#baby Russian CUP WINNER

[chanelfunnell]

NHL mailbox

two more mailed questions

A) anon I don't cover the troll Ashley and her trash talk on her fan blogs trashing wags. Kathy Leutner has never been a stylish dreseer as much as she loves orchestrated photoshoots with Pens wags. I guess it is her awareness about Sidney Crosby's height and a tiny gap between her own lanky figure she is still short for a catwalk model but she is 5'9 or 5'10, Sidney is around 5'11 so she skipped the heels and went for sneakers. Big deal..all above.

I can't see her on NYE group photo of Pens wags but it looks to me she wears a black rollerneck so make your opinion lol. Not close to a baggy jeans by Isabel Marant on Oiler Wag but accompanied by shiny sexy top and heels. Do not let me start with real look of Ashley Troll and her trashing wags and women generally....she loves Crosby and cameras madly like Kathy L and her only genuine interest close to her heart was Blackhawks top lol sexy like on Kathy lol

B) anon I feel very sorry for these juniors just from hearing about it. It is bad if Bedard's ,playmate, Stan's children and junior club was cancelled by top big wigs who request bribes to let talented juniors to play. I don't think the grandson of the basketball champion from Brno was drafted by Golden Knights Las Vegas from 105th place in NHL draft if the guy was a wooden idiot nepo baby. It works in his home country but not in NHL. 105th place is not great but it is still elite selection based on certain set of skills than walking on the ice with ice hockey stick lol.

Maybe the Mr Big Mouth who comes from Marketa's HC Slavia should stop trashing a talented junior and gossiping about M who covered female basketball in Brno before she got into ice hockey bcs she dated soccer player. Was he drafted by NHL? Does he cover NHL based on each game and viewings? Maybe his TV should pass the baton this year to brainy witty beauty Marketa expert as a host of their award for Czech ice hockey player. Stanley Cup winner Palat trolled by non sporty fling of Jagr as a nasty gal for his purchase of a soccer club in Plymouth UK wher is the base of UK Royal Marines, once under Marketa's little toe. No green beret so a rogue for imbeciles based on Czech movie apparently. Seriously?

Maybe comparing notes with TV commentator from HC Slavia and a junior from the basketball family about a team spirit One for all, All for one. miss or Mrs M apparently locked him with not scoring always from Prague running, like Trabant playing Count Z Pallfy in the locker room lol M went with the girls swimmers to the wash room of the night club called Yellow Submarine where M got out by the window...no idea why and her swimmer friends teased her for a long hair of Milan Baros and Liverpool's Yellow Submarine. Baros grew a long hair based on other Czech soccer guy friend but so J Jagr has been with a long hair since then. Not his mullet. These juniors from Czechia has had tremendous spirit of the fighters with agile work with the shortened offensive zone. Shame they have to pay 10.000 bucks to stay and play to ex communist amateurs stuck in Stone Age so their chavs have money for clothes and fun. No surprise Meghan Markle has found the sound board here. Russian comrades will real results when it comes to their dirty history and nepotism with corruption. We saw the photos, absolutely no beauties with Photoshop or not lol

[misharoux]

This is sitting in my drafts and I have no idea what’s been posted, so here. 

[buttercupjosh]

Happy National Boyfriend Day to all of my current favorite hockey boys🎉💜. Every year, I highlight my favorite band members (I used to post about this on insta but I stopped and ya girl has never had a boyfriend) on this day and since I’m a full time hockey clown, I’m going to highlight hockey players. (I know my chances of actually dating a hockey boy is extremely unlikely but it’s fun to talk about them). In no particular order, here’s a current list of hockey boys running around rent free in my head and this is subject to change at any moment:

-Tyson Jost (curly haired cutie who drinks respects women juice, is pro-BLM and is a Cup winner in my heart. I hope he succeeds in Minnesota)

-Cale Makar (Conn Smyth and Norris winning, Cup champion, fellow Scorpio, humble icon)

-Mikko Rantanen (my sweet Finnish Cup champion prince, fellow Scorpio)

-JT Compher (a ginger cutie who moved in during the Avs Cup run)

-Andre Burakovsky (2x time Cup winner, will be missed while he starts a new chapter in Seattle, will forever look cute with puppies and babies)

-Tyler Seguin (this cutie is the reason why I love hockey so much)

-Brock Boeser (Mr. Sensitive, Prince Charming. he’s been through a lot in life but still shows humbleness and I admire him so much for that)

-Elias Pettersson (fellow November Scorpio, long lost Sedin brother, streetwear king)

-Quinn Hughes (he moved back in after leaving for a while. I think napping together would be a vibe)

-Jason Dickinson (anti-racism cutie)

-Andrei Svechnikov (emotional support Russian)

-Teuvo Teräväinen (another Finn that I’ve become attached to)

-Sebastian Aho (another Finn that I’ve gravitated towards)

-Martin Necas (sugar boo) (if you know, you know)

-Brady Skjei (best known for an iconic SNL skit, fellow Harry Styles and Taylor Swift fan, sliver haired cutie)

-Nico Hischier (Swiss prince)

-Ryan Graves (I know it’s overused but vampire giraffe that reads anti-racism books)

-Joel Farabee (buzz buzz king who helps carry the Flyers on his back)

-Travis Konecny (radiates raccoon energy, has pretty eyes and is a married father)

-Roman Josi (I know he’s married and has children but he’s very attractive. My Swiss king, who has verbally supported the growth of women’s hockey and BLM)

-Phil Myers (I hope this giraffe will succeed in Tampa, my emotional support bottom pairing defenseman)

-Anthony Beauvillier (bark bark cutie with eyes that are so blue, you could drown in them)

-Mathieu Joseph (2 time Stanley Cup winner who’s Black, I wish him the best in Ottawa)

-Colton Parayko (gentle giant with a college degree and looks great in glasses)

-Jakob Chychrun (drinks anti-racism juice and his house is so nice)

-Pierre-Luc Dubois (a cute fridge who’s also a dog dad and is anti-trump)

-Jacob Markstrom (I know he’s going to be a father soon but this is my emotional support goalie and I miss him in Vancouver)

-Mitch Marner (I neglect him because of one of his teammates but he is a Directioner and dog dad so I’m here for him)

-Nolan Patrick (indie music king)

-Gritty (PURE CHAOS THAT I L*VE)

[sagemcmae]

20 Questions - Writer’s Edition

Thank you for tagging me @chierafied​ 💕💕💕

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,820,522

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Technically, 2 (Star Wars and Inuyasha), though it looks like (5) because of the cross-overs

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Reylo) He angled his head away just enough for her attempt to miss before he brought both her arms down in front of her, so he could wrap his hand around both of her wrists. With his free hand, he cupped her face, forcing her to look at him.  “It’s done.” He had a warning tone in his voice. “Yield.” MMA fighter, Kylo Ren is suspended from the league and sentenced to community service at his uncle’s martial arts academy. There he meets Rey Niima, a recent graduate with a natural ability and incredible potential. Two Truths & a Lie (Reylo) “My favorite color is black.” “I prefer pizza over cake.” “I think I'm falling in love with you.” Or in others words, Kylo Ren, Editor-in-Chief, should not drink alone with his beguiling staff writer, Rey Andor after hours. Silver & Gold (SessKag) Kagome finds a wounded stray in the park and takes him in. Seemingly indifferent to her, the dog serves as a quiet companion who eases her loneliness. He becomes a constant in her routine until one night changes everything. Kagome wakes up to an arm draped around her waist — a pale arm with purple markings. Lessons in Parenting (SessKag) Sesshomaru finds Rin not as a child but as an infant. Unsure how to care for a baby, he seeks help from the only trustworthy human he knows: his brother's miko. *2nd Place Winner - 'Best Characterization' for Feudal Connection's 2021 3rd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards!* If Found, Please Return (Reylo) Rey knows what it's like to be abandoned, so when she returns a lost dog to his posh Manhattan address, she gives his owner an earful. The only problem is, the dog's owner isn't the arrogant redhead she screamed at. It's Ben Solo, the world-renowned actor. And he's just offered her a job.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes (or at least I try to). If someone takes the time to read my story and leave me a note, I want to thank them. Each time I see a new note in my Inbox, I’m like 😍😍😍 And I understand how busy RL can be so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to let me know their thoughts.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? If you’ve read my work, you know I’m not big on sad endings. I prefer happy ones, mostly because life is draining enough as it is. But in terms of fic endings, if I had to pick one, I’d say: Before the Dawn.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? This is a tough one. I guess it depends on how you define ‘happiest’. If you categorize it by the fluffiest (it’s all about the feel-good vibes 🥰 ), then I’d have to go with Melt or First Words for the SessKag fandom and Sight Unseen for the Reylo fandom.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. I’m not sure if it’s the craziest one, but the one I’m most proud of is Happenstance which is my Inuyasha/Harry Potter crossover, featuring SessKag. I put a lot of research into it to meld the worlds together without compromising what makes each fandom so special to me. It’s definitely the fic that I’m most proud of writing.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yep, a lot of people think Reylo is a toxic relationship. And there are those who have strong feelings about SessKag too. Some have commented to me about the fact that Yashahime is canon and SessKag is dead....which makes me laugh but whatever helps you sleep at night.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? I have but lately it’s been a struggle. I focus more on intimacy (in whatever form that takes depending on the pace of the story).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I’m aware of...

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a few have been translated into Spanish and Russian.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Waaaaaaay back in the FFnet days, a friend and I co-wrote a fic together but between our RL schedules we never finished. I actually don’t even know if it’s still posted since it was under her account.

What’s your all time favorite ship? That’s another tough one. TRoS really burned me and my love of Star Wars has suffered for it.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Of Scales & Sky. I was so excited about this fic but my motivation has died from all the discourse in the fandom and the on-going saga of bad decisions Disney makes in regards to the SW franchise.

What are your writing strengths? Characterization is very important to me. Even if I’m putting the characters is a very non-canon premise, I want them to remain as in-character as possible.

What are your writing weaknesses? Finding the time to write. 🥲 This year has been particularly chaotic for me for several reasons.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I did write some Japanese when I re-entered the SessKag fandom with Silver & Gold. I had one very adamant reviewer who kept DM-ing me that I sounded stupid and should stop. It was very discouraging. After asking around in the fandom, other writers suggested doing what I wanted but if I’m writing in English, the primary language should remain English.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Labyrinth. When I was 13, my friend and I used to go to her house after school, sit on separate couches across from each other on our separate laptops, and write fanfiction. (*smiles* those were great times!) I often wrote in my notebooks (instead of taking notes in class) and was constantly posting on FFnet. But I also never finished anything because I was constantly distracted by other things.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s like asking which child is my most favorite. 😂🤣😂 Happenstance is the fic that I’m most proud of. I feel like as a writer, it was the most challenging for me because of the continuity of the story line with the element of mystery. Shadow Song was written on a whim and quickly became one of my favorites and then there is Sanguis Sanguinem Meum which flowed so naturally that I wrote the entire thing in a couple of months.

Tagging: @sereia1313 @harlecorn @tmwillson3 @reysexualkylo

[buckybarnesbingo]

What the Pic? - Pic Summary Game

Aim of the Game: Provide some kind of summary for what is going on in the pic.  Thank you to our Party Mod @ariasfandom​ for facilitating!

@saganarojanaolt - A chase ended badly

For the baddies

---------------------

@pherryt -  "In retrospect, letting Steve drive the van had been a bad idea. Too bad nobody listened to Bucky"

---------------------

@liquidlightz -  Steve knew he shouldn't have let Sam drive... Bucky just couldn't resist hiding up on the roof and tearing out Sam's steering wheel when he least expected it... for old times sake

---------------------

@lokivsanubis -  “Honestly driving had changed a lot since 1943. What’s this automatic mean?” Steve is honestly confused. Bucky sighs, “Next time I drive.”

Keep reading for more!

@lokivsanubis​ -  Clint just looked at the key then back at the door. Bucky paused, “are you sure you live here?”

---------------------

@liquidlightz - Steve had been struggling to get a handle on his new body after the serum... looks like it's back to 0 days since the last mishap.  Good thing he can just break the lock and get in that way, who needs keys anyway.

---------------------

@pherryt - "Bucky glared at the broken off key. He just wanted to grab a shower and hit the hay. He hadn't even been using the metal arm. He wasn't Steve for God's sake, just breaking things willy nilly. Which meant... Sam. Sam's prank had gone too far this time..."

@lokivsanubis​ -  Steve still wasn't' sure 100% how this photo survived all these years. And yet here it was as he looked at at his best man and then back at his partner. 

 "Don't worry Babe," Bucky assured them. "You've got yourself a winner in Stevie." 

 "And don't worry." Clint assures from the side, "We definitely ate that pizza." 

Steve just wanted to curl up and die. That photo was 5 years and at least 90 lbs ago.

--------------------

@liquidlightz - What the hell Buck?" Steve exclaimed as he bent down to check Clint was still breathing.  "You open the door inward, not out at people!" 

 "You're the one who installed it after your last little episode... maybe you should have read the instructions as to which side the hinges go on!

---------------------

@saganarojanaolt - Clint has a fantastic aim, Drunk Clint has a fantastic aim too just sometimes for the wrong targets As Tony have learned the hard way when the cup hit him on the head just when he taken the pizza

@lokivsanubis​ - Sometimes it's the things you don't say that say everything. The fact that Tony didn't depart the plane told Steve everything he needed to know.  He put the flowers down and accepted his losses. The fact that Bucky couldn't let their relationship die here and was currently on a plane to California to drag Tony home is another story entirely.

@saganarojanaolt​ -  I can imagine all kind of explanation of why Tony didn't board the plane

And it ends in Happy end

@lokivsanubis​ -  i feel like Bucky would show up like 'WTF?' And tony be like hmmm? What do you mean it's thursday? JARVIS WHY ARE YOU MUTED!?

@saganarojanaolt​ -  Exactly

Or Avengers business

Or an accident

Tony got on the wrong plane

@lokivsanubis​ -  Tony trying to fly coach is just a disaster waiting to happen.

---------------------

@saganarojanaolt​ -  Tony gets into an accident, and because he doesn't have an ID with him - why would he? Everyone knows who is he - when he loses his memory he is noted down as a John Smith This protects him from the paparazzi but also from Bucky finding him

@lokivsanubis​ - ohh the drama i love it!

especially if they shaved his face or his hair for some reason.

so he'd look different

@saganarojanaolt​ -  nods nods

Surgery

Or it was bad guys who caused the incident - so they shaved him and thrown him off somewhere far away where he was last seen

---------------------

@liquidlightz​ -  Steve waited to receive his Russian internet match with bated breath and a humble bunch of flowers, they seemed so small now, he really should have gotten a better bunch on the way instead of relying on the airport shops, they were extortionate, maybe he should stop being cheap and go buy a bigger bunch...��

 as he considered his frugal choices he heard his name called out, and looked up to meet the most mesmerising sky blue eyes he could have never imagined, a shy tentative smile on a gorgeous face framed by luscious long wavy locks, and cradled to his chest in a sling, a little toddler...  asleep, while his dad struggled one handed with the luggage.

They were as smitten in person as they had ever been over their emails, and the flowers were graciously received but left forgotten for anyone else who might need them more... they both now had everything they needed and all their hands were full...

@lokivsanubis​ - though i'm imagining Bucky with Alpine in a cat sweater lol

but OMG SO CUTE!!

@liquidlightz​ - ha ha... plot twist... the baby is a kitten!

@menatiera​ - Bucky still doesn't know to this day how his phone ended up outside on the windowsill. He suspects either Sam's prank, or some kind of magical mishap from a practicing Sorcerer Supreme. Anyway, good thing he has a few Spiderfolks on speed dial, even if that means he'll owe a favor to one of them. Now to decide which one is the safest bet to be indebted to...

@dreaminglypeach​ - Has a few spiderfolks on speed dial, but he needs his phone to be able to call them to come rescue his phone… not sure how well Bucky has thought this one through

---------------------

@pherryt​ - that's absolutely Clint's phone. he climbed up on the roof to take a picture of something and then it slipped right out of his hands. Now Bucky's wishing Nat was here to help talk clint out of doing some aerial stunts without a safety net just to reach the damn thing. "Phones can be replaced, dumbass" Bucky's muttering. Clint, halfway down the wall already 'But it's got pics of Lucky and Alpine cuddling together!"

---------------------

@liquidlightz​ - Bucky had been insisting that he could scale buildings and climb through windows better than Nat could... which Clint scoffed at, nobody would believe him, and Nat refused to take up his challenges so he could prove his point. 

 She'd left him no choice; with Clint's help he'd managed to swipe her phone and abseil the side of Stark Tower to place it outside the common room window which he knew to be tightly sealed...  Steve and Clint had timed him as impartial witnesses. 

 Now Nat would have no choice but to retrieve her phone and everyone, including Jarvis, was placing bets and keeping a close eye so they wouldn't miss it when she made her move...

@saganarojanaolt​ - Nat quietly kills Bucky, while everyone is watching the phone, no one takes her phone unpunished

---------------------

@lbibliophile-mcu​​ - Bucky glares at Steve 

"But...!" 

"No. I've told you before, no playing on your phone during briefings. I thought you would have learnt from Clint's example last week."

 "But..!" 

"Calm down. Stephen can help you grab it again after the meeting. If you pay attention."

Steve never had these problems leading the Howlies... he just had different ones

---------------------

@your-ginger-angel​ - It's not Bucky's fault that he forgot his phone on the windowsill.  He'd been sucked into some stupid TV show Steve was watching and before he knew it, he was sobbing as character A professed their love to character B (he had no idea what the characters names were or what they were saying -- Steve had some damn good windows!) and then as Character B walked away, Bucky had put his hand on the window and cried, "Noooooo!"  Now, he doesn't think Steve heard him, but the movement had to have caught his attention because Bucky had been forced to made a quick climb up to the roof before Steve realized that Bucky was perched on the sill keeping an eye on him.

[shireness-says]

Studying the Tape

A hockey!Persuasion sequel snippet to skating in circles (with no way to stop). ~1k. Rated T for language. Also on Ao3.

A/N: For @welllpthisishappening and @optomisticgirl, who’ve been letting me scream about my team even though theirs was eliminated. Go Stars. We’ll let Laura and B have this fictional world where the Rangers are doing great instead. 

The Stars twitter posted a hype video the other day featuring players watching messages from home, so obviously that had to become fic in this ‘verse. I’m only human.

Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

It’s been seventy-something days in quarantine. Maybe eighty-something. Frankly, Fred’s lost track a bit; he just knows it was July when he left Kellynch to report for camp. Someone else can do the math. 

There’s a particular kind of loneliness to living in a hotel this long. He’s definitely not alone - he’s got bruises from Game 5 and a budding headache from the way that one rookie just won’t stop yammering to prove it - but it’s a loneliness all the same. Boring rooms in a tightly sealed bubble, just living to hit the ice again and the rare off-site rec day. 

Still, it’s paying off in its own way. Seventy-something days means they’re still in this, a cross-country hop later, about to play Game 1 of the goddamn Stanley Cup Finals in another empty stadium after defeating the Canes in five in the Eastern Conference Finals. 

The Rangers hadn’t laid a single finger on that damn trophy. The Avs, winners in the Western Conference, had practically manhandled the Campbell Bowl.

If Frederick was a more superstitious man, he’d say that luck was on their side for that alone.

There’d been practices, obviously, while they were waiting to find out who’d they’d be facing in the Finals, but they haven’t been able to watch film until today. The weirdness of doing this in a converted hotel convention room is starting to wear off, finally, but Fred can’t deny that it’ll be a relief to one day get back to their own facilities. With all due respect to Toronto and Edmonton. 

They watch (more or less). They listen (more or less). It’s routine (more or less), even if these event center chairs are fucking uncomfortable and he totally gets snapped out of the illusion of normalcy if he catches a glimpse of those tall ugly curtains. What’s less routine is the finisher.

“We’ve got a little surprise for you today,” their coach says. At the back of the room, someone’s fiddling with the laptop they’ve hooked up to the projector, the cap placed back over the lens for maximum suspense. They have to create entertainment where they can in the middle of all this waiting, he guesses. 

“Whoa, Coach, we’re in public!” Wicksy hollers, far too close to Frederick’s ear for comfort. For a variety of reasons, not all of them having to do with the volume.

“Go looking for those videos on your own time, Wick,” Harville groans on Frederick’s other side, ever the voice of reason. Speaking for both of them right now, honestly. “No one wants to hear about it.”

“Maybe Louisa, but we don’t want to hear about that either,” Fred adds. “It’s called a private life for a reason, Wicky. Keep it that way, I’m begging you.”

In a horrifying “speak of the devil” moment, Louisa’s perky voice sounds from the deceptively terrible speakers they’ve hooked up to the laptop. “Hey, baby!” she coos. “Congrats on making the Finals, I’m so proud of you!” 

To say that Fred nearly has a heart attack is an understatement, honestly. Of all the things he doesn’t want Louisa Musgrove to hear, this might top the list. As she keeps talking and his panic brain shuts off, however, it becomes obvious that this is a prerecorded video, not a live chat. Which makes more sense in retrospect, but panic brain doesn’t care about that in the moment.

The surprise, it turns out, is a whole compilation of videos from loved ones - wives and girlfriends and parents and a bunch of absurdly cute children, all wishing them good luck for the games to come. There’s so many blue shirts on the projector screen. It’s not like they’ve been totally cut off from the world inside the bubble - there’s still phone calls and texts and Zoom and everything else - but this hits differently. Watching everyone root from them here, on video, feels like the next best thing under these circumstances to being back at the Garden with everyone present to cheer them on. It’s not perfect - but it’s something. It’s touching, in a way probably no one will admit later. 

A cute little kid chattering away in Russian fades out - Frederick only caught “papa” and “Rangers” out of that adorable mess, but her dad beams and chuckles with what must be the dictionary definition of paternal pride - and a more familiar sight fades in. Anne’s living room. The powers that be must have caught on to that somewhere along the way.

“Hi, Frederick,” she says in that soft voice he knows and loves. Her voice isn’t loud, but the smile more than makes up for it, crinkling her eyes at the corners. “I’m so excited for you and the rest of the boys. I don’t know when you’re watching this, but it’s Tuesday here - you should have heard me yell when you scored that goal. Maybe you did,” she laughs.

(It had been a good goal, really - a lucky shot that tied the game to take them to overtime and win. Anne already told him how excited she was, but it’s always nice to hear again.)

“I know you guys are going to do great in the Finals,” she continues. “But I’m so proud of you for making it here, regardless of what happens. Love you, Fred. Go Rangers!” she waves to send them off. 

Frederick can feel the way his smile stretches his face as the compilation moves on to someone else’s family. It’s such a simple thing, really - probably took Anne all of five minutes to film, even with goofs, even accounting for whatever anxiety she inevitably mustered up. But - in the middle of this particular weird brand of loneliness, seventy-something days into quarantine bubble life, it means the entire goddamn world.

There’s more videos after Anne’s - even more videos for him , when a clip from Sophie and his nephew pops up (“Can you say ‘good luck, Uncle Fred’? Yay, Uncle Fred!”) - and Frederick’s smile barely fades the whole while. The rest of the room is similarly jovial, laughing and smiling at all the well wishers even as the Finals loom large over the whole room. 

And now - well, there’s nothing left to do but go win a Cup.

(He’s got a good feeling.)

[writerpeach]

Three Is Better Than One

Twice Momo, Mina, Sana

2175 words

Categories: smut, male reader, foursome, face-fucking

NSFW 18+

It’s dark, it’s too loud, and there are way too many people in the restaurant you’re in, sitting across from you is the Japanese line of Twice - Mina, Momo, and Sana. The four of you are indulging in a bottle of expensive Saké that was way past your budget, but you were celebrating, you can worry later.

“We’re going to be busy pretty soon, we should do it sooner rather than later.” Mina says and takes another sip, you’re not entirely sure what she’s talking about.

“I don’t know, are we even sure he can handle all of us at once? One touch at the same time and he might just pass out, “ Momo looks at you with that cute laugh of hers..

“Oh please, I think it’s the three of you that can’t handle what I can dish out.”

Sana finishes her glass and and slams it on the table, a smirk appears across her face. “Is that so? Maybe we should take you up on that offer, do you really think you can break us? We’ll see.”

It’s nearly midnight as you all enter your apartment, the four of you make your way to the bedroom, as Sana becomes in charge of stripping you, she pulls your shirt over your head, hooking into your waistband and yanking down your pants and boxers. Mina and Momo are too busy making out , but stop to undress each other, as Sana does the same with her own clothes until a massive pile of clothes appears that gets kicked out of the way.

The three gorgeous women take a kneeling position in front of the bed, lining all in a row, wearing absolutely nothing but black chokers.

Mina seemed to be in control of the situation, “Let's see what you can do. Don’t go easy.”

You’re already rock hard at the sight in front of you as you move towards Momo, she looks the most appetizing. Your cock meets her mouth, parting her red colored lips with your head as you dive into her mouth gradually, Momo presses her thick full lips around you, squeezing tight as you slide in further, widening her mouth as she takes in more of your length. You bring a hand to the back of her head, guiding her mouth further down your shaft, warming up her throat, and gently removing your cock. .

“Tap my thigh a few times or something if you need me to stop.”

“We’ll be fine. “ Mina says, seemingly speaking for the entire J-line.

Sana speaks up, “She’s right, now you better really give her that cock baby, fuck that pretty whore mouth of hers."

The vulgarity of Sana’s words was surprising to you, but also set the tone of the night. It let you know how far you could take things.

You push your hips forward and embed more of your cock into Momo's mouth, pulling out and ramming back in, within a few seconds your cock is all the way in the back of her throat, you give her a moment to adjust as her plump lips press against the base of your shaft.

Her lips feel way too good wrapped around your hard cock as you bring a second hand to the back of her head and begin to piston her mouth, adding more force and speed, fucking her face roughly as saliva starts to drip out of her mouth, coating her chin.

At the end of one of your roughest thrusts, you hold her head against your base squeezing ever so tightly, you’re not letting go as Momo really tries her hardest not to gag, her eyes start to water, but she’s convinced she can take it as you finally let up, pulling out of her mouth as she gasps and breathes heavily.

“You take his cock so well Momo don’t you? Look at how messy you are already. Let me show you how it’s done though.” Mina says, a real confidence in her voice.

It was Mina’s turn to be fucked, the ponytail she was sporting looked very inviting, as you enter her mouth, just as with Momo you start out slow, giving her time to adjust to your length, as you pull out slowly.

“I want more. Give me every inch of that cock, shove it down my throat and make me gag.”

Momo helps out, taking the back of Mina’s head and guiding it further down your cock. You grab Mina’s ponytail, using it as a handle, as you begin fill her mouth up with hard cock, thrusting in and out, being even rougher as you were with Momo.

It’s Momo’s turn to be in charge now, “You better fuck her throat hard baby, fuck her harder than you did me, make sure she fucking gags on your dick.”

You really didn’t think Momo had those words in her, they drive your arousal up the wall as you really lay in to Mina, giving her mouth full, deep thrusts that hit the back of her throat every time, pistoning her mouth as forceful and fast as you possible can, she does actually start to gag, you await for the taps on your thighs, but they never come as you continue trying to ruin her.

Mina’s face is an absolute mess, saliva is everywhere, her watery eyes have caused her mascara to completely run down her cheeks, her lipstick no longer exists except for being smeared past the tip of your cock.  

Meanwhile Sana is getting impatient, she's whining and wants a turn to be throated, she’s practically begging for your cock, she really wants to be filled up to the brim, she wants to feel your entire length inside her mouth, and wants to be completely used.

You pull your cock out of Mina and into Sana’s welcoming mouth, as with the other two you wrap both hands around the back of her head, turning her mouth into a tool for your pleasure as you throatfuck her at full speed as wet, obscene, slurping sounds come out of her mouth.

Momo and Mina are on each side of Sana, watching carefully.

“Take his cock Sana, take it you slut, take it all the way down your throat. Fuck her mouth harder baby, she can handle it, make her choke on that dick.”

The obscenity of Mina turns you on more than you thought it would. You do what Mina asks of, fucking Sana's face rougher than the other, making her the third girl to form tears in her eyes and making her mascara run. Sana's hands cling to your thighs, she's desperate to find something to hang onto to prevent herself from becoming overwhelmed. You increase force and fuck Sana's wet, warm mouth harder, impaling her throat with your hard cock again and again, she equally gags a bit but Mina was right, Sana can handle it, if she needed to she could tap your thigh at any point to get you to stop, but she wasn’t going to.

You exit Sana's mouth as she gasps, giving her a chance to breathe and recover as you alternate between the mouths of Mina and Momo, deepthroating each one back and forth as both of their saliva lathers your cock.

You're getting close, it's impossible to decide which of the three gorgeous Japanese women you want to empty into, you create your own version of Russian roulette, fucking each of their faces five times before moving to the next. Five thrusts into Momo's warm mouth, five thrusts into Mina's throat, and five into Sana's, starting over again but reversing the order.

You shorten each girls turn to three times, thrusting hard into Sana’s mouth and then Momo's, moving quickly to dip into Mina's mouth as she becomes the winner, you cum unexpectedly and grab the back of her head tightly with both hands as you shoot thick, hot semen all the way into the back of her throat, the volume makes her gag at first but she manages to gain her composure as you fill her mouth completely with cum, draining your balls, only until you are absolutely sure you have nothing left to give her do you release your death grip.

Not wanting to be selfish, Mina cups Momo's face as the oldest of the three opens wide, sharing your still hot load and spitting it into her mouth, she swirls it around and repeats the process with Sana, ensuring all three girls have a taste of your sticky delicacy before she returns the cum to its original owner, spitting back in Mina's mouth who finally swallows it down her throat with one big gulp

“Yummy.”

Just when you begin to recover, catching your breath, the three girls kneel back in front of you.

“We're not done with you yet, you better stay nice and hard for us. I know you have more loads for us. You don’t wanna disappoint do you?” Sana says, as she seductively bites her lip.

Mina takes the left side of your balls into her mouth, while Momo takes the right, sucking intensely and sloppily as your erection reforms almost immediately. You feel completely drained, but a triple blowjob was enough to make your stamina rise again for as many more rounds as you needed.

Sana shoves your cock back into her mouth, giving you the sloppiest of blowjobs, taking your hilt all the way down into the back of her throat, bobbing again and again with an ultra-fast tempo before she looks up at you, giving a sign for you to take control again.

You fill up Sana’s wet warm mouth faster and faster, not letting up as saliva continues to overflows out of her mouth, dripping down on her chest.

Not before long you feel a second orgasm forming, you pull out of Sana’s mouth as she gasps, you stroke your cock in front of her pretty face slowly as your release is imminent, holding her head steady with your left hand as multiple streams of hot cum hit her face everywhere, both cheeks, around her chin, her lips, sticking to Sana’s face as she’s completely coated in your cum. She sucks your no throbbing and hyper-sensitive cock, as she finally releases you. Mina and Momo come over to clean her up, the two girls alternate kissing Sana as your cum transfers from her lips transfers to theirs, they both lick cum off her face, doing their best to not miss a drop.

Your erection never loses strength after the show you’ve just witnessed, Momo now wants you to herself now and kneels before you, opening her mouth wide, making herself ready and willing for you.

“Give her that cock baby, fuck her slutty little mouth with your cock until you cum in it.“ Mina says, a lower tone in her voice but no less demanding.

Sana grabs a lipstick from on top the dresser, reapplying it to Momo's lips as the ready girl gives a loud smack.

Your cock re-inserts past her freshly colored lips and you begin to pump her face again at full velocity, you don’t intent to let up until you’re satiated and your cum is down her throat. You’re not going to last much longer as you push in and out of Momo’s tight wet mouth, staring into her eyes, her face is an absolutely mess just like the other two, her lipstick was already smeared again, the sight was incredibly arousing and before you have a chance to prepare your third orgasm of the night hits just as hard as the first two, and you erupt a final time.

Just as you did with Mina, you hold the back of Momo’s head tight, shooting hot, sticky cum into the warmth of her mouth, filling up her throat with as much cum as your body is able to release, gradually thrusting less and less as your orgasm subsides.

Momo is greedy however, and doesn’t want to share your load, she plays around with your cum in her mouth for a bit before taking two gulps, sticking her tongue out and proving that she has indeed swallowed it all.

“Holy...shit.”

You feel like you could pass out at any second, you’re still not sure how you had the stamina to give each girl her own load, you look down to see each J-line member completely spent, Momo, Sana, and Mina are a disheveled mess, they look, as you intended them to be, completely broken.

Mina breaks the silence. “I guess you are capable. That was..fun, we’ll have to do this again when we have time.”

[moonstarphoenix]

Cup of China Ladies SP Pt. 1

And we’re back to the Ladies short programs in the Cup of China Grand Prix. This week we’ve got the first baby Russian from Skate America, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva and Amber Glenn gets her second Grand Prix assignment. Let’s get started.

I will admit now that I don’t know most of the names in this first group, so please bear with me.

Yi Zhu makes her senior debut today. She won the US Novice Championship in 2018 but switched to China last season and placed fourth in the Chinese Championships. ‘Winner Take It All’ is a very on-the-nose selection. I love the color of her dress. She’s landing her jumps, but there not high in technical merit. However, she is a lovely skater. I’m not seeing much to really criticize. Except maybe the choreography could be more difficult. She’s got potential (my favorite phrase) but needs some refinement.

Hongyi Chen is making her senior Grand Prix debut but competed last season at Four Continents and Worlds. She landed her triple lutz and promptly sat down on the landing. I don’t like the over head camera. You can’t really get a sense of the element. I’m not feeling this short. It’s kind of blah. The music is pretty, something I might listen to at night to settle but as a skating program, I just didn’t feel it.

Yujin Choi has been on the senior circuit a couple of years, but this is first Grand Prix event. Well, the music took a turn. I was expecting a more traditional tango, wasn’t expect a ballad. She showing personality but her choreography leaves a lot to be desired. She could use some refinement as well. Wow that’s a lot lower than I would have thought.

Kailani Craine has been on the senior circuit for a couple of years. I think I remember her from the Olympics because she represents Australia. She wants to spice things up with her short (sorry couldn’t resist). She was doing well on her jumps until that final combo. It’s a cute program and she’s having fun performing it. She’s another that I think could benefit from a different coach. or maybe choreographer. Not a bad program but not the best either.

Christy Leung placed 9th at Skate America. She’s going to want to improve her placement this weekend. Is it just me or is there so spark with the ladies today? She’s doing a little better than Skate America. She should be in first easily. I’m still not on board with this program though.

Amber Glenn was so happy to get her second Grand Prix assignment and is the only American lady competing. She landed a lovely triple-triple combo. Could this be the year Amber breaks out? She’s making a case for herself. She landed all her jumps and is really selling this program. What a lovely short. I still don’t like the color of her dress but that was wonderful. She’ll finish the group in first.

Final group next.

[neularaver1986-blog]

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[abramsbooks]

RECIPE: Purple onion rings—with Action’s special sauce! (from F*ck, That’s Delicious by Action Bronson)

Onions make you cry like a baby.

Serves 6 to 8

The best part about onion rings is you can pile them up when you serve them. I use red onions because they have a little more zip to them. You could dip the rings in a coat of flour first before you dunk them in the batter for a puffier, more tempura-like crust, but in my taste testing the thinner rings are lighter and superior and stay crispy once they’ve started to cool off, like a kicked-up version of Funyuns. A rule of thumb: You can feed about two people with a really big onion.

2 cups (250 g) all-purpose flour

1½ teaspoons salt

½ heaping teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Tapatío or another red hot sauce

2½ cups (600 ml) cold

seltzer or sparkling water

2 quarts (2 L) vegetable oil

3 to 4 large purple onions, peeled

My Special Sauce (below), for saucing

Whisk together the flour, salt, and black pepper in a large bowl. This has to be mad peppery. I just grind until the top looks like black snow.

Now hit it with about 3 tablespoons of hot sauce, then whisk in that seltzer. (You don’t want to add flat water, because the bubbles make the batter airier and crispier.) Whisk until you have no lumps and it looks like a pancake-ish batter—when you move the whisk through the batter, you should see ribbons. Whisk in a little more hot sauce until the batter is a nice light pink, like the color of Russian dressing. You won’t taste the heat so much, but the rings will fry up a nice golden brown.

Put the batter in the refrigerator for 15 minutes to let it settle a little bit, then line a baking sheet or a plate with paper towels.

Fill a Dutch oven or stockpot with the oil just a little more than halfway up the sides of the pot. Heat the oil over high heat until the oil begins to shimmer. It should be around 400°F (205°C) if you have a thermometer, but otherwise you can tell when it is ready because of the shimmer.

While the oil heats, cut the onions into ½-inch- (12-mm-) thick slices, making sure to separate the rings. It’s better to make them a little bigger than a little smaller.

When the oil is hot, dip a few of the rings in the batter with tongs, flipping them once or twice so that they’re fully covered. Shake off the excess and then add them to the hot oil just 2 to 3 at a time so they have lots of room to swim.

Flip them with a clean fork when they just begin to turn brown—this should only take a minute or two. Let them cook for another minute or two, until the other side is golden brown, then remove to the paper towels.

Repeat, adjusting the heat of your oil as necessary. Don’t let it get too hot or too cool. But since you’re only making a few at a time, you’re good either way.

Serve these piled high with a side of Special Sauce. Obviously, the cook should keep the Special Sauce nearby the stove and just eat these as they’re ready.

RECIPE: My Special Sauce

I learned to make My Special Sauce about a decade ago at this Frenchie-type place on Chrystie Street on the Lower East Side, where I worked for like two weeks. I was the garde manger, which meant I was the one making salads and sauces and cold dishes and other small little shit. The head chef was amazing—it was a Frenchie vegetarian type of place, whole ingredients and organic, right about when I first started hearing about organic. But the owner—I didn’t like her and she didn’t like me, and she fired me. Even so, I learned four things from that chef that I’ll always keep with me. Number one is this herb and mayonnaise sauce, something he said he learned from his old head chef in Provence or some shit like that. He also made these chicken thighs where he cooked them skin-side down in a pan, letting them brown and brown and brown in their own fat, and then you eat those with this sauce. He taught me how to make real triple-fried fries, which also went with this sauce, and finally how to make cassoulet, which I also love.

Here we go, we’re gonna zap.

Makes 2½ cups (600 ml)

The actual making of the Special Sauce is fast and simple—you just zap it all in a blender—but it is phenomenal. These flavors are perfect together, which is why the Special Sauce is also now my universal sauce, meaning it goes on everything: chicken sandwiches, roast beets, smoked lamb, French fries, and the Purple Onion Rings above—that’s the combination I used to serve as a bar special. I often use twice as many garlics—I love that burn. I will say that the French chef used Hellmann’s, but when I first started making it I used Admiration, which is a little shittier, meaning it’s the cheaper brand you get at the restaurant supply store. And for some reason, in this, it tasted better.

5 large cloves garlic, roughly chopped

2 cups (480 ml) mayonnaise

2 tablespoons drained capers in brine

1½  tablespoons caper brine

Juice of 1 medium lemon (2 to 3 tablespoons)

1 cup (32 g) loosely packed, roughly chopped parsley, tough stems removed

1 cup (24 g) loosely packed, roughly chopped dill, tough stems removed

Freshly ground black pepper

Combine the garlic, mayonnaise, capers, brine, and lemon juice in a blender or food processor. Zap to roughly blend.

Add the herbs to the bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Zap for a second or two.

Now add ludicrous amounts of black pepper and zap it all until it’s all totally smooth and creamy, pausing occasionally to wipe down the sides of the bowl with a spatula so that you get it all in there. The end result should be somewhere between a dressing and a dip.

Taste for salt, adding more capers or caper brine if needed, or pepper or lemon juice, etc.

That’s it. This will keep in the refrigerator for 4 to 5 days.

New York Times bestseller Winner of the IACP Cookbook Design Award

This ain’t no cookbook. This ain’t no memoir. This is Action Bronson’s devotional, a book about the overwhelming power of delicious—no, f*cking amazing—food. Bronson is this era’s Homer, and F*ck, That’s Delicious is a modern-day Odyssey, replete with orgiastic recipes, world travel, siren songs, and weed.

Illustrated, packed with images, and unlike any book in the entire galaxy, Bronson’s F*ck, That’s Delicious includes 40-plus recipes inspired by his childhood, family, tours, and travels. Journey from bagels with cheese that represent familial love to the sex and Big Macs of upstate New York fat camp and ultimately to the world’s most coveted five-star temples of gastronomy. And: the tacos in LA. The best Dominican chimis. Jamaican jerk. Hand-rolled pasta from Mario. Secrets to good eating from Massimo. Meyhem Lauren’s Chicken Patty Potpie. And more! more! more!

For more information, click here.

[matshoemels]

14. things you said after you kissed me for steno

Rating: Teen and Up.

Steno + 14. things you said after you kissed me.

Sets right after the previous Steno prompt.

Also, #sorrykevin.

Before he got on a plane in a hasty decision, the only aim Marc had in his mind about his trip was to see his boyfriend. He just wanted to spend some quality time with him, and hopefully, get rid of the anger he inwardly carried with him since the game in a rather too pleasant way. You know, the usual stuff they busy themselves during a mid-week escapade like that. Considering they have only 36 hours, Marc didn’t have anything else in his mind.

He should admit though, the unusually warm weather in Cologne is a great bonus for him. Barcelona has been oddly cold during the whole spring, so the extra sunshine he’s benefiting in the backyard of Bernd’s house is more than a satisfactory addition to his trip. Of course, his boyfriend’s sole presence on his chest is doing the whole trick for him. Bernd in his arms, their limbs are tangled, heartbeats are synchronized, and his lover’s entire body is collapsed on top of him. Marc wouldn’t care about the sun this much if he were in Barcelona all alone, but with Bernd, it’s simply a blessing.

Marc hugs Bernd tighter instinctively, trying to make the most of the minutes he gets to spend side by side with him. He lifts his head a little up from the makeshift bed they did under the shadow of the oak tree Bernd has in his garden, and plants the most innocent kiss on his head.

(Considering what they were doing just fifteen minutes ago and how they’re still fully naked outside in broad daylight, it may have not be the most innocent kiss ¸ but still.)

Bernd stirs a little after that, as if he’s trying to make sure that all of his body is in direct contact with Marc’s. Marc can feel his boyfriend’s fingertips running up and down on his arms, legs, ribs, spine, or to be fair, on any part of his body where he can reach.

Marc wants to open his mouth and tell Bernd that if he continues to do things like that, there’s no way on earth that he can leave him and go back to Barcelona to play some more lousy, meaningless games. But everything around them feels so serene and comfortable that he doesn’t have the heart to ruin their moment.

“Shit. Shit shit shit shiiiit… SHIIIIIT!” Bernd exclaims in that very moment, and stands up as if he’s been electrocuted.

“What’s going on?” Marc asks with a puzzled expression on his face. He straightens himself up to find the t-shirt he had discarded thirty seconds after they reached to Bernd’s house.

“Today is the announcement day, how did we forget?”

It takes fifteen seconds for Marc to understand what his boyfriend meant by “announcement day”, and once he fully grasps the urgency of the matter, and panics way more than Bernd did minutes ago.

“Shit, did you get a call? Did I get a call?” he jumps from his seat to search for their phones. “What if they did and we didn’t hear our phones?”

Bernd joins him to look for their phones, and after five minutes of searching and swearing and yelling at nothing in particular, they find what they’ve been looking dumped somewhere in the living room.

“No calls,” Marc states with a clear disappointment. “You?”

His counterpart sighs in return, shakes his head to indicate that he definitely shares Marc’s disappointment. “No calls. And apparently all the others got their calls. See,” he lifts his phone up to show their WhatsApp group chat to Marc.

Marc sinks into the sofa, and just wishes to turn into ashes like half of the universe’s population did in that movie him and Bernd watched a few weeks ago.

“Maybe they wanted us to find out on TV this time,” Bernd says while sitting next to him on the sofa, he definitely doesn’t believe what he just said, but anyway.

“Everyone got calls. Why would they do that now?”

Bernd pulls Marc in close and holds him tight on his chest, and this time, it’s him who gives the other a head kiss. “Because they’re assholes?”

Marc doesn’t respond to that, instead he just focuses on Bernd’s hand in between his.

“I wonder who got selected instead of us, and like, I’m trying to come up with three goalkeepers from Germany who is better than you and me,” Marc finally says. “and… I know it’s arrogant of me to say that but, like right now, there’s no one else?”

“Well, maybe Manu is magically healed by a fairy who grants Löw’s wishes?”

“Okay but how about the remaining two?” Marc asks. “I was so sure that we’d definitely get selected.”

“Loris and Kevin? Or maybe Kevin and Ulreich? Maybe Loris and Ulreich? I don’t know.”

Marc snorts at all three possible scenarios and gets up to turn the TV on.

“What are you doing, babe?” Bernd asks.

“Well I wanna see who got our spots.”

Andi’s giving an interview about how hard it was to decide on a squad of 27 and how they were up all night having arguments. “Traitor,” Marc mumbles to the TV and then looks up to poke Bernd’s dimples.

“Wanna bet on who’ll be selected?”

“Hmm,” Bernd says while using the opportunity to sneak a kiss from him. “Winner gets to top during our obligatory grief-sex?”

“I like how that kinky mind of yours is working, Leno.” He grins at his boyfriend, though his mood is still visibly down.

“Okay. My bet is that it’s Manu, Ulreich, and Kevin.”

“Mine is Manu, Ulreich, and Loris,” says Marc.

Bernd rolls his eyes at Marc’s bet, because his boyfriend is a huge goofball who definitely doesn’t understand the shenanigans inside their national team.

“Loris will never make it, Marc, because of… you know, his thing. There’s no way they’ll select him no matter what he does.”

Marc’s about to open his mouth to lecture Bernd about not being this pessimist all the damn time and believing that some people might change their opinions, but his intentions are abandoned when he hears the intro music indicating that the announcement is about to begin.

“Well, guess we’ll just wait and see. As if we’re still in the U21s,” Bernd says with a grim voice. “Man, this is humiliating.”

The announcement video is started with the title, and the first person on the screen is Loris Karius, who is literally a baby compared to them. “Guess it’s you who gets to top tonight, babe,” Bernd says while he’s turning to his left to look at Marc. “It’s good that I already got eno-”

“Shh, Bernd, look, look at this,” Marc interrupts him. He’s pointing to the screen frantically at the same time and hitting Bernd on his arm at the same time.

“Are you out of your mind? What’s wron…. Oh shit.”

It’s Bernd himself on the screen, making some pretentious tricks with a football like how they wanted him to do when they were shooting those incredibly stupid publicity stuff.

For a while he’s unable to react about this, unable to say anything. If you ask him later about how he felt when he first found out that he is nominated, he definitely won’t be able to give a proper answer.

The slideshow is continuing while he’s completely frozen, and he barely realises that Neuer is also nominated. And after Neuer, it’s the man sitting next to him is on the screen, effortlessly being cute while kicking the ball around.

“Oh thank god,” Marc lets out the breath he’s been holding since they saw Bernd is been nominated. He closes his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves, and when he opens them, Bernd is sitting on his lap with the biggest grin on his face. “We’re going to Russia,” he whispers.

He leans in for a kiss, and Marc gladly accepts and meets Bernd in halfway. It doesn’t take long for what started as a calm and innocent kiss to become a heated make-out session, open mouthed and with teeth and tongues everywhere, making them both breathless and gasping for air.

Even when they finally draw apart to get the air they both annoyingly need, Bernd continues to pepper tiny little kisses on every inch of Marc’s face. Then, he stops altogether and cups Marc’s face with his adorably tiny hands as if he’s going to kiss him once more. Instead, Bernd just leans so close to his ear that he can feel his breath in his ear canal.

“Мы едем в Россию, любим,” he whispers.

Marc startles after that, looking at Bernd with wide eyes as if he just told him the secrets of the universe or something equally important like that. Of course he knows that Bernd speaks Russian to an extent, but that bastard never used the language in his vicinity before. He caught him completely off-guard like that, and wow, Marc would’ve never guessed he’d feel this hot-and-bothered by a single sentence in a language he definitely doesn’t know.

“You’re so hot when you’re speaking Russian, Leno,” he says in between kisses. “Don’t ever speak in German ever again, it’s so hot.”

Bernd giggles at his desperation as if it’s the funniest thing ever, and Marc’s so damn sure that there’s nothing more beautiful in the whole universe than the sound of Bernd’s happiness.

He’s about to suggest that they should continue their celebration in the bedroom, but they both received a message at the same time.

Group Chat created by Andi Köpke

Andi Köpke added Manu Neuer, Marc-Andre ter Stegen, Bernd Leno, and Loris Karius

Andi Köpke: u guys liked my surprise??? Hahahaha

I bet you all thought “ahhh man I didn’t get selected life is terrible”

Guess what boys waking up with blue hair was also terrible.

….

….

Btw sorry Karius you’re just a collateral damage in this.

“I hate him,” Marc only says. “I mean we’d be long dead without him and I actually do love him, but also I hate him.”

End notes: 

- Apparently Bernd Leno knows Russian, it’s something I recently found out so I wanted to include this in a fic as well.

- “Мы едем в Россию, любим” (My yedem v Rossiyu, lyubim) means “We’re going to Russia, love”.

- Sorry Kevin, but I bend the truth a little to fit my babiest blond goalie into the squad. #sorrykevin, but also #sorrynotthatsorrykevin.

[misharoux]

Ilu Vasy (via his insta)

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON: WOLF PACK BACK IN ACTION AGAINST BRIDGEPORT

BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT- The Christmas break has come and gone and that means that AHL action will resume on Friday night for the Hartford Wolf Pack as they travel in state to Bridgeport to take on the Sound Tigers. The Wolf Pack record sits at 17-7-2-5 (41 points) good for first place in the Atlantic Division. They are .40 percentage points ahead of the Providence Bruins as the midway point of the season approaches in just over ten days. The Baby-Bruins mix it up with the Pack on Saturday night at the XL Center. Hartford made two post-roster freeze movements yesterday. They recalled Shawn McBride for the second time from the Norfolk Admirals (ECHL) to replace Phil Di Giuseppe, who is on recall with the New York Rangers. The second move was to move goalie, Thomas McCollum, who signed an off-season, AHL free-agent deal with Hartford, from their ECHL affiliates, the Maine Mariners, where he's been since the start of the year, and loaned him to the Florida Everblades (ECHL). He replaces ex-Pack goalie, Chris Nell, who was traded to his fourth ECHL team of the year, the Atlanta Gladiators. Lias Andersson remains suspended by the team since leaving last Friday following a trade request. Given the rest that comes with the Christmas break, expect Igor Shesterkin to start in net in Bridgeport. Shesterkin put in a superb effort in recording his third shutout of the season against Providence in his last start just before the break. Adam Huska would then start Saturday night at the XL Center. The final home game of 2019 will be on New Year’s Eve at 5 PM against Bridgeport. NOTES: Former Sound Tiger goalie, Kevin Poulin, has signed an AHL PTO deal with Grand Rapids Griffins. Ex-Pack goalie, and currently with the Norfolk Admirals (ECHL), Brandon Halverson, received his second AHL recall this season. This recall is with the Tucson Roadrunners. Ex-Pack, Steven Kampfer, was recalled from Providence by Boston. Ex-Sound Tiger, Kevin Cuczman, was recalled from the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins by the parent Pittsburgh Penguins. Ex-Sound Tiger goalie, Eamon MacAdam was returned to the Adirondack Thunder (ECHL) by the Binghamton Devils. Forward Max Jones, the son of ex-New Haven Nighthawk and Senator, Brad Jones, was sent to the San Diego Gulls by the Anaheim Ducks. Goalie, Callum Booth, (Salisbury Prep) was sent from the Charlotte Checkers (AHL) to the Atlanta Gladiators (ECHL). Ex-CT Whale, and Ranger, Wojtek Wolski, leaves Kunlun (China-KHL) for the second time. He signs deal for at least the Spengler Cup with HC Ambri-Piotta (Switzerland-LNA). WJC TOURNAMENT The WJC tournament is underway and the first day got off to a wild and exciting start. The host nation, the Czech Republic, knocked off the Russian team 4-3. The Czechs are very passionate about their hockey and even more passionate about beating the Russians. The US and their traditional rival, Canada, kicked off the tournament with a wild game. Canada came away with a 6-4 win in a game that featured six lead changes. Alexis Lafreniere, the likely #1 overall pick in next summer’s draft in Montreal, was among the two Canadians stars with two goals. He had the game-winner and two gorgeous assists. The game-winner came just six seconds after the US overcame a two-goal deficit to tie the game at four. Lafreniere intercepted an ill-timed backhanded-pass in his own zone by US defenseman K’Andre Miller, a Rangers first round pick (22nd overall) from 2018. The right-handed shooting Lafreniere, picked the pass out of mid-air, moved in and then slipped a backhander just past the outstretched right leg of US goalie, Spencer Knight (Darien/Boston College-HE). The US took a 2-0 first period lead both power play goals. On the second, which came off the stick of Victor Kaliev, was started by a former Avon Old Farms player, Trevor Zegras. Captain Barrett Hayton of Canada, and the son of former New Haven Nighthawk, Brian Hayton, scored the first goal off a perfect redirect of a Lafreniere slap-shot. They made it a 3-2 lead on Hayton’s second goal after Lafreniere quickly cut to the middle of the ice and passed right to the stick of Hayton who wired it past Knight. The US' Shane Pinto (US Selects Academy at South Kent Prep/North Dakota-NCHC/Ottawa) scored twice including the power-play tally that evened the game at four. He had another called back at the end of the second because time had expired. Pinto, is part of several Connecticut connections on the US WJC team. The list starts with just the newly-anointed team captain, Mattias Samuelsson (Western Michigan - NCHC/Buffalo), who's the son of former New Haven Nighthawk, and Ranger, Kjell Samuelsson. Jack Drury (Harvard - ECACHL/Carolina), is the eldest son of former Whaler, Ted Drury and is also the nephew of current Wolf Pack GM Chris Drury. Both are the pride of Trumbull, CT and the Fairfield Prep hockey program. The US team will be playing in Group B in Ostrava, Czech Republic. Team Sweden has two Ranger prospects in defenseman Nils Lundkvist, and centerman, Karl Henriksson. They escaped their Scandinavian rival, Finland, in yesterday's 3-2 overtime win. Lundkvist played 23:18 and recorded a lone shot on goal. Some other familiar names are at the tournament include former Whaler, Robert Petrovicky, the head coach of Team Slovakia, ex-Ranger and New Haven Nighthawk, Raimo Helminen, is the head coach of Team Finland. Nick Malik is one of the three Czech Republic goalies. He is the son of ex-Whaler, Ranger, and Beast of New Haven defenseman, Marek Malik. UCONN BACK IN ACTION The Huskies (7-6-3 overall) were riding a wave of having played their best hockey at the Christmas and exam break after sweeping Vermont at the XL Center, lace them up in New Hampshire at the 31st annual Ledyard Classic in the non-conference tourney in Hanover, NH. The first game is against struggling St. Lawrence University (3-12-2) at Thompson Arena at Dartmouth College. The game will air live on NESN at 4 PM. On Sunday, UConn will play host Dartmouth College Big Green (4-4-2 overall) at 4 PM (ESPN Plus). The Huskies played St. Lawrence in Las Vegas at the T-Mobile Arena, which is the home of the NHL's Las Vegas Golden Knights, in a 6-3 win. Kale Howarth paced the effort with a goal and an assist. The Huskies last played Dartmouth on November 2, 2010 at the Thompson Arena and came away with a 1-0 win. The lone goal was scored by then freshmen, Jordan Sims, the son of former Hartford Whaler, and New Haven Nighthawk, Al Sims. The younger Sims skates presently with the Wichita Wind (ECHL). The Huskies are on a roll, winning four straight. They are on a 5-1-2 over their last eight games. Jonny Evans returned from a broken finger and jump started the Huskies offense with a hat trick against Vermont, their last game, a 7-4 win. It was the first UConn hat trick since Alexander Payusov registered one against AIC in October of 2017. Jachym Kondelik, the sophomore from the Czech Republic, has a five-game scoring streak (2-5-7). He's the leading scorer for the Huskies with 13 points. Ben Freeman has a team-best six-game point streak going (3-5-8) and is right behind Kondelik with 12 points. Kondelik’s fellow Czech, and Nashville Predator draft pick, and his roommate, goalie Tomas Vomacka, has started every game this season. UConn entered the break above. 500 for the first time since their inception into Hockey East. It's UCONN's best  break since Mike Cavanuagh’s first year at the helm in their AHA years in 2013-14 then at 6-5-2. The Huskies start Hockey East action again in the New Year on January 3rd. They will host Northeastern at the XL Center at 7 PM followed by Merrimack on January 7th in Hartford. The Huskies are not in the Top 20 in individual scoring in Hockey East stats, but defenseman Wyatt Newpower is in a four-way tie for third for the most blocked shots (17) and Adam Karashik (Ridgefield) is right behind him in a five-way tie with 16. Ruslan Iskhakov is tops in conference face-off percentage at a 71.4% clip. Read the full article

[bitsy83]

Sing 2 - Duets

(Just the first chapter of my fan-sequel to my new favorite movie. I just hope I can get this posting down ok.)  

Chapter 1 - A New Day

“I remember when I was a kid, my dad always told me to never let failure stop you from achieving your goals. After all, if all roads to success were easy, then everyone would be a winner. And you have to know how to lose in order to know what winning is really all about.

“Less than a year ago, I was an optimistic, but struggling, theater producer who barely had two pennies to rub together. My shows were failing, money was practically nonexistent, and I had more death threats than an Internet troll. My best pal, Eddie, told me time and again to just give up and let the theater go so I could move on to bigger and better things. What he didn’t realize was this was my bigger and better thing and I wasn’t letting it go for anybody. So, in a last ditch effort, I decided to do the one thing I knew would pack my theater to the brim: a singing competition! I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say this was both the greatest idea I ever had and the biggest mistake I ever made. I may have stretched the truth here and there about the prize money and maybe have put a bit too much pressure on my contestants and myself, which eventually led to the collapse - both figuratively and literally - of my beloved theater.

“I was a failure. A washed-up clown. A loose cannon, I believe someone stated. I had hit rock bottom, which meant one thing: the only place left I had to go…was up. But I didn’t do it alone…

“While I still had Eddie and dear Ms. Crawley in my corner, the competition introduced me a lively group of characters I would later on call my friends and close knit theater family. Johnny, Rosita, Gunter, Ash, Meena, and Mike. (Well, Mike when he wasn’t avoiding the loan sharks and killer Russian bears).  With their help, I was able to not only put on a fantastic show, but my theater was restored to its former glory, thanks to the illustrious Nana Noodleman.

“I swear, I’ve never seen this place so popular, not even when I was a kid! Obviously, I had to make some changes if I was able to make this second chance last.  Dear Mrs. Noodleman oversees the productions and gives insight on what should and should not be performed. We still put on various plays and concerts, but we’ve even gotten requests to use the stage as a wedding venue and other private events.  This is always good for a little extra spending money for any future shows we have, especially for my little theater family.  They still put on their shows and even help out backstage when their talents are not required onstage.

“For example, Rosita has offered to help out with prop and set design.  I guess when you are raising twenty-five children and one husband, organization and good imagination just come naturally to you.  Gunter has offered to be our official choreographer.  He’s an excellent teacher, though sometimes his students get a bit embarrassed when he breaks out the sequenced leotards.  While Meena has finally gotten over her stage fright and does occasionally perform, she happened to take quite a shine to working as a stagehand.  She’s hoping that it’ll help beef up her college resumes.  Poor girl’s been stressing herself out in getting into a good school so she can major in music and maybe even theater (a girl after my own heart).  

“Our up-and-coming rock star, Ash, has set an all-time record for rebounding after her ugly breakup with what’s-his-name.  Not only has she written countless new songs since her first solo performance, she reunited a few old schoolmates of hers and started a new band: Nature’s Rejects. (Not my first choice for a band name, but what can you do?)  This girl’s been getting gigs all over the city and has become a local celebrity.

“Last, but not least, Johnny.  I knew the second I looked at him that this kid was going to be a whiz on the piano and I was right.  He still gets lessons from Ms. Crawley, but he’s such a pro now that I think he only does it to have access to a piano.  Hearing him sing while tickling the ebony and ivory just melts your heart.

“The hands of fate has given me a new beginning. I may have taken a final bow at my old theater, but this revival will live on for generations to come! Or my name isn’t Buster…”

A knock on the door interrupted Buster’s monologue. “Good morning, Mr. Moon,” said Ms. Crawley as she shuffled into his office, holding a cup of coffee.

“Hold that thought, Ms. Crawley,” said Buster and quickly went to his camera tripod, turning off the recording button. “Looks like my auto-documentary will have to be put on hold. So, what is on the agenda today?”

“Well, let’s see…” With a shaky hand, Ms. Crawley pulled out her notepad. “Meena and Eddie will be working on the new sound system and lighting fixtures we ordered. Johnny will be in for his usual piano lesson. Oh, and Ash and her little friends will be using rehearsal room A for practice until about one, and then we start rehearsals for the new play. Rosita will be here early to help with the set design.”

“Excellent!” said Buster, sipping his coffee. “Just like a well-oiled machine.” He walked over to his window, taking a deep breath. “It’s gonna be a good day, Ms. Crawley. And there will be plenty more to come after that!”

***

“Honey, have you seen my car keys?” asked Norman as he was wiping Casper’s face with a paper towel.

“Coat pocket,” said Rosita, pulling an action figure out of Hannah’s mouth. “Ok, where did I put my binder?”

“On the counter near the coffeemaker.”

It was just another chaotic morning at the breakfast nook for Rosita and family, though the morning routine has had some upgrades. Ever since Rosita performed her song with Gunter, Norman saw her in a whole new light. After a long, heartfelt talk, he realized that he had been taking his wife for granted and should have been helping her with the kids as well as her new job at Moon theater. So now, Norman gets up with Rosita and together they help the kids get ready for school and getting their own schedules on track. Rosita was never one to complain, but she was so happy to finally get a little extra help in the morning as well as around the house. Although they still kept up her strange contraption to get the kids out of bed and do the cleaning while they were both at work.

So, after giving the kids their backpacks (Rosita did the girls while Norman got the boys) and sending them on their way, Norman and Rosita took a moment to fix each other up.

“Bye Norman,” said Rosita, straightening his tie.

“Bye bye, Rosita,” said Norman, handing her her purse. “Tell Gunter I said…what’s hello in German again?”

“Guten Tag. And I will.” Rosita chuckled and gave her husband a loving kiss. “See you tonight, honey. Have a great day at work.”

With that, Norman went to the car while Rosita hummed down the street in the opposite direction. It was gonna be a good day; she could feel it.

*** Meena hummed to herself as she was preparing the pancake batter. Since she was plugged into her tunes, she didn’t hear her grandfather come up behind her, trying to steal a few extra chocolate chips. His attempt was thwarted thanks to Meena’s mother smacking his trunk.

“No dad,” she scolded. “You remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure: cut back on the sweets!”

Grandpa just harrumphed and went to sit down at the breakfast table. “I still think I need a second opinion. That doc’s a quack.”

“He’s a duck, dad…”

“So I got a bit of a sweet tooth,” he continued. “I’ve been eating like that since I was Meena’s age and I still made star quarterback on the college football team.”

“Well, you’re not her age now, so you’re gonna have to follow doctor’s orders. Besides, I made you a nice bowl of oatmeal instead.”

“I can make something else,” said Meena, who had taken off her headphones.

But her mother shook her head. “You finish up on the pancakes, sweetie. You know how you grandma loves them. Speaking of which, I better go see if she’s having trouble finding her glasses again.”

After placing the bowl of oatmeal in front of her disgruntled father, Meena’s mom left the kitchen to head upstairs. Once the coast was clear, Meena picked up the bowl of chips and went over to the table. She held a finger to her lips and sprinkled a few chips on his oatmeal. Grandpa chuckled. “That’s my girl.”

“Mom does have a point though,” she said. “I don’t want you getting sick.”

Grandpa laughed as he took a bite of his breakfast. “Aw, I’m as fit as a fiddle, Meena. Don’t you worry about me. Or should I say ‘Don’t you worry ‘bout a thiiiing!”

Meena giggled. “Very cute, Grandpa.” She gave him a small kiss on his head, then went back to the stove.

“That reminds me, baby girl. Did you ever hear back from that dream school of yours?”

“Lincoln?” Meena shook her head. “No, not yet. Although I’m starting to wonder if I still have a shot…”

“Of course you do! So the other schools you applied for turned you down. So what? If they had half a brain, they’d have taken you in a heartbeat! Once you become a world-famous singer, they’ll be kicking themselves to their graves.”

Meena rolled her eyes. Once again, her grandfather was promoting her as a superstar singer. “Grandpa, I know you want me to make it big, but I want to do more with my life than just sing. I wanna learn everything I can about music. The history, the styles, the impact it has on different cultures. And thanks to Mr. Moon, now I’m kinda interesting in theater production.”

Grandpa coughed. “You mean, you’d rather go back behind the curtain again? I thought you were over your stage fright.”

“I am!” she said, placing the fresh batch of pancakes on the table. “I just want something to fall back on, that’s all. I can’t put all my eggs in one basket.”

Shaking his head in both admiration and frustration, Grandpa took another bite of his oatmeal. “Well, I can’t argue with your logic, baby girl. Just don’t deny the world your gift, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Who says I only have one gift to give?”

Grandpa laughed. “That’s true, that’s true. Nice to finally see some backbone growing outta you. Make me some coffee, baby. I’m gonna get the paper.”

***

Ash grumbled as she dragged her feet to the kitchen. She hated mornings, whether they be the crack of dawn or eleven o’clock. She was strictly an afternoon, evening, and night kind of girl.  She was about to start the coffee when she saw a cup for her was already made. Ash smirked and reached for the creamer. “Thank you, Olive,” she said over her shoulder.

Ever since her breakup with Lance, Ash wasted no time in moving forward as much as possible. One step forward including patching things up with her old friend, Olive; a raccoon Ash knew back from the third grade. Olive was loyal and friendly, though gifted with a sarcastic wit that she wasn’t afraid to unleash. They had been very close in the past, but once Ash started dating Lance during their junior year in high school, their friendship faltered.  Once the breakup happened, Ash contacted Olive again and the two of them were finally able to talk things over.  Everything connected to Lance (including music posters, clothing, old CDs, and his weird collection of bottle caps) was successfully removed from the apartment, Olive moved in and they got along swimmingly.

Olive chuckled as she sat at the table with the morning paper. “Figured it was either that or break out the air horn. How is it that I’m a nocturnal animal and still get up before you do?”

“You got messed up DNA?” said Ash. “So, anything about zombies in the paper?”

Olive shook her head. “Not yet, though apparently a piece of sand covered in oyster mucus is touring the country.”

Ash looked over Olive’s shoulder to see what she was referring to. The front page of the paper said Priceless 600 Year-Old Pearl To Be Displayed at City Museum. Below the headline, a picture of a large white orb was displayed on a velvet pillow in glass box. Ash let out a low whistle. “Wow, imagine having that on your eBay page.”

“Seriously. Hey, we rehearsing at the theater today?”

Ash’s second step forward was working on her music career and Olive was just the boost she needed. Olive was already great at the bass and was friends with a drummer named Brandy: a sweet, bubbly teenage skunk who was addicted to all forms of social media.  This actually wasn’t a bad thing since Brandy was in charge of the band’s Facebook page and Twitter account.  

“Yup,” said Ash as she downed the rest of her coffee. “Be sure to text Brandy.  I don’t want her missing the warm-up again.”

“Don’t worry; she’ll be there,” said Olive, wiping her glasses on the corner of shirt. Especially if she wants to see Johnny…

***

“Thirty-six…thirty-seven…thirty-eight…”

Johnny blinked away the sweat in his eyes as he finished up another set of curl-ups while hanging upside down.  He kept catching glimpses of the news broadcast during his sets.  

“The pearl will be displayed at the Cornea Museum for exactly one month before continuing its global tour,” said the cat announcer. “The pearl has been in the Mundabi family for nearly ten generations and is part of a very important tradition.  Whenever the current owner of the pearl passes away, the pearl must make a global voyage to various cities in the world before being handed down to the next heir. The pearl is said to be worth over five-billion dollars in American currency. Mayor Olsen has promised the Mundabi family that the pearl will have only the best security protecting it. Mr.  Mundabi almost rejected the city of Cornea after learning about the botched gold heist that took place last year.  The culprit was none other than Marcus “Big Daddy” Greystone, who is still currently serving time…”

Johnny turned off the TV and sighed heavily. He hated it when the news brought up his dad’s gang. Sure, his dad was a criminal, but he only stole money. He had never broken into homes or stolen personal items, even if the item in question was beyond priceless.

Thinking of his father led Johnny over to the collection of pictures he had sitting on the makeshift shelf in his room. All the pics were of happier times when he still lived in England and before his father had become “Big Daddy Greystone.” Most of all, it was when he still had his mother. His eyes fell upon his favorite photo of her.  Unlike Johnny and his dad, his mother was brown-furred gorillia.  She had a kind face and hazel eyes that always eased Johnny’s heart.  In the photo, she was wearing her favorite pink sweater and was holding Johnny when he was a toddler.  The young ape in the picture wouldn’t look at the camera, but kept his eyes on his mother, who returned the gaze with a beautiful smile on her face.  But what Johnny remembered the most was her voice.  Her passion for singing matched his own.  Every night before bed, he would sit on his father’s lap while she played the piano and sung him a lullaby, her melodious voice lulling him to dreamland. She was the exact opposite of his dad: kind, gentle, soft-spoken. She really brought a sense of balance to their family, until…

Johnny shook away the memory. Don’t think of that now, Johnny thought to himself.  He then looked over at the picture of him and his dad.  He must have only been about three or four and was propped on his dad’s shoulder, smiling and waving to the camera.  His dad had a large smile on his face as he looked up at his son, every bit of him shining with pride.  Next to the photo was the newspaper article of his father getting arrested, complete with mugshot.  It was like they were two different apes.  The news would always see his father as a notorious, heartless criminal who didn’t deserve a second chance.  But to Johnny, he’d always be his dad.  

Johnny picked up a marker and scratched another day off the calendar.  “Almost there, dad.”  Flipping ahead, he saw that there were only six months left before his father’s parole.  The prison visits had been helping him cope with the absence.  It was the first time he and his dad actually sat down and really spoke to each other as father and son and not gang leader and henchman.  Marcus promised Johnny, over and over, that things would be different once he got out.  Johnny believed him, but was still worried.  He knew that having a criminal record meant it’d be difficult to get a job.  Still, he couldn’t afford to give up hope.  

Looking down at his watch, he saw that it was time for him to get cleaned up and head to the theater.  After a quick shower and breakfast, Johnny grabbed his skateboard and locked up the garage.  

[andrebearakovsky]

The Caps Lost and You Want to Cry Remedy Masterpost

EDIT: Hi there! I managed to get this post functioning again, but I have an updated list! I tried to update this post but tumblr’s a dick and won’t let me have as many links as I want on a post. So, to see the updated list, go to my blog, and click on the tabs on top that say “Caps Masterpost Pt. 1″ and “Caps Masterpost Pt. 2″ (I had to do it in 2 parts because, again, tumblr won’t let me have pages with that many links). Enjoy! I promise there’s a lot more to like in the updates!

So the Caps just lost and you feel ready to cry. What can you do to help remedy that feeling of despair? I present to you my magnum opus, a masterpost of happy and funny Caps videos and posts to make you feel better and forget about any bad hockey you just watched. In this post is everything you could ever want to watch related to the Caps. Of course, I don’t have everything, I’m not nearly as extensive as RMNB, and there’s a lack of actual hockey highlights (as the point of this post is to highlight off-ice hilarity). So sit back, pick what you want to watch, and enjoy.

Official Team Events

Segway Tour 2017

Segway Tour 2015

Segway Tour 2007

Family Skate 2016

Caps visit MedStar Georgetown University Hospital 2016 

Emoji Sentences - Barry Trotz, Unleash the Fury, More Cowbell, Backstrom, Dump and Chase, Poke Check, Ovechkin, Rock the Red, Faceoff, Power Play Goal

Emoji Impressions

Casino Night 2016

Casino Night 2015

Capitals Bobblehead Election

Justin Williams Bobblehead Concession Speech

Tom Wilson Meets the Holtby Bobblehead

Burky/Willy and Schmidty/Chorns play videogames

Ovi and Kuzy talk about their hair

2017 Canine Calendar Shoot - pics plus a video of Kuzy giggling, a feature on Taylor Winnik, Ovi’s dog maintenance

2016 Canine Calendar Shoot

Willy, Latts, Beags, and Schmidty go golfing

Swedish Food Tasting

Dads Trip 2016

History of Caps Mentors’ Trips

Caps visit Joint Base Andrews

Jay Beagle skates with his son

Caps at Six Flags 2015

Caps at Six Flags 2011

Rowing on the Potomac

Crab Cake Cooking Competition

Team Silliness

The Russian Bros have fun in front of a giant Ovi ad

Team bonding dart competition - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Halloween Karaoke - Zach Sanford, Alex Ovechkin, Andre Burakovsky

Ovi’s Smelling Salts - Mojo, Kuzy

Nicky pranks Mojo and Burky

The late-night fire alarm incident

Shenanigans on a plane feat. Green & Brouwer

More Silliness

Why did they give Locker a t-shirt gun

Ovi, Kuzy, and Geno dress as Russian mascots

Ovi and Carly discuss their pregame routine

“Hockey at its best”

Andre Burakovsky, Tom Wilson, Michael Latta

Burky explains the Uber incident

Burky is the MPP of the Caps

5 seconds of Burky looking cute

Cruisin with Willy and Burky on the way to Casino Night

Burky shames the cameraman for being a Penguins fan - the whole interview is good but this happens 15 minutes in

Interview with Latts - dolphins and Valentine’s Day

Cruisin with Willy and Latts on the way to Casino Night

Willy and Latts feature for Washington Life Magazine

Willy and Latts voted best bromance

Burky spooks Latts

Interview with Latts - nicknames, playoff beards, and Caps Roomies

Burky and Willy sing dubsmash together

Willy and Latts fill out their 2015 March Madness bracket

Willy Sings (Badly)

A good brobeans post

I meant to include the video of Tom and Latts’s apartment from the Road to the Winter Classic episodes but I cannot for the life of me find it, so as consolation I’m going to include a link to the Road to the Winter Classic episodes which you can watch if you have Amazon Prime here

Alex Ovechkin

Ovi delivers pizza - Part 1, Part 2

The Alex Ovechkin song

Behind the scenes with Ovi at the 2017 All Star Game - Video 1, Video 2

Ovi escapes his own home

Ovi makes a noise

Ovi DJs

Steve Dangle talks about Ovi’s 500th goal

Ovi swings away in 2015 Breakaway Challenge

Ovi dons a cowboy hat in classic 2009 Breakaway Challenge

Alex Ovechkin Funny Moments

Top 10 Ovi Off Ice Moments

Post with links to many Ovi quotes and videos

Nicklas Backstrom

Nicky hat trick quote

Nicky singing (there’s also some behind the scenes but the singing is the important part)

Cruisin with Nicky

Ovi & Nicky

All Star Nicklas Backstrom

Ovi and Nicky complete each other

Braden Holtby

Holts wants to bring the Cup back to his hometown

Holts has strong opinions on socks

Fetus Holtby video

Karl Alzner, John Carlson

Alzner does “Canadian or Nah” and makes a loon call

Carlzner test drive - Part 1, Part 2

Carlzner roomies - Part 1, Part 2

Carlzner Q&A at Caps Con Kid Press Conference 2011 - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Carlson at 2011 Winter Classic (segment from 10:50-15:47)

Evgeny Kuznetsov

Kuzy’s daughter drives the car

“It’s rivalry night”

Kuzy tells the story about meeting Brad Pitt and Orly getting cut out of the photos

Kuzy trolls the refs (mushrooms, baked potatoes, and medium rare steak)

Kuzy at the All Star Game

Kuzy’s most Extra celly possibly ever (with links to more cellys in the article)

Nate Schmidt

Nate Schmidt’s mohawk misadventures - Bonus: Holts calls Schmidty the best player

Schmidty sings Taylor Swift

Schmidty’s Chewbacca impression

Schmidty’s Interview Sabotaged by Teammates 

Barry Trotz Mishaps

Oshie bulldozes Trotz

Trotz gets hit in the head with a puck

Dancing

Mojo busting moves (feat. Taylor Winnik)

Lars Johansson victory dances - dance 1, dance 2

Justin Williams Dances to Cotton Eye Joe

Shaving Cream

Vrana 1st NHL goal

Kuzy hat trick

Willy 1st NHL goal

Nicky pranks Ovi

Mustaches

Movember trophy ceremony 2015

Top 5 Caps mustaches

Who has the best mustache?

Christmas

Christmas elf dancing

2015 holiday card

2014 holiday card w/ Wizards

2013 holiday card

Commercials

2017 All Star Game Audition Commercial

Paisano’s Commercial

Paisano’s Commercial Bloopers

Ovi as Caps Interviewer (feat. Nicky, Greener, and Brooks Laich)

Ovi Eastern Motors Commercial

2007 All Star Game Road Trip Commercial

Global Heritage Series

Nicklas Backstrom - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Evgeny Kuznetsov - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Tributes

John Carlson 500 Games Played Tribute

Karl Alzner 500 Consecutive Games Played Tribute

Alex Ovechkin 1000 Points Ceremony

Alex Ovechkin 1000 Points Tribute

Nicklas Backstrom 500 Assists Tribute

Nicklas Backstrom 500 Assists Ceremony

Braden Holtby Vezina Ceremony

Alex Ovechkin 500 Goals Ceremony

Alex Ovechkin 500 Goals Tribute

Karl Alzner breaks Caps record for consecutive games played tribute

Drafts

Jakub Vrana (phone call with Ovi)

Zach Sanford (interview)

Andre Burakovsky

Tom Wilson

Evgeny Kuznetsov

Marcus Johansson

Alex Ovechkin

Reference

Every butt slash article RMNB has ever written

Player reaction gifs

On-Ice Moments

Oshie’s shootout goal that wasn’t actually in the shootout

Ovi’s 1000th point (John Walton call)

Nicky’s 500th assist

The epic Orlov hit on Duchene

Edits to Orlov’s hit

Ovi’s 500th career goal (all calls)

Huge save leads to Ovi’s OT gamewinner

TJ Oshie Olympic Shootout

Oshie shootout compilation

John Carlson scores OT winner in 2010 World Juniors

Empty Net Fails

Best 1 on 1 Embarrassing Moments - Part 1, Part 2

10 Minutes of Bad Goals

5 Minutes of Happy Goalies

Hat Tricks

Oshie 04/28/2016 vs PIT in the playoffs

Williams 01/17/2016 vs NYR (I can’t find his hat trick from ‘06 so this’ll have to do)

Kuznetsov 10/23/2015 @ EDM

Oshie 01/03/2015 @ SJS

Backstrom 12/13/2014 vs TBL

Oshie 03/27/2014 vs MIN (hats)

Ovechkin 12/10/2013 vs TBL

Eller 01/04/2012 vs WPG

Backstrom 4/17/2010 vs MTL in the playoffs

Ovechkin 05/04/2009 vs PIT in the playoffs

Ovechkin 12/15/2006 @ ATL (I’m only including 3/17 Ovi hat tricks else we’ll be here all day)

Non-Caps

Goal Horns

Connor McDavid Rap

Auston Matthews Rap

Carpool with Cam - Nick Foligno, Seth Jones

All Star DJ Snoop

Baby Leafs in Road to the Winter Classic

Get Vladi some snow

Jamie Benn and Tyler Segin Head to Head

PK Subban wins breakaway challenge

“Fruit Salad” by Dylan Strome feat. Mitch Marner

Crosby and MacKinnon work at Tim Horton’s

Full Games/Events

2017 All Star Game

2017 All Star Game Skills Competition - Part 1, Part 2

2016 Heritage Classic EDM vs WPG

2016 All Star Game - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

2016 All Star Game Skills Competition (playlist)

2015 All Star Fantasy Draft

2015 Caps Winter Classic

Still not satisfied? Go check out some of my posts! They’re funny I promise. Karlsson/Carlson flowchart, Caps Drinking Game, Why Carlson or Alzner Should Have the A, Caps True Nicknames, Top Golf RMNB Insta Photos, New Caps Lineup, Caps Top 10 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3), Caps Hat Tricks and 1st NHL Goals, Jay Beagle, Caps Family Tree, Caps Bromances, My Top Caps Moments of the Regular Season

[werenzki]

Sidney Crosby #1

First Sid of many, feel free to send me requests :)

Word Count: 1,565

Mania. That’s the one word you’d use to explain the world you were living right about now. Even from down the hallway you could hear the cheers from the away team dressing room. There were people everywhere you looked, shoulders bumping with strangers who wore the same grin that you had on your face while you turned to walk into the dressing room. 

You were hauled to a stop, a wall of bodies trying to both give the team space but get any glimpse or photo of what was happening in front of them. There was no way you could even count the amount of camera you were seeing. But that’s what you expected when any team won, you just never knew exactly what to expect when this moment was to happen, now here you stood with butterflies in your stomach and a grin on your face. 

“Excuse me,” you said while tapping a mans arm. He looked over his shoulder and he let you past. 

“Captain’s girl! Make way!” A booming voice yelled over the havoc. Looking to your left you saw where the lovely announcement came from, Geno had a grin on his face while grabbing another bottle of champagne from someone. And with his words a path was made for you. 

Feeling timid you awkwardly waved at everyone before looking up to see the captain of the 2016 Stanley Cup winners, Sidney Crosby, grinning at you. You didn’t waste another moment before jogging into his arms. 

“You won!” You shouted as Sid chuckled and the team began to cheer all over again. You laughed as Sid’s arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off the ground. 

You were twirled around a few times before he settled you down on your feet once again and you came face to face with the cup yourself. Geno and Flower were standing on either side, hoisting it upwards so it was level with you. Your eyes widened while the grin was still set in place. Suddenly you realized what exactly was happening, the liquor sloshed in the top, spilling over the rim as Geno’s excitement got the best of him and he started to lift it before Flower did. 

“Oh my lord,” you said before the cheering drowned out your thoughts.

Sidney’s hand was planted firmly on your lower back while he was grinning at you, watching as your lips landed on the Stanley Cup and it was tipped up as champagne poured down your throat. Geno shouted something in Russian, the team started pushing again and cheering as cameras got closer towards you too. Without a doubt you knew they were focusing on your left hand that was resting on the cup. 

As you swallowed the champagne somebody bumped Flower and the cup moved too quickly, liquid spilling over and onto your jeans and jacket. You decided to step back from the cup now. And instead of wiping your lips on your sleeve, you turned around and lunged at Sid, smacking your lips to his. 

The room went crazy, again, while you soaked in this moment. Just your lips against Sidney’s, his arms around you while you could still taste the liquor on his lips as well. You knew that Sid dreamed of this day, but for the past 3 years you’ve been together you’ve been dreaming of this day too. All the hard work he and the team put in, that silver trophy made it all worth it. You pulled back, hands on his cheeks, and looked into those big beautiful eyes of his. 

“I’m so proud of you,” you stated. Sid didn’t reply, but instead turned his head so he could kiss your hand softly. You chuckled and hugged him again. Then, just as you thought the mania would be calming down, Kris Letang was shaking up a bottle of champagne and shouting. You screeched and shielded your face as the liquid went flying, showering you in sticky champagne before Sidney stepped in front of you and simply laughed. 

Looking around you weren’t even sure where the cup has gone. Somewhere between the massive bodies you caught the silver shine under the light and you smiled yet again. Then Geno was hugging you and then Kris was and then Phil was. You’d never seen this group of men so happy, and it just made you that much happier. 

“We’re not getting any sleep tonight are we?” You questioned as you walked hand in hand with Sid down the hallway. It was nearing midnight when the celebrates in the dressing room was shut down. The team said goodnight to the cup and then were all hauling themselves to the restaurant that was attached to the hotel you were all staying in. 

“Last call is 2am,” Sidney stated. 

“Knowing you guys, you could keep the bar open till at least 3,“ 

"We are in the hotel though, so we could leave a little earlier,” he said with a smug look on his face. You rolled your eyes and hit his chest gently. 

“No way, MVP and captain, you’re out all night with your team celebrating," 

"Alright, fiancé, so are you then,” even just the word made your head spin and lips turn up into a smile. 8 months later and you still could’ve believe that ring was on your finger. 

“Fine, I can totally handle that. I don’t think I could even sleep after tonight," 

"Me neither,” he agreed while stepping up to the SUV waiting for the two of you. He held the door open and let you slip in before taking the seat beside you. 

Little did you both know, after only an hour downstairs in the restaurant with the Penguins and their families, you were lazily making out against the elevator wall. As it dinged you opened an eye and caught sight of a young man stepping into the elevator. You gently pushed Sid off you and he adjusted his hat on his head. The young man smiled at you two and then the elevator was going up again. 

“Congratulations,” the young guy said to Sid as the door opened again and you two walked off. 

“Thanks,” Sid responded with a smile over his shoulder as you lead the way to the hotel room. 

With a ridiculous amount of liquor in your system and the long day you had endured, you struggled with the room key and ended up pouting before handing it to Sid. He chuckled under his breath but handled opening the room up with ease. You wrapped your arms around his waist, your front to his back, as you two walked into the room. 

“I’m so tired,” you mumbled into his shirt. Vibrations went through your body as he chuckled at you. 

“Me too, baby,” You peeled yourself off him and stepped around his body to kick off your shoes. Then you threw your jacket on the desk chair and began to lift your shirt over your head. With a frown on your face you looked over to where Sid sat on his side of the bed, untying his dress shoes slowly. 

“I really wanted to congratulate you, like in bed,” you huffed, “I’m just so tired," 

Sid laughed at you, head tilted back and eyes closed. You smiled but ended up shimmying out of your sticky jeans- which lead to you frowning over the fact it was such a task to do. Reaching into the suitcase that you knew very well was Sidney’s, you grabbed the first tee shirt you could get your hands on. Lucky enough it was one of his Pittsburg Penguins shirts and they were very comfortable. 

You pulled back the covers and got into bed. Sidney was unbuttoning his pants, shirt already on the floor as you watched him adjust the waistband on his briefs. How’d you get so lucky? You smiled to yourself and pulled your hair back into a messy bun as Sidney got into the bed beside you. 

Like clock work, Sidney was turning off the little lamp beside the bed, lifting the blanket over himself before wrapping an arm around you and you snuggled up against him. You could still feel the side affects of the liquor in your body. Those last couple shots hit you hard. So was the lack of naps you had today. 

"Geno got me drunk,” you muttered.

Sid chuckled, his chest vibrating underneath you, “me too," 

"Stupid Russian,” you said, “love him though," 

"Do you?” Sidney questioned, his voice full of teasing. You rolled your eyes and lifted your head up, in the dark you could make out his face thanks to the street lights coming through the curtains. 

“Not as much as I love you,” you said before pecking his lips. You settled back into his side again, once you were comfortable you sighed and closed your eyes again. 

“You can expect my congratulations tomorrow, maybe in the morning, maybe after dinner,” you were the one doing the teasing now. You felt Sidney’s body tense beside you. 

“I’ll be looking forward to it," 

"Good, cause your fiancé is tired now," 

"I forgive my fiancé," 

"Good," 

"I love you,” Sidney whispered into your hair before planting a kiss softly at the crown of your head. You smiled, sleep nearly taking over your tired and drunk body now. 

“I love you too, Stanley Cup Champion,”