#bc idk it just feels shitty to be like. hey so someone u trusted since childhood and always looked out for might have severely fucked u ove

[thoughtssssssssssss]

Why is it so hard to respond people? Like I know you are active why aren’t you responding? Am I trying to weird ? That u feel weird? I don’t get it. Like these days no one responding to me. I don’t get it. Like some of them are even just for business? The only time they respond when they know they are gonna get money out of it. I’m so mad. This start of may has been so fcking weird. And it’s my month? I’m a snakee zodiac and Taurus moon !!! Cmooonnn!! Pls be rest of the month be nice! I really need these things. And I am really getting out of my comfort zone which is amazing. But people the world makes me mad right now. It’s really not hard to respond and if you don’t want to just say no???? Like tf?? Like if i didn’t see u being active then I will be like well yeah they are an active on social media. So it’s understandable but no. Fck u. I do feel bad vibes sometimes from certain people that I’m trying to connect but bc they didn’t exactly do anything bad to me. I just brush it off which might be bad bc I’ve been correct constantly. But for this one idk why it’s a interesting bad feeling like I can’t really put my finger on it. And I brush it off bc well people like that person very much but at the same time when I think about it they are not actually very close with anyone I feel like? Like they make themselves go into things I feel like? Idk. It’s a weird feeling? Maybe it’s competitiveness? I usually get this vibe from certain competitive people. Maybe it’s that? One side of me says don’t trust them and the other one says nah u are being weird calm down. I just don’t trust people who cannot communicate. I know there might be reasons like I personally have social anxiety and had it very badly for a time. But if someone asks me to do smth and then I reply and then if we start to talk about arranging then. I’m not going to leave them on read! Bc I already said yes! And this person have their own schedule? Like tf? That’s just being rude at this point. If you have time to go out to do shopping then u prob have time to text to say yes I like this idea let’s go there or say no I can’t go there what about this place blah blah. Ugh 😑 maybe I’m overacting which is possible since it’s been a shitty start this summer. I AM LOSING ACTUALLY LOSING IT just fucking reply to me people. If you are not hiring day no. Or if I didn’t make the call say no? Or actually watch ???? Are u that lazy? If u want this job to be your future then I’m sorry to tell you but you need to start doing your job. And what a so annoying is that I have experience I know it. But fck them of course. I just hope there is no mistakes in my email. Maybe it’s the title that I’m doing that puts people away? Is it too serious? Like what am I supposed to write other than Job application? Submission for the role blah blah? Should I write hey if u don’t consider me bad luck or smth? Or LOOK AT THIS EMAIL MFFF!!! What about this one? I mean it would make an impression for sure. I’m so tired genuinely. I’ve been trying to connect with people, trying to get a job and an acting job but it feels like no one is seeing me. I feel like a ghost all over again. I’m so sick of it. Just tell me what I am doing wrong. Am I annoying? What did I do to make you not like me? Is it just chance?

I don’t know what to do. I need experience. I need a part time job, a barista job. I need to make money. I need experience in on camera acting. I need to build my portfolio my demo reel. And I know I will work hard. So hard. Bc I would be so grateful for any kind of experience. Please for the love of god for the love of universe please please please. Let this summer be productive.

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

hey i hope you're doing well!! i was wondering if i could request a oneshot that kinda diverges from canon ? so basically mc is given the chance to go back to the human world (permanently) or stay in devildom w the brothers. so everyone literally expects for them to stay bcs they really "happy" with the brothers + the (un)dateables,, but surprise:: theyre fucking ecstatic to go back to the human world !!!! and they re all like "why mc dont u love us 🥺" and mc just goes full rant about every shitty thing that happened to them in devildom: belphie killing them, brothers treating her as lilith's replacement, dangerous shit 😌😌😌😌 tHIS IS SO LONG N SPECIFIC OMG IM SORRY

Oo. Yes. This is it. I remember always choosing the "Yeah fuck you guys I wanna go home," choices lmao. There's so much I personally would say to them if put in that situation. One would be what the fuck.

This takes place after Belphegor kills you, but before you go home. The undatebles aren't really included because none of them really fit in with the scene I'm painting.

Also! To my followers, I'm thinking of opening a patreon? Idk if anyone would use it or not. It's just that I am trying to make money, and since I can't work consistently, this might be my best shot for now. It's just a thought! I won't do it if you guys think it's stupid. Thanks babes 💞

It was an offer from Diavolo that started all this.

After Belphegor had lashed out you'd taken to staying away from any of the brothers. You'd never totally felt safe around the demons. They are demons after all, but you trusted that someone would always be there to protect you. That was what you were told at least. It worked in many circumstances, but not when you needed it most. Not when you actually died.

You were miserable. Everyone could tell just by the way you acted. A frown was on your face the majority of the time, you were always on guard around any demons, and you spent the majority of your nights at purgatory hall for some reason or another.

It hurt them to see you so terrified of their presence. Any little fight they had now flashed like a warning sign in your mind, alerting you to the danger of meddling in demon affairs. You'd leave, and they'd become discouraged, only realizing how empty everything felt with you gone. They try to make it up to you, try to keep away from their natural tendencies to get a bit rowdy, but nothing works. You're still petrified in their presence.

That's when Diavolo asks you if you want to go home. You're not comfortable here, it's written on your sleeve. It's affecting your mental health, and despite how much it hurts to send someone so perfect away, he does suggest you leave. To get some help, reconnect with yourself, and possibly forget they ever existed.

You agree.

It's heartbreaking when they find out. Belphegor blames himself, and so does everyone else. They see his mistake as the catalyst for all your changes in personality, when really it was just the final nail in the coffin. After being forced to participate in a stressful school schedule, to deal with men constantly busting into the room despite the lock, being expected to cook for the avatar of Gluttony at least once a week, and to have to find new hiding spots for your precious items to avoid loosing them to Mammon, it was a lot. You were always up, ready for some crazy new happening, never resting even when your body was on the verge of collapse. Your body couldn't handle it anymore, and after Belphegor, you knew you'd never sleep again

You don't say goodbye to them.

Lucifer acts like it doesn't bother him, and he'll act this way until the day he ceases to exist. It does though. He considered you a friend, possibly more, but seeing as you willingly left the realm, it's clear that he misjudged the situation. Satan doesn't receive the news any better. He's a lot more angry then Lucifer, but deep down they both know the eldest is just better at hiding his feelings. The house is a wreck without these two micromanaging every aspect, but neither ever pleaded with you to stay.

They blame Belphegor, but they also blame themselves for not showing you how much you meant to them. Satan knows he could have done more. He should have. In all the books in his library, why is there not one explaining how to fix such a situation? Lucifer almost thinks the same, but he knows he does not need books. He should have noticed your little set backs from the beginning, without the help of a book.

Mammon doesn't completely understand what happened. He's confused, not knowing what he did to make you despise him so. Levi tries to explain, sometimes through teary eyes and anxious hand movements, yet it still never really sinks in. Part of him believes he could have possibly shown his affections more. The other remaining side can't stop chastising himself for not knowing.

The third eldest feels abandoned, and he doesn't know why. You're just a normie. Just some human who shouldn't mean anything to him, but you do. He hates it. Leviathan wants nothing more to forget you, but how can he when your ghost still haunts these halls?

The only one who seems to be able to move on is Asmodeus, but that's far from the truth. He's good at faking emotions. Sure, he's never really had to fake being happy, but all the improv disappointment and whiney attitudes have prepared him for this. Asmo looks fine. No one really worries about him. They should.

Beelzebub and Belphegor have been at odds ever since you left. They both blame the youngest, and whilst Belphie doesn't usually care about his sibling's opinions, knowing Beelzebub is so angry with him hurts. He can't fix it either. You're not coming back, and Beelzebub will always be angry with him for doing something so selfish.

And Beelzebub is angry. He moves out of their shared bedroom and into your room. For weeks he refuses to even speak to Belphie, and after that he only acknowledges him in passing. It's heartbreaking to watch, but Beelzebub doesn't care. You're gone.

[smalltragedy]

* brigette lundy-paine, nonbinary + they/them | you know kirby wormwood, right? they’re twenty five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two weeks? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ring ring by mika like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole balancing acts at perilous heights destined to entertain, jack of all trades master of none, refusal to accept the mortal world as it is thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 1st, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hllo welcome 2 my third character i love them a lot theyre a. remake of an older oc of mine so this is fun <3 sdfhk anyways once again i am asking u. pleathe like if u wld like to plot.

ARSON TW

mini playlist.

wizard ;; lucas lex / ring ring ;; mika / crows ;; clues / sunrise sunset ;; bright eyes / la llorona ;; beirut / no children ;; the mountain goats / might be love ;; the pesky snakes / sax in the city ;; let’s eat grandma.

statistics.

full name: kirby wormwood (currently).

nickname(s): magpie.

birthday: december 1st, 1995.

zodiac: sagittarius sun, aries moon, libra ascending.

mbti & temperament: estp & improvisor / sanguine.

label: the hellion.

hometown: abilene, texas.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

alright lets get right into it. kirby ws switched at birth. they cld’ve hd a very like. picket fence trampoline in the backyard. 4 columns cos its texas n it feels right. bt instead they were chosen <3 somewhat unintentionally <3 by dorothea n fawley wormwood, two traveling circus workers who emergency stopped in abilene.

n u know what. growing up in st. pierre’s traveling circus ws kinda fkn awesome? like ok. besides the fact tht they were homeschooled fr like evr n there were a sparing amt of children 2 socialize with? it ws p cool idk.

it ws kinda like everybody ws their parent n also not at all bc they were all very casual. bt they grew up learning hw 2 maintain the circus (n also like. normal school thingz bt i dnt think kirby hs ever cared abt school like ever) n whenever they hd a show kirby wld facepaint or handle tickets until they were old enough 2 start learning like. the Real fun things. 

fawley hd a lot of his own weird odd little like superstitions n beliefs n practically raised kirby on them like n they dnt rly <3 make a lot of sense. lots of made up philosophy. very much like. nothing defines u. u cn b anything or anyone. n kirby ws like ok cool. n then developed a god complex.

names didnt rly stick 2 kirby when they were a kid like. nothing satisfied them or felt worthy fr them or simply they just. got tired of a name. this isnt related 2 them being nonbinary BUT it did help ease some of the. pressure of exploring gender identity. theyve only hd one name tht stuck genuinely n tht ws magpie n. thts bc everybody hd their own bird name n it felt very. like community. like a role. usually the names they used during performances bt. anyways KFHDSGLKKHL

theyre Kirby bt answers 2 most. neutral nouns.

honestly. they were also a rascal as a youth. ws like. oh. i learned sleight of hand? cool. time 2 pick pockets. wld throw popcorn into the hair of other kids n b like. omggg what was that ... became a mime fr a year. it ws a rigorous training.

now a master of charades. bt anyways. they traveled pretty much weekly, maybe bimonthly n sometimes just pure monthly. there wsn’t an off season fr them, when the colder months came they’d travel south and when summer rolled in they’d go right back up again. it ws easy to switch personas almost daily n just. never reveal ur true self. totally not saying tht’s what kirby did bt thts what they did. it nvr made them lose sight of themselves it ws more like. acting. tricking ppl fr fun. 

anyways all good things come 2 an end and when kirby ws like. 18. they were like hey ur old enough that we cn trust u with fire. we think. n they started 2 learn fire-throwing n like. they were ok at it bt lessons were painfully slow n kirby ws like. i wld b so good at this if i cld do it all the time. n it ws like. hey kirby, chill. u already know a lot of things.

arson tw // u see where this is going. tents are kind of flammable. kirby ws unsupervised. bad decisions all around. circus is aflame. all the animals n all the circus workers got out fine bt like. st. pierre’s ws efficiently out of business. arson end of tw //

n kirby fkn booked it they just. ran. pure fear. nvr looked back which is like super traitorous of them 2 do bt. sometimes they meet up in secret like. sunglasses n all at a coffee shop. not all of them just like. fawley or someone else. theyre like. ur family u cld burn down a thousand circuses n we’d still love u. n kirby is like yeah i know bt i’ve rly committed to the bit now. n they dnt reunite.

anyways. since then kirby hs just been. a traveler. nvr rly staying anywhere fr super long n driving around in their shitty little van tht’d been used as housing back at st. pierre’s.

they’re in irving n theyve been there fr almost. suspiciously long. compared 2 their average stays. when asked abt what they do or why theyre there theyll just. give a vague answer or spin a long tale tht usually involves a burning circus.

theyre staying at uh. abernathy creek rn bc of course they r they fit in so naturally. welcomed with wide arms. might b soul searching rn might b on the hunt fr their birth parents might b just vibing ... whose to say ..

personality & facts.

has a Big personality tht attracts others fr better or fr worse. either super likeable or the most despicable person on the earth. no in betweens. n honestly tht is a talent in itself

has no off button is constantly. spinning tales or performing a dance or getting kicked out of bars fr whatever nonsense reason. 

honestly they prob think tht nothing bad cn ever happen to them even tho like. bad has literally happened 2 them before? love the optimism here. KLFGDLKFSDHGF

acts a bit like u’ve known them fr ur entire life they r oddly warm in tht way bt they themself r so distant tht its like. oh nice ok ...

both honest n yet dishonest like. yes they will hustle u out of ur money bt they will also tell u their opinion straight up. 

probably smart bt they r just like. prime thembo? flowy pirate shirts n cropped tshirts n pants tht r never tight. dresses like they do still work n live at a circus. 

likes 2 instigate things between others n then stand back n just watch it happen while taking like zero accountability. loves a good small town drama. avid milf hunter.

does not hv any faith in the american healthcare system at all n will straight up refuse 2 go 2 a hospital if they get hurt theyre like. i cn do it myself im like practically a professional. they r not a professional. 

bt does hv like. a thing abt apples. fkn loves them. 

uuuhhh cn play instruments bt all very badly. only knows one (1) song tht isnt made up n its wonderwall by oasis. they play it at parties. they expect fr tomatoes to b thrown at them at any given time.

very nimble. agile. granted its frm. learning circus tricks frm a baby age bt they hv impeccable balance n cn sneak up behind anyone without a single noise. uses this 2 their advantage in order 2 scare ppl. chaotic neutral.

loves having the attention on them i wont fk around here. will go to drastic measures to accomplish receiving it. my other muses r capable of taking things srsly bt kirby just. is not. they do not take a single thing srsly they barely even took. st. pierre’s destruction srsly n they caused it. maybe.

likes being able to just. be unknown so the amt tht ppl know abt them is actually very. little. i dnt think they even tell others their last name. sometimes not even their first. just hs so many aliases n nicknames. i know i didnt list any bt thts simply bc Any cld.

probably acts out to compensate fr the. underlying guilt they hv bt thts okay. i mean it isnt bt.

will probably show up if u call them fr help bt they lose interest in people p quickly n r always moving onto the next shiniest person. bt when they do they give them like. all their attention. if u wrong them in this period they will just. ignore it. bt when theyre bored then its like. u werent even friends at all? very odd.

perhaps it is commitment issues bt <3 ya. thts them. they do not claim favorite colors or movies or. most interests. probably bc theyre very very disconnected frm pop culture i think they learn everything thru twitter n google.

i wld not call them a good person bt i also dnt think theyre like evil horrible nasty awful they just. think abt themself a lot more than they think abt others n also refuses to face consequences ever and also .. anyways.

wanted plots.

part of the bird’s nest ;; honorary bird honorary circus member. u hv to be very well regarded by kirby to earn a bird name bt i feel like tht doesnt feel like a lot considering theyve only been here fr like. two weeks KDGDSHKGK. the catch is tht u cn only refer 2 them as magpie frm then forward. 

hand in unlovable hand ;; theres comfort in being terrible ppl together n it may not last bt it doesnt hv to anyways. its just them n the like. vibes. n knowing tht its smth thts nvr gna b long term. cld b anything ur character just hs to be also a little evil. KHDSGFDS

one jester ... wht abt ... TWO jesters .. ;; hoo boy. ooh man. unstoppable force and immovable object combine forces n just become. the worst of the worst. ultimate jokesters. epic pranksters. absolute clowns. chaotic energy unmatched. always nonsense. 

n also ;; ppl they’ve stolen frm, ppl who hv caught them in that act, ppl who’ve maybe seen them in the circus a very long time ago, Found Family Trope, real family shenanigans, kirby just asking everybody if theyre their dad., mortal enemies if they see each other its an instant duel 2 the death, etc.

[vexedtonightmares]

has ur internalized homophobia ever held you back from being yourself with female friends? like I love using cutesy endearments like lovely and my dear and I'm naturally very cuddly but I sometimes end up subconsciously avoiding that behavior because my monkey brain tells me my friends will be weirded or grossed out thinking I'm into them or something. idk you don't have to answer if you don't want to I was just noticing this big time today and I'm curious if you have any thoughts or advice

i TOTALLY understand believe me !! i’ve done dance since i was like 2 years old and dance is a very touchy feels sport in general so somehow i was able to compartmentalize that (not to mention ✨repression✨) in a way that i never really thought much about it or was worried about what other people might think because it was just so much a part of what we did but then after high school and making new friends at college and such and finally kind of fully figuring myself out (and then being out to p much all my friends in general) i’ve definitely had those moments where i get worried about how my actions are perceived vs my straight friends actions or what they’ll think if i lean up next to them on the couch instead of sitting apart and things like that and there’s always a little worried voice in the back of my head telling me to do/not do certain things so my friends or other ppl won’t think i’m into them (and then i get mad bc i’m sure none of them have ever had to worry about that sort of thing lol) and since i’m generally not a very cuddly person either when i am there’s that little panic in my head like uh oh they’re gonna be weirded out by this because they’re gonna think ur trying to get with them even if i know that’s obviously not the case 😒 so very long winded but yes i very very much understand and i hate that part of internalized homophobia so much because you don’t even realize it’s there and then it’s like hey u sure u wanna hug ur friend like that that’s kinda gay 🥴 and then the cycle repeats... as far as advice, honestly the best i can probably give is to either (if ur comfortable) talk to people- or even just one person you’re close with/trust- about how you feel because hearing someone else validate your feelings or just listen and see things from your pov kinda eases that constant pressure many lgbtq+ folks feel on the daily in regards to things like this or (and it’s a touch harder but it gets easier bit by bit) just keep doing you and acting the way you naturally do, because at the end of the day if someone has a problem with it that’s their problem, not yours, and if that’s the case maybe try to talk it through and see where things go from there. (also sorry if this is shitty advice i’m just speakin from things i’ve done to combat this sort of thing in the past but i know there’s no right answer really and sometimes that monkey brain rears it’s head again and again bc society has conditioned us to feel certain ways abt certain things even when it’s bullshit and frustrating as hell) this got way longer than intended but if u ever wanna dm or send me more asks feel free to do so because even if i’m terrible at giving advice i’m always willing to listen and give support if needed 💖💖

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨

[gayzels]

HEY FRIENDS ! as you’ve probably guessed from such an intro, it’s a me, meggio ! she/her, gmt, lost enthusiast, meme factory, and rp icon defender. anywho, it prolly goes without saying, but i’m so eXCITED to finally get seagrove goin !!! it’s nearly 4am and i’m not feeling too hot, so i’ll prolly type this up ( lowkey i usually type these up before opening time but i’ve been Slackin ) and then head to bed, but there’s plenty of time to swing by and say howdy before we open for interactions tomorrow !! so ANYWAY let’s get to talking about this basket of worms:

━★ ( kaya scodelario, cisfemale, she/her ) hey, that’s ( hazel mendes ), who’s lived here for ( almost two years ). the ( twenty-six ) year old is known to be ( kind & brave ) but you’ll find that they can be ( secretive & self-deprecating ), too. i heard they work as a ( manager of permanent record tattoo studio ) and ( she used to be mine ) from ( waitress ) always seems to be playing around them.

oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,hazel

a gay mess

a gay, gay mess

the messiest

the gayest 

OKAY SO FOR REAL, hazel has Had A Life and ............. it always sounds so much more Miserable than it is SO I DON’T WANNA DWELL ON IT TOO MUCH BUT GIRL HAS BEEN THRU #IT

she’s fine tho

she’s fine

she’s actually from atlanta ( come thru, accent ) and then spent some time in nyc. the nyc branch of permanent record ( the original ! ) wanted to open a shop in florida. Boss Man said in passing he’d want someone,,,,like he Trusted to go keep an eye on it instead of just hiring some artists and some random to be their boss and assuming they’d get on with it, and hazel had...............like tbh she was just looking for a reason to leave ?? like she just needed an excuse bc it’d been a hot minute since she came to ny and she met some shitty people so when the opportunity to leave but keep her job ( AND TECHNICALLY GET A BETTER ONE !! ) came up, she just kind of.....offered without thinking about it ???? LMAO AND THAT WAS JANUARY 2K16 SO SHE’S BEEN HERE A HOT MINUTE 

and now she lives in the apartment above the shop !!! but she’s not a like a regular manager she’s a cool manager................. lowkey tho,,, she does Not see herself as a manager, even though that’s exactly what she is. fool. 

she personally specialises in dotwork !!!!! 

i actually have a Full Ass Bio for her that’s nearly 6,000 words ( i think ? lmao ? ) but it needs tweaking before i post it but she has info and stats here

she does Not deal with the year round heat as well as she thought she would tbh 

gives off such chaotic and messy and busy vibes like ALL the time

works,,,, SO HARD. she loves her job more than anything ?? LOVES permanent record ?? loves that when she started, the ny shop was only one and now there’s FIVE and she was trusted enough to go and keep an eye on a new one ?? loves how busy her days are ?? loves that she works with really cool talented and experienced folx who know their shit ??

has blue eyes despite what her name tells you

idk not to be emo but hazel’s kind of one of those people where you could understand if her life had made her bitter ?? but she’s just............nice ?? likes a laff ?? struggles a bit at times but honestly.......join the queue, h 

IT’S NEARLY HA BIRTHDAY

BUT SHE’S MORE EXCITED ABOUT IT BEING PERMANENT RECORD SEAGROVE’S BIRTHDAY 

WHAT A NERD

lowkey this is a load of nonsense and what i’m gonna do is i’m gonna leave y’all with this, and then i’ll edit it in the morning/when i can get on into something a bit more eloquent and i’ll sort her bio out and it’ll be a grand old time 

a lot of Stuff has come up recently tho so if y’all could be patient with me, i’d appreciate it !

i cannot WAIT to read y’all’s’s’s’s’s’s posts and meet yer kiddos

okay love u bye !

note to future morning meg: make a connections page and link it here bc u suck at plotting, ya dingus 

[cxnsigliere]

ALL THE QUESTIONS BINCH and no erica totally didnt send this to herself haha what r u talking about.

when u desperately send an ask meme to urself bc u just wanna talk about ur dumb oc for no reason whatsoever

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

about 10 minutes for king! he really cannot stay still for very long tbh, blame it on ADHD for the most part. if he sits down for too long, he starts to get really antsy and squirms in his seat the whole entire time. also a big reason why he always be skippin class in his high school verses roijwoirjgaegogij

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

very easy! honestly king usually makes himself laugh more than anything else tho. hes the kind of person who laughs at his own jokes. but honestly all u gotta do is tell like even the world’s shittiest joke to him and he’ll probably start cryin from laughter

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

usually he’s just out like a light, so he doesnt have to do very much to put himself to sleep. if theres ever a night where he cannot sleep tho, tHEN HE GETS OUT THE ALCOHOL UNTIL HE PASSES OUT DRUNK, KING NO THATS BAD,

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

pretty easy tbh?? like as long as you dont scare him and ur nice to him, he’s probably gonna trust u right off the bat

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

ALSO PRETTY EASY. it all just depends how you act towards him.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

i guess it depends idk. generally immovable tho, but then, when has king ever gave a single fuck about the law???????????

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

he doesnt usually like to think about his past very much and avoids thinking about it as much as possible. he’s not sure what necessarily triggers any nostalgia for him– but when he’s left alone in silence with nothing but his own thoughts, that’s when he starts to think about his childhood, his dad, basically everything, and he hates it. thats why he very much prefers loud environments and likes to be in the company of other people, no matter who it is. he just hates having to think. if he’s ever in a situation where he’s stuck thinking about his past, especially if it has to do with amber kennedy or veronica delgado, he quickly turns to alcohol to drown out all his thoughts.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

his mother absolutely hated his smoking habits. of course, that wasn’t just him tho, bc his dad was a pretty heavy smoker too, but king would often be scolded by his mom because of it– especially when he ever got caught by a teacher smoking in school.

his father would often tell him, “Think before you say or do anything.” (as u can tell, its a lesson that went in one ear, out the other for king. lol) it’s because seeing as his dad was raising him to be a soldato someday, king would need a lot of brains for it. after all, working in the mafia can be very dangerous, and if you piss of the wrong people, you can obviously wind up dead very fast. and needless to say, king has always been skilled at pissing people off.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

DUDE king has the mouth of a SAILOR!!!!!!! in case u didnt notice in his thread with sam lmao. as for his first ever swear, he probably just said the classic ol’ “FUCK” but i highly doubt he remembers it, bc he’s been swearin literally since he was like 8. blame his parents for that, he picked it up from them from watching them shout swears at each other 24/7. ironically, he’d always smack his siblings on the back of the head if he ever heard either of them swear.

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

the whole trial of Amber Kennedy’s murder tbh. that was basically nothing but lies, and how he first was able to get away with killing her for a while in the first place (until the case was reviewed ofc). it still haunts him, but not because he regrets killing Amber or anything, but more because that’s the whole reason his mother lost her job as a lawyer. he feels more bad about that than killing someone.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

seek clarification! unless he’s trying to prove that he’s right about something.

12. Already answered!

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

brown, as u can tell by his design which has like 93850245 shades of brown in it. id say its probably his best color! that, or red.

14. What animal do they fear most?

bIG DOGS

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he talks like fuckin LIGHTNING man. he talks so goddamn fast, someone slow him down pls. he also never thinks before he says anything (often making him say the most horrible things at the wrong time). he’s got a very small vocabulary and hates using or even hearing big words.

16. What makes their stomach turn?

anything that’s like dark or “””scary”””. basically goth aesthetic? scares the shit outta him. i know it’s such a weird thing, but listen, king is a pussy.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

not really. dude has no shame when it comes to most things, but there probably are certain things that can embarrass him.

18. What embarrasses them?

his fear of water! he sees it as such a silly thing to be deathly afraid of, and never wants to admit it.

19. What is their favorite number?

69 UHHHH 28 bc thats his lucky number!

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he doesn’t really know how to put it into words, but there certainly is a big difference with them. someone he’s romantically attracted to is the kind of person that will make his heart skip a beat or make him easily flustered and be with all day every day!

for platonic, it depends on just how deep that friendship goes– like a simple friendly acquaintance he couldnt really give less of a fuck about, its just someone he can joke around with, but there does come a point where they feel like a second family to him, and he would go into harm’s way to protect that person, so long as it doesn’t put his life at risk.

for familial love, it’s a little complicated with him. King loves all of his family very much, but after all that he did to his parents in his earlier years, he knows that they don’t always feel the same way toward him, or most people in his family are just so disappointed with how he turned out, that he couldn’t handle it– it’s such a big reason why he faked his death and abandoned most of his family aside for a few. he wants to protect them, and to do so, he feels he should just stay away from them. (tbh tho hes probably right his family dont deserve him)

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

mostly just bc he’s got that Elderly Person Sleep Schedule™ hONESTLY. he goes to sleep very early and wakes up early. for no reason in particular either, it’s just the way he likes. unless, of course, there comes a night where he blacks out drunk, in which case, his sleep schedule is all over the place.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

SEEING SOMEONE HE WANTS THE ATTENTION OF HAVING FUN WITH SOMEONE ELSE….. it can be either a friend or a lover, but if they’re having fun without him and completely ignore him, hE’LL GET SO MAD LIKE JFC…… he’s been getting better about it, but it can become scary real fast at some point. he’s very, very possessive and gets jealous VERY easily. mostly just bc he wants all the attention 24/7

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

he hates hates hates seeing people with their dads. he gets so jealous and remembers “oH HEY, MY DAD IS FUCKIN’ DEAD. HAHA!!!” he doesn’t actually do anything about it, but he does become very pouty and depressed. probably a great time for alcohol for him tbh

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

absolutely!!!!!! he’ll talk about it with almost just about anyone bc he has no shame.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

he’s not really sure, and he’s a little hesitant to think about marriage (at least rn anyway bc hes still p young). after his countless shitty experiences with relationships in the past, and witnessing how bad his mom and dad’s marriage was, it’s really not something he likes to think about.

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

any old-fashioned ass car tbh. any car from the 30s? hell yes.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

anything that makes him feel threatened in any way tbh

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

YES. ABSOLUTELY. he’d rather hear what he wants to hear than what he needs to hear.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

well his ideal self would be to be exactly like his dad, and so far, that is nOT THE CASE. SO NOPE.

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

AMBER

31. Already answered!

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

not really. he forgets most of the shit he says bc he has a terrible memory.

33. Could they be considered lazy?

nah, i dont think so. he’s almost always outside wandering around and actually doing productive shit, and hates feeling lethargic.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

BINCH IT STAYS WITH HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE-

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

sure! i mean it depends what it is tho

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he actively seeks it– i mean he’s not gonna go around searching for some cute person, but if he just so happens to see someone he finds attractive, u bet ur ass he’s gonna go flirt with that person.

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

not really. if it’s something that’s really important, he’ll just write it down in a mini notepad he always has with him.

38. Already answered!

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

it depends who it is. if it’s someone he likes, he usually just ignores all their flaws and holds them in a “theyre fucking perfect in every way omfg” viewpoint. if it’s someone that generally bugs him, basically every single thing they do annoys the shit out of him.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

very much so, especially when they’re pointed out at all! but he usually refuses to think about it, because he wants to believe he’s practically perfect (he knows deep down he isnt tho)

41. How do they feel about children?

king loves kids, and wants children when he’s older someday! which is ironic, bc he actually SUCKS with kids. dont let him have any. pls.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

he’s not really sure what his end goal is at the moment.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“girls are nice as FUCK, but also, who the hell gives a shit, ill fuck anyone”he doesnt even know what his sexuality is tbh, rip king

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?

GOD as infuriating as king can be, he’s just so exciting to write!!!!! like, it’s impossible to be in a bad mood when ur writing with king, its so fun.

B) What inspired you to create them?

i wanted to make an oc that looked kinda like Q from Street Fighter, and I also based him heavily on Al Capone! As to how I came up with the alias ‘King’, i literally got it from King from Tekken bc why not. except oc King himself thought of it bc he lived in Kings, New York

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really! king is pretty unpredictable, even for me, but he’s so easy to fit into just about anything.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

ive edited how he looks a LOT tbh. when i first made him, his design was a lot more simple, and he was sKINNY….. and god let me tell u, looking back, seeing king as skinny is so unsettling. his scarred eye also changed a lot, i used to b a lazy ass and just draw a black line through his eye, but now its like FULL ON WIDE-OPEN SLASH THAT FUCKING DESTROYED HIS PUPIL AND IRIS YKNOW… idk just small things like that

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

HELL NO……… NOT AT ALL. im the type of person king would be afraid of, and he has a lot of personality traits in him that i dESPISE IN A PERSON……….. like if i met king irl id probably try to fight him honestly.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

UHHH A LOT OF EMOTIONS GOIN ON THERE MAN. im proud of him like ooc wise bc hes such a unique muse with a unique backstory that so many people actually enjoy and wanna hear about, and holy shit that makes me so happy?!?!?! but also ANGERY bc. well, i mean, its king. hes an aSSHOLE.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

BOY THERES A LOT, but if i had to go with one, probably the fact that king nEVER OWNS UP TO HIS MCFUCKING MISTAKES!!!!! like if u call him out on his bullshit he’ll be all like “UM I DID NOTHING WRONG, WHY AM I BEING BULLIED??” AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD, I WANNA SMACK HIM!!!!!!!

H) What trait do you admire most?

hes funny as hell, like, u gotta give him that. whether he means to be funny or not, hE CRACKS ME THE HELL UP

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

tbh yes, bc he kinda is meant to be a huge New Yorker dude, and he doesnt fit very well in any verse where he has like magic powers or shit like that bc i can only see him as a plain ass human being tbh??? idk if that makes any sense but. i mEAN I DONT REALLY CARE THO, ILL STILL THROW HIM IN LIKE 100000 VERSES ANYWAY.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

not really i think idk????? i mean ive had to revamp his backstory like a SHIT TON SO MANY TIMES, and even now i still sometimes get like huge realizations of his backstory that can definitely change every now and then. and back in the Olden Days™, i used to write him as like this huge moody crybaby, but also someone who had no fears whatsoever and overpowered as fuck and eventually i was like “ok i gotta buckle the fuck down and actually write him the way i see him, tf am i doing :/” and GOD i hate the way i used to write him when i first made him and shit, he had such an edgy backstory and his personality was like “LOL NO WEAKNESSES” but lOOK AT HIM NOW…….. he has come a long way as a character and im happy

[sstarkiid]

do all of the lovesick asks bitch. expose urself

wow, ok.

read more thing bc this is long and embarrassing

1: Do you have a current crush?

Two actually but who's counting

2: How long has your crush lasted?

Uhh a few months n then the other one is weird i can't answer that lmao

3: 5 songs that you have associated with your crush?

I'm……..not that sappy I can give u like one

Ice prince : Runaways by ATL

Space boy : Stars by Fun.

4: Do you think they've ever liked you back?

I mean. It's very likely.

5: Will you ever reveal your feelings to them?

Yea probably

6: What’s holding you back from making a move?

It's not that I haven't made a move but like. I am Fear.

7: Are you frightened by your feelings for them?

A lil

8: Do you think they could ever love you?

Maybe???? but i’m kind of an optimist

9: Do you love them?

Lol next question

10: Have you ever had a crush on someone you really shouldn't?

DEFINITELY. I CAN'T NAME ANYONE SPECIFICALLY BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY YES.

11: Do you think anyone currently has a crush on you

...IT'S VERY LIKELY.

12: Ever had a crush on what you thought was a platonic friend?

Hi Jared

13: What would you do if your crush revealed they felt the same?

I'd probably need a second to process it but like probably hug ‘em idfk

14: Has your crush ever hurt you?

Nope!!!!

15: Have they made you cry by breaking your heart?

Nope!!!!!!!!!

16: Why do you like them?

Ice prince is fun to tease idk we go back n forth a lot but he's also a softie n listen he's dramatic enough to keep up w/ me

Space boy tells u like it is and he seems kinda scary or not,, nice at first maybe but he's actually also soft !!

They're also both hot as hell oh my god

17: Do you think you'll ever get over them?

I mean. If I had to I would but...  I don't WANT TO.

18: Do you have 1 specific song that is strongly associated with a certain memory or interaction with them?

Mmm not really?? Not yet?? It'll happen dw

19: The moment you knew you had feelings for them?

We both got scared of the firework finale on the 4th and I squeaked and he like held onto me n it was really funny n cute n I was just like “ok this is a thing now great”

Uhh I was doing the typical girl thing where I send screenshots of a conversation to a friend only the friend is his sister so………..i blame her it’s literally all her fault

20: What would they have to do for you to stop liking them?

Murder someone probably

Or y'know

Something equally as shitty n illegal

21: Have you ever fallen asleep with them?

Yea. Both. Napping is cool.

22: Held their hand?

Mmhm! Both but like that's not that weird

23: Kissed their cheek?

Yup. Both.

24: Kissed them on the lips?

Yeah. Both. Actually.

25: Gone down on them/ they've gone down on you?

N O P E

26: Had sex with them?

Nuh-uh.

27: Where on your body have they touched you?

This is…. A weird question I don't like it

28: Does their touch set your skin on fire?

Fire.

Ice prince.

Fire.

HM.

29: Do you get butterflies when they touch you?

Ok maybe

30: Do they make you smile like no one else can?

Y e a

31: Does their presence calm you?

Mmhmm.

32: Does it make you go crazy being around them and not 'being with' them?

Not… until recently but---

33: Are you friends with your crush?

Both of ‘em!

34: Have you always been friends?

Uhh I guess w/ Ice prince yes but not the other one

35: Last thing they messaged you about?

One was abt a dog, other one was abt coming over to hang out

36: Best phone call with them?

Hands down any call when I've been driving so I make my brother talk to them instead those are always fun

37: Last time you hung out with them?

I. I literally started answering this in one of their houses.

38: Ever been drunk together?

I DON'T DRINK

39: Fondest memory of them?

The fireworks show n then probs a few days ago when we just drove around n talked abt stuff

40: Ever made a mistake with them?

Mistake??????????? i don’t make those

41: Regretted not making a move?

Every day of my life but also I have literally kissed both of them so which is the truth

42: If you could go back in time to that moment, what would you do?

Nothing ‘cause I'm a big baby

43: Do you think that would change your current relationship with them?

Nope

44: If you could get a 100% honest answer from them, what 3 questions would you ask?

ok first FUCK THIS QUESTION

Ice prince

Do u. Actually wanna date or am I just the most gullible person ever

.......................so how do you feel about polyamory

Do u actually hate the puns or do u secretly enjoy them I need to know.

Space boy

Are you aware that you can literally text me for anything at any time?? Bc u should be

Were you ever afraid to talk to me?

Will you promise to talk to me before doing stupid shit so that at the very least i can tell u that ur an idiot,,, but like. affectionately.

45: Did they wish you Happy Birthday on your birthday?

My birthday is in like another month and I didn't know either of them really last year so they better

46: Have they ever tried to make a move?

?????????

Idk tbh

47: If so why did you miss it?

‘Cause I'm clueless as hell

48: Have they ever been infatuated with a friend of yours?

Don't think so

49: Are they single?

Lol yeah they're definitely single

50: Where were you when you felt the most for them?

IT'S ALWAYS WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING they both just look so cute n peaceful n I get all mushy n wanna protect them but I'm weak as hell so

51: Any specific place you associate with them?

Mmmm not really

52: Films that make you think about them?

Disney films in general

Marvel movies for Ice prince bc NERD

53: Have you picked up a habit because of them?

I don't think so but it's also not unlikely

54: What was your first impression of them?

Ice prince seemed antisocial and idk abt space boy we were like 5 yrs old technically so who knows man

55: Has it altered since then?

LMAO YES

56: Do you remember the first thing you talked about?

Probably musicals bc I can't shut up ever and he was confused

And uhhh no unless u mean like when we started hanging out bc it was candy

57: First time they touched you?

COLD

HE DID IT TO SPITE ME AND IT WAS FUNNY BUT IT WAS SO COLD HOW

And I'm 99% certain I made him high five me before we ever spoke bc I'm a nuisance

58: Have they ever lied to you?

Not that I know of

59: What are their eyes like?

Ohhhhh my GOD

really......clear?? that’s not like. a good way to describe em but u know when u look up at the sky and it’s like. wow there are no clouds!! n then u feel the breeze and it’s kinda cold but it’s not unpleasant it’s?? p nice??? like. that.

cool as FRICK like what the hell i’m actually jealous they’re a rly pretty nice shade n then suddenly it’s!!! different!!!! and it’s like!!!!!!!!!!!!! a surprise a v good surprise which is fitting u just gotta look a lil and he’s full of lil surprises

60: What are you most attracted to about them?

well,, for one they’re both hot as hell, so. that. in general.

if u know anything abt me i’m a sucker for pretty eyes

i also like the “soft but pretends to not be” because i think it’s cute they’re also really good to cuddle with

61: Can you see a future with them?

well i can’t see one without ‘em so something’s gotta give here right?

62: Have you sabotaged things between you two?

i freaking hope not

63: Why? What were you afraid of achieving? Love? Happiness? Content? Disappointment?

why does this thing assume you said yes to the above question that’s kinda rude

64: Could they make you happy?

already do

65: Do you dream about them?

if we’re friends and you haven’t appeared in one of my dreams and done smth weird or random are we actually friends??

side note does daydreaming count LOL

66: What's something that only you two do?

i don’t think i “gently bully” anyone nearly as much as i do ice prince also the only one who actually can cuddle w/ me properly in the summer i’m js

uuuummmm go on random drives in the middle of the night so tht zoe can make out w/ ppl instead of texting our sorry asses

67: Does liking them make you feel vulnerable?

you. have. no idea.

68: Have they ever given you anything?

food has definitely been exchanged and shared. i’ve stolen sweaters. uh.

69: Have they ever used you?

.........not that i’m aware of??

70: Have they abused and manipulated you due to your feelings for them?

nO WHAT TH E

71: Have you ever spent quite literally all day and night thinking about them?

that’s......a bit much i might be pathetic and somewhat desperate but like i do kinda have a life

72: Have you ever accidentally nearly walked into moving traffic cause you were thinking about them?

no but i’ve walked into walls because i was tired and thinking abt stuff so that’s a thing i probably have done

73: Ever worn anything knowing it would draw their attention to you?

YEAH LMAO I DO THAT ALL THE TIME IN GENERAL i like attention fight me

74: Have they ever made you feel so safe and content everything else slips away?

y e ah

75: Ever held you so close you could feel their heartbeat?

mmhmm

76: Truthfully do you think you belong together right now?

[taylor swift’s you belong with me playing in the distance]

77: Have they ever seen you completely vulnerable?

um. no.

78: Do you trust them?

i would trust all of my friends with my life

79: When you see them what feelings are strongest?

i just get?? really happy n i turn into a little kid i swear to god how does he put up with me

n he makes me feel really calm n content n just. good. u know.

80: Are they in love or interested in someone else?

d e a r l o r d i h o p e n o t

81: If they asked you to kiss them, would you?

in a heartbeat

82: Will they be in your life a year from now?

they BETTER BE

83: A moment where you so nearly gave into your feelings for them and did something about it?

i have literally kissed both of them and not because of dares what kind of,,

84: Do they know you have feelings for them?

i’m not exactly,,, subtle

85: Do you have a favourite picture with them?

no but i have favorite pictures of them

86: Your ideal date with them?

hey. concept. a double date. but like. instead of 2 couples it’s just me w/ both of them wow

87: What's their name?

it’s rly obvious that i’m talking about porter and connor fuck you

88: Have you ever been in their room?

i’ve been in connor’s but porter n i mostly chill other places

89: Shared a secret with them?

yeah but it’s not a secret if i tell the internet now is it?

90: Have they ever made you a promise and broken it?

don’t think so

91: Have they ever disappointed you?

nope!

92: Whats the most problematic thing about them, which you overlook due to your feelings for them?

uh. idk. porter’s kinda closed off to other people at first i guess that could be problematic. i’m patient w/ that shit so it doesn’t bug me as much idk

general relationships or lack thereof w/ other ppl tbh for both of them i think 

93: Have you ever had to compete for their affection?

no

94: For as long as they're in your life could you handle just being friends?

that’s what i do with p much everyone else but another way to approach this is if u couldn’t be together would u shut them out and the answer is no?? bc that’s kinda shitty

so yes

95: Ever looked for a sign to make a move?

every?? single second of every day but once again i have literally kissed both of them uh

96: What's standing in your way from being with them?

general anxiety

a single conversation

...lmao

97: Would you let them use you for sex?

this implies that,, they don’t care abt me and only themselves n they’re not really?? like that so?? it wouldn’t happen like that??

realistically knowing myself i wanna say no but i probably would which is Not Good i know

98: Ever had a bad feeling about them that's screaming for you to get out while you still can?

no. like. literally the opposite. wtf

99: If you could go back in time, would you avoid ever meeting them?

NEVER

100: You have 1 wish about them, what would you wish for?

that porter finds someone who makes him feel warm n fuzzy on the inside even if it’s not me

n for connor that one day everything is stable and everything is ok

anyway hey jared U SUCK

[dare-i-say-asexual]

My boyfriend is trying to like... not be transphobic bc I am trans (it's not like a rift or anything he just says stuff sometimes and it's not... right) and like? Idk how to feel abt anything, like I don't know if I should be happy he's going to actively try to understand me?? It's so weird... I should've never dated someone while I was closeted. But he's like? The best thing to me. But also sometimes the worst. I love him so much, but he understands so little about me. 1/2

And I don’t want to ruin things and I don’t want to be alone again bc it’s been so good for me. And I just? It feels bad. I actively make excuses for him in my head and brush everything off. For a while, he was telling ppl what my genitalia was… until I told him ‘uh.. hey pal can u not do that??’ And like.. I don’t.. know?? But he’s not so bad. He’s been calling ppl out for telling shitty transphobic jokes and stuff. So I guess that’s good. He tries, but I’m so tired. 2/2

–

I think there is a difference between actively trying to unlearn your transphobia and learning to understand you as a trans person, and someone who says they are but still cling onto transphobic behaviour and even goes so much as to joke about it.

I think if your relationship with him feels bad, you shouldn’t stay with him. Especially since you’ve talked about this behaviour and he’s yet to correct himself and continue such behaviour.

Trust me when I say this, but I’ve been in your position. Staying with him will only cause more pain, and I know for a fact there are plenty of folks out there who are more willing to learn and love everything about you, and respect your existence. For now, just understand that while it was a good run, there are better things in life than a relationship. Like self care, for example. He doesn’t deserve you bud, and I hope you are doing better since you’ve asked this. Sorry for replying so slow– I needed time to think of a good answer.

[leaughrilke]

super-sensate-seestras replied to your post

“Who do u think the superbabies will date?? :D (also since stella looks...”

I would love to hear more about Stella and Beth's relationship drama cause I absolutely love all of these breakdowns about the superbabies

WELL FRIEND there’s other drama too but this is the Major drama that hinders their relationship for a long time

so stella know she has a crush on beth, has been like aggressively ignoring said crush and tryin to Live Her Life and its been a year since stella came out, came to terms and she’s just started her nighttime shenanigans as a vigilante, just started trying to help the way kara does, the way maia does and its going ok???  until she.  you know.  gets stabbed (LIGHTLY STABBED) and is like hmmm i feel as though i should reassess maybe

and then beth’s back in national city after graduating early with like three bachelors (xenobiology, nanotechnology, and engineering) and at least one masters and a corresponding doctorate (in something sciencey, listen im barely an english major), working at l-corp bc she’s a Documented Genius and stella wants to step up her vigilante game, especially since she recently was lightly stabbed and doesnt rlly want that to happen again, and beth’s always been rlly calm and steady, very logical and she keeps all of maia’s secrets, so stella approaches her a little reluctantly to see if she’s willing to help and beth gives her this long, searching look and finally agrees, designs and builds her a new suit with a shitton of gadgets, is the main reason stella starts getting called mechagirl by the press but only helps with stella’s promise that beth can then help with actual missions bc like??  beth cares about her a lot too, doesnt want to see her die ya know??

and it’s weird??  bc now she’s friends with beth in her own right???  works alongside her a lot and beth serves as her tech person, finds her jobs she can do that supergirl or birdy (maia’s superhero alter ego) haven’t gotten to yet and national city gains a new superhero pretty much bc of beth.  and then its a late night of saving ppl and stella comes back to her apartment/headquarters and beth’s still there, wrapping up some end of night reports (she insists on keeping detailed logs in order to avoid any issues with the cops later on) and she’s ordered stella’s favorite takeout, put it in the oven to warm for her and stella’s so grateful and also pretty tired??  rlly tired and beth basically lives with her and sometimes the proximity blurs lines in stella’s mind and so she just leans down to kiss beth, murmurs thank you sleepily and goes into her room to change.  and beth’s just sitting there??  like oh my god, the girl i’ve been in love with for months just kissed me and she doesn’t even realize it but then stella REALIZES IT and runs back out like shit im so sorry beth, that was so inappropriate of me but beths like??  wait do you not like me and stella’s like WAIT DO YOU LIKE ME???? 

surprise!!  this is how stella finds out beth’s an alien and also how beth finds out stella’s an alien lmao.  like.  beth’s species has mental shields, similar to martians??  so stella’s never been able to read her or see in her mind but she never rlly tried to or even questioned it??  or even noticed bc she’s rlly empathetic anyway, reads body language rlly well, so she’s never known that beth likes her the way stella likes beth

like, later in their relationship, stella suddenly can read beth??  like rlly well and she’s like um what the hell and beth’s like oh, yeah, i stopped putting up the block and stella’s just like starry eyed like holy shit you trust me that much???  

beth’s like uh yeah but dont let it go to your head you nerd

but are they smart abt this and admit their v deep feelings for one another then??  no.  they just hookup and then keep hooking up, pretending like nothings changed, pretending like theyre not basically living together or doing all the shit Couples do but just refusing to tell anyone or acknowledge it at all.  and it’s ok for a while??  its solid

but then stella’s suit malfunctions, gives her a nasty burn down her side and she begs beth to not tell anyone that she’s in the hospital, that she’s been hurt and beth’s like shit, stella, i can’t keep doing this bc they’re working with a budget of about eleven dollars, a starburst, and stella’s bus pass, building with shit from the scrap yard and old electronics from secondhand stores and beth wants stella to just tell her family she’s the new vigilante bc then they’d have access to better resources, then beth wouldn’t be so scared every time stella runs out to go save a family from a burning car or stop a bank robbery, but stella refuses, knows that it would be a battle to be accepted like this.  

its a fight they’ve had for months before and then stella’s armor fucks up and beth just calls it.  tells her that she comes clean or beth won’t help her keep almost dying, so stella tells her that she doesn’t need her and beth moves all her shit out of stella’s apartment and its all rlly quiet, subdued and its so fucking sad

she takes the job offer she has at wayne security in charm city (wink wink) and doesnt tell stella, stella finds out when she goes over to her moms and finds beth there, with maia and her moms and finn, all laughing and grinning and maia tells her that beth is getting her own department at wayne security, that she’s moving on friday and stella fakes a smile, congratulates beth before she leaves and that’s the end of it, she never sees beth again

but then stella wrecks her motorcycle.  i think i mentioned once that stella is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie??  well she’s a huge adrenaline junkie and she was testing the limits of her newly redesigned bike, pushing it past 90, 120, 150 and then she just??  loses control of the motorcycle.  it just spins out and stella tries to stop it, turns into the spin and pumps the brakes which slows it down enough that she doesnt just fucking die, but not so much that she’s not close to dying

beth is still her emergency contact.  so beth gets the call, middle of the night, that stella danvers was in a wreck, is on the way to the hospital and that she should get here as soon as possible.  but beth is a ten hour drive away and can’t possibly know that she’d get there soon enough, be there if....if it came down to stella not being alone.  and.  well.  its not her place, never was.  so she calls lena, tells her the emts called the last number stella called bc its so much easier that way, kinder to everyone she thinks

she still drives through the night to national city.  gets there just a little after maia does, her eyes red and puffy from sobbing on the freeway, hands shaking a little.  thank god no one asks why she’s there or why she’s this panicked, bc she’d probably tell them and she knows that’s the last thing stella would want (or, well.  she thinks that at least).  maia just sobs out that beth is the best friend for coming, holds onto her in this desperate, damp sort of hug and beth just stays quiet

beth doesnt stay after she finds out stella woke up, is going to be okay.  she can’t right??  she shouldnt be here in the first place right??

so maia stays in national city to help stella in her recovery bc stella’s being stubborn and refuses to move back in with their moms, and maia figures most of her moping is to do with the fact she’s not allowed anywhere near her motorcycle anymore, but then she finds this one shirt that she knows is beth’s, knows beth has had since high school and its tucked under stella’s pillow and she puts it together pretty quickly.  the way they were friends and then all of a sudden they werent, the way beth came running back to nc the second stella got hurt, that weird pulse of anger, hurt she felt when stella found out beth was moving to charm city.  and like???  she doesnt know what to do with that information, she’s not sure what to feel or how to think about this so she just files it away for a later time, tucks the shirt back under stella’s pillow without saying anything

so eventually stella gets convinced to move back home, bc maia’s like hey.  i dont mind living with you and i dont mind helping you, but the neighbors are starting to think its weird that i carry you up the three flights of stairs to your apartment every day so finally stella moves home and maia comes with her bc they’re finally in a good place again??  they finally worked things out between them from when they were kids and maia’s not about to leave stella, not when stella’s like finally started seeing her as another Certified Safe Place.  so they’re back in their childhood bedrooms and then lena finds out about stella’s vigilantism.  mostly by accident??  stella’s still p much out of commission until her body’s at a 100 percent again but lena finds the mask and its a whole Thing between them, the first time stella’s ever really fought with lena and then by natural extension, kara finds out and then maia clues in and then the whole family has an opinion on it and stella’s just like MCFUCK OFF

and maia??  is like desperately scared for her sister, and she’s angry and she’s hurt that she didn’t tell her, didnt think that she would do anything to help her, but she also knows how isolated stella feels, how helpless she must be feeling, how stuck she is, so she calls beth

and when beth is beating around the bush with it, playing dumb like idk why you’d call me??  stella and i really aren’t that close, maia just calls her out on it like.  elizabeth, i know for a fact you were sleeping with my sister

oh

yeah, oh.  i have some words to share with you at a later date, but right now stella needs someone in her corner and that can’t be me 

and beth doesnt like.  doesnt even hesitate.  she drives her shitty beat up jetta the ten hours it takes to get from charm city to national city and gets a shitty hotel and is so, so nervous??  bc what if stella doesnt want her here??  what if she never wants to see beth again???  but then maia’s texting, saying that the house is empty if she wants to talk to stella and she does, she really does, like?  she didnt realize how big of a part of her life stella was until she was gone, until she had moved to a new city and met new people like she’s completely in love with stella, so she goes

stella opens the door and just stares for a second before she says that maia’s out for a while but beth just keeps looking at her and finally says it outright, says i’m here to see you, stella like its the most obvious thing in the world and stella’s so tired, she’s starting to close the door and she’s saying i dont need another lecture, i’ve had enough of those for a lifetime and beth lets her close it, knows her well enough to know she wont walk away from the door before beth does, so she calls through and says im not here to lecture you, stell.  i just.  i wanted to see you

the door opens

and its incredibly uncomfortable for a while, incredibly tense and when beth tries to ask her what’s going on, stella just hisses what, like you care?  and beth like??  normally would fire back with something, normally would let this blow up into a fight but she’s thought about it, she really has, and she knows that any time she can have with stella is better than no time at all.  that she’d rather take stella as she is, thrill seeking and too good for words and hard headed in the extreme, take the risks that come with her than have anything else.  so beth nods.  yeah.  i care.  i care a lot about you stella, and i shouldnt have forced you to make a decision like i did.  but its scary when the girl you love doesnt see the same value in her life that you do and it was terrifying watching you leave every night and not being sure if i would wake up to your face on the news

and stella’s like??  shit.  shIT, didn’t account for this at all.  but beth is very steady, is giving her this even-keeled look, keeping her eyes on stella but not forcing eye contact and she finally stands, gets ready to leave 

and she tells stella i love you.  and believe me when i say that transcends boundaries like platonic and romantic.  i love you, stella danvers, and i will always be here for you, in whatever way you want me to be and then she’s leaving 

and stella has a choice to make, two paths she can take and she stands a little unsteadily and grabs beth’s hand and pulls her back 

and she’s like im still pretty stupid, you’re aware of that, right?  and beth laughs, refutes the statement as she rests her forehead against stella’s.  you’re not stupid, stella, never stupid.  a little dense sometimes...  and stella laughs too before she admits, finally, i love you too, genius.  and i dont think i can keep doing this without you?  and she tries to backpedal, bc she’s worried she’s being manipulative or something but beth just shakes her head, says im going to kiss you now, ok?  and stella’s nodding fast, tears finally starting to fall when it all hits her and then they’re kissing for the first time in six months and theyre maybe still kissing when everyone comes home and maia groans bc like i texted you specifically so i could avoid seeing this ugh you guuuyyysssss

[ronansparrishes]

I was tagged to answer all of these questions!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more milk than cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes i don’t like to be super warm ever 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

usually sticky notes that i write things on about the book or like lists of stuff that i have due that week

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i take tea with nothing in it and coffee with lots of sugar and cream 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

yeah my teeth are a little weird

6: do you keep plants?

yep! i have two cacti, richie and nini

7: do you name your plants?

see above lmao 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

i’m a writer

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

i literally never stop singing lmao but yeah i do

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

back or stomach

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

“I have to microwave this” anytime anything is awkward 

12: what's your favorite planet?

saturn 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

i had a nice talk with a girl from my history class and this guy from my shakespeare class last semester, like we sat on the benches outside of this building for an hour and a half

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

plants and paper everywhere lmao 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

space is... big

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

alfredo which im eating right now

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

like a reddish color

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

calling the musical oklahoma ‘kansas’ 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

i have one but i barely write in it lmao

20: what's your favorite eye color?

i don’t have one

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my like briefcase bag thing that i used for like 3+ years and the strap was broken but i kept using it

22: are you a morning person?

yeah i guess, like i get up early every day for class and im usually pretty awake and functioning 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

read fanfiction and watch musicals

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

b, corinne

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

i dont think i ever have 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

my black knock off vans from target

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

anything fruity

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

b always leaves me sticky notes and they’re always so cute

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yeah probably

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i have so many socks and i never wear matching ones and my dad gets mad when i buy more socks

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

idk me and b used to stay up real late with JM and send each other dumb memes

33: what's your fave pastry?

anything with peanut butter

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

violet, she was like a tiny purple weasel thing...

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

YES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I COLLECT CUTE STATIONARY 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

the front bottoms

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

i clean my room every sunday usually

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

everything my stupid roommate does

39: what color do you wear the most?

black or red

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

i don’t wear jewelry

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

the raven cycle series!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

we live right next door to a coffeehouse, it’s not my fave but i spend a lot of time there. it’s student run so it’s kinda shitty lol

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

probably b

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

right now, sitting in the kitchen with my friends

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

im too lazy, ask ali

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

onions

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

clowns, probably

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i buy kpop CDs lol u, i gotm lemonade for christmas from my friend

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

socks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

b - hey thanks by the wonder years

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the one making fun of student athletes 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

all of them but pulp fiction, i like rocky horror and heathers a lot

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i don’t.... know...

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

spent 5 days not talking to any of my friends

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they’re funny 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

i’m not going to but if i did i would dramatically reenact it

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

im both. bet

59: what's your favorite myth?

anything greek

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yeah, i like bukowski

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

everything i give is dumb, also one time veronica got me a slinky for christmas and i was so mad

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

apple!! 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

i organize by letter 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

black, it’s night

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

corinne or my friend mason

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

BLACK

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

like kind of at peace and calm

68: what's winter like where you live?

cold as fuck and lots of snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

clue!!!! idk a bunch 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

fuck no i dont fuck with that

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

chamomile 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

no i have a really good memory

73: what are some of your worst habits?

biting my nails, being generally awful 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

egg

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none :(

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

sleeping lol i have to be up at 5:30

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATECLUB

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

make me a mix CD

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

at school and at home they’re both white, but they’re covered in posters of things i like, like monsta x and the x files

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

egg

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i usually get all A’s, school/academics are super important to me and i’ve always been good at them

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

any front bottom’s cover

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yes! the phrase “a miracle of moving parts” 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

nah but i watch daredevil

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

yeah, lemonade. and so many others

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

ferris bueller’s day off, all the LOTR, les mis

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

dadaism lmao

89: are you close to your parents?

not my mom but i’ve live with my dad since i was 15, he’s like my best friend probably 

90: talk about your one of your favorite cities.

i really love Nuremberg when i was there. it was so nice and beautiful yet still modern?? but there were furries everywhere lmao

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

around PA and maybe jersey and new york, nowhere major tho

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

so much

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

hair down, pin straight bc that’s how it drys 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

ummmmmmmmmm idk im bad at this lmao

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

newspaper layout

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

no i like never do

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INFJ, cancer, gryffindor

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

with dallas last spring break probably lmao no i hate hiking 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

we don’t eat by james vincent mcmorrow or something like that

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

future. forget the past lmao

[hurtbymanysouls]

Another diary-like post

(Ignore if you dont wana read its that simple)

I kinda miss the way my life used to be. Always active and had plans almost all the time or someone to be seeing. But i guess thats part of growing up. Your friends get busy with work and relationships and school or whatever life shit they do. Then theres me no job no real education other than high school. Dropped out of college bc the stress made my panic attacks daily and constant due to deadlines. Work job to job never really able to stay somewhere for longer than 1-2 years. Or like ive been the last year being jobless and depressed. But hey atleast my music taste is amazing. And i applied to a job i really wanted today. I just hope im good enough to get it. Or get lucky enough to actualy get it.

I guess being dumped/broken up with really did change me. Ive always ended my relationships or we came to some kind of meeting about our feelings. But being left behind like trash really hurt. And barely being able to get closeure cuz they just ran and didnt look back...that hurt even more. Almost reminds me of my birth-father leaving the U.S and barely saying anything to me since. I cant even think about her without getting sick to my stomach. I STILL have dreams about you from time to time and i wakeup with a mix of emotions i cant even begin to explain. I hear these songs about love and it makes my skin crawl and heart sink. Or i see a cute couple in public or eating food together and all i want to do is cry and ignore the feelings. Push it all so far back it goes away for now or smoke so much weed i cant fucking think about it anymore. I want that again..a relationship a REAL relationship, someone to call my own and go to anytime and tell them whats on my mind without judgement without worrying they screenshot it and post it in their group chat to make fun of. Without even thinking about them ever leaving me. Making stupid pinky promises that i would keep till my death. Showing them dumb songs with cute lyrics that makes me think of them. I fear sometimes i’ll never have that again because im too picky and needy and anxiety ridden. I guess i’ll never know if i dont try right? But im so fucking scared of showing anyone the true me, it always ends up weirding them out or they just think im a freak. Or being left on read and never replied to. Just because i like weird things dosent mean anything. It dosent define who i am. Who knew my love for trauntulas, content creators, and thinking all of life is a simultion would make people think im a freak lul. I guess i just need someone as weird as me so they know what its like. Or maybe i need a normal person to balance out my weird nature, honestly i just want someone to have genuine feelings for me. Not forced not fake. No having people set us up together then it failing miserably.

Ever since 2018 i havent felt right and feel like everyday i spend sitting around depressed makes my life worse. I feel like i left a piece of what i was back then. But that piece of me can stay in 2018. I either crave attention or want everybody to leave me alone. Theres no in between. I just need to find the happiness within myself and make it grow. Watering it everyday and slowing growing it. I will shine again like i used to. Always as a kid i would say im super optomistic negativity always makes me feel weird. No more bad choices. No more nervous breakdowns or panic attacks when i should hold strong ive dealt with worse. Cutting toxic people or people whos views dont match mine (politically) cut them off too. I need to promise myself to keep growing. Im like a tree. Let my roots grow deep and my branches high. No more ignoring people when they want to make plans with me. I need to open my mouth and say what i feel because if i dont who the fuck is going to for me?? Litteraly no one. I’m the only person that can tell what im thinking and feeling. So i should just be honest and open with those that i trust. I have lots to change and im already working on myself as hard as i can. And im even working out again following people on the internet and finding workout routines you can do at gome to make myself phyically happier with myself and feel more confident. I dont wana die fat and sad. I wana die slightly chubby and happy. Idk this post has dragged on. But i just needed to vent my thoughts because they eat away at me. Plus im scared to talk like this to people close to me just because thats how my anxiety makes me think.

Im gonna start a cult, a cult of happy people. - The Front bottoms

Songs im currently beinge listening to:

The front bottoms - camoflague

The front bottoms - tighten up

The front bottoms - west virgina

The front bottoms - au revoir

The feont bottoms - twin size mattress

Hobo johnson & the love makers - peach scone

The story so far - quicksand

The story so far - placeholder

The story so far - Daughters

The story so far - swords and pens

The story so far - high regard

The story so far - nerve

The story so far - upside down

Lil peep - starshopping

Lil peep - driveway

Lil peep - another song

Lil peep - suck my blood

Lil peep - praying to the sky

Lil peep - pray i die

Lil peep ft lil tracy - i crash, u crash

Lil peep - favorite dress

Mac miller - self care

Mac miller - good news

Mac miller - surf

$uicide boy$ - hard to tell

$uicide boy$ - my flaws burn through my skin like demonic flames from hell

$uicide boy$ - ...and so it was

$uicide boy$ - new chains same shackles

$uicide boy$ - DRUGSHOESMONEYETC

Juice wrld - flaws and sins

Juice wrld - robbery

Juice wrld - lean wit me

Enjoy. And if you made it this far thanks for dealing with my shitty posts and personality.

[0225pm]

didn’t take lots of pictures of han today mainly bc he’s being a poophead about it so here is a video of him being forced to show his face bc i want smth to document today 🙄

will continue later. it’s 2:44AM now and i’m just done washing up and stuff. i’m not really sleepy but physically i’m quite drained (lol) and i have a wedding to attend in the morning later so i have roughly about 4 hours of sleep before i have to be up and ready for the solemnization at 9.

keywords: we met at dhoby, i came via grab lol and then went to plaza sing’s daiso to get sponges, opened a fortune cookie tgt and got the exact same fortune (i thought it was kinda lame at first cus like there’s prolly a lot of the same ones but then thinking about it now i think it’s fate??? HAHAHAAH like out of so many fortune cookies in that bag what are the odds that we will get the exact same fortune right?!), wasn’t really much of an interesting fortune though – we both threw the slip of paper away haha!, han doesn’t like the taste of the fortune cookie but i lovvvv it!!!! it taste kinda like love letters but a more thicker and super crunchy version omg i really luv i think i’m gonna go and buy a whole giant pack of them to just eat instead of looking at the whole idea of “fortune” in it.

took the train to bedok but made a pit stop at paya lebar cus han was like “hey there’s gongcha here right” and i was like “omg yaaa can we go!!” and he was like “go uh” so we got out of the train at paya lebar and queued at gongcha – quite a long queue but the wait wasn’t super long (maybe it’s just me la cus i have han for company) and throughout the entire time he was being so poopie (in a rather annoyingly cute way tbh like it doesn’t make me angry or frustrated in a bad way?? but instead i thought that it was a rather cute side of him cus i’ve never rly seen that side before HAHA) - i will explain later (or i’ll try to)

called my aunt to ask about any direct bus but then we took the train back to bedok, after that went to her place, then i saw smth and merajok in the toilet HAHA mcm bobo, han texted me while i was in the toilet asking me to come out so he can show me the whole convo lmao then after awhile he asked me what was i doing in the toilet then i said tgh merajok hahahahaha wtf why do i get jealous so easily omg bobo sia!!! ive always thought that i’m the type of gf that will be fine with my bf having female friends or talking to other females casually like for example, asking about certain food places or wtvr BUT LOL I AM NOT FINE WITH THAT?? like ya know how ppl say things like “aiya as long as my bfgf knows where to draw the line it’s fine bc i trust him/her” which i completely agree on but i still feel quite shitty ah honestly saying even tho it’s not like he’s flirting around and i trust him like 100% man i don’t even look thru his phone or wtvr like i know some gfs do to their bfs and vice versa but it’s just that the thought of them talking to someone behind ur back is what rly gets me?? and the fact that udk what’s on the mind of the other person also (may never know if the actions/replies of ur bfgf can make them think that they’re tryna flirt w u n shit idk) haha maybe i’m just thinking too much la or maybe i’m just protective of what’s mine?? i know my bf isn’t a property or a tool or wtvr but ya know that feeling of losing someone is just really shitty la and idw to lose him again u get what i mean? i lost him once and that was one of the most regrettable decisions i’ve ever done and even to this day i know han will prolly not like this, but i still think about it from time to time. like how everything could have been avoided and how much happier we could have if i didn’t bother so much about how bleak and dark our future will look together back then. i was a total fool ah so i rly dw history to repeat itself again. ahhh i’m horrible at explaining la srsly but i mean as long as i sorta get my point across then i guess it’s fine. like idk if he’s afraid to lose me or wtvr cus it’s been quite long since we last had any h2h about our feelings or thoughts about each other but i hope he feels the same or more. all i want are just good things for the people i love and treasure very much. then we went back around 1130pm, booked grab for han and it arrived around 150am

he has work later too but i heard him saying he might wanna paitao cus he doesn’t feel well rested

[survivor-mindoro]

Ep. 2: “Like herding very dumb sheep” ~ Seamus

I don't like my tribe, they literally all seem like losers. like I will be super shocked if we win anything. at least it will be like herding very dumb sheep when we lose. plus this idol thing will make getting and using idols hella easy

yay! Me and luke survived....thank god. But now were in tribes,and yes i love being in tribes but i hate missing my loved one. So to start this off i got an idol by combining mine with matts. And lets just say tgat was so fricken easy!!!! He trusts me because its like his first game and we became really good friends. So. After we agreed to combine them he basically said you hold onto it because i trust you. Um.....ok dont tell me twice,but this stupid immunity challenge came and nobodys doing anything. I dont wanna become a target by bossing people around but then again i wanna be safe. And what no reward challange???? That sucks i could really use some comfort items.

a little while later....

So........this tribe is alright so far. I really appreciate that we are all for right now being civil and working together to accomplish this lip sync video. I hope that everything goes well and I will be safe this round, I don't really know a lot of people in the tribe but I assume Julia might be the one to go if previous alliances still stand here. I'll check back after immunity results! xoxo 

OMG THAT CHALLENGE I SWEAR KILL ME NOW. i hope your safe luke

So wild losing huh, and its time for the amazing pre-jury stratagizing everyone loves!! Yay!! But seriously, i'm in a very good spot right now. Everyone on my tribe likes me, and my very deep participation in the immunity challenge definantly brought me into the goods with everyone else. Anyways, I have heard Mitch and Lukes names be thrown out, which is because they didn't participate in the immunity. Sad huh. I personally wan't mitch to stay, and so does seamus. But Dan says mitch should leave and im like ahhhh. I'll be back later with more information soon.

a little while later.....

Tbh karen HOW YOU BEEN GIRL u aint gonna see this like ever and i cant talk 2 u so ill pretend im talking 2 u here. Are you still being messy girl??? I KNOW YOUR ASS GOT CONNOR ON YA TRIBE AND HE IS AFTER YOU. PICK IT UP KAREN PICK IT UP.

So we escaped tribal council which is awesome like thank goodness i spent so much time on the challenge and then IT DIDN'T EVEN UPLOAD LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. but regardless i'm just a little salty at karen because they didn't send me her footage until like 10 minutes before the video was due...like why? but fo real it was way too close for comfort. hopefully the next challenge goes better...

so it's either Mitch or luke going home tonight, I'm pushing for Luke bc I think he will be better in challenges. But on the other hand I think luke will just do whatever I want so if he stays I'll pretend I voted Mitch and then make an alliance with him :)

Okay so, im worried about this tribal because PEOPLE are gonna get blidsided, and thats not a great thing to start the game off with. Blindsides on the second tribal?? Not very good. But hey, its not gonna be me atleast. Ill be back soon with a less vague awnser

I don't want to vote for Luke at all, but I'm actually making really good connections with other people that I didn't think I would, like Julia and Mitch. I think moving forward I'm going to just try to remain social for now and not be the chaotic, bitchy, paranoid gay that I normally am

Everything is still going okay. Kinda bummed that we lost the immunity challenge but hopefully I won't be voted out. I actually participated and tried to get a video in, unlike some people. Not even trying to be aggressive but hopefully me actually participating will keep me in this game through this tribal. So far I haven't made any great connections, I think that may be important to do soon. I really like Luke, but if what I am being told is true, he most likely going home this tribal, so I am shit outta luck there. I guess we will see how this all pans out, ugh.

a little while later...

Luke wants Dan to put his half idol together with his own.... I mean this could work. I don't quite know wht Dan is coming to me with this information, but he doesn't want Luke to go, and neither do I. So if we could make sure everyone votes Luke, and have Luke use the idol and vote someone else.... We could potentially save Luke and get rid of someone else.

so I have a super evil idea, I'm going to tell luke an alliance approached me of 4 others asking to vote him out and ask if I can have his half of the idol and ill play it on him tonight... then I wont and ill have an idol :)

WHEN YOU TURN CHAOTIC AF AGAIN BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER THAT LUKE IS YOUR DAD AND HE RAISED YOU AND YOU CAN’T VOTE FOR HIM SO YOU AGREE TO VOTE FOR ONE OF YOUR CLOSEST ALLIES

So, I was worried about a blindside, since Seamus and I wanted Luke gone over mitch. Dan and Pat wanted Mitch gone. And honestly I didn't want Mitch to flop and become pre-jouror again in a season, and I know Mitch and I have some sort of trust basis. So I was afreiad for the reactions of dan and pat, BUT I was informed a few mins ago by seamus that Dan is on board to vote Luke, so I got no need to worry.

Luckily tonight our tribe is safe from winning the challenge, although I'm a little bummed none of the footage I recorded was used in the lip synch video. The challenge was really close, and I wonder if the two tribes will continue to be this evenly matched, especially after tonight's vote. At this point, I'm just worried about Mitch and hope he stays in the game tonight.

Um so I honestly don't even know what's happening. I'm being told that I'm getting votes tonight but then Seamus wants to merge his idol with mine and keep me so I'm honestly shook. If he did that I'd want everybody to vote for me so then i could vote out Julia with my one vote and blindside Mitch because he thinks he could be safe right now. I just hope that it goes to plan because I do notttt want to be out.

Hello I might die really early already. 

So I didn't put in a video for the lip sync challenge because I'm not incredibly comfortable showing my face. I did my best to offer help/critique but I slept in until 3PM because of Sun/Moon and I don't think I was very helpful. Long story short, everybody did something except for me and Luke, so that's who the vote has come down to.   

I love Luke. I'm upset that Luke is in the same position as me. I want to work with Luke, but if I want to live, he's gotta die. This is shitty. 

I'm getting freaked out about how easily accessible idols are, too. If Luke gets an idol, I am dead. And I'm going to dinner during tribal. So even if I did fuse with someone, I wouldn't be able to save myself. I'd have to rely on one of my allies to play it on me in my absence.   

Get ready to flop. I hope I get host tea if I'm voted out. I hope Kyla does 12x better than me.

OKAY AHH IVE CONFESSED ALOT TODAY BUT LIKE OMG SO I WAS TALKING TO MITCH AND I GET ADDED INTO HIS SEAMUS/ASHLEY/HIM ALLIANCE AHHHH I love this game so much rn Lets pray im not messy like i was in motu maha

I didn't even know we won immunity until now whew so I'm popping bottles truly Also Julia? I don't know her? Idk how I'll feel if she gets voted out

[survivor-albania]

EPISODE 1: I never meant for this to happen... (Isaac)

Isaac

I never meant for this to happen when I created Supreme with Sam

Carson

well well well... the game has BEGUN! and as far as i can see? my tribe is iconic. but you know what isn't iconic? one world. i have my targets set in stone already.... so they better watch out, because carson's not afraid to strike.

Jordan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94dhy3yPjIc 

You gave me a tribe full of amazing people We got the minion fucker (Karen)- 

 The Furry (Jay)-

 and the Garlic Bread lover (lily)

Logan

I can't wait for me and connor to hate each other after this game! It's probably inevitable! Here we go kids

Liana

My tribe won't talk to me or give me suggestions for the flag so I'm sitting here like:

I hate my tribe so much. The plus side if we go to tribal they can't vote me out because I'm putting the most work into the damn thing. 

Alex P.

ugh yes @ the fact all of the people i know in this game are all on a tribe together and im not on it, ugh yes @ the fact one of my tribe members is going on vacation for the next 4 days, ugh yes @ the fact the first challenge is a shield making challenge and i can draw as well as my 5 year old sister

Punpun

i'm tired of living and these confessionals are extra.

Alex P.

why?? does nobody??? on my tribe talk???? why????? am i?????? the only one to do immunity??????? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsvnQc12S9Y

Jordan

I am very worried that someone has found the idol already because i want it. I feel like someone like Punpun Drew or Quinn has it but idk. 

If my tribe loses im going to be so sad because im going to target karen because i dont know how much i can trust her this game.

Rhone

hey bitches. so i've had a decent start in this game!! i like my tribe just fine and we did really well in the challenge bc i'm the queen of creative challenges tbqh. it's always nice to not have to scramble on the very first tribal. i do feel bad for the sandana tribe though especially since there's like a 75% chance that someone i know/could work with is gonna go home (kait, billy and punpun). so i kind of hope it ends up being logan getting voted out even though i like her a lot, we've just never played together before so yeah. i'm gonna talk to punpun today and try to get some tea about what's going on on that tribe. i've gone hunting for the idol a couple times but haven't found it, honslee i'm like 95% sure there's a big alliance already and they systematically went through all the combinations on the first night so one of them could find the idol...or maybe i'm just a paranoid [redacted]! survivor truly brings out the worst in me i'm so excited to have to go to tribal council and transform like a sailor scout into a petty bitch!! also super excited for the inevitable jalvin swap to 3 tribes of 6 after the tribal after this one! why am i psychic? why am i so iconic? stay tuned to find out!

Lily

I'm really glad that our tribe got immunity for the shield challenge, though I'm a bit upset that I didn't get to work on it thanks to shitty internet on my computer at the time. I actually really excel at these kinds of challenges, and I've won immunity in both Polynesia and (Storybook) Arrakis when I handled the flag designs. But I'm really proud of Karen!!! PS: HAPPY MCFUCKING BIRTHDAY PIPPA I LOV U

Ryan

Ok well this game is interesting I'll tell you that. The five tribes breakdown seems like something I would do, and I am insane. But I like it! I've never played a season that was unafraid to do bold things like this so I am excited! Throw crazy twists at me I love it! Then I met the cast. They never shut up. That one world chat is the worst thing I have ever been a part of. I quickly realized my strategy in this game would be to lay low and just make good one on one connections. There are so many previous relationships and feuds that I plan to let people fight it out and let me skate through. I have really good relationships on my tribe though. I am pretty good friends with Ricky and we align every game together, and we are always true to that and I 100% plan to stick with him. Rhone also has a positive vibe with me so that's cool. And Quinn is as inactive as they come so hopefully if we lose on this tribe she goes.

Carson

its pippas BIRTHDAY!

Ricky

ANYWAY. I'm still in a stable mental state bc Samantha Gaglio isn't here to throw me into an existential crisis and that's a win in my book

Brandon

so this is my first confessional. oh wow. we um won? i don't really know anyone on our tribe besides Liana who has voted me out 399895489549458 times. but i say the past is in the past. (2 weeks later) dies  

Liana

I'm a flop and keep meaning to record a video confessional but that's not happening today so let me catch you up on what's happening even though I'm probably the least interesting person because I'm not even going to tribal. Basically I've been having people approach me and rant to me about Ricky since I've been so open about my disgust with him. It's awesome. Jay was the first to do so because Kait and Ricky are so annoying in the tribe chat. That's when I decided to tell him about this idol I found. I also told Billy about it, but I think I'd like playing with Jay more because he's more active and such. Brandon then later ranted me about Ricky which is great because I thought things were so awkward between us because I literally always vote him out in every game we've played together (at least 2 or 3). We were able to finally find common ground and have less awkward conversations (way to go, Miss Rickens). I haven't made anything official yet but I think some sort of alliance could happen and maybe, just maybe, I could secure numbers against the Ricky squad. As much as I hate keeping him around, it'd probably be better to vote someone off like Kait because Ricky will get medevac'd anyway. Although, once ricky's gone, Karen's more of a free agent. Look at me, I'm so obsessed, but hey, this is how zootopia started and that went pretty well for me (even with finding an idol! The similarities are endless!) idk if there's a wiki yet so I literally have no idea who's going to tribal tonight or if my friends are in trouble, I guess I'll see. I really hope we go to tribal soon because Connor is on vacation and it'd be easier to get numbers against him when he literally won't work with me. I'm not sure how close Alex is to him so I'm afraid to bring his name up otherwise. Brandon says he's totally with me. Maybe y'all won't be dark-sided like Hawaii and actually have a tribe swap in case I can't vote Connor out soon. I'm trying to find a second idol too so that'd be cool.

Drew

Wait what the FUCK is that Who Are You video doing here, I'm crying.... ANYWAY This season is gonna be ugly??? Like I guess five tribes is better than seven but like???? 4-person tribes are so sinful. I'm thanking Jesus for Carson who I hope will play with me so I'll be okay in a vote? Isaac and I have never been super close but I'll see what can be done to work with him so nothing ties this first vote, if we come to a vote, because like idk this Alex kid, he's not around. He doesn't talk, and when he does it's to say he'll try the shield and then four hours later nothing worked out so he has nothing? Bye. Ugh I'm not ready for this shit...

Punpun

This game is already testing me. I have to choose whether to backstab my new friend logan who I enjoy, or ruin my game with kait and billy and probably get rocked out.

Jay

Um we won immunity and I love my tribe I hope Kait leaves tonight bye :)

Kait

Um I'm throwing hands if I get voted out. I don't like anyone on my tribe. It's a rig.

Billy

Whew so Pun is scared on me backstabbing them. But like I'm not going to so idk what to do. I'm. Going. To. Fucking. Scream. Kait dropped the ball on this competition so Logan and Punpun are gonna vote ME out? I'm gonna be the first boot. This... this has never happened to me before...

Connor

idk whats going on

(Logan walked from the game)