#are we getting full cast audios now?

[felassan]

Transcript of the DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC.

Update: this post has now been updated into a full transcript.

BioWare have said that they are going to share a recording of the panel at a later date. In the meantime, here is a transcript of it. When the recording is available, I will update this post further if required. This is a word-for-word transcript (in as far as it was possible to make one, it was quite a noisy room with lots of people in it), but a few bits were not clearly audible - these are marked as "[...]". listening to the original source in audio/video format, when it’s available, first-hand is of course always advisable, in case of any mis-hearings or missing things out etc on my part!! :>

there are other things from the panel here in this BioWare blogpost, collected in this compilation post, and also in this Tumblr post.

The panel was moderated/hosted by Lucy James. In attendance were creative director John Epler, creative performance director Ashley Barlow, and the actors of Lucanis, Neve, Emmrich, and Harding - Zach Mendez, Jessica Clark, Nick Boraine, and Ali Hillis respectively.

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[panel begins]

Lucy: Goodness me, there are a lot of you. Hello everyone. Hello San Diego. But more importantly, hello Dragon Age fans! Give yourselves a cheer! Now welcome to a panel that I am so excited to be moderating today. A little bit of, what do you call it, a little bit of, I'm just gonna say it, we're doing Q&A at the end. There is a microphone right here. I will give a warning - housekeeping was the word I was searching for. We're gonna be doing Q&A at the end. I will give you a warning to come up and ask questions to this incredible panel of developers from BioWare and actors from the brand new Dragon Age game, The Veilguard. I'm Lucy James, I'm your moderator for today, but you're not here for me, you're here for these incredible people, so let's go down the line and see who we have on the panel today. We have creative director John Epler. Creative performance director Ashley Barlow. The poised and pragmatic assassin, playing the role of Lucanis, Zach Mendez. The necromancer Emmrich, we have Nick Boraine. Absolutely did not mean to skip, but we have different, different lineup over here. The voice behind the private detective Neve, Jessica Clark. And returning franchise favorite, you know her as Lace Harding, the lovable Scout, Ali Hillis. Now, we all love Dragon Age games for multiple reasons, whether it is the combat, the impactful decisions that we get to make, the romances - I know my [...], I know my - but the heart and soul of every game is always the companions, and so we are gonna be doing a deep dive into some of the new cast as well as, like I said, returning franchise favorite. So I'm gonna kick off with you, John.

John: Awesome.

Lucy: Can, you know, you've been at BioWare for a couple of years now.

John: Yeah, seventeen years as of this year, so.

Lucy: Wow. Can you tell us a little bit about your history with Dragon Age?

John: Absolutely. So as mentioned, I've been at BioWare for coming up on seventeen years now. I worked as a QA tester on Dragon Age: Origins, moved into cinematic design, did that [...] Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and then became lead cinematic designer for Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser, where I worked closely with Trick Weekes, building out that story. And then now as creative director on Dragon Age: The Veilguard, which has been just a fantastic project to be a part of.

Lucy: Now, I assume pretty much everyone in this room has gone frame-by-frame through the trailers and gameplay videos and every BioWare social post about Dragon Age, but just in case there's anyone in the room who is unfamiliar, give us the quick overview of Dragon Age: The Veilguard?

John: Absolutely. So Dragon Age: The Veilguard is the latest entry in the Dragon Age franchise. It takes place approximately ten years after the end of Inquisition. You start the game hunting for Solas. It's a game built on some core principles of: be who you want to be, in a world worth saving, and with characters who matter. So, again, companions always at the heart of Dragon Age, they're at the heart of this one as well.

Lucy: And so, I mean, why is this team coming together? You mentioned it a little bit there, and like, what's bringing this, kinda 'rogues' gallery' together?

John: I mean it's the end of the world, and each character that you bring into your party understands that the world's ending, that they need to stop that, and you're really building, what I would say is more of a found family. These are characters who may not start off liking each other, may not even start off liking you, but over time, they grow to understand the importance of what they're doing and just, how critical it is to stop the elven gods.

Lucy: Now we were chatting a little bit before the panel, and you kinda said, like, a bold statement which was that this is one of the best groups BioWare has ever written. I say 'bold', cause we all have our favorites. What makes you say that? What's going on with The Veilguard that makes them so special?

John: Yeah, I mean, I think that every Dragon Age game the companions we write and create for those games are the best companions for that one. And I think in this case, what's really fascinating and what I've really loved to see come out through the game, through its development is, the way these characters form relationships, not just with you but with each other, so, whereas, you know, sometimes characters maybe don't interact as much. Each one of these has a relationship that extends beyond Rook, the protagonist, but also some become friends, some become lovers, and some become rivals. And it's just, the way that they learn to get over their differences, or put them aside, has really been fun and exciting, because they all represent a different part of the world of Thedas.

Lucy: I am very excited to see how these family dynamics come together, avoiding my real life family for my virtual family. Ashley, you’ve been playing a huge role in helping bring these characters to life. Can you tell us a little bit about your role at BioWare?

Ashley: Yeah. I’m the creative performance director, so I get to cast all of these characters, with the team at BioWare, of course. And then work tirelessly in the booth with them, I mean, they just met like this weekend. I just silo them off, and they do their work, and they listen to each other, and, you know, 3000 hours later, and then they get them back around, and we can iterate on it, and they can say, ‘oh, oh that’s what everyone sounds like!’, now they get to play off of it. So, it’s a big road-trip in a VO booth. From my house.

Lucy: A big road trip. A big deal. A big game. Where do you even begin with a behemoth like this?

Ashley: We, we audition our companions. We have to make sure that our leads can play off of each other, that compliment each other, that juxtapose each other. Like John said, it’s kind of like a family, an un-chosen family, and so we need them to, you know, it’s, you need to create an ensemble, a diverse ensemble, so that the players get the choice of who they want to bring on this hero’s journey. And so, we brought them all in, you know, and they, we do motion capture, so we need to see how they move, and how they walk, and how they talk, and how they can act like heroes. And they all carry themselves so well. Now, it’s tripping me out, because they all look like their characters to me.

Lucy: Now, there are plenty of returning faces in The Veilguard, but there are new companions that we will get to know and love. Let’s start with Lucanis. John, can you give us a little quick overview of his background, and what’s his deal?

John: Absolutely. So Lucanis is the stylish assassin from the Antivan Crows, you know. But, not bloodthirsty, more, as he sees assassination as a job, one that he is extremely skilled at. Over the course of the story, you learn more about him, more about his character, more about his relationship, not just within The Veilguard, but also with the Crows and with other characters in the world. And I think, it’s fascinating to see how that grows over the course of the game.

Lucy: Now Zach, you are the voice. I mean, how do you approach this? Where did you […]?

Zach: Well, when I first found out I got the role, I read Tevinter Nights, which is the book, that came out [...] and you should read. And I read The Wigmaker Job, in which Lucanis is featured. I read it about three times, and after I closed the book I realized, ‘this might be the coolest guy I ever get to play’. I mean, not only is he a smooth assassin, not only is he determined - yes, he can kill you a thousand different ways, but what struck me was, his mind is as dangerous as his knives. I mean this is a guy who takes in the environment with all five senses. He’s constantly attuning himself to the kind of shifting terrain of every mission. And also, he’s kinda hilarious. I mean, if you look at his relationship with his cousin Illario, in The Wigmaker Job, they’re constantly giving each other crap. But there’s a lotta love there, so I got to pull, you know, from my relationship with my brother. Because we love each other dearly, but we can be ruthless with each other. And so, it was really easy to play in that way.

Lucy: I mean, yeah, you mentioned being a comedian there. Ashley, how was working with Zach?

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: Harnessing that and bringing it to the character.

Ashley: Zach’s one of the funniest people I know. And that’s a lot to live up to. But, you know, he came in as one of the most adaptable actors. And, you know, we did a lot of motion capture during 2020, 2021, 2022, even 2023, and so Zach stood in for like, Assan, and Varric, like all the characters [...] just mostly, most - [a scene plays on the screen behind the panel of the actors doing mo-cap. Zach as Assan hops along the ground like :D over to Davrin, Rook and another character. Davrin is happy to see him and scratches him under the chin. Davrin motions to Rook, who then bends down and hugs Assan] - I mean I’m pretty sure [...] a huge inspiration for the cinematics. Once you see this scene that this is, like - remember it, 'cause [...] -

Zach: Just know, when you’re hugging Assan, you’re hugging me. That means a lot.

Ashley: It’s true! But, yeah, but, for Lucanis, Zach was able to bring, I mean once you get in the game and you meet Lucanis, you’ll know that he’s, you know, a murdering Crow, and then, is a […], you know, there’s a darkness. [there is a rumbling noise in the background and the panelists look around confused]

[?]: I think it's just thundering.

Ashley: It’s thundering, let's, let's do a -

Zach: The darkness.

[...]

Ashley: But in the darkness -

Zach: Prepare yourselves. [background noise continues]

Ali[?]: It’s coming.

Zach: Seriously, what is that? What’s happening?

A person off to the side: Other rooms!

Zach: Okay, okay, okay, thank you.

Ashley: Okay, thank you. [...] think you were doing it. As you can tell, he brought like a, he brings a lightness to it, ‘cause you can’t always be that heavy. I don’t want to be scared or crying in the booth all the time. And thank God the writers, John included, and all of the writers of Lucanis really brought some fast, quick-witted writing. So he’s quick as a whip, he really lightened it up, and can’t wait til you guys get in and play it and romance this sucker! Sorry! Sorry not sorry!

Lucy: I was going to say, how does it also feel to play a romanceable character?

Zach: Oh, I’m quite excited about it. Ashley has promised to give me the stats of how many people romance me. I'm really looking forward to that.

Lucy: No pressure, gotta get those numbers up!

Zach: Yeah, I know. But, that’s the great thing about Lucanis, is that, you know, he’s extremely smooth, as an assassin, but, and, yes, he does have a heart, he does have a soft side, he’s not completely adept at always dealing with other people and interactions of that such, you know, he’s extremely stubborn and stuck in his ways, so it’s really hard for him to let people in sometimes, so I’m really excited for fans to get to meet him, and, you know, help him open up.

Lucy: And before we go to the rest of your illustrious cast members, what’s, what was, what’s been your highlight of working on The Veilguard? Is it, you know, this moment getting to see everyone in person? Was it a story from on set one day, or an interaction with one of the devs?

Zach: Well, you know, I did, before the first day of shooting, I did kinda get an idea about how passionate the fanbase was, which made me really excited. I don’t wanna say nervous, because I don’t say I’m nervous, I say I’m excited. And so before the first day of shoot, I was very excited. And luckily, you know, Ashley and them, didn’t have me do too much on the first day. I played a lot of darkspawn. I darkspawn-ed my ass off, though. I want you guys to know, I really –

Ashley: Oh he did, yeah.

Zach: – and when I got home, I thought to myself, you know, ‘Zach, did you darkspawn hard enough?’ I was just worried! You know, and within an hour I got a text from Jeff, who’s a part of this cast as well, and Jee, telling me what a great job I did. And then, I’ll never forget. I got a call from Ali Hillis down here. And I will remember that conversation, because for thirty minutes, she made me feel like I was welcome in the Dragon Age family, and it gave me so much confidence moving forward. So thank you Ali, so much, I still remember that, God bless you.

Lucy: That is lovely. See, the family stuff coming up already. I’m very excited.

Ashley: [...]

Lucy: Right, let’s move on. Coming to the private detective, Neve, who we actually got a glimpse of in the gameplay reveal from a few weeks ago. Let’s take a quick look. [a scene plays on the screen; the scene when Rook meets Neve in the prologue with Varric and Harding, that we saw in the gameplay reveal video] Now John, can you give us a quick overview of Neve?

John: Absolutely. So Neve, as you can see in the video, is one of the first companions that you encounter in Dragon Age: The Veilguard. She’s from Tevinter, Minrathous specifically. And anyone who’s played Dragon Age before knows that we’ve always talked about Minrathous, we’ve always talked about Tevinter, so we wanted to have a character who showed, not the parts of Tevinter that we’ve touched on before, you know, obviously slavery is a big part of it, it’s a mageocracy, but somebody who was pushing back, fighting back against that. And Neve’s shown up in the ancillary media as well, in the comics The Missing. And it’s just, she is that, you know, somewhat cynical detective with a bit of a heart of gold, bit of [a?] romantic, and just seeing her character evolve over the course of The Veilguard, over the course of the game, because again, she’s one of the first people you meet, is. Always fun seeing Neve’s character bounce off other the followers, banter has been super fun, just the way that she, what she brings to the table is always, it’s always so interesting to me.

Lucy: Jessica, I mean, what was it like getting that call to find out that you were gonna be in Dragon Age?

Jessica: It was slightly terrifying, and it was, I just felt really honored immediately, because I feel like, to be, I feel like they entrusted me with such, something with such significance and such importance to so many people, and so I just really wanted to honor that, and bring everything that I could to this fabulous character that I had been gifted. So yeah, that was.

Lucy: And I understand that you are kind’ve newer to the kind’ve voice acting, kind’ve realm. How was it different from more traditional roles?

Jessica: I am pretty new to it. I’ve barely done anything as significant, Dragon Age is enormous. It was very freeing honestly, I mean, like Ashley said, they auditioned and auditioned and auditioned and auditioned us. Like, every time I was brought in, I was like, ‘oh I didn’t get that’, you know what I mean? And then three months later there was another audition, and. But it was just so interesting and so freeing, because it really is sort’ve, it almost felt like play pretend, like when I was a little girl, you know? And it’s like what you dream up in your imagination. Because they, you know, they give you this character, and they give you some of the dialogue and then they really wanna see where you go with it and how you move and how you embody her and how you react to dragons that aren’t there because you’re in an audition room. You know, like all of that. So, and then, also, playing Neve, it really allowed me, and being a voice actor, it really allowed me to sort’ve step into my power a bit more, because, you know, I’m very tall, and things like that. And so, in a lot of my, sort’ve, more traditional television and film work, they kind’ve want you to be the girl, and I have to raise my voice, and be a little softer, and you know, kind’ve, not diminish myself, I don’t wanna say that, but just be very conscious of my physicality. And then Neve, it’s completely the opposite. You know, so Ashley had to work with me literally on dropping my register and things like that, and it was so confusing at the beginning, and then it was so amazing, to kind’ve have that opportunity, so I’m very grateful.

Lucy: Yeah. I mean, what drew you, what’s your favorite thing about Neve? – get that applause going, go on, let's go!

Jessica: I love her loyalty, I love her dedication, I love how much she loves Docktown and its people and how she really sees a different vision for Tevinter than, as John said, than what’s previously been depicted. And she’s really really fighting for those people, and she loves those people, and so yes she’s cynical, and yes she’s kinda tough and brusque and all these other things, but when they say there’s a heart of gold, there really, like to have that kind of a passion and dedicate your life to something like that, I think that, that’s my favorite part about her.

Lucy: And what were some of your highlights from, I mean, is it, is it kind of strange to record a video game, because I assume you’re doing things in different orders -

Ashley: Yeah.

Jessica: Oh yes.

Lucy: - working with some people some days and other people different days - tell me about that?

Jessica: I mean in terms of that, I just trusted Ashley and John, you know, and they know, and I was there to learn and embody and kind’ve grow into that. But I think my favorite thing, even though we were all separate disembodied voices a lot of the time, we kind’ve really all bonded in the way that we were intended to, you know? And that’s why we’ve been so excited all week and all weekend, because we can be like, ‘oh my god, you’re here, oh my god you’re here, you’re here, you’re here’, finally, you know? And you know, I know on a lot of projects, people are like ‘oh yeah, we’re all like, we love each other’, but we really do, we really really do. And it just evolved so organically. And there was something magical about it just being our voices in the beginning. You know, like sort’ve taking anything else out of the -

Zach: Equation.

Jessica: – you know what I’m saying. I’ve run out of words.

Ashley[?]: Yeah, it’s like an audible penpal. […] speaking to each other for so long.

Jessica: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ashley: It's nice with Jess, [...] she hit it on the head, you know, voice acting, you know, I hate to say it, I don't wanna put Jess - Jessica’s obviously a beautiful woman, but in the booth, it doesn’t matter. We just, pulled out the power and the range that Neve has, and it’s limitless, and as a woman to see that kind of writing and that kind of performance ability is, I know for a lot of us in the room, probably, pretty badass.

Lucy: Jess, I wanna, I'm gonna come back to something, because you mentioned, like, you’ve been messaging, and that the cast, you know, really loves each other, is there a Veilguard groupchat?

Jessica: There are several.

Lucy: Hold up. Who sends the most memes, who is the person who only reacts with the thumbs-up emoji?

Jessica: I, I would say Jeff is the most active, who plays one of the Rooks, I would say, in that respect, and to bounce off what Zach said, just an incredibly generous actor. And then, Ali, like it’s so true, like I had that story too, like literally even being back there, I was like, [gasp], I was like, she’s like, ‘it’s gonna be okay’, she’s like, ‘it’s good, it’s like, you’re gonna love it, it’s gonna feel special’. She literally like held my hands and like looked into my eyes and was like [inhale, exhale], you know? [looks at Ali and reaches out to her] I love you.

Lucy: I was gonna say, if we’re doing an Ali love-in, she did that for me too. So.

[?]: She does that for everyone.

Lucy: She’s done it for everyone? Fantastic!

Ali: Guys, you’re making me cry!

Lucy: We didn’t expect, hang on, we did expect one of our companions to be - a stone cold gray fox. BioWare treating us well. Emmrich has been driving the internet wild. And so, John, can you give us a little bit of background there?

John: Absolutely.

Lucy: Where did Emmrich come from?

John: I mean honestly, I will say like, we expected a great reaction to Emmrich. Went beyond what we expected for sure. But it’s been fascinating to see, because again, Emmrich is this character, he’s more of the professorial, more, he brings a wisdom and kind of a calmness to the group, so even when things are at their worst, there’s that one person in the group who’s kind’ve like, ‘okay, you know, we’ve got, let’s figure it out, slow, take a deep breath’. And just his journey through his character arc and his interaction with the others, it’s been fantastic to see. Even just finding opportunities for him to bounce off the other characters, you know, the way he talks to Bellara, the way he talks to Neve, it’s all so different, but it’s all so just, again, based around this core of this warm, kind-hearted, professorial necromancer, which again is not something that you see a lot of in media, usually necromancers are depicted a very specific way. But it’s been, just awesome to see how Emmrich has grown and just, really one of the most, one of my favorite experiences has been just working with Emmrich’s writer and working with Emmrich as a character.

Lucy: And Nick, you are the voice behind Emmrich.

Nick: I am.

Lucy: How did you prepare for the role, you know, what were you told about him before you got into the booth for the first time?

Nick: I think I’ve been preparing for Emmrich all my life. I was very attracted to the role initially. And I was so, I was overjoyed when I got it because I think it was, the writing of Emmrich is really fascinating. It’s this, this man that is obsessed with death, on one hand, but on death as a comfort, death as a transition, death as something that is not scary, and that ability to enable people to transition, and the investment that he gives in that sphere, which we don’t give in our own lives. I was immediately attracted to that and I thought that that was – I’d never seen that before, and so to go in these two ways, to talk about death and to talk about it in a way that is kind and that the transition becomes a kind transition, that was fascinating to me, and I think, will be fascinating to you too, yeah.

Lucy: And I hear as well that Emmrich gets, I mean, you’re all gonna get some fantastic lines, but I hear that Emmrich has some quite spectacular ones. You, Nick, you and Ashley, I would love to hear about the process of, was it difficult to get like some of those tongue-twisters, and?

Ashley: Yeah, Sylvia the lead writer basically was like, ‘Ash, you’re gonna need a dictionary for all of the sessions with Emmrich’, it’s like, 'Okay!'. And we get there, you just nailed them all, like 'shduhfejdkjjdhdjdhfjehfjkhehe into the Fade'.

Nick: Well, I don’t know if I nailed them all, that’s very kind of you. But, there was some serious tongue-twisters there, and, but it’s great, it’s great to be in the booth, and to be given a challenge like that, and. Yeah, it’s fantastic, I mean that’s what I love to do, so it was great to be just gifted that.  

Ashley: You’re such a natural nerdy scientist. […]

Nick: It's my inner self.

Ashley: It's your inner secret.

Nick: Yeah.

Lucy: Now I love that, and I think, I think the, I, I’m drawn towards with Emmrich is that like, he loves learning.

Ashley: Yeah!

Lucy: It’s very clear, like, it seems like you’ve really just thrown yourself into this role and the world of Dragon Age. You know, I asked Zach a similar question and it’s like, you’ve been working on this for so long, what’s it like now that people have caught a glimpse of your character, it is just a glimpse, but people are desperate to know more?

Nick: I mean it’s so interesting that this character has kind of caught fire a little because, when I did it I thought ‘okay, well everyone else is like so sexy and like, it’s just amazing, and I’ll just be this kind of professorial kinda guy chatting in the background, having fun, you know, dealing with death, and you know, on the side’, and suddenly it became this thing of like, no, this is actually really interesting. And I think people have found it interesting, and I love that! I love that you guys have also found it as interesting as I have as because, it’s, it's a fantastic character, he’s a fantastic character, honestly.

Lucy: I mean, Ashley, working with Nick, any other highlights to share about your time in the booth, or?

Ashley: Oh man, every, Nick is the most consistent person I’ve ever met in the booth – or in his garage.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: Recording booth, he’s really like [a hippy in art?], so I, so it’s kinda trippy, seeing you again in person and knowing what your character looks like.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: But yeah, you’ve just been so consistent with Emmrich and bringing this grounded-ness, and I’ve learned so much working with you, and. Yeah, now, you tell me, what, what good really looks like.

Nick: Oh wow, thank you, thank you. Appreciate that.

Lucy: I mean obviously, there’s Manfred too.

Nick: [gasp!]

Lucy: Played by Matt Mercer. What was it like kind’ve having another character to [...] bounce off of?

Nick: Oh man! I mean that is such a hard question because Matt and I have never met.

Ashley: Yeah.

Nick: And we worked completely separately, and. I mean I know that the rapport is really great, but it’s in the ether, I mean it is just, the magic that these guys create, telling us how to respond, how to do that, but it’s, I can’t wait to meet Matt.

Ashley: We recorded, basically before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: All of before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: And so Manfred got to play off of your straight delivery -

Nick: OH he did? I did not know that. Oh man!

Ashley: I know!

Nick: He got the easy part!

Ashley: Yeah, totally! So you set him up, just to knock it out of the park –

Nick: Right!

Lucy: Okay, so you got to set the tone. You get [...]

Ashley: Yeah, yeah […]

Nick: Right right right right. I set the tone!

Lucy: And, finally. Last but certainly not least, Ali Hillis returning as Scout Harding. Please [indicates for applause]. Now, I’m so excited because, she’s one of my favorite Dragon Age characters period and it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of her. But what has she been up to, John, between Inquisition and The Veilguard?

John: So I mean, if you’ve read the comics, you know that Scout Harding has been working with Varric to track down Solas. So she has been on his tail for quite some time. The game starts just as they finally - tracked him down, figured out where he is, but she’s been working with the remnants of the Inquisition, working with Varric, and then also working with Rook and Neve. Again, if you read the comics, you know that Harding has met Neve, they have a […] relationship before the events of the game. But yeah, she is dedicated to taking someone who used to be a friend, someone she considered, you know, even if they weren’t close, because Harding wasn’t part of the Inquisitor’s core companions, somebody she knew, somebody who treated her with some amount of respect, and knowing what he’s up to now, knowing she has to stop him, so.

Lucy: She was in the core Inquisitor’s, of my heart, so.

John: That’s right, well, I mean, she had the light romance, so.

Lucy: I tried to flirt with her every time. Never went anywhere. Ali, you are no stranger to playing beloved BioWare characters, obviously, Doctor Liara T’Soni.

Ali: [in her Liara voice] It is very nice to see you all today.

Lucy: What’s it like to be returning as Lace Harding?

Ali: First of all, it was a complete surprise. I don’t know if it was for you guys, but it was for me. So I was so excited when I got that call, because I had no idea it was coming. And after recording the last Dragon Age, and going to cons, much like this one, and having the line in front of me and all my pictures spread out, and every few people, someone would come up and say, well, ‘Where’s your Scout Harding photo?’ I was like, ‘oh, I didn’t bring one! Like. I didn’t realize! Okay!’ So I started getting more into the idea that this was a really beloved character, and I didn’t realize! And she was so much fun to create because BioWare gives us so much freedom as actors, it’s such a collaborative effort, both with Liara as well as Scout, I remember getting in the studio for the very first time to record these characters. I do a lot of voiceover, I do a lot of amazing games, I don’t always remember the very first day in the studio with a project, and I do for both of these projects. Because they were so poignant in my life, because it was, it was, a group of people coming together, they had already obviously conceptualized these characters. There was art, there was writing, brilliant writing that we are only so lucky to chew on in these voiceover sessions with such expert direction. The material that we are given to work with, only, just blasts us off this planet, in the acting world. But, just, knowing that when we went in to create Scout Harding to begin with, and one of the ideas I remember us talking about was, like, ‘well, I wonder if she’s kind of a character whom, when she talks, maybe she draws in the dirt with her toe?’ You know, coming up with these little tiny bits of yumminess to create a character and build it, the fact that they give us that honor to work with them on it, you know, is incredible. So when I heard that she was coming back, I was thrilled from the inside out, because I felt a part of this whole thing, so thank you, guys, for bringing her back. You! [to the audience] You! [to BioWare devs' direction] Thank you.

Lucy: I think I can speak for all of us when I say, we are thrilled.

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: You know, a lot has changed in the time since Dragon Age: Inquisition. I mean, what, how, for you has the experience of recording changed, like, technology-wise? Obviously, a little thing happened in 2020 we don’t have to talk about, but how has it changed for you?

Ali: Yeah, and speaking of that little thing that we’re not supposed to talk about, but the way that this company pivoted and, I mean, we were working on something, we had a project in the works, and somehow, every single person had to deal with this big thing in the world that we’re not talking about -

Lucy: We can talk about it.

Ali: - and somehow produce a game! So when you guys play this, just know that the amount of effort that went into this one, you know, maybe exceeds every game I’ve ever worked on because, we had to, everyone had to pivot, you know, suddenly we’re working from our garages – me too – and usually we’re wearing pants. And, and, you know, when I worked on past games with BioWare, everybody was in Edmonton, pretty much, and then everyone just kinda dispersed and I didn’t know where anybody was, and Ash was working out of her house all the time. It was incredible because we just did it, we pivoted, like all of you did, like all of us did, and we all came together and we made it happen and I was really really proud of that. Anyway, I know we weren’t supposed to talk about it, but it was magical, and powerful, and incredible. And I’m so sorry, back to the original question.

Lucy: No, I mean, how has the process changed for you?

Ali: The process has changed for me? I got to do p-cap! I got to be her! I got to physicalize, they gave me that, I got to physicalize her this time, which I didn’t get to do last time and I did not get to do in Mass Effect. And I really had a great time with it! Because, just like these guys have all talked about, we all come from different acting and theater backgrounds, I think Ash as well, and different types of performance, and it was cool to get on the volume - the p-cap stage -because, it’s like a theater.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: You have freedom! It’s better than a theater because you can turn around backwards and talk like this and everybody still knows what’s going on, so, it’s freedom in acting and we get to really bring the character to life outside of being behind the microphone and envisioning all of it, we actually get to perform. So that was one big difference for me in this game particularly. That, and the, doing it from my home sometimes in voiceover, or studio, it was, we kinda just, went with the flow.

Lucy: Is it easy to come back to a character that you kinda know inside out, or is it kind of like a mental block about it because you’re returning to something, or is it easier to come up with something new to […] What was it like getting back into the shoes of Harding?

Ali: That’s a really good question because it had been a minute. I mean, I’m so excited this game is releasing, how about you? Woo! You know what, with her, again, just kind of like Liara, because we came about this character so organically, I did ask, I remember asking to hear voice-bytes, I just wanna make sure we were in the same ballpark. But also, you know, there’s been an evolution.

Ashley: Yeah, you’ve seen some shit.

Ali: Yeah. We can’t really talk about it, you guys’ll have to find out for yourselves. But there’s been an evolution, so.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: So, yeah, it’s, it's, I can’t really say anything else about it without giving stuff away.

Ashley: She comes back with such, like, a veteran voice, y'know?

Lucy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that, like, she’s, she’s got a little bit more of an edge to her.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: Yes.

John: Well, she’s been chasing Solas for almost a decade, so.

Ali: And I love that, that is an amazing relationship that you guys created. And then I’ll stop talking about that. Damn!

John: No more!

Ali: I’m so excited!

John: I know!

Ali: I defer to these guys!

Lucy: I mean, question, kind’ve for all of you. We kind’ve touched on it a little bit, the challenges, and you know, the fact that the game is almost here, Fall 2024. I’d love to know, down the line, and just, you know, what’s been kind’ve your guiding light for all of you on this project?

John: I mean for me, it’s always been about, Dragon Age has always been about the people. I mean, the companions, the villains, the allies you make along the way. And for us, making sure that that stayed central, that that was still our guiding light. We really wanted to focus the game, the story, the gameplay, always around yourself as a character, but also the other characters in the world, not just, again, how they relate to you, but also, having these relationships, having this idea of this world that exists, with people that exist, not just as kind’ve a theme park for the player character to go through. But they have lives, and they have internality, like they’ve got an internal life of their own, that cause them to act in ways that may not always be predictable, but is always fascinating, and makes them feel real, even if you’re only getting a few dozen lines, they feel like real people.

Lucy[?]: Yeah.

Ashley: Yeah. I think that was my guiding light, like, I’m, have to find logic in these, you know, over hundred thousand lines in the story and over 700 unique characters you can meet. And I, in this fantasy world, I, we’re all still looking for the truth. What is the truth? How can we ground this? Do I believe it? Do you believe it? Are we in it? And that was always my North star. And, you know, often times I’m in the booth, and sometimes I’ll just, ‘I don’t buy it, I don’t buy it’, or, and, so, it was my job to be the gatekeeper, I felt, in the booth, to make sure, that I buy it, so you will all buy it.

Zach: I made the mistake, before we started shooting, of checking out the Reddit of Dragon Age. Not a good idea. It was a bad idea. But what I did, what struck me is that these people, these fans, have the same passion for this game that I have had for a hundred fantasy worlds. You know, places where I’ve gone into and discovered different parts of myself through. through, following these stories. And so I felt an, I felt so, it was so incumbent upon me to put as much effort as I could into this game. And I really do feel like the fans inspired me to pour my heart and soul into this, and I just cannot wait for you guys to play it, I really cannot.

Lucy: Jessica, what about you?

Jessica: I would say for me it was the dialogue, honestly. I loved the writing, Brianne was my writer, and Ashley, and John, and she’s right, like it’s, you gotta go deeper, and like we’re trying to find it, and we’re trying to find it together, and sometimes we’re not there, and sometimes we have to come back to it, you know, there was, I could tell there was such an evolution in my work, and part of that was because I just kind’ve gave it over to the writing. And whenever I did get to play off the other actors, you know, sometimes they’ll have, you can play in with their lines, and that was just such a joy, and I got to like discover other little parts of the game that I had no idea about, you know, because we’re doing it in isolation. So that was kind’ve the joy for me, and just honestly trusting, trusting the team and Ashley and John, so.

Lucy: Nick?

Nick: Yeah, I mean I’d have to say narrative as well, I think what the writers have done on this show, you don’t get in other games, you just don’t. You don’t get the level of, the depth of character. And character makes story. And that is what they focused on here. And I just kept coming back into that booth going, ‘I’ve never, I’ve never, experienced this before’. And just one last thing as well, I think the fact that we were separate, and I’m only just sort’ve putting this together now, the fact that we didn’t see each other, the fact that we didn’t know each other, has created a kind of magic that, I think is extraordinary. You can’t see somebody and you have to listen in the dark for cues and signals, and you have to put it together. That, that is magical. And I think, out of the chaos of 2020, 2021, 2022, which was exactly when we were recording and trying to figure this out, that’s when the magic came together, that’s, and I think we all feel that here, and I really hope you guys do too.

Lucy: Ali?

Ali: Well I feel like they’ve kinda covered it. I was gonna speak to kinda like what John said. One thing I really like about this game particularly, and I think you guys will find this as well, is you really find yourself in it.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: And the relationships, not only with the player and the people you bring along, but the team with each other, it’s just, it’s so well-written, the relationships are so conditioned that you really get lost in the moment. And I love when I’m at a con signing somewhere and someone comes to the table and says, you know, ‘this is a game that took me away from something I was dealing with in my real life, and I’m so grateful for it’, and I feel like, this is one of those games. This is gonna take you into a world that’s gonna blow your mind. And, I was just so honored to be a part of this group, again, again, I’m just gonna echo everything everybody said. But when I would hear their voices in my cans, in my headset, and I don’t get to see their faces, there is something so specific and so intimate about that experience, when you’re not seeing each other, and you’re just hearing, they have this amazing system where we get to hear each other. Whoever’s recorded first is played, if I’m having a conversation with these guys, if they’ve recorded first, I get to hear them and talk back. Acting is reacting. So it’s really nice that I actually get to react honestly off of these guys with expert guidance. So, I was really appreciative that we’ve conditioned these relationships in a fantasy land and also in real life, and I think you guys will feel that when you play.

Lucy: Now we do have time for Q&A. I'm gonna ask the panel another question, but if you wanna start lining up, we have, people are jumping to their feet already, this is great. We have a microphone right here. Before we go to Q&A, I suppose, what's the big, the biggest takeaway you want when people actually get to play later this year?

John: For me, honestly, it's just, how much this project has just been a team effort in a way that, everyone is working collaboratively with each other, everyone is bouncing off each other. Everyone was talking earlier about the writing, but I think what's fascinating for [...] has been so awesome to see is, the actors also shaping these characters as we built them. Seeing, like, how, Nick delivers a line, how Zach delivers a line, how Jessica delivers a line, how, and then, bouncing off that and then forming the character, shaping the character, so. We realize, okay, so, Ali has this, you know, has this, says things in a very specific way. Maybe we, let's re-write a few things, let's really lean into this, you know, what she brings to the character, and it's just. That's true across the entire team. It's not just the actor, it's not just the writer, but everybody who has worked on it, has a little piece of themselves in it. And to me there's just this excitement that that brings, and just this amazing passion that you can see in everything that's been built in this game.

Ali: It's so cool, I was gonna say, when we were recording, and I know we gotta get these questions, when we were recording during the pandemic and we were at home, I didn't realize sometimes that on the Zoom call I'd only see Ashley's face, or sometimes, you know, whatever, whatever she puts up. And then suddenly I'd have a question, 'hey, so in this line, this and this?', suddenly, like, John, or somebody else would just pop in, and talk about the line, so, we were always collaborating, it was just amazing, I was very grateful to have you guys ever-present.

John: Thank you.

Lucy: Alright. Shall we go to our first question? We all ready?

[?]: Yeah.

Lucy: Alright.

Audience member: Hello. [...] fan of Dragon Age since Origins. Oh, I must say, I am very disappointed with this panel. You've failed to mention a very important part of the game! The factions!

John: Mmm!

Audience member: So I would like to know, what can you tell me about them, and, can you join them, or do you just interact with them?

John: So, you start the game, you get to choose which background you go with. Each one is tied to one of the major factions. But one of our principles from the start was the concept of 'characters not causes'. So we didn't wanna just give you, 'here's the Grey Wardens, they're just kinda this group that exists in the world', we wanted to attach characters to them. So I can speak to the Grey Wardens in particular, anyone who's read comics and any of our short stories know Evka and Antoine, they kind've represent your connection to that faction. And you can work with them throughout the story, you can help them out. And decide how much you want to spend time with them. But each one of them [...] represents these important forces in the world that you need to get on your side if you're gonna stop the end of the world, so.

Audience member: Looks good.

Lucy: I was gonna say, Zach, you've done, you've done your research, so how exciting was it for you to kind've see and hear all these factions coming into play?

Zach: What, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

Lucy: You did all your research, so.

Zach: Oh, yeah.

Lucy: How exciting was it for you to hear about these factions and then hearing about how they'll come into play in the game?

Zach: Well, I don't think they kept my voice for Antoine, but I did my best French accent, I think it was pretty painful for everybody else on set, I really did. Oh yeah, the Grey Wardens are a barrel of laughs, those guys, they're absolutely wonderful. Well, yeah, so I had to play a bunch of characters, so I had to really steep myself in the understanding that, okay, the Grey Wardens go a lot, go through a lot, actually, doing what they do. They make a pretty intense bond in order to carry out exactly what they do. So, I tried to bring that as best I can to the physicality when I did do the motion capture and whatnot, but I cannot wait to see how it plays out in the game.

Lucy: Next question.

Audience member: Hello, I've also been a fan of Dragon Age since Origins. So, I've noticed in pretty much all of the games, there's a lot of influence from classical fantasy and mythology. So I was wondering, general question for the whole panel, what was your first exposure to fantasy or mythological storytelling, and do you use any of that in your voice-acting?

John: Hm. I can speak to mine but I can't speak to the voice-acting part, obviously. I mean I read Lord of the Rings at a very young age, and everything that you read that you, any piece of art that you enjoy, engage with, it's obviously gonna have an influence on yourself and also what you do.

Ashley: Yeah, there's a [depth?], in it, you know, to the fantasy world, that acting, it's kind of timeless, right? It can be anything, anywhere, and I feel like when we were doing the voices, we, you know, we didn't want it to be in 2020 or 2024 or whatever, so I think that's how I was most influenced, is, what's the most universal sound or a language, or a mixture of those, that can feel like nobody knows what it is?

Zach: I mean I was obsessed with, I think it's Theseus and the Minotaur, that story, when I was young. Did I just put my foot, I think it's Theseus, it could be Perseus, I can never remember okay?

Audience member: It's Theseus.

Zach: It's Theseus? My man! Thank you. I appreciate it. But I love the symbolism in those types of myths, right? Like, the Minotaur is this half-man, half-beast, who sits in the middle of the labyrinth, and the labyrinth is, of course, your mind, and you are also the Minotaur, and you are also Theseus. But so, getting to see the symbolism that's represented in Dragon Age, and how deep the meaning is, like that, those the stories I've always wanted to tell, ever since I was young, so I, it was a real honor to get to bring this to life.

Jessica: I also, my first, was Lord of the Rings, but I also was very interested in Greek mythology growing up. And, yeah, I think it's that, as Zach said, the symbolism, that you see, and like, I think you really see that in Dragon Age, and I know you know, right, you all, like, know the lore, and go looking for things, and that's really exciting to me. And then, just, yeah, the limitless possibility, right? You're not limited to what people look like, or whether you're human, I don't know, you know what I'm saying, like, that can really can take your mind and the world and the depth of the world anywhere and everywhere. And that's so exciting.

Nick: Yeah, I mean, for me it was The Hobbit, as well, my mom read me The Hobbit, and I would go, 'stop, stop!' And I would run to her closet and put on a pair of her boots, these shiny boots, and wear a cape, and I would go 'okay, okay, carry on' [...], you know, just, I would just, I would just be so in it. And then I'd go like, 'stop, stop, I'm gonna read that bit, I'm gonna read that bit'. And, you know, it was just, it absolutely informed why I'm sitting here today.

Ali: I wish I had better answers. Talking about, instead of yesteryear, talking about recently, I was travelling, and we were in Greece, and I feel like I saw Dragon Age everywhere. Just like an inspiration to travel and look back and, I'm now infatuated with castles. So, actually, it's brought me into this world, instead of me discovering it, you know, a long time ago, this has what's really brought me here.

[?]: Thank you very much.

[?]: Thank you.

Lucy: Thank you for your question.

Audience member: Hello, thank you for answering questions. For the new companions, if you could romance, from your companion's perspective, which older companion would you romance?

Ali: This could get embarrassing!

Zach: I kinda have a thing for The Iron Bull. Yeah, I saw him for the first time when I was looking up some answer to some question I had when I was reading the books, and I was like, 'oh, that awakened something inside of me! Huh! Look at that!' - You guys are gonna leave me hanging after I said that I want to have sex with The Iron Bull?

Jessica: [...] Um, I, I, don't know, honestly, I'm overwhelmed by that question, so [...]

Nick: I guess I'm a little overwhelmed by that question too. I have a particular fondness for Manfred, but, you know that's, that's a very particular relationship. I would say, like, I think what you've done with Solas is really sexy [...]

Zach: Dorian is really cute too. Yeah. [...] the mustache. Dig that guy.

Ali: Well, he's sitting right next to me, so this is a little embarrassing, but every time I heard Emmrich in my cans. Just, woooo. I might be on-board with all of the fans out there for Emmrich. If you'll have me, if you'll have me.

[?]: Thank you.

Panel: Thank you.

Audience member: So, the first game I played was Inquisition, and, this is not a knock, but, because, my reference would be Mass Effect, and I love that series. For Mass Effect 1 to Mass Effect 3, it seems the games was more streamlined. I'm getting the same feel from Inquisition to this one. Does that, what you can expect from gameplay-wise?

John: I mean, I don't think there's any, I don't think it's streamlined, it's. Again, each Dragon Age has been fundamentally different in its gameplay. We've tried things, seeing what works, seeing what didn't. In the case of The Veilguard, just like the other games, you wanna keep that tactical, strategic complexity and make that the centerpiece. And each one we focused on a little bit differently. In the case of this one, I think our skills in particular are some of the best we've done. There's some exciting combinations you do there, so.

Audience member: Thank you so much.

John: No worries.

[?]: Okay. There we are, okay.

Audience member: I was wondering what your favorite aspect was of the character you voiced?

Lucy: Ali, should we start with you this time?

Ali: I mean, so many layers, man, we're talking BioWare characters here! I think some of my favorite things about Lace Harding are the little things. Like, she loves her mom, you know, she loves to write letters home, she's always talking about her mama's soup and stuff like that. I love that relationship. She likes plants, and raising plants, which is inspirational, since I kill them. But just the texture they add to the characters, that's, in general, but for me, yeah, it's those little things that really kinda give me a bunch of stuff to work with in my brain, for bringing these characters to life.

Zach: I love the fact that Lucanis is a good cook. I just imagine him finishing a job and then going home, and, you know, cooking him a meal to kind've calm himself down, but with like the same knife he just used to murder somebody. He cleaned it of course, he cleaned it, but at the same time [...] -

Ali: I recommend my mama's soup.

Jessica: I really enjoyed, we sort've worked to bring, like, a noir element to Neve, and her being a private investigator, and so I really enjoyed leaning into that. And then she's just so dry, you know, like, things really mean a lot to her, but she's not necessarily gonna let you know that, you know what I mean? You have to kind've, like, discover that underneath. And, so I, I related to that, and I love that about her.

Ali: I was gonna say, 'I don't know anyone like that'.

Nick: I loved the, the fact that the writers just took Emmrich and explored the whole idea of death. The whole idea of necromancing, and, I really responded to that, I got into that, and bringing kindness into it, I know that sounds crazy, but it's to not have this idea that death is vulgar or kind've to be, something to be terrified about, but something to actually engage with on so many levels. I just thought the fact that the writers had the courage to do that in a game like this, I thought, it just blew my mind.

[?]: Thank you for the question.

Lucy: I think we have time for a couple more quick ones.

Audience member: Hi, okay, so first of all. Okay, hi, again. So, first of all, my dad just died, so [...]

[?]: Oh, I'm sorry.

Audience member: [...] Thank you. [...] So, [...] what you said about your take on Emmrich, really, really, I appreciated that. So, my question, to, I guess, John, would be, so, lore-wise, mechanically, not like story-telling-wise for the lore, how do you decide what lore goes in what games? Like, just, okay, so like, what decides what goes in Dragon Age 3, what goes in Dragon Age 4, what goes in Dragon Age 90-bajillion? Not from like a story perspective, right, but from, like a, what do we want to do, right?

John: Mhm. I mean it really does come down to, each one, as we build, it's, it's hard to say it as [...] something that we come [...], it's like, 'okay, we're gonna do it this way, this way, this way', mechanically, but, we kind've, we always know the base lore of the franchise, of the IP, and as we start to build the story, we start to see these opportunities to again, [...] speaking mechanically, bring certain elements in that make the most sense with the characters we're building and the story we're telling. We try not to overwhelm by saying a bunch, having a bunch of lore included that's not necessarily critical to the understanding of the story, but we always wanna expand the universe, and expand the IP, so.

Audience member: Thank you.

John: You're welcome.

Ali: And, can we please have a Dragon Age 90-bajillion?

John: I'd like that.

Ali[?]: That'd be amazing.

Audience member: Hi, I'm Matt. I've been a fan of Dragon Age since, actually, The Stolen Throne book, before I even knew there was like a game. And my question was, for the voice actors, one of my favorite things is the party banter. Was there any, like, lines of party banter that you recorded that you can say that just made you just, like, laugh, 'cause some of the party banter is pretty hilarious. Like, is there a certain thing that just sticks in your mind, whether you can say what it is, or just who it was with, like, so I can be on the lookout for it?

Ashley: I have one, it's so not appropriate. Do I have permission to say it?

Ali: That's what I was gonna say.

Zach: Yeah, say it.

Ashley: Listen for "hand-to-bone combat".

Lucy: I mean, do we end it there?

Ali[?]: And, scene.

Lucy: Well thank you so much everyone for coming to the panel. Thank you [...] Fall 2024.

[panel ends]

--

[source: DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC. BioWare have said that they are going to share the recording of the panel at a later date].

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I Saw the Phantom Proshot at the NYPL

Happy 36th birthday to Phantom's first preview on Broadway! I was going to save this post for the actual 36th, but I figure all of us need some more Phantom Broadway "original" content since the official Insta accounts are reminding us today that Phantom is no longer (though it should be) on Broadway. I'm going to post about what I saw, and I'll follow up on January 26 with all my answers!

Some time ago, @or-what-you-will and I went to the NYPL's Theater on Film and Tape Archive, and viewed the archival pro shot of the Original Broadway Cast of Phantom of the Opera, filmed live on May 25, 1988. There is only one copy, and its purpose is artistic preservation (not commercial distribution--the library owns it). It was kept under lock and key during the show's run. All information about how to access the archive is on the website. I can't really tell you anything more besides what's out there because it will become identifying. You get set up in a room with monitors and can pause and rewind, although you can't touch the media.

This was not my first TOFT proshot, but it was the best-filmed. Some, there's a single camera just parked, or there's some generation loss because of when the tape was transferred to digital. This had absolutely vivid colors, a multi-camera shot, and brilliant and clear soundboard audio. I heard lyrics I have never heard (especially during Notes when everyone is singing over one another), the sound balancing was so good. It was as transformative as seeing it live.

These are all the notes we took while there (apologize if they can seem disjointed) More below the cut.

ACT 1 NOTES: 

-Multicam shot

-amazing audio (soundboard), vivid colors

-Raoul/Barton is crying in his voice during the auction

-there’s a “voice” that sounds like a woman singing with the overture (maybe a theramin?) We jumped in shock at this. We've never heard this before, not even on soundboard.

-Sarah Brightman comes on stage during the Hannibal rehearsal, moving across the stage with Meg during “Rome not Roma”--so she dances in the front row during the Hannibal ballet

-Hannibal ballet then has 10 dancers and since Christine is in the whole thing, there is slightly different choreo

-there’s a synth under Meg’s “he’s there, the phantom of the opera” 

-Firmin lights a cigarette and Andre (Future Phantom Cris Groenendaal) stops him right before “Think of Me’ which makes the “Defense de Fumer” on the back of the curtain make even more sense

-Think of Me Gala skirt is not as full (but of note, Carlotta’s Elissa costume is much more ornate than we have now or even at the end of Broadway)

-Raoul sings slightly different notes in Think of Me. Steve Barton goes down a few notes on “young and innocent” (it’s not belted) and is clearly wistful. 

-The think of me cadenza is absolutely effortless

-The “Bravi, Bravi” is haunting and perfectly sound balanced!

-Meg can actually sing and the Angel of Music harmonies work

-Raoul (Steve Barton) is nervous before going into the dressing room. He taps his fingers on the banister and takes a deep breath before going in

-He’s also nervous inside the dressing room–you can see him going from seeing an old friend to suddenly having feelings, being attracted to her. When he’s standing behind her he has a slight moment when he nearly touches a lock of her hair. 

-Raoul is wearing a ring on his right hand (signet?)

-Steve Barton says MY Little Lotte

-Christine (Brightman) is excited about meeting the Angel of music and has a wanting and longing in “Enter at LAST master” (in a way that Lily Kerhoas does now and we haven’t had many Christines who do this) 

-The picture is VERY CLEAR and NO WASHOUT when we see Michael Crawford appear in the mirror for Phantom’s entrance. You see everything

-When the door opens for Raoul to the dressing room after they go through the mirror, it opens slowly (vs banging open). It’s the same tempo that Phantom moves to take Christine through the mirror

-1925 Phantom silhouette vibes at the first “sing for me” 

-Not a particularly aggressive cape twirl, but def a twirl. 

-They get VERY close on “turn your face away”, almost kiss (like, Russians, Panaro/Joseph close) 

- he has a nice portcullis sprawl but she does not press against him, there is visible space between them the entire time

-”Caress” and “hear it, feel it” are explicitly seductive, the former in how it’s sung, the latter because he self-caresses on “feel it”

-the “Touch me” in touch me/trust me is half sung/half spoken order, she strokes her hand over the mask and he does not pull away

-He does have a little panic when she faints and he covers her with the cloak. He’s holding her hair when he sings to her there

-At the unmasking, MC holds for a brief moment before covering his face with his hand so the audience gets a peek of the deformity (before “damn you”) 

-Vixen not viper

-Crawls on knees, not stomach. We get…lots of crying and whimpering 

-Christine sees his face a lot during this sequence. MC lowers his hand as soon as he’s on her side of the stage from “secretly dreams of beauty” to ���Oh Christine”, when he turns away–but she is looking at him the entire time. MC is angled right by a mirror shard so we can see a bit of the deformity reflected back

-Right before “come we must return”, MC is about to cup her face with both his hands before changing his mind–she starts to reach for him as well. 

-His Mandarin robe is much longer than we have now (ankle length vs calf length) 

-This Giry has witch vibes

-Steve Barton is playing eager puppy Raoul and it shows even though he looks older (Barton was 35 at the time)

-The sound balancing is so good that you can hear lines you don’t normally hear during Notes 1 and Prima Donna–including the Managers thinking that Christine has just been off with Raoul all night. 

-Sarah Brightman does a different pose on the bed as the pageboy during Il Muto. She crosses her legs vs putting her hands on her hips. 

-Firmin yells “the role of Christine Daae” to the proscenium, clearly directed at Phantom

-Barton Raoul’s “There is no Phantom of the Opera” comes off more as “Christine this is just some dude” vs “he doesn’t exist at all.” 

-Raoul loves Christine so much. He strokes her hair gently to comfort her right before “No more talk of darkness”--his eyes are soft and he’s genuinely caring and concerned (vs trying to be a hero) 

-”All I ask is for one love one lifetime”--different lyrics, she does it twice (This is on soundboards from the time)

-Raoul puts his face to Christine’s hands at the proposal. 

-Christine is clearly kissing his cheek right next to his mouth during the kiss (the final lair kiss is a real kiss) 

-Christine’s “I must go” is not as playful as we often see it later. She really is trying to go. 

-Raoul is nervous at “Christine, I love you”--he lowers his head for a moment worried that he said something wrong. He’s excited when she replies “order your fine horses”

-AIAOY Reprise: Michael Crawford is partially slumped over the angel, he’s holding hands with it to the audience’s right, and arm is slumped over on the left. We get a lot of anguished weeping, and little distressed moans as Christine and Raoul sing, there is rocking and head shaking and then covering his ears. It’s a HUGE difference then when he stands up fully for “You will curse” (he does this again during final lair between “unfeeling scrap of clothing” and “pity comes too late) 

-He also roars before standing

-The Phantom laugh/cackle continues well into the chandelier drop into intermission at the light cut out for about 15 seconds. 

Act II

-Carlotta masquerade costume has no mesh in the skirt–it’s much more of a see-through skeleton crinoline, so the feature is the purple tights

-Not surprising since Sarah Brightman is a dancer, but Christine does the proper choreography during Masquerade--she's the center of attention. Barton also does quite a bit of dancing.

-There’s an organ (almost like a circus organ) underlying the finale during masquerade

-Red Death double doesn’t run down the stairs, he stays at the top

-Giry/Raoul exchange after masquerade–both holding the lantern and super closeup

-Reyer is clearly gay–coded. Some voice and hand gestures during Sitzprobe

-Wishing–only one “help me say goodbye” (when did the second one get added?)

-”Far-reaching” gaze, Wandering Child is a duet

-Piangi says “conquest” is assured (at some point, this became “congress”)

-Michael Crawford imitates Piangi until “past the point…”

-Sarah as Christine is listening intently to Phantom’s voice and immediately noticed something is off–she doesn’t figure it out right away but she notices something. She is suspicious the entire time. It's not clear when she knows for certain.

-Christine never flees from him, during the first caresses, he hovers over her body, she turns to kiss him, he turns away, her hand lingers on her back, before she gets up to sing her solo part away from the table

-Michael Crawford’s hands are in in his crotch when Christine’s singing on the other side of the stage (“you have come here”)--he’s moving his palms in his lap the whole time, his hands are shaking, we only get glimpses of him, most of this part it’s focused on her

-There is none of the arm waving circling while their hands are held, she takes his hands, he switches his grip to hold one of hers, and they keep them on him

-She figures it out when she reaches down–she’s holding his hands above him and she pushes her left (our right) hand down and he pulls and she notices something–we can only see to his upper waist but her hand disappears and her expression changes, it’s implied he has an erection

-she doesn’t ever feel the mask, either accidentally or on purpose

-She doesn’t actually ever try to escape. It’s not the current West End or the past blocking–but more accurate in that she is aware of the situation and plays along. She keeps going with the blocking

-they both get up and keep singing, neither drags the other to the centre, they move together and keep singing 

-The last “return”--he sings it at the unhooding, she doesn’t

-”Say you’ll share with me”--he is really pleading and almost crying on “say you want me” 

-The managers don’t come out to try to usher her offstage, she doesn’t signal to them to stay

-When Phantom gives her the ring, she takes it, but doesn’t put it on–she just holds it

-He doesn’t scream at the unmasking, he just looks shocked and sad

-Ratcatcher order is different–it’s after Raoul and Giry’s first lines, that’s the indication that Giry needs to turn around, Giry screams

-Phantom is crying at “flesh” and through “unfeeling scrap of clothing”, he’s also hunched over through this sequence, and then stands to his full height at “Pity comes too late.”

-Phantom makes a big show of raising the portcullis, hands fully raised

-Raoul swats at Erik with one hand (the other is still on the noose) when Phantom grabs Christine on “start a new life” 

-Phantom is probably the “minimum” amount of rough as we see Phantoms be with Christine in this sequence, as in, he’s definitely scary and menacing but he’s not harming her. He does grab her and spin her around on “start a new life with me.” There are a few wrist grabs (which is book accurate). He’s realizing more that his plan is absolutely crumbling. We get some shots of him on the organ looking panicked.

-Phantom makes a low growling noise before “you try my patience”, which is delivered quickly and almost casually. It is not menacing as some later Phantoms do. 

-”Pitiful creature”..MC’s hand is subtly shaking by his side

-The kiss: the 1st one MC stands with “claw hands” at his side, on the second one, the “claw hands” start shaking

-MC hunches over after he burns the noose

-He stands over the monkey, conducting it with one hand, he is mimicking the symbol clashes, he doesn’t touch it or cover its face

-When Christine returns the ring, his hand shakes as he takes it, he’s hunched over again. 

-She does seem conflicted about leaving, but she doesn’t press her hand back around his, she holds out the ring and his hand shakes as she takes it. She doesn’t linger very long. 

-He says a second “I love you” after she’s gone.

-He’s about to say it a third time, he says “I love…” and then see the veil, and grabs it and screams into it, and then turns and sees the boat leaving

-He sobs and keens a lot

-Raoul bends in the boat to caress Christine’s face on “say the word”)--this is halfway across the stage as opposed to during the stage right exit.

-Deliberately cracks voice on the "can" in “you alone can make” 

-MC Cradling the veil like a baby at the very end

SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS! You can put it in comments, reblogs, AMA or DM's. I will answer all of them on January 26!

[fascinating-yarn]

So You Want To Know About Chess The Musical

So you want to know about Chess. The first piece of advice I have to give you is:

Step 0: Are you sure?

Because trust me, it's a whole lot weirder than you think, even if you know that the story is, in fact, only very little about chess (the board game). But if you are sure, because you have a friend who, like me, can't stop talking about it, then, you're ready to begin with step one.

Step 1: Listen to the concept album

Yes, there are plenty of recordings of the full show that are easily accessible on YouTube. Do not be fooled. With very minor exceptions, they will not elucidate anything at all. Trust me, even if your favorite actor is in one of them, start here. You will have time to get back to them later, trust me. It helps to read the synopsis of the album while listening; this has been kindly transcribed here by @alovebizarre.

Already hooked? Yeah, probably. Now you understand why all of us got stuck down here in our circle of complaining about this show. We, too, all thought it was going to be good based on the concept album.

Step 1.5: Watch the 1989 concert

This is mostly the songs of the concept album and retains the two male leads, but has Judy Kuhn playing Florence, the female lead. It's a strong concert and only cuts one song, and adds another ("Someone Else's Story", the show's only breakout hit not on the album). There is plot narration in Swedish, but one of the versions on YouTube has been subtitled in English

Step 2: Acquaint yourself with The Big Four

Now you know the music but the plot may still not be totally clear. The next step is to get to know the major variations. These are, generally:

The 1986 London version (and derivatives)

The 1988 Broadway version (and derivatives)

The 1990 Sydney version (there aren't really derivatives for this one but the material shows up Everywhere)

The 2002 Swedish version aka Chess på svenska (and derivatives)

Now, you can watch the original productions of all of these, but the issue is that the first two are both... not great. So here are some alternatives.

Step 2a: London Alternatives

The London version is mostly an expansion of the plot of the concept album, with changes - most of the structural changes were initiated by director Michael Bennett, who left the production before rehearsals due to his illness, while most of the more distinct changes of themes are from later director Trevor Nunn.

There are videos of the original production, but they're generally poorly filmed and suffer from major generation loss. There was no cast album, but the score has been recorded twice: in 2002 with the cast of a Danish touring production (released as "Chess: Complete Cast Album," but recalled soon after and not on streaming) and in 2008 at the Royal Albert Hall (this is on streaming as "Chess in Concert" - one of two albums of that name).

Any one will give you an idea of the script, but the original London production is generally the most musically cohesive. The Royal Albert Hall version has some minor script changes, most of which make no real difference, but makes some bizarre choices in terms of transition music and is generally a poorly produced album. The Danish album is likewise not very strong.

The Royal Albert Hall concert was professionally filmed but the audio is poorly mixed and the show's cast varies from a few great performances to some that are... not so much. It's also got a track record of making people either latch on immediately or be totally turned away from the show, so watch at your own risk. For a possibly better experience, watch the original London production.

Step 2b: Broadway Alternatives

The original Broadway production still has a bit of a bad reputation in the fandom, but people have generally warmed up to it. The new book, by American playwright Richard Nelson, is generally strong (if a bit overlong) until about halfway through Act Two --- at which point it suddenly isn't anymore. The original production itself doesn't help, and though there are some good moments, it was not very well directed and some of Nelson's best scenes suffer.

Firstly, you should listen to the Broadway cast album. The cast is the best part of the show and does some incredible things. The new music isn't quite as good as the original material, but is still strong and worth knowing.

In terms of the actual book, your best chance at a good experience experience is probably the 1990 Long Beach production directed by David H. Bell and starring Jodi Benson, which has a watchable video online. There are some script changes, which serve to adjust the script to be less cynical, more palatable, and better paced. After this, do go back and watch the original cast, as it generally has a stronger overall cast and some scenes are genuinely great with them.

Step 2c: Sydney and Svenska

The Sydney production closed early due to the economic recession in Australia, and the script has never been revived, but parts of it appear all over the place, especially in the London derivatives of the early 1990s. It takes bits of the plots of both London and Broadway, and becomes its own thing. It is worth knowing, and there is a mostly bearable bootleg on YouTube.

If Sydney is its own thing for being a combination of London and Broadway, Svenska is its own thing because it resembles neither. The plot is streamlined to the essentials and takes place over a much shorter period of time, plus it has two new songs. There is a proshot that has been uploaded to YouTube with subtitles, and a very good cast album. There have been some productions since based on the script, but the original is still going to be your best starting point.

Step 3: Into The Abyss

There are so many other productions and they're all a little different from each other. Most are based on London or Broadway, but some are an odd combination resulting from people who wanted to produce the London version in the US being forced to retrofit the Broadway version (unavailable for US licensing until 2008). A non-exhaustive list is:

1992 Off-Broadway: Preserved only in an incomplete, poor-quality audio bootleg, plus a slightly more complete script from a lost recording, this script is Tim Rice's first (but not last) attempt at making something definitive post-Broadway. It is one of the most bizarre scripts out there and should really be experienced late to be fully appreciated.

1990 US Tour: An early attempt to jump off the Broadway script into something new, this production stars 42.9% of the original Broadway cast of Falsettos and has some wild stuff. Don't watch till you know Broadway, since it has been known to sour people's opinions on the show.

2003 Actors' Fund Benefit Concert: This one-night only concert is preserved on a leaked (but poor quality) archival video and a higher quality rehearsal performance. The script is an attempted hybrid of the London and Broadway scripts, but leans mostly on the London script with a few Broadway changes that serve really only to stay within the legal requirements of production still in place at the time (and doubly important due to Nelson's personal support of the concert).

2018 Kennedy Center Concert Series/2022 Entertainment Workers' Fund Benefit Concert: This script was eyeing Broadway for about five years but is no longer in the works as the rights were pulled. With a new book by Danny Strong, based on the London plot but with the details changed significantly, this production takes a more overtly political spin on the show and grounds it in actual political events. Start with the 2018 version, as it's generally agreed to be better than the later concert version.

2018 London Revival: To call this production a revival is generous, being staged by the English National Opera for a limited run and generally not being considered very important. It became well known mostly for being associated with the Kennedy Center production and the general knowledge that Rice was looking to bring the show back to Broadway. Despite that, this script is entirely unrelated to the Kennedy Center version and is mostly an onstage expansion of the concept album with the show being influenced heavily by Benny and Bjorn.

With all of these I have but one piece of final advice and that is:

Step 4: Be wary of The Discourse

This is not meant to scare you away from the fandom at all. I promise we're all very friendly and most of the discussions are quite civil. But every fan has very strong opinions about this show. I have tried to present this post as neutrally as possible but my bias has absolutely creeped in and you've already been influenced by my opinions on it. Some productions (notably the Kennedy Center script) are very divisive and I encourage you to consume them yourself and forming your own opinions.

And that is how to get into Chess. If you want to. It may not be the wisest decision, but hey, we all made the same mistake.

[perplexingly]

I've been wanting to write a description of the Watermill Theatre's Lord of the Rings musical for these who were unable to see it, so I'll mention some of the things that stood out to me.

Also first of all, I saw that @emeraldskulblaka was kind enough to compile a masterpost about the musical, sharing the available videos and audios here

Now to the Watermill production:

The audience was encouraged to come 30min before the start of the show to celebrate Bilbo's 111 birthday.

During that time the actors were playing music, talking with the audience, playing games with the audience, I almost got hit in the face as Gimli in front of me failed to catch a ring that was thrown at him : D I saw there are some recordings of this part around, eg:

While still outdoors, the play started seemlessly with Bilbo's iconic birthday speech. After his disappearing act (in a puff of smoke), we moved indoors and while the audience was settling down, Frodo sat on stage all sad perusing letters

This stage is very tiny but they used it in a clever way; eg. there were moments when, to show the distance, the actors would say their lines behind the audience on the upper ring. They would also utilise the doors at the center stage or the ladders on the sides to climb on. The lighting also gave each scene a lot of character:

Also each actor doubled as a musician, often playing on the edges of the stage but still in full view, giving this interesting illusion of environment.

I think my favourite moment of using actors as parts of the environment was during Sam and Frodo's Now and for Always duet: once they started singing, Bilbo came to sit on the edge, in the shadow, just looking at them, and with each verse a new hobbit/musician came behind, hanging out in the shadows and giving this dreamy idea of Shire. And when Sam fell asleep, there was Rosie coming a bit forward to caress him.

Another such wonderful moment was near the end, when Frodo could go no longer and Sam helped him. The earlier situation when Sam fought off Shelob with Eärendil's light reminded the viewer of Galadriel's - and the elves - indirect help. And when Sam put his arms around Frodo to guide him, quietly, in the shadows around them illusions of elves appeared to show them the way and to catch them when they stumbled.

Speaking about the plot point - act 1 encompassed the first of the trilogy while the second act the other two. To achieve this condensation in the second act, most characters that were not directly related to the fellowship were either removed or merged with other, eg. Denethor and Theoden were combined into one, with the Rohan/Gondor politics removed altogether. But honestly, I thought it was the smarter choice, as we get the time to get attached to the main cast.

One more thing I'd like to mention were the practical effects. While ents were just an off-stage voice, when they were talking there were leafs falling down from the ceiling. But the most impressive was Shelob, which was a giant puppet with real-like leg movement, mostly in shadow except for the reflective eyes. I saw that there's an early test for Shelob posted on Instagram:

Also, I talked about Gollum in an earlier post, but I just wanted to make a quick illustration of the adorable moment between Gollum and Bilbo that I saw in the epilogue:

[liarsandleechespod]

Looking for your next horror audio drama?

Welcome to "Liars & Leeches," an immersive, full cast, supernatural horror audio drama. The first original audio drama from Hemlock Creek Productions (@hemcreekprod), “Liars & Leeches” delves deep into the complicated horrors of grief, trauma, resilience, and steadfast human determination to uncover the truth.

Grief. Anxiety. Terror. Tonya Wright felt it all after the tragic murders of her sister and brother-in-law in a random act of gun violence. Struggling to travel outside of her home, she now lives constantly on edge about perceived threats that seem to surround her. Retreating to the house her sister and brother-in-law once shared to process her grief, Tonya soon discovers that someone — or something — has followed her there. With the help of her best friend Natalie, and others she meets along the way, can Tonya overcome her fears before they completely consume her?

You might enjoy "Liars & Leeches" if you like:

Psychological and supernatural horror like Stephen King's "The Outsider"

A creeping sense of dread or a feeling of something being "off" like "Get Out."

Tension building through sound design, especially in quiet moments like "A Quiet Place" (which was a massive source of sonic inspiration for the show)

Audio dramas such as "Dark Dice," "Dark Sanctum," "Maxine Miles," "Aftershock," "Transplanar RPG," and "Connections," as Hemlock Creek Productions assisted with audio editing for all of them.

Soundtracks like those from "Yellowjackets," "Smile," "Chernobyl," "Broadchurch," and "The Rising," all of which were used as inspirations for the music in "Liars & Leeches."

Some other facts about the show:

Season 1 is complete with a run time a little over four hours. Season 2 is currently in pre-production.

We have transcripts available for every episode of the show, as well as video versions of each episode on YouTube that are fully subtitled.

We have won awards for best horror/thriller podcast, best podcast, and best leading performance in an audio drama. We have also been nominated for additional awards including best director, best sound design (action), best supporting performance in an audio drama, and best music/score (podcast).

We have "Liars & Leeches" merch available on Streamlabs, as well as the soundtrack from season 1 available on Bandcamp.

If you're interested in listening to "Liars & Leeches," you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts. If you do listen, feel free to toss us a review there, or on Podchaser, and let us know what you think!

Don't be afraid, just have a taste.

[see-arcane]

Oof augh argh my heart

Once again @re-dracula is proving to be THE only Dracula adaptation to do this story and its characters justice

The horror-sting in discovering not only that Dracula is trying to erase his tracks, but that it now has a body count (RIP to his agent)

The exuberance of Mina in Isabel Adomakoh Young's voice as she marches head-on into connecting the vital dots to realize where Dracula is and how to track him--and the ultimate chokehold on her courage and love as she must ultimately part ways with Jonathan for the final rush of the chase

The lacing of audio-action under Van Helsing's dialogue as he dishes out his last group-rousing speech where they're all together

The sharper dramatic tone under Jonathan's words as Ben Galpin finally, finally gets to give full heart-tearing voice to that brief but electric rant at--with biting emphasis--Professor van Helsing--about the danger he means to drag Mina into unexcused and unexplained, hammering home the reminder of what all there is to worry for in the future...

On the heels of that, Galpin and the soundscape design managed to bring new ominous life into something I had previously only half-noticed before:

"Do as you will," said Jonathan, with a sob that shook him all over, "we are in the hands of God!"

[...]

My only comfort is that we are in the hands of God. Only for that faith it would be easier to die than to live, and so be quit of all the trouble.

I never thought of those lines being delivered with such a subtle but disquieting pitch of despair rather than hope. As if the speaker very much does have faith in God, but he only knows so from God's proven fallibility--and knows that same fickle Power is the one carelessly juggling all their fates.

And that ending handful of lines, delivered with such a quiet crushing weight of the eerie:

It is a wild adventure we are on. Here, as we are rushing along through the darkness, with the cold from the river seeming to rise up and strike us; with all the mysterious voices of the night around us, it all comes home. We seem to be drifting into unknown places and unknown ways; into a whole world of dark and dreadful things. Godalming is shutting the furnace door....

The way it's directed, the way it's voiced, the way it's all couched in the sort of cinematic beat of hush before the characters walk blindfolded into some fresh Hell, it all seems to turn over some mental stone in my head to reveal I've been walking past gold with each re-read of the novel.

Just

wow

Wow wow wow this podcast

It makes such a difference. There's so much more flavor and so many more facets in how Re: Dracula delivers the story beyond any mere audiobook, and worlds beyond any adaptation I've ever sat through. A million thank yous to the cast and crew.

Gonna go re-listen again

[chip-and-ironicus]

The Disappearances of Lydia Fountayne is a new audio drama! I (Grant) have been cast in it, I'm so glad you can listen and enjoy the first episode, and I'd love for this team to make more. Let's go through those points one at a time.

DoLF (DiLF if you're nasty) is a "magical surrealist" story about a young woman and her friends caught in adventure and intrigues they never imagined. It's about big data, surveillance, and the global, digital panopticon. It's about scheming uncles (I play one of those). It's about a talking bird. According to Dee, it's about Dee. You can listen to the premiere and learn more here

Today we announced the launch day watch-along premiere, set for Monday the 3rd at 6pm eastern, 3pm pacific, and 11pm for our friends in Ireland and Great Britain. Spooky. It will be on the Moonshot Podcast Network's youtube channel.

Our website also has a link to the Kickstarter campaign. That's how we get to make the rest of the story. It's also launching on Monday, and running for a month. Available rewards include advance access, outtakes, scripts, a suspicious envelope, and more. But the most important reward is making a full season of an independent, original, and exciting audio drama possible and viable.

So listen now, and listen again with us on Monday! I've been talking about this a lot on podcast guest appearances, and soon I'll be collecting those once they're all out. For now, I'll leave you with one last link to https://www.lydiadisappears.com/ and our video trailer:

[fiotrethewey]

Hi guys!

Err life update? I guess. I should do these more often.

If you haven't been living under a rock, I've been making @theholmwoodfoundation with @georgiacooked you should absolutely check that out if you like horror, ghosts, the Dracula novel, Sean Carlsen being exasperated or any of the writing either of us have done. I say this with full honestly that I am so very proud of the work we have put in, and the cast and crew have done amazing things with the script.

Also, for those into Gallifrey - it's full of BF Gallifrey Alumni!! (Also I honestly had no idea until later Rebecca Root was in Time War, wtf!) I think it's something very special, and I hope to think the Gallifrey fandom will enjoy a lot of the themes, but that is of course for you to decide.

I mean, Sean swears constantly in it. You all want to hear that don't you?

Kickstarter goes live on the 15th, along with the pilot so please do check it out! The Holmwood Foundation by Georgia Cook — Kickstarter

--

Other life things! Well, I'm now almost 7 months on HRT. and transitioning is going super well! I'm also a year since my top surgery.

Left: Pre HRT in March. Right: 7 months later.

And Georgia and I are finally looking to move in together very soon. (Yes, starting an audio drama, and moving house might be what the cards hold for next year, thanks life for doing everything at once.)

Here's two pics of us looking super cute from the other weekend. I tried to take pics at Gallifrey Cabaret but it was too dark :(

It's been one hell of a year so far and the world can still be a very scary place for people like me but I have love in my corner and we are trying out best.

--

Lastly, Georgia and I are working with @audiodramahub as part of the team to create a Podcast Festival on November 2nd! The Riverside Club, High Wycombe (UK)!

This year the group have a focus on sound design and production - featuring:

Emperor of the Daleks NICHOLAS BRIGGS as Keynote speaker

Sound Design and Fundraising Panels and Workshops (That Georgia and I are supporting!)

Voice Acting Workshop with Sarah Golding and Karim Kronfli

Speed Date Networking

IF YOU ARE IN THE UK (and can get to High Wycombe)!

Tickets can be found here

Not a podcaster and just want to see some audio dramas live? Evening only tickets are available too!

There are other things I want to talk about that I've been involved in, but I can't yet, but I'm hoping I can very very soon :)

I hope you're all doing well! Thanks for reading!

[pers-books]

Jodie Whittaker returns to Doctor Who 

Big Finish Productions, in partnership with BBC Studios, today announces the first ever Thirteenth Doctor audio dramas as Jodie Whittaker returns to the Whoniverse alongside Mandip Gill as Yasmin Khan.  

First seen on screen in 2017, Jodie Whittaker made TV history as the first female incarnation of the beloved Time Lord in Doctor Who.  

Now she’s back in a brand-new series of twelve, hour-long, full-cast audio adventures in time and space, due to be released from July 2025. By her side in the TARDIS, as ever, will be her best friend Yaz, once again played by Mandip Gill.  

Jodie Whittaker said: “I’m over the moon to be joining Big Finish for more adventures in the TARDIS. Recording the Thirteenth Doctor and Yaz is a really lovely thing to revisit. One of the things Mandip and I used to love on Doctor Who was getting in, doing a new episode and meeting a brand-new cast. I just can’t wait to step back into the boots, pull on the coat and get cracking. One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be brilliant.” 

Mandip Gill added: “Doctor Who has been a huge part of my career and personal life and I am looking forward to seeing how I can further enrich my character through this exhilarating series. To be able to work with Jodie again is a dream come true, we have such a special friendship, I’m sure the recordings will be filled with laughter.” 

Big Finish’s Chairman, Jason Haigh-Ellery said: “This year Big Finish is celebrating its 25th anniversary of producing full-cast Doctor Who audio drama – so, when we were granted the licence to create new stories set during the Thirteenth Doctor’s era, we immediately set to work.  

“I am delighted that the inimitable Jodie and Mandip have decided to return to their roles with us and I’m excited to welcome them to Big Finish. Alongside our two other forthcoming series for the Fugitive Doctor (played by Jo Martin) and the Master (played by Sacha Dhawan), 2025 has never looked brighter for the Thirteenth Doctor and her fam.” 

Big Finish’s Creative Director, Nicholas Briggs added: “Jodie and Mandip were so welcoming to me when I worked on set with them in the TV show, so I’m looking forward to repaying the compliment. They’re lovely people and they’re full of enthusiasm for this project.” 

Big Finish listeners can now pre-order The Thirteenth Doctor Adventures, starting at just £11.99 (per story on collector’s edition CD + download) or £9.99 (download only) exclusively from www.bigfinish.com.  

A complete series multibuy bundle of all twelve releases is also available to pre-order at the specially discounted price of £126 (on collector’s edition CD + download) or £102 (download only), again exclusively from the Big Finish website.  

All the above prices include the special pre-order discount and are subject to change after general release. 

Please note that Big Finish is currently operating a digital-first release schedule. The mail-out of collector’s edition CDs may be delayed due to factors beyond our control, but all purchases of this release unlock a digital copy that can be immediately downloaded or played on the Big Finish app from the release date.

[stationarcadia]

Announcement

Hello everyone. This is J. R. Steele on the Station Arcadia account today bringing you some updates, announcements, etc.

Firstly, you may have noticed that our website domain is currently unused. We've recently taken down our website, but failed to consider that transcripts would no longer be available. The link to our transcripts will replace the link in our profile bio. Thank you to everyone in the discord server who has been patient with our radio silence, and have updated us on what they need to access.

Second, we want to apologize for dropping off after Season 1. With Season 2 in full production; myself, Andy, and Eli were incredibly overwhelmed by both college, and the responsibility of managing not only a company, but our cast and crew who were also getting burnt out. Pushing this production was proving to be detrimental to our mental and physical health, and so we just left it to sit for a while.

I've been doing my best when possible to reply to folks on discord, and get organized for our next steps, but going radio silent was not the best solution, we know now. As 17/18 year olds, we sort of panicked when everything started to go less smoothly. In addition to that, college apparently takes up a LOT of time? I certainly wasn't expecting that... /lh

But we are not abandoning this podcast. 2020 was a hard year for so many people, but Station Arcadia was the highlight of mine and many others' year. A lot of creatives experienced the hardships of continuing a creative project once real life came back, and we did too. But we managed to create an incredible first season, and a little bit of a second season.

Season 2 does exist! But not in its full form. Over the course of maybe the next few months, or years, the executive team will be discussing how to distribute our content so that you amazing, supportive folks can have full access to our baby. Our writers, worldbuilders, audio editors, musicians, cast members, and everyone else who helps to make this show happen worked incredibly hard to do S2, and we won't let any of that hard work go to waste.

Third, a few internal snags have hit us pretty hard over the past year now. We will not be releasing this information until we've spoken fully with our entire production team and our cast (but rest assured it's nothing too severe).

We've loved our time with every single cast member who has joined this ambitious project. And if any of you have a specific question, we will not hesitate to answer it. It may reach us quicker if you DM or email me (Jaymes) at penofsteele@gmail.com. I will do my best to respond concisely and truthfully.

Lastly, we want to say a few words of thanks to the folks who have stuck with us since the beginning, have supported us both financially and verbally, and have had faith in this project. We promise that even though it will take time, we will not disappoint you!

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Stay safe, stay moving, and please stick close. We'll be back soon.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB: A list of thoughts on the Campfire Scene

Ok I went to sleep for another hour to calm myself down and now I can form coherent thoughts about the scene and not just scream and squeal

It's a three-minute scene with two shots. The first shot is a little over two minutes

When Alex asks his question, Henry, who was looking into the fire, tilts his head towards Alex as if to listen better. After Alex finishes, Henry looks up towards the sky, like he's wondering how to answer

Alex doesn't really react to Henry's "Once upon a time" even though he's not directly answering Alex's question. He just listens, and that's such a beautiful thing

Nick deserves a round of applause for this scene, his monologue was two minutes long, and monologues are really hard to perform because it's just you who keeps talking, you don't really get to react to other things or people, it's just you, so Nick is a fantastic job

Nick's delivery and tone, and the way he sometimes ends a sentence a bit like a question (ex: "acutely") makes it sound like Henry's been thinking about this story/ metaphor for a while but this is the first time he ever verbalizes it, so while he knows what he wants to talk about thus he doesn't need to pause a lot to think of the story, he does occasionally need to think of the next word or line because again, he never actually said any of this out loud before, and Nick does that so well

@pippin-katz pointed out that Nick misspoke and said "sent the suit a prince of armour" which is hilarious, and while because movie, this shouldn't happen, realistically we all have moments where we mix words up so it almost feels more... authentic? Also, I didn't pick it up but now that Pippin mentioned it I'm really aware of it lmao

Also Henry/Nick's voice here is so soothing? I can almost imagine him telling bedtime stories to his and Alex's kids like this in the future. I wonder if Henry would write children's books because it feels like it'd be something he do and something he could write really well, if this clip is anything to go by. Plus I stumbled across an audio of Nick reading "The Emperor's New Clothes" before (I literally have no context of why he was reading that and it was literally just audio, not sure if I can find it anymore) and it was so soothing and calming that I fell asleep to it one night. Besides the full-cast RWRB audiobook that I'm practically demanding at this point, I wonder if he would be interested in doing more audiobook/narration stuff. He's really got the voice for it

The King sending a suit of armour to protect the prince's heart kind of further proves my point of the King being a much more loving grandparent to Henry than the queen in the book, and him worrying more about Henry himself than the image of the crown. He noticed that 1, Henry is an emotionally sensitive person, 2, Henry is gay, and both of those things could be turned against him easily, and he will get hurt. He does love Henry, just not in a way that's good for Henry. If we get a sequel I do hope we can see them reconcile in one way or another. It'd be a nice example for people in the same positions.

The "Nothing will ever happen to him" line!!!! I wrote a whole essay about Kensington and this line because somehow this line was one of the most powerful ones to me, but to know that it was originally Henry's word just adds another level of pain to the Kensington scene

You can see Henry's face light up when he starts talking about the peasant boy. And Alex's quick eyebrow raise and deep chuckle. It's so beautiful, I wanna cry

We talk about Alex's heart eyes, which, yes, but Henry's look of pure adoration and love at Alex when he says "Truly Alive" makes me want to melt

I yelled a little at Alex when he started to lay back down (as in I verbally shouted "DAMMIT ALEX LOOK AT YOUR MAN") because I felt like if Alex saw Henry's face in the following lines he'd figure out Henry has issues earlier? But then I saw a take saying the shot was framed like theatre where Henry's both centre stage and in the spotlight so the focus is on him, so Alex was designed to lay back down on the timber bench to make the entire space for Henry

Henry's look of sad longing when he talks about the peasant boy pulling apart his armor is heartbreaking

I wonder if this was originally planned to be the changing point from Alex's POV to Henry's POV? Because in that case I do think the lake scene worked better as a changing point

I also wonder how did Henry end the story in his head up to this point? Because as hopefully as the last line is, at this point in the story, Henry still doesn't believe he can keep this

I get why scenes are cut because when you're putting together a movie, there are a lot of things you don't see for individual scenes until you put them together. This is why as much as I want the cast and crew to get the premiere they deserve to have, I don't really want an extended cut of the movie, because things were cut for a good reason

That being said, if the cornetto scene and this scene proved anything, is that the scenes themselves are fascinating, and I WANT THEM ALL

[mouseknightstudios]

Ghost InSpectors - Episode 3: Seeking Spiritual Guidance

This week, our favorite ghostly detectives are communing with the living. Episode 3 of Ghost InSpectors is out now on all podcast platforms!

“The detectives and Oliver pay a visit to Ned’s psychic Sharon, where they make a shocking discovery.”

Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube

If you’re enjoying the show, consider leaving a rating on your podcast player and sharing it with a friend! We really appreciate all your support!

Ghost InSpectors is a full cast supernatural mystery audio drama about friendship, ghost shenanigans, and moving on. Created by Victoria Cheng. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Heading into the 50th season of Saturday Night Live, fans of the show and its original cast may feel they already know all of the lore surrounding them and their iconic characters, such as how Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi took two white guys in black suits and rocketed The Blues Brothers to the top of the charts with a multi-platinum album in 1978 and a subsequent movie in 1980 that co-starred Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and James Brown—and in doing so, revitalized the careers of those music legends. And yet, somehow, there are revelations aplenty in a new two-hour oral history, Blues Brothers: The Arc of Gratitude, debuting Thursday exclusively on Audible.

Aykroyd, now 72, narrates and presides over the retrospective, which features previously unheard audio from Belushi (who died in 1982), some of the last testimony of his widow, Judith Belushi Pisano (who died earlier this month), as well as anecdotes from Blues Brothers musical director Paul Shaffer, band members Lou Marini and Steve Jordan, plus drummer Willie Hall, Belushi’s real-life inspiration Curtis Salgado, filmmaker John Landis, and his wife, costume designer Deborah Nadoolman Landis.

As Belushi’s widow explains, the real origin story of The Blues Brothers involved a lot more than what we saw on screen.

“They were characters. No doubt about it,” Pisano recalls. “They were somewhat alter-egos, as well. They were sort of characters on the stage of life. It wasn’t a bit, exactly, that they ended up doing. I know that it’s often referred to The Blues Brothers as developed from a skit on Saturday Night Live, and you know, that’s really just not true. It’s not how it happened.”

From road trips to roadhouses to 30 Rock

While the Aykroyd-Belushi partnership officially began on stage in Toronto at The Second City—after which they did listen to a live blues band that very first night and share their common tastes in music—the idea for them to perform music in addition to comedy came a bit later when the duo drove cross-country. “They sort of jokingly said, let’s do a band,” Pisano recalls. Belushi, then already a star of The National Lampoon’s off-Broadway musical, Lemmings, as well as The National Lampoon Radio Hour, had recruited Aykroyd from Toronto, and he was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the studio apartment Belushi shared with Pisano on Bleecker Street.

Belushi would get up onstage with bands in NYC or on road trips and sing the old Robert Johnson tune, “Sweet Home Chicago,” which Pisano says “was a well-known, popular, easy to play song.” Lorne Michaels saw one of Belushi’s performances and suggested he do it to warm up the studio audience at Saturday Night Live. Belushi got Aykroyd involved. Willie Nelson gave Jake and Elwood their first big break

Belushi already had befriended Willie Nelson, according to Aykroyd, and they laid out their initial concept for a blues band to Nelson backstage during his residency at The Lone Star Cafe, a former nightclub on Fifth Avenue. “Within a few minutes, Willie had agreed to lend us his band as a backup for a trial show in which Jake and Elwood would open for him,” Aykroyd says. He and Belushi learned a few songs for the gig. “The reaction was favorable, although clear that neither John nor I were conservatory-trained artists, we had a good feel for the music, and we knew how to feature an all-star band.”

Comedian Lenny Bruce helped inspire their signature look

“The wardrobe was inspired by Lenny Bruce, who always wore a dark suit, black string tie and white shirt,” Aykroyd says. “The hat and shades were meant to emulate John Lee Hooker from the photo on the cover of his album House of the Blues. It delighted us that we were compared to IRS agents, Men in Black, and the reference in the movie when Aretha Franklin says that we resemble Hasidic diamond merchants.”

“They found the stuff in thrift shops,” Pisano adds, “and then once the movie hit, they were on—you got yourself a designer, and custom-made suits before you know it.”

Enter Landis’s wife, costume designer Deborah Nadoolman Landis, who had outfitted Belushi’s “COLLEGE” sweatshirt for National Lampoon’s Animal House, and later picked out the fedora and jacket for Indiana Jones, as well as Michael Jackson’s red Thriller jacket. She recalls how haphazard their early outfits looked as Jake and Elwood: “They were using any jacket and any pair of black trousers, usually didn’t match. So they were not in suits, they were unsuited. And any hat, and any tie, and any shirt, and any glasses that looked OK.”

Lorne Michaels was initially skeptical the idea would work

That their first blues song onscreen happened in their SNL “Killer Bee” costumes? Not part of the plan. “Which John hated,” Landis alleges. “And I think it was Lorne sticking it to him.” But after that performance of “I’m a King Bee” on the Jan. 17, 1976, episode, SNL’s musical director Howard Shore dubbed Aykroyd and Belushi The Blues Brothers, and they were off and running.

Belushi tasked Paul Shaffer, an original SNL house band member (and later longtime band leader for David Letterman’s late-night reign), to hire the rest of The Blues Brothers band, which originally included Shaffer on keys, Marini on sax, Al Rubin on trumpet, Tom Malone on trombone, and Steve Jordan on percussion. “I just knew I was having a better time than I ever thought I would have in my whole life,” Shaffer recalls. “Everybody was having so much fun.” And of Aykroyd and Belushi, Shaffer says: “They were explosive individually,” but together, “like a tornado, that’s what the two were like.”

Malone suggested getting Otis Redding’s guys, Steve Cropper and Duck Dunn on lead guitar and bass to fill out the rhythm section, and then they added another guitarist, Matt “Guitar” Murphy, after seeing him perform elsewhere in the city.

“An odd mixture of people, but man, it worked,” Marini says. “But Lorne didn’t dig it. And then one of the shows late in the season, they were short, and he said, you guys want to do your silly song? Go ahead and do it. And so we did it on the show. And it was a tremendous hit. People just went crazy for it.”

Belushi was furious at anyone who dared criticize the band When The Blues Brothers scored a #1 hit with their debut album, 1978’s Briefcase Full of Blues, Belushi found himself that fall with the top album, along with a box-office smash in Animal House, to go with his fame on SNL. But he was not without his critics.

In a previously unheard interview conducted with journalist Steve Bloom for a 1979 profile in the Soho Weekly News, we hear Belushi brushing back criticism of The Blues Brothers as a novelty act or appropriating black culture.

“It’s just weird, you know. Why would I do these things?” he says. “First of all, it has nothing to do with ego. It has nothing to do with money. Or the need to be loved by an audience. I don’t have any of those feelings. What the fuck do these people think I am, anyway? I can’t fucking understand why they would attack—see when they attack me, they attack the band. And I hate when they attack the band, because then it makes them look like schmucks for doing what they did for me.” One famous scene from ‘The Blues Brothers’ film was inspired by real life

Aykroyd reveals that one scene in their 1980 film is a nod to their actual record deal: “Where we are about to escape from the Palace Ballroom and commence the final run for Chicago. A 350-pound, 6-foot-4-inch man resembling a Turkish spa attendant lunges out from the wings to offer a record deal. This scene is a direct reprise of what happened when John and I left the stage as The Blues Brothers that first night. In the dressing room halls of 8H, at the page stand, Michael Klenfner, who played the guy in the film and was an acquaintance of John’s, grabbed us and said, ‘You guys should do a record. I’m Michael Klenfner from Atlantic Records. Ahmet (Ertegun) will love this.’” Klenfner died at 62 in 2009.

Film distributors didn’t think Southern audiences could handle the film’s ‘Black’ music

Landis says he intended to make a 70mm “road movie” complete with an intermission, but he and Universal couldn’t even convince cinema distributors to roll out the film nationwide. He and Aykroyd claim exhibitors—Landis singled out Ted Mann of Mann Theatres, who’d bought the Fox Theater chain—worried that audiences in the South and elsewhere would object to a film filled with predominantly “Black” music and performers. So they only debuted in 600 cinemas instead of 1,400, and tried to mount a live concert tour to promote it.

Aykroyd saw none of the film’s massive box office profits

Even though the movie brought in more than $115 million at the box office, Aykroyd saw none of it. He says he received a $225,000 salary for writing and performing in the movie, “for which I was grateful then and am now, as I was only a net points participant in the proceeds, this is all the fee and money I have ever received from The Blues Brothers movie. Universal’s position is that due to the high costs at the time, my net points remain worthless.”

The Belushis fared a bit better, as Pisano said John Belushi used $150,000 he’d received as a bonus from Animal House’s success to subsidize the 1978 album recordings, which took place live at Universal Amphitheatre while they served as Steve Martin’s opening act. “We weren’t repaid [by Atlantic] until well after we recorded everything and they’d heard it, so I think we were probably a little naive to assume we were getting that money back,” Pisano says. “But: Best investment I ever made.”

Sean L. McCarthy @thecomicscomic

[224bbaker]

An update and a thank you from 224B Baker Street!

Hello again, detectives!

While the crowdfund for season 2 of Fawx & Stallion technically wrapped up a few days ago, we thought it would be good to take a day or two to regroup, take a nap, and think of a few words to express our thanks. This being May 4th, the day in 1891 that Sherlock Holmes fell to his (alleged) death at Reichenbach Falls, it seemed strangely fitting to say a few words about the story of the detectives across the street and slightly to the left on the day Holmes ever so temporarily bowed out of his own story.

Last Monday, we crossed 100% of our goal. And on Thursday, we ended our campaign with 104% of our goal. We are beyond honored and completely grateful to everyone who donated, shared, sent along encouraging words, recommended, baked, drew, wrote, all of it, in support of us bringing more of this show into the world.

Everyone working to create this show has made art at some point that feels like it went out into the void--something they felt deeply, sacrificed for, put small, weird, jagged, still-beating parts of themselves into day after day, and then never knew if the thing those parts of themselves funneled into actually reached another human. Much less another human who saw themselves in it. We've been quite honest about the fact that our characters are very much an exploration of that feeling, of wanting to be seen, wanting the things we've done to be seen, to matter to someone.

We could write a million words, fifty seasons of audio drama, and never truly be able to put into words how grateful we are to you for reaching back to the art we create and telling it "I see this. I felt it. I love it. I want more."

Creating art is so hard. Most things are hard, but art is Hard, especially as the world and the algorithm and the AI and the Content creeps in and shuts off means of doing the personal, weird, silly, risky little things with any sort of official funding. It's why we funded season one ourselves, because we thought it was worth it. It means more than the world to know you thought so too.

And now, with all of that self-indulgence done: a practical update on NEXT STEPS!

MAY 2024:

We'll spend this next month prepping crowdfund rewards--writing thank you notes, getting extra supplies of stickers (they were VERY popular), etc! We expect those rewards to go out mid-Summer. The annotated Scandal in Bohemia will go out to our $30+ donors later this month via email. Also, if you pledged at $250 or up (THANK YOU again), we will be reaching out to secure details of your perks (start thinking of what mystery you'd like us to solve!). If you are expecting an email and do not receive one by the end of the month, please check your spam folder and if nothing is there, reach out to us via IGG!

We are also in the process or pre-production currently! This season will have a cast of roughly 22 voice actors, so we're taking the full month to get our recording plan. We'll also spend the month refining scripts, doing rehearsals, working with our composer on some original pieces (perhaps some violin) and giving our fantastic sound designer, Sarah, time to do the prep work she needs, and laying the groundwork for what is looking to be a very full summer of production! We look forward to updating you as the season progresses!

Again, thank you. Thank you. This second season is, aptly, a bit of an inverse of our first season. It's about the weight of expectation. How to operate in the world when you go from unknown to known. Invisible to spectacular. Alone to loved. It's also about a murder at a theme park but that's a bit less relevant to the emotional core of what I'm driving at here. But actually, fuck it, I guess it's still relevant, because we've always been excited about the weighty and the silly all the same.

So again, and not for the last time: #ForAmbrosius

-Lauren, Ian, and the whole Fawx & Stallion Team

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Explosions

EPISODE 6 OF ONLY FRIENDS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD! Seriously it was just fight after fight after fight, every relationship being shifted, undermined, or blown up in minutes and it was glorious. I think a good summary for this episode is “It’s always the quiet ones” 

If you want the TL;DR version of any of these, you can check out @lurkingshan’s much more cohesive, succinct description of each fight, and the winner. 

Sand v. Top 

Something that I truly and deeply appreciate about Only Friends is how much they are really committing to letting these boys act their motherfucking ages. We would think that Sand is a more responsible, independent person out of necessity, that he has his life together more, that he is more mature. After all, like we said last week, Boston came in to his home, smoked his weed, and fucked with his relationship and Sand took the high road (so we thought) of shutting his goddamn mouth and not airing Boston and Top’s dirty laundry. 

But damn if this boy ain’t twenty, petty, and fueled by rage at even the smallest sight of Top’s face. 

Sand goes to the Coffee House and orders a Pink Milk (now, pink milk/pink drink is a pretty old BL trope if I understand correctly, and so imo it is a testament to Sand’s character and his expectations of romance that he would order such a drink, and a statement on Jojo and Ninew’s part that the coffee house does not have milk and therefore cannot deliver the drink of BL romance everywhere.) Top appears, ordering his drinks, and we get a blessed side eye from Sand full of incredulity, barely contained disdain, and annoyance.

GOD I WANT THEM TO BE HALF-BROTHERS SO BAD! Anyway…

Top does give a rather amicable hello, and initiates a casual, emotionless conversation. But of course, Sand hates this motherfuckers’ guts for stealing his ex, and Sand knows exactly what and how Top thinks of him, so that protective snark we saw when Sand initially started engaging with Rich-Boy-Ray, returns. 

Top, on the other hand, thinks nothing of Sand, not that he hates him, not that he likes him, but fully that Sand is nothing. Sand is poor, Sand is struggling, Sand is nowhere close to competition for him. Top is precisely the kind of asshole that uses subtle jibes and jabs to chip away at people who understand what he is doing. Sand fucking hates this guy, so it is easy beyond measure to get Sand going. 

Especially because, we know that Sand knows about Top and Boston, and we know that Boston poked the bear the other night and fucked with Sand’s feelings about Ray. Top needles, and Sand inches closer to showing his hand ‘Mew seems nice. How unlucky of him to have you as his boyfriend’ 

And the perfect boyfriend mask that Top has been so successfully adorning drops “I can have anyone I want…I got mine now. I hope you get yours” 

(I am putting this screenshot in here because I find it really interesting from a visual storytelling/cinematography perspective that Sand is cast in Top’s shadow.)

And get his Sand will, because the first thing Sand does when he gets home is break the shit out of his phone so hard that Nick asks if he went to war. He “borrows” Nick’s phone to “call his Mom” promptly sending himself the audio file of Boston and Top having sex. (Pro Tip: If you are going to audio record two guys having sex, maybe don’t tell a goddamn soul you have it unless you are ready for that information to come to light.) 

Some questions I have here: why did Sand ask about if Nick was still seeing Boston? Why does Sand seem chill with Nick and Boston still hanging out together after Boston just went full douchebag all over his apartment. 

(My assumption/my theory here, which I am not really thinking has any basis in reality is that Sand is looking to see if Nick is still hanging out with Boston after Boston blew up the fantasy relationship he had with Ray. As if he was figuring out if it was worth it to throw Nick in to the mix when he is making the decision to ignite the stick of dynamite that is everyone’s relationships to one another.)

Then he meets with Ray at the bar. 

“Are you mad at me for that night?”

“Why would I be mad? Who you like is your business” Sand says, like a liar, and I am almost entirely certain that Ray knows this is a lie. Because he was with Sand the night Boston went off and he heard those crack’s in Sand’s voice. 

Something that I absolutely love about Ray as a character is that he is so completely unable to control his facial expressions. Whatever he is thinking or feeling is on his face the second that the emotion enters his body. You can see it in the fight scene with Boston in episode 5, how quickly Ray’s face shifts from crossfaded, relaxed, and smiley to focused, tense, and angry. So his reaction to Sand’s response is no surprise. Ray smirks, and looks away from Sand. 

“You called me here to play pool?”

“No, I wanted to talk to you…about Mew,” Sand is looking straight at Ray at this point, and I don’t know about y’all but it feels to me like Sand is assessing Ray’s reaction.  There is a MASSIVE pause from Ray at this point, a large bout of silence, and VERY slow, calculated motion as he brings himself to a (drunken) upright position. 

“What? Are you not okay that I like him?”

A deep inhale from Sand, and then a smile “I am okay. I even get why you like him. He is nice. People around can’t help falling for him.” Sand is priming his trap, weaponizing Ray’s feelings for Mew.

So here is the thing with Ray. Ray is both an open book and a man of direct action, part of this may just be his personality, but part of this is that Ray is constantly under the influence, and with altered mental status, it is going to both be harder to control your outward emotional expression and you are going to get escalated more quickly. Ray has an extremely low tolerance for bullshit, and in some capacities that is a negative thing (ex: 80% of the actions Ray does after his conversation with Sand in the pool hall), but it can sometimes be a positive thing, because it allows Ray to cut to the chase. To try to skirt around whatever mind games Sand is trying to play: “Just say what you mean”. 

Sand sends Ray the audio recording, “I didn’t know who to tell, so I told you” Sand says, turning his attention to the pool table.

This is a crucial move, because Sand is not making eye contact with Ray. Sand is toying with Ray, he is trying to seem disinterested in Ray, in their conversation, unaffected by the other night, casual in his relationship to Ray, casual in the massive invasion of privacy that he just handed to Ray, unphased by the ammunition he has just loaded in to the loose cannon. 

“I just don’t want a good guy like Mew to get fooled by Top. Mew is lucky though…

“To have you by his side”

Sand knows exactly what he is doing. He knows Ray likes Mew, and he knows Ray has a tendency to get riled up. Sand may not fully anticipate just how much he is setting Ray up to get hurt here, but he for fucking sure knows he is priming a weapon. If you ask me, Sand is placing the idea in Ray’s head to bring this information to Mew, to reveal the truth and break Mew and Top up so that Top loses the relationship that he just rubbed in Sand’s face, with minimal effort and suspicion that Sand was behind any of it. Which is why Sand looks up from the pool table as he says this line, because he’s studying Ray to see if Ray is picking up what Sand is putting down, and as we will see later, Sand has successfully planted the seed.

Ray is easy, Ray takes the bait, Ray immediately goes firing off in every direction he can. That boy waits, what? Probably one day before he runs straight to Boston to give him a piece of his mind. 

Ray v. Boston

There are too many phenomenal scenes in Episode 6 to pick a favorite, but I do think this is one of the best scenes that we’ve seen for Boston so far. By which I mean that we get a lot of information about Boston’s character from the way he navigates this conversation with Ray. We saw his proclivity for douchebaggery in Episode 5, and we’ve seen his propensity for fear when he is almost caught by Mew in the showers with Top. But we haven’t really seen these two aspects of Boston’s character interacting with each other, or at least not as strongly. 

Ray comes storming in to Boston’s home immediately riled up and cussing him out, calling him all sorts of names asking if he is going to do nasty shit to all of his friends, and of course, Boston at this point has no idea that the recording exists (and he is just a major asshole) so he is legitimately very confused about what Ray could possibly be talking about. 

“You hooked up with Top!” Ray shouts, and there is a look of genuine fear in Boston’s eyes. No one was around that he knew about or saw when he hooked up with Top that night, no one should have known that happened. Boston already has one recorded gay sex event hanging over his head as potential blackmail (thanks Gap), and now he is faced with the realization that there may be evidence of a second gay sex event.

Boston cares about his father’s reputation. Boston is not out to his father. Boston is probably far less discrete and careful than he should be, but I do think it is fair for him to assume that people aren’t going to record his sexual encounters with them without his consent. (I want to take a pause here just to say that I think I guessed right about some of the reasoning for Boston’s behavior especially in the earlier episodes has to do with his inability to be out.) This scene is where we get the longest continuous exposure to Boston’s fear. He is scared when Ray says he knows about him and Top, he is scared when he asks who told Ray, at this point you would think Ray would be the victor of this fight, but the second that Ray brings Mew in to the conversation?

Boston puts a mask on, and he smiles, because he has found a way to protect himself, and that is to use Ray’s weak spot (his crush on Mew) against him. To turn the tides in his favor, to manipulate Ray’s feelings, Ray’s attachment to Mew, Ray’s love of Mew in to staying quiet about his hook up with Top. 

“So? Top and I screwed even before they started dating. Is it so weird to screw again? I just wanted more. Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone has a happy ending. Everyone is filled.” 

I am fascinated here by Boston’s comment “I let them love each other all they want”. As if he personally has control over Top and Mew’s feelings for each other, as if he didn’t violate Mew’s ability to trust Top whenever, if ever that information comes to light. (Secondarily, Boston chooses some truly masterful double entendres here “happy ending”, “everyone filled”). 

Ray continues on his shouting spree, asking Boston how he could do that to a friend, and we see the aloof and unbothered mask slip off once again, in favor of an actual plea to be listened to. “Hear me out, okay? I don’t hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong” Now, while I don’t believe Boston about Mew and about the timing because we know he only started going after Top when Top started showing greater interest in Mew, and didn’t just nail and bail. But, I don’t think Boston is entirely lying to Ray here about being needy. One thing I do wish this show had more time for is establishing the past relationship between Boston and Ray before they get to this point. When Ray says later on in the episode that Boston tells him all about his sexual conquests, is that just something he says to Ray or is that something he tells the whole group when he is recounting his previous nights? This matters only in the sense of me feeling more secure in how much, if any, of what Boston is saying to Ray is true. 

“Timing, my ass. The point is your slutty ass just sleeps with anyone.” Ray says, and Boston looks down at the ground, draws in a breath, and then meets Ray with this cocky, teasing smirk and the line “Not just anyone. I picked him.” 

Ray wants to see Boston as a villain, so Boston will be one. Boston is generally a contradictory asshole, but in my opinion if he wasn’t faking some of this confidence and prodding at Ray, he would not have needed prep time, we would have seen that sincerity drop, the way we saw Top’s sincerity drop in his conversation with Sand. Instead, Boston has to prepare himself to act this way, though he is able to slip in to this part of himself with ease. Also, I have no deep insights in to this, because I am simply just obsessed with the little shoulder shrug Boston gives Ray. Spitting in his face would have been less disrespectful than the way Boston shrugs off Ray’s comment about him being a slut. (Once again I say Neo Trai is absolutely crushing this role).

Boston asks how Ray is involved (a great question, because it is literally none of Ray’s business) and then goes in for the kill with his acknowledgement of Ray’s crush, and the underlying dickishness Boston knows (or thinks he knows) is there. “You’re playing a good friend who is always so protective of Mew. Honestly, I think you are glad that it happened. You’ve always waited for your chance. This is in your favor. You’re waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he is weak.” 

I don’t know that it really needs to be called out directly, but I am going to do it anyway. What Boston just said to Ray’s face is exactly what Sand was thinking, and alluding to when he gave Ray that recording. You cannot convince me otherwise. But Sand was subtle in how he put those thoughts in Ray’s head, so he is successful in getting Ray appropriately riled up. Boston too, is successful in riling up Ray by being direct with him, but Boston gets punched in the face and makes Ray even angrier at him than he was before. 

“If you tell him, then you’re as evil as me. Don’t act like you mean well when deep down you hope they will break up. It’s disgusting!” He stands up, and stalks right up to Ray’s face.

“You should even thank me big time for getting you out of the friendzone.” 

Regardless of the fact that Boston is not yet aware of the recording of him and Top, he is acutely aware that he needs to protect himself from this information getting out. So again, he hones in on Ray’s weakness. Boston compares Ray to himself, to the person that Ray is absolutely furious with. He plays to Ray’s own insecurities and to Ray’s need to be seen as a good person and viable partner for Mew. Ray loves his friends, Ray loves Mew, Ray does not want to hurt Mew, if Ray tells Mew about Top cheating on him Mew will be hurt, if Mew rebounds with Ray after he and Top break up that makes Boston right about Ray’s intentions, that makes Ray evil. That is the implication here. And, just in case trying to convince Ray that if he tells Mew about the cheating then he is just as evil as the person who literally got fucked by Top, Boston throws in a little bit extra.  Ray should be grateful. Ray should thank Boston. Boston’s shitty actions here, Boston’s betrayal of his friendship with Mew, have cleared the way for Ray to play the hero. Ray shouldn’t tell Mew any of this because he owes Boston. Ray came charging in to Boston’s own home, with a leg up in the conversation, and showed his hand, allowing Boston to exploit Ray’s feelings and gain the upper hand. In one expert fell swoop, Boston has upset Ray enough for him to storm off and is feeling pretty confident and secure in the knowledge that Ray will not say anything to Mew.

Ray v. Everyone

By the time Ray gets to Mew’s birthday party he has been ignored, insulted, manipulated, and belittled constantly by almost every single person that says they care about him. Cheum has laughed at his love life, Sand used Ray to further his own agenda, Boston has thoroughly fucked with Ray’s life in a number of ways, and even Mew is harsher than usual to Ray when they run in to eachother in the bathroom and Mew tells Ray to stop doing drugs or he’ll be dead by 30. 

Ray loves Mew, Ray has been told over and over again by Mew that he only sees Ray as a friend, and there in the bathroom, Mew once again says “let’s be friends forever”. At this point, Mew has made it pretty fucking clear that he is never going to date Ray, and all of Ray’s friends have been shitty to him, and he is also drunk AND high, so for me it would track that Ray has literally nothing to lose by being honest. Every relationship Ray has, someone has fucked with. Top tries to get Mew on his side in his hatred of Ray, Sand put his barriers back up to protect his own feelings when Boston mentioned Ray’s crush on Mew, Ray fucked himself over with Mew by kissing him when he was asleep, Cheum points out Ray’s lack of love life and otherwise pretty much ignores Ray. So it also tracks for me that Ray would try to get back at everyone by fucking with their relationships.

Ray pulls a Top and gets up on stage to steal Sand’s microphone and make a public declaration, something that we as the audience should already know Mew does not like, because he said as much to Top after Top publicly asked Mew to be his boyfriend. Sand, bless him, tries to put a stop to this immediately by asking Ray what he is doing, but not to be deterred, and using the guise of Mew’s birthday he takes control of the microphone and the entire bar’s attention.  Before I go too much in to the actual roast session, I would recommend everyone who has seen Episode 6 go back to this scene and watch how Book plays Mew in this scene. Every single moment (until Mew gets mad that is) that Mew is on screen, he looks forlorn. But in the chaos of the bar scene, the quick cuts to all the couples dancing it can be hard to notice, especially if we weren’t looking out for it. This whole scene is set up spectacularly as foreshadowing for Mew’s revenge at the end of the episode, and if you pay close enough attention highlights the huge problems in Mew and Top’s relationship. Mew is upset, Mew is visibly upset, and Top is standing right there next to Mew the entire time. Top is dancing with Mew, Top is putting himself between Mew and Ray. Mew and Top are inches from each other during this entire scene and Top does not notice or ask about Mew’s mood shift once. Because Top has never truly been attentive to Mew’s feelings.

Anyway, Mew lays waste to Cheum, Boston, and Nick before Sand recognizes this is going nowhere good fast, and once again tries to put a stop to it. 

Ray has been ignored by too many people, Ray has been fucked with for too long for him to just let everything go and leave. And remember, he is drunk and high on cocaine so he is not de-escalating any time soon, and no one in that bar is at all equipped to change his focus and calm him down. Sand gets involved, but Sand is the cause of all of this mess because he gave Ray the information, and Ray will not be silenced, so he tries to insult Sand. “You don’t even want to be a singer, you just want to make money. If you want it so much, why don’t you sleep with me?” 

AND SORRY, I KNOW THAT I SHOULD REALLY BE TALKING ABOUT THE TOP, BOSTON, MEW OF IT ALL BUT I FUCKING LOVE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS LINE.

Because we know that Ray has offered to pay Sand for sex before, and we know that Ray has asked Sand how much he owed for their “one night stand”, only to have Sand on every occasion, reject the money. Sand has said that if he wants sex, he does it for free. Literally from the moment that Sand realized that he had some sort of positive feelings for Ray, and agreed to be his friend, he has not accepted a single bhat from Ray. But in front of all of these people, Ray is implying that Sand is a sex worker. In front of Boston, who has walked in on Ray and Sand making out, and in front of Nick who has interrupted Ray and Sand in the middle of something physically intimate on more than one occasion, Ray has just made it seem to them like Sand has been paid to cater to Ray’s every whim, in front of people that know Sand well. 

We love and respect sex workers in this house, but Ray? Ray is not saying this because he thinks sex work is okay. Ray is saying this because he thinks calling someone a prostitute (in a sense) is insulting, and that is not helped by the fact that they are in public and therefore Ray is subjecting Sand to public scrutiny over him potentially being a sex worker.  And in associating Sand with sex work, in associating sex with Ray as sex work, Ray is undermining the validity of any and all time that Sand and Ray have hung out together, and is highlighting his status as a higher class than Sand. 

Ray turns to Mew, showering praise and gratitude and well wishes upon him, and telling Mew “though that happiness doesn’t include me, I’m okay,” and Mew does not react in any way that is comforting, he doesn’t smile, he doesn’t nod. He just stands there, staring at Ray, and by my impression trying not to cry. And God, what I wouldn’t give to see Boston’s reaction to this moment, because we do not get to see him at all during this moment, and I want to know how confident Boston was feeling that Ray wouldn’t say anything about his affair with Top when Ray is acknowledging that he knows that Mew will never return his feelings.

I don’t know about you all, but personally, I believe Ray here. I think Ray has been rejected enough by Mew, and fucked up his relationship enough with Mew that he does just need to affirm to Mew that he understands what he has done, and that he understands that Mew will only ever think about him as a friend, and that Ray is there to support Mew in whatever he decides to do with the information, we as the audience do not know Mew already has. 

Ray turns his ire on Top, shouting at the top of his lungs, insulting Top, shoving Top, generally causing a scene and we finally get a glimpse of Boston, but he’s blurred out in the background, so while his face is unreadable, we get some indication of Boston’s emotional state by that fact that he is tuned the fuck in to everything going on, because the only thing we can read from Boston is that he is staring directly at Top. Ray continues to escalate, and Yo finally steps in, but she allows Ray to continue after a moment, which is like…girl, come on, where is the responsible bar owner? 

Ray starts shoving Top, Mew tries to step in, Top grabs Mew around the shoulder and jerks him back like he owns Mew. And because there are very few people in this world that take Ray seriously at all, Cheum tries to get involved. Reminding Ray that Mew is not gonna fuck him (I mean, that’s not exactly what she said but same shit) which Ray knows. I think, personally, that Ray is fully aware that there is a chance that he has completely ruined his relationship with Mew by valuing Mew enough to tell him the truth. That he has made himself as evil as Boston by telling Mew anything at all. 

I’ve said it before, I will say it again, Ray is one of the biggest open books in this show because of his substance use. We saw very early in the episode when the hotel management group was talking with their professor every single emotion, every single thought that Ray was

experiencing. From nearly the beginning of the show, we have seen Ray ignored or belittled by most of his friends, as someone who loves and has worked with drug users, I have to say that Jojo and co are doing an incredible job at demonstrating all the little ways that people discount, discredit, and dehumanize drug users. All of his friends, Boston, Cheum, and especially Mew think they are better than Ray because he uses drugs. We see it in the bathroom, right before the Ray-mpage, Mew realizing Ray has just done drugs, and then telling his suicidal friend that he would be dead before 30 if he keeps this behavior up. 

So of course Ray wants all these truths to come to light. Of course Ray has to be the one to do it. Because how dare all of these people stand around, pretending to be friendly to one another, pretending to care about one another, acting like they are all good people, when they are all manipulating, and controlling, and lying to each other. No one in this bar is better than Ray, even though they think they are. 

“No one has said a damn thing, which is why I need to” Ray shouts and then immediately turns to Boston. And as he continues to get riled up, as he gets closer to publicly revealing Top’s infidelity, Mew steps in, and it takes Mew punching Ray in the face to get him to shut the fuck up and preserve the image of clueless Mew.

Ray storms off and Sand goes running after him because he is the only person with some goddamn sense, realizing that Ray is going to endanger himself and others. They have their fight, which for the sake of space and time I am not going to talk about.

Mew v. Top

We reach a decompression point (so we think) after this fight, Sand quietly driving off after Ray, Nick reaching out to and having his comforting touch be rejected by Boston, Mew and Top walking back in to Mew’s apartment, with Mew only speaking when he is spoken to. 

Now, this cannot be convey through photographs alone, but I JUST NEED TO SHOUT TO THE HIGH HEAVENS ABOUT HOW FUCKING OBSESSED AND IN LOVE I AM WITH THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IN THIS SCENE. 

Besties, the vibes are RANCID. The music does not match the romantic scene we see Mew setting up, the lit candles, the supposed playlist he is putting on, the cuddling up to Top. The music we get underneath belongs in a horror movie. It’s suspenseful, it’s disconcerting. It is perfect. 

As soon as humanly possible Mew walks away from Top, enters a completely different room, and begins to lay his trap.

(Let it be stated for the record it was at this point where I started to think something might be up)

Top comes in to check on Mew and make sure he is alright, and as Book and Force have said, Top and Mew are competitive and poisonous for one another, and we are about to witness the perfect example of what happens with both of their propensities for control and manipulation come to a head.  Mew starts the game, initiating physical contact with Top, hugging him tight, rocking them back and forth. It is familiar, and comfortable, and there is absolutely no indication whatsoever from Mew’s body language that anything is wrong. (If you have not already, go back and watch the bar fight scene, and you will be presented with a drastically different Mew, because he is just gotten the news and he is processing his feeling and plotting his revenge, so he is a lot less capable of controlling the emotions on his face, and thus reads as detached and forlorn).

“Are you okay, Mew?” Top asks because he is at this point playing the role of devoted and concerned boyfriend extremely well (again a massive contrast to how he behaved at the bar, where he was possessive, reactive, and did not notice that anything was wrong with Mew despite being mere inches away from him). 

“I just wonder when Ray will be okay with you,” Mew responds, pulling away from Top to look him in the eyes. “I don’t want to choose.”

And what a great buy-in. Top hates Ray, Ray hates Top. Mew is perceptive and has been in the room on multiple occasions to see Top and Ray butting heads. Beyond the fact Ray went off on everyone at the bar, and it’s a relevant topic of conversation, Mew knows what he is doing bringing Ray in to his conversation with Top. 

Because Ray could have said “I’m okay”, he could have brushed the evening off, or said he wasn’t good, or bitched about Ray’s tendencies to ruin an evening with too much drinking. But he doesn’t mention any of that. He doesn’t attack Ray’s character, he doesn’t gripe about Ray’s actions. Mew explicitly brings up Ray’s feelings about Top. 

Giving Top a very good jumping off point for his own attempts at manipulation. 

“Why are you still friends with him?” Top asks. Undermining Mew’s previous line “I don’t want to choose.” Mew has literally just said that he wants to maintain his friendship with Ray and his relationship with Top, and implied that it is troubling him that the two of them cannot get along. That Ray cannot get along with Top. 

And instead of Top being sympathetic to that desire for Mew to get to keep two people he cares about in his life. Top tries to convince Mew to dump Ray altogether (which would further isolate Mew from his friends since Cheum really only seems to care about Mew’s sex life and Boston has intentionally been undermining Mew and Top’s relationship since it’s start).

This is not the first time that Top has tried to get what he wanted with just a question or suggestion. We can say all we want that LASIK was Mew’s idea, but Top suggested it first before he said something akin to “you know what, nevermind, you look cute in your nerd glasses”. He may have walked back his suggestion but it cannot be denied that he planted that seed. 

And planting a seed of doubt, of insecurity, of impatience with Ray’s behavior in to Mew’s mind is what I think Top is trying to do here. But Mew knows something Top doesn’t and where Mew may have started contemplating whether or not he actually does want to maintain a friendship with Ray, he is immune from that doubt seeping in in this case because he knows that Top is a dirty rotten liar. 

“I want to repay you,” Mew says a little bit further along in their conversation. “I don’t want you to forget about tonight.” (lmfao Mew, he definitely will not)

“It’s the birthday that I feel the most special.” and by God is Mew really laying it on thick. 

“Even though Ray ruined your night” Top can’t help but get a dig in, to remind Mew that Ray was a shitty friend on Mew’s birthday, to casually drop more evidence that Mew should pull away from his friendship with Ray. 

“Screw him. I have you by my side, there’s nothing to be afraid of” Mew is stoking Top’s ego, he’s lulling Top in to a false sense of security. Top has no idea what he is in for, he has no idea that Mew is playing games. Mew is doing such a thoroughly expert job with his performance he may even be annoying the audience, making them think that he didn’t connect the dots between Ray yelling at Top and Boston, and think that something might be wrong.

Top thanks Mew for making him like this version of himself, and to me this does make sense. There is this hollowness in the way I read Top and Mew’s entire relationship throughout the series. But I don’t doubt that some part of Top is interested in Mew. I have typically understood Mew and Top’s relationship to be an experiment from Top’s end to see what it would feel like to stop sleeping around.I think Top does genuinely enjoy at least part of his relationship with Mew, likes playing this role of doting boyfriend, but he is just playing. It is a performance. A skin he can shed the second he is out of Mew’s view.  

“Can I ask you one more gift?” Mew says, turning to face Top and without another word starts undressing him. Mew shoves Top on to the bed and starts kissing up his body (I shit you not I was shocked and literally said out loud, alone in my apartment “Damn, Book!”). This is not the first time that we have seen Mew raise the stakes of a physical encounter. From the beginning of their relationship, Mew has been entirely in control of if and when he and Top have sex. He holds on to that power, to his virginity for quite some time, but waffles in his confidence and power within the relationship by engaging in penetrative sex with Top because he is worried Top will be bored. 

This is the most intense, down and dirty level of physical intimacy we have ever seen from Top and Mew (and the same goes for Force and Book finally getting to step away from the slow and gentle sex scenes of shows past). Mew gets Top going, Mew gets Top in the zone, in the mood. Mew gets Top feeling good, moaning, before he drops the bomb. 

“I love the sound you make when you have sex” and this is where the tide begins to turn, where the audience may well and truly begin to pick up what Mew is putting down. But Top just thinks it’s hot. Top is playing along. Top wants to know what sounds he makes that Mew enjoys. This is a much different physical encounter than anything he has had from Mew before, and while Mew is once again leveraging physical intimacy to control Top, something he has been doing since their first sexual encounter. Though there is an intensity and surety to Mew’s actions here that feels markedly different than his other sexual interactions with Top where his movements were slower and less certain.  

“What sound?” Top asks, and oh boy has he just fucked himself over with this question. It is exactly the question Mew is hoping Top will ask. The perfect question for Mew’s pissed off, hurt, and dramatic ass to play the audio recording. 

And GOD DAMN TOP’S FUCKING REACTION? The fear and panic that enters his eyes, the speed and intentionality in the way Mew pushes himself off of Top.

Top’s fear and shock and awe lasts for mere seconds as he pulls himself upright at which point Force delivers one of my favorite lines in the entire exchange, “how did you get it?” 

Why is it one of my favorite? Because it acknowledges that Top knows that this audio recording exists. But it is said in passing, and asked as a question in such a way that Mew, who is about to actually let his emotions loose, might not actually realize the implications of the question. 

Because this is not Top asking “what is this?”, “where did this come from?”, “did you record me?” you know, the type of standard questions someone faced with an audio recording of them having sex might ask if they had never heard the audio recording before. But no, Top isn’t surprised to find out that he has been recorded. He is only scared and concerned about the fact that Mew got the recording from someone.

“How long ago was it?” Mew asks, and Top tries to equivocate “Mew, it was a long time ago,” as if Top thinks that he can what, brush off this audio recording? Dude. If Mew wasn’t busy trying not to slap you in the face, he would have noticed the practical admission of guilt you gave by nature of asking how he got the audio recording, you know he knows, why bother trying to lie? Mew does not let himself get convinced otherwise, and continues to press Top about whether or not he and Boston had fucked after he and Mew started dating and Top cannot look Mew in the eye until the very end of Mew’s line of questioning. And Top stays dead silent until Mew has asked him where and when he and Boston fucked, at which point he knows there is no getting out of this and he admits the truth. 

I don’t have much to say as of yet about the line Mew says “why did I have to know about this shit the day I’ve already loved you and given you everything?” mostly because I actually have a whole essay floating around in my brain that I am desperate to write for this show, but I do not have enough evidence to justify it yet, so I am waiting patiently for if the opportunity presents itself. But irrespective of that, there is an implication here that Mew held some level of possessiveness over his virginity and in having sex with Top committed to his relationship with Top. Mew is the kind of person that seems to think virginity has weight to it, and it is something to lose, something that can be lost.

Now. If Mew had stopped here and just broken up with Top, he would have won the day. But unfortunately, Mew is a human character with thoughts, feelings, and imperfections that are going to undermine his best efforts to be a diabolical schemer. (Something that I very much appreciate about this show is that every single person in the show has moments of utter genius that grant them the upper hand and a brief win. But no one is so impressive as to pull off a flawless victory or maintain their champion status for long). 

So unfortunately, we start getting insight in to Mew that we have not really had before, when he starts spiraling over Top and Boston hooking up. Mew, who has up until this point felt very secure in his inexperience with sex. And there have been signs of deeper insecurities popping up, namely that Mew had penetrative sex with Top to keep him interested in their relationship. “Why did it have to be Boston?” (who Mew called to ask for sex advice), “Couldn’t it have been anyone else?” Top looks guilty when Mew asks these questions, but that quickly changes as Mew’s spiral worsens “You guys planned this together?” Top’s head whips up to meet Mew’s eyes, he postures, he shifts his weight, he inhales a breath as if he is preparing to speak, and his face changes to a perfect picture of disagreement at the accusation. “You just wanted to mess with a virgin idiot like me?” Top actually tries to interrupt Mew’s spiral here, to calm Mew’s suspicions of malice against him. 

It is at this point Mew has his Boss Ass Bitch card revoked on the grounds of undermining the absolutely devastating and badass power play he just flawlessly pulled off by creating this fantasy in his head about big bad evil Top and Boston laughing at his inexperience. Especially because (and this is not to blame Mew at all) part of what drove Top to fuck Boston was Mew’s competitive nature and his desire to prove Top really wanted a relationship with him by withholding sex for an extremely long time. It was not Mew’s inexperience, but rather his virtue signaling and tight hold on having his first time that resulted in Boston’s successful attempt at convincing Top that Mew was lying to him about being a virgin. 

“Mew, you made that all up in your head, it’s nothing like that,”

“Well, what am I supposed to think when I can’t trust any word you say?” Mew turns away, only to be quickly embraced by Top. Both of them quiet, upset, and the episode ends with the future of their relationship uncertain.

[podfeels]

Podfeels Season 1 Retrospective

4/13/2024 marked the two year anniversary of Podfeels’ first airing, and in August, we will celebrate the three year anniversary of its inception as a project. It feels so strange, looking back on it all. To me, it feels simultaneously like its always been in my life, and also like it just started yesterday.

I’ve spent nearly three years now spearheading this project, and we’ve expanded from a team of ten to a team of thirty in that time, and have put out roughly four hours of highly produced, full cast, full sound effect audio drama.

That may not sound like much, but for a team composed almost exclusively of first timers at its inception, and with two big hiatuses out of everyone’s control, I’m pretty damn proud.

With Season 1 ending back in January, us currently in the exact two month midpoint between anniversaries, and Season 2 being worked on behind the scenes, I thought now would be a good time to release a bit of a retrospective on our first season. Talk about the process, what went wrong, what went right, and also release our assets for the public.

I’m splitting this into three sections so you can skip around based on what you give a shit about. 

Looking 8ack

Reminiscence about how I got into godfeels through a series of insane coincidences that make my heart feel warm.

2. Adapt8ion

Discussing the process of adapting the work into our medium.

3. Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

A release of Season 1’s art and sound assets for your perusal outside of the videos, use as desktop wallpapers, or what have you. 

Looking 8ack

In March 2020, I got covid for the first time. My workplace had no protections for it yet, so I lost my job. And while bedridden with covid, subsisting off a diet of lukewarm broth, saltines, and nyquil, I set my youtube Watch Later (ok, thats a lie, it was my Likes, which i used ((still use)) as a watch later instead of using the actual watch later function, BUT-) playlist to shuffle. And in this fugue state, I stumbled on the video that would completely change the trajectory of my life.

“What I Learned Writing 50,000 Words of Homestuck Fanfiction”, by Sarah Zedig. I vaguely remembered her from some video about the McElroys and from Hbomberguy’s stream, and I had put off watching this because at the time of its release, I hadn’t yet finished Homestuck. So I shuffled it away for later, and it found its way back into my lap at the perfect time. Having now finished the comic, read the Epilogues, actively reading Homestuck ^2: Beyond Canon, and five months in to my first ever real creative outlet in my semi-abandoned video essay channel, I was interested to hear what this goat had to say.

In the video Sarah went into detail about a ton of wider context about the Homestuck Renaissance that I was fully unaware of, and made a very strong case for her own postcanon work, godfeels. Her passion bled through and I figured, sure, why not, I’ve got nothing better going on, I’ll read the story of Spiderjeggings’ No Good Very Bad Transition. Why not!

55,660 words later, crying alone in bed, I was now a girl. Reading the scene of June making her list of wants the morning after Terezi’s return, I said out loud to myself, hoarse as can be, “I can’t put it off any longer.” 

After reading to current I ended up joining the godfeels fanserver, and from getting settled in these circles I’ve met so many people I wouldn’t have otherwise, and come into myself in ways I can’t begin to fully quantify. I went from one relationship to fourteen to now a stable four, the other person in my head shook back loose after a decade of suppression by me (sorry again, Aegis), I’ve become more cultured, I’ve gained more friends, I’ve gained more hobbies, and most relevant of all… I’ve gained Podfeels.

Podfeels proper actually started in a really funny and impromptu way. In Sarah’s video she mentions wanting to start a podfic adaptation of it, but with that being two years past with no more word, a conversation about it cropped up in the server, and it was revealed that it had been canceled for various reasons. Everyone immediately understood why that had to happen. It was an insane amount of work, especially now that Godfeels was entering the territory of a space opera. But the demand was there among all of us, and after almost a dozen loops of us all going “drat, would be cool. I wish someone would take the helm on that!”, I just went ALRIGHT I GET IT and opened up casting. Podfeels was actually originally a joke name made by someone in the server before I even entered the conversation, but we used it for so long during development that by the time we came to release day it just felt wrong to call the project anything else. The name just stuck.

After a few hours of people daydreaming about it happening, and me encouraging other people to take the helm, I finally gave in and opened up casting. Now, it’s important to understand, I had never directed ANYTHING like this before in my life. I made a really terrible sketch in high school theater class and that’s about it. I’ve always been a bit of a natural leader but never anything with the kind of scale this would require, and it showed. I crowdfunded almost all ideas for what to do and how to handle it, and my best idea for how to do auditions was “just send in a few lines of you doing whatever character you want”. And my language was… insufferably fawning. I was hedging my bets at every opportunity. Every development in the project was “tentative”, I was the “director” until someone else took charge, etc. Looking back its actually kind of adorable? 

Look at that sweetheart. She’s so scared. She has no idea the beautiful changes she is in for.

The casting process was an unmitigated DISASTER. Nobody there knew how to audition, and I didn’t know how to wrangle. We were an unstructured gaggle of doofasses stumbling into each other. And due to the limited pool, I was stretched kind of thin on where to put people. Obviously I stand by all our decisions and love our cast, but because I was pulling entirely from the fanserver, options were very limited. I wanted to get everyone who wanted one into a role, but having to do the math of “this person is 40% good at Character A and 60% good at Character B, but this OTHER person is 80% good at Character B and the closest runner up for Character A is only 35% good” was agonizing.

We ended up deciding to make a few demos first, to test our chops as actors and mine as editor. We had four planned. But after we fully produced our first two demos and had recorded the third… I decided we should immediately start chronological production.

Why did I make this decision, you ask? Well. We had a few months until 4/13/2022. If we immediately all went overdrive, me especially, we had the chance to get our first episode out on the 13th 4/13 anniversary of Homestuck, and like HELL was I about to let us pass that up. 

This was the right call, I think, but it did bring us into a BUNCH of complications. First off, it meant we never really tested our violence and drama chops on the houseraid. Second, if I had waited, we would have been able to dodge our first big hiatus, where I put us on pause for a couple months while we waited to see if our Terezi wanted to leave after she floated the idea, which she ended up doing. If we had stayed in prepro, we would have skipped a huge hiatus and not replaced a key character between episode one and two. It also meant that we didn’t fully solidify an editing pipeline, and I was handling practically all editing until around episode 3. Additional prepro time would have helped us iron that out, as well, rather than me breaking myself on the first couple episodes before bringing in help out of desperation. This rush ALSO led to us having to release episode 1’s video around a week after the audio’s release, and with a fucked up background because I was crunching so hard I didn’t notice I’d accidentally completely butchered John’s bedroom somehow! I think I somehow content aware filled the wall? Fucked if I know why!

This is an abridged version because I want to get us to the meat of the matter today and I feel a lot of the longer story is best saved for a video I plan on making down the line, when we’ve reached 50 hours of runtime. For now, let’s move on.

Adapt8ion

A few folks have asked for indepth adaptation notes for what we change in an episode and why. As a general rule, we make changes with three primary motivations. First, adjusting text-based ideas to sound-based. Godfeels plays with its medium in countless compelling ways that, when shifted to a different medium, are either clunky or incomprehensible. So our first job is to translate those into sound. Second, turning narration into sound effects. We don’t need to discuss sounds in the scene, or a character’s tone, when we can just hear it all ourselves now. This then expands into further issues, however, as some things DO need to stay as narration. There’s a lot of pathos in the narration, and often there’s details that can’t be conveyed through audio alone. But by removing just the audio cues, we are left with very clunky phrasing that does our source material no justice. So we have to rephrase entire sections to give them the same resonance, meaning, and clarity while also getting rid of all the things that are now extraneous in our medium. The third main type of edit is bringing it more in line with what comes later. Godfeels has been running a long time and has become a very different beast from where it began. I love this about it, but some ideas have ended up with insufficient preparation, and some thematic resonances are easy to see looking back but may be partially unintentional. We can take advantage of hindsight and bring certain things more in line with the work’s modern philosophies, such as putting an additional focus on the citizens of Earth C, introducing X as its own entity, playing with Dirk more as a villain, and introducing the question of “what happens to the leftover Junes in a retcon?”, all during Episode 6. 

I’ll be releasing a few other posts soon with detailed adaptation notes for every episode in the coming days, but I’ll leave it here for now and bring us to our final section-

Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

While the idea for video versions was a relatively late addition to our process, I’m very proud of the work everyone has put into making them what they are. Our art team and video editor do wonders. First up, we’ve got the talkpogs.

The talkpogs were my own invention, but I can hardly claim they’re an original idea. I’m sure something almost identical has been done before. What directly inspired me, though, was the old Polygon podcasts, where they’d have the hosts faces made out of polygons, with one loose and separated, synced to that host’s audio track. It was the first time I’d seen something like that and I knew I wanted something similar to indicate who was talking. From there it all fell into place pretty easily. The outer ring and the waveform is the character’s text color, and the background is their name color. If those two are the same (as they usually are), I apply a slight darkening to the background just for differentiation. The sprites, though, were all the art team. Unfortunately we didn’t have a base early on, so different artists drew to different scales. 

For the art style I told the artists to try to strike a middleground between Homestuck classic and girlpillz’s style which had just been shown in GF3.1.8.E, where godfeels got its first spritework. Otherwise, designs were largely up to the artists but we had conversations about them as a project. Overall I’m very satisfied with the work everyone turned in.

Backgrounds were a more complicated beast, but paradoxically also have less to talk about. We started out with one background per episode, which was pretty doable, but with the season 1 finale, and our expanded art team, we opted to expand out into a background per setting. The first two are just Pesterquest backgrounds I edited by hand, but after that we started having custom art. That was largely due to restraints lifting as the team grew, but it also turned out pretty good thematically, as the first episode with custom art was Episode 3, where June’s egg cracks. We left official art behind as June left the officially plotted course. I think it’s resonant.

Now we come to our latest introduction. KEY ART. We started doing this in Episode 6 and it’s so sick. Don’t expect these inclusions to be TOO common, but… we have some cool things in store here, and I think you’ll all be really excited to see ‘em. For now, here’s our first and so far only public piece of key art, Dirk menacing June against the tree. The final piece of art of Season 1, and the final piece of art of Season 1’s retrospective. It only seems fair.

Which now brings us to my own inclusion: sound assets. I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in to giving each character and concept their own unique aural profile. From the magical girl burning radiation of Jade’s magic, to the shattering static of June’s retcon, to threading the needle of Hammer, Sword, Plastic Toy, Dice, And Doomsday Device in June’s vrillyhoo. 

That’s all for today. In the coming week or so I’ll put together a few more posts, going over each episode in more detail, from point by point script edit notes, to specific art discussions. I also plan to bring in a few people who have been around since day one to talk about our experience setting up the project.

But for now, look forward to seeing more from us soon. Both in the upcoming devposts, and in Season 2. We've been on a hiatus to get our preproduction pipeline settled, and because we wanted to get a few episodes prepped so we can try to maintain a monthly schedule. But we're getting to the end of this phase now, and will be announcing Episode 7's release date very soon.

Until next time! :::;)