#because i am saying this as someone who would be condescendingly called “girl pretty” or whatevs. just feels like a nicer way of being

[hotgrrlbummer]

this whole "girl pretty" vs "boy pretty" thing just feels like a reskinning of not like other girlsism (other girls being "basic" girls who are "boy crazy" just like in the 2010s) but its even more sinister because its under the pretenses of being feminist girls-girls. hate hate hate!

[anightflower]

Come and Find Me Chapter 6: 24 Hours

Hello my darlings, here is chapter 6 FINALLY. Thank you for letting me work on my mental health, I can’t express how much every interaction I’ve had with you has helped, whether it be a like, comment, or reblog, you guys have brought me SO MUCH JOY. 

Masterlist 

Spencer Reid x Reader 

Warnings: Violence, swearing, mentions of rape

Spencer clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. “What do you mean never see her again? Don’t you dare fucking touch her-”

“Tsk, tsk Doctor, there is a lady present. Though she can’t hear us at the moment.” The voice murmured condescendingly. “But I am a fair man Doctor, I will let you speak to her, eventually.” 

“Let me speak to her now.” Spencer growled. 

“So demanding Doctor, but I suppose I’ll oblige you, if only because she looks so broken right now.” The voice cooed. 

There was silence on the phone for a moment, the beeping of buttons and then, your voice. 

“What do you want now you sick bastard?” You sounded tired, defeated. Spencer felt his heart break. 

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” Spencer asked urgently. On the live feed, you head shot up and looked around. 

“Spencer?” Your voice broke and tears blurred your vision. “Am I dreaming?”

“No, no! I’m coming to find you baby. I promise, this sick bastard is not going to win-” Spencer said encouragingly.

Hope filled your eyes, but quickly disappeared behind nerves. You had to tell him the last place you were. He had to find you and you didn’t know how much time you had left. 

“Spence, I made it to Florida, call the hotel I was at. They might have security footage-” Your voice was cut off. 

“Now, that’s no fair. She can’t help you.” The voice said angrily. 

“No, put her back on the line you sick f-” Spencer yelled into the phone desperately. He could see that you were still talking on the video feed. Tears slid down his face as he watched you mouth “I love you.” You didn’t even know that he couldn’t hear you anymore. 

“24 hours doctor.” The voice said and hung up. The live feed went black.

“It’s a burner phone. I could triangulate it to two cell towers, but that could put it anywhere in Miami.”  Penelope explained.

The room was silent as they waited for Spencer’s reaction. His shoulders were tense, he still eyed the screen, his back completely turned to the team. 

“Spencer?” JJ asked, gently coming up to him. 

“JJ, I’m going to give you the number to (Y/N) hotel. I need you to get any security footage you can from them. Penelope will use face scan and analyze it.” Spencer ordered, his body still tense and unmoving. 

“I’ll contact them and the local police down there, have them start looking for (Y/N)  and set up a place for us at their precinct.” JJ reassured. 

“I’m going to call Hotch and Rossi, I’ll tell them to meet us at the jet.” Emily said. “Maybe they got something out of Curtis that can help us out.” 

Spencer nodded, unable to form words around the tightness in his throat. 

“We’ll get her back Reid, and then we want a proper introduction.” Morgan teased, trying to ease Spencer. 

As they all began to move to grab their go-bags, Spencer’s phone rang again.

Spencer took a deep breath, as he glanced at his phone. It was Ava’s contact. 

He quickly answered it. “Ava?” 

“Spencer,” Her voice sounded terrified. “I need you to come to this address, I think (Y/N)’s in danger.”

________________________________________________________________

You jumped as the door to your “room” slammed open. 

“You stupid bitch!” The voice wasn’t as deep now without it’s automated assistance, but his voice was still muffled behind a mask. It was a cheap plastic Halloween mask, the one you get so you can decorate it however you want. It’s blank white stare covered his whole face. 

He stalked his way toward you angrily, causing you to push yourself further back onto the bed. There was no place for you to go. 

“You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut huh? You are so moon eyed over your Doctor that you fucking cheat. You whore!” He grabbed your ankles and pulled on your chains, dragging you down the bed, causing you to scream. His grip was hard enough to leave bruises. 

“Do you know what happens to whores?” He growled. “They get what they deserve.” 

He tried to push your legs open, but you clawed at his arms, hard enough to break your nails and draw blood. As he tried to draw his arms back, you scratched at his face, ripping the mask off and catching one of his eyes.

He let out a pained scream and backhanded you across the face. You yelped as it sent you flying back against the bed.

You quickly pushed yourself up, readying yourself if he tried to advance on you again. He was hunched over, grabbing at his face, blood leaked from where your nails had dug in. 

“It wasn’t supposed to go this way.” He said enraged. 

Your body froze at that voice. A voice that you knew all too well. A voice that didn’t speak much, but when it did, there was always a smile on his face. 

“No.” You whispered softly.

________________________________________________________________

Andrew Curtis, 29 years old, 6’4. Auburn hair, brown eyes, and a friendly smile that had made women trust him when he had come into their home. 

The man in front of him was smug, too smug for someone who is going to be behind bars for the rest of their life. Hotch wished he could tackle him to the floor and wipe the gleeful look off of his face. 

5 innocent women, almost 6. Women with families and lives just wiped from the world because of the sick bastard in front of him. 

“Oh Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi, what brings you to my humble abode? I’ve recently redecorated, I hope you like it.” Andrew Curtis laughed. 

Hotch and Rossi didn’t deign to respond, hiding their disdain behind a stern blank mask. 

“Ouch, so cold as always, here I was hoping something interesting happened for you to come visit me.” Curtis said with a pout. 

“Rumor has it you’ve been receiving letters from an outside anonymous fan, care to enlighten us more about him?” Rossi said, voice cold. 

“Not even a greeting, a little catch up? How is the rest of the team, Prentiss, JJ,- oh and my dear favorite doctor Reid.” Curtis purred.

“I did always find your connection to Reid fascinating, you only let him talk with you and a little bird told us you keep newspaper clippings about him and much of his thesis and research work.” Rossi pushed, ignoring Curtis’s taunts.

“Oh my guards are such gossips, but I suppose there's not much else to keep them entertained around here.”

Hotch let out a growl. “Let’s skip the games Curtis. You know you have nothing over us, you’re locked here for the rest of your miserable existence and then some. We will not be your source of entertainment. Who have you been communicating with?”

“You know, I never thought you guys would catch me, and it truly took a toll on me when you did. But I had a small victory knowing that you had gotten some of my profile wrong.” Curtis smiled and it made ice fill Hotch’s veins.

“Oh and how is our profile wrong? You’re still in a cell aren’t you? Everything we said turned out to be correct.” Rossi said confidently.

“You might have profiled me correctly dear Rossi, but I am afraid you missed a small crucial detail.” Curtis hummed proudly. 

“And what would that detail be.” Hotch urged. 

“The kind that costs ya Hotchner. Maybe a nicer cell, with a little less security.”

Hotch and Rossi exchanged a look. Could it be worth it? 

Hotch dipped his chin in agreement. Yes, if only for Reid.

“We will see what we can do.” Rossi said slowly.

A smug look crossed Curtis’s face as he leaned back in his chair, satisfied. He looked like the cat that got the cream and the male Agents across from him hated it. “Allow me to let you divine profilers know, that you were wrong and that you might have caught me, but you did not catch my prodigy.” His victorious laugh bounced off the walls, grating the tense room.

“Your prodigy?” Hotch probed, his voice dangerously low, a sign that he would explode if he wasn’t careful.  Rossi gave him a side glance, an attempt to remind Hotch to keep a steady head. 

“Oh yes, it’s a thrill really, knowing that he is still out there, maybe he already has a new victim! But guessing by the fact that you are here, he already took someone, didn't he? Did he leave a calling card?” 

Rossi and Hotchner remained silent and stern faced. 

Curtis cackled, ”He left my calling card didn’t he? Your faces say it all! Oh boy, he really is my best student.”

“Who is he Andrew? We need a name-”

“He finally did it, he got the girl didn’t he?”

“Got who?” Hotch asked. “Curtis is a narcissist, play to that and he will give everything up in no time.” Rossi reminded him before they went into the room.

“Your dear Doctor’s girl! He left hints, but I wasn’t sure that the kid had it in him to be honest, he always seemed too soft.” 

“You sure talk a mean game for someone who doesn’t know what’s going on.”  Hotch growled, knowing this would rouse up Curtis. 

“Oh come now Hotch, don’t play coy with me.” Curtis growled, “He’s got (Y/N), pretty (Y/C/H) haired thing, who if my little brother didn’t care so much for, would have been one of my own victims.”

“This prodigy is your little brother?” Rossi asked, not allowing Curtis to find out if he was right or not. 

“No, not blood related, just someone I took under my wing.” 

The door to the interrogation room opened and a guard popped his head in. “Agent Hotchner, you have an urgent call from an Agent Prentiss?”

“Of course, excuse me.” Hotch said, getting up and making his way out of the room.

He came back less than a minute later. “Agent Rossi, they’ve found a lead.” 

Now it was Rossi’s turn to smirk. “Looks like we won’t be needing you after all Curtis, but do enjoy your current view.” 

Curtis growled and yanked at his chains. 

Rossi rolled his eyes as he got up to leave.

Right as Rossi was about to leave the room, Curtis’s voice piped up, “Nothing brings me more joy than knowing I tricked you, that you profilers failed to figure out that I didn’t work alone. Your devout profiling method was wrong and now my prodigy lives on, achieving his dreams, and ruining you and your doctor in the process.”

Rossi slammed the door shut to block out Curtis’s manic laughter. 

________________________________________________

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[asteriismos]

politics - jacob thrombey

authors note : pls listen to ‘tear you apart’ by she wants revenge while reading this literally. I hope this is at least consistent i did not proofread.

warning(s) : smut, swearing, degrading stuff

words : 3.4k

summary : you’re the liberal, bernie sanders lover at your prep school and jacob is the conservative nazi. the day of your schools political rally each of you finally get rid of that underlaying tension between you two. 

“and oh my god he does this thing with his tongue and it just-”

“jesus, holly, we’re supposed to be talking about the rally,” you said to your friend, giving her daggers when you glanced at her. it was a day until the rally your private school, buxton prep, had every four years for the presidency. 

in usual democratic, liberal fasion, you were rallying for bernie sanders. since you were a senior this year you got to run the whole project, which was obviously more work than you thought it would be, but then again it would look good on college applications. it also got you out of going to the boring classes you didn’t want to go to. all you had to do was raise your hand and say you needed to do something for the rally, and the teacher would dismiss you like it was nothing. 

when you were a little freshman four years ago during the previous election, you were a part of the democratic team as well. though at that time you were just a little fourteen year old, so the seniors and juniors basically made you their lackey. you got coffee for them, baked so many cookies, and went on too many food runs you lost track of the number. you also made so many signs your fingers bled from the amount of paper cuts you got. 

overall, you were very happy that you didn’t have to do that this year. call it hazing, but it made sense that the freshman were tasked with doing all that stuff. 

at your school, which was too preppy it made rival schools want to throw up, the freshman were at the bottom of the food chain. and you had worked really hard to be the senior that you were now. you were popular, always having a group of lackeys, and had one of the best grades in your entire class. 

“. . . sorry y/n, but i am working, look at these signs,” holly said, holding up the sign she was working on. it was a nice sign. holly was purposely tasked with doing the designs because she wanted to be an art major, and she was just a sophomore so you didn’t feel bad about telling her she needed to make fifty. 

you gave her a feigning proud smile, nodding your head. “okay, whatever you say. who are you talking about anyways?”

holly looked up from her work, a blush splaying across her face. “no one, don’t worry about it, it was a one time thing.” 

her eyes, however, gave it away. they looked past you and right at the group of boys who you despised. well, some of them were good, but they were led by someone who you fucking hated it made your blood boil.

dressed in the boys uniform of your school, a dark blue sweater with a white collar popped out and black dress pants, was jacob thrombey. he was talking to some of the other boys in the senior class, motioning with his hands while he talked expressively. you looked back at holly with wide eyes, realizing that jacob was the person that she had been talking about. 

“you did not sleep with jacob thrombey,” you said, mouth agape with shock. 

holly laughed nervously. “like i said, it was a one time thing! it was at that party you said you were going to go with the group to and you never showed up. i was horny i don’t know.” 

“oh, that party, right,” you said with a shrug. you said that you would meet your group of friends at the party that colin ( another boy of the thrombey group ) was hosting this past weekend. but then the more you thought about it, the more you didn’t want to go because getting wasted on a saturday night and possibly ending up in bed with anyone from that group did not sound like a fun time. plus you wanted to take a bath and watch netflix, have a little relaxing night. “still . . . sleeping with the enemy?”

you tuned out holly’s excuses, instead searching your bag for the flyers that you thought you had put in there that you printed in the library earlier. they weren’t there, you probably just forgot to take them and left them in the library by the printer. you groaned, excusing yourself from the group and walking out of the cafeteria. 

your black dress shoes clanked against the smooth tile of the hallway. you anxiously pulled down your dark blue and black checkered skirt so that nothing you didn’t want showing was showing. the skirts were already short enough, which was a little sexist on the schools part, but it was your uniform. there was nothing that you could really do about it. 

the library was unlocked, thank god. you turned the lights on and walked in, making your way to the back to the printers. once you got there you saw your flyers sitting there where they had been left by you in second period. 

soft footsteps echoed closer to you and you turned around, seeing jacob walking over to the printers, phone in hand. suddenly the other printer next to you started up, signaling that he was printing something too. probably his own posters. 

“hey y/n,” he greeted, glancing at you and then leaning against the table, fingers tapping against the wood. 

you scoffed. “thrombey. following me?”

“no, I know this is going to be a dent in your little rich girl complex, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. i’m printing stuff for the rally,” he replied. of course he was.

jacob was running the donald trump campaign for the rally. making you hate him even more than you already did. the way that he acted like no one else in the world mattered except himself made you want to rip your hair out, and the fact that he had the audacity to act like you were the entitled one. 

instead of getting political with him ( because that would be happening all day tomorrow ), you looked at him and said, “could you maybe stop fucking my friends?”

jacob looked at you quizzically. “what do you mean?”

“holly said you hooked up with her at that party, could you maybe not fuck my friends? or if you’re going to hook up with them at least stop hooking up with sophomores. i know they’re easy and can’t see how much of an asshole you are but seriously. gross,” you scoffed. 

“are you jealous?”

you squinted at him. “no, i’m not fucking jealous. i just don’t want you to hook up with her again and then she comes crying to me because you wanted to do knife play or something.” 

jacob only laughed, taking the pile of flyers that finished printing. “why do you think i’m such a sadist?”

“because we all know those hand marks on carissa’s neck last year weren’t just a coincidence after you hooked up with her.”

he didn’t answer, instead shrugging his shoulders and watching away. you sighed, realizing that you were never going to get him to listen to anything you said ever. he was too much of an ass, luckily soon enough you never would have to see him again after you graduate. 

-

today was the day of the rally, and you were more than excited. the only problem was that you were stressed out of your mind trying to get everything set up in your large booth. everyone was either setting up the blue cookies that had been baked or getting the pins ready to hand out with sanders printed on them in large blue letters. 

“where are the shirts?” you asked one of your helpers, giving her a condescending look. “don’t tell me you left them in mrs. prescott’s classroom.”

she had. fucking god. 

you shook your head and turned on your heel, walking away from your booth and leaving someone else in charge while you were gone. you turned the corner and made your way into the big classroom. 

“what the hell are you going here?” a male voice asked. it was jacob, who was looking in a box that had your name on it. it was the box with the shirts. 

you walked over to where he was and grabbed the box away from him. “what are you doing with my shirts?”

“just looking, shitty design,” he said. 

you scoffed. “you’re an ass you know that? no one actually likes you, you have no respect from anyone but your little meathead jocks.” you meant to get him mad, but the look he gave you realized that he was in a more angry mood than he usually is.

“you think you’re such a tough bitch,” jacob yelled at you, pushing you back with such force you felt your stomach drop. his hands came to your shoulders and pushed you again, until you were pressed all the way up against the wall. your shoulder blades dug against the cold concrete, back of your head hitting against it. “you think that you’re so fucking entitled,” he went on, his body capturing yours in a hold so you couldn’t squirm out. 

your hands came to his chest, trying your best to push him away from him. his arms were pressed against the wall, still trapping you. in a leap of faith, you looked up into his piercing green eyes and gave him a smirk. “yeah? and what are you going to do about it, thrombey? teach me a lesson?” 

a sadistic smile came across his face, which made you instinctively press your thighs together, realizing how wet you actually were just looking at him, just feeling how close he was to your body. 

“you’d like that wouldn’t you? for me to teach you a lesson, fuck you until you can’t stand,” he hissed, his head ducked down and pressed hot kisses against your neck. his teeth grazed along that sweet spot and you gasped, your hands now balling up into fists on his chest. jacob laughed against your neck, using his tongue to lick a clean stripe all the way up your neck to the edge of your jaw. “amazing how much of a needy bitch you actually are. not really that tough, are we?”

“fuck you,” you said in a weak voice, feeling his hips grind against your own. he laughed again at your weak attempts to savor the last bit of dignity you had left in you, even though your own body was betraying your mind. your brain was going haywire, not knowing if you were going to push him all the way off of you and leave, or if you were going to give into the temptation. 

the latter ended up winning and you succumbed into his touch, pulling him by his shirt to kiss you. the second his lips landed on yours his tongue slipped into your mouth, fighting with your own and ultimately winning in the little power play you had going on with him. 

he pulled off your shirt, leaving you in nothing but your bra and skirt that was being hiked up by his other hand. you worked aimlessly on his own clothing, pulling off the dark blue blazer and only being left with his white collared button up undershirt to be in between the skin of both of your chests. your hands came up to take off his tie and get the buttons undone, but his own hands grabbed your wrists, tutting condescendingly. 

“that’s not how this is going to go, princess,” jacob said, pulling your hands to his belt of his black dress pants. “did you really think that i was going to let you be in control? i know that you’re a brat, but i didn’t think that you were dumb.”

you whined at his words, hating that his degrading words turned you on even more. his eyes motioned down to the ground and you quickly realized what he wanted. jacob stepped away from you enough to make you slink to your knees, hands still connected to the waistband of his pants. 

deciding to play the brat card with him, you looked up at him and said, “what do you want me to do, jacob?” it was in the most innocent tone you had ever made in your life and the look that he gave you almost made you cum in your pants right then and there. 

your hands came to palm him through his pants, keeping your eyes on him to see jacob’s head throw back with a low groan. his hands found their way to your hair, while you gave his growing bulge a light kiss. you continued to do this until his head came back to look down at you, hand moving to hold you by your jaw. “enough of this,” he spat, undoing his belt and watching as you unzipped his pants and pull them down to the ground. he took himself into his hands and pumped lazily a few times, until letting it rest on your closed lips. 

precum wiped against your kiss swollen lips as you opened your mouth, tongue falling out, waiting for him to do anything. he tutted again, other hand gripping your hair, finally pushing his dick into your mouth. he went as far as he could, hitting the back of your throat and watching you gag around it. you didn’t let yourself gag too much though, just enough to get remotely comfortable as he stilled in your throat. 

then he started moving your head up and down his cock, finding a steady rhythm that had you breathing in and out rapidly through your nose, spit dripping off his shaft and down your chin. the lewd noise that came out of your mouth made you moan, the vibrations enough to make him groan himself. 

he pulled you off of him, spit falling and getting everywhere on your face. “at least your pretty while i face fuck you, unlike your little friend holly. she just kept gagging and choking, which was hot at first, then a little sad,” he mentioned, wiping some of the spit off your chin with his thumb. 

you were about to talk to him again, until he was pushing right back into your mouth, to which you hollowed your cheeks out as much as you could to fit all of him in there. 

the sounds of his noises sent pressure right to your core, and you needed to alleviate the hot pressure that was building. sneakily ( or what you thought was sneakily ), your hands came to play with your clit, making you groan out against his dick. this caught his attention, and he pulled all the way out of you to give you a frown.

“are you actually touching yourself without my permission?” he asked, his voice teasing you and making you feel like a little girl.

your eyes widened, feeling stupid from his words and scared about what he was going to do about you getting caught in the act. he was silent, only looking at you with those dark green eyes that made you squirm under his gaze. without speaking, he pulled off the tie he was wearing and grabbed your hands, pushing your wrists together behind you. 

you couldn’t see what he was going to do until you felt the fabric bite into your skin, hearing the fabric fold into a tight knot. you tried to move your hands away from the tie and you couldn’t, they were tied together, unable to do anything. you were completely in his control now. 

“i'm sorry jacob . . . please i want to touch you,” you whined, though your voice was breaking from him ruining your throat.

he just laughed. “no, you wanted to touch yourself. don’t lie y/n, or i’ll just keep you like this and make you watch me finish myself off.” 

you hated that you found how cruel he was being hot, that it made you even more wet at the thought of him doing anything he wanted to you now that you were completely in his control. 

“get up,” he ordered, grabbing you under your arms and helping you onto your feet. it took you a moment to steady yourself since you didn’t have much balance, though you weren’t standing for long when he pulled you over a few feet away and bent you over the closest desk. your chest pressed against the cold surface, he pushed your head down too, cheek against the wood. 

he pulled you by the hair to hold you up, feeling his cock press up against you. “suck on these real quick for me princess,” jacob muttered, pushing two fingers into your mouth. you moaned against them, wiping your tongue all around them, letting your spit catch along his long digits. “good girl,” he praised, pulling them out of your mouth, pulling away your panties and inserting both of them into your aching hole. 

you yelped at the sudden pleasure, but pushed your hips against his hand, feeling him pump them in and out over and over again at an unforgiving pace. “is this what you wanted? just to be touched by someone you claim you hate,” his fingers pulled out of you, his hand landing to steady your hips. 

you heard him fumble a little bit, pushing into you after a few seconds went by. he was so big, and didn’t waste any time to let you adjust. when he bottomed out, he pulled all the way out and then back in roughly. you clenched around him, gasping breath in and out in a desperate attempt to adjust to him. 

even though he was going at an already fast pace, you could tell he was holding back. so you smirked, saying, “you said you’d fuck me till i can’t stand, but here i am standing.” jacob laughed, pulling you up by the hair again. you felt his hot breath fan against the shell of your ear as he whispered, “whatever you say.” 

his hips began rutting against you at an unbelievable pace, making you almost scream, head still being held up only by his hand in your hair. his lips kissed the skin below your ear, all the way down to the back of your neck, making you shiver and lean into his touch. 

your legs were already feeling tired, especially since your hands were still tied behind you by his tie and you couldn’t use them to hold yourself up. you felt like a limp rag doll against the desk while he pounded relentlessly into you. 

you were already so worked up that you knew you weren’t going to last very long, and surprisingly enough the way that the edge of the desk was digging into your hip bones the more you reached closer and closer to that edge. 

“fuck jacob i’m going to cum,” you yelled out, fingernails clenching into the palms of your hands. “please, please let me cum.”

“well since you asked so nicely,” jacob said. “cum then.”

you yelped out, squeezing around him and hitting your high like hitting a hard brick wall. the impact of him still rutting relentlessly and animal like into you made it hard for you to stand, riding out your high. his arm came to wrap around your waist, holding you against the desk while he chased his own high. 

the sensitivity you felt was enough to make your eyes water. jacob was not that far behind you though, giving you one last good thrust then spilling inside of you. you felt the cum enter you and fill you up, and when he pulled out you felt the liquid run down your inner thighs. 

the sounds of each of your breaths filled the room. your wrists were undone and you leaned against the desk, turning around and looking at them. there were deep purple bruises in a ring along them, and you knew those were going to be impossible to cover up with makeup to make your skin look natural.

each of you were silent while he got dressed and you cleaned him off of your thighs with a kleenex, getting dressed yourself. until you said, “you’re lucky i’m on birth control, asshole. you didn’t even ask me if you could come inside.”

“I figured you were, seemed like you,” he retorted. 

“you’re still unbelievable,” you answered, deciding to pin up your hair because there was no way you would be able to make it look normal while it was down. 

jacob tied his tie and gave himself a once over. “yeah, and you’re still a brat. see you at the rally, hopefully your voice recovers or else you’ll have to explain to all of your liberal bitches about how you got on your knees for me.”

asshole.

[lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime]

Weasley Love: Part 6 - What future could be

Chapter summary: being a young adult in a world threatened by an impending war is definitely terrifying and it must also be added the fact of becoming independent. The Weasley twins are very clear about what they want and work hard for it, (Y/N) must manage to be the owner of her future outside of Hogwarts next to a successful partner.

>previous chapter / next chapter   //   SERIES MASTERLIST

Warning: mentions of death, a slap and *spoiler* sorry if you like Percy

*****

(Y/N) opened a box and smiling looking inside “I think you didn’t actually want me to open this box” she reached into the box and pulled out a piece of underwear smiling.

The twins looked at her and burst into laughs before approaching her.

“You’ve seen most of mine” George shrugged taking the underwear.

“And I don’t have anything to hide” Fred took the box to move it into the dorms.

She chuckled and sighed leaning on a wall, looking around the small but warm living room. George observed her before going to her and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her temple “what do you think?”.

“It’s amazing that you have become independent and I think this house is great for the two of you”.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit small or old?”.

“No!” she wrapped her arms around his neck “I mean, you might paint it and maybe change the main door, but besides that, I really like it. And the fact that is above the shop is a winning situation” she smiled before kissing his lips softly.

George sighed and pulled away his head slightly “you know what it would be a winning situation? If you were here too” (Y/N) frowned titling her head and he pulled away, taking her hands in his “what I mean is, why don’t you move in with us?”.

Her eyes widened surprised, they hadn’t talked about living together even though that summer they had spent almost all the time together. Fred appeared in the living room and crossed his arms with a small cough. George turned around and smiled at his twin knowing he had his full support.

“I…” she started, looking at the brothers and moving away from the wall “but, this is your house. I know you were looking forward to living alone, I would be a bother and break your dynamic” said the last thing looking at Fred who shrugged.

“I’m up for it as long as you keep your love activities at night as quiet as possible” (Y/N)’s cheeks turned bright red, making the oldest twin to burst into laughs “come on, I don’t mind at all having you here. Although you might regret having me as a roommate”.

“Fred…” George groaned before looking at his girlfriend “love, listen, we really want you to move in, we’ve been talking about it. But just if you want it. If you don’t, that’s perfectly fine too”.

“It’s not that” she smiled at him and put her hands on his chest “I would love to, but I think it’s not fair, I can’t pay rent. And don’t tell me I wouldn’t need to, you know I wouldn’t live here for free”.

The twins looked at each other before Fred spoke up “well, you could put that dream of yours on work” George titled his head looking at his brother “you could negotiate for us with suppliers, some are from other races and it’s a bit complicated for us to communicate, and it wouldn’t be a job like being in the shop, you can combine it with that course of yours”.

“Have you been thinking about it?” George asked surprised at which Fred shrugged with a smirk.

The youngest twin looked at his girlfriend that was looking at Fred with squinted eyes, thinking about the proposition “I think it’s a fair deal until you find a job”.

(Y/N) sighed and nodded mumbling “it could work”.

“So…?” George started to ask with a huge smile.

The girl looked at Fred with a raised eyebrow “are you sure you don’t mind me around here being lovely-dovely with your brother?”.

Fred laughed and shook his head “it would be just like in school so…”.

She laughed and looked at George who was staring at her, waiting for her response. (Y/N) sighed and nodded “okay, yes. I would love to live and work partially with you”.

The redhead cheered happily and took her face between his hands to kiss her, making her laugh against his lips.

“Okey, okey, okey, too much love and it’s not for me” Fred said jokingly and went to them, wrapping his arms around the couple.

The both of them laughed and (Y/N) looked up at the oldest twin with a bright smile. Fred smiled back and kissed her forehead “I must warn you that I’m not friend of picking up after my things”.

“I don’t care much and, besides, I’m not going to put a foot in your room so…”.

George chuckled and Fred smirked hugging them again while yelling “roomies!”.

*****

“… and they go to sleep quite late but I assure you that they are eating well and resting”.

Arthur Weasley nodded with a small smile “it reassures me to know that you are around them to check they take care of themselves and not just work. I am really proud of them, really, really proud, but I worry too”.

“It’s perfectly understandable Mr. Weasley” she looked ahead, seeing the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes that made her smile “although I wouldn’t worry to much, your sons know what they are doing. They are amazing. All your children are”.

The man smiled brightly “thank you for your kind words, dear”.

She shook her head and the both of them walked to the shop, having a bit of trouble to step into it because of the people there. It was usual since the inauguration.

George saw her in the moment she appeared through the door and he approached with a frowned, followed by Fred.

“Weren’t you going to use the Floo network?” he asked when he reached (Y/N).

“Hello to you too” she smiled and kissed his cheek “don’t fear, I’ve come with someone really special”.

George looked over her shoulder to see his smiling father.

“Hello dad” the twins said in unison making (Y/N) chuckle.

The four of them went to the counter where the brothers talked with his father while the young woman attended a couple of wizards.

“…and what is it about the Floo network?” Arthur asked frowning a bit.

The three of them sighed and George wrapped his arm around (Y/N) who was the one to reply “since things are getting a bit… unsafe, we decided I would come from the course in the Ministry directly home by the Floo network”.

“I see, that’s a very reasonable plan. I’ve seen most of the shops has already closed… What a pity…”.

George went to attend the clients while Fred turned to his father “do you want to stay for dinner, dad?”.

“Oh no, no. I wanted to see you both AND give you something” he took a package from his bag “food from mom”.

“Yay!” Fred cheered taking the package “I’ll send her an owl when we close the shop”.

“And meanwhile I will take this upstairs” (Y/N) took the package “I have to do some translations so I must start now before dinner time. See you and my father for tea tomorrow?”.

“Of course, darling. See you tomorrow”.

The girl kissed Mr. Weasley’s cheek and squeezed George’s arm with a smile while passing by him and going to their house.

Two hours later the twins appeared in the house, Fred going to the shower after ruffling (Y/N)’s hair in his way. George laughed seeing her trying to tame her hair and kissed her lips “are you going to stay up all night again? I should worry this is going to be like OWLS’ time” he took a sit next to her on the sofa.

“No, don’t worry. I’m not going to skip meals, I promise” she sighed, putting away her homework and let herself fall, putting her head on his lap. George caressed her hair with a smile and she snuggled against his stomach with a sigh.

“I… I have a proposition” she looked up at him curiously “we’ve been working nonstop, barely having time for ourselves and… I think we should truly spend time as a couple. Now that we are out of Hogwarts and we can truly spend time together, I don’t want to stuck in a routine. And, with everything that is going on, I just… want to enjoy with you”.

(Y/N) took his hand from her hair and brought it to her lips, kissing the back of his hand and fingers while looking up at him “I completely and totally agree”.

George smiled and leaned in to kiss her “I’ll pick you up tomorrow” kiss “and I’ll take you somewhere I truly like” kiss.

“Where? With how things are going…”.

“It’s near my parents, it’s a place I used to go with Fred but I haven’t taken you there yet. If we see something strange, we can run there, it’s pretty close”.

“But, haven’t your parents put a protective charm around so just your family can go through it?”.

“Yeah but you are in that list too, I told my mom to give you permission”.

(Y/N) pouted playfully and wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling him closer and kissing his neck mumbling ‘I love you’. He laughed and sought her lips, kissing her softly while talking about the date of the following day.

*****

“I don’t think is safe anymore, I know they’ve been tracking my trips”.

(Y/N) and the rest of the students were shocked and angry about the decision of their professor to end the course abruptly. But she had her reasons, fear the main one. They all left the room, barely with a goodbye when the professor disappeared. The girl walked towards the fire places to take the Floo back home when she heard a conversation that called her attention because of a familiar voice.

“… if she has ended that poor of excuse of course, it’ll be something” followed by obnoxious laughs “and their students should be watched too, who know what they had been learning”.

She clenched her teeth and turned to the group and marched towards them “don’t you dare talk about her like that” the men turned to her and, the one who has talked, stared at her condescendingly “you know nothing, you are just a group of arrogant, conceited, ass-licking of a worthless minister”.

“How you dare…?” one of them say, but the redhead stopped his co-worker, taking a step towards the girl.

“And do you think you are in position to teach us anything? Someone who needs to keep ‘studying’ after school, that says a lot about you, or that you get the crumbs of a jokester who doesn’t know anything but be a clown”.

(Y/N) didn’t think. She just acted. And her hand slapped Percy Weasley’s cheek with force, making his glasses to fall. Three wands, from the other men present, raised to her but she kept staring at Percy that looked at her outraged. She took a step closer, almost being chest to chest although she had to look up.

“You don’t deserve to have the Weasley surname, you do not deserve the family you have. When you find yourself alone because of something as absurd as ambition that it will take you nowhere, remember my words, you are a disgrace”.

Then she turned around and left quickly even though the men yelled after her. She took the Floo network and landed at her empty house breathing hastily. She threw her bag on the floor and let herself fall on the sofa, trying to calm herself. She hadn’t spoken that much at Percy, ever, but she couldn’t stand how he treated his family in favour of the Ministry.

Suddenly the main door opened abruptly with his hand in his hand and walked to her agitated “are you okay?” she frowned “we've heard a thump from the shop”.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just thrown my bag on the floor” explained with a sigh.

George frowned seeing her with a defeat face so he crouched in front of her and caressed her cheek “I’m going down to tell Fred, but I’m going to go back and you are going to tell me what has happened” she was going to protest but he took her face and caressed her cheeks, wiping away a tear she hasn’t realized that had fallen “give me five minutes”.

She nodded with a sigh and he kissed her forehead before leaving. It was more than 5 minutes, but because George wasn’t alone. Fred sat on the floor in front of her while George sat next to her on the sofa.

“Have you closed the shop?” she asked frowning.

“Don’t worry about it and spill it” Fred said staring at her.

“I… I might have slapped Percy across the face”.

The twins looked at each other with widened eyes before looking at her. Looking down, she explained them everything, from the abruptly cut in her course from the argument with their brother.

“… and if your mom ever knows, she’s going to hate me”.

“Don’t worry about mom and I don’t think he would humiliate himself telling how you’ve put him in his place” George said with a smirk.

“I would have paid to se his face” Fred laughed “thank you sister, really”.

She shook her head with a small smile.

“And now what is going to happen with your studies?” George asked caressing her arm.

(Y/N) shrugged and pressed her lips into a thin line before speaking again “right now, I don’t really care. She has a point, you know? I’ve seen people coming and going in the Ministry and they didn’t seem that friendly… It’s actually getting a bit scary” she looked at George “my dad wants to go away with my grandma”.

“And are you going with them?” Fred asked looking at her.

She looked at the oldest twin and shook her head “no, I want to fight when the time comes”.

Fred smiled at her while George seemed worried but didn’t say anything and just hugged her to him, which she responded snuggling to him with a small smile.

*****

George approached (Y/N) that was sitting with Bill and Fleur, the three of them with sad smiles while they talked between them. In the moment they knew about the attack on Hogwarts, and the death of Dumbledore, (Y/N) hadn’t left the engaged couple’s side for too long, worried about Bill but also Fleur, wanting to help her and Mrs. Weasley to take care of the oldest of the siblings.

“I’m sure you two will look amazing” (Y/N) said softly to the couple.

“You too” Fleur smiled at her “you are really pretty”.

The girl blushed and thanked her shyly. George sat next to her and kissed her head before greeting his brother and future sister-in-law “what were you talking about?”

“The wedding” Fleur answered smiling brightly, she was looking forward to spend the rest of her life with Bill “after all of this, I want to hold to the happy things”.

“Couldn’t agree more” (Y/N) nodded and leaned on George “have your parents already gone back to the Burrow?”.

“Not yet, they are waiting for you two” said the redhead to the couple “but don’t worry, they are talking with McGonagall”.

“But we should already go” Bill spoke up and they all stood up “will you come for dinner?”.

“Sure” George accepted for both.

They said their goodbye, Bill kissing (Y/N) forehead, before reuniting with Molly and Arthur. George and (Y/N) just started to walked down the aisle, greeting some people, stopping to talk to some of them. They reached Ron and Hermione who was crying on the boy’s shoulder while he caressed her arm. Ron looked up at them and (Y/N) waved with a small smile without wanting to interrupted.

They met Ginny halfway the aisle, seeing Harry walking away by himself. (Y/N) hugged the girl with a sigh and kissed her cheek “how is he?”.

“He doesn’t want to talk about it, it’s understandable” Ginny swallowed “guys, this is the start. This is the start of the war and I’m afraid for him, for all of us”.

“If we stay together, we’ll end him. And Harry won’t be alone in this” (Y/N) tried to encourage her, squeezing her hand while talking.

Ginny nodded unconvinced and the three of them walked to Fred that was talking with a some of Gryffindors and stayed there with Lee and Angelina for a while. (Y/N) and George were hand in hand and she hugged his arm, leaning her head on it without truly listening to the conversation.

A bit later, an owl appeared and offered (Y/N) a letter so they all kept silence while she read it. She sighed deeply and smiled “my dad and grandma are safe in Italy now”.

George smiled and kissed her head. She smiled up at him and saw by the corner of her eye Professor Lupin and the Auror Nyphadora Tonks, which was a talented and funny witch. A surprising but fitting couple. She bit her lip and made a decision, going to them quickly and leaving a frowning George behind.

“Professor, may I have a word with you?”.

“I’m not your professor anymore, (Y/N). You may call me just Lupin” he said with soft voice.

She smiled and nodded “Lupin and Tonks, I want to join the Order”.

George stood by her side and stared at her surprised but she kept looking at the adults that looked between them.

“I know the danger but you’ll need all the help you can now, right? Please, I want to help”.

Lupin looked at George who smiled softly at his girlfriend. It was Tonks who spoke up “we will talk with the rest, but consider yourself inside fellow Hufflepuff” she winked at her “talk soon, then”.

The Auror took Lupin’s arm softly and the both of them said their goodbyes.

(Y/N) turned to George and looked up at him a bit nervous about his reaction to her suddenly decision. But he just smiled at her and put her hair behind her ear “so… The Order”.

“I feel I’m doing nothing and I really want to fight”.

He sighed and hugged her to him “my brave Hufflepuff”.

She chuckled and hugged him back tightly “but I’m really scared”.

“I would be worried if you weren’t… But as you’ve said Ginny, as long as we are together, we will win”.

The girl nodded and pressed her cheek to his chest, looking up at the castle that had been their home, the place that had seen the birth their relationship, filled with memories and laughs. The place where it would all end even though they didn’t know yet.

Tag list: @the-romanian-is-bae​ @allaboutsml​ @girl22334​ @nikkipea​

Notes: well, just two chapters left. It might take me a bit to write them since they are going to be emotional and I want to do it justice. Thank you!

[axther]

everything stays

denki kaminari x reader 

prompt: lost in the woods ( @bnhabookclub​‘s bingo event!!) 

in the end, only the watcher stays.

a/n: thank you to the wonderful @pixxiesdust, fantastic @chubbynegget, the amazing @samanthaa-leanne, the incredible @fanfic-me-up, the celestial @tamasoft, and the exceptional @eddiesfuckinzone​ for beta’ing for me!! y’all are so sweet ;; the transparents are from @bellushimiko​! you can find them here!  

Denki Kaminari didn’t know how he got in this situation. 

He was in the middle of a ring of trees, which inside had a ring of rocks. A snowy wolf was on top of the rocks with a dissatisfied snarl, their tail wrapped around the top of it in a cartoonish way. Denki didn’t know what wrong turn he made, where he separated from Bakugou, Kirishima, and Sero, but he had found himself in front of a pack of dark wolves, all growling at him. He was sure that they would’ve eviscerated him, had the white wolf not come along. They turned without question or fear, and the white wolf simply stared at him like a disappointed mother. Not only that, something was just off about the ring, like if he stretched his hand forward, he could touch something not quite mortal. 

“Hooh-kay…” He sighed, leaning away from the wolf. “This is weird.” 

The wolf narrowed their e/c eyes. Denki gripped the strap of his hiking backpack tighter. 

“I am going...to leave you alone. I am not dying today. Nuh-uh.” Denki pursed his lips before attempting to go around the rocks. A sharp, female voice pierced the air. 

“What are you doing in my forest?” 

Denki froze, golden eyes wide. “Who said that?” 

He spun left and right, panic in his veins. The voice echoed all around him, and he near snapped his neck trying to locate it. A twig snapped behind him, and when he looked, the wolf was gone. 

“Didn’t your parents ever teach you to not answer a question with a question?” 

Denki spun around and saw the wolf was gone. His heart stopped, just a bit, and he looked around to try and track the wolf. There were glimpses of it, just barely, like a wisp in the dark trees. There was no sunlight, no moonlight, no light at all, except for the vaguely glowing rocks and the white wolf. A voice hissed, everywhere and nowhere at once. Every word was annoyed and packed a punch, echoing in the deepest parts of the forest like an auditorium. 

“What are you doing in my forest?” 

Denki jumped out his skin, leaping away and trying to turn, but something snagged his ankle and he plummeted to the ground. He tried to catch his breath until he saw the barest wisp of a white shadow before someone walked up to him. Before him was a young woman, maybe his age, with h/c hair and startling white streaks running through it. Despite her skin being s/c, she was practically glowing, and one eye was even so grey it was white. The other was a warmer e/c. It could only be described as more human, tangibly vulnerable. Denki swallowed. 

She was, without a doubt, ethereal. Celestial, earthly, ghostly and immortal all at once. 

“Are you deaf?” She hissed, and Denki was broken out of his stupor. Her tone was more irked than anything, and she leaned in. Denki backed up and she took a step forward, and they played it as though it were tag until Denki’s back hit the biggest rock in the middle. 

“Uh, well, uh, I, uh, my friends, we were, uh, you’re...you’re pretty. Who are you?” Denki stuttered out what he hoped was a comprehensive sentence, but the girl’s eyes darkened. “What are you?” 

“That’s a bit rude, innit?” She stood straight, holding her nose up in the air. “You��re in my forest, and you’re asking what I am?” 

“I’m sorry, ma’am, miss. Uh.” He fumbled over his words when she leaned in again, and he breathed in something that was purely terrestrial. It was all sorts of sweet things, like berries, and there was mud and bark and the sunlight wafting through the trees when you’re alone. 

“Well?” 

Denki blinked. “Well, what?” 

“Why. Are. You. In. My. Forest?” 

“I thought it was government property.” 

“That’s what I let them think.” The girl shrugged haughtily. 

“Then…I was here with some of my friends.” Denki stepped from the rock, feeling something tingling up his back. “We were walking the trails, actually.” 

“Then you should’ve stayed on the trails.” The girl tilted her head condescendingly. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you to not stray in the woods?” 

“Well, if it meant I would meet pretty girls, then I would do it anyway.” The girl jumped when Denki said it so smugly, and her head whipped around. She wore a pout before huffing. 

“You’re in the face of...of me, and you flirt?” 

“I flirt with danger. What can I say?” 

“Insufferable.” She gave a cross between a concerned and disgusted. “Are all humans like this?” 

“Only me.” Denki gave a cheesy grin. The girl’s frown shook at its foundation.

“Absolutely amazing. Are you aware that I could kill you?” 

Something in Denki told him that he should be terrified, but he wasn’t. It was like when humans go skydiving; stupid, but entirely within their will. 

“I guess. You look too cute though.” 

“C-!” The girl sputtered a bit.”Why would you…?!” 

“What’s your name?” Denki felt his confidence grow at the crack in her exterior. “I’m Denki Kaminari.” 

“I have many names.” The girl hesitated, still looking confused. “Aisling, some call me. But I know myself as YN.” 

Denki nodded fervently, a finger on his chin like he was trying to mimic Michelangelo’s David. “A pretty name for a pretty lady! I like it!” 

“You’re named for thunder.” YN mused, slowly letting her shell edge away. “Why?” 

“I have an electric quirk!”  He snapped his fingers and let out a little spark. YN’s eyes got impossibly big. 

“How did you do that?” There was a veiled shock in her voice like she either didn’t want to show her confusion or didn’t want to offend him. “You...are you...do you have magicks?” 

“Huh? Magic? Nah! It’s a quirk! All my friends have quirks. If you want, we can go and look for them.” 

“Your...friends. The ones you got lost from.” 

“Yeah! Sero can use tape, and Mina, she’s super cool, she’s got acid!” 

“...Alright, then.” YN rose to her full height for the first time, and Denki felt something deep in him shift when he realised she was his height if not taller. He couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. “Where did you lose them?” 

“What?” Denki paused. “I figured you knew, like, everything about the forest?” 

YN frowned. “I’m not omnipotent. This is my forest, but I don’t know everything.” 

“Well,” Denki turned, beginning to go back to the way he came. “This got a lot harder.” 

“They are your age, yes?” YN followed without making so much as a sound, quicker on her feet than she should’ve been. When Denki glanced down, he saw she was like a gazelle; prancing with her feet barely touching the ground. She often let him move ahead of her, only to leap forward in a graceful movement that made Denki jealous, flitting left and right like a curious faerie. 

“I mean, yeah. We all go to school together.” 

“Then they are most likely still looking for you. We shall listen, and I can send the madaidhean-allaidh to look.” 

“The what?” 

“Wolves. The wolves.” 

“Oh.” Denki turned back around and began trying to retrace his steps. The trees loomed over him, and when he glanced around, YN was gone. Panic flooded his system until there was a small giggle from above him. He looked up to see YN perched on a branch that in no way could’ve held her weight and leap from limb to limb of the trees. She didn’t so much as wobble, and Denki tripped on a rock watching her. He fell into a faceful of moss and he heard YN slump onto a branch, laughing. 

“Come on, buachaill toirneach! We shall find your friends!” 

They didn’t find Denki’s friends. 

It had been well over an hour and Denki could feel the sun sapping at his energy. Sweat clung to his skin and he used some spare cloth from his bag to hold his hair back. There was conversation at the beginning of the search, soft murmurings from YN that lead Denki to somehow make a fool of himself, but as time went on, they drained away into silence. 

YN. 

With every moment she moved, with every glance Denki sneaked in, he began to realise something about her. When he first met her, he thought she was a quirk user, just not socialised. She spoke fondly about her forest and the wolves. She was lithe and fast, running across the trees without touching the ground. She became little more than a streak of a white dress, dancing through the leaves and sunlight. Her feet never seemed to touch anything. 

Denki wondered if she was even human. 

It made sense. Maybe she was something older than him, or even older than quirks. Was she from an age bygone? Or was she as old as the planet itself? Did she plant the first tree of the wood and remained with it, long after all the other little plants and animals had left? She seemed so cosmically amaranthine, like the very oaks and pines kneeled their branches so she could flit across them. She didn’t even look human, with kind hands and arms that lead to a coldly beautiful torso, and a graceful neck, and a head that Denki was sure not even Toga could duplicate.  She was strangely deathless, like a corpse brought back to life. Even her hair seemed to defy mortality and gravity. 

Denki blinked. He had been staring at her, and she was staring unblinkingly right back, not even glancing to see where her feet would go. Her arms were behind her back and she looked mischievously innocent.  

“Penny for your thoughts?” She mused, weaving behind the trunk of a redwood and reappearing on the other side. Denki pursed his lips. 

“What are you?” 

YN faltered for the first time, stopping and staring at Denki with her full attention. He stopped, too, but because of the severity of her eyes. One white, one e/c. It was spectral and eerie, and something in Denki’s blood cooled and was lit on fire at the same time. 

“What do you think I am, thunder boy?” She asked. She sat on a branch, but it was airy, like she lifted her legs and floated down onto the bark. 

“I don’t know.” Denki hesitated. “I don’t think you’re human.” “No, I’m not.” YN held her head in her palm, looking thoughtful. “I don’t think I ever was.” 

Denki swallowed thickly. “Then...are you some sort of god?” 

YN paused before beginning to shake with laughter. It consumed her whole until she had to wipe a tear from one immortal eye. 

“There are no gods here. It’s just me. No god would dare step in here.” 

“Why not?” 

YN tilted her head. “Why not…? I suppose they are afraid of me. I am not something to be controlled.” 

“Then what are you?” Denki felt the slightest sense of frustration. They were back to the original question. 

“I don’t know.” 

Instantly, Denki felt all emotions except for guilt vanish. She sounded so sad and confused, looking up towards the sky and dangling her legs back and forth. The dress swirled around her thighs. 

“Oh.” 

“I suppose I’m the forest, itself. I’ve been here for so long, I’m not quite sure. I remember when the humans came in with axes and blades, and I howled and bit at them until they bled.” She looked back down at Denki. “It took them years, but they learned their lesson. They will not touch my forest ever again.” 

Denki said nothing but swallowed again. He could only imagine the fear; something you didn’t know, monsters even, coming in and tearing down your home, your heart. Of course, YN would react the way she did, to both them and Denki. She wasn’t hostile, she was defensive. She wasn’t mean or rude. She was scared and confused. 

“You’re a curious human, thunder boy.” 

Denki snapped out of his thoughts when YN fell to the ground. Her arms were spread for the fall and her feet touched the forest floor without so much as a sound. Where she stepped, Denki realised, little white, star-shaped flowers bloomed. She looked at him and Denki looked at her. 

“Why are you guilty, thunder boy?” She walked to him as though he were a scared animal. He felt his breath catch when she got unbelievably close. “You are kind. And that is...rare in humans.” 

“I just...I feel bad. For what we’ve done.” 

“Then fix it. Learn from your mistakes.” She was close, so close, and Denki was sure he stopped breathing. He could smell her, and she smelled like rain and sunlight and all the little green things. 

“I will,” He gasped out. “I will.” 

And YN leaned in, just enough, and Denki leaned in, and quietly, like the moon on a cloudy night, their lips met. 

It wasn’t more than skin on skin, but it was soft, and Denki shook. He placed a gentle, quivering hand on YN’s cheek and he could feel her smiling, ever so sweetly. When she pulled away, there was a softness in her eyes, and she held a hand to his cheek. She began swiping her thumb against it, and Denki realised he had been crying. Something tugged at his heart, and he kneeled to the ground. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” 

YN kneeled down, too, and the plants around them seemed to lean in. The wind fell silent and the trees stopped whispering, and it was like the whole forest leaned in to hear. 

“I know, Denki. I know.” 

Denki didn’t know when he fell asleep or woke up, but it was with Sero looming over him. 

“Dude!” Sero cheered. “You’re finally awake! Hey guys!” Sero turned, waving. “He’s awake!” 

Denki sat up as the other three began walking over. Bakugou looked furious as usual, but both Kirishima and Mina looked relieved. 

“Lucky! We were worried something happened!” 

“Yeah, bro! Next time, we’ll keep better tabs on everyone!” 

“Stick the dunce on a leash.” 

“Don’t pretend you weren’t worried, bro.” 

Denki rubbed his head. “Wait...what happened?” 

“We lost you around, like, three o’clock.” Kirishima squatted, jutting a thumb towards the woods. Denki realised they were outside the ranger’s cabin, and off to the side were two rangers (one a dog, and the other a duck.) He swallowed. 

“Wait. Where did you guys find me?” 

“More like you found us and then passed out, or something.” Sero shrugged. “You were in your sleeping bag, by the campsite. We went back so we could get signal to call someone, and you were there, just chilling.” 

“Don’t you remember?” Mina cooed. 

“No. I remember...I was in…” Denki faltered. 

“Maybe you sleepwalked, then. It was pretty far off from where we realised we lost you.” Sero mused. Kirishima sighed, crossing his arms. 

“We’re lucky something worse didn’t happen, bro.” 

“Yeah…” Denki glanced to his left, seeing the campsite, before realising there was a series of plants leading up to his and Sero’s tent. They all were swaying softly, little white, star-shaped flowers that seemed to wave to him. Denki felt his heart race, mind running as he tuned out the others. He glanced around rapidly before looking back to the tree line. 

And there, a lone white wolf stared back with one white eye. 

She bowed her head, and the others fell silent. She had one paw extended, before turning quietly and slowly back into the heart of the forest. 

“What the hell was that?” Bakugou growled. Denki felt a flush rise to his cheeks, and he brought a hand up to his lips. The trees shuffled and whispered, as though they were saying goodbye, and the little white flowers followed the white wolf home. 

a/n: environmental activist denki environmental activist denki 

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolate Prince and The Lovely Maiden {Willy Wonka x Rose Bucket AU}

Chapter 5

A Girl and her (Secret) Fairy Godmothers

Tagging: @holdmeicant @frozenhuntress67 @pastelmoonwitche @arinnasweetslove​

Rose finally reached the sisters’ cottage. It was small, but it was very lovely home. There were a bunch of colorful flowers and oddly beautiful fungi that grew in the garden. It made Rose think of a fairy garden. Rose had heard stories about fairies. There was debate as to whether they existed or not. Some people say that they were small; some say that they’re the size of humans.

And then there were those that said that fairies born with an evil heart aren’t fairies at all. They were called witches. Rose had never seen a witch either, but she was sure they were real. Hell, she was positive that Avonmora was secretly a witch.

Rose and Honkers approached the front door. The clanging of various pots and pans could be heard coming from inside. “What in the world is going on in there?” Rose wondered out loud.

“It sounds like some kind of party in there” Honkers somehow thought. “How come we weren’t invited?”

Rose giggled at her goose friend. “I don’t think they’re having a party, Honkers. I’m thinking it may be chore day” She knocked on the door. Everything fell eerily silent and then a voice spoke.

“Who is it?” It was Fiona’s voice, the eldest of the three sisters.

“It’s Rose”

Suddenly, there was a loud crashing noise. And someone also made a shrieking noise. It sounded like Briona, the youngest sister. After a moment the door was opened by Liona, the middle sister. A smile graced upon her beautiful face. “Hello dear”

“Liona, is everything alright?” 

“Yes. Everything is fine” Liona said.

Rose peeked over her shoulder. There were a whole bunch of dishes, utensils, and pots and pans scattered all over the floor. “Really? Because it seems like you made quite the mess in here”

Briona popped up beside Liona. “It’s dish day for us! Our messiest cleaning day”

“Girls, step aside and let our Rose inside” Fiona said. The two sisters stepped aside, and Rose and Honkers entered the small home. “Hungry? We’ve made a few sandwiches”

“Please!” Rose took a seat at the table. “I’ve been cleaning all morning. I haven’t the time to make myself even a small meal”

Honkers hopped onto one of the other empty chairs. “Just bread crumbs for me. I’m looking a little puffy these days and it isn’t from my feathers”

Briona giggled at the goose. “You’re not puffy. You’re pleasantly fluffy” She placed a plate of bread crumbs in front of Honkers. “You’re adorable” Briona gushed over the goose. Honkers’ feathers puffed out. That was his version of blushing.

Fiona placed the sandwich in front of Rose. “What brings you by today?”

“A couple of things, actually” Rose began, pausing to take a bite out of her sandwich. “One, I was hoping to pick more cherries from your tree today”

Liona smiled. “You’re always welcome to, Rose! Remember, the cherries are fresh everyday”

“I’ve always wondered. What does make your cherries to fresh everyday?”

Fiona and Liona shared a look with each other. Then they looked Briona, ignoring the way her two sisters were staring, answered. “You could say it’s just a bit of gardening magic”

“Briona!” Fiona and Liona hissed.

“What!?” Briona asked, confused as to why her sisters said her name so condescendingly.

Fiona rolled her eyes and then smiled at Rose. “What is the other reason for you seeing us today?”

“I wanted to ask you all about something. Or rather, someone” Rose explained.

“This isn’t about Avonmora, is it?” Briona asked suddenly. Fiona and Liona gave her warning glares. “What?”

Rose became confused. “Is there something about her I should know?”

“No” Liona quickly answered. “We just don’t like to talk about her in this house. From what we hear from you, she’s a cruel woman”

Rose huffed. “You don’t know the half of it. Anyways, no this isn’t about her. This about a man I met this morning”

“You met a man?” Fiona grinned. “Is he handsome? Was it love at first sight?”

Rose snorted. “Love? No way! That man has an ego so big, the only person he could ever truly love is himself”

Briona’s face scrunched in confusion. “Well, that doesn’t sound anything like Pri-” The pink haired sister shrieked when Liona smacked her in the back of the head. “Li! Why!?”

“You talk too much sometimes, Bri” Liona sneered at her younger sister.

“Oh” Briona muttered, now realizing what she was doing.

Fiona sighed, and then pressed Rose for more information about this mysterious man. “Tell us all about him”

“Well, like I said, I only met him this morning” Rose disclaimed. The sisters all leaned in with interest as to what Rose had to say. “His name is Harry. But, just from our brief meeting, I already feel like I know everything I need to about him. He cornered me in the garden, backing me up against the wall. He said that he had been admiring me for quite some time. He gave me a gardenia, I told him that they weren’t my favorite, and now he’s going to bring me a different flower everyday until he brings me my favorite”

“And what happens when he does bring you your favorite flower?” Fiona asked.

“He said that I owe him a romantic stroll”

The three sisters exchanged looks. This poor girl. As if having to deal with her step-mother wasn’t bad enough, now she’s gained the unwanted attention of a man who doesn’t seem to understand the word no. “Sweetheart,” Liona spoke up. “You know you don’t owe that man anything, right?”

“I know” Rose sighed. “I just fear the continuous pestering I am to receive from him”

“Well, hopefully he learns to back off” Briona spoke up. “Because, he isn’t the one you’re destined to be with anyways”

Rose furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

Fiona gave a stone cold glare in Briona’s direction. “Yes, what do you mean, Briona?”

Briona, realizing she had said too much again, nervously giggled. “Oops. There I go again. Uttering complete nonsense”

Rose shook her head, ignoring what Briona just did. Having finished her sandwich, Rose stood up, grabbing her basket. “I’m off to the cherry tree” She announced. “Thank you for the sandwich. Come on, Honkers”

Honk! “But I want to hear more of Briona’s nonsense” Honkers said as he hopped off the chair.

“You just want to stay because you think she’s pretty” 

“What? No!” Honkers quickly denied as he followed Rose out the door.

As soon as Rose was out the door, Fiona whipped out her wand. With a flick of her wrist, the mess on the floor was quickly cleaned up. “Briona, you need to be more careful about what you say in front of Rose” Fiona chastised.

“Otherwise we’ll have to put a zipping spell on your mouth” Liona added.

“I’m sorry, sissys” Briona apologized. “I don’t mean to”

“We know” Fiona said. “We’ve managed to keep the secret from Rose for this long. We just need to hold out a little longer”

“And how much is a little longer going to be?” Briona complained like she was a young child.

This time, Liona pulled out her wand. She pointed it at the table. Glittery magic came out of the end of it, and conjured up a large piece of parchment. “According to my prophecy, Rose and the Prince should be meeting very soon”

Liona was what was known as a psychic fairy. She had the ability to see the future and all it’s possible outcomes. Fiona was an alchemy fairy. She was very skilled in making all kinds of potions and tonics. Then, Briona was a garden fairy. Her magic specialty was with wildlife and plants. In fact, she had been the one to enchant the cherry tree that Rose was so fond of. Briona could also interact with animals and give them the ability to speak.

“Does this prophecy of yours include this Harry idiot?” 

Liona skimmed through the parchment. “Hmm. I see his name here. But not much is said about him” Sometimes, Liona wasn’t able to tell the whole future. Some things only became clear the closer the event would come. 

“And Avonmora,” Fiona piped in. “Anything about her?”

Liona took another look. “Fortunately, no, but I suppose that could also be a bad thing. Dark magic is unpredictable. I wouldn’t be surprised if she interfered with the parchment somehow”

Yes, Avonmora was a witch and the three fairies were very aware of that fact. The reason the fairies chose to live in the forest was to keep tabs on Avonmora. But, they knew that they couldn’t keep their own eyes on her at all times. So, enter Honkers the goose.

“Not only do we have our evil sister to worry about,” Briona started. Ah yes, Avonmora was related to the three fairies. Avonmora was the bad apple of the family, cursed with an evil heart. “But now Harry? What if he tries a love potion on Rose or something?”

“That is not going to happen” Fiona assured. “And we’ll make sure of that”

Liona nodded. “It is destined for Rose and the Prince to meet. It is destined for them to fall in love. That is what fate lies in store. And no matter what happens, no matter what Avonmora or Harry do, they cannot change fate” 

Liona took another look at the future telling parchment. “And, it is also fate that the Prince will finally slay that witch once and for all, with the help of a mighty huntress, and a young boy. Then, everything that once was, will be restored”

[innytoes]

Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude.  “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank  faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.”  She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Heal Me - Kujo Jotaro x Fem!Reader

"You know...I kinda have a bad feeling about this place...But I don't quite know why." I mutter softly as I grip Jotaro's sleeve for some reassurance. "Nothing bad's gonna happen. We just defeated the last Stand User, it will be a while until the next one appears." he explained, sure of himself. "I hope you're right...But Nami's getting restless too. I don't know...Maybe we should group up with the others, don't you think?" I suggested, but he merely shook his head. "This is our task, we can't fail it. Besides, there's no enemy I can't beat, so stay calm." Jotaro's voice was on the border of calm and annoyed, so I decided to shut up for now, despite the electrifying anxiety surging through my veins. 

We continued walking through the desert, only the two of us, until my Stand's ears picked up a fast-moving threat moving towards us, which Jotaro didn't pick up.

"Jotaro, look out!" I scream as I made Nami push him out of the way, and the next thing I know, I'm sent flying meters away from the one I was paired up with. "Katrina!" his voice called out, as I struggled to get up, feeling sore all over. "Tsk...To think you'd pick up that I was here, despite my speed...How annoying!" an unfamiliar voice, the one of the enemy, roared in rage. "Be careful, Jotaro! He's dangerous!" I warned the boy as I rushed to his side, all while healing my injuries. "Yeah, I can see." he grunted, glaring at the smug man in front of him. "What do you want with us? Are you one of Dio's minions?" Jotaro asked, to find out the motives of this villains. "Well, of course I am! Dio is the reason I'm alive, and I live now only to serve him! And what Lord Dio wants the most is to get rid of the Joestar line! And what a pleasant surprise it is to find you, Jotaro! You will have the honour of being the first to die, and by my own hands, nonetheless!" the enemy laughed maniacally, while Jotaro could only grit his teeth in annoyance at the patronising tone he was receiving. "Yare Yare Daze...Can't get a time off..." he sighed as he got Star Platinum out and started throwing punches at the villain's enemy Stand, that stood in front of the man like a shield "Ora Ora Ora Ora Ora!" his battle cry echoed on repeat, but by the time he stopped, we looked at the enemy, who had a gaping hole in his stomach...But the instant Jotaro stopped attacking, his abdomen regenerated rapidly, making the both of us gasp. "What, you thought I'd come here with a stupidly weak Stand that you could beat with your "Ora Ora"s? No, Jotaro, not a chance! Your Stand can't beat me, David Alhambra!" the enemy's laugh became even more condescending and irritating, making Jotaro try to punch him again, but to no avail, for he'd just regenerate again and again. "Hey...Mr. Alhambra...I'm sorry to ask such a weird question, but...Do you know any bit of Biology?" my shy voice spoke up for the first time in a long time. "Huuuuuh? You? You're speaking to me? A little worm like you? Useless? Who hasn't helped the party at all the whole journey? You, little girl, are just a burden for them, and yet, you dare speak to ME?!" his yelling was so creepy that it made me flinch and tremble slightly, but I stood my ground "So, you mean to say that you know nothing about Biology, am I right?" I ask once again, my voice firmer. "Tsk...Well, if you're that curious, I am rather knowledgeable in the Reproduction System, if you're interested. You're not that bad looking...But until then, I have to kill someone. Hear that, Jotaro? I'm gonna steal your pretty little girlfriend and have my way with her. Bet I can show her how a man can make her feel...Unlike you, Jotaro!" the enemy smirked creepily as he cast a glance towards me. "Yeaahhhh...I have a better idea..." I mutter as I prepare myself for the worst. Jotaro went to attack David once again, very irritated for having disrespected me, but as before, he couldn't do much damage. “Can't you see it's futile? Jotaro, stop trying, and I'll give you a painless death!" Alhambra yelled, and as he readied himself to throw a punch towards Jotaro, I rushed in front of him, parrying the punch with my crossed arms, slamming into Jotaro's chest. "Jotaro...Please let me handle this. Mr.Alhambra, I will be your opponent." I rub my forearm slightly, before stepping towards him. "Katrina...!" Jotaro's voice called out, but I merely shook my head. "Do you trust me, Jotaro?" I ask, turning my head slightly, making eye contact for a little while, something I've never been able to do before. "...Yare Yare Daze. Very well, I'll wait here." he tipped the front of his hat, and that's how I knew he fully believed in me. "You know...Whenever you'd say that, I'd automatically feel at ease, because I knew you had everything under control. Thank you for believing in me. I won't disappoint you." I smiled softly at him, before turning my gaze to the enemy. "You know...I always hated fighting women...Y'all are so weak and whiny...But fine, be that way. Maybe you want to make sure I'm a man worth it. Very well, prepare yourself." he laughed once again, as I jumped out of the way so our fight wouldn't get anywhere near Jotaro.

From then on, I let out my Stand, Nami, and touching our hands together, we fuse, letting her powers go through me, droplets of water floating around, despite the never-ending desert surrounding us. I rushed forward, ready to strike, and I kept punching his stomach over and over again, but he wouldn't budge... And he was laughing. "Your punches tickle me, woman. What are you trying to do? Tickle me to death? Come on, I want a real challenge, not a cat fight!" his voice roared with anger all of a sudden, and all of a sudden, I find myself flying once again, a kick on the stomach sending me far away. 

My breath was taken away, and I was struggling to find oxygen, all whilst coughing blood and clutching my stomach, barely able to get up.

"What is it, little girl? Need Daddy to help you up?" he mocked me, prowling towards me like a predator towards his prey. "Maybe it will be you who needs help getting up soon..." I mutter as I finally managed to get up and stay in a fight-stand. 

It was difficult fighting through the aching pain that was burning my muscles, but I lunged myself towards him, punching the same spot once again,counting the number of times I was able to touch him, which really seemed to annoy him, for he punched my face this time, making me fall to the ground once again. 

"Honestly, is this what you want to do? Piss me off? Now you're all messed up and ugly! How lame!" he groaned, kicking my ribs harshly. "Come on, get up! Get up! You really piss me off, woman! I HATE weaklings!" David screamed once again, kicking me repeatedly to the ground, before he turned around harshly, striding towards Jotaro. "Heh...This is fun..." I cough, seeing the blood all over the sand around me, as I struggled to get up. "Huuuh? You're still getting up?" he sneered at me, but I could only smirk in amusement. "My plan is almost done...I just need...1 more..." I coughed up a bit, before channeling my powers to rush in front of Jotaro, as the enemy was going to attack him. 

I was drained of all physical power, not exactly used to fighting with my own body, but it had to be done- The last punch I managed to land on his stomach was more of a soft touch, as my energy was drained, but I was able to say one last thing, as I looked up at him with a bloody smirk. 

 "50."

"Huuuuuh? 50? What the hell is that about? What, you're happy you managed to touch me so much, or what?" he was so angry...So so very angry...But he had no way of defeating me anymore. "Remember when I asked if you knew Biology? Well, if you didn't know, cells have this ability to regenerate for a set number of times, before they stop doing that altogether. Your Stand is able to regenerate your wounds faster, but you aren't Dio, a Vampire, so your cells are still human. Basically, your cells can regenerate 50 times at a time only before they die. It's called a set death." I chuckled condescendingly as I raise my gaze towards him, panting for air. "Yeah, I know that, so what?!" he roared at me, but I stood my ground. "You say my powers are useless in a fight...Well, I suppose that's true, to some extent, but my power is basically a healing water type...And it accelerates mitotic cellular regeneration. Which, if you didn't realise that by now, I touched you 50 times in the same spot so you will stop regenerating that place. Pretty smart, don't you think?" I smirked, as David got so angry. "WHAT THE HELL, WOMAN, ARE YOU INSANE?! YOU BITCH, YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME WITH SOME CHEAP TRICKS LIKE THAT?! I'LL FUCKING CRUSH YOU!!" he jumped to lunge at me, but I stepped forward, leaning backwards dramatically, as I created two big water serpents from my hands that sprung through his stomach, impaling him. "Heh...Well, I guess I kinda lied. I wouldn't come here unless I was able to fight. I would feel bad if I were to drag these guys down, you know? But hey, you'll die now, so guess what, you got defeated by your own ego. Toodles!" I chuckled as I let the water disappear, as he fell down on the sand, lifeless. I slowly walked towards him, checking for a pulse, and when I found none, I got up and went next to Jotaro, smiling softly. "Well...I guess this was a bit messies than I hoped for, but it did the trick, right?" I let out an amused breath, as he shook his head. "Yare Yare Daze...You really are something...Come here." he sighed, taking out a napkin from his pocket, and putting a hand on my face, while he wiped the blood from my face with the other. "Thank you, Jotaro. You really are the best." I give him a close-eyed smile, putting my hand over his, but the thing that shocked me most was...A kiss on my forehead, which made me snap my eyes open in shock, my cheeks getting gradually rosy. "Let's get you fixed up, you've done more than enough for today. Well done, Kat. Thank you." Jotaro said simply as he picked me up bridal style, which made me feel so shy all of a sudden. "Y-You don't have to...! I-I can walk a-and I can heal myself, d-don't worry about me!" I stuttered, hiding my face with my hands. His only response was a soft chuckle, and knowing I couldn't argue, I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, feeling at ease with him near me. 

It didn't take long for us to get back to the hotel, and reaching my room, he puts me gently on the bed, taking the first aid kit.

"Come on...That's unnecessary. It'll be much faster and efficient my way." I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. "Honestly...Can't I get an excuse to stay around you?" he flicked me on the forehead, with the ghost of a smile plastered on his face. "You don't need an excuse. You can hang around me with no reason at all, and it will still be enjoyable. I-I mean, not that I'm trying to sound patronising or anything!" I freak out slightly, realising how bad it sounded, but his response was...Shocking. I felt his rough hands on my face drawing me closer, as he shut me up with a gentle kiss. "You talk too much" he muttered, his gaze shifting slightly to the size, as his pale cheeks got a shade pinker. "And you talk too little." I smiled softly, looking down at my lap, before making eye contact with him. When we got past the original shyness, we lay in bed, his arm wrapped around me, as my head leaned on his chest, and I could finally relax after such a long day. And feeling Jotaro's warmth and his heart's rhythmic beating made me feel so at ease that I didn't realise when I fell asleep in him embrace. 

[project-ohagi]

Keigo Takami ღ Hawks x Reader {Greek Mythology AU}

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Being celebrated as the town's best blacksmith and master-craftsman, you had many opportunities to provide exquisite items for the royal household. You lived within the boundaries of King Enji Todoroki's castle, and you knew the inhabitants quite well. Their splendid, sharp and practical weapons were fashioned in your very forge, and seeing the guards carrying them down the labyrinthine hallways of the castle filled you with a sense of pride. The furniture, often wooden and antique, with exotic designs that no other craftsman in the realm could ever replicate, received compliments not only from the king's subjects, but the foreign ambassadors, who proceeded to inform their employers of the magnificent works. You had big dreams and a means to achieve them.

You wandered the corridors of the castle, glancing at the hand-brewed lanterns littering the walls, illuminating the red and brown bricks. Their flames flickered like the tongues of dragons - a reliable source had once told you that the king himself reared these beautiful, dangerous beasts, although you had never seen them personally. The claim went invalidated, but your songbird was a lovely girl, very gentle and trustworthy. She possessed a meagre level of magic, which impressed you to no end. She slurred potions around and carried leaves of fern and belladonna wherever she travelled. Her companions were extraordinary, as well, and you often saw them as they graced the grasses of your small town. There was a boy with stunning verdant hair and a penchant for crying, plus a knight from the land controlled by King Toshinori Yagi. He had always been lax with the laws, and there was barely ever any crime, so the castle wouldn't suffer from having one less guard.

A pleasant humming sound drifted from your lips, echoing along the walls, making it seem as though someone was tailing you. Your (e/c) eyes fluttered shut as you allowed the crackling of the small flames to guide you safely on the path. Through the flesh of your eyelids, you could see the faint glow of fire beginning to dwindle. Ceasing any movement, you cracked open both eyes and resolved to find the problem. These lanterns had been imbued with the Eternal Flame, so it was (supposedly) unheard of for them to die out. It wasn't just one, either - as your gaze lingered on the husks of your lanterns, you noticed their light slowly diminishing, until all that remained was darkness.

You shivered, the lack of warmth enabling a frigid breeze to waft over you, like a bad dream.

"Whoa, who burned out all the lanterns?" A voice called, cheery amidst the dire circumstances.

That wasn't the only issue, however. This was a strange sound, a foreign one, and you knew all the sounds of this castle. You could pick people and objects apart by noise alone, and yet this was a trial your ears could not overcome. Another thing - you hadn't even realised there was someone else in the corridor with you. The earlier humming was a sound you only made when absolutely comfortable, usually while tinkering in your little shop. You were at home around the lanterns you had manufactured yourself. Yet, they died out. Every. Last. One. You didn't design things to fail. That was the first rule of the trade, and until now, you had sworn by it.

You decided to try this stranger. "I'm not quite sure. They weren't supposed to do that, and no-one else was here."

"Well then," His bones made a clicking sound, as if he was stretching. "It must have been you, or me, but I guess we'll never know."

The arrogance lacing his tone did tick you off slightly, but you had to sigh at his words. "Impossible." You muttered, almost condescendingly.

"I was specifically entrusted to fashion lanterns that would never die."

Your last sentence was likely whispered, but it still reached your accomplice's ears. Probably because he had elected to stand right behind you, which startled you out of your skin when he started talking again. Apparently, he was the king's jester or some other such nonsense. He must have been - no other sane person would dare disrespect the greatest figures of modern times (you thought quite highly of yourself, if that's not already evident).

Whistling, he asked, "Wooow, you made these? No wonder they burned out so fast. What did you make them out of? Wood and wax?"

You huffed indignantly, trying not to rise to his taunts. "It's impossible that they all went out. One or two, perhaps I could find fault in, but all of them? What magic is this?"

"The black kind?" The stranger offered, unhelpfully. "Don't get me wrong, they looked nice - so do you, by the way - but maybe you're not as great as you think, princess."

You searched for him in the dark, but that turned up nothing. "Please don't call me that. My name is (Y/n) (L/n). I'm the town's main blacksmith and craftsman - I know what I'm doing, and if I say this isn't normal, I would like to be believed. What is your name, anyway? I don't feel like calling you 'stranger' forever."

There was a pause and a near-incoherent sound, the he spoke. "I go by Hawks, beautiful, and you didn't call me 'stranger', unless you were thinking about me? Aww, I wonder why I haven't seen you before?"

You sighed. "Honestly, I'm not sure you can see me now."

"Haha, you're right! Well, gotta find some light, I suppose. Which way to safety...?" You heard his light footfalls, followed by a muffled cry.

"That would be the wall." You muttered, astounded by the apparent stupidity of this man.

He said nothing, but continued onwards. After a few moments, a warm hand moved to cradle yours, and he pulled you alongside him. You wanted to protest, but decided against it. You would get nowhere with trivial arguments. The corridor twisted and turned, and you suddenly remembered that one section leading off from it was restricted, but you wouldn't be able to see it in complete darkness. This did worry you slightly, but instead of vocalising your discomfort, you just squeezed Hawks' hand tighter. With him as delegated leader, he bumped into a few more walls on the way out. It seemed that, like you, he hadn't been expecting the lanterns to burn out as easily as they did. When you appeared to have reached a crossroads, he stopped. It was so abrupt that you actually slammed into his back. Trickles of hair brushed against your forehead, and you realised that you were probably just a fraction taller than him. At least this gave you one advantage. He could have his jokes and flirtatious words, but you had your trade and your height.

"Ahh..." He chuckled, a tone of uncertainty present in his voice.

"What's going on? Why did you stop?" You questioned, getting kind of annoyed with this guy.

He glanced around, but saw nothing, obviously. "I might have gone the wrong way?"

"You what?!" You yelled. "We have no light source, and now no sense of direction? Oh, more black magic..."

"It'll probably be fine." He responded, once more sounding as though he commanded some divine wisdom.

His one free hand traced the wall, and just as you were pondering whether to give him two free hands, a noise of acknowledgement erupted from his throat. You supposed that meant he knew where you were, but could he really tell from touch alone? It was likely a ploy, although it did something to calm your throbbing heart. He re-established his pace, dragging you in tow. He made a degree of small talk along the way, but it was drowned out by all the thoughts swimming in your head. His palm was dangerously hot, like an oven, yet you were finding it impossible to let go. It was the kind of heat source your body craved, although you weren't entirely sure why.

Suddenly, an ear-splitting screech began to resonate like a gong, and before you had chance to ask what the hell was happening, you were tugged through the wooden frame of a door. It closed as soon as you stepped into the bright, blinding light. After all that darkness, this seemed like Hell. At least for the first few minutes. Once your eyes managed to adjust, you peered through heavy eyelids, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man calling himself 'Hawks'.

He was absolutely gorgeous.

Those tussles of hair that had previously ghosted your forehead turned out to be feathery and ash-blonde in colour. A small amount of stubble hung from his chin, and as he yawned, you saw perfect, snowy-white teeth. When he noticed the starstruck expression on your face, he grinned, the corners of his lips moving upwards. You blushed - even his cocky smile was breath-taking. He had the most awe-inspiring, chocolate-brown eyes, that twinkled in the glinting candlelight. His fluffy eyebrows made your heart weep, and the formation of those black triangles below his tear ducts reminded you of a bird. His peasant clothes were nothing to write home about, but the way he wore them certainly was. He somehow made them look more appealing and seductive than they should have been, yet you couldn't put a finger on the reason. An onyx, stud-shaped earring adorned both ears. He must have been a similar age to you - around 22 - and you wondered if he would consent to court someone so soon after meeting them. Despite his frankly irritating nature, he made your heart sing, and you instantly knew that you needed to be with him.

"Too hot for you, princess?" He smirked, arrogantly.

You flushed. "S-Sort of."

Adding moisture to his lips, he retorted, "Well, you're pretty sexy yourself, Miss."

After this comment, you immediately retracted your gaze, opting to look around the room instead. "W-Where are we, anyway?" You asked, a little confused.

"My bedchambers." He replied, laughing at your face, which was now stained red.

"W-Why am I here??"

He shrugged. "You followed me, dollface."

"You dragged me!"

--

In a district far removed from the prying eyes of royal sentries, a hoard of villainous men and women alike resided. Their sanctuary had been built in haste, as their ancestors needed a safeguard, away from anyone who might wish to hurt them. Those people, namely the kings Enji Todoroki and Toshinori Yagi, were fierce yet kind rulers, protecting their realms while simultaneously warding away the evil that lurked around the bend. Although their relationship was strained, the kings banded together for the greater good, and finally succeeded in expelling the tyrants. However, nothing was ever so simple - spies had been recruited and placed around the perimeter of the realms. They often caught wind of conspiracies, and would venture into the twisting labyrinth of a wasteland where they were never supposed to find. The mice frequently managed safe journeys, but the grand dictator, All For One, had abilities that far exceeded those of any normal human; he could hear their footsteps, smell their shallow breaths, feel those tell-tale vibrations in the air. There was never any privacy in his castle, and certainly no safety.

If he sought after your head, he would receive it. However, unlike what the rumours suggested, he never abused this power, instead deciding to reserve it for the serious threats. There was no point waging war against the kings without sufficient battle tactics, and All For One remained wounded from his encounter with the stronger of the two: King Toshinori Yagi.

"What shall we do with him, master?" A raspy voice called out, partially muffled by the detachable hand covering his face.

The large, shadowy figure he addressed reclined in his throne, looking upwards and intertwining his fingers, as if contemplating the question. This was all pretence - he had already begun putting the plan in motion, after all. To ease his pupil's mind, he replied, "Bring him in. Question him. Torture him if you have to. If he has valuable information, let him live. If he refuses to speak in three days' time, execute him."

"As you wish."

Messy blue hair whipped in all directions as he signalled for a few of the people in the room. They followed his lead, heading out of the double doors and down the nearest hallway. With him, there walked a tall, lean individual with an ebony mane and oddly-symmetrical burn marks, the skin purple and wrinkling. It was held together crudely by metal hoop piercings. Beside him, a smartly-dressed man with wisps of purple and black mist in place of a body, and a young, blonde girl with a Cheshire-Cat grin. These were apparently the people for the job. In this world of tricks and magic, these four were the ringmasters, controlling the rest of the troupe with strings of steel.

"Who do we get to kill this time??" The girl asked, almost drooling in anticipation of the hunt.

"You heard what master said." Came the agitated response. "We capture him and try to get what we need. If he manages to stay sane for three days, then you can have your fun."

The patchwork zombie spoke next. "How are we doing this, then? We can't storm Enji Todoroki's castle."

As his words echoed around the walls, a swirling vortex appeared, growing bigger and bigger until it could allow for all four to plunge into the blackness. Two, however, were commanded to hold back - the girl and the man with purple patches of flesh. The warp gate closed as soon as the others stepped through.

The hunters were on the prowl.

--

"Ah...don't be shy. Admit it - you wanted to spend the night with me." Hawks gifted you a wink, both flirtatious and amused.

He must have been savouring your embarrassment. "I can't admit what isn't true." You glanced towards one of the massive, stained-glass windows lining the nearby wall. Although it was difficult to see, you determined that it was indeed night-time. How had you spent so long in the castle? You could have sworn it was early afternoon when you arrived, and you shouldn't have been there for more than a few hours. Your detour with this cocksure fairy didn't feel as though it had taken any more than half an hour. Perhaps that was just because your brain was preoccupied, enjoying the company it was in. "I should leave now. It's late, and my shop needs guarding."

"Haven't you fashioned some defence system? Surely (Y/n) (L/n), the oh-so-talented master-craftsman would be prepared for everything?" He taunted, clearly trying to back you into a corner.

"I'm afraid I can entertain you no longer, jester. I need to leave. Something strange is happening - can't you sense it? Those lanterns were my inventions, and I need to figure out why they died." Turning on your heel, you began to walk away from the blonde-locked man and his mahogany door.

However, his laugh stopped you in your tracks. "I guess I do act like a jester, don't I?"

Mysteriously, like smoke, his voice soon trailed off. You couldn't even begin to comprehend how such a flashy, boisterous person would all of a sudden go completely quiet. It wasn't just that - you couldn't hear anything but the ear-splitting silence, like static running through your veins. The walls weren't moaning, the floor wasn't creaking, and nobody seemed to be breathing. There were no sounds. None at all. It was as if Hawks, along with the very castle, knew something you didn't, but their lips were sewn shut. You wondered if the walls would collapse around you, burying you alive, or maybe the ghosts of Enji Todoroki's victims would seek revenge, but instead attach themselves to and haunt you until the end of your days.

"What-" You tried to break the ice that had settled like stalactites on the ceiling, but felt as though a veil was slowly being wrapped around your neck, preventing any more words from reaching the surface.

Suddenly, hands as warm as a furnace grasped your ice-cold ones and dragged you through the door. When you looked at him, you saw that his face held a serious expression. He definitely knew something - something bad. You wanted to ask, but couldn't quite find the words to do so. Stepping through the door felt weird, as if your feet weren't touching wood, but rather something less material. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, opting to trust the man you had only recently met. After a few seconds, he tumbled on to a hard surface and, still being hand-in-hand, your body crashed into his. His head slammed into the brick, eliciting a faint, pained noise. Truth be told, he was in a lot of pain, but he didn't want you to have any anxieties about the situation, so he refrained from screaming. That was so much worse than stubbing your toe.

"You were surprisingly easy to catch, despite your profession. I did not expect you to have an accomplice, however. She could prove to be troublesome." The voice resonated in your ears painfully, like white noise.

"She's not an accomplice. I met her about two minutes ago - she looked lost, so I was just pointing her in the right direction." Hawks drew out the lie, allowing more time to think of an escape.

Whoever else was out there laughed. "We have orders, Hawks. You have been flying too close to the sun for a long time, and now it is your time to fall."

"So, what's the plan?" Hawks breathed, sparing a side-glance at your trembling figure. "Are you gonna put me in chains, lock me in the dungeons? You do have dungeons, right? I mean, this place is massive, and pretty much a castle."

"This place," The voice began. "Is a labyrinth."

You tugged at Hawks' sleeve. "What are you doing? Are you trying to get us killed??" You whisper-yelled, both furious with and concerned for the man.

"Out of tricks? That's such a shame. To answer your question: we will lock you in one of the many chambers within this labyrinth. There are so many corridors, that even if you were to escape from your cell, you would never reach the surface."

The air swirled in front of you, a mixture of black and purple. Two legs protruded from within, followed closely by a slim body, clad in a suit. Behind this imposing figure, another man stepped out of the darkness. He was dressed far lighter than the former, in only an onyx shirt, baggy trousers and slip-on shoes. You didn't recognise either of these men, given that you mostly stayed in your small town, never straying further than the treeline of the surrounding forest. Despite this, it was easy to reckon that they were the rumoured tyrants. At least, two of them. That thought made your hair stand on end, as though it had been exposed to a great deal of static electricity - what if there were more, hiding in the black void, ready to pounce at any moment? As if sensing your fear, one of the men (the one who seemed as if he might tend to a bar in his off-time), turned to address you.

"Miss, if you comply, then nothing shall be done to cause you harm." His tone was polite, but by that time, you had already chosen your side. You would remain with the person who had stolen your heart in a matter of minutes, with his witty, mischievous nature, and how he laughed in the face of danger, just to keep you safe.

So, although it might have been reason enough for your head to roll, you showed a level of defiance that they weren't expecting. The other man, whose voice was a lot more sickening, muttered something you couldn't hear, scratching his neck as he did so. His partner in crime seemed to sigh (though, with him having no discernible mouth, it was hard to tell), but elected against opposing his superior. The orders had already been given, after all, and any accomplice of the target must suffer the same, horrendous fate as him. You never knew what such seemingly innocent people could be hiding. Before he was grabbed, Hawks made an attempt to snare one of the stray knifes littered on the ground. His enemies noticed the plot, however, and ensured it wasn't followed through. A set of calloused hands gripped your neck and waist, hoisting you up on to your feet. You lashed out, but the hand around your neck clamped down harder, making you choke. You were gradually running out of oxygen. Soon, you couldn't handle the strain of fighting, and your body went limp, slumping against the blue-haired man. It was uncomfortable, but your vision was dimming, just like your lanterns back in the castle of Enji Todoroki. Just before you blacked out, you made the connection - they had been responsible for your burnt-out lights.

--

A spellbinding sight awaited your tired eyes - the walls were covered in ancient carvings, spiral-designs and other such patterns. You, alongside your companion, were confined in a large room, with no obvious doors or windows. You attempted to move, and although you had no bindings, your muscles were stiff. Almost immediately, your mind went into overdrive, trying to work out a viable escape plan. You could always create something to break through the wall, but you weren't sure how deep the labyrinth ran, and it seemed appropriate to assume that you would be easily captured. Raising a hand to your mouth, you began muttering to yourself, slowly piecing together a picture of what you were going to do. You needed to be extremely careful, as there were two lives on the line. If you were discovered mid-escape, it was likely that you would be executed, since you doubted Hawks had the skills required to take flight.

"...Flight! That's it!" You silently praised your ingenuity, glancing around to see if there was anything that could be of use. "Alright...I need the framework, and then something to hold them together. The shape needs to be perfect, for the air to pass over..."

Whilst in the midst of your mutterings, Hawks awoke and contemplated his situation. Then, he noticed you had been shoved into the same cell as him. An unfamiliar feeling welled up inside his chest, tugging at his heartstrings. It was a concoction of guilt, dread, love and sadness. You appeared to be working on something, kneeling in the dirt and presiding over your art. He stood with much effort, and he thought for a moment that his legs might have been broken. He managed to hobble over to where you were stationed, giving him a better view of whatever you were trying so desperately to complete. Your hands were moving rapidly, not letting him concentrate for very long. One minute, they just looked like smashed pieces of wood, but the next, they had a proper form.

"They'd be great if we could actually get out. Did you think about that, princess?" He had been in the labyrinth before, and knew just how tricky it was to navigate - it was meant to gradually drain your sanity, and make you compliant. If that didn't work, there was always good old-fashioned torture.

You responded after a few beats of silence. "You can do something about that, then. We'll need quite a large hole, or else these things won't get through."

Hawks smirked. "You're trying to get out? Bold of you to assume you can."

"Bold of you to suggest I can't." You countered, adding the finishing touches to your work. "Okay, now listen carefully - I managed to sculpt these out of scraps of wood, and I melted the wax from those candles." You pointed to them. "They will hold long enough to get us back to the realm of Enji Todoroki, but you cannot, under any circumstance, get caught in the heat of the sun. If you do, not only will you have wasted one of my creations, but you will plummet to your death. do you understand?"

There was a mischievous glint in his chocolate orbs. "You'd make a good gypsy, y'know."

You masked your smile behind irritation. "Do you understand?"

"Oh, completely. I just have to stay away from the sun, right?" He nodded.

"Correct." You released a breath you didn't know you had been holding; this man was going to be the death of you. A speck of silver flashed in your peripheral vision, and you directed your gaze accordingly. "Why would someone leave a hammer...?" You mumbled, confused.

Hawks hummed, then looked towards the object. "Well, seems like you've found our way out."

Stepping forwards without hesitation, he picked it up and did an initial, experimental swing. It collided with the wall of the labyrinth, severing the carvings and creating a small dent. His lips twitched upwards, and he held the hammer more firmly in his hands. He swung it again and again, shattering the wall almost entirely. To your surprise, it gave way to blinding sunlight and lush green land. Your mouth fell agape - both of you had been anticipating another layer of the winding entanglement. Nodding once to yourself, you handed a pair of wooden wings over to your accomplice, reminding him of your prior warning. Clasping your own tightly on to your person, you stood on the edge, looking down. You heard an awkward gulp from beside you - Hawks must have been nervous. Just before you were about to soar to freedom, a portal, black and purple, fissured a section of previously untouched wall. Two figures began marching into the frame.

You didn't give Hawks any time to think. With a hand on the wings, you propelled him forwards. You jumped out of the labyrinth after a few seconds, tailing closely behind Hawks, who was flapping his newly-acquired wings rather awkwardly. Although you detested the idea, you spared a brief glance back to your prison, seeing those two men standing among the ashes of the wall. Their faces displayed not anger, as you expected, but glee. Disturbed, you averted your eyes. They would not silence you. The people of your town would indeed hear your voice again, purchase your goods and request specific items. You would not be trapped.

Never again.

"Hawks, are you doing okay? Remember you need to move them yourself - just like a bird." You called, swooping past the blonde-haired man. An ecstasy-streaked expression had appeared on his face. You had to smile at this.

"This feels amazing! Damn, you really are good at making things. When we get back, could you jazz these up a bit for me?" He glided in the air, riding the wind, the breeze fluffing up his hair.

Below, a vast expanse of sea stretched out, going for miles and miles. You wanted to fly down, gently touching the surface with your feet, and making it look as though you were walking on water. Your eyelids flickered shut as you relished in Gaia's soft breaths. The clouds slowly ghosted past you. By the time you opened your eyes, it was far too late. Savouring the sweet taste of fresh air, like a starved child, Hawks had been consumed by a false sense of security. He neglected to recall your warning. The bright rays of the sun beamed down on his figure, washing an unpleasant heat over him. The wax which held his wooden wings together began to drip, raining down on the surface of the ocean like snowflakes. Soon, fractures started to show in the wood. You wanted to scream at him for being so idiotic. Instead, you dove towards the falling form. You missed by a millisecond. Speed was quickly becoming an issue, but you continued descending, reaching out a hand in the hopes that he would grab it. His arms and legs were flailing, and he couldn't seem to stay still for long enough. The water was luring him closer and closer.

In one last ditch effort, you howled out his name. "Hawks!"

His body met the blue liquid, and he was dragged down further, as if compelled by a magnet.

You caressed the water, watching and waiting for any sign of him. Tears were clouding your vision, cascading down your cheeks and eventually dripping down, into the sea. You didn't know if they would ever reach him, but you whispered a few words, distorted by sobs.

"...I warned you..."

[Word Count: 4779]

[strangerthingsbaby]

Busted (Jim Hopper x OC)

Summary: Emma didn’t like Chief Hopper. She was tired of him always busting her weekend after weekend, no matter how sneaky she thought she was being. She was tired of him singling her out, and even if he busted a huge party, he’d still only stick her in his police truck. Hopper was tired of dealing with a defiant girl weekend after weekend. He was tired of her idiotic mentality that she was indestructible. And he was really, really tired of always finding her in places that were crawling with grimy boys. (Emma is in the same grade as Billy and Steve, so I imagine her as being 19).

Warnings: smut! size kink, age gap, jealousy, rough sex, choking, oral sex (fr), CMNF

Word Count: 4.7k

“Cops!” Emma heard the first fateful scream of the party. It was destined to get busted, a party thrown at Steve Harrington’s, but she didn’t care. She wanted to have a good night. She barely cared about anything but having a good time at this point.

“Shit, shit, shit-” Emma ran towards the back door. She felt an arm grab her before she could exit, though. Whipping her body around, she let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Steve. “Jesus, Harrington! I thought you were-”

“Hopper? Yeah, he’s outside.” Steve cut her off. Emma wasn’t sure what her stance on Steve was. They weren’t close friends, but he knew of her troubles with the Chief. Practically everyone did. “I was hoping you could talk to him.”

“What? Me?” She asks. He nods. “Why the hell would that be a good idea?”

“Well, you know him better than anyone here, and if they tell my dad about this I’m screwed.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, and if he even finds out I’m here he’s going to tear this entire home apart until he finds me, so your safest bet is to let me leave.” She ranted, speaking bitterly about the man who she saw as an absolute killjoy.

As he was talking to her, two cops burst into the home. Emma immediately recognized Callahan as one of them and her eyes widened. “I need to go.” She told Steve before running out the back door.

She didn’t get very far before she slammed face first into something- or someone. She groaned in pain, stepping back. She didn’t need to look up to see who it was, her being eye-level with his torso was enough to recognize the beige colored uniform and brown jacket. She looked up at his eyes, saw him open his mouth to speak, then turned and made a run for it.

“Hey! Get back here!” His angry voice always came out when she resisted, he was hoping by this point she’d give up on always trying to evade him. Though she was quite fast, she was tiny. Standing just barely at 5'0, Hopper’s 6'3 form made it easy for him to catch up by taking huge steps as he chased her. It didn’t take long for him to get close enough to wrap a strong arm around her waist and quite literally lift her off of the ground and start walking back to his truck with her.

“God- stop carrying me, asshole!” She screamed, punching at the arm that held her in place. Her back was pressed against his side, like he was holding a baby backwards, and she thrashed against his body until he dropped her feet to the ground. A harsh grip on her arm replaced his previous method to contain her.

He didn’t say a word to her until he shoved her into the car. He didn’t cuff her, he’d only ever done that once, when she was drunk and belligerent and wouldn’t stop trying to open the back doors mid drive. Luckily, the car had child locks on for the back doors. Hopper climbed into the driver’s seat and let out a long sigh. “Do you think I enjoy having to leave home on a Saturday night to do this shit?” He asked.

“Yes, you fucking stalker!” She snapped, her anger boiling over. “What are you gonna do next? Hunt me down at home and arrest me for not doing the dishes even though my mom asked me to? Leave me the hell alone!”

“It’s not my fault that you are always being a dumbass kid!” Hopper screamed. Emma shrunk back in her seat at the volume and intensity of his voice. “You should be grateful that I’m the one who deals with your shit! Because I’m pretty sure if it were anyone else but me, you would’ve been locked up a long time ago!”

“What shit, Hopper?” Emma was seething at this point. “What shit are you putting up with? Following me everywhere I go and just waiting until I do something you don’t like? Stay home and enjoy your Saturday night instead of following me around!”

“So now it’s my fault that you’re always getting into some kind of trouble?” He asked rhetorically.

“Oh, like you were such an angel at my age.” She scoffed. He ignored her. Emma had found over time that the less arguing that happened inside of the car, the more uncomfortable it was for her. “You forgot.”

“Forgot what?” He asked, sounding like his patience was worn thin.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about boys?” She asked.

In the front of the car, Hopper’s eyebrows furrowed and his jaw set. He felt an overwhelming surge of anger fill his body as he listened to her words. “You aren’t going to ask me if I was with a boy, or who the boy was, or something?” She spoke again when he didn’t reply to her. “What? No longer interested in my love life, Chief?” His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel as tightly as he could. “You know what I think? I think you get a kick out of the idea that you’re keeping boys away from me. I think you like the idea of completely destroying my love life the same way you’ve destroyed yours!”

“Fuck this.” Hopper said under his breath, turning abruptly at the next left. Emma yelped from the backseat as the turn sent her flying to the left, as she’d never put on a seatbelt. He was originally going to give her a lecture and drive her home, but she was in rare form tonight.

“Um, where are we going?” She asked as she sat up and saw that they were going in the opposite direction of her house.

“I am going to take you somewhere where I can talk to you.” Hopper said, his volume controlled. The intensity of his voice still freaked Emma out a bit.

It didn’t take long to realize where they were going, and before she knew it, she found herself at the police station. “Shit.” She muttered to herself.

-

“You’re a real dick for this.” Emma murmured as she pouted in the seat on the opposite side of Hopper’s desk.

“I’m a real dick for this?” Hopper repeated, chuckling dryly. He was pacing around the room intimidatingly, but she had seen it all before- too many times to count. “You think I wanted to come to the station after hours to give you your twentieth sit down tonight?”

“You had the option not to and chose to do it anyway, so, yeah.” Emma shrugged. Hopper just stared at her in disbelief for a moment.

“The behavior that you refuse to give up…” Hopper thought about his words carefully. You could tell by the tone he was using that he was pissed yet trying to conceal it. “… Is unacceptable.” He finishes.

“I think it’s unacceptable that I can’t walk my god damn dog without looking over my shoulder to see if your standing there in your uniform- because it seems like literally every time I leave the house you claim I’m breaking the law.” She crossed her arms.

“Every time you leave the house you’re either drinking underage, smoking pot, going to big parties, or doing things that you should not be doing on a playground-” Hopper began to yell at her, but she cut him off.

“Please don’t bring that up.” She said, frowning uncomfortably.

“Oh, does talking about the playground incident make you uncomfortable?” He snapped. “Because it made me real uncomfortable to have to leave home at midnight because I got a call from some random jogger complaining that a little blonde girl was giving some boy a hand job on the swings!”

“Shut up!” Emma screamed. She got up from her chair and walked as far away from Hopper as she could, holding her hands over her ears.

“What, am I embarrassing you, little girl?” He asked loudly, condescendingly, as he followed her. She stared at him with a look of hatred. “Because you should be embarrassed!” He screamed. “Get the hell over yourself and stop acting like a jackass!”

“Why don’t you get the hell over yourself and stop acting like you’re doing this for me? You’re clearly just following my every move because you have some weird obsession with making my life a living hell!” She spat before reaching her arms up and pushing Hopper by his shoulders. Of course, it was impossible for him to overpower the man who was two times her size, and this only frustrated her more. “God, just move!” She pushed him again, to no avail.

Hopper caught her smaller hands in his much larger ones, holding them back from pushing him again. “You know why it’s always me, kid? You want to know why I’m the only cop who’s on your trail? Because I’m the only one who’ll put up with your bullshit week after week!” He yells. “Every god damn week, you get in trouble, and every god damn week I just let you off. Because I think you have potential to grow up and not be a giant nuisance, and I’m trying to be nice by not ever putting anything on your record. And every god damn week, you fight me as hard as you possibly can.”

“Because you’re a buzzkill, that’s why!” She hissed, snatching her hands back from him. “You ruin every weekend for me- you’re just an asshole! That’s all! I fight you so hard because you’re a gigantic asshole, and-”

She was cut off by Hopper grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him. “I ruin every weekend for you because I’m trying to stop you from doing something you’ll regret.” He said sternly, and Emma’s chest rose and fell shallowly in the aftermath of her screaming.

“I’m not going to regret anything.” She said weakly. The room was silent, and the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

It all happened so fast, it was hard to tell who initiated it, but the second that their lips touched there was no going back. Emma melted into the kiss immediately, shocking her. She’d never had a thing for older men before, and had definitely never had a thing for authority figures. But there was something about kissing Hopper that thrilled her. He was not only off-limits, but their complicated relationship made it even more taboo.

Hopper began to walk forward, forcing Emma to step backwards until she felt a smooth surface hit her back. Hopper hoisted her up onto the desk, never breaking their kiss. His brain had turned to mush, and the only thing going through his mind was how she tasted like strawberries and how soft her skin felt under his rough, calloused hands. He wanted to touch and kiss every inch of her body, and he started by slowly sliding the tips of his fingers under the hem of her shirt. Emma sat up straighter as his hands began to explore the skin of her back.

Despite what her behavior may have indicated, the weekends of partying and hooking up with boys, she’d only ever slept with two people. The first was her ex boyfriend, and the second was Billy. She went through a nasty breakup right before the end of her junior year, when her boyfriend graduated and left for college. Ever since then, she’d been enjoying all of the things she couldn’t do before, perhaps she’d taken it too far over the past year, but she didn’t care.

She wasn’t nervous to do this with Hopper, though. Emma tended to have this presence of self-confidence that rarely faltered. She rarely ever felt unworthy, unattractive, or unremarkable.

The kiss had grown hungrier, especially after Hopper traced his fingers up and down her back and realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. he slid his hands down her sides and gripped her hips harshly, pulling her closer to him until her butt was on the edge of the desk. He finally broke the kiss to take her shirt off, and he let the shirt drop from his hand slowly as he stared at her.

She blushed lightly, moving her hands up to his shirt to unbutton it. However, Hopper had no intentions of catching up to her, and moved her hands away as he leaned down and started kissing her neck. Emma was a bit disappointed that she didn’t get to strip the Chief, but she quickly forgot all about it as one of his large hands reached up to palm her breast, pinching her nipple as he sucked hard on her neck. She gasped at the feeling, and instinctively moved her hand down to palm him through his pants. He stopped her from doing that too, as he took his lips off of her neck and blew lightly on the dark mark he’d left.

“You aren’t going to let me touch you?” Emma asked, sounding distracted as his hand that wasn’t feeling her up dropped down to her upper thigh. He trailed his neck kisses lower, peppering them along her collar bones and down to her chest.

“No.” He said bluntly before he pinched one nipple and took the other one in his mouth. Emma didn’t have much time to pout before her jaw dropped again. She didn’t like to be too loud during sex, it was a pride thing, but she could hardly help herself tonight from gasping and letting out little noises at everything he did.

His hand that was massaging her upper thigh and ever so slightly brushing against her core was driving her crazy. She couldn’t stop her body from twitching when he got close enough to it, making her cheeks flush as he chuckled against the skin of her breast. He stood up straight again, reclaiming her lips as he slowly slid his hand over until he could feel her warmth through her shorts. She made a noise that was lost into his mouth, and she took it upon herself to start taking her shorts off.

Within seconds, Emma was completely naked, while Hopper still stood there fully clothed, the only pieces missing from his outfit were his hat and jacket. She found that she didn’t mind, though. Once he slid his hand down and starting pleasing her effortlessly, she was grateful to have the fabric to clutch onto to prevent herself from just going limp.

She was shaking, letting out involuntary mews and gasps of pleasure as Hopper rubbed a calloused, educated thumb over her clit. “Tell me about the boys.” He said lowly in her ear. She didn’t reply, and he grabbed her in his strong hands and easily flipped her small frame over so that she was left bending over the desk. She whimpered as he moved his hands from her waist down to her ass, squeezing before giving her a hard spank.

“Tell me about them.” He repeated, kissing the back of her thigh dangerously close to her aching heat. She twitched involuntarily at the feeling. She felt like she had no control over her body under his touch.

“B-Billy Hargrove.” Was all she could muster up to say. Hopper squeezed her butt again, pushing the cheeks apart and leaning forward. She could feel the scratchiness of his beard on her as he kissed her core lightly.

“Tell me.” He growled, as he finally began to eat her out. Emma cried out in pleasure, and Hopper spanked her with his right hand, trying to get her to speak.

“We-” she was cut off by her own moan. “Oh my God.” She said shakily as Hopper devoured her. As much as he loved watching her fall apart on his desk, he knew he wanted to take his time with her.

He began to lick her agonizingly slow, making her whimper again. “You what?” He asked, letting one of hands roam over the soft skin of her ass and squeeze.

“We’ve ho-oked up a few t-times.” She struggled to get out. Hopper growled, not expecting to be jealous of the boys that a college aged girl was getting on with. He knew she wasn’t an “innocent” kind of girl. Though her short blonde hair and big hazel eyes may look angelic, he’d busted her plenty of times for a plethora of reasons. At least two of those times her neck proudly displayed numerous hickeys.

“What does ‘hooked up’ mean?” Hopper asked. She tried to move, but his strong hands firmly held her in place. He moved one finger to her opening, teasing it. “Answer me, little girl.”

“We’ve done stuff.” She answered in a desperate tone. Hopper pushed his finger into her, making her gasp.

“What kind of 'stuff?’” He asked, and for some reason, the fact that he was interrogating her while he was fingering her, and he had her completely naked while he’d not taken off even a shoe, was so erotic. She had no idea she’d liked this kind of thing, but she was excited to see where it went.

“U-um…” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to answer that, but Hopper definitely wanted a response. She felt him slightly curl his long finger inside of her, hitting her g-spot with the kind of accuracy she had never experienced with anyone else. She let out some kind of noise she didn’t even know what to call. Hopper didn’t let up, moving his finger in her over and over. She could barely even see, let alone focus on answering questions.

Behind her, Hopper stood up. One of his hands was still working her up, while the other hand gathered her hair into a ponytail and pulled her head back so that she was level with his face. “'Um’ isn’t an answer.” He said, and she felt him put a second finger inside of her. She moaned loudly, forgetting about the pain of her hair being pulled completely. “Did you sleep with him?”

“Yes.” She breathed, and he felt anger rise in him again for reasons he knew weren’t fair to her. He distracted himself by kissing her, moving his fingers in her faster. She found it too difficult to keep up with the kiss, breaking it to moan and whimper. Hopper let go of her hair and she dropped back down to the smooth wood of the desk. His hand slammed against the desk a few inches away from her face, with Hopper watching her intently as she came closer and closer to coming undone in front of him. He finally couldn’t take it anymore when she grabbed his hand from the desk and took one of his fingers in her mouth, sucking it slowly.

Hopper groaned loudly, grabbing her again and flipping her over so that she was lying on her back on top of the desk. “By the time I’m done with you, you won’t even remember his name.” He growled before he grabbed her legs, which dangled over the edge, and threw them over his shoulders as he dropped to his knees, beginning to eat her out again. Watching her chest rise and fall as he focused his tongue on her clit was fun, but he wanted more.

He held nothing back, putting two fingers in her and eating her as if she was his last meal. Quickly, she was nearly screaming, shaking, and grabbing his hair tightly in her hands. The second she began pulling on his hair, he used his free hand to unzip his pants and take out his aching cock. He took the hand that was pleasing her and held himself in it, covering himself in her wetness. She whined at the sight of him stopping before she truly finished, and he smirked.

He picked her up in one swift motion, making her let out a surprised squeal. He held her so effortlessly, keeping her just high up enough that his tip was teasing her entrance. He kissed her neck slowly, working his way up from the curve of her shoulder up to her earlobe, which he bit lightly, making her shudder. “You want me to fuck you, baby?” He asked huskily, his lips barely touching her ear.

“Yes.” She breathed, her hands gripping the cloth of his shirt. She’d never considered herself to be into a man in uniform, but the realization that she was fucking the domineering police chief made her knees weak. She was thankful that she was being held up.

“Beg for it, little girl.” He said, and she let out a whimper as he slowly moved her hips away from him, trailing his cock up to her clit.

“Please.” She whined, bucking her hips against him. “Please fuck me, please, please, pl-” Hopper cut her off by kissing her feverishly, which she immediately reacted to. His mind flashed back to that night on the playground, when he caught her with that boy. He remembered how she and him didn’t notice Hopper until he made himself known. He remembered how he’d stood there for a minute just watching her before he told them to stop. He remembered how angry it made him. He remembered the fire that started in his stomach as he watched her angelic face being defiled by the boy. He remembered how he’d wanted to rip that boy limb from limb for no rational reason.

And he pushed those thoughts back down in his mind as he slowly pushed Emma down onto him. She broke their kiss, her jaw dropping. He let out a shaky breath at the feeling. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt a pussy this tight clenching around him. He wondered if he ever had in his life, actually. His chest rose and fell heavily as he began to lift her body up and down, slowly at first, but soon picking up the pace. She felt like heaven.

Emma was whining and whimpering in his ear again, which he was surprised to find he absolutely loved. “You feel so big.” She confessed, burying her face in his neck. He smelled like cigarettes and a classically scented men’s cologne. She moaned loudly as he began to lower her onto himself with more force.

And from that point on, they became lost in each other for what felt like mere seconds yet years and years at the same time. Hopper had lost control of his vocal cords and was letting out grunts and moans and strings of curse words, which was music to Emma’s ears. Watching a man twice her age become a panting, cursing mess right in front of her made her feel sexier than she’d ever felt in her life.

His strength never seemed to falter, even as Emma began to grow tired despite doing none of the work herself. His stamina was intense, and he was able to put her into whatever position he wished. At one point he had her up against the wall, holding her steady as he thrusted his hips up into her, until she breathlessly asked if she could be on top.

Hopper wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her to his desk chair, sitting on it with her on his lap straddling him. She kneeled herself up, before she lowered herself back down onto him. He used this new position as an opportunity to run his hands over her soft skin. His hands roamed everywhere, and soon he couldn’t help himself from reaching his hands underneath her thighs and lifting her up, taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking on it for a moment before dropping her back onto his hardness.

“Let me do it.” Emma whined as his hands guided her hips up and down. Hopper chuckled against the skin of her neck as he kissed every inch of her that he could reach.

“You want to be in charge, huh?” He asked lowly as he moved his hands up her body, wrapping one around her throat and pulling her towards him with the other. He kissed her deeply as she controlled her own pace and rhythm. The angle that she was moving herself at was different than any other they’d been in while standing, and as she began to sloppily drop her hips onto him and moan loudly into his mouth, Hopper realized she was close to the edge. He reached his hand that held her throat down to her clit, rubbing it in circular motions, while his other hand had tangled itself into her hair.

“Fuck!” Emma cried as she began shaking. Hopper didn’t stop tracing his thumb in circles over her sensitive petal.

“Language, little girl.” He cooed, holding her steady as her body began to convulse on top of him. He couldn’t even begin to describe the sounds that she was making, or translate whatever sentences she had tried, and failed, to say- all he knew was that it was hot. He felt her muscles tense around him, tightening her walls even more, making him groan and instinctively start to buck his hips up into her. She got even louder as he began to do that.

He could feel himself getting close, so he lifted her out of the chair with him and laid her back onto the desk, pulling her hips until her legs were dangling off of it again. He picked up a leg on either side of him and entered her one last time. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak as he watched her reactions to him pounding into her. He swiftly pulled himself out of her, groaning loudly as hot spurts of cum shot onto her stomach. They both stayed where they were, struggling to catch their breath. Hopper returned his softening cock to his boxers, zipping and rebuttoning his uniform’s pants. Emma grabbed a tissue from the corner of the desk above her head and wiped his load off of her stomach, sitting up slowly.

When they both came back to reality, neither of them knew what to say. Emma grabbed her clothes off of the floor and slowly, silently put them on. Hopper dropped back into his desk chair, watching her silently. He wanted to bring her back to his cabin and spend the night with her, staying up and toying with her all night. But he couldn’t do that.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She said, breaking the silence briefly before she left the room. Hopper finally lifted himself out of his chair, grabbing the coat, hat, and keys he’d laid out haphazardly around the office. He exited and locked his office, turning around to see Emma approaching him from the hall.

“Ready to go?” He asked, not knowing what else to say. Emma nodded. They walked out of the door silently together, and got into the car. For the first time in what seemed like the history of the world, Emma didn’t ask obnoxious questions or try to get a rise out of Hopper during a drive. It was obvious that both of them were in their own heads, lost in thought, wondering what the consequences of tonight will be.

When they finally reached her house, the two still had no idea of what to say to each other. “Goodnight, Hopper.” Emma said casually, opening the door and climbing out of the car and shutting the door behind her.

Hopper rolled down the window on the passenger side of the car, calling out “Be good, kid!”

Emma turned and gave Hopper a thoughtful look. After a minute, though, a smirk crept onto her face. “See you next weekend, Chief.” She waved before she turned around and walked into her house.

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 5: Working Girls

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: The time has come for your first tutoring session.

Editor: @cherrypierowena

It was Friday when you next spoke to Rowena.

She seemed intent on avoiding you all week, and you happily returned the favor. The less you saw (and heard) of her, the easier it was to pretend you weren't stuck being tutored by her for the entirety of this semester.

What were you thinking, saying yes to that?

You were an idiot.

Just as the last bell sounded, and you were on your way out, happy to start your weekend, the devil herself had to — just had to — walk up to you and say, "Tomorrow. Quarter past three."

You blinked as if you'd just been maced. "What?"

"The tutoring," she said a tad slower, in an overly exaggerated tone, as if you were dumb. "That thing you're making me do? Remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "You agreed for the same reasons I did. I'm not making you do shit."

She returned the eyeroll, which somehow managed to look even more dramatic, more exaggerated. You wondered if it hurt to twist her eyes like that. And if it did — good.

"Whatever. You coming tomorrow or what?"

Did you even have a choice?

The sooner you got it done, the better.

"Where?"

"My house," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

It kind of was. The way Rowena was, she wouldn't be caught dead with you — alone — in public.

"Sure," you say.

"Need directions?" she asked.

It was your turn to give her the are-you-dumb look. "I've been there countless times."

"Just making sure," she said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Don't want you to get lost."

Olivette, who was standing beside her, snickered.

Rowena smirked.

Nice. Already off to a great start.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart," you said condescendingly. Two could play this game. "Just make sure you're home when I get there. Busy girl like you, don't want you to stand me up."

"I won't, darling," she replied in the same tone. "I cleared me schedule just for you."

"How sweet."

"That's me."

Yeah. Sweet as diabetes.

Olivette pulled her arm, heading for the exit.

"Don't be late," Rowena said over her shoulder as she followed her.

"I would never," you shouted after her.

After the way she acted, you were tempted to. Badly.

*****

It was three o'clock sharp when you showed up at the MacLeod residence. Much to your disappointment, Crowley was out, doing whatever it was that he did on his own. Probably something not quite legal. Or moral.

You didn't ask.

You didn't care.

Just before you left the house, he sent you a message giving you his honest, heartfelt condolences. How sweet of him.

You hated to admit it, but it was oddly comforting. If anyone knew what it was like to study with Rowena — to be around Rowena for more than a few minutes, all alone — it was him.

Rowena opened the door dressed in something sparkly you thought she only wore to school to stand out.

Apparently, it was her regular attire.

Who would have guessed?

"You're early," she said in greeting, seemingly surprised.

"Hello to you, too," you said.

She scoffed and moved aside to let you in, then closed the door behind you.

The MacLeod house was small but comfy. The kind of house that made you feel right at home as soon as you walked through the door. Aside from their mother's, the MacLeod kids had two other bedrooms; Rowena had her own, and Crowley and Gavin, their younger brother, shared theirs. Not much space for a four-member family, but they made it work.

"Mother's at work," Rowena said. "Fergus is out. It's just you and me. And Gavin."

"Cool," you said.

Their mother was always working. Two jobs, you thought Crowley once said. Bills needed to be paid, and kids were expensive.

"Gavin won't bother us," Rowena said.

"Whatever."

You didn't mind the kid. From what you saw of him, he was a lovely little boy. A complete contrast to his sister.

She took you to her room. It was small, but somehow felt like home. The bed was by the wall in the middle, surrounded by a desk with a laptop on top, a large closet, a dresser, and, much to your surprise, two big bookshelves filled to the brim with books, hardbacks and paperbacks alike, all in seemingly pristine condition.

You would never admit it out loud, but you were impressed. You'd expected something more… pink. And sparkly. Maybe a few pictures of loser kids like yourself hanging on the wall, with targets painted on their faces in sparkly pink gel pen. The popular girl stuff.

Maybe she had those in her closet.

"It's just a room," Rowena said when she noticed you staring, a touch of smugness, of pride, in her expression.

You blushed. "Your books…"

"Aye, I've my own wee library."

A bit more that wee, it was. There were so many books!

"Don't touch anything," she added. "You can look" — she didn't seem too thrilled with that idea, either, but at the same time, she liked to be the one to impress — "but don't touch. I don't want you to damage the books."

You had to roll your eyes. "That's my sole purpose in life — damaging your books."

"For all I know, I might be," she retorted. "You seem like the type."

You cocked up an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"We wouldn't be in this mess if not for your damage."

Really?

Really?!

"You could've refused," you reminded her. "We both know why you didn't." Because little miss perfect wasn't so perfect after all. "Don't put your shitty record on me. I'm not the one bitching out the teachers."

At least when you did it, you did it out of earshot, around your friends.

If anything, Rowena could learn a thing or two from you.

Her cheeks flushed as red as her hair. "If you weren't such a failure, Mr. Shurley never would have blackmailed me!"

Maybe so.

But still…

"Maybe he doesn't like you."

God knew you didn't. Half the school didn't. Just because her group let her into their little circle didn't mean the entire popular scene liked her.

You'd heard the things they were saying about her behind her back. All the names they called her. The jokes they made about her.

Everyone knew the only reason she was popular, that she was someone, was that Olivette felt sorry for her. The same reason Lucifer started dating her Junior year.

Hell, you were pretty sure Rowena knew it, too. She couldn't not know.

But she put up with it. Because popularity was everything, even at the cost of dignity.

Being on top mattered more than anything. More than family. More than the people she'd trampled on her way there.

Despicable.

Rowena scoffed, looking at you as if you'd just suggested having live snails for dinner. "He loves me!"

You snorted. "Sure. Everyone loves you."

"People with taste do."

"Yeah, 'cause you're so lovable."

"Totally am."

As lovable as a splinter.

"Now, are you here to be rude or to learn?" she asked, changing the subject. "I've had to cancel plans to meet with you, you know. I don't want to waste my time."

You were the one being rude?

Typical Rowena.

"So sorry you can't make out with your asshole boyfriend for an extra hour this afternoon," you said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "What I do with my time is none of your bloody business! But if you must know, I was supposed to go shopping with Olivette."

So she was in agreement with Lucifer being an asshole.

Interesting.

"My deepest apologies," you said mockingly, earning you another eyeroll.

Books, notebooks, and supplies were on the floor, on a neat pile beside the bed. You lowered your bag containing your own stuff beside them and sat down Indian style. Rowena joined you.

"When's your make up test?" she asked.

"Thursday," you said. You thought Ms. Hanscum would give you more time, but guess not. You had a tutor now. She expected results.

You expected another F.

Rowena sighed. "Well, let's see what it is you're struggling with."

How about everything? you thought sourly.

"This was in the test," she said, opening the textbook and pointing a perfectly manicured fingernail at the pages in question. "What exactly is it you don't get?"

You slid the book over to you, scanned the pages meticulously. So many numbers and formulas. Odd formations of numbers and letters that made no sense. Solved example problems that looked as strange as a foreign language. Questions you didn't — couldn't — understand, let alone solve.

You blushed as if caught doing something awkward.

This was embarrassing.

"Everything," you mumbled under your breath.

Rowena frowned, confused, curious. "What?"

You swallowed. Breathed in deep and hard for courage. "I said everything!" She blinked. You sighed. "None of this makes sense to me. Might as well show me hieroglyphs. I'll understand as much."

As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that a mean girl like her had to tutor you, you had to admit to your ignorance out loud.

This was fine, you told yourself. Totally fine. If she laughed at you, if she told her friends what a complete and utter idiot you were, so what? Wouldn't be the first time you were made fun of.

You could handle a bit of bullying.

You'd handled it before.

Go at it, Rowena, you thought. Do your worst!

Instead, her hard expression softened. No trace of a smile lingered on her mouth. No teasing glint in her eyes.

She looked… concerned.

What was going on?

"You really understand nothing?" she asked. Her tone was genuine, no mockery in sight.

"Yup," you said timidly, face falling to the open book between the two of you.

"Why didn't you ask Ms. Hanscum to explain?"

What was the point? You still wouldn't get it. Also…

"So you and your friends can laugh at me?"

Rowena looked appalled. "I wouldn't laugh at you."

"Sure you wouldn't." Just like she hadn't looked around at people who'd failed with a smug look on her face. Just like she hadn't stood aside as her friends teased and bullied and mocked people, and laughed along with them.

She was about to respond, but shut her mouth just in time. Good. You weren't in the mood for excuses and lies.

"Why don't we start with the first lesson?" she asked, changing the subject back to the topic at hand. "If you get a hang of that one, the other two will be easier to comprehend."

"Sure," you replied. You weren't expecting much; if Ms. Hanscum, who'd spent years earning her degree, couldn't teach you, you doubted a mere high school girl could.

Still, it was worth a try.

You could use the extra credit, and plus, you'd promised Sam you'd cooperate. Rowena had apparently told him she had no patience for slackers. You didn't particularly care what she thought, but at the very least, you could prove her wrong. You could work hard and do your best. Make her earn her extra credit and clean record.

"Okay, so you see this problem?" Rowena asked, pointing to a set of numbers she'd written down on a piece of paper.

"Yeah."

You wished you didn't.

You had a feeling these numbers would show up in your dreams tonight. And every night after that.

Math was a bitch.

"Do you know how we got 3?"

You shrugged. "Nope."

She might as well have asked you to translate lettering from ancient artifacts.

Rowena sighed. Not quite happy, but not exasperated, either. "Let's look at it differently. What's something you like?" She looked around, lost in thought. "Money?"

"Sure."

Everyone liked money, you supposed.

She grinned. "Great!"

Was that genuine joy on her face?

"Say you have one hundred dollars. I borrow you twenty. Sam borrows you five. You want to buy a… DVD."

That was one expensive DVD.

"What kind?" you asked.

She frowned. "What?"

"What kind of DVD? Like, which movie?"

"Gone with the Wind?" she suggested.

You made a face. "I'd never buy that! Especially not for that much money."

"It's a bloody classic!" she exclaimed, outraged.

Well.

Somebody loved old movies.

"Don't care," you said. "It's old, needlessly long, boring, and, uh, did I mention old?"

Rowena looked as if you'd just admitted to murdering her entire family in cold blood.

"Make it Mean Girls. It's symbolic, at least."

She scowled. "Fine. You want to buy Mean Girls."

"Perfect," you said with a sugary-sweet, diabetes-inducing smile on your mouth.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. Her favorite thing to do, it seemed. "You get to the store, and you find out it's on sale."

"I love sales!"

"Everybody loves sales! Anyway, the DVD you want…"

She went on a long, complicated explanation of prices, tax, sales, calculations, and formulas. At first none of it made sense, just as it hadn't back in Ms. Hanscum's class. But the more she explained, the more details she provided to the imaginary scenario with money and DVDs, it started to settle in.

It took a good ten minutes, but by the time she was done, you understood the problem.

And when she gave you a few problems she'd made up herself to solve, same structure with different numbers, you did it.

Correctly.

Soon the two of you moved on to other lessons. Rowena was surprisingly patient. You expected her to scream and shout and call you names. Instead, she explained everything thoroughly, five times if she had to. She didn't talk down to you. Didn't make you feel dumb for not knowing things that came naturally to her. Didn't rush you or chastise you for taking too long to solve the problems she'd given you.

She spoke softly and kindly, and gave you time to think solutions through.

She was, dare you say, better than Ms. Hanscum herself.

"I think that's about enough for today," Rowena said.

You looked at your phone, eyes going wide at seeing the time.

Two hours had gone by in a flash.

"Yeah," you agreed. "That was way too much math for one day."

Rowena giggled.

It was cute, you found yourself thinking. A strangely cute little sound.

"Would you like to come over tomorrow?"

You blinked. "To study?"

"What else?"

"Isn't that a bit… soon?"

"Your make up test is Thursday, right? It's better to prepare really well." She shrugged. "Not saying you have to. It's just a suggestion."

You didn't want to.

You never wanted to see these numbers — any numbers — again.

You especially didn't want to see them that soon.

But…

Rowena was right. The more you prepared, the more you studied, the better.

It wasn't like you had anything planned, anyway. Sunday was a boring day.

"Okay," you said after a moment of thinking it through. "Same time?"

"Aye."

"It's a deal, then."

"Don't be late."

"I'll be here at three again. Three fifteen sounds a bit weird, to be honest."

She made no response to that. Merely shrugged as if it didn't bother her. "Says you."

"I'll be going, then," you said. "Say hi to Crowley for me?"

"Whatever," she replied, annoyed.

You took that as a yes.

The first session went rather well. You hadn't tried to kill each other and you'd managed to learn a thing or two.

Maybe having Rowena MacLeod as a tutor wasn't so bad after all.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @melisandre02 @a-queen-and-her-throne

[andavs]

I wish you’d write a fic where... Laura plays matchmaker for Derek and Stiles!

The car rolled to a stop outside of the fanciest restaurant in town and Derek sighed instinctively. He turned to his sister behind the wheel, who was severely underdressed for this place, and said,

“Laura, I asked you to stop doing this.”

She smiled guiltily—actually guiltily, so at least she really felt bad about this time.

“I know, and I promise I wouldn’t have set this up if I didn’t think you two would hit it off. But—”

Derek rolled his eyes. “You said that about Marcus.” Laura nodded, accepting the blame. “And Rose. And Trevor. And—”

“I get it!” she interrupted. “I’ve misjudged, but I’ve taken all that feedback you gave me—loudly and with a lot of swearing—and I’ve really gotten to know this guy! I did background checks and everything!”

“Those online background checks aren’t as accurate as you think.” Derek should know; two of his exes were squeaky clean according to those checks…right up until the assault and attempted arson and all of the organized crime.

“I know, I remember, and don’t worry about it. That won’t be an issue with this one.” She grinned. “He had impeccable references.”

That was a new one.

“You called references?”

“I talked to every single one of his coworkers, and a smattering of his Facebook friends, particularly ones from high school he doesn’t seem to talk to anymore.” She shrugged at Derek’s raised eyebrow. “If they don’t talk to him anymore, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t for a crazy reason.”

He had to admit, that was reassuring, if only minorly.

She smiled softly. “Trust me, Derek. I wouldn’t put you through this if I didn’t really think it would work.”

Derek held back his kneejerk response of, then why didn’t you just introduce us at a friendly brunch like a normal person, and returned her smile. Somewhat.

“If he sucks, I’m never talking to you ever again,” he said, and got out of the car before she could respond. He didn’t look back either, because she was probably watching him with a wistful smile on her face like a mom sending her child off to their first day of school.

A doorman led him through the formal lobby into the restaurant and up to the host, who greeted him warmly from behind his podium.

“Name?”

“Derek Hale.”

The host ran his finger down the handwritten ledger and checked his name off with a perfect checkmark. There was another name written next to his, but he couldn’t read the loopy, old fashioned cursive upside down, and it felt odd to ask who his date was.

He was led through the dimly lit restaurant to a booth on the back wall. It was out of the way of server traffic to the kitchen, a little secluded with the high backs of the booths, and every table was lit with a calmly flickering candle. It was the perfect place for a cozy, romantic date. Laura knew what she was doing.

With nothing else to do and feeling uncomfortable about it, he glanced around the dim restaurant at the other diners. Most were nicely dressed couples, a few larger booths were clearly business meetings, there seemed to be a teenage girl’s birthday dinner happening in a private room behind closed french doors. It was crowded but not very loud; no one talked above a civil indoor voice, and even the small quartet playing in the corner kept it down.

This was really not his type of place.

He turned his attention to the menu to keep from obsessively watching the door for whoever he was meeting.

The menus were hefty, hardback books that only had two pages; one dish for each type of meat and a vegetarian option. It was all in French, which Derek could speak, but that wasn’t always a good sign on a menu in America.

(There was a tiny part of his paranoid brain wondering if it was all part of Laura’s plan. She was definitely the type to think that translating the menu for a date was adorable.)

“Oh god,” a familiar voice said, and when Derek looked up to see who it was, he dropped his menu onto his plates—three, stacked neatly—with a clatter.

A few of the surrounding tables glanced back at the minor commotion, which might as well have been a scream in the calm and hushed atmosphere of the restaurant, but Derek couldn’t bring himself to care, because Deputy Stilinski was coming towards his table with purpose. Not about to arrest you purpose, not in that well fitting suit. But with I had no idea you were my date and I’m not happy about it purpose.

Derek could relate.

“No,” he said. It was the only word that made it through the hailstorm of panic, anger, and cursing that was thundering through his brain.

All of Laura’s background checks, her reference calling, the supposedly in-depth conversations they had—had she never once mentioned Derek’s full name? Anything about him at all?

She never thought to check if the man she was trying to set her brother up with—the man she claimed was perfect for him in every way—was his own dickhead neighbor who he had regular shouting matches with ever since Derek moved in three months ago?

Stiles Stilinski of apartment 7C was a dick of the highest order who abused his power as a deputy pretty much every day. He pounded on their neighbors’ doors with his badge and threatened to arrest them for disturbing the peace if they weren’t dead silent at all hours; Derek stole “his” (unassigned) parking space and the next day got a parking ticket for a meter expired by two seconds (three times); he’d accused a number of people of stealing his mail and threatened to press charges once he proved it (he never did), and when one guy set his trash bag against the dumpster instead of in it, Stiles got him fined for $50 and yelled at him about it.

This was who Laura thought he was perfect for?

Deputy Stilinski, who just that morning, had almost hit Derek’s Camaro in the parking lot as he got home from his night shift, just as Derek was backing out to go to work. Their angry yelling had woken every resident with a lot-facing window, and someone on the fourth floor had thrown a very brown banana down at them.

Derek had escaped while Stiles was threatening to arrest whoever threw it.

“Laura Hale,” Stiles muttered, connecting the dots as he dropped into the seat across the table. “Of course—of course, the eyebrows.”

Derek scowled, and Stiles waved a hand at him like he was proving his point, which soured his mood even further.

It was unfortunate that Stiles was such an ass, because he really did look great in his suit.

“Your sister is something else, you know that?” he griped, shaking out his napkin and putting it in his lap.

“Couldn’t agree more.”

“At least there’s one thing we agree on.” Stiles craned his neck, squinting out at the dimly lit restaurant. “How do we get booze in here, I don’t want to be sober right now.”

“Laura paid for a bottle of wine.” Derek offered, taking it out of the fancy bucket of ice standing next to their table and Stiles accepted his offer by holding out his wine glass. “Say when,” Derek said drily, and Stiles said nothing until the glass was dangerously close to overflowing.

Yeah, that pretty much summed up the evening already.

Neither of them was particularly interested in attempting a conversation, so Stiles opened his menu and after his eyes roamed around briefly, he frowned.

He didn’t speak French.

Derek hid his smirk behind his own menu. Normally, he would’ve offered to translate anything, but he really just wanted to watch the dickhead struggle.

Their server, Michael, returned shortly after to break the awkward tension. Judging by his sympathetic expression, and the way his eyes lingered on Stiles’ near-overflowing wine glass, he knew this date wasn’t going well and did his best to bring up the mood, but there was no saving it.

He guided Stiles through the menu, answering his exhaustive questions about different dishes, and then smiled gratefully when Derek ordered his own meal with perfect French pronunciation.

When Michael left the table with their menus, Stiles was scowling at Derek.

“You speak French.”

Derek shrugged. “A little.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes and took a long sip of his wine.

A tiny part of Derek hoped he’d choke on it.

“What’s your problem with me, anyway?” he couldn’t help asking, and in answer to his prayers, Stiles actually did choke on his wine a little bit and coughed.

“My problem? You’re the one who’s such a dick to me all the time!”

“Because you’re a dick to everyone.” At Stiles’ scoff, Derek frowned. “You threatened to arrest one of our neighbors this morning.” Shouted it up to him on the fourth floor from the parking lot, in front of everyone.

“Because he was dropping shit from four floors up! That’s high enough to hurt someone, or cause property damage if it hits a car!”

Derek rolled his eyes at the weak excuse. “It was an old banana.”

“The point still stands!”

“You threatened to arrest Sheila because her tea kettle was too loud.”

“If she’s going to take that long to take it off the stove, she shouldn’t have one that whistles,” he snapped, and Derek just raised his eyebrows through Stiles’ moment of self-reflection, because Sheila was well over eighty years old.

Stiles set down his glass of wine and said in shock, “Holy shit, I’m an asshole.”

Derek nodded condescendingly. “You really are.”

“But I’m not an asshole,” he insisted, like he was trying to convince himself.

“Well, you have been the entire time I’ve known you.”

“In my defense, you’ve only known me while I’ve been intensely sleep deprived and willing to resort to abuse of power to get some god damn sleep, no matter who I have to yell at.”

“Oh, so you’re only being a dick because you’re tired?” That didn’t make it better. How was he a deputy?

That made Stiles glare, swirling his wine glass sloppily. “I admit, it’s not my greatest character trait, but I don’t think you realize the level of tired and stressed I am, at all times.” Derek stared, not giving an ounce of sympathy, so Stiles continued. “This case has been building for five months. We’re understaffed, everyone’s been working overtime, constantly, I’ve slept like six hours in the last week, and we just can’t catch a fucking break.” He took a gulp of wine and probably didn’t taste any of it.

Derek’s eyes followed the glass as he set it down on the table, and when it settled, it was already almost empty. “Should you be drinking on so little sleep?”

He shrugged. “Don’t care. I’m having a personality crisis, I need it.” He then turned his attention to the bread basket and dove in.

“What is this huge case?” Derek asked, desperate for a distraction from watching Stiles stuff practically an entire thick cut slice of rye into his mouth. He was also hoping to find out a little more about what Laura was working on, because she hadn’t told anyone anything about it, at all. She was a city prosecutor, and all Derek knew was that her current case was big, important, and could potentially change Beacon Hills forever. And if there was a case big enough for the entire Sheriff’s Department to be working overtime, it was probably also Laura’s.

Stiles reached for another slice of bread. “Let’s just say it’s a huge crime family that’s been operating here for decades and we’re right on the edge of taking them down once and for all.”

He scooped up a chunk of butter and started to sloppily spread it across his bread, oblivious to Derek’s heart starting to pound.

“The Argents?”

Stiles winced dramatically, mid-schmear. “Don’t tell anyone I said that, because we’re trying to keep it on the downlow until we’ve got more on them, and I really wasn’t supposed to say any of that, and god, this wine was a terrible idea.” He finished by putting his face in his hands, looking like he wanted to die right there.

Meanwhile, Derek’s heart had moved past pounding and he could feel his entire rib cage shuddering with each thud.

Was this a coincidence, going on a date with the cop investigating his ex-girlfriend’s criminal family? Was it a set-up? Was Laura in on all of it? No one knew about Derek and Kate’s relationship, how had she found out? Why didn’t she just ask him instead of coming up with this blind date scheme?

He reeled himself back in while Stiles shamefully took another sip of his wine and avoided eye contact.

He was getting ahead of himself. There was no way Laura knew about Kate. She hadn’t even been living in California during their relationship. This was probably just a coincidence; his sister was a prosecutor working with the police, his ex came from one of the largest criminal families in California, things were bound to collide eventually.

He took a deep breath through his nose, trying to act calm and casual, and asked, “As in Kate Argent?”

Stiles choked on his wine a bit. Again. He was a mess of a person.

“You say nothing to no one about this,” he ordered through a strained cough, pointing a very non-threatening finger at Derek. “To anyone. This never leaves this booth.”

“I won’t, but—I know her,” he finally said, and then immediately second-guessed himself. “Knew her. Used to know her.”

The threatening finger point shifted to more of an exclamation and Stiles hissed excitedly, “Holy god, you’re the ex!”

Derek jerked back. There was no way Stiles could’ve figured that out from this conversation, it really was a set up of some kind! Laura was in on it! Was Derek implicated in something? Was he about to be arrested?

“I—I don’t—”

“No, no,” Stiles interrupted, leaning forward excitedly. “We have someone on the inside and she said there was an ex who might’ve witnessed a lot. She said his name was Darren or Dorian or something.” He narrowed his eyes, definitely too tipsy to be having this conversation, especially in public. “Kind of sounds like Derek.”

Derek should’ve had more of that wine.

“Did you see anything about their operations?” Stiles demanded. “Hear any strange phone calls? Did she tell you anything?”

She did. And he had seen plenty during their year together, because Kate had routinely dismissed him as a pretty face and a firm ass to grab in public, but there was nothing Derek wanted to do more in that moment than sprint for the door. He was going to strangle Laura with his bare hands the second he saw her.

“Shouldn’t we be at the Sheriff’s Station for this?” It was a weak attempt at an escape, or at least a delay in dragging up the worst year of his life, but it didn’t deter Stiles like he’d hoped. Instead his eyes lit up.

“So you do know something! Where’s Michael? Can we get food to go here? I kind of chugged that wine and I’ve got maybe a fifteen minute window until it really hits, but if you drive, we can get to the station and get you talking on the record before I start getting embarrassing.” He actually started to get up, his napkin fell off his lap onto the floor, but Derek reached out to grab his jacket and pull him back into his seat.

“Hold on, I haven’t agreed to anything yet,” he hissed quietly, pulling Stiles closer to make sure he really heard and understood that. If he could intimidate him a little bit at the same time and maybe get him to stop steamrolling over Derek for five minutes, that would just be a bonus.

But Stiles wasn’t intimidated, and he grabbed Derek’s jacket right back.

“Derek,” he started lowly with an exhausted, manic gleam in his eye, “I’m so fucking tired all the god damn time, if you know something about the Argents, I will do literally anything to get you to testify in the court of law.”

“Anything?” Derek temporarily set aside his own discomfort and fear at the thought of becoming a witness against one of the largest crime families on the west coast, in favor of a little payback for all of the parking tickets he’d paid in the last three months. Priorities.

“Anything,” Stiles agreed, somewhat desperately.

“Will you personally apologize to all of our neighbors for being an asshole?”

Stiles’ right eye twitched. “I don’t think you realize how far I’ll go to get some fucking sleep and a day off.”

As close as they were, still holding each other closer, Derek could see the veins in Stiles’ bloodshot eyes. They were equal parts concerning and terrifying.

“So is that a yes to the apologizing?”

“I will personally buy each and every tenant in our building a bouquet of roses and serenade them at their door if you will testify against the Argents.”

Derek smirked. “Even me?”

Stiles hesitated, considering, and his eyes flicked down to Derek’s lips for he briefest second. “Depending on how I feel about you once I’ve slept more than three consecutive hours, you might just get a hell of a lot more than a song and roses out of me.”

Derek stared. Stiles swallowed and licked his lips, and Derek couldn’t keep from glancing down at them.

“Deal,” he said, and they quickly parted to get some fresh air outside of the cloud of wine breath. Stiles took another large gulp of wine while Derek flagged down Michael for the check and their food to go.

He ignored the wink he got in response.

*

(Their second date is Stiles going door-to-door through the building, Derek trailing behind with a huge bunch of flowers, handing their neighbors a rose as Stiles apologizes for being an ass. The entire building plays music and watches TV as loud as possible in retaliation, and Stiles can’t do anything but put a pillow over his head and suffer.)

(And obviously between Derek and Allison’s testimonies, the Argent family is rounded up and put in prison, so Stiles finally gets to take a few days off and he and Derek spend hours doing nothing but lazily napping and making out on the couch like a couple of teenagers. And Derek realizes that the dark circles under Stiles’ eyes aren’t how his face is supposed to be, and he’s really much cuter when he isn’t suffering intense sleep deprivation.)

[anotherstonedphilosopher]

Greta Thunberg

My first real post 🙂

Why do grown ass people dislike Greta Thunberg so much? Let’s forgo the climate change argument. Someone tell me why it’s ok to let the WORST polluters (big business, governments, military, not people who want to use straws) dump their waste wherever they want? Why is asking the very people who can afford to make things immediately cleaner and safer such a bad thing? Why is giving giant corporations tax benefits to continue polluting the environment better than taxing them to clean up the mess they make? Shouldn’t that be reversed? Giving tax breaks to environmentally conscious companies who spend more to ensure they reduce their environmental damage doesn’t make sense?

Nobody has been able to answer this. I get a lot of misplaced/projected blame, though. One mental giant said Thunberg is a puppet of the New Green Deal Party. Said they didn’t want taxes to be raised. Said it’s all propaganda and actually compared it to the type of propaganda that gets people killed by evil governments. They were the type of people who liked to call people “libtards”, because that’s what they called me for questioning their sense of morality. I have screenshots, by the way. I’m expecting them to block me or delete their shitty comments, so I take screenshots for posterity. 😁

They admitted that it’s wrong that governments and businesses are doing much of the polluting, though, and that’s inherently wrong. They admitted that the worst polluters should be held accountable. They couldn’t tell me how Thunberg isn’t doing the same exact thing. They kept going back to “she’s a puppet of the NGD agenda”. They even condescendingly helpfully posted the Wikipedia page defining “propaganda”. But they couldn’t explain why they didn’t support the part of the “agenda” that says “polluting is bad, let’s tax the worst polluters so we can fix their fuck ups”. They didn’t want taxes raised, even though their taxes probably wouldn’t be touched, unless they own some major company who actually would have to pay those higher taxes (which I highly doubt they do).

I do not back the NGD, I am a Libertarian. I agree that governments and big industries are the worst polluters. I know that technology now exists that could really help the pollution problem. I also know that nobody who can actually afford to adopt those technologies are willing to pay for them. The Keystone Pipeline is leaking in North Dakota. Do you really think they went with bidder who could provide the best, safest, hence most expensive, construction? Do you really think they went with a moderately priced bidder who could provide SOME of those things? Do you really think so?

And, if the pipeline is so great, why do they not want it to run along their properties? Instead, they ran it through the lands of the poorest people in this country, who can’t afford to clean up someone else’s mistakes, the Native Americans. After they did this, no less:

I kept asking them to explain why they were pro-pollution. I kept asking them to explain why pollution is ok. I kept asking them to tell me why a 16-year old girl with Asperger’s was such a threat. I asked them why is environmentalism wrong? They just told me to “quit trying to distort what im[sic] saying” despite not saying anything useful, much less factual. Apparently some world-wide NGD Party conspiracy is “exploiting” this girl by blackmailing us by using emotional lies. 👀

I told them to just admit they have no thoughts of their own and that they won’t give an answer because they can’t deal with the morality of their answer. They tried to turn the table by saying *I* haven’t answered THEIR questions, of which thye never asked any. I spouted pretty much the same thing they kept saying, which was the same thing Thunberg was saying, (tax the companies and demand that the government keep the environment clean), but it didn’t compute for some reason.

Someone please explain to me why wanting clean air, land, and water is wrong? Someone please explain why just asking the richest people on the planet to be conscious of their environmental impact is so bad?

Let’s just say Thunberg IS a “puppet” of some global environmentalist/greedy politician conspiracy like they claimed, since I’m already willing to not bring up climate change. Does that really negate the problem of pollution to where we shouldn’t do anything about it and trash talk a kid? Or is it really because certain conservative people don’t like being they are morally wrong? Or is it because rich people don’t care about anything but their bottom line? Is it ok to assume someone else’s “agenda” but not yours?

This is what I think is my best takeaway was from this conversation🤣

Keep sucking that late stage capitalist teat. It comes in orange now.

Some of y’all never listened to 80s/90s metal and it shows 🤣🤣🤣

[editorandchief]

Trust | Montgomery De La Cruz | Part 2

Summary: Reader was having a normal morning until someone decided to pull a stupid prank

Warning: None

Montgomery De La Cruz x Reader

Its been about 2 months since you broke up with Montgomery and you had no intention on getting back together with him.

Everything seemed so better, you got to wear your favorite perfume that Monty told you sent like shit, and dress, shirt, or shorts you want without him yelling at you about ‘walking about with you ass half out’.

But like everything there was a bad side Monty had been calling and texting you almost nonstop half of which were happening while he was drunk, he ever showed up at your house one night thank god your parents weren’t home, having to sleep alone with no one to cuddle with even though Montgomery was cheating on you he held you so close to him at night that he might have thought you would evaporate if he didn’t.

You also started to notice him getting into more fights at school or coming to school with bruises that weren’t there the day before leaving you to conclude that he had been sleeping at home most nights.

The bell had just rang for third period while you were on your way to ap history when a hand went over you mouth and one around your waist. You start to kick but soon after your feet are restrained as well.

When you finally set down you look around and your surrounded by guys in the middle of the boys locker room.

As you survey the faces of your attackers you realize it none other than the Liberty High baseball team.

“Thanks I’ve alway wanted to know what it felt like to be kidnapped.” You said sarcastically but still with and uneasy feeling as you knew what most of the baseball team were into. “I guess I can also say I know how Natalie Greendale felt at Sheri’s party.” You joked with a small laugh once you realized no one else was laughing you kept quiet....of a while.

“OKAY WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?” You yelled.

“Well explain in a minute just calm down.” Zach said.

“No zach I’m not gonna calm down in a room full of high school male and not a witness in sight.” I sneered.

“What do you think we’re gonna do Y/N?” Bryce asked taking a step closer to you.

“I don’t know Bryce you tell me, but I do know that if you don’t back the fuck up it will be the last think you do.” You replied.

“Alright let’s all calm down here.” You turn at a new voice entering the locker room.

“We’re all calm here coach.” Bryce says taking a few steps back.

“No were not I was just kidnapped.” You interjected.

“Look we’re sorry about that we just needed to talk to you.” Scott explained.

“And ‘hey Y/N.’ Wasn’t gonna workout for you?” You asked rolling your eyes.

“We didnt think you would listen if you knew what it was about.” Zach said making you have him a look to tell him to continue. “Monty.”

“Oh hell no.” You said turning on your heels and heading towards the door, only to find you path blocked by no less than 7 males.

“Hey Y/N, is it? Monty is one of the best guys on this team and as of late it’s been showing in his preformance on the field that something is off with him.” Coach spoke up. “And according to the team this all happened when you guys broke up.”

“Still not seeing what this has to do with me.” You interrupted.

“Look I’ve seen you around school with Monty and at the games in the stands cheering him on and you two seemed like a pretty solid pair and you don’t want one little fight to ruin that do you?” He asked condescendingly.

“Uh coach.” A random member started. “He was cheating on her for almost a month.”

“And that’s awful but everybody makes mistakes.” Bryce replied.

“Yeah and im not putting up with his ‘mistakes’ anymore.” You snapped. “I had to come to school everyday and see the girl my boyfriend was fucking behind my back, see them talking and flirting and act like I didn’t know anything so I don’t look like the crazy jealous girlfriend! For 3 week he looked me in my eye and lied to me and then had the nerve to accuse me of cheating and call me a slut!” You yelled causing half the team to flinch.

“Look no one ever said Monty was smart, but i since you dumped is ass he’s had a hair trigger and if he gets into anymore fights porters gonna bench him for the rest of the season, not that it matters is playing has sucked.” Scott quickly got to the point seeing you were running out of patience.

“I never asked him to be smart Scott I just wanted him to be loyal, or is that too much to ask from you people. You know if the roles were reversed I’d be slut-shamed out of the school, but when a guy does it we’re just expected to forgive him?! Well fuck you! I’d say fuck Monty but I’m sure someone is already on that now either you let me out of this damn room or I’m gonn a start screaming rape at the top of my lungs not that that would be beyond any of you!” You shout. “No offense Zach, Scott.” You said becoming a little calmer.

“All good.” Zach said at the same time Scott replied with a “no problem.”

After you exited the locker loom you went straight to class but you couldn’t focus on anything that was happening your thoughts were only on Montgomery.

Was he really that upset about your break up?

Of course not he wasn’t thinking about you when he was screwing Natalie.

But the team needs him.

So what has the team ever done for you?

Everyone deserves a second chance.

He had a second chance the first time he slept with her, the chance to come clean and never do it again but he wanted to her more than he cared about you.

Thoughts like these were floating though your head the whole day. Finally it was time to go home when you were trying to make your way to the door but a huge crowd was blocking your exit.

“I’m gonna beat your fucking as Adams!” You hear a familiar voice from the core of the mob.

“What the fucks your problem all I’m saying is it not my fault you cheated on your girl and got caught.”someone replied.

As you pushed your way through the crowed you saw just what you expected to see and angry Montgomery. What you didn’t expect was to see the face of the Asshole jock the tried to suck your face.

You felt a presence beside you causing you to look and come face to face with Bryce walker.

“What Walker?” You sighed.

“Nothing just wondering if your gonna let this happen?” He asked gesturing towards Monty.

“I’m not letting anything happen, this has nothing to do with me.” You replied.

“Yeah your probably right. But it’s no secret Monty has been looking for a reason to beat Adams to a pulp, and when he’s does there will be no more baseball he could miss the chance at a scout. Not to mention his dad will hear about it as we both know how that’s gonna end assuming no one presses charges and sends mont straight to jail, but yeah completely out of your hands it’s not like you could stop it or anything.” He went on and on.

Taking off your backpack and trusting to towards him which he takes.

“I hate you.” You say before walking to stand between Monty and Adams.

“Y/N what are you doing? Move.” Monty said still staring down the boy behind you who once you looked at him realized how scared he was. He knew he fucked up and that once Monty started it would take a lot for him to stop.

“Monty no.” You said holding you hand out keeping him from coming forward. “Think about this, even if you beat him up now what’s gonna happen to you after?” You asked.

“I don’t care.” He gritted out.

“I do Montgomery look at me.” You order but you demand went ignored.

You move closer to him and put your hand on either side of his face and gently guilt it down to the level of your eyes.

“Look at me.” You say softly as he finally submits. “I’m willing to talk about us Monty but you have to prove to me it’s worth it. Please just come with me and walk away. Please.” You quietly beg.

He started into your eyes for what seemed like forever.

“Fine.” Said causing you to let out a sigh of relief. You glance over to Bryce and nod.

“Alright, alright folks nothing to see here clear out!” He said starting to wave people off.

Once the group had dispersed Bryce had returned your bag to you and reminded Monty about having practice before the game tonight.

“Okay let’s go talk.” He said reaching for your wrist. You move slightly out of his reach.

“Not now Montgomery.” You replied.

“But you said.” He started.

“And we will, but you heard Bryce you have practice and a game. We can talk after.” You clarify.

“Your coming to my game?” Monty asked. You didn’t miss the joy fill his eyes as he waited for your answer.

“Yeah I’ll be there.” You say bitting your lips.

“Okay that’s great.” He exclaimed. Before you could stop him he quickly pecked you on your lips. “Oh I’m sorry.” He said once he realized what he didn’t.

“It’s fine, but just because I’m willing to talk doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.” You clarify.

“I know but if you do get back together I promise I’ll treat you like the angel you always were to me.” He said.

“You should go you have a game to win.” You said with a small smile.

“Yeah I’ll see you later.” He said walking backwards as if when he turned around you would disappear.

“I’ll see you later.” You said turning to walk away.

Once you got you your car you sat there staring straight forward.

“What the hell am I gonna do.” You said dropping your head down into the steering wheel a little too hard.

“Ow.” You quietly wined rubbing your forehead.

[arazialotis]

Irish Whiskey - Part 1

Pairing: Patrick × Reader, jealous Dean

Word Count: Around 2100 

Summary: With the case taking longer than expected, Y/N jumps on the opportunity to blow off some steam with a flirtatious Irish gentleman and perhaps will have the chance to make a couple extra bucks while at it. But the case and seemingly simple poker game turns more complicated when the Winchesters come across a familiar face. (Patrick appeared in Supernatural Ep. 5 x 7)

Warnings: Language

@misguidedconqueress Thanks so much for helping me review and edit!! Especially with this one since it is not my typical style. 

----

Witches, you were sure of it; they are what brought you and the Winchesters to the town three days ago. But you were nowhere close. The case should have your full attention but you had become delayed by the sly Irish man sitting across the high top from you. His dark brown eyes were warm and inviting yet glinted with a shimmer of mystery and danger. You wanted nothing more than to run your hands through his flowing curls. And his voice, well his voice warmed your soul the way the Irish Whiskey you were both nursing burned on its way down.

Dean and Sam were both long gone by now. Dean with some chick… as always. But lying to yourself had become easier than entertaining the disappointment. And this man, was a very welcomed distraction.

“So Patrick, you from around here?” You asked, wondering if this handsome distraction could possibly give you leads.

“No, just passing through actually.” He twisted a toothpick in his mouth.

“Oh, what for?” You questioned taking another sip of whiskey.

He smirked still impressed you could handle it. “Poker. A tournament in fact. It's really just a hobby but it makes a few extra bucks. You play?” He asked.

You chuckled. “Ah no. Tried to pick it up but, uh, I was sick of people wiping the floor with me, so I gave it up.”

“That’s too bad. I could give you a few tips, I’ve heard I’m a very good teacher.” He set his toothpick down and reached for a deck of cards in his coat pocket.

“I’m afraid a teacher is only as good as their student and I… I just can’t bluff.”  You blushed.

He started shuffling the deck. “We’ll only go one round.”

“Okay,” You agreed flipping through your coin purse. “Well, if you are interested in lint, hotel keys, or gas station receipts… I’m your girl.” After he dealt the cards and he took a sip of his whiskey.“Your hotel key doesn’t sound too bad.” He smirked and slipped the toothpick back between his lips.

“Oh my god!” You hid your face in your hands. “That’s not what I meant!” You giggled.

“I know Y/N, I’m simply giving you a hard time.” He lightly chuckled. “I’ll give ya the first lesson for free.” He winked.

You squirmed in your seat, imaging this is what it must feel like to have Dean’s attention. “How kind of you.” You finished the glass and singled to the bar for another.

Patrick analyzed your move, trying to read more than just your poker abilities. “Texas hold‘em. You know how the game?”

“The mechanics. Yes.” You looked at your cards and winced.

He laughed and took back all the cards redealing. “You actually need to try and bluff.” “Okay, okay.. I’ll try.” You looked at your cards again and wiped your hand over your face, looking Patrick dead in the eyes. But you couldn’t hold the serious gaze and started to giggle.

“Yeah. You’re terrible.” He chuckled back.

‘“No, no. I’m going to try.” You diverted your gaze. “So..” You found a napkin and started writing down. “I will bet you my number.” You folded the napkin in half and set in the middle.

“I’ll call.” He wrote down his number as well, set it in the middle, and dealt the flop.

You had nothing, but you were trying your best to bluff. “I’ll bet you another round of whiskey.” You purposed.

“I’ll call, and raise you a date tomorrow night.” He offered.

“I’ll call.” Your toes curled. He turned and you’ve never seen a hand this bad.

“Umm…” You didn’t know what else to throw in. “Drinks after dinner?”

“And I’ll raise you my hotel key.” He twisted the toothpick.

You sighed. “... I gotta fold.” You saw his lip twitch in disappointment. “Listen, you are super attractive.” You silently cursed at yourself for being so blunt. Maybe the whiskey was getting to you. “But I’m not the kind of girl just to have a one night stand when I meet someone on the first night.” You anxiously stated.

“Well, technically it would be the second night, after the date and all…” He grinned.

You laughed back. “Okay, if I didn’t just ruin everything. Let see how tomorrow night goes… and maybe we can play another game.”

“I’m in.” He agreed.

After a few more drinks, you called it a night and walked yourself back to the hotel. The next morning, you woke up to pounding on the door and in your head. You stumbled over to the door, rubbing your eyes. Both boys stood outside your doorway, in their tailored and freshly pressed suits. They both furrowed their brows at you.

“Late night? That’s not like you.” Dean chided as he waltzed in.

“Shut up.” You left the door open so Sam could come in too.

“Y/N, it’s 11:15.” Sam stated.

You laid back down on the bed and put a pillow over your head.

“And you have the babies and brunch group in 30.” He continued.

“Babies and what?” You sat back up.

Sam rolled his eyes, exasperated. “I sent you details last night.”

“Essentially, all the desperate housewives from the suburb get together and gossip while they actively ignore munchkins whining and running around.” Dean explained condescendingly.

“Okay. Big flaw in your plan… no kid.” You pointed out.

“Congratulations, you’re expecting.” Dean snarked. “New to the neighborhood and looking for connections and advice.”

“Ugh.” You complained and shut the bathroom door to get ready.

Sam and Dean dropped you off at a way too trendy spot, for babies and brunch. You had in mind a McDonald’s with one of those playplaces. But no, in this place everything was robin's egg blue or fairy dust moss color, and of course a ton of bird decor.

A woman perked up, smiling at you upon your entrance. You swore you could practically smell the chemicals radiating from her unnaturally white teeth.You bit your lip to avoid smiling as she crooned. “Ruthie darling, come join us.” ‘

Ruth was the identity Dean had come up with for you. You plastered on a fake smile and went up an octave more than you are used too. “Veronica? I’m so sorry to intrude but I am new to town and stumbled upon your blog…”

“Darling, darling.” She waved you over to the table. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.” You sat down in the free chair, putting your purse in your lap. “We are delighted to have you.” She greeted for the table around you. “I’d offer you a mimosa, but we want to keep that precious bundle of joy safe and sound.” The group laughed.

You politely chuckled and put your hand to your abdomen. “Yup, we are staying dry for another seven months.”

Veronica placed her hand on your shoulder. “It’s all worth it, Ruthie dear.”

The rest of the wives continued business as usual, gossiping about anyone and anything, complaining about their husbands, and willfully ignoring their children’s screams and overwhelming amount of bodily fluids. You tried to stay focused though on the pack leader. She would have the most information if there was a witch in the group.

“So, Veronica, which one of these little rascals is yours?” You looked around, eyes following the two boys running around the table playing tag.

“Oh sadly none, my children have all grown and moved away with no prospects of grandchildren.” She conveyed with sorrow.

“But you’re so young?” You blurted out in shock before you could catch yourself.

She chuckled. “Oh you’re too kind my dear. No, it’s true. That’s why I’ve started this group. So I can be a support to young mothers and get the joy from the children.”

At that moment, one of the boys playing tag tripped over his shoelace and collided with the ground. You looked to his mother who was already on her third mimosa and waved him off as he started to wail.

“There, there Sebastian.” Veronica called and snapped her fingers. He instantly stopped crying.

“... You’re so good with them…” You spoke, but the look on Sebastian’s face indicated he was more mortified than calm.

“It comes naturally dear, don’t you worry, it will come to you too.” Her phone buzzed and she jumped in her seat. “Oop, I’m running late for the salon. But we simply must continue our conversation. How does tomorrow for afternoon tea sound?”

“That would be so lovely.” You bordered on the edge of mocking her fake pleasantry.

“Wonderful, I’ll text you the details.” She stood up and blew a kiss to the rest of the group before waving. “Bye darlings.”

As soon as she left, Sebastian began crying again, raising your growing suspicion. His mother finally took notice and went to collect him.

The lady next to you bumped in. “Hey, don’t get too close, she can be a little overbearing.”

“A little overbearing?” The woman argued from across the table. “She’s worse than my mother-in-law.”

“I’m sorry… I guess I’m confused…” You stated.

Sebastian's mother who was now packing up, piped in. “Sweetheart, she pays for the drinks so we come.”

That’s a little rude, you thought to yourself. Maybe your gut feeling was wrong.

“All I’m saying is, the doting on is fun for a while but pretty soon you’ll start to remind her of her daughter and she’ll send you to her estate in New Hampshire like the rest because.” The woman cleared her throat and gave her best impression. “‘They simply have far superior doctors in that region. I can’t have you giving birth in this primitive landscape.’” A few of the other women chuckled.

“I’m sorry, the rest?” You asked… then again your gut never steered you wrong before.

“Yes… a few months ago… what was her name..” The lady tried to recall.

“Casey!” One popped in. “And before that, the poor gal who was still in high school.”

You forced a lump from growing in your throat. The missing high school girl was what brought you out in the first place. “But never any of you?” You clarified.

“No she doesn’t want to pull us away from our families already here. I guess she just wants to make sure the ones who are alone feel cared for. It’s really not all that bad.” One lady passively argued.

“Okay, well thanks for the info, ladies… I’m going to get going though.” At this point you felt you had a solid case built up against her. It would be better to focus your energy on her rather than trying to suffer through another hour of gossip.

You set out down the street towards the downtown district, dialing Dean’s cell. “Hey. Suspect numero uno is going to send you details about a tea party tomorrow.”

“Why me?” Dean asked.

“Because you’re the one who set up this brunch thing in the first place, idiot…. I don’t want to raise suspicion by giving out a different number.” You explained. “Just forward it to me when she does, I’m headed to city hall to dig up any records I can.”

“We’ll meet ‘cha there.” Dean ended hanging up the phone.

After pouring through city taxes, housing records, and whatever else you could get your hands on, you were able to establish Veronica moved here twenty years ago with her husband Edward Marshe. Unfortunately, there was no mention of the kids she had spoken about. You discussed the babies and brunch meeting with the boys and they agreed that it was still worth investigating further. Perhaps tea would lead to some further details. Sam was planning to research more into this New Hampshire estate and the oversea investments that counted for most of their income.

You picked up your phone and gasped at the time, evening already setting in. “Shit guys, I gotta run.”

Sam and Dean shared a shocked look. “What for?” Sam asked.

“Card game.” You smirked.

“And you didn’t invite me?” Dean asked pretending to be offended.

“You’re a distraction.” You reminded.

“Because of my dashing good looks?” He teased.

“Oh of course.” You snorted. “Your fiery eyes, hard pecs, and boyish charm just makes me oh so weak in the knees I forget the difference between clovers and spades.” You teased even if there was a hint of truth to it.

“Shut up.” Dean waved you off. “Win it big time for us kid.”

“Drinks on me tomorrow night, boys.” You laughed before walking out with confidence. You had this Irish man right where you wanted him.

-----

Part 2

Forever Tags: @nanie5 @sea040561 @crushing83 @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @ginamsmith @jotink78 @blushingokoye @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @dancingalone21 @li-ssu @highonpastries @daddy-kink-confirmed @weewooweewoo1212 @carryonmyswansong @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @atc74 @superapplepie @coolness22 @cassieraider @winchesternco @adaliamalfoy @iwriteaboutdean @spnbaby-67

[evenstevensranked]

#6: Season 1, Episode 18 - “Movie Madness”

Louis takes a stab at directing a short film in hopes of winning the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival and it is absolutely incredible. Not the film, the film is god awful. But Louis’ blatant, unfiltered narcissism -- THAT is something to behold. The subplot follows yet another one of Ren’s attempts to approach Bobby Deaver for the first time but somehow results in some glorious miscommunication between her and recurring character Ivan.

This one opens in history class with a teacher named Todd Zanders who only appears in this one episode. I kinda love this guy and wish we saw more of him. He’s a total hippie and is making the class take “deep, cleansing breaths -- in with the good, out with the bad” when Louis comes running in late and disrupts the peace. Louis is clearly excited about something so Todd pulls the old “why don’t you share with the rest of the class” card, probably hoping that will intimidate Louis and shut him up, but this is Louis Stevens we’re talking about here. Todd technically gave him the floor, so ya know Louis is gonna run with it. He gets up on his chair and announces to everyone that he’s going to be entering his currently non-existent film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival. 

“I, Louis Stevens, will be entering my film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival. And after I win first place in the festival and get my million dollar movie deal... I will, sadly, be moving to Beverly Hills to a sprawling ranch home.” -- The narcissism is already in full swing. I love it. I also love that Louis says he’ll be moving to a ranch home because he already stated in Episode 15 that he’s “always liked ranch style!” houses. Good continuity. 

Louis goes on to say he’ll be needing a limo driver, a gardener and even suggests that Todd should be his personal chef. Oh my god. He tells Tawny, Twitty, and Tom to meet him at his house after school to discuss the logistics of the project and its million-dollar plot.

It cuts to the subplot where we meet both Ruby and Bobby for the first time! Ruby is reporting to Ren with her latest gossip column and the two of them end up checking out Bobby Deaver from across the hall. I just gotta include a gif of Bobby’s first appearance because the level of intentional dramatic cheese is hilarious. 

Ren is gushing over Bobby from afar saying things like “He’s so cute. Look at his hair... It’s perfect. Look at his walk! He’s so cool!” and for whatever reason, everyone’s favorite lackey Ivan is within earshot and assumes Ren is crushing on him. He’s flying solo in this episode and I guess this shows us why he’s a hanger-on every other time we see him. Ivan on his own is pretty sad and shy. 

Ivan under the impression that Ren’s compliments are directed at him. 

Ruby inspires Ren to talk to Bobby but warns Ren that she should write down everything she wants to say to him beforehand to ensure their first conversation will be absolutely perfect. We get a bit later on where Ren is in her room trying to come up with an ideal icebreaker and oh my freaking god. This has got to be one of my favorite Ren scenes in the entire series. Good LORD! She imagines how each scenario could play out in her head and I die laughing every time. Two brilliant ideas she comes up with are to walk right up to Bobby and say “Hey, Bobby. Nice belt!” or my personal favorite: “Hey, Bobby! Oh, I wouldn’t try that Salisbury steak if I were you!” The writing on this show is so incredibly random sometimes that it only ever results in greatness. Also “Nice belt!” is so disturbing. She says it in the most suggestive way too. Why are you staring at.. that... region, Ren?! Each ridiculous scenario ends with Bobby making the most irritated and confused face and completely ignoring her... because, I mean... would you know what to say to someone who walks up to you, creepily smiles, and tells you to avoid eating Salisbury steak with no further explanation? 

I just realized that this show often depicts girls as being the first ones to make a move or initiate a relationship, which is kinda cool since we’re pretty much conditioned to sit around and wait. 

After everything, Ren ultimately decides that marching up to him and saying “Hi, Bobby! I have a big crush on you and I just wanted to let you know how I feel!” is the best way to go. 

It cuts to Louis’ room where he’s having that meeting with Tawny, Twitty, and Tom. Once again, we see Louis determined to find his "thing." That’s pretty much what the overall theme of the show originally set out to be. In addition to our lovely bickering siblings, of course. Here, he’s super optimistic that he’s finally found his “thing” in writing/directing. Sweetie!!! Your thing is comedy!! We all know this already!!!! But, still. I really enjoy the idea of Louis constantly searching for something to excel at. He explains to them that “Everyone has their thing. Twitty has his music! You’ve got your poetry! Tom’s got..... his... parents!” HAHA. Poor Tom. 

Louis goes on to brief the gang on the plot of the movie which he describes as “the classic love story about an alien (Tawny) and a cowboy (Twitty).” An instant classic, honestly. Louis truly believes that they’ll “walk in as nobodies, and walk out as stars” after appearing in his movie. Well, everyone except Tom -- who he relegates to the role of his assistant. 

”I see stars.” 

It cuts straight to filming and boy do things really get going now. Louis has transformed part of the living room into a tinfoil explosion, which I’m assuming is supposed to be the inside of a spaceship. (see cover photo.) This episode is FULL of amazing dialogue and quotes from Louis. It’s insane! So, as usual, it’s going to be very difficult for me to not quote every single one. Twitty decided that his cowboy should have giant mutton chop sideburns and speak with an English accent without consulting Louis, Louis gets insulted because “that’s not in the script” -- which Twitty and Tawny haven’t even been given yet. Once they get their scripts, however, they’re confused as to why it’s only one page. Louis, being the informed and gifted director he thinks he is, condescendingly explains “We’re only shooting scene 27 today. We shoot out of order. It’s called filmmaking.” Except everyone knows that films shoot out of order due to the availability and scheduling of the sets/locations and actors, etc. Louis Stevens has only two actors at his indefinite disposal and seemingly one set location. He’s literally shooting out of order for no reason and is completely oblivious. It’s great. 

Louis can’t be bothered with rehearsals, blocking, or any other necessary steps towards making a movie and jumps straight to filming. Tawny is unsure of what he wants her to do because “all that script said was ‘the spaceship lands and the alien looks around.’” Louis has no time for her valid confusion and snaps “THAT’S RIGHT. YOU’RE CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED. DID YA READ IT?!?!” I love this so much. Louis starts recording and Tawny vents out of character/as herself: “This is ridiculous. I don’t know where I am! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” and Louis praises her ‘performance.’ HAHAHAHAHAHA. 

“GENIUS! THAT IS GENIUS! RIGHT ON THE MONEY, BABE! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!”

I’m not even sure how to review the next part of the episode because the performances truly speak for themselves and I gotta stop myself from typing out a transcript of the whole thing, lol. Basically, Louis goes into full meltdown mode. Freaking out over Tawny saying “Hi, Cowboy” instead of “Hello,” Twitty’s unauthorized addition of a gold tooth for his cowboy, and Ren interrupting a scene. “PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY. THIS IS A MOVIE. IT’S MY MOVIE. WHICH I WILL NOT LET YOU MESS UP!” He instructs Twitty and Tawny to meet him outside for a saloon scene. Except Louis doesn’t have saloon money: 

Twitty: “Louis! What is this, man? Where’s the rest of the saloon?!” Louis: “CUT! Twitty, it’s a close-up. No one’s gonna see the saloon!! Let’s try it again. But this time, give me a little more.” Twitty: “More what?!”  Louis: “JUST MORE!!!!!!”

-- Louis Stevens, everyone. The greatest director of our time. 10/10 would recommend. 

We get possibly the greatest line in the whole episode when they start filming and a lawnmower revs up as soon as Louis shouts ‘action.’ He cannot believe the audacity of his neighbor and shouts “WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THE NOISE?! WHO MOWS THEIR LAWN ON WEDNESDAY?!?!?!” Things only get worse when the sprinklers randomly turn on too. At this point, Louis is #confirmed crazy. 

“TOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I also love Louis’ little toilet paper roll that serves absolutely no real purpose. 

The next day, they move on to filming the big finale scene where Zenobia the Alien takes off in her spaceship, leaving her cowboy lover behind. Louis originally intended for it to take place during a harsh winter blizzard and assigned Tom the responsibility of making convincing snowflakes. Tom shows up with this: 

“TOM, YOU CHOWDERHEAD! I ASKED FOR SNOWFLAKES, NOT DOILIES!”

Louis has no choice but to ditch the blizzard and changes it to “a blazing desert windstorm in the middle of fall.” Okay. Zenobia’s spaceship is a tiny tinfoil thing way up in the trees and Tawny’s like “......how am I supposed to get up there?!” and Tom arrives with a “harness” that’s actually just a freaking elastic luggage rope as if that’s going to handle Tawny’s weight. But Louis assures her “of course it’s safe!!!” because he had Tom test it on a 20-pound sack of potatoes. Sounds legit. 

Is he gonna add that “blazing desert windstorm” in post, or? 

They start filming and sure enough, the “harness” breaks and Tawny falls a good 8 feet to the ground. Louis couldn’t care less though and the gang is D O N E with him at this point. They all quit the project on the spot, leaving Louis to finish the movie himself. Tom was the last one to quit and it’s pretty sad. Louis immediately looks to Tom as a last resort and expects him to step in and help finish the movie, but Tom flat out says “you’re only nice to me when you want something” and Louis has no remorse like “yeah, so?” -- This is the only part of the episode that kills me. But even so, you can tell that Louis is realizing the error of his ways pretty quickly. 

Louis left sad and deserted. “I CAN FINISH THIS MOVIE BY MYSELF!!! .....It’s my ‘thing’.”

Unfortunately, finishing the movie himself includes having to play every role himself as well. Louis is confident that if he shoots at the right angle and disguises his face and voice, no one will be able to tell the difference: “It’s called Movie Magic.”

Ren: “I’m sorry, little three-eyed girl, but do you know where my brother is?”

It cuts back to the subplot. Remember how Ren wrote a hypothetical note to Bobby just to get her thoughts down? Well, she gave it to Ruby to read and Ruby proceeded to stuff it into Bobby’s history textbook without Ren’s permission. Great job, Ruby. Unsurprisingly, Ren is livid. I would be too. Ren is a mess during history class, sweating the moment when Bobby will take out his book. So she crawls on the ground and tries to sneakily retrieve the note from his backpack. This is pretty funny. Her teacher is the same hippie guy, Todd, and this time he’s making Ren’s class do stretches “for knowledge, focus, and concentration.” Once Ren is spotted on the ground lookin’ like a weirdo, she makes up some bogus excuse that she was “squatting for truth!” HAHAHA.

She’s unable to get the note back in time, but amazingly... the note isn’t even in Bobby’s book! Turns out Ivan and Bobby bumped into each other in the hallway earlier and accidentally swapped books in the process. Therefore, the note was delivered to Ivan. You guys know I love a good miscommunication plot. They never fail to make me laugh. Ivan dramatically approaches her later and says “Ren... It needs to end. The looks in the hall, love notes...” I really love Eric Jungmann’s performance here. He’s pretty hilarious and obliviously arrogant, thinking that Ren is in love with him. One thing I never understood was how Ivan could think the note was written for him though? Because I’m SURE Ren must’ve written Bobby’s name somewhere on there! Unless she was keeping it super mysterious for whatever reason. Anyway, Ivan says “Please, Ren. Don’t speak. I’m gonna walk away now. Try not to watch me.” I love it. That’s the end of the subplot. Much like in Surf’s Up, I wish this miscommunication plot had more layers!! 

Ren just stares at him all ~fake-emotional~ and lets him believe what he wants to believe lol.

CUT TO THE FILM FESTIVAL!!! Which takes place at the real-life Vista Theatre in Los Angeles. (Another filming location I’ve added to my bucket list, tbh.) Louis is clearly anxious while waiting around for the festival to kick off and is kinda dreading the ~big premiere~ of his million-dollar movie. He’s sort of standing there rambling random things off to people like ‘have your people call my people!’ and at one point walks alongside a guy and says “yada, yada, yada... let’s just talk about somethin’!” -- Seinfeld reference, anyone?! Crazy to think that the “Yada Yada” episode first aired a mere 4 years before this at the time. I just thought that line was another awesome, subtle thing to throw in and makes for a cool connection to Louis’ Kramer poster. Of course, Louis Stevens would casually quote Seinfeld! I bet it was an ad-lib, honestly. Shia’s the best.

In the end, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom eventually show up in support of Louis and his movie. Louis apologizes for acting like a jerk and Tom even vows to put  “the snowflake incident” behind them. It’s a nice moment before the premiere of what might be the best worst movie ever made, only in competition with Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. 

Let’s just say, “Three Eyes Wide Shut” premiered to... mixed... reviews from the audience. It's very embarrassing. We never actually see the finished product. They only show us a few scenes, which always bummed me out. So I took it upon myself to edit together what “Three Eyes Wide Shut” might’ve turned out like given everything we saw Louis film. And it’s... something:

The intro alone kills me. You know a movie’s gonna be a doozy when the opening credits are typed in Comic Sans. Notice how at the very end Tom mispronounces his own name?! He definitely says “Tom Griblaowski.” Really weird. 

Needless to say, Louis is absolutely mortified by how awful his movie was. He tries hiding by attempting to blend in with some cardboard cutouts in the lobby, but... you can kinda see him there. 

Fun Fact: I was recently binge-watching “That’s So Raven” in preparation for the “Raven’s Home” spin-off, and I was so shocked to discover how many actors they recycled from Even Stevens. Beans, Cynthia Mills, The Asian radio announcer guy, the “Look Smart, Be Smart” instructional tape guy, Beans’ cousin Chris, Mr. Crappizi the school photographer -- the list goes on and on. And if that wasn’t enough... THEY EVEN RECYCLED THESE CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS!!!!!

I DIED LAUGHING AS SOON AS I SAW THIS. Oh my god. I obviously recognized it right away. All of this recycling makes sense though, as both shows were produced by Brookwell/McNamara. But, like... wow. Amazing. After the movie, Twitty and Tom try to make Louis feel better by telling him “You got into the festival, didn’t you?! And they only took the Top 10 entries!” Which would’ve been nice... except Louis explains “Everyone got accepted. There were only 9 entries.” HAHAHAHA. As Twitty and Tom head home, Tawny emerges from the theater and her mind is still reeling from the movie. She’s the only other person on the planet who understood the message Louis was trying to convey which is apparently “feeling like an outsider and wanting to be accepted by your peers.” Yeah, right. 

I always thought it was a nice touch that Tawny wore a green shirt with eyes on it to the premiere of the movie. Definitely feels like a little tribute to Zenobia, lol. 

This is really great though because it sets up Louis and Tawny again nicely. It further establishes that Tawny understands Louis better than anyone else. She got the point of his film when no one else did. She asks if they can watch it again and after they do, all we hear is a sultry voiceover of Tawny saying "I liked it even better the second time" - Oh, God. This always made me really uncomfortable lol. The episode ends with fake “bloopers” from the making of the movie and I can’t deal with it. Interestingly, I watched this episode on TV not too long ago and they cut out Tom's rapid-fire accented quote "Taco burrito, nacho's premio, $1.89 for a limited time, you know what I'm saying?" -- Is that considered offensive or racially insensitive now? I’m assuming. I have no idea but, I thought that was weird and suspicious. 

And that’s it!

I love this episode. So, so much. There’s an aspect to it that is very ahead of its time. Like I mentioned, quality quotes are flying left and right in this one! The humor is ON POINT and the performances are stellar. Especially from Shia! I always say that this is one of the episodes where Louis is at his most ‘Michael Scott.’ There’s just this level of hilariously endearing narcissism that Michael exudes all throughout The Office’s run mixed with that signature dry humor and I get those vibes from Louis so strongly here. It makes me SO HAPPY. I mean, yeah, I usually don’t like it when Louis’ ugly side makes an appearance, but it’s beyond tolerable for me in this one because the plot is just so hysterical. As entertaining as Michael’s narcissism was, it also got him in a lot of trouble as well. Often resulting in very cringe-worthy moments or people resenting him, which we see happen to Louis here. Idk. I just love finding similarities between my favorite shows. This episode also reminds me of when Michael wrote and directed his own terrible movie “Threat Level Midnight.” HAHA. 

I love Ren’s side story, too. It’s one of her stronger/funnier ones for sure. The miscommunication always gets me and the plot is also pretty important because we’re introduced to Bobby and Ruby! I’m ranking this one juuuuust shy of the Top 5 due to it having two separate plots. My Top 5 are all episodes that interweave A and B plots because I feel like Even Stevens just works better that way in general. But, still. That doesn’t take away from how solid this episode is. It literally meets all of my criteria: Personal favorite, quality plotline, quotable dialogue, hilarity, iconicness, overall entertainment value, and there’s even some character development too! So good. 

Thanks for reading!!

Just so y’all know, I actually managed to get “Three Eyes Wide Shut” listed as a legitimate short film on IMDb. I am not kidding. Please feel free to leave a sarcastic review. It’s currently boasting a 6.0. LOL! 

For this episode’s Redbubble design, you can get a reproduction of the Three Eyes Wide Shut theatrical poster!! Omg. This is one of the first things I designed and it’s been sitting in my Redbubble drafts for months. I’m so excited to publish it! haha. The poster can be seen on Louis’ bedroom wall throughout the series! I also made a little “A Louis Stevens Production” design (Comic Sans and poor capitalization and all) with Louis as the MGM Lion, lol. 

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