#bc shes been put on a pedestal her whole life for her looks
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and i try to ignore it (but it’s everything i see)
@venux777
#biana vacker#kotlc#anyway do you ever think about how much that probably affected her#bc shes been put on a pedestal her whole life for her looks#and then suddenly☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️#vespera u really did not need to do all that. talk about overboard#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc fandom#keeperofthelostcities#kotlc thoughts#my art#keeper of the lost cites fanart#kotlc fanart#kotlc art#biana vacker art#keeper of the lost cities art#kotlc biana
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Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser
(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)
Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.
And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.
The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.
Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.
He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.
He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.
And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.
He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.
Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.
It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.
There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.
So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.
But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.
Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly
They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.
Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.
But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.
So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.
I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#jimcurly#jimcurl#jimmy x curly#curly x jimmy#tagging it as a ship bc I imply they have less than platonic feelings toward each other#No guy implies that his boy best friend is his home and he's his unless the two are in love#They love each other#it's an abusive and toxic codependent relationship#but what they feel for each other is genuine#anyway#Typical Mouthwashing trigger/content warnings obviously
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Newsies thoughts part 3
so I just finished watching Newsies 1992 for the fourth time, and noted down a bunch of things I noticed or thoughts I had. I didn't do this the third time I watched bc that one was with my brother and I wanted to focus on the movie and talking and joking with him lol.
anyway, I noted down a lot of things, so prepare for a long post. (these are in order of when I thought of them, and I'm typing them from my notes app so enjoy my train of thought/how my brain thinks)
1- shoutout to Mr Kloppman for taking care of the boys
2- what's the story behind the lady that comes in singing about her son in "Carrying the Banner"? she fucking slays, but I'm very confused about it
3- they're literally just a bunch of teenage boys who've been dealt an awful hand in life but try their best to keep everyone's morale up and stay positive (me realizing how sad the reality of the newsboys is)
4- all the older newsies taking care of and helping the little ones I love them so bad
5- you can tell how close the newsies are with each other I love it. family for real
6- why does Les carry a wooden sword almost the whole movie?
7- "this is my brother David. he's older" "oh, no kiddin'"
8- love love love how all the newsies just adopt David and Les into the group immediately
9- Pulitzer needs a magnifying glass to read the big-ass headline lmao
10- Seitz lowkey seems to kinda be on the newsies' side
11- why does the crowd boo when the old guy is holding up the "round 58" sign? (during the scene where there's a boxing match going on)
12- Les and Davey immediately follow Jack in running from Snyder even though they've never been in trouble with the law
13- Davey stops Les from putting his head in the horse mask thing (?) (when they're in Medda's theatre)
14- Jack just staring at Davey while Medda coos over Les
15- genuinely Jack did not need to pull Davey by his tie. he could've grabbed his shoulder, but no. had to pick the gayest option
16- Davey inviting Jack to his house after just meeting him literally like not even 12 hours ago. and then inviting him to stay the night?? down bad behavior for real. and he seems so nervous to introduce him to his parents too ??
17- Sarah Jacobs please give me a chance please please please
18- ngl the scenes with Jack and Sarah are a little bit like,,,cringe?? idk they just don't feel right idk if they have enough chemistry for Sarah to realistically be Jack's love interest
19- bro just casually steals a horse and no one goes after him ??? (during Santa Fe)
20- the stupid fucking calculation thing Pulitzer does with his arms omg it's so funny for no reason
21- Kid Blink either doesn't see or just doesn't care that one of the Delanceys is mocking him
22- Jack puts his hand like right next to Davey's face and then slowly moves it away lol (when Jack is asking Davey what he should say to the other newsies when first planning the strike)
23- Davey staring longingly at Jack while he's up writing "strike" on the board
24- "i need some of those...what do you call 'em?" "whatever you want!" (from a random newsie in the crowd, love whoever that was)
25- Spot Conlon hears Davey say one sentence and is like 'yeah this guy never shuts up once you get him going, i can tell' (hence "walking mouth")
26- who is the newsie that just appears behind Jack while they're in Brooklyn talking to Spot??
27- Mush and Davey friendship i love you so
28- where does Race get a harmonica from for "Seize The Day"?
29- love all the littles standing on the statue pedestal during "Seize The Day"
30- Jack and Davey jump up on the statue pedestal and start kicking each other. playing footsie, boys?
oh dear lord i did not realize i noted down this much holy shit
31- Davey immediately looking for Les when the cops show up
32- the Refuge needs better security at the gate cuz how did newsies sneak in TWICE
33- they had time to choreograph a whole dance routine bro (the little seize the day reprise thing)
34- "everyone remain calm" "let's soak 'em for Crutchie!"
35- Davey gets pulled away by someone in the crowd while trying to help Jack (during the big scene when they get ambushed by the police at the distribution place)
36- why are half of the Brooklyn guys grown ass men?? and they're intimidated enough by Spot Conlon to let him be the leader? man i love Spot Conlon he's so cool
37- Spot and Kid Blink lowkey friendship love it
38- Dutchy being horizontal for the picture
39- the workers at the restaurant just watching the chaos of "King of New York"
40- i hate Snyder's face. it makes me uncomfy
41- Sarah Jacobs, how is your hair perfect right after waking up tell me your secrets
42- if they wanted the Jack and Sarah love interest story to actually work better, they should've fit more scenes of them talking
43- nah cuz actually wdym Jack's "real" name is Francis?? he doesn't look like a Francis at all (this is just me being baffled that he could be named Francis, of all things)
44- who is letting Kid Blink hang off the fucking balcony bro he is nawt gonna land on his feet
45- Race and Blink being Medda's #1 hype men <3
oh my fucking god i'm so sorry this is so long i apologize profusely. if you've made it this far, go get a little treat for yourself
46- Jack and Davey are so grabby with each other when Davey is warning Jack about Snyder
47- Medda i love you !!! (tried to fight off the police to defend Race. "he's just a child")
48- how are the newsies losing the fight against the police? there's like a thousand of them and not as many of the police (or at least it seems there's a lot less police)
49- Denton trying to get to Jack when he's captured by the police
50- Race trying to gamble with the judge, he's so unserious
51- the look Jack gives Davey when Snyder starts telling the truth about Jack (his real name, his dad not being out West)
52- i keep accidentally mixing up Specs and Dutchy lol. probably cuz they both wear glasses (i feel so bad for this omg i'm so sorry Specs and Dutchy)
53- no yeah, security at the gate of the Refuge is awful. 6 boys snuck in at once !!
54- why did Pulitzer tell Jack to shut up and listen THREE TIMES when he wasn't even talking ???
55- Davey was just standing in the courtyard outside Pulitzer's, how did no one see him?? he wasn't even hiding, dude
56- Mush shows up to get the "Newsies Banner" papers twice - once by himself and again with Kid Blink
57- "can you read? read that" (Race making sure the kids will be able to read the paper love him for that)
58- Race and Les's little friendship moment is cute ("when the distribution bell starts ringin', will we hear it?" "nah")
59- Race's reaction to Roosevelt is funny. "Roosevelt!?" (bro is shocked)
60- Denton hanging out with Les while Davey gets his papes
61- Race cheering when Jack kisses Sarah. "Jackie boy!"
whew oh dear lord I am so so so sorry for this being so fucking long. I didn't even realize I had noted down so many things I feel bad for making folks have to read this whole thing if they want to see all my thoughts. maybe I should split this in half and have two posts instead of this long one?? idk let me know what you think. also, if I got the names wrong for any newsies, please let me know I'm still learning lol.
uh yeah, this post is over now. stay hydrated, get some rest, and stay cool
#newsies#newsies 1992#92sies#1992sies#1992 newsies#so many thoughts#i am so sorry#this is way too long#i will not ramble in the tags this time#i am going to sleep now#goodnight
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(this was part of a discussion from another post that I wanted to move to it’s own post bc this right here is the crux of my emotions for Iroh and Zuko and Azula; it does end kind of abruptly but yeah this is me wordvomiting my feels)
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Man the Iroh and Azula relationship in atla breaks my heart because, yes, there is favoritism - but the situations that built up to it are so specific and tragic on both ends (this is more of me rambling bc I have brainworms for this fam oughghghg if you read this thank you)
I do believe that Iroh did what he could to maintain a good relationship with both Zuko and Azula before he left for BSS. Zuko was 8, Azula was 6. That’s YOUNG. I almost wonder if she could remember what he looked like, because after Lu Ten’s death, I think he immediately took that journey before returning to the Fire Nation, thus there could have been another year or two+ until she saw him. She potentially went from ages 6-10 years old without seeing her uncle. Not to mention that even before Ursa left, Azula was already parroting Ozai’s rhetoric. Now with her mother gone, Azula had her father’s full attention and her friends (until the three were separated).
Zuko on the other hand, after his mother’s disappearance, didn’t have any friends from what we saw, nor did he have his father’s approval, and his relationship with Azula? We’re unsure of at this time, but all things considered, he’s had a resentment towards her because of the trauma Ozai is putting him through (which is also trauma to Azula by emotionally excluding her and putting her on a pedestal that he himself will topple). When Iroh returns, Zuko, who is most likely lonely AF, gives his uncle some attention, who then in turn, gives Zuko attention he’s wanted from one of his elders for a long time.
Azula, entrenched in Ozai’s teachings, resents Iroh for abandoning Ba Sing Se, and sees how he overindulges with tea and food to cope with the pain. She won’t be like him; and to even be seen near him by her father is embarrassing. But I’m almost certain she would see the relationship Zuko and Iroh were forging and it HURT. Iroh probably doesn’t force her to talk; that’s not the conversation he wants to have is to force her to spend time with someone she doesn’t want to be around. Besides, to anger Azula could lead to angering his brother, and he’s not at all ready for that mess. He of all people knows the almighty power of the Fire Lord; he was prepared to carry that glorious burden his whole life until it slipped from his fingers.
Ultimately Iroh is fine talking to just Zuko; but no one sees the seeds that are being planted. Iroh doesn’t realize how he’s still playing the game his father embedded in their minds. Iroh leaves Azula to her devices, unaware of how she is living the life that created and destroyed Iroh himself, while he can put his misplaced fatherhood upon Zuko. At this point, Zuko still just sees him as uncle.
And then the Agni Kai. Zuko is burned, and Iroh goes with him. I’m not entirely versed in the manga about Azula getting Zuko his ship, but I think it says a lot that Azula, even when upset that Zuko and Iroh had a relationship, made sure Iroh was part of the team because she knew Iroh could ensure Zuko’s survival. Plus it got him out of the palace so she wouldn’t have to keep seeing him or hearing his dumb laugh, or be invited to Pai Sho games (Which she did want to play but Uncle is SO ugh you know?)
And then three years pass. 3 long years in which Iroh and Zuko may not expect to go home. Iroh probably comes to terms with this; he’s older, jaded, still messed up from losing his son and everything that came with it. Zuko, however, wants his birthright (aka his father’s approval and love). Zuko and Iroh are waging this part of their lives together while Azula and Ozai are holding down the fort; she is becoming stronger and smarter, and has every ounce of her father’s approval.
I have a couple of headcanons as to why Iroh’s demeanor had a bit of a big change once we get to season 2. Nearly losing Zuko to the pirates made him realize how much he saw the boy as his surrogate son. So yes, the favoritism is there; they have endured things together for 3 years that have forged a bond that gives Zuko a father figure (that he didn’t really ask for) and Iroh a surrogate son (that he is more than willing to guide and smother) and this topic alone is enough to make me want to scream and wail because Iroh wanting nothing more than a second chance than to guide a son who wants his actual father who cares nothing for him and yet Iroh CONTINUES to try with Zuko? brain goes BRRRR
(but I also heavily headcanon Iroh’s presence during Yue’s sacrifice to have been a game changer in the way he carries himself and continues to live; but that’s just a headcanon; but the way that he watches a princess from a nation he has waged war upon sacrifice her life for a world she’s never seen when he’s lost his son and he almost lost Zuko and watching her fade away gives him stronger convictions to be a true father figure to Zuko; even if he’s still kind of bad at it for a while, his dedication to Zuko as a son really takes flight in the following season and I think this all ties together)
and then when Azula comes to collect them to take to Ozai and lies to Zuko about the thing he’s been wanting for 3 years. The thing that’s kept him up, ate away at him, the thing that SHOULD be natural - his father’s love. It’s a lie.
And Iroh defends his nephew unflinchingly from his sister - who is also just a pawn and a soldier, just like Iroh was. I personally like to imagine he taught her some of her skillset (but would she have retained it since she was last willing to learn from him around the age of 6? She is very smart after all).
But could Iroh have looked at Azula, realizing it was her that shot that lightning and, after Zuko called him a ‘shallow old man’, gone to Azula and asked what Ozai had put her through over the years? Or did he still revere the power of the Fire Lord, and the magnitude of power Azula holds.
This leads to one big problem with the family - communication. Especially for Iroh. Communication SUCKS in this family. Zuko is so volatile that Iroh often cannot bring himself to really explain things to Zuko in a clear way, which doesn’t help because Zuko NEEDS to be spoken to clearly because he does not get metaphors and proverbs - but is Iroh really even the best person to explain to Zuko that his father is hurting both him and his sister? When Zuko wants so desperately to go home and be loved? And yet hearing that his sister is suffering would enrage him when she’s only been adored by Ozai. And even then, if Iroh acknowledges Azula’s suffering, he doesn’t act to help her. Could he though? He doesn’t give up on Zuko (who struggled for validation) but he never attempts with Azula (who had the Fire Lord’s entire approval).
For Season 2, everything about Zuko and Iroh is the path to stay alive and stay free… which they’re not free. They never will be again because the Fire Nation wants them and in order to stay safe they must seek refuge indefinitely in BSS. Thus, they must avoid Azula, who is willing to enact on her father’s orders (he IS the Fire Lord, after all). Azula has also shot Iroh with fire. Yes, Iroh is much older and Azula is 14; but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a point that Iroh looks at her and sees her traveling with her friends, facing the Avatar, besting Iroh himself in a situation and as he wakes up from his injuries after she attacks him, he goes ‘I’m done.’ He would continue to put all of his efforts on Zuko. There is a very potential life or death situation with them being wanted, and Iroh won’t relive losing a child under his care.
And yet he would know where Azula’s life is eventually going to lead her, because he was once her. But he left the Fire Nation to escort Zuko and to keep him safe. Zuko did everything he could to try and finish his father’s task, and now his efforts have only landed him a wanted poster. Azula has the Fire Lord’s blessing and her crown - Zuko and Iroh are all each other have, and they also have the bounty on their heads. The efforts Azula put through to ensure that Iroh kept Zuko safe have now reversed, and they are actively evading her as enemies. The painful irony.
Had Ozai never sent her out to collect them, I absolutely think Iroh would still remain open to his niece. Unfortunately, Ozai continues to task her with ways to divide her from her family and therefore keep her closer to his will. By entrusting her with their capture, he alienates her from her shamed brother and uncle, and then gives them reason to have grief with her and not want to be in her life as she actively and willingly serves her father, not once hearing them out on their side of the story. They are rushing to find a way to stay out of chains and survive while she flawlessly continues her family’s goals.
What if she was never tasked with capturing them? But was still traveling the Earth Kingdom to broaden the Fire Nation’s reign? What if there had been a point when she wasn’t poised to capture them or attack them? I can still see Zuko naturally being bitter that she’s there. Iroh may still even be wary, as having her around after they have not achieved a goal means failure and capture (which is what I reason their reactions to her showing up in The Avatar State to be; they immediately know something is off because without a letter, without warning, Azula shows up in full armor after they have not achieved their goal of capturing the Avatar; and Iroh heard lightning earlier, and if it wasn’t Ozai and he deduces it was Azula? Oh lord she knows how to conjure lightning now which means they’re in deep sludge); but imagine if she’s just there to start her overseas military career, not to capture them. What if she knew they were wanted? What if they saw her, knowing they’re wanted, and they avoid her until they come face to face with her and she’s even more hurt that they immediately believed she would be cold enough to turn them in? They really thought that low of her? lol okay HEY GUARDS. Or what if she was like ‘Zuzu I made sure you had that ship and crew, you really think I’d turn you in?’ Or the opposite? In which Zuko sees Azula and knows they can trust her, but the more they get help from her the more she worries that Ozai is going to learn that she’s been secretly helping them through their escapades as wanted men? What if it had been Azula that got them their passports to BSS and was like ‘go here and stay out of my hair I am BUSY and I can’t keep risking my neck for you like this’.
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why was i like that (tl;dr in tags)
today i clicked on sgc's ig profile and saw that they use they/them pronouns now. and it makes me want to cry.
bc even tho we Literally went to high school together-ish (they were 3yrs after me?) we had such different experiences.
i was a Girl who hung out with guys who didn't respect me, went out with a boyfriend who was nice to me, and was too shy / awkward / busy being that shy nerd stereotype [1] that i had no "deep friendship". you could ask anyone anything about me and they wouldn't know the answer! and i wouldn't know anything about them!! [2] bc we were a small class (169) and everyone in town was a mix of neighbor and cousin, i got my invites to parties and dances, but i overall felt like i was on autopilot. i don't remember my life until i was ~16 [3]!! why!!!
i think a lot about how dr uju anya had a whole husband and child but over time realized she was a lesbian. not to parasocialize too much with this academic weapon, but i feel like i also had this experience (to a much smaller / younger degree). and i feel so sad thinking about how i could've saved so much pain in high school if i had just known i wasn't wired to like guys like that [4].
and i remember lindie [5], someone who's ~30 now and has been with her now-husband since she was ~13. one day we had a good phone call (post-hs-graduation) and she told me that for literally everyone else she could possibly see romantically / sexually, she's a lesbian. but she and her husband have literally Grown Up together. her love for him is something that goes beyond platonic / romantic / sexual attraction. it's a life partnership in every sense of the term.
this phone conversation lit a lightbulb in my summer 2019 brain. i knew that this high school bf of mine could be a life partner. we started dating when i was 11 or 12 and !!! we both saw each other grow up (at least to some degree). but something in the pit of my stomach told me i couldn't live a lie like that. it wouldn't be fair to him for me to have this self-discovery and just .. continue as if it didn't happen?
and so when someone said that dr. uju's pre-lesbian marriage was "sad" bc she didn't know she was a lesbian, i got (in my head) defensive. bc "it's totally possible to be happy and ignore this part of yourself!" (it's not).
for the longest time i told myself that being bisexual was the easiest sexuality to have bc i knew i liked women and i could always just end up with a guy to make my family happy, if i had to, ya know? i got mentally defensive when ppl online said that "invisibility is not a privilege" and "biphobia is real" bc i was subconsciously using this label as a way to hide the fact that the mere thought of a life with a man made me anxious / nauseous / scared.
and boy did that fear kick into overdrive anytime i was around a guy. if he even smiled at me, i'd go a little silly. it didn't even matter if he was straight, bi, ace, gay, or anything, i'd just latch onto the fact that it was a Man talking to me and i couldn't stop thinking about them and any comment they made that made them seem bored / annoyed at me made me spiral about my self-worth. but if there was ever a case that i Thought they even Maybe had an interest in me, i'd get nauseous again. to this day i feel like i still put guys up on a pedestal so i just have ... no guy friends [6].
this novel is a silly way of saying the following things.
the label "lesbian" is a vibe rn
heartstopper is a painful show for me to watch
sorry if ur a guy i met before i turned 20 that i was weird around : ( /nbh
sgc looks so happy. they're out and they look so happy. why couldn't that be me.
why was i like that.
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[1] i had a goofy jock bf tho so was it really so bad?
[2] and to a certain degree this continues today? i don't know how to hold a conversation, i don't know how to ask questions, i don't have good memory of the conversations i Do manage to hold, my #1 fear is playing the newlyweds game with literally anybody. i once described making friends as 'learning a person's scripts / common conversation topics' and the other person in the room just kinda said 'haha yeah...' and i continued to pset :skull:
[3] and 16-17 was my sad era where i cried basically any time my bf and i were alone together. that man was so patient w me lmao
[4] why do i always say no? why can't i just calm down? why is it weird to describe us as 'friends but we also make out'?
[5] one of the coolest ppl i know. (death + suicide mentioned in this footnote) she was the french teacher that replaced my old french teacher after she died, and lindie really suffered for us. bc it was a catholic school, she was forced to cover up her tattoos, and she had to wear longer clothes (admin always told her to cover up even when she was wearing Long Clothes). she went through so much (miscarriage, lost here sense of self, etc.) and was literally suicidal but she still showed up for us. one of my fav teachers and an inspiration to this day.
[6] except for the two dudes (that might be) reading this, y'all are cool and literally the best. afaik i've been Normal around y'all so yay! growth!!
#tl;dr: if it wasn't obvious i used to be a pick-me LMAO but now i'm better (nonbinary lesbian? that seems good for now)#/nbh = nobody here (tone tag)#this is a jumbled mess#pls don't feel pressured to read this#just hit that like button and keep scrolling wahfioejwa#dash rambles#coming out#sorta
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describe your moots in one word?
Oh shit here we go.
I scrolled down my following list so if we're moots and you're not here it's literally bc I probably don't believe you follow me bc I have set you on a pedestal of some kind. And if you're on here and we're not actually moots it's probably just because I really really like you and your blog 😅
@dark-mnjiro ~ psychic. Lee somehow knows what I like without me having to say anything, sends me manga panels that have me climbing walls when i’m on the cusp of zoning from boredom, and introduces me to characters that turn me into some kind of feral territorial creature howling to the gods about my love for a character ive literally seen two pics of. We went from non interactive moots not knowing each other to talking all the time on discord within a few conversations and now im like what would I do without this friendship?
@knchins ~ supportive! We haven't been moots very long at all but you've been kind to me and my writing manic keysmashes despite the short time, but thats the vibe I've gotten! And you are responsible to turning my mind toward spoiled Reo brainrot, i dont think i will ever thank you enough for Renunion hehehe
@boosyboo9206 ~ safe. It's really easy to talk back and forth with you and i love the way my heart flutters when send me puppy pics and art of my favorite pairings because that alone tells me that you’re thoughful enough to be thinking of me, and I’m so grateful that you don't judge me for being so awful with communication lol.
@kingkatsuki / @kingkunigami ~ assertive. its like jo really has her own brand and always just seems so unshakable, has the patience to respond to the constant stream of blank blogs asking why they’ve been blocked like its not obvious already. i love knowing when i go to her blog that im going to see her being herself. on top of her fabulous writing of course, im on her blog more than its healthy to admit.
@killsaki ~ real. Every time i’m scrolling their blog i find something to either cackle or bite my fist about. Dal is my favorite blog for unfiltered thoughts about their faves and just their life in general. if we met in real life im dead certain they’d be a friend i could count on to call me on my bullshit
@cyancherub ~ vibrant. Everything cass does is done brightly with all of her love. Her interactions with her followers are so lovely and its easy to see how much she enjoys hearing from everyone. And I can trust her to put her whole pussy into any of her fixations, and her fixations are ~top~ tier. While you were sleeping is still easily my favorite thing she’s ever written, ive read it through like 4x and it still leaves me breathless with its characterizations, the descriptions that im not sure she was even breathing as she wrote them, the energy is so wild and intense, and yet how well thought out everything is on top of it!
@iwaasfairy ~ talentedddd. Fairy is either making me wet with her writing or leaving me soaked with her art, living the life of being amazing at more than one creative outlet. I thank the universe that we’re friends and that she trusts me enough to send me the snippets that she’s working on and letting me howl at her in discord about how awesome her shit is. I get some of the first looks and I’m damn proud of that hehehe.
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hi suz! i hope the rest of your week was good!
i know what you mean about 2x05 especially, it always bothers me. i swear, on my death bed i'm gonna be like "the drew crew's treatment of nancy in 2x05 was unfair and while they "apologized" i wanted a more substantial apology, especially because nancy never forced them into anything with the agleaca" and everyone is gonna be like "okay, can you please move on from this?" lol. i agree about the wraith storyline, i think that one and nancy being lucy and ryan's daughter are the strongest storylines they had on the show and were the best executed (but regardless, the writers always managed to leave me surprised, they definitely knew what they were doing!)
i love that rep is so special to you 🧡 i love that about taylor albums; she seems to always release something when someone needs it most. what's your favorite song from rep? mine is probably call it what you want, but i always go feral when don't blame me, i did something bad, or look what you made me do come on hdsbfsdabfldsa the eras tour transition from dbm into lwymmd??? absolutely brilliant.
awwww the lakes is such a gorgeous song! i know what you mean, it makes me feel so soft and i love that. atw 10 will always be that bitch for me, it's just iconic! the great war is absolutely the nace song of all time, like holy shit they WENT THROUGH IT but they really did survive the great war 😭 every taylor song is absolutely about nace, i will not be taking questions at this time. and yes, that line of long story short absolutely makes me think of them, especially "and he feels like home" bc of "ace is my person" and timeless works so well, especially with the whole "ace will always be able to find you" thing. temperance may have put a death curse on them, but in the end she just made their connection even stronger so, joke's on you, blondie!
not state of grace for ryan and lucy i'm gonna lose it 😭😭😭😭 no but really that's so perfect for them.
i'm never sorry when asking taylor swift questions, i could talk about taylor's music all day long! i know i already asked your favorite taylor song, but what would you say are your favorites from each album? (i love asking people this question lol)
i do celebrate thanksgiving and had a nice relaxing time at home, thank you! are you looking forward to the holiday season? do you have any traditions that you're looking forward to?
lots of love, your secret sleuth 🧡🔎
Hi! My week was okay, busy, but I got some stuff done, so I'm just glad it's a new week and I can rest a bit more. How about yours?
I am so happy someone agrees. I usually always see people defending the crew, but so rarely do I see someone actually saying that their treatment was wrong and there should have been more apology for it. And yeah! The writers were great at plot twists for sure. I never saw them coming.
That's tough because rep is full of bangers! But I do also go feral for Don't Blame Me (the reputation stadium tour version is like... stuff dreams are made of). I think top spot would go to either call it what you want OR king of my heart, with honorary mention of getaway car. And I just named like half of the album. Rep is just that bitch! Also, the transition from DBM to LWYMMD was WILD. Like out of this world religious experience, 11/10, would recommend to everyone.
taylor swift truly never beating those nace shipper allegations, ykwim? Also have you noticed that this verse of long story short:
And I fell from the pedestal / Right down the rabbit hole / Long story short, it was a bad time / Pushed from the precipice / Clung to the nearest lips / Long story short, it was the wrong guy
was literally written about nace?? Fell from the pedestal - Nancy recanting her testimony against Everrett to save Ace's life. And clung to the nearest lips - Gil, Park, take your pick...
Haha well I'm glad, because I definitely, ahem, got carried away again. I'm just very passionate about taylor swift lyrics and nace okay. That's fine.
Oh, such a fun question!
Debut - gotta go with Picture to Burn, such a fun song I never get tired of singing in my car.
Fearless - The Way I Loved You (also Mr Perfectly Fine)
Speak Now - Last Kiss and Timeless
1989 - Out of the Woods (but the og, they really changed it on TV and I can't listen to that version)
reputation - call it what you want / king of my heart
lover - death by a thousand cuts
folklore - exile / illicit affairs
evermore - willow
midnights - would've could've should've / the great war
That's great! I'm glad you had a nice time ☺️ I am... not the biggest fan of the holidays 🙈 It's not usually the most fun time for me, but I am determined to make the most of it, so yeah, I'm looking forward to old Christmas songs and mulled wine and good food, and most of all, my SS gift! I'm so excited bc I feel like we're vibing and you get me, so it'll be perfect. How about you? Any fave traditions I can steal?
Lots of love to you my secret sleuth, and I your message totally made my week. Thanks for letting me ramble about taylor swift and nace.
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I love that we're getting to see Carlos's flaws explored more this season. I love that we've gotten to learn so much more about him and that we've seen him confronting his issues. Carlos is not really a *main* character in the way the 126 members are so he naturally doesn't get as much screen time but this season we are getting the growth that his character really needed. We saw such wonderful growth this episode in particular. While Carlos may have attempted to avoid and deflect at the start, the fact that he sought Andrea out and talked to her is in itself a far cry from the person who couldn't even tell his parents that he had a boyfriend. And even though he tried to deny that he avoids things when Andrea points it out, he does realize that this is exactly what he's doing and he needs to be honest with TK about his feelings. And then he goes to TK and is honest. And you can see the relief when he realizes that TK loves him just the way he is and that nothing else is more important to either of them than having each other.
That being said, I'm uncomfortable with the way some people have reacted to seeing his flaws explored. The more I think about it, the more I get the feeling that the people who got so mad at Carlos earlier this season and then again with the promo for 4x12 are people that are uncomfortable with the idea of Carlos no longer belonging on the pedestal they'd always put him on. Because the thing is, Carlos has always been this way right from the moment we see him from the first time in the pilot. You can see that passive-aggression and deflection right from the start. But bc he didn't have as much screentime at the start, it was easy for people to ignore those flaws and pin the blame onto TK for whatever conflict they had. This continued over the past 3 seasons. Even with the breakup where it's stated that Carlos bought a house without talking to TK about it, people focused on TK's role and absolutely blasted him. The thing is, while there probably are people who've been upset with Carlos for TK's sake this season bc we never get to see TK express his hurt over Carlos keeping his marriage a secret or his behavior towards him in 4x03, I don't think we can just say that TK stans are the only ones upset this season bc they don't like that Carlos isn't perfect for TK anymore. Because if that's the case, then what about all the people who say that TK isn't good enough for Carlos? What about the people who wanted Carlos to make TK work for his forgiveness after the breakup? What about the people who've been complaining about how unequal their relationship is from s1? Or that they want to see TK prove his love for Carlos in a more obvious way? Presumably it's not TK stans doing that. And this mentality is still their in s4. Even after the whole secret marriage and kidnapping arc, I can still see people say that TK isn't good enough. Seriously, all you have to do is look through comments on any site and you'll see it. Even people who express their (valid) discomfort at seeing Carlos with a gun or seeing him in cop mode have gotten attacked. The feeling I get is that at least some of the anger is coming from people who are now scrambling bc we are being made to confront Carlos's flaws head-on and there is no one to pin the blame on this time. TK can't be blamed for Carlos keeping his marriage a secret especially since he reacted so well. And I know there were people who tried to blame Iris for it then even though Carlos hadn't even gone to see Iris since she returned. And it seems like the lack of having someone else to put the blame on made people even more upset at Carlos. But then the anger at Carlos having kept his marriage a secret went away after 4x02 when we see that Tarlos is as committed as ever. And then it came back in 4x03 only to disappear again after 4x04 when we have Carlos telling TK that Carlos's life is his. And then with Carlos not wanting kids, that can't be blamed on TK either and I think yet again that frustration of not having anyone else to put the blame on anyone else contributed to the anger towards Carlos. Although I will say that not wanting kids is a completely valid choice regardless of your reasoning and really not something that we should be assigning blame to. Being upset at seeing a character you have put on a pedestal exhibit flaws is understandable but this is all the more reason why you shouldn't put characters on pedestals. Just like in real life, if you put someone on a pedestal they will eventually fall off of it and it will hurt worse. Besides, it's the characters that are flawed that are the most interesting precisely bc those are the realistic ones. Carlos has always been flawed and his flaws are what make him realistic and interesting.
I also want to say that people are allowed to be frustrated at Carlos's actions. We should be able to be understanding while still acknowledging a character's flaws and mistakes. I know people were upset that Carlos kept his marriage a secret from TK for their entire relationship and that's valid. Just like it was valid that they were upset by his behavior towards TK in 4x03. I think the frustration was made worse bc people who did express their upset over Carlos's behavior were made to feel that they weren't allowed to be. And I know that there are a lot of people who felt that it was unfair that after 3 seasons of watching TK be blamed for every conflict, they were made to feel like they weren't allowed to be upset on TK's behalf. I suspect that the reaction to Carlos saying he doesn't want children was affected by the latent frustration from earlier this season. And I also know that some people were upset bc it felt like their fantasy of dad!Tarlos had been taken away. As I've pointed out before though, this doesn't mean that you can't enjoy fanfic anymore. The beauty of fanfic is that it can give us things canon doesn't. There's plenty of great dad!Tarlos fics out there already. And remember that the conversation on the show has been left open-ended. They may well decide to have kids later on but for now nothing is stopping you from enjoying plenty of dad!Tarlos fics.
I do understand that knee jerk responses are a natural thing when we see dramatic scenes with conflict like we did with 4x12 but I don't like how these knee jerk responses can snowball and then others see those responses and then respond themselves until before you know it people on all sides are getting hurt. Remember that the whole point of these promos is to illicit a strong reaction and that promos don't tell the whole story. The one for this episode certainly didn't. I am glad to see that now that we've seen the episode and we've seen the growth for Tarlos as both individuals and a couple, the anger has faded again. The next time we are shown a dramatic clip where it seems like they are in conflict, remember that just bc they're shown to be having a conflict doesn't mean that the conflict is as big as the one clip makes it seem. Remember that we know no matter what happens, Tarlos will always come out of their conflict better and stronger. We've seen that enough times now that we know that's one thing that will always be true
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Thank you!!
Man the Iroh and Azula relationship in atla breaks my heart because, yes, there is favoritism - but the situations that built up to it are so specific and tragic on both ends (this is more of me rambling bc I have brainworms for this fam oughghghg if you read this thank you)
I do believe that Iroh did what he could to maintain a good relationship with both Zuko and Azula before he left for BSS. Zuko was 8, Azula was 6. That’s YOUNG. I almost wonder if she could remember what he looked like, because after Lu Ten’s death, I think he immediately took that journey before returning to the Fire Nation, thus there could have been another year or two+ until she saw him. She potentially went from ages 6-10 years old without seeing her uncle. Not to mention that even before Ursa left, Azula was already parroting Ozai’s rhetoric. Now with her mother gone, Azula had her father’s full attention and her friends (until the three were separated).
Zuko on the other hand, after his mother’s disappearance, didn’t have any friends from what we saw, nor did he have his father’s approval, and his relationship with Azula? We’re unsure of at this time, but all things considered, he’s had a resentment towards her because of the trauma Ozai is putting him through (which is also trauma to Azula by emotionally excluding her and putting her on a pedestal that he himself will topple). When Iroh returns, Zuko, who is most likely lonely AF, gives his uncle some attention, who then in turn, gives Zuko attention he’s wanted from one of his elders for a long time.
Azula, entrenched in Ozai’s teachings, resents Iroh for abandoning Ba Sing Se, and sees how he overindulges with tea and food to cope with the pain. She won’t be like him; and to even be seen near him by her father is embarrassing. But I’m almost certain she would see the relationship Zuko and Iroh were forging and it HURT. Iroh probably doesn’t force her to talk; that’s not the conversation he wants to have is to force her to spend time with someone she doesn’t want to be around. Besides, to anger Azula could lead to angering his brother, and he’s not at all ready for that mess. He of all people knows the almighty power of the Fire Lord; he was prepared to carry that glorious burden his whole life until it slipped from his fingers.
Ultimately Iroh is fine talking to just Zuko; but no one sees the seeds that are being planted. Iroh doesn’t realize how he’s still playing the game his father embedded in their minds. Iroh leaves Azula to her devices, unaware of how she is living the life that created and destroyed Iroh himself, while he can put his misplaced fatherhood upon Zuko. At this point, Zuko still just sees him as uncle.
And then the Agni Kai. Zuko is burned, and Iroh goes with him. I’m not entirely versed in the manga about Azula getting Zuko his ship, but I think it says a lot that Azula, even when upset that Zuko and Iroh had a relationship, made sure Iroh was part of the team because she knew Iroh could ensure Zuko’s survival. Plus it got him out of the palace so she wouldn’t have to keep seeing him or hearing his dumb laugh, or be invited to Pai Sho games (Which she did want to play but Uncle is SO ugh you know?)
And then three years pass. 3 long years in which Iroh and Zuko may not expect to go home. Iroh probably comes to terms with this; he’s older, jaded, still messed up from losing his son and everything that came with it. Zuko, however, wants his birthright (aka his father’s approval and love). Zuko and Iroh are waging this part of their lives together while Azula and Ozai are holding down the fort; she is becoming stronger and smarter, and has every ounce of her father’s approval.
I have a couple of headcanons as to why Iroh’s demeanor had a bit of a big change once we get to season 2. Nearly losing Zuko to the pirates made him realize how much he saw the boy as his surrogate son. So yes, the favoritism is there; they have endured things together for 3 years that have forged a bond that gives Zuko a father figure (that he didn’t really ask for) and Iroh a surrogate son (that he is more than willing to guide and smother) and this topic alone is enough to make me want to scream and wail because Iroh wanting nothing more than a second chance than to guide a son who wants his actual father who cares nothing for him and yet Iroh CONTINUES to try with Zuko? brain goes BRRRR
(but I also heavily headcanon Iroh’s presence during Yue’s sacrifice to have been a game changer in the way he carries himself and continues to live; but that’s just a headcanon; but the way that he watches a princess from a nation he has waged war upon sacrifice her life for a world she’s never seen when he’s lost his son and he almost lost Zuko and watching her fade away gives him stronger convictions to be a true father figure to Zuko; even if he’s still kind of bad at it for a while, his dedication to Zuko as a son really takes flight in the following season and I think this all ties together)
and then when Azula comes to collect them to take to Ozai and lies to Zuko about the thing he’s been wanting for 3 years. The thing that’s kept him up, ate away at him, the thing that SHOULD be natural - his father’s love. It’s a lie.
And Iroh defends his nephew unflinchingly from his sister - who is also just a pawn and a soldier, just like Iroh was. I personally like to imagine he taught her some of her skillset (but would she have retained it since she was last willing to learn from him around the age of 6? She is very smart after all).
But could Iroh have looked at Azula, realizing it was her that shot that lightning and, after Zuko called him a ‘shallow old man’, gone to Azula and asked what Ozai had put her through over the years? Or did he still revere the power of the Fire Lord, and the magnitude of power Azula holds.
This leads to one big problem with the family - communication. Especially for Iroh. Communication SUCKS in this family. Zuko is so volatile that Iroh often cannot bring himself to really explain things to Zuko in a clear way, which doesn’t help because Zuko NEEDS to be spoken to clearly because he does not get metaphors and proverbs - but is Iroh really even the best person to explain to Zuko that his father is hurting both him and his sister? When Zuko wants so desperately to go home and be loved? And yet hearing that his sister is suffering would enrage him when she’s only been adored by Ozai. And even then, if Iroh acknowledges Azula’s suffering, he doesn’t act to help her. Could he though? He doesn’t give up on Zuko (who struggled for validation) but he never attempts with Azula (who had the Fire Lord’s entire approval).
For Season 2, everything about Zuko and Iroh is the path to stay alive and stay free... which they’re not free. They never will be again because the Fire Nation wants them and in order to stay safe they must seek refuge indefinitely in BSS. Thus, they must avoid Azula, who is willing to enact on her father’s orders (he IS the Fire Lord, after all). Azula has also shot Iroh with fire. Yes, Iroh is much older and Azula is 14; but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a point that Iroh looks at her and sees her traveling with her friends, facing the Avatar, besting Iroh himself in a situation and as he wakes up from his injuries after she attacks him, he goes ‘I’m done.’ He would continue to put all of his efforts on Zuko. There is a very potential life or death situation with them being wanted, and Iroh won’t relive losing a child under his care.
And yet he would know where Azula’s life is eventually going to lead her, because he was once her. But he left the Fire Nation to escort Zuko and to keep him safe. Zuko did everything he could to try and finish his father’s task, and now his efforts have only landed him a wanted poster. Azula has the Fire Lord’s blessing and her crown - Zuko and Iroh are all each other have, and they also have the bounty on their heads. The efforts Azula put through to ensure that Iroh kept Zuko safe have now reversed, and they are actively evading her as enemies. The painful irony.
Had Ozai never sent her out to collect them, I absolutely think Iroh would still remain open to his niece. Unfortunately, Ozai continues to task her with ways to divide her from her family and therefore keep her closer to his will. By entrusting her with their capture, he alienates her from her shamed brother and uncle, and then gives them reason to have grief with her and not want to be in her life as she actively and willingly serves her father, not once hearing them out on their side of the story. They are rushing to find a way to stay out of chains and survive while she flawlessly continues her family’s goals.
What if she was never tasked with capturing them? But was still traveling the Earth Kingdom to broaden the Fire Nation’s reign? What if there had been a point when she wasn’t poised to capture them or attack them? I can still see Zuko naturally being bitter that she’s there. Iroh may still even be wary, as having her around after they have not achieved a goal means failure and capture (which is what I reason their reactions to her showing up in The Avatar State to be; they immediately know something is off because without a letter, without warning, Azula shows up in full armor after they have not achieved their goal of capturing the Avatar; and Iroh heard lightning earlier, and if it wasn’t Ozai and he deduces it was Azula? Oh lord she knows how to conjure lightning now which means they’re in deep sludge); but imagine if she’s just there to start her overseas military career, not to capture them. What if she knew they were wanted? What if they saw her, knowing they’re wanted, and they avoid her until they come face to face with her and she’s even more hurt that they immediately believed she would be cold enough to turn them in? They really thought that low of her? lol okay HEY GUARDS. Or what if she was like ‘Zuzu I made sure you had that ship and crew, you really think I’d turn you in?’ Or the opposite? In which Zuko sees Azula and knows they can trust her, but the more they get help from her the more she worries that Ozai is going to learn that she’s been secretly helping them through their escapades as wanted men? What if it had been Azula that got them their passports to BSS and was like ‘go here and stay out of my hair I am BUSY and I can’t keep risking my neck for you like this’.
But I have gone off topic and super rambled and I should be going to bed lmao but give me reason to ramble about this family and I will run with it. They are painfully human and messed up and SAD and I wish their resolutions post-canon were better than what we got.
So yk that whole thing with the fn royal family where it seemed like every time theres more than one sibling one is 'favored' and ones a scapegoat?
Do you think iroh would have followed this pattern if he had more than one child?
Interesting question! I suppose he might have, but it's hard to say. We don't really know much about how Iroh was in his younger years, after all. @peony-pearl what do you think?
#atla meta#I just SJDFLKSDJKLFJ#this family#again if you read this#thank you#I just#oughhghghgh#got brainworms
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Honestly, people running Kobe’s estate have done a great job at history revisionism and they even had an LA Times writer fired for writing an article about him being a rapist after his death. This might sound crazy but I honestly think his daughter passing along with him also helped with his legacy bc it further cemented the “family guy” image and has made people more sensitive to his passing so their less willing to address his misdeeds. I also think having a yt wife helped since saying anything negative about him has the potential to put her in distress and goodness forbid a yt woman is in distress. Even the history revisionism with his wife, the woman has a whole ass wiki page now and it states that she is a philanthropist, entrepreneur, businesswoman, and model and I had to roll my eyes. Unlike actual celebrities with wiki pages, here’s isn’t locked and she has a lot of time on her hands so I won’t be shocked if she created the page herself or edited her page that way.
I’m secretly hoping she moves on soon and does so with a broke yt man then has his babies and spends lavishly on him then leaves him all Kobe’s money so I can see the black community have a breakdown. The way black people have opened their arms wide open for this woman and put her on this pedestal is absolutely ridiculous and it needs to stop. There are too many stories out there of her being a straight up vile and disgusting person to others and even public legal documents from her maid years back detailing the abuse she endured while working at that household for ppl to ignore it. I guarantee you if wags like Ayesha or Savannah had these types of stories out there about them, Twitter would make sure to blow all of them up and drag them for eternity even if they were the ones who faced that kind of loss and not VB, I do not see the public having as much mercy for them as they have for her especially with these kinds of stories floating around about them…but then again they are not yt. People keep on forgetting that she’s not the first person to ever loose people in their life and she’s extremely privileged.
Also, since that anon brought up the whole Russell and Ciara opening up their arms to her thing, I came across this lsa thread and they did some digging and found that Russel and Ciara have only crossed paths with Kobe and his wife twice (a celebrity baseball match and the Espys), they never followed each other on social media prior, and they weren’t even at the memorial service that even the Kardashians were present at to emphasize how not close they were but now Ciara is over here inviting her to all these events, making separate instagram posts dedicated to just praising Vanessa and she’s even calling her a “best friend” when Vanessa stated that she only has one best friend and it’s her fellow yt Hispanic whose also married to a black man, a woman named Celia. VB does not seem to reciprocate the same loving vibe towards her and someone on the thread posted a video of Ciara and VB at this gala with attendees like Jeff Bezos and Jessica Alba and VB did not look like she wanted to be near Ciara. Russel even said on instagram that he’ll carry on Kobe’s legacy and I was just like 🤠. Had it been Russel who had passed, he ✨maybe✨ would have received an instagram post from KB bc they were not close at all (or at least according to the digging people on the thread did). KB and his wife definitely would not have been as gracious to Ciara as she and Russel have been to her especially bc we know Kobe did not mess w blck ppl like that. I read a comment that went something along the lines of “Kobe died the way he lived…surrounded by yt people” and I have not been able to forget it. I don’t know, ppl are very cringeworthy when it comes to that man. Sorry for the long post.
no cause the way you told no lies here 😭😭😭 sorry but i agree with this all and it might make me a bad person but it is what it is. they’re all terrible people and my sympathy is very limited when it comes to this family. most people don’t even know the half of how sinister they are so i appreciate this anon
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Top 5 Dean relationships (including platonic/familial) <3
ok i'm going completely platonic/familial with this one bc the casgirl in me gets a little jelly if i think abt his other romantic relationships TOO much like they're good great even ! but. cas...djfkdk ok anyways
dean + jo - been thinking abt them A LOT lately ever since my mutual gender envy post and just. yeah they're gender buddies<3 they have a weird dynamic that they don't really understand for a long long time (both thinking they have crushes on each other but then thinking no that's weird and not right but still not able to fully understand what they're feeling) and then once they doo get it they just chill together like sleepover hangouts where they get high and talk abt their gender + sexuality feels and jo's like "i love boobs" and dean's like "god i wish i had tits" and jo's like "you dooo ur tits are great !" and then they just giggle and jo paints deans nails and dean buzzes jo's head<3
dean + bobby - THAT'S HIS DAD !!!!! HIS REAL DAD !!! like bobby is so important "you're the closest thing i have to a father" yeah! bobby's not perfect and he's also Not Great at talking abt things but he's /there/. he's always been there and he's defended dean against john and looked out for him and tried to give him some snapshots of a normal childhood, taking him to the park to play catch instead of shooting guns. that scene where bobby holds dean's face and cries…KILL ME.
dean + jack - DEAN IS A GOOD PARENT the hill i will die on. dean got a lot of things wrong with jack, yes. the guilt eats him alive 24/7. a lot of it was chuck's fault. a lot of it was the ghost of john winchester. a lot of it was just grief and displaced anger. it doesn't /excuse/ his actions but !!!! if he could do it over, if he could do it different, if cas hadn't died i just Know he'd be moving in to play house with cas and take care of that kid, the devil's son or not. so like, i just know that /after/ in the soft epilogue they all get, dean would put the work in to fix his relationship with jack and conciously do everything he can to Not Be John. That's his parenting motto: Don't Be John.
dean + charlie - his bff that he ISN'T in love with (unlike with cas). he gets to be his mega nerdy self with charlie and he doesn't have to worry about /feelings/ or anything. they go on little shopping sprees, have little fashion shows (we all know dean Loves to be put in little outfits), they watch nerd movies and gossip and talk abt their big gay feels. he needs that !! he's never had that before !! she's also the little sister he never knew he wanted and with charlie, for once, he gets to JUST be a brother. they have the sort of sibling bond he never really got to have with sam bc he was always also being a parent, thus making himself fundementally unknowable to sam. like s1 sam? literally does not know a thing abt dean it's crazy. anyways.
dean + mary - HELLO INSANE BRAINWORMS. they are mirrors. they hate each other. they love each other. they can't stand seeing the reflection of themselves in the other. dean also holds onto every similarity with a vicelike grip. his lips are mary his eyes are mary his hair (blonde dean truthing!) he looks in the mirror his whole life and sees her even as he's trying to twist and mold himself into his father. he never can because sam is john's true mirror. he never can because he is alway always going to be his mother's son. and mary, god mary can't look at him because she never wanted this for him. she can't look at him because where is her baby? she can't look at him because all she sees is herself, the hunter, the killer, the woman who could never quite mold herself into a mother. except. well. dean DID do that, and did it better than she ever could. and she resents him for that a little bit, and resents him for putting her on that pedestal, and resents him for asking her to BE a mother. but she also deeply mourns the fact that dean had to take her place, that dean lost so much of his life, his childhood, trying to fill the empty space she left behind. i could go on forever abt this.
ok this reply got SO long but. yeah<3
#sorry to sam for not ranking akdjfkd#like obvs i have feelings abt that whole dynamic i AM a older sib who practically raised my younger sib so yeah#replies#long post#i guess
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Rewatching Love, Victor season 2 and all I can think as I’m watching is that Benji is cooonstantly putting his own feelings aside and instead striving to put himself in Victor’s shoes and empathize with Victor. Victor, for his part, gladly takes that from Benji and then proceeds to fail to put himself in Benji’s shoes in return. (We’ll leave Benji’s issue with conflict avoidance/not stating what he wants aside for a second but we’ll get to that shortly.)
Long-ass post, prepare yourself :P
Example exchange: in ep 6 after Isabel is so nice to Rahim and Benji fails to be #stoked about it, Benji comes up to Victor at the coffee shop the next day and says something like hey, sorry I wasn’t supportive when you were so excited that your mom was being nice to Rahim. And Victor just goes thanks for saying so yeah she was really being nice to him and I think we made some real progress yesterday!
Like. Okay. rewind noises
Let’s do that whole exchange over again but in the way a healthy couple would, shall we?
Benji: Hey Victor. I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive yesterday when you were excited about your mom. I know you wanted me to be excited with you. Can I tell you a little bit about my own feelings around your mom?
Victor: of course you can.
Benji: Okay. To be honest, I feel really hurt when your mom gives me the cold shoulder. And that’s been something I’ve been dealing with for a while now. So, as much as I want to be supportive of you and excited for you when you see her seeming like she’s making some progress, it’s hard for me. Because it would hurt for me to get my hopes up that she’ll treat me better, only to be disappointed.
Victor: Damn. Wow. I’m so glad you told me how you feel about that. That makes a ton of sense. I would really like your support, because I love my mom and this whole thing with her is hard for me, but I understand now why it would be painful and complicated for you to get too excited. Now I get it. Thanks for telling me. I’ll keep that in mind when I bring it up to you from now on and we can navigate all of it together.
fast forward noises OOC cause I just wrote that as I thought about what I would say in a similar situation, but you get the idea.
Returning to Benji for a sec. I’m a cliiiiinically conflict avoidant person, and I recognize a lot of myself in Benji. He doesn’t want to take up space. He makes funny stories and jokes out of his trauma (strip club, crashing car into Wendys). He doesn’t stand up for himself even if he has a legitimate reason to be upset - he finds reasonable reasons to apologize for his part in the situation and tries to make amends. (Certainly not always a bad thing, just can definitely be a conflict avoidant thing.) I mean, we saw him behaving this way even in s1. Think about on their anniversary when Derek said “can we just go catch that show” and Benji said “you go ahead, I’ll catch up” instead of “hey, I know you don’t care about anniversaries but I do. This means a lot to me. I want to spend time together.”
So yeah, Benji has some serious issues with avoiding talking about his own feelings, standing up for himself, etc if it basically doesn’t “go with the flow” of what the other person is thinking or feeling. Conflict avoidant. He doesn’t want to rock the boat. I don’t know why, yet. I don’t think we as the audience know why at this point, but I hope the writers will get into it. Probably isn’t “because alcoholism” - rather, I think the alcoholism is another symptom of the same issue.
Victor, for his part (and I’ve touched on this in another post), probably has spent so much of his life being the fixer for his family that he kind of unconsciously latches on to people who will give him a break from that and take care of him (think Simon, for instance??? Lol). And he forgets that it’s not black or white, it’s not one or the other: care or be cared for. In a relationship it goes both ways. I really think he got this massive crush on Benji, put him on a pedestal, made him out to be perfect; almost saw him as kind of a savior. Someone who could come, sweep him up, and make everything okay. Fulfill all his fantasies. Victor doesn’t seem to see Benji as a real person yet. And he doesn’t seem to realize that he needs to proactively take care of Benji, not just let Benji keep taking care of him. That they need to meet each other halfway.
And speaking of avoidant people, Victor does seem to have a pattern with this behavior doesn’t he? Dates Mia -> not working out -> run to someone who is new and seems perfect. Dates Benji -> things are complicated and hard -> oh look a handsome boy who is wonderful in every way (runs to someone who is new and seems perfect) (and will fix all his problems). Boy needs to stop running off to the next person who’s gonna “fix all his problems”. He needs to invest in his current partner. He needs to invest in being the one to care about his partner, being the one to put in the effort. Not just being the one to be cared for. He needs to stop waiting for someone to come sweep him up and fix all his problems. It’s not realistic, Victor. Get yer shit together & learn how to be a better bf. For reals. Smh
That went off on a little tangent lol, but honestly, at the end of the day, none of this is really even either of these guys’ faults - yes Victor puts Benji on a pedestal and is just beginning to see him as a real person with complexity and flaws, but to be fair Benji basically did the same thing: put Victor on a pedestal. “I broke up with him. I just want to be with someone where I can be myself and that’s enough. That’s how you make me feel, Victor.” = a really similar pattern to what we’ve seen Victor do. Relationship failing, abandon ship for the shiny, new, and better-seeming option. I’m not saying that that’s always the wrong choice. I don’t think that it is. But I am saying that both Benji and Victor are experiencing something very natural: having big crushes, letting infatuation and rose-tinted glasses go to their head, and then experiencing whiplash when their partner isn’t perfect. Honestly I think we’ve all been there to some extent.
At least in s3, now that they’ve seen some low times and their rose-tinted glasses are off, they should get a chance to create a deeper bond if they choose to do that (I feel confident that they eventually will). Benji needs to own his conflict avoidance and start advocating for his wants, needs, and feelings. Victor needs to recognize that although Benji seemed like a dream boy and is way more experienced yada yada, he’s not there to save or take care of Victor - he’s just a person, who also needs to be taken care of sometimes, and Victor needs to meet him halfway in their relationship and do that for him. They need to be able to exchange care as equals.
There I fixed their whole relationship you’re welcome afhffjhgfgjfgjg
(…….oh god I just realized how the writers are gonna have Victor figure out that sometimes he needs to take care of Benji too, and it’s totally gonna be bc Benji relapses with alcohol. Probably. Sounds like a TV-show move, doesn’t it?)
#not me wondering if I’m gonna write a fix it fic for this convo now#oh dang I……. I might just#or actually I think I’m gonna write another scene from s2 but from Benji’s perspective….. hmmm. someone hold me to this#also am I processing the things I’m learning in therapy through these fictional characters? you bet your ass#venji#victor salazar#benji campbell#love victor spoilers#love victor#lv spoiler#love victor season 2 spoilers#love victor season 2#love victor analysis
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Allies, Pt. 9
The Northern Air Temple
Pairing: Sokka x F Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 3,813 Summary: You thought that the chance of there being Airbenders other than Aang was too good to be true, sadly you were right.
Note: How I completely forgot about this until now I'm not sure but! Another piece of this series I’ve done for the fun of it is outfit designs- If that kind of things in fics isn’t your cup of tea then feel free to act like these don't exist! But for those who are interested or who might just wanna see; here you go. This is just what I personally envisioned while writing, again feel free to ignore it if you want, but I figured I might as well share :) I was also going to wait until tomorrow to post this bc Wednesdays is my upload day for it on Ao3 but I’m also a chapter ahead there and wanted to get my tumblr uploads caught up- so back to back post today and tomorrow :) Yay
-Navigation- | -Atla Masterlist- -Last Part- | -Allies Masterlist- | -Next Part-
Taglist: @boomeraangin | @brokennerdalert
“So, travelers, the next time you think you hear a strange large bird talking, take a closer look, it might not be a giant parrot, but a flying man! A member of a secret group of air walkers who laugh at gravity and laugh at those bound to the earth by it!” Aang smiled. “Aren’t airbender stories the best?” “Was it realistic? Was that how it was back then?” Katara questioned. “I laugh at gravity all the time. Haha! Gravity.” A pair of hands holding a hat suddenly appeared in the space inbetween Sokka and Y/n. The storyteller shook the hat, the jingling of coins being heard. “Jingle, jingle.” The two searched their pockets for any money. Y/n didn’t have anything, and the only thing Sokka pulled from his coat pocket was a small ball of lint and a bug. Y/n offered the storyteller a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” “Aww. Cheapskates!” The man left them, going to ask other audience members for donations. She turned to look at Sokka, a disgusted expression apparent on her face at the bug that wiggled around in his hand. “Why… was there a bug in your coat?” “Hey! Don’t question a man and his bug.” The bug rolled over, and started to crawl up his hand. Sokka yelped and shook it off. Her expression twisted into amusement. “A man and his bug, huh?” “It’s not my fault we can’t afford to keep him fed.”
The next morning, the group found themselves on the way to the Northern Air Temple. Apparently, the airbenders in the story they heard were seen the previous week. It seemed a little too good to be true, that there might be airbenders other than Aang still out there, but Y/n wasn’t going to be the one to crush the kids' hope. That was Sokka’s job, not hers. “Hey, we’re almost at the Northern Air Temple! This is where they had the championships for sky bison polo.” Y/n looked at Aang with a smile. “Sky bison polo? That sounds fun.” “It is fun! So much fun!” Katara moved to sit next to her brother. “Do you think we’ll really find airbenders?” “You want me to be like you, or totally honest?” Sokka asked, focusing on whittling a piece of wood. “Are you saying I’m a liar?” Katara crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m saying you’re an optimist. Same thing basically.” “They’re not the same thing at all.” Y/n commented. The boy just shrugged his shoulders. “Hey guys, look at this!” Appa was starting to approach the Northern Air Temple. It sat up on a sheer peak, several people flew around it, and smoke rose from a few pillars. “Huh! They really are airbenders!” Aang leaned, crossing his arms unhappily. “No, they’re not.” Sokka pointed up at the people flying around. “What do you mean they’re not? Those guys are flying!” “Gliding maybe, but not flying. You can tell by the way they move. They’re not airbending. Those people have no spirit.” Y/n tipped her head to the side, watching the gliders. “I mean, they look like they're flying to me, but you would know best.” As she finished speaking, a glider passed over the group's heads, nearly taking them off. The glider’s pilot laughed, turning to pass by Appa again. Getting a closer look at the kid, it could be noted that his glider was built out of the wheelchair he sat in. Katara pointed in the glider’s direction. “I don’t know, Aang. That kid seems pretty spirited!” The glider made another pass, and soon Aang was standing up glider in hand, before taking off. Another glider flew in front of Appa, startling him and causing Katara and Y/n to fall backwards into Sokka. The three grunted at the impact. “We better find some solid ground before it finds us!” Appa made a landing on one of the temple’s outer terraces, the trio getting off him and watching as Aang and the boy in the wheelchair glided through the sky. Aang eventually came down and landed next to them, the other boy also coming to a landing. A few kids came other and detached the glider from his wheelchair, before he wheeled over to the group. “Hey! You’re a real airbender! You must be the Avatar! That’s amazing! I- I- I’ve heard stories about you.” Aang rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed. “Thanks.” “Wow! This glider chair is incredible!” Sokka rushed over to the kids who had the glider setup, inspecting it. “If you think this is good, wait until you see the other stuff my Dad designed.” He began to wheel away, the group following. They were led through the huge main gate of the temple, into the main chamber. The room was dominated by steam-powered machinery with many wheels, gears and pipes. “Wow!” Sokka ran forward, looking around the room excitedly. “Yeah, my dad is the mastermind behind this whole place! Everything’s powered by hot air. It even pumps hot air currents outside to give us a lift when we’re gliding.” Aang took a look around. “This place is unbelievable.” The boy in the wheelchair smiled. “Yeah, it’s great isn’t it?” “No, just unbelievable.” Y/n tried to hold back a laugh, clearing her throat to force down her laughter. “Aang used to come here a long time ago. I think he’s a little shocked it’s so… different.” Katara said, before following after Aang when he walked off. “So better!” Rolling her eyes, Y/n elbowed Sokka in the shoulder. He gave her a look. “Come on, you don’t think this is cool at all?” “Not really.”
Soon they followed the boy, Teo, to another part of the temple. This time it was a courtyard of sorts, it was untouched, and there were statues of airbenders. Aang was much happier about this, than he had been about the other room. “It’s nice to see even one part of the temple that isn’t ruined.” He spoke, as him, Y/n and Katara looked at a huge statue of an airbender monk. “Look out!” A voice shouted out, shortly before a wrecking ball crashed through the statue. The three flew backwards with the debris, and everyone started to cough from the dust. As the dust settled, several people could be seen through the hole that’d been created. One of the people walked forward, a middle aged man with a mostly bald head who wore a monocle, a green tunic and an apron. “What the doodle! Don’t you know enough to stay away from construction sites? We have to make room for the bathhouse!” “Do you know what you just did? You just destroyed something sacred! For a stupid bathhouse!” Aang, clearly upset with the man, took on an airbending stance. The man waved a hand in front of his nose. “Well, people around here are starting to stink.” Aang pointed at him. “This whole place stinks!” He slammed his staff against the ground, sending a strong gust of wind through the hole in the wall, knocking the wrecking ball and it’s rig off the building's foundation. “This is a sacred temple! You can’t treat it this way. I’ve seen it when the monks were here. I know what it’s supposed to be like.” “The monks? But you’re twelve!” Teo wheeled over. “Dad, he’s the Avatar. He used to come here a hundred years ago.” Aang walked closer to the man. “What are you doing? Who said you could be here?” “Hmmm… doing here… A long time ago, but not a hundred years, my people became refugees after a terrible flood.” He gestured his arms for effect, before moving to stand behind his son. “My infant son, Teo, was badly hurt and lost his mother.” Sniffling, he held back tears. “I needed somewhere to rebuild and I stumbled across this place. Couldn’t believe it! Everywhere pictures of flying people. But empty! Nobody home! Then I came across these fan like contraptions!” He held his arms out as if they were wings, making flying motions with them as he walked about the courtyard for a short moment. He stopped in front of Aang, who was clearly still upset. “Our gliders.” “Yes, little light flying machines. They gave me an idea. Build a new life for my son, in the air! Then everyone would be on equal ground, so to speak! We’re just in the process of improving upon what’s already here and after all, isn’t that what nature does?” Aang was still upset, while Sokka and Katara stood behind him, teary eyed from the story. Y/n rolled her eyes at the siblings, before moving to stand next to Aang, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Sure, the story was sad, but to her the boy’s feelings were more important. The Mechanist turned to look through the hole in the wall he’d created. “I suppose that’s true. Unfortunately, progress has a way of getting away from us.” He looked down in a bout of sadness, before his head snapped up to look at an odd candle device..? A bit aways from them. “Look at the time!” Three candles burned brightly on a stone pedestal, each separated into their own sections. Next to the pedestal, a large mallet rests, sitting head down. The Mechanist turned to one of the scribes behind him. “Come the pulley system must be oiled before dark.” Sokka approached the candles, observing them. “Wait, how can you tell the time from that thing? The notches all look the same.” “The candle will tell us. Watch.” The candle’s flame snapped four times in a row. “You put spark powder in the candle!” “Four flashes, so it’s exactly four hours past midday, or, as I call it, four o’candle!” Sokka let out a laugh, as The Mechanist looked at him, seemingly pleased he was interested. “If you like that, wait till you see my finger safe knife sharpener!” Y/n’s attention moved to the man at the mention of that, watching as he held up his left hand, where three of his fingers were made of wood. He detached them from his hand, before tossing them to Sokka. “Only took me three tries to get it right!” Sokka let out a scream, as he caught the wooden fingers. “Follow me!” The Mechanist turned to leave, the men who were with him and Sokka quickly followed. As the boy passed by Y/n, he grabbed onto her wrist and dragged her along with him. She offered a quick goodbye wave to Aang, Katara and Teo as she was dragged away.
Quiet steps echoed through the narrow hallway, as Y/n, Sokka and The Mechanist descending a narrow staircase. Each of them held a lantern, glowing with sparse blue light. “These lanterns are terrible! I can’t see.” Y/n ran into Sokka’s back, as he abruptly stopped to open the jar to his lantern. She flicked the back of his head, as he continued to speak. “Why would you want to use fireflies for light- Hey!” She snickered, watching the firefly that escaped from his lantern. The Mechanist turned to look at them. “Hey, close that up! They’ll get loose. Fireflies are a non-flammable light source.” “Are you meaning to say that something down here is flammable?” Y/n asked, as they all continued walking. “Well, why else would I need a non-flammable light source?” The Mechanist offered a chuckle, as they approached a door. The edges of it were blocked by some sort of sealant, which he felt around, probably to check for leaks. After checking he turned back to them. “Cover your nose and hold your breath.” Once they’d done so, The Mechanist slid open a panel in the door, which they all looked through. It just showed a dark and empty room. “Okay, so you brought us all the way down here to see an empty room.” Sokka spoke with a somewhat confused tone. “Wrong.” Eyebrows furrowing together, Y/n watched as the panel was slid shut again. “You brought us all the way down here to see a room full of flammable explosive gas?” “Correct! It’s filled to the brim with natural gas. Came across it my first time here. Unfortunately, I was carrying a torch at the time. Nearly blew myself and the whole place even more sky high. Thought my eyebrows would never grow back! Anyway, there’s a vital problem that needs solving. From time to time we have gas leaks and they’re nearly impossible to find.” Y/n took a few steps back, as Sokka helped check the door for leaks. “So this place is an explosion waiting to happen?” “Yes, until I figure out how to locate something I can’t see, hear, smell or touch.” “Right, is it safe for us to be around this gas? Should we be wearing masks or something, in case we come across a leak so we don’t, you know, inhale it?” “Oh don’t worry, we should be fine.” The Mechanist paused for a moment, straightening up after finishing checking for leaks. “Well, as long as you aren’t a firebender or something- hah!” He let out a laugh, which Sokka quickly shared. Sokka nudged her in the arm, as they started walking back. “Oh come on, that was funny. You know that was funny.” “Yeah, hilarious.” He threw an arm over her shoulders. “Come on, loosen up. We’re gonna be fine, even if we do come across a leak.” She put her hands up in defense. “Okay, okay.”
The Mechanist led the pair to his workshop, and very clearly told them not to touch anything, before going to look over some papers on his desk. Sokka, of course, did not listen to that and started poking through things the moment the man's attention wasn’t on them. “Sokka, he said not to touch anything.” Y/n whispered, smacking his hand away from something he was about to mess with. He gently pushed her away a bit, before going right back to poking around. “Calm down, it’s fine. It’s not like I’m going to break an-” Sokka cut himself off, as he knocked some stuff over. Grimacing, he tried to keep it from falling to the ground. “I said don’t touch anything!” When The Mechanist spoke up, Sokka dropped the things to the ground. Y/n crossed her arms over her chest. “Not gonna break anything, huh?” The Mechanist came over, to help Sokka pick the things up. “Oh, don’t worry, that experiment is old and that egg was just part of last week’s lunch.” Y/n kneeled down to help them too, as Sokka sniffed the air. “Ugh! Week old egg smell!” “Quick! Find that egg!” The three started to crawl around, looking for the egg, but none of them were having much luck. “How could something that’s so small you can’t even see it make such a big stink!?” Sokka complained as they looked. The Mechanist perked up at the comment. “That’s the solution to our problem!” “Yeah!” Y/n looked at the two, confused, as they faced each other with excitement. “What?” “If we put a whole mess of rotten eggs in the cellar where the gas seeps up..” Sokka started the thought, which The Mechanist continued. “The gas will mix with the smell of rotten eggs…” “Then, if there’s a leak…” “You smell rotten eggs! Then you just follow your nose to the place where the smell is coming from..” “And plug up the hole where the gas is escaping!” “You’re a genius!” The two spoke in unison. Still, Y/n looked between the two with a confused expression. “ What? ” Suddenly, a large bell started to ring, and The Mechanist was quick to get up and rush from the room. “Something’s wrong I’ve got to go.” “Wonder what that’s about.” Sokka said, getting up himself. He helped Y/n up, grinning. “We should follow him.” “Always a snoop, huh?” Laughing softly, she shook her head. “Alright.” Grasping onto her wrist, he dragged her out of the room to follow after The Mechanist. They’d followed him to another room, one that was filled to the brim with different war machines branded with the Fire Nation’s insignia.
“You make weapons for the Fire Nation!?” Sokka was clearly angry with his words, rightfully so. Y/n was pretty mad about this development as well. She pointed a finger at The Mechanist. “You! You're terrible. Horrible terrible!” The Mechanist looked at the ground in humiliation and shame. Teo looked at his father angrily. “Explain all this! Now!” “It was about a year after we moved here. Fire Nation soldiers found our settlement. You were too young to remember this tale. They were going to destroy everything, burn it to the ground. I pleaded with them, begged them to spare us. They asked what I had to offer. I offered… my services. You must understand, I did this for you!” Teo turned his wheelchair away, clearly upset. The Mechanist turned on his heel, and walked back down the hall, leaving the five kids in the room. Teo shook his head. “I can’t believe this…. This is terrible.” “I know..” Aang looked at the weapons with disdain. “There’s so much here.” Y/n crossed her arms over her chest. “The Fire Nation could be coming for this soon…” Aang breathed out a sigh. “Your right… I’m going to go figure it out.” “I’ll come with.” Teo said, as Aang started to leave the room, before following the boy. With Aang and Teo’s return, they found out that the Fire Nation was coming soon. And they were intending to burn this place to the ground. They were all outside on one of the walkways, trying to figure out a plan. “This is bad! Very bad!” Katara looked over to Aang. “Aang, what are we gonna do? How can we possibly keep them all away?” “I’ll tell you how.” He pointed to the sky. “We have something they don’t. Air power! We control the sky. That’s something the Fire Nation can’t do. We can win!” “I want to help.” The Mechanist approached the group, as he spoke up. Aang offered the man a smile. “Good, we’ll need it.”
“We finally got the war balloon working, thanks to Sokka. This boy’s a genius!” “Thank you. You’re a genius!” “Thank you!” Y/n rolled her eyes at the exchange. “Can we get on with this?” Sokka cleared his throat. “Right. See, the problem with the old war balloon was you could get it airborne, but once you did, it just kept going.” He demonstrated with a model that flew up and hit the ceiling. “You could put a hole in the top, but then all the hot air would escape. So the question became, how do you keep a lid on hot air?” “Ugh, if only we knew.” Katara commented. Y/n, Aang, Teo and Katara herself all laughed at the remark. Ignoring them, Sokka pulled the model down from the ceiling, now showing off the mechanism to open and close a lid on the top. “A lid is actually the answer. If you control the hot air, you control the war balloon.” He demonstrated again, but this time the model didn’t fly up to the ceiling, thanks to the lid that could be pulled open with a string. Katara crossed her arms. “Hmm. That’s actually pretty smart.” “Okay, we’ve got four kinds of bombs. Smoke, smile, fire and-” The Mechanist cut Sokka off. “Stink. Never underestimate the power of stink!”
“We’re going to have to modify this to the new design, and fast.” The Mechanist said, as him, Sokka and Y/n worked on bringing the War Balloon he’d already constructed outside. “With both of you helping we should be able to get it up and running pretty quickly though!” “Yeah! And I’m pretty sure Aang and Katara will be able to hold off the Fire Nation with everyone’s help.” Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. “They’ll be able to hold them off, but we can’t count on them too for too long, even if we have the skies. The Fire Nation’s army is huge, who knows how many soldiers will show up.” They got the balloon set up to do the necessary modifications. “Oh she’s right, time is not something we have on our side right now.” Sokka nodded in understanding. “Right. It’s only one modification though, so it can’t take terribly long, right?” “Let’s hope not.” Getting to work on the War Balloon, they probably could have gotten things done a little faster. But nonetheless, they got it done, and just in time too apparently. While Sokka and The Mechanist got ready to take off in the war balloon, Y/n went to find the others to see how they were holding up. “How are things going out here?” She asked, once she found Katara, Aang and Teo. The three looked at her with slight concern. “Not well.” Katara started. “Please tell us Sokka is coming with that war balloon soon.” Before she could give an answer, the war balloon rose up from behind them all, and started moving towards the battle field. From where they all stood, they could see Sokka and The Mechanist dropping giant slime bombs onto the Fire Nation soldiers. The bombs that they had didn’t stop the soldiers, however, and they were starting to advance closer to the Temple. Katara put a hand on Y/n’s shoulder, to get her attention. “What are they doing..?” She squinted in the direction of the war balloon, trying to see what was going on. “I’m not sur-” She cut herself off, watching as something fell from the basket of the war balloon. Was that the balloons fuel source? “Did they just push out their fuel source..?!” “What?!” A sudden explosion set off, a really really big one. The entire Temple got clouded in a ginormous wall of grey smoke. When the smoke dissipated, it was revealed that the Fire Nation was retreating. Aang pointed to where the army was leaving. “Look! They’re retreating!” Everyone started to cheer at the success, but the joy was cut short, as the war balloon started heading downwards quickly. Thankfully though, Aang was able to get Sokka and The Mechanist before the balloon crashed below. Currently, they all stood outside on the main terrace of the Air Temple. “You know what? I’m really glad you guys all live here now. It’s like the hermit crab.” Aang spoke, as he carefully picked up one of the hermit crabs near them all. “Maybe you weren’t born here, but you found this empty shell and made it your home. And now you protect each other.” Teo offered a smile to the boy. “That means a lot coming from you.” “Aang you were right about air power.” Sokka pointed to the sky. “As long as we’ve got the skies we’ll have the Fire Nation on the run!”
#avatar the last airbender#atla#avatar the last airbender x reader#atla x reader#reader insert#sokka x reader#sokka x y/n#sokka x you#team avatar#slowburn#book one allies
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second half thg reread thoughts in case anyone is following my latest descent into madness lol
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So one thing that stood out to me rereading the books and also my 2 fics was that it obviously very much resonated with me that Katniss felt guilty and incredibly pressured from all sides about not liking Peeta or Gale (and esp her feeling upset and betrayed when they would ruin a nice moment by talking about love), and so the shift to screaming nonstop about Peeta in book 3 was especially jarring for me. From that perspective it still very much reads as her forcing herself to try, and the increasingly dire circumstances actually reinforcing her delusional attempt with Peeta.
With a bit more distance from that perspective I still think the overall story suffers significantly from the Peeta worship. He’s just simply better than the rest of us? Really? That’s a direct quote btw!!! I was trying to make a case for unreliable narrator in my head, but everyone simply loves Peeta and resents Katniss for any negative feelings she has towards him! (Especially Gale “it would be easier if he weren’t so likable”, the team on Katniss’s Capitol secret mission shooting her dirty looks after Peeta literally tried to kill her and has been sent there to kill her, and Coin who apparently wanted to rescue Peeta and hates Katniss). And despite what she sometimes claims, Katniss is someone who deeply cares about community cohesion and how people see her/those close to her--she doesn’t care about being liked so much as about being respected.
But yeah anyway I couldn’t stop gagging and flipping away whenever there was some Peeta bullshit lol I can’t even put all the things I hate about it into words. I was thinking in book 2 that maybe I’d been too harsh on him bc of my personal bias, but god it’s just insufferable in book 3. There’s also this part I almost screenshotted because Katniss is like ‘under these very traumatic circumstances I start to feel that thing I once felt when kissing Peeta but the last time I had to lay down bc I was bleeding to death from a knife wound in my head’ like girl that is not desire that is a head injury!!!!!!
I always felt that the whole Peeta being programmed to hate Katniss thing was a horrific way of evening the playing field between them romantically since Peeta had put Katniss on a pedestal before then, but honestly I think the one that needs to take Peeta off the pedestal and realize he is just some guy is Katniss and also the narrative at large LOL. Despite like 99% of people perceiving Katniss as full of herself and not good enough for Peeta, she actually has pretty low self esteem in most areas and could do with an arc of realizing her power unmarred by this weird shit.
So yeah the epilogue is maybe even more horrific than I remember it LOL. Like Katniss literally doesn’t know who she is or what she likes outside of starving and taking care of people and fighting for her life and she only made it to her early 30s before Peeta browbeat her into having children?????? BARK BARK BARK There’s also something to be said about Katniss spending the first 2 books being so against doing what the Capitol wants her to do and then just.........doing exactly what the Capitol wanted her to do lol.
Oh also on this note there’s a line (about Peeta) that’s like “Besides my mother, Prim, and Gale, who else really loves me unconditionally?” like girl that’s already a lot of people to love you unconditionally!!!!!!
There’s also something to be said for the way other women are treated by the narrative lol like it bothered me a little with Johanna (esp that weird exchange about how Katniss is bad at girl talk relating to her dresses lol god), but I reasoned that she’s a lot and there are other grown women with their own lives and opinions that Katniss doesn’t hate, but it really starts to feel like a pattern in book 3--the line that really bothered me was like in one of Katniss’s nightmares “Delly Cartwright is prattling on about the goodness of people.” Like girl you wanna talk about people who are unnecessarily kind and get the short end of the stick where is the Delly worship in this book!!!!!!
I just can’t think of a female character who is allowed to be particularly opinionated, especially if she disagrees with Katniss. Johanna is painted as like really unstable and also shallow--like Katniss notes that Johanna seems to like it and grow to respect her when she is irreverent like that’s Johanna’s only criteria for liking someone. Madge who is bland and unobjectionable and surely must not know what the Mockingjay pin represents. Effie whose only mention in the third book is that she looks exactly the same except for the vacant look in her eyes and now has a very subdued manner (bc of who knows what horrors she’s faced.) Delly who is simple and ‘prattles on’ even though she is one of very few people who repeatedly comes to Katniss’s defense against Peeta. Coin who is just as bad as Snow apparently idek where to start with that whole thing. There are other side characters who Katniss finds unobjectionable, but they don’t overly challenge her and are more or less the embodiment of what she values, eg. Paylor(sp?) who gets to be president after her little Incident LOL.
It’s just a shame that so many of the men, even very minor characters, are allowed to be a lot more complex and morally grey without incurring the ire of the narrative. Eg. there’s this deeply disturbing anecdote about one of the former Peacekeepers from 12 going on and on saying he’ll trade Katniss (who would have been 15-16 at the time) one of his kisses for a rabbit, and no one thinks this is disgusting except Gale because he is jealous (KJDANDSJKNAKJDNASD) and there is genuinely nothing but sympathy in the narrative for what happens to that character. On that note, the other named Peacekeeper from 12 was painted entirely sympathetically until after he died when there was suddenly a bit about ppl not liking him because he paid starving women to sleep with him, but that was never mentioned or alluded to while he was actually in the story????
Oh also this isn’t entirely related but bruh in the epilogue it’s just passingly mentioned that Finnick and Annie have a newborn son and how that’s good and happy but????? Finnick got torn apart by genetically engineered lizard creatures and Annie wasn’t super stable esp without him you’re telling me she CARRIED HIS CHILD AFTER HE DIED AND WAS FINE ABOUT IT i’m so sick of baby propaganda man i’m so fucking sick of it.
Anyway this is why I never reread Mockingjay the first two books are golden and the last one is just ???? I might try to force myself through the last movie finally just to see how things are handled differently if at all in the movie? And idk how quickly or if I’ll get through the Songbirds and Snakes book, like it seems interesting it’s just an awful lotta men so far (even Snow gets to be complex and morally grey!) and I have other things to do after spending 4 days consumed by this nonsense LOL. catch me writing thg genfic bc what I really want is a book about the last quarter quell adjksnajkdnakjd I am now a confirmed haymitch stan while katniss is whining about peeta i’m like WHERE IS THE MEAN DRUNK MAN so yeah it’s been a time
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For the character asks: Song Lan (obviously). Or Wen Ning, if you've already done him!
Why not both?~
SONG LAN:
Sexuality Headcanon: oh he is demisexual all the way! I can’t really picture him really being interested until he meets and forms a bond with xxc.
Gender Headcanon: Song Lan was always called a boy and had he/him used for him so I think for most of his life we was like “guess I’m a boy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” and then again, met xxc who changes presentation and pronouns more than he changes hanfu (xxc that’s gross do ur laundry pls!) and Song Lan is like “ :o you can do that?” And xxc is like “??? Of course you can? Anyway please use they/them for me today I am in a mood” and so Song Lan is experimenting with it now!
A ship I have with said character: songxiao first and foremost! But I also like him with Lan Xichen and Wen Ning! ... Song Lan is pretty much my fandom bicycle. I feel like Song Lan is the type of guy that needs someone to look out for and coddle, so he gets along well with characters who would want that or need it, ie. xxc loves the attention and wen ning and lan xichen both need and deserve to be coddled for once so. >_>
A BROTP I have with said character: I like to think he keeps correspondence with lwj considering PARALLELS and imo he and mianmian would be bros too I think!!!
A NOTP I have with said character: ... I honestly don’t think I really have one? I’ve never seen a character that I didn’t think could have SOMETHING with him in some way. Even Xue Yang! Xue Yang has a ~thing~ for him (hatred or otherwise) that inspires a kind of passion and Song “obviously has the biggest dick in the series and you can’t tell me otherwise” Lan is ok with indulging it bc he has a thing for subduing him without having to be called on it. ...I forget where I was going with this... anyway no notps here! Song Lan harem rights!
A random headcanon: Song Lan CAN NOT handle spicy food in any way. Refuses to even touch it. He gives all spicy dishes to Xiao Xingchen who destroyed his taste buds with too much spicy food years ago.
General Opinion over said character: Song Lan is my favorite character in the series and by this point I think everyone knows. My ONE qualm is that a lot of us Song Lan fans tend to put him on a pedestal so to speak, and we can forget that he has flaws. Like he’s pretty vengeful and angry! We see that! It’s what ends up accidentally driving xxc away and caused his downfall at yi city! But aside from that... I love him and I will never not love him ❤️
WEN NING:
Sexuality Headcanon: Disnt really care either way until he met Personal Closet Key Wei Wuxian, then was all “oh don’t you just love when men? 🥰”
Gender Headcanon: HE 👏 IS 👏 TRANSMASC 👏 and wen qing does all his gender affirmative surgeries bc she doesn’t trust anyone else to do them properly and her baby bro can have whatever he wants!
A ship I have with said character: ningxian has a place always in my heart and tbh is actually my preferred wwx ship, but I like a little wangningxian also! Basically wen ning harem rights also. He deserves as many boyfriends as he wants.
A BROTP I have with said character: he and yanli would have been BEST FRIENDS were it not for shenanigans. They have similar personalities and they need friends!
A NOTP I have with said character: again, wen ning gets as many boyfriends as he wants. I suppose if pressed I wouldn’t ship him with any jins just bc ... yeah. But anything is possible? I’ve seen wen ning/Jin zixuan done before.
A random headcanon: the only reason he and wen qing lived for as long as they did is bc wen ning used to be a mama’s boy once upon a time and learned all mama wen’s recipes. Wen qing can’t cook and would poison them all. Seriously... au where he and yanli swap soup recipes when????
General Opinion over said character: I also love wen ning a whole lot! I feel like trying to find content specifically just for him as a main character like for fic is kinda hard tho? Like... he takes a backseat whenever wwx is involved unless you are digging for ningxian SPECIFICALLY. Which is understandable since he is a supporting character, but I think he deserves MORE.
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don't know if you answered this before but in what order would you rank the endgame couples - piper/leo, phoebe/coop, paige/henry? very curious
oh hmm i actually have never been asked this!! hmm this is difficult. okay so like. obvi before we begin i must offer a disclaimer here. i am a paragon of bad taste. let’s not forget my entire valentine’s theme was dedicated to prue & jack. we’re starting at rock bottom here. i also love projecting my own idea onto incomplete pieces to fill the gaps. like. like i get how there’s not a lot to love for paige and henry and phoebe and coop but in my lil brain they are all very complex and like fleshed out and i gotta a lotta beliefs. in fact. like. hmm. no i’ve already said i have bad taste like piper/leo are probably gonna sit at the bottom of the list for me just because i cannot craft them how i want bc they’re already solidified in canon. like. idk they’re an adorable couple all that the full nine yards or whatever but like. well for starters they’re not my favorite ship tropes and then on top of that again There’s A Lot Of Canon. and i am a narcissistic diva okay i wanna be able to fill in these gaps. so like. hmm at the top based solely on coupleness and the versions of them that live in my noggin it’s
phoebe/coop bc like hear me out man they’re like the embodiment of love. we’ve been hit over the head so many time how they’re the embodiment of love and like salvation and rebirth and renewal like!! like part of me wishes that we had introduced coop in s5 and given him more skin in the game but also if they fucked up this relationship i would have been so bummed bc it really is. it’s love!! like it is the embodiment of falling in love like phoebe is stone cold right and she’s kind of starting to accept that maybe she just doesn’t get it you know. maybe that’s it. she gets her column and she gets to help people find love and see like piper and leo at peak domesticity and like engage in love, but like, remotely.because it’s not for her. and then here comes this cupid who’s like no i’m gonna find you love which is a cute gesture but like she genuinely doesn’t believe she’s made for love she genuinely doesn’t believe she gets to have love but then you know like. like her eyes get reopened to the world around her yes she engaged with love remotely but she had become so far removed from it that it lost the feeling. she saw it but she saw the individual brushstrokes and then here comes coop and he helps her take a step back and see the painting. and like!!! it’s beautiful. and then of course there’s the added trope of like. falling in love with coop he’s supposed to help you find love and now you know what the hell you’re trying but like. you’re in love with him. but you can’t be but you are. like!! and then on coop’s side you know he’s a cupid he’s been doing this for centuries and his love for humanity is obvious and his love for love is obvious but this is new. and he doesn’t know what it is!! like he knows love obviously but he’s never like you know fallen in love. and he can’t recognize it because he thinks it’s impossible but the next think you know he’s got all those lovesick symptoms he sees in the couples he puts together and oh my god he’s in love with phoebe. and then of course both believe the other won’t reciprocate bc it’s out of the realm of possibility. but then the other does reciprocate!! they also just like. i mean all three couple do but like phoebe and coop maybe the most. seem like the type of people who just kinda get lost in watching their partner work. like when phoebe is having trouble with a letter for her column she like paces and mutters the letter out loud to herself like she’s the one asking it and like bareface in pajamas like a crazy person is just repeating the same thing over and over again and coop’s just fucking in love with her like look at her!! and vice versa i don’t think coop has really spent that much time being human i think he takes absolute delight in small things phoebe has just forgotten about but to see coop’s face light up like at so flea market or something finding something that was undeniably crafted with love like he can feel it imbued in the item and his face just lights up and he wants to tell everyone how like it’s love!! love!! it’s all around us it’s in here can’t you feel it and phoebe just looks at him and remembers how pure love itself is and just how happy she is that you know. this is her life. and she gets to fall asleep and wake up next to this man like hello?? hello??!???! and then i’m gonna go
paige/henry bc like i feel like they’re criminally underrated again bc we spedrun what should have been a slowburn but they gave me the legos and i will built the death star like. like these are two people who struggle with family and identity so much who have learned against their nature to lean into and grow with one another. like what we see of paige is a woman who loves her independence and loves her freedom and yesh has a complex relationship with family bc she was given up at birth but it didn’t matter because she found a loving family so who needs the ones who gave her up not her but she couldn’t help but wonder but she didn’t care she had her family. until she didn’t. until she was seventeen alone and scared and what are you supposed to do with that?? and let’s not even get started on the fact she only gains her new family through death as well. like. there’s so much there there are so many reasons to stay guarded and fearful and just overall pessimistic about the concept of family especially as something built to last. and then henry!!! who never knew his birth parents and on top of that never got a home like paige paige got a home she got a family who loved her hell she actually got two henry never had that henry always had nothing and like he kinda grew up in that shell said he didn’t want to leave when people started getting close he had to push them away bc he didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t alone and paige is like hey hi?? you wanna be alone so bad be alone but i actually fucking like you and i know you like me too so don’t just push me out because that’s what makes you feel "comfortable” when you know you’re miserable in your comfort. and she’s right but it’s still a hurdle for henry and it’s this push and pull of the tides where bit by bit they kind of have to learn that it’s lonely up on the pedestal of independence and it can actually be nice to be vulnerable with somebody yes it’s fucking terrifying to just like show yourself to someone honestly because like!! they can turn away what if they turn away but to experience the rewards of love we must first subject ourselves to the morifying ordeal of being known. and it’s a painful process for both of them but the fruits of those labors man it’s well fucking worth it and it’s a relationship especially on henry’s side that is plagued with external insecurities other people telling him that he is not cut from the right cloth to be with paige but like. it’s like he’s already torn down his walls to be with her and she’s done the same and he realizes he loves her like He Loves Her like. like!! who gives a fuck what anyone else says he loves paige. and then paige reciprocates omg!!! haha fuck yeah. and then like i also think henry’s just super fuckin corny levels of domestic like makes french toast every sunday and fingerpaints with his kids and is in the dad’s club at the elementary school and just does all the things that he fuckin prayed for as a child just a constant stable feeling of home of love and like. like!!!! i’m gonna bite someone like. paige&henry man.
piper/leo though as previously established is like Thee charmed couple you know they are there all eight seasons they get points for that but obviously from reading my first two ones i kinda just fill in a lot of gaps there which i am able to do bc each couple probably checks in at 150min of screentime total. piper and leo don’t get that so like i don’t get to do that. and like. the origins of them i just don’t quite get you know which was really just cause it was such a new show and this was a new lil relationship they weren’t sure what they were gonna do with it and then again like issues with canon and the whole whitelighter thing but what i would have loved to see more in the early stages is just like why. like obviously they both found the other cute but we never really got the Moments bc it was all so preferrial and then next thing you know leo’s dying in the attic and piper loves him like i would have loved the in between and a bit more of the internal monologue the jump then fall especially on leo’s part which is like canon’s fault but like. you know like why if he was a whitelighter and knew the rules blah blah blah and it was because the writers didn’t know but like. still you know. and then s2 was bogged down my dan and i just really didn’t care for it that much because like. idk i didn’t love a lot of leo’s vibes early s2 were he was trying to keep it strictly professional and just ended up coming across as weirdly bitter and possessive however i Loved him bonding with dan in pardon my past that was a nice touch. of course later seasons pleo really makes up for the lackluster of the early seasons bc they are just so domestic like they know each others strengths so well and leo loves piper’s cooking and they’re corny n cute and they have their little moment and i do mostly like their relationship therapy bits i like that that was incorporated bc like. it happens man it’s not something to keep taboo it happens. but i do feel like that shit was often resolved too quick and then the same shit dredged up ten minutes later like some one trick pony. i also love how ride or die they are points for that. leo’s like i killed an elder and piper’s like alright. they’re really in it through thick n thin n i respect that
#bc they Know each other that's the whole goddamn point#but yeah#these r my opinions obvi you are allowed to diagree i feel like this is very much not universal#but there are my opinions!!#phoebe x coop#paige x henry#piper x leo#💌#charmed
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