#anyways i haven’t seen this as much on tumblr than say tiktok but i still see it

[skuffypaw]

please stop drawing chubby cats like this

ok, you can draw chubby cats like this, but not all the time and especially not for fat cats

tumblr isn’t letting me post more than 1 image at a time so i’ll reblog this with the ways i personally draw chubby cats

[therosielord]

Honestly? I think tumblr is the best social media we have right now.

I was on tumblr a TON as a teenager. Then after the crackdown on smut and the subsequent crumbling of the website I ended up migrating to Instagram, Twitter, and later tiktok. And now, years later I’m crawling back to this hellsite because I’ve come to the conclusion that everywhere else is worse.

Here are some things I think makes tumblr better than the other major social media sites:

The chronological timeline. Oh my god, the chronological timeline. Something we once took for granted as a normal part of social media is being erased from most other platforms. I don’t want to be shown the most popular posts or which ones make the algorithm happiest! I want to see the posts from the people I follow in the order they were posted, goddamnit!

Your dash actually shows you ALL THE POSTS from ALL THE PEOPLE YOU FOLLOW. This is also getting harder to find! There are people I follow on Instagram and tiktok whose posts I haven’t seen in months, even though they’ve been posting, because even my “following” tab is still dictated by a fucking algorithm that decides what I get to see! Fuck you!!!

The length of text posts. I honestly love getting to actually read peoples full, articulate thoughts on here. This isn’t exclusive to tumblr (tiktok let’s people post videos up to 10 minutes now) but it’s still nice!

The tags don’t work great, but they work SO MUCH BETTER than on places like tiktok and Instagram.

There’s no weird algorithm censorship. Tiktok is obviously the most infamous about certain buzzwords or topics getting videos tanked in the algorithm but this shit is on Instagram too. Meta has literally admitted to hiding “political” content (whatever the fuck that means.) Twitter has its own fucking problems (you can’t say the word “cis” anymore because Elon is insane.) Anyway hey guys check this out: DEATH KILL FUCK SEX CUNT ASS MURDER SUICIDE CISGENDER. wow I can say offensive or violent words (and cisgender) and NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS. Love it.

Anyway, this site still has tons of problems and will probably always be a hellsite, but it’s like… an organic kind of hellsite? Which to me will always be preferable to the shiny corporate tech dystopias the other apps have become.

The fact that tumblr is my primary social media is proof that I’m far gone

[lacrimosathedark]

I have made some DC posts that people actually show interest in (and most of them seem to like with...one exception) but I know a not insubstantial portion of DC fandom watches the Young Justice cartoon, and I don’t. I have no intention to change that in the near future. But because I Have A Problem and constantly feel the need to explain myself for things, I’m going to do that.

Before that, DISCLAIMER: I am NOT saying the show is inherently bad, nor do I think anyone is dumb or wrong for liking it or even preferring it to the comics. It’s just not MY thing.

If you are sensitive to people not liking things you enjoy, seriously, don’t read this. I’m not attacking anyone, this is all my personal opinion and preferences.

So!

Reasons I Don’t Watch Young Justice

1. I suck at watching things.

Honestly my biggest reason. I was that kid in school that everyone was like “you haven’t seen [supposedly culturally iconic or currently popular movie]?! Seriously!?! That’s insane! You HAVE to!”

AND THEN I DIDN’T

A big part of that is my brain is Dumb. I have Inattentive-Type ADHD. This means my brain is very bad at focusing, especially on things I’m not like, super fixated on (and even then, I often overwhelm myself). So I’m not good at sitting down and watching things, even when I AM interest.

People have been telling me to watch and/or read Lord of the Rings for pretty much ever. GUESS WHAT I’VE NEVER SEEN

I loved Supernatural, as shitty as it could be. I haven’t watched every episode in any season past season 6.

I have had lists of anime and video games I want to watch. Still haven’t.

I’ve been recommended books (and I’m generally better at reading than watching) that sound awesome that I STILL have not picked up.

I have been intending to watch Moon Knight, which I actually really want to watch. Guess what I haven’t done.

2. My brain seems to like comic books more.

I didn’t get to have comic books as a kid just because it wasn’t a big thing where I lived so my exposure was limited. However, there’s a crossover exposure that my brain liked.

I grew up loving anime, and read a lot of manga. I also grew up playing Spider-Man video games. And then, I also grew up watching the old Teen Titans cartoon.

All these kind of combine into a certain predisposition towards consuming media in a certain way.

3. It doesn’t mesh with my comic experience.

I, like I presume a good chunk of other tumblr users, got into comics because of ThePandaRedd from TikTok. He is just so fucking funny and it drew me in. And if you don’t know, a lot of his content is Bat family related. So, that’s what I was drawn to. Growing up with the Teen Titans show, I was also lowkey predisposed to an interest in Robin anyway.

I quickly learned all I could about all of Batman’s many kids (because wtf my guy). To do that, I started watching comic videos on youtube, reading wikis, finding comic book pages on tumblr. I eventually grew to love all of them.

But I learned about and almost immediately fell in love with Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Cassandra Cain.

Why does this matter to my point? Well...

4. That’s not Young Justice.

The show is called Young Justice, but like...that’s not Young Justice. That’s basically the Teen Titans.

I have seen clips of the first episode. I don’t remember all of it, but three characters I distinctly remember being present for the formation of that Young Justice was Dick Grayson, Wally West, and Roy Harper. In comics, they were never Young Justice. Those three specifically founded the Teen Titans with Garth and Donna Troy. Like???

Young Justice in the comics is formed by Tim Drake, Superboy (later named Kon-El and Conner Kent), and Bart Allen. Not long after they add Greta Hayes and Cassie Sandsmark and on and on but like, those three boys are at the center. So much so that them, along with Cassie Sandsmark, are known as the Core Four among the fandom. And they are all intimately close friends and those relationships actually mean a lot to me.

Just a glance at the wiki makes me just...my skin is crawling. Kon joins the team with Dick, long before Tim is on the team. Ugh.

Kon dates Miss Martian, which...I don’t know much about the Martians and Kon is a flirt but like...the other characters he’s usually closer with--ugh.

Tim dates Cassie??? Without the influence of losing Conner??? And also idk does he date Stephanie? Because Tim and Steph are like, a big thing and tbh the only more intimate relationship Tim has is with Conner effin Kent, and I know Steph is in the show. (Also for a show that has a bunch of queer stuff, why does my duck boy not have a boyfriend of any kind? I know Bernard is super recent but he’s been like queercoded forever so like where is it?)

Speaking of that relationship, where is it? Even in a platonic sense, because Kon is consistently borderline obsessed with being Tim’s friend. Tim is probably the most important person to him; throughout especially the Teen Titans run Kon relied on Tim for emotional support and put a lot of faith in him. Tim literally lost his goddamn mind when Conner died. Like, he tried to bring Steph back with a Lazarus Pit. Okay, kinda fucked, but it’s happened. But when Kon died, Tim changed his costume to match Kon’s colors, tried to clone him, and “dated” his ex-girlfriend (who had, at the time, literally joined a cult who had hoped to bring Conner back). Um??? And then when Kon came back, Kon’s support made a huge difference in Tim’s shitty mental health. And the second time they met after Kon came back, Tim threw himself at Kon to hug him. And Conner refused to accept anyone but Tim (Damian specifically, but also Steph) as Robin. To him, Tim will always be Robin (and he will always be Tim’s clone boy <3). These two are a pair, platonic or otherwise, and that they aren’t so close in this show is upsetting to me.

Bart at least doesn’t appear before Tim does but he’s still seemingly not close to the rest of the “Core Four” and that just makes me so incredibly sad. I mean, points for making him not straight I guess but like...those friendships are really important to him. Like, Kon has historically been almost like his mom-friend, making sure he’s taken care of even when Bart is doing everything to avoid his issues (not that Conner’s much better at that, but yknow). The newer Young Justice comics, Conner totally mom’s Bart. He full names him (”Bartholomew Allen the Second! Don’t run away from me!” literally all that’s missing is his middle name and a scolding “young man”), and grabs some of his favorite snacks for when he wakes up after he passes out. And he also immediately called Tim because from the beginning there’s been the joke of the co-parenting Bart. And another point to Conner relying on Tim and just UGH.

And y’know, if they’re just gonna do Teen Titans, where are Vic and Raven and Kory? Like, I’m glad they had lesser known Titans like Karen Beecher and Mal Duncan but like...idk. I personally grew up with them, and if you’re gonna have Beast Boy, I feel like Cyborg and Raven kinda come with that package. And Starfire comes with the Raven package. Just my personal feelings there.

Small note since I mentioned my other beloved Bats: I know very little about what’s happening with them, but Cass is Cassandra Wu-San and Jason seems to still be brain-dead. Like, pre-Lazarus Pit brain-dead. Like I just...don’t know.

5. Artemis unreasonably pisses me off.

Prefacing this with, she’s not necessarily a bad character (I honestly can’t judge that with what little I know). This is honestly mostly because my brain is dumb.

First of all, it takes my brain several jumps to figure out who someone’s talking about when they talk about her.

“Y’know, Artemis.”

“You mean Artemis Grace of Bana-Mighdall, badass redhead Amazon, archer and ax-wielder,  and Jason Todd’s bestie/former girlfriend?”

“No, the blonde archer, in Young Justice.”

“...You mean Cissie King-Jones, Arrowette?”

“No, from the show.”

“...Oh.”

And then she’s paired up with Wally West apparently. Which unnecessarily gets under my skin.

Look, the only person I can see Wally with other than his wife Linda is Dick Grayson, and that is really because he seems just as obsessively protective about both of them. I cannot imagine Wally without either of them, and tbh the idea of him not have Jai and Irey makes me so fucking sad. Man would do literally anything for his children. I know he’s dated other girls before Linda, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

In that same vein...

6. Zatanna

I know she’s implied to have...been with Dick Grayson in the show. In general, who can blame her, it’s Dick Grayson.

However, in the show, she’s around Dick’s age.

In the comics, she was childhood friends with Bruce Wayne. Those two are best friends. They sort of almost dated for a while. I may be wrong, but I think Z may even be a little older than Bruce.

And that just really freaks me out, okay? It puts me off. My brain doesn’t want to compute that her age is different than it is in the comics.

(Also I’m a fan off her on-off relationship with the lovable chaotic fuckboy that is John Constantine.)

7. What the FUCK is going on with Roy Harper? Also Cheshire and Lian.

Like, there’s like, three different versions of him or something? And the “real” Roy isn’t even Lian’s father? Like, this is things I’ve just learned from vague clips and they make me irrationally frustrated.

As for Cheshire, I know she’s played to be sympathetic in the show, to at least some extent. Which isn’t a problem.

But I don’t like her.

She did, at one point, truly love Roy. She genuinely loves her daughter probably more than anything in the world. She is, arguably, the best mother she could be given the circumstances.

That being said, this is a woman who loves what she does. She revels in her job as an assassin. She enjoys the taunting, the fighting, the killing. She finds amusement in seeing people fall to her poisons. And as much as she loves her daughter, she would not give up being an assassin to raise her.

Jade Nguyen is an awful person in my eyes and that cartoon won’t change that.

I’m also not invested in that Lian.

Every clip I’ve seen of cartoon Lian looks nothing like any version of Lian I know and love. Like, the closest is Kingdom Come Red Hood with her long red hair, but her hair was distinctly curly and she looked like Jade, according to little Lian. Then there’s little Lian, black haired, clearly Asian girl, being raised with numerous superheroes and knowing Navajo traditions, sweet and clever and brilliant and whose favorite color is red. And then there’s Shoes, who while many don’t like her mostly due to her amnesia, I do. Blue hair and usually blue lipstick, seemingly temporary (or at least inconsistent) tattoos on her neck and arms, one of Catwoman’s Alleytown Strays and upcoming vigilante Cheshire Cat. Clearly clever, already a hacker, wears a red baseball hat (like Roy!) and fishnets (like Dinah!) and all around a ‘fuck you’ attitude while still being a sweetheart, very much like Selina.

The overall white-looking brown-haired girl in pink I keep seeing doesn’t click as Lian to me. That’s not the girl I adore. And as of late, Lian has been really important to me.

I don’t know if that’s even everything, but I felt I had to get it out of my system. Particularly about Artemis. I really don’t know why that makes me so upset but I don’t like it. At All.

Sorry, my content, aside from maybe a jokey reblog, will never be about the Young Justice cartoon. I don’t intend to bash it, but I’m not gonna watch it, and comment much on it either. If that’s content you want, you won’t find it here.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Just to say a few things about the aks someone send about being "deletable/relatable" and about lesbian culture: lesbian culture was created by lesbians that believe eberything avout ou socirty to be men made and meb centric (heteropatriarchy). Then, the lesbians, who lived among women only created their own spaces to survive, live and enjoy themselves. Their commom interestes was nothing more than to relate to each other, all of them had their own individuliaty, but they live in an collectiveness and they knew it. (and ofc almosy every lesbian were a part of feminists groups, either the women's liberation movement, black womeb liberation movement etc etc)

I myself agree with you and the person that send the ask in the way i dont see myself in whatever the lesbian community is at right now, the trends etc. Tiktok is so so bar i think, and theres this huge gap when you are not from the US, since everything from there we as exposed too. But yeah, theres a lesbian vanguard for us available, I like your tumblr so much bc its exactly it, somehow you make the lesbian voices from the past alive here, i adore you for it. And the fact you search for this type of material is already not isolating bc so many lesbian like me come here for this especificlly. Lesbian culture still exists, its harder now bc of social media I believe and the state that the world is right now and ofc we somewhat lost the collective feeling of a community :( which makes everything even more isolating for us....

But anyways, just toughts you can even not answer it if you dont want to!

Thank you so much for contributing this to the conversation!! I really appreciate it! I don’t know if I have a lot to add though because you pretty much covered everything!

And you are so right. Circumstances have fully changed how what the lesbian community is. It’s funny though you saying that reminded me of that one comic strip by Alison Bechdel (I think it was from Dykes To Watch Out For) where one of the characters was talking about how when she showed up the lgbt scene wasn’t what it once was and how she missed out - yet many people nowadays would say the same thing about that time period. I think it’s so easy to wish for things to be what they once were, especially if you yourself (not necessarily you, just people in general aha ) haven’t lived through it. Humans seem to have a track record of romanticising the past. Especially when they feel out of place in the present.

Also that is such a beautiful and kind thing to say about my tumblr 🥺 I could cry. I really appreciate you taking the time to say that. I’m so happy and grateful I’ve been able to cultivate a small place in this corner of the internet for people to feel seen and happy in their identities and personhood. It means a lot to me and I promise to try my best to keep it up!!

Thank you again so much for popping in and saying such lovely things. I hope you have a great and beautiful day 💖💕🌻

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[hotchley]

HI HOMIE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OFF TUMBLR BUT I HAVE A QUICK QUESTION:

(THIS IS URGENT I'M SORRY FOR ALL CAPS I LOVE YOU SUMAYYAH) it would be great if you could answer them within the next 12 hours BUT IF NOT IT'S FINE TOO no pressure!!! (my presentation is tomorrow morning and my group has decided to change examples last minute SOOOOO)

it's for a school research presentation assignment on the effects of mass media on science — basically, i have to find out about how mass media (e.g. social media platforms, traditional news outlets, etc) has affected the area of science? kinda.

and i was wondering if you could share some insights with me as to how the situation is like on your end (WAIT did i remember wrongly you're in the UK..... or did i hallucinate you saying it once)

(but even if you're not from the UK, please i would love to hear your experience!!!) questions to be answered:

- how is the situation in the UK (or wherever you're from) like?

- are misinformation/rumours regarding covid/the vaccines rampant in the UK (or your country)?

- have you personally come across any of such instances/messages/posts online?

- how have they affected you/your family/your neighborhood/your society? (e.g. people's opinions & thoughts regarding the current government officials/system, regarding the vaccine, regarding the pandemic as a whole, or any other social issues that may have surfaced during this period of time)

I'm so sorry for the use of capital letters & for this non cm, non Hotch content omg but you're like the only other person i can go to to "survey" like this 😭 I LOVE YOU and i wish you all the best

pls rmb to stay hydrated too babe I love you so much muah

🌙

Hi I'm putting everything below the keep reading for easy scrolling x

I'm hoping it hasn't been twelve hours... I'm convinced it hasn't. Okay, let's go! Why did they wait so long to change, that doesn't make any sense- okay, anyways, good luck!!

That seems really cool!

I do live in the UK :)

1. it's.... well, it's a bit all over the place. In England (where I live) all restrictions have been lifted so there are no masks required anywhere, and the isolation rules have been changed but the number of cases seem to be rising slightly, but then people are getting vaccinated, and more people are also fully vaccinated, so... yeah. It's weird. They've started vaccinating the under-18s as well!

2. I wouldn't say rampant, but they're definitely there. There were reports of people protesting, and some areas definitely have a lower vaccine take up, and there are also age groups that seem to be taking it less. There's definitely been a lot of rumours about what covid actually does, and people still don't think it's real. There was an incident a few weeks ago, where people were protesting the vaccine and an ex-nurse who spread misinformation said some absolutely horrific things...

3. I have. But actually, a lot of the misinformation and conspiracies I've seen online have been on TikTok, and have therefore tended to come from American people instead of British. My dad has been forwarded a lot of WhatsApp videos about how you don't need to get vaccinated- he deleted them and is fully vaccinated, but still.

3. Okay so some of my family now despise the tories even more than they did before. Others haven't really changed their views, because they're rich enough to actually benefit from the tories being in power (don't ask me how) and think the government did their best. I think it proved to a lot of people that the government really do not care about the future. They were willing to let children starve, they screwed an entire cohort of A-Levels over, and they really only care if you can afford to give them more money.

It's made the people in my life more aware of the role class and race play when it comes to medical care, and it also showed a lot of them how willing the government were to put the economy ahead of people's lives.

When it comes to the vaccine, a decent amount of people in my family got vaccinated, but the running theme there tends to be: public sector or clinically vulnerable. My dad works in education, my sister in healthcare and my mum was shielding. They all got vaccinated. I did as well when it became an option (my arm still hurts like a bitch lol)

But other people in my family have seen misinformation and now don't want to get vaccinated because they think they'll be safe/they heard and believe the conspiracy theories. I also have friends that are going to wait to get vaccinated because they're not convinced it's actually safe for the under-18s. My mum has a friend that will forward the anti-vaxxer videos etc, because she believes them and is firmly against getting any sort of vaccine for anything. So yeah! I hope that answers your questions, if you have anymore, just ask!

Good luck with the presentation! I'm sure you're going to do great <3

Ahh, don't apologise. We can discuss everything here. I hope I'm able to help :)

Love you too x

[lovelybrittxo]

where do I even start?

I’m literally only writing this for myself since typing a whole novel out on the computer is way easier than writing this in a physical journal which is what I normally do. I come to Tumblr though when I have way too much to say and don't know how to say it. I just need to get it off my chest before I blow up. so here it goes...

shall we start at the beginning? I grew up in a decently religious household. my mom, sister and I went to church almost every Sunday with all our aunts and uncles. don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and whatnot and I wouldn't change my upbringing in the church for anything. but it may have suppressed my views on the world. something my aunt said to me a few years ago has stuck to brain ever since and I can't seem to shake it. she told me that she actually believes that being gay is a sin and that you can love the sinner but not the sin. so like, she believes if you're gay, you can be gay but don't act upon it/the sin. she believes, for example, that being trans is a mental illness. like, I just can't wrap my head around that. and honestly, she spoke with so much conviction and “sense” that she actually had me fooled to think the same way for a hot second. and then to learn that my other “cool” aunt also believes this... kinda sad. both of those aunts have literally talked down upon family (and our family is very tight knit) and people they love... what would they do if they ever found out about me?

ive felt a lot of feelings ever since I was young. mostly towards males... but also towards females. I just thought the female part was me wanting to be like them or be their friend and just have them like me and accept me as a chill person to be around. but fast forward to a couple years ago. I was bombarded (in a good way) by social media flaunting (in a good way lol) different sexualities and things. its hard to describe but that “world” was just becoming more prominent to me I guess.

I started to try and put my religious upbringing in the background so I could focus on trying to figure out who I really was. ive been doing this for at least a couple years now. and although im still trying to really figure it out, right now half way through 2020, I think im getting closer to an answer. and guess what has helped me the most? tiktok lmao! no but for real, the internet is an amazing place for discovery in any form. after I started to get into real communities online (like kpop and penpaling) i’ve never felt more connected to the internet and it allowed me to try and find real personal help... if that makes any sense. i’ve just tried to put myself out there and not just google my feelings but piece together a map from asking real people over the Internet here and there to try and figure out who I am.

sometime last year (or maybe earlier) I found a YouTube video of a popular creator retelling her coming out story. I just randomly commented on the video about how I had been feeling, not to get a reply but just to comment. but then I actually got a real reply (not from the creator but still a nice person). they said something along the lines of me basically being bicurious. I had never in my life heard of such a word and I had thought that this person was just making it up. one google search later I found out it was a real thing. although at the time of first looking it up I was still very confused about the word... still kinda am? lol. however, just a couple weeks ago I had seen a post somewhere (an ad I think selling pride flags) saying there was an official bicurious flag. I was in shock. I thought it was a scam, but its not, it’s real (I just don't think it’s talked about very often cause it doesn't seem like a solid sexuality that you can claim your entire life). but anyway.

now what i’m gonna say next I don't want to come off in the wrong way (you nonexistent person reading this lol), but I feel like dating a trans person brought me into that “world” a bit more. like, i had literally never met anyone who was trans before him or anyone who was gay or used a they/them pronoun... never. but in his world, all of that was common and normal. and this is where I don't want to come off wrongly... I don't wanna make it seem like because I dated a trans person i’m qualified to be included in the LGBT community now or to talk about LGBT stuff or whatever. I just think because I dated him, it opened up my shallow world a bit. especially because he’s open about it (on a side note I always loved looking at his huge trans flag above his bed. that was the first flag I had really ever memorized because of him. besides the rainbow one obviously lol). like, his best friend uses they/them pronouns, and although i’ve always been aware of that, i’ve only ever seen things about it through YouTube videos and whatnot. I had never had to actually use those pronouns for anyone I knew in real life until I met his best friend. like, everything I knew about that “world” had only been through online researching/consuming. i’d never experienced it in real life before.

I remember one night we talked about it a little. I knew he was bisexual and so I asked him if he’d ever dated a guy. he asked me if I would ever date a girl and i just said that I had always thought about it and that my tinder profile was set to find both genders. then we talked about pride since it was at the beginning of quarantine and we didn't know if parades were still gonna happen or not yet. he said I could always go as an ally because I told him I felt ashamed and like I shouldn't be allowed to attend a pride parade. (of course he reassured me I can go and he wasn't shocked about me liking both genders at all...he just said ‘nice’ lol)

I still have a little inkling in the back of my mind that I still shouldn't be able to attend though. honestly because I don't know what I would be attending as. I feel like an imposter. I don't want people thinking that im doing all this for attention or just because I dated one person in the LGBT community. i’ve been struggling with this for so long... but it just so happens that now at 27 years old im coming to terms with who I am. I just feel like because I didn't figure it out earlier that I’m not “worthy” of being included. I feel like such an outsider because no one’s “invited” me in yet lol because im still trying to figure it out.

and on the same note, I don't feel like i’m worthy because I still really don't have a solid answer. at the moment I just use bicurious because ive never dated a girl before. the trans guy ive been talking about has been the only person i’ve ever been romantically involved with. im serious. I made it 26 years without being with anyone in any type of way. I feel like I don't have the right to call myself bisexual. however, I feel a tiny bit more confident in using that label maybe after I do end up dating a girl in the future and not feel guilty about using it because that same guy calls himself bisexual but told me right out one day that he’s way more attracted to girls than guys and im in the same situation but opposite. the only difference at this point in time is that he’s dated both and I haven't. but thennnn on the other hand, do I even need to label myself at all right now??

even if I did wanna come out, I don't wanna do it until I really have a solid answer about my identity. i just feel like such a fraud or something because im trying to figure it out so late. and like, im going so over the top with my support this year because I feel like I should fit in and maybe im trying too hard? again, I just don't want people thinking its because I dated one trans guy and all of a sudden im huge into the LGBT community. it’s not like that. all of this is just helping me bring out my true self. ugh this is the part where it gets confusing to put into words. i’m aware and I have pure intentions. im just trying to figure out myself after a long time of trying to figure out myself lol

some days the research is overwhelming. there's so many facts and opinions and different people’s stories and labels. as crazy as it sounds I just want someone who’s been gay their whole life to come up and tell me “yup, your bisexual no doubt” lol or something like that. I guess I just want to be validated in my exploration. and i’ve seen random tiktok comments saying stuff like that, that validates me, but the difference is that their comments aren’t directed specifically to me. they don't know me personally. it’s hard to have a random social media comment resonate with me. honestly, and this may sound selfish and not right, but when I was talking to the guy I was seeing, I almost wish he just told me straight out what I was that day. but instead he said I could go to Pride as an ally. and that was probably just him being respectful and not forcing me to be anything, but it almost had the opposite effect on me. by saying I was an ally it felt like he was giving me that permanent label even after telling him I like guys and girls.... ya know?

something recently happened to me that really stuck with me and I was so happy. I have a penpal who is very southern Texas raised religious. she knows the Bible better than I do. I had posted a Pride doodle I did on my Instagram at the beginning of this month and she was the only one who personally responded with an encouraging and supportive dm. if she can support whole heartedly the LGBT community and still love God, then why can't I?? and that's when I trulyyyy knew that I was right and my aunt’s were wrong and I wasn't going insane lol

I wanted to buy a bicurious or pride flag recently. but then was torn when I saw the ally flag (which I also didn't know existed until recently) and the bisexual flag. I know they're just flags but it feels so solid?? like you buy one when you know what you are.... and I don't yet. so I ended up not buying one at all :/

again, there was no purpose to this post because I know no one is going to read it but I just had to type it out into the world so I didn't have to bottle it up anymore.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I don’t like sports.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: Some random person, so I denied it.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Well, no.

How recently did you wash your hands?:  Like 10 minutes ago.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: I don’t know any Emma’s.

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Not at this exact moment. 

How did you feel when you woke up today?:  I haven’t gone to bed, yet.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Watching TV, ASMR, reading, surveys... they can help distract anyway.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: Scrolling through Tumblr and listening to an ASMR video.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: Sleep. It’s 8AM, I should have gone to sleep hours ago

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Hmm.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Finn. Animals are far better at that than humans. <<< Agreed. My doggo can always make me smile.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: Meh. I don’t think a whole lot of myself, so. <<< Same.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: I don’t remember. 

Who was the last person that apologised to you?:  I don’t recall.

What were they apologising for?:

Do you think they meant it?:

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have my mom on Facebook.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: I don’t like anyone in that way currently.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plain baby blue case I’ve been using recently for my Bible study with some pens and highlighters in it.

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Dad.

How did you meet him/her?: He met me the day I was born.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?:  Yeah, he had some scruff.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It’d be extremely awkward. I haven’t seen or talked to him in almost 5 years.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: Losing my loved ones and my health issues getting worse or never getting better.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: No.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?:  lol I often jokingly say, “what a day” after being up for only like an hour or after doing nothing all day (everyday). 

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.:  Nah.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?:  We have Ho Hos.  

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: My younger brother.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: ^^^ and yes.

Who was the last person you insulted?:  I don’t go around insulting people.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: My mom and brother are asleep, my dad is at work.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: No. I don’t interact with any of my neighbors.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Not recent at all, it’s been almost 5 years.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?:  I’ve said that to myself in regards to others, like if I see a rude/mean/troll comment on something or read about something crazy I’ll be like, ‘get outta here with all that.’

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “ice on my neck I’m stunnin’

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: No.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: Same stuff as always. If ya’ll have realized, my days are all very much the same.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: Here at home watching, “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” on Netflix. That movie left me like wtf??? it was trippy. I read some articles about it and have a better understanding of it now, but it’s still pretty uh interesting. 

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: I’ve been getting up between 230-4PM for most of this year.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: Nope.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?:  No. I’ve grown apart from people, but I don’t dislike them.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: I haven’t had a candy bar in years.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: No, but I used to know someone with the same birthday.

Name the last song that made you cry.:  I get in the feels anytime I hear the acoustic version of Everlong by Foo Fighters because of the memory I have attached to it.

Who do you miss at this moment?: I’ll always miss my loved ones who passed away. I also miss one of my aunts, who I haven’t seen in like a year.

Where is that person?: She only lives like 45 minutes away.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: I’ve dyed it red the past few years.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: It’s 830AM, I haven’t even talked to anyone yet.

Is your television on atm?: Yep.

If it is, what are you watching?:  The Golden Girls.

Are you wearing anything blue?:  Nope.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: My mom, brother, and some people in TikTok and YouTube videos.

Do you use Twitter?:  I do.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. It’s an ASMR video about a true crime story.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: Nope.

[piilokarsastus]

Question time!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? because life is hard and i just don’t understand what i’m doing wrong but everyone else seems to know

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? nope. and to be fair, i would be sleeping anyway

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? if it’s like an actual thing for them that they do regularly, i’d probably be a bit concerned, but i don’t see anything wrong with trying things out for fun. if you’re just a straight up pothead, we wouldn’t be dating in the first place

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? i guess

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? filling in another pointless question post on tumblr, funny that you should ask

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? unlikely scenario, but i’m gonna say my friends from uni

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? probably spend the next few years thinking about it, unable to trust anyone again

8: Are you close with your dad? not as close as with my mum but still reasonably close

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? i’m curious as to what kind of life you think i’m living because this is not it

10: What are you listening to? the soothing hum of my laptop fan

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? woter:)

12: Do you like hickeys? i don’t exactly understand the point

13: What time do you go to bed? going to bed and falling asleep are two very different things but usually around 2-4

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? me. it’s me.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? definitely not

16: Do you always answer your texts? sooner or later, yes

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? not that long ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? all of my friends

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? aight imma head out

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? no

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? in a sense i do

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? i feel like i was, yeah

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? well there’s nothing to “fix” per se, i just wish things went differently

25: In the past week, have you cried? yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? red

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? my aunt often does, weirdly enough

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? only every single one of the 4 people i’ve messaged on tinder recently. which makes me feel really great

29: Do you have a best friend? there’s someone i could perhaps call my best friend but i don’t think i have a “true” best friend at the moment like those i’ve had before

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? no i’m completely neutral towards her

31: Who was your last call from? my friend tried to call me yesterday but i couldn’t answer

32: Are you mad at anyone? no

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? marginally, yes

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? honestly i don’t know?? i don’t remember when she was born exactly but i feel like we were born in the same year at least, so i’m guessing either 21 or 22

35: How many more days until your birthday? 329

36: Do you have any summer plans yet? summer literally just ended so no

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? not exactly a fan of the word opposite in this context but i get what you mean. so yeah, most of my friends are of the “opposite” sex

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? nothing that would be their business to know

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? i guess i do.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? i haven’t kissed nearly enough people for there to be any regrets. soo... would you like to be my first regret? haha just kidding... unless...

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? not going to write the essay that the wording of this question warrants but basically yes but only to some extent; what’s more important is that you’re in a similar phase in life and have similar expectations about the relationship. age can be a large factor in those things as well as your “maturity” but it isn’t the only factor.

42: Are you available? yeah bitch hmu

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? two

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? well i guess it’d have to be a septum, then

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? yes, in fact that’s my life philosophy

46: Do you regret anything? :)) i don’t think about it as much as i used to but i’ve never fully forgiven myself for confessing my feelings to someone who wasn’t interested in me. this is known as the february 2019 incident

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? tiddies

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? yeah, not to death but to life

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? no

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? i don’t quite like anyone at the moment and it’s gonna take a long time until i’m ever going to have the courage to make a move on anyone i’m interested in because of the aforementioned incident

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? no

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? no, like there’s nothing negative between us and we’d say hello if we met on the street but we just don’t talk 

53: What was the last thing you ate? pancake:)

54: Did you get any compliments today? haven’t really interacted with anyone today so no

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? bich this is my vacation, i’m going nowhere except to bed

56: Do you own anything from other countries? yes. like i’m a bit amused by this question like where on this planet can you even live where at least some of your stuff hasn’t been made in China etc. (well, i guess that would be China). but even if you’re referring to souvenirs from trips etc, still yes

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life? in Oulu, Finland

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? a few months ago, but i wasn’t the one driving

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? yes, also known as the game where my friends try to find out who i have a crush on

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? i had to google what TPing means and i’m more and more scared of americans every day

62: Who do you text the most? honestly my social life is at a point where my most common recurring interaction is exchanging cat videos with my mum (apart from group chats)

63: What was the last movie you saw? the matrix

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? yeah as if i have one

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 2010?? damn i was literally 10

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? we were around the same age

67: Do you curse around your parents? for comedic effect

68: Are you happy with where you live? not my dream apartment but it’s okay

69: Do you collect anything? my tiktok seems to have become a collection of about 250 cute lgbt folks, but other than that, no

70: What’s your favourite colour? a kind of deep, ultramarine blue

71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone? not in particular

72: Has anyone ever cheated on you? no

73: What are your plans for tomorrow? make some music

74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? i don’t have any

75: Does your last ex have a job? not that i know of

76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? she is and i’m happy for her, or as happy as i can be while being painfully aware of the fact that my love life hasn’t gone anywhere in the past two years

77: Where is your cellphone? on the floor, charging

78: What colour is your cellphone? black and bronze

79: What did you dream of last night? it was something fairly nsfw and extremely hot and i lterally had to pause for a second when i woke up because damn it’s been so fucking long since i’ve experienced that irl and it left me with a bad case of yearning

80: Are you atheist? yes

81: Will you change your name when you get married? no

82: Are you ready for autumn weather? would be a bit too late if i wasn’t

83: Have you had any big storms recently? there was one that was rumoured to be really big but tbh i barely noticed it 

84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing? just my comfy pajamas

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol 

[fairy-writes]

hi bae! so here's my request for a bnha male match-up uwu (preferably one of the students and not pro-heroes or villains please)<333

I'm pan curious (is that even a word?), and i use she/they pronouns. I'm a Pisces altho i act like an aquarius, im sri lankan, enfp-t and, slytherin. my love languages are quality time and physical touch. i have black mid-length wavy hair, tan skin, dark brown eyes and im skinny no matter how much i eat T-T and im 5'11 and also a minor.

im extroverted, i have anger and trust issues, I really appreciate it when people pay attention to what im saying and it hurts alot when they dont, i tend to carry a burden by myself even if it pains me, my normal confident and straight-forward self goes bye-bye when i need to ask someone if i can rant to them, i look intimidating at first glance and people say I'm a baddie but i cant help but think I'm a softie. i'm afraid of commitment, confined spaces and being alone in the dark.

i cant sit still for more than 2 mins and i always have to be doing something. im tomboyish and athletic (i do track, basketball, badminton and swimming). i play the cello in the school orchestra and im learning piano and violin. im pretty much always on social media (mostly tumblr, insta and tiktok) and i listen to pop, and indie/alternative music like 24/7. my friends say im chaotic, charming, badass, coffee addicted, hyperactive and funny. they also say im really annoying (which i already know) because i randomly send them memes, tiktoks, lame pickup lines and weird facts at like 3am and sometimes i call them at that time too. i love having heart to heart conversations with the ppl i like and i use nicknames with everyone i know and when they use nicknames back i get soft.

a weird thing i do : whenever im angry (which is most of the time), i think of blue butterflies to calm myself down.

before quarantine started, i almost always was at an amusement park, arcade or the movies with my friends.

sorry if this is alot, i kinda got carried away lmao.

ANYWAYS, stay safe, take care, wear a mask, drink water, eat on time and all in all, take care of yourself! love you uwu <333

AYO A FELLOW CELLIST HELLO!! I mean, I haven’t touched my cello since, like- idk 2018? But I still consider myself a cellist. But MATCHUP TIME!!

I pair you with… Kirishima Eijiro!

First of all, you are 5’11, and he is 5’7, so there is a little bit of height difference (almost the same height difference between my younger sister and me actually, she’s 5’11 and I’m 5’6). Still, he doesn’t mind, and that doesn’t stop him from picking you up in a hug or giving you piggyback rides (it might be a little awkward, but he tries).

He loves doing anything athletic with you, whether that be basketball, swimming, etc. He’ll do it all if you merely ask! He also loves to listen to you play the cello and try and help in any way he can with violin and piano! (he’s not good at helping in that department, but again, he tries).

Kirishima honestly thrives on chaos. Have you seen his friend group? You’d fit right in! So your “chaotic, charming, badass, coffee addicted, hyperactive, and funny” personality would be like a perfect piece to his puzzle of friends and as his significant other!

He tries his best to help you with your trust and anger issues. He is always available to listen - legit, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing to help and listen to you. He tries to help you carry any burden he sees you struggling with. All in all, he’s your perfect puzzle piece!

I hope this is alright, and I hope you like your matchup! Sorry, it took so long!

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. I’d love to just be able to go to the beach and relax, but that won’t happen. That was the only place I could feel relaxed. Beaches have reopened, but the hours are limited and you can’t just sit/lay there like you used to be able to. You can only walk around. And anyway, the fact we’re still very much in the thick of this whole thing I don’t feel safe or comfortable going places yet or being around people. I wouldn’t feel relaxed at all. 

2. What color are your pants? I’m wearing black leggings.

3. Favorite motivational quote. Meh.

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I’m drinking a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, which as the can says is a “energy coffee beverage.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?   Ramen.

6. Favorite animal. Giraffes! <<< Aww, saaaame. And doggos. (:

7. Favorite song. I couldn’t just choose one favorite.

8. Last movie you watched? I’m completely blanking at the moment in regards to the last movie, but I’ve binged a lot of a couple shows on Netflix recently. 

9. Any turn ons? Nice smelling cologne. 

10. Any turn offs? Cockiness and arrogance.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, agoraphobia, tryphophobia.  

12. What are some meaningful movies?   Hmm.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? God and my family. Yep, I’m grouping my family cause I couldn’t just choose 2.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? Let’s be real- I won’t be doing anything.

15. When was the last time you read a good book? I’m almost done with one called, “Never Walk Alone” by Willow Rose.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? I spend about 20 minutes to an hour when doing my Bible studies. 

17. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) I like certain fruity and sweet ones, ones with patchouli, and beachy and autumnal scents from B&BW.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Those of us in this survey community live all over. 

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Probably that I have a bowl of ramen of every night.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? A series of unfortunate events <– Pretty damn accurate. Lmao. <<< Lol, I’ve made that joke before, too. I also find it quite fitting for my life.

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? Last month.

23. Are you a shopaholic? I was. My online shopping got out of hand the last few years, too. However, I’ve actually been pretty good this year so far. 

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? Upbeat and catchy songs help in the moment. Sad, emo, relatable songs can help as well, though. Sometimes just shouting along to “I’m Not Okay” saying, “I’M NOT OKAY, I’M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!” or something can feel good. ha. Need some good angst.

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. Surveys, reading, and listening to ASMR.

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? I don’t think I’d last long in any biome.

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Uh, I don’t.

28. How was your day? What did you do? It’s only about 330 in the morning, but so far it’s been fine. I’ve had my bowl of ramen, scrolled some through Tumblr, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR.

29. What did your last text message say? I sent my brother a TikTok video that reminded me of our doggo.

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? It depends.

31. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. I don’t knowwww.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I wouldn’t be famous. I’m not that special or talented. <<< Same. I don’t want to be famous anyway.

34. Winter or summer? Winter, HANDS DOWN.

35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy would be great.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? I already have a large collection of giraffe stuffed animals, books, key chains, and graphic tees. I don’t have room for more.

37. What have you been thinking about lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess with a lot of stuff that is always on my mind from my health, family, and just life in general. But this year has and continues to give me a lot to think about as well.

38. What is the secret to a happy life? Ha, you’re asking the wrong person.

39. What are some phrases you say often? I know I have my many “Stephanieisms”, but I always seem to blank when asked this question.

40. Favorite food? Ramen, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, spinach, and green onion, Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta salads, pesto pasta, deli sandwiches, and baked potatoes.

41. List 3 wishes. I feel like you’ve asked me this in different ways a few times now.

42. What are some of your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away...stuff like that.

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some stuff for the last Bible study I did.

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Beautiful beaches and mountainous areas. I went on a gondola last year that took us up over 9,000ft and the views were breathtaking. 

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, but I haven’t been able to eat it for a few years now due to some health reasons. It sucks. :/

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? I love ‘em. I used to be a big baby, but I did a complete switch a few years ago.

47. Do you like to travel? Yes.

48. Any regrets? I have a lot of those.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? It used to be food or clothes, but this year I haven’t been doing a lot of shopping. 

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? Hot Topic and BoxLunch.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? I’m always feeling down, so I’m not the one to ask about that either.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? The future terrifies me. My mind is more wrapped up in current and past stuff.

55. What angers you the most? Injustice and corruption.  

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? In my personal life, it’s been awhile since I’ve been angry. I get irritated and frustrated very easily, though.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? Sadness is one of my personality traits.

58. Are you good at lying? I used to be when it came to lying and downplaying about myself like with how I’m doing and really feeling, but my emotions took control. I still downplay and leave things out, but it’s obvious I’m not doing well. 

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I’ve been wanting to brush up and start practicing again. 

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak some Spanish.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I stay at home.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I’ve read several this year and I plan to read several more. 

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Nope. Very rarely these days since I sleep until like 3PM everyday. Sometimes I’ll have breakfast foods for a late lunch or dinner, though.

64. Tell us a secret. Nah.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Seven.

66. Last hug? My doggo. I haven’t hugged a person in months.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? You guys, probably. ha.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? I haven’t been for a long time... 

70. What song is stuck in your head? None at the moment.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Mexico. Besides my own, of course.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Understanding and low maintenance. 73. What helps you to sleep better? Listening to/watching ASMR can help. 

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1k.

75. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Hmm.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I always forgive but never forget. <<<

78. First mobile phone? A gray Motorola flip phone.

79. Strangest dream? I have a lot of those.

80. Best dream? Hmm. 

81. Who is the smartest person you know? My younger brother.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? All of you.

83. Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love my family. They’re my everything.

85. Do you like sharing? Sharing what?

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? Probably of my doggo.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? I believe so.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like variety. 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Nahhh.

91. Describe the world in 4 words. Nahhh.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m boring.

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I’m not checking right now.

94. Are you more creative or logical? Logical. I wish I was creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I mean, it kind of depends. If it’s something serious and they need to know, then I’d have to tell them even though it would be hard and could hurt them. 

96. What are you most proud of? I don’t feel proud of myself for anything.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Those who are driven.

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? I’m at the beach, just staring out into the ocean while listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling the cool ocean air on my face, breathing it in.

99. How do you usually start a conversation? I usually don’t, ha. But I suppose with a “hey” or something of the sort.

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? That it was all just a horrible dream. <<< Oh man. If only.