#aziraphale does a fucking kissing dance

[legjames]

right. WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT THE GAVOTTE (the dance aziraphale learns in s1) IS KNOWN AS THE “LIVELY PEASANTS’ KISSING DANCE”??????? it’s a kissing dance.

you kiss at the end of the dance (sometimes replaced with presenting your partner with flowers)!!?!???? it’s a fucking kissing dance. aziraphale learnt a fucking KISSING DANCE in the gentleman’s club.

of course he was rather upset when it went out of fashion; he couldn’t teach crowley the dance anymore…

perhaps the ball was his way of trying to do something similar with crowley (i am so sick… have mercy)

[natasha-barton]

Crowleys so cool crowleys so mysterious this and so hot that - Crowley is a hot fucking Mess.

He did not realize he felt romantic attraction towards Aziraphale for 6000 years ‼️ Crowley thanks cars when he crosses the road, his favorite tv shows are Golden Girls and The Good Place, he makes silly faces at his Angel, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he talks to his car and his plants, he’s down so bad for Aziraphale that he runs his their bookshop for a day, lets him drive his their car and follows Aziraphale around as he Does Shit and Crowley simply watches, smitten. Crowleys idea of evil is glueing coins to the ground and making a Big Road look like a sigil - how fun! He went to a Gas Station only once because he wanted James Bond Bullet Hole Stickers for the Bentley. His name and phone number are in a Call Center Database. He jumps at every opportunity to save Aziraphale. The Bastille in France? No problem let me just stop time for a few moments, Angel. A Church during WW2 because Angel wanted to do some Good but fell into the evil hands of Nazis? Sure yes let me just do a chicken dance down the the aisle because my feet burn because this is literally consecrated ground - what did you say? You don’t like my new name, Angel?☹️

Crowley is so silly and goofy, he’s a mess and most of the time definitely not suave. That Kiss with Aziraphale was most probably his first kiss ever. He’s not the sexyman seducing people throughout history you think he is

[violet-witch-6]

Gonna be real, my first time watching THAT scene I honestly wasn’t sure how they were ever gonna patch things up because I can’t even imagine the pain of standing in Crowley’s place after 6,000 years of loving someone in silence, trying to show them who you are at every opportunity, painstakingly chipping away at the delusion they’ve bought into since the beginning (more than you ever did) in order to show them the truth—to show them who you are (who the two of you could be together) —and then just as you’ve finally worked up the courage to lay it all out there and toss the dice hoping (with what, for the first time, you’re starting to believe are less than doomed odds) that they’ll love you back and that it will be enough—only for all of it to be dragged out from under you because they look you in the eye and all but tell you that they never understood you at all. They weren’t listening. And, sure they want what you want (to be together), they love you back (still unspoken but legible in the way they glow at the thought that they might still save you) (as if you need saving) (as if you’d want it)—but not as you are. They think the change they ask of you would be received as a grace and the betrayal of that is gut wrenching in a way that no flat out rejection could be, I think. If I were Crowley, I can’t imagine how I’d come back from that.

But then I watched the scene again. The moments after that betrayal. Once Crowley’s put his glasses back on, raised his defenses and sounded the retreat. I wondered, watching the scene again, how it could ever reach the point where the kiss made sense when they were already so torn apart. But the thing is that no matter how wrong Aziraphale was to want things to go back to the “way they were”, everything that led him to that conclusion comes from the thing Crowley loves most about him: his goodness. Aziraphale is good in a way that heaven is not, and Crowley knows that, but Aziraphale still hasn’t learned that lesson. He wants so desperately still to believe in god and heaven and the ineffable plan and even though it’s that desire that’s led him to hurt Crowley, I don’t think Crowley can completely begrudge him. By the time Crowley’s walking out of the book shop, the betrayal has already faded—not gone, but less than when compared to his sadness for Aziraphale and what his angel is going to go through when heaven lets him down (again)—assuming that it doesn’t just break him.

And the kiss—that fucking kiss (be still my beating heart)—that was Crowley planting a seed. “I know better than you do” he says and he does because Crowley has always been more honest with himself than Mr. “Master class in self delusion” A. Z. Fell. Aziraphale is about to be more alone and more lost than he has been in 6,000 years, so Crowley needed to make 100% clear to him where solid ground was. Aziraphale won’t be able to rationalize this away or hide behind propriety because it can only mean one thing and that is that he is in love with a demon whose on his own side with no interest in ever rejoining the heavenly host because heaven is not the epitome of goodness or love that he so desperately wants to believe it is. It’s not even capable of being that—no matter how hard Aziraphale tries to bend it back into what he thinks is it’s natural shape (because isn’t that what he wants so desperately to do as chief archangel? To make heaven the place he’s always thought it was?). Crowley really said “whatever you do next, do it knowing I love you”. He said “I’m done letting you ignore this.” And I get it. Cards on the table means cards on the table. No more half measures no more dancing around it—any of it. If Aziraphale wants to walk into the belly of the beast, then the least Crowley can do is make sure he’s doing it with his eyes wide open.

[shoemakerobstetrician]

Season 3 Opening Scene Nightingale 1941 Theory

So, season 2 opened with a flashback that had us totally reevaluating Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s relationship. I think the same will be true of season 3.

I think we will return to the night in 1941, to find out that they kissed, danced, or more that night.

1 - Why are they sitting at a table in the bookshop just drinking, no food on the table? When they’re drinking they don’t use a table. I think it’s to clue us in that there is more to the scene than what we are seeing - at some point before or after they had dinner.

2 - We know that Aziraphale did the apology dance in 1941 - again an indication that there is probably more to that evening than what we have seen so far.

3 - When Crowley says ‘no nightingales’ in S2E6 we now think he’s referring to the scene at the end of S1E6 in the Ritz, but it does seem a bit of a reach. It was a very nice moment, but I don’t think a relationship defining one that would cause both of them to think of it as their song.

4 - A Nightingale Sang was released in 1940, first charting at the end of December 1940. It would have been a hit in 1941 (according to Wikipedia it got up to #2).

5 - I think they had dinner, they danced, or perhaps even kissed to Nightingale as it was playing on the radio, and it became their song in a much more significant moment in 1941.

6 - When Aziraphale says to Crowley “Perhaps one day we could…dine at the Ritz” after “You go too fast for me Crowley” he would then be directly referring to their song from 1941.

7 - When it plays at the Ritz at the end of season 1, it’s because the pianist finds themselves mysteriously compelled to perform it, like the Oxford bus driver taking them to London.

8 - And finally, when Crowley says “no nightingales” at the end of S2 it is just devastating, it’s him saying there is no us.

And another thing: in the lyrics to Nightingale: That Certain night, the night we met/There was MAGIC abroad in the air. 😁

One more thing: I can certainly see Neil gleefully being like “Psych, it WASN’T their first kiss.”, and the scene would be just as heartbreaking if not more so if it was what Crowley thought was their last kiss.

ETA I just rewatched the bookshop table scene for like the 17th time. Holy 💩 is the dialogue strange and very loaded. The “trust me” bit, and the “shades of grey”. Throughout the whole scene Aziraphale is sideways eye fucking Crowley. There is simply no way we’re not going to see more of this scene in Season 3.

I very much like this whole idea, it probably won’t happen. Maybe someone will write a fanfic at least.

[microclown]

I think, not everyone, but a lot of the people who are so hung up on the kiss aren’t thinking about it within the context of the narrative.

I probably won’t articulate this well, but the whole plot of season 2 felt like a direct, meta-y response to us, the fans, and our desire see Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship progress to something more.

Neil had established in the first season, they are already in love, so what is it really then that we want see? What is it that’s missing? That leaves us feeling unsatisfied?

What does love mean to you? What would it mean to Aziraphale and Crowley? What does a loving relationship look like, and how does one get there?

The methods Crowley and Aziraphale use to get Maggie and Nina together are common romance tropes in fiction. Crowley says “one fabulous kiss and we’re good!”

But rainstorms and dancing didn’t make Maggie and Nina fall in love. They were going to get there on their own, eventually, after a lot of open communication and working on their own personal growth.

And “one fabulous kiss” won’t give us a happy ending. It won’t give us what we’re missing from Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s relationship. We as fans like to think that’s all we want, but is it really? Because the love is there! What we’re truly missing has more to do with internal growth and healing, communication, and working towards a true understanding of each other.

And I think that’s what we’ll get in season 3! I don’t know if we’ll get another kiss although I would love to see one but we will get a satisfactory resolution between two beings who are deeply in love.

As a side note, I don’t want to down play how fucking important it was to have them kiss on screen. As someone who has grown up watching queer coded relationships on screen and is exhausted from having everyone involved queerbait, or even outright ridicule their fans for seeing it that way, it is so refreshing to have a very visual, undeniable, romantic gesture. Because I know it really does take a kiss for some people *cough* my parents *cough* to see a relationship as anything but platonic. I’m so glad we got that undeniable validation before what I can only expect is going to be an epic third chapter!

[beauspot]

Good Omens Is a Big Deal

With everything going on I haven’t acknowledged how grateful I am for what Neil (and John) did this season. I always saw Good Omens as a romantic story and everyone involved seemed to be super supportive of that. To actually see a follow through on those themes was wonderful though. To see Aziraphale continue to look at Crowley like he’s the earth, the moon, and the stars. To see Crowley continue to save his angel not because he needs them to, but because they love him.

To see them have their dinners, and give the other access to their prized possessions. To see them dance. They love each other. They are in love with each other and it’s not implied or a throwaway line that can be edited out.

It’s the beating heart at the center of the story.

And they weren’t meant to be. Neil himself will tell you when he and Terry wrote the book Aziraphale and Crowley were meant to be friends and that’s it. Over time their relationship evolved and where a lot of writers would simply ignore that and keep pushing forward Neil pivoted and said “you know what? let’s see where this goes.” The last time I can remember something like this happening was with Hannibal years ago, it’s so rare with queer pairings.

I know everyone was excited about the kiss and it is refreshing to see queer people actually get to kiss, it’s still not something that happens all the time, but that’s not what made them canonically queer to me. If they remained completely asexual and never kissed or showed interest in kissing one another I’d feel the same. While I always felt they were queer what sealed it for me were 3 things:

1. Nina and Maggie, a romantic pairing that parallel our angel and demon break down to Crowley how she and Aziraphale are partners (and it’s clear they don’t mean business partners, does Crowley look like he runs a bookshop?) but they never say what they’re really thinking. They go on to state how that’s all they needed, the obvious implication here being that Nina and Maggie shared their romantic feelings with one another and that Crowley and Aziraphale need to do the same. Upon hearing this Crowley takes that as a sign to confess his feelings.

2. Gabriel and Beelzebub, another pairing that parallels Crowley and Aziraphale who are also clearly in love with one another is something Crowley references while he is confessing his feelings. “If those two lovestruck idiots can go off together, so can we. Because I love you.”

3. Crowley and Aziraphale express plainly to each other that they need the other. Crowley says to Aziraphale he wants to stop pretending they aren’t a team, a group, a them.

Aziraphale says verbatim “We can be together.” and “I need you.” He doesn’t say “We can work together” or “I need you to help me” or some other cop out that a lot of other shows or movies might come up with to continue to bait their fans, while having plausible deniability.

They love each other and it’s not platonic.

To me, the kiss serves as a way to seal the deal for people who only understand queer love when it’s punching them in the face. That’s not to say queer people can’t like the kiss, it’s one of my favorite scenes in the show simply because of how heartbreaking it is, but they were a couple to me long before that. And to add onto that by making every other important pairing in the show queer as well? Nina and Maggie being happy sapphics who don’t die at the end. They’re not together, but the implication is that one day they will be. Two non-binary beings—Gabriel and Beelzebub—falling in love and choosing to be with one another forever. The angels and demons are all genderless and no one misgenders them and no one gives a FUCK.

That means so much to me and I genuinely cannot express how thankful I am that this show and this season were made. The only thing I can say is thank you for standing for something, because not everyone does.

[bluberryfields]

"I want a proper apology."

The dramatic “apology dance”

In the entirety of Season 2, I think the “apology dance” scene is pretty close to my favorite.

The way Crowley walks in like he’s entering a stage in a packed theater.

The way Azi clearly sees him coming and fusses himself up to look extra focused on his work and not at all excited about Crowley’s return.

Crowley, noticing that Azi has yet to look at him, ramps up the drama by:

Whipping off his glasses (taking off his armor)

Response from Azi? Clears his throat and focuses harder on his work.

Time for Level 2 Drama, it seems.

Stalking over to the table (no sauntering here)

Tossing the glasses down (looks casual but absolutely isn’t)

Ringing that little bell (like a ceremonial gong signaling “this is fucking happening”)

Walking back into the rotunda where he has maximum visibility (also maximum vulnerability)

Azi now has no choice but to react, which he does by slowly looking up and over at Crowley, who looks like the human-shaped embodiment of dread.

Finally announcing “I’m back” like the bitchy customer who just yesterday had declared they were never shopping here again

I mean, wow. Amazing. Glorious.

Not to be outcunted, Azi just casually turns back to his work and practically hums, “Yes. I can see that.”

Damn, Aziraphale, did you take lessons in passive aggression from my mother?

Now Crowley groans in a way that I felt to my core and asks, “Do you want a big, ‘I think I said the wrong thing,’ sort of an apology, or can we take that as said?”

He averts his eyes until the last second because this probably feels more demeaning than begging Azi not to do his magic act at Warlock’s birthday part.

Still turned away, Azi replies in a tone that is a mix of hurt and guilt that makes me think this has been coming for awhile. "I'd like the apology actually." I bet you would, Angel.

Back to Crowley, he pauses to assess his options, takes a deep breath, and says the magic words: “You were right.” Also looks like he almost says something else but either doesn’t know what to say or doesn’t want to say it.

Oh wow, so convincing. Bravo.

Finally, Azi puts down his glasses and his work and turns to address Crowley. He is not happy.

“Not good enough. I want a proper apology.” Also, side note, but Michael Sheen’s voice here is just…yum.

Before Azi can finish, Crowley is so quick to reject this idea. “No.” with a shake of the head.

You're not winning this battle, Crowley, and you know it.

“With the little dance.” Azi’s voice perks up and his eyes brighten at the hope this will happen. Seize that opportunity!

Again, Crowley barely let’s the word “dance” come out before he tries to shut it down. “I don’t do the dance.” Nope, no sir, not this demon.

Oh no, now Azi’s anger joins the hurt and guilt for a vicious trifecta. “I did the ‘I was wrong’ dance in 1650, 1793, 1941…” each date being spat out with increasing amounts of venom.

Oh Crowley, you brought this on yourself, girl.

This non-apology combined with his “I'm sorry. I apologize. Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Work with me, I’m apologizing here. Yes? Good. Get in the car.” and I can see why Azi reacts to this the way he does.

Crowley knows he’s beaten and concedes with a “Fine!” that feels the very opposite of the word.

Okay so before the “proper apology” can begin, Azi gets up from his chair, straightens his waistcoat, and stands with his hands grasped in front of him like a proper gentleman. A properly petty gentleman.

Then the main attraction! Crowley, looking completely stone-faced, does “the little dance.”

It’s wonderful. He looks so silly and childish and graceful and mature. And god, that deep knee bend at the end? Amazing.

Also amazing is Crowley’s face when he says "Kay?” while bobbing his head and eyebrows back like a sassy rooster? *chef’s kiss*

For Azi’s part, god it is just a delicious mix of polite poker face and barely concealed thirst. I see your eyes scanning Crowley, drinking in that thin, dark Duke. That little dance will live in his head forever.

And that’s the signal to go back to normal! Crowley regains control and Azi falls back into the supporting role.

Long-term relationships are hard, yo.

[tonydaddingham]

i did not break my own heart last night thinking about the missing 1941 scene and have it sat in my brain all of today spinning around like a fucking microwave in order to not make you lot suffer with me. and i somehow feel i may be right about this so buckle up and lets break it down.

so yes, following on from this post, i think that there is going to be a third 1941 scene. twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. it's been literally set up like that by even bringing back 1941 into s2 in the first place. but we're missing a crucial detail because it does not - at all, really - explain how they went from evading danger from hell and having a cosy candlelit bottle of red to celebrate, to the bastard 1967 scene. we all know this, this is nothing new.

the symbolism of nightingales is probably going to cast a shadow on this. these two excellent analyses look at the meaning of nightingales in the context of R&J, and the relation that the song has to this point in time, respectively. in summary; it's a song that should be around in 1941 courtesy of vera lynn and others, and the nightingale itself carries the meaning of love being hidden and forbidden by way of it singing under the cover of darkness, before being replaced with reality and soberness - represented by the lark. the Dinner of '41 scene is set in the bookshop at night; this would parallel - that they are safe and concealed, and truths can be shared, but the writing is on the wall that stepping outside would be to shatter the illusion, so to speak. it might be that the song itself gets miracled up onto the record player, or a wireless lying about - whatever. note: i don't think they'll dance though, not given crowley in ep5, "you don't dance"... but then again, if there ISNT a kiss in s3-1941, an aborted dance seems like the next best option... the cowardly one, but i'll take it

this would also track with aziraphale having his epiphany after the church in s1-1941; specifically, in my eyes, that he doesn't necessarily just realise he loves crowley, but that crowley by way of saving his books loves him too. this is only supported by the whole of the s2-1941 scene of trusting in each other as the only way to pull off the trick, the subterfuge. this is then, again, also important in the context of what i think happens in s3-1941.

i do think aziraphale is going to bring the books up again, and what crowley did, because it needs to be addressed. the Nazis/furfur confrontation has scared him, regardless of whether he saved them both, more than he realised. its put things into startling perspective. i think he's going to bring up the books, and actually question crowley a little more as to why he did it. the repeated use of, and subsequent weird reaction crowley has to, the use of the term "friend" in s2-1941 would indicate that this is going to be a focal point in s3-1941. are they just friends? is crowley disappointed that aziraphale is still referring to him as that, after what he did? 'saving' aziraphale in the church, and then saving his books? or is aziraphale just saying 'friends' so hesitantly in both instances because he's not completely sure where crowley stands?

we as the audience know the answer to this, but they obviously do not. if one of the crucial themes of s3 is going to be resolving miscommunication, it makes sense for this scene to be the first, and last, time they communicate properly... at least, until they sort out the issues that culminated in the Final Fifteen.

so let's say they start getting into a very roundabout way of discussing what they mean to each other. there will need to be the sobering, ice-water-over-the-head realisation however, as s2-1941 demonstrated, that they cannot belong to each other, because they manifestly belong to heaven and hell respectively. crowley is still being spied on, and it firmly places aziraphale in their line of sight too. it's going to bring up the holy water discussion; why crowley asked for it - to protect himself, whether by taking out demons or taking out himself, as long as it means he - and most importantly, aziraphale - does not get hurt.

they actively confess that they want to be together, in a way that is more than they are now. aziraphale wants to, but says that they can't, because it's too dangerous. crowley suggests that no one ever has to know, they can hide it (there, in the bookshop, whilst the nightingale is singing), and even if they are found out, they can run. "hell won't just be angry; they'll destroy you..." // "no one ever has to know".

aziraphale doesn't want to have to hide it, doesn't want a halfway measure- is still thinking in black and white. crowley however thinks that something is better than nothing - thinking in the grey. but ultimately, as long as they are still shackled, they cannot do what they want, and it puts the other in danger. "surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want" // "you sound jealous, angel...". instead, aziraphale promises that the day that they are no longer tied to heaven or hell, they can be together; crowley scoffs, thinking that that will never happen, so they will never happen, "you're so clever! how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?!"

the reason they can't right now is because they could be caught. they would have to skulk around, be ashamed, feel guilty - and aziraphale is tired of feeling like that. because only having crowley in secret would hurt more. not being able hold his hand, or dance with him, or kiss him, unless it was in the bookshop. if hell were to find out, crowley would be killed, true, but if heaven were to find out, aziraphale could be cast out. and if crowley survived hell long enough to see aziraphale fall - he'd never forgive himself, and in a way, i don't think he'd ever forgive aziraphale either.

it's tearing them to pieces, but they have to stop whatever is happening between them in its tracks. it's acknowledged, but it's not named. this gives them plausible deniability; if they called it 'love', it would be undeniable. so, aziraphale asks for crowley to go; asks him to leave before they do something they can't come back from. crowley doesn't listen - crowds him, gets in close, and aziraphale is powerless to stop it. doesn't want to stop it. he's selfish by nature, a selfless kind of selfishness, but he wants this with all his being. and then - "this is too fast, crowley, please don't..." // "im sorry, angel. please... please, forgive me". aziraphale never gets to answer, to grant him that, because boom - the actual first kiss.

so. now that i've had to make you read that, i'm going in for the kill. let's look at everything that follows - and look at how the above might recontextualise it.

1967: the offer of the picnic, the Ritz? ie. the literal lyrics of berkeley square? aziraphale has caved in the interest of giving crowley a weapon to use if all else fails, to protect him, but that's as far as he's willing to progress. everything else is still too painful; he's on the brink of tears, promising that one day they'll be able to do what they want, to be open about how they feel, but not yet. they can't. crowley tries to push, "ill give you a lift, anywhere you want to go..." (him offering again to run away? a second chance to leg it?), and aziraphale reminding him that they can't, he can't... don't make him go too fast again, it's not fair. it also sets up perfectly that aziraphale and crowley don't speak for the next 40 or so years (as far as we're aware) until armageddon is threatened.

bandstand: mostly this is still centred around the apocalypse contextually, but i think with the above hypothetical scene in mind (the offer to hide, to run away, to be together), aziraphale is sent back to remembering their mutual confession that they've nonverbally agreed not to bring up, because it's not safe, and it's too painful. they've skirted around it, and returned instead to a tentative kind of friendship at the beginning of s1, but they're still not safe to address why seeing each other again, being so close to each other and not being able to touch is so painful. anyway - aziraphale refuses their side, but the above scene would re-view this as 'our side can't exist yet, you know this! you know why it can't!', and crowley leaves, again after pushing a bit more than aziraphale can stand.

alpha centauri: basically a facsimile of the above; same steps, same dance. but this time, crowley harks back to aziraphale's foolish (?) hope that they will be together, without having to run away, when the day comes that they don't have to answer to heaven or hell. and aziraphale smacks him right back, echoing crowley asking for aziraphale's forgiveness in kissing him, "i forgive you." crowley knows exactly what aziraphale is getting at, there - he's answering crowley's whispered plea to forgive him for pushing, for trying to force him, for acting in desperation. but he's also not answering that - he's skirting around that very thing, forgiving him like a knife would, slicing back at crowley for not only insulting aziraphale on something that is likely a genuine insecurity of his, but also putting him back in his place, for their safeties, because them being together just cannot happen. not yet.

and "please forgive me" in 1941 might seem out of character, but idk if it is; crowley knows that doing what he's about to do will hurt aziraphale, aziraphale has (hypothetically) told him as much, but he needs to do it - and seeks not benevolence or forgiveness as crowley-the-demon, but actually seems aziraphale's forgiveness, as crowley-the-person. the echo would certainly match the tone given here, in multiple ways:

the ritz: i mean, what is there to say? yes, their song is literally playing on the piano, and heralds the shift in their being out from heaven and hell, the day has finally come where they can - again, going by this entirely hypothetical scene that ive concocted - actually be together as they want to. and the nightingale literally singing outside, but as @shoemakerobstetrician beautifully pointed out, god remarks that it's covered up by traffic. so actually, if we again refer back to R&J interpretation of the nightingale, the love is still hidden, still somewhat under wraps, but can only just about be heard over the noise of the streets outside. the prohibition of them being together, of loving each other, is dwindling. and one day, it'll stop singing altogether. that day is coming, it will come, and then they can do what they please. so whilst the ritz scene may well be a mark of them starting the next chapter, it's slow to take hold, there's still hesitancy - which absolutely makes sense when we see that they are still very tentative with each other come the beginning of s2.

s2 general: aziraphale realises their freedom first; he gets excited by the dance, and being able to show his love to crowley, completely and without barriers, in the form of the ball - what he has read to be the best way to do so. he touches crowley more. he shares his bookshop with him, gifts it to crowley as being his as well as aziraphale's, this safe space that is so wholly theirs that crowley has the power to grant entry. the same with the bentley - aziraphale sees it as theirs, and crowley silently agrees, granting aziraphale the same power. crowley is comfortable in the bookshop to remove his glasses, has a place for them. the bookshop becomes tidier, more minimalist, to make crowley more comfortable in it (it is more cluttered in s1, im certain of it). it might just be the grading between s1 and s2, and lack of clutter, but the yellow is more prominent - his literal favourite colour. everything just screams that aziraphale is ready to make good on his promise from s3-1941.

crowley... for once, is the one not quite catching up. not realising the little dates here and there are literally poses them as a couple (although yes, the coffee shop one is to prep crowley for the goob jumpscare), that aziraphale has granted him the power to grant entry. aziraphale literally asking, practically begging, crowley to help him hide goob. the mf colour of the walls. the colour of the bentley. it's not until nina outright asks him if they are together that he realises how careless they've been - but wait, is it careless if they have nothing to be careful of? well, arguably crowley does, hell are still hanging around him like a bad smell... but this is what he wanted! this is what he was pushing aziraphale for! so, does he risk it? he's not sure, but he's certainly realising that aziraphale is ready, if nothing else. and by the time the ladies stage their little intervention, crowley finally realises that the confession he started in 1941 now can be fully aired, can come out into the open.

the Feral Domestic: *fingers at temples* i know i have been fairly vocal about my interpretation of this scene, and frankly - until we get this hypothetical s3-1941 scene, i stand by it - but let's say this speculation about the scene is true, and re-examine the key points in the Final Fifteen that would completely turn on their heads in terms of meaning:

literally, harking back full circle to what aziraphale promised in 1967 as what they would do when they could fully acknowledge their love, and what they did as soon as - on paper - they were free at the end of s1. this is however before he's spoken to by nina and maggie, so maybe this is what crowley was planning in terms of confessing fully to aziraphale, but after their meddling he realised that yes, they need to actually talk about it again. he doesn't understand why they're telling him what they are - because he's existed so long in gestures and gifts and not talking, literally dismissed it now as a viable option, that it doesn't even occur to him to try talking again.

which is why he does something brave, and tries to tell aziraphale instead (say it out loud, make it undeniable, put a name to it, "i love you", something that i think was crowley's actual intention before aziraphale interrupts him) when he comes back to the shop... he's so nervous, because it's vulnerable, and because the last time he did, they ended up hiding for 50-ish years.

next up:

now, im reluctant to think that aziraphale lied in the Feral Domestic, because i do think the key thing at work is his paramount need to do the Right Thing (ie. make a difference in heaven). whilst metatron obviously manipulates him, im not entirely convinced that aziraphale wholly sees through it. i don't think he knew that metatron was up to something, i think the shaking off of this naivety is going to be part of his s3 character development. but this sentence - again, especially in context of the hypothetical s3-1941 scene - must on some level frighten him. especially if you take this meta into account, aziraphale must realise at least that they were never safe, even when they were denying what they were and how they felt, it didn't make a bit of difference. now, metatron could have just been talking about the arrangement, not referring to any romantic elements of any kind, but the threat of it? no wonder he pushes for crowley to join him in heaven; he could keep crowley safe there. they could be together, and heaven - in his eyes - would be able to say a word against it.

then:

the fear sets in; crowley was too late in telling him, acknowledging that they could be together, realising what aziraphale was saying to him without words, and now heaven has come for him. plonked them right back where they were in s2-1941, but perversely mirrored; instead of hell coming for crowley with violence, heaven came for aziraphale with kindness. crowley doesn't have a magic trick he can just do on the fly, perform it perfectly when the need for it is greatest, and has to cling to the hope that aziraphale still sees them as the barrier to them, the reason they can't be together. and in true miscommunication fashion, i think aziraphale does see it, but what metatron said lingers, and in addition to being inside the institution, changing it from the inside out, in order to make a difference... he knows that whilst it's exactly the opposite of what they wanted, he needs to make them safe. better to be inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.

but aziraphale doesn't tell crowley what metatron said, because instead he either deliberately tries to deny the implications of it (cognitive dissonance king behaviour), or he doesn't want to panic crowley and is trying to convey to crowley that he can't speak his concerns, not when the metatron could still be watching, and instead just needs crowley to trust him, take his hand, and join him in heaven where they can be safe. doesn't tell crowley that heaven hasn't captured him in shackles again, but he's willingly held out his wrists because it's the safest thing for him, and them, to do.

so it's one thing to look at what crowley's saying, but aziraphale's reaction? before, i just found it to be out of confusion, him not really understanding what crowley was saying, but tbh i never paid much attention to it (david stole this bit of the scene - not to put down my beloved michael here, but he did). and i know others have remarked here that aziraphale is flitting his eyes to the window and looks scared and stressed, but i don't completely think that its because he's scared that metatron is watching (although, now, i will accept with the rug thing and hypothetical s3-1941 in context it is definitely playing a part), but also because he's just starting to recognise that this is a repeat of the s3-1941 scene, "this sounds familiar, we've been here before... oh, we've definitely been here before... oh shit. i still can't do this, not unless he comes with me. we still can't be together, not in the way crowley wants. the way he's trying again, now, to ask for."

but the issue is: crowley wants to run away together. again. and i totally get why, but once again, going back to 1941: it's exactly the solution that will not work. they cannot run from this. heaven, and hell, will find them. they will come for them. it wasn't an option in 1941, it wasn't an option in 2019, and it isn't an option in 2023. aziraphale begins shaking his head - crowley is confessing, but a) aziraphale doesn't run from things, it isnt in his character, and b) it's just putting them back where they started - something that they have to hide. it defeats the purpose.

and this? yeah, im sure on neither side it was meant the way im about to interpret it, more of an unspoken thing, idk... but if the bookshop is indeed their place of safety, and is where they (as far as crowley sees it) can speak and keep their love, it makes sense that crowley is telling aziraphale he needs to stay. the bookshop can be interpreted so many ways - it represents their relationship, or that crowley means him, himself - but what if we looked at it like crowley is trying now to covet it, because it's protecting them? what if he's saying, "well, if you won't run away with me, we can't be free to have our relationship as we wanted it, not unless we stay here... heaven has come for you, has come for us, and whilst they're here we can't move. so what other option is left remain in this bookshop? to never leave it, and what we have inside it, because there's no other option in which we can be together if you won't run with me."

and what if aziraphale is saying, "no, i have an option, and that's to be together in heaven! they won't be able to do anything, not when im in the position the metatron has offered me, that can be our new bookshop... nothing lasts forever - this bookshop won't last forever, it's compromised, and we can't continue to secret away what we feel inside it, it's time to move forward."

welcome to the line that breaks my heart the most in this whole goddamn scene - and tbh i think is fairly self-explanatory in the hypothetical s3-1941 context. that aziraphale is trying, once again, to tell crowley that he is offering himself, letting them be an 'us', as crowley says shortly after - that before he couldnt do it, and these arent the best of circumstances, but they can finally do it and not have to hide in the bookshop. but crowley reminds him, "hey, i was in your shoes, remember. i wanted us to be together then, and you told me you couldn't, didn't want a halfway measure - well, now i don't either. and this will be a halfway measure, because i don't think us being together in heaven is going to go the way you hope it will. i understand a whole lot better than you do." in any case, it would explain why aziraphale choses this moment to look so devastated. this is what he promised crowley, but now crowley - to his mind, in the things left Unsaid - doesn't want it... him.

and then... back to the nightingales. they're not singing at all, not even under the rumble of traffic, like they were at the Ritz. they're completely absent - day has broken, the things unspoken have now been said, and there's no denying them anymore. from crowley's point of view, there was nothing to stop them this time, but if aziraphale won't run with him, then they have to go separate ways, because there is no other way. aziraphale knows there's the possibility that the only place they could actually be safe is heaven itself, that the bookshop was never as safe as they hoped it had been, but that crowley might actually come to see that. but the fact that crowley is resigned to just... returning to 'reality', to a world that's still turning where they aren't together? despite everything they've just said? "we could've been... us." well, that hurts.

and then... the kiss. now. im still of the mind that the kiss was an Issue. i definitely think it was meant out of love and desperation, and out of possibly being a goodbye. this would echo the hypothetical s3-1941 kiss... but it was hurtful. it was abrupt, and harsh, and not at all romantic (imo). it was possessive, and almost cruel. i do think still it was a last ditch attempt, a temptation, to get aziraphale to change his mind, before crowley leaves the shop and returns to the 'real world'. but it hurts aziraphale in many different ways - but with 1941 put in there, too? crowley is just testing his resolve, trying to push him, come around to giving in. crowley asked him to forgive him the last time he kissed aziraphale, and this time - this time, aziraphale is giving him what he asked for.

[avengersnewb]

I’m sorry but if you think Aziraphale broke Crowley’s heart and broke up with him, please watch both seasons a few more times and think a bit more critically because it takes a minute of deeper thinking to see Aziraphale also confessed his feelings and begged Crowley not to leave him.

Crowley was the one to go for a kiss, just because that’s how things are always between them. He is the one who does the final push.

Aziraphale was the one who planned a whole fucking ball just to ask Crowley to dance with him. He is the one who thinks of them as “us” throughout the season.

As usual Aziraphale planned the seeds and Crowley harvested.

It just didn’t go as they both hoped it would.

They’re both as heartbroken as each other.

[televised-eyes]

It really saddens me to see Aziraphale get the full force of everyone’s contempt over his reaction to the kiss & here's why:

What do we know about Aziraphale's true character? What they we been shown? Well, he’s a silly angel, who cares too much, loves his partner Crowley and truly wants to do what he believes is the right thing!

Don't get me wrong, I can see why a lot of people side and identify with Crowley after the final fifteen, given his trauma and the fact that he was the one making himself vulnerable by initiating the kiss.

But here the thing: it’s not like Aziraphale acted out of character after hearing Crowley’s proposal. We, as the audience, have been shown multiple times when Crowley has begged for them to run away together and every time we’ve seen it, it has been in a situation where Crowley wants to abandon all responsibility. It’s a trauma response and I don’t blame Crowley for being traumatized by Heaven and Hell. Just like I don’t blame him for not wanting to go back to either.

But Aziraphale has never responded positively to this proposition before. The only difference this time was the kiss. A beautiful, desperate, awkward kiss!

Aziraphale has always been wired to take responsibility and direct action even when he shouldn’t. For him, Azi’s personal code is to always do what he believes is the right thing to do, even if it might not end well. He gives the flaming sword to humanity, he saves Job’s children, he discorporates himself to stop the apocalypse, he does the thing with the halo.

I just don’t buy the narrative that he chose Heaven over Crowley. I think Aziraphale chose Heaven *because* of Crowley. He knew as long as he was in charge, he could keep Crowley safe.

Azi clearly loves Crowley despite his cognitive dissonance at all times. He can talk all the livelong day about how they "aren’t friends," but his actions speak the opposite. He cares deeply for Crowley. Azi trusts Crowley, he lets him get “plenty of use” out of the bookshop, he turns a neighborhood association meeting into a cotillion ball so that he can dance with him, he risked an eternity in Hell by wearing Crowley’s face.

He also knows that Crowley always comes back especially his angel needs him. Unless Crowley does a 180 and returns to Hell to actively thwart Heaven out of spite (which ngl that would great television & a theory I’d like to dwell deeper into elsewhere) this was just another disagreement and they will work it out somehow by working together. And hopefully learn how to communicate clearly!

The very root of the argument was misunderstanding and failure of communication on both sides.

The more I think about the “I forgive you” line, the more I think it may have just been Azi’s gut reaction to read the kiss as one of Crowley’s “temptations.” It’s a loaded word, but I think most people read the kiss as a last act of desperation to convince him to run away. In the past, we have seen Azi’s automatic response to what he feels like is a temptation from Crowley has always been to “forgive” him.

Is it irritating? Yes. Is it good communication? No. Is it a trauma response? I think yes.

I think that’s why the ending of season 2 didn’t upset me as much as it has upset others. I feel like I understand both sides—both how and why Crowley and Aziraphale make their decisions—because the writing is so damn good.

*Aziraphale did not reject or abandon Crowley.*

That last look at Crowley before stepping into the elevator was not a “good bye” or a “fuck you.” I truly believe he looked back to remind himself why he’s doing what he’s doing in the first place!!!

Aziraphale is protecting Crowley because he loves Crowley and believes their relationship is not only worth making sacrifices for, but also strong enough to withstand them!

[maggiehoneybite]

There were a few moments in s2 that made me gasp or tear up. All of them involved Crowley. ❤️

'LET THERE BE LIGHT' and the delight on Crowley's face when he looked on his creation. The sheer excitement and joy and curiosity he exudes, and his well intentioned decision to ask some questions of 'upstairs.' Just the pure heartedness of him. Not a cynical bone in his body, not even the self-preservation instinct that Aziraphale has (when he counsels him to leave well enough alone). To think that he went from this to the jaded demon he is later, it just breaks my heart.

When he saves Job's children. Oh my heart.

The bit where he prevents wee Morag from committing suicide and then assumes hell hasn't noticed because, if they had, he'd be down there already -- and then HE GETS SUCKED DOWN AND PUNISHED. And all we know is that Aziraphale didn't see him for a long time. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM? My poor baby.

The bit where he's in Heaven with Muriel, wearing his awful outfit, and Muriel can't open the file on Gabriel because it's above their pay grade, but he can, and he just says - 'I wasn't always a demon.' The power and competence he still has at his fingertips despite all he's lost. Oh Crowley. Oh my. *Fans self.* #competence kink

The Regency dancing. Fuck me, they actually danced.

His protesting that Aziraphale could never be anyone's 'bit on the side' because he's too pure of heart. Meanwhile HE'S the one who's pure of heart, defending his angel's honour. Crowley, my hero.

The part where the angels don't recognize the Metatron but Crowley does because, despite his demon status, he's the most in tune with the divine, the purest of heart, not blinded by the bureaucracy or politics of it. This, regardless of what you may think of the Metatron.

Pretty much the last quarter of episode 6. His TIDYING UP THE BOOKSHOP and then anxiously waiting. Planning for 'us time' afterwards. His courage in deciding to lay his feelings bare. The SPEECH. The desperate kiss. Putting on his glasses to hide his eyes again. And then waiting and watching by the Bentley until Aziraphale takes the final step into the elevator.

I am dying here. That said, I think this was the right way for Neil to go in terms of narrative arc if we are to have a season 3. You need the angst and the tension to create momentum, which adds depth to the story. If they had tied everything up in a happy little bow, the story would have been diminished. There just had better be a season 3.

[theylikeholdinghands]

A ramble of major spoilery thoughts after the prime premiere screening (episodes 1+2)

Under the cut. Very big spoils, I’m warning you.

My head is jumbled after the masterpiece I witnessed and all I’ll summarise are reactions and some stuff y’all already know from other screenings

Episode 1:

CROWLEY AS AN ANGEL OH MY GOODNESS HE WAS SO HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND HIS HAIR WAS STUNNING. Aziraphale definitely had love heart eyes at him and the whole “oh look at you, gorgeous” thing was legit. Crowley said that and Aziraphale smiled thinking it was aimed at him and then turned as he realised what he meant, the whole cinema room went awwwwww.

No one told me Gabriel fucking rubs his naked self fully against Zira whilst hugging him, I actually died.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY DOES PLAY WHEN CROWLEY IS RUSHING TO THE BOOKSHOP TO PROTECT AND APOLOGISE TO AZIRAPHALE. AAAAAAH

The whole cinema erupted in laughter when Crowley had to do an apology dance and I was screaming. He did end it with a ballerina pose I cannot. Aziraphale said he had to do that apology dance in 1650, 1793 and 1941 (so I hope we see that in the 40s minisode)

Aziraphale being all adorable listening to his records before he got interrupted by Gabriel aaaaaah

GABRIEL SAYS “I LOVE YOU” TO AZIRAPHALE AND ZIRA SAYS THANK YOU and then goes “I…hmm” SAVE IT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Aziraphale is so sweet with Maggie but he has no fucking clue how to be a landlord i stg. Maggie also mentions the lockdowns, so the lockdown audio clip is canon.

Episode 2 Part 1 The Minisode:

The way Aziraphale enters this episode, dramatic ass bitch

I absolutely loved Azicrow’s initial argument about Crowley being evil and killing the goats and then the reveal he never killed them. ZIRA’S SMUG FACE BECAUSE HE KNEW CROWLEY WOULD NEVER HURT ANYTHING. Plus why do they look like they’re gonna kiss in that argument, I saw Zira looking at his lips… maybe his beard

Ty’s character is so camp when flirting with Zira oh my goodness

Gabriel’s long hair reveal got the crowd roaring

CROWLEY TEMPTED AZIRAPHALE INTO EATING AND HIS REACTIONS OH MY GOODNESS

The way they work together to trick the angels into thinking the kids are brand new is comedic gold

The very final scene of the episode is absolutely stunning. They’re both vulnerable and I love the line “I’m a demon, I was lying” comes back in so many ways this episode

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW EVERY REVIEWER SAID FRANCES MCDORMAND WASNT GOING TO BE BACK AND YET WE HEARD HER AND SAW HER NAME IN THE CREDITS

Episode 2 Part 2 Present Day:

CROWLEY SLEEPING IN HIS CAR, MOVE IN WITH YOUR HUSBAND DUMBASS

AZIRAPHALE CALLED THE BENTLEY “OUR CAR” and said he learned how to drive 90 years ago

Crowley’s romantic wooing involves a downpour of rain, sheltering under an awning and looking in to each others eyes to realise whats been there the entire time… ARE YOU OKAY CROWLEY

Crowley didn’t know Jane Austen wrote novels and knew her from a crime background. He picks up Pride and Prejudice in Aziraphale’s bookshop aaaaaaah

When Gabriel is alone alphabetising Zira’s books, he comes across P&P and reads the first sentence. THEN PICKS UP ANOTHER BOOK AND ITS THE FUCKING GOOD OMENS BOOK. NEIL I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

Anyway these are my initial reactions so sorry for the ramble. I hope y’all who haven’t been to a screening get to indulge and look forward to whats coming in just over a day now!

[ineffabildaddy]

only in dreams - post-season 2 aziraphale pov ficlet

my response to this lovely work by @captainblou is below<3

explicit content incoming!!

-

Do you think about our kiss, dear?

I wonder, sometimes, when I find myself missing the nights I whiled away down on earth; the nights I spent reading in my bookshop while the kingdom slept. Do you, like me, routinely touch the soft cushion of your lips in the memory of it? Do you reach round and brush your back with your fingers to remind yourself that I began to caress you there, just as I grasp my lapels for dear life when I am certain no one is looking?

Do I come to you in dreams?

You need sleep every once in a while, darling, I know that. A thorough rest, a true escape from the ineffable struggle of it all. Do I guide you through your slumber? Do I appear before you, an apparition of humble devotion, and take you in my arms? Do I kiss you, slow and kind and generous, until the grip of your hands on my face goes slack and your eyes brim over with the sweetest tears? Do you beg to give to me as you always do, to bestow upon me the gift of your devout attentions?

Do you kneel for me, silent and trembling, as if I am to knight you with my flaming sword? Do you sigh with serenity when, instead, I ease my length into your grateful mouth? Do you remain unfazed, taking me exactly as I am, when I spill down your throat?

Does your unconscious mind cling to the way that I smell, just as mine battles to recall the scent you bear? Does the coarse texture of my hair return to you as the silky, gentle quality of yours gradually slips through my fingers?

Does it finally, truly feel real when you awaken and lie still in the dark? Does all the joy and all the want and all the aching of six millennia strike the breath out of your lungs?

You must, as I do, replay over and over those final moments between us. That time when, at long last, we became one for mere seconds, and then doomed ourselves to crack in two immediately afterwards.

When you drift back into sleep, do you dream that I am inside you? Do you flinch and writhe when I whisper cooling, dulcet praise in your reddened ear, or do you listen without fear, without denial, until I start fucking you? Do you whine for me most beautifully, your palms dancing over the sweat on my back, as I make my home in the slick heat of your cunt? When you come apart, does your gaze rise to commune with mine, or do you press your eyelids tightly together?

In your mind, does the kiss we shared morph into a feverish hallucination, a memory so hazy that you may well have fabricated it? I will not be offended, dear. Until I can be your angel in the waking world, I shall be your angel in dreams. If this is the one thing I can give you, I will pray every day for you to keep receiving it.

I hope you rest well tonight, darling. I shall be there when you do.

-

thank you so so much for reading!!!! feedback and reblogs are endlessly appreciated<3

also on ao3 here:

tagging my faves: @sad-chaos-goblin @foolishlovers @celestialcrowley @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @sabotage-on-mercury @iammyownproblematicfave @omens-for-ophelia @and-his-hands-were-24-crows @tangerine-ginger @greenthena @quoththemaiden @ineffable-rohese @bowtiepastabitch @createserenity

[crookedfandomquill]

I am about to lose my mind with y'all, for real. To recap, we got: tons of new backstory content on Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship; tons of cute new content including them dancing together a la Jane Austen; two other queer relationships meant to parallel and contrast their own; a FUCKING KISS; confirmation from Neil that he has an entire third season planned out and, regardless of whether it gets made in a TV format, will definitely give it to us in some form or fashion... and there are still fans jumping online and acting the fool.

Look. I totally understand if relationship angst isn't your thing. I'm not always in the mood for it, and it has to make sense for the story and the characters. However, feeling a lot of feelings about how the season ended, or wishing it had gone differently as a personal preference, is not the same as getting on this platform and saying, with your whole chest, that it was HOMOPHOBIC for Aziraphale and Crowley to hit a major relationship snag. Was it goddamn sad? Absolutely. Did it hurt my soul? 100%. But there are people claiming that it's part of some new "queer people have to suffer" trend (an emotional bury-your-gays, if you will), and that Neil (noted storytelling genius and LBGTQ ally) wrote this ending as an elaborate form of queerbaiting.

My girls. My gays. My theys. My sweet, silly geese. This is preposterous. First of all, this is not how the story ends. It is a clear and masterful setup for a third season (or whatever form it takes, hopefully TV but we shall see). It's pretty typical for the second act of a story to end in some kind of tragedy or twist that needs to be resolved in the third act, and it's typical because it works great for narrative flow and character development.

Second of all, and I'm begging you to listen to me: it is not homophobic to have your queer couple experience relationship problems. It is not homophobic for there to be pain and difficulty before they get a happily ever after. It is not homophobic to let your queer characters deal with commitment issues, unresolved trauma, or other baggage that temporarily prevents them from being together. This is literally a staple of the romance story, regardless of the sexualities involved, and is something that almost anyone who's been in sexual or romantic relationships has experienced in real life to some degree.

Now, if there were truly a phenomenon in fiction where every single queer couple had to go through astronomical levels of difficulty to get a happy ending, proportional to fictional straight couples, and the sweet, uncomplicated stuff just wasn't there to indulge in, I'd concede a little. But that's just... not true. If you think it is, you may not be reading or watching broadly enough. Queer folk deserve to see queer characters overcome relationship conflict just as much as they deserve to have sweeter, escapist options.

If you're mad about Good Omens 2 because you prefer drama-free escapism in you queer relationships, or were expecting that and felt let down, that's fine, you have a right to your feelings. And it's always hard when you've waited for a story for four years and built it up in your head (which is why I generally try not to do that, but you do you). But, you do not have to justify your feelings by accusing the story of queerbaiting or homophobia. In fact, I beg you not to. Just say that it hurt and you wish it had been happier; it's okay for you to feel that way, and people shouldn't put you down for it.

But propping up your emotions by accusing a piece of media of implicitly contributing to a system of oppression that it actively works to undermine is just not where it's at, folks. There is media that genuinely does that, but this isn't it. Again, have all the emotions about the ending that you want, but stop crying wolf. It's getting old.

[miscriont]

Okay I've thought about this as long as I can stand and--am I the only person who thought this was *awkward*?

I've been chewing on it, reading about other people's reactions, studying frame by frame the movements of Aziraphale's hands and like. I *see* it, I see how y'all get to the "brief moment of reciprocation" conclusion, but.

It is AWKWARD. It is one of the most awkward onscreen kisses I have ever seen.

Why is that??

The characters have chemistry. The narrative has established their relationship. The actors have chemistry; each of them has a proven track record of standout performances. And it's not as though either of them is new at this. So why, with all that on the table, does this look like amateur hour?

I got curious about it, and my hypothesis is this: they're reading from different playbooks.

"Saw it in a Richard Curtis film".

It feels like a throwaway line, something to wink-nudge a laugh out of the audience. There's a bit of confusion immediately afterwards regarding Jane Austen, Prolific Novelist and Jane Austen, Jewel Thief and Crime Lord, and isn't that funny haha look at the clueless celestial beings but almost NOTHING in this show has been just filler, or meaningless.

So who was Richard Curtis and why is he the model for Crowley's attempts at matchmaking? Turns out Richard Curtis directed some of the more iconic romcoms of the 90s and 2000s. I'm talking Notting Hill ("I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her", remember that one?); I'm talking Love Actually; I'm talking Bridget Jones Diary--which, funnily enough, is at the very least inspired by Pride & Prejudice. Sappy monologues and kissing in the rain is this guy's bread & butter.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, wants to try the Austen-esque approach of having balls. There were fairly rigid rules to courtship back in Austen's day. Rules that HAD to be followed, in the right order, or else face social ruin. Austen made her career out of poking fun at those even as her characters worked within them. Point is, you only get to kiss at the end, and one of you better be wearing a wedding dress.

I may be stating the obvious but I haven't seen anyone else talking about it so: one layer to Crowley's and Aziraphale's brainstorming session on how to get Nina and Maggie together is also their way of subtly indicating what they themselves find romantic, and would want someone else to do for them to demonstrate their interest. For Aziraphale it's dancing and atmospheric lighting and having everything just so and *conversations that clear up everything*. For Crowley it's tearful speeches and getting the chance to tell the truth while streetlights glitter through pouring rain, where the protagonists seem to be pulled into a showstopping kiss almost as of by magnetism alone. There's a formula to each of the kinds of romantic storytelling that inspires their different matchmaking styles.

For Aziraphale, The Kiss (because you know this bitch(affectionate) would use the Capital Letters for Emphasis And/Or Significance) skips several steps in the courtship dance he thinks they've been doing. From Crowley's Perspective, Aziraphale is three acts, two scenes behind from where *he* thinks they are. Their kiss looks awkward because they are desynchronized, out of step with each other.

In other words, and in many more ways than just the one, they are not on the same page.

But you know who these two numpties have in common?

William Fucking Shakespeare. My outlandishly speculative prediction for season 3 is their reconciliation will have something to do with Shakespeare's comedic works. The perfect turnabout would be modeling it on Much Ado, with Nina and Maggie playing the bits of Hero and Claudio in fabricating evidence to get them back together: Crowley and Aziraphale messed about with their lives, it's only fair they should get to dish it out.

[may--hawk]

killer queen (ineffable remix)

caviar and cigarettes / well-versed in etiquette

Crowley next sees Aziraphale in a seedy speakeasy across the Atlantic, a place positively dripping with sin and low light, the stink of gin rolling up the stairwell and out the door. When he steps inside the haze of perfume and alcohol and sweat and cigarette smoke fill the air, the room dimly lit and full of couples and would-be couples, a great heady miasma of lust. There’s a soft slow low jazz song playing on the piano and a few couples are dancing, or really just holding each other close, barely moving. He’s in America for a few temptations and yes, alright, to take his mind off the fight with the angel some sixty years before. Yes, he’s still bitter. You spend all this time, literal millennia, doing what it is the angel wants, whenever he bats those wide gray eyes, asking for nothing in return, not even recognition, and then when you ask for one thing, for one measly little thing, he throws it all in your face. So yeah, Crowley’s a little bitter. He’ll get over it in a century or so. He usually does. He starts his sidle up to the bar to get a glass of gin, just gin, nothing else, nothing else needed except the taste of juniper in his mouth until he can’t remember his own name, when he sees the angel.

The angel is wearing - well, the angel’s wearing a set of tits, is what she’s wearing, and a tiny little cream-colored beaded dress, very tight, very low in the front, with some fringe covering her knees - oh, like that’s doing any good - and these dainty little heels, and her white hair tucked up, and she looks like, Satan, she looks like a vision of an angel, is what she looks like, she’s fucking jawdropping, and Crowley feels a sudden surge of hurt, no, anger,1 that the angel would go to a place like this without him, on her own volition, even, dressed like that - ? What is she playing at?

And then he sees exactly what she’s playing at, sees a man light her cigarette as she leans closer than she’d ever been to Crowley2 and she leans back and smiles. Crowley stalks over, pulling his hand up from the ground, giving the man somewhere very pressing to be right that exact second, and as Aziraphale turns, frowning, Satan, she’s wearing fucking pearls, of course she’s wearing pearls, Crowley circles behind her, plucks the cigarette from her hand - “Shouldn’t smoke, angel, s’bad for you” - puts it in his own mouth, and inhales deeply. He can feel the dampness of Aziraphale’s mouth, can taste her lipstick. She raises her eyebrows, entirely unimpressed. Very slowly, not taking her eyes off Crowley, she opens her clutch,3 pulls another cigarette out, puts it between her lips. And waits.

Crowley could do it so many ways. He could flick his lighter, could use a match, could light a spark on his finger, could hold her wrist steady as he lit her cigarette for her. Instead, he leans forward, very close, into her orbit, her perfume a heady cloud making him a little faint,4 and Aziraphale leans in too, almost swaying, her eyes half-lidded with too much gin and kohl, and Crowley touches the tips of their cigarettes together, and they both breathe in at the same time, a half-surprised little inhale, breathing each other’s breath. A twisted kiss. Cigarette lit, Aziraphale settles back, breathing deeply, her chest expanding, beads glittering in the dim light like stars, her eyes raking down Crowley’s body in a way that makes him flush.5 “Thank you, Crowley,” she says, low and husky, and then she turns and walks away, and it’s the second time she’s done it in sixty years, except this time she’s much slower about it, and this time her derriere is much more tightly encased, and this time Crowley’s got to go lock himself in the bathroom6 before he can belly up to the bar and drink them all out of gin, which he does. Twice.

1. No, it was hurt. back

2. Except Edinburgh don’t think about Edinburgh - back

3. Christ her fucking hands he’d nearly forgotten Aziraphale’s hands - back

4. Or maybe it’s her décolletage. back

5. Some fifty years later Aziraphale would remark haphazardly that gin always made him decidedly randy, and Crowley would very nearly rupture the space-time continuum to get back to that particular bar on that particular night. back

6. Embarrassingly enough, he’s not even in there for very long, so the human men waiting in line have no reason to complain. back

Read the rest of the mixtape on AO3.