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chocogigi · 3 months ago

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I've marinated in my own little bubble enough to start thinking reasonably again about this chapter

🌸 The obvious first point is that of Lindell/Lewellen. I have various theories about this and dare I to say every single one of them leaves me disappointed.

The first is the fact that RY forgot and no one in the editing room told her "LOOK, YOU ALREADY GAVE THE MAN A NAME" with a bright red sign and they went with it. To me is the most possible one, but doesn't shed a big thumbs-up for RY and Red Room team.

The second is the fact Liam is the one in Fourth Wing to say to Violet and Tauri they were fostered by Duke Lindell. Xaden never actually says it himself. Which leaves me with a question: Was Liam lying? Not about the fostering thing but about WHO fostered them? In Iron Flame we hear about Lewellen by Xaden (he says Lewellen is on their side and the power transferred from House of Riorson to House of Lewellen after the apostasy). In the bonus chapter Xaden says Lewellen took guardianship of them and trained them. So, was Duke Lindell a cover-up? Leadership knows about the fostering but Tyrrendor was able to fool them? Because Tauri says Lindell is a LOYAL MAN and Lewellen just goes in direct opposition with it (I mean obviously the man lies but still)

The third one is completely crazy and refers to the "the truth differs based on who's telling it". Is Xaden lying? AGAIN? But it would make no sense because we know he's an unreliable narrator for Violet, we know he lies to her about topics and stuff and we know he withholds informations. But can he be an unreliable narrator FOR THE READERS? That would also mean he believes his own lies and that he lies to himself. So I'm giving this stream of consciousness a big NO NO.

🌸 This brings me to a new topic...so what about Aretia? Does Lewellen know they're rebuilding the place? In the last chapter of Fourth Wing, Xaden says something about aristocrats not knowing, and would they take notice of Aretia, he would lose the city and his head. With Duke Lindell I would have went with the whole "obviously he doesn't know", but if we change it to Lewellen who's on the rebellion's side...DOES HE?

🌸 The bit about Imogen. I'm very glad she cleared it. Like we had questions 😂 But I still do. From Violet's pov she just disappears, like I believed she actually used her signet on her squad, but now I'm thinking she wasn't important info enough to know...she was fake vomiting in the infirmary? lol

🌸 Dain is an entire other chapter. The suggestion about him being the insider who took the wards down is just bunkers to me. And very well leads from a very jealous Xaden. The entire chapter Xaden's attitude towards Dain is childish at best and he's being a territorial asshole over Violet. He's an ass. But Xaden also knows Dain doesn't know about the venin situation, he says it himself in the chapter and it's also the real reason Dain's life is spared in Iron Flame after the torture chamber. Like Violet showed him Resson, the man is described as having an epiphany and is quick to spring to action based on it. I don't want to believe he'd endangered a whole outpost just to follow his dad's orders? Dain's a stubborn ass when it comes to rules, but he would never endanger Navarrians, especially Mira?? Like he could never.

Also, Xaden's an inntinnsic, wouldn't he know? Wouldn't he read him? Unless, Dain had his shields up. But I want to believe if it wasn't just a baseless accusation at his physical form and because he's being jealous of Dain, Xaden would actually use his second signet.

🌸 Which makes me LOL the entire next point!! As readers we still don't know "here" about Xaden's second signet, so obviously it doesn't make it through the page and we have shits like "MY SHADOW WOULD TELL ME IF THERE WAS SOMEONE". Like RY, GIRL!!!

🌸 The seat arrangement is wrong, tho? Whyyy

🌸 I love Liam. I want to see more of Liam in Xaden's povs. He really is as everyone imagined he would be on fanfics. Which, actually cracks me up, because we NAILED HIM.

🌸 Xaden being a total simp. This guy's world clearly spells V I O L E T and it kills me. Is ShE tHiNkInG aBoUt mE?

🌸 Xaden being so clearly in love but so clearly an ass? Why did he wait so much to tell Violet he loves her?? I get the whole "I don't want to tell you because you wouldn't believe me and you would think I'm telling you just to shut you up", but why didn't he tell her when SHE TOLD HIM? (I just want to vent for the sake of it, because I love the way he declares in Iron Flame, BUT STILL IT'S LIKE 6/7 MONTHS AFTER???)

🌸 Sgaeyl is a whole mood and I love her. The way she teases Xaden? The way she mocks him? GO GIRL 💅 (she's also very clearly in love with Tairn and we love to see it)

🌸 I think RY is setting us up. Xaden says something along the lines of "it's difficult to lie to Violet", but boy if he keeps lying to her like he's drinking a glass of fresh water. But I also think this may sparkle again rumors about her second signet, which narrows to only two possibilities to me:

ONE, Violet is going to be a truthsayer. I think there's a high chance, since the whole "I need informations to center myself". Also, she's very aware her old self was naive enough to blindly believe and trust her family and her partner. She needs to discern who's saying the truth and who's lying to her. I also remember few passages in Iron Flame during the Melgren meeting where she pinpoints Xaden and Mira are easily lying. Could very well be because obviously she already knows the truth there. Also, the addendum to one of the chapters that highlights truthsayers are more terrifying than inntinnsics but Navarre lets them live.

TWO, she's going to have foresight as a second signet, which I would LOVE. Makes also sense to the whole Melgren is now here and we need to deal with him situation, because Violet wouldn't be limited to marked kids and I know we don't like Melgren but he could be a teacher to her, since, in a limited way, he does see the future and its possibilities. Another addendum in one of the chapters say there's never been a foreseer in Navarre. And I don't believe it's there by casual chance. It also would explain the visions and it makes sense in the "need of informations" trajectory.

🌸 Sgaeyl saying Violet doesn't deserve Xaden if she doesn't forgive him for the least of the lies he told her when they leave Montserrat 😂

🌸 Mira?? Helloooo, I loved it! I want to know more about how Xaden reacts around her.

The OFFICIAL...no I'm just kidding lmao. My chapter twenty-seven (Xaden's POV) community discussion post. Spoilers below the cut ✨

🌟 Ok let's start with the biggest glaring inconsistency—Xaden implying that he and Liam were taken in and trained by Lewellen.

EXCUSE ME? Rebecca????? You said they were taken in by Duke Lindell, that's what you told me! You mean I slaved away over a map creating a whole backstory and character for this fucking guy and now he doesn't even exist?? I'm????

This changes the whole game as far as I'm concerned, like there's a big difference between them being raised by some random loyalist we've never heard of and the guy who took their duchy or whatever and is now in charge of the whole kingdom? I don't know how to take this seriously either because like...that's very much not away from prying eyes, how is this guy, who's a political figure training them while also maintaining his supposed loyal status to the kingdom?

ALSO, I have a damn map, Lewellen is WAY far from Aretia, so how on earth were they going there? I'd assumed maybe Lindell was living somewhere closer, but if we're saying it's Lewellen now...what the fuck, Rebecca?

🌟 Ok. Next topic. LIAM 😭😭😭 I can't, I can't handle the pair of them on a page together. He's exactly how we fanon'd him in Xaden's presence alone an I need a moment. "Was it us?!" I'm ???? I cry. 😭 I might actually write some angsty Violiaden after that.

🌟 Next order of business. HE LOVES HER. Why is he saying he loves her so many times? I love simp Xaden, but he's so sure of himself, but he refuses to fucking tell her for another year? What the FUCK Xaden???? 🤯😭 I do not like this for him. For her. For me. Nope. Love him though, truly, fr.

🌟 The Imogen dagger delivery is exactly what we all hypothesised but in this instance it does feel very retconned. Like I'm fine with it but also an 'Imogen's unwell' line in the original novel wouldn't have gone astray, so personally I'm not sold this was planned all along but I'll roll with it. I feel like the info about how the wards work and how someone had to have taken them down from within the keep also supports this being a retcon/something forgotten about or not fleshed out yet from the original book. Again though, it's fine.

🌟 Let's talk about DAIN. Why are we saying someone helped the fliers from the inside and took down the wards and then saying Dain is suspiciously out of breath and slower than normal? Why are we doing that? Rebecca???? 👁👄👁

🌟 Xaden: Violet's going to bolt, I don't know how I'll ever stop her even though I'm 6ft tall and I picked her up and carried her five seconds ago. Oh, I know! I'll kiss her!

🌟 Sgaeyl!!!! I love her so much my sassy queen! And did she basically say she loves Tairn? Yes, she did 😭 They're the best, your honour!

Thoughts? Feelings? Discuss!! (please) ⬇

#fourth wing #fourth wing spoilers #the empyrean #bonus chapter reaction

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callsign-rogueone · 10 months ago

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It was so nice to see this message after a very long day and a killer migraine. I honestly cried a little (in a good way!). Thank you so much for your lovely reply. ❤️💐

More of my thoughts / Director’s Commentary ⬇️

I had the idea for this series after reading a theory online about signets being a way to fulfill your most base need as a person. I wanted to make Angel a mender, but she cares more about people than plates, so I made her the next closest thing to a healer, while still in the rider’s quad since she has to be (she’s marked).

The confusion about her signet causing her pain was kinda on purpose 🤭 in the beginning she uses “mender” to describe herself, and others do too, because that’s what she’s been told by her professors, but after Bren puts the idea out there that she could be something else, I started slowly replacing “mended” in her dialogue with fixed, healed, etc.

The whole “thinking she’s just weak / soft for not being able to handle the pain until Bren confirms that it isn’t normal” thing was a nod to my own chronic illness. I thought everybody was dealing with pain all the time and I was just weak for not being able to function through it, only to discover that the "normal amount of pain" is zero. I was in disbelief for WEEKS.

and yes! banter! friend group dynamic!!! my absolute favorite thing about the books. I got the special edition of FW the other day, and there’s bonus chapters in the back in Xaden’s POV where Garrick makes fun of X for simping for Violet (1000% worth the read, they're circulating on tiktok and on here if you don't want to buy another copy!) and that inspired much of their relationship in this chapter. Garrick loves provoking X, and honestly, I think it’s 50% because he thinks it’s fun and 50% because he knows X needs an outlet for his anger, and that they can wrestle it out safely instead of X taking it out on someone else or doing something he'll regret. that got deep fast lmao anyway…

as for the squads mixing, I just love Violet and her friends too much to not include them! I love the idea of them being like little siblings to Xaden Angel and Gare, who are only children, especially since the series thus far is big on found family over blood.

And yes!! I really wanted someone else other than Garrick to come comfort her at the end. Don’t get me wrong, A+G are endgame, but she has a whole support system outside of him (Bren helping her figure things out, the whole gang in the library and at breakfast). Plus, Xaden is incredibly sharp, and having known her for two decades, he knows how deeply affected she is by these things, hence why he refused to let her go back to the school in her state after she couldn't save Li. (I put an Easter egg in there somewhere about that, by the way. IYKYK.)

Also I love that everyone is just calling this reader Angel now, myself included. It feels like she’s one of the gang now 🥹 I love her sm and I want to write more of her, so I’m sneakily including her in my fics for Liam and Bodhi as a friend of their gfs, but I am also itching to write a prequel chapter where she gets her signet, more "slice of life", non-angsty moments with her and Gare, and of course, what made all those sunflowers pop up in the hallway. 😉

what was I made for? - g.t.

Garrick Tavis x Marked!Pacifist!Reader (continuation of keep her safe) The aftermath of War Games has you questioning your purpose, and what your signet truly is. wc: 4.4k 🏷: FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME SPOILERS (I have 50 pages left, but I just can’t do it. send help.) canon-level violence, injury, canon character death, self doubt, anxiety. oops, I made Dain tolerable again. angst, then happy, then more angst. I also skipped over a smut scene / just made a reference to it happening, so if anyone wants that as a separate post, lmk and I can make it happen 👀 thank you to everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on part 1! it means a lot to me 🫶

Riorson House is more your home than Basgiath ever has been, but it’s become foreign to you in the three years you’d spent at the college. It feels like you’re hallucinating as you wander the halls.

Maybe everything that’s happened in the last few days has been a hallucination -- it wouldn't be the first time Varrish or Carr had pushed you to delirium with the amount of pain you’d taken for others.

Maybe it’s a dream. That’s it. A really bad dream. Any moment now, you’re going to wake up in Garrick’s bed and get ready for morning formation, and you’ll forget the sight of Liam dying by breakfast, when you’re sitting across from him at the table like you always do. Violet’s screams of pain will stop playing in your ears, replaced by her laughter at one of Ridoc’s jokes.

But no matter how much you pinch at your skin, you aren’t waking up. This is reality.

“I hear you’re a mender, too,” someone says in a gentle voice, bringing you out of your daze. Violet’s brother, Brennan.

“Does it ever get easier?” You ask quietly. “Does it always hurt this much?”

“Mending becomes easier. Seeing that kind of stuff every day doesn’t,” he replies, and the exhausted look on his face tells you he’s being honest. “But it shouldn’t hurt. Tell me more about that.”

“The second person I mended was a scribe who’d fallen from a ladder in the library and broken her leg. I did everything right, the bone set properly, but my leg hurt for a week, right where she’d broken hers.”

Brennan is silent, letting you continue.

“They broke Garrick’s arm in RSC. I was able to fix it for him, and I took the pain, but they broke it again two hours later. I mended him and Xaden over and over until I collapsed. I didn’t wake for two days. They both still think it was just exhausting for me. They don’t know about the pain.”

The tears are coming openly now, dripping down your cheeks, and you bring a hand up to wipe them away with the sleeve of your flight jacket. “But it isn’t all bad. I couldn’t save Liam, but I was able to make him more comfortable in the end. I took his pain away, and let him go in peace.”

You don’t tell him what death feels like. No description you could give could adequately prepare anyone for the cold sensation that still lingers in your chest. It will likely remain there for the next few days.

“Hey,” he says softly, “We’ll figure this out, I promise. For now, just try to get some rest.”

You nod quietly, looking back up at him. “Can someone please tell Garrick that I’m okay?” You ask in a small voice, folding your hands in your lap. You’d been heartbroken to realize that the rest of the squad had left for Basgiath before you woke, leaving you here alone.

You didn’t get to say goodbye to any of them, and you don’t know when you’ll see them again. Or if you’ll see them, you think, but you push the thought away quickly. They’ll survive. They have to.

Brennan cracks a smile - everyone in the rebel cause is aware of how deeply Garrick loves you. “Of course.”

“Cadet Mairi died alongside his dragon, who was attacked by a drift of Gryphon riders. Cadet Avan attempted to mend them, and died trying,” Xaden says levelly, staring down the group of professors on the dais. “They both died honorable, but preventable deaths.”

Garrick knows Xaden is lying, knows you aren’t dead — or you hadn’t been when they left for Basgiath, at least, but his friend’s words have him on edge. Have you woken up yet?

Chradh speaks into his mind, sending a wave of hot rage through him. “Relax.”

“Relax?” He echoes, irate. “You’re telling me to relax right now, when-”

Chradh doesn’t bother to argue with him. “She is safe under the care of the silver one’s brother, where she will remain until the moment is right. It is better this way. She won’t be in pain anymore.”

Chradh doesn’t elaborate further. Fucking dragons and their constant need to speak in riddles.

The rest of the quadrant spends the night drinking and congratulating themselves on surviving, but Garrick doesn’t touch a drop of alcohol. The three of you were supposed to do this together. It wouldn’t be right to celebrate without you.

“We’re gonna start from square one, with something that can’t hurt you,” Brennan says, placing two halves of a cracked plate on the table in front of you.

It’s simple enough to make the pieces rise into the air, using the same magic required to make a pen write for you. You concentrate, willing the halves to fuse together. They touch, and you think you’ve done it, your heart leaping, only to fall as they crash back down to the table again, splitting into even more pieces.

Brennan touches one of the shards, and they glue themselves back together perfectly; no cracks, no trace of the plate ever having been broken. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let me keep trying,” you begin, heart pounding. Brennan can’t think you’re a failure, not this early.

“You could sit here with this plate all day and it wouldn’t change,” he says gently, confirming what you know deep down. “I don’t think you’re a mender. I think you’re something else entirely.”

You sit with the information for a moment.

“Signets take the form of our base need as a person,” he says. “We need to find out what that is for you.”

You already know. “I wake up every day grateful that Xaden bargained for our lives, but I have done too much harm in my time at Basgiath. The crown has done too much harm to Tyrrendor. All I’ve ever wished for is to fix that, to undo the pain.”

“To undo the pain, or to help move forward and grow?” He asks gently.

You aren’t sure.

You go through your morning stretches, as always, focusing on your breath to distract from the pain in your side.

“Your mate has returned.” Tab says, interrupting. “Thought you’d like to know.”

You bolt upright, running through the house toward the gates, bypassing Xaden to sprint straight toward Garrick.

He wraps you in a warm embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head. You still fit together like puzzle pieces, even after months apart.

“You’re alive,” you breathe. “Nobody would tell me anything, I was worried sick,”

“Of course I’m alive, angel. Had to come back to you.”

You trace the Lieutenant’s patch across his collarbone, memorizing the shape. It looks natural on him, like it’s always been there. It sounds good, too. Lieutenant Garrick Tavis.

“I need to tell you something,” you say quietly, “I haven’t been entirely honest with you about-“

Footsteps approach. “Sorry to break up the reunion,” Felix says, “but Avan, we need you.”

There’s something in his tone that has your heart pounding. Which of your friends is it going to be this time?

“Tell me later,” Garrick says. “Go. Do what you were made to do.”

You know he means well, but his words tie your stomach in a knot. What you were made to do. Were you truly made to endure the suffering of others?

Every muscle in your body feels like it’s on fire as you slump into a chair, sitting down for the first time that day. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to get some sleep before you’re needed again.

“There you are. I didn’t see you in battle brief.” Garrick says, relieved.

“Haven’t been going,” you mumble. “They need me here. Bren’s teaching now, so s’ just me and one other mender.”

He realizes no healers had come with the riot from Basgiath. You likely haven’t left the infirmary since they’d arrived.

“Come to bed,” he coaxes softly. “You need sleep. You can't pour from an empty cup.”

Yes, you can. You have been for months.

He takes your hand, not giving you a choice. You lean into him as he leads you up the grand staircase to a room near Xaden’s. Your muscles protest every step, but you keep quiet.

You haven’t been in here for years, not since you’d left for Basgiath as candidates, but it’s exactly the same as you remember; dark drapery, bookshelves, a neat display of the knives that he hadn’t taken to school with him.

The sight has you in tears.

“Whoa, hey,” he says softly, pulling you closer, and you whimper in pain at the pressure against your ribs. He lets go immediately. “Angel, I’m sorry — are you hurt?”

You sob, the dam finally breaking and grief flooding out of you. You haven’t seen each other since that horrible day, you haven’t seen anyone from the squad you went with to Resson, haven’t had anyone to talk about it with, until now.

You shake your head, tears dripping down your cheeks. “I couldn’t save Liam. I tried, I really did. All I could do was take his pain away.”

So Xaden had told Basgiath the truth, to some degree: you tried to fix Liam, and couldn’t. The boy’s death had hurt you badly enough that Xaden wouldn’t let you return to the school.

“There was nothing else you could do. Nobody could save him, not after Deigh…”

“I know that, but it wasn’t just him. Everyone I’ve ever… fixed, I’ve taken the pain from their body into mine, and I can’t get rid of it for days.”

Garrick’s heart breaks. So that’s what Chradh meant when he said you wouldn’t be in pain anymore if you left Basgiath. Those eight-hour days of mending infantry may as well have been torture for you.

Torture. RSC. You’d healed his wounds, Xaden’s, Bodhi’s, Violet’s, time and time again without complaint, and he knew it took a lot out of you, but not that it hurt. “Angel, why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known…”

“I wanted to,” you sniffle, “I wanted to tell you a year ago when it started happening. I thought it was normal, that I was just weak, until Brennan told me that this doesn’t happen to him. He just gets tired, like everyone else does when they use their signets too much.”

You try to steady your breathing, but the pain in your not-broken ribs is too overwhelming. “I’ve spent hours practicing and I can’t even fix a broken plate. I’m not a mender. I don’t know what I am. Nobody does, not even the professors. Brennan thinks it’s getting better, but I don’t have it in me to tell him that it isn’t.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. He wants to pull you into an embrace, wants to stroke your hair and tell you it’ll be okay, but he doesn’t want to hurt you any more than he already has.

“S’ not your fault.” You sniff.

“But it’s not yours, either,” he reminds you gently. “You’re so strong, angel. You crossed the parapet, ran the gauntlet, you bonded a dragon, and you’ve endured everything else. Please don’t ever think for a second that you’re weak.”

He takes your hand in his, watching your face carefully, but you don’t wince at the touch. “We’ll talk to Brennan tomorrow, together. For now, I just want you to get some sleep, okay?”

You nod silently, having run out of tears.

“Attagirl.”

As you settle into bed next to him, freshly showered and wearing one of his warm sweaters, you swear the pain has dimmed.

When Garrick takes you to see Brennan the next morning, he isn’t alone. Your professors are seated beside him, along with some of the Tyrrish elders.

Devera speaks first. “We owe you an apology, Cadet Avan. The faculty was unaware that Carr and Varrish were using your signet as a method of punishment, or that it pains you to use it.”

“And I owe you an apology,” you say quietly. “I should have come back after the War Games.”

“That was my decision,” Xaden says firmly, “and I stand by it. She was in no condition to return to the school, much less to graduate and be stationed at an outpost across the continent from her support system, while still feeling the coldness of Cadet Mairi’s death.”

How does he know that you could feel it? Had you told him in your delirium? Had Brennan told him? Had you even told Brennan?

“Your friends have effectively plead your case, and we agree that you have satisfied all the requirements for graduation from the Rider’s Quadrant.” Emeterrio says. “Congratulations, Lieutenant.”

Garrick slips your flight jacket onto your shoulders, and you notice the Lieutenant insignia has already been sewn on, to match his. When did he…?

You accept the handshake Devera offers you, still a little dazed, but there’s one more order of business to address.

“May I rejoin my old squad?” You ask the table of professors quietly. “They are family to me. I would like to ride with them again, and aid them however I can.”

They exchange hesitant looks, and your heart sinks. Do they not think you’re good enough?

“I don’t see why not,” Brennan says firmly enough for everyone else to agree — he outranks the professors with the years he’s been part of the movement.

You exhale in relief.

Garrick cheers. “The dream team is back, baby!” He pulls you into a gentle embrace, knowing you’re still in pain, but wanting to hold you close.

You laugh, not minding the ache in your ribs.

Xaden is unimpressed. “When have we ever once called ourselves the dream team?”

“We haven’t, but I’m starting now. It’ll stick. I’ll have it embroidered on your flight jacket, Xay.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Xaden replies, setting off a brotherly argument behind you.

You look to the leadership once more, bowing your head in respect. “Thank you. For everything.”

Devera gives you a warm smile. “I am glad to see you have found your place here, Lieutenant. Remember that your empathy is a gift, even in times of war.”

Empathy.

“Am I dismissed?” You ask.

“Yes, Lieutenants, you are all dismissed,” Emeterrio answers dryly, looking over your shoulder at Garrick and Xaden. The latter has the former in a playful headlock, messing up his hair.

“Human boys,” Tab says, exasperated. You laugh in agreement, leaving them in the Assembly room to sort themselves out.

It’s easy enough to find who you’re looking for — he’s the only person sitting completely alone in the mess, a textbook open in front of him that he isn’t reading. He’s gazing into the distance, eyes unfocused, but he looks up when he realizes you’re standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “about what I saw in Varrish’s office. I had no idea how much you all have endured. What we are taught in Navarre is only one side of the story, but you showed me the other.”

“I’m glad I could help change your mind.”

He reaches into the pocket of his flight jacket and extends a hand. Your protection rune sits in his palm, complete with a new leather cord. “A peace offering. I stole it back from Varrish, and Brennan mended it.”

You smile, taking it from him and slipping it back over your head. “You’re turning into quite the rule-breaker, Aetos. But thank you. It means a lot to me.”

You’re about to leave, but something compels you to impart a piece of advice. “I know how it feels when people don’t want to trust you because of your family history. It’ll take a while for some of them to warm up to you, but you can make it go a lot faster if you keep yourself out of trouble.”

Your first flight back with your squad is supposed to be easy, a surveying flight with a small riot, just to check their perimeters, but you can’t seem to quell your anxiety as you take off.

“We will be fine, gentle one. We’re in strong company,” Tab reassures. He stays close to Chradh, knowing Garrick’s proximity will calm you. “How does it feel to be back?”

“Good. I’ve missed this.”

“You have always enjoyed being up this high,” he agrees. “Shall we review some of our basic maneuvers?”

“Sure.” Maybe that will settle your nerves.

“Hold on.” Tab dips, practicing all the angles — banking right, left, up, down.

“Something is wrong,” you blurt, and Tab straightens his path immediately, falling back into the formation. Every nerve in your body pulses with a sensation you’ve never felt before, standing on end. “Something really bad is going to happen.”

You’re right.

“Wyvern,” Tab warns just as they come into your line of sight. They charge straight at the front of the riot, where Sgaeyl leads the pack.

You’re outmatched, nearly two dozen of them and only ten of you. You’re going to die here. At least you’ll be with your best friends.

“That kind of thinking isn’t helpful!” Tab scolds, tightening the formation.

One gets too close for comfort, spewing blue flame, and Chradh banks hard - too hard. You gasp in horror as Garrick is thrown from his seat down to the ground below.

“Dive!” You yell, and Tab follows without hesitation, making a near-vertical drop.

You’ve never been so grateful for the running landing they’d taught you last year. It had been excruciating to execute on top of the pain of unbroken bones, but it’s just manageable now after a few days off from the infirmary.

Clutching Failsafe for dear life, your only defense, you sprint toward Garrick’s limp body, ripping off your goggles.

His heart still beats, but multiple bones look broken, his breathing labored. Touching him is almost unbearable, which tells you he won’t last much longer if you don’t do something.

Deep breaths, like Brennan had taught you, to accept their pain as it entered your body, holding it before batting it away like a fly.

You still haven’t figured out how to make that work.

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, and you start to berate yourself; Why can’t you do this? Compose yourself. Garrick is going to die if you can’t pull it together. Garrick is going to die, just like Liam did, because you aren’t strong enough to fix a fucking plate.

Anger overcomes you for the first time since you’d watched your parents die six years ago. You scream, a sound like nothing you’ve ever heard before splitting the air. The pain dissipates almost instantly. For the first time in two years, your body isn’t aching, and you sob in relief.

Garrick bolts upright, gasping for breath as spring blooms across the snowy plain, trees with bare branches suddenly teeming with green leaves.

Tab roars in pride and the rest of the riot joins in, the cliffs shaking from the volume of their celebration.

“Lifebringer!” He thunders into your mind.

Your head snaps upward, and you realize that the ground is littered with motionless wyvern.

Garrick pulls you to your feet, brushing the tears from your cheeks. “Come on, angel,” he says, grinning, “we have a war to win.”

You’re still dazed as Tab brings you back to Riorson house, Garrick helping you dismount and leading you inside.

“We have a weapon,” Xaden says, actually smiling as he faces the assembly. “Something, someone, that can destroy wyvern in their tracks.”

Garrick keeps you glued to his side as Xaden tells the elders what happened, but it’s all in one ear, out the other.

You’re dismissed after a few minutes, heading back out to the mess, where your friends gather around one of the large tables in the library.

“Tab called me lifebringer,” you say, confused. “What is that?”

“I thought it was just folklore,” Violet says from a few rows down, scanning the shelves, and everyone turns to her, listening. “Lifebringers are said to influence healing and growth. In some cultures, they’ve been credited with ending famines by rejuvenating harvests, and saving the innocent from the grasp of Malek and his Death.”

“Wicked,” Ridoc appraises quietly.

“Aha.” Violet produces a thin volume, cracking it open to the right page. The illustration there looks uncannily like you.

“Only the purest of heart can be lifebringers, those who hold no malice toward their fellow man. The weapons they carry are sharp, but unused,” she reads aloud. “Garrick gave you Failsafe as just that — a failsafe. You never drew blood with it. You never hurt anyone except in challenges, when it was kill or be killed, and even then you held back.”

Bodhi speaks next. “With most signets, the stronger the wielder’s emotion, the more powerful the ability becomes. You feel empathy for the wounded, so you can fix them and ease their pain, but when you thought Garrick was going to die, that was another level of distress, and I guess it was enough to overcome the dark magic.”

Garrick squeezes your shoulder in reassurance that he’s still very much alive beside you.

Violet closes the book, setting it down.

“I’m not in pain anymore,” you whisper, still dazed. You’ve almost forgotten what that feels like, having spent the last three years holding both your own and that of all your friends.

“You needed an outlet,” Xaden says. “Pain makes it harder to channel, and you were in pain 24/7, which is why the professors thought your signet was underdeveloped. Getting angry, and getting that energy out of your body allowed you to use the full extent of your power.”

“If I had known this earlier, do you think I could have…” you don’t finish the sentence. Everyone in this room knows how hard you’d tried to save Liam.

“Maybe,” Violet says quietly, “but that is not a path you want to go down. Trust me.”

“Do you want to explain why the hallway was full of sunflowers when I went to bed last night?” Xaden asks slyly, dropping into a seat in front of you with a plate of eggs and bacon.

You burn with embarrassment.

Bodhi grins. “You see, cousin, when a man and a woman love each other very much, - ow, fuck!” He exclaims, rubbing the back of his head where Garrick had whacked him.

“At least they didn’t set the vale on fire,” another of your squadmates says, looking at Xaden and Violet pointedly. “You still owe me for putting that out, by the way.”

Your eyes widen as you connect the dots. “So all that dry lightning last year was you two…”

“Okay, changing the subject!” Brennan says loudly, not liking the way this conversation is headed. “We need to figure out how to use your signet without endangering Tavis’s life again.”

“Well, it sounds like they already found another way,” Ridoc says, grinning, but he squeaks out an apology as Garrick begins to rise from his chair.

You tug your boyfriend back into his seat by the sleeve, looking past him at Brennan. “I think I need to work a few days in the infirmary between flights,” you propose. “If I build up enough pain, I could probably-“

“NO,” the whole squad says at once, Tab included.

“Your healing is only to be used when absolutely necessary,” Xaden orders, and even though you’re on equal footing now, both newly-minted Lieutenants, you agree quietly without protest.

“See, that’s your problem,” Sloane says, and all eyes turn to her. “You defer to literally everyone. You’re an officer now. Act like it.”

“Pardon?” You ask, looking at her in disbelief.

“That’s exactly what she’s talking about,” Imogen cuts in. “Pardon? You can’t even discipline a first-year cadet. Do you really think any veteran rider will ever listen to what you have to say?”

“Enough,” you say firmly, your nails digging into the wood.

None of your friends intervene, not even Brennan. This has to be another nightmare. There’s no way they'd hang you out to dry like this. Right?

Sloane isn’t finished. “It’s a miracle you made it out of Basgiath alive. You’re too soft. If you won’t kill anyone, what are you going to do when it’s between your life or someone else’s? Their life or his?”

The mention of Garrick is your last straw. “That is enough from both of you, Cadets,” you reprimand. Thorny vines burst from the seams of the table, whipping out toward them, and they stagger back to avoid being cut.

You startle, your heart pounding against your ribs as you realize what you’ve done.

Sloane is the first to apologize. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean any of it. I just thought that provoking you might…” she doesn’t finish the sentence, looking down at the still-twitching vines covering the tabletop.

“We definitely took it too far,” Imogen adds, sounding genuinely remorseful. “That was a really fucked up thing for me to say. I’m sorry.”

Bodhi waves a hand, and the vines slither back into the table, as if they were never there.

Your eyes widen at the blood on his cheeks — he’d been caught in the crossfire. You touch his face with a shaky hand, only brushing your fingertips across the skin, and the scratches disappear instantly, leaving no trace of the harm you’d done.

Somehow that makes you feel worse.

“Well,” Garrick says in his section-leader voice, “that was certainly informative, but none of you are to ever disrespect her like that again. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” both girls answer quietly, heads lowered in shame.

Your breathing has steadied enough to speak. “I understand why you did that, but I’m not going to tell you that it was okay, because it wasn’t.”

With that, you take your plate and leave. Nobody follows you.

The balcony door slides open, soft footsteps approaching.

“I want to be alone, Gare,” you say quietly.

“Not Garrick,” Xaden replies, settling down next to you on the stone floor, “and you may want to be alone right now, but you probably shouldn’t be.”

“I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Xay. You know that,” you whisper. You don’t move your gaze from the potted plant in front of you, as if you’re worried it will lash out at you — or him — if you turn away.

“I know, angel. I know.” He exhales deeply, a gentle cloud forming with the warmth of his breath.

There’s a moment of quiet before he speaks again, just the sound of the cold wind over the valley and the distant footsteps of cadets running on the trail below. “Working through this is not going to be easy, but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

You’ve come to hate that notion, everyone’s insistence that the pain you’ve been through has primed you for more pain, different pain. Why can’t it ever end?

#Garrick and Angel #garrick tavis #nice people #liz.txt #director's commentary #fourth wing

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