#bc the 'Ew!' is v funny

[mechsbrackets]

I've finished looking through the submissions for the Best Mechanisms Quote/Line bracket! 40 submissions gave us 169 different quotes! So many! I have the general quote and number of nominations together, but I have yet to go through and double check exact wording and punctuation for most of them, so no full list tonight sadly. I can give the top 3 though:

"Fuck you, and fuck your train!" 16 nominations

"Fuck the ship!" / "I do." / "Ew!" 13

"But any window with a hammer is also an emergency exit." 9

Thank you to everyone who's submitted nominations already! Everyone else, there's still 5 days to submit nominations, so make sure you do so before the deadline!

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[equitatus]

/ What if I hypothetically sent Kaeya to poke at your muses-

[johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend]

hi hi hi! so i was wondering if you could possibly write a little johnnie Smut and fluff where maybe johnnie invites his gf (reader) to be in a video with him and Jake (possibly a Halloween type video) and jake making his silly little comments about johnnie being a virgin and getting no pussy and reader makes a lil comment agreeing w jake. Johnnie being salty the rest of the video and it leading to smut w a lil choking maybe 😜🤭🤭🤭

(i love your writing, feel free to tweak this however u please!)

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧? - 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

contains: dom! johnnie x f sub! reader, fluff, smut, p in v, choking, fingering, spanking

word count: 1.5k

this request is mmm i needed some dom johnnie

story below the cut

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emo guy:

y/n

babe

babe.

baby wake up

you:

mmmm whats up

emo guy:

wanna be in a vid with me and jake pleease

you:

ok only bc ur so cute

y didnt u tell me this in person?

we live together

emo guy:

oh shit i forgot

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johnnie opens the door to your shared room to find you sprawled out in the bed. you see he's already ready to attack the day, which is surprising, considering he normally doesn't wake up before 2 p.m. you stare at him for a few moments, not saying anything, before playfully pretending to fall back asleep. he takes this as a challenge, walking over to the curtains and yanking them open, almost blinding himself in the process.

"aughh johnnie it's way too bright" you yawn, the light hurting your eyes. he walks back over to you, leaving a quick kiss to your forehead. "c'mon you have to wake up, jake wants to film a video." you sigh, "what are we gonna do?" he looks at the ceiling before looking back down, "i don't know, i think he wants to buy some halloween stuff or something." "okay tell him i'll be ready soon," you say while stretching your limbs. scratching your head, you get up. "we're gonna leave soon, don't be too long babe." johnnie says, walking out of the room.

you finish your light makeup, as you had already styled your hair and put on some clothes that consisted of johnnie's shirt, no name pajama pants, and socks with birks. it wasn't too much, but it was still so cute on you. johnnie watches you finish your makeup, coming up to the vanity. "how did i manage to get the prettiest, loving, and sweet girl ever?" he says, peppering kisses on top of your head, putting his arms around you. "ooh someone's feeling lovey dovey today," you say, pulling him in to a longer kiss. jake bursts through the door, "i- ew, okay guys stop licking on eachother. mama bear needs some candy in her system right now, and i don't need to see all that." he says in a funny southern accent, leaving the room. you laugh a little with johnnie, as you see jake grab his keys, heading to the garage, which is a signal for you guys to get your butts out of the house.

this time, you were the designated camera man, so you held it while they walked through the parking lot. "-and this time we actually have a special guest," you turned the camera around on to yourself and waved, "hey guys, i'm gonna be babysitting these nerds because they got kicked out last time!" johnnie makes an offended expression, "um excuse me it was actually jake who got kicked out because he wouldn't stop screaming" "guys stop ganging up on me" as you film them walking in the store, jake loses spatial awareness, crashing into the metal racks behind him, causing a laugh to come from you and your boyfriend. "oww what the hell johnnie why would you push me like that?" "yeah johnnie why would you do that to poor jake?" "okay how is that fair-"

the video continued like normal, just you three being idiots and making dirty jokes. the shopping cart is almost full to the brim with junk food, random costumes, and halloween decorations. "oh my god johnnie, we have to get you this." jake says, as he holds up a really stupid costume. "that's definitely something a discord mod virgin would wear." "yeah that's exactly my point." "seems pretty realistic." you and jake say at the same time, making fun of johnnie. bursting into fits of laughter, the two of you take turns roasting him. "what do you mean dude you get absolutely zero pussy" "okay y/n help me out here-" "yeah the only girl johnnie hangs out with is you jake." you say, following up his comment. "hey!" johnnie rolls his eyes, looking away and scoffing. you and jake didn't notice, continuing to joke around about johnnie's lack of action, which obviously wasn't true because he was dating you.

typically, you guys wouldn't get mad at eachother when you took turns embarrassing the other, but for some reason he actually seemed slightly pissed. "anyways.." jake continues talking about anything he can think of. for some reason, your boyfriend still looked salty, making snarkier-than-usual comments towards his friend. you guys ended the video, as jake drove home. johnnie stayed quiet on the ride home, and you were thinking if you genuinely might've hurt his feelings. even though it was unintentional, you were determined to find out. jake walks back to his room and shuts the door, presumably going to take a long nap. you turn to johnnie, "are you okay? i'm sorry, i was just teasing you if anything." not saying a word, johnnie grabs your hand, tugging you back to your shared room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when both of you get inside, he immediately locks the door and pushes you on the bed. "wha-" he puts his hand over your mouth, leaving you unable to speak. "so you wanna embarrass me in front of the camera huh? i really don't get any pussy, right?", he says while pulling down your pants. you moan out, feeling the friction of his hand against your crotch. "look at you, you're already so wet. do you wanna tell them how much of a slut you are for me, or should we just keep that between us?"

johnnie starts rubbing your throbbing heat through your panties, not letting you answer. he attacks your lips with a passionate and lustful kiss. you kiss back, moaning into it and easily giving into his control. he starts marking your jawline with bruises, as he slides a finger into your soaked pussy. he groans, feeling a tent grow inside his pants. "m' please.." you whine, as he forcefully adds another finger, speeding up the pace. he takes off your lacy panties leaving you completely vulnerable. as you feel yourself getting closer, he removes your shirt. you're finally about to cum until he removes his hand, leaving you practically whimpering for more.

"only good girls get to cum, but you've been really naughty, haven't you? now you have to hold it in." "shit, please johnnie," you say, climbing on top of him while taking off his shirt. he unclasps your bra, quickly sucking on one of your breasts, making you arch your back. while he does this, you get yourself situated on top of his crotch. he takes both of his hands as he gropes your butt. being as horny as you are, you start grinding on his hard-on through his jeans. you whine his name as you start having an orgasm on his pants. "i told you to fucking wait. now you're gonna get it rough whether you like it or not." he moves you off of him, taking off his jeans and his boxer briefs. he flips you on your stomach, and pulls you hips up leaving you in a doggy position. johnnie teases you, rubbing his tip on your now sensitive and overstimulated clit. with that, he takes his hand and gives you a harsh smack on your ass, making you groan loudly.

instantly after, he pushes his full length into you, making both of you moan out. you dig your face into the nearest pillow, trying to deafen your sounds. he starts his pace, getting himself adjusted while groaning. "don't do that, i want to hear your slutty, pretty noises." "w- what if jake hears?" you manage to whimper out. he is attacking your pussy at this point, slamming into you. "then he can hear how no one can fuck you as good as i am." he slaps your ass again, and this time you fully release a moan. "mm fuck" he holds your neck, slightly choking you as he pounds into you. both of you are close to your climaxes. "cum on my dick baby." johnnie groans as he starts rubbing his fingers on your clit, helping you release. while shaking, you shudder out and squirt all over his dick. he follows after you, cumming inside you. (you're on birth control)

he takes himself out of you and stands up. you're so dead at this point that he puts on his boxers, and heads to the bathroom. johnnie comes back with a wet hand towel, cleaning you up and puts a new pair of underwear on you. he also holds you while putting one of his t-shirts on you. "thanks baby." you tiredly say, laying back down on the bed. he crawls right next to you and you cuddle up into him. "so... are you gonna stop making the virgin jokes?" you both laugh, soon falling asleep.

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you're eating cereal for breakfast next morning as johnnie is pouring himself a cup of water. a tired jake comes out of his room, the first words out of his mouth being; "okay guys what the fuck was that?" you look at johnnie, obviously embarrassed as he has a smirk plastered all over his face.

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thank you for requesting! i've been sooo so lazy and it was hard to finish this one but i did it to feed you guys xoxo

[slut4msby]

first kiss. miya osamu x reader

+ tags & warnings; not proofread & v rushed </3 also like quiet a lot of swearing (mainly just the use of the word 'shit')

+ a/n; day 6/7!! one more day to go before i go take a LONGGGG nap (i wish :<) but yeah this isn't the best written but here u go bc im on my osamu shit atm <3

“So you’re seriously telling me, THE Miya Osamu has never kissed anyone?” You teased the now embarrassed dark harder boy. “Like THE Miya Osamu, like brother to like the schools biggest flirt Miya Atsumu? What’s next your brother hasn’t either? I always knew the Miya twins were FULL of surprises but this, THIS is new.”

“Ew, I don’t wanna know who my brother is kissing and shit.” He said defensively.

“Why?” You questioned.

“Whaddya mean why? Because it’s weird he is like my brother I don’t wanna know what girls he’s snogging and sh-”

“No, I mean like why haven’t ya kissed anyone ‘Samu?” You cut his ramble off, “like I’m sure there's plenty of girls willing to, you have just as many fangirls as Atsumu, just his are louder and more annoying. And apart from that there’s no denying you're an attractive man. I mean you take care of yourself as well.”

“I-I don’t know, Y/N. What I do know is I don’t wanna kiss some fangirl or some shit, I want it to be with someone I care about I guess.”

“Awww 'Samu, that's so cute.” You gushed at his response.

“Shut it, Y/N.” 

As the conversation comes to halt the school bell rings, ending your first break of the day. “I’ll see ya later, ‘Samu. You smile walking down the hall to your class. You sit in your seat next to Osamu’s twin brother, Atsumu.

“Hey, Y/N-chan~” He says as you sit down.

“Hey ‘Tsumu? Ya know ‘Samu has never kissed anyone, like isn’t that just kinda bizarre. Like he’s funny, a good cook, handsome, good at sport ya know what more could a girl want? Like I know he’s seen women and shit but I dunno it’s just weird, I kinda feel bad.” You say towards Atsumu.

“If ya care so much Y/N, why don’t you just kiss him or something? I’m sure that’d shut him up. Ya both never shut up about each other, it’s kinda annoying.” 

“He talks about me?!” You say with a pink stain spreading across your face.

“Did ya hear what Y/N-chan said earlier, did you see Y/N-chan today, I think I’m gonna bring Y/N-chan some food tomorrow, Y/N-chan this, Y/N- chan that and every time I tell him to shut his trap.” Atsumu sighed, placing his head in his hands, “and yer not any better Y/N.”

“I don’t talk about him that much.” You say crossing your arms, frowning at Atsumu. Atsumu just rolled his eyes in response. Not long after your teacher began teaching her lesson, you couldn’t stop thinking about the twins' words. “If ya care so much Y/N, why don’t you just kiss him”  “to be with someone I care about I guess” “Ya both never shut up about each other”. There was certainly no denying your attraction to the silver haired twin. But in your years of knowing him, neither of you showed any romantic interest in each other. You had both seen a range of people, every breakup the same. Ending with one comforting the other, “they were such a dick anyway” or “I never really liked them to begin with.”

As the school day concluded, you decided to watch the volleyball teams practice. A common occurrence at this point.

“Oh hey, Y/N.” Suna said as he entered the gym, Osamu behind him. Osamu looked up to give you a smile, which you returned. No hey or hug like you were used to. There was something different about Osamu this time.

As you watched the boys practice, you would have some casual conversation with the team. Giggling and smiling, but never Osamu. It was always Osamu, but not since your conversation earlier.

Eventually Osamu was alone for the first time the whole practice, so you decided to confront him on his weird behaviour. “‘Samu?” You ask softly, his head poking up to look at you, “you’re acting weird, is everything okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, Y/N. Just a little stressed, school and all that,” He mumbled softly before returning back to practise leaving you dumbfounded. 

“You know that’s not the reason right, Y/N?” Suna said from behind you. Causing you to look behind you, giving him a look of curiosity. “Apparently Atsumu sent him a message earlier, I dunno what it was exactly about but it was something about you that’s for sure.” After Suna finished speaking he grabbed his water bottle and walked away.

You couldn’t focus on the last part of their practices, instead you were left wondering from Suna’s words. As practice concluded, you could hear the Miya’s bickering as you began leaving before Osamu called out to you, “Y/N-chan!” You stop in your tracks turning to face the twin jogging towards you, “can we talk for a second, please?”

“Oh sure.”

You and Osamu walked in silence, an awkward silence in drastic contrast to the usual comfortable silence before reaching a private area.

“I uhm- about earlier I’m sorry for like acting weird…” he said fiddling with his fingers, “it’s just ‘Tsumu sent me a stupid text and It’s just like bothering me and-”

“Osamu.” You cut him off, looking at him in the face, “can I kiss you? I know you said you wanted it to be someone you care about-”

Your words were cut off as Osamu placed his hand on your chin, pulling you closer before your lips collided. The world seemed to fade away as your lips met, a fusion of unspoken emotions and shared history. As you both pulled away, heat rising on both of your faces. Before Osamu let out a chuckle, “did ‘Tsumu get you too?”

“Mhm. Glad he did though.” You say wrapping your arms around, Osamu. 

“Fucking finally. You owe me some puddin’.” Atsumu said towards Suna, who just rolled his eyes in response.

©slut4msby.

[foundfam2754]

S17e10 (finale!) live reactions!

Spoilers…obviously

- AHHH this is it!! finally! here. we. go.

- yeah they better not hurt my kiddos thank you very much

-I’m telling you NOW. this is all about Elias. He’s the center of the conspiracy. that’s been my theory since e1. if he didn’t say anything about GS, none of this would have started

- of course, Emily’s kidnapped again. That HAS be in Paget’s contract or something

- where are JJ and Luke?? boyf and bff up to no good again

- what did Emily do?? what’s she being judged for?

- I KNEW IT. THEY WERE GONNA DO FLASHBACKS AGAIN

- tbh this has to be the least scary time that’s she’s been “abducted and interrogated” lol

- I KNEW IT. My “Emily abduction count” was 4

- this is the “dramatic and cry-y” outfit for Pen!!

- I think my theory is right!! if you have been reading my reaction posts every week you’ll know I have a theory about this season:

that the underlying conspiracy of the season being that they’re (BAU and the gold stars) doing everything Elias wants them to do - and it was all to get him out of jail and to screw over the BAU, and it all started with Bailey’s “gold star” in 16x10. especially because the only way they can resolve it is by confiding in voit. because he knows everything and how everyone really feels. and everyone’s priorities

- lol elias’ cell looks like a college dorm

- I KNEW IT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CONSPIRACY. - ELIAS. IS. THE. CENTER OF IT!!! I’m just so proud of myself

- OMG that’s not a spin I saw coming

- wait wait wait did I forget or did they JUST tell us about Emily’s sister

- aw man doug bailey’s such a good egg

- chaotic voit is so fucking funny

- also that’s a cool shot

- god doug bailey is *so* cute

- oh god - voit knew if bailey ended up on that wall, pete would fall into deeper into the conspiracy!! 🤯🤯

- BIT THROUGH HER TONGUE?

- how does emily end up being cool and such a bitch badass even when she’s in that much pain!??

- “Jenny?” ew

- “we can smell you later” HAHA

- haha I fucking love Tyler “thought experiment”

- “hey, Ty-Ty” “Lucas” I FUCKING LOVE CHAOTIC ELIAS

- oh my god Penelope, stay safe

- PEN PROTECTING TYLER!!! it actually threw him off, you could see his face, it’s the eye contact specifically that threw him off

- oh my god that’s horrifying

- this whole episode is the bau trying to throw Elias of and v/v

- oh god I forgot about emily

- is she about to say that she loved him? pls, I kinda liked them together

- also a lil inconsistency that bugs me; in 15x4, they said that you can never talk down a conspiracy theorist, a targeted individual - they just have to let them believe what they believe - so why is Em trying to convince them so hard, shouldn’t she profile them? idk

- wait I don’t get it, how does the board relate to the team coming?? wouldn’t they have booby trapped it either way? why does Luke dancing in a towel after his shower have anything to do with it??😂

- omg Luke

- OMG dave this is so smart

- Jade’s gonna do something isn’t she??

- I KNEW IT

- when is pen going to cry? im so unsure what kirsten’s insta post was about bc the ep is almost over

- “discretion is the better part of valor” - interesting

- wait are we getting profilers back?? now that she has more money

- Penelope’s house!!

- but also no more greencia pls

- pen and luke pls?? pls? pls. :(

- wuoh elias…

GREAT SEASON!!! but we deserved garvez

looking forward to 2026, when I can do these again :)

more to come as I reflect on the season, but thanks for sticking w me as I did these reactions!!

[cherubinym]

Hi! How about 1, 6 and 17?

Fav characters

Nymiera, Alexandra, Nim, Crescent, V, Eizen, Talon, Vitus, Puppet Master, Madame X

Damien, Reina, Saki, the mfs, Patty, Kreiss, Martin, Tesla

Delpha, Volta, Dylan, Erin, Kanon, Karen, Spector, Risa, Rhodea,

I like many people LOL. some of these are based off story and not how nice they are as People lmfao

6. Least favorite ships?

Ok obviously any straight up illegal/blood family/just Weird ones bc ew. Otherwise I'd say there's... not exactly ones I really hateeeee per say? Im pretty chill in general to just Observe. Like there's some I kinda don't get/vibe with but i wouldn't say I heavily dislike/hate any legal ones???

I mean ok I guess I can say any ones that disrespect canonically stated sexualities so shipping Venam w/ any men and Adam w/ any women and stuff like that. I'm also not Too fond of shipping like already married charas (so anything shipping Kreiss/Martin w someone else, Matthew/Chasity w someone else (besides Eizen/Matthew(/Chasity) as a crackship bc that's Kinda funny; tho i do imagine Eizen as somewhat aroacespec) etc.) Hazuki and any of Vitus's past spouses being excused from this bc their husbands suck ass. Also don't like any of the freshly 18 charas (Melia, Aelita, AGang possibly) being shipped w like the Way adults bc while they are technically now adults thru the story it's. hmmm. don't like that lmao. kinda falls under "das kinda weird bro" section and I Will be raising eyebrows. -Technically- can't condemn anyone for that but they will be Judged and put on a caution list.

Turns out I did have stuff to say but it's more just "anything that falls within this general concept group" hjsjsjhshj

17. Favorite Aevian form?

Ok I'm a widdle biased to my moth so like it's "among" my favorites BUT. Buuuuuuuuuuuut. I think if I gotta decide, Aevian Milotic. I love that thang so much. Special shoutout to ASigilyph, ALeavanny, AAmpharos. hehe <3

[wikiangela]

the boys 4x04 thoughts

oooh Homelander is gonna kill them all isn't he

god, ill never stop being in awe of Antony Star 🤩 he's just so good

oh Butcher 😪 how are they gonna save him, if at all??? I mean, I heard s5 will be last so I wouldn't be surprised if they killed him but not just yet??

I feel so bad for Hughie - but ngl, I don't see how this connects to literally anything else going on, idk, im not that invested lol

ooooohhhh godolkin four mention!!!! I miss them 😭 (rip chance perdomo 💔😭)

so they're all stuck wherever they are, vanished, yeah, but cate and sam are still out there, right? or did they get locked up too?? 👀👀

I feel so bad for colin and im dreading him finding out, its gonna be so bad 😭

it feels so shitty that frenchie is just dating this guy and now asking about his family, while he's responsible for their death

omg his mom went after little nina while frenchie worked for her??? oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

he's never seen frenchie's ankle when they were hooking up? come on lol

firecracker is so annoying - jfc bringing this shitshow at the starlight house front door smh - I mean, I get why, theyre all horrible, but its just so awful

and Butcher's back in? lol okay I like that

omg I almost forgot about Homelander's thing lol its so ominous and tense 😬

god, I feel for young John - honestly its no wonder he is how he is now 💁‍♀️

this time im all for homelander killing them all sns

the way kimiko has to text hughie bc only frenchie knows how to communicate with her smh - did any of them make any effort to learn even the basis 😫 it bothers me too much this season 🤣

Hughie wants to give V to his dad.... so that's how it connects lol Im not sure its a good idea hughie 😬😬😬 "haven't you learned anything" is a valid question 🤣

who tf is watching them 😬

is that the girl who knew kimiko??? oooh that makes sense, i forgot she did that 🤣

ngl im loving kimiko and hughie team up, we dont see enough of the two of them lol

aw, Butcher being honest for once 🥹

"he's up there with God" is soooo funny bc he played God 🤣🤣🤣

ewww firecracker wtf??? 🤢🤢 WOW she's gonna spin in to her favor isnt she 🙄🙄

ah, catholicism, when you confess you fucked a minor and they still praise you 👏🙄

why are they looking at her like that wtf, clearly she was a child who couldn't control her powers yet wtf

I really hope A-Train doesn't get caught 😬

why the fuck is Ashley there oh no - they're gonna keep each others secret tho right???

omg homelander is such a psycho 😳😳😳

choosing to watch the boys while eating is not a good idea, and yet i never seem to learn lol

oh my god??? annie had an abortion and they're broadcasting it to the public???? fuck you firecracker 😤 yesss kick her ass!

this won't be good for her public image but i bet it was satisfying in the moment lmao

wait, what the hell happened with Butcher and ezekiel??

I hope Homelander kills Barbara ngl

ooooooh frenchie told colin!!! oh my god 😳😭 valid reaction tho lol - killing his family is one thing, but dating him all this time without telling him??? yeah, thats psychotic and so bad and shitty, and frenchie deserved this - still feel so bad for him

uhhhh, why are we trusting deep to give you a lobotomy?? ew ew ew i cant look 🙈🙈🙈

oh Annie 😭😭😭 i feel so bad for her, hughie is right, thats such a violation 😤

things just got sooo much more messy 🤩

omg Butcher took some V! is that why whatever happened to ezekiel happened???

she gave him V.... what the hell

[aroace-poly-show]

Ive been told many times that my Kins are *very* concerning and I just think its funny lol- Also I didn't share the Atsushi/Akutagawa fic cause its got NSFW stuff in it and I try not to share NSFW fics around too often just incase someones a minor n stuff yknow?? Cause I don't wanna be like 'oh here this fanfic I really enjoyed it even tho I skipped the nsfw bots' and have someone be like 'ew I'm a minor why did you share this with me never talk to me again!!' and stuff- cause like even tho I'm ALSO a minor idk brain things yknow? either way Ranpo is ALSO one of my kins, but like,, all my kins come together to make one big amalgamation of A Single Kin Pile?? If that makes sense?? Like Atsushi and Akutagawa are the main two, but Dazai and Ranpo are always mixed with them cause while Atsushi and Akutagawa cover most of my stuff, Dazai and Ranpo cover the rest of it perfectly so they all come together as groups- Which is technically a weird way to thin about kins but still :p Also not enjoying ChuuAtsu is SO valid!!! I am a v big multishipper so I enjoy any and all NON CREEPY ships :D!!

i've been told my kins are concerning as well (ones i haven't mentioned) but dazai,,, damn bro skdjfh

ah that's okay!! i'm a minor too kjsdf, i was planning to skip the nsfw bits bc i also personally *really* dislike seeing nsfw stuff of my favorite ships, there's obviously nothing wrong with it but like i'm a sex repulsed (pretty sure) asexual so it's just my preference lol

and yeah what you said about kins makes sense bc that's really similar to how i explain it sldkjfd, atsushi covers a TON, poe and ranpo cover the bits that he didn't! :DD

i'm also a really big multishipper!! it's just a personal preference of mine kjsdgfjdk :DD

[ohgodimafraud]

Important questions:

Is Dabi scared of spiders?

Is Hawks?

Who deals with them and how?

V important questions. Dabi is NOT afraid (he is) kills w fire immediately.

As a meme I could see hawks eating a spider like a bird to Dabi’s absolute horror.

I think realistically hawks would be used to spiders bc I’m sure there were lots of bugs in his family home. I do like to imagine him shrieking tho thats funny. Or them both being like EW. Or hawks being like no Dabi they’re good bc they eat flies and stuff look at him :3 Dabi: *disgusted*

[kait16xo]

Dance Moms: A New Era Thoughts (Episode 5)

Good news for retro ALDC fans—I have the 2003 program book in my collection! I’m pretty sure I have the link to my drive somewhere on tumblr but if not I will pin it!

As usual, spoilers under the cut :-) Additionally, there is an emetophobia warning during the competition so keep in mind

* “Every week, Audrey’s the center of some huge drama” oh the cons of being the favorite

* Wow Bella actually got a lower third already? It took Gianna so long to get hers

* Why tf would Gina even be on the top of the pyramid 😭 then again Glo is…well

* “Then they should work harder!” So should you 💀

* Leilah absolutely reading Glo is making me giggle. She might be my favorite rn

* Someone tell Mina and the other kids they don’t suck. God I’m so sick of this formula

* Wow Audrey’s actually where she belongs?? Did someone check Glo’s temperature??

* ASHLAN’S ON THE TOP WERK! She genuinely deserves it. That trio was phenomenal.

* “I guess they made up at the breakfast table” is so funny given additional context

* Mina getting a solo amidst the Gina v. Audrey showdown: :D

* Mina’s interview about the group 😭 these kids are so silly I love them

* Poor Smiley. Not everyone can turn well but that doesn’t make her any less of a dancer. It sucks to see her so defeated

* Domenica crying in front of her kid lowkey gives me the ick but I get it at the same time

* Omg Rachelle Rak’s in this episode werk

* Them making snow angels before rehearsal is so cute

* HOLY SHIT AUDREY’S DOING A PRISCILLA PRESLEY SOLO? I JUST SAW HER AT A CON LAST WEEKEND

* “Elvis…” *starts moonwalking* “Wait that’s Michael Jackson” me too queen

* “Priscilla was only 14 when she met Elvis?…ew” good girl Audrey lol

* That zoom into Tammi in her interview took me clean out

* Gina’s doing a solo she already knows and the kids are going feral as expected

* Aww Mina and her Teddy 😭 stop it. Leave her teddy alone

* I find it so hard to believe this kid can be a brat lol

* This costume is rly cute

* “She’s doing the group dance” without the group is insane. Also YES GIRLS you get into that solo rehearsal

* Poor Smiley works so hard only to be benched :/ at least

* “Why did I have to join the team?” MY HEART

* Mina basically saying “idgaf” about her teammates is wild

* “Dan how much time do I have left I need to go poopy?” These interviews man lol

* WE WERE SO CLOSE TO AN EP WITHOUT ASHLAN CRYING COME ON

* Why tf would Gina and Jing say no to and opportunity from their teacher 💀 y’all need to be so serious

* Tammi playing a game with the kids to get them away from the drama was rly smart and I have a lot of respect for her now

* The juxtaposition of them playing mid fight is also rly funny thank you tammi

* Holy shit vomit jumpscare 😭

* “Welcome Gina” girl I’d fucking kms

* If your child is getting actively sick about the idea of giving away her security item then maybe don’t rush her into giving it up! There’s a fucking concept! Take her to a child therapist or something (:

* Ok so I had to switch to youtube mid episode so I had to watch Mina’s solo in PURE SILENCE LMAO. She still ate tho idc

* Mina’s emotional execution for her age is phenomenal

* Ok update we have the SLIGHTEST bit of audio for Gina’s solo but the quality is so bad lol

* THAT LEG HOLD TURN WAS PHENOMENAL OK MISS GIRL

* This kid genuinely dances like an angel

* Audrey smacking the camera…real asf

* That veil is cool as fuck. I also love her costume

* I cannot get past these audio cuts the youtube version has LMFAO

* The aerial at the end was not needed but she ate that emotional execution UPPPPP

* Poor Gina getting no kudos from her friends makes me sad. She did so beautifully too and she needs told that

* Glo’s voice was fighting for its life LOL. Also s/o to her for giving Gina SOME praise lol

* Level of unbothered: Smiley eating snacks bc she’s cut from the dance

* I love these costumes

* I knew Gina was gonna get the overall lol. She was so good

* Audrey…baby…it was just better choreographically. Tone it down

* They got first place group we’re so back

* “Nobody lost!” Omg all the solos got first? Work

* If Gina coming in causes a girl to get benched every week then your teacher isn’t good at her job. Follow me for more hot takes.

[bucksangel]

Hi! I saw your post about telling people you love them a lot so they don’t feel how you feel. I do the same thing for similar reasons. I don’t know you very well, nor you me, but can I suggest some things that have helped me in the past?

1) Fake it till ya make it- honestly, self-depreciation is awkward and sad for everyone. Sometimes it can be funny, but if you do it too often then it will genuinely mess with your own self-esteem. So, even if you don’t truly believe it,try exaggerated self-appreciation. I’m trying to think of an example, bug I dunno, say you trip over, get up, shake your fist at the sky, and say ‘God is jealous of me because I’m so cool!’ This did work for me sometimes and people noticed a difference.

2) I know it’s hard to believe you are loved when you’re not very kind to yourself. But rejecting the very idea that you are lovable is unhealthy and unkind. I know it sounds stupid, but I keep this little book. It’s just a list of nice people and nice things people do. Whenever I’m sad, if I’m thinking right in the moment, I get it and I re-read it or think of something new to write in it. It’s how I remind myself that I am loved, that people love me and here is the evidence.

3) Try and treat yourself as lovingly as though you were one of your friends.

I know you didn’t ask for advice or anything and maybe I misread your post, but it really resonated with me and I felt I had to reach out. Please look after yourself, my dear.

Lotsa love 😊😊😊

hi! i would genuinely like to thank you from the bottom of your heart bc this is really helpful!

i’ve started doing things similar to the first point (i.e i recently developed eczema out of nowhere and i’ve decided it’s because god thought i was just too pretty and needed to give the rest of y’all a chance) and it does help, i think last night was just something where nothing seemed to help but i think in the long run, doing this would def probably help

also that little book idea is v cute and i might do that too honestly. i’ll probably write “testimonials” or some shit from my friends to remind myself that ppl do like me, even if i don’t quite feel it yet

and though i didn’t ask for it, the advice is super helpful and always welcome!! i love learning new things/techniques to make my mind not so loud and overwhelming

i love you very much a lot and i hope your day/night is as wonderful as you are🤍

edit: i saw on facebook (ew i know) that saying the emotion your feeling over and over and over again makes it seem like not a real word and it kind of serves to help diminish the meaning and the feeling if that makes sense?

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

#i do still think ingo should be an unsundered who Forgot tho#to mirror the came from the future thing + match up w/ emmet and also bc it's hysterical#volo would honestly work so well as any of the ascians it's not fair#ES elidibus fandaniel... the potential in all of them#id prolly go fandaniel tho for the drama of him Forcibly Becoming giratina's heart#and also the motives match up v well#(and also that line just before he jumps. ough the drama. the chills)#but then he doesn't get to participate until ew which is sad#unleeeessss he's actually still doing a similar thing to canon pla and pretending to be a chill guy who is your friend#which actually makes him mirror ingo v well#alright. tag plotrant over

siiiiigh goddammit this is the incomprehensible xover obsession of the week aint it

unsundered!ingo is the Watcher. keeping an eternal vigil over giratina, making sure the wards don't degrade, and also probably supervising mare lamentorum (which in this au is probably run by their unova teams/something like that instead of loporrits? idk i haven't decided but i feel like that makes sense)

...until fandaniel!volo gets up to the moon somehow. with the aim of, obvi, breaking through the wards. he's got a Plan for how to deal with the one and only guard, but unfortunately ingo is still more powerful and quicker on his feet than volo's anticipating (being, yknow, unsundered, whereas volo's rolling with a shattered soul and some scrambled bestowed memories, i think he follows the fandaniel line of not being one of the originals bc that's fun and flavorful) so while volo does succeed in getting rid of the watcher, the efficacy gets nerfed and he also gets his spell flipped back around on him, and now they're both banished from mare lamentorum with no good way back. volo gets to keep his ascian memories bc he's got a little crystal thingy to remind him, but he no longer remembers his human pre-ascian life, and ingo, naturally, remembers absolutely jack shit.

(they don't wind up in the same place either bc otherwise volo would have immediately turned around and murdered the fuck out of ingo bc of how pissed he is. idk where they do end up tho. put a pin in that)

MEANWHILE i think it would also be fun and appropriate for kamado to be a fourchenault analogue. altho probably also participating in the scions at the start of the game? since i also wanna keep that he's like Running the protag's org. and then you get the turning-on-the-protag happening around the final days, which is very appropriate bc yknow, red sky event. idk why he never told anyone abt the loporrits tho. maybe bc he knew they'd never be on board with abandoning the planet? bunch of stupid idealists the lot of them

this is a lot of rambling anyway. i think also it would be very funny if when the protag gets to elpis and meets uh, regular emmet, in addition to getting sniped on the whole time travel thing completely out of nowhere, emmet upon hearing the story is also like YOU'RE the warrior of light?? hero of your time?? who puts a CHILD in charge of the fate of reality?? and the protag is like YOU, DUMBASS

thinking abt that silly ffxiv au again. this time it's also very self indulgent bc i'm imagining emmet as hydaelyn

[captainshyguy]

my mum: so is the thing on dimentio's head hat or hair, is it a part of him? or can he take it off??

me: g-good question????

[missmeinyourbones]

HELLO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THE AOT CHARACTER IVKS KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT BUT ALSO HAVE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ALMOST THREW UP SO THANK YOU!!!!

And!!!!

Can I ask for AOT character's as parents but like.. the stuff they do wrong that their spouse would get mad at them for and that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE like??? "Why did you use a solo cup to feed Charles?" "All the bottles were dirty." I am LIVING for this stuff rn 😭😂

this is so fucking funny please. i love a good crack post, esp when its aot characters being stupid. here are some aot characters x stupid parent moments. also thank u for reading the icks im super glad they made you laugh ^v^ 

eren doesnt feed his babies real food. like food that will actually provide their growing bodies w nutrients and vitamins. you ask him to pack their lunch for school and you look over and see him putting in the whackiest shit: a few peanuts, a bag of cheetos, some oreos, a singular laffy-taffy. hes sick for that. also when his babies are really young and cant eat solid foods yet hes like babe can i give them a bite of pizza? can i let them try this cookie? NAUR 

mikasa read once that talking to your baby in a normal adult voice provides faster growth and development so she refuses to talk in a baby voice or play with your kid in a child-like manner. she speaks to your baby like a normal ass person (which has its pros!) but is so fucking funny to see her converse with the 2 year old like theyre 30 and paying a mortgage. shes like “what would you like for a snack?” and the baby babbles complete nonsense and shes like “ok, i dont understand that, can you enunciate a little more?” or the baby is making a mess and shes openly says “stop. thats annoying” WHAT DO U MEAN UR BABY IS BEING ANNOYING LMFAOOOOO

armin is that weird parent that doesnt let his kid watch shows like spongebob because he thinks its somehow connected to witchcraft and doesnt teach ur kid anything. like he only lets ur kid watch tv if its an educational program (fun police fr). you come home to him and ur 3 year old watching a documentary on photosynthesis. LET UR BABY WATCH SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE DORA DAMN

mentioned this before but jean lets his kids pick out their own clothes to support their decisions and encourage self expression and confidence! but the issue w that is the fact that his kid is like 5 and picks the ugliest shit that does not match....like at all.....so they leave the house looking homeless. im talking you come home and ur kid is wearing neon orange pants with brown boots and a yellow and purple blouse that says something stupid like TROUBLEMAKER <3 and ur like jean. tell me they didnt leave the house like that. (they did.)

connie complains about changing ur kids diaper every time he does it. EVERY SINGLE TIME. he still does it, but not without being such a fucking baby about it. youve been home alone watching ur baby all day and connie finally comes home and u guys are hanging out and ur like babe can you please change them im exhausted from today and hes like EW it smells so bad :/ or GROSS IT GOT ON MY HAND >:( and you can feel your eye twitching bc ur covered in baby poop and spit from the entire day 

sasha openly swears around ur child and then acts dumb/surprised when they repeat her words. she doesnt even think to censor herself when ur baby cant talk yet so shes all FUCK and SHIT around the house. which is fine until your baby’s first word is bitch and shes like O.O WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT. you come home and shes like show mama/dada/whoever what you learned today! and ur baby looks you dead in ur eyes and says bitch.

reiner does puzzles with your kid but gets equally if not more frustrated than they do when he cant figure it out. theyre doing a butterfly puzzle and reiner is trying to teach them how to separate the corner and edge pieces first. once they get to the middle pieces, the two of them are putting any piece anywhere it kinda fits, trying every combination and turning each piece every which way. he starts to get overwhelmed because why is this puzzle for eight year olds so fucking hard and ur daughter notices and is like “dad, its ok, i kinda wanna play dolls instead anyways”

im stealing ur example w the bottle for porco because its so fucking him. so nonchalant he doesnt even think twice about it. hes like oh the bottles are all dirty? why would i LOGICALLY THINK TO WASH ONE when i could just give them formula in a plastic cup? hes so fucking stupid he doesnt understand that babies like struggle swallowing and cant sip and stuff so hes like why arent you drinking? must not be hungry :/ IDIOT

[chocolvte]

TXT REACTION — the members as your best friends

REQUEST — hi bae !! u r srsly one of my fav fic writers here and PLEASE don’t rush my req it’s ok !! take ! ur ! time ! queen ! but can i req txt as best friends hehe

LISTEN TO — heaven’s cloud by seventeen

YEONJUN

he became your friend in elementary school when you were little. he sat behind you and wouldn’t stop pulling your hair or poking at you with his pencil bc he thought you were cute.

but now you’re just besties!

he seems like the type to be v protective

when he doesn’t want to strangle you, of course, bc your past time is being as annoying as possible whenever you can

you have a cute dynamic: you’re a little brat and he puts up with you while making sure you don’t unknowingly wander into oncoming traffic or otherwise meet an early demise

SOOBIN

i’m getting taylor swift you belong with me vibes but like it could also be v platonic

you guys are just very close and understand each other better than anyone else

he always shows lots of interest in you and what’s going on with you. he likes listening to you talk about stuff that’s going on.

soobin is also v supportive! even if you’re obviously in the wrong, he’s still on your side no matter what lol

you guys also get really touchy sometimes bc that’s soobin’s love language so sometimes people mistake you for a couple

BEOMGYU

you guys definitely have a secret handshake

the two of you are the type to get coffee/food together whenever one of you asks, share lip balm, wear matching ruby rings on your index fingers, and have sleepovers where you binge all of the james bond movies.

gyu is def the type to encourage you to do all kinds of things you prob shouldn’t do, but your lives are never boring so you can’t complain.

he’s also fiercely loyal. just let someone try and say something about you around him and see what happens. he’s punched someone for you before and he’d do it again.

TAEHYUN

tae is like your rock. he’s a very reliable bestie.

he’s also very protective of you. older or younger, no one could ever hurt you on his watch. he would simply riot.

tae is always asking you to “hang out” with him and by that he means work out or go for a run or something lmao ew. and you’re like um no thanks. but he drags you along anyway.

and y’all get real fit and cute together only for you to be like “tae look at all my hard work!!! look at how it’s all paying off!!!”

and he’s like, “i’m sorry your hard work??? you would literally never move if it weren’t for me.” but he also lets you have your moment and takes cute pictures for you bc that’s what besties are for, duh.

HUENINGKAI

you guys almost never text. y’all just call each other and immediately start talking about whatever needs to be said.

“hey—”

“he cheated.”

“so we’re keying his car when ???”

huening’s always got your back 😌

he’s the type to defend you always, even if it was another friend saying something bad about you behind your back. he always takes your side, no matter what.

also you guys have matching bracelets <3

and lots of inside jokes. sometimes even just a glance at each other is enough to set you off and everyone is left going what’s so funny ??? but neither of you can stop laughing long enough to explain yourselves