#as if there arent already 9 stores nearby

[mandizo]

found out the 麻辣香锅 (a sort of stir fried hot pot) store near my school closed down today. devastating. worst day of my life

[satoruhour]

What do you think about gojo begging reader for a duck lmao? Maybe he wants kids but reader thinks 20 is too young so now he really wants a duck?

a/n: anon u so fuckin real for this, enjoy !!!! had lots of fun writing this / tagging my gojo luvers @jabamin @hyomagiri @crysugu @satohruu

yeah. yeah he would.

would be so eager about it too, like arent you fathering megumi and tsumiki ??? dude

my hc is that yes he took them in around 18 and you were already together with him and getting used to taking care of the two kids

but he would randomly get baby fever while seeing you be so caring and loving to the two, and not to mention for the first two years megumi usually stuck by you LMAOOO

tsumiki warms up to gojo more or less but theres still some barrier between gojo and the kids

so one day while youre both waiting for megumi and tsumiki at their school two years later he randomly announces in his annoying voice that “we should make a baby!!!!”

god the faces of all the parents waiting together with them 😭😭😭 and it’s so funny too cause it’s implied in S1 the siblings walk home together without a guardian and they would do perfectly fine without the two of you.

and bc of megumi’s usual embarrassment of gojo (and sometimes you) he tells you two to stay home cause he knows where you guys live but gojo just HAD to bring you here today bc he finished a mission nearby (lies. his fav kikufuku store opened an outlet near the school) and whats wrong with wanting to see the kids ya know

but anyway you seized his arm and slapped it just as the kids were coming out and shoved him so hard he almost fell. he fake cried that night in your arms and megumi made sure to ban you both from visiting both their schools ever again (it was right next to each other)

it doesnt seem to affect gojo much however until megumi brings home a consent slip for a farm excursion and hes like sure! he goes on the website of the farm and gets a splendid idea

well, splendid by his standards, but terrible by yours

[9:50am, delivered]: satoru i almost couldn’t find ur contact why did u change it 😭😭😭

[9:56am, satoru the bestest and coolest 🩵]: DAMN? why ??? curse me for wanting a cute name on my baby’s phone.

you literally saved me as “gojo satoru”

[9:57am, delivered]: bc thats literally ur name u fucking loser ????? 

[9:59am, satoru the bestest and coolest 🩵]: photo attached

[10:01am, delivered]: you went finding for that pic didnt you 

you’re so engrossed in the conversation (or rather, you making fun of him), pausing so intently that the person behind you has to ask you to move so you can order some damn mochi for your sweets-obsessed boyfriend. but before you can open your mouth to tell the cashier what you wanted, there’s another text that comes in and you’re torn between confusion and incredulity.

[10:01am, satoru the bestest and coolest 🩵]: also can we get a duck

[10:02am, satoru the bestest and coolest 🩵]: and NO i dont mean a fuck you dirty girl muhahah i know you thought that

eh, well, maybe you did.

[10:02am, satoru the bestest and coolest 🩵]: please pleasp eeplelasepplea

and also, you think that maybe you didn’t really want to buy kikufuku for your boyfriend anymore.

gojo is elated later when you hand him the bag of mochi from his favourite store, him still following you around like a puppy, looking almost comical with his tall figure crouching so low.

“so?”

“we are not getting a duck, satoru,” you sigh with your hands on your hips because when gojo begs like that it’s just so adorable, but the other doesn’t let up, using his blue-eyed charm on you and you hate to admit that it’s working — except maybe you would give in if it was a cat or a dog or even a hamster.

“a duck?”

gojo shoots up immediately and you’re reminded of his impending height compared to yours, “yes!”

“no!”

your boyfriend pouts again and reverts to his submission-to-you pose as tsumiki likes to call it, “pleaseee?”

you make a big dramatic out of thinking, “hm, get on your knees.”

gojo’s surprised but he does it without a second thought and you’re taken aback just a little at his obedience. if this was the way to get him to properly wash the kids’ clothes or to clean up after eating in the messiest way known to man, you’d get him to do it all the time, but you’re snapped out of your little realisation when megumi opens the door, tsumiki next to him giggling non-stop — the excursion bus probably had dropped them off on the front porch.

“what’s going on?” you’d think it was the other way round: the two siblings being the responsible adults whilst you two were acting like kids, especially with the way megumi asks the question. gojo isn’t phased.

“trying to convince your surrogate mother here,” gojo nudges his head toward you with a slight scowl on his face, “to get us a duck.” your hand lands a smack against the back of his neck.

megumi pulls a face and tsumiki only laughs even more and starts to nudge megumi with choked laughter, seeing his hands start to form a sign: his rabbit, no, divine dogs shikigami—

four ducks start materialising from shadows, crowding around the two of you and bombarding you with both quacks and playful nips on your skin and your temporary anger with your boyfriend fades, focusing on the seemingly happy faces of the ducks and the way they waddle. you’re stuck in between laughter and the softness of their feathers until—

“oh, this is their natural state, but they turn into angry, sorta scary geese on command too, although i haven’t really gotten the hang on it—”

gojo’s eyes widen, “megs, no!”

needless to say, megumi sits a little sheepishly later as he watches gojo clean up your scratches and mild wounds, getting a well-deserved (light) lecture and a kiss on the forehead later from you for discovering a new shikigami during movie night, gaining a little smile from gojo as he cuddles a sleeping tsumiki closer.

[midnightmoonkiss]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Masturbation Hc’s

Characters:  Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shōto

WARNINGS!: NSFW 

Heh.. i lied.. when i said i’d never do nsfw...

I’m a fool. A fool, I say.

College au even tho its never really mentioned ! Tho tbh i honestly think ua shoulda been a college either way smh

Also I got too carried away with Izuku’s, so Shōtos is shorter-

Midoriya Izuku

First of all, he’s a big boi

Quite possibly owns one of the biggest dicks in class

6.5in when flaccid, but roughly 7.8in when fully erect - impressive!

Not only is he huge, but he’s honestly so adorable. Curves upwards towards the left a bit and gets super flushed!

He oozes quite a bit of precum, but it honestly works out in his favor since it helps him slick his hand up and down the shaft - not a good solution but still better than spit if he’s in a pinch!

Circumcised!

Midoriya doesn’t typically masturbate as much as one would expect from someone his age, maybe two or three times a month, depending on how stressed out he is. Either way, he’d much rather take a bubble bath than jerk his meat. Though, some nights he wakes up from an intense.. dream.. legs and boxers covered in goop.

Its really embarrassing to him, though it does theoretically help his confidence in himself a bit - especially with the thought of what he could do to you and how easily he thinks he could make you cum, which he probably could. This man does his research!

Porn. A shit ton of porn. Someone clear his browser history ffs.

Most of the time its the little things that get him too worked up, perhaps your hand simply rested on his upper thigh, but the gesture already is too much for his overactive mind to handle

Hes a horny little shit who’s not used to being touched

Most of the time he’s got enough control to make it through classes without having to take drastic actions,

but sometimes a mans gotta lose his dignity in a bathroom stall, one hand slapped over his mouth to muffle his high pitched whines and moans, other hand wrapped around his throbbing cock as his hips thrust and hand moves up and down as he desperately searches for a quick release (see! This is where that ‘pinch’ before mentioned comes in!) so his bathroom break doesnt seem suspiciously long

How lewd and mortifying, but is it bad he likes the idea of potentially being caught? Not by himself, if course, but with you riding him on the seat. The wet slaps would echo throughout the restroom, notifying all who enter just what’s happening and that someone is getting what they so desperately wish they could.. well, what he also wishes he could get

He’s a bit.. possessive, even though you aren’t quite his yet

Though, if he can make it back to the dorms, he often times even forgets about the encounter and just goes on doing his homework or workout session.

Late at night when hes going to sleep is when he suddenly remembers the way you ‘caressed’ his upper thigh, nails dragging against the tensed muscles slightly as shock waves coursed down his spine at your teasing whispers in his sensitive ear

You wanted this to happen, didnt you? Naughty naughty.

His breath quickens, face flushed a deep red, already feeling himself grow half erect and straining against his sweatpants.

He felt like such a perv as he tugged only the grey fabric down, hand coming to lightly massage himself through his boxers, drawing a stuttered gasp at the contact

Glazed over eyes would slip shut, hips grinding against his hand

If he’s not too worked up, he’ll just use his hand to finish himself off, nice and slow. He always starts at the base, slick fingers gliding along throbbing veins as his dick becomes fully erect. This is prime time for experimentation with himself, but most of the time he just falls back into what usually gets him going. Man just wants to cum.

Sometimes he teases himself by gliding his thumb up and under the shaft, making his way to his reddened head, thumb grazing over his oozing, sensitive slit. Feels so nice, but if he does it too many times, game over. This never fails to draw a whimper from him, though

He’s really noisy? He doesnt even have to touch his dick to hum in pleasure, just his nips and / or inner thighs. You’d think he’d have extremely sensitive nips but theyre pretty tame compared to others

If he is worked up, lord help his pillow because he is going to be humping the ever-loving shit out of it, towel nearby to cum into as he prays he doesnt ruin the thing he reluctantly sleeps on.

But God are his eyes glued to you, face burning the next day as you hug that pillow during a friendly study session..

At this point, that pillow has a weird shape. All the stuffing has bunched up mainly towards the middle, which is honestly a plus for him because the extra hard cushioning around his throbbing cock makes it all the more real. Naturally, he’s dreaming of fucking you into his mattress. Oh, to claim you, making you beg to go faster- to rub his head against your private parts..

He’s discovered he can use his quirk to his benefit during this time, snapping his hips faster, green sparks illuminating his body as he gets closer and closer. How addicting it is.

His balls arent something he usually pays attention to tbh, but from time to time he occasionally massages them in his hand

Often times he cannot control himself from bucking the closer he gets, moans spilling out those sinful lips like a bitch in heat

Drool dribbles down his chin 9 out of 10 times, cheeks blazing, pupils blown wide hiding that beautiful emerald color, the most sinful sight to behold and he’d be so embarrassed if someone saw him in such a vulnerable state.

Did I mention he also likes to kiss his palm as he pleasures himself (without his pillow), pretending that he’s kissing your delicious lips and not some sweaty palm as you bounce up and down on his length, juices mixing together on his shaft

If he’s humping his pillow, he’s going to be biting it in an attempt to keep his volume down - pretty futile. Who said a dom can’t be noisy?

When all is said and done, and he’s cumming, all hell breaks lose in his body and he no longer cares how loud he is (Mineta has complained multiple times, much to Izukus horror) He always finds himself screeching something that sounds oddly like your name..

“..aH! Hah! (Y/)-AHHnnnGnn..!”

His cum is on the thicker side, and there’s usually always a large amount of it from slight build up. He tries to make as little a mess as possible, considering he gets extremely sleepy after a session, so he wants to go to bed right after and not worry about a mess.

Experimented with fingering his ass once or twice, covered in this lube he got, but both times it wasnt exactly pleasurable, even if he properly stretched himself. He can’t figure out why, especially since he wants to rub up against that special spot. Has thought about buying a dildo at some point. Maybe a fleshlight too..

Midoriya Masturbating = Sinful and Loud

Todoroki Shōto:

Not as long as Izuku, but definitely more girthy!

Roughly 5.8in long when flaccid and 6.2in when fully erect!

He is also circumcised, mainly because it was some wacky tradition in his family and not mainly considered for health reasons.

He doesnt leak a lot of precum, which works for him considering he thinks its a bit messy

He’s one of those dudes that masturbate cuz they know they have to to stay healthy, masturbating twice a week. He has a schedule.. kinda strange..

“Hey Todoroki! Want to go to a karaoke bar with us?” “Can’t. I have.. plans.”

For the most part, he’s not nearly as sensitive as Izuku. That, and he’s not that loud

Mostly just grunts and groans, maybe an occasional “hah..”

He tends not to stray from his schedule, unless he’s extremely frustrated of course. Those days when his dad is being a real stick in the mud are the days hes jerkin it like his life depends on it

When that special time does come, though..

Hes laying on his back on his futon, completely naked and legs spread for the most access

His nimble fingers glide down his body, a way for him to mentally prepare for the pleasure he so desperately craves because he too is a horny fuck

He likes to watch his ministrations though, analyzing how much pleasure he can get from doing certain things so he can do it again next time

An example would be twisting his hand up and down the shaft

He also like to use toys on himself?

Dads credit card comes in handy.

He’s got it all, lubes, dildos, nipple claps and vibrators, etc

It takes a while to work himself up to an orgasm, it can be kind of annoying if he really wants that high as soon as possible

Typically he doesnt thrust into his hands- unless his favorite vibrator is up his ass, pressed snug against his prostate

He gets real crazy when that happens, legs shaking slightly as he bites on his lips

He loves watching his body react to different things, its mesmerizing how good he can feel from something he’s doing

One time pressed a bullet vibrator against his head and right nipple at the same time and came immediately - it was truly a big shock to him , blacked out for a second and woke up covered in his own seed

Speaking of, his nipples are one of his most strongest sensitive points, so he tends to avoid them until hes getting closer to his release.

They may or may not leak a bit if man milk from time to time if he messes with them too much

Bought this sizzling lube and uses a bit of that when rubbing at his nipples, he doesnt like that funky dry feeling even though the burn from it feels just as good

So basically, his dick his hard , hips helplessly thrusting in the air, vibrating dildo pressed up inside him and fingers working his nip as he finally cums - letting out a silent scream with flushed cheeks. So cute.

Though, he is a pervert.

When doing all this shit, he imagines its you, sweet little innocent (Y/N) doing all these things to him

He’s such a brat, honestly

Whenever he finds new techniques on the internet, he stores them away for later use

That, and when he sees your legs in some particularly tight thigh high socks so he can look back on it and pretend he’s thrusting into those delicious thighs

You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Such a slut for him~

Todoroki Masturbating = Kinky and Quiet

[theechosas]

Oat Milk? Oat Yes: An Ode to Oatly

As a well-known lactose intolerant coffee addict, I’ve received plenty of questioning stares from my classmates whenever I’ve got an old cup of joe in my hand. But my lattes aren’t made with milk from cows.

“You put oatmeal in your coffee?” people ask incredulously.

Nope. Oat milk. And yes, it’s delicious.

For all those curious, this is the process that creates Oatly’s oat milk. First, oats are mixed with water and ground in the miller. The mixture is then moved to tanks where enzymes are added to “break the oat starch down”. This creates maltose, which naturally sweetens the product. Next, the hard outer-casings of the oat is removed from the mixture. Canola oil and essential vitamins are added so that the milk can reach the desired “nutritional fat content and texture” [1]. To extend shelf life, the liquid is heat-treated. Then, after spending time in a sterile tank, it is packaged and shipped out [2].

Now, let’s get down to business.

Why Oats?

The nutritional value of Oatly: Barista Edition compared to Trickling Springs’s Organic Whole Milk [3].

If you’re concerned about losing the vitamins found in cow milk, fear no more: oat milk is infused with vitamins D, B, and calcium during production [4]. Additionally, Shape magazine reported that oat milk has 2 grams more fibre than any other milk (including cow milk) and less fat than other plant-based milks available on the market [5].

Unfortunately, while Oatly is vegan, gluten-free, and made with non-GMO ingredients, to place their oatmilk in a fairly reasonable price range, the drinks are not organic [1]. Still, this is a pretty solid product, in my opinion. For all of its benefits and quality, I think whether or not it’s organic matters very little to me.

For me, Oatly is my choice of milk because of two reasons (aside from the glaringly obvious fact that I’m lactose intolerant): its company’s values and their products’ taste.

The Company

Oatly was the first company in the world to ever commercialise oat milk. Founded in Sweden in 1994, their ascent to the top of the dairy alternative market has been slow. In 2016, their popularity skyrocketed. With charming pastel packaging, catchy slogans (see: “Wow! No cow!”) and personality in their presentation, Oatly’s products are designed to attract a younger audience. More specifically, the generation that is most concerned with global warming. In a Pew study it was discovered that “81% of millennials and 75% of Gen Xers say the Earth’s temperature is getting warmer compared with 69% of Baby Boomers and 63% of Silents” [6]. Given that one of the largest contributors of greenhouse emissions is the meat and dairy industry [7], it’s no surprise that people are making changes to their diets.

The eye-catching, quirky packaging of just one of many Oatly products. All of their products have a similar design with subtle variations [8].

Aside from being environmentally friendly in terms of greenhouse emissions, Oatly is also more environmentally sustainable. The Water Footprint Network reported that oats require one-sixth the amount of water almonds do to grow [9] and less herbicide than other crops due to how well it competes with weeds [10], making oat milk a greener alternative than its plant-based competitors. But here’s the even better part: all Oatly products are packaged in 100% recyclable resources, including “100% FSC-certified TetraPak paperboard” that can be “traceable to the forest where it was grown” [1]. Not bad, Oatly. Not bad at all.

The Product

Let’s be honest, you’re not here to learn about sustainability. You want a review on this milk’s taste. I’ll give you the verdict right now: Oatly is the gOAT.

Oat milk is made with more fat, which gives it a creamy texture similar to regular cow milk. This is why, when compared to almond milk, for example, oat milk feels thicker. Almond milk is simply too watery. This is also why so many coffee shops and baristas prefer to work with Oatly instead of other alternative milks. Pro tip: always get the Barista Edition Oatly if you’re planning on making your own oat milk coffee. If you’re drinking oat milk as a substitute for cow milk, you’re going to want the thicker texture that comes with the Barista Edition–– regular is just slightly thinner.

Remember the maltose you read about earlier? That’s the natural sugar found in oats, brought out by the enzymes. Aside from its thicker texture, Oatly is more enjoyable to drink because of its subtle sweetness. You may be worried about tasting oat in your milk. I’m personally a fan of oats (or at least, I have nothing against them), so I was surprised at how minimal the oat-taste was. Trust me, the taste of oat is unnoticeable unless you’re actively looking for it. Whereas other plant-based milks…

The Good, the Bad, and the Oatly

Like most things we encounter in life, Oatly does have its shortcomings.

Alternative milks do require more processing and can, in some cases, be just as harmful to the environment as the dairy industry is [11]. Fortunately, oat milk is not harmful to the environment [12]–– but it is processed. This is so that all consumers, vegan and non-vegan, can get their necessary vitamins and nutrients. If the purity of what you consume matters a lot to you but you’d still like an alternative to milk, you can make oat milk at home as well. Here’s an article on how to do so.

Oatly is also pricier than most milk on the market. A quick trip to a nearby grocery store revealed that 光明’s Ubest Whole Milk only cost 24.8 RMB for a litre compared to Oatly’s products. The price range varies from 5 USD at Target to 16 USD on Amazon for the Barista Edition–– mostly due to high demand and insufficient supply in different locations. Here in China, I get my supply on Taobao. Still, with a price of 96 RMB for two one-litre cartons, you’re paying almost twice the price of regular milk for half the quantity. And in my experience, Shanghai coffee shops can charge you anywhere from 3 to 10 RMB extra for coffee made with Oatly. Ugh.

The Verdict

Anyone who’s spent a day with me (or at least a morning, since that’s when I get my morning coffee) knows that I’m a huge Oatly fan. Their product is amazing in coffee and even alone. A bonus to their already great product is the company’s mission on transforming the milk industry into something more sustainable. Despite this, I also understand that some people just can’t get used to the taste of oat milk, or don’t have the means to drink it often. That’s completely understandable. For those who haven’t tried it or are interested though, I highly recommend you to.

It’s tOATally OATsome.

Learn more about Oatly at https://us.oatly.com/.

Sources

https://us.oatly.com/pages/faqs

https://www.oatly.com/int/our-process

left: https://tricklingspringscreamery.com/nutritional-information/ right: https://www.amazon.com/Oatly-Gluten-Free-Dairy-Free-Sugar-Free-Enriched/dp/B07D9QQFT4

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/oat-milk#nutrition

https://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/healthy-drinks/oat-milk-nutrition-dairy-free-milk

https://www.people-press.org/2018/03/01/4-race-immigration-same-sex-marriage-abortion-global-warming-gun-policy-marijuana-legalization/

https://www.grain.org/article/entries/5976-emissions-impossible-how-big-meat-and-dairy-are-heating-up-the-planet

https://thedieline.com/blog/2014/9/23/oatly

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/19/style/oat-milk-coffee-oatly.html

https://www.agric.wa.gov.au/hay-production/oats-weeds-and-integrated-weed-management

https://www.thecultureist.com/2016/10/05/why-dairy-alternatives-arent-always-good-for-you-or-the-planet/

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/is-oat-milk-good-for-the-planet-we-dive-into-the-dairy-alternative

Annie Xie