#because of how badly it fucked me up
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feeling incredibly strange and Off today and also everything everywhere all at once is now on netflix. i think we all know what must be done
#will this be good for my mental health? probably not#this is my favorite movie of all time and yet i have only watched it Once#because of how badly it fucked me up#but i’m feeling like tonight is the night.
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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Cuno should join Hardie boys in the future not RCM btw my unpopular hot take opinion thingie.
#disco Elysium#geym#harry and cuno art is cutee#but there is nothing happy in joining rcm i cant see anything but depression in cunos future if he becomes a detective#soo he should join Hardie boys they have their own problems but its actually very much better#like whole game it is already so fucked up playing as harry and seeing how being a cop is so miserable#and even with kim the good cop who trust the system so badly is miserable because he is a cop#and now you want me to believe cuno would be happy if he joins the rcm#plus Cunoesse i dont want her to be alone and her bestie being a pig#i really dont like rcm every time i interact with them with radio or in whirling its dreadful#martinese can be not so healthy environment but compared to rcm its just more hopeful and less dreadful actually#there is still small things in life that makes you happy there some freedom and hope#anyways tldr nooo cuno don't be a pig and hardie boys >>> rcm#now sleepy time for me
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thinking about the reboot mw games collectively and it’s so sadly unfortunate because like. when put up against the other two, mwiii fails so visibly.
first of all you’ve got their thesis/emotional core, right. for mw19, it’s all about the personal motivation of being a solider, the cost of war on an individual. what it means to fight and discovering the importance of what you’re fighting for. for mwii, it’s about trust. the importance of knowing that your team has each others backs, the weight that it has between individuals. what happens when that trust is broken and how it’s found again through vulnerability, because that’s how you truly know you’re there for each other.
and then there’s mwiii..? you should let your sergeant kill a prisoner illegally so said prisoner, when he breaks out of maximum security prison, doesn’t kill your sergeant 4 years later? you should illegally kill people who piss you off (shepherd)? sure there’s the whole “never bury your enemies alive”, but where does that come in to play outside of the soap/makarov interaction? it’s definitely not a valid reason for price to kill an american general in his own office. they could’ve used it for graves if they wanted to take it a step further, but no— graves doesn’t betray the team again, for whatever reason. we’re expected to consider him just a much a member of the team as anyone else, and the narrative treats him as such outside of a few bristly reactions to his involvement.
secondly i take a huge issue with how characters were handled in mwiii. literally everyone is here, and there is no reason for several of them to be. alex felt like a cameo— you see him actually on screen for maybe 30 seconds. farah’s missions feel forced for the sake of her involvement. not that farah shouldn’t be in this game, but makarov’s flimsy reasoning for targeting the ulf is so clearly an excuse to involve her. it feels very random and transparent as a decision to reuse her character because she’s familiar. again with graves— why is he here? i still genuinely do not understand why they decided to retcon his death. it was a perfect arc for mwii to kill him, and him being alive adds absolutely nothing to the story. he has nothing to do in mwiii and there is zero reason for his involvement other than “people liked him in mwii and he has a cool accent.”
within the 141, it’s mostly rehashing of the growth/personality that each of them showed in previous games. none of them have an arc, except maybe price if you’re willing to call the *post credit scene* where he commits cold blooded murder a completion of an arc. gaz, soap, and ghost are static versions of themselves that simply are just … there for most of the plot. they’re not out of character or ruined, but none of them individually have anything going on that can’t be tied back to price.
i think a lot of it comes down to the way they tried to shoehorn mwiii into the original trilogy’s storyline. people loved those games, and nostalgia sells. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that makarov was a big marketing factor for this game— and that’s not to say that mw19 or mwii didn’t abuse that either, but in execution you can feel the difference. price, gaz, soap and ghost are all their own characters miles away from their original trilogy counterparts. makarov… isn’t. he’s a poorly written villain riding on the success of the original trilogy— he’s scary because he’s *makarov*, not because he’s a real threat. it’s cheap. the knockoff “no russian” mission felt insulting. it’s a callback with no real impact in the story, just simply “look! remember when we did this in 2009 and everyone loved it?”
and all of it culminates into a shit ending with shock factor that it tries to make you feel emotional. i’m not sad over this character death. i’m mad, because it’s unearned and lazy. i realize it’s a lot to ask a multi-billion dollar corporation to actually put effort into their stories, but… it’s such a let down when the previous games actually had at least an ounce of passion. i’m just still so disappointed with this game ruining what could’ve been a really interesting and unique story.
#anyways ummm#yeah this has been on my mind for a while#if i was a youtuber id make a whole video essay on this because i am very passionate about how badly they fucked up#i have a character analysis essay for my english class that i actually need to write too#but this is easier because fuuuck#pls pls share your thoughts let’s all complain together#or if you liked mwiii tell me why#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#soap cod#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#mwii#mwiii#mw2#mw3#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#john price#task force 141#tf 141#idk? complaining?#phillip graves#farah karim#modern warfare
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after years of refusing i finally sat down and watched the first episode of supernatural
i. i think i made a mistake
#yeah I know what you’re thinking#how could you not have watched supernatural already???#especially as a tw fan?#you guys I was scared of fucking scary movie#I’m a coward#i could only watch one badly cgi-ed show about supernatural creatures at a time#and tw has dylan o’brien tyler hoechlin AND ian bohen#for 13yo me it was a no brainer#anyways i knew at about the 30 minute mark that I did in fact made a mistake#because now I HAVE to watch the whole thing#and i have absolutely no time to do that#it’s so long guys 😭#and cas doesn’t show up until season 4????#supernatural
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TF One D-16
#poll#maccadam#transformers#smash or pass#request#d-16#tf one#look. listen to me. i want the movie to be good. i want it to be good so badly.#but i simply do not trust it. its giving marvel movie and that has me Incredibly Fuckin Worried#because i do not want this franchise to turn into generic safe crowd pleaser action comedy allergic to genuine emotion generator no. 6483754#i do not want cliche heavy low effort lowest common denominator movie afraid to do anything even slightly weird beyond surface level#like. look. as much as i dunk on bayverse. as much as i voice my distaste for the designs and everything micheal bay has ever done#i respect the hell out of them for letting those robots be fucked up aliens#with weird nasty unfamiliar biology#and for having intense and serious and deathly somber moments#even if they butcher the characterization of some of the bots#cough cough give me your face ill kill them all optimus#im also not crazy about it looking like optimus and megatron come from the same place in the bottom of society#its so much more compelling for megs to come from the very bottom and be hyperaware of how bad everything is#whole orion has more of an everyman position. a cushy library job. not afforded luxuries but not rotting at the bottom#because then they learn from each other. orion piecing together hiw bad things get while megs picks up how in the dark the mid caste is#also genuinely truly if i have to hear bumblebee say 'well that just happened' im walking through the space bridge into a vacuum#welp. that turned into an essay. dont mind me being a hater 💖
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Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪
gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting
#kabukeo#something to bear in mind#other's art#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#r.b. sous chef gregor#namesake#i'm sorry for doing a haha funny joke reply i just like#i spent like ten minutes pacing around my house when i saw this in my inbox i'm not exaggerating#thank you for my life i love him so bad#do i need a gift art tag now i just like. i don't even know what to say#i haven't even made any actual proper posts yet i just made a silly blog i feel like i haven't done anything to earn this#to stop myself from blubbering i'm just going to respond to the tags on your rb#no problem for providing details again i think about this grown ass fucking man too god damn much but it's not a problem.#problems are only problems if you call them a problem. it's not a problem.#thank you for seeing the vision on rhino geg.#since kjh refuses to release him that just means that we can continue to acknowledge this as true and canon and there's nothing he can do#[ignore that he has a cameo in a card in game no he doesn't]#to me rosespanner is like. very much the type of guy that when you're crushing on him you try to talk to him#and then you get him to start talking about stuff he's interested in#and then before long you end up agreeing to watch something you don't care for in the slightest#solely for the purpose of having something in common to talk with him about#meanwhile he doesn't pick up on you trying to flirt with him like at all#anyway i could go on about how badly i need hex nail gregor for both bear reasons and thematic Actual reasons#but i'm pretty sure i'm about to hit the tag limit. so i'll just say thank you again for the cannibal i will treasure him forever and alway#it took me like thirty minutes to type this all out after i sat down to actually do it because i kept getting embarrassed lmao#offerings to beargregor#< gift art tag#that's it. thank you for my life once again. keep fighting the good fight soldier. we'll get this to be common fanon one day. trust.
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what's the worst thing you watched and kept up with (at least for a while) because you were gay and begging for scraps? mine was probably pretty little liars
#what was her name? emily? whatever it was i was a simp for the lesbian character on PLL#and put up with three seasons of fucking Nonsense for it#words and things#i say 'probably' because there are worse shows i watched for various girls that i had crushes on over the years#but thats a different kind of simping. i didnt watch them for girl kissing i watched them for a girl who i knew was probably straight#gay#lesbian#bisexual#<- yall got it the worst half of these things were subtly biphobic too#oh god does anyone remember that show where the MC was a succubi but didn't know about monsters#so she thought she was just a freak and was always on the run until the monster world finds one of her kills and hunts Her down#and she ends up. idk working at a monster bar and helping her Monster Cop boytoy hunt runaway monsters? or something?#listen what i remember from that is how badly i wanted her and her simp (female roommate maybe?) to fuck instead#and i swear they queerbaited me a little. but i might have just been delusional tbh
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sekai au 👊😔
#my post#hatsune loopku.....#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#I was SUPPOSED to make a modern au but look. where that got me#prpject sekai.....#hsatsune miku......#woaw.........#I haven't planned this yet. I just wanted to draw loop with Miku's pigtails really badly because I came up with the shape idea and went lik#ogguuguuuuGUG#oh bell yeas#actually well I have a little#small group of college students who met via tutor group (by odile) that turned into a book club and maybe band?#they would all suck playing instruments honestly#I made it a sekai au because I needed loop to go SOMEWHERE and went insane trying to figure something out till I finally went fuck whatever#fine#siffrin made a sekai and loop is there. fine. whatever. fine. yeah. fine#I don't know how the timeloop will come in.#I cant have both a timeloop and a sekai at once.#I would forget the other exists#and focus all on one#or it would be too much at once#also its kind of hard to do a timeloop like the one in-game in a modern way?#there's no good rocks to be crushed by that aren't like a collapsing building anyway#OH OH also this might be the last project sekai related art you see for a WHILE#this game hit my brain worse than project sekai I'm so serious#I've burned through almost all of my sketchbook and there are three(3) drawings that aren't siffrin#THREE.
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Oh, so, like, the entire first season's establishment of the characters and their interactions don't actually matter in Helluva Boss. Okay, cool.
Like, I get that characterization develops over time and the writers come up with new ideas and places they want to take the story, but. So much of the Stolas/Blitzø stuff recently isn't character development: it's retconning.
#I'm just salty because i was heavily invested in the unhealthy dynamic as i interpreted it#instead of the unhealthy dynamic the show decided on.#uhhhh. yeah I'll throw this in the crit tag#helluva boss critical#I'm mostly just not invested in this show anymore. alas! but i do still very much enjoy the art and animation style#every time there's shiny glowy eyes i go 😍#anyway it does just take a tiny amount of editing to have this come across how i would very much enjoy#where Stolas is just. hypocritical#he wants love and a relationship so badly#and that's such an interesting characterization and I'm here for it!#if we also just. acknowledge the way he was SO obsessed with sex while Blitzø was awkward about it#like there is a lot of mention of that - Blitzø says he thought that's what Stolas wanted from him#and is confused about why things are changing!! (i love it so much)#but the show seems to take Stolas's side instead of allowing that 'yeah‚ he doesn't recognize how his internal emotions were never seen‚#because all Blitzø sees are Stolas's external actions - exactly the problem that Stolas is having with Blitzø not communicating!'#AND i still think there should be more emphasis on 'hey yeah it was really fucked up to manipulate Blitzø into sex like he did'#the crystal didn't magically fix it and they should have issues with Blitzø not understanding his worth to Stolas#because from his POV: Stolas really does only want him for sex‚ is paying him with access to the book and human realm‚#and has repeatedly sexualized him And seemed ashamed of it when other important people knew#(compared to how he acted towards Blitzø around other Imps) (which makes it seem like he doesn't care about what Imps think at all)#Stolas can be sad and his emotions are interesting but not when all of the fandom I'm seeing is taking his side#me at all times always: i think these characters/this ship should be worse!!!
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'You really just can't fuckin' quit me, can you?' Vitali scoffed, nostrils flaring on exhale and the smoke of his cigarette stung in his nose as his eyes followed Nick's frantic pacing back and forth through the tunnel. 'Assuming I ever was addicted to you in the first place,' he said in return, tilting his head up in defense when Nick's gaze snapped in his direction. 'It means nothing anymore, Nick— you ruined everything for me. There is nothing left for us now.'
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#cp2077#cyberpunk 2077#art#art:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearart#sorry man i'm thinking entirely too much about young vitali again he makes me fucking INSANE!!!!!!!#the cigarette in question is a fake thang by the way but like. it adds to the drama of quitting something/someone#with the whole promise he made to mikhail to stop smoking but then picking it up again anyway and losing mikhail#but missing him every single day of his life and kind of being addicted to the memories of him and trying to satisfy his needs#through nick but nick can't provide and he isn't mikhail and vitali isn't addicted to nick per se BUT.#he is addicted to the temporary relief he can get from nick because it reminds him of his time with mikhail#do you see. how insane all of this is and how insane he is and how badly i need to explode everything with my mind. anyway
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Mace's scream as he says "We're going to go into Avantris and Chill where we can decompress cause tensions are FUCKING HIGH", yeah feeling that in my soul, what was THAT
#tk speaks#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#End of episode 41 got me fucked up#how does a shadow and a brass frog fuck everyone up so badly holy fuck#I'm scared to go into the next ep fam#don't know if i can do that tonight#i do have certain spoilers pertaining to this because of a Short that came up on my feed#but i'm scared of the getting from here to there rn lol
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I feel like a lot of fantasy high parents are just like yeah in the context of the fact that it’s 1 a comedy show and 2 a dnd suburbia combo a lot of this stuff is normal for who these people and how they raise and interact with their kids but oh my god that is fucked up
#fantasy high spoilers for the tags#this entirely about fabians relationship with his parents because those are fucked up so badly#but also just like the way sandra lynn interacts with fig is just like there’s a lot there#like it’s a comedy show so we do in fact laugh through hallariel threatening fabian and sandra lynn downing wine to be able to talk to fig#but like if this were any other show that shit would not be normalized#not a critique of fantasy high at all! in context of the show obviously they’re not doing the deeper analysis into stuff like that!#its an improv comedy! analyzation of characters and their relationships and actions is what rhe fandoms for!#it gives a bunch of stuff for us to go on and I love that it’s just interesting to talk about the dynamics and how they’re perceived#in universe by the actual characters vs in the show lense#hallariel seacaster is my opp but I also love her as a character#same with bill seacaster like opp actions but such a fun funny and interesting character#sandra lynn is not an opp but she verges on it occasionally and I also love her character#I’m rambling again but the bad kids parental relationships make me go anfnjakfbejakakdkkkea#autism (mads) speaks#fantasy high hours#fantasy high#dimension 20#dimension 20 fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 fh
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can someone explain to me why does my mum don't want me to be in my room and is forcing me to do my work downstairs 😃
#girl . im holding your hand while saying this#if im in my room it's because i chose to be#here i said it#i do not like being downstairs when there are people calm down#she just told me “what are you doing with your life” GIRL 😭calm down im begging you#she always want to know what i'm doing ? how am a supposed to tell her i just dress up and do silly things#she doesn't even want me to have my pc in my room 😭 girly pop ..#killing myself#she always think whatever i do i do it only because it's something she doesn't want me to do like 😟#how can you fuck up so badly . turns out you just don't want me to do things i enjoy#i kinda wanna hit her with a hammer sometimes but i stay kind 💗#someone help me i just wish she just stopped caring about me anymore i feel so trapped she always want to know what i'm doing#she's always behind my back it's sickening#as im typing this she literally called my name to tell me to hurry up and do my work downstairs THIS IS INSANE GLFGH#what is this tomfoolery#anyway yeah i'm good#j is rambling
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recent stuff i'm seeing on this website is reminding me of the shitfit I got hurled at me last year when one of my posts about trans-Papa went around and people telling me I was being self-transphobic and "mocking trans bodies" and "Secretly a Fetishest" or "secretly a cis woman" and whatever the fuck because I gave him boobs and said he had a baby and man it really is dumbfounding how literally fellow trans people will be so vitriolic and hateful towards someone who is literally just expressing their transness and trying to be more comfortable with their own body via a depiction of a character or oc and when these people get pulled up on it Immediately start using their own dysphoria as a shield from criticism.
if it is an instinct of yours as a trans person to start self-flagellating and getting distressed and hurling insults when you see a trans man with boobs or a trans woman with stubble, this is something you need to recognise and challenge within yourself.
#it was literally a year ago! i remember because it was right around my birthday!#which is in. checks notes. 4 days <3#its just so sad to me#I wanna take these people by the shoulders and be like. do you have any idea how badly you fucked me up?#how you sent me back to feeling ashamed of my body? just as I was starting to have fun and be confident? any idea at all?#you dont know me. ive been so close to giving up this year.#txt#delete later
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Therapy working so well that everytime I think something bad about myself I just see my therapist wagging her finger saying “nuh uh uh”
#every week I come in and I say ‘this is how I’m a bad person’ and her looking at me with that look#I told her something today that I had been dreading. something I’ve never told anyone that is My Deepest Darkest Secret#and after I told her while crying she was like ‘Jasper. you are so extremely normal.’#and then she started crying. because she said she could tell how badly ive been beating myself up about it for so long#I love her so fucking much. she has literally saved my life countless times and I know it’s her job but#I feel like I can never say thank you enough#anyways. being a freak is the most normal thing in the world#I love you hillary thank you#yapping today#jasperbarks
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