#at least this gives u an idea of what it's like here on mispyre dot tumblr dot com...

[mispyre-m-blog]

k so i will make a starter call momentarily  &  tysm to everyone who followed me , but for right now i’ve got two headcanons i wanna address before i totally forget about them so jiaklsdf but here we go !!   &&. REMINDER not to reblog my HCs , please and thank you !  

basically , i want to touch on how komaeda feels toward talent  &  himself.  i’ll start with the latter for now and just . . .  try really hard to word this in an understandable manner lmao ??

komaeda , despite his continuous claims that he is  ‘ lesser ’  than people with talent , is very aware of his own intelligence and does not actually consider himself an idiot.  in fact , i’d go so far as to say komaeda considers himself smarter than most if not all of his classmates  ---  not in a  ‘ talent ’ sense , as he is aware that in terms of what their talents are he does pale in comparison   (  ibuki has more musical intelligence , gundam has more animal - based intelligence , sonia has more political intelligence etc , etc  )  but in general he believes he can solve things faster , better , that he is smart.  he isn’t lying when he says he considers himself lesser and he willingly allows others to take the credit for his own findings  /  intelligence as they , those with talent , are the ones that are deserving of  (  & the only ones who are able to be  )  creating hope , thus he  ‘ knows ’  his mind must live through them.  which is why you will catch him in trials not giving whole answers despite blatantly knowing them , because he wants them to come up with their own answers , wants them to create hope because he is not able given his lack of talent  (  komaeda doesn’t consider  ‘ luck ’  a talent and nor do i  )

you can also see this sort of lowkey arrogance in how quick he is to treat everyone once he finds out they’re remnants of despair , and thus cannot create hope  &  so he takes it upon himself to do it  &  also when he makes the comment to hinata about him  ‘ licking his shoes ’  --- which he plays off as a joke , but honestly . . .  it’s not one.  i wouldn’t go so far as to say komaeda doesn’t have self esteem issues !!  he absolutely does and he does think of himself as  ‘ worthless ’  but there’s a resentment there that spawns internal arrogance.  and from there i want to address how he feels about talent. 

komaeda doesn’t like talent.  he’s obsessed with it , yes , but it’s . . .  complicated.  in a way , the relationship between komaeda  &  talent is similar to that of himself and junko : he’s obsessed , he understands that it must be used as a stepping stone , believes  ‘ hope ’  can only be achieved through it . . .  but he doesn’t like it , he wishes it were not the way that it is.  he hates junko more of course , she has a very special little place in his heart , but talent , to him , is necessary.  and it’s that fact that’s unfortunate to him.  ‘ a little dog cannot become a big dog no matter how hard they try ’  or something very similar to that is stated by him in - game , and he doesn’t look particularly happy about it.  he sees talent as a barrier , yes people without it are worthless as individuals but if the world did not idolize talent as it did , the little people , the little dogs , would be able to prosper.  instead they are constantly overshadowed by those that were born special and hope must be achieved through them as they’re the only ones capable with the way the world is structured around them.  komaeda  &  others will never be able to reach that level and he resents it.  which is also why , i think , he is so obsessed with people who have talent being like . . .  amazing at their talent , and being perfect at it and  ‘ but you have talent so you’re so good!! ’  because it’s like . . .  you got this amazing opportunity and life that the majority of us cannot have , you better be fucking using it well ??  he refuses to believe you’re not as talented as they say you are ??  bc that makes the rest of the little ppl even worse ???  ALSO he can adore ppl for their talent but not like them as ppl ??  which is why he can still be positive around classmates he isn’t fond of but still praise them honestly bc hey . . . you’re got talent.  even if ur a fuckin piece of shit person.  so you’re necessary and he isn’t. 

also in line w/ this . . .  post - series  (  my  )  komaeda speaks less of talent as a whole and when he does there’s sort of an air of bitterness to it.  he doesn’t openly diss it really but he’s . . .  tired.  very tired.