#because I have like 2 weeks to study for my exams and then have to do so many things within less than 4 weeks

[shrews-studies]

Graduation exam tomorrow, guys if I survive this I'll be the most carefree person on earth for the next 2 years

[burningfaith]

first homework for ancient languages in scientific terminology and I need to learn how to pronounce words in Latin, I hate it here </4 I mean what did I expect from my major (more things related to managing information & administration, but whatever), but the most annoying thing is the fact that we have more semesters of useless classes like philosophy than the literal (ethno)linguistics and philology majors...

GIVE ME MORE DATABASES, EXCEL AND STUFF LIKE THIS INSTEAD OF THAT CRAP

[pluggedintosaverockandroll]

you know it's exam season because i'm questioning all my life choices

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow

[adore-gregor]

study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true

[hunsa-jars]

Bnuuys

[umilily]

I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.

[applexi]

school madness

[martsonmars]

desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe

[tardis--dreams]

Hey girl, don't be sad. Bastille concert in 32 days, okay? ♡

[crunchtune]

This is kind of annoying because i was really planning to go back to posting somewhat regularly but i wont post any drawings for a while bc i got a cyst on a tendon in my hand

[preserve-or-raze]

my tags got out of hand

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[ixioideae-letters]

I feel like I reached a moment in my relationship where... I can't deal with another failure.

[m6pr]

for real though i don't see my friends enough and it makes me sad :(

[adore-gregor]

my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni

[fen-the-space-dragon]

Every passing day. My need for therapy grows. Exponentially. Yet every time I try to get it, something gets in the way. Isn’t that funny? Cuz I think that’s so fucking funny. Now my parents are trying to help me get on meds. I wonder what will get in the way of me getting help this time