#bc I am not wasting it but I also know damn well I will not eat it if I let it get soggy in the fridge

[housewifebuck]

is letting your sandwich get soggy in the fridge overnight a taboo or something??? as a girl who has made her own lunch since age seven SOME of us were eating soggy mustard ham sandwiches and an apple for lunch every day until we were 15. i support eddie diaz and his soggy sandwich agenda

I fear I may have let my autism show with that post sorry guys

[javierpena-inatacvest]

You Make Loving Fun

Summary: You buy tickets to Fleetwood Mac for Javi's birthday. After a few drinks, Javi ends up having a little more fun than he intended.

Pairing: Husband!Javier Peña x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before you tap) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, paise kink, creampie, aftercare, implied? breeding kink (I think it's illegal for me to write if this isn't in the warnings somewhere) drinking alcohol, Javi gets absolutely HAMMERED, talks of having more kids and stopping birth control, Drunk Javi wants to tell anyone and everyone how much he loves his wife, Drunk Javi being sweet and happy and so in love because that's what he deserves

A/N: If you're anything like me, you've spent WAY too long looking at all of these photos of sweet Pedro at a concert, and of course, my brain automatically went "THAT'S JAVI GETTING WASTED AND HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE" and now, here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like Javi would be a very happy/affectionate drunk post-Colombia bc he is so happy just to be having fun and enjoying his life and that makes me ✨emotional✨ Also, thanks @itsokbbygrl for ruining my life by realizing the ring Pedro is wearing in this picture is on his RING FINGER?!?! 😩

Can be read as a standalone or as a part of the Never Too Late Series!

“I feel to fucking old to be doing this.”

“To do what? Go to a concert? I hate to break it to you, Jav, but there are, in fact, no age limits at concerts. What, are you worried security is gonna try to kick you out for being too old?” You giggled, looking over at Javi next to you in the bathroom, finishing fixing his hair and adjusting his shirt. 

“I know, I just haven’t been to a concert in so damn long. Definitely not since we’ve had the girls.” Javi sighed, running his hand through the dark curls of his hair once more before turning to face you, still finishing up the last of your makeup in the mirror. 

Although you had intended for your Fleetwood Mac tickets to be a surprise for Javi’s birthday, trying to coordinate around your schedules and 3 little girls had made spontaneous date nights much more challenging than they used to be when you first met. But, with Chucho needing no incentive to babysit his granddaughters, you and Javi were excited to have a night out just the two of you, getting to enjoy your favorite band together, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate another year of Javi getting older. 

“Well then lucky for you, you’ll be the hottest dad at the concert.” You smirked, sassily tilting your head towards him to prove your point, your reaction just enough to snap him out of his self doubt, Javi joining in on the laughter as he stood behind you, grabbing your waist and placing a soft kiss on the bare skin of your shoulder next to the strap of your sundress. 

“Good thing I’ve got a fucking hot MILF of a wife to go with me then, huh?” Javi grinned, the kiss he had left on your shoulder now slowly starting to creep up your neck and collarbone as his hand reached down to grab a handful of your ass, making you squeal in surprise. “I know you picked this dress out on purpose because you know it drives me fucking crazy. God, you look good.” 

“Javi! You better stop or we’re gonna be late to dinner before the show!” You scolded, giving him a playful jab to his stomach, only making him tighten the grip on your ass even firmer with his other hand coming to join his first. 

“Hermosa,” He cooed, gently turning you around to take the mascara you had in your hand and set it on the counter before cradling your jaw in his palm, forcing your gaze up at him, “I know you. And you and I both know damn well you at least put enough a little buffer time into our plans for us to have sex before we left. Am I wrong?” 

Well, he caught you there, because he most certainly was not. 

“Maybe…” You replied sheepishly, overdramatically rolling your eyes at his statement, only making his boyish grin spread wider between his cheeks, “Okay, but seriously though, we do have to be quick, because I don’t want to- Ah! Javi!” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little shriek of surprise as Javi suddenly lifted you up, setting you down on the bathroom counter and caging your body under his, his arms planted on either side of your hips as his mouth crashed into yours, tongues and teeth dancing in a hungry and desperate clash. 

“I promise I won’t take too long. But I can’t help myself when you look this good, mi amor. Eres tan hermosa (You’re so beautiful). You’re gonna kill me in that dress, Momma.” Javi hummed, his hands now gripping the meat of your thighs and sliding down your legs to bunch up the skirt of your dress, hiking it up as he sank down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter. 

You could already feel the damp patch that had begun to grow in your underwear as Javi hooked his fingers around the elastic of its waistband, tugging the fabric down your legs and letting it fall to the bathroom floor, revealing your pussy, already wet and aching for him. 

Javi settled himself between your legs, draping them over his shoulders as his fingers slid through your folds, collecting your juices before beginning to circle at your clit with the pads of his fingers, peppering kisses along the inside of your thighs as you whimpered in delight. 

“J-Javi, please, baby.” You moaned, fingers tightening around the edge of the countertop as his thumb replaced his fingers on your clit, his middle and ring finger dipping inside your already weeping core, curling just slightly as he began to pump them in and out of you. 

It wasn’t long before his thumb was replaced by his mouth, the flat of his tongue licking a broad strip across your cunt, the new sensation sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. No matter how many times Javi had gone down on you, it never failed to surprise you how goddamn good he was at it, memorizing every twitch and gasp that made you fall apart in the best way possible, and tonight was no exception. 

His slow, long strokes began to quicken, circling his tongue around your clit with the perfect amount of pressure as his fingers worked in tandem, curving in just the right place to press against your g-spot and begin to build the arousal swirling in your core. 

As much as you (and Javi, for that matter), would have loved to have taken your time and let him eat you out on the bathroom counter for hours, the both of you knew you were on a time crunch, but not enough of a crunch to stop Javi from making you cum at least once before he fucked you. 

The pressure of his tongue on your sensitive nub became more and more, before latching his lips to suck at your clit, your cunt clenching in anticipation around his fingers as you writhed beneath his touch, moaning his name as you felt your orgasm begin to build. 

You couldn’t help but let your hand shoot down to his head, your fingers burying themselves in his thick, brown locks, with absolutely no regard for the time he had just spent fixing his hair in the mirror just a few minutes ago.  

“Javi… Oh, shit. Fuck, more baby, please. P-please, I’m so close.” You moaned, looking down at Javi with what you were already sure was a wrecked expression painted across your face. 

You could practically feel Javi’s smug smirk pressed against your cunt before pulling away to respond. “Give it to me, pretty girl. Wanna taste you all over me when you soak my face.”

Before you could reply, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt, each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and your heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happen.

Fuck, Javi. Fuck, I- fuck- I’m gonna, I’m gonna-ahhhhhh.” You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips. 

”That’s it, baby girl. Fuck, you’re so perfect. Love this pussy so fucking much.” He groaned, reaching down to frantically undo his belt buckle, his fingers working rapidly to undo the metal clasp before pushing his pants and boxers down his legs, letting them pool in a pile around his ankles. 

Still coming down from your high, your breath hitched as the tip of Javi’s cock ran through your folds, coating his length in your arousal before slipping inside you. You couldn’t help but gasp even harder at the new sensation of his fullness inside you, cockhead already kissing your cervix as his hips flushed with yours. 

Javi’s hands began to wander up your legs, pushing your dress up your thighs until he got to your hips, digging his fingertips in the soft fabric as he thrust in and out of you, mouths melding together as one. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, Hermosa. So fucking wet for me, taking me so well.” Javi moaned, nipping at your ear as his pace became faster, fucking into you in the spot he knew made you lose all control, silently smirking at the pathetic whimpers that were escaping your lips. 

Javi buried his face in the crook of your neck as your legs began to instinctively lock around the small of his back, bringing him closer to you with each thrust. You could already feel that all too familiar tingle building at the base of your spine once again, wanting to feel every inch of him you could deeper and deeper inside you before you came. 

With the way the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, you knew you didn’t have much longer until your orgasm was about to crash though you, finding yourself grasping fistfuls of Javi’s shirt for dear life as you mumbled incoherently. 

”O-oh shit, Javi. Fuck, F-fuck, don’t stop baby. Please, don’t stop.” 

You could practically hear the hum of satisfaction deep in Javi’s chest feeling your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, his firm grasp of his hands on your hips holding you in place on the counter as he pounded into you. 

”C’mon Osita. Cum all over me. Give it to me and I swear I’m gonna fuck you so full of me, I’ll be dripping out of you all night.” 

“Yes, fuckfuckfuck, please, Javi.” 

“Is that what you want? You gotta be a good girl and cum for me first, baby.” 

That was all it took for you to break before you could feel a wave of pleasure rushing through your body, euphoria running through your veins as you came, crying out Javi’s name like a prayer as he started to chase his own high. His thrusts became frantic and sloppy, his brows furrowing in focus to hold out just a little longer until your body melted into his in your blissed out state. 

“That’s it, hermosa. I love you so much. I- oh shit- I’m close, too. F-fuck, I’m gonna fill this tight little pussy so full of me that it- oh fuckkkkkkkk.” With a few more pumps, a moan escaped from Javi’s parted lips as he came, spilling himself deep inside your walls. The warm mix of his spend and your arousal dripped out of you as his cock softened, whimpering at the loss as he pulled out, but catching your muffled moans in his mouth as his lips met yours, cradling your face in his palm. 

Through your heavy breaths from heaving chests, you and Javi both couldn’t help but smile and laugh to yourselves as your foreheads rested against each other, quietly whispering “I love you” to each other in sync, your bodies slumped together in a blissed out heap on the bathroom counter. 

”Fuck, you’re so hot. I’ll never get over it.” Javi smirked, biting down on his lip after giving you another quick kiss, rummaging through your bathroom cabinets to pull out a washcloth to clean you up with.

”Takes one to know one, Peña.” You giggled, letting out a content sigh as you let your head fall back, closing your eyes for a moment before looking over your shoulder to see Javi, and behind Javi, the clock that you both had very much not been paying attention to in the midst of your antics.

”Oh fuck…” 

“Already did that, mi amor,” Javi teased, running the washcloth under the warm water of the sink, “What’s wrong?”

Without saying a word, you gestured to the clock hanging on the bathroom wall with a defeated shrug, Javi turning around with a quiet laugh to himself, shrugging his shoulders right along with you. 

“You’d think after how long we’ve been together we’d start giving ourselves even more time than we think to leave for things, huh?” 

“You would think, huh?” You giggled, accepting defeat that the two of you would most definitely not be making it to your dinner reservations that you had planned before the concert. “Sorry, Jav.”

 “What do you have to be sorry about, cariño? Fuck, I get to have amazing sex with my beautiful wife before we go see our favorite band, what a horrible birthday night so far.” Javi teased, giving you a reassuring nudge that you had nothing to apologize for. “I think the real question is…” 

”Is what, Mr. Sarcasm?” 

“What size fries do you want with your McDonald’s Coke and McNuggets for dinner?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say we should get McDonald’s for dinner?!” 

“Because Osita, I swear I know you better than I know myself.” 

After some quick touch ups and a call to Chucho to say goodnight to your daughters before you left, you and Javi were on the road, happily enjoying your McDonald’s and taking turns picking your favorite Fleetwood Mac songs to jam out to, spending your ride debating what songs they’d play, reminiscing about the songs you loved, and singing at the top of your lungs, to the point you were positive you would have no voice tomorrow. 

While you hadn’t been able to keep the concert itself a secret, the one thing you had been able to hide from your husband was the fact that you had managed to get not just good, but great seats for the show. If Javi had known how much you’d spent for him on his birthday, he would have insisted on finding cheaper tickets, but if there was anyone who was deserving of getting to see his favorite band from an incredible view, it was him. 

From the moment the two of you had entered the venue, you had your tickets peeled to your chest to keep them from Javi, reassuring him that you knew where you were going, much to his dismay and insisting that working together would help you find your seats quicker. 

After a few minutes of wandering and secretly maneuvering to the right section of the stadium, you had finally found where you belonged, excitedly pulling Javi along behind you towards your seats.

“Baby, not that I don’t trust your navigation skills, but I feel like we’re down way too far in the stands. ” Javi questioned, his hand in yours as you dragged him through the crowd, looking back and forth between your ticket stub and the stadium rows to find your spots. 

“Not to burst your bubble, Jav, but my navigation skills are as on point as they ever have been.” You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest before handing him over your tickets, his face stunned and in shock as he read the small stubs of card stock, realizing you had absolutely led the both of you to the right place. 

”Happy early birthday, Javi. I know the concert itself wasn’t a surprise, but I hope that these seats are still a good one.” 

“Osita… Baby, you can’t be serious…” Javi’s jaw dropped, eyes going wide in shock, convinced you had to be joking or playing some sort of prank on him. 

“Serious as a heart attack, Jav.” 

Javi stood there speechless, tears welling in his eyes with an awestruck grin on his face, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug before peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle and squeal in delight. 

“God, I love you so much. Thank you, Hermosa. This is… fuck, this is absolutely incredible. Thank you. I don’t- this is way more than I deserve. Thank you so much.” 

Your heart swelled at the boyish grin spread across Javi’s face as he looked out at the view in front of him, knowing that if you could give your husband the world in his pocket, you would in a heartbeat, but to see his excitement over some seats at a concert would do just fine. 

“You’re so welcome, baby. You do deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone I know. You are the most amazing, wonderful husband and dad. If I could get you up there on stage with Stevie Nicks, I would, because that’s what you deserve.” 

“I think the last thing anyone needs is to hear me even attempt to sing.” 

“The girls love it when you sing to them.” 

“That’s because they don’t know any better. Give it a few more years and I’m sure they’ll be begging me to stop.” 

“What they know won’t hurt ‘em,” you laughed, giving Javi a playful shrug, “Also, the other part of this gift is that I am driving us home from the concert, so you can have as much fun as you want.” 

“Baby, you don’t have to-” 

“I can and I will,” You sassed defiantly, cutting Javi off before he could oppose your offer, “You always drive so I can have a good time, and you deserve to have time to let loose, too. So, with that being said, I am going to go get us drinks. Drunk Javi is one of my favorite Javi’s and I don’t get to see him very often. Okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks, Hermosa. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Jav. Now, what do you want to drink?” 

“Surprise me.” He laughed, giving you a quick kiss and a subtle smack on your ass as you walked past him to make your way back to the concession stand. “Drunk Javi is really one of your favorites?” 

“Absolutely. Drunk Javi loves to dance. Drunk Javi also gets very sweet and a little handsy, both of which I am more than okay with.” 

A few drinks deep and the opening bands finished, Javi, or better yet, Drunk Javi, was having the absolute time of his life. For as fun and goofy Javi was at home with you and the girls, it was few and far between that the former DEA agent found himself intoxicated out in public with a case of dancing shoes and uncontrollable giggles. 

“God, I’m having so much fun. Are you having fun, Hermosa? You’re the best wife ever, you know that?” Javi grinned, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pecked a sloppy kiss onto your cheek before taking another sip of his beer. 

“Glad to know you don’t have a secret wife who you like better than me.” You teased, giving him a little nudge and giggling at his drunken state, a little surprised when all of a sudden his face turned serious, setting down his beer to cup your jaw with his palms and forcing his gaze on his. 

“Baby, you know I would never ever do that, right? I literally love you so much. You and the girls are my whole world. I think I would rather die than be with anyone else besides you. No, I know I would rather die than be with anyone else. You are literally perfect.” Javi pleaded, his concerned, big, brown puppy dog eyes making your heart melt. 

“Yes, Mr. Dramatic, I know you would never have a secret wife, but thank you for your very adamant confirmation.” You giggled, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him another kiss, washing the worry away from the concerned furrow of his brow. “You are such a goofball. I love you so much too, Jav. I promise, I’m not going anywhere either. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I do need to go to the bathroom before Fleetwood Mac comes on, but I will be right back.” 

“Okay, mi amor. I’ll be right here when you get back.” Javi nodded adamantly, knowing in his drunken state he would be taking his job of not leaving your seats very seriously until you safely returned. 

“I know you will, Javi. I’ll be quick, okay? Need anything when I’m gone? Besides another drink?” 

“How did you know I was gonna say I needed another drink?” Javi asked in complete shock, like you had just showed him the world’s most inconceivable magic trick. 

“I’d say the almost empty bottle was a good clue.” You winked, giving his arm a little squeeze before shimmying your way through the row of seats and up the stairs to find the nearest bathroom and concession stand. 

Normally, Javi wasn’t one to strike up small talk with strangers just for the fun of it, but with his lowered inhibitions, he couldn’t help but find himself turning to the group of women seated next to him to kill the time before you came back from the bathroom. 

“Have you guys seen Fleetwood Mac before?” Javi shrugged, finishing the last bit of beer at the bottom of his bottle. 

“Yeah, we’ve seen them a few times! They’re really good live!” One of the women responded, her friends nodding in agreement. 

“I’ve seen ‘em before too, but this is my wife and I’s first time seeing them together. She got me the tickets for my birthday, but she surprised me with how good these seats were. She’s amazing.” Javi beamed, subtly nodding his head to the music playing in the background between sets. 

“Awh, that’s so sweet!” One of the other women chimed in, the three women laughing to themselves at how drunk and awestruck Javi was over you. 

“It is. I hope they play Everywhere. It’s our favorite song by them. We played it at our wedding when she walked down the aisle and I bawled like a baby. She looked so beautiful. Who am I kidding? She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Like, ever.” Javi’s grin was growing wider by the second, staring off into the distance as he rambled on about you. 

“Oh my goodness, you are so cute. She’s a lucky lady.” The women smiled, incredibly entertained by everything Javi had to say. 

“No. I’m the lucky one.” Javi responded, stone cold serious as he pointed to himself, finger poking his chest. “Have you seen her? She’s so pretty. And she married me! And on top of that, we have a family, too! Can you believe it?!” 

“With how in love with her you seem to be, I 100% can. How many kids do you have?” 

“3 daughters. Lucy is 5, Elliot just turned 3, and Harper is 7 months old.” Javi counted on his fingers, holding up 3 to represent each of his girls. “I love them so much. Being a dad is like, the most coolest thing ever. And she’s such a good mom. They’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“Hey, Chatterbox.” You laughed, gently tapping Javi on the shoulder, trying not to startle him as he turned around, beaming from ear to ear at your presence. “Here is your drink and- oh!” 

“Osita! I missed you.” Javi swallowed the rest of your sentence in his mouth with a strong kiss, pulling away to greet you with a goofy grin, followed by a confused frown. “Wait, where did you go?” 

“Oh boy, we’re gonna have to pick some Gatorade and Tylenol up on the way home, aren’t we? I was just going to the bathroom, remember? And to get you another drink, silly goose.” You giggled, holding out his beer for him. 

“Oh shit. I should probably go to the bathroom, too. Do you think I have enough time to go? I don’t wanna miss anything with you!” Javi questioned frantically, realizing he definitely had not utilized the bathroom to the extent he probably should have. 

“You should be fine, babe. The lines were pretty short, so if you hurry I’m sure you’ll be back in plenty of time.” You reassured him. 

“Phew, okay, I can go fast, no problem. I’ll be right back, hermosa.” Carefully taking back his beer as he handed it off to you, Javi quickly scrambled through the crowd to follow the path you had just returned from, leaving you laughing to yourself and shaking your head. 

“We just wanted to let you know, your husband is absolutely adorable.” One of the women furthest away from you piped up, catching your attention. 

“Oh, um, thank you?” You replied, tilting your head in confusion. 

“That man is utterly obsessed with you. I think he had more nice things to say about you in 30 seconds to a group of strangers than any of my exes ever did combined.” 

“Girl, not to mention he is handsome. You are one lucky woman. Who knew it would take a stranger in love at a Fleetwood Mac concert to once again raise the bar for men.” 

“Wow, uh, thank you. That’s really nice of you. I’m not gonna lie, he’s pretty darn great.” You blushed, trying to keep your smile from spreading too wide at their compliments for Javi over his affection for you. 

“Of course. We won’t bother you anymore, but figured you’d like to know that your man is still head over heels for you. Enjoy the rest of the concert!” 

“Thanks, you guys too!” You smirked, your eyes darting down towards your feet to hide the red glow of your cheeks, your heart bursting with warmth from the fact that even in his drunken state, you found yourself falling harder and harder for Javi every day. 

Suddenly, the lights around the stage began to dim, the roar of the crowd overtaking the stadium, signaling Fleetwood Mac were only moments away from taking the stage. Instinctively, you peeked your head behind you through the crowd to look for Javi, relieved when you saw his broad figure hustling down the stairs, waving at you with a goofy grin the whole way. 

"I was worried I was gonna have to come find you before the show started!” You sighed, grabbing Javi’s face and giving his cheeks a playful squeeze before giving him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Osita, you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

Any high hopes that you had for the show were surpassed, and then some. The band played all of your favorites, the both of you singing and dancing along, probably making complete fools of yourselves, but you couldn’t care less. 

You were particularly impressed with Javi’s over dramatic stomping and air drumming to “The Chain” to kick off the show, having to grab his beer to keep it from spilling all over himself several times throughout his performance. Although incredibly offbeat, Javi's enthusiasm made up for any drunken lack of rhythm throughout the song.

The both of you couldn’t help but shout along to “I Don’t Wanna Know” at the top of your lungs, painfully off key and obnoxiously loud, Javi reaching down to grab your finger, wrapping his hands around it to use as his own makeshift microphone for the entire duration of the song. 

During “Landside”, you found Javi standing behind you, chest pressed to your back and arms wrapped around you as you swayed back and forth, gently wiping your tears and choking back his own as he whispered in your ear how lucky he was to build his life around you and your girls, mumbling something about how if any of the girls get married and pick this song to do a father daughter dance to, he’d be an absolute mess. 

By the end of the concert, you and Javi were both exhausted, giving every last ounce of energy to “Go Your Own Way”, the crowd erupting with thunderous applause as the show came to a close, lights flashing and confetti exploding from the ends of the stage in an array of bright colors in the same way your heart felt like it was exploding with joy from the incredible time you had with Javi. 

Over the cheers and hollers, Javi leaned in, cupping your cheek in his palm, the other arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to his chest, capturing you in a kiss that seemed to make time stop and everyone else disappear, feeling like in that moment, no one else existed but the two of you. 

“I love you so much, Osita.” 

”I love you too, Javi.”

“Tonight was- Oh shit, hold on,” Javi paused, letting out a long, low burp, a signature Drunk Javi move, placing his hand over his chest and letting out a long sigh before speaking again, “Sorry, that felt good. Wait, what was I saying again?” 

“That you had a lot of fun. I think it’s time that we get you home, cowboy.” You couldn’t help but snort at his impressive display of flatulence, wrapping your arm around his waist as you walked with the flow of the crowd departing from the stadium, hand patting his hip in reassurance. 

It wasn’t until you began to try and travel up the stairs and through the sea of concert goers that you realized just how drunk Javi was. While wrapping your arm around his hip had started off as a sweet gesture to help guide him in the right direction to leave, you began to worry that you were going to have to try and keep him up until the two of you got to the car. 

Thankfully, your humming, happy as can be Javi made it to your parking spot, breaking free of your grasp to race to your car, tugging at the driver’s side door with profound confusion at it’s locked state. 

“Hermosa! The car is locked! How are we gonna get home if we can’t get in?” Javi fretted, tugging harder at the door handle. 

“I have the keys, baby, don’t worry.” You laughed, reaching into your purse to unlock the truck’s doors, sending Javi stumbling backwards as the driver’s side swung open from his last tug at the handle. “Also, you are on the wrong side there, pendejo. I’m driving home, remember?” 

“Oh fuck, you are! I was gonna say, I think I’m a lil drunk. I probably shouldn’t drive.” Javi grimaced, quickly scampering to the other side of the car as you unlocked it, laughing as you watched him squeeze into the passenger set that was clearly set for your stature and not his. 

“I think you might be more than just a little drunk, baby.” You corrected, clicking in your seatbelt and firing up the ignition, peeling out of your parking spot. 

“Yeah, I’m a lot a bit drunk. I’m sorry, Osita.” He pouted, slumping his face in his hand, elbow resting on the center console. 

“Jav, why on earth would you possibly be sorry?” You frowned, wondering what Javi had to apologize for. 

“I’m sorry I’m so drunk and now you have to drive me home.” 

“Baby, I’m glad that you decided to get drunk. I wanted you to have a good time! Number one, you’re always driving me home whenever I wanna have fun and number two, it’s your birthday, and you deserve to let loose and have as much fun as you want to. Don’t apologize, okay?” You smiled, gently grabbing your hand in his and giving it a little squeeze, instantly flooding his face with relief. 

“Okay. I’m sorry I talked to those ladies sitting by us earlier while you were going to the bathroom, too. I was just trying to be nice. I just wanted to tell them how excited I was to see Fleetwood Mac with you, and how beautiful and amazing and perfect you are, and that you’re the best wife ever.” 

“I know Jav, it’s okay. I didn't even think twice about it. They were very sweet, and said you had lots of nice things to say about me and the girls. It was very cute.” You smirked, lifting your interlocked hands to your lips to plant a kiss on his knuckles, giving it an even tighter squeeze of reassurance in the process. 

At this point, Javi had practically melted into the passenger seat, limbs spread out as wide as he could to try and get comfortable, tilting his head towards you with a mischievous grin and sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. 

“You know what we should do when we get home?” Javi asked, now biting down on his lip to try and subdue his smirk. 

“I don’t know Javi, what should we do?” You responded back mockingly. 

“We shoulddddddddd....” He paused, dancing in his seat in excitement.

“We shoulddddddd, what, baby?” You sighed, laughing to yourself at his drunken goofiness. 

“We shouldddddd throw away your birth control and make another baby when we get home tonight.” Now Javi was full on beaming in an ear to ear grin, raising his eyebrows at you as he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to find any way to warm you up to his intoxicated acquisition. 

“Javi! We talked about this!” You scolded, giving him a playful slap to his chest, doing nothing to wipe his stupidly wide smirk off his face. “4 kids is a lot of kids. At least one of us can have a spare hand with 3, even if we’re outnumbered. I think 3 is the magic number, babe.” 

“I knowwwww, but making babies with you is like, the best thing ever. If you asked me to list my favorite things to do, that would be number one, no question.” Javi protested, convinced that this argument alone would be enough of a selling point for you. 

“Believe me, you’re not wrong, Jav. It’s a ten out of ten pastime, but even if I stopped taking my birth control tonight, I don't think it would happen, ya goof.” 

“Crazier things have happened. Maybe we'd just get really lucky. Our daughters are so cute. I know it’s unfair to say because they’re our kids, but like, we make some cute fuckin’ babies, Hermosa. What if we made another super cute baby? Just like, one more?” At this point, Javi had broken out his signature pout and big baby cow eyes, looking at you like a stray puppy who had been kicked to the curb. 

“Another adorable baby means I’m gonna have to build up my immunity to those sweet, sad, puppy dog eyes even more, and I honestly don’t know if I’m strong enough. I don’t know how all 3 of the girls ended up with your big brown eyes, but I hope you know it’s killing me slowly because of how frickin’ cute they are.” You sighed in defeat, knowing that your willpower with 3 sets of Javi’s mini-me’s was already low enough, let alone adding a 4th pair to the mix. 

“Soooooooooo it’s a maybe?” 

“Oh my god, you are so bad, Javier Jesus Peña.” 

“That’s not a yes or a no, Osita.” 

“....Maybe. But don’t get your hopes up, okay?” 

“So we’re not not gonna make a baby tonight?” 

“Javi, I love you, baby, but with how much you’ve had to drink, I don’t think nature is going to give you enough grace to even let that possibility play out.” You snorted, gesturing down to his crotch, making him roll his eyes. 

“Okay, that only happened one other time!” Javi sloppily pointed at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, when you were absolutely hammered after Steve’s 40th birthday party and wouldn’t let me put you to bed until you could prove to me that you did not, in fact, get whiskey dick, to which you fell asleep with your hands down your pants sitting in the guest room chair, unable to prove your point.” 

“That was not my proudest moment, I will admit that. Most of the time, I’m pretty good at sex, though.” Javi retorted, trying to bring himself back from your last point made. 

“Yes, Jav, you’re very good at sex.” You agreed, patting him on the leg and rubbing his thigh. 

“So good…. That we should make another baby tonight when we get home.” 

“Oh my god.” 

“I’m just saying!” 

“Jesus Christ, you goof. I think when we get home, someone needs to drink some water and get into bed. I love you very much, but that’s about as far as we’re getting tonight.” You laughed, rustling the messy curls of his hair as he leaned his head to rest against your shoulder. 

Javi sat silent for a moment, watching the headlights of the cars flash through his window, staring into the serene darkness of the clear night sky, the familiar warmth of his body pressed against yours in a comfortable calm. It was almost as if you could feel his eyelids beginning to droop, slowly closing while his sleepy state washed over him as he nestled against you. And while in that moment, the air between you hung quiet, you could hear the silent agreement that if given the choice, there was nowhere else you’d rather be than right here, right now, with each other. 

“Hey, Hermosa?” 

“Yeah, Jav?” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“....Enough that we should make another baby tonight?” 

“Javi!”

Taglist:

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise

@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper r @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild

@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[feistyvirghoe]

₊˚ෆ𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑶𝑷𝑳𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑨𝑩𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝒀𝑶𝑼? 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑶𝑵𝑻 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹 𝑶𝑭𝑻𝑬𝑵? ༉‧₊˚.

!!ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀꜱ!!

ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ꜰʀᴏᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʟꜱɪɴɢ, ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴜᴛ, ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪꜰ ᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴄᴏᴏʟ ʙᴀʙʏ ʙᴏᴏ! ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ!

ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴠᴀꜱᴛ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴘʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴜʀ ᴜɴᴅɪᴇꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴡɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ʙᴄ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇꜱᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ��ɪɴᴇ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ! <3

ᴇxᴛʀᴇᴍᴇʟʏ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇꜱ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ 18!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 1 >what people love about you guys is how expressive you are with whatever it is you’re doing, like you’re the ones to explore uncharted territory, the people that like to go do out of the box shit, you’re very adventurous, onto the next thing, the next step, i feel like it may be your unpredictability. it’s like a shock to other people, you doing your own thing, how passionate you are about it too. not letting dumb things get in your way, it’s as if you don’t have time for the drama. something about how fierce you are, it seems to wake something up in others. you get people’s attention and i think that scares them, you come off as intimidating but you just got your own, you really need no one to validate your existence. i feel like it’s because you listen, you don’t exclude people, true sweethearts, my lil feisty ass sweethearts. i feel like it may be your brattiness too, you have people engaged, i also feel like it’s the way you love others as well, you show up for people, i feel like others love the way they can count on you. not in a way to take advantage of you and if so clock that shit! i also am feeling you leaving shit behind that does not serve you, you know how people stay in shit situations bc they feel obligated to, well not u babe, you will get your ass up and leave, which u should! you don’t need to stick around and take on shit that’s irrelevant and will waste your damn time. i also feel like people like how you can see through other people’s bs. you’re aware of others weird intentions towards you, like u can feel it and/or see it as well and when u do you it may make you feel like you’re the problem solver, having solutions to the confusion in your life even if u think you don’t. it’s like you re-group, a lot of introspection and pondering, sitting there, listening to your inner self as well, when you put everything together, and it starts making sense you go from there and make the right decisions for yourself.

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 2 > im getting this cool feeling from you guys, like you’re the popular loner, the person who people wanna get close to but they can’t because you’re selective with who you hang around. i know that’s weird but people like how you enjoy your solitude, your peace, how you can keep to yourself, not like you don’t need people but you just don’t need the wrong people all up in your bubble, your safe space. but i also feel like people love how you embrace the chaos, change is like your middle name, you can easily adapt and let go of things that are out of your control, you know how to get out of your comfort zone. you’re someone who’s cutoff game is strong! you simply do not need anyone i swear this is the theme, YOUR INDEPENDENCE, you know that some things never last and shit is temporary. you know how that can irk some people, like they despise the chaos and they think that it’s punishment but you see it as an opportunity to grow and move on from the stuff that was bringing you down, maybe you just can’t take the unnecessary stagnation, like what are you waiting for, i feel like people love this about you, because you know there’s that sunrise that comes the next day. “if you got beef your problem not mine” you’re like a shocker to people, maybe it’s how you look, maybe it’s how your energy comes off to others but you’re just someone who fucking shows people. that shit can be done a different way. yes you know that it’s never really over and this ending or whatever has been broken down in your life is making way for something newer and better. i feel like people love how you can bring balance into your own life, your steady and confident on that tight rope which may be intimidating and extremely intense for others but you can handle that shit, a very transformational pile. people probably love how you bring change into their damn life but yours as well, maybe people are feeling outcasted by you but you just need time to do things alone and on your own, you’re always thinking and creating, some people may think that you’re full of yourself and that you may just want to cause problems but i feel like that’s there insecurity that they may want to rub off on you, like “oh pile 2 hot a big head” oh fucking please. just because you mind your fucking business and because you’re a natural leader, someone who’s in control but also knows that they’re not and that our creator can bring shit down and humble us whenever and you get that, you just fucking get it and if others don’t that’s all on them, you don’t seems to hold grudges and that may make people think that you’re somehow full of yourself because you think you’re better than the stupid drama and negative projections from people. just keep doing you and stay in your damn lane but u already know that! PERIOD!

𝑷𝑰𝑳𝑬 3 > i feel like the compliments you don’t receive is how beautiful you are, you’re such a magical manifestor, someone who takes the bull by its horns and starts doing, how you can create such beautiful things, whatever it may be, your skills, you seem smart as hell and i say that because you take advantage of this natural talent that’s within you, this was so weird but i was just getting like stalker fucking energy, like people like to watch u do shit, probably don’t wants you doing certain things bc they know how much abundance is within you but maybe you can’t see it clearly but others can. anyways, this is about you not those freaks. i feel like you’re such an inspiration to others with how quietly you do things. there is this mysteriousness about you guys. others don’t know too much about you and that seems to intrigue them, like “i need to know more more more about you!”jeeeeez!! its probably why that other shit came out, like people seem to yap a lot about you and what you have going on. people love how assertive you are, you’re not arrogant or rude but you just give off that stable personality. someone who’s taking that leadership role in any part of your life, whether that may be with school, work, home life, your friends, you’re someone who people can count on, you know how to balance your femme and masculine side, and we all need to, we can’t have one side overpowering the other you know, it causes a major disruption inside of us, and i also feel like it’s how you draw people in with how alluring you may be, you can do both, you can be very stern and set in your ways and you know when to take action at the right time for yourself but you also know how to step into that receiving role, letting love come to you, i feel people may love how you love others, like you don’t make hasty decisions when it comes to your love life, you know yourself and how valuable you are. you’re precious boo and for others to try and make u look weird (by them talking mad shit, just yapping nonsense about you) but it’s bc you’re a no nonsense person, bitch you’re literally a fucking star! all of these cards are major arcana’s and with that coming out it’s like your life looks almost perfect from the outside but people don’t know how you’re doing inside, like what’s going on in your head and what’s hurting your heart, you keep up a good face for outsiders and i see why, not everyone deserves to be near you and in your beautiful energy! you guys make balanced and wise choices for yourself and for others too! something about your creativity and character i feel like you just simply make other people happy by you just being yourself without feeling guilty for it, which u should never feel guilty for loving yourself and making you your first priority, you matter my love! also i’m feeling your humanitarian side as well, the way you care so much about other people that’s why i said what i said above, it’s like someone hates that side of you but this isn’t that reading baby, don’t play into that stupid game either, it’s okay to of service to others and want to help your community or just anyone in general but set good boundaries for yourself, remind yourself not to extend a hand to ungrateful, disgusting, DISRESPECTFUL individuals, know who deserves your time and energy and who don’t. you’re a badass baby!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓂𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒! 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒’𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝓎𝓅𝑒 𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝓁 𝒸𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻 𝓊𝓅 𝒽𝑒𝒽𝑒! 𝒾 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓊 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓁𝓂𝓀 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊’𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉. 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒, 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓎. 𝓇𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝓊 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎𝑜𝓊*ੈ✩‧₊˚

[eddiediazismyhusband]

just a caual reminder that eddie does not need to kiss, date, or sleep with anyone other than buck to make his queerness any more valid

queer characters don’t need to hookup a bunch of times and date around before settling down because queer people irl don’t have to do that either

there are other ways a character can “let loose” and blow off steam than just throwing them into a hookup plotline, and doing so with eddie would just rehash the buck 1.0 plotline and would be lazy writing

not to mention it being yet another roadblock for buddie canon

like ik it can be frustrating to see the writers refusing to give eddie any care within the story and giving him some sort of happy arc, but that doesn’t mean that the only way he can be happy is by simply dating a man… just like how bt isnt narratively satisfying, eddie dating a random man isn’t going to be narratively satisfying either… i want queer eddie as much as the next person and honestly, if it had been a few seasons ago maybe i wouldn’t be as apprehensive to this kind of arc, but this show isn’t going to last forever… i don’t want them to keep dragging buddie out convoluting the plot by bringing in more li’s for both of them just because the fans are “okay with stepping stone relationships”

we’re entering season 8. we’re entering the 7th year of buddie being a ship. we don’t have time nor need for stepping stone relationships anymore. i know that jealousy and mutual pining arcs are enjoyable, but atp anything prolonging them getting together is just risking us never getting buddie… i don’t want a repeat of s6 where they wind up with shit engame li’s bc they wasted too much damn time dragging their feet and giving them these rando love interests

we also run the risk of fans jumping ship again if eddie were to get a male li that isn’t buck because there are so many people out there who (like w bt) just wanna see eddie kiss a man and once they get that, they’ll ditch the buddie ship, and we’ll once again find ourselves struggling to stay afloat

yes ik this show is a drama, ik slowburns thrive off drama, but this slowburn has been building since s3 (arguably s2 for some of us) it has been beyond enough time for them to keep it a slowburn; they need to actually go through with it now rather than continuing to bait us bc Ryan and Oliver both deserve better storylines to play than that.

i am obviously trying to remain cautious and will not trust the writers to handle things well until they do, but it doesn’t help our cause to be suggesting storylines this late in the game that will only serve to convolute the plot even more than it already is at this point. these tropes are amazing in fics that have no set end date, but 9-1-1 as a show is not going to run forever— we don’t even know if we are even going to get a 9th season yet. This could very well be our last opportunity to get buddie canon, and cheering on plotlines that would push buddie canon even further back on the roster is only going to dilute our chances even more.

i say this with love, not with spite, but i have seen a lot of people wishing for/posting about how they hope to see these storylines play out and i’m here to say we are not in a position for any of these anymore, and that’s just the unfortunate reality of a show entering its 8th season in a television environment where shows are lucky to get past 2 or 3 seasons.

[foundfam2754]

S17e6 live reactions!

Spoilers...obviously

i'm kinda nervous to watch this because i saw someone's post on e6 before this on garvez and they weren't happy... let's see because we're def getting pen and luke interaction this ep bc of the whole tyler ex gf thing

i'm like 95% confident that this is a dream...

okay def a dream because luke is hurt

reminds me of that dream spence had close to the end of s15

what a strange song to have emily sing

okay even dream dead emily is sad :( bring her back from the dead pls (again)

yep... dream

poor papa pasta :(

emily singing will haunt me forever

i like how CM can be scary when it wants to be

aw even after 20 years, emily, jj and pen will be my favorite trio

OH MY GOD rossi's really feeling the trauma

wait this is so sad :(

you're not fine, dave. none of you are fine. PG had the right idea leaving the BAUwh

jj what are you getting at????? luke? i kinda wish it was about luke, but i knew it was about emily

beige, wasting time, and bad kissing?? why is that so penelope garcia coded?

god jj just takes care of everyone but herself, mamabear!jj is my fav

Penelope, pls don't be jealous, he's not worth it

how are garvez so normal after last week? at least their friendship is never in question

why is it awkward luke? because you're in love with pen?

okay i don't mind me some greencia banter, but they did NOT date

jfc dave needs a therapist

aww tara's the best man

kinda love the team knows each other so well, they can talk and listen without words. it's kinda beautiful

OH MY GOD i kinda predicted what tara said about "sitting quietly"

you're safe dave, we promise. we all love u

jj don't make it darker i can barely see the show as it is

i love high!emily, man

i will be using emily's chopsticks trick going forward

"delicious but insufferable" is my new catchphrase

"emily elizabeth prentiss"

super hot latino/a is penelope's type too ;)

damn pen's is roasting him and i kinda love it

i like the parallel of garvez interrogating teresa and tyler about the relationship - i know they have different purposes for doing so, but in my opinion still keeps them connected in a way - so i'll take what i can get

tara's right

luke looks so impressed and kinda turned on by pen's hacking primer - i love it; i know it's just adam, not scripted, but i appreciate that kirsten and adam keep us happy and delulu

"new friend"

i just realized this is the ultimate love square (pen, luke, teresa, tyler)

WHY are you talking about the "sticky chemistry"

penelope's a lot mature than she's acting about this, i mean they are all in their 30-40's and should be able to be honest about their FEEELINGS

god I love how much luke hates tyler

chaotic emily is kinda terrifying

"just run through the field and catch all that rye" HAHAH FUCKING LOVE YOU EMILY

emily you know she loves cheetos why would you leave them out

lmao high!jj

oh this is the elevator scene from the trailer where the walls collapse in

this show can be very scary when it wants to be (hasn't been for me in a while because i rewatch and know what's gonna happen)- and I like that they're leaning into it

lol are they hinting that they were both attracted to tyler because they have grief-related trauma and he's a good, desperate short-term solution

oh my god they were not dating

OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT LUKE AND TYLER HATE EACH OTHER

sir, agent alvez sir, need i remind you that only 7 years ago you were also the lone wolf type?

"rattle off a list of your victims you know, besides penelope and teresa" GO OFF LUKE ALVEZ OMG

this is weirdly hot

"ever take matters into your own hands, luke?" is that a thinly-veiled comment about the fact that everyone knows about his feelings but he is yet to do anything about it yet? or am i too much of a garvez shipper and i'm reading garvez into every pen or luke interaction on this show

aw ex bf and boyf bonding!

"who have you pissed off recently?" lol besides you lukey?

why is voit doing sit-ups? man, he is weird

why don't they call him "Lee?" i feel like it would affect him more

62!?

god voit's a good profiler

elias has strong daddy issues and i think he needs dave's approval

what is he repressing? krystall?

oh my god voit's such a good villain

yeah man, don't date tyler if you don't want your trust violated or safety threateneed

oh my god are jj and em gonna fight?

no don't tease a relationship between teresa and luke please i can't

OMG, we finally got a GARVEZ confession!!!

"she knows i love her" luke you're breaking my heart, he sounded so sad :(

but also --- does she know? y'all never said it... and she needs the words said to her. she's not great with subtext, luke

i love that teresa's not letting him excuse his feelings or his inaction

GOD NO DO NOT DATE EACH OTHER I CAN'T TAKE LUKE DATING SOMEONE ELSE RIGHT NOW PLS

no elias, you ARE a fan boy

"honestly" "trust me" those words don't mean anything coming from you elias

god guys you're so much smarter than him, please stop trusting him PLEASE

"this was fun, dave!" god elias just likes fucking with them

yay!! tyler character development

i simultaneously love and hate this tyler / luke bromance

"we are stronger than anyone gives us credit for" YES SO TRUE I LOVE THESE TWO WITH ALL MY HEART

"it gives me you" aw, jemily fans are gonna lose their mind aren't they, but also they're my fav bff duo

"let's fucking go" LOVE YOU EMILY SO HARD

wtf teresa; oh my god this love square is going to kill me

"north star is us, the BAU" DAMN that's powerful

[idiocydoesnotkill]

IM SO MAD!!!

I ranted about this before to my friend(s). BUT, if you didn't know, i like to sew doll clothes and i do simple repairs to my own. And i work at my family's lampshade factory, so i can grab the scraps of fabric we don't need there for my home projects. Fun stuff tbh!!!

So! BACKSTORY! At the begining of this year, we did a big cleanning over at the factory, and there were some fabric sample catalogs that were no longer needed. So, of course, i took them home (they were going to the trash otherwise), at least 12 of them. This is what they look like:

Small pieces of fabric on the front all lined up and usually 1 or 2 big pieces on the back that cover all of it. Big pieces are usually around 1 meter long and small pieces are around 15x15cm. And there are TONS of rows per catalog of the small ones.

So, bc im kinda lazy but now wanted to use some of the fabrics for doll clothes, i finally started to dismantle the catalogs. It usually takes around 30mins per catalog to dismantle.

ANYWAY!!! I'm getting angry bc throwing these away was gonna be SO WASTEFUL!!! Look at this:

There is a ton of fabric here! I haven't even dismantled 6 of them (not shown in pic) yet! We could use the big piece for 1 or 2 small lampshades. And i know damn well we could use the small ones for other factory projects, machine testing and other day-to-day stuff. But instead we were throwing these away! And that makes me so mad and sad...

Like!!? WTF!? There is a ton of fabric all over my craft space!! I probably won't have to buy fabric for years!!! And i already used some of the fabric in the catalogs to make some tiny dresses for my sylvanian families doll, so not all of the fabric is here!!!

I am glad that i took these. Like i said, i will use them to make doll clothes, plushies, to repair clothes and other stuff. But at the same time i am also frustrated about the fact that we could've been less wasteful over at the factory. And everytime i grab one more sample catalog to dismantle i get frustrated bc of this ^^^^^^

Anyway... have 6 more catalogs to dismantle... wish me luck!

[kens-ramblings]

okay so for background i work in first responder land, not as a first responder but my job deals with them on a regular basis. so basically here is my opinion on what kinda of first responder each of the batfam would be with little to no explanation :D

Alfred- maybe retired EMS? i know he does medical stuff with the bats so it just makes sense to me

Bruce- he’s a cop. idk what else to say he’s just such a cop and you can take that however you’d like🤨😐

Dick- 911 operator. i think he canonically was one at some point(please correct me if im wrong tho i am very slowly getting through comics) and its also one of the ones that just makes sense to me. like he wants to help but he does not want to do it on the same way B does and has always been good with people. so i feel like he’d probably enjoy it

Jason- maybe this is controversial but i’d say firefighter. like yes he died due to smoke inhalation but i also feel like he’d want to work through that trauma(bc bats can’t just go to therapy like normal people nooooo) by helping others to yk,,, not die in fires?? also it’s just another one of the ones idk how else to explain it the vibes are just there yk

Tim- I think he’d work in emergency management somewhere. like yes they are not exactly first responders and his character is a front lines guy, but we’ve also seen that he is a PLANNER. emergency management’s whole job is planning for what to do when things go to shit. plus they still go on scene as needed so he wouldn’t have to deal with JUST being a guy in a chair

Babs- i originally wasn’t gonna do her because i don’t really know her character all that well. but,,,, as i was writing tim’s i was like “oh this is also probably babs a bit ecspecially after her accident. like she was probably some sort of first responder,,, maybe cop to follow in her dads footsteps?? but also maybe not? like i said not exactly one of the characters know best,,,, but anyways after no longer being able to help on the front lines she joins gothams emergency management agency because they also help coordinate when big things happen so it makes sense to me

steph- another one i’m not super sure i know her characterization all that well outside of fandom, but im giving it my best go. i feel like she went into EMS. she spent some time with leslie and in a lot of normal capes aus i’ve read it seems like she’s always a med student so it makes sense to me

Cass- i’m actually kinda stumped on her. like realistically she could do any of the jobs she wanted because yk she’s highly skilled in damn near everything. like idk i just can’t picture her as anything other than kick ass vigilante. but if i had to choose,,,, maybe 911 operator, she could help with other languages and dispatchers really run this shit from the shadows. so final answer dispatcher i guess? but i feel like it is kinda a waste of her fighting talents but yk it is what it is

duke- he is another one i’m not 1000% on characterization, i don’t think he’s been in any of the comics i’ve read other than wayne family adventures. but anyways, my gut instinct was cop, but like in the way that he’s trying to change the system from the inside out. but then actually the whole gang thing came to mind and duke is def an ACAB kinda guy. like couldn’t stand to wear the uniform probs, so im actually gonna go with fire fighter. i also can’t really explain this one it’s just what my heart says.

Dami- he’s another one i think is a cop, but he is because he wants to be like Bruce. he starts out doing basically whatever B says but he eventually finds his own way. honestly i feel like after a stint he quits and joins like an EMS service for animals(i actually do not know if that’s a thing, but it is now) bc i think he would genuinely enjoy that and still feel like he’s helping yk?

[pinguwrites]

Kinktober 2023 | Day Thirty-One — Jackson Rippner + ghostface!reader

Pairing -> jackson rippner x ghostface!reader

Summary -> In this college au, Halloween is nearing its corner, only for the festive mood to be cut short when your classmate is brutally killed. As the series of murders continues, Jackson Rippner finds himself the next target, oblivious to the fact that his hunter is you, his girlfriend, the ghostface.

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Warnings: mention of death, jackson being a simp

Disclaimer: Red Eye characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

This is just an excerpt for the full-length fic that's coming out, bc I felt like this prompt deserved something much longer than just a drabble.

A/N: not me reading over this thing after it's published and seeing all the mistakes 😭

Jackson Rippner was trying to become more romantic for you, an endeavor that started about a week ago after he noticed you liked passionate men. It was a simple conversation about fictional crushes — you know, the ones you have as a kid when he realized all the men you had pointed out were terribly lovey-dovey and all sentimental-like. A few origami roses here and there, some thoughtful gifts, maybe some poetic letters, and he was sure that he could outcompete all of them. He was the only man you needed, the only man you could ever want.

He knew how it sounded—pathetic. Since when was he the type to change himself for a girl? He was no Romeo or Jack Dawson, and he certainly didn’t want to be. He wasn’t a simpering fool, chasing after a pretty girl like it was his life’s mission, but as it turned out, he was for you. And if you liked your men romantic, then Jackson would be romantic

Starting off with whatever this was: a package of your favorite stuff. For one, two books you mentioned wanting to get but couldn’t spare the money for, which Jackson painstakingly searched through the town for. He finally found them in some niche bookstore on the outskirts of Craven, overpriced for the value—or some other equally stupid bullshit—even though he knew damn well that he could get it for half the price if he drove further into the main city. He would have, but he knew his father would get pissed if he wasted that much gas money, and fearing to face his fist, he settled for the high cost. It’s for her, so it’s worth it.

For second, and last—at least for now, some bath bombs. He made them from scratch, swiping the ingredients from around the house. He used a cedar wood scent for the essential oil, as it was the closet smell he could get to his cologne, and made three bombs, wrapped them in plastic, and put them alongside the books in the bag.

It was perfect. You were going to love it. You had to love it. How could you not?

He closed the bag and placed it on his desk, ready to go to sleep, when the landline downstairs rang. It was probably telemarketers, but it could also be his parents, who were out on date night. 

He headed downstairs and picked up the phone, but the voice on the other end caught him off guard. “Hey,” a woman said, but it didn’t sound natural. It sounded like there was a voice modulator, the ones that criminals used in those crime shows you forced him to watch.

“Hey?” Jackson responded, confused, and a little irritated.

“I know who you are.”

Jackson tried to focus on the sound of the voice. Maybe he could pick out who it was if he listened close enough, but it was a fruitless effort. It was female, but too common to tell.

“You’re the one calling me,” he said, tone laced with amusement, “I should assume so.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“A creep? A weirdo?” Jackson laughed. “A stalker? I dunno. Take your pick.”

It was quiet. For a moment, he thought the woman hung up, but then she spoke again, “A lover. I’m a lover, Jackson.”

“Good for you.” He glanced back at the package he left on his desk. He was tired, and didn’t want to deal with this right now. “Now, how about you either stop acting mysterious and tell me what you want, or I cut the call.”

“Someone’s going to die tonight, Jackson,”  the woman said. Oddly enough, Jackson felt a twinge of excitement at her words. It was oddly thrilling, and adrenaline inducing to hear such a thing. It was at this point he realized with himself that this was a prank, because who would just admit to premeditated murder? but still—it was hot. He wished you would say those things.  

“I hope it’s that girl from my English class. What’s her name? Ah, fuck, I forgot. She’s the bitchy one —all emotion. Screams every time the lights go out. You know her?”

“Yeah, I know her.”

So, she’s been on campus, Jackson thought. Following me, maybe. I can’t believe it! 

“It’s not her, though. But who knows, maybe she’ll be next. Would you like that?”

“Doll, I really don’t care. Do me a favor, and don’t call me again.”

He put the phone down and went back upstairs. What a fucking psycho. He was too tired to deal with this shit. After freshening up, he pulled the covers over himself and turned off the lamp, drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

Taglist:

@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

@shroombloom-rry

@meetmeatyourworst

@mrkdvidal1989

[miokki]

# CHOCOLATES

✰ synopsis: valentine’s day with your secret high school sweetheart

✰ character(s): scaramouche x gn!reader, tartaglia

✰ content warnings: nothing

✰ note: happy late valantine’s day! (i forgot to post it yesterday) also if it seems a little rushed it is bc it is. school!au btw.

if there was anything scaramouche hated more than sweet things, it was the day that seem to be filled with them. valentine’s day always repeats itself for the boy, at least since he started high school that is.

this year appeared to be no different, he could already see the first waiting for him at his locker with a box of chocolates. in past years, scaramouche would’ve tried to refuse gifts but after weighing up his options, he’s found that it’s easier to just accept people's gifts rather than outright refuse. the tactic has been working well as he now has fewer problems and the people appear to be okay after the initial rejection.

even after three valentine's days of countless confessions and an overload of flower petals he still has no clue what to do with all the chocolates. he’s figured out what to do with all the teddy bears and he just keeps flowers at home. yet there’s nothing that comes to mind when he needs to get rid of the leftover chocolate his mother won’t even eat. and as much as he hates chocolate or any kind of sweets for that matter, he hates to see food go to waste.

as of right now, scaramouche is eating by himself while working on something in his homeroom. it’s one of the only places he can find escapism at this moment in time due to his popularity amongst the girls. scara doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get why most of the girls at the high fawn over him, he isn’t anything out of the norm. but what do they know? all they see is some boy that always trails behind that group at school. coincidentally, childe doesn’t get it either, he is just as aloof as any other of the loners at this school. the only difference is that he's conventionally attractive.

“how many do you have so far?” childe asks as he barges into the room

scara lifts his gaze to see the redhead gleaming at him from across the room while walking up to his desk.

“23 girls and one boy,” the boy answered as he looked childe up and down.

“a boy too? damn, i'm jealous, i've only managed four and not a single boy in sight,” the tall one whined as he leaned himself against the desk beside scaramouche’s.

“i can see why there hasn't. you act more interested in mr zhongli than any of your classwork.”

“don't start getting cocky with me. i am the sole reason you can eat in peace.”

scaramouche chuckles, “so what did you end up doing?”

childe watches as scara takes another bite into his sandwich before relaxing back into his chair. he hasn’t been in this good of a mood since his mother came back from her trip with her girlfriend. even before, scara has never been this friendly towards him, not that he minds it of course. he's enjoying the conversation they're sharing. childe just wishes that he could see this side of him more often.

“ah. i didn't do much, i just told your fangirls that you were hanging around the fountain on the south side of the school. i have no idea why you'd hang there but they believed it.”

scara sighs, “i told you before, they're not my fangirls,” the dark-blue-haired boy glared.

“but it's true!” the tall boy exclaimed.

“they squeal when you walk past and when i told them you were near the fountain they fucking ran. i swear if you started selling posters of your face they'd sell them out in an instant. it’s like you’re whole of one direction to them. i wouldn't blame (name) if they ever got jealous.”

despite the last sentence being mumbled, scaramouche heard just enough to freeze. he’s sure he didn’t slip up, well not in any area he is aware of. perhaps you told childe, but you rarely even talk to scara himself during the school day so that isn't an option.

“what? you look like you've seen a ghost. you aren't that hard to figure out scara. your eyes drag when they're close by, you never give anyone that time of day,” the redhead explains.

“anyway,” childe sighs as he gets up from the desk, “hey you wouldn't mind if I take a few boxes from your stash, i wanna give something to tonia, teucer and anthon.”

“all yours.”

“thanks, buddy,” the orange-headed boy smiled as he ruffled scaramouche’s hair.

scaramouche waved him off as he exited the room, which left him in this lone classroom. the boy sighed as he started to settle back down into what he was originally doing. picking back up his pen to start writing until he was interrupted once again.

knock, knock.

looking over for the second time to see you poking your head through the doorway. “childe told me you here by the way.” you beam as you let yourself in. it makes his heart flutter; your smile. it’s sweet, the genuine kind, as opposed to chocolate which needs sugar to mask its bitterness. to him you’re like dark chocolate. the kind that isn’t overly sweet. and though still bitter, that's the part he enjoys most.

“do you want some?” scara offered as he waved the assorted box of chocolates in front of you. “i got them on the way here,” the boy clarified just in case. “sure,” you shortly responded before snatching the box from his grasp. “so you told childe?” you asked as you started to tear the plastic wrapping around the box. “i didn't tell him anything,” he begins as you inspect the packaging of the chocolate. turning over the box you notice the price sticker is still on.

“wait, 10,000 mora?” the boy pauses his explanation to look at you, “kuni, your fangirls are treating you so well. you should go thank them,” you teased as you placed one of them in your mouth. “mmh, I will say, they’re are worth at least half of all that mora, the texture is lovely.”

the upturned corners of scara’s lips are now apparent as he watches you devour most of the chocolate. he’s glad you enjoyed them otherwise he wouldn’t know who else to turn to. in all honesty, scaramouche feels strange, this year valentines aren’t like all those years before. he still is bombarded with tens and tens of gifts however he has someone to go to after school rather than home alone this year. and though he is at peace, he still has one more thing on his mind.

“do my uh— fan.. girls bother you?” the boy blurts out.

you almost spit out your chocolates yet you end up choking on them instead. after calming down you decide to speak, “is that what's been on your mind the entire time? don't tell me. did childe say something that made you think that?”

“n-no.”

quickly, you get up from your seat to wrap your arms around your boyfriend's slim figure, “aw my poor baby, there's no need to worry.” you pout, your body hanging over his shoulders.

“i wasn't worried,” scara denies.

“aww, my prince was worried. there's no nothing to be ashamed of, i'll have you know i have my own set of fangirls, so if you were to be worried i’d hope it would be that instead.” scara only shakes his head in shame before taking the last chocolate from the box. notably faster than you did. “I thought you said you didn't like sweet things.” you questioned, raising him a brow as you waited for a response.

“i don't but this one's dark chocolate.”

do not copy of repost any of my works

@ miokki 2023

[aeviiteernal]

Omg can you do a Myers (or maybe even Demogorgon if you write for him lol) with a Surviver who is basically IMPOSSIBLE to catch? Like their looping skills are insane and if he ends up getting them he cant feel good abt it bc all gens have been done in that done or everyone escaped😭

i love looping the killer for 5 gens <3 also sorry for not posting for a bit, been focused on my personal life and trying to hit a higher killer rank for the reset. but, i am still here AND alive !

Michael Myers

When Michael saw you in his trial, he knew it was going to be a tough one. After all, word from the other killers (and some matches himself) always groaned and complained how you could run them until everything was done.

He wanted to be the first one to finally kill you.

Thankfully for him, where the Entity had sent everyone was Midwich. Granted he brought the offering and was running scratch mirror but we won't talk about it..

Deciding to go into the trial with a plan: he wanted to lure you out through your teammates and pursue you immediately.

After downing half your team, Michael waits patiently for you to slip out and make your appearance...

To be expected, you finally made your grand appearance and Michael made his first move towards you.

You were trying to quickly patch up Nea, knowing for a fact it was a stealth killer as you heard no terror radius. That only solidified when a knife swept your back, making a deep cut. A yelp scream from your lips, forcing you to stop healing and start your chase.

With you injured, Michael thought he could easily down. Well... He was wrong.

You took him everywhere you could, going to different loops, winning his mind games--even him falling for yours--you tried your damn best to keep him distracted as the others did gens.

One, two, three... Michael lost track as his bloodlust intensified, only wanting to catch you. At this rate he would be incapable of salvaging this trial if he left now. So his only goal was to get you.

You made a mistake, a fatal one which pretty much landed you directly in his arms as he ripped you off the pallet.

For as silent as he can be, you could hear a frustrated exhale come from his mask as he went to throw you on a hook.

At least you know you wasted his time and made him resent you...

The Demogorgon

My sweet, sweet, demo...

An apex creature, causing quite a bit of trouble amongst survivors with its ability to track down anyone injured.

Of course, nothing that you couldn't handle.

Your team had a rather rough start, you were on Coal Tower and some of your team had been hooked which left you to be the only one that was never hooked once.

Neither was any gens done, so it was an anonymous agreement to have you distract the beast.

Not that you can complain, it was preferred you take chase anyways.

You walked through the blue realm, searching to find it. Thankfully it didn't take long as you stepped into direction line of sight of it.

And so the chase begins, not wanting to let your team down and to at least give them some hope.

Running around, you narrowly dodge its shreds, baiting them out by faking a vault and letting it smack against it.

Even if you got hit during chase, it never deterred you. You wanted to run for a million dollars.

As gens popped, the more the chase got intense. You were getting tired, and you know the Demogorgon was just as frustrated and tired. How could a human like you give it so much trouble?!

Eventually you were smacked to the ground and took to a hook. As soon as you were placed on it, the sound of the exit gates powering alerted the killer.

Although you may not be able to tell, you certainly did demotivate the demon as it ran off to go and get the rest of your team and try to get a second kill.

[bellysoupset]

so glad to hear you liked the request! i was a bit worried I was being annoying 😭

having a brainworms moment btw. so yknow how leo continued working out after college and jon hasn’t. and leo is buff as hell. thinkin about leo princess carrying jon. which is know would be difficult because jon is definitely not a small or light guy. HOWEVER 👆 . he has a strong giant for a bf. so technically. would it be feasible. for a leo carrying an exhausted jonah to bed from the couch moment 🤨🥺 ( like it definitely wouldn’t be graceful. or easy. leo is huffing and puffing about jonah’s ass being lazy and difficult to carry. and jonah is loving every minute of it even though he’ll Never admit it) i knowww jonah is also a huge guy. i still think he deserves to be carried around like a princess <3🍄

Jumping straight into action with this one, bc I tried writing the start like 20 times and gave up.

Leo super hungover

--------------------

"LEO PUT ME DOWN-" Jonah shrieked, when his boyfriend lifted him up bridal style and twirled them around, giggling manically, "LEO!"

"I AM A LAWYER!" Leo yelled in return, throwing Jonah up in his arms and then promptly falling on his back when Jonah fell back down in his arms.

They crumpled to a pile of limbs on the wet grass of the park outside their apartment building and Jonah let out a groan, rolling on his back and rubbing his sore side, "you're such a fucking asshole, that's what you are," he groaned, picking a leaf out of his hair.

Leo was still sprawled on the grass, chest heaving with laugh and laborious breath, a dizzy smile on, "Jon..." he panted, staring at the sky. It was just about the break of dawn, so the sky was a lilac-grey shade, with the stars about to fade, "Jon, I'm a lawyer."

"You've been a lawyer since September last year, baby," Jonah rolled his eyes with a smile, sitting up on the grass and scooting closer to Leo. The blonde shook his head, closing his eyes, still with a smile on.

"Now I'm a hired lawyer, a real one," his voice came out a little squeezy and Jonah draped himself over him, catching Leo's lips into a kiss.

"I am. So. Proud. Of. You," he punctuated each word with a kiss and Leo opened a blinding smile, wrapping an arm around his neck and then letting out a snort when Jonah completed, "but we should go inside before you become an arrested lawyer."

"Uhm, we're not even doing anything," Leo whined, but pulled back, opening his arms in a T position on the ground, "I can't get up, everything's twirling."

"You can, c'moon," Jon grabbed his arm, forcing him up, "let's go inside before Matthew calls the police on us for public indecency."

"Matthew would never," Leo pouted, but allowed Jonah to pull him out of the ground. There were a bunch of leaves stuck to the back of his shirt and his hair, "Ah- Uh," he grimaced as they entered the garage of the building, smartly avoiding the front door, "I feel weird."

"You're wasted," Jonah rolled his eyes, shoving him inside the elevator, "please don't puke in here."

Leo nodded, planting a hand to his stomach and making a little confused face, "it's all gurgly... Feels like I need to burp."

Jon squinted at him, "don't burp, it'll just make you puke," he said, knowing damn well it was never just burps with Leo, "just three more minutes, babe."

"Okay," Leo poked his belly, wrinkling his nose when that caused a whine to erupt from the organ and then he let his head rest on Jonah's shoulder, "I wanna get a tattoo."

"Now?" Jon chuckled, voice muffled by his boyfriend's hair, "right now?"

"As celebration," Leo mumbled, his mouth pressed to Jonah's sweater, "because I'm a real lawyer now..." he let out a sigh as the elevator came to a stop and Jon wrapped an arm around his back, guiding his drunk boyfriend towards their door.

It wasn't that he hadn't been drinking as well, after all they were celebrating Leo's promotion. However, he had drunk alongside their friends and switched to water when Leo showed no signs of slowing down. At least four hours before.

Jonah was opening the door, not bothering with the lights since it was practically morning already, when suddenly his feet left the floor. He let out a shout, then glared at Leo's pink, strained face, a smug smile on it.

"Put me down," Jonah rolled his eyes, grabbing on the doorway to stop them from going inside with one hand, the other resting on the blonde's shoulder, "Leo."

"You're like a prince..." Leo pressed his forehead to his and Jonah's cheeks turned red.

"Leo, I love you and this is very cute, but if you throw up on me I'm going to put you on the couch for the rest of the week," Jon snarked, leaning in to plant a kiss on his boyfriend's lips, "put me down."

"You're no fun," Leo grumbled, letting him go and then immediately folding in half, wrapping his arms around his stomach, "ugh, but maybe you're right... Feels like my tummy is burning."

"Probably the vodka that you chugged as if it was water," Jon rolled his eyes, keeping a hand in the middle of Leo's back and closing the door with the other. He kicked off his shoes, then squeezed his boyfriend's nape, "bathroom or bed?"

"Bed...?" Leo sounded sleepy and confused, "where's my cat?"

"Asleep," Jonah grabbed him by the shoulders, "c'mon, bedroom-"

It was a hassle to push Leo all the way to their suite, when he wanted to stop and comment on everything he saw along the way, his attention spam all but gone.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jonah managed to push Leo against the pillows, without his shoes or his shirt on. He had given up on removing the blonde's pants, settling for just removing his belt and undoing his fly.

"Sleep now," Jon planted a glass of water and some Advil on the bedside table, as well as an empty bucket on the floor. Normally Leo wasn't a pukey drunk, but normally Leo didn't drink so much or arrive home so wasted.

"Jon," Leo sprawled on the bed, breathing deeply, "Jonah."

"What?" Jon yawned, closing the black out curtains of their room and falling into bed. He scooted up and smiled when Leo promptly rolled on the bed so he could face him, "what is it?"

"You're so handsome," Leo leaned in, resting his forehead to Jon's and not seeing as his boyfriend turned a whole shade deeper as he blushed, "and you have a real lawyer as a boyfriend."

Jon grinned, wrapping an arm around the blonde, "I already did, baby," he pushed a strand of hair away from the blonde's face, "get some sleep."

Leo yawned in agreement, snuggling up even more.

Jonah wasn't sure when exactly he fell asleep. He knew it took longer than it did for Leo, because the blonde was all but draped over him like a weighted blanket and Jon was still awake when he heard JD meow and get out from where she was hiding under their bed, sneaking out of the room to find a nice, warm sunny patch to sleep on.

What he did know was that he woke many hours later with his weighted blanket of a boyfriend moaning softly next to his ear. Thanks to the black out curtains the room was dark and Jonah felt more than saw Leo suddenly heave, it was hard not to, when the blonde’s stomach was pressed to his. 

“Leo!” Jonah grabbed his arm, more than a little clumsy due to sleep, “Leo!” 

He felt his boyfriend recoil at his exclamation, but then Leo moved on the bed just enough to hang his head over the side of it, whole body arching as he retched. Jon gagged himself, as he could feel every heave rocking Leo’s stomach, since the other man was still practically lying on top of him. 

“God, Leo, get off me-” Jonah groaned, gulping down nauseously, only to hear the distinct sound of liquid hitting wood. Jon froze, realizing Leo was leaning over the wrong side of the bed to throw up, the bucket was sitting on his right and his head was hanging over the left side, “bloody hell, Leo-”

“Jon,” Leo whimpered, coughing and curling up, his voice all strained, “Idon’t- Idont feel good…”

He sounded incredibly wounded and pathetic and Jonah fought the urge to strangle his boyfriend. If this was some sickness he’d be a lot more concerned than pissed, but this was just pure and simply a hangover from hell. 

“I know,” Jonah sighed, planting a hand on his back, “c’mon, let’s go to the bathroom, okay?” 

Leo didn’t move at all, except for hiccuping, still draped diagonally on the bed and then bringing up a little more puke, “uhrghhh…” he groaned, sounding dangerously close to tears, “my head is killing me.”

Jonah grimaced, his own stomach sloshing at the sound and smell of vomit right next to him, and he pushed Leo’s waist, managing to free himself from the blonde’s weight. Once he was standing, Jon stumbled and fell on his ass. It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d also be hungover. 

“Jon?” Leo whined and he rubbed a hand over his face, trying to get himself in check.

“I’m here,” he forced himself up and crawled on the bed, grabbing Leo’s naked shoulder, “help me, Leo.”

“I can’t,” the blonde groaned, “I can’t move- I-” he lurched and nearly fell forward and out of the bed, more liquid hitting the ground. Jonah squeezed his boyfriend’s shoulder, keeping him from taking a dive at the puddle of not-digested alcohol, and gulping down. He felt horrible and wasn’t sure how much was sympathy nausea, how much was just his own hangover. 

“Jon,” Leo whimpered, “hurts…” 

Jonah ground his teeth, grabbing the blonde’s arm, “Leo, I’m gonna move you to the bathroom, okay. Please just- Just don’t puke on me-” he forcefully pulled on his boyfriend, causing Leo to groan, his whole face scrunching up in pain. 

The blonde was boneless and incredibly heavy, causing Jonah to huff and puff as he draped one of his arms around his neck and hugged Leo’s waist, pushing them both up from the bed. 

“God…” Leo’s head lolled, meeting Jon’s shoulder and he gagged weakly, “itssslike everything’spinning…” 

“Uh-hum,” Jonah rolled his eyes, stumbling their way to the bathroom. He all but fell in the bathtub, hurrying as he heard Leo let out a watery burp just as they entered the room, “Leo, c’mon-”

“I’mso’Ory,” the blonde hiccuped, falling in front of the toilet and barely retching before more puke rushed up. Jonah planted a hand in the middle of his back to keep Leo from causing a mess, since he was swaying like crazy, then he leaned himself over the bathtub and tried to force his stomach to calm down. 

He felt Leo gag once again, his back arching, and Jon let out a frustrated groan of his own. He wanted to crawl back into bed, not to deal with this… 

“I’m really sorry, I- Fuck,” Leo rasped, seeming completely out of it, “Jon…” 

Clearly he wanted comfort and reassurance and Jonah couldn’t help it. Even pissed as he was, he didn’t want to make Leo feel worse. 

“It’s okay-” he sighed, turning around and muffling a sick burp against his fist, “baby, it’s okay, just get it up. You’ll feel better.”

“Made a mess…” Leo groaned, resting his cheek to the toilet seat and causing Jonah to grimace, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Jon carded his fingers through the man’s sweaty hair, “it’s fine. I’ll figure it out,” he probably wouldn’t, but their building had cleaning services and Jonah figured Leo was out of it enough he wouldn’t notice or bitch about it. 

He sat next to his boyfriend for another fifteen minutes, trying to get his strength back up to deal with the room and feeling his anger melt into worry as Leo continued to puke nonstop. 

“You’re gonna be okay for a while? I’m gonna go deal with the room and the rest,” Jonah pushed himself up, his ass was hurting from falling on the ground and then sitting on it for twenty mins. 

“Uhmmmm…” Leo answered, his whole face scrunched up in pain, still draped over the toilet. 

Jon took this as a yes and walked out of the bathroom. 

Their bedroom was a disaster and the quick glimpse of it Jon caught was enough to have him hurrying back to the bathroom in order to retch loudly in the sink. Everything he had valiantly been able to push down made its way up and Jonah went deaf for a second as his belly squeezed and sent up a horrible acidic rush of vomit. 

He let out a whimper, panting over the bowl and then startled as he felt something touch his calf, only to realize it was his zombie boyfriend trying to comfort him. Jonah felt a squeeze to his stomach, now having nothing to do with nausea and everything to do with guilt, “I’m fine,” he rasped out, noticing Leo’s pasty complexion and making a mental note to force him to have water, “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“I’m really sorry…” Leo breathed out and Jonah let out a sigh, washing his face. 

“It’s fine, just focus on getting better.”

Dealing with the bedroom took longer than he wanted to and Jonah did end up calling the building’s janitor, because despite trying, his stomach simply wouldn’t let him clean it. He then took to the guest bathroom, in order to shower and look presentable, and finally returned to the suite’s main bathroom, this time carrying a bottle of gatorade and everything he thought could help.

Leo had fallen next to the toilet and for a horrible second Jon thought he was passed out, only to realize the blonde had just curled up there. 

“Ah Leo,” he sighed, crouching down, “the ground is freezing, baby.” 

“Uhrgh…” Leo groaned, “at least down here it’s not spinning.”

“Okay,” Jon rolled his eyes, grabbing the gatorade bottle, “I want you to drink something.”

“Nu-uh,” Leo shook his head the slightest bit, “not gonna stay down.”

“It doesn’t matter, you still have to drink,” Jonah forced the blonde to sit up and gently cupped his boyfriend’s head, not liking one bit how clammy he felt or how he could feel his quick heartbeat, “a couple sips.”

“I feel like death,” Leo groaned, taking one small sip and swallowing it- Only to immediately gag and turn to the bathtub. It wasn’t even vomit, just spit up blue drink and Jonah sighed.

“Babe, you didn’t even drink,” he pulled Leo to lie against him, “let’s go again.”

Half a bottle wasted down the drain later and Jon was feeling more than a little fried from stress. Leo had long wrung himself empty and he was currently sprawled on the bathroom floor, with his head resting on Jonah’s lap and napping. 

At least when he was asleep he wasn’t puking or sobbing from the headache, Jonah thought bitterly, running his fingers through Leo’s hair and causing the other man to stir slightly.

“Jon?” he whispered, voice muffled by his boyfriend’s thigh. Leo forced his eyes open when he didn’t get an answer and glanced up. Jonah seemed to be far away, he was still awake, but clearly zoning out as he petted Leo’s hair. 

“Jon, hey,” Leo touched his wrist lightly, causing the other man to jerk as he snapped into the present, “you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Jonah nodded, “are you? Are you gonna be sick again?” 

“No,” Leo grimaced, he probably was gonna get sick again soon, “just dizzy and have a killer headache now… Can we move to bed?”

“Of course,” Jonah wrapped his arms around Leo, hoisting him up and letting out a sigh when the change of positions caused the blonde to lean over the sink and dry heave. 

“Sorry- Sorry,” Leo groaned between burps, “I thought I felt better-”

“It’s okay,” Jon pressed a kiss to his shoulder, rubbing his back, “take a deep breath.”

They entered the now clean bedroom and Leo collapsed against the pillows. Jonah planted a bottle on his bedside table and gestured to the bucket, “let’s try this again,” he said humorously, opening the door so JD could dart in and jump on the bed, promptly going for Leo. He rolled his eyes fondly at the scene and walked to the mattress, falling on his back, with his legs dangling out. 

He let out a deep breath, hearing as JD purred and Leo cooed over her for a little bit. His eyes felt heavy and Jonah yawned, only to hear Leo say quietly, “are you mad?”

Jon rolled on his side, planting his forehead to his boyfriend’s thigh and petting JD with his free hand, “I’m furious.”

“Aw,” Leo pouted and Jonah muffled a scoff against his leg. 

“You’re never drinking again like this,” he said darkly and felt Leo breathe out deeply.

“Deal, yeah.”

[mrnicekisser]

[Street Gacha] Chapter 7

Written by 木野誠太郎

Runa: Good luck to the five abandoned cats on their departure! ♪

Mizuki: Good luck☆

Suzu: But why are you toasting at a curry restaurant? And for some reason, you're drinking lassi...?

Mizuki: Hmm. Maybe I should have had chai instead of lassi?

Suzu: No, that's not what I meant. I think normally the launch would be held at a family restaurant or something, but here...

Runa: Even if you say that, all the family restaurants on weekends are crowded, so I had no choice.

Also, this curry restaurant is a hidden gem, so if you're planning on going to Bunmukae, try their curry first. ♪

Ruka: Ha~h. So this is what lassi tastes like. It's sweet and delicious... Sweet things are the best for a tired body.

Hayate: Well done. How was the street live?

Ruka: Ah, right... I was surprised at how many people came... I was really nervous, so I don't want to do it again anytime soon.

Hayate: Eh~? You have a pretty cute voice, so I think it's a waste.~

Ruka: No, even if you flatter me, I won't let you ride next time!

Hayate: Damn. You're learning. I guess it'll be a while before we see the next stage.

Runa: Hyahya. ♪ If you want to go to Ripe again, why don't you ask us? I'm willing to take it depending on the price!

Ruka: Hey, don't make money out of me...!

By the way, Suzu-senpai, you said earlier that you didn't have any money, but was it okay for you to come to the after-party?

Suzu: Ah, that's it. I have a guess.

I learned from talking to Hiiragi-san earlier that both she and the twins were taking care of abandoned cats and had run out of money.

Me and Ruka have also run out of money due to today's expenses.

Kukuku. But what if Yogiri-san, who has financial means, is the one to judge?

Ruka: I see! As expected of Suzu-senpai, she thought that far before participating in the launch party. ♪

Hayate: No no! I didn't say I'd judge it or anything! I'm bothered by people trying to act cool by saying "I wonder...?"

Runa: Don't say that! If you're an "ally of justice'', why don't you help us in trouble?

Maybe I'll get arrested for eating and drinking without paying. Can you turn your schoolmates into criminals?

Mizuki: That's right! I think abandoning the well-intentioned people who took care of abandoned cats is a disqualification from being an "ally of justice''~ ♪

Hayate: Hey-! You guys are so troublesome!

Sigh... But this time, I also suspected Hiiragi and the others... So I'll settle things for now.

However, only one item per person. If you go too far, you will be turned away without mercy, so be prepared!

Suzu: Ah. That is what it means to be an "ally of justice." A righteous and compassionate woman, a wonderful act...☆ Waiter, can I have one of these "Army, Navy and Air Force Curry" please?

Ruka: I also want the same thing as Suzu-senpai~ ♪

Runa: Well then, there are two of us~☆

Mizuki: Two of the same as everyone, please~ ♪ Oh, I'd be happy if you could put one in a take-out container.

Hayate: Hey guys! You even got one dish for each person!

Runa: What do you mean, "ally of justice"? Yogiri is stingy.

Mizuki: Stingy~.

Hayate: ...Oh man. It's hard to be an "ally of justice" when there are so many quirky people out there.

Well, it was a lively and fun day, and there were no crimes... so maybe this was a good thing.

Waiter, I'll have the same one! Thank you very much☆

--

hiiii this is me Mark and thank you for reading if you actually did it!! this is the first engirls translation i have made and i'm going to do some more later :3 i would rlly appreciate any support as well as any interest in engirls!! feel free to make requests (i can also do translations of enstars stories (i don't actually want to bc i am a beginner and english isn't even my native language but i can try!!) and maybe even smth else....???? who knows.......... soo yeah thanks for being here!!!! ^__^

[worshippin]

i feel bad to even say this but it has been nagging at me so.

one of the reasons why the "main character" statements have been made about imogen is bc of the exact thing she did in ep107: completely hijacking fearne's moment. i mean, woof.

i know they're friends playing a game, i know laura probably didn't mean it/was playing into imogen's panicked headspace (she apologized in the moment) and i usually love laura's choices in any campaign, but man.. it's very frustrating. it's not the first time and it's very disheartening. it made me so uncomfortable and really angry on fearne's behalf, especially when it's clear that ashley isn't a fast-paced player and her choices take time -- not only when she acts but as she awaits the results. whenever something is happening that is imogen-centric everyone keeps quiet or say encouraging words but ultimately let her decide, but when it's fearne that is center stage everyone keeps pulling this kind of shit and not letting her have her choices breathe and unravel, letting her control how she wants her narrative to play out.

matt is a great DM and it's very obvious he makes sure to pull ashley in and give her opportunities for fearne to shine, and sometimes his gentle steering pays off greatly so that she allows herself to make any choice, no matter how bold, but in the end he does have to account for everyone's input as well-- which is to say, it can't only be his responsibility to uplift her and as of late it sometimes feels like it is? and idk it's not... great. and look, all things considered this is a show, so it's very frustating to watch.

like, when imogen went home to her dad fearne was nothing but supportive and made sure to ask how imogen was feeling and what was the course of action they were to take and she basically knighted herself as imogen's best friend, protector and follower. imogen had her big familial moment (and lbr she keeps having them). and now it's fearne turn to deal with her daddy issues and imogen can't wait ten fucking seconds for fearne's decision about wether to ally themselves with her father or not? fearne was already conflicted. she didn't feel guilty about the prospect of killing zathuda, but she was hesitating for a reason. she was interested in what he was telling her and what other information she could extract from him. and that's what matters. and that's why it was frustrating to have that taken away so quickly. it felt dismissive of not only fearne's story but of ashley's play. iirc travis was expecting and seemed excited for her to do something big - maybe cast a spell on gloamglut (i was on the edge of my seat thinking she was gonna tame that dragon or polymorph him!). ashton and braius were worried about the dragon and the temple crumbling on top of them; orym was also worried about the dragon and being diplomatic. but imogen popped off before giving fearne a chance. and y'know, sure, idk, maybe i am reading too much into it! maybe my love for fearne is making me see things a bit too harshly. but it doesn't feel like that. it feels like (another) opportunity wasted.

now i do hope this gets addressed next ep, in some way shape or form. one could argue this was just imogen panicking and trying to prevent them from getting separated again, like when ludinus tried to take fearne away. but eh, at this point i doubt that's how she feels (i mean, i sure hope. but wish is a 9th level spell and i don't have access to those yet). she just wanted to kill zathuda.

TL;DR the fact that she attacked before zathuda answered fearne completely derailed everything and shifted the focus from fearne. and yeah, sure, imogen is not the main character. but sometimes it feels like she wants to be, to control everything, fearne's feelings and choices be damned. i don't think anyone in the cast is careless or purposefully dismissive. i don't think it came from a place of malice, of course not. maybe it's just what imogen would do: unknowingly interrupting every moment. it happened. and it keeps happening. but fearne deserves better.

[crazyf0rswayze]

can you do andrew clark headcanons dating please i am BEGGING

Yes boo

-pda really depends on what mood he's in

-and js physical affection depends but he doesn't really like it

-his love language is gift giving....but NOT receiving. He only needs you to be happy and he's ok

-"oh Andy look what I go you" "thank babe...but you know damn well you're not supposed to waste your money on me"

-youre literally his favorite person

-anyway...when y'all are in public and a guy is looking at you

-he'll wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you cheek...or literally stop in his tracks and cup your cheeks and kiss you long and hard...sometimes with tongue

-as I said in part 1....hands on you at all times if you're at a party

-makes drinks for you to make sure it doesn't get spiked or anything.

-if someone is staring at you, he'll make out with you

-also when you wear his varsity jacket and someone looks at you ...well this is how it goes

-he'll turn you around so the person can see the jacket

-and...

-"see that buddy? it says 'Aannddrreeww Cllaarrcckk'...can you read that? it means she's mine"

-you definitely smack his chest afterwards bc he's...well he's very territorial and protective

-he LLOOVVEESS complimenting you

-even on the smallest little things

-it can be from your diamond stud earring to your makeup

-anything...

-he's such a sweet boy and sweet lover but you really have to get to him and figure him out

-because he can also be an awkward lover

-hes actually a little quiet around you because he feels like he can be

-because he's so used to having to be loud and rowdy around his friends

-loves it when you guys cuddle and his hand is in your hair and you guys are deep in conversation

-always asks about your day and has deep conversations with you

-another love language is just straight up talking...even if it's stupid little things

-likes dancing with you...but NOBODY CAN KNOW!

-i feel like he gets you flowers alot

-also wether your on the cheer team or not he thinks of you as his biggest cheerleader and he gets all happy and excited when you sees you in the bleachers during matches

-his first though is 'i have to win for her'

-when you run into his arms after a match he wraps you up tightly in his arms and picks you up and spins you around

-...but that's only really when he wins

-when he loses he'll give you a hug but he won't be as excited

-anyway....

-"you made it!?" "I haven't missed a single match yet Andy"

-youd say smiling at him

-likes to leave little notes in your locker and sign them 'your secret admirer'

-even though you know it was him

-"thanks for the note Andy!" "What note....note? not me....I'm not sure who that's from...we'll have to find out!"

-he trys to sit with you at lunch, but his friends usually drag him to their table

-so he'll drag you with him!!!

-very smiley when he's around you

-you are literally his happiness

-loves spending alone time with you because that's when the real him comes out

-not the 'im faking it because I have to live up to the name'

-the name being a star wrestler

-laughs a lot around you

[t4tpumpkinduo]

if those text post about the sa stuff is about cq i am baffled with how blind someone has to be to be that bad at media literacy and racist hello

no like. lmao it's super abt cq and yeah. it's horrible.✌️ i like don't even know where to begin w what an awful take it is. can we be people.

it's just uhh. well. imo not good to take v v lighthearted joke/outta context bits that aren't given narrative weight and then spin them into something they Never Were for some like. idk. leeway? is that what it is? leveling the playing field? i see this talk abt cquackity frm a lot of ppl (v consistently in cdr*blr, just to paint a picture lmao.) but the one that makes me the saddest is frm ppl who rlly like cschlatt and wnna fight back at his unjust bigoted fanon treatment by being unjust and bigoted to. another character?  like. ok? 😭

the worst thing is, for the second group, (first group don't matter i'm not wasting my time arguing w ppl like that), is that it's coming from ppl who are like. all things considered completely right abt cschlatt! it's absolutely correct to get upset abt an addict being demonized, having all his actions taken in the worst faith imaginable. having joke bits that don't have narrative weight treated as hard canon when that's not the case at all, just to paint some stupid picture that woobifies and dilutes other characters at his textually supposed to be sympathetic expense. it's ridiculous! that's all true!! cschlatt sweep forever that's my special princess like i agree!!!

so if you can understand that taking bits where he's like slapping cqs ass, or making boy prostitute jokes at cfundy, or batting people around jokingly/w no narrative weight are clearly meant to be at most shitty jests w no added pressure to them, and painting it as smthing else is disingenuous and transparent. why the hell are you taking like this abt cquackity then 😭 why the hell are HIS actions suddenly being scrutinized w the same rightfully critiqued incorrect lense! it's just sowugrrugrbrfnjfk

and on top of that, you cannot divorce the way ppl look at things and the way they filter them. like uhh for example. there's a stream where ckarl just like drugs cquackity. he puts heroin in his shit and it causes him a psychotic break and q chases the guy like an animal abt it for quite a while until he sobers up. ckarl also called him like ugly and stupid and unlikable and at one point hunted him down with an axe across the map bcs he left him at a joke altar. and i have never once in my life seen ppl freak out at ckarl abt it and go ohhh he must be a secret abuser oooh. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT TRUE AND SHOULD NEVER BE A TALKING POINT IN THE FIRST PLACE 😭 OBVIOUSLY!!! it's not supposed to be taken that way in the narrative at all. ckarl is explicitly a good guy, who means well and likes playing pranks on his friends who he loves dearly enough to sacrifice himself for them over and over. there's no awful weight to these actions he's playing his damn touys. when shit is meant to be held to a standard it literally just is held to it the dsmp isn't subtle there's no way around it. and if smone tried to tell you anything different abt it the ridicule they'd deserve would be astronomical.

ctubbo tried to drown ctommy and spent the whole time giggling abt it. that doesn't mean ctubs is some kinda freak abt it because it's treated in the narrative as a bit. ctommy hits and lashes out at cjack a lot. it's never treated or supposed to be taken as ctommy fucking abusing him. 😭 cschlatt and cq make jokes at eachother and it just point blank is never coded in any other way than them doing bits and speaking in freak tongues and having gay ghost sex infront of cq's fucking dad and being light hearted assholes to eachother until we get to the scenes where weight IS being applied. and even then it's not abusive it's human conflict between equals. like fuck's sake.

and idk. like i said, it rlly is interesting that it's applied to those character specifically. and the hypocritical gross ass double standard of it all is suddenly like. so ignorable huh how weird. so you see specifically the addict character who's at most an asshole as some uniquely scary demon evil abuser despite him not being that at all. you see this mentally ill deeply psychotic dude who's at most an asshole and think he's a violent freak who beats his brother even though he clearly isn't. you see this brown character, one of the ONLY ones, and suddenly yr stumbling over yrself abt how he's a violent assaulter and also fantasy racist to white characters despite all the. wow yr rlly cool and normal and not transparent at all hahaha. wow. hah. what a world.

anyways yeah like. i'm not gnna engage w this fuckass topic no more gensrs. it's bad for my blood sugars it's bad for my liver i've said my piece i'm done i'm sick of it. 👍 i'm just gnna start blocking even more ppl and focusing on the good of the fanbase instead. sucks that it's so common and unchecked but whatttt can you do except keep sending ghouls and devils to their addresses. if you have this wack ass "interpretation" do us both a favor and fucking block me. sword slash through the chest and you're on fire.

[gaybd1]

pls allow me to make a long life update ramble here bc im sick of irl people not understanding at all

I feel like I have a feel disconnected points to make

People like me aren’t meant to get bachelor’a degrees and we’re DAMN SURE not meant to get master’s

I’m 1000% just in survival mode right now and there’s theoretically a month left to go but idek if I’ll make it that long tbh

It has taken me YEARS to figure out a healthy/sustainable work-life balance that goes with my executive dysfunction but that’s NOT POSSIBLE working full time AND doing a degree

I’ve been feeling guilty for resting at all lately (and probably should) but yet if I don’t my health suffers majorly

It has always been hard for me to get simple things done, but now I can’t even THINK about simple necessary errands like walking to the supermarket or going to get a cell phone number or updating shit at the bank because ALL my energy goes to keeping me and my dog alive, keeping a job, and trying to stay in this program

I have delayed my transition by YEARS to pay for all this which was definitely the wrong call ughhhhh

I worked SO hard all of K-12 to get into a good university, when it came down to it didn’t even want to go, was too depressed to apply to hardly any, chose my best option still not knowing what I wanted to do but forced into it and forced to take out all of these loans when I didn’t even know what they meant.

Ended up never dealing with audhd shit, trauma shit, didn’t know what I was doing with my life, tried to get jobs to pay for school but couldn’t handle class and jobs at the same time so got more depressed until I stopped going to classes altogether and got kicked out

That would have been great for me tbh but I still didn’t know what else to do so I begged them to let me back in which they did and I ended up barely graduating with some pointless major I just chose to get me a degree. And also $80k of student debt I had no way to even comprehend knowing how to use

Didn’t know what to do after that either so I ended up in retail for a couple years before I got a random rare opportunity to get me out of there and doing what I always wanted

Well. I felt like I needed to make up for lost time degree-wise and ended up basically begging myself into this half-shitty program that culminates in this masters. I applied maybe five years ago, waited a little over two to start until I had money to pay for it (this is after fleeing the US and the 80k lmao) and somehow killed the first year of it.

I took another year and a half off trying to figure out the rest of the money which I eventually did and that’s how we end up here. I will hopefully have the degree in October but will still be paying for it the rest of the school year rip

So financially this sacrifice is obviously huge and on one hand I never thought I’d be able to do it so yay me and on the other hand I have NOT been able to pursue v v important trans stuff which I notice and deal with eVERY GODDAmn day thanks AND I will also probably not be able to make my every-18-month visit home next summer with my family which also gODDAMN SUCKS because family was EVERYTHING to me growing up and they’ve all forgotten it and probably think I have too but I miss those mfers so much and they would never buy a flight to come see me so.

ANYWAY yeah in undergrad I could NOT do a job and school at the same time so I’ve been proud of being able to handle it this time around but the last fourish months of this program are so intense and I am NOT handling it

Like I have done SO WELL up to now so I feel like I just GOTTA keep going but it’s SO HARD and I’m TOO STUPID and I’ve been told my whole life I’m not meant for higher education and now BOY DO I KNOW IT

I’m just trying to keep going. I order food and groceries to my house. I’m putting off super important errands and appointments as long as I can because I JUST CANT GET THERE I CANNOT WASTE SPOONS ON CELL PHONE PLANS RIGHT NOW I’m just trying to stay alive holy shit

I hate feeling so incompetent in my personal life especially because I’ve always put my professional life first out of like. Fear of losing it. and I KNOW this “laziness” is justified bc I’m spread so thin AND have executive dysfunction and a chronic illness but holy shit it still feels bad scoob. So fucking bad.

I think what I need to do is arrange time off work just to get this all sorted and finished but I’ve literally never taken a day off in my life so I’d feel bad and have MORE anxiety figuring out how to do it lololol ahhhhhhhh