#at least i finally understand taxes now

[silver-studios]

Building Ninja Economy: Konoha

Konoha’s known statistics: 5/5 population, 3/5 military, 2/5 economy

Income: How are they making enough?

When I first read these numbers and then realised that Konoha is canonically supposed to be the strongest village, the first thing I asked myself was Why? From these numbers alone, it doesn’t make any sense. They’re overpopulated so there’s fewer resources to go around, both Iwa and Kumo are stronger militarily, and Kumo has a stronger economy to boot, so why is Konoha strongest instead of Kumo? 

Obviously, the answer is that they’re rolling around in the unending padding of plot armour, but it’s still a hard pill for me to swallow. So if Kishimoto won’t do it, I’m going to force things to make sense myself. 

First thing you gotta know: Konoha does not engage regularly in trade. Village income is almost entirely reliant on selling their services as shinobi.

Civilians, of course, are free to engage in trade, but Konoha takes a capitalist approach in that the government doesn’t regulate the market and it is left to the discretion of private individuals. This means that all production and sale happening in the village, which includes all import, export and local selling, is happening without any government intervention.

Which is fine; capitalism has issues obviously but it is usually pretty good for an economy. Except that Konoha’s dumb ass doesn’t levy taxes on production or sale, so the government sees no return on the village having really good circulation of money. The merchants keep 100% of what they make and the government stays where they started. 

This policy probably started off as a way to lure civilian merchants into the village when it first formed so they could be self-sustaining, but then they just kind of forgot to change it because Konoha tends to just not think about the civilians all that much, including what they could gain from them. 

So, their economy is reliant on their earnings as shinobi, the funding they receive from the Daimyo and private investors, and income taxes. For those of you who don’t know, every working adult is taxed on a portion of their earnings every time they receive a salary, and this tax makes up a large portion of any country’s economy. 

Under normal circumstances, this isn’t actually all that bad. They could definitely be making more easily, but Konoha has a lot of shinobi to bring in revenue and a large population to collect taxes from. The village doesn’t have to worry about buying most resources because Fire Country produces almost everything locally and there’s never a lack of merchants or farmers. They sustain themselves and don’t usually have additional expenses.

What is the problem then, you ask? So far, things are adding up. 2+2=4, Konoha isn’t rich but they’re definitely ok, so what’s the problem? The problem: war. And there’s like three of them. Almost one after the other too.

Of course, war is going to affect a ninja economy very differently than it does ours, but it doesn’t change the fact that wars are expensive and terrifying.

War Expenses and Government Debt: They aren’t making enough

Konoha’s revenue almost certainly takes a hit during wartime. They probably have to stop taking missions from other countries because they could be traps, seal their borders to prevent spies, and civilians within Fire might be afraid to commission shinobi services while tensions are high and things are so unsafe for everyone. 

This means that they’re earning less than they normally do, they have to deal with the expenses of buying any necessities missing from their market, they become reliant on local production to bear the weight of sustaining them, and they’re dealing with wartime expenses of buying weapons and supplies and paying shinobi out of their own pocket.

So, even though they won the wars they took part in, it doesn’t just end there. Now, they need to make a full comeback from their economy is currently being in shambles. 

There’s a couple of ways modern governments handle situations like this. A couple of them aren’t possible for Konoha. Basically, if there isn’t cashflow in the country because people don’t have money, the goal is to create cashflow. Either, the government borrows money from the banks and private lenders and does this themselves, or banks print a bit more cash and put it into circulation.

Konoha can’t really do the latter and this is because they don’t have a currency of their own. The entire Continent has one currency which means that it has a fixed value and it is only printed in a few central locations-- usually a Central Bank. Hidden Villages have no control on this cashflow because their economy being in shambles due to exclusively shinobi wars isn’t the Continent’s problem.

So, Konoha has to borrow money from Fire’s central bank and other private lenders so they can give themselves a bit of starting capital, and now the next big problem is obviously to pay off their new debt. 

Why can’t the Daimyo just pay off the expenses of his army? Well, he shouldn’t have to. Canonically, all three wars have been between the Hidden Villages and not the Elemental Countries. The civilians of these nations aren’t at war with each other. Konoha entered these wars of their own volition so the Daimyo has no reason to take responsibility for their actions.

I think the Daimyo have pretty solid peace treaties with one another and they try not to screw it up anymore because they’ve come to a comfortable point where they’re all pretty reliant on each other economically. It’s why we don’t see wide-scale wars anymore-- because it’s be a massive loss all around so there’s very little incentive.

As a result, the Hidden Villages function as their armies only for the off-chance that something happens, and are otherwise left to their own devices when the Daimyo have no further need for them.

Basically, Konoha has to start getting real creative real soon. And they do!

I’m not gonna lie and claim I’m any sort of economic genius, so I’ve absolutely stolen these ideas from real-world scenarios. For Konoha, I’m stealing Alexander Hamilton’s plans for getting a newly formed America out of its massive debts and on its feet post-independence. 

In general, what lets Konoha maintain its comfortable seat of power is the fact that they’re really good at economically managing the aftermath of the wars. And, as much as I don’t like him, I’m going to attribute this to the Sandaime Hokage. I think it’s a neat way to explain why everyone (including civilians) respected him so much and it’s a more fun reason for his nickname ‘The Professor’ spreading. It could have started because of jutsu but, to the civilians, it’s more symbolic of him being smart to keep them out of poverty. 

So, the first thing they do post-debt incurring is reexamine their tax policy. Increasing taxes is always a surefire way to get your people to hate you, but luxury taxes like those on alcohol and tobacco tend to be a safe bet. So, the Hokage imposes those and then adds export charges to boot so that people have more incentive to be selling their products within the village instead of outside. 

The next step is to sell or rent out public lands. Every government has portions of lands they own, and Konoha is no different. They’re lucky in that land is always in high demand in Fire, and especially so in Konoha. Senju Hashirama’s mokuton has a tendency of lingering and the result is that their lands tend to be more fertile, practically guaranteeing high return on agriculture. 

The good thing about selling or renting those lands is that not only do they make money on the initial sale, they now get to levy property taxes there too. 

They also create job vacancies by starting rescue and relief projects. Moreover, they weaponise the demand for their well-known medical services and encourage medical tourism by charging foreigners on healthcare.

Maintaining consistency with these few changes is enough for them to pull through and pay off their government debt when combined with their resumed mission income, and though they’re far from the richest village, things do return to the status quo.

Miscellaneous: Back to the regularly scheduled programme

Most of the village income comes from B-, A-, and S-rank missions. This means that jounin contribute the most to the village’s economy. 

Missions aren’t the only source for shinobi to earn money. Outside of T&I, there are also divisions for courier ninja, mission assignment, archive and record keeping, Research & Development, tutoring, mednin, cook-nin, code breaking and encrypment, and teaching at the Academy. 

Some of these positions require you to only have graduated the Academy (even if you never made genin), and others require a university degree or proof of apprenticeship. They receive a regular salary instead of relying on how many missions they run.

You only receive pension if you retire past a certain age, incur a career ending injury, your guardian is killed in line of duty, or are declared mentally unfit for further duty. 

In another display of how Konoha gives power to its clans, clan members do not pay taxes. Instead, the clan collects a portion of each member’s earnings (usually left to the Clan Head’s discretion) and then pays a fixed amount on everyone’s collective behalf. 

The Police Force receives a biannual budget and funds their activities and members through it. Maybe they were underpaid and it just pissed the Uchiha off even more that they were incurring financial losses and having to dip into their personal treasury as a clan because of the taxes when there wasn’t actually enough income. 

Civilians have stricter guidelines on what counts as a clan by Konoha’s standards so they have a harder time getting legally recognised as one even if they function as one. 

Konoha actually invests in arts and infrastructure pretty often for a shinobi village. It’s a Land of Fire mentality-- if you have the time and resources to be investing into these things, it’s a mark of wealth and development. Essentially, it’s a show of power. They’re flexing. Most of the other Hidden Villages really dislike them for it. They think it’s obnoxious.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨: 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the day had finally come to bring little matteo to the track. charles had been waiting for this day since he was born, but made sure to wait until you were ready. now matteo is 6 months old and his father couldn’t be more excited to show him everything he could about f1

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of anxiety, harsh media but other than that, lots of fluff!

𝐚/𝐧: here she is! chapter two and man have the past few days been taxing on me, i’m just trying to focus on writing and ignoring everything else so, i hope your enjoying this series and are looking forward to this chapter! it’s a bit on the shorter end but i hope that’s okay, i haven’t been feeling well lately<3

𝐰𝐜: 900 ish…?

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

It was finally the long-awaited day, well for Charles at least, where little Matteo was finally going to be heading to the track to watch the grand prix. Well technically you had agreed to qualifying day and if all went well then you would come back for the race on Sunday. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to bring your baby boy to watch his father do what he loves, you were still just an anxious new mom, and your husband knew that.

“Okay, extra bottles…his pacifier, pluto the dog”

“Baby, I think you have everything..”

Shaking your head you paused

“Charles, I need to make sure I have everything because if I don’t and he freaks out I-I just”

“Whoa..okay..”

Charles placed his hands on your shoulders, your eyes coming up to meet his which of course were full of nothing but love for you

“Are you sure you want to come?” he asked, no hint of disappointment at all

“Yes, I do..Char I promise I do..I’m sorry I just am all over the place I suppose”

Charles nodded, understanding exactly where you were coming from, thankfully the two of you were able to have a quiet moment together as Matteo napped before you had to leave

“It’s okay, I know you’re anxious, but we’ll take it one step at a time okay? When I can’t be with you I know Joris or Marta will be right?”

You nodded

“You also know if you need anything at all you can have someone from the team get me right away right..?”

He waited until you nodded once again before pressing a kiss to your forehead

“Right…no you’re right..okay I think I have everything ready to go then”

“Good, then let’s go get the little man and head out!”

-

Monaco was a beautiful city, but on race week and weekend it seemed to get that much more magical. The paddock was no different, familiar faces and friends could be spotted easily, Charles’s family around as well which was perfect for Matteo

“Bonjour petit ours!”

At the sound of Arthur Leclerc’s voice, Matteo squealed as he began to wave his little arms around, the younger Leclerc brother quickly coming over and taking him from you, before leaning forward to pull you in for a hug, placing a kiss on both of your cheeks

“Bonjour chouchou”

“Hi Thur, nice to see a familiar face”

He smiled

“Yes I would think so, this year is a bit crazy, I was just about to walk over to the Ferrari garage if you want company?”

“I’d love that! Where is Carla?”

Matteo placed a hand on Arthur’s cheek as he babbled away, his little eyes looking at everything around him

“Oh she is on her way, i’m sure she’ll be glued to you both”

Ever since you’d started your relationship with Charles and had the chance to meet Carla when she came into Arthur’s life, you’d been super close to one another, it was like having a little sister all in one.

“Well he seems to be quite content to be here”

You smiled as you looked at your little one, his eyes still enamoured by the sights and noises

“I’m surprised, I was so anxious he’d be scared of everything”

“He is a Leclerc, he was born for this.”

Arthur sent you a wink as you both arrived at the garages, truth be told the comment he made had sent a bit of worry throughout you. Charles grew up karting, and it was something he had begun to talk to you about with Matteo, and you were absolutely terrified. Terrified at the thought of him getting in that little kart, terrified to watch him go fast and potentially get hurt. It was a thought for another day.

Matteo had settled back into your arms as his uncle kissed his head and then walked away towards some of his F2 friends he’d spotted, giving you time to bring your baby boy over to the garage. It wasn’t long before he let out his tell tale excited squeal, and it meant he had either spotted his father, or Max Verstappen. Matteo’s relationship with Max was something so adorable, he’d gotten close to the dutch driver from a young age, and he and Kelly had always been two of the first people you’d call to babysit, besides your mother in law of course.

“Hey there little speed demon!”

You rolled your eyes at Max as he was quick to come over and take Matteo from you

“Oh sorry Y/N didn’t even see you there” he teased

“Sure, no I totally understand, I’m virtually invisible when I’ve got this cutie with me”

Max went to rebuttal when an arm slipped around your waist and a pair of lips pressed to your temple

“Tu n’es jamais invisible pour moi, chérie”

“Aww merci bébé!”

Leaning into Charles you laughed as Max was quick to cover Matteo’s eyes

“Come on, we need to escape, too much grossness here for you baby leclerc!”

“Bring him back before quali please!”

Charles yelled as Max began to walk away, the red bull driver yelling a ‘you got it!’ back before it was just you and your husband.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked letting you lean further into his side, knowing you needed a bit more comfort, especially when Matteo wasn’t around

“A bit better, Teo’s been loving every second..I should have known everything would be okay”

“No, it’s okay to be anxious you know that, it’s his first time here…I know you’re anxious right now knowing he’s not with you”

You hated how easily he could read you, and man did he know you inside and out like a book

“He’s safe with Max, i’m sure he’s gone to see Kelly as well, if you want I can call him?” he offered which had you shaking your head

“Oh no, let him enjoy his time, though i’m sure Maman will be over soon begging to take him, I think she’s jealous of Max”

This had Charles laughing as he nodded in agreement

“Yes she was telling me the other day that he spends far too much time with Max”

“We’re so lucky aren’t we?”

“We are.”

It always occurred to you that unlike some families you would never ever run out of love, in fact you had an abundance of it. From your friends and family, to Charles’s friends and family. Matteo would always grow up with so many people around him that adored him just as much as you and Charles did.

Even if there was a deeper conversation waiting and gnawing at you to be had, it could wait for another day. Right now you only wanted to focus on your family and Matteo as he got his first taste at Formula One track life. Nothing could wipe the smile off your face seeing how happy your boys were. Charles had settled into being a father so gracefully, managing his time at work and at home in a way that had you so grateful.

“It’s almost quali..we should go find Teo”

“Good idea, Max has stolen my son enough!”

Shaking your head, Charles took your hand and began to walk towards the one spot you knew where he would be. Soon enough, you saw your little boy laughing and clapping as he was entertained by not only Max but Christian as well.

At least you knew if Ferrari didn’t pick him when he got older Red Bull would.

english translations:

Bonjour petit ours - hello little bear

Bonjour chouchou - hello sweetheart

Tu n’es jamais invisible pour moi, chérie - you are never invisible to me baby

Aww merci bébé - thank you baby

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[tinydefector]

Hooray!!! Omg i’m so happy lol. I’m definitely going to be smiling for the rest of my day. I finally had time to think about it and how about a platonic familial scenario with mtmte magnus and the ambassador on break and casually chatting, fluff please. let me know if you need more details, and take your time <3

(i’ve been having data problems so hopefully this ask sends through 😅)

Out of the bag - human effects

I had so much fun writing this Buddee and I hope you like it!.

Word count 1.6k

Ultra Magnus x human reader

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________________

The ambassador sat quietly working through files while on the desk, fingers pinching their temple as they re-read the text. A hot drink beside them as they worked. Ultra Magnus sat at the desk as he too worked. It would have been rather funny to look at, A large alien robot sitting at his desk working while his co-worker who was much smaller sat on the same desk on their own seat with a desk. They looked almost like they were a toy figure. 

They take a sip of their drink and roll their shoulders slightly. "Please tell me I don't have to fix another 15 files of Rodimus getting side tracked again and typing out random words like Chinchilla?" They mumble almost like a pray.

Ultra Magnus cycled a weary ex-vent, field rippling with long-suffering patience. "I'm afraid so, Ambassador. The captain seems...incapable of submitting forms in any semblance of proper order." He pinched the bridge of his olfactory sensor, nearly the same pose as them. an unmistakably human mannerism picked up from long acquaintance. "At this rate, reconciling his haphazard paperwork will occupy the majority of your work cycle."

Magnus observed the ambassador's flagging energy levels with mild concern. "Perhaps you should take a brief respite. Overexerting yourself serves no purpose - I can handle the captain's responsibilities for the time being."

His tone, while stern, held an undercurrent of genuine care. Despite their differences, he cared deeply for the ambassador; their well-being remained in everyone's best interests. 

"The schedules can wait. I suspect you've had enough excitement for one orn already." A hint of dryly amused. "I'll be alright Magnus, Just got a headache and sore. Really wasn't planning on dealing with reports, but it beats having to do holovids with Prowl, I want to strangle that mech some times." They reply leaning back in their seat, bringing their drink up and holding it in their hands as they close their eyes for a moment.

Prowl's combative nature makes diplomatic discourse a...trial, to say the least." He cycled another heavy ex-vent. "Though I must say, your own entanglements have proven equally...taxing, of late." Magnus leveled them with a pointed look, with a hint of mild disapproval.

"I trust you understand the risks involved, consorting so closely with the crew. Propriety and protocol exist for good reason - to maintain order and prevent compromising our mission." 

Yet beneath the stern admonishment, a thread of genuine concern shone through. "I only caution you to tread carefully, little one. The games played aboard this ship can be...treacherous, for those caught unawares."

His gaze softened marginally. "I would not see you come to harm, simply for wishing to find companionship in these trying times. Despite what you and others may think i do care about you" 

Embarrassment slowly works its way into their system as they look down as if they were a child who just got caught stealing something. "How.. how did you" they start not knowing how to continue talking. "Come now, Ambassador - did you truly think your...activities would escape my notice?" Magnus replied, a hint of wryness in tone.

He shook his helm slightly. "I may be strict, but I'm not blind. The signs were...quite evident.” Leaning back in his chair, Magnus fixed the ambassador with a measured look. "I'll not lecture you on proper conduct - Primus knows life aboard this ship is complicated enough as it is." Attempting to soothe their clear discomfort. "However, I must urge caution. Entanglements with subordinates."

They continue to look down for a moment processing his words. "I know, I wasn't planning on getting involved with anyone, it just sort of happened. Told Ratchet that it was to stay on the down low, and Ratchet had the same concern about risk, he wanted to make sure if something did happen with other bots outside of him and Drift that i had someone to trust if something happened. I was just worried that if you, Rodimus or Megatron found out. My job was gone" they mumble, they were filled with so much anxiety and panic over the situation only for the mech they feared the most about it to just say he knew. 

Magnus cycled a heavy vent. "I see. That...explains certain observations, I must admit." He rubbed a servo over his faceplate. "Ratchet and Drift, of all mechs. I confess, I had not anticipated that particular entanglement."

Fixing the ambassador with a level stare, Magnus continued, "However, you needn't fear repercussions from myself or the others." A hint of wryness entered his tone. " We've all been there, at one point or another." 

They let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Magnus, and I'm making sure to look after myself. Woah just wasn't expecting to be having this conversation with you is all. You have no idea how much fear I had about you finding out about my um.. 'activities'. You bots aren't exactly subtle about your 'human fucker' content  " they state before slowly having another mouthful of their drink.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "I understand your concern. confess, even I am not entirely immune to the temptations that arise. However, I endeavor to maintain strict protocols."  Magnus continued solemnly, "I cannot - and will not - control the personal affairs of my crew. That is a burden I do not wish to bear."

A hint of wryness entered his tone. "Though I must admit, the antics of Megatron and Rodimus have certainly tested my patience on more than one occasion. They are both very fond of you"

“I had a feeling they were. Magnus you being tempted, now that's new to me, I'm sorry they are causing you trouble” they chuckle, smiling up at him, enjoying the banter.  

"Ratchet and Drift both know I'm not interested in a relationship, it's mainly just stress relief, and i think Sunstreaker just has a bjt of a kink for someone who isn't going to scratch his paint" they confirm, making him aware of yet another bot involved. Magnus's optics widened fractionally at the mention of Sunstreaker - another unexpected development in this tangled web. "I see. So Sunstreaker as well, hmm?"

”It would appear you...ambassador has been quite diligent in cultivating a support network aboard this ship." Fixing the human with a measured look, Magnus continued, "And you are certain this...arrangement suits you? Entanglements with the crew, regardless of intent, can prove...complicated."

The nod. “Yes, I'm content and want to keep this on the down low, I don't need it getting back to my superiors on earth, nor do I need Prowl making issues of it.” They explain. In truth they were very happy with the arrangement, and felt less guilty now that they were talking with Ultra Magnus over the situation. 

"I merely wish to ensure you are not inadvertently placing yourself in jeopardy, little one." Magnus paused, considering his next words carefully. "However, if this provides you the stress relief you require, then I shall refrain from further commentary." A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Though I must admit, I'm somewhat impressed by your...resilience, in the face of such formidable suitors."

It makes their face fluster as they look away from him quickly. “That's not funny and you know it” they huff under their breath only for him to let out a soft rumbled noise. Shaking his helm ruefully, the Autobot commander returned his attention to the ever-present datapads. "Very well. You have my discretion and, should you need, my counsel as well."

"They have all been good to me, very respectful and accommodating. They mainly have been dead quiet about involvement because of you actually." They hum. "Well technically you, Megatron and Rodimus. You three I do look up to alot, and your opinion means alot to me. I was just worried you would have me court martialled and shipped back to earth for fraternization "

Magnus's field rippled with a mix of surprise and begrudging respect. "I see." 

"While I cannot condone such...personal entanglements, I confess I am impressed by your discretion thus far. It speaks to a level of maturity and pragmatism I had not anticipated." Magnus met their gaze steadily. "You have proven yourself a valuable asset to this ship. I would not see that jeopardized, simply due to youthful indiscretions." 

With that now out of the way they sit there quietly before looking up at ultra Magnus from their spot sitting on the desk. "Could I have a hug, at the moment I can feel myself shaking from the fear and anxiety " they try to joke and make light of how afraid they were of him finding out. 

Magnus regarded the ambassador with a soft expression, field pulsing understanding. "Of course." He gently scooped them up, cradling their small frame against his chest in a rare display of tenderness. "There is no need to fear, Ambassador." His deep voice rumbled with reassurance as he lightly stroked their back.

They lean their head against his plating, relaxing against him.  "Thank you, you're a real one Magnus. No one will ever change that" Magnus rumbled softly, the vibration soothing against the ambassador's frame. "You are most welcome. I am merely doing what I believe is right."

He gently adjusted his hold, ensuring their comfort as they leaned into him. A rare, small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "You have earned my trust, Ambassador. That is no small feat."

With that, Magnus simply held the ambassador, allowing them the chance to find solace in the steadiness of his frame. And in truth he rather enjoyed holding them close. 

_______________

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[ficsilike-reblogged]

Take On Me

Summary: What happens when the love of Bob’s life finally makes a move…the night before he deploys? Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd/F!Reader (No Y/N) Word Count: 4k ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED A/N: This is an entry for the 80’s Rocktober Challenge hosted by @roosterforme - I picked a-ha’s song “Take On Me.” I hope y’all enjoy! This is Bob’s side story from my Jake series, Invisible Smoke. But you don’t need to read that to read this. Warnings: Naval inaccuracies, unprotected sex, cockwarming (?)/unrealistic post-sex activities, angst (with a happy ending), being bad at feelings

Bob didn’t particularly like nights before deployment. There were the obvious reasons—being shipped out and stuck on a carrier for weeks on end wasn’t exactly the best part of his job—but the pageantry of the night before, the dress whites, the careful goodbyes, that was what he really hated.

Natasha had dragged him to the Hard Deck so he could at least say goodbye to a few friends in person since he had already video called his family. He watched Natasha pull Bradshaw out onto the deck for a quieter moment alone. It was about time they got together. Bob had been one of the few who knew about her feelings for their fellow aviator and he had accidentally discovered that they were reciprocated a few days after the Uranium Mission. It really had been kind of ridiculous watching them dance around each other for months.

He was happy they were finally together. Really. Who wouldn’t be happy to see two of his closest friends be happy? But it really just twisted the dull knife behind his ribs that always came when Bob realized how alone he was. He didn’t have someone to say goodbye to like that.

Penny gave him another ginger ale with her usual sweet smile before he started back toward the table in the corner where he’d left his hat. He pushed through the crowd, earning a few slaps to his back and claps to his shoulders by other patrons who knew what awaited him in the morning, and settled back into his seat with a sigh. He scanned the crowd, seeing Harvard and Yale chat up two women on what looked like a bachelorette trip and then Payback and Mickey dancing with their wives near the jukebox. Payback’s wife, a stunning woman named Sidney, pulled back just enough to wipe tears from her cheeks. Payback gently knocked her hand away and finished for her before kissing her forehead. Bob turned away, feeling like he was intruding with a persistent tightness in his chest.

And his traitorous mind conjured your smiling face, bright and happy.

What Bob had with you was…nice. It was quiet and gentle and strictly platonic, right now. Bob would never understand how Hangman was the one to introduce you to him.

“Trust me, Baby on Board, you’ll love her. She’s perfect for you.”

Bob had been fully prepared to grit his teeth and bear whomever Seresin had deemed ‘perfect,’ and expected to meet an Instagram model or a gym buddy of his—not that there was anything wrong with them, they were usually lovely but just a little intense. But then you walked in.

You with your thick-rimmed glasses and soft smile and softer laugh.

While Jake bragged on your behalf, stating that you were the best CPA in the city, the only person he’d trust with his taxes, andthat Penny trusted you with the Hard Deck’s books, you fiddled nervously with the bendy straw Penny had given you in your little cup of pop.

It was Jake’s fiancée—a good friend of Bob’s who deserved the world, if anyone asked him—who quieted the man’s well-meaning rant with a hand on his arm. “I think he gets it. She is amazing.” The other woman winked and earned a soft smile from you before turning back toward her fiancé. “But you still owe me a game of pool, yeah?”

As the couple walked away, leaving you and Bob alone, your (beautiful) eyes tracked up to meet his gaze. Your smile was small and soft and you drummed your manicured nails against the plastic cup in your grip. “It’s nice to meet you.”

And that was it, really. You had asked Bob if he knew how to play pool and then he offered to teach you. That led to soft giggles and missed trick shots and then quiet conversations about your lives and phone numbers exchanged before you parted ways for the night.

It was…good. Really. Even if it always teetered on the edge of becoming something more but never did.

Bob liked your good morning texts and the way you insisted on paying for brunch every time you invited him to try a new restaurant that just opened up. He liked that you didn’t mind helping him get the rest of the Daggers home from the Hard Deck if they had one drink too many. He liked that the people he trusted with his life liked you.

He…liked you. And he knew it was getting dangerously close to a different L word and that just had his mind circling back to how much he hated nights before deployments. You weren’t here. Bob didn’t blame you, of course. One of your more “difficult” clients had needed your attention immediately and had flown you out to Los Angeles about a week ago and Bob hadn’t wanted to disturb you with the news of the deployment. He’d asked Jake’s fiancée to tell you when you got back into town and he had an email queued up to be sent to you, too, crossing his fingers that he’d be able to still talk with you when you both had a moment to spare.

His gaze once again roamed around the bustling bar and unintentionally picked out all the couples. Dammit. Maybe, he just needed to get some sleep. He needed to be on the carrier early tomorrow morning anyway and wallowing in self pity wasn’t really a good waste of time. He finished his soda and waved to Penny and then placed a few bills on the bar to cover his tab before setting off toward the door.

This was good. He could get back to base and get some sleep before getting to the carrier just after dawn. But, as he moved around a rambunctious pair of lieutenants jockeying over their stances for darts, he nearly collided with a solid, soft body.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

Familiar hands pressed at his chest in a bid to stay upright and the scent of rose and amber immediately flooded his senses. And Bob knew immediately it was you.

Bob set his hands on your hips with a growing smile and watched the realization dawn on your face. “Bob!” A smile he could see in his dreams broke across your lips before you wrapped your arms over his shoulders in a tight hug. “I’m so happy I caught you. I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.”

It took Bob a moment to shake himself free of the shock of your arrival and gave you a smile of his own. Some higher power was laughing at him right now (or maybe it was just Seresin) because Bob thought you’d never looked more beautiful in your short dress with buttons all the way down the front and strappy heels. “I didn’t know you were back.”

Your smile widened the slightest bit and you glanced at something over his shoulder, raising one hand to wave at someone. Bob turned in time to see Jake and his fiancée both raising their glasses in his direction. They knew. They had planned this.

But, when one of your hands swept over his shoulder to rest over his happily thrumming heart, all the embarrassment and gratitude he could have expressed at that moment crumbled away. He could deal with them later (and by ‘deal with them,’ Bob meant probably buy them a round and say thank you).

“Want to get out of here?” You asked, fingers brushing over the carefully arranged pins on his chest before thumbing at one of the ornate buttons of his jacket.

Bob knew you didn’t mean it like that, despite your wandering fingers, but he still had to suck in a quick breath to steady his thoughts before smiling. “Yeah, let’s go, sweetheart.”

You were quick to drop one of your hands to his, tugging him toward the door with a soft laugh he knew so well. The night air was tinged with salt water and the barest hint of spilled beer as soon as you stepped outside and down the handful of steps onto the parking lot. You gave him another smile over your shoulder as you started, “I hope you don’t mind-”

Bob fought the urge to say something that had been on the tip of his tongue for months and instead settled for, “you have to know that I never mind.”

You laughed again and shook your head but the noise quickly stalled when your foot connected when one of the concrete parking dividers and you nearly toppled for the second time that night. Bob tightened his grip on your hand and kept you upright with a quick tug that had you stumbling forward until you collided with his chest with a soft ‘oof’ and you laughed as you tucked your face into his jacket for a moment. You had a habit of doing that, hiding your smiles in the safety of Bob’s body. His neck, his chest, his shoulders, his arms. All of them had been places for you to squish your face. He never did mind, happily accepting any sort of physical affection you would bestow. Knowing you trusted him enough to keep you safe when you felt vulnerable.

Again, Bob knew he was dangerously close to that other word.

“I swear I haven’t had a drink at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight.” Your voice shook and Bob tried not to read too much into that either as you looked down and groaned. “Oh, maybe that’s why. My shoe’s come undone.”

Bob didn’t even blink before kneeling on the pavement and grasping at the delicate straps. He could feel the heat of your skin as he carefully threaded the strap through the buckle again and as he tugged it closed again, the pads of his fingers brushed against your ankle and you were just as soft as he imagined.

What he had not imagined was the shiver his simple touch would elicit from you. You let out a strange, stuttering breath as Bob looked up at you. Oh.

Maybe it was the growing adrenaline from the impending deployment, or maybe the way the low lights were reflecting in your eyes, or maybe it was a dawning realization that you could maybe feel the same as he did. His fingers trailed up your leg as he took his time standing, almost smirking when he felt how goosebumps raced across your skin.

Your next breath stuttered and Bob felt it against his neck as he finally stood straight and once again settled his hands on your hips.

“I um…” Your throat bobbed. “Th-thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

His position and training as a WSO had Bob picking up on minute details, but he’d always been that way. He was the kid who was delighted with a ladybug landing on his jeans when the rest of his family watched booming fireworks on the Fourth of July. So, he noticed when your eyes flickered down to his lips. You moved closer and your lips puckered.

You were going to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him.

But Bob didn’t move forward to close the distance, no matter how much he wanted to and he watched your face crumple.

“Bob?” Your voice was weak as he took a small step back; Bob didn’t let you go far and kept his hands firmly planted on your hips. He wouldn’t let you go. Not yet. “Did I do something wrong? I…I’m sorry. I thought-”

But he just shook his head, ducking his chin the slightest bit toward his chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart. I just want to make sure this is what you actually want and not because I’m shipping out in a few hours. Deployments make people think-”

You moved to grasp his face, trying to tilt his chin just enough to make him look at you again. There was a desperation in your gaze that let him know that you needed him to hear you, make him understand. “Bob, I can’t lie and tell you that this deployment has nothing to do with it, all right? But this is the first time you’re being sent away from me. I know these things can be dangerous. I know that. I’ve heard horror stories about…” You couldn’t even finish the thought and shook it away. Your thumbs pressed gentle arcs into his cheeks before you dropped your hold. “Let’s just get out of here, okay? We can pretend none of this happened and just go get ice cream and sit and silence and watch the water until you’re sick of me.”

“I don’t think I could ever get sick of you,” Bob said, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could even think of how that would sound to you.

An unsteady smile pushed at your mouth as you took a step backward and then another and another until you were leading him toward your car—Bob quickly redirected you toward his trusty GMC and opened the door for you with a smile of his own. The air in the truck’s cab was tense for a slow song or two, just long enough for you to squirm in your seat until Bob reached over and grabbed your hand.

He didn’t want to upset you—it wasn’t an outright rejection, not at all—he just wanted to be sure that you wanted him like he wanted you.

Bob didn’t do this. He didn’t spend the entire night talking, laughing, pretending he didn’t have to disappear for a few weeks. But with you it felt right. It felt like he should have been doing this with you for months. Years.

Ice cream was purchased at a small roadside shop and Bob pulled onto an overlook and shut off the truck, letting the dim moonlight fill the cab as you both quietly ate your sweet treat—strawberry for Bob, pistachio for you. It was calm and peaceful, a far cry from the noise of the Hard Deck, but he could feel when you started to get nervous again, curling your hands into the skirt of your dress for a moment before starting to fiddle with the cloth-covered buttons on the front.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the deployment?” You asked, and Bob could hear the trepidation in your voice. You turned in your seat to face him and Bob was quick to do the same and you both scooted a little closer to each other on the bench seat, legs awkwardly skirting around the stick shift. “I would have come home sooner.”

But Bob just shook his head and felt his nose scrunch as he tried to pick his words carefully. He didn’t stop until he felt you trail your finger across his brow, wordlessly telling him to relax. Bob couldn’t even remember when you had started doing it, but he had savored it every time and felt his shoulders slump while he finally found the words. He carefully reached up and grasped your hand, linking your fingers together for a moment. “I don’t think I knew how to say goodbye to you.”

You searched Bob’s face and he tried not to hope too much with the look in your eyes. “Bob, I… you don’t have to have anything special to say to me. But please just say something.”

Bob didn’t even realize he was moving until his lips were firm against yours, almost unyielding. Your glasses clicked together as his hand anchored itself on the back of your neck and tilted your face just so but neither of you seemed to mind. He could feel your smile against his mouth.

Your fingers sunk into his hair as his tongue slid against the seam of your lips. He’d give you anything anything anything, and this was no different. All his thoughts about the deployment, about what waited for him in the morning, flew out the window as he hauled you closer, pulling you onto his lap. The warmth of you immediately sank through the heavy fabric of his trousers and he groaned. The noise earned him a breathy sigh against his mouth and your hips sinking and rocking against his again.

“I wanted to do this right. I wanted to do this right with you,” Bob murmured against your mouth as his fingers swiftly undid the buttons down the front of your dress.

“You are,” you said, tone breathy and bordering on needy. “I promise you are. This feels right. Everything feels right with you.”

Bob’s fingers stalled and his bright blue eyes moved up your face until they were boring into yours. “Sweetheart…”

“I mean it,” you said. “Everything feels right with you.”

It might have been less of a shock for Bob if someone had hit him in the chest with a baseball bat. Something whispered at the back of his mind to tell you, to tell you now and make sure you were saying what he thought and hoped you were saying. But he didn’t. Because wouldn’t that be cruel? To draw that out of you before leaving for weeks at a time with no firm promise to return to you? So, instead he kissed you again and tried to press into his mind the way you felt against his mouth as he pushed your dress from your shoulders. He moved to press you down across the bench seat and licked at the thrumming pulse in your neck as he peeled the little scrap of lace down your legs and then shoved them into his pocket.

He would keep those.

Bob moved, knee knocking into the steering wheel for a moment, shoving himself between your thighs after shrugging off his jacket. He pressed a kiss to your ankle, your knee, your thigh, before nosing at your perfect hip bones.

“Bob,” you whined. “Bob, please.”

The salty tang of you was immediately addicting and Bob wrapped his arms over your thighs and dragged you closer closer closer with each flick and twist of his tongue. He could do this forever. He shouldn’t have waited this long.

Your fingers curling through his hair knocked any other thought right out of his head and all that was left was you you you and how your thighs clamped over his ears as you came.

When your legs stopped shaking enough, you hooked your hands behind his head and hauled him up, pressing a rushed, sloppy, perfect kiss against his mouth. Bob’s hands skimmed over the soft skin of your thighs as he settled between them, feeling your wet heat soak his skin.

“Please,” you whispered against his mouth. “Please.”

Bob’s knee hit the horn when he went to shove his trousers and briefs down and he was embarrassed only for a moment but laughed along with you as you dragged him back into your hold, kissing him sweetly as you helped him move back into the cradle of your thighs. You felt divine. Warm, wet, and tight…and perfect. And every movement felt even better. You were clawing at his back as Bob mouthed at the swells of your breasts. You were everywhere, he was everywhere, and he couldn’t get enough.

“Pleasepleaseplease,” you whimpered when he raised his head again to lick into your mouth.

Faster and faster, Bob drove into you until you were shaking in his grip, sighing against his spit-slick lips and Bob was quick to follow, collapsing over you and hips rutting into yours lazily in a mindless haze until you whined against his mouth. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured as he maneuvered just enough to press up onto his forearms on either side of your head. Bob didn’t move to pull out, not just yet, enjoying your warmth for a little longer. Just a little longer.

You were beautiful. Sweaty and makeup smudged, you were gorgeous. Bob trailed a finger across your cheek, catching a tear as it slid from your eye.

“Sweetheart?” Did he hurt you? Did something happen-

“Stay with me?” Your eyes were wide and pleading as your grip tightened on his shoulders just a fraction. “Just… Can we just stay like this a little longer?”

Something in Bob’s chest twisted, almost uncomfortable, almost too close to that other word. But still, he said, “of course, sweetheart. Of course.”

The conversation that followed was soft and quiet, filled with everything and nothing, and Bob’s eyes slowly closed with the sound of your heart and the waves outside lulling him to sleep.

A noise woke Bob up some time later. It could have been a passing car or the waves against the shore, it didn’t matter, really. It was still before dawn, the sky an inky shade of blue. He turned to the side, his back protesting the slightest bit, and saw you beside him. Your mouth was parted with sleep, soft breaths escaping in deep, even intervals.

You were beautiful.

And he had to let you go.

**

You hardly remembered waking up and getting dressed again. But you remembered leaning out of the truck to straighten Bob’s hat atop his head. Last night had been perfect and tinged with some sort of unspoken melancholy. Why had you waited so long? “Can I…can I come with you to the carrier? Wave you off?” It was a selfish ask, but you wanted more time, just a little more to cling to before your heart leapt out from between your ribs to try to follow him out to sea. For one of the few times in your life, you knew it wasn’t better to be safe than sorry. You had to take a chance.

Bob’s unfairly pretty blue eyes nearly sparkled in the low light of dawn as he smiled at you. “Of course, sweetheart.”

The ride out to the carrier was quiet aside from Bob asking if you could drop his truck off with Bradshaw. You readily agreed and hated how your stomach twisted when he parked. The imposing behemoth of a ship loomed on the horizon and you walked beside Bob, his duffel in hand, as you weaved through the early morning crowd. He slowed to a stop a few paces away from the carrier’s ramp and turned back to you.

You watched his jaw flex, tight and wanting, and you wanted to tell him how you felt, how you had felt for months, and you could taste the words on the tip of your tongue but they crumbled to nothing when the carrier blared its horn, calling everyone in and pulling Bob’s attention for a moment.

Tears started to build at the backs of your eyes as the carrier blared its horn for a second time. You had to let him go. You just learned what it was like to have him, and you had to let him go.

Bob turned back to you and you recognized the determined set of his jaw as he reached for you after dropping his bag at his feet. His hands smoothed up your arms and hooked at the back of your neck, thumb pressing an incessant pressure at the hinge of your jaw. You could have melted then, you were puddy in his hold and it almost made it worse. “I shouldn’t ask you this. It’s selfish and cruel-”

“Ask me anyway,” you said, the syllables cracking in your throat.

“Will you be here when I get back? Will you wait for me? I know it is a lot to ask, to take me on and-”

Those damn tears came back and you surged forward to press your lips to his again. The kiss was unhurried and uncoordinated but you couldn’t pull away. Not just yet. Not until your lungs burned and your cheeks felt cold. “I’ve been waiting for you for months. What’s a few weeks more?”

Bob’s smile was small but you knew you’d remember it for the rest of your life. He kissed you, soft and breathless, before scooping up his duffel again and walking backward toward the ramp. He was keeping his eyes on you. And you wouldn’t look away. Not now.

In eight weeks’ time, you’d be back here, ready and waiting. And you knew he’d come home. To you.

A/N: Please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

[janitorhutcherson]

Groceries, Taxes, & Laundry (MSchmidt Fluff)

hey guys, it's me. i'm finally back. did y'all miss me? the writing of this is a lil diff, sooooo please enjoy and lmk what you think!

content: pure fluff yall.

-----------------------------

Grocery shopping with Mike Schmidt is… special, to say the least. He absolutely despises it. The dreaded time comes around at the end of every week, your vegetables in the fridge starting to wilt, the meat from the previous trip used up, and all of your snacks have been devoured from late night munchie runs to the pantry (xoxo i love gardening!!!). He knows it has to happen. He knows you’ll wake him up early on Sunday morning like always, because apparently it’s “better to get it out of the way,” which he thinks is, well, to put it lightly, utter bullcrap.

You’ll drag him and Abby out to your local grocery store, her drowsy and jittery all at the same time with the promise of pancakes from a local diner after. Once you arrive, you’ll pull out all of the far-too-expensive reusable bags out of the trunk of Mike’s dingy car, ready to fill them with the necessities. Why get those for 3 bucks when you can get the plastic ones for free? He’ll never understand your logic, something about saving the environment, but it’s okay, he loves you enough not to complain, at least out loud.

The fluorescent lights of the room filled with half asleep employees hits Mike’s eyes like he’s looking directly into the sun. He lets out a small grumbled sigh as he takes in the scent of sterile cleaning supplies and produce mixed in one, with the strange almost play doh like smell of the bakery. Your eyes cut over to him, eyebrows raised, Abby’s hand in yours as she rubs her droopy eyes. Mike can’t help but to crack a small smirk, his lips pursed together. “What?” he’ll question innocently, letting out a small snicker as you go deeper into the dreary establishment. 

At the produce aisle, Mike shivers a little as the water from the misting sprinkler on the shelves hits his bare skin. He should’ve worn his jacket today, he usually does, and he’s regretting the one time he hasn’t. Your eyes are glancing over carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and squash, all that are somehow both too ripe and too.. What's the word... unripe? Sure, he’ll go with that. His hand reaches out to grip yours in a gentle grasp as Abby points to a particularly fluffy bushel of broccoli. “I want that one! It looks like pretty trees,” she giggles out, finally starting to wake with the day. You let out a giggle of your own and Mike smiles because of how pretty your laugh is.

Next, you’re in the snack aisle, filling the cart with doritos, barbeque chips, pringles, salt and vinegar chips (mike gags when you eat them too close to him), peanut butter filled pretzels, whatever can go in Abby’s lunch box and whatever is tastiest. Mike insists on buying the cheap queso, his nose scrunching up at the price of the name brand one. He knows it doesn’t taste any different.

Now you’re looking at meats, finding chicken breasts and filets, steaks, pork, whatever was on your list from meal prepping. Yes, meal prepping, Mike did that now. Apparently stable people with stable lives who had stable relationships did that. He’d grown fond of sitting over a recipe book with you on Saturday nights, really, shoulder to shoulder, pressed up on the couch well after Abby had gone to bed. Something about it felt safe, a kind of domestic feeling he wasn’t used to.

You’re basically done now, and he couldn’t be more relieved as you make your way towards the dairy section. He grabs a few things, string cheese, yogurt, cream cheese, cheese slices for sandwiches for work. Oh, did he mention he works in construction now? It’s stable, makes good money, and he’s home on time to see you, to be a husband-not-yet-husband (he plans to propose soon, but that’s another story), a brother-more-like-a-father, a person with a regular schedule. He looks over at you, watching as you and Abby skim over the different selections of chocolate and strawberry milk, finally settling on a carton of strawberry. He once again scrunches his nose, smiling all at once. “Nasty,” he mumbles out. Abby playfully hits his arm and you lean in for a kiss.

Finally, thank god, you push the cart towards the bakery section, grabbing bread and a sweet treat or two for the week. Cookies, a birthday cake for no particular reason, cheese danishes, whatever his little family was feeling for the week, that’s what it’d be. This week, it was a huge box of chocolate chip cookies and some kind of cherry pastry he’d never had before. You three finally head to checkout, where everything is stuck in those stupid reusable bags and the price of everything you got feels obscenely huge for what’s in your cart, but he pays it anyway. Walking to the car, in the trunk the groceries go as you all climb in one by one, ready to head for pancakes.

As he reverses the car out of his good (only because it was so goddamn early) parking spot, he can’t help but sigh, this time with contentment as Abby rambles on about a new imaginary (hopefully) friend, your own grin wide as you ask questions, making sure she feels heard. “I love you guys, love doing things with you guys,” Mike mumbles out, reaching his hand over to your thigh as he glances back at Abby too. And it was true, he’d do anything with you two. Hell, if all his life consisted of grocery shopping, taxes, and laundry? Yeah, he’d be ok with that too.

[deadpresidents]

I'm always a fan of Caity Weaver's work, but this piece from the New York Times Magazine (these links are gift links from me past the NYT paywall to access the full article) about how the penny is not only a ridiculous zombie currency, but also a reflection of American dysfunction is one of the best articles I've read in a long time. It's really interesting, especially the parts about production, circulation, and the ultimate paralysis of throwing them in a coin jar for months or years before eventually taking them to a Coinstar machine.

Not only is the penny useless and more expensive to make than it is actually worth, but it's also relatively easy to eliminate. But it's not an imperative and eliminating it also wouldn't necessarily be something that the government or the citizens would actively profit from. And people don't like change -- and I don't mean "change" as in currency, but the act of doing something different or unusual from our accepted routines. So we just ignore them or discard them or hoard them needlessly, and the government keeps making billions of tons (literally) of them because they drop out of circulation. Nobody cares and nobody wants to have to do anything about it because America.

Here's a little excerpt of the piece from the New York Times Magazine, and again, just follow the links for a free gift pass behind the paywall for Caity's full article:

Americans accumulate pennies not because we desire them but because we are entitled to them. If we pay for something in cash with more than exact change, we expect to receive back the difference; if the difference ends in any number other than 0 or 5, we will receive at least one penny. We are entitled to pennies because they exist. But imagine a world where they didn't. Imagine a world where it was Canada. Many Americans will be surprised to learn that Canada eliminated its 1-cent coin more than a decade ago...Canada got rid of its penny in 2013 because it cost 1.6 cents to produce and had, like its American cousin, become essentially worthless. Here is the most important detail to understand: Canada eliminated only its physical coin, not the mathematical concept of 1 cent. Payment by credit card, debit card, mobile phone or check -- any kind of noncash transaction -- is calculated exactly as it was before the penny was abolished. If, after tax, a bill comes to, say, $20.11, a Canadian paying by credit card will be charged $20.11. A Canadian paying by cash can expect to pay $20.10. The final digit of Canadian cash transactions is rounded to the nearest nickel: 1 and 2, nearest to 0 nickels, round down to 0; 3 and 4 round up to a nickel -- 5; 6 and 7, also nearest to one nickel, round down -- 5 again; 8 and 9, nearest to 10 cents, round up. I admit that the thought I might be asked to pay, say $3.80 (cash) for something that, according to the laws of God and man, has been calculated to cost $3.79 (cash) is not only reflexively infuriating to me but a potential source of permanent confusion. The Canadian government mitigated one of those problems (no hope for the other) with an information campaign that included signs with simple charts dividing potential prices into two columns: "Round down" and "Round up." I asked Karl Littler from the Retail Council of Canada if there were still signs at cash registers explaining the rounding. "It's 10 years now, so even the most obtuse people have pretty much figured it out," he said, and laughed.

-- Caity Weaver: "America Must Free Itself from the Tyranny of the Penny", the New York Times Magazine

[thicctails]

i recently saw your GBC AU and I can say that I am now one of the many people who has fallen in love with it. I am also a little more curious about the AU. For example, I noticed how Bill interacts with the Pines and his parents. How did it come to the point that Bill is now just living with the Pines family? Does he even live with them? What was it like for everyone involved?

I feel like Scalene and Euclid would want to reach out to their son but for multiple reasons. For one, maybe convince him to get help (It's a given fact that Bill Cipher needs therapy) or maybe not kill anyone. Depending on how much they investigate the matter based on Bill’s and Ford’s toxic relationship (Speaking of which, how does Ford react when his “Muse” starts living with them?) do they ask themselves what else Bill has done? The yellow Dorito has a LONG criminal history with not many redeeming qualities (other than being a feminist).

Of course, Id also see them wanting to reconnect with their baby boy and apologize for everything they have done to him in the past. But again, trillions of years have passed and their Little Billy ain't so little anymore, and has developed a dark, if not sadistic sense of humor. While his parents may be what breaks the camel back and slightly motivate Bill to change his ways, undoing the unhealthy mindset that is severely rooted into him will take more than a little lullaby to fix.

Every day the Primary Colours trauma triangle cult grows >:)

To answer your question, Bill doesn't end up with the Pines and his parents in their reality until Weirdmaggedon, which is caused by an alternate version of himself tearing open the weakened wall between the Nightmare Realm and Reality. Before then, he mostly uses dreams and very weak vessels to interact with them, such as the various plushes Mabel makes for him.

After Weirdmageddon, Bill is severely weakened and fairly injured (think half-blind and pretty scarred up), but he and his folks can exist in the 3D and 2D planes. (though Bill usually avoids going 2D if he can) After the human Pines parents lose custody (Soos and Melody adopt Dipper and Mabel officially, since Stan is a criminal and Ford... well, Stan used his identity lol) the Ciphers mostly watch over the kids and the Shack while Ford and Stan are out at sea. When the Stan twins are around, Bill usually makes himself scarce.

Dipper and Mabel are probably the ones that are the most comfortable with Bill. They don't have any real traumatic memories with him in this AU, so they're just happy to finally get to meet and hang out with their older brother, strange as he is. Bill encourages them to get into mischief and often pulls pranks, but he never actively puts them in danger. He's actually really possessive/protective over the twins once it sinks in that they aren't just squishy little humans his parents love, they're his baby siblings.

(Ford mentions that Dipper might need to see an optometrist within earshot of Bill and he injures himself summoning fire to guard Dipper from him. Bill has nothing but hellish memories of his experience with an optometrist and will not allow Sixer to take Pinetree to be blinded like he was. It takes a long time to calm him down and convince him that Dipper isn't going to be harmed.)

In the months before Weirdmaggedon, things between Bill and everyone who isn't the twins is... awkward and tense, to say the least. Scalene and Euclid are, obviously, thrilled that their oldest isn't just a long-gone smear of burning flesh and dust, but it's also very mentally taxing and difficult to interact with him. As i said in a previous post, they often accidentally set off the others' triggers, and Bill being, well, Bill, means that they also have to come to terms with the fact that, while they will always love their son, he's not the velcro-shoe wearing, bubbly little stargazer they once knew.

Ford, understandably, does not take Bill popping up in his house very well, and is even more upset by the fact that he's getting near Dipper and Mabel. It's only Stan's insistence that he's actually helped the kids freely before that keeps Ford from forcing everyone into Mandatory Family Thought Encryption. He never forgets what Bill did to him, nor does he ever forgive him, but he doesn't murder him in his sleep when he's vulnerable after making a deal with the Axolotl at the end of Weirdmageddon, so there's that. Plus, it is reassuring to know that the once all-powerful King of the Nightmare Realm folds like wet laundry under the Power of Mabel. The creature that once haunted his nightmares looks a little less scary when a 13 year old girl has painted his nails a glittery pink and made him have a disco tea party with her pet pig.

As for him getting help? Well, that's actually part of the deal he makes with the Axolotl! Weirdmageddon almost kills him (turns out fighting yourself while actually caring about not hurting people leaves you somewhat vulnerable!), but the Axolotl agrees to save him, if he agrees to monthly therapy sessions with him, as well as him and his parents having a regular life span. Total reformation really isn't going to be possible, not for Bill, but when Dipper and Mabel have passed on, he and his folks will go too, and if Bill has made progress towards being a better person, then they'll be reincarnated together.

It's hard and it SUCKS, but its better than Canon Bill is doing lol.

[whumpshaped]

i know. i understand. if people liked the trope or wanted to write about periods and cramps at all, i'd see it cross my dash at least sometimes.

BUT LISTEN. EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS TO ME I CANT HELP BUT THINK ABOUT HOW ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP AND HORRID IT IS. if i was a whumpee i'd be so fed up.

i mean, the bleeding in and of itself is fucked. now whumpee has to find something to stop that from inconveniencing them too much. if they're alone, i guess they're just fucked. if they're captive, have fun telling the captor! hopefully they want whumpee and the surrounding area clean more than they want to avoid the pink tax.

the obvious: the fucking cramps. once again, i'm sure they'll have fun asking for painkillers from someone who gave them none for a broken leg. the random aches all over their body! the moodswings! getting into 10 fights a day, none of which they can actually finish because they're wriggling on the ground like a worm! the cravings! i'm sure it's very fun surviving on 2 bowls of oatmeal when they want to demolish a whole dessert shop AND a bakery!

for 7 damn days every month. whumpee is honestly glad when the malnourishment and the stress finally makes it just... stop.

[mittensmorgul]

Hi everyone! I just need like two minutes of your time.

Have you enjoyed all the scripts that the @spnscripthunt has posted over the last few years? Have you screenshotted them and written meta and made gif sets or just cried over your favorite scenes again? Have you supported the group in any way?

Would you like to OWN one of those scripts, autographed by the stars of Supernatural?

Maybe you miss participating in GISH, doing some wacky fun good in the world and the style of fundraising we learned there-- that many people making small contributions can come together to change lives.

Well, we are down to our last little stack of scripts now, with no new scripts coming on the horizon. This project has been thrilling, and we're trying to send it all off with a bang. We're giving away the final portion of the collection, all signed by the cast and crew, and hopefully doing a little good in a very big way.

We picked RIPMedicalDebt as our final charity, because of the exponential power of increasing how far our donations will go. $10 donated pays of $1,000 of medical debt, free and clear with no tax burden to the recipients! With a small donation, you could literally change someone's life.

We get that folks outside the US might not understand how completely messed up the US healthcare system is, so for some perspective, 65% of people who file for bankruptcy in this country do so directly because of crushing medical debt. We know personally how horrifying the medical insurance system is in this country. One illness, one accident, can be financially devastating. But we can save a few people from having it completely destroy their lives.

We got the idea from John Oliver. This entire episode is eye-opening about debt in the US in general, but the part we're specifically interested it begins around 17 minutes in.

We're already a quarter of the way to our goal! Thank you to everyone who's already donated! What we need now is to spread the word!

If you've spent any time at all enjoying the work we've done, the scripts we've collected and shared with fandom, we're hoping you'll consider sharing our posts widely with anyone who might be interested. Our contact network has been demolished as twitter collapses (and historically the vast majority of our contributors have come from twitter), and we're practically begging just for a signal boost.

All the details on how to donate, and then enter the raffle can be found right here:

You can also see all the prizes we'll be making available, too! And if for some reason you're not interested in a prize and just would like to support the campaign, that's fine too, of course!

(but the prizes are super cool... at least we think so...)

You only have until November 5, 2023 to enter the raffle, and our final group of prizes will unlock when we hit $5000 donated (which could pay off half a million dollars in medical debt!)

Please help us spread the word, and good luck!

[lilimalia]

1 જ⁀➴ holy shit, mommy??

TEVYAT NEWS… it's finally here!! Enjoy! And for any highlighted names in taglist, your tag was unable to be added. Please resubmit it!

WARNINGS... ooc albedo (?), cursing

SUMMARY… Young, dumb, and broke, Y/n L/n has scaled the makeup community from half-assed make up tutorials and explorations… Somehow, she's landed herself a position of popularity, and has yet to understand how to continue building fame. When a famous actor, Ayato Kamisato, is in need of a last-minute makeup artist, and is forced to call her up…

TAG LIST… @yelshin , @patchi-chi , @ittosoneandoniwife , @nightrayseishina , @hiqhkey , @haliyamori , @luminarymoonlight , @loudeggbananaranch , @naraven , @dazaisboner , , @zomzombie, @duskimooo , @aezuyu , @vennnnn-diagram

Sighing restlessly, you fall backwards on your couch (sofa), your unkempt hair splaying out in all directions, static prickling at the edge of your [h/c] strands.

"Holy. Fuck."

You whisper, hands reaching to your face before angrily rubbing against it. screaming bloody murder.

"I've done it. I've actually done it!" you mutter under your breath, grasping the situation at hand.

The idea of being in collaboration with your favorite company after so many years of building your brand against all odds, and the countless nights spent painstakingly editing your videos, you had finally made it to the top. Well, your top at least.

Three rapid knocks resound against your door before you're able to truly soak up your epiphany. Much to your heart's dismay.

"[Name] I'd appreciate it if you would open this door urgently, I can't be bothered to stand out here in the hall. These paintings are taxing to carry you know", Albedo's familiar voice rings out, a slight playful annoyance as he bangs the darkened wood of your door once more in urgency.

In a hurry, your pouncing over the piles of pillows left on your floor from previous filming and frantically scrambling towards the door before your dear friend reconsidered his decision to visit you. In a flash as your hand glazes over the cool knob and the door creaks with an eery sigh as your met with the clearly unamused face of the renowned artist that was your bestfriend, Albedo. Golden hair and in his prime glory as he quickly lifted the heavy artistry into your unexpecting arms. The weight toppled over you surprisingly, causing a slight step back from you.

"Now that I've handed over my part of this little escapade, explain now. What do you mean Ei of EiKerei is hosting you in a collab?" His eyebrows twitched up in curiosity, curtly allowing himself into the domain of your apartment without another word.

"H-hey! Dude I haven't even put down the paintings let me clean up Bedo!!"

In return, he glares at you,

"[Name] I've seen your apartment throughout all of its states, this is nothing compared to what it can be."

Pure aggression flashes across your face.

"So... You mean to say the EiKerei brand is branching out to minor creators and your a fortunate victim?"

"Yes and omg, I think I'm ready to die happy."

"No way moron we've still got to actually post something and hold our end of the bargain [Name]",

Albedo groans, glaring at you as you struggle to lay the paintings he had so graciously brought over, against the silver nails newly embedded into your wall. Stretching on his calves, both you and him stretch higher up, cautiously looking underneath in the space between the wall and the painting. Before finally laying the prized art against the wall in all its glory.

Low and behold, just before you could breath a sigh of relief, the tip of your sock slides off the coach's back frame before betraying you into falling down to your ass.

"What in the world- OW-" grumbling, rubbing the sore in the back of your head as you glance back to see what you hit.

"What kind of crazy was that? Did you fall over your own feet? Are you alright?" Bedo questions, jumping down more gracefully then your landing in concern. Reaching to balance the back of your head with a pillow.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, dude I'm just a little light footed I guess... Did anything break? I think I hit the side table-"

Frantically checking your table's wares for damage, your fingers end up glazing over a singular knocked down frame.

Lifting it up, your breath lets out in a shaky, uneven quake, just a photo of highschool...

"Are you alright? The frame isn't broken right? I'd hope not, we might need to check for glass and-"

"No Bedo, it's uh, fine... That was me sighing over the photo not the frame. Everything's fine", you cut him off, focusing your sights on the photo in your lap, fingers grazing over its dusty glass. A thin layer of dust gathering on your fingers like a blanket as you hand him the frame.

"Huh... Isn't this your highschool photo? Looks like you forgot about it for a while..." Albedo perks up, raising one eyebrows as he blows over the dust and watches your expression sour.

"Wait a minute..."

"Correct me if I'm wrong... But isn't this the Ayato Kamisato from that new popular movie on Flix?"

"I wish it fucking wasn't."

@lilimalia do not copy, repost (on other platforms), or plagiarize ANY of my content

series list // NEXT

series taglist

[smallestapplin]

Omg, I’m so excited! I’m legit about to explode with excitement!

How do you feel on Sebastian, Sam, and Abigail from stardew (separate) x Omega! reader. Basically the reader is just bugging out from heat and their partner is there to cuddle and comfort them. Just a whole gallon of warm fluff

Remember to pace yourself, You’re awesome and you can do this!

YES YES YES! Finally, some good fucking food I'm feral for this. Pure fluff shit my beloved.

-

-

-

Sebastian

- he has a lot of good nesting items for you, all of which are drowned in his scent, which is perfect for you to build up the edges around the bed and cocoon yourself in.

- He knows heats are very taxing on omegas, which is why he keeps a mini fridge in your shared bedroom stock full of different types of drinks, some cold snacks, and keeps a few nutrition bars on top of it.

- But of course that's never enough. Your body is sensitive to the point of pain, yet all you want is him nearby. His heart aches when you look at him with such teary eyes.

- Gives you his hoodie and watches you snuggle deeply into it, chuckling at how cute you are. It at least keeps you settle while he drives to ZuZu city to get your favorite take out, his sweetheart needs to eat.

You miss your mate, he's been gone for so long you fear you might be dying. Whining, you nuzzle into his hoodie trying to find a comfortable position to ease your pain.

Maybe fifteen minutes later you hear the engine of a motorcycle coming to a stop, then the sound of the front door opening and closed, and footsteps coming up the stairs, to finally the bedroom door slowly creeping open.

"Babe, you awake?"

Sebastian spoke softly, not wanting to actually wake you, he knows how hard it can be to sleep during your heat. A smile spread across his face when you barely poke your head out from your nest, eyes squinted harshly from the light coming from the hallway.

"Oh good. I got your favorite." He closes the door and sets the drinks and food on his desk, rooting through the fast food bag to hand you your meal.

It's adorable how you slowly begin to sit up, clearly starving. Once you had your food, you begin to devour, humming happily.

"This is so good! I have the best mate."

Sebastian feels his cheeks grow pink, he will never get use to you calling him that, he knows you two have been mated for a little over a year now but his heart still flutters at it.

Abigail

- Abigail is a bit of a wild card when it comes to dealing with you and your heats, but for the most part she will stay by your side. She closes all the curtains, making the room nice and dark for you, with the only light source being the tv playing an old cartoon for background noise.

- She's all curled around you, letting you snuggle into her chest and just holds you tightly.

- You are your most sensitive right now, she understands how your emotions are all over the place and you need to feel safe now more than ever. Which is why she locks the bedroom door and windows after blocking out the light, ensuring that anyone would have to get passed those and then her to get to you.

- Abigail mostly lazes next to you, shushing you and whispering how muc she loves you into your ear.

- She only ever gets up to use the bathroom or to bring you snacks and drinks.

"Shhh, shh, it's alright pumpkin, I got you."

Abigail coos softly at you, nuzzling her face on the top of your head. You're shaking, your body feels too overwhelmed, like everything is just too much, the only thing calming you down is your mate.

"That's it, sweetheart, focus on me. That's my sweet thing. I love you." She places a gentle kiss to your forehead, careful to avoid putting too much pressure.

You whimper, burying your face into her chest as you try to regulate yourself. Your heat is just taking everything out of you, even after being sated you can't stop the draining feeling, or how your body feels so hot and so cold at once.

But Abigail is there for you, and she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

She will lay there with you, no matter how many times you toss the comforter off you then beg for it back, she will mark sure you get whatever you need to feel comfortable again, until you can fall asleep.

-

-

Sam

- P A N I C.

- He is freaking out and barely has any idea what to do! He wants to help you but all he knows are the basics, no one told him this was apart of heats! He feels patheic and useless watching you writher in pain, curling into yourself as the pain grows.

- Alpha Sam to the rescue!

- Sam did several searches and asked Harvey (who nearly fainted but answered honestly) and is barging into your shared bedroom with his arms full of things. He's rambling about everything he got you, all the new nesting items he got for you (and heavily scented) the weighted blanket, the weighted plushie that he excitedly holds up.

- He doesn't stop until you groan, you love his voice but it's too m uch all at once. It shuts him up quickly, and he's fast to work, softly asking if he's allowed in your nest (as if he wasn't a few hours ago.)

- He slides in, placing items around you, before laying you on top of him, and placing the weighted blanket on top of you for extra comfort while you curl up on his chest.

"I'm sorry, firefly, I know....I know but I got you."

You don't know if he's trying to comfort you or himself, but you love it all the same. His voice now nice and low, instead of loud and frantic as it was earlier. Sam wraps his arms around you, gently rubbing your shoulders, while the weighted blanket is settled across your lower back.

Your nest is filled with a mix of his and your scent, though yours is fighting to show through after Sam scented so many items for you, knowing his scent brings a source of comfort to you.

You don't mind, you enjoy the warm feeling of being surrounded adn protected by your lover.

"You're so cute like this." His voice almost a whine, just loving how cozy and comfy you look on him!

His mate is so precious he wants to cry!

"Sammy please...." you mutter, nuzzling further into his chest.

The blonde chuckles bashfully "Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to was ya from dozing."

Can you blame him? So cute.

[raes-writing-space]

Dick Grayson X Hero!Reader *Comfort*

Warnings: Mentions of body aches and fighting, but no actual action scenes written. Kind of written in a way that might make it seem like reader has PTSD. Not beta read.

Summary: Sometimes being a hero is taxing, and when your body is trained to handle blow after blow… sometimes a hug is enough to make you release a lot of feelings you didn't know you were even holding in. Dick Grayson notices your change in demeanor, and just does a simple act of giving you a long hug and telling you it's going to be okay.

Word Count: 672

A/N: This is part of my comfort characters with comfort prompts, I'm actually doing these characters based on who was my first comfort character to my most recent comfort character. So to kick things off, Dick Grayson! He was one of my first ever comfort characters, since I was about ten..!

Your body ached as you finally were able to take a seat. You and Nightwing had made it to the closest safe house, as you had taken on more injuries than you realized. Adrenaline had really come in handy sometimes, but not when it wore off, and hit you all at once. Typically you could take more than just a hit, after all, that's what you were trained for. But tonight felt different, tonight it was more than just a simple mission. Tonight was a reminder that you're alive, and how that could easily change in an instant. Memories of your life until that moment had started to run rampant through your mind, you tried so hard to push them away, but it only started to cause a headache. Or maybe you had gotten hit in the face a little harder than you thought. Dick had noticed how you seemed to zone out while you sat, your body was here, but the rest of you felt entirely somewhere else. He grabbed the medical kit that was previously using on himself, before crouching down next to you. You didn't even seem to notice how close he had gotten until he put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"(Y/N), what's wrong?" He seemed to ask you, thinking this had to be far more than just physical pain at this point.

"I don't know…" You answered him honestly, trying to tune back into the reality you were in, but everything just started to feel like too much.

Your body started shaking, as you tried to find a better answer to give him, but truly you didn't understand what was going on with you. At this point, you couldn't even tell what was real, everything just started to blur. You wanted to reach out to Dick for him to help somehow, but as you reached towards him, you pulled your hand back. You just wanted to feel something real, but you didn't even know how to ask for it, or if you even deserved it. Dick noticed the action immediately, and how your eyes seemed to ask for help in a way that your words couldn't. All he could think to do was wrap his arms around you and pull you into his chest. It took you a moment to realize what was happening, but the feeling of his arms around you with just enough pressure on your body seemed to ground you back in the moment. You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding, as you soon wrapped your arms around him in return. You couldn't help but hold onto him as if your life depended on it. When was the last time you got a hug from someone? When was the last time your body was used for more than just violence and pain? When was the last time you just simply wanted to use it for an act of kindness or love? You found yourself crying without even meaning to. Dick pulled you back with him to sit more comfortably together, expecting to be there for awhile. You followed him with ease, as you kept your arms wrapped around him. He knew this life wasn't always easy, and sometimes all he wanted was just a little moment like this himself.

"It's going to be okay… Even if it might not feel like it right now, one day it'll be okay…" Dick spoke, not exactly sure what you must be thinking of at the moment, but hoping his words could help in some way at least.

When you were ready, maybe you could try and explain to him what happened and he could patch you up. But until then, he could only hope that a hug will do. He began to rub your back gently, making sure to keep enough pressure to feel as if he was suffocating you somehow. But it was enough to make sure you knew he was there, and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

[blush-blush-imagines]

Reference from Brooklyn 99, how would some of the boys react if we just said "If I run and leap at (Name), he will most certainly catch me in his arms" and then proceeded to run full force at them while they're carrying stuff. (You can just ignore this if you don't understand this or don't want to do this.)

I was given 'some' and immediately ignored my own rules and did 'all', that's fun.

Still, finally cracking down and writing all *checks notes* 2 requests I've gotten.

(Please feel free to send in requests, I'd love to have more to work with)

Nimh

Oh it is such a rough thing for poor Nimh.

Problem A), the call alone is a little jump scare to him, and now his heart is freaking out

Problem B), he’s now faced with the dilemma of either dropping everything, or letting you eat shit on the pavement. He’d like neither to happen, but he’s not dumb enough to think he could do both

He eventually commits to catching you, but that just leads to

Problem C), he is not very strong and he can barely hold you

Give him the courtesy of keeping a foot on the ground to balance out your weight, yeah?

Volks

You joke about it sometimes before you ever commit to the bit

And every single time you do he insists to you that he will make zero effort to catch you

But you know Volks very well at this point.

And you know, among other things, that he is a dirty fucking liar

So you can only imagine your personal childlike glee when you finally do it and he does, in fact, catch you without hesitation 

He insists it’s because if you fell and like, broke your elbow or something, that’d be terrible. Medical bills and all that.

For his sake, you’re ignoring that his face is growing redder by the second. 

Kelby

No hesitation 100% of the time

First of all, holding you is extremely easy for him, but also he just finds carrying you to be romantic as hell

Oh he’ll cringe if he happens to be dropping something heavy, like a weight, but he still goes for you, that’s his priority

Still, he likes looking for opportunities to show off, and carrying you around like it’s nothing is prime show off material.

He might even get in a couple squats. He knows they go appreciated.

Eli

It’s a coin flip with Eli

Though if there’s a chance you’d genuinely injure yourself he’ll probably catch you

But it’s fair game to just let you crash if it’s carpet or grass. Because he thinks it’s just a little funny. 

He also occasionally makes you pay the ‘catch tax’ 

It’s 5 dollars to at least partially make up for the drink that just died on the ground for your goofs.

Anon

Really, shame on you, you should know better.

He makes no attempt to catch you

In fact, he finds the way you end up crashing into the wall kinda funny. 

Like watching a cat really fuck up a jump.

Beyond the fact that he’s kind of a stickler with his physical contact to begin with, a lot of the things he carries around are very easily breakable

So yes it’s rude, but frankly he’s not about to shell out 1000 dollars for a new laptop because you thought you could make a goofy point- because you couldn’t.

Garret 

Garret doesn’t even miss a beat

He’s got you held up in one arm and whatever it was he was holding cradled in the other

While he thinks that it was certainly an odd thing to do, it was pretty cute.

Not hard to do. He thinks most things you do are cute.

Gives you a little kiss and gently sets you back down

Don’t get overconfident though. If he’s holding an animal, the animal gets priority. They’re more fragile.

He still feels really bad about it though. You think he might cry

Dmitri 

Dmitri also goes for the catch every time

It adds to his suave and romantic charm, obviously.

However, as the type to prioritize romance over basic logic on occasion, he’s also prone to forgetting that he’s often holding his drink of choice

No it’s fine that his foot just got doused in hot coffee, no he’s not getting a third degree burn

Appreciate the romance, he’ll go see someone about it later

Ichiban

Like Anon, Ichiban hesitates, because if he’s holding something, it’s likely expensive. 

However, unlike Anon, he makes the fatal mistake of still trying to catch you

And it worked maybe once. He’s still riding that high though.

He can handle it!

…But also this case of shenanigans that he has never told you to stop doing has cost more in equipment that either of you are ready to admit out loud.

You may or may not have pitched in to replace several cameras, controllers, and lavaliers 

William

He tries very very hard to get you to stop charging him before contact is made

It’s a flurry of paperwork, because he does catch you

Says it’s the least he could do as the doting boyfriend he is

Though he does awkwardly dismiss himself from in after a moment. 

While carrying you around is quite romantic, he won’t disagree with that, but also those papers were kind of important and he should get those together ASAP. 

People have pets in need, and they can’t get it without the information getting where it needs to be.

He promises to give you a good cuddle once it’s all sorted, however.

Myx 

There’s a very direct correlation between what exactly he’s holding and how okay he is with dropping it to scoop you

Electronics? Hard no, those are pricey to replace

Instruments are also frequent victims, and it depends on its fragility.

He tried to catch you with his leg once, except all he actually did was end up kicking you in the gut on the way down

He apologized about it for fifteen minutes straight. 

But if it’s something sturdy, he has no problem with chucking it straight down and scooping you up into a whole ass cuddle. 

Stirling

Oh please don’t do that outside 

He’s fine with it inside and at night. It’s very attractive, even. Smooth and charming as he sweeps you off your feet before you can even make the jump.

But in the middle of the day it’s very bad for both of you

He can’t hold his parasol and you at the same time, it’s not happening 

So get ready to either hit the deck or get caught on fire with him, depending on how much time he gets to think about it

Scale

He screams at first

There’s a loud clatter of knives, but he’s got you!

Scale insists very hard that he did not shriek like a little baby at you almost impaling yourself on his knives

Instead he scolds you over it

I mean come on, you spent an entire afternoon to keep his assassination deadline on you years away

What’s the good in wasting that, he could’ve done better things with his afternoon if you were gonna die a couple months later anyway

Sven

Puts no thought into whatever he’s holding, he just tries to hold you on top of it

It’s very uncomfortable every time, why do you keep doing that

It also doesn’t register to him that it’s his need to multitask it that results in you injuring yourself

He starts doing it to you to prove a point, and thinks he’s doing it better because he doesn’t get hurt

He has not realized it’s because you actually drop everything to catch him

But it’s still fun, and you kinda don’t want to ruin it for him.

Cole 

He doesn’t even flinch

It’s like he anticipated you’d do this exact thing

And unlike some of the other boys he doesn’t even think when he drops whatever he’s holding. 

Unless it’s something on the more… incriminating side. At that point he dodges you, dodges any questions, and quickly dismisses himself from the conversation entirely.

Sure it’s entirely possible there’s a shattered plate of hot food at his feet now, but that doesn’t matter because you’re here, being contently held in his arms

He uses it as an excuse to keep holding you

Poe

It what fucking world do you think he could hold you?

He drops his coffee and his school papers

Luckily they don’t damage each other, but w o w that was a close call

But beyond losing his morning caffeine and having to gather his work back up, you’ve hurt his wrists and also your entire body

No one has won here.

He also just. Literally can’t hold you. He’s a tiny frail goth boy, he crumbles if he’s holding anything heavier than 20 pounds. 

Once you’re back on your feet, he asks if you could at the very least help him gather up his papers. They’re worth like 20% of his grade. 

Cashew

Already a bit on the twitchy side, when he notices you speeding like a bullet train, he squeaks.

What exactly do you think you’re doing??? He’s been relocating his books all afternoon, you can see that he’s holding like, 8.

But, visibly cringing, they hit the floor, because he knows that he can’t hold them and you at the same time

One of them falls wide open, pages down. He tries not to think of the potential folded pages and boxed corners. 

Especially because of how pleased you look!

…But the second he can set you down he’s on the ground checking for damages.

Seth

Seth is the absolute king of the ‘casually carrying around hazardous objects’ club

But unlike everyone else in said club, he has no qualms about chucking whatever it is on the ground and scooping you up. 

This has resulted almost unanimously in making more hazards and chaos, but he hasn’t fussed about it once

He gets to give you a lil snuggle and it has the potential to cause crime. It’s a win-win for him!

You are an accessory to arson now though, so watch out, yeah?

Logan

Man goes into bullet time

It’s just a race to him to see if he can free an arm before you inevitably ‘plink’ off him and crash into the floor

Like. He does it, no real problems

But he immediately sets you down and scolds you for it

Because that was dangerous! What if he got hurt? What if you got hurt? What if he was holding something breakable, or bringing his fire axe somewhere?

All of those sound awful! 

Still, he ruffles your hair and plants a little kiss on the top of your head. He isn’t mad, he just wants to make sure you’re being safe.

[lokisprettygirl]

Close Ties (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Modern AU) (Non canon) (18+)

Read Chapter 15 // Series Masterlist

Chapter 16

Summary : You realise that Daemon is the end for you.

Warning: 18+ dad's best friend trope, canon (we don't know her..don't like don't read), feeling of hopelessness, uncle Daemon kink (you don't have to squint), familial uncle niece sort of relationship but he's not really her uncle, there will be more smut later, masturbation, significant age gap but reader is in her mid twenties, mention of infidelity, miscarriage , divorce, smoking and alcohol drinking, physical violence implied

“So a CEO huh? Your job gotta be taxing” You turned to face Aaron, a childhood friend of Rhae whom you had just met at her birthday get-together at her parent's house. He seemed like quite the character, charming and confident, with a devil-may-care attitude that was difficult to resist, well at least for other people.

“Yeah it's very taxing” you mumbled as you sipped on your drink, you wanted to focus on his words, he was very handsome and he seemed nice but you weren't able to focus on him when your eyes kept drifting towards the sexiest man in the room.

As you looked at him he immediately looked away as if he wasn't keeping an eye on you too.

Being able to finally look at Daemon without worrying about anyone judging you was an indescribable feeling. You couldn't help but feel a sense of freedom as you gawked at him, admiring his handsome features and strong figure without the judgment of your parents. He had a black jacket on with a matching pair of pants and a silk shirt underneath. You were accidentally twinning with him with a black sling dress you had on, the straps were made of golden chains, you didn't want to look vulgar but you wanted to appear sexy for him, show him what he was missing..

Daemon shifted his attention back at Harwin as you caught him checking you out. Again.

He was also a bit jealous regarding the conversation you were having with the young man you had met just now. He was always jealous of every other man that threatened to take you away from him, sure you didn't belong to him like that but in the past few days things had been different.

Both of you were staying true to the promise you had given to your father but there was a change in your relationship with him, there was a lot of flirting outside the work and you always came to share your troubles with him like you used to before.

“How's it going on that front?” Harwin asked him very casually and Daemon's cheeks flushed. Damn Rhaenyra

“I'm bloody embarrassed you know about that” he chuckled to hide his embarrassment but it was a lost cause, he was certainly red as a beetroot.

“Yeah well..women talk..Nothing to be embarrassed about..i understand that feeling more than anyone” he winked at Daemon to ease his nerves.

Since Daemon had discovered Harwin and Rhaenyra's relationship he had been trying to get acquainted with the man his darling niece had chosen for herself but every meeting was turning into a friendship and it wasn't in Daemon's nature anymore to make new friends, he was just done with being the one to give his all and then get hurt in response. Most of the men he befriended in the states eventually slept with his wife so he had to cut them off, he cut off everyone when it was her that he should have gotten rid of a long time ago.

Whatever friends he had from school and university apart from your father all drifted apart when he left London so it was nice to have someone he could go get a drink with.

He wanted to get a refill so he excused himself and went to the bar and you were already there before him so he gave you a smile as he got behind the bar to make drinks for you two.

You were mindlessly fiddling the straw between your plump lips or perhaps you were doing it on purpose, he couldn't really tell. He didn't know whether to be frustrated by the fact that you were so unaware of your own charms, or to be drawn in by the mysterious allure that hung around you like a cloud.

“Soo got yourself a date aye?” he looked at Aaron so you turned your head to pretend to check him out and then you chuckled.

“Still on first name basis uncle”

The way the familial name rolled off your lips was intended to tease him and he was a bit buzzed himself so he didn't want to stop you either.

“Well mister first name basis can't keep his eyes off you”

“Mmmm do you blame him?”

The boldness you felt in the moment was surprising even to you.

“Absolutely not..I'd go after the prettiest girl in the room as well if I was a man his age” he mumbled as he passed you the drink,

“Too bad I'm not into men my age uncle”

You put your straw in the new glass and slurped on it, looking right into his eyes,

“Mmhm? Since when sweetheart?”

“Since I was twelve”

He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

His eyes glanced over the necklace on your neck that you were so proudly showing off, the one he had presented you on your birthday, the typical smile curved his features as he brought his hand up and grabbed the pendant between his forefingers for a brief moment but he he let it go quickly before he'd be eyed suspiciously by others.

You got up from the stool with your drink in your hand and then sauntered away from him to make him sweat a little. There was that fear of disappointing your father that continued to bother you but the more you got drunk the more your inhibitions were loosened.

He kept staring at you in a way that left you feeling hot and bothered. So very hot and so very bothered, all you could think about was his thick hard cock pumping in and out of you while he'd call you his good girl and tell you that he loved you.

Later at night since both of you were drunk, Rhaneyra wanted you to stay and she convinced Daemon to stay at her parents' house as well. Not that you were opposed to that. While she was on a call with Harwin you made your way to Daemon's room and knocked.

When he opened the door he was still in the same shirt as before but those top buttons had been flung open. He smiled as he looked at you, his brother's house wasn't as magnificent as your dad's so the chances of him getting caught in the same room as his supposed niece were very high.

You walked past him and entered the room so he shook his head in disbelief and closed the door.

“Pixie, what are you doing?” He asked you softly as he didn't want to come across as rude or harsh, you had enough of that already.

“Nothing just trying to spend some time with you”

He sighed as you said that.

“Both of us are drunk and tend to not make the best of decisions when we are inebriated”

“That's not true” you argued back but as he stepped closer to you, his words started to make more sense to you. There's no way you'd be able to restrain yourself from jumping into his arms if he would continue to look at you like that.

“I Miss you” you mumbled as you looked him right in the eye so he gave you his typical smirk laced smile

“I'm right here darling”

His response made you huff like a petulant child.

“I can see that.. sometimes you can just tell me that you miss me too” you crossed your arms so he tilted his head.

“And What good would that do to us? You left us, remember?”

“And what was I supposed to do Daemon?” as you raised your voice he knew he'd have to calm down to not exacerbate the situation so he stepped closer to you until you were in his arms.

“I don't want to fight with you sweetheart” he held you by the shoulders and kissed your forehead as he said that.

“No tell me what I should have done..what would you have done if you were in my place and your dying father had asked you for one thing that would really make him happy” he chuckled as you questioned him. Moments like this made you want to slap him but kiss him at the same time.

“Really ? You really think your broken heart would bring him peace and happiness in the afterlife?”

“Then why did he ask for it?”

“Because he can't accept the fact that you're in love with a man twice your age, a man he has known half his life”

“None of those things are true..I'm not in love with you and you're not twice my age”

As you walked past him he grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him.

“I do miss you ..all the fucking time alright..I have had a easier time letting go of my wife then letting go of what we had with each other so yes I do miss you.. and I think about pounding you into that mattress right there when I'm touching myself at nights, I think about you every waking moment of my life even when you're in front of me but you chose to give up on us and that's the truth so don't expect me to tell you that I miss you when I know that it's only going to bring us both misery”

His nose flared and teeth gritted as he spoke, words held a spark of anger. And his confession regarding him wanting to pound you was going to keep you up at night as well now.

“And you allowed me to do this..so what is it..you pretend to be nice and gentle to me even though deep down my decision has got you pissed?”

“I don't have to fucking pretend to be gentle with you” He sighed as he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead again “I'm not holding anything against you so you shouldn't do that to yourself either. You want to make your father happy? It's fine by me..that's what you should do for the man who had given you everything in life”

You got out of his embrace as he said that and he thought you'd leave his room but you decided to surprise him instead. He watched you take your heels off and then jump into his bed with no qualms. To your surprise he didn't say anything either but laid down next to you albeit maintaining a proper distance between your bodies.

“This is not such a good idea now is it?” A chuckle escaped his throat as he finished his sentence.

“It's nothing bad..just two people sleeping on a bed two feet apart”

He turned his body to prop himself on his elbow so he had a clear view of you,

“I can't get enough of you darling, you need to remember that”

“That's because you don't get enough of me..once you will ..if you will..you will see I'm nothing special”

“I can say the same thing about you” he argued knowing far too well that it was pointless. You always had an answer even though sometimes they didn't make any sense.

“You can't..you haven't longed for me for 14 years”

Well that made sense to him.

“Is that going to be your winning point every fucking time?”

“Yup..I earned that”

You turned your head to look at him, his eyes were fixed on yours and his gaze was intense, all you wanted to do was break any or all promises you had made to your father and just give into him but then you saw your father's face every time you closed your eyes.

“Ummm is Stella still trying to win you back?” You questioned him to change the subject.

“Yeah”

“So she didn't leave?”

“No”

“Are your answers going to be one word strictly “

“Mmmmhmmm”

You smiled as his nonchalant behavior regarding her made you a bit relaxed and you could have basked in that feeling but you had the tendency to self sabotage.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You don't have to ask me to ask me”

“Do you miss her..being with her?”

“Sometimes..in a strange moment of weakness..I do..it was a long relationship”

You were glad he was being honest with you but that didn't mean the answer wasn't pricking your heart..

“If she promises to never cheat on you again and stick with it .. would you go back to her?” he let out a deep sigh at the question and he took a few moments to come up with an answer.

“I don't really know..I wish I did but I don't, I loved her for ages..it was hard to let go of everything we had built together. When my mum died she was there for me and she stuck by me when I wasn't doing so well in life. I know you don't like her and I don't have more love in me to give her and she's not a very good person perhaps but she's not the worst either.. sometimes people hurt you regardless of what you do for them”

Your eyes were teary by the time he was done with his sentence, the way he talked about her made you feel as if he still had some feelings for her which you didn't blame him for.

“I'm sorry she didn't appreciate you the way you deserved to be appreciated”

“No regrets sweetheart”

“mmm i should go to my room” you sat up to get off the bed but he quickly grabbed your arm gently,

“Stay…talk”

You looked at him as he said that and as tears rolled down your cheeks he wiped them away with his fingers

“I'm sorry..I am just jealous”

“Understandable..I was jealous watching you talk to that nerd”

“He's most definitely not a nerd..he's the type of guy mums warn their daughters about” he chuckled as you said that,

“I used to be the guy”

“You're still the guy”

You laid back down again as he guided you towards the mattress slowly. You wanted to go all Meredith Grey on him and ask him to pick you, choose you and love you if worst comes to worst but deep down you knew that won't be the most mature thing you'd ever do in life.

“And what about Anna? The woman from sales..you guys have been chit chatting a lot lately .. something I noticed”

“Are you keeping an eye on me?”

“No ..just observant..it's good to observe..a nice man once told me that” he smiled as you said that.

“She's nice I suppose”

“Hmmm nice as in oh she's sweet or oh she's so nice I want to kiss her” the high pitched voice made him smile, he didn't want to make you feel jealous but it felt nice to see you react so dramatically.

“Do you not want me to date anyone anymore?”

“That's not umm..my question”

He smirked as you said that, his hand sneaked under your head and you felt shivers run down your spine at the intrusion, he then pulled you closer to him until you were snuggled into his arms, after a second of uncertainty you quickly wrapped your arm around his waist, fingers played circles on his lower back.

He pushed your hair aside from your neck and his lips went straight to your neck as he pressed a soft kiss on your skin, you couldn't help but hum in response which came out as a moan instead.

“This is not a good idea” he groaned as he pulled away from you and put his head down on his pillow to gain a sense of control again, being drunk wasn't helping his case at the moment.

“I know” you mumbled as you got on top of him, straddling him before he could say anything else, he licked his lower lip as your bare skin was glowing in the dim light of the room. “Pound me into the mattress like you have imagined..uncle daemon” his fingers clutched around your waist as your sensuous voice reached his ears, those flimsy straps were falling apart and he had the urge to just slip your dress down your shoulders and have his way with you. He knew you'd not resist him either. Despite feeling that way he knew what should have been the right thing to do in this situation.

“Don't do anything you're going to regret tomorrow” you sighed as he said that.

“Why do you have to be so nice about this? I'm throwing myself at you and you can just do me right now..I won't hold it against you even if I do regret it”

“That's so romantic isn't it? Fucking for the first time while we are both drunk and breaking the promises we have made to your father”

“Why do you care..he fucked your wife when he was drunk and didn't think much about it”

His jaw clenched as you reminded him that, not that it was something he'd ever forget.

“I care because I love you ..only you and you..just you.. and I'm not going to ruin you for a night of fun”

Your eyes teared up at the sincerity in his voice, that's why you loved him so much, he was perfect in his ways, he always knew better, he always knew how to put you in your place without degrading you or putting you down the way your parents had been doing since all hell broke loose. He just knew you and he never wanted to hurt you, where would you find a man like him again? He'd find someone to replace you in his life, it wasn't that hard for a man like him to find a girl your age or even older who'd be willing to be his girlfriend, his wife and eventually the mother of his children but where would you find a man who'd see you as you and not as the woman who took after his dad's business and was now suddenly filthy rich.

Who'd see you as the girl you actually were?

As he noticed your teary eyes he sat up and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into a hug, you needed that he could tell and he needed that too.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you held onto him, he was so warm and he felt so comfortable, you could have spent your whole life just being there with him, only if it wasn't for your dying father who wanted to make you miserable.

As you pulled away from the hug you cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eye for a moment before you went in for a kiss, he so badly wanted to pull away but he couldn't, not when you kissed him with such ferocity, not when he had been starving for that kiss as well.

Lips moved in unison before you slipped your tongue in, it's been months and it has been a torture having him so close and yet so far from you.

Once you pulled away he placed his forehead down on yours, your chests were heaving up and down as you both collected your breaths.

“Was that romantic in your eye?”

He smiled as you asked him that

“Very romantic” he tucked your hair behind your ear with his fingers and this time he kissed you. And he kissed you like he had been your lover all your life.

“To answer your question..no i don't want you to see anyone or take your stupid ex wife back in your life..you are mine..all mine and you always will be”

He gave you a smile as you said that, thumb brushed over your lower lip as he leaned in to kiss you again but a sudden knock on the door sobered you both pretty quickly. However, Luckily it was just Rhaenyra and she was a mess, she had a fight with Harwin and you knew she needed you and that was the least you could have done for her.

An hour later they finally made up again and she sneaked away to go see him and you contemplated whether you should go see Daemon or not and ultimately decided against it.

The next morning you woke up to your phone ringing and door banging, your dad was taken to the hospital as he had collapsed last night and when you saw his weak brittled body in the hospital you suddenly felt so guilty. Maybe that's why Daemon didn't want to cross that line or allowed you to do something you'd regret. As he came to consciousness he requested to see his daughter and you went in, Daemon was stepping out of the room as you made your way in. You noticed his teary eyes, his flushed cheeks that indicated that he had cried, you had a sinking feeling in your gut but you didn't want to accept it. This was too soon, he still had more time right? He had to have more time.

“Daemon told me how good you're doing at work” you faked a smile as your father spoke.

“He's modest”

“He never lies” your father reverted.

“But he hides the truth and he hides his pain” your dad sighed as you said that

“And what about you? Are you keeping up to your promise”

“I wouldn't be so miserable if I didn't”

“What do you see in him? A girl your age..you'll find a man who's–.”

He hesitated to finish his words and it made you furious. Daemon had gone beyond his limits to be there for him, what else did he want?

“Who's what? Kind? Loyal? Loving? Caring? Selfless? What daddy?”

Your voice choked on your tears as you defended the love of your life.

“Who's in your league, your own age group. He's going to be a fucking sixty year old when you're just barely in your forties”

“And that bothers you because ?”

“Because he's going to die way before you would and then you'd be left all alone here with a broken heart”

As his eyes teared up suddenly you saw his fear behind his stubbornness, he wasn't doing this to hurt you, he was just trying to spare you from a lonely life but then what was the point of it all, life never came with an expiration date.

“That's funny dad.. because look..you and mom are the same age and you're leaving her and me when you should have lived a full life so who's to say he'd be the one to die first? I have your genes ..maybe I'd be the one to go..maybe I'll follow you soon after”

“Y/n” he raised his voice and his heart rate sped up on the monitor, that's when the doctors entered and asked you to leave the room which you did immediately, you knew you shouldn't have been fighting with him in such a state but you had to tell him that you loved Daemon and only him, you needed him to take his words back.

You wanted to break the promise and you needed your dad's blessings for that.

As you saw your mom bursting into a fit of cry you immediately went to her and hugged her as tightly as you could.

All your life your parents had shielded you and protected you, but you knew you'd have to grow up now and take some responsibilities because nothing was ever going to be the same. That sinking feeling in your gut was going to become your reality and you couldn't have run from your reality.

You knew your father wasn't going to survive the day.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist

@serving-targaryen-realness @annoyingsweetsstranger @anukulee @mcufan72 @insertsomethingsillyhereple-blog @silentf @ajthefujoshi @stupidthoughtsinwriting @ammo23 @shuichiakainx @daddylokisqueen @ipostwhtifeel @anehkael @madlyinlovewmattmurd0ck @dixie-elocin @urmomsgirlfriend1

@sweatyroadcowboyjudge

[hamsterrodent]

I finally chose to use the relationship chart @onelittleornotthing made, so here's a simple overlook of their relationships!

And under the cut, some more detailed descriptions of their relationships👇

"Peppino is very interesting; he used to be super aggressive towards me, but now, he's actually really nice. I don't know what changed, but I don't mind. He's nicer than- uh.. n-nevermind.."

"I've-a warmed up to him, but he can still sometimes bug-a me. Although, I always have-a this odd, familiar feeling around him.. yet something I only could wish-a for.. like me with Maurice, but.. sweeter?"

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"Gustavo has always been so patient with me! I really appreciate his care and kindness."

"Rattino is so cute! I've always been a fan of little critters, and although it took a while, he became very fond of me!"

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"I've heard about her, but.. I feel uneasy around her. When I see her, I always go to a different room as fast as possible.."

"Fakie tells me about him; this Rattino guy sounds so adorable! But I never see him."

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"The tax guy? Mysterious; all he cares about is that green paper stuff.."

"Spaghetti's rat? It's a weird little rat, especially since Peppino complained about shorty having a rat in his pizzeria."

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"B-boss..? He made me.. and he kept me.. but he treated me.. bad..? N-no, that can't be it..."

"Oh, that critter? I'm surprised mister rage guy took it in! At least it's off my hands.."

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"T-the boss always talked about it; I never see it, but sometimes, I feel as though a presence I don't recognize watches me.."

"Pizzahead's 'failed creation', as he called him. But honestly, Pizzahead was a little insane and unpleasant. So I want to investigate him for myself. He seems nice enough. After all, I can do what I want with that a**hole gone.."

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"He talks.. a LOT.. b-but that isn't to say he's b-bad!!! I-I PROMISE!"

"A shame, I wanted to be able to examine his body and do art studies on him. And perhaps make art of him? He should be similar to Mr. Peppino, but.. I don't think so."

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"Vigi is very kind and understanding. I like talking to him, and he makes great cocoa!"

"I've always been more sociable with animals rather than people, but Rattino is a nice in between. I can have full, normal conversations while still technically speaking with an animal."

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"He talks about cool stuff. But.. he sometimes says and does unreasonable things; mostly to Mr. Peppino, but he does it to me as well.."

"Eh, I don't care about him much. But he listens to me, doesn't argue, and it pisses off the italian man when we talk. Up yours, chunky!"

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"I never met him in the tower, but I wish I had! He's so cuddly and loving.. but I've been told it wasn't always this way.'

"(Rattino's so cute and small! Don't touch him, or you regret life choices.. Rattino is like baby brother to me; special..)"

[drysdaleknieslee]

Wipe Out Pt. 3

Hiii! I'm sorry for this LATE update but you guys wanted more Luke and Lia and I hope I delivered. I hope this isn't too short but I wanted to make it as sweet as possible.

Enjoy!

Wipe Out Part 3

These past four weeks have been the best yet most chaotic weeks of my life. Our team is undefeated now and UMICH’s men’s hockey is on a heater except for five losses. Me and Luke have gotten closer despite us both having taxing schedules. I’ve been getting close with the other guys as well and their chaotic personalities.

I’m currently sitting in the library with Ollie to my left and Kayleigh to my right. Farah, Mark’s girlfriend, sits in front of me as we all stare at this stats homework as if it was a different language.

“I hope the person that decided that stats was needed in the world has a warm pillow on both sides.” Mumbles Ollie as her head is face down on the table.

“Let’s take a break,” said Farah yawning, “it does no good staring at the same problem if we’re tired.”

We all mumble a agreement as I rub my eyelids. I understand the material but boy is it vexing.

“Me and Farah will go get lunch from Tropical Smoothie, you guys want anything?” I opt for a standard strawberry kiwi smoothie and Ollie asks for a sandwich and a chocolate peanut butter smoothie.

After the girls leave it’s me and Ollie, and she’s got a devious grin on her face. “Go ahead and spit it out Ollie.” She’s the nosiest girl I know.

“How’s everything with you and Luke by the way? Anything planned after mid terms?”

I hadn’t thought about that. Me and Luke have just been in the talking stage. He still seemed interested…I hope.

“Judging from the silence I’d say nothing about it has come up?”

“No…should I ask?”

“Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

I take my phone out and open me and Luke’s chat. I don’t think he has practice today…

@Lia.li.23: hey…do you have plans after mid-terms?

It takes no time for those little text bubbles to show up.

@L.hughes_06: Me and the guys were planning on renting a lake house. The girlfriends are coming too. I was gonna ask you about it in class tomorrow.

@L.hughes_06: Ollie mentioned it didn’t she? 🙄

I cut my eyes towards Ollie to see that same devious grin on her face. She mentioned it on purpose. I rolled my eyes and smiled when phone buzzed again.

@L.hughes_06: Do you want to go? If you don’t already have plans…

@Lia.li.23: I’d love to! I don’t have any plans.

@L.hughes_06: great! Let me send you the information for the house.

He sends me the address of the Air BnB. It’s close near Ann Arbor and it’s a cozy little cabin but big enough to hold ten college kids. I hope there are enough rooms…

Luke’s POV

I was nervous about telling Lia about the lake house because we’ve been talking for a while but I’m too chicken to ask her on an actual date. And me thinking about her isn’t gonna get this econ homework done. Midterms aren’t making it any better either.

Duke and Luca are in the kitchen supposed to be making a “midterm break snack” but now I realize their using that as a ploy not to work. Only real people working is me, Rutger, and Ethan.

“Those assholes left us here to suffer” grumbled Rutger.

I’m not even staring at my computer as now I’m thinking about Lia being at the lake house and how I can possibly ask her out. She’s been to almost every one of our games as we have almost been to all of hers. But just meeting at sporting events and class doesn’t count as moving forward in a relationship. If that’s even what you call it…

“You’re not thinking about Econ my friend” said Ethan, breaking my train of thought.

“I wanna ask Leah on a date, but I’m not sure how to…”

Rutger and Ethan give each other a confused and dumbfounded look before looking at me like I had three heads. “You two gonna say something or keep looking at me like I’m stupid?”

“You’ve never asked a girl out before?”

My face heats up in embarrassment as I had to admit I’m the least experienced in the dating department.

“…No…”

“WHAT?!”

Luca and Duke finally come barreling out of the kitchen with bewildered looks on their faces.

“YOU’VE NEVER ASKED A GIRL OUT?!” I wonder how quietly and quickly I can get rid of my roommates to end the misery I caused myself.

“Next he’ll say he’s a virgin.” Said Rutger.

The room goes silent as they all stare at me. They expect me to say I’ve seen some action. I’m already on the verge of slamming my head into my laptop and having to admit this will be the 13th reason.

“Oh my god.”

“Luke, dude, your…actually a virgin?”

“I’ve done it before you?” said Luca grinning.

“That was with my sister you ass, and I told you not to bring that up around me!” said Rutger now looking disgusted on top of pissed.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll help out. The one’s with girlfriends at least” says, shooting daggers at Duke and Luca as he says it.

“I just want to be able to spend time with her outside of school stuff. Get to know her more and show that I’m serious about this.”

They all stare at me again, this time with more tenderness. They see their friend who’s so hopelessly in love it hurts. I like Lia. A lot. Since the moment I met her. Eyes big and full of wonder and fear as she has to move to a whole new state for school. And after talking to her for weeks and seeing her dedication to her sport as much as he is to hockey, he wants nothing more than to show her he’s serious.

Hours later, they finally finish studying and they advise a plan for Luke and Lia’s date.

Lia’s POV

Volleyball practice was early this morning to prepare for our last game before midterms and break. To say I’m sore is an understatement.

I walk into my econ class to spot the three stooges, Ethan, Rutger, and Luke, all in the fourth row. I always sat in front of them as they wouldn’t let me sit anywhere else. I notice something is up though, as Ethan and Rutger sit with two big Cheshire cat grins on their faces. That at 9:00 in the morning was abnormal for them.

“You’re  not high are you?” I ask as I place my bag down and sit with some difficulty.

“I wish” said Rutger, “but no. Just happy for today.”

That was cryptic. I look at Luke and he grins at me before giving me a small wave.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“You doing ok there?”

I winced before I fully sat down. “Coach had us do an early practice” I whispered at the professor came in.

I was able to focus through most of the lecture when I couldn’t hear the three stooges behind me giggling and fussing behind me.

After the midterm started the rest was smooth sailing.  Only two more to go today and then, it’ll be break time.

After the exam, whoever finished could leave. Luke finished before me and before he passed me he whispered ‘wait for me’ before dropping off his test and walking out the door. I finished a few minutes later and got up to drop my test off before leaving the classroom. I walk outside and Luke is waiting for me, scrolling on his phone while leaning against a pillar.

“Are we gonna wait for Ethan and Rutger?”

He looks up at me at the sound of my voice and chuckles lightly. “Nah, those two are gonna take forever to finish.”

I laughed lightly and then there was silence for a second. Just half a beat of us trying to see who was gonna talk first.

“You mind walking with me for a sec? I know your legs are probably sore so we can either sit here…or I can carry you?”

I look at him surprised. “You can’t carry me Luke I’m too heavy!”

“I’m stronger than I look Lia” he said with that crooked smile. He waits for me to decide. I really don’t want to burden him, but my legs are killing me. I won’t turn down chivalry.

“Fine but tell me if you need to rest and I can walk the rest of the way.”

He just laughs lightly before getting on one knee in front of me to get on. He doesn’t have a bag with him as it’s just exams today. I hesitantly grab onto his shoulders as he moves to grab my legs before hoisting me up.

“I have my bag too Luke so please- “

“Lia, you’re not heavy. With or without your bag. Where’s your next exam at?”

You turn your head to hide your blush before mumbling, “the history building.”

He starts heading towards the history building at good pace. I’m tall but being this high feels weird. I look around the campus trying to distract myself from focusing on the felling of Luke’s hold on my legs.

It was a comfortable silence. Luke kept his firm hold on me and I held his shoulders. They were previously around his neck but he jolted me and I nearly choked him.

“Can I ask you something?” he said breaking the silence.

“Of course.”

“When is your last exam?”

“Friday. I have one before the game and them I’m free.” I was currently Wednesday. I had two exams today, one tomorrow, and the last one being stats.

“After the game, do you want to go somewhere with me?”

Oh my god he’s gonna ask me out!

I can feel him getting nervous waiting for my answer.

“I’d love that. Where do you have in mind?”

He can’t rub his neck like he usually does so he opts for stroking my leg. It’s throwing off my train of thought.

“There’s a rink, uhm, that me and my brothers usually go to when we visit her, and I wanted to know if you’d like to go with me and I teach you how to skate like me mom taught me and my brothers- “

“Luke. Breathe. I’d really like that.”

He sighs of relief, and I notice the back of his neck turning red. After the trek, we make it to the history building for my last exam of the day.

“We’ll go after the game. Dress warmly.”

I hop down from his back, and he goes to stretch as if his back was killing him. He gives me a cheeky grin before I punch him in the arm, and he actually winces with a ‘oww’.

“Don’t make you upset. Noted.”

“Bye Luke, thanks for the lift.”

“Your welcome Lia.” The way he said it while looking at me like that, he seemed like he didn’t want to leave. And frankly, I don’t want him to either. He stands with me until the professor shows to start the exam and I have to shoo him away before he misses his own exam.

It was hard for me to think about past historic events when I keep thinking about Luke’s hand on my leg and the look of longing he had before he left my classroom.

I have a date with Luke Hughes.