#because this comes from an actual cover of the book
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Safe Haven
Pairing: Mr. Crawling x reader
Warnings: canon-typical violence and gore (only a few mentions), pure fluff, Mr. Crawling being a cutie pie.
Words: 1k
Summary: Despite the horrors you saw in the other dimension, bringing one of them home actually seems like a good idea.
P.S. To all of you who love soft!yanderes, I recommend playing Homichiper IMMEDIATELY
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"I'm home. "
You turn the lock on the door, smiling from ear to ear when you hear hurried steps paired with a "clack" of a cane. Goodness, he's getting faster with every day, you think as you watch a walking giant wrapped into a fuzzy white bathrobe emerge from the corridor. His impossibly long hair is loose and a little damp, and for a second, it feels he came straight from a horror movie. It makes you laugh.
"Dear!"
He almost runs into you, his cane clicking aggressively against the floor, and you giggle like a schoolgirl on her first date. His embrace feels so warm, his gentle hands rubbing your back as he kisses the top of your head.
Everything about him feels like home.
"I cooked a potato soup," he breathes out, excited to share his little news, "and baked a meat pie! And then I read a book. And then me take bath..."
He gets a little red when he realizes his old speech patterns are getting back, but you're quick to divert his attention, dropping a kiss to his nose. Poor man gets even redder and kisses you, too, immediately helping you take off your coat and giggling with embarrassment. He's one weird gentleman but a gentleman, nonetheless.
"I'm glad you had a good day," you wink at him, picking up your grocery bag. Today, you bought his favorite tea, and you know how excited he will get to brew it himself.
When you escape a hollow, depraved world, even the simplest of things will make you weep. Once you have returned to your apartment, barely alive and scared to your wits' end, making a cup of tea felt like a miracle. It's hard to imagine how bizarre the whole concept seemed to poor Mr. Crawling, who probably ate nothing but human or monster remains for as long as he was there.
You no longer speak of what happened in the monster realm. Needless to say, it took some time to come to terms with your little adventure and its outcome being a giant skinny monster now inhabiting your apartment. Not that you were all that bothered with the latter... Especially when you realized Mr. Crawling was not, in fact, a monster.
When you think of it now, it seems kinda stupid on your part. You were turning into one of those creatures yourself the longer you stayed there, and yet, somehow, it didn't click your lovely monster partner was human once. That he, too, had been a lonely soul who got stuck in that hellish limbo and had to transform to survive.
It was a huge surprise when he actually started speaking human language after of couple of days at your place. You first thought you misheard him.
Of course, it took him a long time to remember what it's like to be human: you've spent months gently nudging him in that direction, talking to him like to a child, showing him books and cartoons, turning on music and doing pretty much anything to help him turn back into his older self. Mind you, you also had to keep working to sustain the both of you, given you had no other income, and do the chores because Mr Crawling was absolutely clueless what to do. He was more of an in-house cat than a person at the time.
Still, it felt liberating when your monster partner finally started regaining his human memories and habits. You probably won't ever forget when he crawled to you, reaching out shyly to squeeze your hands in his, and mumbled, "M-me think... me think me called Gabriel..."
"Enough salt?" He nudges you gently, and you blink, coming back to your senses. His meat pie is so good it's really not the time to be reminiscing of the past.
You cover his large pale hand with yours as you smile, "It's perfect."
Embarrassed, he nods, looking into his own plate as you take another bite, wondering how lucky you got. Who else could have not only left another dimension filled with unspeakable horrors but also dragged the cutest of them with you?
Fed up with you stalling, he bends over to you and drops a kiss to your nose once more, letting out a high-pitched giggle. His black hair close around you like a curtain: you didn't have the heart to tell him to cut it. Now that he has become almost completely human, you somehow miss his monster appearance.
"I love you," you say all of a sudden, unable to keep it to yourself. Enveloping him in a hug, you press your face into his chest, listening to the subtle beating of his heart he had lost once. His bathrobe feels fuzzy and warm on your skin.
He says nothing at all, but in a second, he gently lifts you up from the kitchen chair only to put you down on his lap: despite turning human, he still remains ridiculously tall and strong. Not that you complain, melting in his embrace as he rubs his nose against your temple, his tender hand on your back. Against all odds, there's nothing you dislike about him. Even putting aside all his heroic acts to protect you in the other world, he seems like a pure, gentle soul who would always prioritize your safety and comfort above all else. You can't understand why he chose to help you the moment he saw you, but you don't feel like it's important. All these months, your only mission was to give him home, to pay him back for everything he's done for your sake.
Yet, somehow, it feels like both of you found home in each other.
#homicipher#mr crawling#homicipher mr crawling#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#homicipher vn#otome game#yandere
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Sweet Steb headcanons (some pertain to reader being from Zaun)
He’s a big cuddler. He won’t let you sleep until you’ve cuddled with him for a bit. He’s usually the big spoon because he loves holding you, but sometimes he has a rough day at work and you’re the one to cuddle him
He goes out of his way to learn about the life of the Underground, and how Zaunites have been treated. He’s always been sympathetic to the Underground’s cause and is a rare example of someone from Topside who supports Zaun’s independence
He always lets you have the first shower for the warm water, but sometimes you insist he go first or get in with you
Loves bubble baths, emphasis on the bubbles. He will sit in one for hours
He takes you topside to watch sunsets
If you’re Topside, he always has an extra protective manner of you because he knows some Pilty’s might try to insult you
He only speaks when he’s in private with you, or whispers very softly in public. Most of the time in public, he uses sign language. He keeps a note pad on him for those who don’t know sign, and you’re his translator for people who don’t know sign and can’t read
He loves showing you off to his friends
If you’re craving something he goes and gets it for you and prepares it for you
Loves bringing you breakfast in bed
Loves waking up with you in his arms
When he isn’t on night shifts, you and him lay on the couch together, you in his arms, and you read a book together
He asks for positions closer to/in Zaun for 2 reasons. 1 - he wants to be closer to you and possible see you on his shift. 2 - he wants to make sure there’s not one of the bad enforcers down there; those who are from the undercity and know him trust him and tell other zaunites that he’s a good enforcer
On his breaks he always goes to meet up with you and gives you little treats like candy or gum or an ice cream cone
When you’re sick, he takes the entire time off and does everything he can to help you feel better and recover faster
On nights where he gets off late, or days where he gets off in the early morning, he always is very gentle when getting under the covers, and at first he’d actually just sleep on a couch or chair to avoid waking you, though you complained when you kept waking up without him so he started risking waking you up
Very sincere apologizer and makes up for his mistakes, always listens to you intently
Probably more to come
#arcane#league of legends#steb arcane#steb#arcane league of legends#steb my beloved#steb imagine#arcane steb#steb my love#steb the sweet
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PAC : Am I the only 'main character' they’re vibing with ? (18+)
Honestly ... idk.
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Pile 1
They are flamboyant individual . Babe they are not playing with you. They are not taking ‘’no’’ as an answer. Yes, they have a lot of options but all they see is you. You have no idea how tunnel vision they are about you. Is borderline obsessive. Now the question is are they going to keep that energy when they have you ?
Am I the only 'main character' they’re vibing with ?
Yes.
What’s the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Drama
Run. I know that type too well. They are going to do everything right until… they know they bag you. The fact that you are untouchable is actually what’s making them crazy. I feel like that person has a lot of experience. They fucked with a lot of people from all age range. Then there’s you. Mission impossible. I feel like y’all have a good relationship with dad, if not your dad card gets swiped. Y’all may have nobody in your DM. Nobody ever came your way to deal with you. You are sitting down looking at yourself knowing you are not the problem. Face cards never decline, body is tea, nails stay done, you do your own hair. Especially the one that is dying their hair after a mental breakdown. You slay each color each time. It doesn't matter if you start the process at 2 am on a whim. You also do your own lashes or is a lash tech. Y’all also may be bald. Or you know damn well that pussy is the goat. Even if you are a virgin. You know your cookie would have these man hooks like is coke. The second that someone is going to have a taste of it … they are going to lose their mind. You, them and I know you were never the problem. That’s why people keep saying they are intimidated by you because you look like you won’t take bullshit, you have your own motion and your money is long … so what’s up. Their dick in their pants … girl ! Anyway the only reason they want you is to prove to their lame friend group that they got an insane game. They are going to cheat on you, play in your face and make you feel so bad whenever you would want to discuss your feelings. You are too pretty for that mess … NEXT, THANK YOU !
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
PILE 2
Am I the only 'main character' they’re vibing with ?
Yes.
What’s the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Drama.
Is giving baby mama/daddy drama. The person you are dealing with is in love with you. They care for you, they show in multiple ways. They keep texting you throughout the day. Always checking on you and the baby. Go to every appointment and even make sure you have more than enough money for the baby. They don’t just cover for the diapers, school books or clothes. They are paying for your hair, nails, clothes, food, and trip. Ask and they trick. They also like to spend time with you on a date without the kid. They love coming home and cuddling with you in front of a movie or one of your reality tv shows. They love touching you and making love to you. I feel like you want more. You want to be nastier. You want a pile 3 experience. Your partner can’t see you under that light. Something about you being the mother of their kids now so everything changes. Back then y'all used to get down. You were doing splits on the dick, you were riding from the side, you were vocal because the speed they used to go was animalistic. The issue is he would give you his left kidney but can’t be faithful for nothing. Not even God can come and ask that from him. They are out here clubbing and you are waking up lonely with a ‘’hey girly’’ text. You lost count of how many ‘’hey girly’’ texts you had. You stay with them because they are so loving and treat you like a princess. They are an amazing parent and you guys are a good team together but the cheating is insane.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
PILE 3
Am I the only 'main character' they’re vibing with ?
No.
What’s the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Chill.
You know they are not only dealing with you and you don’t give a fuck. You are only there for the dick/pussy. They way they fuck is too good. You: I know ! Just an insider; your boo thing is also dealing with his girl bff (yes… is time to have a gc meeting). Anyway you try all your sexual fantasies with them. Y’all love to use toys. He also buys you lingerie for some he also buys your weed or edibles. They will do what’s necessary to be in that wap and they quickly understand that you get nicer when you have a gift in your hand. They love to have their dick/strap come in and out of you. They love to have their fingers in your hole. Them: Is tight. Me: .. Sir/Miss please can I finish this reading in peace? You are the best they ever had. They love your face when you orgasm, they love to keep their face close to yours. They love swallowing your moans and kissing you. They love any position where they can hold you close. On the other hand, you prefer riding them, doing splits, teasing, giggling. You just like to feel and look like a pornstar that’s it. Y’all may film your experience and you act like is your personal Onlyfan. Ok Pile 2 gets nasty with it. Last insider: they would cuff you if you looked and acted like their bff because they are in love with your punani. I don’t even think you ever consider being with them. Just letting you know. So you don’t get dickmitize.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
PILE 4
Am I the only 'main character' they’re vibing with ?
Yes.
What’s the potential for drama vs. chill in this connection?
Drama.
Pile 4 not y’all being the drama. Nah, zion do it, zion, zion. Out here looking around. Give your 4 walls a break and focus on me. (Not me rizzing up on the ipod (plz tell me you got that niche reference … anyway)). Your person is going through it. First you guys are recently single and you were in a confusing/toxic relationship. They were out here judging your body all the damn time. Telling you were too fat or saying they could not last long in bed because you were not pretty enough. Whole time they look like a drawing inspired by someone's drunk memory. The worst is y’all are gorgeous and you big tits are always sitting pretty. You have an hourglass figure and it is not about being slim or thick. Is about having a proportionate silhouette. Hair goals : long and healthy have never been dyed. Y’all may have lip filler and is because of your ex but I think y’all recently took the filler out. Side note, y’all may look tall in your picture but you are actually very short. Anyway your older brother bff is doing their best to keep their hands to themself. They have been crushing on you forever and everyone knows it except the brother and you. Like even the parents can sense a vibe. You love teasing them, maybe you guys started texting like y’all use too and there’s a lot of sexual double meaning. A lot of sexual tension between y'all. They are calling you little names and they claim they care for you. Have real feelings but you won’t allow yourself to fall for it. Because of your past and the fact that this is your brother bff… hello ! Stop giving them the fuck me eyes in family settings. They already told you that but babe frl. Because next time they will pin you to a wall… I'm not joking. Relationship or not. You guys lowkey sext each other and you are always the instigator. You:want to see my new bras. Since they can’t resist … they expect just a picture of underwear nah is my girl milker in a beautiful colorful lace. Bye ! When they are drunk they love to text you and call you to sing their love to you . Everytime the next morning they come back nervous, hoping they did not scare you off. Anyway Pile 4, I’m not the one to advocate for man peace but please put that man out of his misery.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot cards#divination#18+ tarot#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#intuitive guidance#intuition#divine timing#divine guidance#free readings#free tarot readings#free tarot#black friday
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!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!
Apologies for the delay guys, just had a lot of things going on with my life, but let's get into it (Jack's Dream):
So we land in Night Raven College around the Fall Season, and you know how as we're traveling through dreams there's someone who suffers from side-effects? Well for Azul, he ended up passing out with his eyes open and no one noticed at first until they realized he was just staying still 😭. They managed to get him to wake up, and because of that Azul promises to take motion sickness medicine next time.
When the group used "Dream Form Change", Silver didn't recite it this time; because it turns out he already mastered it a long time ago, because he usually uses the spell when he oversleeps and wakes up late. So Sebek tries teaching Azul the whole spell that Idia made and Azul was just shocked, then Idia tells him that he doesn't get the otaku nature and that one must yell out a catchphrase. That's when Azul goes, "Well, you're the only one into those things anyways." BUT IDIA DEFENDS HIMSELF BY SAYING THAT EVERYONE IN STYX IS ALSO A GEEK 😂
But anyways, we got more lore from Idia that the spell we're using right now allows us to take on different forms in dreams. However if we were to do the same in real life, then one must need special permission from the Magic Agency.
Silver praises Azul for getting a hang of the spell quickly, but then Grim pipes in saying that Jamil mentioned that Azul was rotten but useful, that's when Sebek scolds Grim and tells him that he's just misleading Azul and what Jamil actually said is: that he doesn't like him but he's a dorm leader, so making him our ally would be useful AND AZUL JUST BECAME DEPRESSED LIKE THERE THERE BRO 😭 and Idia was not helping either because he just recounts the events of the previous update, even mentioning that Azul signed his tablet (which he tries to erase in a panic because he wants to forget about it)
Azul then tells the group that he feels bad about acting like that in front of star athletes (referring to Silver and Sebek). Of course, the two "star athletes" in question are confused and that's when Azul reveals that a video of Silver and Sebek competing in an equestrian competition went viral on Magicam, where netizens were calling them "princes" and stuff.
But since Silver and Sebek don't use the internet much (for the case of Sebek, he does have Magicam but only for the sake of communication) and thought that people were referring to their horses as princes (pls never change you two). This is where we learn that their horses are named Samson (for Silver) and Tempest (for Sebek). That's when Azul corrects them that the internet was referring to them as princes.
That's when Idia starts dissing sports clubs for getting that much attention but the board game club doesn't even get that much hype. But then Ortho replies that the board game club did end up in the local newspaper BUT WHEN THEY WERE TAKING A PHOTO IDIA COVERED HIS FACE WITH HIS HOODIE BWAHAHAHAHA
While the group is talking, Jack comes running in, telling them to get out of the way cuz he's running late. The bird is seen flying around him, signifying that we're in Jack's dream now. So the group follows him to the Coliseum where we see Savanaclaw and a lot of training equipment.
It turns out that Savanaclaw is training for the Inter-Dorm Magift Tournament (so the dream takes place around the events of Book 2) and bruh Dream!Leona's just acting like those typical sports anime protags where yeah he's disappointed about their loss against Diasomnia but they shouldn't waste their chances and there's still room for improvement yada yada yada
AND EVERYONE'S JUST LIKE NAWWW WHO TF IS THAT 😭😭😭. Everyone agrees that they have to wake Jack FAST.
The group's discussing about Jack's Dream when Sebek expresses that he still remembers the incident during Book 2,where he was not only worried about Malleus but with the other players as well (awww) and Azul's out here acting like he wasn't involved in it somehow and that he was shocked about Leona's plan (not awww)
Anyways yeah he deserves to be judged
So they start devising a plan on how to wake Jack up, and in the process talk about his role during the incident. Sure, he did go behind their backs for the greater good but it was most likely a difficult choice for him since he did look up to them :(( . It's unusual that a junior looks up to their senior, but even then Jack still chose to do what's right and we gotta admire him for that yknow.
Silver compares Jack's dream to Sebek's dream, stating how similar they are and Grim's just like "oh if that's the case why don't we punch him to wake him up" 😭
But that's when Idia comes up with the greatest plan of all: We challenge Savanaclaw in a Magift Match (featuring Idia in hologram form)
The entire scene literally feels like watching a sports anime because Azul manages to come up with a sob story about how Octavinelle and Ignihyde are working hard to make it to the Magift Top Spots and he really be pulling up the question if they still got a chance to Dream!Leona and he agrees like a sports anime rival 😭. So yeah we're given the chance to compete against and the group huddles up first and gives a little cheer
Btw this part's a rhythmic and let's just say you have the option to make Azul suffer even more than he should here 😭 (can't find the full rhythmic but there is a part where Azul just gets launched out of the frame)
Azul's already on the verge of passing out again, so Silver had to call for time-out. Ortho offered cooling spray while Sebek gave him water and then there's Idia who proceeds to make fun of him even bringing up his "athleticism" during his dream like bro that's so foul 😭🤚
In the meantime, Sebek tries to come up with a strategy that won't kill Azul in the process. What comes up is that Sebek will mark Leona, Silver will mark Ruggie, Ortho marks Jack, and Grim and Yuu will run around as decoys.
We're back into the game, and Sebek actually managed to put up a good fight against Leona but ends up throwing the disc out of bounds because he tripped. But then Dream!Leona went and helped him up??? and gave him constructive criticism???? Everyone went "Nahhh Leona would NOT do that".
Now we go to Ortho and Jack, with Ortho evading Jack as he's holding the disc. He also taunts Jack for not being able to catch up to him. So the entire game get so serious to the point that THEY REACH SPACE ONCE THEY JUMPED ???
So Ortho's plan this whole time was to drag Jack into space as a way to bring him back to reality. Why? Because Jack starts showing symptoms of waking up when he realized that he should have been dead by now since he's in space. That's when Jack talks about how he saw Leona play on TV 3 years ago changed him and how he enrolled into NRC just to play with him 😢. Then we get the end scene of Book 2 that finally woke Jack up like nooo :(((
JACK STARTS FALLING FROM THE FUCKING SKY AND EVERYONE PANICS. But thankfully Ortho changes into his Cerberus and catches him just in time. Jack starts crying because he realized everything was fake and that all he wanted was to be a player in Savanaclaw 🙁.
Shadows start to appear but we manage to defeat them. But then, Jack starts attacking us thinking that were also fakes as well. Azul tells him to look at his face and that they're in fact the real deal, but Jack wasn't buying it cuz he remembered he had beef with Azul 😭. That's when Idia's like "this happened because you aren't reliable bro" and Azul's just asking Ortho where Idia's power source so he can turn it off (i love Idia in this chapter man).
We let Jack watch the video and tell him the events leading up to where we are right now, and then he proceeds to pat Yuu and Grim's heads, praising them for making it this far. We also let Jack see his dream self, and yeah the first thing he does is comment on the areas he can work on (#priorities).
Jack and Sebek have a conversation alone, where Sebek expresses that he still holds a grduge against Savanaclaw over the events of Book 2 and Jack accepts it, telling him that he has every reason to be angry; and that left an impression on Sebek cuz that made him think that there's still good people in Savanaclaw.
And that's it for Jack's dream. I was already working on summary for this update but there's this big event going on in my university so I've been doing coverages for 3 days straight and I only just got to rest now (being a journ student is quite tiring) but yeah I will most likely have Ruggie's segment out by tomorrow.
Stay tuned then!
Next: Ruggie's Dream
(Note: This post is a summarized version of the update, info and pics comes from @/LBucchie and @/WitchDrug on x/twt, give them some support if you can)
#rany talks about twst#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#twst spoilers#diasomnia#sebek zigvolt#twst silver#ortho shroud#idia shroud#azul ashengrotto#jack howl#for those wondering: i am still alive but im just lurking#college is NOT cutting me slack when it comes to my free time
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The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 3
Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.
Blog version
For the Index, you can find it HERE
Previously: Shigemaru (Part 2)
⊛ ⊛ ⊛
Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 3)
As they advanced through the practical courses, the instructors relentlessly rejected the skills Shigemaru and his fellow commoners had. In Archery, they asked them to fix their stance, denying them the chance to even nock an arrow, and this was hardly the only subject where their basics—or lack thereof—got them scolded: they were stuck practicing blocking in Martial Arts, and in Swordsmanship all they did was relearning how to stand and hold their sword from zero.
Day after day, all they got were corrections. It was all how to hold their bows, the proper methods to block, and sword practice swings. Understandably enough, it had taken a toll on everyone’s motivation.
“...... You know, I’m really starting to suspect they're discriminating against us.”
The moment was after having gone through all practical courses at least once. By that point, their group study sessions had become a nightly event. To call it that was, however, a bit of an overstatement—in practice, they just came together to copy Yukiya's homework. They had gathered in Shigemaru and Yukiya’s dormitory room at first, but the number of petitioners had just kept on growing. Once the new additions to their group became more than three, they had no option but to change locations to an empty room instead.
Their little gathering was strictly composed of commoners from all kinds of places. There, facing his blank homework with a sullen look, was Kitsupei, a boy from the Eastern Region and the one who had just voiced his suspicions about discrimination. He had been the target of more corrections than anyone else during Swordsmanship that very day.
“What's up, all of a sudden?” Shigemaru looked up from his own homework, dropping his brush on the inkstone.
“There's nothing sudden about it!” Kitsupei complained. He seemed incapable of holding it in any longer. “I've thought about it from the start. Theory? I can still accept it, you know. After being in the same class, I can tell how smart Akeru and the others are.”
The problem lied in the practical courses. Commoners like them came to the Monastery because someone had recognized their sword skills or their physical prowess. Yet, in truth, they hadn’t even been given a chance to shine and just got reprimanded nonstop. It made him suspect—what if this was just silent harassment? What if they were trying to make them quit?
“But the instructors aren’t saying anything to Akeru and his followers. This is just unfair!”
Immediately, the other trainees jumped at the chance to air out their grievances, all in unanimous agreement.
“I’ve been thinking that as well.”
“Me too!”
“I was the best with a sword back home, and here I am! Stuck on simple practice swings!” Hisaya, quite prone to outbursts himself, pouted.
“If only they let us join free training, we could show them all we are capable of,” even Tatsuto, who wasn’t usually the kind to complain, joined in on the conversation.
“I bet Kashin is actually ridiculing us behind our backs!” a furious Kitsupei interjected again.
If they kept going like that, things would surely end badly. Struck by such a premonition and concerned about the consequences this little venting session would have if left unchecked, Shigemaru clapped his hands in an attempt to clear the room’s heavy atmosphere.
“Come on, come on! If you have the energy to complain, start moving those hands instead. As long as you have the skill, it’s just a matter of waiting to show it to them once we start with matches.”
“But Shige! We don't even know if they'll let us participate in the first place.”
“Does it really not bother you too, Shige?”
The entire group turned to stare at him all gloomily, and Shigemaru was at a loss on what to do next. He hadn’t ever intended it to work this way, but ever since everyone started to imitate Yukiya’s nickname for him, he had, in practice, become the group’s unofficial leader and mediator. While with power came responsibility and the last thing he wanted was to provoke a fight with the Court Ravens, he was the first one to have concerns on the matter.
At the same time as Shigemaru’s group struggled with their assignments, those from noble families were apparently handling both theory and practice with marked ease, and of them all, Akeru, who acted as the year’s Court Ravens representative, stood out as particularly talented. Horsemanship aside, Shigemaru still had yet to ever see him get reprimanded even once, so the boy had started to become a target of resentment and jealousy among the suffering commoners.
Meanwhile, Shigemaru and the other commoners were being constantly put on blast by the instructors. Even if he didn’t believe it to be out of prejudice, there had to be some reason for it. One they just weren’t seeing.
Shigemaru was thinking, trying to somehow find a good answer to the situation, when someone’s oblivious, carefree voice interrupted the scene.
“Good job, everyone!” Yukiya, who had been absent until a moment ago, had just returned. “I just went to the kitchen to get some tea leaves. I even ended up picking up some dried sweet potato to go with it, so how about taking a short break?”
Yukiya greeted them with a bright smile on his lips. Up until a moment ago, the rest of the group had all been bad-mouthing Court Ravens, yet now they found themselves looking away out of sheer embarrassment. Yukiya had been helping them so much that nobody in the room was about to say anything against him, not willingly at least.
“...... Is something wrong?” Yukiya soon asked them. It seemed he hadn’t missed the room’s odd atmosphere.
As a panicked Hisaya jumped to deny the notion, Shigemaru stopped him. Thinking about it, asking for Yukiya’s opinion was probably the best thing they could do given the circumstances. Indeed, once Shigemaru told him the truth of what had happened, Yukiya didn’t even seem bothered by the group’s criticism of Court Ravens.
“Oh, I see. But I think you’re misunderstanding something,” he calmly denied their suspicions. “Right now, what they’re teaching us are all techniques geared towards official tournaments.”
“Official tournaments? Why would they do that?”
“This is the Unbending Reed Monastery, remember? You can’t have the Imperial Family’s private guard acting like hooligans, can you? That’s why they’re teaching us how to battle in a respectable manner, not fight like thugs. Your average Yatagarasu, who’s had no formal training, is not going to know how to do that. Corrections are bound to happen. I really get why you’re so angry,” Yukiya answered as if to mediate. “But, over anything else, bad habits could ultimately lead to injury, so to obey now is for your own future’s sake as well. Sure, Instructor Kashin may be bad-mouthed, but there hasn’t been anything wrong with his corrections.”
“...... Really?”
Recognizing if there was anything off with the corrections they got was beyond the capabilities of Shigemaru and the others—their shared confusion must have been obvious, because Yukiya turned to them once more.
“There’s no need to worry,” he added in a bright tone. “Akeru wasn’t scolded at all, that’s true, but it has nothing to do with his status as a scion of the Western House. I would bet he had a very good master who trained him even before coming here.”
Which meant that Akeru didn’t get any corrections simply because there wasn’t any need for them in the first place. While it was a relief to know the instructors weren’t playing favorites, the group couldn’t help but to panic as well at the therefore unknown skill gap.
They all had difficult expressions on their faces, yet Yukiya didn’t seem particularly concerned about it. “I take it you're worried about the existing gap with the nobles, aren’t you? But, you know, your ability to perform some exercises in a dojo doesn’t determine your strength in actual combat. I’m sure that if you went against them in a match right now, you would be the clear winners.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I mean, they clearly aren’t used to fighting. You can tell just by looking at them,” Yukiya’s eyes partially closed and the corners of his mouth moved upwards, yet one couldn’t in good faith call that expression a ‘smile’. “I’ve been watching everyone long enough to tell how much potential everyone actually has. It shows, you know? That all of you were selected for your skills in arms. Few could surpass you as far as sheer physical capability goes.”
“Wait—you’ve spent all this time watching others during lessons!? And here I am completely overwhelmed just dealing with my own stuff!” Kitsupei exclaimed, equally amazed and exasperated.
“Anyway, let’s put aside those who, like me, come from warrior families and are Court Ravens in name only. I have a strong suspicion that Akeru and his followers will show their true colors very soon,” Yukiya confidently affirmed.
In answer, the entire group glanced at each other.
“Fine. Then, let’s just trust Yukiya and work hard for now. How about that?” Shigemaru asked.
“Let’s do that!”
“Sure, let’s.” Even those who had been strongly complaining just a moment ago nodded along. Leaving aside the matter of how trustworthy Yukiya was on the subject, Shigemaru just found himself tremendously relieved after seeing everyone agree and calm down for the time being.
But then, it only took a few days for the group to discover that Yukiya’s predictions had been mostly correct.
First of all, it became obvious that the instructors weren’t discriminating against anyone. As soon as they learned how to move as taught, the commoners started to join free training as well. The wooden swords they used to practice their swings were henceforth replaced by bamboo ones instead. It brought Shigemaru joy to see his friends holding them, looking entirely revitalized. However, this was also when reality came in to prove Yukiya's guesswork fallible.
While Akeru’s followers were losing against his friends one after another, the boy himself managed to protect his position at the top. Those who held animosity against him went to challenge him as soon as they were deemed worthy to join, yet none of them proved capable of winning against him with any form of consistency.
“He may not be accustomed to fighting, but he seems quite used to dojo swordfighting,” Shigemaru commented to Yukiya during one of their breaks while he wiped away his sweat.
Yukiya forced a smile. “It seems like it. At the very least, it’s clear he trained quite a lot before coming here.”
At the moment, their topic of conversation himself looked to be extremely angry. Shigemaru couldn’t quite tell why, maybe because of his followers’ terribly poor showing?
“I may have underestimated him.”
There was an air of superiority to Yukiya as he said that, one which gave Shigemaru quite the urge to point out something. “You sure act like you’re above him, but you didn’t even make a good showing in your own matches.”
“Ah, were you watching me?”
“When waiting in between turns, yes. Won’t it be a problem for you if things keep going like that?”
Even though Yukiya had been talking big behind others’ backs, his skills with a sword weren’t anything to write home about. His basics were just fine and he moved well and fast, so Shigemaru hadn’t had any cause for concern before they started free training instead. Then, when it came to the moment of truth, Yukiya didn’t try to attack even once. Even when instructors loudly scolded him for going on the defensive like that, Yukiya would only laugh and make no noticeable attempt to fix his ways whatsoever.
——Maybe, in reality, it was Yukiya who wasn’t used to fighting.
Most importantly, practical courses mattered a lot more than theory in the Monastery Trials. Shigemaru had been too worried about himself to pay any mind to others up until then, but, when he realized that Yukiya may be the one in danger of dropping out, it became his main concern instead.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’ll figure it out by the Trial of Gale.” And yet the boy himself couldn’t be more happy-go-lucky.
With their break over, they went back to the dojo as they chatted. No matter how much they tried to ventilate it, the place still reeked of sweat but, fortunately, they had all gotten used to it by that point. Once inside, they put on protective equipment for their knees and elbows and covered their heads with newly woven feather robes, all before they were even told to do so.
What awaited them, despite Shigemaru’s expectations on the contrary, wasn't free training as before. Instead, the instructors announced that they would be moving on to proper, formal matches instead. In such a format, the victor was usually determined on a best of three basis but, to build up the trainees’ endurance and to get them used to it, they had decided to have three rounds no matter who took the points this time around.
The assistants moved to stand in the middle of the dojo, forming a square with their bodies to mark the limits of the venue. Meanwhile, Shigemaru and Yukiya sat together in the front row as spectators, just slightly behind the line formed by the instructors.
Kashin took on the role of referee and stood right in the center as he started to call for different trainees.
“Red, 3-2’s Akeru. Come forward.”
Akeru immediately stepped forwards, taking the red strap, with an overflowing air of superiority. He must have been expecting Kashin’s call.
“White, 1-1’s Chihaya. Come forward.”
Shigemaru wasn’t particularly familiar with Akeru’s opponent. He could remember crossing paths with him during classes, but they had never actually talked and he had no memory of the boy saying anything during any of the many different self-introductions either. Chihaya hadn’t left much of an impression on him, that was for sure.
As Shigemaru reflected on that, he gave Chihaya a look. One could tell just from appearance alone that he was a man of few words. His mouth was sealed in one thin, straight line, so tightly attached together that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking he may have never opened it even once ever since he was born.
He was tall and had a good, firm build, yet, perhaps because of his long face and sharp cheekbones, he instead gave off the impression of being overly thin and sickly. He had long bangs covering his face, and sharp eyes with characteristic small irises(1) peeked through from under them.
The two of them being chosen for the first formal match most likely meant that they were the most skilled trainees at present, at least according to the instructors. Chihaya tied the white strap on his hips and went to stand in front of Akeru, who was already waiting for him at the starting line. Once both trainees were ready to proceed, Kashin exchanged looks with his assistants. They all nodded.
“Start!”
The moment the match began, Akeru raised his voice as he prepared to attack. On the other hand, Chihaya stood there motionless and silent, watching him. Akeru seemed to hesitate for a second, unnerved by something, only to ultimately still go on the offensive immediately after. For a trainee, Akeru was nimble. He moved remarkably fast as he closed in and slashed downwards with his bamboo sword.
And yet, the next second, that same sword was cutting air.
It all happened in a second. Chihaya had twisted his body ever so slightly to dodge the hit and, with his bamboo sword held only in his left hand, he struck Akeru’s torso. The blow was strong enough for the sound of it to fill the entire room. Two of the assistants raised their left arms simultaneously—white straps in their hands.
“White, one point!”
——It had been so fast, Shigemaru’s eyes were unable to keep up.
Finally, the main referee raised his left arm as well and, having confirmed his victory, Chihaya simply fixed the neck of his kimono. It wasn’t particularly out of place to begin with. Meanwhile, Akeru just stood there, in complete shock, for a while before he returned to the starting line. His expression was clearly strained.
“Start!”
This time around, Akeru didn’t raise his voice or rush to the offensive the moment the match started. He instead opted for slight movements, carefully swaying the tip of his sword as he watched for Chihaya to attack first.
After a while, Chihaya moved. He stepped forward with ease, so much so that it was hard to believe he could pull it off during an actual match. He had been initially holding his sword with both hands, but it was now only held in his right hand. Akeru tried to defend himself, but his sword was snapped away from him by an upwards swing.
The bamboo sword spun in midair as it flew in the direction of the spectating trainees. By the time it fell to the ground—the boys around it dodging it in a panic—Chihaya had taken another point with ease by hitting a weaponless Akeru’s head.
“What was that…?” Shigemaru heard someone murmur. Not like he had any idea either—the difference between the two was just too stark.
After losing two points in such rapid succession, Akeru was pale as a sheet and, while this would have been the end of it in a normal three-point match, he had no option but to go through another round due to the circumstances.
Once Akeru had taken back his sword, both opponents returned to their starting positions. At that point, their expressions couldn’t be more different from one another. While the determination in Akeru's face made it clear he wouldn't be satisfied unless he could get at least one hit in, Chihaya seemed to be completely indifferent towards his opponent either way.
“Start!”
Akeru went for a stab with a loud yell the second the third duel commenced. Yet, Chihaya hadn’t even bothered to get into a proper stance anymore, and instead of making any big effort to dodge Akeru's sword, he opted for barely moving his neck to elude the attack. With his sword held only in his left hand, Chihaya immediately went for a slash and landed a hit on his opponent's temple.
It was enough to send Akeru flying, and he ended up falling harshly to the ground with no chance to do a proper landing. The exact kind of crash that tended to cause more worry for the spectator than the victim.
“White, one point! Hey, are you alright?”
As soon as he announced the initial verdict, a panicking Kashin rushed to Akeru's side. The boy soon sat up and, even though he seemed unharmed, the expression on his face made it obvious that he couldn't understand what had just happened to him. In the meantime, Chihaya merely returned to the starting line without even glancing in Akeru’s direction, as inexpressive as always. Afterwards, they both bowed to each other, marking the end of the match.
It was clear the instructors hadn't expected this kind of unilateral result. Although, after a short discussion between them, they finally started to call trainees again, and neither Chihaya nor Akeru took part in another match that day.
“You're amazing!”
“I had no idea you were that strong!”
“Who the hell taught you how to use a sword like that!?”
After the match, Chihaya became a bit of a celebrity.
A group of trainees had gathered around him, all trying to strike up a conversation at once. Although many of them seemed to be driven by their dislike of Akeru, as one could have guessed, plenty had simply been taken by his skill with a sword from the looks of it, and while Chihaya himself gave no sign whatsoever of answering any of their many rapid questions, the people surrounding him proved to be too excited to care about that.
The evening classes had reached their end, so the trainees were on their way back from the dojo. A good distance behind Chihaya and his group of admirers were the study group regulars, all walking together.
“Dammit. I wanted to be the first to crush Akeru.”
“Nonono. I could have won against him, I just had to land another hit on him.”
As Kitsupei and Hisaya said that, grinding their teeth, Tatsuto sighed. “So you two were also incapable of defeating him……”
“Shut up!”
“What the hell are you going on about? You didn’t get a proper win against him either, Tatsuto.”
Shigemaru, pointedly ignoring his friends’ argument, glanced in Akeru's direction instead. “That aside, is Akeru truly okay after that?”
Although Akeru himself was silent, simply holding a wet towel to his temple, Shigemaru could see his followers staring daggers towards Chihaya’s enthusiastic group of admirers.
“Well, it may look otherwise, but Chihaya was almost certainly holding back. I doubt there's any real concern for injury. The actual problem is—” Yukiya started to explain something before stopping all of a sudden, noticeably blinking.
“What's wrong?” Shigemaru followed Yukiya's gaze. Upon realizing, he let out an unconscious ‘yikes’.
“Chihaya! I've heard you got quite the achievement today.”
Silence fell upon the entire group of Seeds once they saw who was coming towards them. Nobody knew how he had learned about the recent events, but Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana was nevertheless approaching them from the direction of the dining hall. Even Chihaya’s admirers retreated one step, scared of the Sapling closing in. Kimichika, however, paid them no mind and amiably patted Chihaya's shoulder instead.
“And on top of that, you thoroughly crushed that Western House brat! Is that true?” As Chihaya himself didn't say anything in answer, Kimichika instead looked up towards a certain group of trainees who, pointedly ignoring him, had tried to move along. “Hey, Akeru, is it true?”
At his call, Akeru stopped in his tracks. He turned around towards Kimichika with barely concealed rage. “......Yes, I lost. So what.”
“I see, I see. That's amazing. You seem to be unaware, my Lord, but Chihaya, the one to defeat you, is a Hill Raven working for my House.” Kimichika pointed at Chihaya with his chin, while Chihaya only stood there without uttering a single word. But then, if he served Kimichika's house, that only meant one thing—he was part of the Animiya faction. “For someone like you, who put on airs over being Wakamiya's faithful servant, that must be the last person you would want to lose against. Oh, what a shame for you, both as a Court Raven and a faction representative.”
Kimichika let out an unpleasant laugh. Meanwhile, Akeru remained expressionless, his lips trembling, before finally sighing quietly. All things considered, he had recovered his composure surprisingly fast.
“I'm sorry to say this when you're enjoying my loss so much, but this may be your last chance to do so.”
“Huh?”
“Well, His Majesty the Emperor is going to abdicate the throne in favor of His Highness. It has been decided already.”
“——What!?”
“There should be an official announcement very soon. Now I wonder—for how much longer will the South still be able to act like pretentious fools?” Akeru spoke decisively.
Clear shock replaced the boastful look on Kimichika's face. This must have been news to him. He wasn’t the only one—even the onlookers, incapable of containing themselves any longer, stopped holding their breaths and started a ruckus.
Seeing that from the corner of his eyes, Akeru smiled ever so slightly. “It’s just the truth of the matter. It’s why His Highness couldn't attend the entrance ceremony. The imperial council on the matter took longer than expected, it seems.”
Instead of targeting Kimichika, who was speechless and seemingly deep in thought, Akeru turned towards the so-far mute Chihaya immediately afterwards.
“Chihaya. What a shame. To get kicked out over politics with your master here despite your enormous talent. Luck sure doesn’t seem to favor you, tying you to someone like him. If only you were serving someone in the Wakamiya faction,” Akeru said sardonically.
Chihaya’s gaze was still downcast, fixed on the ground. Finally, he murmured something. “...... I don’t care about either faction.”
Although Akeru's eyes widened from surprise as well, it was Kimichika who seemed the most shocked by his words. “Hey! What the fuck are you saying? Come here, right now!”
Kimichika grabbed him and dragged Chihaya away from everyone without even giving him a chance to say his farewells. Having watched both of them disappear in the distance, a still dumbfounded Shigemaru let out a groan before speaking. “...... The situation is about to get real weird, ain't it?”
As a witness of those two’s relationship and their obvious lack of anything even resembling trust, Shigemaru was overcome by the most terrible feeling. And, just one hour(2) later, it too proved to be a reality at dinnertime.
“——You shit, would you stop with the damn attitude already!?”
The trainees were in the middle of cleanup when a furious scream resonated through the dining hall. Everyone immediately turned to the direction it came from.
“What's going on?”
“A fight?”
Usually, the instructors were the first ones to take care of their trays, followed by Evergreens and Saplings in that order, so by that point the only ones still present were Seeds. And yet, Shigemaru saw a familiar someone with a characteristic hooked nose striking a pose in the distance.
“Isn't that Chihaya and Kimichika?”
“Huh, where did Kimichika's followers go?”
“Useless when it truly matters.” As Shigemaru and Yukiya whispered among themselves, the conversation between Kimichika and Chihaya took yet another turn for the worse.
“I'll say it once more, Chihaya. Clean. My. Tray.” Kimichika’s voice was trembling, barely holding in the desire to scream at Chihaya.
Meanwhile, Chihaya remained seated, motionless and completely unfazed by Kimichika's overbearing attitude. “I refuse.”
“Why!?”
“No reason.” While Chihaya wasn't someone one would call talkative, that had been enough to grasp the situation. As Kimichika tried to drop his tray where Chihaya was, the other only refused stubbornly.
“I'm ordering you as your senior! You are supposed to listen to me, no matter what!” Kimichika yelled again.
Chihaya briefly looked up at him and snorted. Kimichika's face was twisted in pure rage—they must have repeated this particular exchange a bunch of times already. Shigemaru expected him to yell once more, yet Kimichika's expression suddenly changed into one of abnormal calm.
“You know what'll happen if you disobey me, right? You haven't forgotten, by any chance?”
Chihaya glanced back questioningly, and Kimichika’s lips curved. “It's not only a you problem, you know—or should I give you a reminder of that?”
Kimichika’s words were dripping with confidence. That very second, the look in Chihaya’s eyes drastically changed. His until then characteristic indifference had been quickly replaced by unbridled anger. Even though Kimichika had been the one to provoke him first, he found himself balking at the abnormal atmosphere surrounding Chihaya.
“...... What. Do you plan to defy me?”
Chihaya stood up. He moved effortlessly and silently.
——Shit, things were about to get real bad.
At the realization, Shigemaru’s eyes darted around the hall and found everyone else standing frozen in place. Left with no alternative, Shigemaru finally steeled his resolve—just as someone else beside him moved first.
“Ooops, my bad, I slipped!”
A mix of grilled eggplant, chilled wheat noodles and miso soup splashed all over Kimichika's nape. As for who had screamed, it was none other than Yukiya, who had somehow managed to sneak behind him without making any noise. On top of that—and this couldn't just be Shigemaru's imagination—he had actually made a point to gather all of his leftovers before slipping unnoticed and throwing his entire bowl's contents on Kimichika.
Yukiya, you bastard, you did it! Shigemaru barely restrained himself from laughing out loud as he ran in their direction as well.
“Aah, I'm sorry! What a bad idea, though, to stand idly in the middle of the room. The other Saplings have already cleaned their trays and left, so what keeps you here?” Yukiya tried to apologize, but the delivery was the very picture of stiffness. He used his own sleeve to clean Kimichika’s face, or so he made it look. In practice, he was just smearing the mashed eggplant even further.
Incapable of comprehending the sudden development, Kimichika and Chihaya stood there as unmoving as statues for a while.
“You, fucking little runt!” As Kimichika finally came to his senses, he shook off Yukiya's hand and screamed in indignation. Truth be told, not even Shigemaru could blame him for that. This wasn’t the moment to laugh at Kimichika’s hysterics, however, so he instead rushed to the group and put himself in the middle.
“Now, now, please calm down. My friend here didn't mean to do anything bad! He's just tired from the practical courses, you see, so his footing wasn't that good. Right, Yukiya?”
“Yes, exactly! I didn't intend to do it,” Yukiya said as he meekly bowed in apology.
Understandably, Kimichika wasn't fooled by that. “Don't fuck with me! If you didn't intend to do it, then why were you here of all places!?”
The dining hall was huge. There was quite the distance from the spot of the incident to the place where everyone left their trays. Around nine meters(3), in fact.
Shigemaru and Yukiya exchanged glances. “Why were you here?”
“Taking a walk.”
“Taking a walk, he says.”
“Do you two fuckers want to die by my hand that badly?” Kimichika's tone was low, and one could see blue veins bulging in his forehead. Then, just as Shigemaru was wondering how to dodge the question, Kimichika took a better look at their faces out of the blue. “Ah, you two are from the North, right? Well, you Hill Ravens from the countryside may not know it, but the Minami-Tachibana are quite influential even in the Center.”
Stunned by the out of nowhere bragging, Shigemaru stared blankly at him.
“So?” It was just Shigemaru’s honest reaction, but the corners of Kimichika's lips twitched.
“...... You don’t even know that? Rokon, one of Lord Natsuka's first and most important retainers, was known by a different name before(4). None other than Michichika of Minami-Tachibana. He’s, in other words, my older brother. I wonder what kinds of inconveniences await you once he learns you made fun of his little brother?”
“Even if that may be the case, we won’t exactly come asking for your mercy. There’s no need for you to worry.” Before Shigemaru even got a chance to talk, Yukiya had already resolutely dismissed him. “Still, you sure are crude and boring, aren't you? Who brings up his brother's influence that easily? And just to bully a couple of juniors! Don't you have, I don't know, any better options?”
From Yukiya’s tone, he sounded as if he was about to sigh and, just like that, Kimichika's air of importance crumbled away.
“What’s a lowly servant like you doing talking back to me!? As if you know anything!” Kimichika grabbed him by the collar and raised his fist as if to hit him, yet Yukiya stared back at him as if the entire situation wasn't even his problem. Shigemaru could tell Yukiya was fully planning to take the incoming punch—but it never came.
The second before it came to happen, Shigemaru intercepted Kimichika's arm. “Could you wait a moment, please?”
With his arm seized, Kimichika stared at him in confusion. He wasn’t the only one—Yukiya, who had been quite accepting of his fate, did so as well.
“Why did you grab me!?”
“You see, had this been a senior fed up with his junior's attitude, I would get it. However, I can't just stand aside when you make it about status.” The Unbending Reed Monastery was a place where might makes right. Within its walls, one's family status had no bearing whatsoever. They had been told that much very recently. “What’s the point of coming here if we're going to be ridiculed for our birth!? And, of all people, you definitely have no right to do so!”
Shigemaru's shout resounded like thunder as it traveled through the entire hall. Kimichika gulped ever so slightly, but stubbornly stared back at him instead of balking. “Let me go.”
“First let Yukiya go.” Shigemaru was still a Seed, but he was larger than Kimichika. Admittedly, he had no idea how long he could keep up against a Sapling, someone with an extra year of experience over him, but he hoped to at least give him a scare if it came down to blows.
Then, in the middle of such a tense atmosphere, support came from the unlikeliest of places. “Sapling Kimichika, I would recommend you stop right there.”
“Huuh?” Kimichika’s natural enemy had arrived along with his followers. “Akeru, you shit, coming to talk back to your seniors as well?”
“It looked to me as if you were speaking not as their senior but as a Court Raven, or am I mistaken? So, as a fellow Court Raven, let me warn you about something.”
“About what?”
“The person you just derogatively called a ‘lowly servant’ and attempted to punch isn't who you think—but a legitimate scion of the Northern House.”
Shigemaru turned in astonishment to Yukiya, whose face looked like he had just eaten something foul. Akeru casted a glance at his reaction as well, yet he didn’t seem to care as he kept on dispassionately disclosing the details.
“He's the grandson of the man at the very top of all warrior families—the Northern Lord, Great General Gen'ya. Within the Northern House, he’s fourth in rank, only behind the Heir and his firstborn son. Truly a Court Raven among Court Ravens.”
“This guy…?” Kimichika blurted out, completely dumbfounded.
Yukiya, meanwhile, seemed to be completely done with the entire situation. “Eh, that may be the case, yes, I guess.”
Upon the sudden discovery of an unknown high noble among their midst, shock ran through the Seeds, who had been watching with bated breath. Whispers soon spread like ripples throughout the entire hall. However, as the murmurs continued, a figure appeared from the hallway—it was none other than Seiken. Someone had to have gone to call for him.
Kimichika softly clicked his tongue.
“What's happening here?”
That was a question with no easy answer.
They all went silent for a while. In the end, the first one to raise his hand was Yukiya. “I tripped and dropped some miso soup on my senior here.”
“Oh,” Seiken didn’t react at all beyond a murmur, his expression unchanged. He turned towards Kimichika. “Is that correct?”
Being the actual source of the problem as he was, Kimichika was left in no position to disagree or argue. He made a bitter face. “It is, yes.”
Seiken gave them a small nod. “I see, I get it now. First of all, Yukiya. A warrior shouldn’t be tripping and causing others harm. Apologize to your senior.”
“Yes. My apologies, Sapling Kimichika,” Yukiya obediently bowed towards him.
Seiken watched Kimichika as the boy looked down on Yukiya with a very sour face. As he proceeded, his manner of speech remained matter-of-factly. “Now, Kimichika. You should have been able to dodge something like that, I hope you realize. To explode like that and raise your voice against a Seed is also unbecoming of you.”
“...... I apologize.”
“Both sides were in the wrong, so it should be fine to leave it at that. Any issues?” Seiken said. Then, he just quietly watched both trainees.
“None.”
“It’s fine with me.”
So neither side had complaints. “Very well. You two, better learn from this. Your punishment shall be to work together to clean this mess. Understood?”
——In short, Seiken let them all go scot-free.
Both boys immediately agreed and saluted their instructor. Seiken gave them a pleased smile and, with that matter settled, he turned his gaze towards Akeru instead. “Good job mediating.”
“Oh, I couldn't simply stand aside as a Court Raven in the same faction as Yukiya,” Akeru calmly answered in turn.
“I won’t deny that but,” Seiken continued with his usual smile, “I don't recommend bringing up house matters like that in the Monastery. It may have worked here, but it wasn't really your place to reveal Yukiya’s status like that.”
Akeru was clearly not used to getting any warnings from the instructors. His eyes widened, caught by surprise, before he frowned and looked up at Seiken in defiance.
“...... Instructor Seiken, who do you side with? The Animiya Faction, or Wakamiya's?”
Prompted by Akeru's question, Kimichika’s gaze became piercing. He wasn't the only one either—all the trainees in the hall turned towards Seiken at once. Yet the man didn't hesitate—not even for a second—, that faint smile of his unshaken. Not even a situation like this was enough to break through his usual gentle demeanor.
“There's not much meaning in such a question. Lord Natsuka has expressed his wish to serve His Highness Wakamiya, so I don’t think such factions are a good fit for the current state of affairs.”
“That's just officially, isn't it? In practice, the Imperial Court is divided into them.”
“Even if that's the case,” Seiken calmly looked at the increasingly emotional Akeru, “The Monastery is a facility to raise members of the Yamauchi Guard, those who shall serve the Imperial Family. It would be wrong to pay undue attention to factions or any hierarchy beyond that of the Golden Raven himself. Even if the person is part of the Imperial Family. Besides, first and foremost, I'm an instructor here at the Monastery.”
Seiken's tone was no different whatsoever from what he used during lessons. “Whatever the state of politics may be, my duty is to support this facility's trainees.” Akeru was left with no arguments, and Seiken gave him a concerned look. “If you obsess so much over what's going on outside, you'll miss what's happening around you. Do be careful.”
“——So? Can someone explain to me what's going on?” Ichiryuu asked, his eye twitching.
“Well, as Instructor Seiken told us to do, we were cleaning the dining hall until a moment ago. Kimichika left early despite being told to do it too, though. It's honestly already a miracle we received no real punishment, which is why we have no intention to tell on him, all things considered. It was truly lucky for us that it was Instructor Seiken,” Shigemaru replied.
“No, no, I don't care about that part,” Ichiryuu grumbled. “What I actually want to know is why exactly this room has an additional Seed now!”
There were actually three boys sitting squarely in front of the scowling Ichiryuu. Yukiya, Shigemaru—and Chihaya.
“Oh, that’s because of Kimichika! He was the one in charge of mentoring Chihaya, but he went and kicked him out of their room.”
He had been the cause of the entire incident, yet Chihaya ended up being completely ignored midway through. As Shigemaru was painfully aware they had just made matters worse for him, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore his plight.
“As long as we make it in time for the morning roll call, I've heard that the instructors don't care what we do outside of lessons. Sapling Ichiryuu, he truly has nowhere to go. Won't you let him remain here in the tenth room with us?”
“No freaking way. The room is already tiny as-is, and you're asking me for permission to make it worse?” The main interested party, Chihaya, kept up his glum silence in a corner of the room, unwilling to cooperate. Meanwhile, the obviously dissatisfied Ichiryuu was at his wit’s end, holding his head. “Don't you get it? Mind to remember that due to your size, Shigemaru, my own space is already reduced to only a quarter of the entire? I'm a Sapling, I'm not supposed to have so little space to sleep!”
“Don't be so stingy! You're our senior, right?”
“Then tell me, juniors, who exactly are the ones forcing their senior to go through such a humiliation?”
“We just have to take the partition screen away, don't we?” Yukiya said, a rather blatant attempt to poke fun at him.
“No fucking way,” Ichiryuu growled in response before, finally, covering his face with his hands. “Besides, this entire mess was because of Kimichika, right? I told you not to get involved with him! I knew it already, somehow, but I see you truly don't listen to what I say,” Ichiryuu lamented to himself.
“Is Kimichika unpopular even among the Saplings?” Shigemaru asked him.
“Huh? Ah, yes……” Ichiryuu responded bitterly. “There are rumors that he only passed last year's trial because some instructor with ties to the South is playing favorites with him. His personality is awful and he's as dumb as a brick, so nobody outside his circle of Southern people likes him. He’s somewhat strong though, I’ll give him that.”
“Stronger than you, Sapling Ichiryuu?”
“Cut it out! Anyway, he's someone who you would expect to get kicked out because of his personality alone.”
That kind of insolent behavior was a constant of his and he was always surrounded by his own Southern followers, according to Ichiryuu. Taking care of their own trays after dinner was a rule that applied to everyone, be it instructor or trainee. Kimichika’s disrespect for the rules was, ultimately, the actual source of the problem.
——Disregarding the Monastery's rules was a massive issue in itself, so the house he came from didn't even matter. At that moment, just as that thought crossed his mind, Shigemaru happened to remember something else—the real identity of the boy sitting right beside him, Yukiya.
“Actually, now that we’re talking about that—so you were an actual young master,” Shigemaru nonchalantly said to him.
“Wait a moment!” Yukiya, on the other hand, panicked all of a sudden. “I didn’t lie per se when I said I was from Taruhi. It's just—my birth mother is from the Northern House. That's all! So, you see……” Yukiya's voice started to fizzle out until it completely died off. He looked at Shigemaru with an upwards gaze. “Are you angry?”
From the looks of it, Yukiya was genuinely scared of his reaction.
“Why would I be?” Shigemaru, puzzled, asked back. “I said it before, remember? I have no intention to judge others over the circumstances of their birth. If I hated you simply because you're a noble, then I wouldn't be any different from Kimichika, would I?”
“Shige!” Yukiya exclaimed. The boy was oddly yet clearly moved by his words and, to Shigemaru, that made for quite the amusing reaction.
“Ah, but don't ask me to treat you with that kind of respect after all this time. It won't happen,” Shigemaru took his chance to tease him.
“Who would say an idiotic thing like that!?” Yukiya shouted. “I'm actually glad to hear that.”
“And I thought you would say so! So, business as usual for us.”
After spectating the entire conversation with plain concern in his eyes, Ichiryuu finally sighed in relief. With that problem solved, he instead turned his head slightly, glancing at Chihaya, who hadn't uttered a word ever since he had arrived.
“...... Well, if there's no alternative, fine. Listen, Chihaya, I don't mind if you spend the nights here, but you better not cause any further issues. No fights and, please, let's coexist in peace.” Otherwise, Ichiryuu’s utter failure as a mentor would catch even the instructors’ attention.
However, Chihaya's answer was as blunt as it was cold. “I refuse.”
At first, Ichiryuu wasn't able to grasp what Chihaya had just said.
“W-What?” His voice shook. He hadn’t said anything strange as the room's senior, it could even be said to have been the absolute bare minimum. Why would Chihaya refuse like that? He couldn’t figure it out.
“Chihaya?” Yukiya too called out to him.
In the meantime, Chihaya’s sharp eyes were fixed dangerously on Ichiryuu and Yukiya.
“You and the runt. You're nobles, right?”
“Even if you call us nobles… Yukiya aside, I'm just from the rural nobility,” a stunned Ichiryuu answered.
“Then you have horses.”
“Eh? Well, yes.”
A Township Lord's residence couldn't even begin to function without horses. It would greatly affect the officers’ work. Shigemaru had visited the Shimaki Lord’s residence once, and he remembered seeing some impressive stables there. He truly doubted Taruhi was in any way different. It was all simply a given, yet Chihaya's gaze got even colder once he heard that.
“I hate Court Ravens. We can't get along then.” He glared at them, all stunned into silence, before rushing to the exit and leaving the room altogether.
“Wait, Chihaya!” Yukiya tried to follow after him, but Shigemaru quickly stopped him.
Once he got him to stop, Shigemaru turned towards a shocked Ichiryuu and deeply bowed his head. “I'm sorry, senior, but could you wait for a bit?”
“Wait, why are you apologizing in the first place?”
“As a fellow Hill Raven, it’s not as if I can't understand how he feels. Would you leave this to me?”
Unlike Court Raven, Hill Raven was often used to talk about commoners in a derogatory way. Making a point out of using those words in specific was apparently enough for Ichiryuu to get the gist of the problem. There was clear tension on his face as he gave him a still dazed nod.
“——Fine, I'll leave it to you. Bring him back here immediately.”
“Thank you.” Shigemaru took his ornamented blade and flew out of the room.
It didn’t take him long to find Chihaya. He was right behind the building, sitting with his back against the wall. The light leaking from the inside dimly illuminated him, and there was a small bundle of belongings at his feet. Kimichika had thrown it at him when he kicked him out. It was all of Chihaya’s luggage, a shockingly small amount even for a commoner.
“..... Both Ichiryuu and Yukiya were at a loss.” Shigemaru called out to him as he made sure to keep his distance. Chihaya glanced at him for a second, before dropping his gaze back to the ground.
“I don't care.”
“Well, you should be a bit more humble if you plan to secure a place to sleep. Don't tell me you plan to pass the night out here?”
“That was the idea, yes.”
“Wait, wait—are you for real?”
Shigemaru had been fully intending to bring Chihaya back to the tenth room, yet he had never imagined Chihaya was truly planning to sleep outside otherwise. After thinking for a while, Shigemaru leaned on the wall by Chihaya’s side with enough space between them that it was impossible to reach the other even if they extended their arms.
“I doubt Yukiya and Ichiryuu have ever considered how much the Yatagarasu who end up as horses must truly hate it, you know,” Shigemaru mused as he looked up to the sky.
There was the waning moon, floating dimly over the dormitories’ lined up roofs. Soft moonlight shone over the persimmon trees, already covered in young green leaves, leaving shadows all over the ground. Shigemaru inhaled deeply—the air was different now than when they had first joined. One could feel the approaching summer in it.
“....... And, if you think about it, the most likely reason they can't imagine it at all is because they haven't ever mistreated one, right?”
He heard Chihaya quietly laugh at his side. “If that’s enough for them to ignore the problem, isn't that more cruel than actual mockery?”
“Maybe it is,” Shigemaru felt Chihaya relaxing beside him, so he intentionally employed a nonchalant tone as he spoke. “You know, during a famine long ago, my grandpa on my mother's side was left with no options to survive. He refused to sell my mom to the Red Light District, so he chose to become a horse for the local landlord. I wouldn’t have even been born if he hadn't made that sacrifice.”
Chihaya didn't say a word in answer, but he changed his pose. He was listening to what Shigemaru had to say. “He made the decision himself, so he turned into quite the well-behaved horse. It seems his owners were very gentle with him too, so much so that the entire family took personal care of him in his last moments. Is it cruel? Yes, maybe, but I'm glad my grandpa wasn't whipped or didn’t have to suffer unnecessarily at least. I would rather have it that way.”
“...... He protected his daughter.”
Chihaya was still very much a man of few words, but Shigemaru nevertheless understood what he meant—that he found his grandpa admirable.
“Thank you,” Shigemaru softly laughed. “If I had to make a guess, both Yukiya and Ichiryuu are ‘good owners’ as well and haven't ever had a family member become a horse. They're nice people, but I very much doubt there's any fixing that. There are things you can't truly understand until you experience them yourself.”
Chihaya didn’t speak at all, but he made a point out of his own lack of reaction.
“But, even if that’s the case, I think it would also be your loss to reject them altogether over that. Just as we cannot become Court Ravens because we want to, it’s not like they have ever experienced the life of a Hill Raven either,” Shigemaru stretched as he said that. “I’m fine if we don't understand each other perfectly. I don’t care for the kind of person who will force said understanding. You know, what actually matters to me is whether they comprehend that there's no reason to ridicule or look down on others over the world they live in.”
“So you’re saying I should remain silent to the Court Ravens’ abuse?” Chihaya spouted sarcastically.
“No way!” Shigemaru laughed. “Mock those small-minded enough to accept only their own worldviews all you want. But if you sneer at people just because they happen to be Court Ravens, you aren’t really any different from them.”
Finally, Chihaya sighed weakly, his eyes still fixed on his feet. “I'll keep that in mind.”
“Good, that should be enough.”
They stayed there for a long while. Shigemaru gazed at the night sky and Chihaya at the ground, his arms crossed inside his sleeves.
“...... People like family to me were falsely accused of stealing. They had their legs cut. The son of the landlord at the farm they worked at was the actual perpetrator,” Chihaya murmured.
“I see,” was Shigemaru’s only response. Chihaya probably meant the third leg that appeared in bird form, given the context.
——Someone close to Chihaya was falsely incriminated and Disarticulated.
While those who became horses by contract had their third leg bound with a special cord by their owners, and they couldn't transform back to human form without permission, there was no going back for those who had their leg cut, their other form forever out of reach.
For the first time since their conversation had started, Chihaya raised his head to look at Shigemaru.
“Don't—”
“Say anything, right? I won't, don't worry. I'll wait until you're ready to tell them yourself.”
“Will that day ever come?”
While Chihaya seemed to have no such expectations, Shigemaru nodded with full confidence. “It will. At the very least, I believe so.”
Next: Akeru (Part 1)
—————————————
1: Sanpaku eyes or three whites eyes (三白目) refer to cases in which the sclera around the iris is also visible due to it being comparatively tiny.
2: The time measurement here is actually done in koku (刻). Historically, koku has meant many things, with a day being divided differently depending on time period and area. Probably the most well known form of koku has night and day divided in 6 koku each, for a total of 12 koku, each one named after one of the animals of the chinese zodiac. While, in practice, this meant the length of a koku changed depending on the time of the year and whether it was a night koku or a day koku, the overall average length would be that of two of our modern hours. As far as I know, this and koku-as-half-an-hour are the most well-known standards, but due to pure narrative logic I'm interpreting the koku in Yamauchi as 12-koku-a-day. Finishing dinner and cleaning in 15 minutes for so many people is unrealistic.
3: Once more, ancient forms of measurement are used here. In this case, it's the Ken (間). Unlike the Koku and its flexible nature, a Ken is precisely 1,818 meters.
4: Rokon is what we would call a 'dharma name' (戒名), which are either given to buddhist monks after taking their vows or, within japanese culture at least, given to the dead posthumously. The first category is the one that applies here. This is also the case for other characters who have taken vows like, for example, Natsuka. The men aside, Masuho no Susuki most likely got a dharma name as well once she became a nun, but as she uses her alias or karina (仮名) we never get to learn about it. As one would expect of a setting based on the Heian era, when one could say Zen Buddhism was most influential, a lot of details are affected by it.
#Translation: The Raven of the Empty Coffin#yatagarasu#yatagarasu series#the raven does not choose its master#karasu wa aruji wo erabanai
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I love LOVE the way that LAES wrote out the Gemini twins, that's high praise from me based on the many posts where I shit on them but with every hater there's secretly a fan so hear me out.
When we were first introduced to them Castor was an ASSHOLE and Pollux was the overly energetic sweetheart that just pulls at people's heartstrings.
Well based on EVERYTHING THE SHOWS HAVE TAUGHT US (if you're actually paying attention) it's to never judge books by their covers.
By the end we see that POLLUX is the real asshole, she thinks that people should just UNDERSTAND HER and that it's dumb and people are annoying or a waste of their time when they aren't immediately understood.
Castor by the end is gentle, soft spoken, and knows to treat people with genuine kindness and sincerity. He holds the people he appreciates so close to his heart that even when they hurt him all he wants is to run back to them and try to see their point of view.
Castor is still strict and Pollux is still bubbly but there was a lot more going on under the surface, have you guys ever noticed how CASTOR was always the one talking seriously to Lunar? Pollux was following along and occasionally adding in hurtful remarks (talking star trials and that nonsense) Castor was ALWAYS the one to make sure that even though Lunar was in trouble or needed to be talked to he knew he was appreciated and cared for, that even though they'd say hurtful things they just wanted him to confront his actions and deal with them appropriately. Pollux just yells and throws in childish quips, which is ironic since her whole thing back during the star trials was to constantly point out how childish Lunar was being (she's a hypocrite) despite most of her arguments coming off as playground marriage arguments.
In any mythology Greek, Roman, etc Gemini is duality. We're never told which is which though, it's why whenever someone brings up Zodiac signs Gemini is an insult to people. Duality can be both good and bad, it's exactly what it is. However duality isn't black and white, it's a spectrum that can change at any moment. We see the way duality shifts and shows itself in the Gemini twins frequently, with mood swings, temperament, and overall how people unravel themselves. Together they are uncaring and do not perceive things as positive or negative without the others input, however apart they're kind and rude, gentle and aggressive.
Gemini is only one when they agree, when they are at peace. Castor loves Lunar, he has and will. It broke his heart to see Lunar as a threat. Pollux saw Lunar as a fun toy to play with until it got old, then she got bored of it and found it's attempts to get her attention annoying. She didn't and doesn't love Lunar, she loved the attention he was giving her, only throwing a fit when the attention was given to someone else.
This, this is duality. It's what the shows were trying to express, however with limited resources it's hard to convey everything in the story. They're recording this with the knowledge they have on how to best convey it without outright saying it and it's so amazing what they're able to do.
Thank you for coming to my tedtalk it's written weird and that's because this is pure raw unfiltered autism license approved thoughts, until next time. Bye bro bros:3
#the lunar and earth show#the sun and moon show#laes gemini#laes castor#laes pollux#laes lunar#i love doing character analysis it reminds me of why i love storylines#i genuinely hate pollux so much but also the way she's written is really cool#castor started off as my least favorite character and he's quickly moving up#character analysis#explodes autistically#astrea rambles#astrea spends way too long yapping just to say that duality exists in laes and it's rlly cool#hi bro bros
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Akdiwjabs I love the way you write four but what about the COLORS?
I love the colors sm!! I'll love more requests for them too, hehe
Sounds coming from outside the inn caught my attention. It was night, all the boys were in the inn, either in their rooms or in some other room in the place, so there was no reason for me to worry. It must just be some drunk talking to himself. The only problem is that I recognized the voice, and besides being someone I know well, I’m sure it seemed to be coming from more than one person.
Well, I guess checking it out can’t hurt, right? I got up from the small sofa I was sitting on, reading a book, and went to look for something to cover myself and protect myself from the night’s cold. After putting on a coat, I went out through the front door of the inn, looking around. The street was empty, so it was easy to identify the sounds coming from nearby.
I walked to the back of the inn, away from the eyes, worried about what could be causing all this commotion. Of all the possibilities that crossed my mind, none of them were that the voice I heard was actually Four’s, but I was also right about there being more than one person, because right in front of me were four Fours. Ironic, I know.
He... they seemed to be discussing something that I couldn’t understand at first, too shocked by what was right in front of me, and they also didn’t seem to have noticed me standing there. Each of them wore the robe in a different color, each one of the colors of the original robe of the hero of the four swords.
Oh, hero of the four swords, so that’s what it means!
Not liking the idea of just standing there watching, or even leaving and them never even finding out that I knew their secret, I cleared my throat to get their attention. It seemed to work, they all looked at me surprised and somewhat shocked, becoming quiet immediately.
— Oh, calm down! It’s not what you’re thinking. – The one wearing the green tunic began, triggering the reaction of the others.
— Well, unless you’re thinking that we’re Four divided, then it’s exactly what you’re thinking! – The one in red said, receiving na elbow from the one in blue.
— It’s okay, we can explain everything. – The one in purple said, not seeming really worried about the situation.
It took me a while to process all of this, but I think it’s okay, after all, it’s Four. They are Four.
— Hm, okay, then explain. – I said, finding myself again at the wall nearby with my arms crossed, waiting.
— Well... we’re Four. – The green one replied, saying what I had already assumed.
— So Four is like, four people in one?
— Not exactly, more like we’re a quarter of one person each. We’re different parts of Four, different sides of it. – The one in purple explained better, and I thought I was starting to understand.
— And I suppose that’s because of the sword.
— Exactly. – the one in blue confirmed.
Right. It’s not that absurd. Just complex and strange. But reasonable.
— And what should I call you? One, two, three and four? – I asked, making the one in red laugh.
— We answer to Green, Red, Blue and Vio. – Green corrected me.
— Oh, right, that makes sense. – I sighed. That’s a lot for one night. – Do the others know?
— No, only Wild. And we prefer to keep it that way, understand? – Blue said, almost sounding like a threat, I just nodded.
Before I could speak I felt someone hug me suddenly. Red grabbed me affectionately, looking happy. If each one represents a feeling of Four’s, I guess this one is love.
— I’m so glad you know this now! I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but the others didn’t agree. – He said, mumbling about his other parts. – And you’re taking it so well, how nice! Now we can get to know each other even better.
I laughed softly, I never thought I’d see the Blacksmith act so affectionately, it was kind of adorable. And to think that this is literally a part of him, it’s nice to be able to get to know this side of him.
— Okay, I’m still trying to figure this all out, but it’s actually pretty cool. It’s kind of like Four multiplied, all advantages. – I said without thinking very well, and mentally cursed myself for it. Okay, I went around saying that shit anyway, go ahead and confess that you have a crush on him... them.
Luckily, they didn’t seem to notice, or didn’t show it, the next thing I saw was Red being pulled by the hood by Blue, forcing him to let go of me.
— Okay, that’s enough, don’t be so clingy! Do you want to scare her, idiot?!
— Hey, you know you’re calling yourself an idiot too, right, genius?
— No, I’m calling you an idiot, you’re the idiot part, I’m the cool part!
— But we’re the same person!
The two argued back and forth, heavens, I’m still going to go crazy one of these days. The other two got closer to me, avoiding the brawlers.
— Don’t worry, ignore them, they’re a little nervous with your presence. – Green explained, generating more doubts in me.
— Why would they be nervous?
— Oh, it’s because- ouch! – He was cut off by a poor thing on the back of the neck from Vio. – Oh, nothing, forget it.
Oh, I can see it’s going to be a long night.
#link x reader#linked universe x reader#linked universe#lu x reader#tloz#linked universe fanfic#legend of zelda#x reader#lu four x reader#lu colors X reader#lu colors#lu four#lu vio#lu blue#lu red#lu green
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Pick-Up
Jesse Pinkman & Ignacio "Nacho" Varga
For @narcosfandomdiscord Book of Near Misses: fanwork with two characters from the same show who have never met
Warnings: 18+, language, no plot just vibes
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: do you ever think about the fact that these two never got to meet? because i sure do!!!!!! i feel like there is more down the line that i would like to do with these two in a different story. but for now there's this! also my first time ever writing for Jesse so 🫡
“Yo!” Jesse banged on the safehouse door. “Open up!”
He didn’t hear anyone calling back to him, didn’t hear any movement from the other side of the door at all. Letting out a deep sigh, he started to make his way around the house. All of the curtains were covering the windows, all the locks on them secured. The only car in the driveway was his own, and for a moment Jesse couldn’t help but to think that maybe Mike had sent him off on some sort of wild goose chase. Punishment for whatever he’d done most recently that had annoyed him.
When he wound up back at the front door again, Jesse was about to turn around and walk off. He’d been through enough bouts of hazing and pointless trips. What he didn’t want, though, was to get into deeper trouble because he didn’t do what he was supposed to. There was still always the off-chance that this was all legit.
Standing halfway between the front door and the car, Jesse took out his phone and dialed one of the four numbers that were programmed into it. Bringing the phone up to his ear, he let it ring. His shoulders slumped, head tilting back as he waited to be sent to voicemail, to a voicemail box that probably wouldn’t even let him leave a message.
“What?” Mike’s voice came through on the other end of the line, as unamused as he ever was.
“Did you even send me to the right place?” Jesse asked.
“Did you go to the right place?” he rebutted.
Jesse rolled his eyes, able to picture perfectly Mike’s expression even though the two of them were miles and miles away from each other. “I think I can match a house number and a street name.”
“Okay, then, you’re in the right spot.”
“Does your guy know I’m coming, then? Because I’m out here banging on the door and—”
“Did you really think that banging on the door was the best course of action? For a man that’s currently a fugitive and on the run from—”
“Alright, alright. So,” Jesse shrugged, “what, then?”
“There’s a number in your phone that you’ve never had to call before.” He paused, a meaningful silence that lasted just long enough for Jesse to put two and two together on his own. “Call it.”
Jesse opened his mouth to respond, something along the lines of, “How was I supposed to know?” or “Why wasn’t that part of the directions?” But before he could say anything the line went dead. He huffed before navigating his way through the umpteenth flip phone that he’d had and gone through.
He hovered over the contact saved into his phone as only NV. He looked back up at the windows on the front of the house, hoping to catch some movement in the curtains and getting nothing. Finally, he hit the dial button.
When the person on the other end of the line answered, they didn’t say anything. Jesse could hear the faint waves of static, but no breathing, no voice. “Look, I’m gonna wait out here for five more minutes and then I’m turning around and going home. I’m only out here because Mike—”
“Mike sent you?” the man on the other end of the line finally spoke up at the sound of a familiar name.
“Yeah,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. “Sent me because he’s too busy doing other shit, I guess.” He paused, waited for the man to say something else, and when he didn’t, he said, “Four minutes, dude.”
Jesse waited for a response but it never came. Once more he was faced with a dead phone line and he briefly wondered if there would ever be a time in his life again when people actually gave him a response of some kind before hanging up. A simple “Got it” or “Thanks” would work in lieu of a real goodbye, but he never seemed to get anything these days.
He stood there and continued to stare at the front of the house. He watched the windows, the curtains still not showing any kind of movement. He wasn’t really close enough to hear the sounds of any scuffling around inside but he still strained an ear just in case. Another minute had almost ticked by, which never really felt like a long time until Jesse was standing aimlessly in someone’s driveway, and the front door still hadn’t opened.
Finally hitting the point where he felt like he’d either been set up for failure, or was about to fall into some sort of trap, Jesse shook his head and mumbled a quiet, “Fuck this,” to himself before continuing the trek back to the car.
Just as his fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning in the direction of it, he saw a man walking out from behind the house. He had a bag slung over one shoulder, and a gun clutched with both hands pointed at the ground. Jesse’s face scrunched in confusion as much at the gun as at the state of the man in general.
Mike hadn’t told him much of anything about the errand that he was on, which was typical. He definitely hadn’t given Jesse a description of the person that he was supposed to be transporting which, looking back on it seemed like just as much of a security measure as it was a liability but there was nothing that he was ever going to be able to do about that.
Whoever this guy was, he certainly wasn’t dressed like a man on the run with the exception of the gun in his hands. He didn’t fit the bill for a guy who had been hiding out in a safehouse for who knows how long. Even though his shirt was dingy and wrinkled now, Jesse could see that on a better day, it was nicer than anything that was in his own closet. The boots on his feet weren’t the kind made for the types of treks they would most likely find themselves on.
There was no shortage to the number of comments that crossed Jesse’s mind to make as the man walked closer to him. The one he settled on, however, was emphasized with a perplexed look as he said, “Dude, what are you doing?”
The man mirrored his expression, though there was more annoyance etched into his features than Jesse’s. “What?”
Jesse nodded towards the gun that he was holding. “What are you doing? It’s just,” he held his hands out, gesturing to the space around the two of them, “just us. Gonna pop your ride out of here?”
He kept both hands on the gun still, however the muscles in his arms lost a little bit of their tension. “If you’re my ride,” he said, giving Jesse a pointed once-over as he did, “then yeah, sorry if I don’t wanna just take my chances.”
“You think Mike would send me all the way out here just to—”
“Even if you’re not here to kill me, I don’t exactly trust that you’re gonna be able to stop someone else who wants to,” he explained. He didn’t want to say it, but he also wouldn’t put it past Mike or anyone in their business to send someone all the way out to where he was just to get rid of him. Whoever this kid was that Mike sent didn’t seem like the kind of guy he’d send for that kind of job, but he knew better now than to say things like never.
Jesse rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” Finally reaching and pulling the door open, he said, “Get in. Or don’t.”
Jesse had hardly sat down in the driver’s seat before turning the car back on. He was half-expecting whoever this guy was to turn around and walk back towards the house. Jesse wouldn’t have stopped him. Leaning across the console, Jesse stared out through the passenger window to see what the guy was doing, and found him doing another scan around them before finally opening the door and getting inside.
He watched the man as he set his bag on the floor between his feet. Jesse contemplated offering for him to throw it in the back seat, but the gun still being held in one of the guy’s hands was telling Jesse that the level of trust probably wasn’t quite there yet.
“Jesse,” he said as he shifted to reverse.
“What?”
Jesse looked at him before continuing on to look over his shoulder to back out of the crumbling driveway. “My name is Jesse. This is, you know,” he put the car into drive, “the part where you tell me who you are, what makes you so special.”
He stared at Jesse skeptically for a moment as he started off down the road. The car rattled slightly, filing what would’ve been deafening silence otherwise. He sat and he stared until Jesse turned to give him a quick glance before locking back onto the road. “Dude, it’s gonna be a long-ass drive if you’re just gonna sit there and stare at me in silence.”
He narrowed his eyes just slightly before finally saying, “Nacho.”
The chuckle that Jesse let out at that was reflexive. It was far from the strangest nickname he’d heard, and given the circles that he’d found himself running in lately he should know better than to laugh. But he couldn’t stop himself. He shook his head slightly as he reined in the other laughs that wanted to sneak their way out, an undeniable smirk on his face.
“Nacho,” he repeated with emphasis that was only amusing to him, “right on, yo.”
Jesse sat and waited for another moment longer, wondering if Nacho was going to have anything to say in response to that. He wasn’t looking for the guy’s life story, but he was wondering if Nacho was going to divulge anything about why they were in their current situation. Maybe even say how he knew Mike, or why Mike gave enough of a crap about him to have someone go out and fetch him, but didn’t give so much of a crap to come out and rescue Nacho himself. He’d settle for anything, but as Nacho settled back in his seat, gun still in his lap, Jesse knew that he wasn’t going to get any information that he didn’t pry or dig for.
“Right,” Jesse muttered under his breath. Not wanting to just listen to the rattling of the car on the road, and since his temporary partner didn’t seem to have anything to say, Jesse reached and turned the radio on to fill the void.
Music blared from the speakers for about forty seconds before Nacho shook his head and reached forward to shut it off. Nacho scoffed at the noise, and Jesse rolled his eyes at the lack of it.
Silence persisted for another minute or two before Jesse started to improvise, drumming his hands on the steering wheel. The rhythm didn’t feel familiar to Nacho, and he wondered if Jesse even had something in mind or if it was just stream of consciousness at this point. Nacho turned and looked at him as he drove and decided that there was no forethought happening there.
“Turn it back on,” Nacho finally said with a shake of his head.
“What?” Jesse asked, looking over at the man in the passenger seat.
“The radio.” He leaned so that his elbow was propped on the tiny ledge built into the car door. “Turn it back on,” he repeated as he propped his chin in his hand that wasn’t holding onto the gun.
Jesse rolled his eyes but he did as instructed, just glad to have something aside from his own thoughts to listen to. “Alright.” With both hands back on the wheel, he still found himself tapping his thumbs against it but it wasn’t audible. Eyes still trained on the road, he said, “Should’ve known that Mike wasn’t sending me to pick up anyone fun.”
“I—”
“If you’re looking for fun I think you’re looking in…the worst places possible.”
The sound Jesse made next wasn’t quite a chuckle, just that short, sharp exhale through his nose to prove that he’d heard and understood what Nacho was saying whether or not he agreed with it. Something about the response made it all click for him in a way, why Mike had sent Jesse out to the middle of nowhere to pick this guy up. Nacho might not have been in the divulging mood, probably wouldn’t ever be based on what Jesse had seen so far, but he didn’t need to know anything else to see how the web tangled itself together.
Leaning back in the driver’s seat, Jesse reached to turn the volume up two more notches before letting his hand fall onto the center console instead of back on the steering wheel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nacho give another shake of his head, but neither of them said anything to the other. The ends of Jesse’s mouth curled upwards as he continued on down the road, preparing for a long, quiet drive back home.
#narcovember#book of near misses#better call saul#better call saul fanfiction#bcs#bcs fanfiction#jesse pinkman#jesse pinkman fanfiction#nacho varga#nacho varga fanfiction#my writing#fanfiction#drabblesmc
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so anyway in other news
#dune#children of dune#god-emperor of dune#I want them to keep adapting the books because I want to see them have to reconcile with this#I'm not considering this a spoiler#because this comes from an actual cover of the book#it is called god-emperor of dune#it is the third book in the series#succumb to the worm villeneuve#leto atreides ii#god-emperor leto atreides ii#as his wormsona#also I have a collection of pictures of leto ii as a worm now
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oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT
oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.
SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)
so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!
so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.
the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!
now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.
here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.
but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.
so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.
anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.
#using the tags as a footnote system here but in order:#1. quentin MAY not be dead according to some theories but in the text he is a charred corpse#2. arianne is great and i love her but to be honest. my girl is kinda dumb. just 2 b real.#3. faegon is totally a blackfyre i think it's so obvious it may well be text at this point#it's almost r+l = j level man like it's kind of just reading comprehension at this point#4. relatedly there are some characters i think GRRM has endings picked out for and some i think he specifically does NOT#i think stannis melisandre jon and daenerys all will end up the same. jon and dany war crimes => murder/banishment arc is just classic GRRM#but i think jon's reasoning will be different and it'll be better-written.#im sorry but babygirl shireen IS getting flambeed. in response stannis will commit epic battle suicide killing all boltons i hope#brienne will live but in some tragic 'stay awhile horatio' capacity. likely she will try to die defending her liege and fail#faegon will die there's zero chance blackfyres win ever#now jaime/cersei I do NOT think he knows. my brothers in christ i don't think this motherfucker knows who the valonqar is!!#same with tyrion i think that the author in GRRM wants to do a nasty corruption arc + kill him off but the person in him loves him too much#sansa i have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. we just don't know enough about the northern conspiracy to tell#w/ arya i think he has... ideas. i don't think she's going to sail off to Explore i am almost certain that the show doing that was a cover#because the actual idea he gave them was unsavory or nonviable for some reason. bc like.#why would arya leave bran and jon and sansa? the family she's just spent her whole life fighting to come back to and avenge?#this is suspicious this does not feel like arya this does not feel right#bran will not be king or if he is it'll be in a VERY different way not the dumbfuck 'let's vote' bullshit#i personally think bran is going to go full corruption arc and become possessed by the 3 eyed raven. but that could be a pipe dream#the thing is he's way too OP in the show so the books have to nerf him and i think GRRM is still trying to work out#a way to actually do that.#i don't think he told them what happened with littlefinger or sansa. i think sansa's story is vaguely similar#(stark restoration through the female line etc)#but the queen in the north shit is way too contrived frankly. and selfishly i hope she gets something different#being a monarch in ASOIAF is not a happy ending. we know this from the moment we meet robert baratheon in AGOT#and we learn exactly what GRRM thinks of the people who 'win' these endless wars of succession#and they are not heroes#they are not celebrated#and they are neither safe nor happy
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I've just started Skeleton Key, someone please tell me this 14 year old finally gets a gun. " Oh he's too young-" HES TOO YOUNG FOR LITERALLY ALL THE SHIT HES BEEN THROUGH " He's not ready to kill" HE SLAYED A MAN. HE SLEIGHED A GROWN MAN!!! I love the other inventions they are so cool and Smithers does a great job but please at least ONE gun. or a stun gun that has more than just one fucking dart because that didn't even make it to Point Blanc.
I know he probably won't get a gun, dear god this child needs a break from saving the world.
#I am still pissed at alan blunt#alex rider#generally im opposed to teens having guns but like#alex has already killed plenty of people without guns#id rather have him not killing people at all and just being a regular school boy because god this child needs a break#but if he has to go on dangerpus life threatening missions id want him to be prepared#ik thats probably not the theme that alex rider is trying to sell to me#the first book literally ended with alex being told he was too young for killing#and he IS#the only reason hes had to do it is because of M16#there is probably a lot of trauma thatd come from having to kill someone at that young which i doubt the books will actually delve into#but ik the book isnt trying to say alex should get a gun#but i think he should get a gun#ik it wont happen but like please#the book cover already concerns me why is he drowning why is he bleeding why is there a shark please let this child just catch up on his#homework my god
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Wish there was a way to begin to explain what happened tonight during stream because there’s some kind of gold in Jim thinking that Riddler is fairy (like tinkerbell) but everyone else just thinks he’s calling Ed a slur and the pipeline it leads down, connecting to Bruce thinking babies come from kissing, all the way to Jim asking Ed and Oswald if Tim was “their fairy baby and Tim telling Steph “I think Jim just called me a fairy.” Steph: “sorry you had to find out this way, but we all kind of knew.”
#ravenpuff rambles#y’all it’s fucking wild out here I’m telling you#and it’s the funniest shit in my life to think about Jim having no idea fairy can be used as a slur#and he’s just convinced Ed is an actual mythical being#while literally everyone he talks to keeps going “I don’t think you can say that Jim#all of Gotham is begging their commissioner to stop being homophobic. Jim is just fucking confused why no one is as excited about this as he#also Bruce got bad sex ed in school and then Alfred forgot he was a parent and needed to give Bruce the talk so he just kind of never#learned a goddamn thing.#Bruce tells every one of his kids babies come from kissing. every single time Alfred spits out his tea in shock because B still doesnt know#he has like 12 children and fathered at least one of them biologically and Alfred things surely he’d figure it out#he never does#meanwhile Bruce things talking about kissing makes Alfred uncomfortable because he’s old and British#Luckily the kids at least got a better education#Dick had to learn himself but he gave Jason the full talk with PowerPoints and everything#(Jason begged him to stop because he could learn through books. dick refused)#every subsequent kid has been informed by the one before them#So Jason is unfortunately tasked with teaching Tim.#Tim passes it on to Duke. Duke to Damian. etc#Babs gave Cass the talk though. Dick refused because he had done his one brotherly duty and Jason refused because Cass was older then him#so to Babs it was.#she also gave Steph the talk against her will which Steph thought was stupid because she had already had a kid by then#none of them are allowed to tell Bruce the truth though#Jason tried and Dick covered his mouth before he could finish.#Damian has tried several times but is always interrupted but Tim appearing out of nowhere and tackling him to the ground#I love this stupid fucking family your honor
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ive been switching lanes waaay too fast this week. Anyway having some mini identity crisises over how little i actually understood about nuclear fusion
#me#a shitpost can be blue#physics#i guess#tis about how i knew so little about quarks#like okay i know their names i like knew they had like charges that were colours#thatw e call colours. but id uh missed the part where that leads tp actually looking how they interact and also waves#this came from me helping my best friends little syster#with a presentation on nuclear energy#and so i was just like huh i know it works like that but like why exactly does that give off energy as a byproduct?#and then i. and then i had to sit there like. ah#its been so long since ive actually looked at physics#like interesting physics not explaining basic concepts to a kid for school#cuz i have. highschool physics at best at this point and#uh my grandfather was a phycisist and he was writhing a book on some theories when i was 2 to 3ish#and he was babysitting me and we stayed close till my early teen years#so ive actually always known just tht bit much more about particles specifically then my peers#idk its always been interesting to me#but now im coming over here like oh ive lost the#constant building of knowedge over the years that id gotten used to#because like we would cover some material in school i kinda new#id get curious and look a bunch of atuff up#but ive actively been forgetting physics for a few years now and it idk it hit#im just not keeping up with my sciences#which is a terrible blow to my little curious ass#like ive been keeping up with literary education and fashion history and phylosophy#but ive been missing the biology and physics and chemistry actually#but i dont tend to hyperfocus on theese topics so im jot sure how to keep at it#cuz i like learning stuff like that and sometimes ill go on binges of learning about curves#but idk ive been missing my dose of i guess the harder sciences part of it
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i need to reread wof to finally figure out who my absolute favorite character is
#rave ramblees#like particularly from the first arc#I Hate All Of You#except Clay#he's a perfect boi who can do no wrong#but he's not my favoriteee#i always think i like Glory but she kinda sucks actually...she's just a pretty girl#sunny annoys me but she's so based#starflight is the one you'd THINK i'd like but honestly. eh#his character is so absurdly hard to pin down#like he's kind of introduced as an arrogant nerd emoji guy#and then he's more of an anxious wimp#and then he's just like a kind hearted nervous smart guy????#tsunami is just like. that sort of boisterous angry character i don't love#she's violent but she's not even sexy about it 😔 you should enjoy being covered in blood more smh#when it comes to the SECOND ARC THOUGH#it's the opposite problem. i can't choose a favorite because i love them all#except winter who is me fr but i just hate him#everyone shits on moon but i love her she's my everything#KINKAJOU DESERVED HER OWN BOOK#turtle is perfect. PERIL MY BELOVED. qibli is a silly guy#third arc...ehjyutjhfghjskdjf i guess i like cricket#i kinda dislike blue but his book is the best one so it gives me bias to think i like him when i don't#luna and snowfall though? i can't tell if it was because their books sucked but iiiiii don't like em#and sorry to the sundew stans but she's like tsunami to me
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conspiracy theories really would have you believe that no one ever commits suicide and i feel like that kind of mindset is really not a good one like. these theories spread the belief that someone would NEVER commit suicide if they were working on something they thought was important or if they were planning for the future or if they had friends and family or if they seemed totally normal before they died and all comes from a total lack of understanding of depression and suicide and like how are we supposed to change our cultural attitudes towards suicide if we're just in total denial that it even exists?
#cw sui mention#lmk if anyone needs/wants this tagged with something else#anyway this comes from a tweet i saw implying a researcher who committed suicide while working on a book abt the rape of nanking#must've actually been murdered by the japanese government to cover up their war crimes#and like dgmw the japanese government have gone above and beyond to cover up their past war crimes#but like. people do commit suicide sometimes. it does no one any good to pretend it doesn't happen.#it also really annoyed me because people don't seem to understand that immersing yourself in the worst events in human history#might have a detrimental effect on mental health#i had a lecturer who had to abandon his research and switch research topics bc studying the holocaust was giving him constant nightmares#it's not easy and you need support and help#anyway.
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"You can only keep 20 books out of all the books you own" tag
I saw this originally on @theinquisitxor 's page. I thought I'd do my own version of their tag.
Hypothetically, you are only able to keep 20 of your books. Only one book per author/series. So what books are you keeping?
This was hard. I only picked from books I've read all the way through. This list also includes two honorable mentions (because I couldn't limit myself :/). I'll list the titles and authors at the end.
Frankenstein (1818 edition) by Mary Shelley
Mary's Monster by Lita Judge
Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte
Take Courage: Anne Bronte and the Art of Life by Samantha Ellis
A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf
The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Stories by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls by Emilie Autumn
Byron in Love by Edna O' Brien
Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo and Me by Ellen Forney
The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
Female Husbands: A Trans History by Jen Manion
Persuasion by Jane Austen
My Plain Jane by Cythnia Hand, Brodi Ashton and Jodi Meadows
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton
Literary Theory by Julie Rivkin and Michael Ryan
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi
The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall
(Honorable mentions)
Abigail by Magda Szabo
The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love by bell hooks (not pictured here- but I do own a copy, I just couldn't find it in time for this post).
I tag: @paperbackpropensity, @thatwritererinoriordan, @godzilla-reads, and anyone else who wants to do this! :)
Because of how long my post already is, please make a new post for your own version of the tag. Feel free to tag me back, if you want, but also credit @theinquisitxor for making the original tag.
Thank you and have fun, everyone! :D
#I probably should have put them all in one picture but the stack kept falling over :/#also you couldn't see the covers#are you surprised- probably not?#a lot of these were based on my grad work but some were not#I actually don't own a lot of my favorite books- I used to go to the library a lot#and I didn't add any tbrs because I don't know if I even like any of those yet-but thank goodness this is just hypothetical#very interesting tag game OP#books#bookblr#book covers#I have another set of bookblr cover posts coming up based on my 2023 reading challenge#book tags#20 books#my books#black beauty and wuthering heights were gifts from my grandma#I own three copies of wuthering heights but this one has the prettiest art#austen fans might kill me but I like Persuasion more than Pride and Prejudice#bronte fans might kill me because I like Anne more than Charlotte- and I didn't pick any of Charlotte's books!!! (Rochester sucks)#I kind of agree with Woolf's assessment of Charlotte and uh it's not flattering AND she is the reason Anne is less well known#but Charlotte is also the reason either of her sisters are published at all so I can't hate her- she was bold enough to encourage them#I did a paper on Gilman too#PLEASE read some of Gilman's other stories- they are just as good as yellow wallpaer!#the literary theory book has saved me more than I'd like to admit#many good articles to toss about and tear apart with your fellow grad students if ever you have any doubts about a text#yes I have used the female husbands book in some of my grad work too#I think woolf fans would be cool with me since A Room of One's Own is one of her best/most influential works#and some of these ARE going to be used in future papers too#I LOVE Kate Beaton's history and literature comics#historic fiction#lgbt literature
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