#at least I'm being indulged
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Haven't exactly posted anything substantial in the last few months, and although it has been partially because of artblock... it's also because I had the megalomaniac comic idea which I am currently drawing, mostly unscripted and... very, very long. At least to my parameters, anyways. But yeah, lack of motivation is also messing me up a lot, I have put myself in various smaller projects, and I might give up on it at any time. Still, art is art right? Drawings will be drawings! And someone might be interested in this. Well, my rant ends here. Enjoy images!
you may be thinking I left the speech bubbles empty because I wanted to make it a mystery. No, it's actually because my clipstudio paint doesn't let me use outside fonts (in an unprecedented way according to my csp buds), and I kind of still pondering about what I should do about it this one is the shortest scene. I haven't finished all the scene's thumbnails' yet, but by the thickness, you can tell which is longer and shorter (thicker: shorter; thinner: longer)
and I still have a lot to draw. In any case, I hope you enjoyed seeing this ::) I'll soon be finishing other simultaneous wips, so be tuned! Bye bye, drink water!!!
#cobaltfish#outer wilds#outer wilds fanart#outer wilds art#fanart#feldspar#outer wilds feldspar#gneiss outer wilds#comic art#the real ones know how much I'm suffering#at least I'm being indulged#by myself#anyhow#slate has a gun#kinda
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Obligatory Bees being cute even in an episode with less character interactions
Bonus tiny, out of focus Blake clapping for her girlfriend
#RWBY#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Bumbleby#rwby spoilers#Blake rolling her eyes and being so FONDLY INDULGENT of Yang#THAT HASN'T CHANGED SINCE VOLUME 1#It kinda drives me crazy that the background of this scene is just a solid dark colour#It makes it look kinda muddy#But I guess at least that helps the Bees stand out lmao#(My complaints really only apply when making gifs. It looks fine when I'm just watching the show)#otp: bumblebee#For my own tagging purposes
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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Down on the West Coast
#the is THE most self indulgent thing I've ever made#it is FOR ME#I'm just being nice enough to share#like ratfit is in here AT LEAST 3x#... and it's not even the worst clip in here tbh#he better look hot as fuck next season to make up for season 4#yeaaa next weekend me is gonna LOVE this#ALSO#this would've done NUMBERS back in 2016#my talents are wasted#jonathan byers#stranger things#st edit
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Everything has been so pathetically genuinely terribly cringe to me lately, to the point where I don't get joy out of anything anymore, but I'm trying
I'm aware enough to know that this is a side effect of severe depression and stagnance and mundaneity and generally being sick of being alive and hating everything for it
#but I swear to God the older I get#The less I remember the majority of people being this embarrassing and inducing#And this is coming from someone that is horribly immature and eccentric themselves at least in terms of their joys in life#it might just be self projected self-loathing#but I haven't been able to enjoy looking at anyone stuff lately#It's all pointless self-indulgent and frankly just immature#Even posting my own thoughts is making me feel embarrassed because I know doubted the core at this point that I don't matter#and that even posting about how I don't matter is a state of immaturity#I feel like I've been an adult in America for too long and I've been using social media for too long and I'm just sick and bored of the way#that people and things are in general and the way that people think and see others and my placement in it especially#It's all become very embarrassing and stupid for me personally to observe and unfortunately be a part of whether I like it or not
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You crack me up, lmao.
First sentence:
"No, don't eat that!"
Too late. Trigger had already jumped forward and closed his jaws around the frog that had been making its way across the straw of the barn floor.
Tab winced, then realised he could still hear indignant, muffled, croaking. He dropped to his knees in front of the dog, and started trying to prise open his muzzle.
"Drop it! Drop it! Give! C'mon, you're a soldier, act like it! No eating the locals!"
#bless thank you for always indulging me you're an angel#and im glad i can at least entertain with my neediness lmao#band of brothers#nathan writes#ask game#trigger the dog#floyd talbert#no i do not know anything about dutch frog species or if they could actually survive being in a dogs mouth BUT its my fic#so i'm saying it was unharmed with the power of fiction
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sevchino req!!! wanna see protective arle to the children please,,,,,,father in action raahhhh
you and me BOTH anon 🥺🥺🥺 ......................
protective || sevchino
cw. none (?)
notes. yeah i like bullying pantalone (and not in a fun way like a bully rahu). sue me. also super self indulgent with no consistent pov dshjjdfhk
"My, my. What's a little girl like you doing in a place like this, hm?"
Estelle hugs the little bear closer to her chest. Her father had told her to stay in the office, but she was taking so long, and it was starting to get lonely...
She lifts her eyes up from the ground to look at the man crouched before her. He has long, dark hair that reminds her of her father's with how soft it looks. He has a polite smile on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. And his eyes—something about them made her nervous.
"I'm here with my father," she answers quietly, squeezing her toy. "I was supposed to stay in the office, but..."
The man clicks his tongue. "Tsk. Poor little thing, did your father leave you behind?"
Estelle bites her lip. Should she answer him? Father always told her not to speak with strangers, but it's been so long, and she wants to go home. She knows she'd begged her father to let her tag along, but now, all she wants to do is go home to her mother and Noé.
So she nods, looking back down at the ground. The man sighs, and rises back to his full height. He's tall, towering over her, and the way the lights backlight his form makes Estelle reflexively take a step back. He looks down at her down the bridge of his nose, the silver rim of his glasses glinting.
"Then how about I help you find her, hm?" he asks. "I think I know exactly who your father is."
Despite her apprehension, Estelle brightens. "Really?"
"Really," he nods. His white cloak parts, and he extends a gloved hand to her. But before he can take her smaller hand in his own, an arc of pure, blistering flame snakes around the girls feet, creating a protective, blazing wall. But around the girl, the fires cool, warm and comforting instead of threatening.
Footsteps echo like thunder down the hall, and the man tucks his hand back into his cloak, those dangerous eyes turning sharp, and a venomous grin creeping onto his face.
"We meet again, Knave," he sneers. Estelle turns, and standing behind her, expression twisted into a level of fury she's never seen before, is her father. A blood-red wing pulses over her left shoulder, flickering and shifting in the light. In her father's hand is a mean-looking red scythe, radiating a furious, hungry aura.
"Stay away from my daughter, Regrator," Arlecchino snarls, practically vibrating with rage. She keeps her eyes trained on the other Harbinger as she kneels down, and Estelle runs into her waiting arm. Pantalone watches it all with a deceptively placid smile.
"You know," he hums, "she has her eyes."
Arlecchino glares at him with enough fury to kill a normal man. But as much as she loathes the waste of breath before her, he is still a Harbinger, and Harbingers have always been far from normal.
"Do not speak of my wife," she says lowly, dangerously, cradling Estelle against her chest. Estelle tucks her head beneath her father's chin, one small hand winding tight in her father's jacket and the other clutching her bear plushie. The little thing's fur is slightly singed. Then, her father's gaze shifts from the man and to her, and her eyes soften. "Are you alright, starshine?"
Estelle nods, snuggling closer against her father's warmth. Arlecchino presses a soft kiss to her forehead, then turns back to Pantalone. She dispels her scythe, but it does not make her any less deadly. She considers, briefly, ripping the man before her to shreds; but Estelle takes priority, and she'd hate for her daughter to have to witness such violence, so she turns on her heel and walks away instead.
She will ensure the Regrator understands that her family is off limits in other ways.
#sevchino#arlecchino#the sevchino lore ft. pantalone is weirdly personal because EYE was once taken advantage of by someone older while i was functionally a kid#the damage to my psyche was significant but at least now i can heal by imagining arle being willing to throw hands for me 😌😌#selfshipping can actually be such a healing thing#i actually considered like. a little bit of an extension but i thought i feel like that mightve been TOO self indulgent even for yours trul#it was going to be like pantalone saying 'i had her first' and arle responding 'yet i'm the one she married' or smtg like that#but then i was like nah this is enough for one day LOL#pants is still salty about arle pulling up and yoinking me because he functionally viewed me as someone he owned in a sense#and pants hates getting his things stolen as we see in yelan's stories#im rambling now shdksjdh anyway tq for asking for more sevchino <333#i get so excited when i see them in my inbox frfr#i prommy i am working on the others; they r just very long and honestly i keep them there to stare at them and kick my feet and giggle LOL
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I.... I was scrolling through my old writing and found this...
Ignore my horrendously low screen brightness
ANYWAY YEAH NEW CHAPTER OF MY SLOW BURN IS UPLOADED!!
#transformers#transformers fanfiction#transformers cyberverse#jetfire#transformers jetfire#sky byte#JetByte#transformers skybyte#he would write this.... maybe#everyone aboard the 4am nonsense writing train#istg i either write something I'm extremely proud of or... this#transformers Power and Prose#yeah that's right i made a tag for my fanfic#I'm planning on it being a big project btw with at least one maybe two other fics within the same universe so#I'm being serious about this self indulgent JetByte propaganda okay
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so, the most recent novel i managed to actually finish writing, three long years ago, was the book of my absolute lifelong dreams and most of the time i just leave it sitting on my computer and pretend it doesn't exist because i feel too tenderly about it and i'm too proud of it and it's agony to me. these feelings are, for whatever reason, unbearable hell. but like once a year i work up the courage to reread it, and every time i'm like, "god DAMN! who wrote this?? this is exactly what i've wanted to read my whole life!!!!!!! it's simply delightful!" and then i remember that oh yeah, it's me!
#i feel like i should vow to try to query this thing like 50 times just because i love it so much and i owe it to my own love of it#and then when i get rejected because it's 155k and that's insane (but it NEEDS TO BE!) i can at least say i tried#i don't get what it says about me that i wrote the book of my dreams and now i'm too embarrassed so i pretend it doesn't exist#instead of trying to get it published#as it is apparently my lifelong goal to be a published novelist#why is my brain wired this way!??!?!?!?!#i think i'm just too scared that everyone else will hate it and it will hurt my feelings too much because it's so me#it is truly and completely my sweet little baby#and it has the same word count as jane austen's emma which i only discovered after i finished writing it#fate!!!!!!!#dollsome's deep thoughts#it's my birthday so i'm allowing myself this really self-indulgent post#getting older and still never being a (non-self-) published novelist: the story of me
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"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."
A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕
#sacredshipping#morty x eusine#morty/eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#eusine#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#pokemon tickle#'tis the season to be giggly or however that song goes askjdasnd//////////////////#pretty much a self-indulgent treat for myself this holiday season SDKJFSNKDFNS it's been real quiet this time 'round#I honestly don't usually look forward to christmas anyways since I have some bad memories tied to it :'D though it has been exceptionally--#--all over the place this year; partly on the busyness and errands being run on my household's side--#--though mainly on my own headspace and how I haven't.............. been great- these past few months#December in particular has been a time of reflection for me and it's just--been a lot - to grapple with#I needed to distance myself from things to try to make sense of myself---and still - I'm not quite sure where to go from here just yet#but I'll figure it out - one day. I finally do have a schedule with that new psychologist so that's something to look forward to#and I'm trying to get my bearings where I am now so--that's at least something to be grateful for I feel ❤️#got a bit sad there so I deserve to draw my sillies being tickly as a gift for myself yes yes akjsdajsknd#I've always wanted to draw a lee!Eusine ever since he's been implanted in my mind graaaaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHH /affectionate#let them be soft and sweet and domestic and silly with each other it's what they deserve 🫵🫵🫵
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Just thinking about my headcanon that Elladan and Elrohir are both temperamentally inclined towards Men (and the Dúnedain particularly), and despite the difficulties and complications, would likely have both chosen the fate of Men had not Arwen chosen mortality.
But it's not that Arwen's choice wholly determines theirs. We know they have to consider their choice and that they delay making it. It's not an easy or obvious thing for them.
Still, the prospect of Elrond and Celebrían losing all their children to Elros's fate hangs heavily over their thought processes and quiet discussions and so forth. Ultimately, despite their personal inclinations, one of the twins decides he can't do that to their family and people, and makes the choice of Elwing.
And the other doesn't.
#i think it's probably elrohir who goes and elladan who stays but i'm not completely set#just thinking of elladan's name being semi prophetic on celebrían's part#and whichever one /does/ stay losing his twin and companion of centuries for near-eternity#while also remaining part of his sister's life#and arwen still has one of her brothers around - at least sometimes!#but i think he does predecease her and ... yeah. indulgent family tragedy shit is my jam :)#anghraine babbles#anghraine's headcanons#elladan#elrohir#legendarium blogging
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I hadn't sat down to rewatch s2 in a while and now that I'm doing it (for pure entertainment purposes but also for ref for a fic I'm not even working on yet as I have been run down by the VtM doctor superion AU after writing the gen VtM WN AU ahem) I'm kind of amazed at how the feelings are all still there. The excitement, the laughter, the hatred I have for Vincent...
Ah, this show. There is nothing like it.
#silly blabbering#i just felt like sharing. i even like ava more this time around -- when i first watched s2 i only came round to her by the end#but this time i'm rooting for her from the start so THAT is an interesting difference#(which doesn't apply to s1 lol i had been rewatching it to take screencaps for icon making and yeah. far from being my fave)#the jillian and suzanne love only grows i must say. ahhh them...#anyway. about the doctor superion vtm au. it's... it's going at an insane pace tbh. i have 16 pages done already lol#i'm a slow writer so that is... A LOT in three days. and i should do at least one or two more in a bit#i'm putting poor jillian through a shitshow tbqh but it will be worth it! i hope!!!! it's self-indulgent as fuck#which is a weird thing to say considering the misery i'm writing but i've just loved vtm for nearly 20 years now so i'm indulging in that
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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me looking at my own blog: god i wish this bitch would stfu
#liz speaks#i just say things man#and i think it's so fucking funny that people on here take me as seriously as they do#i'm like...the least serious person you're ever going to meet#also why do people get so pressed about a random person's opinion on here?#i literally don't make policy dude#all i said was i think some silly little thing about some silly little fandom#and suddenly i've declared war on an allied nation or something? idk that's how seriously people take the discourse on here sometimes#like there are things that i think are serious of course#but yelling at me because someone asked me if i would make merch for my fics and then when i asked the masses about it#i'm being accused of trying to steal people's money? that's when you KNOW it's time to go touch some grass#this is a hobby not my profession. like people get so pressed about the most inconsequential shit on here.#my profession is being a silly goose. something i'm very good at actually#oh no did someone interpret your blorbo in a way you didn't like? call the national guard about it ig#idk dude sometimes i truly just want to pull away from everyone and ignore y'all#i think i'd be happier sometimes just posting my stories and not interacting with anyone#because some people (anons at the very least) make this place so bleak and miserable because they feel like they have to police everything#literally just vibe my guy. nothing on here is that serious. we're all just yapping about blorbos and reading/writing self indulgent shit#eat some grapes and sit in the shade or something idk
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#lol!! not to be bitter and grumpy but i think there is a part of me that wants to be missed when i leave a place#am i slightly hurt that there has been no response from anyone after i informed people (albeit online)#that i would be leaving this church due to distance and unprecedented circumstances and other logistics (well there are#other reasons too but i'm not about to announce them in a group chat)? ......yes#i KNOW i am very young and am looked upon somewhat indulgently by the other congregants#for what is probably excessive enthusiasm and childish naivete and an inability to shut up when i'm nervous#but i thought that i'd been at this church long enough to be missed! or wanted there. perhaps that's a me problem though#anyway :))))))) this is fine. i didn't spend about an hour drafting that text and worrying that i'd hurt people by leaving anyhow#(i did and it was very painful) (i DO know that i have a desire to be Specially Liked or at least Strongly Liked in a circle of friends#and that IS a me problem and i KNOW that i want to be loved so very badly) (BUT STILL I THOUGHT AT THE VERY LEAST#I'D CONTRIBUTED ENOUGH TO MATTER even though that's not how mattering works and NOT the best way to look at the situation)#anyway i know i'm overthinking#but darn it i wanted to matter in this community! and i loved being a part of this church!#songbird's year of feeling 22
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I've just started writing chapter six for Hopelessly Devoted To (using) You (but you're using me too) and I've officially passed the 30,000 words mark!
(this is not my official status update for this week's chapter, that's going up later today)
#here's to hoping that I can keep this up and actually finish it#but considering the sunk cost already involved#I'd say that it's likely at this point#especially since I still have motivation#*knocking on wood*#and I'm also still having fun#whether or not this already being over 30k is necessary...#well...#it's self indulgent and full of character moments#I'd say it's worth it#at least I'd be happy to read this if I wasn't already writing it#then again I probably am not the best judge for this#fingers crossed people like my ramblings#hopelessly devoted to you fic
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