot that made his body shiver in terror, but he stayed still. He couldn't move nor look at what happened at the robot's feet, but he knew Shiro was crying inside Mazinger's hand and he had to protect him at all costs. So he never looked back at his grandfather, because he knew he couldn't say anything else anymore now.

So yeah, Koji hates when people call Juzo Kabuto an hero on national television.

So, what was I saying? Oh, right!

Why would anyone have done anything about Doctor Hell when they got this very veeery special kid that was able to pilot a doomsday machine all by himself, afterall?

Whoopsie, did I say that Mazinger Z was built to be a doomsday machine? I mean, that's what Hell and Kabuto original plan was, anyway. They based Mazinger Z on an ancient lost Mycenian robot-golem weapon that was said to have destroyed the Mu Empire overnight. Legends said that this war golem acted like an emotional enhancer to its pilot, so no matter what the pilot felt, they would have been overwealmed by their deepest, most hidden desire and go berserk on anything that standed on their way. That's why the pilots were said to be people who had nothing to loose, like orphans, slaves and old veterans. It sounded like a great idea for a weapon intended to threat the entire world with!

That's why Koji's grandfather asked the kid for help that night. Juzo Kabuto would have become Dr. Hell's number one enemy thanks to the destructive nature of Mazinger Z, in order to conquer Earth all by himself. He had no noble intentions when he departed from Hell, he was as bad as the other guy.

Unfortunately, nor him or Hell took in consideration that neurodivergent individuals could fight against their neural link internal system. Was Juzo mad at himself for not taking this possibility into consideration? Did he even believe neurodivergent people were a real thing? Was he disgusted at Koji alone, because it meant there was something deeply "wrong" with the kid?

Or did he see himself in Koji in that moment? Did he hate himself to the point he couldn't bear accepting the fact he could be "wrong" too? We will never know and Koji never came to a conclusion either.

It's not like Mazinger Z didn't have an effect on Koji, by the way. It did, it was the main reason why Koji got very tense and bloodthirsty on the battlefield every single time! He was able to control himself enough to not go berserk, but when he was inside Mazinger Z, he needed to fight anything and anyone, at all times. When he didn't feel stimulated enough by a physical fight, he shouted on mic the most controversial punk opinions he had, because he knew he was being broadcasted on international television. News channels started censoring his live battles for this very reason. Koji keeps using this gimmick as a way to keep the press away from him to this day, so it's not so bad! Still, you couldn't touch or talk to him for a couple of hours after a fight, or even days. It was a real unpredictable mess.

Fortunately, the Mazinger Squad defeated Hell and his mechanical beasts years ago and so, Koji hasn't been able to use Mazinger Z for a while now. Sure, there was an aftermath secret cold war fought by spies and secret agents for some time, but nor Koji, Sayaka or Boss' gang were ever involved with it.

That was Tetsuya Tsurugi and Jun Hono war! Don't you worry, they never had to use a real Mazinger, since the two of them were raised as spies by Kenzo Kabuto more than anything. So they got mobile mazinger-inspired suits that totally didn't give them weirder mental side effects. :)

But ehy, when the story starts Koji (23) is back from the USA after working at NASA as an intern, Shiro(18) just won a scholarship to a prestigious french academy and both Tetsuya (28) and Jun (29) are healing and bonding with Koji like a family. Everything is going great! I surely hope Koji won't see an ufo crash landing any time soon. And I really, really hope he won't find any humanoid alien named Duke Fleed inside of said ufo, that would be a whole new type of mess to deal with.

:D

[ao3cassandraic]

Heaven and Hell as surveillance states

@princess-spock responding to The Fiasco says:

The Metatron probably IS watching, although it can't be too close by because he's never visible through the windows… But, so what? If Aziraphale wants help, what's to prevent him from just ASKING Crowley for it? If the Metatron was able to perceive anything Aziraphale did or said at a distance, Aziraphale would be unable to eventually plot against him, so the Metatron CAN'T be that perceptive. Turned backs are sufficient to thwart lip reading, lol.

Solid observation. Let's explore it. (I mentioned I'm a privacy wonk, I think. No way am I gonna miss an opportunity to privacy-wonk at all of Tumblr!)

One thing I did while I was pondering The Final Fifteen Minutes was watch it with the sound muted and captions off. I'm not the greatest at connecting facial expressions with emotions (not neurodivergent as far as I know, just kind of clueless, this takes effort and attention for me), so I needed the lack of distraction.

I recommend this. It did help clarify things for me. And, of course, it gives an idea of the level of drama Metatron can see through the bookshop window even if he can't hear or lipread the actual words. Frankly, though, would you put a surveillance miracle (or a simple plant of what Earth humans call a "bug" in the bookshop -- he has plenty of opportunity) past the fucking Metatron? I wouldn't. But I'm not the point. Would Aziraphale think this possible? How would it impact his conduct in the Final Fifteen Minutes?

From the chinwag, Aziraphale learns that the Metatron's been hunting through Heaven's records to figure out that Crowley and Aziraphale are an item. (As I said, chilling. Just the "I've been watching you two" implication must be a real oh-fuck moment for our poor angel.) Exactly how much he knows, we don't know and Aziraphale doesn't know. It could be a lot... and it gives the Metatron a psychological advantage over Aziraphale to leave that question open, let Aziraphale imagine that the Metatron could know anything about them, or even everything.

Now, there's plenty we don't know about how Heavenly surveillance works and how extensive it is, especially on Earth. In s1, Michael rocks up to Gabriel with surveillance photos of Crowley and Aziraphale on a random park bench. But Michael's pretty incompetent with things Earthly -- she barely manages to figure out a matchbox. I wouldn't take those photos as the limit of what Heaven's or Hell's systems can do on Earth.

Saraqael, Heaven's Only Competent Angel, is pretty adept with the Realtime Big Globe, also a surveillance mechanism. She doesn't expand the archangels' view on the sceptred isle past what's needed to detect the miracle plume -- but then, at that point she believes she's shown what they need to know, why bother looking further? So we don't know how deep or detailed that globe's viewport can go! Judging from his actions in s1, Aziraphale barely knows how to make the globe work; he doesn't know either. So as far as he's concerned, it could be capable of any level of realtime surveillance at any place on Earth. Does the Metatron have an accomplice using it to keep an eye on the bookshop? (I actually don't think so -- the Gaiman-Finnemore brain trust tends to be more parsimonious than that -- but Aziraphale has little on which to base a guess. It's possible, to him.)

We do know Aziraphale and Crowley fear the possibilities. Why else would Crowley insist on doing a miracle to shield Jimbriel from recognition, practically first thing after he and Aziraphale reconcile?

We also get a pretty substantial clue that Hell's surveillance systems on Earth can hear words -- if they couldn't, why would Crowley care so much about never being called nice or kind or good? Furfur surveilling the Spider Shit Cell can hear the flies screaming, another hint.

So we know, from all this and from Muriel's full-color meeting-Zoom records, that Heaven is a surveillance state in the Bentham-panopticon, Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four tradition, and Heaven treats Earth as a surveillance target as well. The surveillance state is even more obvious in Hell; Furfur's a cog in that wheel.

The slight twist away from Bentham and Orwell is that Heaven's surveillance systems don't seem to be monitored 24/7/365 the way Bentham's prison or Oceania's telescreens are. Instead, the Realtime Big Globe gets an occasional pinch-and-zoom, and otherwise surveillance records pile up unheeded in Muriel's office until somebody cares enough to consult them, which isn't often ("once every few hundred years" according to Muriel).

So it's intermittent, unpredictable surveillance, consultable whenever anyone cares enough. And from research on Earth humans (um, I'm going to put a CW for abuse on this post, because a fair chunk of this research involves survivors of domestic and intimate-partner abuse, also those who live in oversurveilled areas or are subject to bossware), we know that under constant or intermittent-unpredictable surveillance, people develop strict internal self-governors for their own conduct -- stricter than their surveillors expect of them, even. They often become anxious, expecting accusation or attack from any corner at any moment. Distressingly often, surveillance all by itself (no additional abuse necessary) causes clinically-significant trauma.

Does this sound like our Ineffables to you? Does to me. (It's also mirrored in Lindsay's treatment of Nina.) They know they can get away with a fair bit, because they build up a track record of doing so -- Heaven is largely indifferent and possible to trick, God is outright oblivious, and both Heaven and Hell seem to operate on a peer-to-peer surveillance model where you only get watched when somebody's trying to rat you out (see: Furfur going after Crowley in 1941). But the consequences of being successfully ratted out are dire -- Falling, in Heaven; whatever happened to Crowley at the end of the Resurrectionist minisode, in Hell.

Again, Aziraphale finds out during the chinwag that the Metatron has taken an interest in him and Crowley, enough to comb through the records. So even if the Metatron can't read lips, even if he hasn't planted a bookshop bug -- given that Heaven's a surveillance state and he knows the Metatron's out there watching and can consult Heaven's surveillance records for additional details afterwards, strict kayfabe will be Aziraphale's likeliest defensive response, and quite reasonably so.

Not least because the Metatron is by no means the typical incompetent Heaven angel. He handles himself on Earth perfectly! He's not omniscient or infallible, but he's only the tiniest bit lacking in clue! If Aziraphale's extra-cautious in the bookshop, knowing that the Metatron's involved in this mess, that's only common sense!

So I'm standing pat on Aziraphale kayfabing his poor little heart out with Crowley, for now. (As always, my metas are subject to revision and reinterpretation! I'm way too Former Litrachoor Scholar to insist on a single set-in-stone interpretation of anything ever.)

[emmabirb8]

Megamind and Zim

So, I'm a huge nerd (as you all know). And I've recently gotten a bit back into Invader Zim because my hyperfixations are a neverending cycle of whatever happens to capture my interest.

Well, since my brain likes to make connections between hyperfixations, I decided to start listing out similarities between one of my most precious blorbos - Megamind - and Zim. Just for funsies. :P

And uh, there's A LOT, actually. Which shouldn't surprise me considering they're both Very Dramatic aliens, but either way. I'm gonna post what I've gathered here for my own amusement. 😁

So here's what I got:

Aliens

Landed on Earth

Grew up parentless

Outcasts of society

Robotic servants/minions that were given to them prior to being sent to Earth (yes, Minion is a fish, but he does have a robotic body)

Black heeled boots and black gloves

Viewed as "evil" even tho neither are actually evil (Zim is self-centered, chaotic, and destructive but I wouldn't classify him as evil even if he himself might - his mission to conquer Earth is more to please his Tallest and be validated as a good invader than to actually be evil for the sake of being evil)

Have strong relationships with their rivals/enemies to the point where they give their lives meaning and purpose - both became depressed and unmotivated when those enemies were suddenly not around to fight (due to being "defeated" in Megs' case and pursuing "real science" in Zim's case in the unfinished ep Mopiness of Doom)

Both are frequently shipped with their enemies in fanworks (Metro Man for Megs, Dib for Zim)

Intelligent scientists and inventors but they're also goofy as hell and they create plans that continually fail

Speech idiosyncrasies (pronouncing words incorrectly for Megs, emphasizing certain words and poor volume control for Zim)

Very animated and dramatic/theatrical when speaking

Short (Zim more so than Megs but Megs is still, like, shorter than Roxanne)

Big egos that hide their severe insecurities

Significant amounts of angst to both character's backstories

Cool color skin tones

Bullied in school

Affinity for junk food

Many fans of their respective media are in the lgbtqia+ community - both characters themselves also read as some flavor of queer and fans often HC/interpret them as such

Both come across as some level of neurodivergent

Pretty neat, huh? Well, I took it a step further (bc of course I did) and decided to ALSO find as many similarities as I could between Roxanne Ritchi and Dib Membrane. Being the main human characters, it felt more appropriate than trying to compare Metro Man to Dib, even tho Metro Man largely fills the "enemy" role for Megamind (and bc I am a filthy shipper at heart, fight me*).

Anyway, so Roxanne and Dib:

Human (potentially questionable in Dib's case, but still)

Foils and equals to the alien protagonists

Intelligent

Sneak into alien protagonists' bases to take pictures and figure out "evil" plans to try to stop them

Have been kidnapped by aliens

Know the real truth of the alien protagonists, but their peers don't (Roxanne knows Megamind isn't really evil or dangerous, Dib knows Zim is really an alien - in Megamind's case, the people of Metro City do eventually come around, but not til the end)

Have false narratives about some aspect of their lives widely believed by the general public (most the citizens of Metro City think that Roxanne is dating Metro Man, almost everyone around Dib believes he's just crazy for thinking Zim is an alien)

Have companions who are also privy to the alien protagonists' true natures, but those companions are apathetic (Metro Man and Gaz respectively)

Concerned for the well-being of their fellow humans and cities

Like their aliens, both also come across as some level of neurodivergent (you kinda have to squint to notice it in Roxanne, but it's definitely there)

Alien boyfriends* (if you ship Megarox and ZaDr :P)

So yeah! Just some fun comparisons to ponder.

*Although I don't ship ZaDr within the canon universe of the show itself, I do enjoy it in certain transformative contexts. I'm v aware of the controversial nature of the pairing, so I wanna make that clear. I just like having fun with it.

[weightedblankettt]

Honest to god, I will never ever ever understand the disproportionate amount of hate Nico gets for (checks notes)

1. Being shy (That obviously means that theyre acting like a kid /sarcasm)

2. Getting defended (They’re totally being babied and need to act their age because theyre being childish /sarcasm)

3. Attempting to kill someone who’s made their life a literal living hell (Ace was just projecting so its okay!! /sarcasm)

I’m definitely not saying they were right in their methods but the way people look at these two and somehow decide Ace is the one that has no faults is… So shocking to me, really genuinely… What happened to “Just because you have issues doesn’t mean you get to make it everyone else’s problem”??? The majority of takes I’ve seen regarding the situation are so abhorred… Especially when it comes to their neurodivergent-coding and Hu. Like. No they are not being babied because they have a friend. Do you want them to be shit on by everyone?? The one person that isn’t completely disregarding the fact that they’re being tormented is getting demonized for giving a shit, and the reason she’s doing it is because of her own insecurities!! I don’t understand why so many people have come to the conclusion that somehow Nico is worse than Ace because they took a drastic measure. They have repeatedly insisted that people would throw rocks at them and physically assault them because of their identity. Is it such a shocker that you would immediately resort to leaving a potentially dangerous situation?? Sure they weren’t right to do it, but saying that there were other ways to resolve it is disingenuous at best and outright ludicrous at worst. When has Ace ever been the type of person to listen to someone telling him to stop doing something? Never! And unless you want to suggest that Nico should lock themselves in their room and give up their ability to exist freely just because Ace can’t deal with his own problems, there’s literally no other solution. They can’t even tell anyone because nobody cares. Seriously. Teruko, Levi AND Rose were there when David and Ace effectively outed them and did nothing. I’m not saying they’re bad people, they had their reasons most likely, but do you really think that they would do anything. Genuinely. And plus, why would you want to stay in a place where someone has forcefully revealed something about you that you were demonized and assaulted for. Tell me. Why should Nico have to be the bigger person when Ace is causing all their problems because of his inability to regulate his emotions?? I can sympathize with Ace. An attempted murder is serious, and no amount of harsh treatment can justify it, but acting like it can’t explain it is just running on a blind desire to defend Ace. I see people say that they “hold both of them accountable,” only for them to list 10 paragraphs on Nico’s wrongdoings and giving Ace a: “Bullying is wrong but he had his reason.” What. Obviously he did, but so did Nico?? And the constant borderline ableism revolving around their personality and mannerisms is genuinely crazy. I see people regurgitating the same two quotes: “Nico is being babied!” or “Nico is an adult!” The first one isn’t even true and the second one is just stupid. Ace is an adult, why can’t he stop bullying people?? Somehow a loud, angry, bully is more “adult-like” than… a shy person? I just don’t understand it. And even if you want to say that you JUST hate them for that, let me ask you: WHERE ON EARTH IS ALL THE HATRED FOR XANDER???? HE TRIED TO KILL HIS CLOSEST FRIEND OF ALL PEOPLE. I apologize if this came off as hostile, I really don’t mean it in a hateful or angry way, I’m just confused and dumbfounded.

TL:DR: You guys should listen to J when she said they both suck, and not just Nico.

PS: I’m defending Nico, yes, but that doesn’t mean I excuse their actions. That is a different conversation entirely

[1ore]

Hi, I've been following you since Ye Olde Esk Days and you've always been a huge inspiration for me as a fellow gender-questioning neurodivergent lesbian both in art and science.

I've been wanting to reach out because I'm considering enrolling in Enviroinmental Sciences (or something in that ballpark) in 1 or 2 years and wanted to ask how your experience studying it has been to you as a person with an artistic bakground? I am afraid my ADHD might get in the way of maths, and that I might not be "smart" enough to pursue a degree in STEM, despite the fact I've always been interested in scientific subjects and in the conservation efforts around the area (and the river) I grew up in. so, yeah, I don't really know what else to say xmx I hope this message wasn't too much, and thank you for taking the time to read it. Your art and its message has always meant a lot to me! (also, happy Pride month!)

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

So, funny enough, math anxiety is part of what what led me to Environmental Science in the first place. My degree is a Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Science, not a Bachelor of Science, because IIIIIII didn’t want to take more semesters of calculus and organic chemistry than I had to 🤪 I struggled with math in highschool, and by the time I went back to school, it had been more than 5 years since I last took a math class. I was also more interested in the interdisciplinary parts of Environmental Science, so a BA let me put more credit hours towards classes in policy, law, social science, humanities, etc.

As far as I know, having a BA hasn’t held me back. I’ve been accepted into internships and other programs doing “real science” just fine. Maybe this won’t always be true, but I’ve figured out that I like teaching and engaging people in science more than I like being in academia, so that works out fine for me.

As for my experience with ADHD and math/science courses, I have euuuauuuehhh a lot of thoughts. This gets dense, sorry.

First, my ADHD came with a side of anxiety, which manifested as a compulsion to do well academically regardless of how much my mental health suffered. Doing busy work felt like hell on earth for reasons that were then mysterious to me, but disappointing my teachers felt Worse. So I became really good at, like, academic minmaxing, not so much learning or taking care of myself. It’s hard to articulate. I want to say I was muddling through these classes as a professional test-taker and not a student, and also not applying myself fully. But at the same time, I felt like I was well beyond my breaking point? This made more sense to me later when I got the diagnosis LOL. my capacity for doing the things I’m supposed to do, the way I’m supposed to do them, is lower than other peoples’. So either I do what I’m not supposed to do, or I do it “the wrong way.” <- meaningless.

I say all that because coursework is a poor metric of how “good” you are at science or math, or whether you'll enjoy doing them outside of the classroom. We know this LOL but I want to reiterate it. I learned how to get really good grades without learning how to reason my way through why xyz methodology is justified, or how to ask questions and be curious about what’s happening around me. It’s corny but it’s true. on one hand I still struggle with these, because I’m still working under the assumption that whatever’s going on in my head is the “wrong” way to do it. But ADHD does a lot of heavy lifting for us with lateral thinking and being able to make connections that other people can’t always see. If you want to do Science ™ (as in academic research,) this is an awesome tool to have in your toolkit.

There’s also a whole world of environmental work outside of academia that demands its own skillset, which coursework may or may not teach. Like, if you want to do hands-on restoration work or interpretive work or field technician stuff, this is less “can you spit out the balanced equation for photosynthesis on command” and more “can you operate a woodchipper” or “are you comfortable with public speaking and customer service.“ This is another part of what attracted me to envirosci--how wide-ranging the job market is. The backdrop of science is the same, but your day-to-day responsibilities can look wildly different.

Also, if it’s any encouragement, being an arts person has been a huge plus in my experience. My most recent employer told me outright that the artsy scicomm stuff in my resume is what made them think “oh, we need her.” Art and science are wives LOL a lot of the skills you hone as an artist are invaluable in science, especially if you’re doing any kind of communication work. (<- has seen some poorly-written papers and incomprehensible figures in her time)

Going along with that, back when I was yea high and wanted to do art professionally, I remember people telling me that you only go to art school for the professional connections. A lot of STEM careers are locked behind having a specialized degree, but I think this advice is still applicable here. Being a “good student” hasn’t helped me as much as abandoning my anxiety and sending cold emails, showing up at peoples’ guest lectures and office hours, participating fully and sincerely, etc. The stuff I did outside the classroom was more meaningful to me, in the end. (That said, I was lucky to have several classes that were more skills/training-oriented for things like GIS, field botany, conducting environmental assessments for NEPA, etc. You can swing projects for classes like these as opportunities to build skills or create portfolio pieces.)

OK. I thiiiink that’s everything I have for you? I hope that answers your question. If not, I can give it another shot. I'll also leave you with this answer from beloved mutual Heedra re: what Environmental Science as a major is like. I can't believe it's 6 years old because it's part of what put Environmental Science on my radar in the first place LOL

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Cartoon scale from "we must kill all magic" SVTFOE to "bring back magic and spread it" SPOP

It's very strange that Star Vs wanted to kill all the magic, it was an edgy outcome and the exact opposite of the episode where Star came back to life. The killing magic logic doesn't even work in itself, because apparently magic creates inequality, but honey, so many things create inequality. The mewmans aren't going to leave monsters alone forever. I get they spent a good season and a half villainizing the magical council for some reason but come on, seriously no solution other than killing all magical beings and magical portals???? Especially since it seems Mewnie itself got portal merged with Earth in a horrifying way.

Like, the show's politics by that stage seemed so angry about something. A lot of spite happening. There's plenty of real life analogies to compare it to that would induce spite, but I don't think any of them are fitting here. Authority....? Is it worth "killing the magic" to give a middle finger to monarchy? Can't you, instead, give magic to everyone? That would be cool!!! EVERYONE getting powers. Therefore people like Mina have no power over anyone else. That's more of what Spop went for, magic as a symbol of freedom of expression and freedom from control.

Something else is, a whole bunch of disgruntled mewmans went to Moon for help, then she superbuffed them with magic for. Some stupid reason. What a horrible character butchering. She endangered her own daughter and for what?

All of this overshadows some of the sweeter moments of Star, such as the aforementioned death and revival at the start of season 3. That entire arc was Star at its peak. And the mother-daughter relationship with all its complexities.

A petty issue I have with Star is she is very ADHD at the start and by the end of the show she's completely "grown out" of it (aka it was crushed out of her). As if it was mere childishness and she has to become a normal boring adult now.

I was very happy when in Owl House, they directly addressed this part of Luz... the crushing of her neurodivergent spirit... and her mother tells her it's all okay to be weird and wonderful and then in the final battle she uses her super self insert furry goth OC powers to annihilate Belos.

THAT shit would make Adora proud too. In season 5, theres a few eps where Adora basically does what the hell what she wants, and Entrapta is also doing what the hell she wants, and it's so liberating for me.

Amphibia exists in a weird spot where, they kill the magic but not in as horrible a way as Star Vs, more so the characters go back to their normal lives. The kicker here was that they fell out and stopped hanging for 10 years for,... some reason? In this day and age? I've known one of my friends since I was 4 years old, and we are still very closet today at the age of 27!!! The rest of our friends we've been with for over 10 years!!!