#apparently i am invested sorry
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Os cara bravo que o Richarlison ta ganhando atenção falando que é só pq ele fez os gols do jogo. Migo faz dois gols na copa do mundo pra vc ver se a Maria chuteira que habita em boa parte da população brasileira não ia tá babando ovo pra vc. Mano ele fez um gol de voleio na porra da copa do mundo. UM GOL DE VOLEIO CARALHO. NA COPA DO MUNDO. TU VIU AQUELE GOL????????? AQUILO QUE É GOL. E NA COPA DO MUNDO AINDA???????? RICHARLISON LADRÃO ROUBOU MEU CORAÇÃO
#a maria chuteira que habita em mim esta em pane#I'm sorry to anyone that tries to translate this lskspskskskspak#this is me talking world cup#apparently i am invested sorry#block this if you dont want to see it#anna talks world cup
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i’ve just finished season one of TMA, and being someone who’s okay with spoilers is fun because it means i can peruse the wiki and scroll through the tag and i get to become privy to all sorts of weird, wonderful, halfway-out-of-context information that i get to look forward to understanding in the future
like. what do you mean Leitner’s in the tunnels?
what do you mean Jon eats the extinguished sun??
what do you mean it’s spelled Gerard Keay???
#Jon‚ narrating a statement: '…whose passport had identified him as Gerard Keay.'#Me‚ an American‚ not yet in the habit of following along with the transcripts: 'Ah‚ yes. Jared Key.'#tma spoilers#the magnus archives#gerry keay#gerard keay#tma#i’m sorry but Why do british ppl apparently pronounce Gerard like that how do y’all audibly tell Gerard and Jared apart#anyways based on how i’ve glossed over the other two arguably much more shocking revelations i mentioned#i’m sure you can tell that i’ve latched onto Gerry and everything else is just background noise to me#okay that’s an exaggeration. i Do love the entire show and am invested in the entire cast to varying degrees but.#Gerry… my beloved… his role in Ep. 12 hooked me instantly#it’s bad‚ guys. ive already started making him a playlist. it’s safe to say there’s no hope for me. the fixation train has left the station#Gerry (and Michael) have moved in and will live rent free in my brain indefinitely#listen. you can’t just present to me a cryptic goth man with long poorly dyed black hair and mommy issues who’s covered in eye tattoos-#-and is frequently affiliated with the supernatural and then expect me to Not fall in love with him!!!#*looks at DoorKeay* …and i am also not immune to the opposites attract & human x supernatural entity tropes…#tbh looking at all this DoorKeay fan art has me suddenly remembering my EraserMic days#which is a wild thing to say i know but listen. it’s just the whole long-black-hair x long-blonde-hair similarity#and maybe a bit of the opposite personalities. idk why but i was just admiring one particular DoorKeay fanart and it suddenly hit me#i literally whispered to myself out loud ‘holy shit it’s EraserMic again…’ and it's not Really but also it kinda is and i think it's funny#but then i did More thinking and i think it goes beyond just them. i think i rlly just have a thing for Dark & Light coded character ships#Michael & Gerry… Navia & Chlorinde... Sun & Moon… Mic & Aizawa…#i think i’m learning smthn abt myself now i’ve gotta think if there’s more examples…#i'd almost say Alphonse and Seth but eeehhh not quite. and honestly i think the bigger-brain way to see their relationship through the-#-Dark x Light trope would be to take into account the resurgence of DM!Al and that kinds flips the dynamic#i think that if either of them are Moon-coded it'd be DM!Al. but they honestly just don't quite fit in that trope's box anyways#they're Pink/Black x Brown coded. not Yellow x Black#i do gotta say that i've pulled an Interesting number of songs off Seth's playlist while working on Gerry's... it's the mommy issues innit#i'd almost say PB x Marcy but once again we've got a character that's pink-coded‚ not yellow. i think they fall into a different category
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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Guys i think i fucking love danny phantom
#i just watched and rewatched the ultimate enemy#i am so invested in this show. im kinda scared to watch the rest of it#from what ive heard it gets bad at a certain point. after watching the ultimate enemy im worried it wont ever be as good again#apparently a glitch in time is good tho. so at least there's that#hopefully i can find someplace to read it once i get to that point#or maybe i could even just buy it..#anyways. sorry for flooding the tags in this one sentence post#danny phantom#phantoms live on the blog
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👍👍
#im bout to be whiny before getting nauseated at being kimda vulnerable and end up deleting this but just#shoutout to my friend (who was the only person i ever shared my writing with for over a year)#just telling me they've always just skimmed my fics AND infodumps because they dont care. like has read at most a handful of me talking &#usually skips any rare audio message that i sent when SUPER excited and made up drama to have an excuse to change topics#again. for over a year.#then getting guilt trippy when i was hurt by it until i apologize instead which !! lmao fuck ok !#its just... very hmpth :/ bc it eas already a shitty night and week of nonstop migraine. and then this#and taking into account im someone who NEVER blocks any of my friends tags or doesnt read and invest myself in their interests#even if i dont like it; i love seeing people (even strangers) excited and talking about what they like so of course im going to#at least watch them talk on it and/or actually research into it because i want to be able to understand their happiness!#and because its whats important to them !! i dont expect the same and im not shaming anyone for not doing the same its fine I guess#but to tell me? and to say they dont read my writing or give a single shit about me talking about something#when i always put 100% into their interests? am i that shitty of a writer and that obnoxious to listen to lmao#like i feel shitty for even being hurt over it and even venting because you guys arent here for that and its mean to force it on ur dash#and i dont want to be too whiny but also. jfc man#ill stay silly starting tomorrow and post about batmans balls or whatever. sorry for the vent just. bleh.#that ‘december please bro please im begging just a break please man’ post but its me throughout this February too apparently
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nobody:
not a single soul:
me, to any poor soul I may wander upon:
so-
those billionairs are either dead,
or they cannibalize each other,
possibly both?
I mean, the chances at least one of them TRIED to eat the others within the first 9.5h is PRETTY high, ya know?
I mean, the guy they'd all blame for their situation was locked in there with them.
Now, I am not saying that it turned into a bloodbath, but-
#oceangate#I am so sorry but the hatred I feel towards people who d rather spent ¼ of a million dollar to be dropped into the ocean in#what is pretty much a coffin#just less fancy and with a gaming controller#over paying 100% of thwir taxes#donating that money to charity#investing into resources for homeless people or ya know handing just a twnth of that to a family trying to figure out if they should pay the#the electricity bill or get groceries cuz god know they can't afford both#is massive.#I won't even pretend to care about them#even their familes made it very apparent that they don't
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Weirdly i haven't seen ppl being mean abt Izuku this time around. My timeline everywhere is just
Bkdk from Jp artists. Izuku sensei. Bkdk from american artists. Izuku thirst trap. Kacchan thirst trap. Bnha movie/game. Izuku sensei. Izuku sensei. Izuku sensei. Porn of random character
The little i saw abt that collab are people being sad they can't get the burger combo or smth.
godbless
#didn't get#the girl#genuinely did not see the collab i just saw a post mentioning it#honestly i did find the fast food worker izuku joke funny the like. maybe first two times. and then i started getting incredibly annoyed#like most of us i fear? we're too invested obv (which isn't necessarily a bad thing but there's a reason why we're defending a fictional gu#so strongly lol)#idk it's like the people complaining about izuku losing his quirk and stuff#(disclaimer: IN CANON. i mean i am annoyed at people who genuinely think it's a bad thing that izuku lost one for all and became a hero wit#gadgets and stuff. like tell me you didn't understand a main plot point without telling me lmao.#i obviously don't care about people who just like izuku having one for all or who make fix its because they're sad about it or whatever#im inevitably going to have fics where izuku still has his quirk because <33 he deserves it<33 but yknow.#(i am also still a bit salty that izuku didn't actually lose his arms after all the build-up towards permanent arm injuries and the#symbolism that went with it etc so im glad he lost at least ONE thing lmfao))#enormous tangent sorry#tumblr is telling me to tag this as enormous breasts enormous ass now that ive used this word wonderful#anywayyyys in general im just annoyed at the peaked in high school jokes people blatantly ignoring the Actual Story (he does become a hero?#for a cheap joke bother me and the peaked in high school thing especially bothers me because it's both rooted in the misogynist thing#and also blatantly ignoring that apparently peaking in high school means almost losing most of your friends and family and having the entir#world rely on you (you're 17) to stop like Satan from killing everyone#like girl he saw his best friend's corpse on the floor. almost all his teachers died. his mentor almost died. his friends almost died.#HE LOST HIS FUCKASS ARMS#that is not PEAKING that's traumatizing#izuku at his most powerful was fucking depressed and so self-sacrificial he looked suicidal. he was not peaking#anyways i have a lot of thoughts about one for all and izuku but this is the. tags. send ask if you want more yapping#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#mha manga spoilers
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.
#sometimes i forget that . i am not immume to my.good things corrupting me#this is embarrassing sctuslly ..getting fuckign Anxious over a venus kazimi like.#dawg calm down oh my.god . ur gonna be fine. everything.sill be fine lol#for the greater good (my mental health)#but my god ppl om the internet know how to word things that do infact trigger me#n i can never tellcif i am being sensitive or not n i so infact .#it doesnt matter n yet . im crippling in fear over this shit ONCE again. for the rexord#i have bren doing my best toclike stay off the internet . it was doing my head in#but . anyeay whatever. its fjne im having a bad day apparently#n im staying home for wtv reason like . i wanna go out but im just .#i wanna try n save this money n get my cwllo fixed .#its the one thinf on my list im desperate tovget done#bc everything else will fsll into place after that . bc ill have something else i dnjoy to do w my time#n atm i want nothing more thsn tovjust practice . fuck the sheet music in tbe othet stuff i gotta organise#im . yea sorry .#WAITT my sister got a ptinter . i can print the sheet music i have ready to go.#besides im sure if i look hard enough i can find . my folder w my ensemblr worm#i have thought abt conquistador daily btw . she was so fun tocplay ah :(#n going out also means . Not e tirely sure if ill b awake before 1pm . bc this placr closes at like 2.#so . i do have to go to bed realtively early if i wanna do this . n i do. im biting thr bullet#im impuslivd but not when itll benefit me. go figure. anyway. i have just enough. ill be Fine .#worst case . my dad has these awful tailors i can chop up#and he can also buy my grocrties this week 👩🦯#worst case . i fkgure itnout somehow. i always do but . i gotta bite the bulley on this i cannot do this anymore#i need something else to occupy my time. n this is the one thinf i knoe for sure will be worth the investment#bc if not. i can literally just Sell it for like $300 (if its worth rven That lol)#like shes a good cello but damn shes dinged up and xhipped. im not paying for that to b fixed#it adds character.
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Soft Launch : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: follow the journey of lando’s soft launch to reveal your relationship
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 1,302,382 others
landonorris: one shoulder up or two 🤔
67,505 comments
username1: anyone else notice the person who accidentally walked in midway through the stream tonight!?
username2: lando definitely had a girl over…
alex_albon: you must be desperate for content if this is what you’re posting 🙄
username3: why won’t you tell us who was round your apartment lando??
georgerussell63: how about neither of your elbows up you weird man
username4: I keep replaying it but I can’t work out anything about them…
username5: what if lando has a secret girlfriend or something
danielricciardo: you know it’s okay to look at a photo and change your mind about posting it
username6: not everyone rinsing lando in the comments 😂
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liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55 and 1,937,605 others
landonorris: life’s been pretty good recently ☀️
58,391 comments
username7: any particular reason why that might be mr lando norris
carlossainz55: care to elaborate? 🤔
landonorris: @/carlossainz55 zooming over to ferrari now to fill you in
username8: wonder if it’s pretty good because of someone??
georgerussell63: glad to see you with a smile on your face buddy 🫶🏻
username9: is he hinting that this new girl has made his life better??
maxverstappen1: I wanna know all of the gossip too 😂
username10: I’d love to be the reason for lando’s smile fyi
username11: I’m more interested to know who even took these photos
oscarpiastri: I’m fed up of this new version of you, you’re too smiley to have around the garage now
landonorris: @/oscarpiastri sorry not sorry 🙃
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liked by team_quadrant, maxfewtrell and 1,492,606 others
landonorris: apparently if you find a girl who likes quadrant, she’s definitely a keeper ✨
78,301 comments
username12: this sounds like confirmation to me that lando has a girl
team_quadrant: girls who like quadrant = girls with good taste
username13: do you reckon that’s her in the photo ☺️
danielricciardo: ik a better brand of clothes that they could wear 😂
landonorris: @/danielricciardo quadrant > enchante 🤫
username14: really hoping this new girl likes quadrant so she can stick around forever
username15: I like quadrant…does that make me your girlfriend now??
charles_leclerc: I like quadrant but you’re not willing to date me…
username16: @/charles_leclerc also not a girl you clown
oscarpiastri: if I do a photo shoot with you do I get free merch too?
pierregasly: why am I so invested in being part of lando’s comment section lmao
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 1,594,706 others
landonorris: thank you for bringing so much positivity into my life 🫶🏻🥺
89,394 comments
danielricciardo: you’re welcome honey 😇
landonorris: @/danielricciardo you wish that I was talking to you
username17: look how perfect they look together wow
username18: it’s official, he’s actually managed to get a girlfriend
georgerussell63: congrats on not being the single friend anymore 👏🏻
carlossainz55: little lando norris finally got himself a girlfriend 😂
username19: I want to be happy but I so wish that this was me
username20: the look on his face 😭 I’m so happy he’s happy
charles_leclerc: if you want some tips on how to be a good boyfriend just zoom back to ferrari again
username21: my heart is so full - cheering for these guys all the way!!
username22: constantly telling myself not to be bitter that my dreams now won’t come true
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liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc and 1,395,604 others
landonorris: race weekend with a first timer, luckily for her she picked the best team to support 🧡🏎️
89,483 comments
maxverstappen1: did she get a choice or did you force her to do this??
landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 she said she wanted to support the team with the most handsome driver 💁🏻♂️
oscarpiastri: @/landonorris she thinks I’m handsome awh
landonorris: @/oscarpiastri 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
username23: how have we not got a face reveal when she was literally at the race
username24: I never had lando down for a soft launch kinda guy
danielricciardo: did you even introduce her to all the teams on the grid, you know, let her make her on mind up??
username25: whoever she is she knows how to rock papaya
username26: omg the height difference is the sweetest
logansargeant: I remember when I used to hug you and you’d rest against my chest like that 😂
alex_albon: look at you being all cute and charming
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liked by maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 1,022,494 others
landonorris: holidaying with my favourites 🌊☀️
89,504 comments
username27: eurgh lando you’re killing us with all these almost photos
maxfewtrell: I’m the number one out of the two of us though right??
landonorris: @/maxfewtrell whatever makes you feel better sweet cheeks
username28: my heart can’t cope with this for much longer
oscarpiastri: so you holidayed with your favourites and yet I’m here at home 🤔
username29: lando replacing oscar with his girlfriend is peak
username30: lando knows what he’s doing and this is so not fair
username31: I bet he’s laughing at all of us when he looks at his comments section
alex_albon: it’s alright for some 😂
username32: lando I’m on my knees pls just tell us more about who this lucky girl is
georgerussell63: I think your fans might turn on you soon if you don’t stop playing them 😂
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
liked by oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 1,302,493 others
landonorris: another race weekend with my best human there to cheer me on 💕☺️
99,398 comments
username33: FINALLY HE GAVE US WHAT WE WANT
username34: omg she’s absolutely gorgeous lando
username35: we won at last woooooo
alex_albon: still can’t believe your girlfriend supports mclaren 😭
oscarpiastri: don’t forget who the most handsome mclaren driver is tho 😂
username36: they look so in love together 💞
username37: I want to be jealous but how can I be when they look so cute
lilymhe: we’re double dating asap btw
danielricciardo: they don’t prepare you for when the kids grow up 🤧
landonorris: @/danielricciardo sorry dad 😭
username38: my heart has officially exploded 😂
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liked by ynusername, danielricciardo and 1,948,502 others
landonorris: whoops they caught us 🥺
tagged: ynusername
138,849 comments
username39: these two are gonna be such a duo omg
username40: ah and he even tagged her 🤩🤩🤩
danielricciardo: my kids are the cutest things in the world
carlossainz55: smooooth operator 😂😂
landonorris: @/carlossainz55 high praise from you my friend 🫡
username41: thank goodness that the soft launch era is now over
username42: I’m already in love with them so much
username43: I don’t want to be yn anymore, I just want to be her best friend
charles_leclerc: congrats buddy 👏🏻👏🏻
alex_albon: stop making the rest of us feel single even though we’re also in relationships please
ynusername: ily 🥺🥺🥺
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˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 reaction#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#lando norris social media#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris au#lando norris x reader#formula 1 smau#formula 1 social media#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 smau#f1 fic
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Apparently there was some lil drama in Good Omens fandom again about people being deeply nervous and scared of the end of Season 3, and I wrote this in the replies of one of the asks that Neil Gaiman answered, but I feel like it is deserving of being crossposted into its own post (in a slightly expanded form) so folks actually see it.
cmere, good omens fandom, we're having an intervention. a Come To Jesus talk, if you will.
First of all, I'm literally begging the fandom to:
learn what personal boundaries are, especially around parasocial relationships with strangers. (Suggestion: When sending asks to authors you like, use "polite work email" etiquette, not "joking with a friend" etiquette. The latter comes off REAL weird sometimes, and sometimes outright mean/rude/bullying).
take a couple deep fucking breaths
embrace the philosophy of The Author's Intent Only HAS To Matter To The Author, It Does Not Have To Matter To YOU. If you do not like the author's intent, you can say "hmmmm no thanks" and write some fanfic. That's what it's for.
Friends, Romans, countrymen..... Stop trying to make Neil Gaiman responsible for your happiness. For one thing, that is an absolutely unfair and cruel burden to put on a stranger who doesn't know you. Neil is only responsible for Neil's happiness. You're responsible for your own happiness. In fact, do not rely on ANY external source to guarantee your happiness, not even very nice people like Neil, not even your significant other, not even your family members. Yes, those people might be able to help you with your happiness, but they cannot guarantee it. Expecting a third party to guarantee your happiness is how corporations exploit you, and it is the source of all media trauma. Take agency over your own joy! Don't give away your power! Plan to DIY your personal ideal ending!
Neil is not telepathic, Neil cannot know all your hopes and dreams and wishes, nor SHOULD he be expected to know them, nor does he have space to know them. He is busy with things like his own and Terry's hopes and dreams and wishes. Their hopes/dreams/wishes are just as valid and important as yours, aren't they? Yes, they are. So calm down. caaaaaaaallllllm dowwwwwn.
Yes, I love the show very much too, but at the end of the day it is just a story. And the great thing about stories is that you are empowered to retell them in a different way. It is not real, so if you end up unsatisfied by S3, then blithely impose your own reality and build your own joy. It's not like it's the End Of The World or anything (lil fandom joke there for you)
And look, if you read this and you're feeling Mad and Upset or Frustrated about it, that is a symptom that you are maybe feeling a little stung in your Media Trauma parts. I am sorry that other stories have let you down in the past, and I really sympathize that you are feeling scared about the fate of this story that really matters to you. You've invested a lot of love into it! I really understand the fear! You don't want to be hurt again, and that's super understandable and normal.
But bestie, literally the only way for you to find a story that's exactly perfect for you and that won't hurt you at all is for you to write it yourself. I know that sucks to hear, but it is the truth. If you keep pinning a hope of perfection on other people's stories, you will keep getting traumatized by the media you consume. Love other people's stories for what they ARE, not for the stories that you WANTED them to be -- the same way that we love people, you know? You have to let a person be their own person; you can't force them to be someone else. That's fucked up, so if you notice that you keep trying to do that, maybe go to therapy so you can be that Someone-Else person for yourself (or, if you can't afford therapy, read some self-help books from the library or find some good channels on Youtube who make content that might help with that (I really like JulienHimself)).
If you need a story to be something big and important for you, if you are seeking catharsis and healing from a story that matters to you and you're really scared that you won't get it, then open a Word document and start typing. You can do it. You're a human being, and you evolved to tell stories. Literally it's a species specialization. You got this. It's gonna be okay, because you're going to seize the means of production and MAKE it okay. Yes? Yes.
Good Omens S3 will be what it will be. It will be what Neil wants it to be and what Terry would have wanted it to be. Period. That IS actually the highest achievement and the most noble and admirable accomplishment that we can hope for. And hey, maybe what they want overlaps with what you want, and that will be wonderful! But that will be merely a happy coincidence. The only person who can TRULY center your wants is YOU. So stop trying to trap Neil into doing it, please, because he's busy and it's not his job, AND because your wants do matter and you deserve to have someone who can give your wants their 100% full attention (aka you. that's you. only you can do that. Not even your best friends in the world can do it. Not even your mom can do it, at least not if you're old enough to know how to read.)
It's gonna be okay. Really. Really, it is. No, stop typing the snarky melodramatic reply. This is not the time for jokes; I'm being serious. It's going to be okay. Neil Gaiman can only break your heart exactly as much as you allow him to do so. That's how art works. You have to consent in order to be affected by it, and you can withdraw your consent at any time. You're going to be okay. I promise. As long as you choose to claim your own agency and your own empowerment as an individual, then all will be well and all manner of things will be well.
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Heyo!!!!✨️✨️✨️
You write Hero x Villain so well and I was wondering if you'd be willing to write about a Hero that was kidnapped by the Villain, and Hero is expecting harsh treatment, but they instead wake up in a lavish bedroom, restrained to the bed of course but it's a very nice bed. It turns out Hero had been overworking themselves and Villain was worried about them and had had enough. Maybe Hero tries to argue that they haven't been overworking and Villain goes ballistic.
It was a joke.
It had to be.
The hero looked at the handcuffs (which were their own) and then back at the villain.
"You're kidding." The hero was seldom in the mood for jokes. Most of the time, they didn't understand the references their friends made or ended up explaining jokes which people - apparently - did not like. It was quite hard for them to find anything funny. A cat was funny. A sound could be funny.
But a practical joke? Not so much.
"Honestly, I wish I was. Do you know how heavy you are? I would have never dragged you up here for a joke," the villain said. They were sitting on a luxuriant chair across the room, one thigh on the other. Their foot was dangling in the air happily and they looked well rested as they drank from a coffee cup.
"What time is it?"
"It's ten in the morning." The hero smiled to themselves. "On a Monday."
"What? No. Shit. Shit. Fuck-" The hero was already late to work. They were always 30 minutes early. They couldn't be late. They started struggling against the restraints, tossed and turned, tried to pull and free themselves. But it didn't work, no matter how much forced they conjured.
In the end, their wrists were sore, nothing more.
"Relax," the villain purred. "For some strange reason - which I am not associated with - your workplace has been shut down. Water damage."
"What did you-?"
"Purely coincidental," the villain lied. They shrugged and finished their coffee, setting the cup down on the tiny table next to them. They stood up and once they were in front of the villain, they leaned over them. "You look very good in my bed, by the way."
"Am I your hostage? Is that it?" the hero asked.
"Hostage? My god, do you know how much planning and energy that requires? Too much work, really." The villain tapped the tip of the hero's nose with their index finger. "My love, do you remember when I broke your leg a while ago?"
"Still hurts like shit when I work out."
"Hm." The villain almost looked like they were sorry. "Well...that was a rather harsh method, I have to admit. But a very effective one. Until you started working again, harder this time. I didn't see that coming."
The hero stared at the villain. Initially, they had thought the villain would understand what it was like to sacrifice themselves for their beliefs. The hero was, in many forms, very dedicated to both their jobs. The one in the office and the one outside of it as a hero. No task was too much, no overtime was too long.
Of course, the hero heard the whispers about themselves, they heard how their family made fun of them for working long hours and how they judged them for never finding time to meet up. After a while, the hero had stopped getting into arguments with their parents. You wanted me to have a steady job or my work is important to me were not good enough explanations for them. So, the hero had given up on that.
But they had genuinely thought the villain would know what that felt like. To be invested, to be motivated.
"Is being determined such a crime?"
"Determination and obsession are two different things, my love," the villain said.
"What do you care anyway?" the hero hissed. They were sick of people getting into their business and telling them how to live their life. It was more than exhausting.
The villain was quiet. They studied the hero's face and eventually sat down on the edge of the bed. Their lower back was touching the hero's side.
The hero did not pull away.
"Your hand has been shaking for two weeks now," the villain said. "Do you think I am willing to fight a weak enemy? That is below me. My equal is supposed to match me in combat. Not only attractiveness."
The hero didn't say anything to that right away. They knew they had had...struggled with fighting these past few weeks. But they had not wanted it to be due to their work. It was clearly a coincidence. Some harmless infection or illness.
"Listen...I am fine. I have a good job and I have a duty to fulfill."
"When you go home after work, do you feel like you have accomplished anything?" the villain asked and the hero, despite how sure they were of themselves and their work ethic, knew that the villain was digging into a wound with dirty fingers here.
Because, no, the hero did not feel satisfied, they barely felt relieved.
"Do you feel happy?" The villain's eyes were boring into the hero's. Curious, brilliant eyes.
The villain was quite provocative but this was right out a punch to the gut.
"You are asking unfair questions."
"You don't like them because the answer hurts. You are miserable. What you are doing right now is devouring you. And once that is done, what am I left with? Another one of those broken heroes who dies in their twenties because it's all too much?"
The hero looked at them, tears burning in their eyes. It was their job. It was their chance to prove themselves.
The hero was worth something. They were useful, they were smart. They were good at work. What would be left for them if that was being taken away?
What was the hero without it, anyway?
"Right now," they said, "I dislike you very much."
"Our relationship goes beyond simple fights," the villain explained. They let their fingertips dance over the hero's throat, even let their hand cup it carefully. Goosebumps spread all over the hero's back. The villain could have choked them anytime. But they didn't. "It's a vicious cycle. You and I. We cannot escape. And that is your duty. That is your priority. The objective which demands all your attention. Stopping me is a lot of work and you need to focus on that. If I get too powerful, you know what happens. I want power. I want power over you, over the city."
"So instead of working the usual way, you want me to work because of you?" The hero was quick to blink the tears out of their eyes.
This was simply ludicrous. The villain was wrong. They were lying, manipulating.
"No. I want your attention, I want your dedication. The healthy amount." The villain leaned over them, their lips brushing the hero's ear. "I can be nastier if I want. Right now I could break any bones of yours to force you to rest."
Their fingers glided up the hero's forearm until they found the hero's hand. The villain took it.
"But I saw how much pain that caused. And how disappointing the results were. So. Last chance, my love. Tune it down. Or all of us will suffer."
They pressed a kiss to the hero's temple.
However, the villain had to kidnap the hero three more times until the hero decided to start taking care of themselves.
#obsession? in this house?#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request#kidnapped hero
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Benedict Bridgerton with wife reader. With "Oh god, it’s been such a hard day. I missed you so much.” He says as he kisses the living heck out of her and drags her to their bed and surprises her. Just do however you want. Thanks!! :))
Recharge
Not to be dramatic but you were counting the minutes until Benedict got home. He was off playing pretend Viscount, thanks to Anthony and Kate being overseas in India. You knew how much he despised it but, and he likely would never admit to anyone but you, it had given him a lot of new found appreciation for his older brother. You also despised his fill in role as family business seriously cut into the time you got to spend with your husband. It wasn't just like being away from your love, but it was also being separated from your best friend.
Today you knew would be particularly taxing for Benedict. He had to deal with some particularly slimy lords who thought they could be cunning and coax him to invest Bridgerton money in their schemes while Anthony was away. Ben had been dreading it for days.
It was well past dark out before you finally heard his carriage roll in. Mere moments after it halted he was walking through the sitting room door, a tired smile gracing his face as he saw you.
"Oh god my love, it has been such a hard day. I missed you so much," He greeted before gently bring your face towards his. Soft lips meet you own as you kissed like you hadn't seen each other in months, bodies pressed together. "I never want to be apart again," He declared when you both finally surfaced for a breath.
He took your hand in his and gently tugged you off the sofa, leading you up the stairs towards the chamber your shared.
"Ben, don't you want something for tea after such a long day?"
"Not at all my darling wife, right now I just need to be with you to recharge my energy."
Once in your rooms you both peeled off your respective clothes, and you let down your pinned hair. Joining each other in bed, Ben rested against the headboard wrapping you in his arms against his bare chest.
Once comfortable you just talked about your respective days. You happily giving opinions on the business deals or lack there of, Ben discussing exactly what you will be doing on your next free day together. It was warm and easy, and you were both so happy to be together.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
As a massive introvert I think the sweetest thing is someone saying that being around you recharges their battery. So basically Anon I'm sorry if you were leaning to something more smutty, I am apparently feeling very soft today. xx
#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#benedict x reader#benedict x you#benedict bridgerton#benedict bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton x reader#bridgerton fanfic#bridgerton fluff
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Chapter 8: this is falling in love in the cruelest way
series masterlist previous part || next part
pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader WC: 3.4k words
Warnings: period-typical gender roles, heavily going off of book canon, me stirring the pot (im sorry)(no im not), PINING!!!!!!!, anthony being very much in love with his wife
Summary: It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?
A/N: guys i'm sorry but this picture is INSANE. the THIGHS??? HELLO? i am looking respectfully.......👁️👁️
June 5, 1816 – And yesterday, much to this author’s surprise, Lord Barlow reportedly proposed to Lady Montclair! This proposal comes unexpectedly after the Duke’s promiscuity with Miss Barrington at the Bridgerton ball a few weeks ago. Given the fact that Miss Barrington has been compromised, it is incredibly shocking that Lord Arthur Barlow would do something like this in polite society. Luckily, Lady Montclair remains a single woman and swiftly rejected her former beau’s proposal. But this only begs the question: why did the Duke propose? Is Lady Montclair simply too alluring to pass up, or is something else amiss between Lord Barlow and Miss Barrington?
“Oh, thank God,” muttered Colin under his breath, his eyes quickly scanning Lady Whistledown’s column as he sat on a bench in the garden.
“What’s that you’re reading, brother?” asked Anthony, ears perking up at Colin’s scandalous language, even if it was just between brothers.
Colin felt a slight blush forming on his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was speaking out loud, having been too caught up in the news that you had finally received a proposal from Lord Barlow. It was a lovely day out, and Anthony, Benedict, and Colin were in the gardens of Number 5 Bruton Street after a round of fencing.
Of course, once Francesca had come outside holding a copy of Whistledown to read in the gazebo, Colin had stolen it out of her hands and abandoned his brothers in favor of catching up on the ton’s happenings. Though no one should have been surprised by his interest, really, given that you were the main topic of most of the gossip sheets nowadays.
“Nothing,” Colin answered quickly, trying to recover from his blunder. “It’s bizarre how invested one becomes in Whistledown while living here. Is this what every summer is like when one isn’t traveling for half the time?”
“In essence, yes,” answered Benedict, still jabbing at the air with his épée as Anthony stared at him amusedly. “What does she have to say today?”
“Lord Barlow proposed to Lady Montclair yesterday,” said Colin, a slight edge to his voice. “And he looked a sight while doing it, too, apparently.”
Benedict dropped his foil, turning around to fully face Colin with a shocked look on his face. “And what did she say?” he pressed, intrigued about the outcome of this curious development. It was practically unimaginable that the Duke had proposed to you after defiling another lady in the ton, and Benedict hadn't considered him capable.
Anthony clapped him on the back, smirking at Colin as he did so. “Well, did you not hear the man say, ‘thank God’? Obviously, she said no.”
Colin crossed his arms, immediately defensive. “It wasn’t that obvious! She could have said yes, and my ‘thank God’ could have been because she would’ve finally left me alone. Duchesses have a lot to do; I doubt she’d find the time to be irritating while attending to her duties in the country.”
Benedict and Anthony gave their brother unimpressed looks, watching amusedly as he squirmed under their gaze.
“I assure you, brother, that there was absolutely no possibility of that being the case,” said Benedict jovially, earning a snort from Anthony.
But before Benedict could laugh, too, Colin lunged at him, épée in hand as he glared playfully at his brother. Finding himself unarmed, Benedict yelped and ran toward the house, citing a very important painting to attend to before sprinting back inside.
Turning to Colin, Anthony smiled curiously. “So, it’s true, then? What Daphne said?”
“What did Daphne say?” asked Colin innocently, dreading the conversation that would follow.
“Don’t be daft. That you love Y/N.”
Colin rolled his eyes, letting out an impatient sigh. “I don’t love her; that’s ridiculous, Anthony! A mere two weeks ago, we absolutely despised each other. I hardly think I could love her now.”
But even as he said those words, Colin questioned whether he actually meant them. Could he love you? He hadn’t ever felt this way about anyone, but then again, no one had ever vexed him quite like you. Though lately, he had been finding the line between irritation and fascination to be quite blurred. So blurry, in fact, that he was having trouble seeing a line at all.
Having clearly overheard part of the conversation, Gregory ran up to his brothers, laughing hysterically as Hyacinth chased him. He stopped and let his sister catch up, smiling evilly at the older Bridgertons “Colin loves who, now?”
Hyacinth arrived a few moments later, panting heavily. “Y/N, of course,” she stated while trying to catch her breath, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“What? What do you mean? Why do say that?” pressed Colin. Why did everyone in his family seem to think that he loved you? Surely they saw the two of you bickering incessantly, right? Your feud was so famous it had even made it to Lady Whistledown’s column. Colin couldn’t understand how anyone could think he had so much affection for you.
Hyacinth raised an eyebrow at her older brother, unamused. “Colin, I am not an idiot. Though perhaps you might be,” she added brightly. And before Colin could respond, she quickly turned to her eldest brother. “Now, Anthony, could you please tell Gregory to give me back my quill?” she begged.
Gregory, scoffed, glaring at his sister. “I’d only borrowed it for a moment! And I only did so because Hyacinth hid mine! Anthony, she’s being unreasonable,” he whined.
Anthony affectionately patted them both on the head and flashed a faux sympathetic smile. “I rather think both of you are being quite the nuisance right now.”
At times, Anthony found himself slipping into the role of a father figure to his youngest siblings. It was an unspoken duty he assumed after their father's passing. Yet, it was important to occasionally remind them that he was still their brother.
Hyacinth responded with a frustrated groan, her teeth grinding audibly, thoroughly vexed with her brother. However, the sight of Gregory's smug smile reignited her fury, and she immediately charged at him. Despite being older than Hyacinth, Gregory wasn't foolish enough to underestimate her, and he took off in a panic, screaming as he tried to outpace his deceptively quick sister.
Colin shook his head in amusement as he watched the antics of his youngest siblings. “Were Daphne and I truly like that?”
“Worse,” said Anthony flatly, but he couldn’t mask the warmth and fondness interlaced in his words.
At that, Anthony began to turn back toward the house. “Well, I must be-”
“Wait!” interrupted Colin. He��wasn’t entirely sure why he had stopped his brother, other than the fact that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the possibility that he could love you. You, the person he supposedly hated. The person who certainly hated him.
But, as always, Anthony was the right person to talk to about this. He would know what to say. Though it was well known that Anthony was completely smitten with his wife, Colin remembered a time when the pair seemed to dislike each other fairly intensely.
After a few moments of charged silence, Colin met Anthony’s expectant gaze. Swallowing his pride, he spoke up. “Purely hypothetically, and simply out of curiosity, when did you fall in love with Kate?”
Anthony smiled, amused. “Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, putting a hand to his chin. “As long as it's purely out of curiosity,” he teased. “It wasn’t like I simply fell in love with her one day, Colin.”
“Yes, but if you had to pinpoint a moment?” pressed Colin, slightly exasperated. If anything, he needed to know if he had experienced that moment himself.
Anthony’s gaze softened, and he suddenly saw a lot of himself in Colin’s uncertainty and pause when it came to a woman who profusely vexed him. “I found Kate in the library the night after we played Pall Mall for the first time,” he recalled fondly. “We were at Aubrey Hall for the country party and it was raining outside quite loudly, a terrible storm. She was huddled underneath a desk because she was scared of the storm. I very quickly realized I couldn’t hate her anymore. Not properly, anyway. Not when I just wanted to sit on the floor with her and protect her from the storm, and anything else that might come her way.”
His voice had softened as he spoke about his wife, recalling the moment he truly knew there was no way out. Anthony had tried to deny it to himself after, but his protests simply held no conviction after that night.
“You never told me that,” said Colin thoughtfully, not missing the glint of emotion in his brother’s eyes as he talked about his now-wife.
“Yes, well, the real challenge was getting her to love me back,” he said, coming out of his musings. “And that didn’t happen for quite some time after that. It was rather premature of me to declare my love for this woman while I supposedly hated her and was still technically courting her sister.”
It was truly a wonder that he and Kate were married now. But when it was meant to be, it was meant to be, Anthony supposed. Something that was proving to be particularly true of you and his brother. If Colin, who had a deep-seated need to be liked by anyone and everyone, could fall in love with you, the only person who didn’t actually like him, then surely it was meant to be.
Colin, still deep in thought, chewed his lip nervously. “And how did you get her to fall in love with you?”
“We were caught in a… compromising position. She had been stung by a bee and I… Well, I’m sure you recall,” said Anthony, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy as he remembered the circumstances that allowed him to marry his wife. “It’s far easier to get a woman to love you when she’s already your wife,” he finished sympathetically.
Colin choked back a laugh. “Unfortunately, I can’t very well put Lady Montclair in a compromising position, can I?” he laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.
“But Colin, I thought this was all hypothetical,” teased Anthony, playfully punching his brother on the shoulder.
Colin cursed under his breath, rolling his eyes in annoyance as Anthony continued laughing at him. “Never mind. I’m off to find Eloise,” he muttered, patting the eldest Bridgerton on the back and leaving him free to go dote on his wife.
After speaking with Anthony, Colin had a renewed sense of purpose. He had to find out why you hated him. He was so utterly exhausted of hating you and of having this tiresome charade of fighting with each other at every available moment. At this point, he didn’t particularly care who in the ton liked him or not. Colin knew he would happily take the entire ton’s wrath for the rest of his life if it meant you loved him.
But he needed to know just how unrealistic his hopes were. Eloise would be the best–and perhaps only–person who would know.
Colin found his sister practicing needlepoint in the sitting room, focused intensely on the material in front of her. It was unclear whether she was trying to sew the fabric or her finger, given how often she was pricking herself as she attempted to thread the needle.
“El!” he called by the doorway, pausing when he saw his sister grimace after pricking herself once again. “I can return later if you’re busy.”
“No! No, please interrupt. Thank heavens,” gasped Eloise, grateful to be able to do something other than draw her blood.
Colin laughed, amused, and suddenly felt a tad sheepish. Was he truly about to ask about you? To ask about you to Eloise, who would no doubt hold this over his head for the rest of eternity? But he had to know. He had to ask, at the very least.
“I was just…I was wondering if you knew why Lady Montclair hates me,” he asked, clearing his throat awkwardly.
Eloise let out a snort. “Well, I can’t imagine she’d be hard-pressed to find a reason why, given how you treat her.”
Seeing her brother’s crestfallen face, Eloise immediately sobered. Standing up and walking toward him, she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “I thought you disliked her as well,” she said in a questioning tone.
“Of course I do,” clarified Colin quickly. “But she hated me first and I still don’t know why. I thought she might have said something to you, given how close the two of you are. Do you know at all?”
Eloise clicked her tongue in sympathy, looking at Colin with concern. Perhaps his feelings did run deeper than anyone thought, and the recent dancing and promenading were more than just Colin being his usual charming self around you. “I’m sure I have no idea, Col. But you could always just talk to her.”
Colin shook his head, smiling sadly at his sister. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? She doesn’t usually seem very eager to speak with me.”
Sure, the two of you had been getting along recently. But that had only been twice. And was that really enough to undo the weeks of hatred?
---
It was a particularly delightful Wednesday afternoon, and you found yourself feeding the ducks at Hyde Park as you watched Isabelle and Charlotte skip rocks across the pond. Though you loved Louis to bits, it was a lovely feeling to have both of your sisters home with you. There was simply something about being out in society that he could never quite understand like them, though not for lack of trying.
After lunch, you, Charlotte, and Isabelle had managed to sneak out of the house just as the post-meal discussion grew rowdy. It was not unheard of to have such lively discussions in the Montclair household, and you frequently even enjoyed them. But there were some days, like today, that you frankly just wanted to have a quiet afternoon with a baguette and about a dozen ducks. Luckily, your sisters had decided to join you, and the three of you had set off toward the park in search of a flock of birds to feed.
It seemed that the ducks had taken much more of a liking to you than to your sisters, and they had grown disinterested in the endeavor. Charlotte and Isabelle had opted to give you their remaining bread and take a stroll around the mostly empty park, and you couldn’t say that you were complaining. Coming from such a large family, it was a rare luxury to have an afternoon largely to yourself.
A while later, after most of the ducks found themselves happily full, you spotted a stumbling figure making its way toward you. As you turned to your sisters with a questioning look, you were disappointed to find them in deep conversation facing away from you, neither one of them noticing you.
As the figure neared, you realized who it was: Nigel Berbrooke. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt your stomach drop, unpleasant memories of him and his disgusting words flooding your brain. You had no desire to speak to this man, and you looked around for anyone you could speak with instead. But you had not brought a lady’s maid, and everyone else was too far to intervene.
“Lady Montclair,” said Nigel, with what looked to be an attempt at a seductive smile on his face.
You stood up from your crouching position rigidly and turned to face him. You were unable to form any words, discomfort far outweighing any other emotion you were feeling. This had to be his first time back this season after his absence, you thought. You hadn’t seen him at any events since the Danbury ball, and you rather thought you would have noticed him, looking as vile as he did now.
His nose was a tad more crooked than on the night you had met him, and the bags under his eyes were ghastly. But perhaps it was just your perception of him, knowing what you did about who he was.
“Mr. Berbrooke,” you settled for saying, nose crinkling as you caught a whiff of the pungent smell of alcohol emanating off of him.
“A promenade?” he asked roughly, reaching for your hand without permission. “It’s a lovely afternoon, it would be a shame to waste it.”
“Oh, Mr. Berbrooke, we were just about to head home,” you pointed your head toward your sisters, panicked.
Isabelle and Charlotte were far too immersed in their conversation to look like they were ready to head home, but you prayed that Nigel’s inebriated state would distract him from this.
He growled at you, clearly displeased at your rejection. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Montclair. Your dowry, as well as your other…assets, are far too good to pass up,” he slurred, very obviously staring at your chest. “It’s a shame Colin’s gotten to you first.”
You were scandalized, opening your mouth to chastise him, or to scream for help, or anything that could get you out of this situation, really, but he cut you off before you could say anything.
"I've heard Lord Barlow abandoned you, and truth be told, it's hardly shocking," he taunted, his voice laced with disdain as he regarded you with a sneer. "You insist on playing the coy maiden, denying every man what he craves. It's the only reason they’re after you now, you see? They want what you didn't give Arthur. And it appears Colin has taken the lead in the chase, the lucky bastard."
His words brought you crashing back down to reality. Of course, he was colluding with Colin. You had conveniently overlooked that fact as you found yourself becoming bashful in his presence, feeling secure, even desiring his company after these recent days. A surge of bile rose in your throat.
You felt tears prickling in your eyes, and you were impossibly angry with yourself for forgetting the very reason you despised Colin Bridgerton. How could you have let yourself forget? He was still the same man you overheard at the Danbury ball, and you were too embarrassed to admit that his charm had worked on you.
You were disgusted with Nigel and Colin, but also with yourself. You were more than this, you chided. How could you have let this happen? The two men were clearly no good, and you had unwittingly allowed yourself to be ensnared, much like you had with Lord Barlow.
“Excuse me,” you said roughly, dodging Mr. Berbrooke’s outstretched hand as you ran toward where Isabelle and Charlotte were standing, propriety be damned.
“On va chez nous. Tout de suite,” you said to them urgently, practically begging as you tugged on Isabelle’s hand (We’re going home. Right now).
Charlotte looked at you, confused, and then noticed you glancing nervously at Nigel as he approached, angrily staggering over to you as his face contorted into an ugly scowl.
“Ah, I’m terribly sorry Mr. Berbrooke,” Isabelle said firmly, “but it seems we have to go.”
Not waiting for a response, your sisters hooked their arms in yours and hurriedly walked back from where you came. They’d be damned if he let anything else happen to you after what happened with Lord Barlow, and they were not about to waste any time.
Nigel only grunted, displeased, but let the three of you go without protest. Both of your sisters’ husbands were very powerful men, and Nigel was not so deluded as to forget his place in society.
“Y/N?” Charlotte questioned softly once you were sufficiently far away enough.
But you were too embarrassed, tears streaming down your face as you choked back sobs. How could you have let yourself fall for Colin’s charm? You knew exactly who he was, and you had ignored it anyway. It didn’t matter that he made you feel safe and that the two of you had more in common than you cared to admit. He would never respect you, and you could never love him.
Nigel had come at just the right time, you thought sullenly. Right as you were thinking you could finally overlook your rivalry with Colin, right as the memory of why you disliked him in the first place was fading. And thank heavens he did. You would not be taken for a fool again, by Colin or by Lord Barlow or by anyone.
—
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Domestically, Painfully, Loving.
Pairing: Renjun x Female Reader wc: 2.5k+
Summary: You and Renjun have been roommates for the past two years and apparently the roommate dynamic you thought you had was not very roommate-y
Genre: suggestive, fluff, he and MC are painfully domestic.
Warnings: suggestive at the end/mentions of sex (like I literally just say sex a lot)
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It was for sure one of those mornings. You didn’t wake up to any of your alarms, your windows were drawn, and your bed was too warm to get out of. The thought of skipping the 9 am you had was now in bright bold letters in the forefront of your brain and honestly seemed like the move.
Then all of a sudden I hear this grating voice…. Just kidding it’s just Renjun. You hear him shuffling around in the hallways outside dangerously close to your door. You both had sworn to not lock your doors if it was a regular night because He had claimed it was a safety hazard.
You heard the door knob jingle, and then devastatingly open to Him in all his glory. He was fully dressed minus shoes and had the annoyed look he usually carries when you piss him off.
“It is almost 8:00 and if you don’t get up you’re going to miss your class,” He said sternly as he invited himself into your room and went to your closet
“I think I might just take the L on this one and miss it” you yawned and rolled over turning your back to him.
“No, and please don’t ever say “take the L” in front of me ever again,” Renjun said as he dug through your closet.
“Sorry, Your Highness” your voice strained as you slumped over in bed attempting to get up.
“I put clothes on your chair, I’m giving you 20 minutes and then we are leaving,” He said as he grabbed your wrists pulling you the rest of the way out of bed. Leaving you to your own devices after.
Renjun and you had lived together for 2 years now and this was the dynamic. Renjun helped you keep your shit together, and simultaneously you helped him not lose his. A perfect balance.
On your desk chair was a white sweatshirt and matching white sweatpants. One of the sets you had invested in after Renjun had introduced you to the world of “nice sweats” and on top of the sweat suit was a black sports bra from your dresser. There weren’t a lot of boundaries between you at this point, to be honest.
After changing you trudged into the bathroom where he was standing finishing his hair. Nudging him with your hip to move you slid in closer to the outlet of your hair. Renjun grabbed your hair into a ponytail and pulled it off your neck.
“I think you should wear your hair in a claw clip, it shows off your neck” You blinked at both of your reflections in the mirror with zero energy to fight him, nodding in agreement. Renjun then grabs the brush from the side brushing your hair out, and then twisting it into the claw clip.
“Alright there you go,” Renjun said patting your hip, moving you out of his way to finish his hair.
“I already ordered coffee so we gotta go soon, go put your shoes on, and do the Jordan's not the Converse,” Renjun ordered you around as he blow-dried his hair.
Finishing the multiple tasks he gave you, you were now standing at the door waiting for him to come escort you to the kitchen like a goddamn kindergartener to school. Now joining you in the entryway putting his shoes on. He was wearing a pair of loose-fit jeans and a white button-up on top of a T-shirt.
This contrast between you two is crazy.
You two both lived a very domestic life. When you had moved in together you strikingly got along really well. Renjun had slowly but surely worked himself to be at the forefront of important people in your life. He was just a very considerate person in his way and it showed with those he cared about….which you just happened to be!
Does he dress you up like a little doll sometimes.. yes! And like who doesn’t like that shit, domesticity in a household is like crack to weak-minded, and hey bitch.. I am the weak-minded.
Getting to campus you departed from Renjun and walked towards the lecture. Finding your spot in the auditorium and going to your friends who have saved it for you.
“Good morning darling, look who showed up today” Giselle nudged your shoulder laughing,
“And look! Her boyfriend got her coffee, god bless the lovely couple” Karina traced her finger along the big RENJUN written on the side of your coffee cup.
“Oh shut up, he’s not my boyfriend. He just buys the coffee in the morning” You shrugged taking a sip. Putting your coffee down meeting eyes with your two best friends silently staring at you with their eyebrows knit.
“What do you mean he isn’t your boyfriend” Giselle asked voice flat
“Renjun is not my boyfriend… we just live together,” You said again confused as to why you were being questioned.
“Y/n are you kidding….?” Karina spoke up over Giselle’s shoulder sharing the same confused look “I watched you two hold hands the other day while walking home, like clasp your fucking fingers and hold hands” Gisele gripped Karina’s hand to demonstrate.
“Yeah because I was tired and need to keep up with him while we were walking he’s fast for a little guy” you explain trying to mediate whatever the fuck was now happening
“Oh, you poor poor girl” Karina now pushing herself fully into the conversation “y/n people do not act like that with people who they aren’t dating plus you two live together… you do know that everyone thinks you two are dating right?”
You felt your hole clench at that statement. Hole clench, toe curl, and heart drop. “What do you mean people think we are dating..?” Your voice sounded more pathetic than you wanted it to be.
“Y/n you two are probably two of the most domestic people I know, I watched you and Renjun hug for a solid two minutes yesterday and then he fixed your hair after. Who the fuck does that. Other than two people who are having painfully loving sex?” She asked.
You two weren’t having painfully loving sex! Neither of you were having sex! You would know, the walls are thin.
“But we aren’t having painfully loving sex” you pouted still confused
“And that’s fucked up for you, and your vagina!” Karina rubbed your shoulder.
“Be honest with yourself Y/n would you have painfully loving sex with Renjun if you had the chance?” Giselle asked
And just like that, your world fucking crashed in. Because you WOULD! You would have painfully loving earth-shattering war of worlds universe colliding sex with Renjun! Your body was in a sense of shock and you felt your eyes stuck open wide at the sudden realization you would bone your roommate and would maybe like to be in a grossly domestic relationship with him.
“I think we broke her” Karina waved her hand in front of your face and snapped.
“I think I have a crush on Renjun” you whispered in disbelief.
“Substantial realizations here before 9 am ladies and gentlemen” Giselle clapped as if your now mental breakdown was an achievement.
“I think I need to go home right now and I think I need to go rethink everything that has happened to me for the past two years,” You said in a frantic whisper as you packed the rest of your things and left the lecture hall 5 minutes before class was supposed to start. Ignoring what Karina and Giselle were saying trying to get you to pause your mental breakdown and sit back down for geology
Fuck geology I'm having a crisis!
Speed walking out of the lecture hall it still felt like you had a cold bucket of water dumped on you, and then someone pushed you down a flight of stairs too. How had you not realized you had a crush on him? You two did almost everything together, you did almost everything together!!!!
Turning the corner and stopping dead in your tracks making eye contact with the devil himself, renjun. His eyes widened at first meeting yours, and then brows furrowed in confusion. You had two choices right now; run away OR admit defeat and face him. Running away seemed like the best option but you would have to face him later that night at the apartment and currently with the realization you were going through, you didn’t want to have to face him to explain why you ran away.
The familiar pair of brows excused himself from his friends and walked up to you with a look of concern painting his features.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in science right now? Where are you going” he asked, the worry evident in his voice. Making your stomach twist into knots.
“I uh.. don’t feel great so I think I’m just going to raincheck on classes today” you spoke not making eye contact with him once. Your eyes thought immediately shooting to meet his as he rested his hand on your forehead, and then slowly moved it to cup your cheek.
“You do feel a bit warm” his voice was still laced with concern. Your face was warm, but that was due to the fact you were screaming on the inside from your roommate caressing your face to see if you were sick. “I don’t have a lecture for another 30 minutes but I can miss it I’ll take you home!” Renjun said and reached to grab your wrist to drag you towards his car.
your wrist was tingling from the contact, and the thought of mind-blowing sex was now on the forefront of your conscious “NO *cough* no! I am fine, I’m going to take the bus and probably stop for some…tea! On the way home”
You don’t drink tea.
His hand released your wrist and he scanned your face skeptically. “You don’t drink tea though”
fUCK!
“Well, I just figured a good time to start! Being sick and all! *cough cough* wow! Okay well, I’m gonna go I will see you later!” Your sentence slowly lost control towards the end, you turned around and booked it to the bus stop, not even turning to see if he said bye or was still looking.
It had been 2 years of you two living together, how did you just realize now? And people already thought you two were dating? Does everyone think we fucked?
Does he think we are dating??
Does Renjun think we are dating?
You two do regular roommate stuff, He literally dressed you this morning and did your hair… HE DRESSED YOU AND DID YOUR HAIR. Oh holy fuck oh god oh what the fuck
Were you two dating? We we dating???
As soon as you got home from the bus you paced the living room for a good 45 minutes trying to rethink the last two years and what may have been perceived as you two dating, and so far there was a lot.
Renjun and you frequently hold hands, you both purposely created school schedules that ended and started around the same time each other, and you have both met each other’s families. The list fucking continues.
To be quite honest you weren’t sure what the reality was at all now. Renjun’s class ended at 12 and it was 12:15 so he would be home any minute.
The lock clicked and you watched as the door opened to Renjun, Walking in and smiling at you.
“How are you feeling? You ran away before I asked you anything else” He asked as he took his shoes off, but continued to hold eye contact, returning to that same look he had earlier when you had sold the idea of you being sick.
Ripping the bandaid off you said it
“Are we dating?” The question sounded like a scream in the quiet apartment.
Renjun paused and stood back up
“If that is what you wanna call it..?” He said shrugging
What do you mean ‘if that is what you wanna call it’
“Wait.. so you thought we were dating?” Your body began to tense at the prospect of you not being aware of your relationship status for the past two years
Renjun looked away like he was thinking and tilted his head “Well no… But I don’t act the way I act with you with anyone else, I just figured we weren’t putting a label on anything” He said walking closer to you and sitting on the couch in front of you “You haven’t seen anyone, and haven’t expressed that interest in doing so and neither have I and to be very fair quite literally everyone thinks we are dating” he laughed at his last part of his sentence as you were melting into a small puddle in the middle of your living room.
“Oh” was the only word able to make it out of your mouth as your state of shock had taken over your entire body.
“I mean we already live together, it would honestly be quite convenient for us to be dating” Renjun added seemingly unaware of the turmoil you were still in.
“But Karina said that we look like a couple who has painfully loving sex, and we aren’t having painfully loving sex though! We haven’t even kissed!” Did you whine at your roommate-boyfriends? Non-chalantness about the topic.
“Well, we can. It doesn’t define a relationship, but if painfully loving sex is what you want then we can make it happen” His voice garnered a new lilt to it as soon as the prospect of coochie became a distant goal
‘Hold on PLEASE I’m so lost” You threw your arms up in surrender now confused as to what you had gotten yourself into. “So you are actually into me?” You questioned
“Yes, very” well damn.
“Oh okay, well yeah me too” you responded
“Sick,” He said as he began to take his shirt off.
“WOAH” the screech leaving your mouth before you could catch it
“Painfully loving sex remember?” He said as he moved across the living room to grab you by the waist. “Would you be interested in some painfully loving sex, and for me to be your boyfriend officially?” His thumbs rubbed circles into your hips as he asked.
Now your coochie was for sure in the mix, as much as you wanted to scream and claw at him like a feral animal, you kept it in.
“That would be very nice yes! And yes I would love that” you decided to say instead.
His hands traveled from where they sat on your hips and landed under your thighs, picking you up and your legs clasping around his waist. And your hands made it to both sides of his his face bringing his lips to yours.
It felt like two years of sharing beds and dangerously domestic actions all culminating in this sloppy kiss. His teeth teased your bottom lip and took it with him gently when he pulled away and then released. Your chest heaving from the lack of air, and your face red from the situation you were in
“My room or yours.”
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Hello! here is the entry for Renjun, It's not one of my favorites but I liked the plot! lmk who you want next!
#nct#nctdream#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct drabbles#nct suggestive#nct au#nct dream fanfic#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct dream drabbles#nct dream suggestive#renjun#renjun imagines#renjun fanfic#huang renjun#renjun drabble#renjun drabbles#renjun scenarioes#renjun suggestive
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terms of service [m.reader]
what do you mean it’s been a whole week since i said i’d post this? pretty sure today is still tonight. anyway, this is based on this godly ask! this is… extra long. i’m sorry i got carried away 😭 it’s honestly going to be a lot longer if i didn’t cut out some scenarios. jadiksodc.
𖦹 nsfw, top reader, virgin haitham i literally have no idea what else to say.
“Have you ever even gotten laid?”
Alhaitham’s eyes stopped at the last sentence of another book he’s buried his nose into. The night was quiet — save for the sounds of the burning embers from the campfire as well as the snores of one tiny fairy that laid beside you. The nights are cold in the desert, but it sure was enough to keep him awake. He’s been searching for ways to solve the problem with the suspicious Grand Sage, and you were kind enough to help.
You were revered across all lands apparently — even reaching the isolated Inazuma before the vast Sumeru in the first place. And while Alhaitham has every confidence in his own knowledge and meticulously calculated strategies in solving problems, he wasn’t one to take away credit from you, who protected him and fended off any other Eremites that tried to cut off his plan.
He found you reserved, keeping to yourself while the tiny floating chatterbox spoke for you like she was your advisor. You did find yourself talking to him at times, but most of it was either your agreements in his plans, your little snide remarks when he did something that both you and your flying companion considered as remotely pretentious. And quite frankly, he did not want to expend any form of effort to defend himself. If that’s how he came across to you, then so be it.
However, even with the limited time that he’s known you, he never pegged you for someone this… sheer.
In fact, he never expected it so much that he even did his own version of a double take, looking up at you with eyes that brimmed with curiosity and slight surprise. And yet, there you were, casually polishing your sword so diligently, tongue sticking out in determination with your brows furrowed in concentration.
Like you never asked him such a… question.
The scribe had half a mind to ignore your sudden query — chalk it up into a auditory hallucination and continue on with his reading. But his mind knew better; that if he left it at that, he would be perturbed until the end of his days, and Alhaitham is a practical man, meaning he’d rather get the trouble you suddenly placed on him out of the way than go through such feelings.
“Pardon?”
“Hm?”
Alhaitham narrowed his eyes, were you now planning to pretend like you never asked the question in the first place? He cleared his throat, “You said something. And I think I misheard. Care to repeat?”
Your gaze met his before blinking, “Oh. I was just asking if you’ve even ever gotten laid in the first place,” you laughed while you turned back to your well-groomed sword, continuing to polish it with refined movements. “Sorry, it’s an out of the line question, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” he curtly replied, but even he could not extinguish the sudden curiosity that rose from him. “Though why even ask me that question seeing that you’re fully aware the invasive nature of it in the first place? What spurred this on?”
“Hm? Oh, nothing much, really. It’s just that you’re good looking but you seem to be the type to not… invest your time in those activities.” Alhaitham wonders where all that cutthroat honesty goes every time you go radio silent within the last few days, barely letting out a peep to talk to anyone while Paimon did the talking for you.
Alhaitham scoffed nonetheless. It was such a shallow reason for you to ask that. Surely pure aesthetics is not a prerequisite to have sex. “Is it a requirement to engage in such activities if I am pleasing to look at?”
Your lips turned up in a cheeky smile as you tore your eyes away from your blade, looking up at the stoic scribe with a mischievous mirth glinting through your eyes, “Well. You eat with your eyes too, right?”
A laugh escapes from your system when Alhaitham instantly made a face. He’s not stupid (far from it really, and the entire Akademiya knows) — he knows the preconceived notions to these play of words. He reeled back at the innuendo, partly taken aback. Just what on earth have you been thinking despite your persistent silence to come up with something as crude as that?
He composed himself, eyes averting from yours and looking back down to resume his reading; but his mind was far from the focus he always maintained when occupied with books.
Alhaitham chewed on his bottom lip discreetly before giving an answer he deemed relatively satisfactory, “…I have no interest for such things. And don’t things like these need to have prior connection in the first place? I’d rather not have attachments to someone. It’s far too bothersome.”
“Oh so that’s why,” you hummed, this time your attention fixated in refining your sword handle. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to experience new things. And I can even help you. No strings attached.” You offered in a light jest, followed by a chuckle after.
It was a joke offer, of course. You of all people knew that when Alhaitham didn’t want something, he will steer clear from it. However, you only found him remotely interesting because he was so bloody shady in the first place. He was supposed to be an honorable scribe, being held at such a high position, and yet he was dubious enough to even make you buy forbidden cans of knowledges, and even with the partnership you’ve got going on now, you’d find yourself unable to sleep so freely without so much as expecting him to suddenly jump on you.
You simply found him interesting. And true to your love language (that your little traveling companion is often the recipient of), you couldn’t help but tease him, a little prying at something as intimate and private as his sex life (which you now knew to be nonexistent). Just a little jest to mess with him for your entertainment. That’s all.
However Alhaitham had much different perception to your lighthearted teasing. You… were offering him something so intimate as sex with no strings attached. While anyone with a right mind could quickly brush it off as a mere joke with no promises — Alhaitham was quick to entertain the thought of doing it with you without having to suffer the consequences of being in a relationship with someone.
No strings attached, huh. He pursed his lips, eyebrows knitting a little as he mulled over what seems to be an option (though there never was as it was only a joke from your end).
The thought enticed him. Of course, he was doing this for academic purposes and to satisfy the now insatiable curiosity that you placed upon him like an irreversible curse with one specific cure.
He stole a glance from where you sat as he recalled the many times you’ve managed to smooth talk your way into certain situations back in Port Ormos. Exuding confidence and sharp wit, along with a charming face that no one can say no to — also with your… beliefs earlier, Alhaitham was quick to deduce that you are a man whose had plenty of experience in sex. You were most definitely the kind to frolic around with anyone that suits your fancy, especially with how easily you offered to help him like it’s a simple favor from a colleague and nothing more.
The silence that engulfed your group (again, subtracting the snores from Paimon) soon broke when Alhaitham decided to go head in for the kill.
“Okay.”
“What?”
There was a sense of satisfaction that flooded his system when you looked up with a confused look on your pretty face.
Alhaitham cooly brushed off the flustering feeling that slowly nestled into the pits of his stomach, his stomach knotting in anticipation at the thought of taking you up on your generous little offer, “I agree to what you’re offering,” he refused to look at you, continuing to read the words that were barely coherent in his mind now, trying to look as composed as possible. “Just to satisfy certain questions from this sort of activity of course.”
You tilted your head at him, cocking an eyebrow, “Right… so you want to have sex?”
He coughed, “For research purposes.”
“If I had a mora for every time I heard that excuse, I wouldn’t worry about Paimon’s endless appetite by now,” you laughed. “But knowing you, you’re probably telling the truth.”
You were met with a silence from the scribe. Make no mistake however, he was stewing in absolute embarrassment — only glad that his headphones were able to cover up his ears that are sure to be burning up a bright red hue.
“…Are we doing it now?”
He sucked in a sharp breath, “Absolutely not. We have a mission, traveler. And doing such a thing outside… is sure to provide a less than stellar experience.”
You huffed out a laugh before stabbing your blade on the ground, “Man, you really are a virgin. And you have no idea how many freaks are out there that can do it outside even in the midst of a thunderstorm.” It was an exaggeration, but the look of mortification that was plastered on Alhaitham’s usually unfazed face was all the more entertaining. “Anyway, if you’re really serious, then who am I to back out? We’ll finish up this mission quick and then you can ring me up any time.”
Alhaitham could only give a strained nod before finally finding the words on his pocketbook a little more understandable as his mind cleared.
The last grueling days was nothing short of eventful, to say the least. You were somehow able to pull off in fighting an all too big of a god’s body with the vengeful puppet inside. You freed Nahida too, kicked Azar off of his position and destroyed the beloved Akasha that the people of Sumeru found themselves completely dependent on. It was like a blur, with you constantly on the run to ensure that every plan works in your favor, though you weren’t one to take away from Cyno and the rest — with their dutiful cooperation.
And now, you were hailed as a hero in Sumeru much like your past adventures in the last three nations, awarded as Buer’s first Sage added in the roster of your many, many titles. You were celebrated around and all you’ve ever wanted was to go inside your beloved teapot and sleep.
And that you did.
The next days were spent in leisure around Sumeru, getting along with anyone in the vicinity, often offered goods for gratitude. Paimon accepted every single food and you soon found yourself in need to build another display bedside table to decorate with trinkets you’ve received. It was relatively normal for you at least.
And the same could be said for Alhaitham. He can finally do his job with little to no inconvenience now that Azar and his corrupted lackeys aren’t around, banished off to the forests to do whatever is needed to compensate for their misgivings. The boring but doable work on a high pay returned and Alhaitham was at peace.
Up until Lesser Lord Kusanali came to his office, and with the tiny pitter patter of her feet against the cold floors of Akademiya, she walked to his desk with an expectant smile plastered on her adorable face.
Suddenly, Alhaitham was the Acting Grand Sage.
Great. More work for a considerably smaller increase in pay. How… productive and worth it.
And perhaps, that’s how you landed yourself in the confines of Alhaitham’s home in the dead of the night — at his request. His roommate was off and a few days prior after suddenly getting dragged into assisting him in catching another unhinged research with far too much talent yet little intent in seeing the bigger picture, he had asked you to come meet him at night. And he made it very clear to you that you come alone.
You were already aware of the Acting Grand Sage’s insinuation at this point. You’ve been through enough worlds and mingled with enough people to know the universal sign that is “come here alone tonight”.
Well, either you get laid, or… you will be laid in a coffin the next day.
Now here you sat, smiling a little as you sipped some water, watching Alhaitham dry off the droplets of water from his hair after a late night shower. You opted to look over some files strewn across the table to entertain yourself, trying to make sense of any of his work. Judging from the complicated nature of said paperwork, you figured he was already raring for some release. Or at the very least, a change of pace in learning something new other than the onslaught of mad researchers from Akademiya causing trouble for him to fix.
“I have some terms,” Alhaitham suddenly voiced out, pulling you out of your trance as you looked at him inquisitively. You nodded, letting him go on. “Nobody gets to hear a word of what will transpire tonight.”
“…I don’t think I even want anyone to know in the first place.”
He nodded before walking back to some shelves, “Also,” he grabbed a book and tossed it on the table, perfectly sliding towards you with the cover face up. “I’ve done some reading just to know what to expect.”
You huffed out a breath, disguising a genuinely amused laughter. Couldn’t your one night stand get any cuter? He wasn’t even trying too. He was so earnest and so serious, it was hard not to devour him right then and there. You placed your glass of water down the table sauntering up to him, grabbing the lecherous book that he apparently used to come into the battle prepared.
Alhaitham’s eyes widened as you wasted no time in closing the gap. His ears effectively reddening in a split second when he could feel your crotch rub up against his from the sheer proximity that you and the scribe had. There was even barely any room to breathe in the first place. His lips quivered a little as he looked to the side, avoiding your piercing gaze.
You tapped the corner of the book’s spine on his lips, while yours turned up in a sly grin, “Cast aside any expectation that this book have taught you, smart guy. I believe there is merit in learning from experience.” You tossed the book back as your lips latched onto the skin of his neck. You took a deep breath, inhaling the pleasant scent of his body wash. You could feel and hear him shiver from just that action alone, spurring you on to be bolder.
Of course Alhaitham knows that experience is a far better teacher than anything else. But how could he learn anything when the experience itself is detrimental to his sanity as he tried to comprehend your ministrations, from the way your hands were quick to attach themselves onto his narrow waist, your lips slowly mapping and conquering every inch of the skin of his neck, abused with bites that left bruises darker than the decorative rugs in his home.
You pulled away and he was left completely red, you leaned back to admire the work you’ve done on his neck and his collarbone, adorned with splotches of red from the abuse of your mouth.
But before Alhaitham could even recover, you went back in, but this time with your lips on his, “Try to keep up, smart guy. Here’s a crash course on how to kiss someone.”
Alhaitham could barely breathe, but even in the sweet suffocation, he tried to keep up with your lips. You made a mess out of him, your mischievous tongue dragging from the inside of his mouth to his lips to wet them. His jaw hurt and he was out of sorts, with drool dripping down to his chin while you sucked on his tongue, your hands under around his chin to keep him in place. He could only grab onto your shoulders, fingers squeezing against your flesh so tight while he closed his eyes shut, his chest heaving from the breathlessness when you refused to let up on him.
It was already dizzying — he knew you were aggressive on the battlefield, but had he known that you would be like this too, a little warning would’ve been nice.
And before he knew it, still with your lips latched onto his, he started to respond to your advances. Miraculously even with his clouded mind with that lusty haze, he was able to learn from your little techniques, kissing back with need and urgency, and you gladly welcomed him, letting him bite your lip as a test, return the favor as he sloppily sucked your tongue off with the charm of an inexperienced kisser.
It was a mess as you and him stumbled over to the his bedroom, with poor Alhaitham barely noticing until his back landed on the soft mattress of his bed. His eyes were glossed over, clearly in a daze as you pulled away, chuckling at the sight of the infamous stoic scribe who normally looks so put together come undone and become a complete mess with just a simple make out session.
You swiped a thumb over his wet lips, dragging it across his cheek and watched in delight when he slowly gained a bit of clarity.
“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet, ‘Haitham.”
Alhaitham only scoffed, “You kiss so aggressively. A warning would’ve sufficed.”
“Aw c’mon. It’s just a little warmup,” you tugged into the hem of his shirt and he quickly got the hint, helping you take them off. You only watched in fascination as his body came into view. That tight shirt that he always wore doesn’t do his body justice. He was sculpted so perfectly that even you had to pause for a second to take in his beauty.
The scribe wasn’t fond of your ogling however, “…What?”
“Nothing… it’s just…” you couldn’t even resist the way your hands immediately gravitated towards his chest, palms flat against his pecs before steadily moving them to yours, comparing your sizes. “…Wow. You’re bigger than I am.”
“Do I get a trophy for that then?” Alhaitham quipped without missing a beat.
Unfortunately for him, you were quick-witted, cruel, and knew how to show someone a good time. And you gladly indulged his little jest as you bent down, cupping a hand around one chest, thumbing at his hardening nipple while you gave soft kitten licks on his other swollen bud. An electric feeling jolts through Alhaitham’s system and he could feel himself twitch against the restricting fabric of his pants.
You smirked against his skin, teeth grazing his sensitive nipple, making him jolt and grab onto the back of your head. You raised yourself, watching unabashed while Alhaitham tried to cover up his reddening face. Either this situation was embarrassing enough on it’s own or perhaps he was embarrassed that he liked what you did.
“D-Don’t… look at me like that,” came Alhaitham’s weak protest, voice shaking as he tried to avert his gaze.
“Getting all shy now?” You tilted your head, looking at him with so much amusement. You did not have an ounce of regret for offering jokingly in the first place. To see the hardheaded scribe fold like a shy maiden was something you never knew you needed. “Come now, Alhaitham, it’s not something to be ashamed about. Focus up, buddy. You said this is for research.”
“Quit… i— ah~! Quit it—!” He moaned in between hisses as you shifted your position, with one knee pressing up against his erection with much pressure. It was as if the soft spoken yet courageous hero revered across the lands suddenly disappeared — replaced by this mischievous teasing deviant that toyed with him so shamelessly.
“You make it so easy to tease you,” your hands slowly dragged themselves to the waistband of his pants, tugging at the band and snapping it against his skin. “Is this why our scribe— oh, sorry, our Grand Sage has to keep that no nonsense facade? So they won’t know that you’re just an adorable little boy?”
He clutched onto your wrists that threatened to free his cock from its constraint, “It’s Acting Grand Sage… and it’s not a facade— are you always this chatty when having sex with someone?”
“I’m just trying to get to know you,” you flashed him a grin and his grip on you slowly loosened, a wordless green light to finally see all of him. You obliged his little permission, tugging down his pants and stripping them off of him with little effort. Alhaitham made a subconscious effort of trying to shield himself from your prying eyes — never had he felt this vulnerable before, he could feel his entire body heat up just from the way you looked at him.
Meanwhile you were admiring every groove and curve that sculpted itself into this man’s body. You would most definitely be the envy of the entire Sumeru City had they known that you were the first man to have ever seen Alhaitham this way. Suddenly, the Acting Grand Sage’s term of not wanting anyone else to know about this engagement seemed so tempting to break.
You positioned yourself in between his legs, keeping them apart when Alhaitham so much as tried to close his legs on instinct, you cupped a hand around the base of his cock and relished in the tiny little yelp that left Alhaitham’s mouth, his back arching up in surprise.
“Already so hard, you truly are enjoying this,” you taunt, as if you weren’t feeling the same uncomfortable feeling in your tightening pants. With one hand, you dug into the pocket of your trousers, bringing out a packet of slime condensate and tearing it open, squeezing a handful on your fingers. “I think you know what this is for.”
Alhaitham only nodded, suddenly meek as the insinuation made its presence known. He read a lot for the sake of satiating the gnawing anticipation within him the moment he agreed with your little offer. Alhaitham, after all, never did nurture the bad habit of coming into a situation completely clueless and in the dark. But there was something far more dizzying at the feeling of your touches that could make him feverish, overtaking his senses like a fever dream that he could feel the whole way.
He shivered as your fingers pressed against his rim, drenched in cold lubrication. He lifted his hips out of instinct, his body slowly being compliant to your actions, readily following your bold lead. You took note of his actions, watching the way his chest heaved up in a frantic pace, clearly overwhelmed in anticipation.
“Try to relax,” you ought to soothe his anxieties. Sex isn’t something to be afraid of, after all. It’s meant to be enjoyed by the parties involved. He only nodded, a little strained but it was enough.
An uncharacteristic wail leaves Alhaitham’s mouth as you plunged two fingers inside him. He was warm, his walls already clenching around your digits that were barely even halfway inside. He shifted, hips wriggling at the discomfort. You distracted him from the sensation and slowly worked your other hand around his erection, pumping at a gentle pace.
Alhaitham felt breathless, the haze in his mind continuing to muddle any form of coherent thought that he tried to make. He whimpered quietly as the embarrassment slowly flooded in. He could barely gather himself as you’re jerking him off while fucking him with your fingers, any sense of awareness leaving him bit by bit, replaced with the unencumbered lust that you were holding over him with your ministrations.
“Feels good?” Your words barely registered in his usually sharp mind. He nodded frantically, hands clutching the sheets underneath him. It felt all too good, with your precise hands, from the way you prod around his gummy walls to how you teasingly thumb at the slit of his cockhead, it was an overwhelming pleasure that Alhaitham was suddenly being exposed to.
You weren’t any better. Who knew Alhaitham could look so erotic, his body almost close into going in an autopilot as he responded to your touch with little to no shame. The whimpers and cries that echoed in the room were music to your ears, a blessing to indulge yourself in.
It was hard to hold yourself back from just fucking him into oblivion, and your sentiments wee shared as another cry left Alhaitham.
“M-More~” he whined, completely insatiable as he yearned for something bigger. Your fingers weren’t enough. He needs to feel full, something that could stretch him out until he could barely think. He opened his eyes, bleary with lust and carnal need in comparison to yours that were gleaming with concentration and hunger. “M-More please~” he parroted, unable to find any more words to beg you.
You could feel any form of restraint leaving you as his pleading reached you, already shooting straight down to your dick that twitched in anticipation and raw excitement. You immediately pulled your fingers away, shivering at the moan that you drew out of the man underneath you. Your hands quickly worked to free your own cock, hard and throbbing as it slapped against your stomach. There was a sense of satisfaction that washed over you at the way Alhaitham’s eyes grew wide when he saw you, like a cold water drenching him and pulling him back down to reality.
“Is… that even going to fit?” Alhaitham’s sudden reluctance was all the more endearing, making you laugh.
“I prepared you, didn’t I? But hey, the confidence solely lies on you. If you think you can’t handle it, best we quit ahead.”
He swallowed a lump down his throat before looking at you with a much more determined gaze, “I— N-No… I need to see it through.”
“You can hold my hand if you want,” you offered, lending out your own hand. Normally, Alhaitham would swat it away but did otherwise as he held yours, feeling feverish all of a sudden at the intimacy.
He could feel himself shrink as you positioned yourself in between his legs, towering over him with a reassuring smile. His thighs quivered around you while you lined yourself up in his entrance. He shuddered as your cockhead slowly rubbed up against his entrance, making him writhe in anticipation. Alhaitham met your gaze, suddenly considerate in contrast to your teasing self earlier.
“Don’t think too much of it,” you reassured him one last time. “Just ride out everything that you’re feeling.” You said and he nodded, soaking up every word of yours as he took a deep breath.
Alhaitham jolts at the sudden intrusive feeling once you ease yourself inside him inch by inch. He was quick to clench around your cock and you stopped, heaving a shaky sigh as the feeling of his warm walls around you bring you complete and utter bliss.
“Fuck… so tight, ‘Haitham,” you breathed out, a pleased hiss from your lips with every pulsating clench his walls made around your cock.
The scribe could barely process the feeling as he slowly took you in, his hole squeezing your length while you continued to push inside until you’re buried to the hilt. His hand squeezed around yours tightly as he tried to take in your words earlier and ride out any form of sensation that racked through his body. He could already feel the numbing pleasure rake in his system as the overwhelming sensation continued to eat away at his sensibilities.
You stilled yourself as you watched every expression Alhaitham’s pretty face contorted into. You only swept away his fringe away from his forehead that’s already dotted with beads of sweat and continued to observe him. You’ve never been this considerate when it comes to fucking someone, but given the fact that Alhaitham was just far too adorable, you made a conscious effort to be more gentle in his first time.
It didn’t take long before Alhaitham slowly rolled his hips, in terrible need for some more friction, “Y-You can move…” he stammered, still with his hand clutching onto yours so tightly.
You grinned a little before drawing your hips back and giving a testing thrust, pushing out a choked moan from the scribe, to which you greedily indulged in. Leaning in, you only gave a quick kiss on the shell of his ear before whispering;
“Don’t fall in love now.”
Alhaitham merely scoffed at your little taunt.
As if he would.
Miscalculations are rare in Alhaitham’s lifetime. Often times he’s mapped out every single action to consider to ensure a smooth sailing plan that he has to execute. Failure was a rare occurrence in the scribe— sorry, the Acting Grand Sage’s roster. He has yet to achieve a failure so spectacular that it puts his roommate to shame.
However, the way his eyes lingered on your form while you went about your day while you extended your stay in Sumeru was quick to tell him that the very idea of a miscalculation may not be so far-fetched in the first place.
And he absolutely loathed it.
It had been days since his… little research that you aided him in. Days since he felt the wonderful bliss of the mind numbing pleasure that only left his mind completely broken and incoherent. Days since he could feel the way your hands roamed around with such preciseness that every touch you left on him left him completely breathless. It had been days.
So then why? Why does he feel the same exhilaration whenever you were in the vicinity?
Why could he not push the thoughts of that night in the back of his mind? It was a skill he mastered that procured his unbothered persona. But the memories persisted like a parasite, latching onto his poor mind as it replayed the same night over and over again;
“H-Hah~! T-Too much already—!” Poor Alhaitham slurred, words barely able to convey while he held onto your hand for dear life, his eyes rolling at the back of his head while you pounded into him without an ounce of mercy. The bed creaked so violently under your movements, and his body shook in overstimulation.
“Just a little more, baby boy, one more, yeah?” You licked your lips hungrily, a predatory gaze flashing through your eyes as you devoured your prey.
Alhaitham winced as he slowly arched his back, suddenly feeling restless in his usual seat outside of Puspa café. Of all places, why couldn’t you have decided to chat with the nearby vendors. Where he can hear you and bury his mind into a delusion of bliss after hearing those sinful sounds from you when you bedded him that night. It was torture.
It was like a siren’s call, beckoning for him to give into his temptation. Except it was an excruciating thing to experience, drowning in that voice of yours that he could no longer hear normally.
“Oh! Isn’t that Alhaitham there?” He had to hide another grimace as the familiar shrill voice of your traveling companion echoed.
“So it is, let’s go say hi,” you smiled while you walked over to him, inviting yourself in without an ounce of embarrassment, like you didn’t make a mess out of him that particular night. “Been awhile.”
He could only stiffly nod before turning back to his book, “Mhm.”
“Yeesh! You’re just as cold as always! Hmph! Well, whatever. Paimon is going to get some food for herself.”
And just like that, there was silence in both of your company.
“Hey, you look really tense,” you frowned in concern and Alhaitham only continued to read into his book with an absent concentration that only served him to read the first lines of the paragraph over and over again. “I didn’t scare you now, did I?”
Alhaitham shuddered as the feeling of your touch slowly took over when your hands grazed by his shoulder in an attempt to console him. And the hauntingly addicting touches of yours continued to resurface in his mind.
A wanton squeal escapes Alhaitham as your fingers dug deep into the skin of his waist. He had little to no escape with the way you held him, hands completely sinking into his supple flesh to keep him in place. There was a rush of excitement that flooded Alhaitham’s system when you took hold of him in such a manner — possessive and almost desperate.
His already spent dick twitched at the notion, the very idea of you being all over him and wanting no one else but him. He wanted you to feel the same feeling that slowly poisoned his thoughts — that you would enjoy him just as much as he was enjoying you being so deep inside him.
He panted, short huffs leaving his wet lips that you vigorously licked, kissed, and bit until the both of you could taste his blood. He was a mess, from the marks on his collar down to the way even your fingertips made their bruising mark when you manhandled him.
Suddenly those touches burned through his skin, like you left them there just seconds ago. He was slowly feeling feverish. He could still remember which parts of him you touched, the way the uncomfortable feeling of your grip pressing against his soft skin was enough to get him on a state of frenzy.
You were far too intoxicating.
And without even an ounce of warning, he was suddenly met with your skeptic expression, clear as a day as you drew yourself nearer to his side, with your face a mere inch away from his. He could feel your even breathing, and could see those heavenly eyes of yours that peered through your thick lashes as you continued to put him on the spot with your own form of scrutiny.
“Tell me the truth, I didn’t scare you away from what happened nights ago, did I?”
He resisted the urge to swallow thickly — you may not be as smart as he is, but you were perceptive, already proven by the mere fact that you were quick to guess that his strange actions towards you did indeed stem from that amorous engagement you and him explored. Unable to focus on your minuscule concern, his gaze drifted down to your lips that formed into a frown, with your bottom lip jutting out a little in a very subtle pout.
Those lips. That mouth that often spoke of every proclamation and promise to aid whoever was in need of help, no matter how annoyingly minuscule the requests are.
His ears burned under his noise-cancelling headphones, finding himself completely unable to shut out the loud thrumming of his heart against his chest.
Who would’ve thought that mouth of yours were just as capable of delving into something incredibly lewd — that mouth that spoke valor suddenly speaking in the most flustering taunts that drove him over the edge.
Sobs spilled out from Alhaitham’s quivering lips, tears already flooding his ducts while you rutted into him like a dog in heat. The desperation in your thrusts were pushing up against his nearing release as your cock continued to abuse his prostate.
The overwhelming pleasure didn’t help as you busied yourself on his chest. You couldn’t leave it alone, your mouth already latching onto one of his sensitive and perky buds. Your tongue swirled against his swollen nipple and tore out another loud moan from the scribe. He was helpless against your ministrations. He could feel his stomach stir despite the fact that he was so sure he couldn’t cum anymore.
His hand shakily raked through the back of your head, biting his lip to keep himself composed.
You swiped your tongue against his nipple, looking up at him with a devious smirk, “Are you sure nothing’s coming out of these?”
“‘M… not a woman—” he protests in a weak voice, raspy from all the screams you drew out of him from coaxing orgasm after orgasm from him. “S-Stop saying that…”
“Getting embarrassed again?” You grinned, drawing your hips before snapping back into him, making him whine from the raw pleasure. “Aren’t you just the cutest~”
He isn’t. He’s far from such a description. Alhaitham knows that well. He was the intimidating figure of Akademiya, with his unbothered stoicism that could leave anyone scampering without the intention of screwing him over in the first place. But he hates how you’ve rendered him completely useless with just your words and subtle touches that quickly disarmed his guard that he put up several times already.
He loathes the mere fact that he couldn’t get you out of his head. Surely not all people that go through one night stands invoke such feelings of warm fondness towards someone they aren’t meant to be attached to. He’s not supposed to feel flustered just at the mere sight of you. He’s not supposed to feel vulnerable with your smiles. And he’s not supposed to feel the tempting submission with every touch you left on his body.
Alhaitham was quick to push your face away before running a hand through his own with a begrudging sigh, “…I am currently undergoing through a crisis. Please let me acquire some space for a good few minutes.”
He hates your dichotomy — from your ridiculously odious attitude when you fucked him, to your sudden gentleness when you were done and even the subsequent days after that.
You nodded in understanding (something he’d grown to fondly hate as well) with a patient smile, “Of course. How ‘bout I go get us some baklava? My treat.”
Your offer was oddly reminiscent of your aftercare too.
“Hope you can forgive the roughness. It’s your first time too,” he paid no heed to your apology. In fact, you’ve nothing to apologize for when you’ve granted him such a good fuck for his first time. He only relished in the feeling of your ghostly kisses against the bruises you made on him. “I’ll go get you some water. Need anything else?”
He was already dozing off by then.
He waved you off, more than eager to get you out of the way as the realizations slowly linked themselves in his constantly running mind.
Alhaitham dragged a hand over his face, repressing the urge to groan when he remembered your little taunt before this all happened.
“Don’t fall in love now.”
And damn it did he fall hard.
#i am an idiot#but a simp#anyway#i am very late#but heeeeyyyy better late than never 😭#genshin impact x male reader#alhaitham x male reader#sub genshin impact#sub alhaitham#jhuzen’s stupid one shots#jhuzen’s shameless filth#there’s an hsr post i’m posting minutes after this#tall 2d husbands go brrrr in my gay little head
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for the first time ever since i joined the fandom, i genuinely feel like dropping the show.
i mean not really i'm still invested. but that reunion scene... holy fucking shit
and no, it's not about "TG\TB", the show has been really obvious that rhaenyra is the hero and the greens are the villains. i didn't expect this season to be different. i still love the greens' characters lol
but that scene might be the worst thing i've ever seen in got. season 8 included. complete character assassination for both alicent and rhaenyra.
rhaenyra wants to go to alicent to 1. prevent war 2. reassure herself that her father really never changed his mind. luke and jaehaerys's brutal murders are being swept under the rug in favor of the "men bad girls good" narrative. and i'm sorry, as much as i am TG, even if viserys changed his mind, rhaenyra would still be right to claim that she's her father's heir. it doesn't matter if he told alicent something before he died, she's his declared heir. he named her in front of the entire kingdom. like i get that this might bother her that her dad might've changed his mind, but risk her life and go to KL? are you fr? and what if viserys changed his mind? would rhaenyra have just given up her claim and bend the knee to aegon?
it. doesn't. matter. rhaenyra trying to convince alicent that "there's been a mistake" makes her look so fucking stupid. like girl are you fr?? alicent and otto have both made it very clear that they want aegon to be king for years. what did she expect? for alicent and the greens to be like "oh, my bad girlie! here's the throne! fuck luke and jaehaerys let's just move on"
and alicent.... omg... instead of her taking the throne for her own ambition & to protect her sons (like s1 ep6 established) apparently her only motivation is to do what her shit husband wanted. she was only trying to follow viserys's last wish but oopsie the bad men want war now so there's nothing she can do about it. who cares if daemon sent assassins to murder her grandchild and traumatize her daughter?
#anti hotd#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#hotd spoilers#bad writing#burnout
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