#apparently they caffeine pills...

[undeadorion-archive]

Medication. Multiple flavors, even.

That's not a joke answer. Getting my brain and my body to function at even close to the expected levels, it's taken 4 separate prescriptions, plus several different vitamins.

[snekdood]

dawg im so glad i didnt take that st. johns wort

[mass-convergence]

With Panera's recent ... issues ... I just want to recount (for the billionth time) when I OD'ed on caffeine:

It was right after my last midnight shift and I wanted to drive 6 hours to a national park because damn it I had 4 days off and I wanted to do something fun. Of course I was freaked out I was going to be sleepy on the drive and pass out in the car and die in a fiery crash.

So instead of being a reasonable adult and just taking a nap before I subjected myself to that drive, I did the super intelligent thing of just loading up on caffeine before I left. I took 200 mg of caffeine before my shift at 10 pm the night before. During shift I consumed at least two cups of green tea, ~40 mg of caffeine each. I don't remember if I also had a soda that shift but this was already more than I usually intake in a day. Got off shift kinda hyped to be going on the trip but also a little tired still. So I was like, "I should get some more caffeine in me".

Despite me having already consumed around 280 mg of caffeine (maybe more if I drank a soda during shift).

Green tea with my breakfast.

Took another 200 mg pill like a goddamn dumbass.

For those keeping track ... that's like at least 500 mg of caffeine in a 12 hour period for someone who maybe drinks a couple cups of calming Jasmine tea in a day (so generally 100 mg or less).

Now, I felt relatively okay as I left and started going down the interstate. About 30 minutes later I realize that I can't sing along to the song on the radio because I'm too busy feeling like I can't breathe. I didn't have one of those fancy wrist watches that log your heart rate but I can tell you that it was absolutely jackhammering in my chest as if I had sprinted a mile.

And it only got worse from there because I started obviously freaking out that my heart was going about 100 miles a minute and I was legit having difficulties catching my breath. I considered pulling over and maybe cancelling the trip to go visit an emergency room because holy shit I never felt like that before and I was seriously thinking I was having some form of a heart attack. But I'm an idiot and I kept driving even though I'm pretty sure I was dangerously close to potentially passing out at that point. Y'know. Because of the breathing difficulties.

I'm sure it went from like OD related issues to something akin to a panic attack because I was getting seriously anxious about my health at that point. I did finally start feeling better after about 15 to 30 minutes and then an hour or two later I was almost back to normal. I did get to my destination safely, ate the best Wendy's chicken nuggets I've ever had, and almost immediately passed out on the bed of the cabin I was at - legit best night of sleep I've ever gotten.

But uh yeah, that was 500 mg of caffeine in like 12 hours (I can't comment on if I'm like a healthy adult but I will say I don't have any diagnosed heart or BP conditions).

I can't fucking imagine what 500 mg in one sitting would do.

Like who the fuck approved the charge lemonade without:

at least putting some kind of extremely visible warning that it contained a shit ton of caffeine (no, "as much caffeine as our dark roast" is not a good label - put an actual mg amount ... people who are monitoring their intake probably will have an idea about how much caffeine they can consume)

maybe not making the damn thing refillable. Who needs refills of a drink that's got the daily recommended amount of caffeine in it for a healthy adult

maybe saying, "Hey ... should we even have this much caffeine in this drink?"

Because if you're drinking caffeinated stuff before you go grab your 30 oz cup of Panera Lemonade - like I think most healthy adults are - you're adding that caffeine onto the stuff you've already consumed. Which can certainly put you over the "recommended amount". Like it's just got too much caffeine period.

[sweet-as-kiwis]

Okay so Google says taking excedrin with coffee is a not-so-great idea but we’re goin for it

[sgt-tombstone]

Like A Baby

————

Ghost sleeps like he’s in a coffin

On his back, straight as a board, arms crossed over his chest, the whole nine yards

When Soap and Gaz see him do it for the first time in the field, they think it’s a joke, that he’s leaned into the whole Ghost thing a little too hard. They think it’s funny, albeit slightly disconcerting

But over the course of several missions, they realize that Simon genuinely has no idea that he does it. He goes to sleep laying down like anyone else, in whatever position is most comfortable in the middle of an op, but as soon as he slips unconscious, his body naturally arranges itself into the most macabre position possible

They want to tell him about it so badly, but Price convinces them not to. He doesn’t tell them why, he just says that it would be a bad idea, and they trust him enough not to push it

Until Soap lets it slip one night while they’re at a bar, makes a stupid joke about Ghost “sleeping like the dead” that Gaz laughs a little too hard at and they only realize their mistake when Ghost’s eyebrows knit in confusion. So they fess up, reluctantly, and tell him that he sleeps like a corpse. Arms crossed and everything. He refuses to believe it at first, because denial has always worked for him in the past, and he wouldn’t put it past the sergeants to pull his chain like this, especially since they don’t know. But then Soap says he’ll snap a picture the next time he sees it and Ghost starts to get scared

Sure enough, two weeks later finds them in the middle of fucking nowhere in the middle of the fucking night, and Ghost settles down against a wall that’s more rubble than structure. He resolutely stays sitting up because he desperately wants to prove the sergeants wrong, but as soon as he falls asleep, his body slumps over and turns until he’s on his back, arms crossed, spine straight. Soap snaps his picture and feels guilty about it all night

When he wakes up the next morning, Ghost’s first words to him are, “show me,” and Soap should know better but apparently he doesn’t because he pulls up the picture. It’s dark and slightly blurry but unmistakable. Like a fucking corpse

It sends Ghost into a tailspin. The only reason why he doesn’t lose it completely is because Price is there to hold him together. Instead, he shuts down. It feels like a betrayal from his own body, his own mind. It’s a sick joke, a cosmic ‘fuck you’, a trauma response of epic proportions. He’d escaped his own grave, but apparently his sleeping mind didn’t know that

When they get back to base, no one sees or hears from Ghost for close to three weeks. Soap is losing his mind, Gaz is ready to tear the base apart to find him, and even Price (usually very used to Ghost’s moods) is visibly worried. Finally, Soap corners him in the sniper tower where he’s been taking stim packs and caffeine pills in an attempt to avoid sleep altogether. Soap damn near drags him, stumbling and off balance from exhaustion, to bed. Despite how tired he is, he can’t fall asleep, his heart and mind racing with panic at the thought of his unconscious body forcing him to become a corpse again

Right up until Johnny lays down next to him. And then his mind goes blissfully quiet. His heart is still pounding, but for a completely different reason as Johnny curls his body around Simon’s, arranging their limbs in such a way that Simon couldn’t possibly straighten out. It’s the warmest he’s ever been, the most comfortable he’s ever been. With his arms around Johnny and Johnny’s head tucked under his chin, he falls asleep effortlessly

When he wakes up, the first thing he mumbles is, “how did I…?” but he can’t bring himself to finish it, terrified of the answer. Johnny just smiles up at him, mohawk askew and cheek creased from being pressed against Simon’s shirt all night, and says, “like a baby.”

Simon never sleeps like he’s in a coffin ever again

[charliemwrites]

Ahahahaha it’s happening again-

Bodyguard!Gaz’s researcher is being transported to a facility in Russia. Apparently, there’s some tools or facility there that they need and have to be there in person to use.

Bodyguard!Gaz who has his charge memorize all their emergency plans like it’s lab safety protocol. Who runs all sorts of drills that they whine about but dutifully humor. Who gets his researcher bundled up for the plane in a big puffy coat. They refuse mittens or gloves because they need their hands free.

Bodyguard!Gaz who shows up late because his scientist kept fussing over equipment to bring and double checking that all the assistants were sorted instead of worrying about themselves. Gaz, who straps them in himself because they’re busy reading through the plane’s operating manual, blueprints folded in the back of the booklet.

An amused 141 looks on as he gently pries their mouth open to pop a Dramamine in their mouth. They don’t even glance up, mumble a quiet, “thank you, Ky,” as they flip a page.

Bodyguard!Gaz who glares daggers at Soap for getting the researcher’s attention just as the drowsiness from the pills is kicking in. Gaz was hoping they could sleep through the flight since he knows it’ll be at least 30 hours before they rest again once they land. He could strangle his teammate when he presents Gaz’s scientist with a modified flash-bang and sees their eyes light up, head coming off Gaz’s shoulder.

“What’s it made of?” The first question they always ask, about anything and everything, before they inevitably go on a research binge.

“No, no,” he says, tossing Ghost a look for help.

Ghost thankfully DOES, though Gaz’s researcher is still all keyed up now and he has to pull out the tablet early, lets them look at half-finished designs they made up in a blaze of over-caffeinated, under-rested mania. They start muttering over stupid mistakes and scribbling notes in the side….

Until slowly, their muttering gets quieter. The notes get lazier and loopier. They’re head starts to droop. Gaz can’t let them sleep like that, though, they get grumpy when their neck hurts before they’ve even started on a computer. So he tugs them against his chest. They go, mumbling Very Important Science notes that he hums and promises to write down.

And finally they settle in, bundled up and snuggling in for extra warmth, and he gently takes the stylus from their lax hand, saving the designs for them.

[muzansfangs]

Guilty pleasure.

Starring: Muzan x f!reader; Akaza, Kyojuro, Nakime and Giyuu.

Warnings: language, stalking, yandere tendencies, dirty jokes and mention to sex, mention to drugs, sugar daddy dynamics, attempted murder, sapphic love (temporary one-sided), mention to violence, psychological trauma, mention to murder, death, loss of parents.

Plot: Haunted by nightmares regarding your parents’s death, you wake up early in the morning to attend some classes at University. Your feelings for Muzan are controversial and you find yourself yearning for him after a romantic and unexpected reunion. Back at University, you catch up with some of your friends and, while Muzan claimes to have given you so personal space, you soon find out he could not keep his promise. While the Slayers are attending a meeting, the Moons are watching you and your date night with Muzan will definitely be memorable.

part one| part two| part three| part four| part five| part six| part seven

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FRIENDS.

"Geez, what's happened to you? Are you sick?" Akaza inquired, glancing at you briefly while filling his mug with some coffee.

Maybe you should have put your make-up on, before showing up in the kitchen. Apparently, the shower you had taken had not helped you look better. However, you did not take it personally. You expected to look devasted. The moment you had stepped into the bathroom and switched the lights on, you had grimaced at your reflection in the mirror. You knew it would have happened: it was the same old story, after all.

"I have barely slept, but I am fine. – you said, grabbing your lavender blue mug from the counter – Thanks for asking" you added shortly, joining him on the kitchen island and choosing a croissant from the silvery tray in front of you. You wondered who always went to buy the delicious pastries so early in the morning.

Maybe it was Kokushibo. He was literally a night owl. You had heard him leaving in the middle of the night since you had moved there. Then again, it had been only three days since you had settled down in that house, it could have been a mere coincidence.

Akaza hummed, taking a small sip from his yellowish mug "Muzan's kept you awake all night long, huh?" he teased you, his eyes lazily glancing outside the window, watching the sky turn purple and how some reddish stripes enlightened the still sleeping city below.

You blushed, opting for the basic pastry filled with cherry jam "I don't know what you're talking about, Akaza" you whispered, grasping the coffee pot to pour yourself the right amount of caffeine you needed to make your brain properly function.

You wondered how long it would have taken for you to finally relax and get comfortable with the radical change in your life. Stressful events made the nightmares come back and, while you were used to it, you thought you had somehow found your balance. There was no way in Hell your heart would have forgotten about that tragic night ten years ago, but during the past years you had held on your mental stability to accept that fact that there was nothing you could have done to save your parents.

They had died before your eyes. You tried to bury their screams of agony in the back of your mind and you succeded in it. Despite that, when the nightmares came back, it was hard to pretend you had come to terms with your trauma. The small scar on your right knee was a constant reminder of what had happened.

A soft nudge on your ribs made you flick your gaze up to your interlocutor and, judging by the concerned look on his face, you realized you had dazed off for way too long.

Wonderful, now he probably thought you were crazy.

"Did Douma give you one of his magical pills?" Akaza questioned you, cocking his head to the side, as he attentively inspected your face in search for a proof that you were high.

You rolled your eyes at him and chugged down your coffee, before settling the now empty mug back on the counter "No, he didn't. But, if the pills can chase nightmares away, I'll make sure to ask him to give me some of them" you bluntly replied, eyes downcast not meet his bright, golden ones.

You did not really mean what you had said. You were upset and sarcasm was your defensive coping mechanism. You did not want to startle Akaza and, to be honest, you did not think anything could really leave him bitter, considering who he worked for and what Muzan had probably asked him to do for him.

Now, however, things were kind of getting awkaward between you two and you did not waste any more precious time in making your getaway from the crime scene to ease the tension off.

"I have some classes to attend. See you later" you mumbled, grabbing your croissant and quickly jumping on your feet with a distraught expression plastered on your face. Akaza, obviously, did not fail to notice it and, although you had already turned your back at him to leave the room, he called you out and forced you to halt.

"Y/N, wait a second. – the bodyguard said, hastily wiping his mouth with a napkin and hopping down from his stool too – Do you want to talk about it? I am not a psychologist, but someone told me I am a good listener" he softly stated, an ounce of nostalgia permeating his words. He took you off guard.

While you thought Muzan's flunkies probably tolerated your presence around not to lose their job, there was something in Akaza's words that did not quite match with the idea you had of him and his formal, detached duty of giving assistance to his boss's girlfriend. There was empathy in his voice, there was genuine interest. Despite that, you had never really talked much about your nightmares. There were only a few selected people who knew something about them and, back then, you had been kind of forced to tell them about your problem. The awful amount of times you had waken your friends up with your screams, during your sleepovers, had caused them to get worried and you had no other choice but let them in.

You turned towards Akaza, a tired smile curling your lips "I don't doubt it, but I am the I-fly-solo type of person. I can deal with it. – you said, flicking your gaze up on the black and white clock hung on the wall – I really got to go now. See you later, Akaza!" you added shortly, whipping your head back to corridor and jogging towards your bedroom.

On your way to your sumptuous room, you chewed on the delicious pastry, slowing down your pace as you passed by Muzan's bedroom.

Muzan... Fuck.

A few thoughts popped in your mind as the coffee started taking over you. First and foremost, your legs hurt. Badly. Secondly, you were subconsciously infatuated by him. Thirdly, he was a criminal. Your soon-to-be-husband was a bloody criminal about to rule your Country.

Although he had scared you to death, you still could not quite see past his façade. You could have never forgotten his murderous eyes, when he ran to the parking lot. You could not forget his words, when he had made you understand not to cross lines when he was around. Did he really care about you? Were just a pretty face and a nice body he claimed not to neglect his duties as your boyfriend?

It was overwhelming and the idea of facing him after what had happened yesterday made you wish to evoke the famous black hole to dive in and never come back from.

Pinching the bridge of your nose in distress, you took the last bite of your croissant and proceeded in your march to your bedroom. A certain someone, however, had other plans. You squealed out in surprise, when you felt the door creaking open and a hand wrapping around your wrist. Before you could even protest, Muzan had tugged you in.

He spun you around, your back flattened against the now closed door as he planted his hands on each side of your head, basically caging you between his body and the mahogany surface behind you.

Every single time your eyes met you felt like drowning into a sea of blood, but it was addictive. Therefore, you flicked your gaze up, your droopy eyes meeting his shimmering red ones. You had not realised you were that close. You could count the different shades of red in his irises and you could spot the droplets of water in his dark eyelashes, a clear sign he had just taken his shower.

A shower. Well, shit.

You had no time to elaborate that he was half-naked, his lips locked with yours in a tender kiss almost immediately and he stole your breath from your lungs with expertise. It did not last long, though. It was fleeting, yet strangely gentle. Nothing like the fervent kisses he had blessed you with until now. Yet, you loved it, and when your mouths parted you found yourself yearning for more.

Asking for it, or pulling him down for another one was out of discussion, though.

He grinned down at you, his fingers running through his locks as he scrutinized your face in amusement. Was it really that easy getting you flustered?

"What was that?" you breathed out, fidgeting with your necklace again.

"Hello to you too, love. – he mused, smirking – I thought you were still upset about what had happened yesterday. Giving you a good morning kiss sounded like a good way to make it up to you" he replied casually, taking a step back to let you have some personal space back.

You blushed, chewing on your lower lip not to embarrass yourself further in front of him. Keeping up with his mood swings was exhausting. In moments like these, when sounded spontaneous and romantic, you felt on cloud nine. You wondered if he really meant what he had said, but you had to protect your haert from breaking down.

Guys like him broke hearts easily and you were not going to let him have the privilege to destroy yours.

"Uhm, well... Thank you – you stammered, rubbing the back of your neck in distress – How are you?" you asked him, watching him ambling towards a drawer and pulling out a pair of black boxers from it.

It was right when he he turned back towards you that you finally got a good view of his pectorals and abs. He resembled a god. His chiseled muscles, his V line and even that... What was that? A scar? How did you fail to see it yesterday? It seemed deep, a neat cut scarring his perfect body from the top of his right shoulder and stopping almost in the middle of his chest.

How did he got it? What had happened to him? You really wanted to ask him about it, but you did not want to break the spell he had casted on you two. Moments like that felt real, you enjoyed them.

"Are you staying for the show? – he abruptly snapped you out of your stream of consciousness – I don't mind, really. But, if I'm not mistaken, you have some classes to attend today. Nakime is probably already waiting for you in the car" he stated, a smug smile crossing his lips.

Nakime? Was she the one he had assigned you for the lift at the Campus? Gosh, after what had happened between you two, you would have rather died than been locked in a car with her.

You rolled your eyes at him "Cocky much?" you chimed.

"Very cocky".

You waved your hand at him, twirling around to reach the door and exit his bedroom "See you tonight, Muzzie" you teased him, only to heard him snort at the new nickname you had come up with for him.

"You too, Muzzie's cumbag" he retorted, right when you had got a hold of the doorknob. You shivered, breath hitching in your throat in shock.

Muzzie's what?

"You take that back" you bluntly said, turning around and folding your arms against your chest.

Muzan winked at you "I don't think I will. – he stated, shrugging – After all, it's true. How many times have I spilled my cum into your cunt? Three, right? How long will it take for me to get you pregnant?" he taunted you, watching the way your irritation grew with every word coming from his mouth.

No. No, you were not going to make a scene about it. You were going to play his own game and beat him on it. Giyuu, your best friend, had always praised your ability to corner people with your quick replies.

"Oh, I beg to differ, Muzzie. In order to get me pregnant, you'd need a dick. – you crooned, biting on your lower lip softly – And, if you keep on pissing me off, I'm going to chop it off and throw it at the alligators in Florida. Wouldn't it be crazy? You'd have to ask Kokushibo, or Douma for an heir then. I think the latter wouldn't mind getting me pregnant, you know? See you tonight!" you piped out, winking at an amazed, abashed Muzan staring at you in pure admiration.

When you disappeared behind the door, he grinned, dropping his towel down to the floor to get dressed "I think she's the right one, after all" he murmured at himself.

He wondered if you two were so different as he thought you were.

♚

You were glad Muzan had allowed you to attend your classes without his dogs watching every step you took. Nakime had driven you to the Campus and you had agreed in meeting her later in the morning, after lunch. You expected the car drive to be awkward, but the woman beside you was almost as silent as Kokushibo and you spent your time texting your friends for your usual lunch break together.

Walking out of your last class for the morning, you made your way to the atrium and, when your eyes locked with a piar of ocean blue orbs, you sprinted towards your saturnine friend and involved him into a tight hug. It was good seeing a familiar face. It was good being the only person in the world Giyuu allowed to be hugged by. You were proud of that privilege and today you were enjoying it too much.

"Hi" you mumbled, burying your face onto the crook of his neck.

Giyuu hummed and ran his fingers through your hair gently, allowing you to get your daily dose of cuddles from the non-affective man.

"Hi, snowflake" he said, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

Snowflake. Although some of your close friends knew about the small tatoo on your left wrist, only Giyuu knew about the true meaning behind it. Your parents had given you this nickname because the day you took your first footsteps without their help it was snowing outside.

You giggled, both for the nickname and the loving gesture "Aww, someone is getting a squishy-heart here. – you whispered, craning your neck to take a look at his face – I've missed you" you said, taking a step back from him.

Giyuu sighed and tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans "I am sorry. I should have called you, but I was out of town. Family problems, you could say" he ranted, staring at his feet.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. – you reassured him, your grip on your briefcase tightening – I do not want to sound rude, but I am pretty hungry. Let's go to grab something to eat and you can fill me up with the news in front of some good ramen" you suggested, a small smile gracing your glossy lips.

Giyuu was about to reply something, when a boisterous voice startled both of you and some other people passing by. You knew exactly who it was without even turning around to see him. He knew how to make you acknowledge his presence, without you noticing him.

"Y/N, it's good to see you!" Kyojuro beamed from behind you, orange and red hues glimmering under the sunlight seeping from the glass rooftop of the building.

You turned around, a hand still settled over your chest as you recovered from the fright he had given you "Kyojuro... It's good to see you too! We were about to go out for lunch, do you perhaps want to join us? It's been a while since we have spent some quality time together" you asked him, only to receive an unexpected reply from your gluttonous friend.

"Thank you for your invitation! But nor me, neither Giyuu can join you! We've got to go in five minutes!" he exclaimed, folding his arms against his toned chest.

You pouted, your eyes darting on your best friend you simply nodded his head apologetically. Were they serious? What was more important than chatching up with a friend?

"Guys, come on, where are you going? Can I come with you then?" you blurted out, frowning in contempt.

"No!" they fretted as one, eyes widened and a nervous smile crossing their faces. How were they supposed to tell you about the secret meeting of the Slayers? It was out of discussion. What were the supposed to say, when their boss was going to plot another plan to kill your future husband?

Ah, yes! Sorry, Y/N, did we mention that you are about to get widowed?

They knew about you, about Muzan. What they did not know was that you had a deal with him.

You narrowed your eyes at them and jabbed your finger at the two men staring at you awkwardly "Assassins are a better company than you two. Bye, bottom-dwellers" you piped out, before marching to the opposite direction they were about to take.

They blinked at you, trying their best not to flinch at your unintentional allusion, watching you take your phone out of the pocket of your ripped jeans and calling someone. Kyojuro stared at you intently, his eyes boring holes on your back for a few seconds, before he finally spoke out.

"She's hot when she's mad!" he declared without any hesitation.

Giyuu choked, his eyes trailed on his friend in surprise and a slight sting of irritation. Did Kyojuro like you? He should have not felt jealousy welling up in his chest. You were not Giyuu's girlfriend, you had always just been friends with him. Now, however, he was asking himself if he had made a mistake in burying his love for you.

"Do you like Y/N?" he inquired, his fists clenching and unclenching down his sides as he awaited for his comrade to reply something.

"I think I do!" Kyojuro frankly admitted, patting on Giyuu's shoulder and encouraging him to take their leave. A hole started to form into the Wave's chest, his eyes dusted with a dredful feeling of defeat. However, as they exited the University, Giyuu tensed. He felt someone watching them, he felt more than a set of eyes focusing on them, studying each and every move they made.

And you felt the same. You felt someone watching you as you ate your meal alone on a bench, as you went to the toilet, to the library to do some researches and, when you grabbed a book from a shelf, you realized that effectively you had been watched this whole time.

Maybe Muzan had not kept his promise. How could he let his innocent girl strolling down the Campus without his bodyguard following her, if she was hanging out with the Slayers?

You sucked in a breath, the book you had grabbed slipping from your fingers and colliding with the floor with a dull thud, as your wary eyes locked with a lilac one through the empty spot on the shelf.

It was the first time you got to see her eyes and you were surprised to note that she probably could not see from her right eye: a black eye patch covered it, giving her a even deadlier look than what you had been imagining during your convivence at the Kibutsuji manor. What was she doing there?

"Nakime! What the Hell are you doing here?" you quipped, kneeling down to pick up the heavy tome laying at your feet. Did she just decide to stalk you on her own accord, or was it just another order from Muzan? You really needed to have a chit-chat with him later.

The brunette circled the bookshelf, until she was standing right in front of you "Protecting you, miss L/N. Isn't it obvious?" she stated casually, cocking her head to the side at your apparent frivolous question.

You sighed and were about to retort something, when you heard the keeper clearing her throat to draw your attention. Whipping your head towards her, you saw the woman gesturing for you to lower your voices and you bowed your head at her apologetically.

Nakime, on the other hand, had an irk mark popping on her forehead and, in your peripheral, you saw her reaching for something underneath her thigh. Flashes of the first time you met played before your eyes, as you remembered what she always brought with her. You gawked in shock, suddenly shoving her against the bookshelf, your hand blocking her wrist down in the desperate attempt to save the old woman for being slashed by the feral brunette.

"Nakime, Jesus, what are you doing?! She's not the enemy!" you hissed, eyes round as she easily overpowered you and flipped your position over.

You gasped as your back hit the shelves behind you and she held your hands up above your head "Y/N-sama, this woman disrespected you. You do not need to apologize to anyone. Muzan-sama said no one should ever make you bend the knee" she asserted, making your lips part in disbelief.

Why was he so overprotective of you? You were not even a real couple. Additionally, it was in your nature being polite.

"Well, I am the soon to be First Lady and, if I'm not mistaken, my opinion matters! I don't want you to hurt anyone, alright?" you fired back, earning an apologetic look by her. She blushed, her grip on your wrists loosened, as she hesitantly flicked her gaze down at your bodies. You had not even realized your proximity, until you followed her gaze and your breath hitched in your throat.

"Uhm... N-Nakime?" you whispered, earning a bashful glance from her. Why did you always end up in awakward situations with her?

"Yes, miss L/N?".

"Could you please let me go?" you quietly asked her.

The brunette took a step back, eyes downcast as she nodded her head at you "I'm sorry! I apologize. – she muttered, clenching her fists down her sides – Can I ask you something personal, miss?" she added then, scanning the area around you as if to make sure you were safe from prying eyes.

You massaged your wrists, a small smile tugging the angles of your lips upwards slightly "Of course, Nakime. – you chimed, leaning against the bookshelf to collect yourself – And, please, just call me Y/N. There's so need to call me by my surname and apologize profusely" you stated, watching her straightening her back and blushing even more at your words.

"This is going to be hard for me, but I'll do my best. – she stammered, flicking her gaze up to meet your bright eyes – Are you, by any chance, bisexual? Because I would very much like to entertain you, when Muzan-sama cannot do it" she said, making you clamp your mouth shut in embarrassment and palming your forehead in discomfort.

Nakime was going to be the death of you. Did her blushes mean that she fancied you?

You were about to answer her question, when your phone buzzed once, twice, thrice and you were forced to check your phone. As you had imagined, the texts were all from your demanding lover.

MUZAN: I've just made a bank transfer on your bank account. I hope 10.000$ are enough.

MUZAN: I have asked Akaza to leave a box on your bed. I want you to wear what's inside for tonight.

MUZAN: Also, I hope you are down for something different. Perhaps painful, even I apologize ahead of time... But I feel experimental today.

Muzan Kibutsuji was impossible to deal with. You huffed and slumped down to the floor, resting your forehead on top of your knees "Nakime, if you wish to shower me in affection, it would be a good time to hug me right now" you bewailed, batting your eyes close to prepare yourself for what was yet to come.

And as you were about to live an extrasensorial experience with Mr. Kibutsuji, a group of people were polishing their swords as they waited for their Master to grace them with his presence.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello there!

Once again, I would love to express my gratitude to my faithful audience for the support you are showing me both on here and Wattpad. You are amazing! If you have noticed, I’m probably going to make Y/N bisexual. I’m still debating, though!Also, I thought I was going to post my Kyojuro one-shot earlier, but I didn’t like it lmao. Have a little patience!

I hope you have enjoyed the chapter and I take the chance to announce that I have decided to open requests for Headcanons… So, submit them!

X O X O

Tag list: @tired-writer04 @hjjks @kakuchosbff @yazzzmints @bookandstar @z3r0art @cherrymanhuas @kazuhasslvt @selenenyx0124 @infinitedilf

[freddie-77-ao3]

an incomplete list of camp antics that lee fletcher put up with during his time as counselor/camp dad

malcolm. that's it. malcolm as a whole. that boy is so fucked up he's his own bullet point.

the fourth of july where cecil, lou ellen, and will raised the dead, and started a plague (that spread through the ones they'd necromanced)

the christmas where cecil, lou ellen, and will set hermes cabin on fire to win extreme cabin decorating

the four times michael climbed him like a tree so that clarisse couldn't reach him

the pair of wolves connor and malcolm brought home (and camp then adopted)

katie selling weed at camp

katie selling weed to gods

katie selling weed to mortals

travis' addiction to caffeine (10 espresso shots a day, plus a caffeine pill, plus four cups of black tea)

travis' caffeine WITHDRAWAL that one time cecil and lou ellen hid it on april fools day

drew tanaka inventing a gene editing program to make a giant fuzzy catapillar (so that she could ride it into battle)

the three week period that connor insisted on wearing four inch heels and a rainbow pride flag as a dress because sherman used gay as an insult

will trying to kick michael out of the cabin so they could have a cat (and michael's subsequent supportance of the action)

lou ellen experimenting with magic and turning katie into a lion

lou ellen experimenting with magic and permanently changing her hair color (on accident)

the time drew turned in a book report on connor's diary and lee, as the head counselor for winter session, had to read and GRADE it

the time annabeth and percy got into a fist fight over the correct definition of hamburger, and whether percy could play it in scrabble

travis eating katie's lip balm and getting sick

travis eating another tube of katie's lip balm and getting sick (again)

every time michael and jake babysat harley

the time cecil tried to learn the lyre

the time lou ellen and will learned how to break lyres (in 18 different ways)

katie pranking travis by making corn mazes grow around him randomly for two months straight (the amount of corn lee then had to eat was infuriating)

the winter sessions where drew, connor, and malcolm were counselors (and subsequently hijacked every counsel meeting with insane bullshit)

the two month period malcolm and drew became new york vigilantes

the following four month period malcolm and drew convinced connor to become a new york vigilante WITH them

lou ellen and will knowing cecil was in prison for three days before bailing him out (has happened at least four times)

michael lighting clarisse on fire

the possum memes cecil spends hours making on the infirmary computer going viral and chiron questioning lee for an hour and a half on whether lee thinks there's a leak at camp because memes in the mortal world are dangerous apparently?

the time malcolm macheted through a bunch of stacks of paperwork because of connor's typo

the time drew convinced connor eggs weren't real when they were six

the time drew convinced connor eggs weren't real when they were twelve

malcolm got hit by a taco truck and drew proceeded to buy tacos from the same truck

cecil drinking shampoo because tsa told him it wasn't allowed on the plane

cecil drinking shampoo because he liked the taste

cecil getting his stomach pumped because he drank four bottles of shampoo in a day

travis and malcolm getting married in vegas during a mission

cecil drinking glowstick juice

cecil learning that drinking glowstick juice is bad and swallowing a glowstick whole

the time lou ellen, cecil, will, connor, and drew left malcolm in chicago for a week before remembering and malcolm just bought himself an apartment and didn't want to leave???

clovis convincing all the campers that every child of hypnos is narcoleptic and he needs to sleep ALL THE TIME (he does not. some do. clovis isn't one of them)

cecil, will, and lou ellen setting the big house on fire for lee's birthday party. it uh. it wasn't even his birthday.

the month where travis decided that jellybeans had a high enough fruit concentrate that he didn't need to eat any actual fruit or vegetables

connor dubbing a depression corner and making malcolm sit in it when malcolm said things about his childhood (or life in general)

malcolm eating scrambled eggs despite being allergic and breaking out into hives every time

drew drowning malcolm (he lived dw)

malcolm lighting the microwave on fire

drew and malcolm convincing connor to snort smarties with them to see if they had different flavors

lou ellen, cecil, and will burning down three cabins with a flamethrower (to see if they could)

cecil eating dirt (multiple times)

every time malcolm dislocates his joints to prove points. it happens a lot.

the tunnel systems that connor and malcolm found and started living out of (actually lee's not too mad at that one because they found actual rooms and now some of the year round campers have like. bedrooms. underground tunnel bedrooms, but bedrooms nonetheless)

malcolm making a game out of is it asthma or a panic attack

drew making a scoreboard out of malcolm's game is it asthma or a panic attack

cecil making cookies until he was happy. it didn't happen. he made 479 cookies before anyone stopped him.

Austin complaining about how his severe third degree burns from the lava wall meant he couldn't post a youtube video one week

michael doesn't believe in raspberries. nothing lee does convinced him.

malcolm and lou ellen messing around with magic and both getting turned into babies.

babified malcolm almost getting blended because travis didn't know it was the chili dog to be blended, not the kid

will's emo phase where he insists lee sing welcome to the black parade at campfire every night

clarisse thought the tooth fairy stole your teeth. for. a good four years.

connor tried to ask malcolm on a date and just asking ended so badly that athena cabin burned down

michael doesn't think penguins exist

lou ellen, cecil, and will's magic trick that burned percy's eyebrows off for two weeks

instead of making the connection that malcolm has a crush on connor, malcolm thinks connor cursed him???

cecil eats orange peels. he's allergic to oranges.

connor drew and malcolm start several cults in the mortal world. one is about a god of teeth. they have followers.

every time a new camper arrived for a solid two months, drew would say want to hear a gay joke and connor would emerge from a closet (that drew shoved them in)

travis drank vinegar because he didn't want to go get water

travis drank oil because he didn't want to go get water

thalia told someone to not run down the stairs. they jumped out the window instead.

clarisse destroyed 24 ping pong tables while lee was alive. 37 overall.

Miranda bought a parenting book, and then highlighted it and added names according to the issues everyone had

travis used the rim of a gatorade bottle as a monocle for three weeks straight

At camp counsellor meetings, Malcolm sits in Connor’s lap to ‘save space’

cecil tried to teach lou ellen to cook. she blew up three ovens.

[hetaczechia]

Dean: I tried making my own Red Bull with crushed-up caffeine pills, sparkling water, and Flintstones chewable vitamins.

Dean: Apparently, Sam thinks I’m ‘lucky to be alive’.

[inlovewithpandora]

- Overworked -

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem!stressed!reader

Request: [ @spidersthetic ] Jesus, have you been awake the entire night? + Look, I'm okay! I've pulled all nighters before. + I'll carry you to bed if I have to. + Go. To. Bed. That's an order. or I'll check in on you in an hour. You'd better not have moved. Whichever fits. w/ Hobie Brown || Reader is working on a presentation for work and stressing over it cause she wants it to be good because she might get a promotion she neglects sleep and Hobie notices and tells her she needs to sleep but she is too stubborn and refuses to so Hobie has to basically drag her to bed and that's where you can use either go to bed or I'll check... or both if you can fit it in.

Synopsis: When you start drowning in work Hobie is there to save you.

Content: angst, fluff, established relationship, concerned Hobie, stressed reader, Hobie forcing reader to gts, reader being stubborn but does listen to him, kissing toward the end, just a cute little fic!

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting! I hope it meets your expectations!

Word Count: 1k

Extra: Requests are open! Please read rules before requesting! || Likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated❤️!

Links: Navigation || Astv Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

As you scan through your presentation for the millionth time tonight, drinking another can of your favorite energy drink, you decipher the sound of footsteps inside the apartment.

You know it’s Hobie, so you don’t leave your work zone, continuing to work with tunnel vision, hoping that this presentation wows your boss and earns you the well-deserved promotion.

Every night you’ve spent working on this presentation made you want to rip your hair out and claw at your eyes from the stress. And even though you are filled with tension, you know that the all-nighters, consumption of unhealthy amounts of energy drinks, and overworking will be worth it once your new work bonus hits your account.

Hobie walks quietly, assuming you were fast asleep. He walks down the hallway, about to walk into your bedroom, but he notices that there is a light on in another room. When he approaches your home office, he hears your groans of frustration. He opens the door and sees you running your hands down your face then slamming them on the desk.

When you look up at him, he can see you’re tired. The sunken eyes and the way you seem to be fighting the urge to let them flutter close give it all away.

“Jesus, have you been awake the entire night?” He asks rhetorically as he doesn’t need your answer to confirm it, his voice laced with both concern and disbelief.

“Yes, but-”

“Love, you need to sleep and not stress about this presentation.” Hobie knows how much this presentation means to you and he’s rooting for you to get it the promotion, but he doesn’t want you to neglect your health over it.

“Hobie, you know how much I want this promotion! I’m competing with multiple people and I need to be at the top.” A yawn slips through your lips upon finishing your sentence. You begin to rub your puffy eyes as you turn back to your desk and continue working on your presentation.

“I know, but I just don't want you to tire yourself out-” Hobie cuts his sentence short when he notices you dozing off. “y/n! See this is why you need to go to sleep, your body is begging for rest!”

You straighten up and act as if you weren’t drifting just a second ago. “Look, I'm okay! I've pulled all-nighters before. I’ll just drink some more energy drinks or take caffeine pills so I can stay awake. Stop worrying, babe. Just go to sleep and I’ll join you later.” You plant a kiss on his cheek, trying your best to reassure him that you're fine, but Hobie knows that this is only your stubbornness making an appearance.

“No, y/n, you’re going to sleep. I'll carry you to bed if I have to.” His words just go in one ear and out the other. You are solely focused on this presentation and nothing is going to stop you –apparently, except for your boyfriend. As you blatantly ignore Hobie’s pleas to come to bed, trying to add the finishing touches to your PowerPoint slide, you feel a pair of hands scoop you up.

“Hobie! Put me down. I need to finish this!” You lightly hit his chest as he carries you down the hallway in bridal style.

Hobie gives you the same treatment you gave him earlier, ignoring your words as he places you on the bed. “Go. To. Bed. That's an order.” He gets into bed next to you, pulling you into his embrace and wraps his arms around your torso.

You start to form a protest against him, but when you feel his warmth against your skin, you decide that a little “nap” wouldn’t hurt. Just a little nap then you would go back to work, or that’s at least what you try to convince yourself.

“Fine, but only because you forced me.” You playfully roll your eyes, running your hand through his hair to lightly massage his scalp. After a while of both of you cuddling in silence, snores begin to echo throughout your bedroom with both of you sleeping peacefully, intertwined with each other's bodies.

—

The next morning you wake up full of energy. Being able to finally have a full night's sleep makes you feel the most relaxed you’ve felt in days. You now have the ability to come up with new ideas for your presentation without having brain fog. You feel so thankful that Hobie forced you to get some rest because if he didn’t you wouldn’t be able to have this new sense of clarity.

As you start cooking breakfast, you feel a pair of large hands wrap around your waist. “Mornin’, love.” His husky voice rings through your ears as he kisses your cheek and rests his head in the crook of your neck.

“Good morning.” You reply with a smile as you run your hand down his cheek before placing your attention back on your food. Hobie looks at the different things you are cooking and realizes it all makes his favorite breakfast combined.

“Is all of this for me?”

You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck while looking up at him with loving eyes, “yes it is. I wanted to make you breakfast as a “thank you” for helping me last night. I really appreciate you seeing that I needed to take a break.”

When you pull him in for a tender kiss, he’s taken by surprise, but it doesn’t take him long before he kisses you back, moving his hands from around your waist and gliding them down your body and lightly squeezing your butt which makes you grin into the kiss.

“You’re welcome, love. You know I’ll always look out for you.” Hobie smiles softly as he lovingly cups your cheek. Hobie always makes sure to keep an eye on you because he knows you have a tendency of overwork and causing yourself stress. “So now do you promise to not overwhelm yourself with work?”

“Yes, babe. I promise. No more overworking. But if I do, I know that I’ll always have you there to ground me.”

I hope you enjoyed❤️!

Previous Fic

Editor - @justmemyselfandthemoon

Taglist: @inspace1 @phoenixx69 @savagemickey03 @soilmayo @liyahsocorro @baizzhu @solanawrld @onlyloaksgf @popeheywardssecretgf @number1gal @taylormarieee @toneystank-3000

©️inlovewithpandora ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

AFTG characters as real life things my friends and I have said Part 2

Part 1

————————————————————————

Kevin: Yeah the ADHD and burnout have fucked me over this year

Neil: C’est la vie, that’s what caffeine is for

Neil: Nicotine if that stops working

Kevin: I am not taking up smoking, I tried once and it was nasty

Neil: Gum, patches, etc

Neil: Still addictive which is bad but idc about 90% of what happens in my life

Kevin: And I take it our progress in finding a therapist is 0%

Neil: When was I looking for a therapist?

————————————————————————

Nicky: I think the funniest “for the plot” thing I could do is seduce someone into buying me the build-a-bear sylveon for Valentine’s Day

————————————————————————

Kevin: *writing an academic paper* not to be obviously mentally unwell but what if they execute me for doing a citation wrong or forgetting one

————————————————————————

Neil: believe it or not when I was researching my sexual identity I was not like hey google what slur can people accurately call me

————————————————————————

Aaron: I’m gonna die young and over-caffeinated

————————————————————————

Neil: I’m trying to think of cold dark things we can do in the summer and it’s very hard

Andrew: faking our deaths in one of the rivers

————————————————————————

Kevin: what if I knocked myself out with sleeping pills – are we feeling 3am conversations or 20 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period?

Aaron: please neither

Kevin: unfortunately those are the options bestie

————————————————————————

Renee: what up apparently Oreos are satanic

Nicky: Renee

Nicky: Renee you can’t just say that and not give me an explanation

————————————————————————

Allison: I got called basic in high school for liking java chip frappes and felt sad and now I will salt the earth on which any man’s throne of inadequacy stands

[strxwberrybtch]

A Hellish Love Story // Pt. 1

Pairing(s): Vox x F!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Alcohol and Drugs

A/N: Hello my lovies! This is my first fic here on tumblr- it's a little short butttt I'm hoping to make this a multi-part series. This will definitely be a NSFW series with eventual smut ;) I would love to hear your input on this first part! Without further ado, enjoy :)

---

In life, the art of literature enthralled you. It captivated you in more ways than one. The way that words could transport you to another place completely fascinated you. At first, you treated it as a hobby or one could argue a distraction. One to drown out the harsh words that your parents constantly threw back and forth at each other.

It was no surprise that you found yourself constantly with a pen and paper in hand, jotting down your never ending ideas. You started taking it more seriously once you started high school. Normal english classes didn't excite you as much as the creative writing course did. Once you were done with school, you began to devote your young adulthood to writing. You quickly found a sufficient job and instantly got to work. All you wanted was to do was share your creative visions with the world. You wanted people to feel the passion and emotion that you felt while writing it.

It was a somewhat peaceful day at the shitty office you worked at. You had pulled an all nighter the night before working on a screenplay. Not just any screenplay though. This had to of been your best work yet. It was your ticket out of the slums and to the big leagues. This was your chance.

You sat in your tiny cubicle typing your heart away. Solely relying on caffeine and adderall- which you may or may not have abused from time to time. But this was your livelihood, your purpose in life if you will. The sun had slowly began to set at the office. Many of your fellow peers were chit-chatting about their plans for the weekend. You easily tuned them out as you focused on the writing in front of you. Feeling a wave of tiredness, you popped another pill into your mouth- washing it down with your coffee. The adrenaline and thought of being so close to being finished had you eager and motivated. You almost didn’t acknowledge the loud screech of the building’s fire alarm.

Apparently a fire had broken out and quickly began to ensue absolute chaos within the building. Of course with the building being in a not so fortunate area- the sprinklers had stopped working years ago. While your coworkers scrambled to escape the ever growing deadly smoke and flames, you stayed behind at your desk. You anxiously gnawed at your nails, waiting for your files to download onto a usb drive. You cursed at yourself for getting carried away with writing and not saving throughout the day as you usually did. Your career's future was on that computer. You’d rather die than lose it all.

Unfortunately that’s where your human life had come to a fiery end, engulfed in the flames along with your life’s work. So you assume that’s why you ended up with fiery, crimson eyes and the ability to manipulate fire. Ironic.. in a shitty sorta way. Scratch that… a very shitty way.

After seeing ‘Writers Wanted’ at the end of a VoxTek commercial, your heart fluttered at the thought of pursuing your passion in the afterlife. Hell, you did die for it so you might as well give your death meaning. You quickly memorized the address and beelined it to the VVV tower.

Given your obvious passion for the job, you were immediately hired by a higher up employee, of course with the quick text of approval from Vox. After getting a brief job description, you were over the moon excited. Writing scripts for TV, like are you kidding?? You had spent your entire mortal life trying to get to that point in your career. Who woulda thought all it took was well… your life.

You didn’t have think twice before signing over your soul to the demon overlord. Why would you? Selling your soul in exchange for your dream job was an easy decision. Especially since it came with great pay and an apartment to live in.

As for Vox though, you really never saw him too much. When you did he always gave a charming smile your way which you kindly reciprocated. He was undeniably attractive, even with a TV for a head.

Whilst working at the V tower you were able to meet the one and only adult star, Angel Dust. He quickly introduced you to Cherri Bomb, and boom (no pun intended) your trio of friendship was born.

It’s been a few years since then and that’s how you ended up here, sitting at your desk aimlessly typing away listening to a very whiny spider demon.

“Come onnnn Y/N!! We haven’t gone out in forever and we both have the night off for once” Angel exasperated, throwing his arms up into the air, desperately trying to convince you to go out with himself and Cherri.

You sighed quietly to yourself knowing this wasn’t going to end soon. He had been going on and on about how you work too much and haven’t been able to have fun for the past 20 minutes now. You rubbed your temples and took off your blue light glasses. Quickly closing your laptop and spinning around in your chair, you were met with Angel laying upside down on your bed, with his head hanging off the side.

“Okay! Fine! You win! And you shouldn’t lay like that,” You laughed while leaning down to lightly flick his forehead.

Angel swatted your hand away and sat up. Though you could tell he did it too fast after he placed a hand to his head, feeling dizzy from all the blood rushing back to the rest of his body. All you could do was shake your head and smile at the goof.

“HAHA YES!! I’ll text Cherri and let her know. Now get your ass up outta that chair and get ready! Show them what all of hell’s been missin lately,” He winked and quickly picked up his phone to message the missing piece to our trio.

You rolled your eyes briefly and went into your bathroom to make yourself look presentable.

“Can you find me something to wear pretty pleaseee!” You shouted from the bathroom.

“Oh you know I gotcha toots,” By hearing the muffled tone of his voice you could just tell he was smirking. You had a feeling you’d regret asking for his help but quickly shook the thought away. Angel was right. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you went out with your two troublemaker friends. It had to of been at least a few months. You needed this.

You deserved this.

With one last glance at your bare, tired face you got to work. Seeing as it had been forever, you decided to go all out. It took only about an hour or so for you to be satisfied with your hair and makeup. Once finished you came out of your bathroom to see Angel was no longer on your bed. However replacing him was the outfit he had picked out for you.

A simple black crop top, the shortest denim skirt you owned, a silver chain belt that connected with hearts, and to top it all off a pair of black chunky heeled boots. He knew you all too well.

After putting on the outfit you stared at yourself in the mirror. You almost didn’t recognize the reflection in front of you. It reminded you of when you were in high school. Sure you were addicted to writing but your living friends were a little bit of a bad influence, much like the ones you have now. They had convinced you to get a fake id so that you could go clubbing with them. And to be honest, you were glad they did. Who would’ve wanted to miss out on a early 2000’s club scene? You had a lot of fun during that time. Yet, that’s the very place you discovered the drug that got you through pretty much the rest of your living life.

A smile began to spread across your face as you checked yourself out. The outfit accentuated every part of your body perfectly. Out of all the time you’ve spent in hell, this was undoubtedly the best you had ever looked. With one last once over in the mirror, you turned off your bedroom lights and went to find Angel.

It didn’t take long to find him sprawled out on your couch with his phone in hand. A VoxTech sitcom played quietly on your tv in the background.

“You ready to go?” He asked without looking up once he heard you enter the living room.

“What do you think?” You questioned him with a coy smile.

He quickly glanced up at you and dropped his phone onto his lap. In an instant he was standing in front of you.

“Holy shit toots! I knew you were good looking but this makes me question my own sexuality,” He said in a teasingly, seductive voice as he twirled you around.

“Shut up loser,” You laughed, shoving his shoulder.

“I’m just speaking the truth! But come on Cherri is already there,”

You turned off everything and locked your apartment. You held onto the door knob for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting go to trail after Angel.

---

It wasn’t long before you and Angel arrived at Club 666, one of the Pride Ring’s most popular clubs owned by your boss’s situationship, Valentino. You never really came across the moth man while you were at work, only hearing stories from Angel Dust. Some of the stories were good but the majority… not so much. It's pretty safe to say, you don't want to cross him while he's in one of his moods.

After climbing out of the cab, your hands found the hem of your skirt almost instantly. You hastily pulled down the short material that had ridden up your thighs on the way there, almost flashing the black lace panties you decided to wear. Once situated outside of the club, hand in hand, you and Angel made your way into the booming club. After fighting your way through the seemingly never ending crowd, you spot Cherri at the bar downing a shot with a group of random sinners, not very surprising.

She perks up at the sight of you and Angel, waving her hand in the air with a toothy grin.

“There you fuckers are! I thought you up and ditched me for a second there,” She said quickly pulling Angel into a tight hug. Once she got to you she paused for a moment with both her hands on your shoulders.

“Holy shit Y/N, you look hot!!” She exclaimed examining every part of you.

“Awe thanks Cherri,” You smiled and brought her into a warm hug.

“Hey! How come when I complimented you earlier I got shoved?!” Angel asked with his arms crossed.

“Because I’m used to your flirty compliments,” You laughed as his pouty expression slowly turned into a sly smile.

He brushed his hair back and huffed out, “Point taken. Alright enough bullshit. Let’s get this party started bitches!”.

---

You had lost track of how many shots you and your friends had taken. You knew it had to of been a lot though with how much the club was spinning. It wasn’t spinning in a bad way though. Sure you’d feel like shit in the morning but at this point you didn’t care. The lights of the dance floor strobed bright green as it flashed through the fog. You felt euphoric and giddy as you danced alongside Cherri.

Angel had ditched you both pretty early on once he noticed Val. He took place under one of Valentino’s lengthy arms. Even in your drunken state, you glanced over a few times to make sure he was okay. And from what you observed he was laughing with a fellow star, taking in the moth’s red smoke. Cherri broke you out of your worry as she tapped on your shoulder.

“I’m gonna go grab another round yeah? Want one?” She slurred with a lazy smile, shouting over the intense music.

You thought for a brief moment before slightly slurring back, "Sure why not!"

You watched as her form slowly disappeared through the sea of dancing, sweaty bodies. Feeling the music, you felt yourself truly let loose. This was the most fun you had in a very long time. A dazed smile found its way across your lips as you swayed your body to the beat of the music. You danced without a care in the world. As if nobody was watching.

However, someone was watching.

From a secluded area of the club, a certain TV demon sat with a drink in one of his clawed hands...

Watching your every move.

///

AHHHH I really hope you guys enjoyed this first part. I wrote it in one sitting... oops XD. Let me know what you think!!

[kyluxtrashpit]

So. Stomach update. As I haven’t given one here in a while lmao

After the first month of the medication (plus an ultrasound that came back normal), the reflux problems came right back so I went to another doc. He said okay, here’s more pills, take them twice a day, and we’ll also do a barium swallow x-ray. Also apparently I was being way too careful with food, so the bright side is I can eat most things again (yay) but the downside is I had to cut caffeine completely 100%. And it’s awful

Anyway. I had the barium thing yesterday (it was also awful lmao) and doc called me today with results and. Everything is normal? No signs of inflammation, polyps, GERD, any reflux at all, or an ulcer. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary

Which like. That sounds great. But while I’m not having the reflux or pain right now I still feel like I’m burping more than usual? And that was one of my symptoms. So he said to finish the pills, taking the last week of them once a day instead of twice, and then see how it goes. And never take NSAIDs again

I hope this just means that I did have an ulcer and maybe it’s just in the final stages of healing and couldn’t be seen, so once I finish the pills it will definitely be gone and I will never have this issue again. But I’m also worried cause like. If my entire upper GI and all my abdominal organs are normal and I never did have an ulcer and there’s no signs of anything else being wrong. Then what the fuck is it? Will it go away? Or is this just my life now? Cause while I’m glad I can eat mostly freely again, ZERO caffeine is just not sustainable

Idk. Maybe I’m getting worked up over nothing and it will be completely gone in ~3 weeks when I finish the pills. I really really hope so. I’m just also really worried that it will come back again and then wtf do I do cause I can’t do this forever and if they can’t find anything wrong with me, then how they hell do I fix it?

[sugarbang]

==> Be a boy online.

"Boy" is used lightly here, you're into your early twenties, and not everyone includes men in their double digits to be considered "boys." But you wouldn't fit most peoples definition of a man- not really, you're more like a doll. Plastic, commodified, commercialized. As the face of Crocker Corp., you have been kept in a small bubble for the entire twenty two years of your life you've experienced. After the original heir went missing, you've been lined up as the son of the current figurehead of Crocker Corp to eventually take over the company. For now though, you're only the face. You still hold all of your baby fat, your eyes sparkle any time a light is shined on them, you have perfect teeth, the perfect smile, a boisterous laugh that infects everyone in the room. They feed you a diet of cakes, caffeine pills, mountain dew and red meats and they keep you happy. But they don't keep you happy enough. Recently, you've secretly been sending hand written letters to a boy you met at one of your parties, the child of "Lalondes." owner, Lalonde happened to be one of the most famous fashion brands to date, and your mother had her eyes on the owner for a while. Apparently they used to be friends or something, but your Mama has told you she's not allowed to speak on it, so you've never asked. You, however, know that she would be furious to know about your interest in Dirk.

Your name is Jake Crocker, you are twenty two, and your friend recently encouraged you to make a secret blog. This is your secret blog.

heyyy this is a jake crocker rp blog. my name oocly is also jake (i also go by cain) i use he/him or hy/hym and im a 23 y.o bigender white jew. i also play @personallaptop @ponybullet @redcr9ssnine and @gimcrackterror

No proship, racists or genderbends. I DO NOT RP SMUT. Please tell me if my muses are stressing you out or stop responding if you are upset about an interaction. I probably won't be on much because of irl stuff.

Heavy trigger warning for things such as child abuse, alcoholism, child abuse within the media industry, mind control, brainwashing, themes of capitalism and facism, crockercorp, and general shit related to that. This is a very very VERY crockercentric blog and the entire au circles around crockercorp. Jake has literally been truman showed his entire life, and this is his first experience leaving that bubble on this blog.

[tenpintsofsundrop]

Spencer Reid + Migraines

(Chronic pain as a metaphor for emotional baggage or emotional blocks in media)

TLDR; I hate it when media uses pain (especially irl chronic pain conditions) as a metaphor for emotional trauma and allows a character to be healed once they have gotten over their trauma.

So this is a rant I've had building up for a while now, especially because I've seen quite a few people on my dashboard talking about Maeve/the Maeve storyline, and how she was introduced to the show as Spencer's doctor who magically "cured" his headaches with vitamins? Apparently (I don't remember the details because I haven't seen those episodes in so long, but yikes).

I am a chronic pain sufferer and I have been formally diagnosed with chronic migraines. Because of a medication used to treat chronic migraines, I haven't had an attack in more than three years (save for one outlier).

Migraines are an intensely serious medical problem, and it's weird to me that Spencer was clearly having migraine attacks on the show and they didn't address it as it's own medical problem? They just acted like he was having some light headaches and needed to ignore it and get over the problem or "find the root cause" - aka stop being sad and then your brain will get better???

When I was originally watching the Season 6 episodes where Spencer starts struggling with his "headaches", I have never related to something more in my life. Especially because at that point in my life, I was still have 2 or 3 migraine attacks per month, and seeing him wearing sunglasses indoors, aggressively bouncing his leg to try and distract from the pain while sitting in a hospital waiting room, rubbing his eye sockets, flinching at the light - that was and sometimes still is my life.

When the doctors determined that he didn't have epilepsy, didn't have a tumor, etc. I was like "okay, so they're gonna treat him for migraines and acknowledge that migraines are a really detrimental chronic pain condition."

But no. They just have him the whole "idk. You're not dying so the pain must be cause you're like... sad."

And I totally understand Spencer not wanting to take medication because of his past with Dualdid, but there are so many non-narcotic options for pain treatment. Especially because his character is very into science, it would have been interesting to see him exploring alternative (very traditional) medicine like acupuncture or massage, while acknowledging his past drug addiction as a problem and saying that he doesn't want to relapse.

Hell, it would have even been nice for them to acknowledge that his caffeine addiction could have been affecting his headaches and for there to be a little subplot where he was super irritable because his doctor asked him to quit coffee to see if it made his headaches go away. (Because one of the first migraine treatments is quitting caffeine, chocolate, or alcohol - common trigger foods.)

But instead, the show presented his headaches as a physical presentation of his emotional pain. Which is something incredibly common for shows to do - the other example I can think of is Weeds. But in general I fucking hate the idea that chronic pain is just an embodiment of emotional trauma, and once you get over that emotional trauma, you are "cured". (Because it was narratively implied in the show that part of the reason Maeve was able to cure his headaches is because he was in love with her, not because of the weird pills she gave him.)

For once, I would like to see a show acknowledge chronic pain as a problem that is 100% out of the control of a person, and even though it's not life threatening, it still fucking sucks. And while it might be treatable, it is incurable. Like HELLO

Don't treat it like some emotional arc that the person has to get over and not a problem that people have to realistically battle for their whole lives. I HATE the metaphor that pain is just a manifestation of negative emotions and it will go away once you acknowledge your trauma or battle those negative emotions.

I so badly wanted them to acknowledge Spencer as a chronic migraine patient and treat him as such.

But anyway. That's it

[moonlightandmarble]

Give Me The Night-Theatrical Release

When Sleep tires of Vessel and all seems lost, an even more ancient being is called to intercede...

(I haven't written anything like this in years so please be gentle and if you need something tagged please let me know. This is about the lore characters because RPF is weird and uh yeah idk pleaseenjoybye)

Vessel watched as Two scratched figures into the sand with a piece of driftwood that had washed ashore. He had been extra quiet as of late, and it had not gone unnoticed by the others. Here, in the pocket between worlds that existed outside of time and reality, it was all the more apparent. It was if he was waiting for something, and yet when questioned he replied he was fine. 

And for all other appearances he was, he was still constantly inhaling caffeine, still contributing to the Great Work, still occasionally slipping into old vernaculars from before he became the Second Vessel. They all tended to do that, all of the Vessels. They all came from different places in time, and as Sleep selected them throughout the eons they came together to make the Great Work. None would remember what they were before, but fragments of the past would reveal themselves as time went on. And lately, more of those fragments were coming forward, representing themselves in the addition of colors and cloth, flashes of individuality. And in some cases…the smallest sparks of rebellion.

  All of these things troubled him, all the more because he was seeing it in himself as well. Something was happening to all of them. And it did not help that Sleep had become more and more withdrawn from him. His Presence even in the First’s mind far less frequent. He both hated his absence and reveled in it. The loneliness could drive him to dash out onto the beach in despair, throwing himself into the waves and crying out for an answer that would never come. But the others, they were always there to pull him out, to pull him back from the brink and surround him. Their presence was less overwhelming, more gentle, and Vessel the First had grown to be so grateful for them. 

 So he found himself smiling as he watched the Second, not even realizing the Third had sat down next to him until a warm cup of tea had been placed into his hands,

“You’re doing that thing again”

  “What thing?”, he turned the teacup in his hands, watching the steam rise up and humming as he felt the heat sink into his skin.

“You’re doing some Deep Thinking. Drink your tea. You need it.”

He wanted to argue but the Third always spoke his mind, and most of the time he was insufferably right about things. So he sighed and sipped, “Thank you”

The Third crossed his long legs in front of him, leaning back on his elbows, “So no return call on the God Phone then?”

Vessel swallowed and grimaced. The tea was excellent, but the words planted a bitter pill that stuck in his throat, “No. He does not answer. Even after all the Rituals, after all we put into the Great Work-“, he stopped himself. He was being ungrateful, childish, dancing too close to heresy. He shouldn’t speak in such a way about the one who had done so much for them. Who had changed them, brought them up and remolded them from the dust they once were. 

He took another sip, “I’m sure he has his reasons”

      Three made a quiet “hmmm”, the one that Vessel knew was a noise of doubt. The one the Third used when he knew Vessel was making excuses. Before he could respond though, The Fourth had sat down on the other side of him, seemingly contemplating the waves, before nodding his head towards Two, “He’s still at it with the strange sigils again then?”

Three looked over, Two having his back to them, apparently so engrossed in what he was doing he didn’t even notice them watching him, “Every day now. I asked if he wanted anything and he said he was fine with his usual sugar water.”

Four pulled his legs up and sat his chin on them, contemplative, “What you make of it?”

Three shrugged, “Can’t force him to tell us really. But maybe the Rituals are wearing him out? We were traveling for a long time for the last one. He doesn’t seem to be in any distress at least.”

Vessel looked on, silently finishing his tea and setting it aside when he felt a familiar prickle at the back of his neck. He straightened up, getting to his feet, and looking at the sky above, “He is coming…”

They all scrambled to their feet, all except for Two, who was still busy scratching the mystery symbols into the sand with all the intensity of a university student at exam time. Before Vessel could call to him though, Sleep manifested himself before them, hovering between the ocean and the sky. 

The six eyes Sleep had given Vessel allowed him to see things that others could not. Things hidden behind the vestiges of the material world, things both beautiful and grotesque, all uncanny. But even he couldn’t fully comprehend Sleep’s appearance. Multiple eyes in multiple colors blinked and stared, vanished and reappeared against an ever changing background. Sometimes he was as a black cloud, sometimes he was a school of fish, sometimes he was a great and prehistoric sea beast, sometimes he was a wholly alien mass of tendrils and snapping squid beaks, but always with the look of detached curiosity in his many eyes as he watched them.

As Vessel knelt Sleep’s voice pressed into his mind, and he felt the examination begin. Like hundreds of tendrils poking into his brain and turning it over and over, looking for any small flaw or hidden treasure to be pulled out and dissected and studied. 

The Voice began, in a monotone made up of a thousand voices, “You guard your thoughts from me, why?”

“If I am, it is not intentional I assure you.”

“This is not the first time, my Vessel. It speaks to a pattern that I find unacceptable”, the pressure in his mind intensified, making him wince in pain. He grit his teeth but spread out his hands, an attempt to placate, “Please, I am still yours. I am still faithful.”

“And yet you Keep Secrets.”

 The probing got even worse, and he doubled over in agony, grasping at the sand as the pain blinded him with white hot light, choking out a plea, “What have I done to offend you? Please!”, he felt the hands of Three and Four on him, trying to soothe as tears began to form. He tried to shoo them away from him, his hands shaking. But they helped ease him back up, holding him steady between them.

“But you cannot hide anything from me, my servant. Your mind has been wandering, your attention strays, you seek that which is forbidden to you. The seeds of Doubt have been planted, and now that which sprouted roots in you must be removed.”

He lifted his head, staring wide eyed, “I don’t understand, what are you saying?”

“The other vessels are no longer necessary. They have served their purpose, and now they lead you astray from me. Their time has ended.”

Vessel's heart thudded, and he felt his blood go cold, “Please no…no no no no don’t take them from me please. We have done so much together for you and we aren’t finished-“

“It has been decided. Do not try my patience.”

Vessel’s mouth opened, as he silently tried to grasp for words. This was a nightmare, it couldn’t be happening, and yet he could see in Sleep’s eyes that this was his final decision, yet still he couldn’t allow this to happen.

“But have they not also served you well? Have I not served you well? I will do anything, anything just please…not this…punish me instead I beg you. I will accept it with a smile on my face. I won’t complain, I won’t bother you for answers, just…please. Not them…”

“They are distracting you. Do you not comprehend that none will love you as I do? What have I done to receive this spitefulness from you?”

White hot anger boiled up from within him. How could he? Was it not enough that he had bled and been broken over and over and over again to Sleep’s whims? Had he not sacrificed? Had he not given him EVERYTHING? When would it all be enough?

 “They’re my friends…no they are more than that, you can’t do this. Tell me to tear my own heart instead and I will! You cannot demand this of me!”

There was a moment of silence, before the ground began to rumble, the sky turning to blood and the waves to ink. The others scrambled to find each other, huddling next to the First.

Vessel had seen Sleep enraged before. And he was often on the receiving end of it, but he had not seen Wrath such as this before. Every part of him was begging him to throw himself down and plead for mercy, and yet…

He looked over at the others, and saw that as much as they shook as he did, they still stood beside him. Willing to face the punishment of an angry god while still on their feet. So he looked once again upon the face of his savior, his persecutor, and stepped forward to receive whatever would be doled out. 

“I…**I CAN’T**? You Forget your place so easily, I can do as I will. And you are ungrateful, you show no piety, you DOUBT me. I MADE you what you are now! I raised you from the dirt in which you fell pleading for an end to your mortal pain, your trifling qualms, and I raised you to be like a god compared to humanity. And you spit in my face, as a scurrilous viper!”

The Third muttered to the Fourth, “I really wish he’d just kill us and get on with it already.”

The Fourth managed a chuckle, “Whatever happens, I am glad to have met you”, he grabbed the Third’s hand, which seemed to help steady them both for what was to come. 

Before Vessel could respond, Sleep's tendrils were upon him. He knew there was no point in fighting, but he grasped and pulled at them anyways, his hands uselessly sinking into squishy boneless ropes that were as resilient as steel. They wrapped around his body, yanking him off the ground. There was none of the gentleness with which he was first lifted up, he was merely a toy in the hands of a giant angry child. 

The others tried to hold onto him, to keep him there with them, wrapping their arms around his legs and clutching onto his clothing so hard that his robe began to rip, and the Fourth called out, “We can’t, he’s too strong, Vessel will tear apart!”

“Assuming Sleep isn’t just going to do that anyways! Just keep hold of him!”, the Third had a leg and a hold on his belt. A stray thought flitted by hoping that he wouldn’t die without his pants on. He called out to them, “Just let me go, flee and save yourselves!”

It didn’t matter anyways, Sleep made a tug and effortlessly pulled him away from the others, a tendril wrapping around his throat tight like a steel band, more wrapping around his ribs with crushing strength, and with every panicked breath out they only got tighter. He couldn’t even cry out, the tendril around his throat painfully tightening around his windpipe like a noose. He tried to calm down, to remember his breath control, to keep his panic from leading more quickly to his demise. But already he was fading, his heart thudding like ii’s drums in his chest as a gray mist crept into the sides of his vision. All six eyes blinked in an effort to stay awake, but as he looked up into the blazing red eyes of Sleep he knew there would be no return.

But there was a deafening crack, like lightning striking the sea, making  his ears ring, and it echoed throughout the bleeding sky. The tendrils loosened their grip ever so slightly, and it was enough for him to turn his head back to the beach where he saw the Third and the Fourth staring at the Second.

He was at the head of the beach, glaring up at Sleep, eyes blazing with fury and a inner light Vessel had not seen before. His palms held together in front of him, as if he were in mid-clap.

A voice like thunder echoed out from nowhere, vibrating his very teeth with how it boomed throughout the bubble, “Go then back to the Void where you belong, but you will not be taking them. They are no longer yours.”

Vessel was released suddenly, and he crashed onto the beach in a heap. His body was broken, he could feel that much. Pain screamed from all of his nerves like alarm bells. He stared up at the sky, at his deity, as he withdrew and faded as suddenly as he had arrived, without so much as a whisper. The blood turned back to azure, and the ink to lapis. 

He sighed, or tried to, managing only a choked wheeze as the darkness crept in, for the last time ever. And yet he tried to keep his eyes open, hearing the others running along with the waves gently lapping.  It was too late, but they were free. And the last thing he saw were the faces of the others staring wide eyed and frightened as they tried to bring him back to them. 

He thought in his final moments, that he had heard Two’s voice, 

“Help him.”

He gasped and coughed, holding his throat as he sat up. The tendrils were gone, and he took in a deep breath, filling his lungs in relief. It was only after he took several breaths that he looked around himself, finding that he was no longer on the sand but instead on a bed of soft moss and grass. He was in a clearing surrounded by ancient trees, the crowns of which formed an almost perfect circle that let him look up into the clearest night sky he had ever seen. Stars so numerous they resembled the lights of a great city glowed in white, red, yellow, and blue, and were cast against the glowing ribbon of a galaxy. 

Truly, it was a breathtaking sight. But there was something not quite right. The stars weren’t ones he recognized.

A low smoky voice broke his immersion, “Don’t be afraid”.

He turned slowly, cautious, his tall frame slightly hunched. But he paused when he saw her, straightening up and tipping his head, all six eyes focused.

A woman. Tall. Surprisingly tall. Taller even than he. Her skin was like the deepest obsidian flecked with stars, like she was a reflection of the sky above. Horns in the shape of a lyre arched from thick, wavy hair that cascaded down her shoulders. She wore a plain black peplos, which made her skin stand out all the more. Her eyes were of amethyst, and he could see no hint of malice in them. But with his sight he could see behind her a hazy reflection of her true self, a queen of stature winged and radiating a barely restrained power that could only belong to someone on par with Sleep himself…and yet…something about her felt even older. 

He didn’t approach, but neither did he back away, standing his ground even as she started to walk around him, looking him over while he tried to study her at the same time.

“Do you speak?  Or are you perhaps too frightened to do so?”, she said with a slight curve to her lips.

He paused from trying to follow her with his head. Was she teasing him? Who, or what, was she? What did she want with him? Every part of him was tensed, awaiting an attack or some other sort of nonsense. Because what else could possibly happen? The worst possible thing had already occurred so what else could go wrong?

Fuck it, he decided, and then threw his thoughts out onto the wind,

“I am not afraid”

This was a lie.

“I speak when there is something important to say”

This was not a lie. But something Sleep had taught him. Sleep did not speak with a mouth, finding it to be more befitting of mortals while he projected his thought forms. He had no need to speak otherwise. And why should he? He had Vessel to be his Voice, the one to relay his message to the others. 

“Were the Voice. You were The Voice”, a thought at the back of his mind oh so helpfully reminded him. 

He sighed. 

She plucked at his robe, which he now realized was whole and dry again. Not even a wrinkle to be found. Indeed, it was as if everything he was wearing was new again, and he reached up to feel for his mask.

It was still there, and still as attached as ever to him. And it was then he noticed her reaching out towards it.

He flinched away from her hand, recoiling like a rattlesnake without even thinking, teeth bared and body tense as a bowstring. And almost as suddenly as it happened a wave of shame hit him, and he looked away as he swallowed down the ball of dry bitterness that had formed in his throat. 

Her voice was low and gentle, “It doesn’t come off, does it? You have tried before.”

His jaw clenched. He had tried many times in fact. And with each attempt it just seemed to become even more a part of him. The first time, it felt like it would take his skin off with it, and now, well it _was_ his skin. “It…hurts.” He covered his face with his hands. He was human, once. And that was all he knew since he had first put the mask on. But whoever he was before had been erased. He had no idea how old he was, how long Sleep had him as a servant, how many times he had died and come back and died again. Now he was…just this. An empty vessel. And he was overwhelmed with that feeling of emptiness, Sleep’s presence utterly gone from him. He crumpled down to his knees, his head touching the moss like he was a supplicant. 

She knelt down beside him, her hands clasped in her lap, “Are you in pain?”

“I failed Sleep, but worse, I failed them.”

“You sound so certain when you say that. What makes you believe you failed?”

“I should have been stronger, I should have protected them, I should have been more obedient. Then none of this would have happened.”

“But you survived, as did they.”

He thought for a moment, sitting back up again to look at her, “They’re safe?”

She nodded, “They are. And so are you”, she tipped her head again, in a way that vaguely reminded him of an owl, “Can you feel anything while it’s on?”

     “What…do you mean?”

“If you were to face the sky while it was raining, would you feel the drops fall upon you?”

He paused to think on it. When was the last time he felt anything on his face? As much as the mask had become a part of him, did he ever feel the touch of the wind or the rain? Did he feel his own tears burning a trail down his cheeks? He couldn’t remember.

“I…”

“May I?”, she put her hand out, palm upright. Her nails formed short points, but still, there was something about her that felt familiar, that felt safe. As much as his mind was shouting at him that this was all some sort of trick, he decided to take the chance. 

He stared at her, then her hand, then her again, swallowed hard, and then gave a short nod.

She reached out towards his face slowly, making a low soft noise as if she was trying to gentle a wild horse. This time he didn’t flinch or shrink back, keeping still as she gingerly touched the cheek of his mask. Her eyes met his as she began to feel along the filigree-like edge that outlined his jaw, and he gave another tiny nod. She continued to feel along it, like she was memorizing its shape with her fingertips, but she stayed slow and gentle with her movements, especially when she got to the little points that poked past his chin. She went to his forehead next, and tapped a nail on the material, receiving a dull sound in response.

She made a sad sigh, “I cannot remove it, but I can help you another way”

He went to speak but as she once again caressed a fingertip along his cheek he made a soft gasp. He could feel her hand. It was warm, the pad of her finger soft and with just the slightest trace of her nail grazing him. She smiled wide as she watched his reaction, “There you are”. His breath caught in his throat at the peek of fangs behind her lips, visions of blood in the water and the grip of teeth burying in his flesh flickering in from the past in his mind. He blinked those thoughts away, forcing himself to focus on how oddly…tender she was while touching him. The way she looked at him. Not like he was a subject to be examined and flayed open down to his core so that his every memory and thought and failing was exposed to the salt air but, like how the others looked at him. With fondness. Softness. 

“You’re not used to a gentle touch are you? I think you need more of that in your life.”

“Why?”

She gave him a sad look. Though he did not understand why.

“You don’t think you deserve that?”

“I’m…it’s not about deserving-I-just…” 

But it was. He knew it was. But overpowering the fear and despair there was a deep and aching Want.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No!”, he nearly yelled it but managed to just barely get a hold of himself, ‘…I want you to keep going, please.” He reached up a shaky hand, covering hers with his own as she cupped his cheek,  “please.”

She grinned again, her fangs almost glowing white against her dark skin. And for a moment he wondered what it would be like to feel them piercing the flesh of his neck, the blood dripping from him like rubies. He felt himself get warm at the thought, but kept quiet, watching her raise her other hand slowly to touch his other cheek. He couldn’t help it, he closed his eyes, feeling such softness soothing his nerves, the heat of her palms sinking into him bone-deep. The tenseness began to drop from his shoulders as her thumbs stroked under his eyes, and he realized when she swept away wetness that he had been crying. 

“Who are you?”, he said it as a plea, desperate to know and no longer bothering with the pretense that he really had any way to fight her off. Not that he wanted to anyways. Her touch awakened something in him, a need so great he would die, he would kill, he would do anything to have it recognized. 

She gave a soft and affectionate sort of smile as she kept petting his face, “You still don’t recognize me? Even after you had called to me so long ago…”

      “I called to you?” 

She got closer, her face mere inches from his, and sang in her smoky voice, near his ear in close to a whisper, “So give me the night, the night, the night…”. She traced a finger over his lower lip, “But even before then, I was listening. When you sought comfort in the darkness, when you looked to the sky and prayed to anyone who would listen, when you sought inspiration in the stars…I heard you.”

“But who-“

“Think a little longer, and you will know my name”

He blinked, his voice shaking as he spoke, “The Greeks called you Nyx…”

She laughed in soft delight, “And some called me Nótt, some called me Ītzpāpālōtl, some called me Nephthys and on and on and on…”

“Are you…like Sleep? You don’t feel the same.”

“Existence is vast. There are things even older than Sleep. Older than bones and mountains and even the stars themselves. No. We are not the same.” 

“But how-“, it clicked just as soon as he was about to ask. The symbols that Two etched into the sand. An ancient language even the gods had forgotten. Primordial sigils of protection that just so happened to look like messy doodles of stars and planets. Two had been calling to her, summoning her, whichever the case, he was the one who had brought her forth. And so it was her-, “You were the one on the beach, the one who sent Sleep away”

“Yes. That was me”, she sat back, taking one of his hands in hers, tracing the lines in his palm with her fingertip, “When Sleep claimed you initially, Two was there with you. But while he didn’t worry for himself, he worried for you. He made sure to keep his research hidden, but he’s very dedicated when he sets his mind to something, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

He nodded, nearly vibrating with Wanting to Know All but allowing her to continue

“And so when he first spoke to me I immediately answered. We made a plan, for Sleep has tossed aside many of his playthings, and the world is littered with those broken by him. I couldn’t stop Sleep entirely by myself, and he couldn’t either, so we made a pact. He would be my vessel. But not in the same way Sleep had you.”

“I never had any idea…”. 

Playthings. That really was how he saw them. And he was just one of many. For as much as Sleep had praised him in the beginning, building up his confidence and faith, it was all just to serve and end. An end which would have shattered him utterly. But somehow Two knew. Two had the foresight that he didn’t. 

“Nor would you. That was intentional. We couldn’t have Sleep’s favorite noticing anything strange was happening. At least not until we knew that Sleep was going to do for certain. When he stopped responding to you, we knew it was time.”

“Did the others know?”

“They suspected something was afoot, and knew more than they led on. But did they know exactly what was happening, and that I was there? No. As much as it pained Two to keep things from you all, it was necessary so that you would have a way out from all of this.”

He placed his head in his hands, “I am such an idiot…why didn’t I realize it would happen. Why did I stay? Why when all the signs were there that we were just puppets in his hands?”

She put a single fingertip under his chin, tilting his head to look up at her, “Your whole life you have wandered the desert in search of sweet rain and your prayers only returned bitter waters. In you there is much pain yes…but oh there is so much love. It’s not your fault that there are those who are drawn to your love only because they wish to use it. Who seek out those who have suffered and are so desperate for any love, any show of kindness, that they lay their traps for you”, she looked at him with soft eyes, and he felt his heart thump faster, “But you knew, deep down you knew you deserved better because you knew already that they deserved better. You just hadn’t made the connection yet. And when you did, you all stood together. In the face of wrath. It was not me that saved you in the end, you saved yourself. You saved them. And that was the key to bring me forth.”

She leaned forward, just to gently kiss his forehead, holding his face between her hands while his tears made trails down his face. He met her eyes anyways, and saw himself reflected in them, “You are not alone. And you are loved. The other vessels love you, and I have loved you for so very very long.”

A little vibration went up his back, a long distant memory. A soft whisper when he felt at his worst, like a breeze that slid over his skin. Words he could not hear but somehow…he didn’t feel quite so alone as he hunched over the keyboard. A heady scent coming from the window…

“I…don’t know what I can give you. I know only to worship…”

“Just be you, and let your love out. Show it to the others. I ask for your heart, but only when you are ready to give it willingly”, she nuzzled his cheek, and he was taken aback by how soft she felt, “I see your pain, and I will carry that burden with you if you wish, when you are ready.”

But it was with a heavy sob, one he could no longer hold back, that he pressed into her arms, clinging to her like a frightened child as all the pain and the grief over wanting so badly to be loved only to be tossed aside poured out of him. He had stuffed it away for so long, several lifetimes worth of trying so hard to mold himself to the expectations of others in the hopes of just a little kindness, and now the dam had finally broken. He heaved shuddering sobs as he crumpled, feeling her hugging his head, one of her delicate hands stroking his back as he grieved his past selves. 

As he finally caught some of his breath back, he loosened his grip slightly, sitting up slowly,

“I apologize.”

“For what?”

“I’m…not entirely sure to be honest.”

“You’re used to apologizing for everything aren’t you?”, she hummed and then booped the end of his nose, “That’s another habit we’ll have to break you out of”.

He felt the spot that she just touched, bemused, “So what happens now?”, he peered around the clearing again, “Is this your home?”

“It’s my Garden. A world between worlds like your beach”, she extended her hand, a luna moth flitting through the trees to land on her knuckles, he watched as she stroked  its wings, ever so gently, “What happens next is up to you. But Two doesn’t need me to hide within him any longer. He should be having a nice nap right now.”

Vessel let out a soft chuckle, “Were you the reason he was imbibing so much red bull?”

She made a face, “Oh no no, if anything I suggested he switch to using a French press but he refused”, she shook her head, but she was smiling, and he couldn’t help but notice that even in the low light of the clearing she seemed to have an inner glow. She took his hand, letting the moth crawl into his palm. As he watched it explore his fingers he asked, “Do you have worshipers?”

“No, at least not in the way most gods do. I do not have a need to be worshiped. My sustenance comes from those who revel and rejoice in the night. That is enough.”

The moth, seemingly satisfied with its explorations, flitted off into the darkness, “Would you want one?”

She hugged her knees to herself as she met his gaze, the corners of her mouth turned up, “Are you asking if I want one, or are you asking permission to worship me?”

He looked back to his empty hands, thinking. He couldn’t remember the last time he had much of a choice in anything. Let alone something like…this. 

She bumped her shoulder softly into him, “Or are you asking for something else?”

He swallowed, feeling the warmth radiate from her and how soft she felt just from the touches she gave him. He wanted…more, “I’m…honestly…wondering what you taste like…”

She shifted, and for a moment he had the frightened thought that he had made her angry, but instead she had turned to look at him, touching his jaw so he would look back at her, “You’re welcome to find out, taste and touch as much as you like”, she nuzzled his cheek, running a finger over his lower lip and playfully whispering, against his ear, “I promise I won’t bite you”.

The corners of his mouth twitched up, “… and what if I-want-you to bite me?”

She laughed, and the sound made his smile go wide. “And what else would you want?”, she slid behind him, sliding her arms around his neck, so she was pressed fully against him, and he found himself giving a little shiver as her breath warmed his skin, the fragrance of night blooming jasmine on her skin, “Would you make me yours?”

“Is that what you really want? You know it would be completely unlike Sleep...”

“I know, that’s why I want it”, he reached up, slowly, to touch her hand, a reassurance, “Control is not what you desire. You wish for something else from me.”

He could feel her breathing against his back, “Only your heart, freely given. Your mind, your friends, everything else is yours alone.”

“Then make me yours, and be mine?”

“Gladly~”

He woke up. The morning light was gray as it crept over the horizon. The ocean's waves calm in the background. He slowly sat up, and he felt a wave of grief wash over him. No. It couldn’t have been a dream. Could it? Another punishment by Sleep? To give him a dream so real only to take it all away at the end wasn’t beyond him. And it wouldn’t be the first time, but to make this would be beyond cruelty. No. He wanted to scream, to howl curses at the sky and the waters and at existence itself. 

 He scrambled to his feet, and sucked in a breath at the sudden ache in his neck, and as he reached up he gingerly stroked over the bite mark that formed a perfect crescent there. The one bite he wouldn’t let her heal. And he realized he could still taste her on his tongue, his back stinging slightly from when her nails raked down his skin, the fingers of her other hand twined with his in the soft moss. 

He huffed a soft laugh, closing his eyes as he turned inward, seeking out her resting place. 

“Are you still there?”, he said in a whisper, his own heartbeat and breathing the only response as he searched his own mind. No. That was wrong. She told him his thoughts would be his own did she not? So why would she take up residence there? No, no. Her throne was elsewhere. And then he felt it, just the slightest stirring, a tiny shift in movement while in a deep sleep. There. Coiled around his heart protectively, she rested quietly. He pressed his hand over his heart, but a distant shout made his eyes open again. He turned, finding Three, Four, and Two running towards him. He was about to speak when he was full on tackled by Three, falling back with a grunt and immediately barraged with questions,

“WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD FOR GOOD”

“WHERE DID YOU GO?”

“TWO HAS BEEN SLEEPING FOR HOURS”

“ARE YOU HURT YOU’RE GRIMACING”

“That’s because when you threw yourself at him he landed on a piece of driftwood you tit”, Four was laughing but mercifully helped Vessel back up into sitting position, settling into the sand next to him, “You alright then?”

“I think so”, he found the piece of broken driftwood behind him and tossed it aside, “What did I miss?”

“We thought you were dying and then you just…vanished.”

“We’ve seen you die before but, not like this”

  “And you always come back but-“, they exchanged looks and then Four gestured with his head to Two,  who had plonked himself down opposite of Vessel, a beatific glint in his eyes. “He kept saying you’d be back, before passing right out.”

Vessel huffed a laugh, “No wonder, he had been keeping a pretty heavy secret under wraps for a long time”, but he reached out and took Two’s hands in his, before kissing them like he was royalty, “Thank you. You saved all of us.”

Two shrugged, “Well I couldn’t very well lose all of you could I? Besides-“, he flung his arms around Vessel, tackling him back into the sand, causing him to make a grunt that was less substantial that the one Three had him make but still one that he knew he would be feeling later, “We have so much more to do and to see!”

The other two had the temerity to flop down on him as well, so he was fully trapped, “Am I EVER going to be allowed to get back up?”

Four rested his head against Vessel’s chest, “You’re going to have to get used to this. You’re stuck with us I’m afraid.”

Three rumbled on the other side, “Maybe in an hour or so we’ll let you up for tea. But only that. And to tell us where the hell you’ve been off to disappearing without leaving a note and all”

“You came back just in time, look, the sun is rising”, Two pointed towards the horizon, and Vessel was just only able to lift his head to look, 

“So it is…but I wonder what the night will bring.”