#bc also its a blood pressure med

[s0fter-sin]

is there an actual medical reason why my body just doesn’t respond to medication and if there is please tell me it can be fixed bc this some bullshit

[chemicalcarousel]

oh god just realised the reason we are so hungry is that we only ate some peanut chips and had two cups of coffee today.... and it's 8:20 pm. or maybe we had a small cake too? who tf knows maybe we ate that yesterday. FUCK WE ALSO FORGOT OUR MEDS bruh i blame adhd for this shit istg not even phone alarms help

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ double gold - gr63

the most undescreet mercedes fan makes her way to the olympics for team usa. people very quickly learn why she's very unhinged about her love for all things mercedes.

george russell x usa gymnast!reader / fc: suni lee

warnings/notes: reader is mentioned to have had kidney disease in the past/going through dialysis (shout out suni lee my WIFE) everytime i write a george win he either dnfs or disqualifies. i should stop. i also made this SO FAST. ignore any formatting mistakes.

liked by lilymhe, teamusa, alexalbon and others...

uruser: represented my team (USA) and my team (merc) and then promptly fell asleep on the bus bc my awe of being here is too much for my little brain :(

tagged: mercedesamg, teamusa, and two others...

lilymhe: literally boarding my flighttt !!! im so so proud see u soon !

⤷ uruser: pls tell me you stole alex's hoodie for me...

⤷ lilymhe: he'll never know

⤷ alexalbon: these are PUBLIC comments.

user1: every once and a while i forget lily is not only dating an f1 driver, but her cousin is literally an OLYMPIC FUCKING GYMNAST?

alexalbon: SO PROUD WE WILL SEE U AFTER THE GP!!

logansargeant: i love knowing one of the powerhouses the us sends to the olympics

⤷ uruser: aweeee love u too logannn <3 (US PRIDE THIS WEEKEND BITCH U BETTER NOT FINISH LAST)

⤷ logansargeant: yes ma'am i will make u proud

user2: good luck !!

user3: MAKING THE USA PROUD ONE NAP AT A TIME

mercedesamg: we love our biggest supporter <3

⤷ uruser: i love YOU mercedes

georgerussell: best of luck yn :)!!

⤷ uruser: thanks georgie :D!

⤷ alexalbon: hello?? what is this??

⤷ lilymhe: eyeing you russell

⤷ georgerussell: literally what have i done wrong

⤷ landonorris: nah you cant flirt with his future in laws

⤷ georgerussell: if saying good luck is flirting, i have news for everyone.

liked by logansargeant, simonebiles, teamusa, and others...

uruser: talked about it in an interview, but i struggled with my blood pressure all day. i've been lightheaded, swollen, and exhausted, but i did it. we fought through it, and ur girl is moving to finals!!

tagged: gk, teamusa

georgerussell: incredible work today !

⤷ landonorris: rooting for the enemy i see

⤷ uruser: thank you george <3

teamusa: that's our girl!!

user: so proud of u as a fellow kidney disease survivor <3

user1: girl had a bp of 140 and still beat like everyone. my fucking queen.

alexalbon: ez work queen get back to training

uruser: yessir

lilymhe: get ur meds and take it easy!! love uuu see u for dinner <3

landonorris: u make it look easy

uruser: trust. its so hard.

simonebiles: i dont know how you do it. ur so amazing.

⤷ uruser: coming from the goat herself ?!!!!

liked by uruser, susiewolff, alexalbon, and others...

georgerussell: left it all out on the track today. absolutely honored to do this a second time so soon.

tagged: mercedesamg, f1, barcelonagp

uruser: YAAAA GEORGIEEE!!! congrats!!!

⤷ georgerussell: thank u :)

user: GEORGE W!!!!

lewishamilton: amazing as always george. first half of the season crushed.

⤷ georgerussell: it's only up from here mate

simonebiles: the tears @ uruser shed for this win...

⤷ jordanchiles: we will finally get peace and quiet on weekends

⤷ uruser: shut up get a hobby both of you

alexalbon: incredible drive as always george

landonorris: ur so mean for not letting me pass :(

oscarpiastri: best fight of the season so far. looking forward to more.

⤷ georgerussell: hope to see you on that top step again mate

uruser: lets go george lets go george

⤷ georgerussell: my personal cheerleader <3

⤷ alexalbon: delete that heart or so help me god

liked by georgerussell, teamusa, simonebiles, and others...

uruser: this 'lazy' athlete skipped her dialysis today to win A FUCKING GOLD MEDAL!!!! YAAAAAA!!!! so so so proud of my girls for the team effort put together for this all around win. you are the greatest. (yes lily and alex, i am doing dialysis now.)

tagged: simonebiles, teamusa, jordanchile and others...

georgerussell: congratulations but please do your dialysis before alex finds out

⤷ uruser: its alright love, im all hooked up and dilating or whatever. thanks for the support as always russell <3

⤷ georgerussell: wow, no georgie?

⤷ uruser: gonna pout over it, honey?

⤷ user: is this not flirting?

alexalbon: YN. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

user: SHE SKIPPED HER DIALYSIS FOR FLOOR??

⤷ user1: and they wouldn't move the schedule around her LIFE SAVING MEDICAL APPOINTMENT?

⤷ user2: no wonder the teamusa physicians grabbed her so quickly after the medal ceremony :(

alexalbon: DIALYSIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. IM GOING TO HIT WHOEVER SAID YOU COULDN'T DO IT.

⤷ uruser: IM DOING MY DIALYSIS RIGHT NOW WHY ARE YOU MORE STRESSED THAN LILY??

⤷ alexalbon: because YOU'RE A BABY

⤷ uruser: YOU ARE NOT THAT MUCH OLDER THAN ME FUCKER

lilymhe: alex is pacing but GREAT JOB BABYYYY YAAAYAYAYA SO PROUD OF UUU

user3: fire whoever had her SKIP MEDICAL TREATMENT.

liked by snoopdogg, usagymnastics, georgerussell, and more...

uruser: bronzed. sharing that podium with rebecca and simone is such an honor. up and up we go!! <3

tagged: simonebiles, teamusa, rebeccaandrade and more..

georgerussell: very deserved, as always

⤷ uruser: i swear ur obsessed w me (its ok just dont tell alex)

⤷ alexalbon: i'm starting to think none of you understand the concept of public comments

user: WELL DESERVED!!!

rebeccaandrade: você foi incrível!

⤷ uruser: obrigado! você também! (i hope thats right!)

⤷ user: YN LEARNING PORTUGUESE TO SPEAK WITH REBECCA HAS MY WHOOOLLLEEE HEARTTTT

landonorris: shiny !

logansargeant: AMERICAAA!!!!

⤷ uruser: RAAAHHH

liked by georgerussell, rebeccaandrade, lewishamilton, and others...

uruser: GOLD in beam. and y'all know how much beam and i fight. there are no amount of words to express the joy im feeling. wow. thanks to my lovely brit @ georgerussell for the support for his girlie across the pond <3

tagged: georgerussell, parisolympics, teamusa, and others...

alexalbon: i am so.

alexalbon: what the fuck?

⤷ user: LMAOOO

lilymhe: YAY!!! MY BABY DID ITTT!!! I UGLY SOBBEDDD AHAHA LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABES DINNER ON ME TNNN!!!

user1: george!!!!!! GEOOORRRGEEE!!

alexalbon: GEORGE???

⤷ uruser: was me liking mercedes a weird amount not enough of a hint for you?

georgerussell: so proud of you sunshine <3

⤷ uruser: love u georgie

⤷ landonorris: gross get a room (jk. very proud george got a girl just as talented as himself)

⤷ georgerussell: wow a rare lando compliment. i will cherish it for years to come.

⤷ landonorris: fuck you im never complimenting you again

lewishamilton: congratulations!! hope to see you in the paddocks soon in some merc gear this time

⤷ mercedesamg: oh we can handle that

⤷ williamsracing: you can pry yn from our cold dead hands

⤷ mercedesamg: babes. im gonna hold your hand when i say this williams, you've lost in the public eye after ur stunt with logan. we win yn in the divorce.

⤷ uruser: YEAH IM ON LOGANS SIDE DAMNIT!!! AMERICANS STICK TOGETHER!!

⤷ logansargeant: true patriot right here

georgerussell: still in AWE of my gf being a TWO TIME OLYMPIC AA GOLD MEDALIST

⤷ uruser: my boyfriend is a FORMULA ONE DRIVER. how fucking cool is that!???

⤷ georgerussell: cool enough for you to go to dinner with me?

⤷ uruser: always

⤷ lilymhe: they grow up so fast

alexalbon: GEORGE WILLIAM RUSSELL?

tag list for all works (open!)

@d3kstar (i hope ur tag works this time lovely!)

[fagcrisis]

going outside to do literally anything when ur disabled is like ur taking the one ring to mordor for fucking real.

do i have my meds secure enough in my pocket do i take snacks in case my blood pressure drops and they dont have anything gluten free do i take my cane on one hand i can barely walk right now on the other hand my wrist hurts and my cane would make it worse. what is the weather like i cant overheat bc ill faint but i also dont want to catch a cold. do i have the wizard on speed dial in case anything goes wrong

its like im preparing for some arduous journey to hell and back and the whole time im going to a bar with my friends thats twenty minutes away

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

Hey!! I got put on heart meds too!! They put me on a beta-blocker that is known for being one of the worst for causing hallucinations!!! And a bunch of other shit!!

I was already having hallucinations!!

No one told me about that shit!! Wasn’t even in the info packet!!! And I went through that thing TWICE!! Found out the hard way when stuff started getting a lot more fucking vivid!!

I feel like that’s a pretty important thing to mention!! But fuck it!! No one ever does!!! And now I can’t even stop them without risking my heart getting worse!! Wish I would’ve known this shit before starting them!!

(Anyway if you need me to resend that ask abt Izayas parents I totally can since I still have it in my notes) (since tumblr loves to delete anons like that at random)

(also sorry for the rant - I’m just mad cuz I had a super vivid one the other day and tore my room apart & almost slept in the living room over it lol)

- 💛

WHAT THE FUUCK!!!!!!!!!!! id say make an appointment with ur cardiologist like Right Fucking Now but iirc you lived reaaaally far from the office didnt u?

WH. WHICH BETA BLOCKER IS IT so i can Not Take It or at least be very careful bc i dont hallucinate BUT i do have delusions

im on propanolol 😩 i Also cannot risk not taking mine bc my blood pressure shoots up so high it makes my chest super tight and painful and i get dizzy and yeah Its Bad if i miss a dose!!

also i have ur ask!!! i read it from time to time :)) ive accepted it into my personal belief system wholeheartedly and i think its one of those things that like, isnt canon but treating it AS canon really elevates the themes of durarara (like izaya having aspd shhhhhh)

[heartfucksmouth]

not to sound like a broken record cliché, but motherhood is truly the most difficult and beautiful thing I've ever experienced.

I'm constantly fascinated by my child, I can't get enough of kissing his face and head and smelling his scent, holding his tiny hands or massaging his little toes. I'm in love with his bright curious eyes and the glimpse of a smile passing over his face.

and I'm also overwhelmed and frustrated when he cries for hours and won't sleep for more than 20 minutes all night. I'm terrified when he suddenly spits up so much formula it comes out his nose and he can't breathe for the longest 10 seconds of my life. I'm anxious when he isn't near me, and I get waves of distrust washing over me whenever someone else is caring for him so I can sleep. I have moments where I question what I've done, whether I've ruined my life - or his, I search my mind for ways of escaping and I scare myself with scenarios of grandparents taking custody of him bc I'm unfit. I make myself cry picturing Myles trying to raise him by himself without me.

6 weeks post partum. 1 month and 11 days. I'm finally asking for my meds to be adjusted bc I feel I'm barreling head first into PPD/PPA and my high blood pressure is back. I just got a new therapist that also is a parent by my request, and she called me today bc she wanted to check on me. my mom has been here most days to let me catch up on sleep, but she talks about her life and freezes when I have moments of anxiety and actually look to her supposed parenting experience for comfort and help. it wounds me deep. and myles mom takes Aidan for hours at a time, so I can sleep or shower or eat dinner with myles, but its not always to my liking because I fear she'll hold it over our heads someday - or she secretly thinks we're incapable of being parents. I get help with Aidan every day (while others do it all by themselves) and yet I feel so alone and like no one will come to my rescue when i need it. all the offers of help during my pregnancy seem to have disappeared. I wish friends would offer to come instead of the mothers I have relationship issues with. but then... who are my friends, really? my therapist says how I'm lucky I have all this support but it feels like a gut punch and I need to tell her next time that I don't feel like I have support at all. when I go into panic attacks, I message multiple people reaching out, asking for encouragement, for validation from other parents. but I don't have anyone checking in on me or offering to get together or even offering to help in a physically present way. besides my damn mom. my therapist and psych nurse are like "I'm always here for you, reach out" but they don't mean "text me at 3am if you're having a hard time" - they mean "call my extension and leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can"

the pendulum of my emotions is swinging so wildly and I just want some balance. I keep getting told everything I'm experiencing is normal, but if that's the case, there's something very fucking wrong with the way we treat motherhood, pregnancy, all of it (and there is).

I hope a med adjustment will help me, and I'm trying to reach out and build a village of my own. everyone talks about mental health, and recently PPD etc but everyone is burnt out and dealing with their own overwhelm and everyone is a breath away from a crisis. it all just feels crazy. I want to feel hopeful again. I want to feel like the world isn't on fire.

[freakurodani]

god i feel so dumb, i was given a packet that had all the side effects and stuff that my meds were for and i read it before i was discharged but i guess i promptly forgot bc im someone who forgets things (also i saw that like three of them had impotence as a side effect and i needed to message ppl a joke i had), but i was going through it again looking for the med im not supposed to take when my blood pressure is low (or ill faint again) and fuckin, i guess i forgot that confusion is literally a side effect of some of them (im on 6 in total) and ive been SO HARD on myself because thinking has been just SO MUCH HARDER and its AUGH!!!!! its not me its the fuckin meds im IWHWKAJAMS

[mousemilf]

riley lore:

u have stimulant problem

you can’t stand downers (or maybe you haven’t tried them from being off put) (also same i couldn’t even handle being on pain meds after surgery because they slowed me down so much)

while i do not know if you have a golden retriever boyfriend, your boyfriend does hold the same place in your heart a golden retriever boyfriend would hold. (my fiancé is NOT a golden retriever boyfriend but i treat him like one, u say very similar things to thoughts i have about my fiancé)

u have a degree in painting but don’t like being an art teacher because it’s more bureaucracy than creating or teaching

u know with your whole heart body hair is hot

u have low blood pressure problems

u r absurdly small

all true except i do NOT currently have a stimulant problem ive been normalpilled for nearly a year atm :-) but yeas..... my blood pressure is actually usually justtttt barely within normal ranges it basically just prevents me from taking my meds bcs they push me over the line into the dizzy sleepy range.... so i have to just rawdog the raynaud syndrome. its naud or nod. for me

[spoonieboy]

cw: mental hospital, mistreatment, brief suicide mention

every once in awhile i think about when i was in the grippy sock center. they gave me prozac one of the mornings and by the time we went out to the courtyard, it was already impacting me. I looked up at the 3 story roofline, spotted an access door i hadn't noticed before, and immediately caught myself wondering how to get up there so i could jump. this was a new feeling, tho the nuance is hard to describe. i also had a sudden increase in agitation and couldn't control myself. didn't help that they sent a girl home who explicitly told us she wasn't ready & she'd end it if they sent her back. and they still sent her home. I couldn't contain my anger and went to the bedroom, flipped the mattress against the wall, and beat it until i was a sobbing mess on the bare bed frame.

my 'tantrum' earned me a visit with the head doc to discuss my behavior. I told them I couldn't take it again tomorrow, that i hated how i felt and they told me that that was impossible - that it was all in my head. (to a fucking mental health patient!!!) 💀 So i tried to explain that i metabolize meds faster than most but she cut me off, told me i was lying, and that i couldn't POSSIBLY feel the effects of the meds for at least 2 weeks. i tried to have calm words but had a meltdown instead. i don't remeber what happened afterwards.

next morning, i flat out refused the meds. luckily it was my favorite nurse and when she pushed a lil to try and encourage me to take it, i broke down crying, told her what happened, and she stopped. She took the meds back and seemingly had words with the prescribing doc bc i had a new med to try a short while later in the day.

lo & behold, i have eds! meds process Hella fast for me. its almost like thats a thing! 🤔 surprise, surprise!

i just wanna go back & give that lady a proper bitch slap and a stern talking to, frankly. i cannot fathom how someone so rude & callous was supposed to be in charge of all these broken kids. i, at 14, voluntarily checked myself into a mental hospital because i was ready to end my life. thats not the sort of situation where you talk down to, insult, and berate someone!! you treat them with gentle compassion and kindness! like they fucking need!!!!!

ugh.

the only things i'm grateful for in that time were the two therapy dogs, occupational therapy, art therapy, the math teacher who was so kind, gentle, and understanding - and the fact that they ended up taking 12 vials of blood to discover that my entire ass thyroid had completely dumped itself. i ended up needing levo for 2 years afterwards.

abt that math teacher, i was so defensive bc i was really struggling with math at the time and had never been treated at my own pace before, but this guy was nothing but sweet, patient, and encouraging. he didn't make fun of me for what i didn't know, didn't pressure me to go faster, just celebrated what i did manage to accomplish and gently helped me through the items i was struggling with. when i couldn't bring myself to do the math, he let me tidy up & organize his classroom, which was relaxing for me. that guy was a Prime example of the type of person who should be working there. math, in that short time, became somewhere i wanted to linger rather than run from because i felt safe there. thank you, mr. math teach. i wish i remembered your name. i appreciate you more than you know.

anyways, if you've read this far, why? honestly? lol. but idk, thank you for letting me share. writing this down helped me let go of some of those angry feelings i've been holding onto about it.

if you need to go to a mental hospital in VA, try to avoid the richmond one 💀 thats all i'll say.

[zsuuv139]

rare original content time! and its gonna be me venting

cw: weight "management", weight loss and gain, gynecological issues, doctors, the rona

so either this story starts in my childhood: i've always been a fat girl and have recently discovered that it was basically eating for attention, positive or negative, since i also was a glass child.

or this story starts 3 years ago, with the pandemic. where i gained even more weight. but i also met this guy and he and another friend somewhat motivated me to lose a lot of weight (that i was really happy with and i felt better in my body, happier overall due to exercise). and then last february (2022) not only did i hook up with a guy, i also got myself a nice little BV out of it. and ofc the rona. after the rona cleared up, i went to a gyno who also did an ultrasound and found a cyst. i felt my life implode - i had only heard bad stuff about ovarian cysts.

they told me to not do intense workouts and put me on hormonal birth control. i could barely stand on my 2 legs. and i was depressed as hell. gained a lot of it back. got off the birth control because suddenly the cyst was not on my ovary anymore but somehow adjacent to it and hormones dont help anymore. still couldn't work out.

am also supposed to get an mri that either has a 6 month waitlist or a 100+ usd cost - my monthly pay is about 1k usd so i kinda cant afford it.

i recently took steps toward getting the mri - another gyno visit. now i also have a polycystic ovary (just one of the 2. hormone levels still ok - not pcos).

im also currently getting fired/ laid off and at the time of that appointment, i had just found out and was already exhausted because of multiple failed applications. i was certain that the layoff would happen and was looking and interviewing but got no offers.

when i tried to explain my health situation to my doctor, i ended up crying. she was patient, gave me some paper towels to wipe my face and explained how the procedures were gonna go. i liked the experience overall.

i also gained all the weight i had lost back.

docs want to investigate possible insulin resistance - i got my blood drawn and since then i have a bruise where i was stuck. this has not happened ever before, and i did used to get blood tests for a thyroid issue. im now wondering if this is bc im fat.

went to an endocrinologist - thyroid levels not optimal, and potential insulin resistance that i was hoping they could advise me on.

she calls my name. "how's it going with the weight loss?" i remark that not well.

"do you have endometriosis?"

"im not sure. afaik it needs surgery to be diagnosed and i havent had any surgery in that area. but my periods do hurt like hell and get kinda plentiful, so it wouldnt be a shock."

first few questions go normal, i know my meds, doses, diagnoses. she starts talking about weight loss. i just take it in an "ok im not coming back to her" way. then she starts asking about the cyst. i tell her what i know. she asks "but what does the mri say?" "dunno, they have a 6 month waitlist" "and youre not willing to pay for an emergency?"

now, in her pov, this random fat woman starts crying.

in my pov, all my job hunt stress and worries bubble up - im crying as im typing this ffs, and i do have a job offer currently! i recall how, if i qwere to go on unemployment, i would be eligible for 120 usd a month - i couldn't even pay rent with that! i recall how our transfer within the company was treated - we were told there would be opportunities and we will have to apply, then we applied, got little feedback, and as the other project's start date approached, they started pressuring us (most specifically, me) to do our tests asap and i was literally given 20 minutes on the end of a workweek to decide if i wanted to start on the other project on monday. did not go well.

so i just ended up crying - and angry at myself, since earlier i would just be angry if anything happens, and i was used to working with anger, but i dont know how to deal with crying.

she may have acknowledged that i was crying, saying she knows this situation is not easy but i should do everything to get out of it (no shit).

then, sobbing, i explained that the gyno did not say the mri would be urgent, and she did acknowledge the long waitlist.

doctor goes back to weight loss / eating habits. do i eat dairy? dairy is like fertilizer for the cysts, she says. "i don't drink cows milk. i do like yogurts and cheeses tho." "no, you cannot eat cheese".

what the actual fuck is happening?

she asks me to lay down for an ultrasound of my thyroid (to make sure its all good). i explain that its left side was taken out and on the right, there seems to be just a tiny little lump, and im kinda curious if it grew. should i take off my shirt? nah, just pull the neckline apart.

i would have rather taken it off but k.

she acknowledges that the left lobe is indeed not there, and goes to town with the ultrasound ot see whats up on the remaining right half. kinda hurts but whatever. lets just get this over with.

"how much do ypu weigh?"

"honestly, too much rn"

"100 kg?"

"uhm... [i am above that so i say 5 kg less]"

...

"why did they leave the right lobe?"

fuck knows, lady, it was 10 years ago and im not a doctor. i was an entire child, do you think anyone cared to explain the medical decisions? do you think i understood?

"the theory was that they were hoping it would work at least on its own or that it would make up for the left part"

"well that isnt happening"

"i have noticed. but idk if taking it out now would do any good."

"nah"

tells me i can wipe off the gel and calls me back to her desk while she writes up her report.

tells me that i need a nutritionist for the insulin resistance and refers me to a colleague. then gets back on weight loss.

"the small blob on your thyroid would go away if you managed to lose the weight"

"also don't eat bread. don't have more than 2 slices a day" "i already don't eat bread" "then stop eating pasta."

gurl idk how to tell you but pasta and cheese are the only joy left in my life.

"but you have to go to a specialist. no one can do this alone"

idk how to tell you but im not _paying_ for someone to yell at me to lose weight... i know a lot about diets, nutrition, how a meal should look like, calories, intermittent fasting (btw, have you ever had an endocrinologist recommend intermittent fasting? i heard it was bad for your hormones lol), and i don't want to give like 70 usd for a "specialist" to potentially tell me nothing new. is this arrogant? yes. but again im not rich.

is it cheaper than whatever i would need to do if my body continues to deteriorate? idk. i would have to put it on my goddamn credit card tho.

and then i look on the paper she gave me.

she wrote "emotionally-pshychologically unstable" as a symptom. fuck off the entire way.

i left her office. i cried. i cried some more. i complained to my friends. almost lost it when i couldn't attach a lid on an iced coffee and it spilled on me. i didn't tell my parents because i do not trust them with questions regarding my mental health.

and i read her note about our meet again.

she wrote

"antecedent: right lobectomy.

currently right lobe micronodule"

so that's how doctors listen to fat people.

[marvelingjules]

Thanks y’all for the well-wishes and support. I’ll talk about what happened under the cut but the short of it is she was in a very bad car accident.

So we don’t have much on the accident itself - just that it was only her, and it sounds like maybe she went off the road and hit a pole or something. Car is totaled.

She’s in the ICU and will be for at least a few days. She’s still critical but she is stable.

The most major and concerning of her injuries was that she had bleeding in her abdomen, from a perforated intestine and also her diaphragm had something up with it. The cut out the parts that didn’t look good, and will “attach” them again tomorrow, if all looks well. The first surgery for it went well, and they don’t foresee any long term issues.

She has a broken wrist, and broken ankles (edit: just the right one!), and maybe a shin bone too. (Edit: Actually it was small foot fractures and possible hip and pelvis fractures.)

Fractures in her neck and a small brain bleed, but they’re not too worried about it; they’re keeping an eye on it and she’s in a neck brace, but they expect it to heal well on its own.

She might also have some fractured or broken ribs. They were waiting to see if those would need surgery or not.

They had her on pain meds and sedated. She’s intubated and will be for a few days possibly but they don’t think it’ll be for too long. (Depends a bit on the ribs.)

She had blood transition and had very low blood pressure when she came in, but she was awake at the time and able to tell them her name.

While my dad and I were there… she opened her eyes. Twice. She responded to the nurses, could squeeze with both hands, and shook her head no when they told her it was okay, and also when I told her it would be okay.

Which was almost funny. Dad and I were trying to reassure her the first time after the nurse checked on her and was getting stuff, and we said “just relax, it’s going to be okay” or the like and she shook her head, and I said “yes, it is, so just try to stay calm.” Then when she seemed still agitated I went to stand at her side, closer to her head. Her eyes were shut but… it did seem to help calm her down. And the second time, when the nurses were having to keep trying to calm her down, dad and I both spoke up about how we were there and it was going to be okay. “Just let them take care of you” I said, and she called again.

I doubt she’s going to remember any of that; not sure I want her to bc her abdomen wasn’t actually fully shut since they’re going back in tomorrow.

But. Yeah. She has a long and rough road of recovery ahead. But the nurses and doctor sounded like they fully believed she’d come out the other end okay, and I’m going to cling to that.

(The reason we didn’t get notified for so long was that the EMTs - rightfully - were focused on getting her out, which we were told they had a hard time doing, and that it took them “a while” to do. They didn’t get her purse or phone, and so didn’t have any contact info on hand for her. They eventually found my dad’s name and number connected to her online somewhere. Never thought I’d be glad about personal info being able to be found by random people online like that but here we are.)

Older Sis is going to handle talking with the CHP officer tomorrow. Dad’s going to call family. I offered to help but he seemed to feel that was his job. I already called my supe to inform her that I would likely not be in tomorrow (haven’t decided if I might try a half day or not) and that my mom wouldn’t be and I’d update her tomorrow. She’s passing it along to my mom’s supervisor. I cancelled our reservation for next week’s trip. I called little sis and updated her.

There’s so much to still do and figure out and neither dad nor I are sure we’ll manage to sleep much tonight. But we’ll be back in the morning. I’ve got my therapy appointment in the morning; thought of cancelling but then thought I might need someone to not have to Be Strong and Steady for and to help work through this mess with.

I’m trying not to think about the bills and sudden loss of income and a thousand other things. I keep reminding myself: one step at a time. Right now, try to get some sleep or at least rest. Tomorrow, therapy and more phone calls, then visiting.

So I’m a bit worried and my dad is kinda losing his mind. It’s three hours after Mom got off work, a little over 2 since she would have gotten home, and she’s not here. She’s not answering phone calls or texts from either of us.

I’m trying to remain rational/optimistic in that she probably went to do some grocery shopping or something after work and either isn’t hearing her phone or left it at work - both things she has done before!

Dad insists this isn’t like her, and he’s all but pacing in and out onto the porch worrying.

So. Unpleasant night in the Jules’ home.

(Oh, and dad accidentally let the youngest cat out. So. Need to fetch her mischievous ass back inside too.)

[natandacat]

Sorry for being disabled on main lately but the grief is really hitting me full force what with the final diagnoses I got on Wednesday. This is for life, this is going to lower my life expectancy, this means getting covid again will likely kill me or leave me bed ridden, especially now that I'm on a heart medication that lowers my immune response even though I have ground to suspect that my immune system was already bad in the first place, and also it can mask infections so now there is the fear that if i get covid again it will be hidden for too long to treat it fast enough with the new medication available (that I will need to beg for at a hospital). Going back to university is such a joy but also. Might be a death sentence if I'm realistic about the contamination risks now that my university is refusing to offer online alternatives. Someone at the hotline I volunteer at got covid, and it's the one person who is supervising me so I'm always with her. What if she had gotten it when I was there. I'm used to accepting the possibility of death, sadly, but this is the one time where there's nothing I can do to escape my situation. I can't change public policies. I can't change public opinions and attitudes. I can't solve ableism on my own and there's not enough time to do the work before I'm faced with covid again. Is this how people felt during the aids epidemic.

[vampyrluver]

Turns out i forgot to take my medication nd body did not like tht

[lemongogo]

can my brain just . Stop overthinking for once like dang

[lesbianswarm]

[takes handful of meds] if i die i die

[theirtheretheyre]

adhd meds that work long term wya