#as much as i love all my faves.... i LOVE seeing some of them suffer

[imp-thing]

One very specific character I like: *Is happy or living peacefully* Me: *Wakes up in a cold sweat at 4 am* Something's not right...

[mobbu-min]

☆ yummy in my tummy ☆

part two

a/n i swear everytime im about to play love and deepspace, the app needs another update. my phone storage can't keep up T0T anyways, i'm not that far in but xavier is my fave. he lowkey reminds me of silver haha. rafayel is a close second tho

includes: all of octavinelle, scarabia + pomefiore

tw mentions of eating disorder

want more? check out part one!

Octavinelle <3

⋆ Perhaps the last dorm that you want to know about your skills. But alas, your heart is vast, so even shady seamen deserves some delicious home cooked meals/treats!

⋆ How about making some extra cash? Is what Azul says after taking a bit. He does mean it. Not only would Monstro Lounge gain some more popularity after news of the Ramshackle Perfect’s home made meals/treats were being served, but he gets to spend time with you without giving his feelings away? A win-win if you asked him. As we all know, Azul does suffer from an eating disorder, as much as he tries to deny it, but somehow your cooking/baking doesn’t upset him at all. If anything, he gets so lost in the flavors that he doesn’t realize that his stomach is full and plate empty. Should he be concerned? Disgusted with himself? Lots of negative emotions begin to swell up, but when he glances at you, fully expecting the worst, he’s met with your proud smile. Happiness practically radiating off your being. And suddenly, Azul doesn’t mind the feeling of a full stomach as long as you look at him like that again.

⋆ Jade finds himself coming to you more often to ask for tips on how to cook mushrooms in different ways. Heck, he even encourages you to come out mushroom hunting with him. He’s fascinated by the way you work, seeing you mix different spices and ingredients together inspires him to do the same. He enjoys getting a glimpse at a third world, your world. It reminds him that the universe is truely a big, fascinating place. He is touched that your first thought was to bring him food, don’t worry he’ll repay the favor.

⋆ Your food is the only thing to get Floyd out of his moods! Once he smells the delicious scent of your meals/sweets, he instantly goes back to being silly and goofy! He will pester the living daylights out of you to make his favorite foods. You will know no peace! Floyd always makes his distaste clear. He’s an honest guy, what can he say? So it’s a big achievement that your food gets the Floyd pass. He will glare at anyone that dares to come near his food. This is his food, not theirs! Floyd’s a good cook himself, so like Jade, if he’s feeling particularly chummy, you might be gifted with his own unique concoction.

Scarabia <3

⋆ Scarabia is known to have the best food in the school! So it was a little jarring when you decided to give them some of your homemade food. But you really have nothing to worry about when it comes to these too.

⋆ You thought you were going to go blind with how bright Kalim's smile was. It truly could rival the sun. Because of the trust between you and Kalim, he devours it within seconds. Practically buzzing in excitement as the flavors touch his tongue. He’s not joking when he says that it’s as good as Jamil’s food. He wants to throw a party where you and Jamil have a cook off! But also just to show off your amazing cooking. You’re going to have to politely tell him that might be too much for you. Or that you only cook for special people! (subtle flirting hehe) And well Kalim is Kalim so it’s like a 50/50 chance that it won’t fly over his head. But in the case that it doesn’t, Kalim gets all warm and flustered. You know how some people get cuteness aggression and just want to squeeze said cuteness, well that’s Kalim. Instantly you're in his arms while he exclaims how much he loves you!

⋆ Jamil gave you the weirdest look, thinking that you wanted something from him. But alas! You did it out of the goodness of your heart. After getting over his initial suspicion, Jamil is incredibly thankful! I get a feeling that between everything that Jamil has to handle, he tends to eat very little most days. Just enough to get him to bedtime. So when you popped out of thin air with food, but not just any food his favorite, Jamil is touched. Though just because he’s touched, that doesn’t mean he won’t critique it! Internally of course, unless you ask. I would like to say that this would lead to cooking dates, but Jamil gives me the impression that he doesn’t like others in the kitchen while he works. Though he’s willing to try it out for you! Omg, if you make him food from the Scalding Sands, he just might tear up (lol, probably not but that’s a funny thought) but he will be incredibly touched!

Pomefiore <3

⋆ A tricky dorm to cook/bake for. A life or death situation! You must satisfy the Queen’s tastes or else you’ll face everlasting sleep! OoooOOoooooOOOoooo

⋆ Your greatest foe, the Queen herself! Does your food satisfy the Queen’s strict diet? ………partially. Listen, Vil holds himself to high regards and keeps a stern eye on his calories and where those calories come from. And while yes, you are going the right path, you also took some side quests on the way. In other words, you were like 74% to getting Vil’s approval. But fear not! For Vil is more than willing to take you under his wing! Though, Vil’s not a chef himself, so he’ll guide you in the ways of his diets. As long as you keep those in mind, Vil finds himself thoroughly enjoying anything you make him. He enjoys foods that are light on the stomach with plenty of nourishment. Vil will oftentimes find himself thinking about your food. His stomach growling in hunger. He appreciates it whenever you show up with homemade snacks. Vil will oftentimes submerge himself in his work, whether that be new roles, schoolwork or guiding his dorm mates, and forget to eat. So knowing that you're always thinking of him and coming to check up on him makes him feel all mushy and gooey inside. Goodness, the effects you have on him.

⋆ C’est délicieux! Anything and everything you give Rook is eaten with fervor. Truly enjoying and savoring every bite! For how could he let anything go to waste? You put your heart and soul into it, it would be wrong not to enjoy it with his own heart and soul. His appetite is never quenched when it comes to your food. He consumes your food with such earnestness that it's hard not to get all flustered. The compliments are never ending when it comes to him. Rook could (and has) write poetry off the delicious taste of your food. Sweet, yet a little off putting. Will jump at any occasion to speak about your food, and by extension you. Eveytime he sees you with a bag or box, Rook is skipping towards you with a little tune to each step.

⋆ Nothing could beat his Meemaw’s apple pie, but Epel supposes that yours come to a close second. Your food is the only thing Vil will turn a blind eye to, which Epel takes as an opportunity to slyly (not really) suggest new recipes for you to try. Honestly, Epel really likes your food! He gets all flustered whenever you pop with food for him. At first he was a little insulted that you made him food, thinking you were insulting his masculinity or something by babying him. But after your very honest words (and a reprimanding from Vil and Leona for making you sad), Epel understands that it was just you trying to show him that you cared for him. I can see Epel going to Jack and asking ‘Is someone giving you food manly?’ and Jack, who happened to overhear Leona telling Ruggie, casually responds with, ‘My mom always makes my dad food, so yeah…” And Epel’s all like, ‘Well damn, if Jack looks like that then his dad must be super macho.’ or something like that. Needless to say, Epel has never hit someone so hard before over food. (rip grim and ace)

[hanafubukki]

Hello hello, sorry to barge in suddenly

I love ur content XD especially the family themed with Lilia. #1 Bat dad got me weak in the knees.

I do love to think that Lilia would be OBSESSED with his pregnant wife and unborn child, literally glued to his wife since he found out that she got pregnant and even when the child is born? Man won't let you alone.

What do you think? I love me some family fluff content with this bat dad

Hello Anonie 💞💚💙

Thank you so much 💞☺️ I’m happy that you like my posts. You don’t have to apologize Anonie, I enjoy getting asks.

Lilia with his family is an absolute fave of mine to write about. Him with babies?? *shakes you* my favorite kind of tea.

I was reading a manhwa and remembered this ask because there was this moment that a husband went through for his wife that had me going “Yes! Lilia would have that!!” 😆😎

✨sympathy pregnancy✨ it’s when the expecting partner (and in some rare cases, very close friends) experience the symptoms and behaviors of expectant mothers.

You know I’m just going to take this idea and run with it 🤣🫶

The day you and Lilia find out you’re pregnant is one of joy. It’s not a shock to anyone really. The way he’s practically by your side when he’s not with his boys, Lilia doesn’t hide the fact that he adores you.

He really doesn’t. In fact, Maleficia, herself, was waiting for the day she’d receive a letter about your pregnancy from Malleus. Everyone knew.

It was a good idea that Lilia spent some nights in your dorm.

When you start showing signs of fatigue and nausea, you visit a healer with Lilia by your side. Where you born receive the news. Both of you are over the moon, but Lilia looks ready to actually jump as high as the moon.

Your pregnancy comes with a few hiccups. Nausea in the morning. Fatigue. Appetite changes. Aches. It wasn’t easy for you once your pregnancy symptoms kicked in.

Throughout all this, Lilia was by your side. Helping you the best he could. If he wasn’t by your side, one of the boys was.

After a hard day of symptoms, of which Mrs. Zigvolt stated was normal for someone having a half fae and half human baby, Lilia couldn’t help but feel guilty. You’re human after all, it would be harder for you to deal with this baby. He wished he could help you.

The next few days, surprisingly, you felt better? You could eat more. Your body aches lowered and your fatigue practically disappeared.

But you noticed Lilia…seemed a little off. He tried to hide it but you knew his tics by now. When he suddenly got nauseous one day, you asked Malleus to call the healer.

The healer merely announced Lilia suffering from sympathy pregnancy. Rare amongst human and fae kind, but not unheard of. Eventually, it would pass.

You felt bad for Lilia but his boys on the other had:

“The dedication Lord Lilia serves is an example for us all!”

“Father will need medication to handle his symptoms.”

“How supportive you are, Lilia. Maybe I should ask the royal scriptors to write about your romantic tales.”

You knew If he wasn’t so nauseated, Lilia would be berating them.

Even after the revelation, Lilia was determined to stay by your side. Content that you were feeling well and full of energy.

He became the talk of town, but nothing he didn’t handle with pride and quips.

As time went on, the symptoms mellowed out. Soon, a new member of the family joined. Healthy and already loved more than the number of stars in the sky.

This kind of got away from me lol 😆 it’s been awhile since I’ve been this chaotic with an ask, especially for Lilia, so I hope you enjoyed. 🫶💞

You could probably see where I ran out of steam lol

The manhwa that inspired this is “I Failed to Divorce my Husband.”

[signanothername]

Why do you like Killer?

*Cracks knuckles* get ready

I don’t like Killer, I fucking LOVE HIM

He’s my number 1 fave au sans and has been for a very long time

Now to be clear, I’m talking about canon Killer here, i have mixed feelings about some fanon interpretations, some are good and i genuinely love them, others not so much

That being said, let’s actually talk about why i love my beautiful amazing wonderful son <3333

(All art used in this post is by Killer’s creator: Rahafwabas)

The very first hook for me is his very concept, the mere idea of a sans basically agreeing to go on a killing spree after so many genocide runs is just *chef’s kiss*

Killer knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t, yet he did

Killer doomed himself by his choice, he could’ve stayed as “sans” but he chose to accept Chara’s offer, yet his choice came to be after he saw no point in refusing anymore (important addition and a correction here)

The canon comics had Killer saying that he’s the way he is cause he gave up, he said “you won, you’re the reason I’m like this”, he’s been on so many genocide runs that he felt a little part of him die each run, only to give up and go on said killing spree

It’s interesting how the player is a big part of Killer’s story, cause whether Chara was involved or not, the player is the root cause of his suffering

But what i love the most is that regardless of his backstory or reasons, Killer’s actions led to their inevitable consequences, and it forever changed him

The biggest change? His very soul, it went from a normal monster soul to his signature target soul, infused with Determination, something that supposedly hurts monsters, it’s almost like his soul was infected with it, and you can see how it physically affects him with the black liquid that constantly comes out his eyes, nose and mouth, and even at times, that sludge is too much that he chokes on it

And the amusing yet tragic parallel? Killer aimed to “feel something new” by his genocide runs, only to end up not feeling anything at all, at least at his default stage 2

Which brings me to the concept of his soul’s stages

I love Killer’s stages so so much, it’s such a beautiful unique and wonderful concept

Killer’s individual stages are sooooo intriguing to me, it shows Killer in a different light each time depending on which stage he’s in, stage 1 is the closest he is to being “sans”, the closest to he used to be, he can feel emotions and is generally back to his more lazy bones attitude, as well as his ability to actually show sympathy, and feel the pain he’s always in, but what’s interesting is that regardless of the fact he’s the closest to his old self in this stage, it’s still so clear that Killer isn’t really “sans” anymore, that no matter what, he truly had changed in a way that can never be reversed, a point of no return, even when Color saves him, cause his new habits? His fears? His pain? His trauma? They can never be taken away, Killer has to live with the scars of what he experienced

Stage 2 is who he’d become, he can’t feel anything at this stage, emotions nonexistent, and his nonchalant behavior towards himself and others is most apparent here, a parallel I like to think of is that Killer’s inability to feel anything at all is almost like prolonged sensory deprivation, when you’re deprived of sensory input/ simulation for long periods, your brain needs compensate, and so it does its job, Killer’s soul prevents him from feeling so he resorts to other methods (usually very self destructive) to compensate for his lack of emotional capacity

I also really really love how that especially during stage 2, Killer isn’t trustworthy, cause in stage 1 you can actually trust him to an extent, in stage 2 Killer’s actions, behaviors and mindset are completely unpredictable, but not because he’s random, cause he’s actually extremely calculated, yet regardless, his carelessness when it comes to his own life and other people’s lives is dialed to an 11 here, so he could either choose to kill/attack or simply stay and listen

we even get an actual in depth look at how Killer’s mind works in one of the canon comics, in which Killer contemplates whether to attack Dream or not as he listens to his own stages in his head, one of which tells him to Kill Dream, while the other tells Killer to talk to Dream first

How Killer comes to a final decision on whether he attacks or not is something I believe his calculated mind makes depending on the situation and the pros/cons of what act he chooses, Killer is pretty smart, he knows when to let his trigger happy self out and when to settle down

Stage 3 or the “crazy stage” is the stage in which he’d attack anyone in his way whether friend or foe, we unfortunately don’t have much canon info regarding this stage, but that ain’t gonna stop me from analyzing the shit outta it (and talk about how i perceive it)

I like to think of this stage as the combination between stage 1 and 2, yet it’s almost like his soul can’t truly decide on which stage to settle on and by extension founding stage 3 as a separate stage by itself, Killer becomes extremely unstable at this stage, his soul moves rapidly and it’s obvious he’s in pain cause of it, whether that pain is just emotional or both physical and emotional isn’t really clear, yet i’d like to believe it’s both, and i feel like Killer’s capacity to attack anyone at this stage is related to that pain, and something I really love to believe is that Killer can’t calm down enough to settle back to stage 1 or 2 unless he either wears himself out by fighting someone, or he’s left alone to his own demons long enough to pull himself together, if he were to be forcefully restrained during this stage, it would only serve to make it worse and prolong the time he stays that way (cough something i may or may not have made a quick comic about but never shared as always vjvjvjj)

Not to mention, one of the canonical responses Killer gives when asked if he’s ok at stage 3 seems to make Killer alternate between answers he wants to give between saying he’s “fine” and “i don’t know” which makes sense, Killer isn’t stable at all, it’s almost like his stage 1 self and stage 2 self are fighting over who gets to talk (stage 2 seems more dominant)

Yet the fact Killer is able to answer and comprehend his surroundings enough at this stage is very intriguing to me, cause it shows how much Killer is able to handle/endure (which is A LOT cause damn) and not only that, but it also gives us a very clear difference between this stage and stage 4

As for stage 4?? Woooh boi, it’s the stage I like to call “plunging into darkness”

We also don’t have much canon info about this stage, but one of the things i find interesting is the fact Killer deliberately keeps it a secret from everyone, when he tells Color about his stages, he only tells him up to stage 3, never bringing up stage 4, only for Chara to sneer at Killer that he shouldn’t keep it from his new BFF

It’s obvious Killer himself is very uncomfortable with the subject of stage 4, it’s apparent that it’s a stage that he rarely gets to, but it still bothers him enough to not want to even mention it, which makes sense, cause the comic we had of stage 4 shows that Killer gets to that stage when he’s reminded of all the murders he committed, and unsurprisingly, when he’s reminded of his brother, as what triggered this stage is actually a memory of Papyrus telling Sans to “see a puzzle”, only to be followed by memories of screams of anger, fear, and hatred of those he killed immediately afterwards, stage 4 is heavily related to his trauma

Not to mention it’s clear that when Killer gets to stage 4 he blacks out, he’s completely unaware of anything he does during this stage, and is only left to deal with the aftermath when he gets back to his senses, the fact it’s also a stage that seems to be “getting worse” is something that Killer definitely seems to hate

It sometimes makes me think whether Killer had gotten into trouble cause he killed someone Nightmare wanted alive while at this stage, cause with how he keeps it a secret, I’d assume Nightmare would be unaware of it for a while (comic idea perhaps >:) )

But y’know what’s better than talking about the stages?? Talking about Killer’s personality, behaviors and trauma

Killer can’t distinguish between what’s real or not, and it’s obvious he sometimes sees the world in the third person, as in he’s not completely there at times, not to mention the amount of voices he hears in his head, from his stages talking to him to hallucinations of Chara, Frisk and Papyrus, and oooh boi does he hate these hallucinations, the past obviously haunts Killer and it’s something he tries running away from constantly, yet he can never truly run from it when it follows him everywhere

Killer has a smile on his face most the time, but his attitude changes especially when Chara is mentioned, or when he’s reminded of his past in any way, he literally avoids food that reminds of his past life as “sans”, he freezes up at certain phrases such as “best friend” (something i also made a comic about that i never shared chchhchc)

He just absolutely hates to be reminded of the person he used to be, of all the things he used to have, cause in truth? They were all taken away from him by his own hands, only to be then forced to work under Nightmare, who only ensures that he never finds peace of mind

And the sad part? Killer let’s all those things hurt him, he lets Nightmare have his way with him, he lets Chara torment him, cause he thinks he deserves it, and most importantly, he deluded himself into believing that this is what he wants because it’s what everyone else wants, because it’s what the player wants

Killer even sometimes tries to force himself not to feel anything, cause come on, since when does he feel anything at all?

Killer, to put it bluntly, hates himself, and he thinks that his suffering is the Karma of what he’s done, and even at one point, he was going to erase himself out of existence cause he believed that’s what he deserved, as in Killer thought of himself as unworthy when it comes to Papyrus, that his brother doesn’t need him, that his brother is better off without him, hell he even tells Color that he needs to kill him if he ever reaches stage 3, it’s an obvious “ i want someone to put me outta my misery” attitude

Killer feels hopeless, and so he lets himself suffer thinking he can’t ever find peace or hope again

Yet the interesting part? You’d never know that Killer hates himself unless you’re a being of emotions (Nightmare and Dream) or someone who’s perceptive enough to notice Killer’s self-loathing like Color, that’s how good of an actor Killer can be, you’d think he’s a cold emotionaless killer but the truth only shines to those who actually can see through his act

Killer just has that amazing character depth and his story is genuinely so unique and beautiful, cause you in his story you can find details of other details within the details vhvhvjvj

All that? Mixed with really adorable little things like his love for cats, his silly attitude, his nonchalance with Nightmare, his capacity to be social with whoever, and his friendship with color? That is why I love Killer Anon <33333

[zaimta]

Hey, can i request some friends to lovers relationship headcannons for Gray, Natsu and Loke from Fairy Tail with and fem!reader please

彡FRIENDS TO LOVERS

a/n- the crazy thing is this is a trope that would work for them the best, can you tell loke is my fave i went crazy on his

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

GRAY

unfortunately for you since y’all are friends he always walkin around in his drawls, he simply does not care

he makes fun of you to no end, and don’t let you talk about something he could care less about either

“shh shh wait you hear that y/n?” he cups his ear “i don’t hear anything??” “you see because that’s the sound of someone who gives a fuck.” you rose a brow “i don’t hear any- oh.”

he thinks he’s so funny

he’s actually thee worst person to go to for relationship advice, if he openly does not like the person you’re dating and you come to him about your problems he’s like “break up with them” with no type of hesitation

at some point, you had to stop goin to him for relationship advice and only talk to him for a good rant

even if y’all are real tight he won’t tell you about ur, until he goes to that moon island and the memories resurface for him, then he’ll tell you all about it

but he’s not a big sentimental guy so it’s a little hard for him but you’re glad to know he could trust you

when he catches feelings for you he denies it terribly, he could catch himself starin at you too long and he snaps his neck in the other direction with a quickness

and don’t let anyone mention it either because it becomes even more obvious

“what are you talking about?? me and y/n? nah we’re just friends…” he says while watching you laugh with your friends with a smile

refuses to ask anyone for advice, he hopes to suffer quietly and move on

he’s the type to confess on accident, probably during a quest and you almost get hurt really bad and he saves you, you try to brush it off n make a joke out of it and he gets mad at you for it

“you could have died back there y/n. do you have any idea how that would have affected us at the guild?! how it would affect me!?” he sighs before continuing “you drive me so damn crazy you know that? i can’t live without you.”

he indirectly confesses to you with that and y’all are basically dating

unsurprisingly he acts the exact same, the only thing that changes is the fact that if he teases you too much you can shut him up with a kiss and he’s always like “oh?”, he is very aware of his effect on you and will continue to annoy you for more kisses

when he strips down it’s way more annoying than when y’all were just friends because he teases you about it

“are y’a that crazy about me that you’re embarrassed y/n?”

a good hit upside the head will do the trick just fine though

he still won’t be able to open up about things easily though, after years of constantly trying to brush things off it doesn’t come naturally to him, but he appreciates that you’re there to listen

NATSU

this trope was made for him actually

as his friend he would always drag you along to do all kinds of shit, he drags you along on quests 24/7 and trusts you to watch his back

if he starts a fight in the guild he always comes over to you smiling like an idiot whether he won or lost, constantly asking if you saw the new move he did or how cool he looked doin it

he’s at your house more than his own, he lives to annoy you first thing in the morning, he swears it’s funny but it’s not so funny anymore when he gets rocked for playing too much

he talks to you about igneel from time to time when something reminds him of his father or when he thinks of him just cause and he always tells you that igneel would love you if the two of you would meet each other

he’s not shy about his feelings towards you, he’s kinda obvious about them but not obnoxiously obvious about it, it’s clear to everyone else but not you because that’s just how he is

he would be around you more but it wouldn’t feel new because he was already around 24/7, but he would become slightly more touchy like throwing his arm around your shoulders n junk

he compliments you more too

“hey y/n! lookin good!”

eventually, y’all start jokingly flirting with each other, it goes on for a good while until you catch feelings. you try to ease up on the flirting but he keeps going so you admit that the flirting is getting to you and admit that you can’t flirt with him anymore if it’s not real and he says

“wait i thought we were already dating?”

once y’all are official things are more clear between the two of you, he screams “fun dates” guy so he loves going to nearby fairs with you on dates

he loves eating the food there and having you try some of the food

nap dates could be his thing too, you would have to talk him into it because staying still for long periods of time aint his thing, but when he comes over and he’s really tired he just wordlessly drags you into your bedroom and collapses on you and falls asleep immediately, run your fingers through his hair he loves that

his kisses have playful energy to them, you can feel him smiling into the kiss and it’s the cutest thing ever

when he tells you about igneel it’s different from when y’all were just friends, he talks about you meeting him, and him showing you off to his father knowing that he would love you as much as he does

LOKE

y'all would be real close, when he was interested in he would tell you immediately which happened literally every day, he would be like

"hey you see that girl over there? i think I'm gonna go talk to her"

and you would never be able to talk him out of it either

but at the same time, he would keep certain things from you like him being a celestial spirit, he was planning to never tell you about it till his time was up, as he feels his time fading he's filled with regret, instead of telling you how he felt he just ignored his feelings with other women and in the end he wasn't even able to tell you that he loved you

when lucy makes a contract with him, she insists that he goes and confesses his feelings for you

"we all know loke, y/n might not have noticed but we see the way you look at her…and ironically you don’t see the way she looks at you either” his eyes widen, and lucy extends her hand to him “go get her”

his confession is the sweetest thing ever

with encouragement from lucy, he wasted no time running back to the guild, he almost tripped a couple times from the brute force of his start but he didn’t care he needed to see you. he burst into the guild hall out of breath “where is y/n?!” he shouted. the other guild members crowed around loke wondering what happened, asking him about his new look, and wondering why he ran out of the guild earlier “there’s no time for that dammit where is y/n?” cana spoke over the crowd “she’s on her way home to i would go get her now before she moves on if i were you!”

he started running once again by the time he found you, you were a few steps from your house before he shouted “y/n!!” causing you to stop in your tracks at the sound of his voice “loke?” he ran up to you and sweeped you into a hug, he hugged you so tight as if you were going to disappear “i won’t leave you like that again i promise.”

the two of you share a kiss and he tells you everything, he talks about him being a celestial spirit, he tells you ab the previous wizard he made a contract with and why he made up the identity “loke”

from there he tells you his real name, and every time you say it he gets butterflies

as for y’all’s relationship he’s often out of the celestial world hanging out with you on days he’s not on lucy’s schedule

out of respect for lucy y’all never have anything planned on the days he’s contracted, and out of respect she doesn’t call him when she knows y’all are busy, she is y’all’s biggest supporter

when he’s seen around the guild he’s normally seen with you close by, his arm will always be around you one way or another whether it’s your shoulder or waist it’s gonna be there

as the king of the zodiacs, he often calls you “my queen”

he seems like the beach date type, but not during the day during the night time so y’all can see the stars, he points out his constellation

“if there’s ever a time i’m not able to be with you the stars will always be by your side.”

[bengiyo]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

It seems @lurkingshan has begun the end of year listicle game. Time to shout out our faves.

Presented (mostly) in the order I watched them.

Favorite Blorbo of the Year: Dynamite in Cooking Crush

I love when a show reveals that someone who has been upbeat or strong is actually carrying a ton of pain. Learning about how Dynamite suffered so much because of his family touched me to my core, and forever solidified the friendship he has with Samsee and Prem.

Favorite Use of Visual Comedy: I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama

This show really had everything, and more than anything it had some of the best visual gags of the year. There is so much humor in the framing of scenes in this show. It was a genuine delight, and I'm so happy I'll get to see Aoyanagi Hajime again next year.

Favorite Facial Hair: Gu Jing in VIP Only

This show ended up rather flat, but damn do I think about this man's face sometimes.

Favorite Disappointment: Last Twilight

This show really could have been great if it didn't fuck up so badly.

Favorite Existential Crisis: Love For Love's Sake

The way this show telegraphed that it would be heavy, and then still managed to gut the audience, is one of the most impressive things I got to witness this year. I love that this show left people with so many different interpretations that don't contradict each other.

Favorite Use of Omegaverse: Tadaima, Okaeri

Yes, there were two BL omegaverse shows this year. No, I did not enjoy the other one. I was instead overinvested in the success of my gay dads and their kids every week. HIKARU IS OUR HERO!

Favorite Use of Food: She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2

I love this show with my whole being. If the Japanese don't figure out a way to get this cast to crossover with What Did You Eat Yesterday? honestly what is even the point of putting queer people on TV?

Favorite Reunion Romance: Perfect Propose

I really loved that this show was about two childhood friends both at the end of their ropes. I also loved the way this show used a questionable sexual encounter to jumpstart the dynamic. I'm so glad Hirokuni quit that nasty job, because this was so difficult to watch after having left a very difficult workplace.

Favorite Cast Dynamics: Ossan's Love Returns

"We are family!" In their 3rd or 4th outing, depending on how you want to look at it, I continue to be obsessed with Haruta, Kurosawa, Maki, and their extended network. I loved seeing Haruta and Maki working on their relationship, and I loved seeing them all grapple with the changes in their lives. I hope I never have to fight my in-laws in my kitchen.

Favorite Version of Tay Tawan: Cherry Magic Thailand

Tay Tawan was at his most charming as Karan. I'm so glad that Tay and New are able to work together again.

Favorite Version of Cherry Magic: The Cherry Magic Anime

Despite my opinion that Cherry Magic TH is the best version of Cherry Magic, I still think the anime is my favorite. The characters have an ugliness to them in this version that I really love.

Favorite Use of Yukata: Love is Better the Second Time Around

Despite my qualms with the final arc of this show, I still think about the way this show handled its second chance romance and especially the way it handled sex. Also, this show has a great visual gag in a woman who doesn't deserve this physically restraining a man from proposing to her.

Favorite Performances: The Cast of Unknown

I really think this is my favorite cast of the year. I really loved the way they all played together, and loved the handling of growing up in this show.

Favorite Use of a Mirror: Memory in the Letter

To be clear, I do not recommend this show. However, I was very impressed with all of the acting and technical work around the mirror in this show.

Favorite Show About Actors: At 25:00 in Akasaka

I really loved the way Niihara and Komagine played actors in this show. It's rare that a character withholding the truth of their feelings works out this well. This is one of the best things I watched this year.

Favorite Boy: Igarashi Daichi from Ossan no Pants ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka!

Not BL, but I love Daichi so much that he gets a shout out here. I love that he wasn't a manic pixie dream gay, that he was allowed to be angry, and that he was allowed to be imperfect. Daichi is now forever a part of my soul.

Favorite Rambutan Enjoyer: Venice in Marahuyo Project

Venice is so funny to me. I love that she's not the brightest one in the group, but she understands everything important. She protects Archie because she understands how hurt and scared he is. She accepts everyone who joins their group unquestioningly. She is eating in almost every scene. She is perfect.

Favorite Flirt: Vee in San's Dreams in Century of Love

I think we should let Offroad flirt with Daou more in future shows.

Favorite Narrative: Knock Knock, Boys!

This is favorite show from Thailand this year. I loved the use of every story in this show. The kindness pouring out of this show was really something special. I loved that this show never made fun of Almond for being a version, let Latte have positive relationships with his exes, let Thanwa dress like a normie, and treated Peak's closeted storyline with immense respect. I look forward to showing it to many more people.

Favorite Back: Mahasamut in Love Sea

I loved the way Fort played this man, and I love that we got another BL romantic lead that doesn't look dehydrated. More romantic leads should get to deck abusive fathers in BL.

Favorite Collector of Marbles: Takara in Takara no Vidro

A rare version of the Knowing blessed us this year in Takara. He was overwhelmed by Taishin's naivete, and I really loved seeing a character who absolutely knew who he was. I loved watching a character manage obsessive tendencies, and I loved how he spent much of the show holding back because he was afraid of himself. What a blessing these two were.

Favorite Use of a Workplace: The Trainee

I really loved that GMMTV used one of their best production houses to tell a story about interns in a production house. It was genuinely refreshing to see a workplace show from Thailand where everyone involved understood the work they were portraying. This was a really solid ensemble piece.

Favorite Homo: Shion in Twilight Out of Focus

I love this pink-haired boy. He was loud and competent. He was clear in what he wanted. He said plainly that he wanted a boyfriend, and HE WON. For everyone who got called slurs in their youth, Shion is for you.

Favorite Second Chance: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Hwang Da Seul was determined to get it right this time, and boy did she! This show did a wonderful job establishing the teen romance, justifying its separation, and earning its reunion. Best BL of the year.

Favorite Adaptation: Love in the Big City

Also not BL technically, but there's no way we make a list of shows form this year without acknowledging Nam Yoon Su's incredible performance as Go Yeong and the efforts of literally everyone involved in this show. If there's one show you need to watch this year, it's this one.

Favorite Angry Outburst: Qi Lu in Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I loved the way Qi Lu got mad about Qian Xiao holding back with him. It's the most I've enjoyed a character being wrong this year. It was the exact right response for a character like him. He knew who he was, what he was feeling, and that Qian Xiao was feeling it, too.

Favorite Cross-Cultural Exchange: Love in the Air: Koi no Yokon

We've had more than a few Thai adaptations of Japanese works. This is the first time MAME work crossed over to Japan, and it's been so cool seeing how much the Japanese team really loves Love in the Air. I feel no competition between the two adaptations of this novel, because it's clear that the Japanese show is a huge fan of the Thai show. It makes so many loving homages to the source work that it's clear this is a passion project for many people involved. It's so cool that we're now seeing Japan adapt Thai works, and I'm so excited to see where this takes us next.

Well, this was fun! Tag me with your list if you make one!

[tubbytarchia]

I feel it’s unjustified and extremely harsh for you to say that Wild Life has “the least tension or meaningful viewer retention or investment in the characters” and “did bare explorations of interesting themes” only because your faves didn’t get to have a narratively satisfying ending or moments. It’s valid to be disappointed about what happened to them/their arc and I get it since I’ve felt that way too about my fave in some of the seasons, but I never blame it on the season’s gimmick or the CCs because I know nothing is scripted and things happen spontaneously. I can’t expect things to go the way it could go or be stuck on it because it’d be unrealistic of me to assume that everyone’s characters will get a spotlight or character development or have their plans for the season fulfilled. While you’re 100% allowed to feel upset and even to list Wild Life as your least favourite, it’s unwarranted to say this season had barely anything to give when it had a fun gimmick, awesome wildcards, new alliances, funny moments and skirmishes, and arguably is the most narratively satisfying season for the winner to win at. I love that you acknowledged this season wasn’t for you, but making blanket statements like those is unnecessarily cruel to the work the CCs have put into their videos.

I didn't blame anything on the CCs either, and all I stated was my opinion. I go out of my way to disclaim that I'm expressing opinion because of responses like this and still I get faulted for "blanket statements" when I don't end every sentence with "in my opinion"

I didn't watch all the POVs but none of them had me invested through to the end personally, not just my favorites. There were a lot of funny moments, it had that in entertainment value, but what I seek from Life Series is the drama and tension first and comedy second, which I acknowledged that this series just may not be trying to cater to anymore, therefore it isn't catering to me, but I can still be sad about it

Of course I'm interested in the characters by default, especially Pearl after seeing her alliance, I really wanted to see where it would go. In the end much of nothing went anywhere for anyone. BigB had a really strong start and kind of fizzled out through no fault of his own, the BAMers were a very cute dynamic and interesting for their kill count alone but then all went kind of unceremoniously and didn't leave me with a lot of emotional attachment, and I feel similarly about Gem and Joel. Scar especially suffered struggling to achieve what he had set out to do since episode 2. The Gs had some very good moments for me to chew on regarding Pearl's and Cleo's dynamic and such but that was a small saving grace. Gem and Pearl didn't get past stage 1 of their dynamic. The idea of untrustworthiness was posed with BigB and Etho pretty strongly regarding the Gs and then they just kinda stopped caring. Team BET were kind of doing their own thing and that worked really well, narratively those guys ended up having me the most intrigued and they were among the least interest for me at the start. So many alliances were proposed in passing eg Ren with Jimmy, BigB and anyone, and then nothing narratively compelling came of them if anything at all

Again, I don't blame the CCs whatsoever for any of my failed enjoyment, but the gimmicks took center stage and interferred with the tension and drama instead of encouraging it like Secret Life, which I think did what it did really well in spite of already being very gimmicky, and I feel confident in placing my problem with the series there. This time around there was just no room to breathe for at least half the episodes, the finale especially when no one was doing much of anything other than walking around deducing the gimmicks and dying to them instead of to each other until they were quite literally forced to. And that hampered the aspect that I enjoy the most and have gotten out of every season before it, hence why my disappointment is so potent. And at least one of the CCs seems to feel similarly about the unsatisfying resolutions and failed developments

Yes the new alliances were cool, yes the player that won deserved the win, etc etc, all fine in a vacuum but I didn't see much chance for them to prosper and wish these alliances and this win were part of a different season. It's my opinion and if you disagree then that's absolutely ok, and I welcome your own opinions but please stop faulting me for it. I wish I could have enjoyed it but I don't get to just change my main draw for the series unfortunately

[beifong-brainrot]

While mostly find Kuvira a relatively straightforward character, I do love how the theme of rejection is just so ingrained into her character.

Of course we have Kuvira herself experiencing what many would call the cruellest rejection possible, being literally given away by her own biological parents.

Kuvira: [She angrily turns her head toward Korra as the shot cuts to a wide view.] Don't pretend you know what it felt like! [Wildly, waving her free arm.] The Avatar is adored by millions! I was cast aside by my own parents like I meant nothing to them.

We also see that, while Kuvira is invited with a lot of love by Su, who clearly is open to taking Kuvira into her family, Kuvira clearly didn't feel like part of the family. It isn't exactly concrete why this is the case. We can be certain that Opal, who was most likely working through her own issues surrounding not being a bender and feeling that Suyin is replacing her.

I know it's very easy to theorise that Kuvira was somehow isolated and ostracised from the Beifongs and while I can see this being the case, I haven't seen many people talk about just how avoidant Kuvira herself is.

I mean, Kuvira was horrifically rejected by the people she was meant to unconditionally trust and rely on. As a child who doesn't exactly understand why this is happening to her and that it wouldn't happen again, what better way to defend yourself if you reject them before they can reject you.

I think Bolin hit the nail on the head here. (When will we get a Bolin Kuvira argument i need it in my life)

Kuvira fears rejection. She struggles to form proper relationships, even her one intimate relationship with Baatar Jr had a certain amount of.... padding? If you know what I mean.

I don't doubt that Kuvira had a lot of affection for Baatar. I just think that she still kept a healthy dose of diatance in her relationship with him.

Her relationship with Baatar Jr is actually really fun. It sort of mirrors Kuvira's own childhood disillusionment with relationships.

Baatar also suffers a brutal rejection from someone. Kuvira, the woman he loved, and to some extent, for whom he abandoned all previous relationships tries to kill him. Directly after he pours his heart out to her and and restates his love for her. And now it's him isolating himself, particularly from Kuvira, even when she does try to reach out. (I do giggle at how much Kuvira gets consistently swerved in the comics)

The parasocial relationship Kuvira fosters with her Empire is also worth taking into consideration. Kuvira obviously is projecting her own childhood trauma onto the entire damn country which is my fave part of her character because who does that lol.

I've mentioned this in my comparison of the Earth Empire and Russia in the throes of Stalinism but I wouldn't be surprised if Kuvira cultivating a cult of personality to bolster her leadership is also her attempting to build connections that she deems "safe".

She holds the power in these relationships, she's basically a celebrity and if someone does step out of line, they are betraying not Kuvira, but the Nation. Postulating herself as an untouchable emperess also, once again, allows her a certain level of distance from others.

I'm not sure if Kuvira is aware she's perpetuating her own loneliness. I wanna say yes, because when she is alone, she acknowledges to herself that Suyin indeed was there for her and that she can rely on her. But she's so good at manipulating and gaslighting that she may have tricked herself fully into believing she's the victim, like she had with her warcrimes at the beginning of RotE.

All in all, I think Kuvira is a very interesting character if not one that is simply putting an slightly new spin on tried and true tropes. I will say I find it quite odd how many people take what she says without a second thought when she clearly has a vested interest in lying, but she is very charismatic and fun to analyse lol.

[altocat]

all 50 of those Honest fave character prompts for Sephiroth

( @izunias-meme-hole )

........*cracks knuckles* OKAY.

1. Do you project onto this character?

All the time, every day. Like Sephiroth, I can often be avoidant, depressed, and overly attached to my loved ones. The struggle is real lmao

2. Did you always like this character?

Before falling into fandom hell, I didn't really notice him much other than Kingdom Hearts stuff. Or the occasional thirst post online.

3. What first drew you to this character?

Crisis Core making him a sad soft baby that everyone is mean to lmao

4. Did you initially dislike/hate this character?

No. I always thought he had a cool design and a badass voice.

5. If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man?

Of course! Sephiroth is a fascinating character regardless. His backstory is very unique and I don't think that would change.

6. Do you have any nicknames or pet names you use for this character?

I mostly just call him Seph. Sometimes Kittyroth. Sometimes "Mr. Compassion" whenever I'm being sarcastic about him. And sometimes just SMUGFUCK because that's what he is.

7. Does the character’s age matter to you?

Nah. Like I said, he's a fascinating character regardless.

8. Does the character’s looks/design matter to you?

I feel like there are certain aspects of his character that you NEED to keep in--his catlike pupils, silver hair, etc. They are plot-related indicators of his heritage and genetics. Thirstposts aside, they are reminder that he is a lab-grown monster with alien blood running through his veins.

9. Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Not really. Seph is pretty unique. And honestly I'd rather not know someone like him irl lolol

10. Do you see yourself in this character even without projecting?

Physically? Hell no. Emotionally? Sometimes. But that's on rare occasions where we can actually tell what he's thinking and feeling.

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Watching Crisis Core cutscenes one rainy night in 2021.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

AU Redemption arc trilogy in which Zack and Aerith save Sephiroth from himself and he dismantles Shinra to become the planet's hero.

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character?

I'd really like to illustrate a lot of fic scenes. Especially the trippier Jenova-focused ones.

14. Are you physically attracted to this character?

...Yeah lmao But I don't ship myself or my self-insert with him because NO lolol I think he's aesthetically pleasing but I don't associate myself with him in any romantic sense. That's just weird to me.

15. Are your thoughts surrounding this character usually sexual, non-sexual, or a mix of both?

Non-sexual. I'm more interested in his character progression/fall into villainy. Like yeah he's attractive and there are some seductive aspects of his personality. But he's just more interesting to dissect as a villain.

16. Have you ever cried when thinking about this character? Genuinely?

Several times lolol usually after First Soldier updates.

17. Have you ever felt physical pain over this character? (ex: physical heartache).

Miiiight have happened once in dms with other fans (thanks @heraldofcrow)

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

SUFFER. SUFFERRRRRRR 😈NO COMFORT FOR YOU ALL IS PAIN AND ANGUISH.

19. Does this character serve as a stress ball/ security blanket for you? Something you run to after a bad day to feel safe or happier?

Oh totally. All the time. Imagine cute aggression but it's more angsty lol Angst aggression.

20. Do you feel affectionate towards this character?

For Sane!Sephiroth, yes. Very much so. Not so much after Nibelheim. Then he's just an evil little shit who needs to get clowned by Cloud again.

21. Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

Platonic-familial. He's my precious baby boy. Who I have to hurt. LET ME HURT HIM.

22. Do you think you will always love this character?

I hope so! Assuming Square doesn't do something stupid.

23. Has this character permanently altered or impacted your psyche in a way you won’t forget?

I'm HERE. lmao There's your evidence.

24. Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

I never have dreams about him and it makes me SO MAD SZDFGHFDSA EVERYONE ELSE GETS BLORBO DREAMS EXCEPT FOR ME.

25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not?

I mostly like character studies. Or slow-burn AU fics with him. I'm currently reading The Fear of Falling Stars and it's sooooo good.

26. If you look for this character’s name on AO3, what tags are you including or excluding?

It really depends on the fic tbh.

27. Do you like to ship this character with other characters or do you prefer not to?

I SHIP HIM WITH EVERYONE *feral noises*

28. Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

Only in select instances. I don't like the dudebro logic of "well Sephiroth was always arrogant/evil even before Nibelheim and he can't be vulnerable or sensitive because that's not badass" because those are fundamentally not true. And an extreme disservice to his writing.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

30. Are you especially sensitive about this character?

He makes me sad. His story is heartbreaking.

31. Are you ashamed of liking this character?

Nope. Not at all.

32. If you could make this character a meal, what would you make them?

Pumpkin soup, of course!

33. Are you “blinded by love” for this character or do you accept any flaws they may have?

Oh not at all. I have said many many times and will keep saying that Sephiroth does not deserve a happy ending after everything he's done. He deserves to be destroyed for good. He's NOT a good guy, not any more at least. He's caused so much damage in so many horrible ways. There's no going back from that. I love the guy and I feel for him. But that's still no excuse for what he did.

34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life?

Uhhhh no.

35. Has this character ever prevented you from sleeping because you can’t stop thinking about them?

@ me whenever First Soldier updates.

36. Do you feel a spiritual/soulmate connection with this character?

Idk. Probably not. He's my angsty trauma son. But I wouldn't go THAT far lol

37. Is your love for this character a secret from people you know in real life?

Nope. I will literally never shut up about Sephiroth to family or friends lololol

38. Do you tend to joke more about dying or killing for this character? Both? What causes the distinction?

NO because Sephiroth is a villain and the goal is to not become like him lolol

39. Do you feel lovesick over this character?

Nope. He just makes me casually distraught.

40. Are you very empathetic towards this character? When they feel a certain way in the story, do you feel those emotions too?

Very much so. Like I said before, his story is heartbreaking. I've ugly cried about him so many times in the past.

41. Do you prefer to interact with this character directly via self-insert/reader type content? Or do you enjoy seeing them mostly with other characters in the story and/or your OCs?

Other than background OCs, no. I prefer mostly just his relationship with canon characters.

42. If you could, would you write this character a song or poem?

It'd be cool to do something creepy with his relationship with Jenova...

43. What type of weather makes you think of this character?

Rainy days. Because he's depressing.

44. Which season makes you think of this character?

Fall.

45. Do you feel as if you are intimately familiar with this character?

At this point, I'd really like to hope so. They have certainly added a lot of new stuff that feels on point with my previous ideas for him. But I'm open to new stuff too!

46. How much do bad interpretations of this character upset you?

It really depends on how they characterize him as a person before Nibelheim. I don't really like how people sometimes equate his evil/smug/arrogant post-Nibelheim personality with his CC-era one. They're really completely different.

47. Does this character ever make you laugh sincerely?

He made some the FUNNIEST goddamn faces in Rebirth, just sayin'.

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

R trilogy has the best overall design. Hair, eyes, and the sheer SIZE of him. All perfect.

49. What’s your favorite personality trait in this character?

Sane!Seph: His love for his friends

Insane!Seph: Him being a huge petty dick just for the sake of it

50. Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

UHHHHHHHHHHH I'm just going to cheat and say THIS ENTIRE COMMUNITY because Seph-fans are BEST fans and we get along and get shit done. Best content. Best fandom space. No in-fighting or drama on his character. We're ALL peak 😎

[c0ffinrehearsal]

speaking of devouring fics where sirius' gender has been trans-ed, do you have any recs?? i know some people don't like to recommend fics so feel free to ignore if that's your vibe!

yes, i do have recs for this! here are a few off the top of my head, in no particular order:

honey sweet by @vajazzly

explicit - ft. city boy sirus who is down bad for the beekeeper with horrible fashion sense (but he’s good with this hands)

gathering home by @quietlemonhush

explicit - sirius raising regulus & harry after literally burning down his family home, remus is reg’s teacher. heavy themes but overall very funny & sweet & tender.

suffer for the people - orphan account

remus is regulus’s camp counselor, has lil bit of a meltdown and asks for his brother who comes to visit to calm him down. feelings occur. sooo cute & comforting, very fluffy.

our destiny in the stars - orphan account

explicit - remus is insecure about his (plus size, disabled) body and decides to try online dating where matches can’t see what the other person looks like. he meets sirius (trans, a teacher) and they uh - hit it off. this fic makes me smile so damn big. it’s just - it’s a classic, i’ve read it a million times.

whatever words i say - orphan account

sirius can’t stop acting out and it’s stressing out the rest of his band, so lily hires remus to keep an eye on him. obviously, they fall in love. a sweet lil band au.

a fool and his money - orphan account

explicit - chronically ill remus is roommates with regulus, meets his rich older brother and agrees to an arrangement: pretend to date sirius, show up with him to events - in exchange for money. y’all can guess where this is going and it’s so good. love a good sugar daddy/fake dating fic.

abyss by @titstraction

explicit - highschool au, remus & sirius are both on the track team and can’t seem to the same page. this fic is - so good. it’s very much a comfort read for me, but there are some heavy themes and transphobic jokes. this fic will hurt your feelings but it will also make you giggle and kick your feet and scream into your pillow.

have time to grow by queer_and_trashy

explicit - queer professor & amateur poet remus meets trans professional poet sirius - they try to get their shit together. hot & sweet and just, deeply deeply gay.

the entire rock n’ pole verse by @jennandblitz and fivepips

explicit - ace rock climber remus meets genderfluid dancer (mainly pole) sirius. this ‘verse is huge, there’s literally millions of words of it and y’all - i’ve read all of it. incredible ace representation, and overall just very sweet and sappy. mild angst, but everyone is in love & has a happy ending so don’t worry!

living like we’re renegades - orphan account

explicit - cheerleader sirius + journalist remus = everything i’ve ever wanted. i loooove this sirius so much they’re so gender.

the prettiest star ‘verse by raging_queer

tattoo artist sirius meets single dad remus - actually, sirius meets his child, teddy. sweet bonding with teddy looking up to Elder Queer sirius. very fluffy and comforting.

staying strangers by 3amandcounting

the texting fic, my fave of all-time. genderfluid sirius & demisexual remus. if there is one fic out there that will just make you want to open a window and yell about it to the other townsfolk - it’s this one. idek how to explain it, it’s just - it’s perfect.

also most of my fic features trans sirius, my masterlist is pinned!

disclaimer: this list is non-exhaustive, i know i’ve forgotten some, and i will be updating this tomorrow when i’m not half-asleep. and y’all, please reply with your fave trans sirius fics bc i want to read them all!!

[asitrita]

I am obsessed with the way you describe how manipulated France is when he is in a relationship with Spain. I would love to hear you talk more about this <3 (we need more of this).

Like, what toxic traits of France do you think make Spain be attracted to him? Some of the ways France makes Spain unable to ignore him in a personal relationship?

Please feel free to add more questions on this topic. Thank you for answering them for me 🫶🏻

To be honest I just like toxic relationships imao (not for me lol, I just like to see my faves suffering, and Francis is the perfect demon to bring Toni a piece of hell).

However, if I had to choose a toxic trait Francis has (one of the many 👀) that is actually alluring to Antonio that would be controlling. I imagine Francis to be this type of person who wants, needs, to be in control, always. It may be a product of his huge ego and need for constant validation, he loves being the centre of attention and most definitely considers himself above most... Countries? All these traits result in a desire for control as well, and that is what I think Antonio would find kind of attractive. Or maybe not attractive, but beneficial. This is because I imagine that Antonio, as he became the first global empire ever in the early 16th cent. and one of the superpowers at the time for a handful of centuries, was always expected to be in control of everything. He had too many responsibilities, the weight of expectations was too heavy on his shoulders, and the fear of other powers overcoming him and subduing him was too strong, so he always felt the need to control absolutely everything, even the smallest detail (tbh, I think I already said it in a previous post, I imagine young adult Antonio to be a bit... Paranoid, during his time as an empire). So while I imagine Antonio would clash against France, for they are both very controlling people, the motivations for the control they exerted on others were very different. For Antonio it was most usually a matter of survival and accomplishment of his own goals as a nation. Everything needs to be perfect, all the pieces must be in the right places for everything to work out just fine (not to say he never used his controlling nature for more personal matters, but this scenario didn't happen too often). For Francis, however, it was a way to feed his ego, a matter of pride, a way to show his power and influence on others. And thus, I think this worked perfectly for Antonio, because Antonio, as controlling as he was, resented that part of him that needed to be in control of absolutely everything, he wanted to let loose, he was just not allowed to (not as a country, and not even as a person, as paranoid as he was about what could happen if something didn't go according to plan and other country got the upper hand on him). With Francis, he could freely get loose. Or he could pass tense, he became incredibly dangerous over the centuries, but he wasn't so much a danger in the past when the two got along just fine. But he is used to Francis, he is used to get himself go with him, because he knows Francis will be there to pick him up. And of course he will, the control freak he is, he is just waiting for Antonio to give up just a tiny piece of string so he can hold it instead, and is happy to do so whenever Antonio decides to play puppet with him. Both are control freaks, but while Francis takes pride on that side of him, Antonio resents it, so he willingly gives it up to Francis, and Francis is ecstatic with the idea of gaining all control, or better yet, being given all control.

This is probably one of Francis worst traits, and it is however one that is very alluring to Antonio, because it is a way of purifying himself, giving a part of himself that he abhors to a demon that desires it. That, and probably, when Francis control becomes too suffocating, he sees it as a way to expiate his sins and guilt, a torment to redemption. Losing all control about his very being, a fitting punishment for someone as controlling as he is. And from the other end, Francis definitely revels in it.

This was too long, and I'm not sure I made any sense at all. Lol

[starryskiesahead]

So…

I may have just found a new anime to obsess over.

Yep. The Case Study of Vanitas is easily one of my new favorites.

My goodness, I don’t ever think I’ve fallen in love with a piece of media this fast. From the first episode, I adored every second, every minute of it. I fell in love with the animation/visuals, the music, the character dynamics, the worldbuilding and lore, the story…I’m just so invested in it and love it absolutely. Noé and Vanitas have an absolutely amazing dynamic and their relationship is one of my favorites that I’ve ever seen. They have easily earned their spot in my Top 5 fictional faves.

Parts of it actually kinda surprised me? For one thing, it's a lot more comedic than I expected. Like I mean. A lot of times it gets dark and fucked up bc all the characters are traumatized and have their own tragic backstories that are made of their trauma and suffering. But it's also not all serious and grim all the time like I initially thought it would be based on my initial assumption. There's a lot of cute, comedic chibi moments (iconic tbh), which I didn't expect from this anime. Also the OP, which I expected to be chock-full of darkness and blood and symbolism and motifs and action and angsty visuals, is essentially VaniNoe going on a date.

In that aspect it's completely different from what I expected but also not too far off from what I've expected, a guy and his soulma-er, partner going on dark fantasy adventures around 19th-century-steampunk France. I really like the concept of Vanitas being a doctor curing the curses that corrupt vampires' true names into malnomens, turning them into forms like monsters - when he pulls out The Book of Vanitas and activates the magic grimoire, it sends a flurry of beautiful, sparkling magical constellations to purify the afflicted like he's a magical girl in a mahou shoujo anime using her special attack to save the day from the monster of the week.

ALSO also... holy shit never before have I shipped ANY fictional pairing as hard as I’ve shipped Vanitas and Noe. I don’t even ship hard 99% of the time AT ALL, the closest was two of my OCs, who are my own original characters so they don't count.

BUT THESE TWO?

THEY’RE JUST SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND AWESOME TOGETHER AND WHY THE HELL AREN’T THE TWO OF THEM KISSING YET?!

like.

I mean I get that Vanitas x Jeanne is canon (don’t care for the ship that much, but I can accept it I guess though I’ll never be super into it) and Noé could have a thing with Domi, but honestly? They’ll never hit the way Vanoé does for me. Even if they never become canon in the end, their relationship, while not necessarily romantic, is nonetheless a dynamic I treasure and the way their personalities play off of each other is my favorite part of the series.

(And even if you disagree with me and don’t see the romance you can’t argue that their relationship certainly did come off that way to a good deal of the fandom, judging by all the Vanoe content I’ve seen. Honestly with the dancing scene, the way they look at each other and are super pretty in each other’s POV, the fact Noé wants a taste of Vanitas’ blood so much when blood-drinking is usually framed as a sexual thing in this series, the first ending song being them reaching out to each other while lyrics like “you made me whole” play in the background….yeah I think someone has to definitely know what they’re doing at this point, right?)

This anime was a blast from start to finish. I was instantly entranced, enthralled, enchanted by it, and I simply can’t get enough, so I ended up binge-reading the entire manga in one day. And I loved and adored it as well! The cover art with all the watercolors is so *chefs kiss* stunning, lovely and beautiful and the mangaka did amazing with it. So talented, wtf?

Love it! 💙🩵💜💖

I do have some criticisms such as I feel the story (mostly in season 1, I feel like it got better around season 2) is kind of…jumping around between plots a bit? I was expecting the main conflict to just be. The problem of cursebearers that Vanitas and Noé mostly go around curing, with a few extra shenanigans here and there. Like the whole thing with Roland and the Chasseurs and the whole encounter at Dr. Moreau’s lab felt like it was a bit rushed or resolved kinda quickly for my tastes? and the ending of S1 with the encounter between Lord Ruthven and Noe right about as we’re about to begin the Gévaudan arc, and just an episode after Jeanne and Vanitas’ little date…And like I mentioned before, I don’t really care for this pairing - though I like both of them as individual characters, and I can accept that this is canon, but I don’t particularly have too much investment in the ship. No hate to anyone who likes it though. And well it’s important enough to the story to not be really ignored, it’s also kinda just. Okay. They like each other. At least it’s a subplot and there’s other things going on, so for me I don’t have to be too into VaniJeanne as a pairing to enjoy the story. Also I’m personally really not fond of the fact both of the times they kiss were forced on each other. But that’s just my two cents. (Toss in Noé and Dominique into the equation and the shipping/romance love square does get more messy/complex, though like I said, I’m glad it’s not a constant will-they-won’t-they love drama thing all the time (no hate to ppl who like it, but not personally fond of those). Relationships are definitely a very important part of this series, and that includes the romance stuff but at least to me it doesn't feel like constant dragged out melodrama all the time.) Also I lowkey do wish Jeanne and Domi got more chance to shine in the first season outside of their connection with the guys. They do get good character development in season 2, and though a good amount of said development does seem to be pretty linked with their relationships with Vanitas and Noé respectively, I can forgive it as after all, the relationships and dynamics are an important part of this series and at least they have entertaining, fun, and likable personalities and their own backstories and lore outside of just being "the girls who are there to be the guys' love interests".

Honestly the pacing to me feels much better in the manga than in the anime - idk if it’s the different format and the fact that I can read it at my own pace, but it just feels less fast and easier to understand. I know for the anime some people found it a bit confusing, and while I partially agree/can see it on some parts it’s not THAT confusing for me and I can still understand the plot okay. But that being said, I think the manga is a bit better at this and in some ways, easier to follow than the anime.

Also, while I love the chibi comedy moments, I feel like sometimes they can be a bit overused from time to time? Especially when it's shortly after a mostly serious moment, it kinda throws me off. The truly serious, dark moments, focusing more on the characters' backstories and trauma, at least don't get interrupted randomly by the chibis, but still it does feel a little jarring when the style randomly switches.

That being said, the problems or flaws this series has/my criticisms don't really take away my enjoyment at all, and I still loved and enjoyed the experience as a whole even when there were somethings I wasn't too keen on , so I can honestly still say that it was such a wonderful, magnificent experience for me. I do hope there'll be Season 3, but I think there's not enough manga chapters to adapt into the anime and the author is on hiatus I believe. Either was, this series has sunk its fangs into me and won't let go, and I look forward to seeing it the whole way through and being there for this journey, beginning to end, I am TOTALLY hooked.

I'm totally along for the ride, and until then, will be looking at all the fabulous Vanitas and Noé art by all the amazingly talented artists out there (keep up your good work, love you!)

(Also Noé might now be my #2 favorite character of all time, up there with Arlo from Number Days. Yes, he's simply that powerful.)

[divatakesontruth]

hi diva, why does it seem so hard? all of this. i see a lot of the bloggers i follow say that their path was effortless and did not take time. I read countless posts & the entirety of 'being is it''s blog (you know how long it is).

i am exhausted.

when i do self enquiry, it gets better for some time. I see that there is only awareness but then it is only temporary. i go back to taking my experience seriously. heck, i feel like reality is SO real eventhough intellectually i understand everything.

I dont want to whine but i am genuinely so confused as to why everything still feels real to me even after noticing my experience. why i feel exhausted and feel like i have to put effort into noticing. why even the seeming progress i make disappears. See, i tell myself that there is no progress or path or realisation, only the appearance of one - all is a play in THAT.. And this is it. But why dont i KNOW it yet. Why do i still know my experiences as real even when i understand that they are not?

I am gonna send this to my two fave bloggers lol (u & clo) i even feel bad sending you this because you both have already said so much & repeat yourself like broken recorders but i genuinely dont know what to do...

First of all, I need you to calm down

As complex and intense as all of this feels, it’s all no-thing (nothing) ,they’re all just baseless appearances

That being said, you mentioned you see that all is awareness and then that knowing is only temporary

Well then you must also know that that temporality is also a form of awareness (Even you seemingly seeing all is awareness is an appearance,a concept, an idea)

It might seem that nothing is right, and you’re confused and tired or whatever, but that is not the actuality. No, those are EMPTY,let them be

Even the feeling that you can’t let them be, or that they feel too much to handle, it’s all empty

It’s another play of awareness, it’s all absolute unreality

Like in a play, you might be watching an extremely sad , or frustrating film and of course feelings of sadness and frustration will arise but are the contents of the play actual reality?

There is a seeming plotline at play and a seeming ‘you’ participating in it, but if it’s all just part of the play,why exactly are you bothered by it?

It is natural for feelings to arise as is everything else (seemingly natural) in reaction to the plotline but even that too is unreal! Do you see the insignificance of everything?? Play = unreal, reaction to play= unreal, something called a reaction to something called a play =UNREAL

It’s ALL NOTHING

Let me tell you something, yesterday was a horrible day for me and I sobbed like there was no tomorrow, but I knew all this was just Self at play, I didn’t stop myself from crying, I didn’t get more sad because I wasn’t ‘serene’ and ‘unbothered’ .absolutely not

That is rubbish

‘You’ need not worry about the contents of experience, it is all absolutely untrue

Your feelings of sadness, confusion, tiredness, getting periodic ‘aha’ moments, feeling desire, feeling no desire , being a HUMAN, getting all you desire etc

These are ALL baseless, empty appearances

As is any doubt or question that might come up as you read this

Don’t take it all seriously my love, watch, participate, enjoy the happiness,suffering,ecstasy,weirdness,complexity of all seeming experience.

[signanothername]

Your comices always make me feel so many things, it's really ashame that I can not put them into the right words, just to show you how must yuor creations mean to me So let me just say thank you, I am sure that I already said that before, and that I will do so in the future, but really, thank you for makeing all this and shareing it with us I love how every comic is linked to each other, making a big story out of so many smol ones, I love the relationships between the characters, how they grow thru every one of the comices and how many detiles you put into the comices! You are a great artist, and really thank you for creating all this Only thing that I struggle with, is the fact that it's sometimes hart to read what the characters say 'cuz some letters marge into another or are so smol esgbdsgafdbagdfagfd

HSHSHHSHSH OOOH MY DAMN HEART THANK YOUUUUU 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🌷🌷🌷✨✨✨✨✨

I genuinely am happy to know you love the work i do, i try my best when it comes to my stories and seeing people connect with them and the way i write my fave characters genuinely makes me really happy <33333333

And no that’s actually a very valid criticism, i’m actually fully aware that my handwriting isn’t the easiest to read, both cause I tend to write really fast that the letters start getting blurry with each other and cause I can’t for the life of me write like a normal person and my writing tends to be a bit italicized xhhxhxhhx

That’s why i’m happy to say you won’t have to suffer anymore, cause @byrdblood provided me with an amazing website that turns handwriting into a font, very handy and I actually did finish making my handwriting into a font

So my comics should be a lot easier to read moving forward >:)

My handwriting still looks bad but at least it’s a lot more legible bdhxhdhhd (and I won’t have to write it myself anymore thank fuck cause that was hell it took so much time and energy dhhdhdhhd)

[itssoinevitable]

acgas season 5 rant

well I must say it’s been some time since I wrote a tumblr essay but I think this one has been building all season. in fact, it will likely be part one of (?) because there are many feelings that need to screamed into the void. let me preface by saying that I am not a “hater” by any means, because I absolutely and unabashedly love this show and it pains me so much to criticise it, instead of celebrate on cloud nine like I usually would be after the finale. I ranked it higher than downton abbey the early seasons, which is a massive compliment for anyone that knows me. and I repeatedly told others not to worry bc it’s the show that keeps on giving and that I trusted these writers implicitly with our beloved characters.

so yes, it royally sucks that I have to eat my words, and that acgas season 5 did not bring what it should have brought. and it also sucks that this is only part one of my rant (for you and me both). if you loved s5, then I am really happy you did, and please don’t read on bc I don’t want to taint your experience. if you hated it but don’t know why, or bc misery loves company, pls read on. spoilers ahead, obv. 

1. episode structure

yes so — structure wise, it was a hot mess. I can definitely see what they were going for, in that they gave the limelight to a pair of characters every episode, and thought it would be fine like modern family style episodes. except, another spoiler alert: it was not fine at all, unless your faves are the featured couple for said episode. I would do an episode by episode breakdown but @owlsiehoot already did that. suffice to say, it is not the kind of show where you can enjoy 40 odd minutes when it’s not “your” characters’ turn to shine. they have nearly an ensemble cast, but chose not to treat it like an ensemble show. and while I can see what they were trying to avoid, the chosen execution method was far far worse imo. (we may never know the real reason for this change, but I hate whoever greenlit this decision).

even if they wanted to keep the longer scene structure, fine, maybe it could have worked. but if I could have recommended one change in the writing room, it would have been to split the main cast into threes every episode, instead of pairs. that would resemble the formula a bit more like the prev seasons, and would’ve given much more interesting and diverse back and forths to play off of and keep more general balance. some ways the dynamics could have been done:

Tris & Carmody were fine in ep 4, but keep it in skeldale more and add Mrs Hall into the mix to mother them, even better. (reminding the audience she has a biological son too, and not just these surrogate dumbasses whom she loves would have been a bonus.)

Helen & James are always lovely together, but add Tris in there for some mischief or more Jenny and Heston Grange for some sisterly bonding. 

Tris & Siegfried were cute too, but again they were away from the house, and usually Audrey was right in there with them and added something to all their interactions. 

Alternatively, give the ladies something to do and put Audrey, Helen and Mrs Pumphrey together again. (I will say though, at least Mrs P had more to do this season). 

Where the show suffered most was giving Carmody two stand-out episodes tbh, when in reality, they only had time for one.

2. tone

not only did the previous seasons have an amazing balance of all characters, they also managed to balance the darker story threads with lighthearted humour in an inimitable way. usually three concurrent storylines, two being more serious, and one more lighthearted to break it up. some episodes of course, were more lighthearted than others. but season 5 seems to have turned that on its head because almost all storylines were quite silly?? I respect there has always been a certain amount of physical humour, but it seems now that the gags have now replaced actual plots and meaningful character development. this is not a sitcom after all, unless they’re trying to change genre at the nth hour. notable exceptions include Bingo’s storyline ofc, and Candy & Joan (both which were early in the season btw) and James’ war and brucellosis experience right at the end. the middle was mostly twaddle if you ask me.

which reminds me: overall, the animal storylines seem to have become something of a joke too. the animals used to mean a lot more to their clients before, and the vets used to show them a great deal more love and respect. contrast to this season, many vetting scenes feel almost cavalier. the poor dog with the phantom pregnancy was played for laughs, which I don’t think it would have been in prev seasons. the horse that fell down after the injection, had no greater mystery to solve. Siegfried and Tristan barely seemed to care, and chalked it up to shock. it is quite unforgivable to me, as their great reverence for the animals was one of the things I love(d) about this show. 

imo a few subtle changes could have elevated many of the stories to their usual form. I gave an example on discord, but I’ll repeat it here. it’s episode 5, and picture Bosworth coming into Skeldale the same was as he did in canon, asking Audrey to come out to investigate a potential bomb. everything could have remained the same except that Audrey could have told the others where she was off to, and Siegfried or Tristan maybe asked her not to go. the whole family would have gathered together for a moment, expressed their fear for her and she would have said it’s her duty to go and check anyway. in this version, we would have felt the tension and the stakes, and it would be a looming threat of the war finally touching Darrowby. the end would also be the same, a false alarm and nothing more but the emotional impact of the episode would have increased tenfold.

and to me, the worst part of it all is that the season actually started off so promising. the first two/ three episodes, combined with the interviews by the cast, it honestly felt like they were exploring some very interesting things. but they dangled the carrot, only not to deliver imho. 

it seemed that Tristan was hiding something painful under his playful exterior, eventually to be teased out, but apparently he really came back from war completely trauma-free.

I was under the impression that Siegfried was supposed to have an identity crisis, where he was feeling left behind, but it didn’t seem to pan out properly either.

Audrey was supposed to be overworked, right? but we didn’t see her actually buckle under the strain of her many, many duties because she’s basically superwoman I guess?

James had this beautiful connection with Banerjee, only for him to be alive but never show up again I guess? really thought James would bring him to Mrs P’s convalescent home but guess not.

3. characters

and here is the crux of it, the beating heart of the show which is now bleeding out. because a truly good show is character-driven, and unfortunately I cannot say that was true for season 5. a glaring deus ex machina comes to mind, when the doorknob fell off in episode 4, trapping Tris and Carmody in a room. never thought the show would stoop to these cliched tropes tbh and it truly disappointed me.

not only did the episode structures do the characters a great disservice, but it seems to have foiled the overall season story arc too for each character throughline. to me, it looked as if the only two people with clear defined story arcs were James with his war trauma, and Carmody (my beloved). was it Sam West who said the characters seemed “busy” this season? bc yes, it’s accurate. but not in a good way. mostly they all had only things to do on the surface, but there was very little going on underneath. which is a crying shame because basically, characters have to suffer a little to grow and be interesting. they need to face challenges and grow and change. let’s do some compare & contrast:

Tristan changed and grew in every season, from 1 to 3 and faced many internal (and external) obstacles to becoming his best self, whether it was by being more studious or responsible and mature in his work and personal life. Now he’s back and we’re supposed to think… what? That he’s already his best self, I suppose.

season 4 Siegfried was holding his found family together, trying to cope with the workload and missing Tristan, worrying about James, terrified that Audrey was going to leave. contrast to s5, and Siegfried is… being adorable with baby Jimmy, and attracted to a goat heiress? if there was something deeper here, please let me know bc I must have missed it.

while last season, Helen was looking forward to starting a family, and then working on keeping her baby healthy and her family (James) intact despite the war. s5 Helen started off strong, struggling with balancing being a mother and big sister to Jenny, but now… she’s what? planting too many strawberries in the victory garden? being a supportive wife to James is important, but it cannot be her only feature. 

and last but definitely not least, Audrey in s4 was learning what a life outside her marriage to Robert could truly mean for her, and figuring out for herself where she belongs. conversely, s5has her making jam, and finding non-explosive tinned potatoes. yes she’s a warden, but what is she feeling on the inside?

4. conclusion — an empty vessel

to summarise this not-epic epic is that my true grouse with this season is its utter emptiness. it is truly a season where nothing happened and nobody really changed. okay, some things were different — e.g. Siegfried being better with handling his “boys”, and being more open and less grumbly in general. or Tristan being more responsible with his work, and standing his ground more firmly. but imo those were the results of previous season’s changes. within the course of s5, they did not do much growing or changing.

Tristan’s homecoming episode comes to mind the most. so many missed opportunities for deeper to surface — James being torn between treating a patient and possibly missing his son’s christening would have added some true to character dissonance. Helen leaning on Audrey for support when she had issues with her mother-in-law, could have worked beautifully and explored the character foils in an interesting way. James and Helen asking Siegfried and Audrey to be Jimmy’s godparents would have been truly touching and a testament to how deep their familial bonds are.

anyway, TL;DR I guess? maybe it’s because they’re saving most of the juicy stuff for season 6, but it mostly felt like a filler season, and if you looked forward to it all year just to get that then it’s truly anti-climactic. with all that said now, onwards and outwards. we shall see was the CS brings.

[artemis-73]

Suptober Day 14: Fave Episode

"…I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing," Dean says, heartbroken eyes glimmering with tears.

Chuck hits pause. The shot holds on a closeup of Dean, so obviously changed by everything he's lost. With a thought, the lights in the movie theatre raise. "A perfect ending to the episode, right? All of Dean's angst and pain and suffering stewing in what was once a hopeful, bright-eyed and bushytailed kid. Him needing to lean on Sam. You love that, right?"

Becky hasn't moved. She's staring up at the screen with tears in her eyes. She looks back at Chuck. "What… No! What happens next? Does Cas come back? Does Mary?"

There's satisfaction in knowing that she's hooked on the story, even if she's being a little pushier than he'd like and is focused on all the wrong things. "Who cares? Mary's resurrection was Amara's failed experiment. I love my sister, but she's got no instinct for what makes a good story. And Cas? Cas should've been gone years ago. It's time for Dean to get over it. He's in the Empty, which is where he'll stay. Think of it as the cutting room floor. I can't see them; they can't see me. Come on. Let's focus on what matters: Lucifer's kid, huh? That's a fun villain."

Becky swipes at her eyes with shaking hands. "Jack?" she asks. "He's just a kid. He hasn't done anything wrong. He seems to really care about Cas, too. Maybe he can help Sam and Dean get Cas back."

"Enough about Cas!" The lights flicker, and the theater shakes. Chuck wishes he could find anyone else to be a part of his focus group, but Becky's the only one he can trust with all the lore. Sure, he doesn't always listen, but he has to know the rules before he can break them. "Now, Cas is gone for good. So let's talk about my outline for the rest of the season—"

"Wait," Becky interrupts, always so inconsiderate. "There's still a minute left in the episode."

Chuck whirls to face the screen. His little outburst must have jolted the electrical because below Dean's devastated face is the scrub bar with the episode length. It should only have a couple of seconds left, after all, there's no need for credits during a private screening with the Creator. Chuck is sure that when he cut the episode together, this was the last shot he chose.

But there's a still a minute and change left.

He scrambles for the remote. He has to know, even though he dreads what comes next. It has to be Amara. It has to be.

Dean's face twitches into action as he breaths raggedly for another second. Then it cuts to a shot of Castiel lying in a field. A familiar field.

"No, no, no, NO! I cut the meadow. I cut Dean spreading his ashes, and I cut Castiel."

Castiel stands in the sun, his smiling face tilted toward the sun, and then the episode ends, and the screen goes black. In the silence that follows, Chuck seethes. Bringing Cas back from the Empty would've taken some serious mojo. More than anyone but Amara has, but Amara doesn't care about the angel. She doesn't care about Dean, really. She wouldn't intervene. Maybe to spite—

"Jack," he breathes. He remembers the last episode when Jack overheard Sam and Dean's big knockdown drag out, and his eyes had glowed golden, and he'd said Castiel's name right before the episode ended. "It's impossible. He can't be that powerful already."

"Wait, so Jack saved his dad?" Becky is beaming because she has no taste.

"Shut up." Chuck snaps his fingers and sends her back to her boring life. He'll need to work through a couple drafts before bringing her back. He'd hoped for more time to pick her brain before wiping it again, but he has so much work to do.

Step One: Get rid of Jack.

Step Two: Get rid of Castiel.