#been on the IUD for 5 years now but had to get it replaced at the beginning of last year

[isadora-b-l-e]

oh…. evil…. phantom period.

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Year

1. Belgium approves four-day week and gives employees the right to ignore their bosses after work

Workers in Belgium will soon be able to choose a four-day week under a series of labour market reforms announced on Tuesday.

The reform package agreed by the country's multi-party coalition government will also give workers the right to turn off work devices and ignore work-related messages after hours without fear of reprisal.

"We have experienced two difficult years. With this agreement, we set a beacon for an economy that is more innovative, sustainable and digital. The aim is to be able to make people and businesses stronger," Belgian prime minister Alexander de Croo told a press conference announcing the reform package.

2. Spain makes it a crime for pro-lifers to harass people outside abortion clinics

Spain has criminalized the harassment or intimidation of women going for an abortion under new legislation approved on Wednesday by the Senate. The move, which involved changes to the penal code, means anti-abortion activists who try to convince women not to terminate their pregnancies could face up to a year behind bars.

3. House passes bill to federally decriminalize marijuana

The House has voted with a slim bipartisan majority to federally decriminalize marijuana. The vote was 220 to 204.

The bill, sponsored by Democratic Rep. Jerry Nadler of New York, will prevent federal agencies from denying federal workers security clearances for cannabis use, and will allow the Veterans’ Administration to recommend medical marijuana to veterans living with posttraumatic stress disorder.

The bill also expunges the record of people convicted of non-violent cannabis offenses, which House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer said, “can haunt people of color and impact the trajectory of their lives and career indefinitely.”

4. France makes birth control free for all women under 25

The scheme, which could benefit three million women, covers the pill, IUDs, contraceptive patches and other methods composed of steroid hormones.

Contraception for minors was already free in France. Several European countries, including Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands and Norway, make contraception free for teens.

5. The 1st fully hydrogen-powered passenger train service is now running in Germany. The only emissions are steam & condensed water.

Five of the trains started running in August. Another nine will be added in the coming months to replace 15 diesel trains on the regional route. Alstom says the Coradia iLint has a range of 1,000 kilometers, meaning that it can run all day on the line using a single tank of hydrogen. A hydrogen filling station has been set up on the route between Cuxhaven, Bremerhaven, Bremervörde and Buxtehude.

6. Princeton will cover all tuition costs for most families making under $100,000 a year, after getting rid of student loans

In September, the New Jersey Ivy League school announced it would be expanding its financial aid program to offer free tuition, including room and board, for most families whose annual income is under $100,000 a year. Previously, the same benefit was offered to families making under $65,000 a year. This new income limit will take effect for all undergraduates starting in the fall of 2023.

Princeton was also the first school in the US to eliminate student loans from its financial aid packages.

7. Humpback whales no longer listed as endangered after major recovery

Humpback whales will be removed from Australia's threatened-species list, after the government's independent scientific panel on threatened species deemed the mammals had made a major recovery. Humpback whales will no longer be considered an endangered or vulnerable species.

Climate change and fishing still pose threats to their long-term health.

Some other uplifting news from last year:

A Cancer Trial’s Unexpected Result: Remission in Every Patient

California 100 percent powered by renewables for first time

Israel formally bans LGBTQ conversion therapy

Tokyo Passes Law to Recognize Same-Sex Partnerships

First 100,000 KG Removed From the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

As we ring in the New Year let’s remember to focus on the good news. May this be a year of even more kindness and generosity. Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2023!

Thank you for following and supporting this g this newsletter

Buy me a coffee ❤️

[lesbiancharliedalton]

like i spent the last 3 years in fucking purgatory. a hell of my own creation. trapped literally doing nothing due to the overwhelming fear of failure and stuck in the comfort of monotony knowing that i can't fail if i never try. but i actually failed by not trying. hyperfixating on my own health to the point where i went to urgent care like 3 times in a couple of months which i've literally never done before like i've NEVER been that person before. had a bunch of hormonal issues due to getting my IUD replaced that i'm still dealing with months later. etc etc anyway. now we're here.

it's also so funny how like. literally this lined up with. in october i ovulated for the very first time in like. YEARS. literally the first time in 5 years because i had an IUD and i got it removed completely and out for a month by that point. and i ovulated so hard that it was so fucking painful i was like keeling over in bed and i became so fucking horny that the earth literally tore itself apart.

[rhythmandstrings]

2023

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?

Ride a camel, knit a cardigan, visit Morocco, make a board game.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Nope

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Someone reasonably close, yeah. A fair few accquaintances, too.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Nobody too close.

5. What countries did you visit?

Morocco, UAE, Australia, Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, and plenty of travel around NZ.

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

A job and apartmentin Dublin.

7. What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

It's been a year of great travel, three weddings, and a ton of great concerts, so pretty much all of those.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think getting the Wellbeing Better World published. Super stoked to be involved with creating resources that support young people to have better understanding of how to care for themselves and others.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I honestly can't think of anything major. Maybe killing my rosemary?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Had covid at the start of the year, and a gastro bug while I was in Edinburgh. While the wisdom teeth removal and IUD replacement were deliberate, they both also wiped me out for quite some time.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Travel, concert tickets, and my travel bag.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Most people deserve celebration for something or other.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Many world leaders, and the people that continue to support them.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel, rent, the dentist.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Travel, weddings, concerts

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

Oh boy, so many for different reasons: - Rescue - Yuna - Haul Away - Grace Petrie - Stick Season - Noah Kahan - Pretty much anything by Skerryvore, Gaz Brookfield, or Nati Dredd

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier

b) thinner or fatter? I think about the same?

c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time outside, organising gatherings with friends

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Going back to sleep after waking up

20. How did you spend Christmas?

The usual combination of family and family friends. Lunch at my aunt and uncle's place, then an assortment of people over for dinner at my parents’ place.

21. Did you fall in love in 2022?

Nah

22. How many one-night stands?

None

23. What was your favourite TV program?

Heartstopper was a significant obession.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nah, hate is a strong word, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to largely ignore anyone that comes close to fitting that category.

25. What was the best book you read?

Art and Gwen Are Not In Love - Lex Croucher

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Either Nati Dredd or Grace Petrie. It's been an excellent year for music.

27. What did you want and get?

All the travel and concerts. A few nice clothes.

28. What did you want and not get?

Laid in Ireland?

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

Nimona

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Turned 32. Was taken out for a whiskey distilling tour in Dublin, and had a party thrown for me that weekend.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having a tidier room, maybe?

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Same as ever. Jeans, shirt, whatever is mostly clean and has pockets.

33. What kept you sane?

Music, podcasts, friends, colleagues, monthly supervision sessions, naps, reading, taking time out.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Nati Dredd or the very attractive man in a kilt playing bagpipes in Skerryvore

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Way too many, sadly. Youth justice, various wars and civil rights movements, depressing election results.

36. Who did you miss?

Most people at some point or other. Caitlin is still top of the list due to most regularly being on the opposite side of the world.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

All my various travel friends. Cydney gets a special mention.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022:

Don't always trust the rain to keep your outside plants well watered.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Send a postcard to my year eleven self, in her year eleven health, Saying everything's gonna be just fine, No you won't grow out of it, you will find the clothes that fit. And the images that fucked ya, were a partiarchal structure, And you never will surrender, to a narrow view of gender, And I swear there'll come a day, when it won't matter what they say, On the labels on the doors, you will figure out what's yours." - Black tie, Grace Petrie

40. How did you spend New Year’s Eve?

Up at the place we had just outside Jamboree with colleagues, a few gin and tonics, and some board games.

[deceitfuldevil]

Kinktober 10/5

Pairing: Matt Murdock X reader

Prompt: breeding kink/cream pie

Warnings: mentions of breeding, cream pies, fingering (f! receiving), talks of getting pregnant, swearing, p in v sex, implicit unprotected sex, not proofread.

—

“Well Ms. L/n, your IUD has been in for about five years now and we need to remove it. Would you like to replace it today?” Your OBGYN asked causally, leaving you to ponder in silence for a moment.

“Can I have a moment to think?” You asked, and your OBGYN said “Of course, I’ll give you some privacy.” and left the room, leaving you completely alone with your racing thoughts.

Matt always let you have complete control over you body and never gave his opinion unless you specifically asked him for it. Yet if you had remembered that todays appointment was when your IUD needed to be removed, you still would’ve asked Matt how he felt about you not replacing it.

Of course you knew Matt would be in support of not replacing the IUD, just with his catholic values and whatnot. But to you it also felt like it was time. I mean, you and Matt had been together for 3 years now, and engaged for six months. You were at a stable job and Matt was doing great at Nelson and Murdock, and crime in Hell’s Kitchen was at an all-time-low.

The more you thought of it, the idea of Matt getting you pregnant and having a mini-murdock running around the house made your heart swell and your heat clench around nothing. Just then, your OBGYN knocked on the door and you allowed her to come back inside.

“So, have you made a decision?” She asked.

“Yes, I don’t want to replace my IUD.” You said with confidence.

“Okay, then we’ll just remove your current one and send you on your way then.” She said with a smile, moving ahead with the removal procedure.

Later that day when you came back home, there was a different feeling in your heart. Excitement, but also a sense of nervousness because of how Matt would feel about this.

Matt was sitting down on the couch reading over some court documents, saying hello to you as soon as you entered the living room.

“Hey Matty.” You said with a smile, but there was a little twinge in your voice that immediately set Matt off, he knew there was something different about you.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Matt cooed, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close.

You took a deep breath, knowing there was no hiding anything from Matt. “I did something today without really consulting with you first.” You said in a small voice, hading your face in his broad chest.

“You never need to consult with me before doing something darling, but what was it?” Matt reassured you, taking your face in his hands and forcing to you look at him.

“I had an appointment with my OBGYN today, I got my IUD taken out…” you started off, waiting for a reaction for Matt. “and I didn’t get a replacement.” You finished off, looking at Matt ponder a reaction.

After a few moments, he finally said something. “So… there’s nothing stopping you from getting pregnant anymore?” Matt asked lowly, his response not giving away how he felt about this yet.

“No…” you said quietly, but when Matt’s pupils went wide and his tongue darted out from between his lips, you understood his reaction far from negative.

“Matty…” you asked tentatively, Matt looked like he was holding himself back from something.

“Yes doll?” He asked in a dee voice.

“Will you get me pregnant? Please?” You asked, snapping the last of Matt’s resolve in half. “I thought you’d never ask.” Matt said impatiently, immediately lunging towards you as his lips pressed against yours in a passionate, needy kiss.

You wasted no time wrapping your legs around Matt’s hips as you felt him grind his growing member against your clothed heat. As soon as your legs has latched around Matt’s hips he wrapped his arms underneath your back and picked you up, wasting no time carrying you to the bedroom.

As soon as Matt plopped you on the bed you started to strip yourself of your clothes, Matt doing the same until you lay bare before him and stared at his intimidating manhood. Matt leaned down for another searing kiss, his tongue fighting with yours until you ultimately surrendered and gave into his dominance. Matt moaned in response, trailing his lips down to your neck.

“I’m going to fuck you raw, stuff you so full of my cum, you’ll have to get pregnant.” Matt said roughly, biting down on the sweet spot of your neck before soothing it over with his tongue. His sinful words caused your slick to drip down onto the bed underneath you.

Matt ran his tip up and down your folds, teasing you only for a moment before pushing his throbbing member inside your wet cunt. He wasted no time before drawing back out and beginning to thrust in and out of you, the sound of skin slapping against each other quickly filling the room.

“Oh Matt, Matty it feels s-so good.” You stuttered out, basking in the feeling of his cock pumping in and out deep inside of you.

“You won’t be calling me Matt soon, soon it will be daddy. I’m gonna fill you to the brim with my cum and make sure you’re so pregnant that daddy is the only word you remember.” Matt said, falling off the edge much quicker than usual because of the thought of you walking around his place all pregnant off his spunk.

“Yes daddy.” You moaned, your pussy clenching around Matt’s cock causing his to groan loudly, such a beautiful sound.

“I want you to cum with me princess, are you ready?” Matt asked, his pace picking up as he began to near the finish line.

“Yes daddy, fill me up and breed me with your cum so I’m only yours forever.” You moaned out, high off the knowledge Matt could be getting you pregnant right now.

“I fucking love you so much, fuck.” Matt said as he leaned down to kiss you, allowing you to fall off the edge as you screaming his his mouth, muffling your moans.

Matt’s thrusts got sloppy as he felt you’re pulsating all around him, his sack cinching up as all of his release poured out inside of you. Stilling for a moment when he was as deep as he could possibly get inside of you, making sure to fill you as full as possible.

When Matt pulled out of you, there was an empty feeling. He could hear some of his release trickling out of you and brought two of his fingers down to the expanse of your pussy, not hesitating to slip them insides and make sure you were taking in as much of his cum as possible. Flexing his digits a few more times before taking them out licking them clean.

“You taste so sweet with my juices filling you up baby.” Matt said devilishly, leaning down to press a kiss to your lower abdomen. “Or should I say… mommy?”

Was it crazy to say you could already feel a second heartbeat?

—

A/N

I find todays prompt ironic for me to be writing for so many reasons. One, I am very pro-choice and would definitely get an abørtion if I got pregnant at this time. Two, today is Yom Kippur so I’m fasting and supposed to be washing away my sins while asking for forgiveness. So after I did a ritual to rid myself of my sins from the past year I started writing smut <3.

(Also Yom Kippur is a Jewish holiday shortly after the new year ((Rosh Hashanah)) where you ask for forgiveness from your sins and a blessed new year.)

Thank you all for all the love and attention to my Kinktober so far, it’s making me very happy I decided to participate this year :)!!

Much Love,

—Skyler

[thedressagedraft]

So, I recently changed my birth control from an iud to a ring.  It’s been an adjustment having to get used to changing it out once a month and especially requesting refills from my pharmacy - for the last 5 years I haven’t even had to think about birth control other than checking my iud strings every now and then.

I wanted something long term, but with my pcos and skin issues, my doctors (derm. and obgyn) have recommended something with estrogen instead of progesterone only.  And there is no true long term bc with estrogen, so this is what I can work with.  Which overall is fine.  I just hate having to wait every month for the next ring to arrive.  I am on an auto renewal, but every time I also request it myself because I’m worried it won’t get here in time and then I’ll be out of luck, putting it in late, and having to use a back up method for a week.

We have a vacation coming up in the summer and it appears that I’ll be on my removal week while we are there.  I’m planning to just keep it in for that week (to hopefully stop my period) and then the following week when we return instead of having an off week I will immediately put in the new one.  This should be fine because normally the ring would be out...so it’s not like I’m removing it early and losing the hormones, or keeping it in way too long and it will be no longer effective.  I am just replacing my off week with one more week of the ring. 

The other thing I’m worried about is my new one getting delivered while we’re away.  We have a house sitter, so she could pick it up, but on ring delivery days I am so anxious and checking for it constantly, bc I don’t want it sitting outside in the Texas heat.  Maybe I can request it to come earlier, or possibly get my next 3 at the same time and keep the extras in the fridge.

Honestly, I will probably call my doctor and check to make sure this is something that is ok to do, just to calm my anxious mind. 

[ruthoakenshield]

Very Good Friends (Chapter 12)

Catch up here: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]  [Chapter 9]  [Chapter 10]  [Chapter 11]

Reader x Henry Cavill, Reader x co-star named Dan

Warning: This tale is for 18+ readers ONLY!!!  Mentions of flashbacks: (rape, anal sex, non-con sex, abuse), severe bruising and injury, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, humiliation, and some fluff to make us feel better. Smut comes later on  in the story… Several chapters down the road… I promise!!!

If ANY  of the warnings upset you or make you uncomfortable, DO NOT read below  the cut! go find something else to read in this case.

If you are okay with reading those things then enjoy the tale below the cut.

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. I do not own Henry nor do I have any personal knowledge of him besides what is common knowledge amongst the Cavillary. Any mistakes and typos are mine, story is not beta-tested. GIF I got from the tumbler search thingy.

**********

The doctor informs the nurse that he has to do two emergency procedures and an emergency surgery to remove and replace an IUD. She nods and he tells her to bump all appointments back until this is taken care of, and that they will need to sedate the patient as she is a rape victim who is still reeling from the trauma. She nods and orders and an anesthesiologist to come do and monitor the sedation.

Once the anesthesiologist arrives, the Doctor enters with her and a few minutes later, Henry knocks on the door and enters. You’re looking scared and the Doctor tells you what they are going to do and explains why you’re having so much pain. You look at Henry and he gives you a reassuring smile. “It’ll be okay, Sweetheart. I’ll be right here with you, okay? They’re going to give you something that will make you sleepy, they’ll do the two procedures and take out the old IUD that is out of place and will replace it with one so it’s in the proper place, okay?” Henry tells you reassuringly.

“Honey, you should be feeling better, and in less pain, once we get this taken care of.” The Doctor tells you. “I’ll give you a stronger antibiotic to combat the infection and the pain should go down in your abdomen once we get the new IUD in place.” He confirms. You sigh and nod.

The anesthesiologist tells you she will put a mask on you and to just take slow deep breaths and count backwards from 10 to 1. You nod and take Henry’s hand. He holds it with a firm grip and caresses it with his other hand. The mask is placed on your face and you start to count backwards. Henry chuckles as he sees you get to about 5 and you are out.

The anesthesiologist and Doctor grin and they hook up the necessary monitors to keep an eye on your O2 levels and BP and sedation. Then everyone heads for the CT scan. They shift you onto the platform for the scan and Henry is told where to stand and observe. You are shifted into the machine and it begins taking the pictures of your abdomen specifically your uterus and bladder. Once it is completed, you are transferred back to the hospital gurney and taken back to the room you had been in and are placed back onto the exam table.

You’re given more sedative and then the Cystoscopy is done and confirms your Urethra is extremely inflamed and almost swollen closed. They are able to get the scope through and are able to examine the bladder as well and it’s confirmed it is infected as well. They remove the scope slowly and carefully, then you are given an anti-inflammatory to get the swelling down and a strong IV antibiotic to start to kick the infection faster. While those are being done, the Doctor asks Henry to hold one of your legs still for him while he does the IUD removal while the anesthesiologist holds the other one.

In about 10 minutes, he has the IUD’s swapped out and is having the ultrasound tech doing another ultrasound image to make sure the IUD is placed correctly so it won’t shift or perforate the uterus. It is placed correctly, and so the Doc lets the anesthesiologist start to wean you off the sedative. He tells the ultrasound tech she can head out and thanks her for helping.

The Doc pulls the platform out on the exam table, and rests your legs on it instead of the stirrups he had you in, then puts the stirrups away. He cleans up the area and Henry asks to see the IUD since he’s never seen one before. The doc shows him the one he removed and shows him on the diagram on the wall how it’s inserted and where it’s supposed to sit in the uterus. He explains that because Dan was so rough with you, that it shifted the IUD (which he shows Henry the way it was positioned on the first ultrasound) and explains that since it was tilted, it wasn’t able to do it’s job and ran the risk of either breaking, embedding into the walls or puncturing the uterine walls which would result in needing to have emergency surgery and potentially could make you unable to bear children and worst case, require a hysterectomy.

Henry’s eyes get huge, “All because of that little copper thing?” the doctor nods. “So why use this instead of other forms of birth control if it’s so dangerous?” Henry asks.

“Mostly women want it for the convenience. Depending on which type is inserted, it gets placed, and they can forget about it for anywhere from 3-10 years. Whereas, with the pills, if she forgets to take even one pill the effectiveness drops significantly, and the risk of pregnancy increases exponentially. Patches often leave sticky residue that many women dislike and they have to be replaced each week on the same day. And with both the patch and pill, they can be affected by antibiotics, where an IUD isn’t.” he explains.

Henry nods. Then looks back at you. He sighs. “I suppose it was a good thing, then, that she had that in her.” He says. The Doctor turns and looks at you asleep on the table with the anesthesiologist next to you. He nods. “She was very lucky, though, Henry. He could have very easily broken it, especially with whatever he was wearing that tore her up so bad.

Depending on how long she waits to have intercourse, it may be quite painful for her until her body gets used to things again. She will have a lot of scar tissue that will need to be softened and realigned. She may not like it, but actually, the massaging action of sex will eventually help to realign the fibers of the scar to all go the same direction and the stretching of the walls that it creates will help as well.

I have a friend who is a massage therapist who does a lot of scar work on the outside of the body and has explained how it works to me. It made sense and the same concepts could be applied with this case, but it would have to be someone she trusted very much, and was comfortable with, who would take the care and time to do it properly. Starting out with fingers until she is able to stretch enough to accommodate a larger girth of either a toy or dick. It’ll be a slow process for her, I’m afraid.” He says.

Henry sighs. “When do you recommend she have this done?” he asks. “There’s no hurry, Henry. When she is ready. If it’s you she agrees to have do it for her, just call me and I’ll give you my friend’s name and contact info. She can explain to you the concept and the technique and show you the direction of the muscles’ fibers and which way you’ll need to work the scars. You’ll be able to feel them once your fingers are inside. Scar tissue of any kind is always tougher and doesn’t give as much when pressed.” He tells Henry quietly.

Henry nods and they both see you’re starting to wake up. Henry goes over to you and holds your hand. Once you’re awake more, they sit you up slowly. You wince and groan. But the pain is significantly less now than it was before. You lean against Henry and he holds you. The Doctor comes over to you and asks you if the pain is less now. You nod slowly and he gently pats your knee. “I’ll go get the prescription for you for the stronger antibiotics.” He tells you and Henry. “Just keep using the pain meds you already have. They should be sufficient for the pain now.” he informs you both. You nod slowly and struggle to keep your eyes open.

Henry grins seeing you looking so sleepy. “You’re cute when you look so sleepy, Kitten.” He teases you. You punch his chest lightly. “Stop teasing, Bear.” You tell him, making him chuckle. He holds your head and you both wait for the IV of antibiotics to finish. You ask if you can get off the table and put your clothes back on. The nurse says to wait for the Doc to come back and he’ll answer that for you.

“Okay.” You mumble. A few minutes later the Doctor returns with the prescription. Henry asks if they can get you dressed now, that you wanted off the exam table and wondered if you could sit on the chairs instead while they waited for the IV antibiotics to finish. The doc nods and says you can get your panties and pants, socks and shoes back on, but to wait for your top until the IV is done. He says he’ll check on you in about 15 minutes, then heads out.

Henry and the anesthesiologist help you down from the exam table and help you get dressed, with your panties, sweatpants, socks and shoes. Then you sit on the chair by the desk and lean against Henry. He and the anesthesiologist talk for a bit and then the Doctor returns and sees the IV is pretty much done. He has the nurse come and disconnect everything and she puts a bandage and a colored band around your wrist where the IV had been placed since they couldn’t find a good vein in your elbow nor in your hand. You are awake enough now to be able to sit up without flopping over and are just groggy now.

Rich thanks them for all the help and carries you effortlessly out of the hospital once he gets your discharge papers and has your prescription filled at the hospital pharmacy. He carries your sleepy self to the car and gets you inside. You sip on your still hot tea and he drives you back to the trailers.

**********

It’s lunch time by the time you both get back and you’re surprised to see some signs and balloons and flowers outside the trailer with encouraging notes on them. Henry carries you from the car to the trailer and puts you down so you can look at the notes that were left. They were damp from the rain, which has since stopped, but the notes were still legible.

“They are from our co-stars!” you tell him hoarsely. He nods. “They asked if I minded if they leave you some encouragement outside the trailer. They didn’t want to bother you since you were feeling so miserable.” He explains.

“Awww, that’s sweet!” you murmur with a yawn. You pick up the bouquets of flowers to put in a vase inside. And ask him to take the mylar balloons inside too. Henry gets you in and settled, then goes to get the mylar balloons you requested. He chuckles finding one tied to a sunshine shaped small pillow that has a smiley face with sunglasses embroidered on it. He shows it to you, and you chuckle and sip on your tea. Henry puts the flowers in a vase and sets them by the TV across from the window so you can see them from the couch.

More chapters to come…

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[iamtrebleclefstories]

How are your creative juices going now? Inspired again? I love whenever you post so just mentally preparing myself for withdraw ahah /// No but seriously I do love your fics. I think you should write one where Jo suspects she is pregnant again soon after having their first child and has to tell Alex

Hi! So I really wasn’t going to write anything. I was just going to thank you for your kinds words and attempt to write one of my ongoing stories but for some reason this prompt really got me inspired. So... I have have written a little something for you!

Can’t Say I’m Surprised

“We have a problem!”

“What?” Meredith furrowed her brows as a frantic Jo dragged her into a supply closet. “What is going on?”

“I messed up, Mer. I messed up big time and I don’t even know how I’m gonna begin to tell Alex,” Jo paced back and forth between the racks full of bedpans, blankets, and betadine.

“Jo, I need you to slow down if I’m going to help you,” Meredith grabbed Jo by the shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing.

Jo let out a belabored sigh and looked down at the floor, “I messed up, Meredith. I knew I shouldn’t but I wanted it so bad, I wanted him so bad that I didn’t even stop to think of the consequences. The alcohol in my system didn’t help either.”

Meredith’s eyes widened, “Hold on. Jo, are you saying what I think you’re saying? Did you cheat on Alex?”

“What? No!” Jo exclaimed, a mildly offended expression on her face. “I would never cheat on Alex. Why would you even ask me that?”

“I’m sorry, but you have to understand what it sounded like from my end. You pulled me in here and started walking like a chicken with your head cut off talking about how you wanted someone so badly and didn’t think of the consequences,” Meredith replied.

“Yeah I see where you could’ve gotten the wrong idea from that,” Jo winced. “I didn’t have sex with another man. The problem is that I had drunk sex with my husband.”

“I’m not following here. Why is that a problem?” a confused expression crossed Meredith’s face. “He’s your husband, have all the sex you want.”

“No, Meredith you don’t get it,” Jo shook her head.

“Obviously not.”

“I haven’t been on any birth control since I had Max. I had an IUD that I got removed when we started trying. I never got it replaced. We started using condoms again, which we stopped using three months into our relationship, so we’re aren’t exactly good at using them. And a few weeks ago, I had drunk sex with my husband. I wanted him so badly that I completely forgot,” Jo explained nervously.

Meredith gasped, “Oh my God. Are you pregnant?”

“Maybe? I don’t know,” Jo leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. “I have all the same symptoms I had with Max. I’ve been nauseous, I have weird food aversions and cravings, and I’ve been getting dizzy.”

“You haven’t take a test yet?” Meredith looked at Jo who shook her head. “Well then, we’ll draw your blood right now and have the results within the hour.”

Meredith took Jo by the arm and led her out of the supply closet into and empty exam room, “Okay. I will be right back. I’m going to get the stuff to draw your blood.”

A couple minutes later everything was done. Jo was putting pressure on the needle stick as she pulled it out and laid a bandaid on it. She let out a breath, “Mer, what am I going to do? What if I’m pregnant again? It’s too soon. Max is only four months old. How do I tell my husband that we’re having another baby months after I gave birth to the first one? We’re just starting to get used to a routine.”

“First of all, you need to calm down. Let’s not worry about anything until we have answers,” Meredith attempted ease Jo’s worries. “And secondly, a baby is a good thing. You and Alex both want lots of kids, you know that. Yeah, it might be earlier than you expected, but he won’t be mad. So don’t be scared about that. He’ll be ecstatic.”

“Yeah. You’re right. He’s been trying to knock me up for years. Ever since my fourth year of residency. He’ll be happy,” Jo tried convincing herself that it would all be okay.

“Come on, let’s go. We’re going to be late for rounds. The results should be in my the time we’re done and I’ll be with you when you find out,” Meredith rubbed a comforting hand on Jo’s shoulders as they walked out into the hallway.

*****

Jo had just finished rounding on her last patient when she quite literally bumped into Alex. Alex held out his hands to steady her, “Woah, careful princess. Be glad you ran into me and not a patient.”

“Sorry,” Jo offered. “I’m just... in a rush. You haven’t seen Meredith have you?”

“Nope,” Alex shook his head. He narrowed his eyes and looked at Jo for a moment. “Are you okay? You seem... distracted. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine,” Jo forced a smile on her face. “I do really need to find Meredith, though, so I’m gonna go...”

“Uh huh,” Alex nodded as his wife ran away awkwardly.

Jo ran off to the supply closet where she and Meredith first met that morning in hopes of finding her there. She waited for a couple minutes before Meredith ran through the doors with an envelope, “I’ve got the results back from the lab. Do you want to do it or should I?”

“You do it,” Jo released a nervous breath. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open it.”

“Okay,” Meredith gave Jo a short nod and proceeded to open the envelope. She unfolded the paper and ran her eyes over the lab work with a blank expression on her face. Finally, Meredith looked up. “Well, Jo. You are most definitely pregnant.”

“Holy shit,” were the first words to leave Jo’s lips. She clasped her hands over her mouth, gasping at what she’d said. “I mean... actually, yes I mean holy shit. I’m pregnant?”

“Yup,” Meredith smiled sympathetically. “Probably somewhere around the 4-5 weeks range from your levels.”

“Freaking Karev and his weirdly fertile sperm,” Jo grumbled. “This is the second time he’s knocked me up on the first try. Except this time, we weren’t even actually trying.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Meredith laughed. “He’s been talking about all the kids you guys will have since you got married. He’s very eager.”

“Well, if he keeps doing what he’s doing, at this rate we’ll end up with like six kids,” Jo rubbed a hand on her forehead. “I need to lay down. But I have surgery in 30 minutes.”

“How about you go take a nap in an on-call room and I’ll take your first surgery. I don’t have anything scheduled until 2pm anyway and was going to see if I could scrub in with you,” Meredith suggested.

“Thanks,” Jo nodded and made her way to an on-call room. She’d been sleeping for what must’ve been an hour when she heard the door creek open.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize there was anyone in here,” the person apologized. “Hold on... Jo is that you?”

Jo turned and came face to face with her husband. In his arms was their four month old son, “What the hell? Do you do this? Take him out of daycare during your free time to hang out in the on-call rooms?”

Alex looked like a kid who’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, “Yeah... usually I walk around the peds wing with him strapped to my chest, but there’s a clown going around and he doesn’t deserve to be traumatized from such a young age.”

Jo busted out in laughter, “That might just be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said. You are the best dad.”

“Thanks,” Alex said, a shy smile creeping onto his face. He never planned on telling Jo about his routine of taking Max out of daycare, but honestly, it felt good knowing that she thought what he did made him a better dad. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a surgery this morning?”

“Oh... um, Meredith took it. I was feeling tired so she offered to take my surgery so I could lay down,” Jo explained.

“Are you sick?” Alex sat down next to Jo and placed a hand on her forehead.

“No. I just... didn’t sleep well last night,” Jo admitted.

“Yeah I noticed,” Alex nodded. “You were really restless all night long. You only get like that when you’re stressed. What’s bothering you?”

As much as Jo loved how attentive her husband was, this was one of those moments where she wished that he’d just turn a blind eye. Taking in the quiet of the on-call room and the calming sensation of holding her baby in her arms, Jo figured that there were worse places to disclose this information. She took a deep breath, “I’m pregnant.”

Alex raised his eyebrows and grinned, “I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out.”

“Wait... what?” Jo scrunched her face in confusion. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” Alex scoffed. “I figured it out a week ago. I was trying to see how long it would take you to realize.”

Jo’s jaw dropped in disbelief, “You thought something was up and you didn’t tell me!”

“I didn’t want to freak you out,” Alex confessed. “Max is only four months old and we weren’t planning on having another until he was at least two years old. So when you started having symptoms, I kept my mouth shut because I felt bad for knocking you up again so soon.”

“I was scared to tell you because I was afraid you’d freak out that I got pregnant not even six months after having the first one,” Jo laughed. “Oh my God. We’re having another baby.”

“We’re having another baby,” Alex smiled widely and took Max into his hands. “You hear that Max? You’re gonna be a big brother pretty soon.”

“He has no idea what’s coming for him,” Jo chuckled. She reached out to stroke Max’s hair and then leaned her head on Alex’s shoulder. “I love you. I know this wasn’t supposed to happen so soon, but I’m happy about it because I know that we can do this. We can do it together.”

“Hell yeah we can,” Alex kissed Jo’s forehead lightly. “And for the record, I love you more.”

[suga-kookiemonster]

I saw you mention you have an IUD. I'm thinking about getting one, if you feel comfortable with it, would you mind telling me a bit about your experience with it ? (getting it done, what it's like etc) totally fine if not, thank you :)

i have the hormonal iud--i’m officially on my second one 🙌🏾 hormonal iud (mirena) lasts 5 years before needing to be replaced, and if you go for the copper one, that one lasts 10 years. i chose to go with the hormonal one because i had been taking bc pills for, like, 10 years up until that point to help regulate my period. i was intrigued about the idea of foolproof birth control that i did not have to take everyday, had the possibility of getting rid of my period, and whose hormones would stay centralized in my uterus (instead of bc pills, whose hormones hit your bloodstream, and therefore your whole body). i also chose the hormonal one because the copper one, though it lasts longer and is hormone free, has a reputation of making cramps worse and period flows heavier. no thanks 😭

also, i remember deciding to give an iud a try because ACA made it 100% free, whereas my birth control pills would still be, like, $10-$15 a month. i figured why not give it a try, it’s free and i don’t have to keep remembering to take a pill or fill a prescription lol

i lucked out and i was one of the 20% whose period stopped completely on mirena. i still get period symptoms every month--sore breasts, some pimples, mild cramping--but i do not bleed beyond light spotting, if at all. it’s wonderful LOL. and i literally don’t have to think or worry about birth control again for 5 years. if i ever decided i wanted to get pregnant, my gyno can just yank on the strings and i can get pregnant as soon as its out.

now, all that being said, insertion is no walk in the park. it hurts like a BITCH. but the 30 seconds of discomfort i felt were clearly well worth the 5 years of worry-free birth control i got, because i went and got another one when the first one had to be taken out 😭 i will say that the anticipation for the insertion was almost worse than the insertion--my blood pressure was high af both times because i was stressing 🤣 and the first time i made the mistake of doing what i always do and researching other people’s experiences. DON’T DO THAT. the internet will have you out here thinking you’re about to die, y’all. the horror stories i read 😭😭😭😭 if you’re thinking about getting one, please don’t read that stuff, it will only stress you out 😭😭 obviously do your research, but keep in mind that people are more likely to write a bad review than a good one. don’t look on reddit, for the love of god 😭

[tmitransitioning]

NSFW: I looked but didn't see if this was asked before (if it was, sorry + lmk). I'm an afab guy on nexplanon. I have frontal penetrative sex with a cis man and NEVER want to get pregnant, but would also REALLY like not having "the bleeds". Nexplanon was great about that the first go around (and even the first year the second time), but now I have the bleeds back in full force (v painful/irregular/max heavy). When I went to Planned Parenthood about it they said that happens sometimes. (1 🏳️‍🌈)

I have to get my bc replaced this year anyway, so I was thinking of going with something else. Tho I'd rather just get a hysto, I just don't think I could do that before then (no clue how anyway). Copper IUDs supposedly can cause MORE bleeding/cramps, and I obvs don't want anything with estrogen in it. I can't trust myself to remember pills or anything, so I wanna go for something long-term like the nexplanon. Problem is, the other IUDs also have progestin like the implant. (2🏳️‍🌈)

On PP's site it warns about what I'm going thru with the implant (didn't use to), but doesn't for the progestin IUDs even tho it's supposedly the same hormone. Does this mean IUDs would potentially treat me the same as the implant, or maybe be different (and therefore worth trying) because different amount/location of hormone or smth? Ofc you don't know my medical history and everyone's different, but I thought it might be worth asking. Thanks in advance, and hope you're doing well (3/END🏳️‍🌈)

---

nope, all long term BC including IUD have this risk, BUT the longer you stick with it, it tends to taper off (worse in the first 6  months, better after 1 year, most people experience only spotting or almost nothing after that).   I can’t quite understand if you had issues as your nexplanon as it was wearing off, (normal and expected) or during the whole time of your second implant (unfortunate but also sometimes normal).  If it’s only happening to you as the nexplanon is wearing off (near the end of its useful life) then it’s less of a concern.  your body’s having withdrawal bleeding- it’s trying to “wake back up” after being on the hormones for so long, and it does so like an angry bear hibernating.  if it’s happening the entire time you’re on the hormones, it might just be that your body and the hormones aren’t cooperating- but you could also go on additional progesterone orally to help control the excess bleeding- it’s not uncommon to get that done. 

All IUDs have increased risk of cramping and bleeding (there’s something in your uterus) but that calms down after it’s been in for a while.  Other options include the shot- but it’s not a great option if you’re going to need something for more than 5 years.  You could also check into options like an endometrial ablation (it really just works to control the excess bleeding- but if you’re certain you’ll never have kids biologically- it basically removes the lining of your uterus so you can’t bleed.  since you’re complaining of very painful, heavy periods, you’d likely be a candidate.  the link has a “find a doctor” search, and you can learn more about the procedure, but i can’t guarantee the trans-competence of the providers you find (check your PP if they offer it) It would be covered on insurance if you have any because it is a procedure to treat excessive bleeding and painful periods. 

mod mayhem

[ssironstrange]

sometimes... i really wish i could claim disability. like, i know i’m not disabled and those who are need it way more, but still. like 80% of the time i seriously struggle to work like a normal person.

both of my feet are seriously fucked up. one from a past major trauma that i’ve shown the scar of on here, the other from overcompensating for that which has caused a permanently torn ligament along the bottom of the foot so if i happen to take a step wrong it’ll flare up and i won’t be able to walk.

because of that, i have a very unfortunate weight distribution on my feet and being on them longer than 6 hours literally has me in tears by the time i get home. and i can’t just get super soft shoes or anything because of that torn ligament. i have to wear very minimal shoes, meaning there is very little between the ground and my foot and the shoe itself has to move with my foot almost as if i’m not wearing them at all. otherwise the way the shoe makes me walk will tear that ligament.

that, in turn, greatly impacts my knees and hips. i’ve got genetically bad knees already. both my grandmother and mother had knee surgeries in their teens and 20s (my mom has had 4 surgeries on the left including a replacement, and 3 on the right.) and the only reason i haven’t is because i didn’t live quite as hard as they did growing up. but still, they’re bad. i’ve had mild arthritis in them since i was a young teenager and now the cartilage is starting to go. like, they’re so bad (and my personal trainer didn’t believe me) that after 2 lunges something in there goes haywire with sharp pains and i’m down for at least a week or more while it heals. being in shoes that have next to no shock absorption is brutal on my knees. hips too, but not nearly as bad.

i have PCOS which comes with its plethora of issues, probably the worst for me is the hypoglycemia. i honestly don’t know what the fuck i’m going to do when my IUD is removed next year. it’s kept my periods at bay. thankfully i’m not as bad as some with PCOS but it does take just about every last bit of my energy out of me when i do have them. 

my doctor and i still aren’t sure what it’s connected to, but i also have raynaud’s syndrome. typically it’s not a big deal unless i’m exposed to cold, but these last two jobs thats been the case. plus i have very poor circulation to my hands and feet - always have and we don’t know why - so that helps matters none.

i have asthma, which means i have compromised ability to draw air into my lungs. i get very winded very easily because i simply can’t take deep breaths. and this is everyday for me and has been since i was a little kid. when it gets really bad i have to use my rescue inhaler. and i hate using it because that shit is like pure speed and will make your heart race like you just ran a marathon and physically jittery and shaky and weak.

though my insomnia is hugely improved compared to what it used to be, i still have it pretty bad. good nights i get 5-8 hours of sleep which i can function fine on. many times i’m only getting 2-4 hours, and those are the days i’m chugging energy drinks and coffee on top of taking my adderall just to be able to function like a semi-normal human being.

then theres the mental issues.

depression, while handled with medication, is always dragging me down and draining my energy. it’s a fucking struggle to get out of bed many days, and not just because i’m tired.

anxiety is the real culprit though. it is fucking exhausting to my very core to be around people all day every day. i’m constantly stressed even if nothing bad is happening. mine is both general and social anxiety. plus the perk of being an introvert in an extrovert's world.

my ADD is astoundingly bad. thank god for adderall but still. that comes with its own issues. and while i can at least stay focused while on meds, it doesn’t particularly do anything to help with my ever degrading memory. most of the time i’m just forgetful, which is something all of us ADD/ADHD people have in common. but sometimes it’ll cause a straight up blank space where memory should be. it’s not that i forgot it, its that there was never any memory there at all to begin with, which is distressing.

and then theres just a metric shit-ton of other issues i have that lead me to believe i’m on the austism spectrum somewhere but who knows since i’ll never be able to afford getting evaluated with a specialist.

so... yeah. i may not be disabled but fuck i’d almost rather be than have to constantly deal with all of this shit on any given day. and the worst thing is most people can’t even see these issues, so it gets dismissed or they don’t believe me or just straight up don’t care since it isn’t noticeable.

it’s just... exhausting being exhausted all the time.

[tessishavingabitofablog]

Woman-ly troubles

Due to circumstances beyond my control, my birth control prescription ran out.

Yeah yeah I know, it’s up to me to be on top of my health and deal with things like an adult. But the prescription was from college and I didn’t want to go to the gynecologist. I was scared! I’d never been. And I know that being a 25-year-old woman and having never gone to the gynecologist is bad. Believe me, I know. But I never had an issue until recently. 

So back to the current time. My periods came back. They weren’t full force to start, they were fairly light and only three days long. But as time continued they got heavier. And longer. And I started to notice that my migraines consistently lined up with the start of my period. I was able to deal with them at first, but they kept getting worse to the point of me having to stay home for two days straight due to pain. 

About a month ago, I said enough is enough. I will suck it up and go to the gynecologist. (Also I’m turning 26 soon so I need to get most medical things done before I am kicked off my parent’s insurance)

And I did. 

And it was fine! nothing to be afraid of. I told the nurse and the nurse practitioner upfront that it was my first appointment, and they were more than accommodating. She explained everything before she did it. I was not scared at all. When she heard about my heavy periods and migraines she agreed that I needed to go on some kind of hormonal birth control. She really wanted to put me on the pill again, but I am very bad at taking my medication at the same time every day, and I had issues with refills never being the same medication. I decided to ask about more long term solutions, which would be great for me to not take medication every day, and the added bonus of birth control lasting for 5 years. She had to run tests and talk to my insurance, but we agreed that Mirena would be a good option. She also talked about Nuva Ring and Nexplanon as options, but the ring has to be replaced once a month, and nexplanon is implanted in your arm. Easy to install, but not fun to remove. There was also the patch, but again it needs to be replaced on a regular basis. These options were not the best for me, but they are great options. My sister has an IUD and it seemed like a good option for me. The nurse practitioner also referred me to a few primary care physicians to assist with my migraines and because I didn’t have one. I am a terrible adult. 

My pap smear results came back normal as well as testing for STIs that are necessary for IUD placement. The biggest issue was my insurance. Apparently, my family has not met our deductible for the year. Which I guess should have been expected. We have had a fairly healthy year and thinks like my psychiatrist and therapist are out of network, so I pay for those out of pocket. Which sucks but has to happen. With all that in mind, they weren’t going to cover the placement. I called my parents and my mother decided that we should pay for it out of pocket due to the severity of my migraines. It pained me to do that to my family, as without insurance, the IUD costs $1100, placement costs $300, and then the tests associated with it costs around $40. So all in all, around $1440. That’s a pretty penny. I called the doctor’s office back and they were able to get me on the schedule the same week. They advised me to make sure that I ate a good meal before coming in and take 600mg of ibuprofen before the placement. 

I had a long week of family obligations, including my grandfather’s 40th high school reunion, before the appointment day arrived. That day I had therapy at 11 am, IUD placement at 2 pm, and the Jonas Brothers concert at 7:30pm. My sister and mother were very concerned that going to the concert would be a bad idea, but that was not something I was going to miss. After my sister had her IUD placed, twice, she passed out. One time she had to come back because they couldn’t place it. I went to therapy and my therapist was proud of how I’m taking control of my health. I am too I realized. Here I am, being an adult! Taking my health into my own hands and saying enough is enough with these migraines. Enough is enough with heavy bleeding!

Before my appointment, I took 800mg of ibuprofen instead of 600, since I knew I needed to be able to walk home after the appointment. I had a turkey burger and fries, with fabulous black truffle mayo. I walked into the appointment around half an hour early, as I had nowhere else to be. They had me pee in a cup to take a pregnancy test, luckily I had been drinking water all day to keep pain down and to try and drown out the accidental caffeine that I had that morning. The nurse led me into a procedure room, which was basically the same as any gynecology exam room. They told me the test came back negative, which I already knew it would. The nurse had me sign a waiver after telling me the risks, such as potential uterine perforation, having it fall out, bleeding, cramping, etc. I signed the waiver after a brief moment of pause. 

She had me undress from the waist down, and put a menstrual pad on the counter, as bleeding occurs after placement. After a few moments, the nurse practitioner came in and talked to me about the risks, the procedure, and what to expect in general. She had me sit on the table with my butt on the edge and my feet in the stirrups. She first checked my uterus physically, before inserting the speculum. She applied iodine inside to prevent infection. The next part was honestly the bit that hurt the most, and that was measuring my uterus to make sure that the Mirena would fit. I don’t know exactly what instruments were used, but it was not a pleasant feeling, made my breath catch in my throat. I did some deep breathing and made it through. After telling me my uterus was 1 cm larger than necessary for the Mirena, it was time for insertion. According to her, sometimes the cervix clamps shut after measuring, as it doesn’t like being forced open. She was having trouble but wasn’t forcing her way in. I realized I might be able to help if I take more deep breaths. I took a deep breath in and on my exhale, tried to physically relax my body. It worked! The pain was less than with the measuring. After that, she had to trim the strings and that was all. 

I wasn’t in any tremendous pain and got up slowly from the table. I easily left the office feeling only mild cramping. I stopped at CVS and picked up some thermacare patches in case I needed it for the concert. I went home and took a nap. When I woke up a few hours later, I still was not in any pain, thank goodness and headed out to dinner with my sister. I took some more ibuprofen and was 100% fine for the rest of the day. 

The only time I felt more pain was a dull aching cramp the next day, but that was after walking for 4 miles and trying on multiple dresses and shopping. I am now four days out and am experiencing some light spotting and a cramp here and there. The nurse said that cramping is normal as your cervix doesn’t like being opened. 

I have my appointment with the physician in early October, and I am feeling very accomplished. 

[iolitewitchcraft]

Something I Wish They'd Told Me About My New IUD

I know this is a bit of a different topic for this blog, but I have a lot of followers here, so I'm hoping this reaches someone who needs to see it - or perhaps someone who's experienced the same thing I have. I just think it's good to start a conversation about this sort of thing, since it's still somewhat taboo to talk about, but so, so important!

I'll start by saying I'm not new at all to hormonal birth control - I've been on it since I was 14, and I've tried multiple brands of the pill, the Nuvaring, and the Jaydess (Skyla in the US) IUD previously. I've had a good experience with all of them, and no major side effects.

So when it came time to replace my Jaydess, I decided it was time for something a bit longer-term. Not wanting to move away from a hormonal method, I chose the Liletta: a 5-year hormonal IUD, essentially equivalent to the more popular Mirena, but with a slightly lower price tag.

Without health insurance, I paid a grand total of $1200 for the whole process through Planned Parenthood. Ah, America.

But still a good investment, right? And when it came time for my first period after having it inserted, I had a huge surprise: for the first time, my hormonal birth control had actually stopped my period entirely. Right off the bat I didn't have to dread my monthly black-pants-and-old-underwear week anymore. I happy-danced my whole way through that week with nothing more than a panty liner. I felt like one of those women in feminine hygiene product commercials who wear white flowy skirts and skip alongside butterflies. My new IUD was awesome.

Until the second month.

I suddenly started getting panic attacks. Bad panic attacks. Blacking-out-from-hyperventilating kind of panic attacks. I thought I was dying (I know, standard panic attack stuff, but it's scary!) - I had chest pain, nausea, the whole shebang. I thought I was having a full-on heart attack (in my 20s!).

And the worst part is they never stopped. Suddenly, I'm always on edge: I can't sit for too long, nor can I drink my beloved coffee. Because both of those things, and numerous others, suddenly have the ability to reduce me to a non-functional wreck, incapable of thinking about anything else aside from I am literally dying right now.

Desperate to figure out what was going on, I did some research - and it turns out I'm not alone at all. There are a ton of individual accounts of women who have suddenly developed severe anxiety after having their new Mirena placed. And despite "nervousness" being listed as a common side effect, I was never made aware that it could cause such crippling panic attacks, seemingly out of nowhere - and neither were these other women.

Many of these accounts that I've read ended with the IUD being removed after only a few months. But $1200 down, I'm not sure that's the best choice either - it would only cost more to take it out, and then I'd be stuck birth-control-less again. Thankfully, and with help, I've been able to develop some coping techniques for dealing with this confusing new part of my life (including giving up coffee, which has led to much lamenting to my incredibly patient boyfriend... I do love my Starbucks).

I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is. Maybe it's just to get a conversation going, or at least let some unsuspecting person out there be aware of this possibility when choosing a birth control method. Either way, it's important for women everywhere to share their experiences and be heard.

[fuckyeahsexeducation]

Getting your IUD switched out

I got my Mirena four years ago. Right now the Mirena is approved for five years and they are currently working on approving it for more. I chose to get mine replaced a little early because my periods were starting to come back. It’s relatively common for your periods or spotting to start back up on the four or five year mark. Because I have really bad periods and experience gender dysphoria during my periods I wanted to get a new one in ASAP. 

If you’d like to read my guide to getting an IUD inserted you can read it here. The procedure for getting it taken out is very similar and many of the same recommendations still apply. I’d definitely still recommend having a buddy, although it isn’t necessarily as bad coming out as it is going in. 

At the clinic I went to they didn’t have the Mirena available, only the Liletta and Kyleena. Liletta is approved for 4 years, Kyleena for 5. They are also currently working on approving Liletta for longer so my doctor said that by the time the 4 years are up they’ll probably have it approved for longer. Despite only being recommended for Liletta, and it being a little bigger than Kyleena, is because Liletta has a higher amount of hormones that more closely resemble Mirena. Because I use the IUD to end my periods and I know the Mirena does that I was hoping to get the IUD that most closely matches it. 

Below is a detailed recount of my experience. It can get a bit graphic, if you’d like I put the main steps in bold so you can get the gist by just reading that

Once we got the preliminary pregnancy test and consultation over with I was left to take off my pants and get ready for a pelvic exam. It is important for the doctor to take a look and see if they think you may have a vaginal infection before insertion so let them know if you have had any symptoms! This is because if there is an infection while putting in the IUD there is a chance of the infection to spread to the uterus. Turns out I had a yeast infection. Because it had been so hot and muggy apparently a bunch of people had come in with yeast infections so it wasn’t a big surprise. What that meant though was I had to come back a couple weeks after I took antifungals to get rid of the infection.

A couple weeks later I went back and we were finally ready for the insertion. The doctor asked if I was okay having a student come in to observe the process. I said yes because of course I am all about that learning. Know that you should always let your doctor know if you are uncomfortable. My doctor let me know that she likes using the smaller speculums and trying to be as careful as possible. It’s a good idea to tell your doctor if you experience vaginal pain easily, if you’ve experienced any trauma, or if you’re nervous so that they can help you out. 

One thing I liked about having a student attend is that the doctor detailed everything going on. That was a fun thing for me, but I know that wouldn’t have been fun for a lot of people. The disadvantage to the student is that the doctor wanted her to try some things on me to learn which meant some things happened twice. The actual taking out and putting the IUD in was handled by the doctor though which was very good.

First the doctor and student checked on my uterus and pelvis by inserting two fingers into the vagina and pressing on various points on my belly/pelvic bone to see if there was any tenderness. 

Then the doctor inserted the speculum and located the cervix. On the student’s turn they had trouble finding it which meant they moved the speculum quite a lot and that was not pleasant. Once the doctor helped her find my cervix I breathed again. So far, not much different than a regular pelvic exam. 

After they located my cervix they inserted a device to clamp down on the cervix to hold it in place. This is what felt like a pinch. They put on the stuff to numb the cervix and waited a bit before going on. I was told later that the clamping can cause the cervix to bleed a bit, so this can cause some of the irritation you’ll feel later. 

Using the strings they were able to pull the IUD out. She showed it to me. I am sad I didn’t think to keep it. You could definitely feel the arms of the “T” come down and then the IUD slide out. It’s not exactly painful, but really weird feeling. If you’re just getting the IUD removed this is as far as you go. They unclamp your cervix and you should probably sit back and relax for a minute before standing up and going about your day.

If you’re getting a new one inserted the next step is to put a sound into the cervix. A sound is a tiny cylandrical object that helps dilate the uterus a tiny bit to help insert it. Sometimes they’ll need to use other methods to help dilate you, but sometimes that is enough. Another reason they use this is that it can go through the cervix into the uterus and it helps them measure the uterus to know where to place the IUD. I found out my uterus is 8 cm, which is perfectly average. Not gonna lie, this part was uncomfortable. The actual going in the uterus wasn’t bad, but once it reached the top of my uterus it kind of hurt and the sensation kind of spread like a wave. What sucked for me is I had to go through it twice, first the doctor did it, then the student. The student apparently didn’t go in far enough so the doctor basically told her to shove it in more and that didn’t feel good. Pretty sure I made a little sound at that point.

When they are able to get an accurate measure of the uterus they use the applicator device to put the IUD in. This is really the most painful part in my opinion, it just feels really weird and like something is definitely trying to move around in your uterus. 

After that they cut the strings that hang into the vagina so that they aren’t super long. If you find once you go home the strings are longer than you’d like you can go back and request they trim them a little more. Once you’ve had it for a year or so the strings tend to curl around your cervix out of the way.

This time around I knew what to expect and I stayed laying down. The doctors let me be for a while to let me lay down a bit then with their help sit up. I sat for a while before eventually cleaning up, getting dressed, and sitting back down again. I wore loose pants but where it lay against my belly still hurt. Definitely if you can, wear a dress. Had to hold the seat belt away from my belly while riding home too. Just take it easy and don’t plan to do anything strenuous for a day after. I spotted a bit for a day and I’m still a little sore but it is definitely worth it!

[sonickitty]

IUD insertion under anesthesia

Hey there! Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’d rather not puke and writhe for days after having a little piece of plastic forcibly shoved up my cervix?”

Well, basically, getting a little piece of plastic forcibly shoved up your cervix and into your internal organs is always going to be excruciating. BUT! anesthesia will alleviate the otherwise traumatically painful process of having the IUD inserted. 

IUDs are amazing. It’s the one thing that’s enabled me to live a normal life, not interrupted every month by cramps that feel like kidney stones. The IUD also stopped me from bleeding entirely, which was great for my gender dysphoria. 

HOWEVER! IUDs are bananas painful to get inserted, and a lot of doctors are not even a little forthcoming about this. I don’t know exactly what’s fueling this dishonesty about pain, but here’s what I recommend if you’re looking to get an IUD.

MY RECOMMENDATIONS

1. IUD insertion is painful. Some people are able to walk out of the procedure same day, some aren’t. I was not, my partner was, but he did have to cut back his hours at work that day. 

2. For context, what I’ve heard from friends who have gotten IUDS: “My friend went into cervical shock,” “It was worse than my c-section,” “I couldn’t get past the ‘prepare for insertion’ stage,” and “I have to get my IUD replaced and the thought of the procedure alone is painful.” 

3. Talk to your doctor very seriously about pain management. “Motrin” is not pain management. If your doctor brushes you off, (tell them to get fucked) and try to make your own arrangements. I’m talking a lot of weed, my guy. 

4. You’re probably going to want to go home and get in bed after this procedure. Don’t plan on going back to work. If you can get back to work, it’s a nice perk. Also, plan to have someone come with you to take you home, or at least pick you up. I was not able to drive myself home, and my partner and his friend had to come pick up me, and my car. 

5. My first experience with IUD insertion was so painful, pap smears make me cry now. I had a panic attack the day after my insertion thinking about how much it hurt. I’m not saying this to be scary, but in my experience, doctors are not up front about how this feels, and you should be prepared. 

6. Again, IUDs are amazing. Extremely effective birth control for up to 5 years, they often stop periods entirely, they’re very low-risk, and speaking personally, I’ve had no negative side effects. 

WHAT DO ABOUT PAIN? 

Ask to get your IUD inserted while under anesthesia. It might be a long-shot, depending on your doctor. I went to Dr. Rachel Barr in Manhattan, and she was immediately fine with it. Then again, she also asked me if I wanted a hysterectomy, so she’s a particularly awesome obgyn. She also told me that local anesthesia (numbing the cervix) has not tested well, and has generally been unsuccessful. You wanna be all the way out. 

Otherwise, I wasn’t joking about the weed. 

I WANNA BE ALL THE WAY OUT. 

Great idea! In addition to a chill doctor who will do the procedure, you’ll need approval from your insurance. This was really easy for me, but I have a friend who had to send letters to her insurance to get them to cover it, and it was a whole awful process. So talk to your doctor, but also see if you can get in touch with your insurance somehow. In my case, the hospital where my procedure was booked called me the same day I booked the procedure, and they let me know my insurance would be covering it, and how much I’d need to pay day of. 

HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY, THO? 

Well, I hadn’t put anything toward my deductible, so like, $2500. If you’re just getting the IUD, it’s not as expensive. And if you’ve already paid in to your deductible, you might have less to pay. 

[lifeblissfully]

It’s been a while.

I don’t know how many people actually come across my page or read the 2 posts that I actually have, but I just wanted to stop by. Kind of need to talk for a bit. 

If you’ve read the other posts you’d know that I am recently married. Everything that I am going to share this afternoon has been talked about with my husband, but a part of me feels that he doesn’t fully understand how I’m feeling. He might, but I feel as though when I talk about this stuff, he goes a little overboard. I can’t stop him and I appreciate him trying. 

Anyway, here it goes. 

TRIGGER WARNING (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome/pcos, infertility, child bearing, adoption, depression, anxiety, low sexual interest.)

When I was about 19, I had my period for 3 months straight. When I say that, people think “well, that is normal. You get it every month.” No, this was continuous bleeding from my vagina for 3 months with no end in sight and excruciating cramps. So, I said something to my mom that I had decided to go see my family doctor and see if there was something they could do. I did and they did tests and found that I had extremely high testosterone. So, they put me on birth control pills and Spironolactone (I probably misspelled that). At this time, I was taking Lexapro as an antidepressant. Something felt off, so I went back and told them that I was still bleeding, but also don’t feel right mentally. We decided to change the Lexapro dosage. Still no change. We then changed the medication and they put me on a new birth control. Again, no changes. We have now changed the antidepressant to Zoloft. I felt worse. I decided to go to an OB-GYN. I go, and they do more tests. They come to the same conclusion that my family doctor came to. I have extremely high testosterone. My doctor and I talk about trying a progesterone based IUD. She gave me some info on Skyla and Mirena. I did my research and decided on Skyla. A couple weeks later, she does the insertion and about a few days later, the bleeding stops. During all of this, i decided to stop taking my antidepressants. That probably wasn’t the best idea. 

Fast forward to me at 23. I have been dating my husband for several months. I’ve been pretty open with him about everything. I’ve moved in with him. We’re super happy. Talking about marriage and a family. He’s helped me through some painful periods since it is almost time for me to get my IUD replaced. October rolls around and I make my appointment and get it replace. Super painful cramps, but I make it through. We go on about our lives as normal, until June 2019 that is. In May, he went to a job fair to teach outside of Richmond, VA. That day, his current school wanted an interview. He’s keeping me updated while I’m back in Maryland at work. Move ahead a few days to a week later, he had picked me up from work and we were on our way home. He gets a call from his current school to offer him a job. We’re both so excited. We’ve been planning to move for about a year. We already have apartments picked out. We planted ourselves spiritually and found a church we enjoyed. We were ready. He moves in July and I am finishing up in Maryland. 

A few months later, I decided to find a family doctor to talk about going back on antidepressants and ADD medication. While talking to her, we talked about my symptoms from a few years ago. She looks at me dead in the eyes and said that’s all signs of PCOS. Keep in mind, I’ve been treated without any kind of diagnosis this whole time. I’ve basically been in limbo. So, my doctor asks if she can run a few tests. She finds extremely high testosterone and insulin resistance, two signs of Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I am now 24. I have gone this whole time without knowing. She suggests that I go to another OB-GYN since she couldn’t make a formal diagnosis for this. She refers me to a doctor’s office that she trusts. She also suggest telehealth psychiatry, but that’s a different story. So, I go to the doctor that she recommended. I fall in love with the care there. I talk to them about family planning and they tell me to come back when we are ready. January 2020 comes around. Time for the wedding. My husband and I talk it out and we decide that I will go off of my IUD in May so that we can see what happens. May comes and I go through the process of getting my IUD removed. Everything is fine. For now. 

Come July 15th, I finally start my period. I ask my doctor if it is normal to start that late. She says it is because of the IUD. She said to contact them if it goes longer than 2 weeks. It did. I go into the office. My doctor asks for blood work and an internal ultrasound. We do all of that and we have a virtual follow up because of COVID-19. She formally diagnoses me with PCOS. When I hang up with her I start to cry because this has been 6 years and several doctors later to finally know what’s happening. She, as well as another male doctor, start me on some medicine to try to stop the bleeding. Nothing works. We go through about 5 different ones. I finally have enough and make an appointment with the other doctor. I make the decision with my husband and we go back to the IUD. The doctor suggests Liletta. He says that it is a higher progesterone dosage. He also says that they don’t use Skyla very often anymore. The bleeding has since stopped. 

My husband and I always talked about adoption. Even if we can have our own. Now, it’s only adoption. He’s listened to me cry because I always wanted to have biological children and now at 25, I learn that with the way my periods are, it is almost impossible. It’s been a painful time. I am still dealing with it and we’ve known the official diagnosis since August. I go through adoptuskids.org every so often. I’ve fallen in love with several children and can’t wait until we are able to begin our foster to adopt process. 

There is still the issue of sex. This is going to be kind of a TMI section here. Just saying. 

My sex drive has plummeted in the past few months. I did some research and realized that it is a side effect of PCOS for some women. I just have no interest anymore. I feel gross all the time because I have gained so much weight from the hormones and it just sucks. I can hear it in his voice. It bothers him that I don’t want to anymore. I go back to my doctor in December for a follow up o my ADD meds. I plan to talk with her about this and see if there is something we can do.