#apple if you are reading this all of this is satiracle pls don’t hurt me I have a family

[sammichbreadalmighty]

Oh my Jesus Christ, how fucking hard does it need to be to stretch an image on a goddamn iPhone. All I wanted to do was stretch a goddamn picture so that it had that funny overstretched effect so I could add it to a meme I was making. And if I was doing this shit on a computer or something, I could have just copy and pasted it into Ms paint or whatever the hell, stretched it, then copy and pasted it back out into where I wanted it. Hell I’m pretty sure you can stretch images from just the photos app if you’re on windows. BUT NOT FUCKING APPLE. NOOOOO OF COURSE FUCKING NOT!!!!!! THAT WOULD BE STUPID!!!! THAT WOULD BE SIMPLY FUCKING PREPOSTEROUS!!!!!!!! My first thought was to try and adjust the aspect ratio to something slimmer, BUUUUUUUT it doesn’t stretch to fit like it would in any other goddamn software it just crops it and fucking zooms in. So I look this shit up and it basically says I need a third party app. WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED A THIRD PARTY APP FOR SUCH A BASIC GODDAMN FEATURE THATS BUILT IN TO SO MANY OTHER GODDAMN OPERATING SOFTWARES YOU PIECE OF SHIT APPLE. And now, I’m not gonna go into why I can’t really download other apps, because tumblr doesn’t need to know my living situation, but let me just say, I can’t. Not at the moment at least. But whether or not I can or can’t download other apps is mostly irrelevant to this because it is such a fucking basic and fundamental feature like Jesus Christ. So like I’ve been trying to find a pre-installed app that lets me do those things that could have been done in literally five goddamn seconds had I had access to a computer of any fucking type. I go into the notes app, keynote, even fucking pages. WHO THE FUCK HAS EVER USED PAGES IN THEIR LIFE?!?!?!?!?????? And like I was so excited when I saw in the pages app that no one has ever used in their goddamn life, that there appeared around the image 4 circles that were in the middle of the top edge of the image, bottom edge, left edge, and right edge. Because in any CIVILISED EDITING SOFTWARE those are used to squish and stretch the image. But NOOOO. This is apple we’re talking about. This is the fucking Wild West motherfuckers. It wasn’t used to stretch or squash the image, it was used to FUCKING CROP THE DAMN THING. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE AT APPLE??!???!?!????!???? Like I still can’t believe that they don’t have this feature fucking built in?!?!??! Like JUST LET ME STRETCH THE FUNNY IMAGE OF SUSIE DELTARUNE SO SHE LOOKS FUNNY WHEN I EDIT HER INTO AN IMAGE YOU STUPID PEICE OF SHIT. WHOEVER DESIGNED THIS SHIT TO WHERE YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD A THIRD PARTY APP TO STRETCH A FUCKING IMAGE, I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL. I HOPE YOU GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HUNGRY AS FUCK WITH NO WAY OF FEEDING YOUR HUNGER. AND AS YOU WALK THEOUGH YOUR HOUSE LOOKING FOR FOOD YOU STEP ON LEGOS, MAKING YOU STUMBLE FORWARD AND STUB YOUR GODDAMN TOES. I WISH THAT THE ONLY FOOD IN THE HOUSE IS EXPIRED. I WISH THAT YOU ARE SO HUNGRY THAT YOU CAVE INTO EATING THE EXPIRED FOOD AND THAT IT GIVES YOU FOOD POISONING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT. THATS WHAT I FUCKING WISH HAPPENS TO YOU EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS EVEN MORE FUCKING STUPID THAN THE IPAD NOT HAVING A FUCKONG CALCULATOR APP. FUCK YOU.