#because i know i’m in a better place than i was at 12 or 14 or 21 or whatever

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 20

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19

M!troll x f!reader

1.2 k words

Two steps forward and one step back. Just because both of you admitted to wanting more doesn’t mean there’s not still a lot of unknowns and worries.

(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)

————

Zen had pulled the covers up and over both of you, trying to block out the light while you very gently played with his hair to help him fall asleep. Medicine, tea, and left over pastries all consumed, it was now just time to sleep it off.

“I did not do anything too bad, did I?” he asked cautiously.

“What? When you were drunk last night?” you asked back.

“Yeah”.

“Nothing bad but you were an absolute pain when I was trying to wipe your face off. You kept trying to cuddle and nuzzle, which would have been sweet if you weren’t drenched and really needed your face cleaned”.

“Well, if that is the worst of it then that is not that bad, and it seems you did manage to eventually wipe me off at any rate”.

“I had to straddle you and pin you down to get you to hold still enough”.

“That is still not bad really, and I quite like being under you” he purred.

“I could tell, because when I tried to just lay on you and cuddle afterwards you wouldn’t stop grinding on my leg”.

“Oh” he said sounding a little embarrassed now.

“I ended up giving you a hand so to speak”.

“As in…?”

“As in you told me you liked my hands since they’re small and soft and feel better than using yours” you hinted.

“Oh spirits” he groaned.

“It’s fine” you smiled against his chest, “I mean you were such a good boy for me after all”.

You could not help but enjoy the soft sigh he let out in response to your words, how much he enjoyed the praise was rather endearing.

“And that is it? That is everything that that happened?” he asked.

“Well you got your shirt stuck on your tusks and couldn’t get it off, so I had to rescue you from that. And then you ended up getting cum all on your chest and stomach and when I went to get up to grab a washcloth to help you clean up you pulled me on you again so we both ended up being sticky”.

“I am so sorry” he sounded mortified now.

“It’s just cum. I mean I didn’t want to sleep sticky but it’s fine”.

“But that is it though?”

“Well” you began again, “You also told me that swallowing after the blowjob was attractive and were very concerned that it made you weird for liking it. Oh, and then even after you finished you still were grinding between my thighs so at that point I just rolled over and let you fuck my thighs until you fell asleep”.

Zen stayed silent, shifting uncomfortably for a while before finally saying something, “I am so sorry for how I acted, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable”.

“Uncomfortable? Zen you never made me uncomfortable. I was a little frustrated when you wouldn’t hold still for me to wipe your face, and sure I wouldn’t have chosen to sleep covered in cum, but you didn’t do anything wrong. We got drunk, you ate me out, then you drunkenly babbled and were horny, all very normal things” you assured him. You figured he would probably be a bit embarrassed over the babbling, but this was not the reaction you expected.

“Why would you think I was uncomfortable?” you asked.

“I was pushy, right?”

“No, you really weren’t. And even when I turned you down you didn’t push back or anything. I know I got weird and quiet earlier when you were talking but that wasn’t because of yesterday, I’m just not used to that sort of intensity, it’s wasn’t because you humped my leg” you laughed, hoping to drag Zen out of the beginning of what seemed to be a panic spiral.

“I did not want to get married” he said quietly.

“And I didn’t want to leave my kingdom. But this is where we are now and I don’t think it’s a bad place to be”.

“I know, and I am happy having you in my life so please do not be upset, but you always expected an arranged marriage even if this is not exactly how you expected it. I expected to ever marry, and if I did then I assumed it would be to someone I grew to know and love over time. I still do not know what to do. I never got the chance to love someone, to be together with someone truly, and now I do not know to do this”.

You kissed his chest and then nuzzled the spot you kissed. “I don’t know if it makes you feel any better, but I’ve never had the chance to have a relationship either, so this is all new to me too. And I never expected to actually have a real relationship in an arranged marriage, but this is honestly better than I expected to have”.

“I truly am glad that this is not awful for you, I would not be able to stomach it if you were miserable here, and I do not mean to sound callous, but I worry that while this is better than expected for you that it is not enough for me”.

It stung, and you were happy Zen could not see your face to see the hurt on it. The two of you rarely spoke about the conditions of your marriage, it was not like either of you could change it after all, but especially after he had just spoken about getting to know you and courting you it hurt to hear how upset over things he sounded.

“I thought you just said wanted to court me” you mumbled.

“I do. I want to get to know you, and fall for you, and know that if we met and got the chance to choose that I could say I would have chosen you, and you me. But I still barely know you and I hate that. I hate that you barely know me and I worry that we will get to know each other and not like the people we are.

“And maybe it is selfish, but I hope you will love me one day. I do not want a marriage where my wife just tolerates me, or is just alright with me. I want to be a good husband and person who you can love” he paused, “And I want to love you” he added quietly.

You had always been alright with the idea of loveless marriage as long as your husband was decent enough. It was fine for your parents, and everyone else in your social standing after all, it was just the culture.

Zen was kind, respectful, he took care of you, and was more than just a decent husband by far, but he needed things to be more than just decent between the two of you. He needed a lot more than you did.

“Then lets do that” you broke the silence.

“What?”

“Get to know each other better. We both already decided on that earlier anyways, and I know that now you’re worried about things not working, but I like the idea of loving my husband. I’d like to try” you nuzzled against him, hoping to reassure him.

He tightened his grip on you, and while it was faint you heard a slight purr, “I’d like that too”.

————

Part 21

Tag list

@blushycadaver @hazyspacefairy @littlelovebug98 @tufflepuff23 @graveblanketgreen (won’t let me tag you)

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 27. missed me?

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. therapist! toji. a very broken marriage (cont.). heavy angst but i am still not gege. infidelity/adultery. corruption. family drama.

word count: 3.0k

notes: i hope everyone has been swell! sending hugs to every corner of the world, and i hope my writing can be your little break from reality. i have also added more chapters to the fic since i cannot wrap up the story in the next few chapters, ha. enjoy! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

12:33 PM Toji called 12:33 PM He told me that my daughter collapsed in front of the twins? 12:34 PM And you got into a fight with her? 12:34 PM How did that happen? 12:34 PM Are you with her right now? 12:37 PM Answer me please, I need to make sure she’s fine (Missed Call) 12:38 PM Can you phone me back asap? Thx 12:38 PM I’m still in the office right now, wrapped up the weekly meeting with the operating committee 01:01 PM Hello? 01:01 PM Hey, are you there? (Missed Call) 01:12 PM Toji called again, he gave me a rundown, and I have to say… 01:12 PM I’m very, very disappointed in you

Perhaps the better word would be terrified, but Naoya was truly and genuinely astounded.

How the fuck did this happen?

Naoya could feel his breathing grow shallow and his body turn cold as he read through each message from his Chief Operating Officer once, twice, three times. For a while, he stared at his chat history, his shaking thumb hovering over the screen while his mind went blank.

What started as an argument between just you and him now had your father involved. Not only your father, though—but also Mai, Maki, and now Toji?! How bothersome. Of course, you had to drag everyone into this! The world always had to revolve around you.

Naoya could not think straight as his chauffeur sped him back to the office from Mari’s apartment later that day. Even when he returned to his CEO suite, he could hardly focus on his conversations with department heads or strategy discussions with the Board when Daisuke L/N’s messages haunted him like an omnipresent and malevolent spirit.

‘I’m very, very disappointed in you.’

Goddamnit!

Naoya did not miss how your father was absent from the afternoon’s meetings either (although he was not stupid enough to point that out aloud at work when Naoya himself was involved in why), nor did he miss his own father’s narrowed gaze which seemingly lingered on him longer than usual.

Oh goodness, did he know, too?

No, he couldn’t have. Otherwise, Naobito Zenin would have pulled him to the side by now and given him a long and stern lecture.

Yet, when the early evening arrived, Naoya ultimately decided he must talk to you directly.

Not because he actually cared about your well-being. (Ha, as if.) But because he needed to quash the possibility that the rest of his family, particularly his Board Chairman father, could get a whiff of his quarrel with you before all hell broke loose.

Moments like these warranted him to push aside his dignity before things could worsen. 

His greatest fear would be for this recent argument to become a domino effect, as the downfall in this marriage would certainly place him in hot water.

With that, the current Zenin CEO then tapped his phone for your contact.

He needed to check up on you but ended up in voicemail. 

So, he dialed once more. 

Voicemail.

Again. 

Why were you not picking up his calls? 

You always found a way to irk him with how ungrateful you could be. Sure, there was no secret that you hated him. He would admit he was rude, belittling, and patronizing, treating you like a trophy to tote around, a doll to splay at his will, and a woman who needed to learn her place. He knew this and you knew this, because he exclusively tolerated this marriage as a means to accelerate his life. 

Despite everything, he made sure his wife was well-fed and looked after, only for you to throw a tantrum and now get his extended family involved? Ludicrous. Why not focus on the good things about him? Could you not see how he had attempted to reach you at least thirty times throughout the day? (His ultimate reason admittedly was selfish, but that’s not the point.)

Anywho, since when did you think that ignoring him was acceptable?

In a frustrated fit, Naoya tossed his phone into his desk’s paper heap and huffed.

To set things straight, he had made many sacrifices in his life to get to his seat today, like how—back in the day—he had to watch TV anchors praise his older cousin while sipping champagne in the Maldives with…whatever girlfriend he had been with at the time. Life had been hard, but he at last had everything he should’ve been entitled to since birth. This position, this family, and this company belonged to him, regardless of what stupid fucking traditions dictated.

Unsurprisingly, when Naoya took the helm, everyone scrutinized him. Sure, he might have lacked in a few (or, more accurately, a lot of…) regards since he hadn’t been built into the position the way Toji Zenin had been, but having you as his wife made him look good in family conversations and public discourse. 

He just needed a little more time to get people to trust him. Then, once all the pieces clicked into place, he resolved to toss this marriage to the side.

That ‘time,’ he hoped, would be soon.

For now, he just needed to keep you for as long as he sought fit. 

Buzz.

Well, speak of the devil.

You must finally be returning his call.

The sky had gone dark in the windows behind him now, but Naoya practically leaped from his seat, scrambling and shoving papers aside to find his phone buried beneath several printed reports. He hated how his hands quivered as he held the device, not that he could control himself at this point, and he snapped the moment he swiped at his screen.

“Where the hell are you?” Naoya hissed, clipped and impatient.

He did not get an immediate response, which infuriated him even more since he taught you to acknowledge him on the phone. 

But then, he learned why.

Because instead, Naoya heard a low and harrowing chuckle.

“I guess you missed me, kid.”

The end to a marriage, for obvious reasons, would never be as glamorous as the start to one.

Many would dream for years about a wedding, but far fewer would think the same about a separation.

‘I'm going to file for a divorce.’

Admittedly, you were nervous when you announced the decision aloud in a crowded room for many eyes to see and ears to hear.

After all, even if you recognized the need for a change in your matrimony, you feared the consequences. You didn't want to cause your families to grow apart or your fathers to resent you. In addition, Naoya had been such a dominating fixture in your life these past few months, and he had led you to believe your days without him would be meaningless.

However, no longer could you set aside your emotions for his sake, nor would you expend extensive effort to salvage your marriage for other’s desires. Your sole purpose henceforth was to live a satisfied life without sacrificing more than what you already have for a husband who hardly look your way.

As a result, when you acknowledged divorce as the best possible solution to your demise, you were grateful for the emotional support and relieved faces from your worried father, the younger teenagers, and your trusted therapists.

Especially Toji. 

“Come with me,” the very man ordered once you stepped into his apartment’s corridor with him. 

Everyone else had been brought down to the apartment’s lower level after the earlier discussion in the master bedroom, with Megumi forced to take on the role as host in his father’s absence. The younger Fushiguro might be aloof and sometimes awkward, but word had gotten around that he was a good chef with his aunts nagging at him to prepare dinner.

“C’mon, don’t you want to show us what recipes you have learned on TikTok?” 

“...No, not really. Can we just order KFC?”

The other conversation that drifted upward was between your father and the other three therapists, which made sense given that they all used to be colleagues back when Toji had been the CEO. 

There was laughter, chatter, and the entire brouhaha brought ease to your nervous heart. 

“Ladies first,” Toji said at some point after you had trailed behind him. He had taken you several meters ahead, opening the door to invite you inside. “This is my home office.”

You did not yet see the point in him doing a House Tour 2.0, but you walked in upon his gesture anyway. The hardwood floor beneath you felt warm, your body heating up slightly despite the coolness in the air. 

Toji kept his office space as tidy as the rest of his abode. He had a white leather couch situated by the doorway and a workspace configuration to the side with desk lamps, an expensive chair, and a dual monitor setup. 

Above his screens, Toji probably had fifteen accolades in cherry wood frames, each to showcase his achievements as countless magazines named him the best leader, the top executive, and the most promising innovator. 

What caught your attention, however, was the wall beside his workstation. 

There was a corkboard. 

At first glance, the tacked-on magazine cutouts and photograph snippings seemed like a messy litter on the brown surface, but thin red strings—which made this look like a detective movie prop—connected one piece to another and suggested an order to the chaos. 

“What is this?” you asked, a question not directed to anyone in particular as you neared the corkboard without waiting for Toji’s permission.

Upon closer distance, the vague letterings and images became clear.

The newspaper cover story fastened at the very center read in big bold print: “Zenin Corporation Announces New CEO.” 

As the realization dawned that this was what Toji meant to show you, the man’s measured footsteps came up from behind you. He stopped at your side, watching how you inspected each element on the corkboard as though his room was your laboratory and he was your professor.

“The World Economic Forum estimates that more than 5% of global GDP is lost to corruption around the world each year,” he began, crossing his thick arms firmly over his chest. “Many articles you see here had been published online only to be taken down not even a few hours later. I suspect that Naoya this year alone has spent hundreds of thousands, if not millions, bribing the Japanese media to curate the public image he needs.” He then pointed around. “Look for yourself.”

You would have called Toji out for being a total creep if the objective of this collection had not been obvious. With scarlet threads weaving together to reveal an elaborate web of deceit, Toji had been curating an exposé.

There was one photo from your wedding day. Standing at the altar with Naoya, you looked so happy and blissful back then, the vibrant bouquet in your hands a colorful contrast against the pristine white of your Vera Wang wedding gown, your face radiant with a smile oblivious to the heartache that would come.

This publication, you have seen before.

What you did not recognize, however, were the articles dated from nearly a year ago, well before your wedding day, with even more printed five months ago, two months ago, one week ago…

…and reading the titles made you feel sick.

Japanese Hotshot Shares Intimate Kisses with Rumored Girlfriend Photos Reveal Recently Married Executive’s Secret Affair? Exclusive: Zenin Corporation CEO Spotted in Mexico with Alleged Lover

The accompanying pictures had the same two subjects in plain clothes and baseball caps, showing off little skin to reveal their identities to prying busybodies. Yet, upon an immediate glance, you recognized Naoya Zenin as the taller figure and assumed his very precious ladyfriend must be the other.

Photographers had snapped the two embracing each other in a cab’s backseat, sharing a secret kiss after a luxury mall date, and holding hands while stepping into a private plane. 

All to say, you were revolted. 

The more you mulled on these printouts, the more you could feel visceral disgust build in your chest. 

To think you once contemplated saving a marriage with a man like that. Whatever his plan was for him and this woman, did he intend to make you a side character to their romance until the day you would die?

Your gaze darted around, and the photo with the most unobstructed view of their faces placed you on pause.

All of a sudden, a hard lump formed in your throat because, Holy shit, she’s…stunning. 

Seeing the woman who your husband had had his sights on immediately unlocked a whole new level of insecurities within you. 

No wonder Naoya could not bring himself to be married to you when he had her. 

The woman was exquisite, to say the least. Despite the picture’s poor quality, you noticed her bright elegant face, plump pink lips, and long full lashes—precisely the characteristics that would turn heads in a crowded room. In fact, you secretly wished that you possessed her overflowing pulchritude as well.

If she was an angel from your point of view, she must also be in Naoya’s eyes all the more. 

You gingerly drew a circle around her with a finger.

“Is she his mistress?” 

Why did you even ask that? You already knew the answer. But, you wanted to confirm the facts rather than satisfy your curiosity. 

Meanwhile, Toji ran his index finger very slowly over his lower lip. 

He answered a while later. 

“Yes.” As you had expected. Then, he added, “But she’s also my ex-wife.”

What—

Your jaw dropped to the trenches. 

If you thought tonight had been filled with enough revelations, this one really sealed the deal. 

His…ex-wife?!

Unlike the man before you, hiding your deepest emotions had never been your forte. Instead, you had gone stiff as your mind reeled in shock.

“She’s…Tsumiki’s mom,” you said quietly at the realization. 

Yes, you have heard a lot about her. However, to make the connection between the lady in the picture and the woman who owned currently Naoya’s (and previously Toji’s) devotion stirred awake a thousand emotions. 

Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. 

Megumi had told you plenty about her before.

‘Treated me like a bag of shit, spent all my dad’s money on her shopping sprees every weekend, and even neglected her own daughter—my stepsister.’

Her pretty face could only go so far in disguising her dark heart. 

With this understanding, you finally grasped Toji’s bitterness when he first met you. How fickle fate had been to him. Comical, even! For his younger cousin to take his succession rights to the clan, his executive position in the company, and—to top everything off—his wife from his family. Only for you (of all eight billion people in the world) to show up at Toji Fushiguro’s office asking for sex therapy?

Now, you comprehended why Toji and Naoya despised each other. 

In addition, you understood why Toji and his colleagues had been suspicious of you. Trust takes time to build yet a moment to shatter, and all of them have had this trust broken before. By Naoya, yes. 

But also, by her.

“What’s her name?” you had to ask, ignoring the searing ache in your heart.

Your therapist, on the other hand, tried to play off his vexation by shoving his hands into his front pockets.

“Mari,” and also, “She still uses my last name.”

Wow. 

The audacity that some people in the world have.

“Here let me help.”

“Hm?”

At first, you did not quite get what Toji was referring to until he started tearing the magazine photos and newspaper stories.

Wordlessly, you gawked at him, both in confusion and astonishment.

“Why—”

Before you could complete the thought, Toji had placed everything into a neat stack and thrust the pile into your hands. “There,” he said with finality. “If you are to file for a divorce, take these to Naoya. See what the bastard has to say. Staying with him any longer would be a fatal flaw.”

Toji had never seen a single interaction between you and his cousin in person, yet he could confidently say your husband was the hamartia in your life. Perhaps the signs had always been obvious. Or perhaps, his recent experience in a toxic marriage allowed Toji to notice the red flags in yours from miles away.

“If you give him too much time, he’ll come up with his offenses,” he went on. “We don’t need to outfight him, though. We simply need to outthink him.”

Something about Toji’s emerald eyes gleamed in a way you had not seen before. 

It was a different side to him, one where he planned and strategized, a flickering core of the businessman he used to be.

“Hi.” 

You and Toji froze at the sound.

Megumi’s voice had startled you two as the boy peered in from the hallway, waving a phone in his hand—your phone. “Sorry to interrupt but, uh, he called again.”

Interestingly enough, Megumi did not need to explicitly mention a name for you all to know who he referred to. As your screen flickered on, you noticed the numerous missed calls and text messages that had flooded your notifications, all from one particular culprit, no doubt. 

Instead of embarrassment, your body surged with aggravation at how your husband suddenly seemed desperate to know your whereabouts. 

So now he cared, huh?

Before you could retrace your steps towards the door, however, Toji had already done so. He retrieved the device from his son’s hands and started dialing a number from your phone. 

You tried to stop him. “Hey, what are you—”

But Toji dismissed you, pressing your phone to his ear as the call began to ring, and his lips curled into a wicked grin when the other line must have picked up.

“I guess you missed me, kid.”

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: I am excited to show the interaction between Toji and Naoya—I have been thinking about their conversation for a long time! This chapter is less of a whirlwind and more of a setup for the rest to come. Thank you for your support!

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[daitranscripts]

Solas Romance

The Truth

Solas Masterpost

Solas leads the PC to a grotto in Crestwood.

Solas: The Veil is thin here. Can you feel it on your skin, tingling?

They stop, and Solas places a hand on the PC’s face.

Solas: I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me.

Dialogue options:

General: I already know. [1]

Flirt: Interesting! [2]

General: You don’t have to do that. [3]

1 - General: I already know. PC: That’s not necessary, Solas. You’re my… Solas: That is the question, is it not? [4]

2 - Flirt: Interesting! PC: I’m listening, and I can offer a few suggestions. Solas: I shall bear that in mind. [4]

3 - General: You don’t have to do that. PC: I know what we mean to each other. Solas: Even so. [4]

4 - Scene continues.

Solas: For now, the best gift I can offer is… the truth. You are unique. In all Thedas, I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the Fade. You have become important to me, more important than I could have imagined.

Dialogue options:

End relationship: I don’t think this will work. [5]

I feel the same way. [6]

5 - End relationship: I don’t think this will work. PC: Solas, I’m sorry. I’m afraid you were right. I was too impulsive earlier. Solas: (Sighs.) Even in this, you surprise me. Solas: I shall speak no more of it. Still, know that whatever happens, you are a rare spirit in this world. Goodbye. He leaves. Scene ends.

6 - I feel the same way. PC: As you are to me. Solas: Then what I must tell you… the truth… Your face. The vallaslin. In my journeys in the Fade, I have seen things. I have discovered what those marks mean. PC: They honor the elven gods. Solas: No. They are slave markings, or at least, they were in the time of ancient Arlathan.

7 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: That can’t be right. [8]

Stoic: That doesn’t matter. [9]

Angry: That’s a lie! [10]

Sad: We were wrong? [11]

8 - Investigate: That can’t be right. PC: My clan’s Keeper said they honored the gods. These are their symbols. Solas: Yes. That’s right. A noble would mark his slaves to honor the god he worshipped. After Arlathan fell, the Dalish forgot. [back to 7]

9 - Stoic: That doesn’t matter. PC: Whatever the marks were before, the Dalish have reclaimed them. They mark me as one of them. Solas: I know. For everything I have said about the Dalish, I admire that indomitable spirit. [12]

10 - Angry: That’s a lie! PC: Why would you say that? Solas: Because it’s true. PC: Bullshit! That’s bullshit! Is there anything in this world you won’t tear down just to prove how smart you are? Why would you tell me this? Solas: Because you deserve better! [12]

11 - Sad: We were wrong? PC: So this is… what? Just one more thing the Dalish got wrong? Solas: I’m sorry. PC: (Breathes.) We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep? Relics of a time when we were no better than Tevinter? Solas: Don’t say that. For all they got wrong, the Dalish did one thing right. They made you. [12]

12 - Scene continues.

Solas: I didn’t tell you this to hurt you. If you like, I know a spell… I can remove the vallaslin.

Dialogue options:

General: I’m not sure. [13]

General: I’d like that. [14]

General: No. They matter to me. [15]

General: No. Forget the past. [16]

13 - General: I’m not sure. PC: These marks have been part of me for so long. I don’t know if… [17]

14 - General: I’d like that. PC: If what you’re saying is true… Solas: It is. PC: Then… my people vowed never to submit to slavery. [17]

15 - General: No. They matter to me. PC: Even if what you’re saying is true, I don’t think I can just let you erase them. [17]

16 - General: No. Forget the past. PC: I don’t wear the vallaslin for the ancient elves. I wear it for me. Solas: I know. [17]

17 - Scene continues.

Solas: I’m so sorry for causing you pain. It was selfish of me. I look at you, and I see what you truly are… And you deserve better than what those cruel marks represent.

Dialogue options:

Remove the vallaslin. [18]

I want to keep the vallaslin. [19]

18 - Remove the vallaslin. PC: Then cast your spell. Take the vallaslin away. Solas: Sit. Solas leads the PC to the waterside, and they kneel. He passed his hands over the PC’s face, and the vallaslin are gone. Solas: Ar lasa mala revas. You are free. They stand. Solas: You are so beautiful. They kiss.

19 - I want to keep the vallaslin. PC: I know you told me because you wanted to help, but the vallaslin is part of who I am. I hope you can see past— Solas: Stop. You are perfect exactly as you are. They kiss.

20 - Scene continues.

Solas: And I am sorry. I distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again.

Dialogue options:

General: I don’t want to lose you. [21]

General: Are you kidding me? [22]

General: If you must. [23]

21 - General: I don’t want to lose you. PC: Solas… Solas steps back. Solas: Please, vhenan.

Dialogue options:

Sad: I love you. [24]

Angry: Don’t do this to me! [25]

Stoic: I believe in us. [26]

24 - Sad: I love you. PC: Solas… don’t leave me. Not now. I love you. He shakes his head, and continues to back away. Solas: You have a rare and marvelous spirit. In another world— PC: Why not this one? He raises his hands between them. Solas: I can’t. I’m sorry. Solas leaves. Scene ends.

25 - Angry: Don’t do this to me! PC: Tell me you don’t care. Solas: I can’t do that. The PC shoves him. PC: Tell me I was some casual dalliance so I can call you a coldhearted son of a bitch and move on! They leave Solas standing there. Solas: I’m sorry. Scene ends.

26 - Stoic: I believe in us. PC: I’m not giving up on you, Solas. Solas: You truly should. PC: Whatever you need, we can find together. Solas: No, we can’t. You’ll see. Solas turns. Solas: I’m sorry. He walks away. Scene ends.

22 - General: Are you kidding me? PC: Wait. What?

kept vallaslin PC: I say no to you altering my face, and just like that we’re done? Solas: It’s not that. I’m sorry. I should have ended this long before. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

let Solas remove the vallaslin PC: You bring me here, take the vallaslin from my face, and now you just end it? Solas: I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

23 - General: If you must. PC: All right. If that’s your decision, so be it. Solas: I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. [27]

27 - Dialogue options:

Stoic: You did. [28]

Sad: Great job. [29]

Angry: Your loss, asshole! [30]

28 - Stoic: You did. PC: Everyone makes mistakes. Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

29 - Sad: Great job. PC: Well, we don’t always get what we want, do we? Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

30 - Angry: Your loss, asshole! PC: Banal’abelas, banal’vhenan! Solas turns and leaves. Solas: I will see you back at Skyhold. Scene ends.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much. 

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great. 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared.  And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment: 

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason. 

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.  

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho. 

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

[amalythea]

moonstruck ; birthday event !

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

As a way to celebrate me being old and a way for me to get back into writing I decided to host an event! I wrote these prompts like a year ago back on @soleillunne with the help of @starrveill (i love you)

This is a request based event, if you have an idea in mind send me an ask with a prompt, a genre (optional) and a character of your choice.

You can send in as many asks as you want, but only one prompt and character per ask is allowed. So you can ask the same prompt for different characters with multiple asks.

I will delete any request that's against my rules and just make me uncomfortable in general. If you have any questions about the characters I write for please don't hesitate to ask.

I will tag this post and each post related to this one with "moonstruck!", and the event will get its own masterlist. I don't know when I will close the event, but I will announce when I do.

Below are the prompts, go crazy (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

1. “don't smile at me like that!”

2. “may i have this dance?” “well, if you insist.”

3. “stop moving, i'm almost done!”

4. “well, if i tell you it wouldn't be a secret.”

5. “the moon is beautiful, isn't it?”

6. “i wouldn't wanna fight you. you're pretty feisty.”

7. “your eyes are always on them.” “…are they? I haven’t noticed.”

8. “do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

9. “are you sure you're okay? your face seems a little red.”

10. “...on the bright side, we'll know how not to cook next time.”

11. “you're my favorite person.”

12. “close the curtains! my eyes are burning!” “don’t you think you’ve slept in long enough, you little vampire?”

13. “here.” ”what are you doing?” “giving you my jacket. cover yourself up, people are staring.” (bonus: “…are you sure you’re not the one staring?”)

14. “how… do you understand my feelings so well?” “…because i’d been in your place once”

15. “i love you. now say it back.” “please— stop talking, save it till we get you help—” “say it back—” “i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you so fucking much, please don’t leave me—”

16. “dont miss me too much, okay?”

17. “tell me what i can do for you.” “stay.”

18. “wait! don't go... not yet.”

19. “i swear to you, that as long as I’m alive I won’t let a single soul ever harm you.”

20. “how do you make the pain go away?”

21. “you feel like home to me.”

22. “it's okay to cry, you know.”

23. “you're acting like my mom.” “shut up and let me take care of you.”

24. “i'm never leaving you. you're stuck with me.”

25. “in your darkest moments, I'll be your guiding light.”

30. “you're exhausted, honey.”

31. “can i have another blanket?” “do you really think that’s a good idea, love?”

32. “come over here; let me patch you up.”

33. “how do you do it?” “do what?” “make me feel alive.”

34. “i have no idea how i got through my days before i met you.”

35. “what do you feel when you're with me?” “when i'm with you... i feel at peace.”

36. “you lied to me. was i just a pawn in your game? the easiest one you can discard?”

37. “you make me feel so alone.”

38. “i don't know what to do without you.”

39. “make sure it kills me.”

40. “i love you, until the end of the world.”

41. “you had your chance.”

42. “wait for me, will you?”

43. “i don't want to go.”

44. “i'm sorry, have we met before?”

45. “it's okay, you can let go.”

46. “i can't help but wonder if you ever truly loved me.”

47. “given your history, i should have known better.”

48. “you made a promise.”

49. “in the end, I was just a stepping stone in your path to success, wasn't I?”

50. “i can't trust you anymore, not after what you did.”

51. “…please don’t come any closer.” “why not?” “i don’t want to hurt you.” “who said you would?”

52. “people always leave, so why should it be any different now?” “what if i told you that i never planned on leaving? not now, not ever?”

53. “the only thing that makes every ounce of pain worth enduring is you.”

54. “i love you too much to stay away, and I wouldn't wish for anything less than to spend an eternity by your side.”

55. “the day i lose you is the day that i lose everything.”

56. “please don't go... i love you.” “...i wish i could believe that.”

57. “i'm sorry. you deserve so much more than this, and i can't even give you that, no matter how much i want to.”

58. “do you know the difference between history and you?” “what?” “history is the past, but you’re my future.” “…oh my god.”

59. “now remember, you don’t need to apologize for things you aren’t responsible for, okay?” “okay! i’m sorry!” “…i literally just said not to apologize.” “sorry..” “damn it. we’re gonna have to work on that a bit more.”

60. “i’m sure the feeling won’t last, but let me hold onto you a little bit longer before i go.”

Bonus: send me a prompt/lyrics of your choice!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

moonstruck — unable to think or act normally, especially as a result of being in love.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

@amalythea 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.

[zahri-melitor]

While I’m advancing the post Red Robin #12 Dick & Tim agenda I also want to pair up these two pages - Red Robin #14 and #26 - in regards to the way support runs between them and the way they function as teammates.

“Just realise that not everyone can detach themselves emotionally as easily as you can…Though I did notice I’m not up there.”

“You never could be.”

“That took a lot of courage Red Robin. The temptation…you could’ve taken the easy way out.”

I think the Red Robin #26 panel especially gets overlooked, as it’s immediately followed by Bruce Brucing about how Tim took unnecessary risks and should never have set up the situation in the first place.

But not right now! We are going to indulge in some brain rot about these panels! Because that’s what Dick and Tim deserve!

Because look, this is ANOTHER rerun of the most Dick & Tim motivation comic of all time, Gotham Knights #26. Let’s play the fight panels!

Tim can never put Dick on his contingency plan list because he believes in Dick on a deep level beyond anyone else. “He taught me never to back away from any possibility that might lead to the truth.”

And Dick admires Tim’s ability to compartmentalise and “continue serving a system in which you have so little faith.”

And here we have two situations where Tim’s gone a little out of his traditional comfort zone and Dick’s there to say “I know you, I see you, I believe in you, and I get why you made that call (and I realise why it’s hard for you)”.

Dick out there catching Tim again and giving him support in tough situations, because while Bruce understands (and demands perfection), Dick understands exactly how hard that expectation of perfection is, and why pulling yourself back and making the right decision anyway is such a difficult trait.

Because they ARE peers and siblings and understand the constraints the other operates under better than almost anyone else.

Dick acknowledges the temptation in BOTH the situations (with the implication that he could also find himself similarly tempted) because yeah they both WERE there for Tower of Babel and coped with the aftermath and the team disapproval and if Tim’s reaching into that behaviour something is UP. And Tim’s been there to pull Dick back before when Dick’s been incandescently angry at a villain killing a member of his family.

They get it. They get each other. And Tim needed that reassurance and Dick knew he did and knew just what to say.

Brothers. BROTHERS.

[ultram0th]

31 Days of Derek Hale

Day 16: Himbo

Info │ 01 │ 02 │ 03 │ 04 │ 05 │ 06 │ 07 │ 08 │ 09 │ 10 │ 11 │ 12 │ 13 │ 14 │ 15 │ 16

Derek Hale sat in the corner of the bar, brooding over life in general. The sourwolf had a deep frown set onto his face, scowling at nothing specifically— his foul mood creating a dark aura about him.

He finished his whiskey on the rocks and was about to ask for another one, when the bartender (some peppy guy with dyed blue hair) set down a large glass of beer in front of him. The golden drink must’ve been extra-carbonated because tons of tiny bubbles floated around like crazy in it.

Derek cocked his eyebrow up at the bartender. “I didn’t—”

“It’s on the house,” the bartender interrupted him. “It’s a new brand called ‘Bubbly Beer’.”

“‘Bubbly Beer’?” Derek repeated incredulously, almost scoffing at the stupid sounding name. The tough alpha wouldn’t be caught dead drinking such a ridiculous drink. 

Still, free was free.

Shrugging his shoulders, Derek brought the glass to his lips and took a tentative sip of the bubble-filled beer. It was sickeningly sweet and the carbonation made the drink more akin to soda than actual beer.

Derek grimaced at the drink, nearly gagging. He hated sweets.

However, the alcohol content must’ve been high, because after that singular sip of beer, Derek could already feel a slight buzz. His brain felt a little foggy and it actually seemed to dull his angst.

“Meh,” he hummed. “Does the trick, I guess.”

Derek took another sip.

The fog settled in deeper, and a dazed grin formed on Derek’s face. He leaned back further into his chair, unaware of the knowing smirk from the bartender. He struggled to think back to what was bothering him in the first place.

He happily brought the glass back up to his lips, but this time he took a couple gulps of the beer.

Derek’s smile grew a little larger, but it almost subsided when he started to feel a little warm. Like a sudden total wave of heat crashing upon him, Derek suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. His white button down shirt was suddenly a bit too thick for his liking, and having it buttoned up all the way made him feel awkward, almost like he was wearing a large tent. 

In an attempt to gain some sort of ease, Derek reached up and undid the top four buttons of his shirt.

“That’s soooooo much better,” he sighed, his goofy grin coming back full force once he wasn’t completely covered. His toned pecs were slightly exposed to the cool air of the bar.

Derek took a few more gulps of the beer.

The legs of the chair groaned loudly as Derek squirmed around. His chest felt heavier and his arms kept colliding with his sides in a way that they hadn’t before… right?

Derek’s heart raced in his beefy chest for a moment, but he quickly shrugged his anxiety away as he glanced down at his meaty muscletits. His massive pecs were barely covered by the button down shirt that they strained against, his nubby nipples poking teasingly against the fabric. His large biceps bulged out of his straining sleeves, constantly bumping against pecs and lats, hindering each one of Derek’s movements. And lastly, the werewolf rocked back and forth on his humongous bubblebutt that strained his jeans to bursting, the big ass making it look like Derek was sitting on a bunch of cushions.

Derek caught a nerdy guy sneak a peek at him from across the bar, and he couldn’t resist lifting one of his big arms to flex a powerful bicep.

The nerd’s jaw dropped, yet he quickly recomposed himself and stood up, slowly heading over towards Derek.

Derek finished off the last of the bubbly beer, setting the empty glass onto the bar.

“Um, h-hey,” the small nerdy guy smiled at Derek. “What brings you here all alone?”

Derek smiled back full force at the other guy, his cock rocketing to life. The ten inch monster snaked down his pant leg noticeably, looking like he was stuffing a summer sausage down his pants.

“Oh y’know,” Derek chirped back, “I’m just, like, totally out here looking for cute guys!” He giggled at the end of his statement, biting down on his lower lip as he ran his eyes up and down hungrily over the nerd’s body.

The nerd smiled back nervously, nearly drooling over Derek’s bulbous muscletits. “Well,” he said, “I’m about to ditch this place, if you wanna come with?”

“Sure!” Derek quickly said, practically hopping out of his chair. He snatched a tight hold of the smaller guy’s hand and began to walk towards the exit.

Derek paused for a brief second, feeling as if something was wrong. His gait was thrown off by the constant jiggling of his bubblebutt behind him, and he had to arch his back slightly to account for his huge pecs. Plus, his head felt so slow.

And he was so painfully horny! 

Despite himself, all he seemed to be able to focus on was cock and getting his big butt stuffed full with the nerd’s. His lust took over and that foggy sensation clouded over his brain again, effectively silencing that alarm bell. 

“Like, this is totally gonna be the best night ever!” Derek cheered as he wiggled his hips, causing his big butt to bounce wildly, loving the lustful look in the nerd’s eyes.

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Always By Your Side

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: you were friends with Jenna, but ever since she got famous she started ignoring you, even if you kept being her number one fan.

Warnings: angst

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Posting this to check if I’m actually not shadow banned anymore😂 but Don’t get me started on this Idea. It has been stuck in my mind forever. I hope you like this

———

Growing up in California has always had its perks. Wherever you went, there were famous people, whether it was adults, teenagers, even kids and older people. It didn’t matter where you went, there was always a crowd around someone famous. Useless to say that this had its toll on your life, because eventually you wanted to be an actress, and ever since you were a kid you would find scripts online and practice them on your own or with your best friend, Jenna. She lived down the street and you were always at her place playing with her and with her siblings, you would sleep at their house, have dinners there and whenever they did something, you were always invited, you even went on family trips with them! It was safe to say that they considered you part of their family.

With time passing, you and Jenna grew even closer. Both of your dreams was still to be actresses as you kept on practicing scripts and monologues, but she’s always been better than you, and there was no one denying that. At some point Jenna’s mom’s friend was friends with a casting director and they tried giving both of you chances to eventually start on acting in shows or movies. Only… she got the roles, and you didn’t. You never did. Were you jealous? No you weren’t, because your best friend had achieved her dreams and she was living it for you too. She was away from home a lot, but she always found a way to keep in contact with you, at first at least. You were both still 14 after all, and her schedule wasn’t so busy so she was home a lot, and you went to visit her whenever you could.

Though things started changing when you both turned 16. She was never home anymore as her schedule was so busy.

You: hey Jen. I know you’re busy, buy can you call me when you have some free time? I really miss my best friend🥺

Jen: Hey! Yes of course! I’ll call you at 7.30 tonight okay? Miss you too <3

Those little things always made you smile, even if she was so busy and never home, she always cut some time from her breaks to call you and just talk about anything. She didn’t care if she didn’t have lunch, she WANTED to talk to you and this alone always made you miss her less. At age 17 though, having grown up and was now fit for harder roles, early morning alarms and what not, the time she cut for you ceased existing.

You: Heyyyy! Video call tonight at 7.30 pm like always?

Jen: I’m sorry I’m really busy. Promise we’ll catch up eventually. TTYL.

Only the two of you never caught up. She never found time for you anymore and it was starting to hurt. You knew that at some point actors leave their past life behind, but you never expected Jenna to do so to you. You never expected her to forget about you when you grew up together ever since day one, when you were in cribs. But even though she barely even thought of you, it was safe to say that you were her number one fan. You watched her movies, had bought the merch that came along with them, watching her interviews, Hell you even texted her supporting her of everything.

September 10, 2020

You: dude, that “babysitter killer queen” movie is just something else, I was so entertained watching it! You did a great job💕

March 12, 2021

You: your role in “yes day” was amazing. Katie Torres is so cute! Loved it✨

January 14, 2022

You: uhm HELLO? The new scream movie is fire! Hope to see you in the next one☺️

January 27, 2022

You: GURL! ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT VADA CAVELL? Please, she’s SO FINE

March 18, 2022

You: okay, that X movie was different. Not of my likings, buy you did a great job as always. Miss you.

Not once did she ever reply to your texts. Sure, she read them but you never got any kind of feedback from her. It’s like she was always too busy even for a text, or she just simply didn’t care anymore. It was hard, going on with your life knowing that she never had time for you anymore. You used to be her best friend but now, seeing from her posts she had new best friends and it was hurting a lot, knowing that she just forgot about you, and your head started going a thousand places, was she ashamed because her best friend wasn’t famous? And what if she simply didn’t want to be seen around with you? You were a no one, after all. Would famous people want to be seen around with a no one?

You had to get back to her, show her that there was no shame in being seen around with someone who isn’t famous. It should make you even more “honest” to show that you’re not only friends with famous people, but you’ve kept your friends of a lifetime, but you thought that this wasn’t something she’d ever consider. You posted a photo of the two of you hugging and a few videos, tagging her and writing under it “miss my best friend so much.” Jenna’s fans freaked out at that and reposted the photos, the cute videos all over the internet. Jenna wasn’t the type of girl to be on social medias but you were sure she saw your post when she liked it. It was just a like though, there was no “miss you too” comment or even a text, nothing at all. You had to find a way to see her, talk to her face to face.

You got the chance to do so when after her new series “Wednesday” came out, the premiere was in your city. You HAD to go. You even found the ticket to get backstage and talk with the actors, you had to talk to her. You dressed up elegantly just for the night and you made sure to go there REALLY early to be in front of the barricades, you had to see her and she had to see you. When actors started arriving, of course no one recognized you. Except for obviously Jenna. She looked at you as she walked by, and you gave her a small smile as you waved at her, she did the same but then walked away, to other fans and to the photo booth. She looked gorgeous to say the least. You had seen her on tv, but she hasn’t seen you in years and suddenly reality hit her.

You had been supporting her ever since and she has done nothing but ignore you these past 5 years, and she started thinking of how much it could have hurt you, seeing her realize her dreams while you couldn’t. She was scared shitless to talk to you, she was afraid that you’d yell at her, get mad at her or something like that. When the premiere was finished it was now time for the people who had the backstage ticket to actually go backstage. You were one of the lasts in line and you weren’t in a rush, you needed to talk to her not just for two minutes, and you knew that fans would absolutely want to talk to her, so you stood back and patiently waited for your turn. You didn’t wait really long because everyone only had a limited time with each actor, but you didn’t care because you knew that if you needed It, Jenna would tell the crew that you were allowed to stay.

As soon as it was your turn you walked up to her and she gave you a small sad smile. She didn’t know how to act, what to do. She was scared of what you’d say or do. “Hey Jen” you said as you walked over, you weren’t sure of what you could or could not do, but you were surprised when she hugged you tightly, hiding her face in your shoulder. You let her do, hugging her back and letting her stay in the embrace for as long as she wanted. When she pulled back, her eyes were slightly teary. “(Y/N) I-I’m so sorry” she started, you knew exactly what she was talking about. “I’m sorry too. But it’s okay, you have a busy schedule and it’s okay to not have time” you said reassuring her. “I was just scared you’d forgotten about me or that you didn’t care anymore. And it hurts because I haven’t been hearing back from you for 5 years Jen. You do understand that right? I was scared that I was bothering you and that you didn’t want me to text you.” You said looking down, and she looked down of shame as well.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re my best friend, (Y/N). I just… got scared.” She said and you looked at her with confusion sprawled out all over your face. “Scared of what?” You asked, she took a hold of your hand and looked up at you. “When we started with the videocalls.. they made me really happy, and I knew you were happy too. But growing up my feelings towards you only grew, and not just in a “friends” way if you know what I mean. I was- and maybe I still am in in love with you. But I was scared, I was never home and I didn’t want to say that over a phone, figuring out that it would have been better if I told you face to face. But I always chickened out and I figured out that if I ever told you, the constant distance would have ended up hurting you. But I hurt you anyways, so…”

You looked at her as a smile slowly made its way to your face. “Jesus Jen I thought you hated me or something..” you said, giggling of relief, as she looked up at you “does that mean you forgive me?” She said hopeful, this even showing on her face. How could you reply to this? Deep down, you also had feelings for her, and they only grew. So you pulled her in from her waist, a hand removing the black veil of her dress from her face as you leaned in for a kiss, your first. She was shocked at first, not believing what was happening as she eventually kissed you back, closing her eyes and arms around your neck as she smiled and hummed happily on your lips, moving closer to you, if that was even possible. Managers had tried to get closer to you two and move you two away, but Jenna shushed them away and kept on kissing you, all while you just smiled.

Eventually she pulled back to look at you. “I love you so much (Y/N).. I swear to you that from now on I’ll take you with me wherever I go and you’ll never leave my side.”

[lookatmysillies]

Character Intimacy Levels: S39 Pt. 1

Based on the character intimacy percentages from the art book. Covering my characters’ intimacy levels with characters they have notable relationships with within and outside of their classes. This is part 1 for my S39 kids, then there’ll be Non-Competitors (Eddy and Itsaso), S40 (Naz and Yael), and S41 (Light and Halo).

Send me an ask if I miss your character and you want to know the intimacy level between one of my ocs and yours!

Tallis

Himei: 100% You picked me, of all people. I don’t know why you picked me. Sometimes I worry you just took pity on me.

Tov: 100% Is this what it’s like to be truly understood? I never knew it could be like this. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt.

Eddy: 85% We met under the worst circumstances. Maybe that’s why I’ve grown to love you so fast.

Lang: 80% I just like to… sit with you. And watch you make things from nothing. You calm me.

Khoi: 78% We used to be closer, but after Sai and Vera… well, we’re just not as close anymore. Still, I think I love you very much. You taught me more than anyone ever has.

Nyx: 76% You can be cold and sharp, but I know you’re full of good. You’re my friend. I feel safe with you.

Stasya: 65% My roommate. You keep your things tidy like me. I like you a lot.

Sai: 64% After everything, I still wish the best for you.

Castor: 60% Your inability to take things seriously gets on my nerves. But you look out for me.

Noora: 45% What a sweet girl. You’re the first human I ever saw.

Flor: 25% I don’t get you…

Daiki: 25% Maybe we could be friends in another life.

Cirrus: 12% If only I knew you better. I feel like I can see the answer to life itself on your face, and then a million new questions.

Azure: 5% I think Tov likes you? You make me nervous.

Castor

Kyo: 100% Kyo, lovely soul, I’ve never deserved you, your gentleness, or your grace for someone who only hurts the people he loves.

Nyx: 96% Baby brother, I’d like to think I’d do anything for you. I hope I’m right.

Haneul: 88% You make me feel safer than I’ve ever felt. I used to find you difficult to understand. I understand you now.

Aurien: 75% You make me feel such love and protectiveness. And yet your trust in me scares me.

Faolan: 73% Hehe, you remind me of my Kyo!

Jae: 66% You make me laugh every day.

Flor: 50% You remind me a bit of—well, me.

Evon: 45% I hated when Kyo had a crush on you, but I could never hate you. You’re beautiful. You gave him solace in ways I couldn’t.

Dian: 31% My little redheaded buddy! You’re good for Nyxie, following him around all the time. He needs to not be in his thoughts so much.

Moran: 12% Therapy party pooper.

Tov: 10% Uptight and unnerving. You have qualities I respect, though.

Azure: 1% Ugh.

Solei: 1% Sometimes I can’t help but loathe you for flying. For saving Aurien. Because I couldn’t.

Cinna, Leto, & Light: 1% I’m sorry.

Ok boy oh boy let’s see who to tag

@ivanttakethis for Tov. @pwippy for Lang. @bittersweet-adagio for Sai and Khoi. @imperfectnothing for Nyx, Dian, Han, and Fao. @billwasnot for Stasya. @kamersona for Noora. @sotogalmo for Flor. @daiki1k for Daiki. @cirrusoftheclouds for Cirrus. @azureitri for Azure. @aurienneirua for Aurien and Cinnabar. @kofeedoggo for Jae and Evon. @geospiral for Moran. @solei-eclipse for Solei. Aaaand @14-alc for Leto. Jfc okay time to retag like 80% of these in comments now that I have all the users in one place

[katyawriteswhump]

the freak in the penthouse: the end!

E-rated (for sexual content), accidental millionaire eddie/sex-worker steve. On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :) On AO3

Chapter 18: Epilogue (2/2) and Happily Ever After

They passed through the hotel lobby, grinning like lovestruck morons, lost in each other’s eyes.

Odd couple didn’t even faintly capture it. Eddie was, of course, wearing a thrash metal t-shirt and a bellhop hat, while Steve sported a thousand-dollar designer suit. If they got any judgmental looks, Eddie didn’t notice any more than he cared. To these high society jerks, he might look like a flat-broke stoner. Joke on them was that the credit card Eddie had slammed on the counter was well in the black.

Vecna’s Doom Quest II had been a blockbuster hit. While he’d paid all his early royalties back to Dustin, Suzie and their charitable trusts, he and Steve had plenty of cash left over for them to live a lifestyle that… wasn’t beyond their wildest dreams, actually. So far, and with the exception of the harrowing court cases, it’d been quiet and domestic and just kinda nice.

When they approached the revolving door, Steve reached out and squeezed Eddie’s hand. Steve was always super-vigilant, looking out for him, when they were out and about in crowded places. Occasionally, Eddie also worried they were getting too responsible and middle-aged before their time.

Or maybe not.  

When they finally got back to their rented apartment, there were six messages on the answerphone:

“Dude, pick up!” Gareth whined, on the full-to-bursting tape. “Jeff’s van’s totally busted, so we’re gonna fly down and practice on your gear at the apartment. You better be ready, man.”

Ooookay. Quiet domesticity was about to be shattered.

Eddie had finally persuaded Corroded Coffin to get back together. While he army-crawled his way toward the challenge of performing live again, they’d recorded a demo and scattered-gunned it all over LA. Next week they’d gotten their first actual audition, with a lowkey Indie label.

Now, Eddie grimaced, while Steve made a beeline for the galley kitchen. While Eddie was pumped for the audition, he’d hoped they’d have a day or so more to themselves.

“Better order several crates of beer in,” muttered Steve, pausing to kick a stray drumstick out of his path. He dumped a paper bag of snaffled pastries from the hotel kitchen. “I got first dibs on the leftover cinnamon buns, before your crew eat us out of house and fucking home.”

“Look, I know you said you were fine with the band crashing here,” said Eddie, pursuing Steve across the barely visible linoleum, “you sure about that?”

“I do technically own a hotel for a few more hours.” Steve chugged back some Diet Coke then shrugged. “This place is already cluttered with your shit. I can rarely find middle C on my keyboard, so I don’t see what difference a few more sweaty bodies is gonna make, and… I get it, Eddie. If you guys wanna be real again, or whatever, capture the right vibes, you need to get back to those grass roots.”

As long as nobody smokes grass in my Babe’s apartment. Eddie wasn’t going to say that out loud, because Steve would bristle. Eddie would quietly enforce it anyway.

“Okay, feel free to change your mind,” he said. “They piss us off, I’m sure Robin can store them in your old linen closet, or something.”

Steve snickered, but genuinely seemed chill about it. In fact, his smirk segued into a grin, one hand snaking around to find that strategically placed rip in Eddie’s jeans—so yeah, basically groping Eddie’s butt-cheek. “We better make the most of our privacy, right?” he purred.

Eddie stalled only to plop back on the bellhop hat, which he’d still gotten clutched in one sweaty paw: “Your wish is my command.”

“Jesus, will you drop that shit?” Steve’s grip on Eddie’s ass tightened, and he smacked his lips to Eddie’s in an inarguably hungry kiss.

…

Steve couldn’t ever get enough of kissing Eddie. He couldn’t ever get enough of their life together.

Today, Eddie tasted of coffee and almond pastries and of… yeah, that uniquely awesome taste of Eddie. Kissing him set off the sappiest lyrics wailing in Steve’s ears. He was only sorry, as he backed Eddie out of the kitchen and toward the bedroom, that they’d not gotten Corroded Coffin’s ‘Fire Shroud’ demo blasting from the beatbox. Steve, basically, had Bryan Adams on a hell-loop: ‘You know it's truuuue, Everything I dooooo, I do it for yooooou!’

On the other hand, it was so good to have music as his happy place again.

Before, he’d hardly been able to endure songs he once loved. The feelings that they’d triggered, and the avalanche of memories, had been too overwhelming. Once he’d learned the truth about his parents, he’d been able to grieve at last. To finally move on, knowing they’d done their best to look out for him after all. It wasn’t their fault—nor his, really—that he’d been conned.

He even conceded that Extreme cover of ‘Love of my Life’ was passable. But only after he made Eddie sing the original Queen harmonies—as many as one guy could—while he was belting it out on his other new beloved, his Yamaha keyboard.

One matter between them remained slightly off-key, though.

Eddie was still hyper-conscious about how things had started out, how he’d hired Steve as a hooker. Steve was eternally telling him that he didn’t need to ‘make amends,’ that they’d rarely been out-of-kilter in the bedroom. Eddie still needed reassurance sometimes.

Which Steve was more than willing to give.

Now, when they broke for air, Steve wedged his fingers under the chin strap of the bellhop cap. He swung Eddie around with it before shoving him down flat on their entirely normal-sized double bed. Who needed Emperor-size when you sleep best entangled in each other? Eddie didn’t snore so bad since he quit, while Steve’s asthma was pretty much under control.

Though not as much as he had a demonically grinning Eddie completely under his control. He straddled Eddie’s torso, playfully pinning Eddie’s arms either side of his head.

“I can ask for anything, right?” Steve arched over Eddie, nibbling his lips down the curve of Eddie’s throat.

“Hell, yeeeeeah,” Eddie was saying, his voice pitching toward a squeak. Steve nuzzled his thrumming voice-box and undulated on top of him, bumping and grinding against his groin.

“Let’s start with getting rid of that dumb hat.”  It was flung across the room in an instant. “Seeing as I’m gonna spend the next week being your groupie”—Steve paused to scrub his tongue up the shallow stubble on Eddie’s throat— “I want you to get totally metal on my ass. I mean, Jesus, Munson! It’s been a traumatic day. I’m not in the mood for heavy lifting.”

Then he slammed back down for another kiss, rolling and grappling and hugging and laughing, till Eddie rolled on top, pinning him instead.

“Fuuuuuck, Stevie!” Eddie now sucked Steve’s earlobe, nibbling the line of his jaw. Eddie’s hands slid down his arms, thumbing the super-sensitive arc of Steve’s elbow—Christ, when he was with Eddie, every part of his skin turned into an erogenous zone. They helped each other out of their shirts—not quite sending buttons flying nor seams ripping. Eddie really loved that Exodus t-shirt, which was limited edition and pretty much irreplaceable, while Steve had only sunk money into one premium-brand court day outfit.

“God, I love you so much,” whispered Eddie. “Have I ever told you how beautiful your body is?”

“Yeah. Every day. Never gets old… Shit, yeah… Lower… Gnng!” Eddie’s breaths blazed over Steve’s tightly sucked-in belly, while Steve gyrated up against him. Then Eddie hooked his fingers in Steve’s tailored waistband and peeled Steve’s pants down—a relief, because Steve’s erection was definitely straining plenty of stitches around there. He forgot that the instant he was freed, the pants tossed aside. Eddie took Steve’s dick in his mouth and pure liquid ecstasy overtook him.

Steve rested his head back on the feather-soft pillow, otherwise floating on thin air, all his awareness confined to the blowjob. Eddie suckled briefly, then licked his length, before seeking out that tender patch round the back of Steve’s dick that Eddie knew he loved. Like he loved when Eddie’s rough knuckles kneaded and toyed at the base of his balls. He loved how they knew each other’s desires so damn well.

“Yes, there… Christ!” Steve literally went cross-eyed with need. Nevertheless, while he knew Eddie would happily blow him and swallow every last drop of jizz, that wasn’t what Steve wanted right now:

“Hey, groupie wants his ass played with.”

“Demanding brat, aren’t you, groupie?”

Steve grinned, tightened his fist in Eddie’s hair. “Always.”

Steve rolled onto his belly, and luxuriated in Eddie’s skilled hands, playing him like a goddamn musical instrument. Okay, cliché alert, but who fucking cared? Eddie worked Steve open, slicked fingers strumming inside him, and Steve leaked precum everywhere. They’d need to change the sheets before the band arrived, or there was gonna be some real grungy stains around.

Steve, still squirming and simmering, peeped back to watch Eddie lubing his so-fucking-ready dick.  Steve was in the mood for doggy, so he pushed himself up onto his forearms and knees, keening with relief when he felt Eddie’s cock nudge along his crack. His whole frame tautened to breaking point, tight springs coiling in the base of his dick and sacs. Then he unleashed a comfortable sigh and pressed backward, the same instant Eddie jerked his hips forward and breached him.

He kinda happy sobbed, eyes watering. Oh wow. That moment of total connection… that stretching, searing, almost-too-much yumminess.

“Yes… wow… so good,” he panted.

“Damn, you feel sweet, groupie,” cooed Eddie, an arm bracing Steve’s middle, kissing Steve’s nape. Steve’s shoulders loosened a little and he adjusted to the penetration.

“Not so bad yourself, rockstar.”

Steve snatched a tight breath then exhaled again, long and hard, his body softening toward a puddle of pleasure. Apart from his dick, which was obviously screamingly hard. Screw houses with swimming pools—as far as Steve was concerned, this was Eddie’s forever home. He twisted his head to nip Eddie’s ludicrously soft, lush lips with a wet kiss.

“Metal on my ass, right?”

“Whatever you desire, my Liege.”

Eddie began to move, and so did Steve. Despite what he’d said earlier, Steve found himself totally pepped for a workout. He thrust back against Eddie, setting the rhythm at that perfect pace—fast enough to set his teeth lightly rattling, but slow enough for the drag against his prostate to absolutely set him on fire. He was just reaching for his needy dick, when Eddie beat him to it, chivalrously pumping Steve to the rhythm of their lovemaking.

Steve grinned into the pillow and let the pleasure build and crash through him. They’d melded as one, like waves on the fucking sun-kissed seashore. As Eddie surged into him, Steve crashed back.

“Stevie,” sighed Eddie, voice wavering on pained. “Dammit… Fuck, fuck… how does this just keep getting better?”

“Fuuuuck!” wailed Steve, so not in the headspace for existential discussions. He was caught between wanting this to continue forever, and the sensations getting a touch too much. His climax built in those mad waves, then rushed upon him. As he started to come, Eddie did too, deep inside him, in a series of joyful, juddering thrusts.

…

They floated happily, tangled together, through their shared post-coital high.

Steve wound up dozing with his nose buried courageously close to Eddie’s sweaty armpit. Eddie, on the other hand, wasn’t quite in the mood for a nap. He stretched out and grabbed a music mag from a pile on the bedside cabinet, causing a minor avalanche.

He leafed through, until his attention zoned in on an advertisement that made his blood jump: “Yikes.”

“What?” Steve’s muffled voice resonated through Eddie’s chest.

“Check this out, Babe. The actual owners of Jimi Hendrix’s guitar are putting it up for auction.”

“Oh. Wow.” Steve’s chin dug into Eddie’s pec as he slid his face up to see what Eddie was on about, and Eddie helped by brushing his hair from his eyes. “Well, if you reckon it’s gonna help you in the audition, maybe you should—”

“Naaaah,” said Eddie, the word blending into an unbothered yawn. He chucked the magazine to the floor and curled both arms around Steve, cuddling him a little tighter. “It’s gonna be me and my two true sweethearts against the world from now on.”

“You can battle all you like with your beloved guitar, man. I’m looking forward to not having the world fight back for a change.” Steve sounded invigoratingly bitchy.

Eddie pressed a kiss to his hair. They curled up beneath the covers to enjoy being naked together… till the arrival of Corroded Coffin sent their lives spiralling off into a new kind of chaos, this time entirely of their own choosing.

The End

🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕 🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕 🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕

perma-tag for the best inspiration friend ever: @wheneverfeasible (who has kindly put together a playlist for this fic, which I will get up on my tumblr over the next few days hopefully, after a few final additions 😊)

Thank you for reading to the end and I really hope you enjoyed the fic. Likes, re-blogs, comments and follows are always very much appreciated and will help feed the bunnies for possible future fic, though I've a feeling this will be my last long fic, at least for now, though I do intend to finish all my WIPs, including 'power of love' over the next few weeks, if possible🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕🐰💕

On tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3.1 Part 3.2 Part 4.1 Part 4.2 Part 5.1 Part 5.2 Part 6.1 Part 6.2 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 or search #thefreakinthepenthouse :)

On AO3 All my ST stuff on AO3

[aerialworms]

+ bonus Midam :)

(Shoutout to @bloodydeanwinchester​ for inspiring this, although I’m 75% sure this has been done before 😅 ID under the readmore!)

[Image ID: A series of screenshots of the Supernatural characters paired with the answers from a Buzzfeed quiz. The first image is the title of the quiz: “...would you fuck a clone of yourself?”

2. Sam Winchester, looking weirded out at his alternate self in 15.13 Destiny’s Child, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.”

3. Eileen Leahy, smirking at Sam in 15.07 Last Call, answers “I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.”

4. Jack Kline, looking baffled in 13.01 Lost and Found, answers “I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.”

5. Castiel, looking scared as the Empty yells at him in 13.04 The Big Empty, answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”

6. Crowley, looking suggestively at Dean in a bar in 9.11 First Born, answers “I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?“

7. Dean, handcuffed on the floor in Endverse Dean’s cabin in 5.04 The End, tells his alternate self “I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

8. Arthur Ketch in 13.07 War of the Worlds, pretending to be his twin, Alexander, answers “It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.”

9. Mary Winchester yells at Ketch “It's not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!”

10. Good!Charlie Bradbury from 10.11 There’s No Place Like Home says “I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.” except the “what if” has been crossed out.

11. Mustachioed Gabriel from the Casa Erotica DVD in 5.19 Hammer of the Gods answers “Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.”

12. Chuck, in 11.20 Don’t Call Me Shurley, shrugs and tells Metatron “I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed.”

13. From the start of 9.18 Meta Fiction, Metatron tells the viewer “To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.“

14. Michael and Adam on their dinner date in 15.08 Our Father, Who Aren’t In Heaven. Their answer is simply “Yes.”

All the images are watermarked with the creator’s url, “@aerialworms”. /End ID]

[23fallencomets]

That's right, Daniel still has to prove himself because he doesn't have a suga daddy to buy him a seat. Hope this makes you happy and hope you enjoy watching checo wreck that car for the rest of the race.

okay so first, do not come into my blog and be rude. that’s not gonna fly here as I respect all the drivers regardless of their driving abilities.

The reason I said he has to improve is because in the last 14 races, his teammate Yuki has outperformed him in every race but 5 which were Bahrain, Canada, Spain, Austria and Spa. If we count in Daniel’s DNF in Japan, then will have to count in the double DNF in China.

Yuki is ahead of Daniel in the standings by 10 points! That means Yuki missed out of points in 6 races!! If anything, Yuki deserves that seat. We can blame it all we want on the car and team and strategy all we want —and i’m genuinely biting myself in the ass with this given the team i follow—but one made it work and the other is struggling.

Do I personally believe that Daniel is out of his prime? No! He clearly still has potential, it’s just that he’s currently being outshined by a teammate that is clearly doing better. Yuki himself thinks that he deserves a chance in the Redull seat.

Now, with Checo.

The first time he dropped out of the top five was in Emilia when he ended up in P8, in Monaco he was crashed out, in Canada he DNF’d, in Spain he placed P8, P7 in Austria, he got P17 in Silverstone and Daniel got P13, both of them out of the points. In Hungary he got P8 again and P7 again in Belgium. In 14 races, Checo missed out on points 3 times. The reason it looked bad was because he crashed out back to back.

Wanna know the difference? Checo was and is still scoring points. In the last 14 races, Daniel outperformed Checo once. Besides those three races, Checo has consistently stayed within the top ten.

Compare Checo’s 131 points and 4 podiums to Daniel’s 12 points and 0 podiums.

Another reason his performance looks “bad” is because of the Red Bull dominance. While it’s not completely wavering, Mclaren has shown how fast they are with how consistent they’ve been within the top 10 and top 5.

It puts the Red Bull Dominance in jeopardy if Checo continues to place lower than the Ferraris and Mclarens, who again, are their biggest competitors right now.

Had it been any other team, they would have been satisfied with Checo’s placement but because it’s not just any team, it puts an insane amount of pressure on Checo.

And the car is bad!! Checo has been saying that he’s been struggling with it and no one bats an eye, but the moment Max struggled to pull a miracle out of his ass at the Hungarian GP, everyone started pointing out how shitty the car is.

Now, did Checo’s financial backing save his seat? In a way yeah. That’s the power of having personal sponsors and the financial means to back him up.

If Red Bull starts listening to their drivers and figure out what’s wrongs with the car, then i wholeheartedly believe that the two can climb to the top again and stay there.

And since it seems that you didn’t read the second part of my original post, I said that if Checo doesn’t improve then they’ll have no choice but to drop him and promote a VCARB driver and in parentheses i put Daniel even though i personally believe that Yuki deserves that seat.

In the end, that post was just my opinion but you had to go and be rude on my blog and I had to pull all this information out. Remember that there was at least three drivers in consideration for Checo’s seat, it genuinely could’ve been anyone.

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 13

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Chapter 12 Chapter 14

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 13: This group’s broken

Summary: Randall is still a problem the group needs solve and come to an agreement about. The happenings of the barn is still something shaking some people. Feelings and traumas from the past comes to haunt Y/N making her anxiety boil and overthink a lot.

Warnings: swearing, angst, death, mentions of violence, gore, suicide attempt (not narrated, but mentioned), mentions of depression, mentions of torture, mentions of execution, traumas, anxiety, mentions of abusive relationships, fear of abandonment, brief discreet mentions of sex, loss, grief. Minors do not interact.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 5,834

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. Also, there’s a bunch of warnings in this one but there’s also fluff, comfort and a bit of fun.

Finally Randall’s leg was well enough so he could survive alone in the wild that was Earth now, so Rick and Shane would carry him miles away from the farm and release him. You weren’t very happy about Rick going alone with Shane.

“Let me go with you, please.” You pleaded Rick for the millionth time, Shane wasn’t someone reliable anymore, you couldn’t risk losing your brother again and have Shane coming back with some lame excuse how he made for Otis.

“Y/N, I’m the one here with self defense skills, not you. I can handle myself well without you. I need you here.” Rick said, and that would be the last time he would tell you, he was losing his temper already. “No discussion.”

“Be careful, please. He’s dangerous.” You hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’ll be, don’t worry. I need this time alone with him. I’m coming back.” He assured you and hoped it would really turn out like this, because you could see the madness in his eyes, and by how we was obsessed with Lori… you didn’t doubt he would be able to do atrocities even to his ‘brother’.

After they left, you couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling you had on the pitch of your stomach. You were going to help around in the farm and in the house, but your mind couldn’t stop the worry. You were giving the horses water when you heard a knock on the stables door, you look to your side and you saw Daryl. As much as the idea of scaring you was tempting enough, he chose not to do so.

“Just wanted to let ya know I’m gonna hunt, maybe bring somethin’ good.” He approached you.

“Ok, be careful, please and don’t come back late. I’m already worried enough by Rick.” You said, then looked both sides and didn’t see anyone around. You tiptoed and pecked his lips.

He blushed, he had been doing way more than this with you and he blushed because you gave him a small kiss inside a stable where the only witnesses were the horses. He knew you were worried about Rick being alone with Shane, things between you and Shane had gone bad since the day of the happenings of the barn and it was just going down. When Daryl told you one night that he thought Shane had killed Otis, things spiraled really quick and you started seeing Shane with different eyes, many attitudes from him made sense actually. He wasn’t the person that you used to know anymore.

“Dun worry. Rick’s tough, he basically came back from the dead, nothing bad is happening to him.” He said, he could practically read your mind and know everything you were thinking about it.

“And you?”

“Me too. I’m gonna be careful. I promise, I’ll be back in one piece.” He gave you a quick kiss, you said your goodbyes and you went back to your chores.

Lori was inside the house helping with the chores and also helping Maggie taking care of Beth. She was still not good, she was in a state of depression that got all of you worried. Lori was preparing a lunch for Beth, so you were around the kitchen with her and Maggie. Maggie was talking about Glenn with Lori, you decided to not participate of the conversation, but you were listening to everything. Lori was more experienced on the topic of relationships, you knew what was good or not, but just theoretically. Until now you had had just one boyfriend before Daryl and it was a shitty experience, so you didn’t know if you had something wise to say even though you were older than Maggie. You thought it was a bit too much when Lori said that Glenn should man up, imagine saying it to the young man, he would be sad or really offended, or both.

“Glenn is just scared, he’s a good guy. You’re probably his first love, I can’t say it for sure, but that’s what it seems. He’ll overcome this fear of him. Don’t worry.” You passed an arm on Maggie’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze on her arm to reassure her.

“And how about you and grumpy man? Have you already said the words?” She elbowed you playfully.

“Hmm… no. Not exactly. I don’t know if it’s like this.” You said, you were always reserved about your personal matters, always keeping everything to yourself, afraid to let people know your feelings or to be exposed and feel weak. But maybe, some girl talk wouldn’t be that bad. “He said the other day I was his and I also said it to him…” You paused thinking if you’d say the other thing that came to your mind to them.

“And…?” Lori asked. “We know there’s more. Spill it.”

“He… he said that his… you know… was mine.” You blushed instantly talking about it and thinking about it. Was it correct to tell such thing to others? You never knew what was ok, and what wasn’t, but it’s not like if you were telling all the sordid details of what you two did.

Lori made a face as if she was thinking ‘wow, the man really have some balls’ and Maggie just had a fit of giggles, giving you a side hug and squeezing you. “It’s almost the same thing as saying that 3 words.” Maggie observed.

“It isn’t, this is possessiveness which is normal in relationships even the healthy ones. But anybody can have this without love.” You told Maggie, she was young, probably didn’t have unhealthy relationships she wouldn’t know. You were maybe 8 or 9 years older than her, it was a different experience, especially with broken people.

“Well… everybody can see, but we can’t stop you from being stubborn. I need to go help Glenn, but if you need anything you can call me.” She said and then turned to Lori. “Thank you so much for helping with Beth.”

“It’s nothing really.” Lori said and got the tray to give lunch for Beth.

You stayed at the house and helped Lori at the kitchen, you washed some dishes and cleaned and organized the room. After one hour or so, Lori went to Beth’s room to get the tray back. She came back with untouched food, Beth couldn’t continue like that. When she was throwing away what Beth didn’t eat, she suddenly stopped and ran from the kitchen.

“What happened? Lori?” You asked her, but she was already gone. She came back a knife in hand and in a rush.

“Go and Keep an eye on Beth. I’m gonna bring Maggie or Hershel.” She said and left.

You left the kitchen and went to Beth’s room, on your way you put the pieces together and realized Beth had hidden the knife and was probably going to attempt something against herself. Soon Lori arrived with Maggie and Andrea, Maggie asked to be left alone with Beth and all of you went back to the kitchen.

You were trying to be in good terms with Andrea again, so you decided you’d try not to talk back at her when she said stupid things, even though they were talking about Beth. You just stayed there watching while they talked Andrea thought Beth should make her own choice, which is very different from what happened with her. Beth is just a kid and she’s not dying because she was bitten, so why let her commit suicide? She should be talked to and taken care of to help her get better. You bit your tongue trying to not express yourself, but you just couldn’t contain it when Andrea brought up the fact that Lori had her husband back, her child was saved, she had a baby on the way and had a ‘boyfriend’. And Andrea had to finish bringing you up in the middle of the thing, did you disagree with her? Yes. But did you say anything about it? No, just on your mind. So why bring you to the discussion?

“And you…” She pointed at you startling you at the suddenly call. “You have your brother, your nephew, a new nibling on the way and you’re fucking Dixon like rabbits, you would never understand.”

“Andrea, are you serious? I wasn’t even in the discussion. Why do you always involve me in your shit? You don’t get to speak like this to Lori, we had a lot of blessings, but we also suffered like everyone else. Do you think we were happy the whole time we thought Rick was dead? Or that it didn’t cross our minds that Carl was going to die? You think we didn’t suffer because of Amy, Jim, Jacqui, Sophia or all the others lost we had along the way?” She said everything she wanted to Lori and now she was going to listen to you. “And why do you mind who I fuck? You’re fucking Shane, and nobody told you a word. Mind your own business.”

You almost didn’t stop to breath while the words just came out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I wasn’t going to say anything regarding Beth, but she’s only sixteen. She’s a kid, we have to protect her and try to help her get better, and not encourage the way out. Andrea, I think we’re never going to be in good terms again, there’s no way. You’re not the same anymore.”

You left the house and went back to the camp, finding Carl and Luna playing with a stick. Carl had been acting colder and colder in the last days, it was good to see him being a kid, even if it was for a brief moment. You played a little with them, but to be honest you were still nervous about Andrea and worried about Beth.

After 30 minutes, maybe one hour, you didn’t know exactly, you heard a commotion in the house. You told Carl to stay there and ran to see what happened. When you arrived to the source Lori and Maggie had just opened the door to the bathroom and there was a crying Beth, hand on her bleeding pulse, asking for help and saying she was sorry. You learned Maggie had left Beth alone with Andrea and it was her biggest mistake, because she left the girl alone and God knows what she said to her. Maggie had a fight with Andrea and told her to never again step in the house. You were done, your stress level was up on the sky already.

When it was almost getting dark you saw Daryl coming back, you walked in his direction happy to see him and have an excuse to not be in the camp, hence near to Andrea. You met him halfway, he had some rabbits and squirrels, you knew it probably wasn’t what he really wanted but you were grateful for any meat that he brought back.

“I thought you’d never comeback.” You said walking by his side.

“I said I’d comeback.” He answered and took a quick glance at you. “Jus’ didn’t wanna comeback without something.”

“We’re all grateful to you, bringing meat or not.” You said while you arrived the small camp of yours.

He took everything he needed to start to skin what he brought and clean so it would be ready for consumption. You sat near him observing his work, you never tried, but now you had observed him doing it so much that you’d probably be able to skin something if you needed or wanted to.

“Wha’s wrong?” He asked still concentrated on his job. Once again, you were surprised on how he could know something was not right. “I can see all over ya that somethin’ is bothering ya.”

“Today was a stressful day” You propped your elbows on your knees and rested your face between your hands. You recalled all the situation with Beth and Andrea, and you just wish this day didn’t happen, and it was far from being one of your worst days.

“Wha’ happened?” He lifted his head from his work and took a look at you. You looked tired, everyone was always tired nowadays, but it was not only physical it seemed that your mind was also tired.

“Andrea was a bitch. I swear I tried to be on good terms with her again. And Beth tried the way out, I believe encouraged by Andrea. Maggie left them alone and Andrea also left Beth alone.” You gave him the short story of all that happened. “I should have gone with you.”

“Yeah, ya should.” That was his way of saying ‘I missed you’.

Soon you saw the car in which Rick, Shane and Randall left arriving back in the property. When you saw Rick getting off the car you felt relieved to see him, but apparently they had comeback with Randall. Shit, it wasn’t over. As soon as Daryl finished skinning and cleaning the hunt, you went to to the camp to meet Rick and know what happened.

Once you arrived you saw that Rick had bruises and cuts on his face, no way it was the kid, walkers? No. It was Shane. Damn, he had the audacity to attack Rick. You didn’t even think, you turned around, hot headed and ready to go look for Shane and beat the hell out of him.

“Where d’ya think ya’re going?” Daryl hold your arm stopping you to go anywhere. He knew where you were going, sometimes he could read you so easily that it surprised him.

“I’m going to give Shane hell, nobody gets to touch my brother.” You yanked your arm from Daryl’s hand, just for him to catch you again, holding his arms around you so you couldn’t go. That wasn’t the moment for you to be reckless.

“Y/N, do you think I was just beaten? I also beat him.” Rick reasoned with you.

“Either way, it wasn’t enough, he deserves worse.” You said, still fighting – in vain - in Daryl’s arm.

“Woman, stop. Ya’re being more hot-head and stubborn than me.” Daryl turned you around and hold you by the shoulders. “Look at me.” He commanded, and you looked at him, right in his beautiful blue eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s uncontrollable and ya know it. If he lays a finger on ya, I dunno what I’m capable of doing and I dun wanna find out.”

“Ok.” You answered and didn’t try to go for Shane, but you still felt like ending him. “Why did you bring the kid back?” You directed the question to Rick.

“He said he studied with Maggie. Which means he knows where the farm is.” Rick ran his hand on his face. “We’ll need another solution.”

The other day, after breakfast, Daryl went to the room where Randall was, he said he was going to talk with him. It was taking a long time for him to return and you were starting to get worried.

“Ok, that’s it. I’m going to see what is taking him so long to come back.” You told your brother.

“Don’t, the kid is handcuffed. There’s nothing he can do against Daryl.” Rick said standing on your way. “I don’t wanna you close to that guy.”

“I think you had said you’d stop treating me like a child, Rick.” You looked at his face and you could see there was something wrong. “Are you two hiding something? That’s it? Now you have secret agreements between both of you?”

Before Rick could say anything, you saw Daryl coming in your direction. Was that Blood on his hand? ‘Holy shit! What the hell have you done Daryl Dixon?’, you thought. He arrived telling you all the information he got from the kid, there were 30 in his group, they were violent and dangerous, they raped women. You followed Daryl to your tent, you could feel he was still angry, so you were thinking about what should be the best approach.

“D. Let me see your hands.” You requested and he started organizing his things to leave and go into the woods.

“There’s nothing to see, I’m good.” He said with some arrows in his hand.

“Daryl.” He ignored you.

“Daryl Dixon.” He ignored you again, stuffing things on his backpack, so you just got close to him silently and yanked his backpack throwing it on the ground.

“What the fuck Y/N?” He shouted at you, now you had his full attention.

“Stop, this shit! I’m talking to you, your hands are hurt! Let me take care of them.” You told him your voice high. He looked at you impatient. You took his hand and guided him to one of the beach chairs. “Sit.”

“I ain’t a dog.” He complained while you made him sit.

“So, why are you obeying me?” You threw back while you picked the First Aid kit inside the tent. You were playing with fire and you knew it.

He tried to get up while he mumbled something in protest that you couldn’t understand. But you were faster than him and pressed his shoulder down so he would sit again. You took the other chair and brought it close to him, sitting in front of him, your legs between his so you could be closer to take care of his hand.

“Gimme your paw, I mean, your hand.” You joked one hand extended on his direction waiting for him to give you his hand. “If I’m a puppy, you might as well be one. Or maybe you’re a Kitten, you are as skittish as one.”

He gave you his left hand very reluctantly, but he knew you would not let him be if he didn’t. You took his hand and saw how his knuckles were hurt, your heart ache by seeing his hand like this, but you also felt uneasy about the young man that was on the other side of his fist. You took some alcohol and wet a cotton swab to pass where he was hurt.

“It’s gonna hurt.” You alerted him, he didn’t say anything. He just observed your small hand holding his and tendering his wounds with the cotton swab, hissing when it hurt too much. “Did Rick ask you to do this?”

“No.” He answered, short… good he didn’t want to talk.

“Did he know about it?”

“Maybe.” He answered eyes on your hands now cleaning the wounds with boric-water.

“Or he did or he didn’t. Gonna take it as he did, he was acting suspect.” You stated, looking at your first aid kit for some ointment.

“Are ya angry at me?” He asked while you passed the ointment on his wounds.

“No, just concerned and upset. Gimme your other hand.” You took his other hand and started to give the same care. “I don’t like both of you hiding things from me.”

“ ‘m sorry, ya dun agree with what I’ve done, do ya?” He asked, head still down paying attention to you.

“Torturing isn’t right.”

“I didn’t have an option, we needed the information about his group.” You cleaned his other hand. “His group… the things he said they did… he’s not someone to be around or for us to let go, he knows where the farm is.”

“So, do you think we should kill him?” You asked a cotton swab passing on his hand.

“Yes.” He said, you were conflicted. You were always taught that killing was wrong, you can’t take life from someone. Unless it’s a walker, of course. Or, if your life is in danger. But execute someone? It sounded wrong, but at the same time… you should think about the group safety. “Don’t ya agree?”

“I don’t know… I think it’s wrong, but I also see that we’re out of better options.” You passed the ointment on his hand.

“Are ya comin’ to the woods with me?” He asked a little apprehensive that you wouldn’t want to be with him because you were upset.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You looked at him and smiled, no way you’d be stuck in the farm again in the middle of all the chaos.

You were having things done to go, when you saw Dale arriving followed by Luna swinging her tail. Dale came to talk to you about the decision of killing Randall, he wanted to know what both of you thought, and of course try to convince you otherwise if you thought the boy should be killed.

“I’m not sure Dale, really. At the same time I think we shouldn’t, I don’t see any other solution.” You said, despite you thought your opinion would not be so important in the end. Dale tried reasoning with Daryl to no avail.

“This group’s broken.” He said, and when you heard that… you couldn’t help but feel bad. Was really your group broken? Did Daryl think the group wasn’t good enough for him anymore? Did he want to leave? Would he leave without you? Would he even tell you if he decided to leave? Was he tired of you?

You were so caught up in your anxious thoughts that you didn’t even saw that Dale was long gone and Daryl was calling you so you could go. “Pup, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hand waving in front of you worried.

“Nothing.” You lied, and he knew you lied. “Let’s go?”

He got his things, you got yours, Luna followed you and you walked silently until you reached the woods. You were open and comfortable with Daryl, you always were and it even annoyed you some times, because you would speak whatever is on your mind, and in your opinion you said things you shouldn’t say. But you couldn’t talk about your feelings, or you tried not to, because of a bunch of insecurities clouding your thoughts. He wasn’t also very comfortable about talking about feelings, so it was understandable, but at the same time he felt uneasy if he didn’t know everything that’s on your mind. He held your hand and it startled you from your unstoppable thoughts.

“Ya lied again.” He didn’t took his eyes from the woods searching for any danger or possible hunt. His voice didn’t change the tone, there was no anger or negative feelings on his speaking.

“I don’t wanna talk about my feelings.” You said looking at your feet attentive to where you stepped, your other hand slightly brushing over Luna’s head.

“But I want to know what ya’re feeling. I need to.” He said, damn… did he sound vulnerable? Was he weak? He couldn’t allow himself to look pathetic and weak, but he also didn’t want to mistreat you. “ ‘m not good talking ‘bout feelings, but I always need to know yers.”

You stopped walking and you turned to him, now holding both of his hands, or more like his hands engulfing yours. “Be honest.”

“Never lied to ya.” He said looking at your face while you were looking down at your hands. “Look at me, please.”

You lifted your head, looking right at his eyes and all you saw was worry. You took a deep breath taking all the courage you had to speak. “Are you…” ‘not happy with me?’ You wanted to complete but stopped mid-sentence. “Do you wanna leave us?”

“Of course not. Where did this come from?” He asked, but before you could answer his mind started to put the pieces together. “That’s because I said the group’s broken, isn’t it?”

“Yes” you said, just that. Unable to say more or add anything else that were running like a tornado inside your mind.

“It wasn’t a lie. I think the group’s broken. Shane’s crazy. Andrea’s reckless and listens to Shane. Carol’s still broken because of Sophia. Glenn… if Hershel decided to kick us from the farm, he’d stay behind and I don’t blame him. This group isn’t like it used to be, not that we were perfect befor’ , we never were.” You took all his words putting everything together and trying to reason what he said. Still feeling uneasy. “Wha’s on yer head?”

“It’s just… when you said it, it seemed like you didn’t care anymore about the group or what happens with it.” You looked at his growing bangs that fell on his forehead, or you wouldn’t be able to say it if you looked at his eyes. “Or…” You paused, no, no, you couldn’t say what you were thinking not at all. You’d scare him, he’d leave you.

“Or wha’ baby?” You looked at his eyes again, and with the worry you saw a softness that you didn’t quite know what it meant. He never called you ‘baby’ outside of the sheets and it made your heart jump and butterflies fly in your stomach.

“Or…” you shifted your eyes to look at your hands, tears threatening to fall. Shit. Why were you so emotional and making a big thing of something this small. “That you didn’t want me and would leave.”

Things had been so good between both of you, that Daryl forgot you still had traumas from your past relationship, traumas that would trigger only when you were in a relationship and could experience things again. And now, was one of those moments. He couldn’t imagine half the shit you’ve been put through so you’d think he would leave you or that he didn’t want you, after he asked you to live with him, after he showed you his scars… after both of you broke so many walls that were built around yourselves.

He let go of your hands and hugged you, you always reassured him when he had his insecurities, now was the moment for him to do the same for you. “I ain’t leaving.” One of his arms was around your waist while the other was in your head bringing your face to hide between his chest and shoulder. “I want ya, and I dun see myself not wanting ya any time soon.”

It was as if a tap was open and the tears that were in your eyes fell making you let little sniffs and hold both hands on Daryl’s vest. “I told Rick, and I’m telling ya now, I ain’t playing with ya.” He didn’t put any names on what you had, he never said ‘I like you’ or ‘I love you’, he didn’t even know how to name what he felt or if he could feel any of those things. But he knew he wanted you, he needed you and he was going to protect you. He had already told you, you were his and indirectly that he was yours, but he couldn’t bring any of those words, these simple words scared him… So he said what he could manage to come out of his mouth. “We’re together.”

You took your face from his chest and looked at his face, he was serious, this wasn’t any sick joke. You should’ve known, you knew Daryl, he wasn’t like that… and you never doubted it. You shouldn’t start doing it now just because you had a relationship. He was not him. He was Daryl and you knew you could trust him. “I’m sorry. I think my period is close, or something…” It was probably something, but you could always blame the hormones, so why not?

He kissed the top of your head tenderly and looked at your face again, now you were better. You looked more like yourself when there wasn’t all those intrusive thoughts and anxiety. “What do ya say I teach ya a little bit of hunting and tracking?” He asked.

“I was waiting for the day you’d offer me this.” You smiled, your hands now resting flat open on his chest. “I’d love if you taught me.”

When it was close to sunset you and Daryl came back to the farm, you didn’t hunt anything as he taught you were still learning so it didn’t go good. He held your hand in his intertwining your fingers and you walked in silence, Luna leading the way in front of you sometimes stopping to wait for your slow asses.

In the moment you arrived at the farm Rick made a call, he was waiting for both of you to make a reunion so everyone could say their opinions about the boy Randall. Everyone except Dale wanted to kill the young man, Dale was extremely disappointed. You still didn’t know what to think about it, but you knew Dale was right.

“I’m with Dale.” You suddenly said and walked to stay by Dale’s side, even though you knew there was no way of winning the vote, you wanted to stay true to yourself. “He’s not his group and as far as we know he didn’t commit a crime that he deserves death penalty.”

You felt like you would combust at any moment just by the stares of Rick and Daryl that didn’t quite understand why you were siding with Dale and not thinking clearly about the wellbeing of the group. Shane also looked at you like you were insane, but you didn’t give a single fuck about it, so it was ok. The others were neutral at you. Soon Andrea also said she was with Dale, but in the end you three weren’t enough to deprive the group from killing Randall.

Everybody left the room to continue their activities, it was getting dark so Daryl, Rick and Shane would take the prisoner to do what they needed to. You were ready to descend the porch stairs when Daryl held your arm slightly and put you aside.

“We need to talk.” He said, and you already knew.

“Is it because I agreed with Dale?” You asked, you knew the answer. “Do you hate me because I disagreed from the group?” All that mattered was that if he would change about you just because you didn’t agree with them.

“Yeah, and I dun hate ya.” Actually it was quite the opposite, but he was concerned about your choices.

“I knew the majority of us would choose his death, my vote would make no difference. So I decided to stay true to myself.” You said, you could see understanding crossing his face by each word you said. “Just because I don’t think it’s right, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be done.”

He nodded at you. “Alright, I ain’t upset. Go stay with Lori while we do this.”

You were with Lori when you saw the three taking Randall to the barn, you held your sister’s hand as a comfort for you. You weren’t going to see the execution, but knowing someone, a human being would be killed in the same place you were was scaring. You were comfortable killing walkers, they weren’t alive anymore, they were just walking corpses. In reality you thought it was merciful to kill the monster that once was a person.

“Don’t think much about it, it’s worse if you do.” Lori tried to calm your nerves, but it was impossible to not think about it.

After some time you didn’t listen to any gun shot and soon you saw Rick and Carl arriving to camp. Wait, Carl? Shit. Shit. Shit. Rick explained that Carl went there to see and that he was encouraging to kill the man. What was happening to the kid? He couldn’t lose himself so quickly like this. Rick wasn’t able to do this with Carl looking, so he postponed the execution.

“Where’s Daryl?” You asked, you saw everyone but him.

“He’s locking Randall again, he’s probably gonna be here soon.” As soon as he finished talking all of you listened to extremely pained screams.

Dale!

You ran in the direction of the screams, Daryl being the first to arrive started shouting for help. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was bad. All of you arrived almost at the same time and what you saw was heartbreaking, all his guts coming out of his ripped stomach. No. You cried. No.

“Hershel!” Rick shouted, the only thing he thought was you all needed him there to take care of Dale.

“It’s too late, Rick.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks. You knew as much medicine as Hershel knew, both of you vets, the old man was just more experienced and have treated more people than you, that had only cleaned T.’s wound and took care of Daryl’s hands. “There’s nothing he can do.”

Hershel arrived and said the same thing, you couldn’t even move Dale. He was agonizing. Andrea pleaded that someone did something. Everyone was in pain by seeing Dale like that. He didn’t deserve this kind of death. Rick aimed his gun at Dale, it was best if someone ended this for him. You turned your back, you didn’t want to see, you had already seen more than you wanted to see. You wait for the gun shot, but before you listen to it there’s a raspy voice. “Sorry, brother.” And soon after Daryl’s voice the sound of the shot.

You were waiting for the shot. You knew it was going to happen, but you jumped at it a cry living your lips. You covered your mouth trying to muffle your sobs. You felt a pain in your chest, everybody felt it. There were cries, sobs and lamenting.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, and it wasn’t a peaceful one, even having Daryl’s soothing presence near you.

Dale was the group’s heart and now you felt like your group were definitely broken.

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[purecommemasolitude]

Okay so re: Darry as the captain in a sound of music AU. This is just one possible route that I thought up last night and typed out while I couldn’t sleep

It’s the type of AU where we steal beats and plot points from TSOM and transfer them into the outsiders, because not being rich is very important to why Darry is the way he is (also for reasons I outline below I made Two-Bit Maria and that man is never even going to think about becoming a religious career man)

And also I don’t actually know when he and Two-Bit would end up together because with some of the changes I made I couldn't make it work within the main plot, so it would have to be in an event bit taken from TSOM. So it’s not in the bullet points

anyway I'll put the bullet points I typed up in an hour at midnight yesterday below the cut because it’s long but I will admit. this one kind of got away from me

- okay so Darry is the captain. Obv

- High school & football take the place of the navy

- Racked my brain for a bit and I think Two-Bit is Maria?? Like I said I don’t really go in for outsiders ships anyway so I cross-referenced usual Darry LIs and general characters and he was the only one who was age-appropriate and also could have a Maria vibe (is able to find the light in life, willing to poke at a cold figure until it shows emotion, gets along with the brothers in canon)

- Soda & Pony are aged down because otherwise this wouldn’t make any sense — Soda is 14 going on 15 and Pony’s 12

- (Steve and Johnny are also aged down to match their respective buddies so the boys can still have friends I think. I haven’t decided what to do with Dally yet in this AU — I would put him as Max with a personality transplant but I don’t know if I can see Dally being chill with Darry’s attempt to. Play into respectability politics essentially)

- Darry’s infinitely more stressed supporting two more needy kids on his meagre income alone. Soda does odd jobs but nothing full time

- This manifests in him being colder / less outwardly affectionate than in the book to Soda as well as Pony

- Furthermore he’s desperately trying to ensure their futures, which means he disapproves of them being too outwardly greaser, both for separation reasons and for respectability reasons down the line

- However being 12 and 14 means they’re less able to control their emotions and understand Darry. So the guy from the state comes down and sees them and says you need to spend more time with these kids man. They’re not loved

- Shit.

- Two-Bit, meanwhile, is living an unluckier life than the book

- After his father left his mother was only able to choose one kid to be able to support, and because he was older and more self sufficient, Two-Bit had to go

- He grows up bouncing around from orphanage to foster home to foster home to orphanage etc, erasing his family out of his mind because it hurts too much and Two-Bit Mathews does not like to dwell on things that hurt him

- Upon turning 18, he’s out of the system and despite his nature is forced to get a job to survive

- He does odd jobs around and scrounges enough money to pay for a shitty shitty motel

- Meets Marcia through these jobs, and they strike up a friendship

- However most of these odd jobs are a lot of labour and very unstable so he’s looking for better & easier work

- He starts thinking and he thinks of his own childhood. If there had been someone else around to watch him, maybe his mother wouldn’t have had to give him away

- And then he has one too many encounters with the bugs in his motel and decides fuck it. I’m putting an ad in the paper

- Darry’s reading the news as he does one night when he sees what may very well be God’s gift to the Curtis family

- There’s someone willing to work for — well, he can’t afford that, just like he can’t afford any of the other prices he’s seen on nannies and babysitters and watchers — but he’s also willing to work for pretty much nothing if he gets lodging

- Soda & Pony are still bunking together for nightmare reasons, and Darry’s sleeping in his own room, so he sits Soda down and asks him if he’s okay with someone else using his old room

- If he’s not, Darry will have to move into their parents’ room, but thank God he is

- So Darry contacts Two-Bit who is surprised that he’s a man and not a single mom but agrees readily

- Darry’s wary of Two-Bit’s manner but monetarily he’s desperate

- Two-Bit meanwhile takes one look at the Curtis house and is like damn no one ever has any fun within these walls. I’ve gotta change that

- Instead of making new clothes for them, Two-Bit teaches them how to grease their hair

- (Darry was away working on a house a little out of the city — it’s a placing he’d normally have had to decline because of the kids, but because of Two-Bit he’s able to accept and get a slightly higher pay)

- Darry is of course furious but Two-Bit argues back, saying that kids need self-expression and haven’t you noticed how happy they are about their hair, and besides, you know damn well grease is more than just what you put in your hair, Curtis. You think Socs can’t take one look at those boys and see exactly what they came from? Exactly what they are? You’re out of your mind.

- We probably tie Maria’s impassioned “please, love all of them” speech to here — then again it’s been a while so maybe somewhere else is better we’ll have to see

- Two-Bit especially throws accusations at him about how Ponyboy thinks his brother doesn’t even love him, and if he’s not going to prove he cares about them then maybe they all would be better off without each other

- He thinks Darry might punch him for that but instead he staggers back like he’s been hit

- Darry remembers what this whole thing was for and resolves to be better

- In showing more of his love for his brothers he also shows more of his personality to Two-Bit, who wasn’t expecting to like this guy as much as he does

- He looks at how hard he fights to keep his family together when his own fell apart for very similar reasons and his heart hurts

- Also Sandy is Rolf (Ralf?? Whatever Liesl’s nazi boytoy’s name is)

- Except we are cutting the nazis because there is no not-grossly insensitive way to do the nazis

- We might have to cut the music theme too? Which is a SHAME, but none of Darry’s hobbies work. So we may just make him dig out his dad’s old guitar or we’ll just ignore that because the music theme, as far as characters go, isn’t as important in this AU. Or maybe music = the greaser lifestyle

- Anyway, life continues and it’s as good as can be, bla bla, somehow Dally is there, without realizing Two-Bit and Darry are catching feelings for each other

- One day, Ponyboy and Soda make some innocent remark about Two-Bit being in love with their brother, and he bluescreens

- Because. Oh shit. He’s in love with their brother.

- And the class difference & pre-existing engagement as reasons they can’t be together in the original is replaced with good old fashioned homophobia in this one, and Two-Bit denies and gets the hell out of there before anyone, let alone Darry notices

- He uses his meagre savings to return to the shitty motel, until finally he talks with Marcia and she’s like what the heck. Why did you leave a dream job to go back to the crummiest motel imaginable

- He dodges and denies but one of the things that drew him to her in the first place is that she’s sharp

- Marcia figures it out, or at least something very close to the truth, and while she’s too aware of 60s homophobia to actually urge him back, she does half-convince him through sneaky means like calling him a scaredy-cat who can’t even tell a few lies until the situation passes

- He goes back to the motel and thinks hard about the situation and remembers how much happier the kids were with someone to keep them company when they were done running around before Darry got home

- He thinks about how Darry was able to get better pay with him there and how much that helped give the family breathing space

- He thinks about how it really didn’t even feel like a job, which is a big draw to someone as disinclined to work as Two-Bit

- And he also thinks about how truly shitty the motel is. And decides to go back

- It’s for the good of the family, he convinces himself, telling himself he does not miss them at all

- He returns, no one says anything about him being in love with anyone, because the boys have learned that when they point it out their new brother leaves, and they’re not about to risk that again

- Darry & Two-Bit have a reunion with a lot of unspoken feelings and they do NOT get together because neither of them are willing to risk outing themselves for the sake of a one in a million chance

- Instead they do a lot of prolonged longing eye contact and are too busy looking at each other to notice Soda and Ponyboy sharing confirming glanced themselves

- So things continue kind of like they were before but with more pining, and also Austria is replaced by the Curtis house, which they’re in danger of losing

- Both Darry and Two-Bit are terrified the boys are going to end up following their respective paths, and they end up having a lot of talks about their futures that turn into co-parenting discussions that turn into heart-to-hearts about themselves

- Darry learns that Two-Bit never found his family again, and does some digging and asks some old school friends and lo and behold, they’re still in town, and here’s their address.

- Two-Bit, who has managed to convince himself that he made up being in love with Darry, sees this man who has every right to drop all three of the people in the house like a hot potato and chase the dreams he’s determined and ambitious and intelligent enough to get, pouring every ounce of his being into care for others, who takes hard times and instead of drinking them away or giving up pushes himself past the edge and comes out swinging, and realizes that he is still in love with Darry. And maybe he will never not be in love with Darry.

- Unfortunate!

- He came back determined to never run away again, and he’s sticking by that, even though it’s never been harder to live under the same roof as Darry and not Do something about his feelings

- (Also, at some point Soda gets jumped, and together with Two-Bit he fights them off. When they all talk about it later at some point in the Curtis home, someone makes an offhand comment about how Two-Bit is basically family and then he really resolves to not leave unless Darry chases him out with a broom)

- Maria and Liesl’s Sixteen Going On Seventeen Reprise is replaced with Two-Bit and Soda having a talk about Sandy, during which Two-Bit talks about being in love like he’s experienced it, which of course he has, but Darry overhears and it puts a lot of stupid hope into his heart because to his knowledge Two-Bit’s never gone steady with someone, and some of his descriptions sound awful familiar…..

- But he crushes those thoughts because he’s learned by now that Darry Curtis does not get lucky breaks

- And if he does confess and it goes wrong, which it will, it could mean his brothers getting taken away

- But he watches Two-Bit joke around with his brothers and sees someone who takes everything life throws at him and inexplicably grins back at it, who is just as intelligent as Darry is but in a way that takes its time to make itself understood, and who cares about his brothers as much as he does, and it’s stupid and hopeless, but he wants. Heaven help him, he wants so badly

- Meanwhile, he’s gotten a job offer. It’s a good job offer too, it means they could maybe afford to spend extra money on new clothes or nicer groceries

- And it’s an office job, someone who heard of him through the bookkeeping he does as his second job for his roofing company, which means fewer hours and more time with the people he cares about

- There’s a recreational football league in the area he’s never had time to join, or Two-Bit’s suggested coaching a younger team too, so he can return to workouts he likes rather than workouts that make his body ache like a man of 40 instead of 20

- It’s pretty much perfect. But it’s halfway across the city and it means they’d have to move out of their parents’ home

- (Yes this is Switzerland. It’s a lot harder to replicate without pre-WW2 Europe)

- He’s conflicted, Two-Bit thinks he should go for it but is also convinced he’s going to be left behind in the move

- Soda & Pony don’t want to leave but they do want Darry to work less so they’re also conflicted

- Two-Bit is listing out reasons for the move and one of them is that they’d be able to cut his cost since Darry’d be home more

- Darry looks at him and carefully says, “you wouldn’t be coming with us?”

- Two-Bit, with a raised eyebrow masking his heart starting to hope, says “well, do you want me there?”

- Darry is too stressed and tired and conflicted to mince his words when he replies, “of course.” like it’s a given, like they’re maybe something more than what they pretend

- But he still doesn’t want to move, until one day they have no choice: if they don’t get out of there, they’re going to lose the house. It’s just not in suitable shape for growing boys, says the state. They don’t have enough money to pay for renovations but Darry is going to rebuild the entire thing himself if he has to, damn it all, until Two-Bit asks him to talk and convinces him to move on

- “Your parents live on in your brothers more than in this house. Your parents live on in you more than in this house. You want to keep their memory alive? Start by doing what they would want you to do, and let yourself have an easy break for once.”

- And so they pack up and Darry takes the offer, but before they leave, Two-Bit visits his family

- It goes… well. Sort of. After seeing Darry run himself into the ground he’s forgiven his mother, and his sister is open to the idea of having a brother

- Their lives were better off than they would’ve been if he’d stayed but his was not and that hurts

- But he remembers the three people who now view him as their own like he was always there, and somehow the pain eases, and when his mother makes him promise to visit again, he actually means it when he agrees

- They gather to say one last good bye to the Curtis home, and despite facing the most unknowns since any of them can remember, they’re together, and that’s enough

The end <3 this is just one possible route that I thought of, I truly have no idea if this is cooking or if the kitchen is burning down

[artist-issues]

On the Percy Jackson series, now that the season has concluded, do you have any thoughts on it, whether standalone or as an adaptation, about what worked and didn't work in it? I ask partly because I want to analyse it as its own thing but I can't stop getting hung up on the changes and I'm not completely sure why.

Of all things, Gabe is the big one for me. They turned him from a repulsive abuser to a pathetic manchild who lacks the power dynamic of his book counterpart and was so consistently treated as comic relief that I actually pitied him. The fact that he shares the fate of his book counterpart actually kind of angers me and it's hard for me to look past that. It left a mean-spirited taste in my mouth.

I don’t think I’ve talked enough about what did work, and I do think there’s a place for talking about that, so I’m glad you asked!

I think Walker Scobell could play a really excellent Percy Jackson. And I think Leah Jeffries and Aryan Simhadri are both very endearing in their roles.

I’m not going to throw shade on 14 year-old actors and actresses. There’s no shade to throw. Acting is vulnerability combined with introspection and understanding. No teenager is going to have the same level of vulnerability, understanding, and introspection, expressed with the same skill, as we’re used to seeing in adults, period. And the show doesn’t do them any favors by giving them very adult lines and very adult-behaving characters to play.

Which segues nicely into—the character’s “arcs” are completely different in the show, but they feel more like…”alternate universe” characters than “out-of-character-rewrites.” For the most part.

I already touched on how Grover is a completely different Grover in the TV show. His fear is both too serious and not extreme enough. He’s not comedic. Instead, he is a voice of reason, and he does have a maturity the other two don’t have. He’s written to talk to the other adults differently than Percy and Annabeth are—more like equals, less like teen-vs-adults. You can easily believe that Grover is a 24 year-old in a kid’s body during those scenes, like the ones with Ares.

But there’s a reason he’s not like that in the Percy Jackson books; he’s comedic, and he’s Percy’s best friend. Percy’s only 12 when they meet; it’s weird for a 12 year-old to be best friends with a 24 year-old—who BEHAVES like a 35 year-old, with all the gravity, and maturity, etc. But if the 24 year-old is a magical creature who, for his species, is still pretty young, and has a comedically immature personality, then the chemistry works much better. Anyway. Not my point.

My point is, Grover might not be Grover, but you can still see trace elements of Grover in him. Like how you can see echoes of Spider-Man in Spider-Gwen’s story. It’s an alternate-universe, not a do-over.

Grover still wants to be a seeker.

Grover still feels guilty about not taking better care of Thalia.

Grover still gets the most outraged and cares the most deeply about nature and crimes against nature.

Grover is still a peace-lover at heart, so he’s the most gentle in relational interactions.

‘That kind of stuff is still there. It’s just re-contextualized and…made less fun. That’s all. More serious. More grit.

Same thing with Annabeth:

Annabeth still wants to prove she’s the best of the best.

Annabeth’s still given up on her normal family and is most comfortable in life-or-death strategizing.

Annabeth’s still smart, but specifically wise enough to notice Percy’s heart of gold while everyone else is busy being afraid of or disappointed in him.

Same thing with Percy:

Percy still has the stubborn rebelliousness we all know and love.

Percy’s still a guy who goes with his gut first and foremost.

Percy’s still willing to sacrifice the future for the present, if the present means saving the people he loves.

Percy still makes wise-cracks at wildly inappropriate times.

And I think some of the show is really well written. Some of it. Two parts in particular stand out. The first is when Annabeth and Percy have the post-killing Medusa conversation, and they have that, “she tried to get me to betray you. What did you say? I killed her sister. What did you say? I cut off her head.” exchange. That’s great. The point of that conversation is “you can trust me because no matter how I might be tempted, this is the line I won’t cross.” But they don’t come out and say that. They have the characters say it without saying it, if that makes sense.

The second bit of good writing that comes into my brain was Luke’s conversation with Percy about being small and scary. It was such a good way to introduce the important concept of why gods need demigods/why gods fear demigods, while also lore-dropping things like “Annabeth is afraid of spiders” and “this fantasy world does have rules.” And on top of those boxes getting checked, you can also see the conversation from Luke’s point of view—he’s bitter about being thought of as a small thing to the gods, but now he’s starting to embrace the scariness part.

So some moments are good, writing-wise. Especially if you tilt your head and say “this is an alternate universe.” I just think they’re not always the right moments for Percy Jackson.