#bc i have a 2 year old and special needs 5 year old

[quadrantvacillation]

A day in the life of a parent is like the world's lamest horror story.

[lionlena]

☆MASTERLIST☆

Pedro Pascal

One Shot:

♡A kitchen disaster

♡Just let it go…

♡New job, new problems...

♡Just breathe

Series:

♡His Curls - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (completed)

♡Hate run, love speed - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (in progress)

♡We don’t love each other - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 - Final (completed)

Request:

♡A perfect day for a perfect girl (It's your birthday and Pedro makes you feel loved and special all day)

Headcanon:

♡What sleeping position do they most like when you are with them? (Pedro Pascal characters)💤

♡How will they react to your makeup? (Pedro Pascal and his characters) 👁️👄💅

♡Headcanon: How do they behave when you have a migraine? (Pedro Pascal characters)🩹😴   (+ Dave and Marcus)

♡Headcanon: How will they react if you tell them about CDD? (Pedro Pascal characters) 👰💔😱🤕  

♡Headcanon: Who will be ready to kill for you? From most willing to least... (Pedro Pascal characters) 🔪💀☠️🩸

♡Headcanon: How do they cook for you? (Pedro Pascal characters) 🥕🧑‍🍳🍓

Joel Miller

One Shot:

♡This is just a nightmare… (The Last of Us ff/ Joel/Ellie)

♡Strong for both of us

♡Trouble with ex

♡Dyeing your hair…

♡Together in happiness and depression… (no outbreak)

Series:

♡Unforgivable mistake, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, (in progress)

♡I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!) Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5... (in progress)

Request:

♡You need a better place (Joel loving a girl with epilepsy)

♡Blue dress (Joel Miller x plus size!reader)

Headcanon:

♡When Joel goes limp… (JoelMillerxf!reader)🤷🍆🩹

Javier Peña

One Shot:

♡I’ll protect you… (bc you’re mine)

♡I’ll hurt you… ( bc you’re mine )

♡I’ll leave you (bc youre not mine)

♡I'll stay with you... ( bc I love you)

♡You’re hot…

♡A girl from the street

Series:

♡Dancing With Your Ghost - Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Epilogue (completed)

♡Too many shadows behind you - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,  Part 4, Part 5 (in progress)

Headcanon:

♡Nicotine (JavierPeña and You)

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels)

Series:

♡Dynasty - Part 1, Part 2, (in progress)

One Shot:

♡Mean (JackDanielsxf!reader)

♡Llamas don't drink whiskey...

Headcanon:

♡What does Jack's ranch look like? 🤠🐴🐓🐮🧑‍🌾

Javi Gutierrez

One Shot:

♡Too hot

Frankie Morales

One Shot:

♡Lost cat

Marcus Pike

One Shot: 

♡"7.44 am"

Headcanon:

♡If Teresa tried to get Marcus back after years...

♡Marcus tells you about his meeting with Teresa...

Oberyn Martell

Series:

♡Red Viper and Fox - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (in progress, soon english version)

One Shot:

♡♕Queen's Milk

♡I Hold You

♡Remember me… (ANGST!)

♡Leave... (ANGST)

Headcanon: 

♡Headcoanon: Oberyn's finger kink... 🤤💦🤌

The Old Guard (movie)

One Shot: 

♡ Amira

♡ It hurts like hell    

[fantomette22]

What are some Maria headcanons that you have?

( @izunias-meme-hole)

Lady Maria headcanons post (part 1) :

Alright! Well I already share those a while ago : https://www.tumblr.com/fantomette22/743244500505378816/lady-maria-vs-keeper-of-the-old-lords?source=share  +couple of other around my blog

So I will try to share other things not just related to « Maria could do pyromancy from her living if she really wanted to but was actually terrified by it! Because she didn’t want to use her own blood to inflict pain and death. » also I won’t explain in detail how I hc she got her Rakuyo : by directly going to the East herself! (Yamamura’s country).

🍂But why did she name it like that? The Rakuyo? Well Rakuyo means « fallen leaves » right? Well, when she finally got her blade she needed to baptise it, to use it properly for the first time. And guess on what she uses it? A fallen leaf! (naturally falling in autumn). Cut it straight in two halves. And that’s how she knew how she was going to name it.

Enjoy the ride t's going to be long ;)

⚔️She got an Evelyn gun during her teenage years and before the Rakuyo she often train & fight with both a chikage and a reiterpallasch (she really like dual wielding 😎 or maybe with another sword like the shadow could have been a thing she fight with 🤔 but yeah I guess she was trained with all type of weapons) I wonder if she could have been a bit ambidextrous too.

⚜️Ok now concerning her family (tree) I have at least 5 different headcanons for it 💀but let’s just go with my main one aka the fic verse one (where she’s just Annalise’s cousin XD). Because if you get me started on the alternatives it’s just never gonna be over XD (those are really in very different timelines. It’s not really the same characters & events are different)

🩸I imagined she had quite a mixed relationship with her family. It’s like when you love them bc it’s your family, you like the good memories and nice moments you have, this little chill & special outings etc but there’s also some stuff you’ll never be able to forget or forgive them. You feel you need distance and be autonomous to not get hurt by them anymore, to not get frustrated and misunderstood. Just have news and share things outside.

She never really fit in with her peers. Kinda an odd one who just masks really well to fit into the mood when asked of her. I prefer to say « a (white) wolf » in a pack of hounds in context but yeah black sheep in a white flock if it’s easier to understand x) She had a lot of pressure on her shoulder as well (being the last pyromancer and not far in the line of succession)

But she really likes her close cousins which she grew up with (Annalise, Vled), a couple of other friends (Charles, Svetta, a couple of future young knights etc) as well as younger relatives and kids (Leo etc)! But she doesn’t get that much along with the others. Like she goes along better with the servants probably. 

⚜️She mainly grew up between Cainhurst and where her parents had lands and their manor (in the north, near a coast). Her parents are often not there because they are sent by the crown to places so it's complicated . When her mother is in a good mood that’s mostly fine, her dad is a bit more chill (he taught her how to play a lot of card games and poker too! She probably played 2-3 times with money at stake. She prefers amical things. She will absolutely beat your ass at it too. She’s the definition of having a poker face XD)

👑She was a lil bit raised like a future lady in waiting but more as future knight (page (of the king), squire, knight training etc really rough training too 💀 very dark shit hm like beat the shit out of people while wearing a full weight armor, swim in a ice lake and idk shot hm dead things… I swear there’s more fun things but hm yeah…)

That one really isn’t fun as well but i imagined that during her teenage years she already had to deal with mental health issues (due to well some pb with her family etc). Thankfully, she did get better after spending a summer a bit far away at a friend's home (to simplify). Still she got scared for some years afterwards that some of those dark thoughts would eventually return. Thankfully it didn't for most of her life. She got some happy times…Bad times too but not that bad until well probably more than 15-20y later where you know… she would sadly not make it out this time.

🌌She was accepted as Byrgenwerth and went to mainly study sciences, astronomy, but did learn a bit of theology as well as medicine (basic medicine stuff,  nurse & help midwife etc). She did 5y and got a master degree. She also participated in underground expeditions arranged by Byrgenwerth.

⭐️She probably know how to speak way more than 2 languages : whatever they speak in Yharnam, latin/pthumerian language, whatever the equivalent of Japanese is and probably a bit of other European languages too. Oh a north/slavic languages as well, because she had ancestors from there too).

🐴When she was very little they got some borzoi I guess but most of her life at Cainhurst she got 2 siblings crows (I have Phobos & Deimos names in my draft) as well as her own horse, named Filan. (mean little wolf in gaelic/irish apparently? Speaking of which Maria's nickname when she was little was "little wolf" maybe in another language too). She probably had a couple of plants too.

(suppose to be almost a full black horse but i’m not 100% settle because i could go full horsemen of the apocalypse aesthetic with other knights if i change the colors… but in my first draft that’s a black horse yes)

🔥When she was very little they discovered she could eventually have pyromancer blood power.It might have been a huge pride for them and honor for her but… clearly Maria didn’t want to become like the shadows of the antics pthumerian royals. A silent and hidden knight who kills without asking questions… clearly she wasn’t really found of this idea 😅 Thankfully for her she don’t know or to use such power and didn’t put much effort to try to learn it (in life she will probably accidentally use it 2-3 time…)

She highly respects a lot of traditions and culture from Cainhurst but there’s stuff like exposing the remains of animal prey that she found a bit barbaric. She doesn't mind others using blood blades and she will do it alone/ for training or even in choreography but she doesn’t wish to hurt or kill with it.*

💔So she was supposed to become a royal guard but things didn’t go like they should have…the poor young knights got into a fight with something by accident… a mortal trap they couldn’t win… only Maria made it out alive. Very hurt and slightly traumatized… She then had a huge fight with her family & relatives about what happened. She couldn’t even send news to her friends bc they forbid it to calm any rumors about what happened…Hm then Maria’s family decide to send her more north where her parents have lands etc so things calm down and she could ya know do her knight work or smt. Anyway she run away at Byrgenwerth💀

Sorry for the meme jebfekb I am not giving lot of details for now but it's highly link with my Knight & Beast of Cainhurst story.

(Why this meme too? Well due to rumours her friends legit thought she died 💀 she went to Byrgen only 1-2 months later. During the holidays. So she sent to like Ludwig & the other who weren't there letters to tell them she was ok. That's were came this meme XD)

❤️‍🩹Anyway she was partially disowned of some stuff for a bit and didn’t came back at Cainhurst for while. But after some times, her and her family wanted to both apologize and reunite, but without an occasion it would be complicated. Well, until a CERTAIN SOMEONE stole the forbidden blood to Cainhurst and tell them Maria helped 💀 (she had no idea, and he only did that bc he owns her one). So she didn’t approve but she kinda reconciled and they gave her the occasion to do a mission for them later on, in JAPAN (the Eastern land) and well you know the rest.

⚓️She had the occasion to go to « Japan » and have her dream of becoming like half in charge of a ship after getting her master degree! (she just did navigation stuff with the stars but maybe she was captain lol that’s what she wanted to do when she was little actually. But reading Evelyn diaries and not just the novels she realised how hard it was to always have such life h24)

Congratulations Lady Maria! 

After really hard years.. and trauma… and a exhausting presentation 

You win : 

a master degree in astronomy (sciences & other things)

a nice meal with your parents & family that congratulate you

a big part of your inheritance back!

a super wine bottle to share with your friends

 a trip to japan

finally your promised personalised double sword

a personalised hunting attire when you came back

to able to work with gehrman’s hunters & the healing church when you came back

So proud of you ❤️👏

✨Other lil hcs : 

Laurence made her very interested in religion. I am not joking, I sincerely believe he converted her somehow. / Made her very interest into great one religion etc

Gehrman saved her life more than once, she did the same. They went into lot of hunt training/camping trip as the beggining of being hunters.

She became great friends with Ludwig, Rom, Caryll, friends Damian too etc back at Byrgenwerth. With Micolash it was a bit more nuanced for a while. Before becoming close friends they were roasting each other often XD but respected each other too.

Her brooch either came from her mother or the late queen (aunt) so a family heirloom I guess. Ressemble a lumenflower. 

She helped the early healing church with treating people, make food, teach kids etc

She was highly respected by all the old hunters. Even if she had some tensions with dear Izzy at like the beginning they knew each other XD She earn their respect and everyone ended up very liking her being her kindness, abilities etc

When she was sent alone or with a couple of hunters to help in a secluded villages, people were of course really skeptical at first but she quickly proved them her worth.

I think sometimes she wears dresses…  but hey she never wears high heels or ballerina shoes (she hates it so hey she still has her special style! aka huge boots XD) It’s often very simple ones as well. Except at Cainhurst, it’s not very extravagant.

She loves to read tons of books (cainhurst library is there for smt XD)

With her cousins they loved to explore and wander the castle! At night too.. got them into trouble more than once.

Sometimes she wears sunglasses when it’s very sunny (poor girl has white eyelashes you see! she have an excuse)

She really loved the lumenflowers too like i explained last time.

She got some scars at the base of her neck. That’s why she almost always wear a jabot with her broach. (maybe on the hands too. that’s why she often has gloves).

She made (with a bit of help) Gherman’s red scarf while in japan.

“Of the Astral Clocktower” because she basically funded its construction with her own money. So like it’s partially hers on papers. (She did mostly astronomical studies & took care of the patients kind of like a nurse during her time at the research hall

She could play a couple of instruments (especially violin and cello). 

Of course she know many ballroom & court dance and taught other to others when they were invited to some places.

She actually can “sing” very well (but more music without real lyrics like the dream ost for exemple) ! She would probably almost never do that in public too.

Some books at the workshop are hers

Oh, did I already told she was very scared of pthumerian pyromancers before she fought the keeper of the old lords?

Ok now because I didn't know what to add to the post I asked some of my friends to help me with questions they wanted to know about! Thanks @heraldofcrow & @fareehaandspaniards there you go:

Was she comfortable with life at Cainhurst? (Before the Vileblood)

I think I answered that above ^ it’s very complex and complicated. Sometimes it goes well (especially in childhood) but sometimes it’s very complicated and not so good… (especially during teenage years and during some events where she got a lot of pressure and all. It got better after all this mess and Vilebloods mess of course (even if some distance was left compared to before). 

🩸🐦‍⬛Bloody Crow’s relation to Maria? 

In my main hc he’s the son of Maria’s cousin (Vled, the knight). So her little cousin basically. But to simplify I often say he’s like a nephew to her. I named him Voron! (I know very imaginative it means raven XD)  Still unsure if he’s born before or after the hamlet (probably after too) but in all cases Maria was around to help with the birth and to help take care of him for the first couple of days. She loved him very much. Also In the case something were to happen to his parents, well the king & queen would take care of him but if somehow they can’t/something were to happen to them too, Maria promised she would be the one to take care of him. 

Still, she died when he was very young. Probably like 3-6 years old. So he does remember a bit. But just a little and he has very good memories of her. But he also saw his family hurting from her disappearance and all and so he grew more mixed feeling but mostly it stays positive. He really looks like her in a lot of ways.

🕷️Rom and Maria friendship 🥺? 

I see you want to know more about their friendship! I think They had a wholesome friendship overall! But it didn't begins great. I am trying to write it in my fic since a few months but it's all hard and idk how to do that exactly XD

Like they were doing a group exercise and Rom was pretty bad and it (supposed to be quite easy) and Maria who got frustrated to explain it so much lash out a bit and tell her like “are you dumb or something?” 

Everyone in the class isn't very nice to Rom (and Maria) and said worst things behind her back so she thought that was, you know OK somehow and not that mean. But she quickly realized afterwards her mistake, that Rom was the Provost daughter and that she had some disability. But despite that, she was still trying hard and she must be very strong to have the lvl to be here you know! 

Maria feels very bad about it (Micolash had dark looks to give her too lmao)  but after a while (talking with other people cough cough) she decided to come to her and apologize sincerely and even try to help her on a few things.

Rom was quite surprised at first because nobody, you know approaches her like this to apologize and that's a huge thing considering Maria is from Cainhurst and a noble.

I mean she didn't even have hard feelings against Maria because everyone else is way meaner and she kinda forgot about it. She was quite surprised but also very thankful and they began to talk more. Micolash was the most surprised and he told Rom to be careful to not get walk over, to not believe lies and stuff but he quickly realized that it was genuine. And Rom had to reminded him (with Damian) that well, when he first meet Rom he was kinda of a bully at first!  Before becoming a mother hen with Damian.

So yes the two girls began to talk about a lot of things! She even got invited to Rom’s room. There’s tons of insects and underglass and stuff but generally people don't like that but Maria found it cool! She got some back home too and found it very interesting actually! So they quickly became friends with all the little gang. And also they are basically the two girls of the squad! I mean Caryll is in the girls squad too but they can also be in the boys squad so yeah anyway you know how girl besties can be x) you don’t share the same things exactly. Plus Caryll & Rom are really in the must protected squad.

 Maria even defends Rom from her family when she came back for the holiday and they asked her if she made some friends and who they were and stuff. And you know uh Mara had to told them in a very exaggerated manners that « oh I'm friend with the Provost daughter you know! » (You know because that's what they want to know, if she made strong connections with interesting people before anything else…)

But of course, you're going to have very rude comments from some relatives or something who’s going to say “oh the retarded one?” 💀  And everyone's looking at him like “can you please not say it like this?”  Poor Maria just standing there and dunno what to say because she really cares about her as a friend. She doesn't just want to have friends to show off she has important contacts. She genuinely values those friendships. Sadly, she can’t just tell her family that her friends are mostly “the weird introvert group kids! just like me!”(so she talk about Ludwig too! but don't put too much details on others…)

So yeah they stayed great friends for years. Sadly, in tough moments they didn’t really share what hurt them to the other… (after kos etc maybe a bit but not too much)

🗡️🛡️What or who inspired Maria's path of knighthood in her youth?

History books & knight novels! Her grand uncle, the other knights, king etc, Her family push her/ “let her choose” that way as well.

Lady Evelyn stories (she was like Maria grand aunt/ cousin of her grandparents, mostly an adventurer).

The bodyguard of Annalise’s mother who was at first a mercenary sent to Loran before becoming a royal knight.

🍜What were Maria's food preferences?

Hm i think if it looks/smells average and edible she’s actually not that complicated XD She made a lot of effort through the years to get used to more common and simple food.

My poor girl couldn’t really cooked anything when she arrived at Byrgenwerth besides cutting basic things, make tea, made ramen and skins animal meat (like rabbit) before Gehrman thought her other recipes 😭 (she made great soups afterwards! hunters like it, she cuts aliments well XD but yeah my boy cooks well for everyone he made her liked many simple things that if not done well many don’t like. But bro is the only one who probably likes some chard gratin or something out of everyone…)

Like most of her family, i supposed she would very much enjoy some rare/medium rare meat XD but when it’s EVERYDAY she got very tired 💀 I mean she tried to tell her family it was too much so they respected her wishes and gave her only vegetables for a couple of days… but not like normal meals no! like a whole ass not decorticate salad or full ass carrots with skins and all! 💀 She rapidly apologized like you can guess. (still she can’t stand those damn carpaccio when there’s too much!)

Besides that yeah only non meat dishes don’t bother her at all, she would even prefer most of the time. She likes both sophisticated but also very simple dishes she discovered.  Exotic food from the east. Of course my girl liked sushis, fish, sea fruit etc. I mean she used to like it way more before… you know… afterwards many hunters couldn’t just smell white fish for a few days without feeling nauseous…. for Maria she just couldn’t bring herself to eat like 95% of white sea fish anymore… (I guess salmon and thon and lobster were still ok but that’s it really).

And well of course deserts are always so nice so whatever 🤤

🌻Her relationship with Adeline?  /Who is Adeline to her in your interpretation? 

(Yeah both of you asked me this one! x) )

Well depending on the interpretations I have two main interpretations for her! (in the AU/very different timeline where Gehrman is like Maria's dad, that's her girlfriend lol) but in my main interpretation that’s not really the case. I prefer to see them as friends and very close friends I think? during her early time at the research hall. Another close friend she made who’s mainly outside of her main group. But both have quite an evolution through the years they knew each other. 

If i remember the draft in my head correctly it goes like this : 

After Maria graduated (and came back from her mission trip) she went to help the early healing church develop itself and its activities between hunts and going in the pthumerians labyrinth and that’s where she met Adeline.

I supposed Adeline is a Yharnamite? but she lost everything (her family. not sure what happened) and basically didn’t have a home anymore and clearly saw herself as worthless (poor girl had terrible self esteem issues all her life afterwards…) So the early healing church took in some people in need, gave them a place to sleep, eat and heal them if they were sick. Maria took care and helped Adeline during that time (after it was Laurence too).

And so the 2 became friends! In the end Adeline (who had nothing left) decided to dedicate her life to the healing church and helped others as well, so they saw each other with Maria afterwards! They advised each other and could have been a bit confident of each other as well. Of course Maria wasn’t very hyped when Adeline became a blood saint fully (seeing the bad things it could do to people) but she respected her choices.

During the research hall, before Adeline took part in the experiments, she helped Maria, Rom, Caryll etc around with the patients & other things. I suppose because of some dreams/ exposure to something, the decline of everyone's mental health, and maybe other people asking her... she decided to give herself fully to those experiments as well in the end… Her death was one of the last straws for Maria...

----

I know I have more questions left but I am reaching Tumblr word limit soon so I will reblog/make a 2nd post (or even a 3rd)💀 with the rest of the most interesting (and huge) questions! It's not quite written yet but for now this should be a nice distraction and a good reading I hope!

[paracosmicessence]

Hey! I love your art so much 💖 I wanted to ask what program you use for 3D modelling?

aw thank you!! :3

and to answer your question i’m going to warn you this is going to be kinda long because i’m gonna use this post as an excuse to show my 3D models that aren’t awful (sorry lol).

i actually use two different programs, both for different purposes, but you don’t need to get both, it really depends on which kind of modeling you want to do.

1) the first is called Nomad Sculpt on the iPad, you do have to pay for it unfortunately but it’s definitely one of the best modeling apps for the iPad. i know Blender is free but my computer is really old and doesn’t run the program very well, and at this point i’ve already gotten used to nomad sculpt.

anyway tho, i use it for art-related things like the obvious 3D models, but recently i’ve been playing around with just making scenes to use as references for my drawings. they’re not anything impressive, most of the time i actually use it to make little figurines to print and turn into earrings/little friends that sit in my room just for fun.

i’m gonna show this first bc they look cooler once they’re printed and colored (also you can tell i printed mini crowley and aziraphale when my sonadow hyperfixation started bc i never actually painted crowley) (he’s just kinda sitting there oops).

the little red guys are actually my favorite bugs (goliath beetles), i made them about a year ago but i still wear them like every day.

and here’s what they look like in the app, it’s a little intimidating but once you get used to it it’s actually kinda fun just playing around and seeing what you can do.

2) the second program i use is Shapr3D (also for the iPad, but i think they made an update where you can run it on windows/mac). you also have to pay for this as a subscription which sucks, i’m only able to use it since the engineering program i’m in pays for it.

Shapr3D is one of the many CAD software programs out there, but it’s nice bc it’s very beginner friendly and very easy to use. CAD is mainly for architecture/engineering but i honestly think more 3D artists should give it a try. it’s really nice once you get the hang of it and (i’m probably biased bc i’m a student) i honestly prefer it over just normal modeling software because i feel like you can be a lot more creative with it.

right now for my engineering class, our semester final is to design and present something that’s functional, and we can either explain the math behind it or just 3D print it and demonstrate how it works, and i’m making a functional mini model of “the rack” trap from Saw III (i’m not psychotic i swear i’ve just had a Saw hyperfixation for 5 years).

i’m definitely gonna post it when it’s finished just bc i’m already excited with how it’s turning out, but for now here’s a couple at-home projects i’ve done:

(above) i have a bunch of wet liners and i designed a stackable holder thingy with bolts between the shelves and a little cute star screw to fasten it at the top.

(above) i also made a few rotating brush holders at home (bc the ones that actually rotate are like $40 for some reason) by buying a set of small sphere bearings at home depot for like $5 (that’s what those little metal things are inside the third one, i took it apart bc i don’t know how to put a video and a picture in the same post) (just pretend they’re spinning rn).

anyway that’s all!! if you actually read this whole thing i love you so much bc engineering and design is one of my special interests so thanks for letting me tell you about the silly things i’ve made :3

[shiftingtomydrs]

MLB DR

Alright so same as with some other drs my personal stuff like name and everything is the same soo wont go into that a lot tbh

then backstory, i originally wanted to be like an exchange student in france but then like i cant very well be ladybug if im only there for a year so i switched it to i move to france for some reason i dont know yet and i live there with my aunt or smth bcs she lives near paris yk? then basically i just kinda take marinettes place but not completely, like shes still there and stuff but im there too yk? my love interest is adrien and marinette will get together (and stay together) with luca cos theyre cute and im not sure yet if i should script her crush on adrien out or just say it disappears at some point

changes in plot: i dont like anything after season 2, dont ask me why, i just dont like it idk why either, so im gonna script seasons 3-5 out with some exceptions (e.g. i kinda really like cat blanc so i might leave that in with some other stuff but the whole shadow moth and all that shit no) also lila isnt the next supervillain shes just a regular mean girl cos it doesnt make any frickin sense that a 15 year old is able to manipulate every single person she meets. like shell still be able to lie and manipulate people her age but not adults cos thats just stupid imo. Also i havent even watched season 5 yet so im going off spoilers i saw for the next part: none of the miraculous will have permanent holders except ladybug and chat noir (aka me and adrien) cos i like to be special :) also i wont be guardian of the miraculous until much later like college or smth cos thats a ton of pressure and it went sideways for marinette so i dont want it going sideways for me. oh and a big one: ill be taking the whole sentimonster plot out cos i hate it and i think ive never hated a plot as much as that one. like sentimonsters can exist okay but felix and adrien and kagami etc arent one. cos just no. oh and ofc i wont know adrien is chat noir haha

now a bit more about myself: idk yet if i just wanna kinda steal marinettes interests and do the whole design thing cos i am a sucker for parallels and the parallel of adriens parents and adrinette is there but then again why would i wanna be like gabriel? so i might just do what i do in 90% of my drs and be a songwriter (well ill be that anyway question is do i add the designing part on top or not?), otherwise i like baking, ill do figure skating or gymnastics or ballet prolly like all the things i wanna do here but cant for this or that reason. my nationality will be german prolly cos i like having the german passport and also i dont think i need a visa for france cos its in the eu. i wont really script much more about like me and adrien except that we end up together but in my head its kinda similar to the adrien and marinette situation cos im a sucker for slowburn and idk it just fits i think also with my issues with trusting people have good intentions and not just spend time with me bcs of a bet or shit like that.

Physical looks, i might change my hair color cos idk i think itll fit and yeah but ill still have my eye color and height and stuff just be a bit fitter cos with my endurance theres no way ill be able to be a superhero (ik theres magic and shit but still)

im not sure yet if i should leave the dr as a cartoon or do it like this reality (leaning towards this reality bcs i think cartoon would freak me out a bit for my first shift and id overcomplicate it) or maybe ill just do two drs, one cartoon and one not.

anyway, if you have any questions, id love to talk more about this dr so pls ask them <3

@ningsols here it is :)

[heymeowmao]

2024.01.06 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324986957909590120

[t/n: wow, so laggy.]

1:10 LYN: Today we have an outdoors stream, a little like the last one. We’ll be taking everyone out to play, today. A special outing. LYN: Xiao Fang- Fang Yilun- has arranged a very cool itinerary for us. As for what it is, let’s go find out together. FYL: It’ll be Activities for Young Folk, mostly because we’ve been cooped up in Hengdian for too long. We have to be positive! LYN: We’re headed for the big city. FYL: Yes! We’re going to celebrate your birthday as an eighteen year old should! I’ll show you how an eighteen year old in Hangzhou should spend their birthday.

2:03 - LYN asking fans not to send presents, otherwise he can’t see the comments. LYN: You don’t need to wish me a Happy Birthday, either. Today isn’t my birthday- it’s on the 8th. - FYL laughing bc he’s thinking LYN’s fans don’t know when his b-day is, probably. LYN: It’s not my birthday today, but I probably won’t have any time on the 8th, so I thought I would have my “birthday stream” today. Of course, I would like to thank weibo and all of the friends who have come to my stream today to support me. LYN: I know the presents are free, but you don’t need to send them so aggressively. C: The sound is so small. LYN: WHAT?!? Seriously? Is the sound small? C: Can’t hear clearly. LYN: You can’t hear clearly? We’re wearing mics, and you can’t hear us clearly?? What are you talking about?! Let me test it. / You should be able to hear it…? C: We can hear FYL’s but not yours. FYL: Why don’t I switch with you? LYN: No, no. / You can hear clearly now? FYL: I was thinking, maybe I should switch with you? Because I have a loud voice. LYN: It has nothing to do with how loud your voice is- I have a loud one, too. - adjusting the mic position to see if that helps (it doesn’t).

4:20 LYN: Another thing- I just want to say. We just want to relax and wander around today, so if you figure out where we are, please don’t come to find us. Okay? Thank you. PLEASE don’t come to find us. If that happens, and we get surrounded we’re probably not going to able to stream and we’ll leave. Because these are public spaces, okay? Promise me. If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. You’ll take cars by the droves and then come surround us like you’re watching monkeys in a zoo. That’s uncomfortable. Okay? I really hope you can let us have a smooth stream today. We have a lot of things planned, so we’ll probably stream into the night and through to midnight. FYL: Let us have our together time with just the two of us. LYN: Right, of course. But we’re also spending our time together with you in the stream.

5:15 LYN: Let’s go, then! FYL: We’re off. - masking up & LYN tells FYL he doesn’t have to have the camera on him while he does that. FYL: Okay, then I can only let you reluctantly see me. C: How handsome! FYL: Are you talking about him or me? FYL: !! Wait, what should we call each other when we’re out there? How about you call me Shisan? LYN: No, it’s ok. Anything’s fine. FYL: Just call you by your given name?? LYN: No, just like “Hey!”

6:30 - hallway FYL: I’m not that familiar with these parts anymore, but if it were 20 years ago- FYL: 20 years ago, I was really familiar with these parts. Because my dad used to be in the clothing business-foreign trade, so after my dad got off work he would pick me up from elementary school and we’d wander around here.

7:10 - elevator LYN: If the sound continues to be low, later we’ll just stop using the mics. We’ll just use the phone’s audio input. FYL: /looking at their reflection in the mirrors/ Wow, we’re so fashionable! We look like some sort of duo.

8:00 LYN: We’re heading directly there? To our first destination? FYL: Straight there. LYN: Is it a far walk? FYL: Not too far. 300+ meters. Do you think that’s far? LYN: No, it’s okay. FYL: If you think it’s far, we can also take a car there. XD - discussing methods of transportation

8:27 FYL: There are quite a lot of people by West Lake today. I was really afraid that it would be raining when you came, today. If it were raining, we’d be under an umbrella… then we can visit the Broken Bridge. [t/n: known for the love story between Xu Xian and the White Snake]

8:47 - still trying to troubleshoot the audio FYL: I still think I should switch with you. LYN: There’s no need. I’m closer to it than you are. FYL: No, it’s okay. - /switched mics/ FYL: Ask them how it is, now. Because I have a naturally loud voice, anyway. LYN: How is it now? Is it okay? / /to FYL/ You try. FYL: Hello, hello. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3. LYN: Is it okay now? Ok. LYN: I’m sorry. As a singer, I can’t believe I’m not louder than an actor.

9:46 LYN: See. Earlier you said that there are a lot of people by West Lake, and now everyone knows we’re in Hangzhou. FYL: Oh no! LYN: It’s okay. It doesn’t make a difference.

10:48 LYN: It’s normal that it’s lagging. That’s the charm of a livestream. The charm is that it will lag. It’s random like that. LYN: Wow, there are really a lot of people. LYN: /seeing a comment/ You can’t hear Xiao Fang anymore? /deep sigh/ See. These things aren’t very reliable. FYL: Oh. Here- there are two... squirrels? LYN: Oh!! I see them. FYL: There, there! LYN: I see them! FYL: People will come to feed them.

- FYL listing all the things they could do, if they had more time. 12:44 LYN: Someone asked an embarrassing question: The two of you are walking along and no one has recognized you? LYN: No, it’s normal that they can’t. We’re not some big/very popular celebrities or anything. We’re just average. It’s not important. It’s better that they DON’T recognize us. - psa: please don’t come to find them - discussing where to go

C: I can tell that you’re handsome guys at a glance! LYN: No, no. He’s very handsome, but in real life I am very basic. FYL: Wow! If you say that, I’m gonna get cyber-bullied!! LYN: Pu Xin Nan. The “most trustworthy man in all the world.” (普天之下最适合信任的男人) FYL: The “most confident man in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人) LYN: Yes! That’s also right.

14:20 - looking into how/where to buy tickets for the ferry 14:48 - lyn showing us all the people

14:57 FYL: You probably don’t have these in the North, right? LYN: What? FYL: They’re like… those insects that make noise? Guoguo (katydid)? LYN: Ququ (fighting cricket)? FYL: No, not ququ. LYN: Then, probably guoguo. FYL: Right- the ones that chirp. When I was little there were a lot of those around. And people selling flashlights and lanterns. I loved playing with those and had a row of them in my house.

LYN: The first time I came to Hangzhou it was the year I participated in Super Boy. FYL: In Hangzhou? LYN: Yeah. Me, from Dongbei, attended Super Boy in Hangzhou. But I didn’t even pass the auditions. FYL: No way. LYN. Yeah. Then I was pretty down and came around West Lake to wander.  FYL: Is it because the pool in Dongbei was too poor and you couldn’t prove yourself? LYN: No, it was because they’re too good! There’s the Shenyang Music Academy, there; and various music schools. But then when I got here I found out that the music academies here are even more impressive.

15:52 - got distracted by more squirrels and decides to show the stream bc he feels like there’s no content going on. [t/n: they’re cute and fat. (or is it because they are well fed?) the tails look shorter than those of squirrels around me. :p]

17:27 - found the line for the ferry. it’s super long, with about a 30 minute wait for the next one. LYN: Let’s find some place with less people to hang out, then. LYN: For our first stop he was planning to take me on a boat ride on the lake. How romantic is that? FYL: I just didn’t expect there to be so many people. LYN: That’s probably normal. But anyway… we’ll not go boat riding this time. FYL: It used to be that there were a lot of boats docked at the side, and it would be like catching a cab to get on one. FYL: I guess we’ll have to find a bench or something. LYN: Let’s look for somewhere with less people. We’ll have a chat.18:50 - FYL recalling how there used to be aluminum boats around that you could rent and steer yourself. (the ferry is more expensive.) FYL: A friend and I came to ride a boat, and we were trying to get to the middle of the lake. Have you ever ridden in an aluminum boat? LYN: No. FYL: We used up all of our strength to row to the island in the middle, and then we couldn’t row back. It was July and the sun was huge. I could see as clear as day as my friend started “frothing at the mouth.” He looked like he was being cooked silly, and I asked him, “Are you okay? You don’t have heatstroke, do you?” He just smiled back at me, and his lips were so white. LYN: When you’re young you just have to go all out.

20:00 - still looking for a less populated area to sit and chat LYN: Don’t send us any special effects- I can’t see the comments that way. There’s nothing planned- I just wanted to take you around, since I’m usually always streaming from home. It just so happened that FYL had time, so he agreed to keep me company. LYN: If you know where we are, please don’t come to find us. Thank you. If you really come then it would become a bit more troublesome. We just want to wander around. There are other places we’d like to go, as well.

21:28 - found a place to sit! FYL: Alright, then let’s make some of Hangzhou’s specialty. LYN: What is it? West Lake Dragon Well tea? FYL: Lotus Root Powder. LYN: Lotus Root Poweder??!

21:59 - C: The two of you, please explain what you meant by “HE” (happy ending of YNGS). LYN: They finally caught us. The fans of the drama have been trying to catch us for half a month, and they’ve finally got us. They need an explanation. 

LYN: What are you up to? FYL: I’m making the lotus root powder! LYN: Oh! / I’ll get it on camera for you. This looks like the way a fashionable young person would spend their days! FYL: Young people in Hangzhou spend their birthdays just like this! / How come it’s not coming out right? LYN: They come out and drink a bowl of porridge to start? FYL: It’s lotus root powder… LYN: I- OMG, is that drinkable?? FYL: It’ll definitely be good! No problem!! Trust me. Wait for me a second. 22:50 - FYL leaves to find some tools. LYN: /picks up the cup and jiggles it/ WHAT IS THIS??? How come it looks like the mucus that you’d spit out- Is this edible?? Eurgh. LYN: I don’t think we made it right. WE probably need some sort of tool. C: You need to mix it. LYN: He went to find a pair of chopsticks. C: Use your hand. LYN: Use my hand to mix it, then down it?? 23:45 - FYL came back, and LYN’s surprised that he found any tools. FYL: /picks the cup up to mix it/ Oh? How come it become one chunk? I’m going to dumo it and try again. FYL: Give me another chance!

C: How long will you stream for, Ning-ge? LYN: We don’t have a time limit or things that we need to do. We’ll stream for as long as we want to. FYL: I think I poured too much! It’s too thick, LYN: Right, maybe less? FYL: Does anyone know how much I’m supposed to use?? LYN: Why does this seem like the sauce we make in Dongbei? I’ve really never had lotus root powder before. FYL: It’s really good! C: Use boiling water. LYN: We are. FYL: It’s hot water. How can we use cold? FYL: Do you like it thinner or thicker? LYN: I’ve never had it before! Thinner, I guess? I don’t think I could get it down if it were thicker. LYN: There’s only one cap? FYL: No, there’s another one. C: Use cold water first. LYN: It’s okay. It’s fine like this, too. It works. / They said we need to use cold water to melt it first. FYL: Really? Then I’ll try it with the next one. LYN: Give me the small cup! I can’t take this much. FYL: Shit- Oh, sorry. I  think this is so romantic! LYN: Really? FYL: Yeah, don’t you think this is really romantic? LYN: It is, it is. FYL: Isn’t this better than sitting down and spending lots of money in a restaurant? Isn’t it more romantic? LYN: I don’t think it’s to that extent. I’d rather eat something from a restaurant. I don’t want to eat this! It’s weird! FYL: Oh my goodness, I think it’s so romantic. LYN: (abt the lotus root) Maybe it’s too little? FYL: It’s too thin. LYN: It’s too thin. Add some more. FYL: /pours some more starch/ Is that too much, now? LYN: It looks okay. It has the feeling of making cornstarch slurry. It doesn’t look like yours is working. FYL: ? Exactly how much of this powder am I supposed to put?? I think I failed again! Was that cold water method they told you about correct? LYN: Looks like cold water isn’t it. FYL: I think we should have just used the hot water directly. LYN: Yeah. FYL: Let’s try again. LYN: Again? Oh, no. We wasted some more of it. 

26:32 - fourth time’s the charm? LYN: This really looks like the cornstarch slurry. FYL: That should be the correct consistency. LYN: Sorry, friends. I even told you that I used to be a cook. We can’t even figure out how to make lotus root powder correctly! FYL: Look! Once we used hot water it came together! LYN: Right. That looks right. FYL: But it’s too hot, so maybe add some cold water? LYN: Cold water…? FYL: Yeah, it’s actually just warm. LYN: Won’t that… won’t that… FYL: Make chunks? LYN: It’s okay. It should be fine.

27:14 FYL: Wow, this is the first time in my life I’m making you a meal. LYN: Thank you. LYN: Are we one-shotting it? You go first. - FYL takes a sip & dies LYN: What’s wrong? Was it too hot? - FYL recovers, pours more of the cold water into his cup. (so yeah, it was hot.) FYL: You have a little. LYN: Yeah, I’ll have some. FYL: Wow. I burnt myself to death.

27:54 - cheers FYL: Drink it slowly. - LYN takes a sip & assesses the situation going on in his mouth LYN: It’s alright. A little bit better than what I was imagining.

- /keeps looking around/ LYN: Why do I feel like we’re doing something wrong?? I feel guilty. It’s as if we stole these bowls from somewhere. FYL: Like someone else made them and set them here, and we came and stole it? LYN: We should finish it and run. - /slurps and savors (?) it/ LYN: It’s alright. Like drinking porridge. FYL: This is a bowl of lotus root by West Lake. It’s not just any normal bowl of lotus root. LYN: Right, right. It’s West Lake Lotus Root. With the name attached it sounds much more expensive. FYL: We’re not drinking Lotus Root. We’re drinking in the feeling.

28:55 LYN: You all can hear us clearly now, right? It’s working? The sound isn’t small, right? If it’s not, then- (pans the camera to FYL) Explain to us what “HE” meant. FYL: How could you throw this question to me?? I guess we should answer it, though. But weren’t YOU the one who said it was an “HE”? LYN: No, I- Did I say it?? FYL: It was you! I explained it, though. Just as “河, 河, 河, 河”. LYN: Oh, it’s all in the river?

29:40 - FYL telling LYN that there’s a street some ways over, and there’s a very famous restaurant on that street. The building above that restaurant is currently showing huge YNGS posters. LYN: Thank you, YNGS.

30:10 C: DId you cry while watching the ending? FYL: I didn’t cry when watching myself. I cried for other people, though. FYL: I saw you crying for me, and cried. I’d never felt so sorry for myself. - /slurps the last of his lotus root/ LYN: I finished. It was okay. Nice and warm, a little like drinking porridge. FYL: The weather today is not that bad, either. LYN: Yeah. It’s been a long time since I came out just to sit, too. LYN: They’re saying that your sound is small. FYL: Is it small? - /making adjustments/ LYN: It’s our first time using this equipment, so we’re not good at it yet. 31:19 - FYL gets up to start cleaning up their stuff. LYN: Look. We came out today and Xiao Fang even brought a small suitcase. A very cute and pink color.

31:49 LYN: What day is it? Saturday? FYL: I don’t know. Actors don’t remember what day of the week it is. We only know the date. 

32:35 FYL: I feel a little sad. We didn’t get to accomplish the most romantic part of my plans for today. LYN: What were you planning? FYL: A boat ride on the lake. I brought a bluetooth speaker, and we would listen to 奉上. LYN: Seriously?? FYL: We’d listen to 奉上 on top of the West Lake. LYN: Oh.. that does sound quite romantic. It’s okay- let’s find a different spot. An empty alley somewhere no one else is. We’ll put the speaker on and sit on the ground. We can still listen to 奉上 and it will be a unique romantic experience nonetheless. 

LYN: Let’s go, then. Let’s find an alley! FYL: Like thieves, in an alley? FYL: Today is the first time I’ve learned that even benign romantic can be forced. XD - finding thier way back FYL: Why don’t we just listen to it in the car? LYN: That works!

34:00 - FYL asking LYN if he knows about this certain type of grass that grows on the West Lake. LYN asks if it was the grass that was floating on top of the water? They go to look at it and LYN says- “I think that’s just plain grass.” LYN: Do you want to fish some up and try it?

34:50 LYN: We’re a pair of Exploring Streamers. FYL: I think we’d be the first to find any adventure at West Lake. LYN: I don’t think there’s anything to explore. FYL: Do you think we’d be arrested if we were to actually fish the grass from the lake? LYN: I don’t think so. They wouldn’t arrest us for pulling up a couple pieces of grass. It’s not even worth the gas money. 

35:50 LYN: ! I think we should take pictures there! FYL: There are so many boats here now! Oh, but people still have to line up. LYN: Yeah, there are a ton of people over there. LYN: Let’s take pictures in turn. Stand over there and I’ll take a picture for you. They’ll (the viewers) will take a screenshot. LYN: Stand more by the edge! We came to see the West Lake, after all. LYN: !! You still want to hold that (the pink suitcase)?! - LYN’s turn for a pic. LYN: I want the suitcase, too! Oh, but I don’t want it to look like I have a collaboration with the brand. Then, forget it. - /changes his mind and grabs the suitcase anyway./ LYN: It’s okay. We don’t want it to be obvious that it’s us. It just serves as proof that we came. 

37:50 - Making their way back and finds someone shooting for a program and instatntly turns into a tour guide, introducing Xihu. LYN: You can take a boat ride and make lotus root powder. FYL: You can find an alley to listen to 奉上. LYN: I welcome everyone to come to Xihu on travel.

38:51 FYL: Did you go around Xihu the last time you came to Hangzhou? LYN: The last time? FYL: When you came here before. LYN: I did, once. That was many years ago. Maybe… 6-7 years ago? FYL: Did you ride the boat? LYN: I didn’t. I just wandered around and then went to visit Lingyin Temple. FYL: The first time I went to Lingyin Temple, I went alone and then I was scammed. I THOUGHT the temple I had gone to was Lingyin, but apparently there are a lot of different “Lingyin” temples. My friend had ended up fooling me. They told me it was THE Lingyin Temple, and I was fool enough to believe it.

40:04 FYL: Do you see it? LYN: What? FYL: /points/ LYN: Oh my goodness! FYL: I told you, it was huge!! LYN: Can you see something lighting up this street? LYN: WOW! Seriously?!? FYL: /laughing/ I told you!! LYN: Can you see this??? The highlight of this video frame?41:13 LYN: This wasn’t planned at all. We just happened to bump into it. LYN: Nice. It looks like YNGS (production) spent a fair amount of money. LYN: We should take a picture, here. Please screengrab it for us. Thanks!

43:04 LYN: Wow, this angle is so cool. Oh- it ended. I was planning to show the glass but then it turned into the metal. - /Commenting on how it’s difficult to park by West Lake, because all the parking is usually always taken up. But also that’s good, because it means that people are taking the time to enjoy it./

44:03 LYN: Hangzhou is really quite nice, though. Since we’re in Hengdian filming for long periods of time, sometimes I want to come to Hangzhou to eat delicious foods. Shop around, then return to Hengdian. Since it’s close by. - /commenting how Hangzhou is known as a food city, but how nowadays you can find any type/region of food from anywhere./

45:06 LYN: Right now we’re on our way towards the car, and then we’ll move on to the next destination. LYN: There’s nothing planned, though this sort of counts as my b-day stream. Most people spend it in a room, but I think that’s not much different from how I usually stream. That’s why I thought I would try something different today. LYN: I won’t be streaming on the 8th- I have filming. This counts as my birthday stream, alright? Also- it’s not like I celebrate my birthday, anyway. I’m already this old, what’s there to celebrate? But since you miss me, I still thought I should stream. - /got scared by a person/

----------

- /heading for the car (in the underground parking)/ - in the elevator, they comment on the weather (it’s warmer than usual), and FYL says he feels like he hasn’t seen properly ever since they went out- because the breathe from inside the mask is foggin up his sunglasses XD.

47:22 FYL: Do you have a signal? LYN: Yes! 5G! LYN: Someone complimented us, calling us two Handsome Brothers. FYL: We’re alright~ LYN: Just average~ Puxin Men. X’D The “most confident men in all the world.” (普天之下最有信心的男人)

48:05 C: A handsome pair of men, even though I can’t see clearly… LYN: You can’t see clearly but you’re still complimenting?

- FYL starts the car and LYN comments that it’s so loud it sounds like a tractor, lmao.

48:53 - FYL’s Lost His Phone?!? (he goes to check in the suitcase) LYN: We lost his phone. Oh, no. This is the charm of a livestream. You never know what’s going to happen. C: You were just taking pictures with it. LYN: Right. Right! He gave me his phone to take photos with! It’s in my pocket! /checks his pockets/ FYL: Weren’t we just taking pictures with it? LYN: Yeah. What happened after? LYN: Are you serious?? FYL: There’s no way, right? - /still checking his pockets/ LYN: Why don’t you call it? FYL: That’s so strange… LYN: Yeah! After we took pictures… we didn’t stop, right? We didn’t stop to sit somewhere? FYL: We didn’t stop anywhere. LYN: Call it. FYL: “It’s currently in use.” LYN: ?? What does that mean?? FYL: ! There’s a sound! OMG, that scared me to death! It fell to the side of the seat. It’s okay though, even it I did lose it. LYN: We found it. It was to the side of the seat. Look at our handsome driver. LYN: ! Seatbelt, seatbelt. 

51:26 LYN: Friends, we were making more scenes for ourselves. We pretended the phone was missing, so that the viewers might gain a sense of- FYL: They might go to where we were and look for it?? LYN: We designed a thrilling scenario so that everyone in the stream can be worried for the lost phone. In the end! What you didn’t expect was for us to find it right beside his seat! Too thrilling. FYL: How was our acting? Not bad, right? XD

52:20 FYL: Let me ask you- for the New Year’s stage, why did you cry? On the stage. LYN: Why did I cry? Because I’m a crybaby. FYL: Were you emotional? But honestly, I saw you wearing those clothes and got emotional myself. FYL: Is that your actual costume from the drama? - gets distracted by people taking pictures of the car FYL: Do you think they’ll get a picture of my license number? LYN: Do you think an artist’s license number is a secret? -  But LYN asks viewers to please don’t take pictures of the license plate number. LYN: Oh, so you drive a Ferrari. FYL: As if- I can’t afford it. LYN: Xiao Fang could continue to work hard~ - singing along to 奉上 (sounds good!) FYL: Do you have lyrics? If I said that I can’t remember the lyrics to this song, would it (look bad)? LYN: It’s not important. - FYL harmonizes a line w/ LYN, but LYN didn’t sing that line out loud.

54:33 C: FYL is such a good person! LYN: He’s great! If he weren’t a good person, then we wouldn’t have become friends. 

55:17 FYL: That time we went through the Weibo Headquarters, right? And you sang a couple lines… (LYN: My hair is messed up!) FYL: I went home and was thinking. This song- when I heard you sing it in person- sounded quite high. So when I went woke up to shower the next day I grabbed a bluetooth speaker and tried to sing along with the chorus. I sang my voice hoarse. LYN: /laughs/ That song’s a little high for me as well.

56:40 LYN: I’m guessing- those people who were taking pictures of your car earlier? They probably didn’t know it was US. They probably just thought the car look cool. Really! Because the color is nice. FYL: That makes me sad. LYN: LOL. That the car is more welcome than you are? I don’t think those people were watching our stream, in any case. They weren’t taking pictures of us, I get the feeling they were trying to take pictures of the car. 57:28 C: What color is it? LYN: Pink. /giggles/ LYN: Why is it that FYL can play YSS? This is one of the reasons- he’s flashy enough.

58:00 - complaining about other drivers who don’t follow the rules of the road. LYN: They’re getting reported! 

58:35 - makes a comment about singing Zhang Jie’s songs (t’s hard) 58:59 FYL: But with singing, too. You have to constantly sing. It’s like working out/training your body. LYN: Ywah, you have to keep at it so that you can maintain the skill. FYL: So that’s why every now and then I have to shout my voice out. LYN: Sing every once in a while. FYL: In that case, when I’m on set in the next few days I’ll just have to- /starts singing, loudly/! LYN: If you do that, you’re gonna get hit. C: That scared me to death! LYN: Because you’re wearing the mic!! FYL: Oh! I’m sorry!! I forgot. LYN: No worries. This is also an effect of live streaming.

1:00:02 LYN: The first round was faking we lost the phone. This round is suddenly shouting and scaring you to death. 

1:00:23 - 别梦寒 FYL: This song is also really nice. LYN: This song IS nice. But it was included less, so people heard it less. I really like this song. It’s one that can be considered in the Top 3 of all OSTs I’ve sung in the past couple of years. C: What’s Number 1? FYL: That’s a good question. LYN: There is no Number 1 or 2. There’s no ranking. FYL: But at least you know what Number 3 is. C: There are a lot of new fans. LYN: Thank you.

1:01:25 LYN: Have you arranged a dinner for tonight? FYL: No. LYN: ?? You don’t have plans? You’re not going to treat me to a meal?? You called me over to Hangzhou and you’re not even going to feed me dinner? FYL: Is instant noodles okay? LYN: Okay. // You DID give me a bowl of lotus root powder for my birthday though, yes. But anything other than that? C: What’s for dinner? LYN: I don’t know. He said he didn’t have anything- instant noodles, I guess. We’ll come back around to this later. When we’re in a pinch with filming we don’t have the time to eat at all. FYL: Especially if you have to shoot night scenes. LYN: Are you going back to Hengdian tonight? FYL: /confirms/ LYN: Then, let’s go back together. 

1:02:24 C: Isn’t Hangzhou food hub? LYN: It’s because it is! There are too many good foods (so you can’t choose). FYL: When you have too many choices, the best choice is a pack of instant noodles. FYL: We’re both capricorns. So we’re more conservative. LYN: Is that so? Us two capricorns are so loud and noisy now, so what forced us to be this way? Look at what this industry did to us. FYL: What’s your rising sign? LYN: Scorpio.

1:03:05 C: Are you playing with beads? LYN: I’m not playing with them, but I’m wearing them. 

1:03:30 FYL: All of a sudden my mind has settled. It feels like I’m in a daze. LYN: That’s good. I used to like driving while listening to songs- going out to some deserted place in the middle of nowhere. I’d stop the car and just sit there. - realize they don’t have anything to drink, so they’ll stop by to grab something later 1:04:00 C: I requested time off to watch you stream. LYN: That’s not necessary! Our stream isn’t very exciting. FYL: Our stream is suited for days where you have the day off and you’re still huddled in your blankets because you haven’t thought of what you should do. LYN: Right. When you’re bored, you can play this as something to listen to, on the side. FYL: Maybe if you want to watch tv, you’d have to walk to the living room. But you don’t want to get out of bed so you can watch this on your phone. LYN: But nowadays I just use my phone to watch tv, also. My tv at home hasn’t been turned on in a long time. If I watch dramas, I’ll do it on my iPad. C: Are you talking about me? LYN: Meaning you’re doing exactly what we’re saying? You just turn on your phone and lie in bed, not wanting to get up or move? Turn on our stream and let it play as bgm? FYL: They probably just turned on their phone and have noticed that we’re streaming. C: I’m doing homework. LYN: Doing your homework while listening to our voices. Look up once in a while to give us a gander. FYL: Would they write the answers wrong? You turn your homework in tomorrow and your teacher tells you that you got everything wrong. LYN: They wrote down the lyrics to these songs, instead.

1:05:40 FYL: Do you like love songs more, or ? LYN: Everything is good. The most important thing for me is that it sounds good. There’s no exact genre that I like. I listen to rap as well. FYL: Do you have a song where you rap? LYN: Yeah. FYL: I want to hear it! 🙂 LYN: Let’s not.

1:06:15 FYL: I didn’t get to watch your stage performance with Xiao Zeng (ZXS). Did it go well, the rap? LYN: The rap went well. /starts reciting/ It was memorized by force. Xiao Fang knows this because one day the three of us- ZSX, FYL, LYN- were eating at my house. We all wrapped up early, so were having a meal at my house. ZSX was feeling a lot of pressure, and asked me if I had memorized the lyrics for the opening song. I told him I didn’t, because there would be a prompter. He said, “Ohh, is that right?” But then I thought about it and considered that actually, I SHOULD memorize it. He reminded me. So the two of us were just memorizing the lyrics. FYL: You started doing it while eating! LYN: /recites more lyrics/ FYL: Wow, I bet you were even doing it in your dreams. LYN: Yeah- we were still going through it up until the moment we had to stand on stage. I was afraid I would say them wrong. FYL: I bet when you were dreaming of it, at the sound of your alarm in the morning you’d shock yourself awake and into reciting out loud. 

1:08:00 FYL: I don’t know why, when I was younger I used to remember all the lyrics. But now I can’t. LYN: … Because we’ve heard too many songs by now? FYL: When you listen to a song, do you go out of your way to memorize the lyrics? LYN: Not particularly. If it’s my own song and I have to sing it at some event, I’ll take some time in advance to remember the lyrics. LYN: Nowadays when I sing I pretty much rely on the prompter. But you at least have to know around 70%+ of the song. FYL: Right. You can’t keep looking at it. LYN: Yes. 70% or more. You can look at the prompter every once in a while when you’re singing. If you can’t remember the lyrics you can scan the prompter ahead of time. 1:09:00 LYN: I didn’t see clearly, but I think someone said that they had a fight with their husband because you want to watch us stream? Did you really? It’s not worth it!! Stop watching. Don’t let watching two puxin-men influence your house and home. It’s not worth it. Go make it up to your husband. Stop watching. Turn it off.

1:10:00 FYL: I have to take the chance to wear my sunglasses before it gets dark. I haven’t worn them very much since I bought them. LYN: Is that so? I wear the ones you bought me sometimes when I go out for work. FYL: It’s so flashy. LYN: LOL, yeah. Because the logo is printed all over. FYL: Only “the most confident man in all the world” would dare to wear them. LYN: FYL gifted me a pair of sunglasses from a big brand- all of the design elements on the glases are actually the brand’s logo. Just in case you can’t tell where the glasses are from. FYL: But I get the feeling you can actually pull off wearing them. LYN: Why? Because I am “puxin” enough? XD FYL: You have that aura about you. LYN: No, I can’t live up to them. FYL: I just think you have more of a personality, but more introverted. LYN: Thank you. FYL: You need something bright! LYN: People rely on clothes- I have to rely on my wardrobe to find my aura. Normally I’m too basic, so I need something to help me. FYL: No, you’re not bad that to that extent. 

1:11:19 - FYL takes his hand off the wheel in excitement LYN: Please put your hands back on the wheel. FYL: Yes, right. 

1:11:30 ----- Wang Yizhe time C: Lao Qian is here. LYN: Is he? Let me see if I can connect. LYN: Apparently there are more than 2k people waiting to connect. It’s not worth it! I won’t connect with you. I sent an invite to Lao Qian. Whether he accepts or not is up to him. If it’s convenient, he’ll accept. If it’s not then he won’t. 

- /lag/

WYZ: /wearing sunglasses/ LYN: To fit in. The squad needs to have the same gear. You’re even wearing black. WYZ: No, these are my pajamas. LYN: Where are you, Beijing? WYZ: Yes, in Beijing. LYN: Right… If you were here, we’d be playing together. WYZ: What are you to up to? LYN: We’re doing a simple stream today- my “birthday” stream and it so happened that he (FYL) was off so we decided to hang out together. WYZ: Are you going to shop or…? LYN: I don’t know where he’s taking me- FYL: We’re going to where young people go to have fun. WYZ: ??? “Where young people go to have fun”?? Are you close to Hengdian? LYN: We’re in Hangzhou today. FYL: I already took everyone to our first attraction. LYN: We found some seats by West Lake and made two cups of lotus root powder. After we finished we ran. FYL: I was originally planning to ride the boat, but I don’t know why there was a really long line today. LYN: Yes- we were planning to ride on the boat. FYL: Isn’t it romantic? WYZ: If the two of you went on a boat ride wouldn’t the bridge collapse (because of all the people on it)? LYN: Let me tell you- here’s the embarrassing thing. No one recognized us. WYZ: Well, yes- that IS embarrassing. LYN: Going out wasn’t embarrassing, but since you mentioned being recognized, now it IS embarrassing. No one recognized us. FYL: I was planning to get the speaker and playing 奉上 right then and there! WYZ: Then, Lao Ning. You probably didn’t stand up. If you did you would have ben exposed in an instant. LYN: No- we were wandering around the whole time. We walked back and forth and no one recognized us. WYZ: Are people in Hangzhou all as tall as you are??? LYN: That’s why I was saying, that the two of us are puxin men. Normal/Basic (putong) and Confident (zixin). That’s why no one recognized us. WYZ: You wanted to go out a little obviously, wearing sunglasses so that people knew you were celebrities, but it ended up that no one paid attention to you. LYN: No, it was fine. Also, because I had told people in the stream not to come find us. They probably didn’t want to in the first place, but I just thought I should mention it. They were respectful of us and didn’t come. WYZ: So it’s just the two of you? LYN: Yeah, just the two of us. No sponsor or anything. WYZ: Then I guess you’ve been exposed by now. Your itinerary is going to get a lot more crowded. LYN: Don’t say that! There are two outcomes: 1. People think they need to help us save face and quickly grab a car to come make noise so that we look more popular, or 2. No one shows up at all. 

1:15:30 WYZ: How long are you planning to be out for? LYN: I don’t know. There’s not exactly a time limit. FYL: We’ll see as we go. LYN: We’ll stay out for the day and then return to Hengdian at night and continue filming tomorrow. WYZ: The main thing is because you both don’t have work today, is that right? LYN: Yeah- the crew gave us a day. He (FYL) just entered a new one. - “Dian Gong”?? [t/n: IDK what they’re referring to here] FYL: I entered the crew in December and they haven’t gotten around to my scenes yet. I’ve only shot for one day thus far. But it’s nice that I have this time. The timing was just right.  WYZ: Have the two of you eaten? LYN: I told you, we had lotus root starch. WYZ: Is that even filling?? LYN: Oh my goodness- it was so thick, like eating a bowl of thickened cornstarch. FYL: For people like us who have grown up on dew alone, a bowl of lotus root starch is enough to carry us through the whole day. WYZ: The two of you eat little on a normal basis, anyway.

1:16:45 LYN: I thought since it was my birthday I would bother him a bit, since he’s always in Hangzhou. He’s from Zhejiang. WYZ: This is his territory.  LYN: Yeah- so I thought I would ask my good friend to take me out to eat well. In the end I came here and he dragged me to West Lake- not even getting there by car! we WALKED - to find seats so that he could prepare two cups of lotus root starch. FYL: We even brought our own water. LYN: We boiled the water at home and brought it ourselves. And then we still had half a bag of lotus root powder left, that we wrapped up and are taking back home. WYZ: FYL- I think if you dressed up as YSS and took pictures by West Lake, I think it would look really nice. LYN: That’s true. WYZ: The white clothes really suit the scenery. LYN: If he went in costume, people would probably recognize him, then. WYZ: They might think it’s some rando cosplaying as YSS. LYN: Don’t keep bringing up the topic of people recognizing us. It’s embarrassing (bc no one did). It’s a complicated feeling.

1:17:50 C: It’s my first time seeing Lao Qian say so much. WYZ: I was at home cleaning up and got a notification that the two of you were streaming. I came in then realized that you can see me. I was just planning to watch in silence and be a viewer. LYN: Yes, I can see when you come in. WYZ: Mainly I saw that the two of you were bare faced and wearing sunglasses, so I thought I could also wear a pair and connect. LYN: We don’t have anything planned - we’re just going to shop around. WYZ: Yeah! It’s not your birthday yet, right? Why would you have a b-day stream… LYN: I don’t have time on the day of my birthday. WYZ: I see. LYN: I don’t have time, so I decided to do something today. It so happened that I asked FYL yesterday if he had time, and he did. Since that was the case I thought we could stream together. We could hang out around Hangzhou. WYZ: Sounds great. It’s rare to have some time off, so it’s great to get around. It gets boring staying in Hengdian all the time. LYN: It’s been too long since I’ve been out and about. WYZ: It’s been a long, long time since I last saw you. LYN: Yes, yes. It’s okay- let’s meet in Beijing in a couple of days. I might have an event there, and we can go out to eat. WYZ: Alright.

1:19:20 WYZ: Oh- you’re still wearing the mic? LYN: No- when I connected with you, I unplugged it. Because I wouldn’t be able to hear you talking with it on. We’re professionals, come on! WYZ: Oh my~ You’re SO professional! LYN: I’m not a pro at acting, but for livestream I’m the PRO. WYZ: You’re amazing. LYN: Sing and acting is not professional, but for streaming I am.

- /8 more minutes until they reach their destination/

WYZ: How long have you been streaming for? LYN: 1h, 20m! WYZ: Wow, so long?? You’ve been streaming the whole way? LYN: Yeah, we just haven’t stopped. This stream is not like those business-oriented other streams. This is just for- WYZ: Chatting. LYN: - for “company.” FYL: For “relaxation.” For “water, but no content”. LYN: It LOOKS like stream, but really it’s a surveillance camera. It’s a surveillance camera, aimed at the two of us. It’s like whatever we do, we’re being monitored. Just for fun. WYZ: You’re not streaming in your house today, so there are no special sound effects. LYN: Right. No canned laughter. I have to laugh myself. WYZ: Yeah! But this way it’s awkward and freezes the room over. LYN: We have music though, in the car. FYL: We’re playing some bgm. WYZ: This is FYL’s car, right? LYN: Yeah. FYL: No, I rented it. WYZ: Ah~ You rented a nice car especially for Lao Ning. FYL: Yes, since he came I have to show up. WYZ: Okay, then.

1:21:00 C: Call Yuan Lu over. LYN: No- it’s not like I was originally planning on a two-person stream. If I had thought I was going to do this earlier, I would have called everyone over. WYZ: Right! I just stumbled in by accident. It’s not like this was planned. LYN: Yeah- I wasn’t planning on this, but I only just now thought that I COULD have done it this way. I was just thinking- if I was in my house, I would just stream like normal but stick up some “Happy Birthday” balloons in the background. I would paste up some flowers. Then after a while my staff would come in pushing a cart with a cake on it to give me a surprise. I would be so touched! Then, I would blow out the candles on stream. After that, my staff would bring some paper prompts with like new year’s wishes or something like that. I’m sure there would be something like, giving the fans some benefit like “posting ten selfies” or something. I know that if I were in my room it would go like that. But I thought about it and… It seems like a process many are familiar with. WY: Yeah, you get the process. I think when we were in the crew, they were all this format. LYN: Right. But I didn’t think that was very interesting so I decided to do something different/unexpected and come out with Xiao Fang. It might not be very exciting, but I think this way is more relaxing and free-flowing. WYZ: I think this is nice. It’s more what you would do normally/in your daily life. If you go the same route as people usually do, it would be boring. WYZ: Then will you be streaming later, on your birthday? Or, no? LYN: I don’t think I will, because I have filming to do. WYZ: Okay. LYN: Since I had the time today, I decided to stream. WYZ: It’s good, since the two of you are in Hengdian. Why not meet, since you’re both there? LYN: Right. FYL: I calculated it, and you should be coming here soon, too. WYZ: Well, you take care of Lao Ning first. FYL: No problem. WYZ: And then later-

FYL: Do you want to catch a plane over to eat instant noodles? WYZ: ?? Instant noodles? FYL: Yeah- I reserved some instant noodles to eat tonight. WYZ: You’d better at least add and egg and let him eat Longevity Noodles. FYL: I will. LYN: He can come over, but the caveat is that you have to reimburse his airfare. XD FYL: Forget about it, then! WYZ: I have ground transportation,... LYN: Of course! You need to book a car service to send and receive him, then after hte meal make sure he has enough to-go before sending him back. WYZ: I’m going to need hair/makeup and wardrobe on the way, too! LYN: You don’t need any of that- all black is quite nice. FYL: Why don’t I call you some takeout? WYZ: Then the three of us will be walking down the street and no one will recognize any of us. X’D LYN: I’m sure.

1:24:18 WYZ: I’m sure that FYL has more of a reputation in Hangzhou than either of us. FYL: Huh? I don’t! LYN: Why? Oh- Because he’s from here? FYL: I’m not from Hangzhou- I’m from Jiaxing. I’m not in Hangzhou all the time; I spend more time in Jiaxing. WYZ: Okay, well- if you’re eating instant noodles then I won’t go. If you eat at some fancy restaurant, remember to call me. LYN: I WISH he would take me to a fancy restaurant. FYL: You aren’t eating that today. It’s not in the cards. LYN: There’s no budget, since you’ve rented this car already. FYL: I only have 200RMB in my pocket. LYN/WYZ: You brought cash? FYL: I was planning on taking him to the shops to buy clothes.// But then I thought of something better. WYZ: Oh, don’t expose where you’re going. LYN: If we mentioned it, we’re definitely not going there anymore. WYZ: Reverse operations. LYN: He was thinking of going to the Sijiqing Garment Market- because it’s more fashionable, right? Even though I’ve never been there!- He told me it was very fashionable. But we were thinking- because many clothes sellers often livestream, too- so if we also went we’d be in direct competition. I was afraid to get hit. FYL: Sijiqing CAN BE fashionable. WYZ: Can you even find Lao Ning’s size there? FYL: Yeah, of course. I was originally planning on the two of us preparing 200RMB, and we’d go around haggling. WYZ: So do you usually get your clothes at Sijiqing? LYN: Someone is asking what Sijiqing is! Let me explain- it really is a fashionable place. It’s a garment market. Somewhere people who sell clothes will go to get their goods for their shop. It’s similar to Wuai Market in Shenyang and Dongwuyuan Wholesale in Beijing. WYZ: There’s also Jintaiyang in Dongbei, right? LYN: Yes, and… Baima in Guangzhou? Or something like that. FYL: I was looking up information online and I read that we should each bring a black plastic bag. WYZ: Yes! And you need a little rolling cart, too. LYN: I’m sure if we weren’t streaming, we could go there too. We could selet some clothing and then sell it online to my fans. XD We buy it for 20RMB, and sell it for 25. Make 5RMB off one article, so if we sell 100 articles we would make 500RMB. That’s not bad. WYZ: It would make streaming worth it. LYN: Right?! WYZ: You could get a decent meal out of it. FYL: Then we’re eating big! LYN: We can eat hotpot. FYL: We wouldn’t have to eat instant noodles. :’)

1:28:04 WYZ: Have you arrived? LYN: Yup, we’re here. Thank you for keeping us company. WYZ: Alright, no problem. LYN: Let’s meet up, either in Hengdian or Beijing. WYZ: Ok! Bye~ LYN: Bye bye~ WYZ: Have fun! Bye bye. LYN: Happy New Year! WYZ: Happy New Year~

----------

1:28:22 - LYN’s 天问 playing as bgm in the car LYN: Did you used to love my music this much? Or did you know I was coming, so you purposely made this playlist?? FYL: No, it’s a really nice sounding song! FYL: I spent my birthday in the crew, right? Do you know what song they played for me? LYN: What song? FYL: 奉上. LYN: Oh, really? FYL: Yeah!1:28:50 - they’ve arrived at the next destination - Aquarium Date!

[t/n: I won’t translate directly much of this next segment]

1:31:00 - FYL: Should we take our sunglasses off? Otherwise we won’t be able to see anything.

FYL: Jellyfish! LYN: Are these real? FYL: Yeah! LYN: I thought it was a special effect!

1:32:00 - trying to feed the fish & the way lyn translates english is... interesting, but you can’t say he’s wrong. X'D “Feed Point” becomes “FOOD Po (po - 泼/sprinkle) - In (li - 里/in (preposition) - T (tou - 投/to cast/send)” FYL: They (the fish) must eat a lot every day. LYN: But there are a lot of fish…

1:34:30 - they found a snake and referenced the drama lol

FYL: There’s no snake in this one. Asian Vine Snake. It’s too thin, we can’t see it. LYN: Is the snake alright?! /laughs/ The snake is fine, and you’re fine too. LYN: The snake’s okay. It’s inside, sleeping. It’s very alive. Just sleeping.

- [t/n: these fish tanks are just… open-topped. What???] - commenting on the blue color of fish LYN: They won’t jump out? THAT would be impressive. FYL: If they come out, they can’t go back. If that happens then they… meet their H-E. (happy ending, referencing the supposed “H-E” of YNGS)

1:37:00 - Giant Pangasius & Gourami - marvels at the size of… whatever fish that is. FYL: Let’s see if it’ll come up (for fish feed). LYN: I don’t think it cares about that stuff. That’s like peanuts for it. FYL: This white one looks like it wants to eat it… FYL: Look from the top!

FYL: This fish's lips are pretty sexy. LYN: Sexy? Why don't you stick your head in there and kiss it, then?? FYL: It’s not eating… /fish eats/ Oh! It is!

1:38:40 - reptiles, some sort of mimic fish, plants 1:40:00 - arapaima (LYN: This is scary! How long is that!? At least 2m???)

1:41:00 - silver arowana & oscar fish FYL: You said they were ugly and they got angry! LYN: No, but they don’t look as pretty as the ones people raise. - give them some fish food C: I’m hungry now. LYN: Are you hungry because of the fish food, or because of the fish?!? If it’s the fish food, then that’s a little strange. C: Are you at a restaurant? LYN: LOL! FYL: Wasn’t it on the news, that a mother took the fish her son was raising and cooked and ate it? LYN: I haven’t seen that news. LYN: But- what are you talking about?!? This is an aquarium, not a restaurant. Do you think we’re picking out our seafood for dinner?

1:42:45 - these fish are poisonous? (Kaluga Sturgeon & Alligator Gar (eggs are poisonous)) 1:43:40 - /points at the fish/ LYN: What are you looking at?!

1:44:00 - LYN: There’s a “Mermaid Theatre” up ahead. Do we want to check it out? XD - found scorpions & spiders. LYN: I won’t show you any of these cold-blooded animals. You were already afraid enough with just the fish. - Comments egging them on to see the Mermaid Theatre :p

1:44:55 - Starfish FYL: A shark. LYN: Shark, where?

FYL: There! FYL: It looks like… LYN: It looks like a mudfish. FYL: It doesn’t have the feel of a shark. LYN: This is a Spotted Bamboo Shark (狗鲨). This nickname is too weak sounding!! - bullying the fish

1:45:39 LYN: The other day I saw an article on the origin of humans, and it was discussing from where we originated- and there was a comment that read, “Correct. Actually, humans came from the sea. We used to be good friends with goldfish.”

1:46:25 - Sea Turtles (they like to eat and like to play, please don’t stick your hands in the tank) FYL: They’re not afraid of humans, look they’re following us. LYN: They’ve probably been alive for longer than we have! - feeding the turtles and making a joke about hotpot FYL: Who thought to feed sea turtles cabbage? They’ve probably never even seen this, in the sea. LYN: Just like me, someone from Dongbei who’s learned to eat Sichuanese food.

1:50:00 - discussing whether they’re going to check out the mermaids or not 1:50:17 - found some sort of dragon throne

1:51:20 -  FYL goes to  "teach the restroom a lesson"; LYN shows us some sharks. LYN: Did you just wear the mic into the bathroom?? FYL: Yeah, I just that of that! It’s okay, I guess. - lost the sound when it was LYN’s turn.We hear some... sounds of him washing his hands, prob.

- little boy came to bring them some water; he proceeds to follow them around the aquarium 1:57:00 - garden eel 1:57:40 - shark! - manta ray in the water tunnel (bad reception here)

- saw the mermaid, but couldn't show it bc they were wearing... a little. but it’s okay bc the stream lagged and we couldn’t see anything anyway. 2:01:30 - kid’s show - now on their way to finding the exit; they gotta run bc people found them :| 2:05:30 - the kid followed them out, too XD

----------

2:06:42 - on to the next destination!

2:07:18 C: Why do you have double eyelids? LYN: ! Sis, I’ve always had them, you just couldn’t tell because my eyes are small. Like this (straight angle)- I have monolids. But if you look at me from the bottom-up it’s double. 

2:08:05 LYN: Please open (turn on) the music. FYL: LOL, Ok! LYN: Play the music. - LYN: ! Did you fasten your seatbelt?! FYL: Yeah.

2:09:00 LYN: Let me show you the QR code, and you can pay the parking fee for me. XD /to FYL/ How much is it? FYL: 10RMB. LYN: 10? Ok- you (the viewers) can pay that for us. /joking/ - can’t find the exit >.<

2:11:07 FYL: If I don’t wear my sunglasses now, would it be… LYN: … too late to wear them. Wear them a while. You just bought them, right? FYL: No, I;ve had them for a while. LYN: Just never had the chance to wear them? FYL: No I’m just.. Not in the mood? Sometimes I feel like I sort of count as an artist, right? Other people in the airport come out wearing sunglasses and they look very cool. But when I wear them myself I feel like I’m pretending. I can’t stand myself. LYN: I feel that way too. When I used to go to the airport before, I wouldn’t even wear a hat. My hair would be messy, and I didn’t wear sunglasses. At most I would have a face mask. But then I discovered a problem- all of that will become your dark history. XD FYL: That makes sense! XD LYN: Sometimes you get up and you’re not in the greatest condition- your eyes are swollen and your hair is messy and they take pictures of it all. When you look back it all turns into capital materiall to bring you down. That’s why now I try to make myself look more presentable. FYL: That’s true. … I keep losing my sunglasses, though.

2:12:27 - discovers it’s looping the same song C: Where is he taking you? LYN: To eat instant noodles. It’s almost dinner time. FYL: Should I just play any song? LYN: Whatever is fine.

2:13:17 FYL: Do you feel like the year passes by too quickly? LYN: Yeah, it’s too fast. FYL: I feel like… the two of us should find a chance to really go out there and travel. It’s just that I don’t feel like we get many opportunities to create any deep memories. You know? I can’t think of anything I’ve done that has left an impression. I remember my dramas! LYN: I know- we only remember that we’ve been filming for dramas. LYN: For me, I don’t dare to go out to play. I feel like I have to make better use of my time. LYN: But my mentality has gotten better. After YNGS aired, I feel a lot better about it. Sometimes I feel like, “Yeah. I should take a break. It’s time.” Otherwise I can’t see the meaning in life anymore. People have to take a rest sometimes. FYL: Go to West Lake and have a bowl of lotus root starch. LYN: Yeah. C: You’ve matured. LYN: I don’t think that’s it. It (the reception) is just different from what I imagined. That’s why I think it’s time to take a break. I’ll finish up the next four dramas I have lined up and then take a break, XD Or was that too basic and overconfident?? LYN: Sometimes I joke in my stream. They’re all inside-jokes. Please don’t take it seriously. Thank you.

2:15:16 LYN: It’s good that we didn’t do anything too out of the ordinary, today. Otherwise we’d get another round of criticism. FYL: Most of the time I speak without thinking first. But now... I’ve become afraid. LYN: Yeah, the nature of the entertainment industry… it’s like everything we say can be blown out of proportion to the point that everyone is afraid to say anything. It’s better to stay quiet. - talking about wearing pink thermals, I didn’t really catch the prompt why.

2:16:25 FYL: Do you have good eyesight? LYN: Pretty good! One is 5.0 and the other is 5.1. Don’t just see my small eyes, my eyesight is great. FYL: That means you didn’t watch a lot of tv when you were young. LYN: I have my family to thank for that. They didn’t let me watch tv. FYL: Mine either! When I was little I REALLY wanted to watch tv. But when my dad went out he would take the remote and put it somewhere, with a hair on it, to see if it moved. When he came back home he would test the temperature of the screen. LYN: It’s like what spies in dramas do. Put a leaf in the door crack. If someone breaks in the leaf would fall to the floor and you would know someone went into your house. That’s too cool. FYL: I could watch every Saturday, for two hours. LYN: What’s funny is that your family would tell you that watching tv would hurt your eyes, but they’d make you read instead. Somehow reading books doesn’t give you bad eyesight?? FYL: But you should still read often. LYN: There are many ways to gain knowledge nowadays, though. You can gain knowledge by looking at your phone, too. FYL: My sight’s pretty good too. About the same as yours… because I didn’t read that many books when I was young. XD LYN: It’s okay, It all comes around. You didn’t read many books when you were young and that’s why you have to read so many drama scripts now. When you were little you never remembered the prompts, but now you have to remember your lines.

2:18:44 FYL: It’s a state of mind! After you stop filming for a while, you become stupid. But when you start filming, then you start thinking quickly. LYN: Right- it’s the same as singing, we said earlier. You have to maintain it. If you keep remembering lines day after day, your memory will get better, too. - stream lags LYN: Sometimes when we’re filming, if the crew thinks we could use the same setting to crank out a few scenes, they’ll shuffle the schedule. But it’s not as if you remembered the lines for the additional scene ahead of time, so you just have to memorize them on the spot. It doesn’t matter that they gave it to you last minute, you have to remember it. You just have to develop that ability. LYN: It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. - LYN was about to say something, but decides against it. FYL says that’s something he has to learn from LYN- the sense of awareness.

2:21:30 - tunnel up ahead, possible bad connection - discussing vertical vs horizontal screen position. LYN chose vertical because this way it feels more like we’re on a video call. - troubleshooting for live viewers (if the video and audio aren’t synced, close the window and re-open it)2:22:54 FYL: I loved Hangzhou when I was a kid. Every time, after the rain, it would smell fragrant with flowers. LYN: There weren’t lakes and rivers in Jiaxing? FYL: There were! LYN: But it smelled different? FYL: Yeah. LYN: Dandong is by the Yalu River, so it just smelled like seafood. - considering the geography of the Yalu River estuary - asking what Dandong is known for, and if LYN knows how to make it (he doesn’t) FYL: That’s such a stereotype. It’s just like when people ask me where I’m from, and when I tell them Jiaxing they say I must be good at wrapping zongzi. Like, who told you that?? LYN: is Jiaxing known for zongzi? FYL: Yeah. So I guess all we do at home is wrap zongzi. -__-;

2:25:05 - switched networks; there’s nothing viewers can do but endure it, bc there’s nothing he can do to help it. Says if he tries an outdoors stream again the next time he’ll bring portable wifi device with him.

2:26:15 - still trying to fix the other mic

2:27:20 FYL: If you keep wearing your sunglasses won’t you not be able to see soon? LYN: It’s not important. I’ll wear it while I still can, because I can’t once we get indoors. FYL: You can still wear it indoors, if you’d like. C: It’s lagging because there are too many people watching. LYN: Aiyoo~ You make it seem like we are very welcome and people are falling over themselves trying to watch us. It’s not worth it, and there’s not much exciting content here anyway. There hasn’t been much today- only pretending we lost FYL’s phone, and then suddenly warming up the voice to scare you to death. LYN: ! We’ve been streaming for 2.5 hours! FYL: Already? How come I don’t feel like it? LYN: When I’m streaming at home I’ll go for about 3-4 hours. But I feel like time has passed by so quickly today. FYL: Me too! FYL: It’s been so relaxing, as well. 

2:29:00 C: Is your hand sore (from holding the phone all day)? LYN: Of course it is. - Thanks weibo for promoting the stream and also makes sure that FYL’s channel is also livestreaming.

2:30:05 - they’re both trending in the hot search C: Xiao Fang is on it. LYN: He is, but I’m not? XD FYL: Don’t~! LYN: ! You focus on driving. C: There are three topics. FYL: Am I trending because I lost my phone? They all went to look for it? LYN: They’re saying that you have a solo one, and then there’s one with us together. Thanks for all your support. - continues to entertain the thought that FYL is trending bc people are at Xihu trying to find his phone. LYN: So are we heading back to the hotel to eat? FYL: No~ LYN: This is where we passed by before, right? FYL: Yeah. My location is set to this parking. /indicates the gps/ In this parking lot. We’ll park there are eat instant noodles. LOL. LYN: The day went like this: we went to Xihu to have a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re going back to find some parking near Xihu to have instant noodles in the parking lot. I’m guessing the hot water in his thermos is still hot. It should be enough to cook the noodles, right? FYL: It should be no problem. LYN: Oh, I know. Since there’s cold brewed tea, there must also be cold cooked noodles. FYL: Maybe we just let it soak for longer. Eat it and soak it at the same time. LYN: This is called slow-cooking at a low temperature. FYL: Cold and crispy noodles. LYN: Amazing. FYL: We’ll test out the texture for everyone.

2:32:25 C: What did FYL give you as a b-day present? LYN: I’m not complimenting him just because he’s right here, but it’s not as if I compliment him behind his back either- /LOL/- but he’s a really nice person. If we haven’t met for some time, he will always bring me a small gift. Sometimes Lego, sunglasses, or clothes. Today he gifted me with clothing. I haven’t worn it yet. FYL: ! That reminds me of the candle-tray I borrowed from you. When we’re back in Hengdian, I’ll bring it to you. LYN: Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it later. - talking about different ways to say “sensible/having high EQ” FYL: But actually it’s mutual! A few days ago he even sent me Dandong strawberries. C: FYL learned he was streaming and then put on his sunglasses. LYN: /cackling/ FYL: No! I just wanted to wear them while there’s still some sun out! LYN: Right! I know we didn’t do anything fashionable today, but we have to look fashionable while doing it. All-black outfit and sunglasses- I feel like we should be going clubbing. - lag again

2:35:15 - almost at their destination - commenting on the traffic

2:35:37 LYN: We brought a selfie stick, but it’s in the suitcase. Later we’ll take it out and use it as a stand. FYL: But the color is too puxin. LYN: XD It’s also pink colored. 

2:36:20 - trying to navigate around but got kinda lost (a little chaotic)

2:38:27 C: Go spend money at Jinsha Pavillion LYN: LOL FYL: If you give them YSSs name, you get a 5% discount. C: Can YOU drive? FYL: He’s an old driver. LYN: But it’s been a long time. FYL: You don’t really have a chance to drive. LYN: Right. When I go out it’s always to the hair/makeup. You want me to wake up early to drive myself there, then drive myself back at night?? I’d rather use the time to rest while I can (while someone else drives).

2:40:17 C: The back windows are open. LYN: It’s because the security guard earlier scared us! FYL tried to open the front window but pressed the back by accident. FYL: ? Then that means the video is pretty clear. They can even see the windows are open?

2:40:20 - they have arrived at their parking area, and will walk to the final destination? C: It’s dark out now. LYN: Right? We started streaming from when the sun was out and now night’s fallen. - trying to find a parking spot

2:44:56 - in the underground parking FYL: No- I can’t wear these sunglasses anymore. I can’t see a thing!! - /took them off/ FYL: I’m not handsome anymore, but at least I can see. - backing into the space, amazing. LYN: FYL’s steering wheel is about to start smoking. /imitates the aggressive turning of the wheel/

----------

2:46:40 - getting ready to get off the car, masking up, and grabbing supplies (power bank, phone stand) LYN: Where are we going? Are you taking me there? FYL: Yeah! 2:47:50 LYN: Would we get hit for wearing sunglasses when it’s night out? FYL: Huh? LYN: /repeats his question/ FYL: No, they will only think that we are very fashionable. LYN: /laughs/ Alright, then. LYN: In Dongbei, when we want to describe someone as really silly we’ll call them “cao hu”. FYL: If I went to Dongbei, someone could be cursing me out and I would probably say “Thank you.” LYN: Wow, what type of place is this?

- their destination was in the lot they were in earlier, but they weren’t allowed to park there so they have to walk :\ FYL: Oh no, my sunglasses. LYN: It’s too dark. I’m almost at my limit, too. It’s dark but in order to keep my look I can’t see the road very well. C: Take them off. LYN: No, we’ll keep at it for a while longer. No matter how dark it gets!

2:49:42 LYN: Wow, it’s cold at night. Good thing I wore this hat. FYL: I never understood what these things (poms poms) were for. LYN: For fashion. FYL: Is that so?? LYN: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your mouth. FYL: When it’s cold you can stuff them in your ears. 

2:50:38 LYN: We do look quite strange like this, though. FYL: We don’t! LYN: It’s dark and we’re wearing all black, wearing masks and sunglasses. C: Why are you bringing a suitcase? LYN: The power bank and phone stand are in there. The thermos, too. We have to use it to make our noodles later. LYN: We’re here on the street pretending to be celebrities. FYL: I think it’s not that bad in Hangzhou, though. The other day I went to cut my hair, and the building- the whole building- was full of cosplayers. I think this city has a lot of people who like to wear something out of ordinary. We just have to not consider ourselves as all that. LYN: Right. You think that people are looking at you, but in reality no one cares.

2:50:50 - walking

2:53:50 FYL: When did you eat lunch? Did you eat? Don’t tell me you didn’t eat anything before you came out?? LYN: When I came over from Hengdian I had a bread. FYL: How big of a bread? LYN: That small croissant from S*bucks. LYN: That’s all I ate. I woke up, had a coffee and bread, had a bowl of lotus root starch, and now we’re heading to eat a bowl of noodles. So filling. FYL: For your noodles, no matter what I’m going to find a way to fish up some of that grass from the lake. XD LYN: Weren’t you the one who said we’d be arrested if we took anything from the lake?? 

2:55:00 - searching

2:55:40 LYN: It’s here? Such a nice place!?? You don’t want me to foot the bill today, do you? XD LYN: /to the stream/ If he wants me to pay I’m out of here.

2:56:15 FYL: !! I still have two boxes of fish food in my pocket! We can add them to the noodles. LYN: Get some hot water and we can eat the fish food. That’s what they’re saying, that humans originated from fish, right?

-----

[t/n: I don’t think I’ll trns much of the chaos/idle chatter of dinner]

2:57:30 C: Wow, I fell on the floor! LYN: I dropped my phone- FYL: That was a ploy. LYN: Right, we have no content, so we’re forcing it.

- took off the portable mics since they are inside now

2:58:05 - FYL is helping to get everything set up C: Assistant Xiao Fang~ LYN: No! He’s very professional about it. He learned we would be streaming yesterday and went  to buy a selfie stick. C: The sound is suddenly loud. LYN: It’s because, when we were outside, if you could hear too clearly then we might catch other people’s private conversation. That’s impolite. (so they were using the external mics)

2:58:58 - shows off the bright pink selfie stick, which matches the carrier. The sleeve for the stick also matches LYN’s hat (with the pom poms). - plugging in the power bank bc after a day of streaming the phone he’s using has low battery. - suspects that either his power bank doesn’t have power, or the cord he’s using is faulty. It’s the latter, but he has other cords.

3:00:53 LYN: What is this? What are you doing?? You really brought your own tea leaves?!? FYL: I brought my own tea. LYN: Why are we even eating here, if you’re going to even bring your own tea?? FYL: I wasn’t kidding you! It’s because I was thinking whether I should give you lotus root powder or tea on the boat. I was wondering which one looked more “fashion”, and then- LYN: I’ve met people who bring their own beer to a restaurant, but never someone who brings their own tea!

3:02:00 FYL: Step-in Streamer Xiao Fang is at work~ C: You won’t take your sunglasses off? FYL: I’ll wear them for a little longer. FYL: It’s only been recently that I’ve started drinking tea. I used to really like drinking coffee- iced coffee, but in the last two years I feel like I’ve started liking to drink hot things. - cleaning up some spilled water C: You’ve worked hard. FYL: I haven’t~ What have I done? C: It’s healthier. FYL: It is.

C: West Lake Fish in Vinegar Gravy. (Song Sao Fish) FYL: I don’t know if people who aren’t from here could handle eating it. Because, if I’m remembering correctly, the authentic Sour Fish dish doesn’t have salt in it. It’s just sugar and vinegar. Have you had it before? C: Longjing Shrimp. FYL: I think I’m starting to get why people call Hangzhoou a food hub, because the dishes here are more on the light and mild side. But maybe other places in China are known for their strong flavors, heavy on the spices and salt. Hangzhou dishes are cooked to maintain the original flavor of the ingredients. C: Take of your sunglasses. FYL: If he hasn’t taken them off, I won’t! Has he already? Oh, he did. XD Alright, I’ll take them off. You can’t even let me wear them for a little longer? C: Is there a surprise? FYL: Yes~ The surprise already happened when you weren’t there to see it. LYN: You mean losing your phone? FYL: That counts as one of the surprises, yes.

3:05:00 LYN: I was originally thinking- if I streamed at home, I could put a row of rice and soybean oil in the background and then raffle them off to you. But since we made it into an outdoors stream, I don’t think we can raffle anything. Next year, then. FYL: The shipping fee for the rice alone would be ridiculous. It’s so heavy! One bag is what? 5kg? LYN: The shipping fee would be fine. We can just have the recipient pay. It doesn’t make a difference to me. FYL: But would it be embarrassing if it couldn’t be sent? If someone returns the item to sender? LYN: The simplest thing would be to autograph each jug. I’m sure they would reluctantly accept the parcel, in that case. 

3:06:04 LYN: Did you bring your speaker? FYL: Yes, I was just planning to play some songs. But… I think this speaker is a knockoff. LYN: What do you mean? FYL: Yesterday I went to buy takeout and then I saw this brand, so I bought it. But the sound quality isn’t great, and I bought it for the price of the real thing. LYN: How do we know the quality of the sound just isn’t like that to begin with? FYL: You’ll know when you hear it. - puts his fluffy hat back on LYN: I should still wear this hat, because I bought it especially for this stream. I don’t want it to go to waste. FYL: Is in included on the expenses for the day? LYN: It’s included.     

3:06:55 LYN: Are we doing 50/50 split today? FYL: Uh… Sure. - moving the camera FYL: I was thinking on moving it to that side of you? At an angle. FYL: I actually bought two bags of potato chips and bag of shrimp chips, but last night when I was watching a movie I ate them. - LYN, drinking tea and spitting out the tea leaves. ; FYL trying to get his speaker set up FYL: What do you think? Isn’t my tea better than theirs? LYN: I haven’t had theirs. Why don’t I order a cup, and we can compare? FYL: Don’t~ That will hurt someone’s feelings. (either his or the restaurant’s, lol) LYN: Yours is good, too. What is it- “jing ju mei”? It’s a red tea. FYL: You should drink red tea in the winter. FYL: Don’t you think the leaves:water ratio is great? LYN: Yeah, I keep having to pull stuff out of my mouth.

3:08:11 - promoting his and FYL’s weibo accounts. subscribe if you haven’t already. LYN: Thanks for keeping us company today. FYL: If it’s your first time seeing us, we’re two eat-streamers. - checking out the speaker LYN: It looks fine? FYL: Let me play you something, then you’ll know. What should I play? LYN: Anything’s fine. The playlist from the car. - /starts playing music and FYL looks to LYN for assessment/ LYN: How much did you buy this for? FYL: 800+ LYN: It’s fake. FYL: I know. :( LYN: The weight isn’t heavy enough. FYL: Right? I thought it was too light, too.3:09:40 - the dishes are starting to come out. It’s course by course. FYL: We suddenly went from eating instant noodles to this. LYN: I thought we were really going to eat noodles!

3:10:50 LYN: Let’s… eat, then. Sorry, friends- we’re going to eat now. If you have something you can eat with us. LYN: Thank you… thank you to Xiao Fang for treating me to such a grand meal. FYL: ?? I thought we were splitting it? LYN: Oh, then we should eat separately, too. FYL: Is that how it works? XD LYN: If it were split, then you would eat more of the dishes on the table. Whoever eats the most makes the most out of it. 

- eating the dish and describing it as “it’s okay.” RIP. LYN: We were just at the aquarium and now we’re eating (chocolate) shells. - FYL listing out all the ways he discovered the speaker he bought was fake - LYN laughing at FYL for taking a drink from his tea and having to spit out a bunch of leaves - all crabs taste the same to LYN - flipped the camera because it was mirrored and people were confused why LYN was left-handed - it’s also FYL’s first time at this restaurant with their “creative” dishes (usually he just buys takeout) - talking about soup dumplings (the salty kind, not sweet) from Nanjing

FYL: What are you supposed to do in this situation? When someone has sent you a knockoff but insist that their product is real? :(

3:16:20 C: 40 million people are watching two puxin men eat dinner. LYN: One of the reasons why I rarely to eat-streams is because I think it’s impolite to be streaming while I’m eating. When I’m doing other streams, I would not eat while everyone else was. I just feel like eating isn’t right. 

3:17:12 LYN: Wow, you reserved such a nice place, thank you. FYL: It’s nothing. LYN: Thank you. FYL: Stop! If you keep saying that, I’ll be the one footing the bill! Now I’m under pressure. LYN: We’re “internet famous” aren’t we? We’re not lacking that money. FYL: Oh, is that how it is?

3:17:43 C: Ning-ge is really pale. LYN: No- the beauty filter is on. C: Introduce the dish to us. LYN: It’s just… a very delicious soup. FYL: Mushroom and seafood flavor. /desscribes it more/ FYL: /to LYN/ What do you think? I have a talent for cooking, don’t you think? :D - LYN: I feel like everything we’ve done up to this point isn’t important. Right here, this is the most important. Sitting here, eating this meal. It’s like bitter first, then sweet. Eating lotus root starch next to the lake, then having a sweet date (the fruit) for dinner. FYL: Otherwise you wouldn’t have remembered that you had such an exquisite meal tonight! If I had brought you to a restaurant to begin with, wouldn’t it seem too expected? In comparison to the lotus root starch, now don’t you feel- LYN: Wow! This meal is too amazing!! FYL: “FYL took me out to Hangzhou and then treated me to such a nice meal!” 

3:19:10 FYL: Do you have that tendency, to leave the things you like to eat the most until the end? LYN: Of course. FYL: Then have you experienced leaving it for the end, only to have it be taken by someone else before? LYN: I don’t think so. I would never eat out with people like that again. - LYN: I finally feel like I’ve entered an actual city, today. Because I’ve been in Hengdian for close to four years now, so I’ve eaten all there is to eat there already. There aren’t very many shops there, either. FYL: But one thing about it is that you can obviously see that it is much different than it was four years ago. There are a lot of new shops. LYN: Because all the other shops keep closing down. XD It’s a vicious cycle. FYL: I think the food stalls in Hengdian are pretty tasty. LYN: When we were shooting YNGS and we’d get off work at 3-4, I would go eat at the night market. - trying to figure out which night market, LYN doesn’t know the location exactly bc he doesn’t drive [t/n: Same, bro. I know things by landmarks, not streets.]

3:22:07 - FYL grabs Lotso from the carrier LYN: ?? What are you doing? FYL: It’s your birthday present. LYN: Really?? FYL: No, no. I’m joking. /takes it off camera/ LYN: It’s okay, (you can show it) since it’s Disney.

3:22:48 C: How long have you known each other? FYL: Maybe… 15 years? (shí-wǔ) LYN: Not that long. I think you need to fix your pronunciation- 4-5 years is more like it. (sì-wǔ) LYN: We came to know each other filming The Long Ballad. FYL: The first time I met you I still had no idea what you looked like. The first time I saw you, you were wearing a face mask. You were giving everyone hand sanitizer and personal protective equipment. I kept looking at you, trying to figure out what you looked like but you never took the mask off.  LYN: I was too ugly. FYL: No~ Don’t say that. LYN: We first met when shooting The Long Ballad and even after filming had ended we didn’t become close. Because we had never gotten together to eat; there were no crew gatherings during that time. The timing was pretty rushed too, so as soon as we wrapped for the day everyone would turn in to get some rest. FYL: I think I was filming another drama at the same time… so… LYN: So we didn’t meet much in private either. 

3:25:10 FYL: You eat so little, now? LYN: I’m alright. It’s just that I’ve walked a bit much today. XD I’m tired. I’ll rest a little before eating. There’s no rush. LYN: But we’ve kept in contact and then with YNGS we happened to be able to work together again. So we were able to hang out, and it turns out that we get along well.  FYL: After YNGS, we started to hang out more in private. LYN: The most important thing is that we’re able to see each other. With most artist friends it’s hard to even see them half the time. Unless we’re all shooting guzhuang dramas, then of course we could meet each other in Hengdian. FYL: I used to try to make friends after a drama with the intention of keeping in contact, but it’s hard. LYN: Yes, it’s hard. Once you’re in a crew it will be at least four months until you’re out. Once THEY enter a crew it’s at least another four months for them. FYL: Where could we meet up? If in Beijing, it’s always with the possibility that you could be holding up some of their work or vice versa. For the friends you really get along with, it could be one or two years in between meetings. But I think that Hengdian is the place that we could see each other the most often. LYN: Right, because there’s a larger gathering of actors here.

3:27:08 FYL: Do you normally like eating spicy things? Or milder things? LYN: Milder, I guess. FYL: Can you handle spice, though? Like the really spicy kind? - stream lags :p 

C: Since you’re both sitting there, why don’t you take the time to explain what you meant by “H-E.” FYL: They’re really not going to let this go.

LYN: I didn’t really want to talk about YNGS very much, because we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. Sometimes we just try to answer questions in a joking manner. C: What were you afraid of? LYN: At the time it was- if we had told you right off the bat that everyone dies- FYL: No one would watch the drama! LYN: No one survives, we all die! Do you think people would even want to watch the drama, then? So we could only take one for the team. If you had asked us how the drama turns out, and we told you everyone died, wouldn’t you just give up right then and there? We’d have leaked the ending and destroyed the drama. LYN: But on the other hand, how ISN’T it a happy ending? Whether you’re in the “river” (pronounced “he”) that’s still an “H-E”, and in another world- a parallel universe- that’s also a happy ending. So we didn’t say anything wrong. 

3:29:20 FYL: You should make Ning-ge eat more. He’s too thin. On camera his face is pretty thin, but in real life h’es really too thin. LYN: It’s not important. - some mention of working out together FYL: Is anyone eating right now, while watching us eat? LYN: It counts as eating together. Here, let us give you a toast. LYN/FYL: Happy New Year. FYL: Does watching us make your food go down faster? LYN: Probably not, because we’re not eating it in a way that makes them want it too. - /starts imitating how eat-streamers eat things (loudly and deliciously)/ FYL: Oh, ASMR.

3:30:55 - viewers salty bc of the New Year’s stage (the part where the dancers leaned their heads on Ning-ge’s shoulders) LYN: “It’s just for work.” It’s not like I could ever princess-carry him on tv. C: So you can do it in private? LYN: No~ We’re good friends. Don’t say that or else we’ll have to start avoiding each other to dispel rumors.

3:33:00 - saying (again) how this stream counts as his b-day stream bc he’ll be busy w/ work on the 8th

3:33:30 FYL: In the new drama, is ZLS still a princess? LYN: No. -  her character is one that fishes for pearls? FYL: Then are there scenes by the ocean? LYN: Yeah. FYL: Where did you go to shoot those? LYN: In a water tent. FYL: It’d be nice if you went to Zhoushan. LYN: We might go to a different location, to get the desert (?). FYL: /naming potential locations/ FYL: I feel like in the recent years a lot of guzhuang dramas have gone to the northwest to shoot. - for the scenery, since there’s not much new to see around Hengdian.

3:35:15 FYL: Oh! I asked you earlier, but didn’t get the answer. Was the clothes you wore for new year’s one you borrowed from the drama? LYN: Yeah, I borrowed it. I found Fang (Sizhe)-laoshi’s group to borrow it. FYL: And they still have it? LYN: Yeah- one set is with Fang-laoshi, and the other is in Linmon’s warehouse. FYL: There are only two sets, right? LYN: Yep. FYL: I’m sure my clothes are torn beyond recognition. LYN: I’m sure they have it, though. One that’s new and one you wore for fight scenes.  C: Other people can’t wear it? LYN: No- they usually don’t reuse the same clothes we wear for the drama. They keep it and maybe in a few years Fang-laoshi- FYL: !! LYN: No, not you. The wardrobe designer- Fang-laoshi. Maybe he’ll want to have an exhibit and show all the clothes he’s designed for dramas. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what I’m thinking. FYL: It’s possible. FYL: Also the more basic articles, I feel like they’ll wait until the drama has aired and then take those clothes and repurpose them for other clothing.  FYL: But the quality/texture of the drama costumes is really much thicker than the hanfu that people can usually buy to wear. LYN: The material used to make them is probably a lot better than that used to make the clothes we’d normally buy online. Because first of all, they’re tailored, so all the materials are high quality fabrics. You’d rarely find a shop on Taobao that does the same. But I did see one- a set of tailored high-quality clothing going for 3k. Even that’s on the finer side but I’m sure that their fabrics are not as good as what was used in the drama. FYL: I’ve bought some myself before, and from the texture of the fabric- they tend to be thinner or gauze/lace-like. - discussing price and quality of clothing- including all the embroidery, beadwork, metalwork, etc. all the work and attention to detail in these pieces is in scale with the price.

3:39:05 - concert, when? wait for him to release his album first. FYL: You probably won’t have the time this year, right? I think you’re blocked up until at least July or August, right? LYN: I don’t know. I’ll have to see. I keep thinking about taking a break, like I said in the car. Even just one week would be great. FYL: Does that count as taking a break? One week??

3:40:15 LYN: Is it your first time doing a stream like this? FYL: You mean with two people? LYN: Yeah. FYL: It’s my first time. LYN: Then do you go out by yourself? FYL: I went out for my birthday. LYN: You did that? FYL: I had just gotten to Hengdian, so I was streaming myself going around. I started on the street and walked to the restaurant I wanted to eat at, but there was a long line so I went somewhere else. I just wanted to change it up from a regular birthday stream like I’ve had in the past.

3:41:17 - “give shisan more screentime” FYL: I’m here, I’m here! I’m just eating here (out of frame) and then I come back. FYL: It’s moving so fast, I can’t see what they’re saying. LYN: They just want us to eat more. Also they’re spamming “Blooming (Yi Nian Hua Kai)”, what’s that about? FYL: Yi Nian Guan Shan!! LYN: How did Blooming go? When did you film that? FYL: Before YNGS. … Was it? It was the one before the one before YNGS.  LYN: I think you were shooting a modern drama before YNGS. FYL: /confirms/

3:42:48 -LYN breaking his dish into smaller parts FYL: ? You eat such small bites? LYN: No, I’m getting full. But maybe if I look like I’m not eating that much of it I won’t have to pay the bill. LOL. LYN: I actually really like this dish, but pretend that I don’t like it so that he would not have the heart to make me pay for the meal. FYL: :O! LYN: Like, “Oh, you didn’t eat much so I’ll get the bill.” FYL: WOW! Such a dirty trick!! FYL: When we’re done eating we’re both going to sit here like this: /arms crossed, waiting for the other/ LYN: Pretend to look at our watch, take a phone call… XD FYL: It’s a little spicy. LYN: Yes, there’s some pepper in here. /picking at his food/ FYL: /looking at how little LYN is eating/ You’re eating so little I feel like this is making me look like a pig. LYN: No, no. I’m eating everything! I ate a lot. C: What were you doing before in the State of An? LYN: I had a jewelry shop. FYL: Really? LYN: /boldfaced lie/ Yeah. Or what did they say I was? FYL: Weren’t you.. a businessman? LYN: A paramour? FYL: Yeah. LYN: I wasn’t! - LYN: We acted it one way, and how you want to interpret it is whatever you want. There’s actually no fixed answer. LYN: You must not have watched the drama closely. Wasn’t there a scene where they asked me if I was a paramour, and I said, “Do you think I’m worthy, with this appearance?”  FYL: That’s called “retreating in order to advance.” (make concessions to gain advantages)LYN: Use some truth to cover lies. FYL: !! Wait a minute! I almost fell for it!!

3:46:33 - it’s a set course, so the same amount no matter how many people you have in your party. they’ll bring the leftovers back for their staff to eat. LYN: We were originally planning on having our two groups meet and have a meal altogether, but then we figured we would use the time we were eating to chat with you, since we probably wouldn’t get to while we were walking around. LYN: I don’t know if you like what we’ve done today… FYL: The original plan wasn’t like this! There were some unexpected changes of plan. LYN: But sometimes he’ll hang out in his room and chat with you, and normally I’m in my room chatting with you. So today is a special occurrence. This way two good friends- truly good friends- could hang out together and we can back each other up. It’s a more natural and slice-of-life stream. - thinking about doing some more fun streams in the future (FYL: Boxing?) LYN: One of the things we were thinking of was streaming ourselves in an escape room. But most of them- FYL: It’s too dark! LYN: Yes, first of all it’s too dark. You wouldn’t be able to see anything. Secondly, most escape rooms don’t let you record video.

3:49:24 - oopsie! (FYL: Maybe it was thinking you needed a new phone.) FYL: We has a lot of ideas, like go-karting. But it would be hard to hold the camera. LYN: I went karting with HZT once, but I watched the playback and- FYL: How did you film it? LYN: There was a third person- FYL: Outside the track! LYN: Yes. But I don’t think the viewers felt very included, that way. FYL: Yeah, they want to see the gopro aimed at your face- LYN: All of the chin jiggling. XD C: Horse riding. LYN: /nah fam/ LYN: Honestly, even when we’re shooting horse scenes in the dramas there are always setbacks. FYL: Right. It could be pretty dangerous. LYN: The danger is a given, since it’s all part of the job. But the horses in Hengdian aren’t… putting it bluntly, aren’t very good horses. They’re not any prized breed or like the horses you would see at a ranch. They work very hard- not like horses on a ranch that get fed well and washed and have mild personalities. Think about it- we film for hours on end and the horses are right there with us. They’re being pushed around, not getting to drink water- FYL: Hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and no one can help it cool down or put on any layers. LYN: So these horses work very hard and have developed pretty explosive personalities because of it. It’s a little dangerous. FYL: If you know how to ride a horse, you’ll know that the horse will mostly listen to your direction. But have you met a horse where, the director is counting down- three, two, one- and before you can do anything the horse is already moving on its own?  LYN: They understand the directives. LYN: So when I have to do a scene including a horse I always feel apprehensive. FYL: He prepares so many carrots! - every time LYN finishes shooting a scene on horseback (with all the different cuts and camera angles) he’s happy to be alive, lol. LYN: So I’m not really interested in your idea of going to a ranch to ride horses. :\

3:53:20 - other ideas: gym/workout stream. it was a thought but LYN says he would go 10 minutes then be unable to do anything else. XD but the competitive spirit would make them keep going. - FYL has a weight-set he has to put together FYL: If you don’t think it’s heay enough I can go buy more weights. LYN: No, you don’t have to. I think you have 25-50kg already, right? FYL: I think it’s 100kg on each side. LYN: I’m definitely not pushing 100kg, don’t worry. I don’t think I ever will in my life. FYL: You can by the time this drama wraps. LYN: I’d be happy if I could push 40.

3:54:57 C: Swimming stream. LYN: We didn’t even let you see the mermaid show, you think you’d get a chance to see us two Hai’er Brothers?? Don’t say you want to see a swimming stream, and just tell me directly that you want to see the Hai’er Brothers. The next streaming topic will be: Hai’er Brothers. The two of us will be bare-hested and wearing speedos, sitting by the beach? It’s really not worth it. - C: Beach Stream LYN: That could be doable. LYN: But I just can’t stand… having nothing to do. I’m talking about in the stream. Let’s say we set the phone by the sea, and then what? What do the viewers do? Just look at the water? If we do stream I just want to do something that could create good content. The aquarium today was good, because they could at least see something other than our faces. - - more ideas: LYN cooking stream, where he starts from buying the ingredients, prepping and cooking, then calling his friends over to eat it. FYL: Can I add something? How about YOU don’t buy any ingredients. You just use what your friends bring to you. They might bring you something out of the ordinary. LYN: The only problem is that most of my friends probably wouldn’t have time. I’m telling you, today’s stream was and act of heavens and stars aligning. How often is it that we both have some time off at the same time? FYL: I’m okay, but you on the other hand… 

3:57:26 - comments spamming “abs!”, LYN calling them spoiled XD 3:58:35 - idea: LEGO stream (it’d just be a camera and the sound of blocks being put together) 3:59:00 - idea: waterclor painting stream (LYN: I’d just be wasting the paints. XD) 4:00:00 - idea: camping stream

LYN: Today was pretty fulfilling and I was happy to be able to come out and wander around. Truly a day I could do nothing- I didn’t have to think about work at all. FYL: Chill. LYN: What else do you want to chat about? We’ll talk some more and then wrap it up. C: Log off when you hit 50 million viewers. LYN: That seems a little far off.

4:01:42 - chatting about spending their new year holiday with the drama crew C: Will you two collaborate again? LYN: We would have had one… but actually we always bump into each other. FYL: I think it will depend on the project… LYN: Right. There’s no need to forcefully work together. That’s something actors fear- being forced to work together, you know? The script will always take precedence, since friends can always be made. Yuo can hang out with friends all the time, but for work it’s better to choose something you like. 

4:02:50 C: Compare heights. FYL: Why would you- You want me to humiliate myself? Why should I? C: Daimi, Daimi! FYL: … ! Have you shown them how Daimi can peel the sausage herself?? LYN: They know. FYL: Wow. That’s too amazing. I’ve really never heard of a dog being able to do that.

4:03:43 C: Six Realms Hall Prequel?? LYN: I mentioned that because I was watching the drama along with all of you. At the end I felt… that we all died pretty miserably and it felt unfair. Qian Zhao, Sun Lang, Yuan Lu- it was a grievance. I didn’t want to let them go. So I wanted to ask them- why don’t we arrange our own project? We can shoot a Six Realms Hall Prequel. We could grab a DSLR and shoot it ourselves. If we don’t have enough funds, we could use our phones to record as well. We’d edit, cut, and put it all together before selling it to the platform and making some profit. X’D LYN: No, but seriously. I didn’t want to let it go, so I was thinking IF we had the chance to film a Prequel, how great would that be?? But as for how that idea is developing, I can’t say at this moment. C: You can do it. We’ll invest. LYN: Stop messing around, jiejie~ You make it seem like any project I mention in my stream, you’ll invest in. That’s terrifying. FYL: They want to be your boss. - FYL mentions wanting to see Xiao Chuan in this version LYN: A drama isn’t something that can be crowdfunded like this. It requires a lot in investment- at least 1B to START. I don’t think it’s worth it to crowdfund 1B… LYN: But we’re just saying nonsense- gossiping. Don’t take us seriously. 

4:06:35 - there’s abosultuely no way they’re streaming until midnight LYN: We’re pretty much at our limits, today. Our brains are starting to lag. - LYN leaves to use the restroom

FYL: Step-In Streamer Xiao Fang is here. C: I’ve been watching for four hours. You’ve worked hard. FYL: It wasn’t as hard for me as it was for you. - C: The tea is too light. FYL: It’s not… It’s not that I don’t want to let him drink it (give him more leaves), either. I really bought this yesterday , so I felt like if we didn’t drink it, it would go to waste. Since I don’t usually make tea for myself. Since I bought it we should at least try it, right? - C: There’s no birthday cake? FYL: I’ll get him a cake on his actual birthday. - - talking about needing to start maintaining his healthy becuase he’s getting older XD - C: Sing a song. FYL: Don’t let me make a fool of myself. - C: What drama are you currently shooting? FYL: Guess! You’ll know if you look it up online. - C: Ning-ge makes pies in the sky. FYL: What artist nowadays doesn’t?

4:09:04 - switching out FYL: We drank the whole pot of tea! LYN: That’s great, so you didn’t buy it for nothing. But that means that we’re full because we drank so much tea. 4:09:25 - planning on doing a variety show this year since he didn’t have one at all last year (soon to be filming, not a music related one) LYN: I want to do a variety show so that I can rest my brain. LYN: Music varieties are doable, but I don’t think I have enough experience. Because you have to prepare a lot- like arrangements, or think of the song and how you want to change it, get involved in the whole production of it, and I just think it would take up too much brain power. I’ll probably still be shooting the drama at the same time, so I might do a more physical/experiential-type variety show. Like going somewhere to play or sharing an experience. 4:11:00 FYL: Do you think variety shows or dramas makes you more tired? LYN: Dramas… variety shows. You’re a lot more steaday/stable with dramas, because all the time is spent in the drama and you don’t have to think of anything outside of it. On the other had variety hshows are more REALITY shows. The cameras are on ALL THE TIME and you have to remember that and keep your wits. In a variety show, your value is in what you can bring to the table- whether that’s being funny, being smart, or active. You’re constantly on the edge. 

4:11:47 - talking about LYN’s manager staff: NiuNiu (from Shanghai) and GeGe (from Hangzhou); and how he really only has a small team whose only worry is to keeping him alive and well (and working). LYN has no resources, despite what rumors say (that he’s the Devil King of the Entertainment Industry). LYN: I don’t want to reply to a lot of things, even about YNGS, because I don’t WANT to respond. I just think it’s laughable. As someone on the inside, the things that are said about me look strange. A lot of the time I don’t feel the need to respond because people inside the industry all already know what’s going on. I don’t need to make it a point to explain everything.

4:14:00  LYN: The most unusual rumor I’ve heard is that YNGS has yin-yang scripts. There’s no way- us for example, in the same drama- would have two different scripts. There’s no way that can happen, because we need to rehearse the scenes. If even one line or scene is different, we would know immediately. We all have the same script. There are no yin-yang versions. No way. We’re not idiots, either. If he’s holding his script and I just take a look at it- I would know if it were different from mine! It’s just strange. I don’t even know how such a rumor could get so blown out of proportion. For example, we’re sitting here eating this meal and you tell me there are two versions of the food.  ??? It’s all laid out in front of us- it’s all the same food.

- [t/n: that dessert looks tasty *Q*]

4:15:30 LYN: ! I have a song called “Fall in Love” right?? FYL: I saw that!! LYN: He saw it the other day and forwarded it to me. It goes “We want Fang Yilun, Fang Yilun at this moment~” (Let us Fall in Love, Fall in Love, at this moment) FYL: I opened weibo and there were all these notifications of people @-ing me, so I followed the link to see why and sure enough. I forwarded the video to him with the comment, “I know you like me, but you don’t have to say it out loud.”

- FYL recalling how he was shooting a VLOG once and then heard Ning-ge’s song (by recognizing his voice)- Magical Surprise  LYN: We were even planning on going to Disney today! FYL: It’s a little far though, right? LYN: It’s not that it’s far, but more that they don’t allow people to livestream (because of copyright issues). You COULD go, but you have to write out a whole itinerary first. Then the plans have to go through multiple levels of clearance, because safety is most important. You could go to play, you just can’t stream it. 

4:17:00 - will stop streaming when it hits 50M viewers. Subscribe to their weibos if you haven’t already. LYN: We’re both just small actors, who hope to bring roles that we like to life for you. We hope you like them and can continue to support us. FYL: If you want to hear us sing, we’re actually both singers as well. If you want to see us dance, then I’m sorry there’s nothing we can do. LYN: Isn’t your dancing pretty decent, though? FYL: No~ Remember I tried to get you to dance with me? LYN: We can try! LYN: When we were shooting YNGS, he had run this by me. That we could sing a song with some basic choreography together. We could have a good time with everybody. But then we never found a suitable song. 

4:18:20 LYN: I think the day’s been pretty fulfilling. We streamed for 4+ hours, had a good time and- thanks to our friends’ support- had some trending topics. It was a meaningful stream, and I also got treated to a meal at the end of it. FYL: !! You’re saying that so early. It’s still unclear who’s paying for all this or not. LYN: I have something to do later, so I’ll leave first. You can pack all this up. (joking) FYL: I don’t know if everyone enjoyed watching? Or maybe you were bored? But in any case the two of us had a relaxing time. But if you can still enjoy a stream like this, maybe next time we can arrange another one if time allows. LYN: Yeah- it doesn’t need to be because of a birthday. We could discover something fun and want to share with you. I know many of you are working or going to school and you can’t afford to travel and look around (so we’ll take you with us). It’s just like chatting with friends, only on a huge platform like weibo where we can’t be too relaxed and need to watch what we say, a little bit. If we’re too relaxed then people can easily find something to use against us, and then we’ll be cursed at again. Please, spare us.

4:20:10 FYL: You can’t see the number (of viewers) from here, can you? LYN: I can. FYL: Wow, then your eyesight is better than mine!! LYN: I can see them typing clearly, too. FYL: You must not have watched a lot of tv when you were little. LYN: Right, I didn’t watch any.

C: I like your string of beads. LYN: Don’t even think about it. If you like them, go buy your own. I won’t be giving these to you. FYL: When it hits 50M, I’ll make the decision for you and pick a random fan to win the beads. XD FYL: Kidding! I’m kidding!

4:21:00 - people telling him happy b-day in advance~ LYN: Thank you! FYL also came to help me celebrate. Today is the 6th, and the 8th is my birthday. But I won’t be streaming on the 8th; I think I’ll have a lot to shoot. So I’ll thank you in advance, as well. LYN: At times like this, shouldn’t the door open and a cake get rolled in? I can’t believe there’s no cake surprise! Normally, we would be chatting and then all of a sudden- (a cake comes)- and I should say, “Ohh! I’m so touched!” and then cry, then make a wish in front of all of you, then blow out the candles. “Thank you all for keeping me company!” That’s what I should be doing, but I guess not. FYL: We can go to the convenience store and buy a bread and stick a lighter in it. 

4:22:27 LYN: Today was quite nice. I know a lot of my friends are from Hangzhou- I’m sure I have fans here- and you didn’t all come find me, so I’m very thankful. Thank you. FYL: And then you find out they’re waiting to ambush you in Hengdian. LYN: No, no. They wouldn’t do that. They’re very good. FYL: “I couldn’t find you in Hangzhou, but in Hengdian I will never let you off the hook.”4:23:20 C: How about you sing a song? LYN: Come one, let’s sing. You sing something. FYL: What should I sing? LYN: Whatever you want to. Otherwise you bought the 800RMB knockoff speaker for nothing. You have to make the most of it. Sing something worth at least 800. FYL: What should we sing…? What do YOU want to sing? LYN: Something worth 800. I don’t know, anything’s fine. C: 走天涯 FYL: How does that song go? LYN: /sings/ No, not this one. Let’s change. You can choose. Whatever you want. LYN: He likes to sing. Sincerely someone who loves music. FYL: I really can’t think of anything. You pick one. LYN: You can’t think of ANYTHING? Then how about 奉上? FYL: Okay! 奉上, it is! LYN: We’ll use this song as today’s ending. - LYN: Singing in a restaurant, I’m so happy. It’s like we drank too much. FYL: We got drunk on tea. LYN: Self-brought tea will do that to you. - the first notes of the song start playing FYL: I feel like I can’t hold on anymore, I’m about to go (die)! LYN: Why? Oh- because once you hear this music you’re putting on the blindfold. FYL: It’s sending me off! - FYL: I need to sing it properly. LYN: No, it’s okay. We can’t let too loose. Otherwise the other room is gonna think there are lunatics in here. - ♫♪ FYL: The lyrics to this song are really hard!

LYN: We want to thank everyone for their support and their company. I’m happy to be able to spend four and a half hours with you. I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope your whole month goes splendidly. I’ll see you again in the next stream! Goodnight, everyone. Bye bye! FYL: Happy New Year, everyone! And Happy Birthday to Ning-ge! LYN: Thank you. LYN/FYL: Goodnight everyone! Bye bye!

[sideroachblog]

Hey y'all here's that AleRoach WIP I promised!!

~4k words. Dry humping at the end (mostly build up), Alejandro being OOC because this was a bit of a daddy issues fic, Size Difference, Unfinished.

There will be TWs under the cut. They're pretty heavy because this is an offshoot from my fic Outside Looking In, where Roach was rescued after being a POW and experienced *severe* trauma. This WIP doesn't go into detail, but it doesn't mince words and it investigates how Roach's experiences are fucking with his current relationships. Additionally, there are heavy spoilers in here for OLI and it reveals more of Roach's perspective of his relationships with the team, particularly Ghost and Soap.

@youredyingthatsallthereis bc I was asked to tag <3

~~

TWs:

1. References to SA Roach endured while captive

2. Roach still being underweight from torture

3. Referenced Cheating

4. Internalized homophobia

5. My awful attempts at Spanish and writing realistic dialogue for someone who speaks English as a second language. In other words: Alejandro sounds corny as fuck. This man on the damn cob.

~~

TRANSLATIONS

Flaquito = An endearing petname. Flaco means skinny and the suffix -ito makes it smaller/cuter/etc

¡Está bien! = It's alright!

Cuate = Buddy/friend/etc

Mierda = Shit

Cariño = Honey/sweetie

No puedo dejar de pensar en ti. = I can't stop thinking about you.

Tesoro = Treasure

--

“Awfully thin for a member of the 141. How do you run drills? I dunno why they brought you here; you don’t even have a call sign yet.”

Roach looked up from the table where his nose was buried in gun parts, one of the team's assault rifles completely disassembled for cleaning. Colonel Vargas filled the doorway.

Before he could stand to salute his superior waved a dismissive hand and said, “Don't bother. Keep the energy, heaven knows you need it. At ease, flaquito.”

The nickname was a surprise when Roach expected to be addressed by rank. No clue what it meant, though. Halfway up from his chair he hesitated, then plopped back down with straining thighs and a groan. He quipped, “Maybe I'm just too good to leave behind, Sir.”

It was impossible to relax again, on edge and unfamiliar with the man’s temper, bracing for an inevitable smoking. He sat stiffly, spine straight as a board.

The Colonel double checked the safety on his own rifle before resting it in the corner then meandered across what was one of the safe house's bedrooms, now stripped of furniture save for folding tables and gun cases. The space was designated for weapons storage and maintenance. A lone yellow bulb hung from the plain room’s ceiling and offered sufficient lighting—enough to complete duties, not enough to help locate dropped screws or runaway pens.

“You’re in danger,” Vargas said matter-of-factly.

Roach squirmed. “Aren’t we all?”

“You especially. The stairs up here winded you. You have thin bird wrists and negative muscle mass like a frail old lady. What if we’re raided?”

He frowned and said, “I either prove my gun skills or perish, I guess.”

“That isn’t a price I’d expect your Captain to chance paying. Sacrificing fresh meat who needs more time to train, especially when you could put others in danger, too. I’m well-acquainted with John and well-experienced weighing risk versus reward.” The man pulled up a chair and settled in on Roach’s right. “Point is, I’d never send someone so underweight on an operation like this one, even if they stay cooped up in here. Not a newbie. Not in a million years. For Price to make that call, he knows more than he’s letting on.”

“What are you getting at, Sir?”

“You don’t have the eyes of a new recruit.”

He monitored the Colonel in his peripheral for any threatening behavior and swallowed hard. “Just joined the Special Air Service, Sir. If you think he’s hiding something, I think he’s the bloke to ask.”

Alejandro Vargas sat there like a brick wall: an athletic, imposing man of great importance to the Mexican Special Forces, more so than Captain Price was to the taskforce. Only now, with broken ribs where a bullet slammed his plate carrier, was he confined to the safe house in brief recovery. Roach felt like chump change in comparison to his weight lifting build, about six inches shorter and only half the kilos, stuck doing upkeep rather than assisting in the field. Even at his peak, before everything, before Makarov’s Ultranationalist animals held him captive, Roach wasn’t nearly as strong. He reminded himself that he was still healing, still gaining muscle, still making progress on top of how far he’d already come.

…So far, he’d only managed to gain about ten kilos. Ten more and he’d reach a ‘normal weight,’ again, still so unbearably skinny, still far from the size and strength his job required.

Their power imbalance seeded discomfort in his abdomen. Their differences in strength only amplified what stemmed from the subservience a sergeant owed a colonel. It was too similar to Russian prison, Roach beaten and abused by guards double his size who commanded him around like a mule. He tensed without meaning to, leaning away when Vargas’ thick forearms rested on the table, muscles rolling beneath their skin as the man fiddled with a hand guard from the disassembled gun.

The sight left him conflicted. Vargas struck fear in his heart, but struck it in other ways, too. He was attractive, certainly Roach’s ‘type,’ especially considering his confident, benevolent demeanor and how he cared personally for each of his men (at least from an outsider’s perspective). Tough love, but love nonetheless. However, the timing of Roach’s trauma was tragic—happening before he had the opportunity to explore his true sexuality. His thoughts were a muddled mess.

“I just cleaned that, Sir,” he stated. “You’re smearing finger grease all over it again.”

Vargas grabbed a damp cloth and wiped his hands down before using it to tidy the mess. “We’re not on an op. I’m not even your colonel. No need for the formalities right now, Smith.”

Smith. Garrett Smith. The new name was still foreign to his ear, so accustomed to ‘Gary Sanderson’ that he nearly corrected people on occasion. He went to say ‘yes, Sir,’ then truncated the title, hissing, “Yess-s—”

The slight lisp from Roach’s missing teeth made it all the more embarrassing. His cheeks turned pink.

“I’m dead serious about those eyes. Have you seen yourself? Permanent dark circles, thousand yard stare. Even now, you look passed me rather than at me.”

“Mm. I hadn’t noticed,” he lied, sounding as unbelieving as possible. “Interesting observation.”

Vargas angled his wide body to watch the Sergeant work. “Yes, very.”

Roach shrunk into his shoulders when the Colonel leaned forward, into the small uniform shirt that hung baggy enough to have him dress-coded anyway. He prayed the man didn’t notice.

No such luck.

“Not everyone in the world is out to get you. I don’t know who taught you we are. Price wouldn’t put you in harm’s way.”

He shuddered at the memory of Shepherd and replied, “I’m well aware there’s people on my side, Sir.”

“I’m one of them. No need to act like a scared dog.”

What if Price was wrong again? What if Alejandro were schmoozing him, attempting to—Roach gritted his teeth, trying to allow his respect for the Colonel to overpower his panic. “I know.”

“Then relax; I won’t bite.”

His legs screamed to bolt before something terrible happened, old pain from Ultranationalist hands resurfacing. Cuts, punches, yanked hair. Having his head shoved underwater until the bubbles nearly stopped.

When he was first captured, their medics begrudgingly treated his burn wounds with as little care as possible (and he had no idea why they didn’t leave him to die). They ripped off the dressings as if peeling stubborn wallpaper, debrided his skin without anesthesia, re-mummified his writhing form as agony lingered. The worst came later, towards the end of his imprisonment. It happened once. Fingernails digging into his thighs, forcing his legs open. Wrists bound so tightly with fraying rope they sustained nerve damage. Bodily intrusions he longed to forget. Thankfully, his attacker was not gifted in certain areas; however, the bastard compensated with violent thrusts that tore through Roach anyway, mentally and physically, leaving a cloud of disgust surrounding his body even months later. Worse still, the fact that Roach had dreamed of those same activities, gentler, involving trusted individuals. These fantasies were tainted, of course. Everything about him felt rotten after his assault was said and done.

He knew that wasn’t true. The thoughts surfaced regardless.

With a deep sigh, he did his best to loosen up.

“Good,” Vargas praised when Roach visibly shoved down the tension. He plucked a rifle scope off the table and worked the cleaning cloth up and down its length in long strokes, wrist twisting as he did.

Roach watched momentarily, then gazed up and found the man already looking back. He said, “You don’t need to help, if you’re busy. I’m sure you’ve more important duties to tend.”

“More important…? It’s break time. I’m striking up conversation. You intrigue me.” A gleam in Vargas’ eye betrayed the true extent of his interest: Roach was a mystery to solve. A broken man still piecing himself together in the line of action, ‘freshly recruited,’ although it was clear the Colonel knew better.

Roach offered a weak smile. “There’s not much to know.”

“Ah. I see. Hate small talk?”

“Always have, S-sir.”

Vargas replaced the scope and began polishing the other hand guard. “There’s beauty in the little things, you know. Much to be learned from interactions you wouldn’t think twice over. Puzzles made from smaller pieces are more intricate by design.”

“They take longer to assemble. Not much time to spare in our line of work, is there?”

“I’ll spare my time for you.”

As sure as he was the Colonel meant nothing of it, Roach’s face flushed anyway. Even though the thought of Vargas picking out the truth made him queasy, his eyes opened wide, dry lips parting delicately.

“Oh,” he chuckled nervously, “thanks.”

The corner of Vargas’ mouth raised in amusement. However slight, the expression managed to reach his eyes with sincerity.

“Of course. We kinda… left you here toiling alone. I wasn’t expecting to be stuck here as well. I can only assume you feel swept under the rug, maybe a little useless,” he said, wiggling one hand like a balance. “I know I do. But you’ve been lightening the load on our shoulders when we return from missions, though. So don’t feel bad. We appreciate having maintained weapons and an organized living quarters after. Your work at the base is invaluable.”

The words struck a cord in Roach’s heart, feeling more understood than he had in ages. With the 141, he was merely doing his best. His accomplishments were stepping stones in recovery. He wasn’t capable of anything more until healthy, and even afterwards his achievements would be overshadowed by the unspoken thought that he managed them despite everything.

Roach became inseparable from his suffering.

He nodded. “No problem.”

The Colonel clapped a massive hand on his bony shoulder. “Don’t be so shy. I appreciate your hard work, lugging around heavy gear and checking ammo supplies. It hasn’t gone unnoticed, and I’ll be sure to mention it to Price.”

Again, he nodded, unsure of whether to give thanks once more.

“You’re doing great, Garrett. You deserve recognition.”

Tears pricked at the corners of Roach’s eyes. He blinked them back but ultimately failed, and two tiny droplets escaped down his cheeks in white-hot rivulets.

Vargas was taken aback. His brain caught up to speed as he exclaimed, “¡Ay, está bien, cuate! Don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

Roach let him rub circles into his upper back, resting his eyelids as the movement swayed his body. Vargas cupped Roach’s jaw in a warm, calloused palm, encouraging him to turn without force, fingers long enough to hit his sideburns. It felt great to be appreciated, even better to be touched without being handled like glass. In their efforts to help him feel safe, the 141 did the exact opposite of his captors. Instead of treating him like rubbish—like a fleshlight—he became a priceless heirloom that would shatter under a funny look. Intentions aside, he still felt like an object.

Alejandro touched him like a person.

“What’s wrong?” He repeated.

“You—you’re so nice,” the Sergeant whimpered, laying a hand over Vargas’ own on his face. “I dunno what to make of it.”

“Are your teammates not nice to you?”

“They are! They are. Just… Not like that. They don’t say things like that. I f-feel like a dead weight.”

“You’re not. And I mean it.”

Roach cried harder. Vargas stood and opened for a hug, which he lunged into wholeheartedly, draping himself onto the man’s chest as those strong, angelic arms wrapped around him. Breaths heaved Vargas’ sturdy pectorals and Roach along with them. It felt secure. His thoughts calmed to a trickle for once.

Suddenly, a warm kiss pressed into his temple, short circuiting his brain. He sighed as safety eased through him. Roach had never been kissed for himself. Hannah kissed him selflessly, mistakenly. She loved him; she wanted to kiss him for their sake, not knowing he'd never feel it as intended but unconsciously aware something was wrong as she floundered to fix things. It was through no fault of her own, having a coward of a husband who feigned heterosexuality to avoid family drama, and she eventually stopped trying. It hurt, seeing her sneak around with Mike. Gary ignored it, figuring she deserved someone able to cherish her entirely.

Gary did love her though, and Roach believed he always would no matter his identity. There was a reason he chose her to marry. Playing the part was easy with her kind heart and dark, witty jokes. She’d been his best friend, high school sweetheart, and first kiss—supposedly his last and only, if not for Simon coming along.

Simon.

Simon kissed him greedily when he needed reassurance.

‘Are you still here with me?’ He asked wordlessly when they were alone, boxing Roach against the wall in one final measure of security. He was aware of Hannah, his kisses selfish, self-aware, and sorry. ‘I need to mean something to you. I don’t care what, lieutenant or lover, just care for me.

Be there for me.’

Gary wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He orbited Simon because of their difference in rank, never falling in love because they were battle buddies and he was a married man. However, he couldn’t let his Lieutenant in as a brother-in-arms—not when he dreamt of holding him each night. Of fucking him stupid in the supply closets. No, Gary acted selfishly, too, devouring the only male attention ever thrown his way and giving Simon false hope, accepting kiss after undeserved kiss. Simon was kind while Gary was awful, returning the gentle reassurance of his lips despite never fully opening up, caught in Cupid’s purgatory where he lied to his commanding officer and wife simultaneously. Garrett could be better, if Simon would have him. If he could bear putting his damaged self on display for someone who loved him when he was whole.

A thumb wiped the moisture from Roach’s cheek.

This was different. Vargas put comfort in the gesture. It was Roach’s turn to be reassured, promised he was welcome in their embrace. Vargas didn’t need anything, didn’t want anything more than to learn who Garrett was now, and it was similar to Soap’s appeal—except Vargas was less skittish and unsure of what he himself had to offer, unbiased by the team’s grief-stricken reminiscing or the knowledge of Roach’s assault. Most importantly, despite all this mushy emotional crap, Vargas’ touch remained impersonal. Impermanent. Roach could safely make mistakes because he'd either die recapturing Los Vaqueros’ headquarters or return to the UK after the operation concluded.

“Colonel,” Roach whispered, pulling back to scan his face.

“Please. No one’s here. Call me Alejandro.”

“I couldn’t—”

“Really, do it. You’re not one of my men. We could be friends at the end of all this. You need more of those.”

“I’ll be too far.”

“I’ll make time to call.”

He hesitated. His arms snaked away from Vargas’ neck until his hands fell to the man’s chest, stabilizing himself on the broad ribcage waiting there, further examining the man’s expression for hints of annoyance. He found none.

Roach’s eyebrows furrowed and more happy tears begged to flow freely as he asked, “Do you mean it?”

“Absolutely, I do,” Alejandro replied. His grip slid to Roach’s hips to accommodate how the Sergeant repositioned. “Christ, Garrett, you’re even skinnier than you look. I can’t believe Price would… Never mind.”

He was right. He engulfed Roach. Only now, rather than make Roach feel lesser, freakish, and scared, it had him weak in the knees. Roach shivered and flicked his eyes to Alejandro’s lips, starving to feel them tenderly elsewhere, ashamed to desire such attention from the first man to give him understanding and selfless touch.

A Russian accent floated through his mind, dark with arousal and aggression. Maybe he was ‘just a worthless whore.’

“Please,” Roach asked, knowing exactly what he wanted yet not how to phrase it.

“Please, what?” It was an honest question, not a flirty tease.

Roach wanted more than friendship at the moment. A relationship wasn’t the goal; physical intimacy was. To get fucked out of his mind by someone harmless.

One of his hands drifted to the back of Alejandro’s neck who, thankfully, took the hint and leaned forward until their foreheads clunked.

“Please. I’m Roach. When we’re alone, I mean.”

He tilted his head and asked, “Roach? Why that?” sounding pleasantly confused yet excited at the prospect of an answer.

“It’s my old call sign. Don’t tell anyone. Not a soul.”

An answer and a secret, and a clue about Garrett’s past. Alejandro’s face lit up like he’d won a hundred quid. “Okay,” he grinned. Then, the serious tone in Roach’s voice transferred to his. “Okay. Sure. Anything you need.”

“Anything?”

“Anything I’m able to do, I will. I’m a man of my word.”

Alejandro was a stranger he’d known less than a month, but his kindness and sincerity were unending thus far.

Roach chewed his lip and said, “Kiss me again. Kiss me more. You did it right.”

He pulled back, gazing at Roach while one of his hands returned to the Sergeant’s jaw. His smile grew until his cheeks squished his eyes into crescents. “Mierda… How could I say no?”

Turning Roach’s head to the side, Alejandro’s lips reconnected with his temple, then stippled across his cheekbone and down the crooked bridge of his nose. Request granted, the Sergeant closed his eyes in contentment and hummed, reaching up into Alejandro’s hair. Heat rushed to his face and coiled in his belly as the Colonel traced kisses along one of his smile lines, planting a final one at the corner of his mouth before pausing.

“Am I still doing this right, cariño?”

His knees were quaking and his hands gripped Alejandro’s shirt for dear life. Even if he let go, he knew he’d be safe. “Yes,” he said, voice wavering.

“Want me to keep going?”

“God, yes. I’ve never had someone do this before.”

Alejandro frowned. “Not ever?”

“No. I’ve only ever been…” he struggled to think of an appropriate term, “…touched by people who wanted it from me. I’ve never had someone do it because I needed the attention.”

“You have mine now. You caught it the second we met.”

“…Why?” Roach asked.

“None of the files about you line up with who I’m holding in my fucking arms. I’ve met a different man than the recruit I approved on paper—I need to have a chat with Price about that. No puedo dejar de pensar en ti.”

“What does that mean?”

Alejandro grinned and whispered, “You’re peculiar. Mysterious.”

“There’s no mystery,” he insisted.

“Whatever you say, Roach. Even if I don’t figure you out, I'll enjoy learning what I can.”

“You’re too much. Shut up and keep kissing.”

He caught Roach’s chin and guided the Sergeant’s lips into his own, making no attempts to part them or shove his tongue in between, maintaining comfortable pressure that broke briefly between smooches. His exhales blew hot. His stubble tickled when he trailed up Roach’s jaw and planted one below his ear.

Roach shivered and moaned behind his puckered mouth, savoring the way Alejandro curled over his body in response, now looking up so their lips remained connected while the man cradled his head and the small of his back. When Alejandro relented Roach groaned in protest, attempting to pull him back by the collar.

He chuckled. “I was going to ask if you’re still enjoying this. I think I got my answer, th—”

Roach cut him off with an open-mouthed kiss, hoisting himself up on tip-toes instead since Alejandro was immovable and took too long closing the gap of his own accord. It elicited a surprised gasp that Roach swallowed whole, using it as an opportunity to press his tongue against the Colonel’s teeth. Fingers tangled in his hair, offering comfortable encouragement rather than balling into a fist and yanking.

Then, Alejandro moaned.

And the sound rolled as deep and powerful as an ocean current,

And it flowed up the arc of Roach’s spine slow and sweet like molasses,

And Roach couldn’t take it anymore.

“My legs are tired,” he complained, limbs shaking, “and my ass hurts from the chair.”

“My lap is pretty comfortable.”

Just what he wanted to hear. He grinned, winded, huffing desperately through closed teeth, “I dunno if can I just take your word for it.”

“Aw, don’t trust me?”

“What can I say? I’m a skeptic,” Roach laughed nervously. Having little experience, flirting wasn’t his forte. “Can we move to that couch in the sleeping quarters so I can find out for myself?”

Alejandro blessed him with a look of surprise that bloomed into a beaming smile. “Lead the way.”

Roach took his wrist (and was allowed) to drag him. They burst through the door, Alejandro flopping onto the aforementioned futon with creaking springs. Roach straddled him immediately and the Colonel’s hands returned to his hips, untucking the baggy shirt from his loose pants, slipping under its hem. It felt electric. It had him shaking like a dog.

“You alright?”

“Just nerves,” he assured.

“Relax. I’ve got you.”

Unbuttoning his own fly, Roach cursed at the pre-cum already forming a wet patch on his boxers.

“Already excited, cariño?”

“Sorry. Y-you’re very attractive.”

Their half-hard cocks throbbed together.

“You’re one to talk,” Alejandro said and lifted Roach’s shirt, mouth gaping at the exposed fuzzy skin beneath.

The shame of having a body surged in Roach’s mind. “I used to have more definition. I was hotter before…”

Those hot, rough hands roamed further under Roach’s uniform, ghosting over his ribs. Alejandro said, “I want you however you are.”

“I’m doing much better than in September.”

“Good,” He replied and leaned in for another slow kiss.

Roach moaned into it as fingers tweaked his nipples. No matter the pleasure, he put his own hands over Alejandro’s and pulled them off. The man detached at the first hint of resistance.

“Hm? Don’t like your chest played with?”

“No, I do! I just… was curious if you’d stop when I wanted.”

Alejandro’s eyes widened. He was intelligent; he read between the lines before Roach finished writing them.

The Sergeant continued. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

Pulling him in tight, Alejandro buried himself in Roach’s neck and whispered, “Tesoro. If you want me to stop, tell me! It would kill me to know I hurt you.”

“I will,” he smiled, leading the man's focus back to his nipples, who immediately resumed toying with them. “You know, for a bloody colonel, you sure do love to follow my directions.”

“A good one knows when to stop commanding and listen. Competent sergeants know what they need. Besides, it’s still break time. I’m just Alejandro. You’re just Roach.”

Before Roach could reply, Alejandro leaned forward and sucked a nipple into his warm, wet mouth while flicking the other, earning a gasp at the tongue teasing it and wriggling hips searching for friction. Their cocks pressed together as Roach ground his pelvis down, then again, driving the rhythm of their dry humping as fast as he could. Unfortunately, in his affected state, this wasn’t that fast.

He growled in frustration, the pleasure simultaneously too much in his inexperience, yet too little.

“What’s wrong, hm?”

“I want it harder!”

Alejandro tested the waters, applying gentle pressure as he bit Roach’s pectoral.

His reply was somewhere between a whimper and yelp. “Nn!~ Not what I meant!”

The man simply soothed it with his tongue, reaching up to caress Roach’s head.

“The grinding, that’s what I mean.”

With a slow grip on Roach’s waist, giving him time to realize and protest if desired, Alejandro used those massive muscles to rock him back and forth.

[gravidwithlore]

Building a Home: Flash Forward

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Didnt post this for a while bc I wasn't sure if people would be interested esp bc it's not kinky, not even a little bit. And also I was going to add more at the beginning and end of another characters perspective, but hell with it! I wrote it for me, and I had fun, and I want to share it! So have some whump/comfort featuring 5 year old Wulf and all of his parents.

______________________

Wulf was trying very hard not to be scared. One of the other kids was crying earlier, and one of the mean bad guys hit them so hard that now they had a cut on their lip and now their face was starting to turn a purpley color. So Wolf was trying very hard not to be scared. Or at least not to show that he was scared. All of his parents had always told him it's okay to be scared, or sad, or angry, to feel what you need to feel, but that sometimes our emotions made us act in ways that hurt other people, hurt ourselves, or could make a situation worse. Wulf felt like if he showed his scared, it would definitely make this situation worse.  

Thinking about his parents made him think about his Papa, and thinking about the last time he saw his Papa made tears start to burn his eyes. So he tried not to think of his Papa. But there wasn't much to do in the dank cold caves he and the other kids were being kept prisoner in, so he ended up circling back to thinking about his Papa despite trying very hard not to think about his Papa. 

Ever since the triplets were born, Papa had made an effort of setting aside time just for him and Wulf. And Wulf loved his little siblings very much, but he always loved just Papa and Wulf time. And today, or was it yesterday? It was so hard to tell here, but he'd just wanted to show Papa a cool plant he'd found a few days ago while playing with some of the village boys. His Papa had been trying to do art lately, and Wulf thought it would be really pretty to draw. And maybe later Bama would let them take a look at their big books of different plants, and they could compare Papa and Wulf's pretty drawings to the pictures in the books to see what kind of plant it is! Wulf knew he could ask his Bama to just tell him what the plant was, but it just felt more special this way and he wanted to share it with his Papa during Papa and Wulf time. 

But when they got to the edge of the farm, Papa had gotten tense, and some strange men riding by stopped in front of them. At first Wulf thought their black leather gear looked really cool, but then he noticed how on edge his Papa was. And then he heard the sound of whimpering and crying coming from one of the big sacks the strange men carried on their horses. One of the men knew Papa! Wulf had met people that knew his parents before, people from outside of their village at least. His Jiji sometimes had other bards visit from his super secret order, and his Bama met with other clerics and druids, and he'd even met his Dad's sister a few times, even though she didn't seem to like Papa very much for some reason. But he'd never met anyone who knew his Papa from before, well before he was born he guessed. Wulf had asked a few times but Papa had always looked sort of sad and said he didn't have anyone from before, his family had been gone a long long time. 

But this man knew Papa from before, and Papa was not at all happy to see him. He had put an arm in front of Wulf, and told him to get one of his other parents, and to run! Wulf tried to run, he tried to run so fast, he knew his Mama was just a field over, and his Jiji was still in the house, and he could hear Dad banging away at the forge. But he wasn't fast enough. The chains that wrapped around his middle dug painfully into his arms and chest as they yanked him away from his family and towards the bad riders. He could see his Papa fighting, and he didn't have his sword, not even the wooden swords he sometimes used when sparring with Mama. 

Wulf screamed as loud as he could as he felt one of the strangers arms wrap around him, just like his parents had taught him to do if an adult ever grabbed him without his permission. Papa was still fighting the Bad Man from before, and for the first time in his life Wulf saw his Papa afraid. More afraid than he even knew someone could be afraid. Wulf tried to shout for his Papa, as tears began to stream down his face, but one of the bad people stuffed some gross tasting cloth in his mouth. He tried to kick and punch whoever held him, even though his parents said it wasn't okay to do hits, Wulf felt like this one time would probably be okay. He was the strongest boy in the village, even stronger than the 10 year olds who were twice his age. But even though he heard a crack and the stranger holding him shout in pain, he wasn't strong enough to break out of their grasp. Papa wasn't doing much better, his fists outmatched by the Bad Man’s mean looking sword. But suddenly his Papa had taken one of the knives the Bad Man had stored on his side! He’d always told Wulf stealing was wrong, but to Wulf this felt like a good stealing. 

He renewed his efforts to break free again, struggling against his captors' hold, but again to no avail. The bad strangers started to ride off, and Wulf saw one of them, with an evil looking smile, raise a hand out and cast magic towards his Papa. Wulf tried to warn him, but his mouth was still full of that gross cloth! He struggled, the hardest he'd struggled yet, as they pulled a burlap bag over him and rode off. The last thing he saw was his Papa trying his best to fight off the magic, but losing and collapsing, unconsciousness, into the dirt. 

“Gods-damn I swear that kid broke at least two of my fucking ribs boss.” One of the bad guys complained, his hand holding his side. 

“Shut up, and get these brats into position. We have a limited amount of time to complete the ritual, and I won't be delayed by your bitching.” The Bad Man growled at them. 

“Yeah, sure thing boss.” The bad guy muttered as he warily approached Wulf. Broken out of his thoughts, Wulf went back to planning his escape. So far he was still on the first step: Find a good opportunity to escape. He didn't know what this ritual was, or why he and the other kids were here for it, but he knew it couldn't be good, and he also knew his own window of opportunity was about to close. When the bad guy went to grab him he growled, hoping it would deter him enough to give Wulf some more time to think. The bad guy flinched, but unfortunately he wasn't as scared of Wulf as he was of the Bad Man. 

His parents had always told him cursing was bad, and to do as they say and not as they do, especially his Papa, but this wasn't a time for rules, so Wulf mentally cursed at himself for not being as scary as the Bad Man. He may have been the strongest boy in the village, but he was only 5 years old! The Bad Man had at least 10, maybe 15, more years of experience in being scary than Wulf did! The bad guy shoved him into place, and Wulf could feel panic rising in his chest as the other kids starting crying. None of them knew what was going to happen, but all of them knew it was nothing good, and Wulf still didn't know how he was going to escape. The bad stranger, the one who'd put the spell on his Papa, started chanting, and Wulf tried to stay strong, but he couldn't do anything, he was still so small, and he was so so scared, and his Papa might be dead and-

Before the panicked sob could escape his chest, and loud BOOM! echoed through the cavern and a bright light across from him lit up his- HIS PAPA! And beside him his Dad and his Mama, and a giant wolf with fur the color of his Bama’s hair! Wulf’s relief didn't last long as the Bad Man grabbed his hair and held a knife up to his throat, his narrow evil eyes locked on Papa. Wulf couldn't help but whimper as the sharp blade started to dig into his exposed neck. 

“Let go of my son!” His Papa shouted. But even though he was relieved to see his Papa, alive and here to save him, Wulf could tell something wasn't quite right. His voice was too… theatrical? Wulf remembered his JiJi teaching him that word, but he wasn't sure he was using it right. And Papa was holding knives that were way too small for him, and Papa didn't use throwing knives like that. And his brows were furrowed together like they did when he got too competitive during game night. But the end of his eyebrow ticked up, just like his JiJi’s did when he was playing a funny joke and waiting for you to get it and laugh with him. Plus, why did his hair look like it was blowing in the breeze? 

“You heard the fucking man. Let. Him. Go.” His Papa growled low from behind him. Wulf didn't risk getting cut by moving his head, but he lifted his eyes up and could see the tip of his Papa’s blade, the one his Dad had made just for him, with the protective runes down the center, pressed into the side of the Bad Man’s neck. His Papa, his real Papa, was right there behind him! Then that must mean-

When Wulf looked back, his Papa, his JiJi disguised as his Papa, gave him a reassuring wink. Wulf knew they were all still in very real danger, the Bad Man was growling out his own response to his Papa, and the dagger was still at his neck, but he felt the tears of relief sting his eyes anyway. But then he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and a release of the pressure of the knife on his neck. The Bad Man had gotten so distracted by Papa that his hand had drifted up towards Wulf’s face. Suddenly he realized everyone was in a standstill. His parents weren't making a move because the Bad Man still had a knife on Wulf’s neck, but the bad guys weren't moving because his Papa had his sword pressed into the Bad Man’s neck. But if Wulf made sure the Bad Man didn't have a knife near his throat anymore, then his parents could kick all the bad guys butt's no problem! 

Seeing his moment to strike, Wulf bit down on the Bad Man’s hand. And he bit down hard. He imagined he was biting down into one of his Bama’s crisp apples from the trees on their farm, and he held on. He heard the Bad Man scream and curse in pain, but he refused to let go off the knife. After a moment of surprise and pain, he gripped the knife harder and drove the blade deep into Wulf’s cheek. It hurt so bad! Wulf had never hurt so bad, even that time he scrapped his knees really really hard on the rocks he wasn't supposed to be playing on. It hurt harder than anything Wulf could ever imagine, but he remembered his Papa falling down unconscious, and how he tried to help and wasn't strong enough. He had to be strong and help his Papa! So he bit down even harder than he knew he could, and even heard a crunch just like he would when taking a bite of Bama’s apples. These tasted absolutely nothing like Bama’s apples, the Bad Man tasted NASTY, but the taste of victory felt sweet as Wulf heard the sound of the knife chattering to the ground. 

The Bad Man yelled and kicked Wulf to the ground, into the center of the scary runes drawn in chalk. Wulf landed painfully on his hand and knees, face still throbbing in pain from where the knife cut into his cheek. He looked up just in time to see the bad stranger lift their hand and a blast of fire shooting right towards him, ready to engulf him in its flames. But right at the last second, the flames split apart before they reached Wulf, the light blue glow of a purely magic shield shone where the orangey-red flames beat against it. Wulf looked up to see his Dad, in the full suit of armor Wulf had only seen packed within it’s chest, when he peeked into the parts of his Dad’s forge he knew he shouldn't be in. 

Before Wulf could marvel in the glory of his Dad's cool armor, one of the bad guys shouted as they brought their sword down to attack. Before his Dad could move his shield up or swing the big hammed that looked just like the smaller one he used in the forge, his Mama's rapier pierced the bad guy in his side, throwing him off their path. Around his Dad's leg, he could see his Mama, one arm protectively around one of the other kids, the other getting ready to cast a spell. All of a sudden, he felt a hot moist muzzle on the back of his neck, teeth grabbing hold of the back of his shirt and lifting him. He flipped up and over, sliding down the wolf's neck to settle comfortably on their back, as the wolf gracefully leapt out of the path of one of the bad guys' ax. 

“I've got you my dearest Wulf cub, now hold on tight.” The wolf spoke in their Bama’s voice. Wulf grabbed on tight around their Bama’s neck and let a few tears of relief escape as he dug his face into their fur. Then the wolf growled and snarled, deep and threatening, and Wulf snapped his head up to see his Bama approaching a bad guy trying to grab one of the other kids. 

“Hey back off, meanie!” Wulf screamed, a little surprised when the bad guy actually looked a little scared of him. But the bad guy recovered and tried to grab the crying kid the same way the Bad Man had grabbed Wulf and threatened him earlier. Their Bama wouldn't allow that to happen though, and they leapt forward and snapped their jaws around the arm reaching for the defenseless child. Wulf didn't want to leave the warm safety of their Bama's fur, but the other child had just crumpled and kept crying instead of running away. So they slid off their Bama's back, and helped the other kid up. Wulf made sure neither of them looked in their Bama's direction as they heard the sound of something tearing and the bad guy's scream of pain. 

“Just close your eyes and it'll be okay.” Wulf gently coaxed them onto his Bama's back with them, and made sure they didn't see their Bama's blood-soaked muzzle. 

“A truer wolf there's never been, my little cub.” Bama's voice, slightly deeper in this form, rumbled through him as Wulf settled on their back again.

“Can't argue with that Mel.” JiJi appeared at their side, another child in tow. “A badass, just like your Papa.” Wulf gleamed with pride as their JiJi kissed them on the forehead, and deposited the child in their arms onto Bama's back. Wulf could feel the other child wrap their hands around his waist, as if they were hanging on for dear life. Arms free again, Wulf watched as his JiJi threw a knife straight into the eye of an approaching bad guy then leaped and disappeared into thin air, then reappearing on the other side of the crowd surrounding his Dad and another child. A loud clap of thunder boomed through the cavern as he landed, the force of it knocking over all the bad guys and leaving them at the mercy of his Dad's hammer. 

Wulf looked around as their Bama leapt away from a new attacker, worried he couldn't see his Papa in the fray. But he found him, injured, but not nearly as injured as the Bad Man was. For a moment Wulf thought the Bad Man had gotten the upper hand on his Papa, pinning him to the ground, knife moving towards his face. But at the last second, Papa drove the knife to the side and with a roar, rolled them over. A quick punch to distract and daze, then he darted behind some rocks for cover so he could attack from a different position. Wulf smiled. His Papa would do this sometimes when his parents were sparring ‘for real.’ It worked every single time, and from the Bad Man's confused and angry reaction, Wulf could tell it was going to work this time too. 

An angry growl distracted Wulf, as Bama snapped at a bad guy who'd tried to stab his Mama while she was trying to calm down a really scared kid who was hiding in between some rocks. Seeing Wulf and the other kids on his Bama’s back seemed to earn their trust enough to leap into his Mama’s waiting arms. As they did, a magical door opened and Jiji, and the kid that his Dad had been protecting clutching onto his back, stepped through it to join them.

“Wulf,” His Mama sighed in relief at the sight of him and put a hand on his cheek, as behind her his could see her rapier moving on its own as it sliced a bad guy to shreds. “My love, you're safe now. We'll make sure you all get home safe and sound.” She said to the other kids. “Wulf, are these all the children that were taken with you?” Mama asked him, voice serious and full of business. Wulf looked around. All the other kids he vaguely knew from around the village and other villages in the area. Amongst the chaos, Wulf searched his memory and counted how many whimpering sacks he saw on the back of the strange riders horses, how many scared kids had been tied up and held prisoner with him, who were about to be used in a scary mysterious ritual. Including him, there were five. Looking around him, he counted. Five kids total. 

“Yes Mama.” Wulf nodded. She smiled and hoisted the child in her arms to Jiji. 

“Good, then you all get out of here. Papa, Dad and I will… clean up here.” As if to punctuate her words, Wulf could hear a loud crack as his Dad's hammer hit someone in some part of the body that definitely shouldn't be hit by a giant hammer. 

“But Mama!” Wulf protested, suddenly scared of being split up from his family again. 

“No if, ands, or buts, kiddo. Help keep everyone safe, stay with JiJi and Bama, and we'll see you soon okay?” Mama said softly as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him on the forehead, all while her rapier disarmed its opponent and stabbed them directly through the heart. 

“Okay Mama.” Wulf sighed, partly in disappointment he couldn't stay and help, partly in relief his parents were here to save everyone. 

“Be safe, my loves.” Bama growled affectionately, as they turned and took off for the exit, JiJi not far behind. Wulf took one last look at the battle as they left, most of the bad guys looked like they were dead or dying, Dad and Mama just picking off the last few stragglers. But Wulf already knew that, his eyes scanned the battlefield, searching for someone’s who’s special talent was not being seen. But right before Bama turned a corner in their dash for escape, Wulf finally caught sight of his Papa, driving his sword right through the Bad Man’s head. 

(After this Melian is too worn out to magically heal Wulf's face all the way, and he's left with a scar. Wulf is pumped that he looks just like his Papa and is trying to show he's strong for everyone, and Brone is on the verge of a panic attack, but I didn't have the time or motivation to write this whole scene(s) out)

[throughtrialbyfire]

20 Questions for Writers

thank you so much to @wispstalk and @dirty-bosmer for tagging me!! <3

gonna tag @mareenavee @changelingsandothernonsense @thequeenofthewinter @skyrim-forever @trickstarbrave @oblivions-dawn @orfeoarte @gilgamish @totally-not-deacon @archangelsunited !! no pressure as always, and if i havent tagged you and you wanna do this, go ahead and say that i did, i'm tagging you in my mind <33

answering under the read more!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

five atm! but i'm planning on splitting my one-shot-as-chapters fic into individual fics. i think i'll have around 11, then, if i don't take out some.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

99,173

3. What fandoms do you write for?

TES and CoD Zombies! though i don't write a lot for CoD Zombies, just when i get in a certain mood for it here and there. old special interest wont grant me a moments peace lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

i only have five uploaded, but i'll put them here!

1. An Inner Sanctity - 41 2. If By Sun and Moon I Swore - 38 3. Cycle of the Serpent - 23 4. The Mark You Left - 15 5. Portraits Under Forgotten Suns - 2 (this is the one i'm gonna split up into their own fics :3)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes!! i even carry on convos in the comments sometimes for the hell of it, i love interacting with ppl <33333333

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think the one-shot for the prompts "forgotten/devotion" for tesfest '23 about the shipwreck of the brinehammer, since the main character dies lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the one for the prompt "in bloom" from tesfest '23!! it was just a little fluff fic for my ocs athenath and ja'dato <3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

luckily no, the spaces i've found myself in these days are really positive :3 especially compared to when i wrote on FF.net in like 2009

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

none of it is published, but i do sometimes! it's a good way to flex my muscles (haha) in blending thought and action, balancing descriptors (how vivid is Too Much), and seeing how certain characters interact with each other in a vulnerable state. maybe i'll post some someday, idk. mostly i just do it for funsies, so idk what kind you'd classify any of mine.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i havent in many years, so no, but that could chance if the mood strikes me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope, but when i was writing for a different fandom in high school, my writing for a particular character wound up on ppls RP accounts as their versions backstory, as well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but if anyone wants to translate my fics, feel free!! just give me a heads-up!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yep, on my old ao3, a good friend and i turned an RP into a fic! i enjoyed it immensely bc we wrote really well together!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

idk, i just groove where the dynamics take me <3

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i hate to say it, but An Inner Sanctity needs a major overhaul that i don't have the energy for right now. when i started writing that fic, i didn't have a solid grasp on athenath's personality. now that i do, i'm gonna need to rewrite all the chapters i've had ready for it, and pivot the direction of the fic to get it where i wanted it to wind up eventually. i really do want to finish it, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i get a lot of compliments on my imagery/descriptions/atmosphere! i love describing shit, so i'm glad ppl enjoy reading those bits of my work <3 oh!! and character/narrative details. i wrote a ~180k word fic in my senior year of high school solely off my mental notes for it, and it still wasnt finished when i dropped it a year or so later due to Circumstances

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

biting off WAAAAAAAY more than i can chew!! i have so, so many things planned for CotS and who knows if those things will get picked up on by folks or even work later down the line. GAHH

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if you can realistically do it, go for it. if i could fluently speak all the languages i've tried to teach myself, i'd probably include them in fics where they would fit!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

naruto, i was writing naruto fics on a defunct dress-up site when i was a kid AHAH.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Cycle of the Serpent. theres seldom a time i'm not thinking about those elves. yes, i will admit with my whole chest that i'm a tad desperate for people to read it and interact with it, but i think if i could explain everything (without spoiling it obviously) i have planned for this fic and just how much is going on in the background of the details i throw in, the reasons certain characters behave the way they do, and the amount of time i've spent working on it (the doc for it is at roughly ~96k and we're not even at the Real beginning of the solitude arc) and the sheer amount of hours i've spent making sure details line up, you'd understand why i'm losing all my sanity daniel-amnesia-the-dark-descent style over this story. i started writing it as a for fun "no one's ever gonna see this" exercise that also helped me greatly in recovering from long covid brainfog, and i think even if one day i look back and think of it as "not the best thing i've ever written", it'll still be one of the most passion-driven things i've ever written, and i'm happy about that. <3

woof, what a ramble. if you made it to the end of this, thank you, and i hope you're having a good day!!

[zukkacore]

could you explain the 8 jaces thesis I'm not sure I quite get it

OK SORRY THIS SAT SO LONG LMAO. 8 Jaces thesis is just what I jokingly call like. My personal internal logic on how many jaces there are are exist with both fantasy high and within the minds of the characters. However, for any of this to make sense, once we get to like. The conceptual Jaces. You HAVE HAVE HAVE to buy into the internal logic that Porter cared for at least some version of jace, maybe even loved him. A logic I buy into readily bc of Porter's need to look to the future and see a version of someone that doesn't exist in canon with Gorgug, but also Porter's need to look back to the past with nostalgia and grasp onto something that he views as glorious and true and already gone. Whether Porter looks to the future, or the to the past, he covets what he can't have. There is a future version of jace he wants. There is a past version of jace he wants. He is failing to hold onto either while also having encircled both and made them his. AGAIN. This is not canon, this is an INTERNAL LOGIC you just have to buy into that is extrapolated from the text. And with that, we can get into 8 Jace theory.

It's probably best to work our way up.

CANON

PART 1: JacePrime - the original Jace which I usually call Jaceprime to distinguish him from his 3 clones. There are two versions of Jaceprime

Pre-JacePrime - The canonical Jace that existed before he was shatterstarred. And we can guess that he may have been the jace that we saw in Freshman year. This is the First Jace

Post-Jaceprime: The canonical Jace that existed after getting shatterstarred. I feel like it's valid to compartmentalize these into two different Jaces even tho they are not like. Physically different like the clones are. This feels fair bc in the narrative his personality is pretty different in Junior year, so much that it makes the old jace seem like a nonentity by comparison? There's also the fact that he died and came back to life and is being on some level controlled by Porter. (I think on some level there even is a form of potential possession as well? It's very up to interpretation. Like ruben doesn't remember anything and Porter can definitely call upon shatterstarred people to Do Stuff for him n follow commands)

However, these two jaces are like. Two different versions of the same Jace. But they are Canon

Pt 2. Jaceclones

3. 4. 5. Jaceclones - These are like. Fully people. That jace summons in the final battle. They are not a hivemind and to not share a consciousness. They are not really mirror images. They are like. People. Tbh based on the way the spell acts it kinda seems like if Simulacra could be used to make multiple people instead of one. I also feel comfortable calling these all Jace, they are just a different Jace. Because they are people they have the capacity to basically be him. And they are all canon.

Before I continue. I will say that the original stemmed from ppl making Jokes about 4 Jaces bc of Jaceprime and the jaceclones. But 4 Jaces thesis became 5 Jaces thesis when I was like. To be fair tho the jace we see in JY is not the real jace. There's a fifth jace, freshman year jace, who is dead. Who haunts the narrative (i know overused phrase but idc)

Pt. 3 Jaces that are Conceptual - or exist in a character's head.

6. Porter's Idealized Post-Jaceprime: Technically, Idealized Pre-jaceprime existed first bc it was suggested by @adaines-furious-feast but we're gonna skip to Post Bc I think you need to understand Idealized Post Jaceprime. Idealized Post-jaceprime (I think is an @italicized-oh special? Sorry if I got this wrong. P sure it was a message from them in my inbox) is the version of Jace in porter's head that he thought he would get when he killed jace and brought him back wrong. In my mind, this ties into my whole thing abt Gorgug MCAT Thesis, which is a different thesis on Porter's relationship to Jace. IMO, A lot of the perceived flaws that Porter sees in Gorgug are real flaws in Jace. Porter percieves Gorgug as noncommital, not very bright, timid, and afraid to embrace his natural gifts. Porter wants to actualize Gorgug. This is similarly, the perfect, actualized Jace that Porter thought he would be getting. Making plans with. Being his darling little acolyte saint stardiamond. This is also a fantasy that the real post-shatterstar jace can only fall short of.

7. Porter's idealized Pre-Jaceprime: Again, this is an AFF special. This Jace is the old version of Jace that exists only in Porter's head. Ok. So this is a whole thing that includes having to buy into the internal logic that Porter misses the old Jace. I've made the argument that he has that capacity. he is a nostalgic guy who years for a return to a glorious past. So AS jace exists in his post shatterstar state, the nostalgia Porter has for the old, glorious jace sits alongside his nostalgia for a past that no longer exists. This version in Porter’s head is inherently distorted by nostalgia. Again he covets what he can’t have bc at the time. He could not accept Jace as-is. But now he wants to recapture it. It was perfect as a moment in the past. It is no longer his. It was never his bc it was always in his head.

Outlier Jace who is also a concept but in a different way

8. 25 Year old Green New-Hire Jace: 8th jace is technically an anomaly in that he is both the 8th jace, but also he is a double of all the old jaces. Hence the "this is the 8th jace b/c i'm being generous to your sanity when in reality this is actually 14 jaces. 7x2 = 14) unlike the other jaces, whose ages are kinda indistinct but tend to be interpreted as slightly older, this jace is straight up young. I jokingly call him 25 year old green newhire jace b/c i was just like. Shocked rewatching freshman year how young and inexperienced Jace sounded as a teacher. I think this is a jace we sometimes shy away from confronting, but this Jace is also pitiable in my mind b/c of the sandra lynn connection in which he was exploited by an older person who uses religion as a tool to acrue power, which makes Jace's canonical denial of justice feel very strange and out of place. I actually have kinda come to accept that I do think Jace is canonically probably pretty young and the older middle aged chainsmoker we all make fun of is actually more something we think is funny as a fandom. (And I love cunty middle aged chain smoker Jace. I will never give him up <3)

And there you have it. We have infinite multijace theory. I'm so sorry. Please submit all onceler jokes to my inbox promptly

[clarafyer]

Omnomnom dehydrated apple chips are some of my favorite safe foods

Actually yk what I'll ramble about my sensory shit

So like I've loved spicy, bold flavours like hot cheetos, curry, buffalo wings, etc, and I'll never not accept them as a safe food.

Sometimes though my sensory needs just- change back and forth, like from "I will vomit if I eat avocado toast today" to "avocado toast is the only thing I will accept as breakfast today" which is I guess where audhd comes in. There are some foods that bypass all my shifting needs, like strawberries, dehydrated apples, hot cheetos, potato chips, and pasta (ESPECIALLY the bowties omg I love the bowtie pasta)

Aside from taste needs, sometimes I really REALLY need a tight hug, not because I'm having a rough day but just because my body really wants to be under pressure for like 4 seconds and then it's good, aND THEN IT SWITCHES TO "If my parents even just barely touch my hair I will die of the sudden itch and sometimes even pain"

Also florescent lights just kill me most of the time which is why I am very happy that most of my teachers don't have every light turned on in their classrooms

I need socks to walk anywhere around my house but I will have straight up insomnia if I wear them to sleep

I haven't ever gone fully non-verbal but when I talk I either have to repeat myself 4 times because of how quiet I'm mumbling, stutter too much to the point where I just restart my sentence after pausing, repeat a word when I didn't mean to (for example during a chapter review of Lord of the flies I said "Piggy and Piggy" instead of "Jack and Piggy" and I got laughed at D:) ORRRRR I NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE QUIETER BECAUSE I'M RAMBLING TOOFASTANDLOUDDD

I have two special interests: my OC lore, and Genshin Impact. My childhood special interest was- also my old OC lore (7 year old me had the amazing and magical story, ever so creatively named "the enchanted forest") that went on for like 4-5 years where I would always want to talk about it and think about it to sleep, aaaaaand My Little Pony (I'VE REWATCHED MLP AND NINJAGO BOTH LIKE AT LEAST 8 TIMES but I wouln't call Ninjago a special interest bc it was more of an on and off obsession-)

I do also have hyperfixations ofc and they usually last up to 2 months, pretty sure that lines up with the statistical average idk

Also sometimes I just need to- punch something with full force. I never get to though and Ik it'd feel great (I did throw a pillow like 5 times in a call with my friend when I was hyper though so like... I've been able to get that excitement out-)

I'm sometimes really slow or just straight up zone out mid-conversation which is frustrating on both ends

I have a wide and advanced vocabulary for my age but [read the prior paragraph on talking], I usually don't get to use it to it's full potential because of that issue .-.

(I just realized this whole rant about my stuff is gonna be perfect for if I can ever actually get diagnosed by someone yayyy)

Mom told me that as a 1-3 year old I never really played with my toys but just lined them up either by size or color (yk those like- tower thingies with the rings of differing sizes and colors? I always ordered them correctly just out of the need for it to look right)

When I was 5 this girl in Kindergarten had a sling on but it was a fancy bedazzled sling so I really wanted to feel the gems but she wouldn't let me and I got sad :(

I've always loved swings and those like- spider web climbing equipment, still do just because I like rocking around and being able to stretch and hang and maneuver around the differently angled bars/ropes on the spider web thing (SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY CALLED)

I also have this like- neck shaking and hand flapping tic/stim, sometimes it's uncontrollable sometimes it's a controllable urge, and when it's a tic it sometimes hurts or is just straight up excessive

Okay my mind is going blank now so buhbye this was super long if anyone read all of that- kudos to you, Idk why you would subject yourself to reading it all ok BYEEE

[moderndayamymarch]

someone tell people that the reaping was not rigged to choose prim (so that katniss would volunteer). bc

1. that defeats the whole purpose of the book? which is that katniss isn’t some special “chosen one”, shes a traumatized teenage girl propagandized into this “chosen one” image by the actual adults in power. also the whole point is that anyone can be picked in the reaping- yeah you have a better chance if you’re younger and/or wealthier (bc your name is entered less) but you can still be picked (like peeta or prim)

2. the capitol does not give a shit that some teenage girl is illegally hunting. they have bigger fish to fry. and if they wanted to punish her for it, they would do it through the peacekeepers, not the hunger games

3. also coriolanus by the end of ballad, no longer views the hunger games as punishment- he views it as a form of control, a way to demonstrate that he’s the ultimate victor. putting a potentially rebellious young woman into the games goes against this. he’s not going to purposefully put someone in the arena that could pull a sejanus (which she does lol) or a lucy gray (which she also does lol)

4. also he and the capitol have zero idea who she is. or prim. or anyone in district 12. because they don’t care. or don’t pay attention. like snow tells us at the end of ballad that lucy gray can fly around 12 all she wants, but she can’t bother him in the capitol. he purposefully doesn’t think or look at 12. also he’s the president and is way too busy to be monitoring at rando 16 year old in a backwater district

5. when the capitol does rig a reaping, it’s for a public figure. like the children of a victor. or even the sibling of one. like people that the capitol already know/or are connected to someone the capitol cares about.

6. lucy gray’s reaping was not rigged by the capitol. it was by the mayor working off of a personal grudge. the capitol didn’t care he did this because they didn’t give a shit about the hunger games. they just needed a girl tribute, I don’t think they cared at all whose name the mayor read off.

7. and the capitol did not rig district 11 or 12’s reapings to pick two 12 year olds to pit against each other for the “drama”. they don't need to handpick tributes with good “storylines” bc, as we know, mentors will just often craft a story for the tribute after they’re picked. also they don’t really need to worry about having good “characters” bc they have the career tributes who are taught to be entertaining and to engage the capitol. also we know that there have been “boring” years of the games.

in short: coriolanus snow had no idea who katniss was until she volunteered for prim (and he lowkey probably didn’t even care about/notice her until the meadow song)

[artinandwritin]

For the ask game 6, 10, 11, and 14... hopefully those can fill your time but let me know if you need more lmao!

AGH TY for asking so many!! Im certain ill be able to fill a lot of time with those <333

6. Favourite ships; like i mentioned on your post, for me it really fluctuates what ship is in the front of my mind on any given day. Ofc, hiccstrid is a big one (theyre really good to me personally) and I'm currently also in a big snotstrid mood bc of my friend @spacenintendogs 's dragons off the coast au! (Also p l e a s e if you aren't familiar yet with dragons off the coast im begging you to look into it, its such an interesting take on a modern au and Rose's writing and worldbuilding is absolutely phenomonal). Fishlout also takes up a space in my heart, adore them so much! The dynamic is so good.

Ruffnut and her army of men is also so good, and the dynamics she has with Eret, Fishlegs and Snotlout is really fun and has a lot of potential. Tho i do also think she and Heather have potential. As do Eret and Heather! That whole group can just be mixed and matched together haha. Heather and Fishlegs ofc is also wholesome, they deserved more than this!

Due to me being so involved in the oc side of the fandom and being a really big supporter of everything oc (which is common knowledge after 4 years of this haha), I also love a lot of people's ocxcanon ships! Such as Rose's oc Ermintrude and Snotlout, @nosuda-cringe 's oc Mayeth Vang and Snotlout, and ofc the ships you've hinted and teased in otwd (zephbal save me... save me zephbal. I think about them a. Normal amount. Same with castav but i wouldnt let them save me, they need to save themselves first), plus a lot of others. Theyre all very dear to me <333

10: favourite songs from the soundtrack; OKAY so ive actually got history with this! When i was about 13-16-ish i had music classes as part of my middle school experience (lmao) and we were given the freedom to do any project we wanted. In those 2-3 years i used the httyd soundtrack twice for projects!

First I used Forbidden Friendship (that song man. That song) as like. An underbeat or smt? To add things on. Im sure it sounded horrendous and y'know the other kids in my class laughed at me bc of me using an animated movie's soundtrack, but the song did remain a favourite of mine and still is.

The second time I used the soundtrack was just after the third movie released! We were once again granted freedom and I decided to learn Once There Were Dragons on the piano! (Im not certain i still know it LMAO its been 5 years, this was even before I learned about OTWD which is in hindsight pretty funny)

Ofc once again the kids around me weren't amused and I couldn't play piano to save my life (my hands are too small to reach the octaves needed which. Sucked haha) but i had a lot of fun and the song really stayed with me throughout the years, it always brings me at least some sort of emotion <3

11; favourite locations; OH gotta be Old Berk and Dragon Island. We spend so much time in Old Berk during the shows and the movies and the form of the island is just so... memorable, in a way. In school of dragons, i always loved climbing the Great Hall up to Gothi's little hut haha. Miss that silly little island.

Dragon Island is soooo underused but i adore the implications sm! Like, the Red Death's corpse is there (and we all know how much i love environment changing giants) and we haven't really seen it since RoB/DoB. Underused location in my humble opinion.

Honorable mentions to Berserker Island and the weird treasure island from rtte season 1. They really slayed haha

14; favourite animation style; everyone knows i'm a big hand animation girlie so I have to go for those little moments in the franchise where more 2D animation is implemented (like in Fishlegs' leadership dream and the Boneknapper special). The keyframing and the subtle movements are really worth analysing and i absolutely adore how it's used. A real treat for us animators! (Special mention to the animation that's been going around from the live special, so good)

As for 3d styles, I have to say the first movie. It has a very raw edge which i love and it gives everything a great feeling. Plus, the animation error during forbidden friendship they left in the final cut owns me <333

[stellewriites]

questions about books! thanks for the tag @mikichko @pricegouge 🫂

1. the last book I read

i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

so fucking tough but i really enjoyed it

2. a book I recommend

the martian by andy weir

i’d previously struggled with first person in books and i was never into science but this changed my whole view on both,, mark is so funny and down to earth (badum tss!) you can’t help but get invested and the science is so easily explained - also i liked that a lot of it could genuinely be done except the initial sandstorm like it wasn’t bullshit for the plot. if you’ve seen the film then still give the book a go bc it goes a different way and it’s worth it imo

3. a book I couldn't put down

the book thief by markus zusak

it’s been a fair few years since i read this (ten i think? shit) but i remember coming back from college and reading it every day as soon as i got home and absolutely bawling all the way through. it’s on my reread list

4. a book l've read twice or more

despite watching things over and over i struggle reading things twice even when i really want to - but!! if graphic novels/comics count then ive read the watchmen a few times

5. a book on my tbr

my family and other animals by gerald durrell

one my grandma recommended years ago that i never got around to but im determined to read at some point. only short but it’s meant to be funny

6. a book l've put down

the first harry potter - tried before all of the author’s bullshit but i really struggled to enjoy it as much as people said i would. didnt even get halfway

8. a favorite book from childhood

a lot of these have been from my childhood lmao that’s when i did most of my reading but ill go further back into my niche zombie phase as a young teen and say world war z by max brooks (also loved his zombie survival guide,, it was like a special interest pls don’t ask)

9. a book I would give to a friend

i don’t really read anything similar to my friends? they either like practical craft books or band biographies,, i recced im glad my mom died to a co worker if that counts?

10. a fiction book I own

my best friend’s exorcism - i couldn’t tell you if it’s any good, ive not yet read it. a lot of my books are bought for me and it takes me like at least five years to get around to them

11. a nonfiction book I own

battersea’s a cat a day

a book where this pet charity has put together 365 tiny true stories about different cats to read every day 🥲🥲 it’s very cute

12. what I am currently reading

none atm - need to get on one i’ve been recommended soon

13. what l am planning on reading next

the one i’ve been recommended as mentioned above! it’s a romcom so a lil new to me for books,, i usually stick to fics for this type of thing and go more sci-fi/horror in published books but i think ill enjoy it

14. my shelfie

not an accurate shelfie on the left because it’s about 5 years old but i wanted to include my cat here

the covers are so sun bleached now in comparison on the right ahsjajkls - got maybe three shelves for books and one for art books/comics?

no pressure tags: @jackrabbitem @sentientcave @madstronaut @valkyri @boolger @noicedog @w00lgathering @xxdrixx @ohlawdthebirds

[erythromanc3r]

Annual writing self-evaluation

I was tagged by @pipergirl17 (and I'm so glad she did - thank you, friend!)

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

Better Living Through Chemistry

Among the Willows

It ain't fiction, just a natural fact

kiss me where you bruise me

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I'm proud of all my children but I'm most proud of myself for writing Among the Willows because it really did start as just vibes and it ended up being a lovely little vignette of a moment in time that I put a lot of research and love into. Honorable mention to Better Living Through Chemistry because it was my first PWP and I personally thought it was a unique and fun take on sex pollen.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

[buzzer noise] I am proud of ALL my children!!!!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I loved this exchange at the tail-end of kiss me where you bruise me because it was a good exercise in writing some post-coital awkwardness between two people who don't know each other all that well while still acknowledging that there's the potential for something more there. And I needed Eddie to take any opportunity to be a little softer and sillier bc he desperately wants Chrissy to not see him as mean and scary!

“I’m…good,” he says, throwing his palms up and flattening his lips into a tight, awkward smile. He’s looking for his right sock — she knows it’s on the other side of the mattress. Chrissy doesn’t know if it’s rude or not to grab it, worried Eddie might think she’s pushing him out when she’s not quite sure where she’d prefer he be. The red light of the alarm clock on the bedside table burns a bright 1:37 into the dark when she asks another question, maybe just to cut through the awkward silence. “Are you okay to drive home? It’s late.” (Where is home for Eddie Munson, anyway?) He smiles to himself a little before he answers her. “Nah. I’m a bit of a nocturnal creature, actually.” He throws two hands up, fingers curled out like he’s doing a vampire pose during a game of charades. “Still got a couple hours left in me.”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

I'm a big fan of the incoherent flailing but I also really love when people engage with the details of the fic and tell me something they really loved about a particular line or description! I just love and appreciate getting comments in general!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

November. Something about that month just zapped the energy out of me. This seemed to be a hard time for a lot of us for one reason or another…I propose we move NaNoWriMo to like…March or June or something because November is NOT it.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I gained a lot of confidence. I stopped obsessing over every line being perfect because I would rather have a finished product that others can enjoy instead of a gorgeous, perfect wip that no one else can read. And now that I’m not chasing validation (both internal and external) the process is way less stressful!

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to be more consistent! I want to explore more outlining methods, write more productively…and I want to be a beacon for other writers who are new to the process because the community aspect is so important.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

@staceymcgillicuddy is a rockstar of a writer whose work ethic amazes me. @pipergirl17 my angel in the comments your work is gorgeous and you’re so kind. Extra special shoutout to everyone who writes fearlessly and freakishly because we’re all better for it. And everyone who encourages writers to keep going!

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Wouldn’t you like to know? Ummm honestly though nothing super personal but it ain’t fiction came to me over nights of sitting on my couch watching old metal videos on MTV classic and wishing those two kids made it out of Indiana and got a shot at their dreams.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

The time will pass! Writing is vulnerable and embarrassing but I am more embarrassed by the years I spent not pursuing this hobby and letting all those ideas never leave my brain than by ANYTHING I’ve published.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I want to prioritize finishing all my multichapter wips…but I also want to explore more historical AUs.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

(But only if you want to 👉👈)

@justhere4thevibez, @toodivineforhumanmind, @0nemorestranger

[weirdcoroikafantasyaublog]

Hi I'm back for part 2 the electric boogaloo (the RIGHT blog this time) What does Specs exactly specialize in? What is Gloves? Does Emperor ever become good or is he a bad guy the entire time? What does Prince do about it? Are there any characters that grew up together who are NOT siblings? Last of all, what are the guardians and what do they do? (Fierce, Jet, and Justice?)

Fincerely, Shork

Specs is the team healer! he has a big old staff and a bag of holding full of more traditional healing things for when magic fails him. Healing magic in this au isnt foolproof and is basically just accelerating natural processes, so it leaves scars, it cant bring back lost limbs, and wont repair ailments and disorders ppl have from birth, nor can it cure psychological problems. but specs always finds something that helps whoever needs it.

ok i always forget that gloves exists so idrk yet but i think hes going to be someone working in emperors palace who helps the regicide plan by being a corrupt guard basically who lets the s5 get to emperor

ill explain why the s4 are trying to regicide later but team blue are in the plot bc they walked in on a big crime ring and the crime decided they would be useful ill explain it better later

hmmmmmmmmm emperor kinda fucks off out of the story so he doesnt really get better in the story but he does eventually after real long time

prince has complicated feelings about emperor but he is very glad that the empire is under the control of someone thats actually trying. prince also exiles emperor lmao and pardons the losers who tried to kill a demigod with no real plan. prince just lets emperor do whatever in exile.

i put so much effort into emperors backstory and no effort into what happens after the plot uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

specs and goggles met when they were like 5 so they've basically spent their lives together. they met bobble when they were around 10 and then headphones a few years later and soooo theyre unbelievably close. a lot of the s4 have been close for a while especially between the teams and also aloha having known rider for years and years. the guardians are all best buds from birth practically as well and the xblood are all school buds. awesome. friendship.

The guardians are probably going to have the same role as they do in the manga (putting team blue thru trials to keep them from a big dangerous weapon) and all of them are bird ppl so i can draw more wings yippee i have not thought abt them much yet

sincerely, jeff

sry for lack of writing quality brain not braining