#anyways I am aggressively bisexual thank you very much

[trinitea-fics]

Shout out again to my asshole ex-roommate who (apparently) was bummed about not having a girlfriend before we started living together. And our mutual friend (apparently) was like "oh maybe you two will hit it off".

To which he responded "Isn't she gay? She seems more like competition than dating material".

Dude. I thought I was aggressively bisexual. Do I not publicly thirst over men enough???

(and then when I did find out he was an asshole, I told myself that I would try to steal his girl if he ever got a girlfriend. And thank god, I don't think he has a girlfriend)

[br4inr0tx]

Hello how are you doing this fine evening/or morning? hopefully well I expect, thank you for doing a matchup exchange with me and let’s start!

Fandom: May I have a romantic male matchup for hazbin hotel, helluva boss and the John Doe game please? I just don’t want mammon, or any hellhounds(like vortex, loona) at all (I love them but I don’t wanna be matched up with one) and no Angel dust either, just wanna change in character :,)

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin, Eden or Luke too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, I pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i hate kids but i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it, even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, even though hugging makes me uncomfortable i will push past that boundary and hug someone with all my heart if they needed it, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday for the past 12 years despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love you, you'll be seen.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid/regular producer, i can rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music to similar artists I like, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, vkei, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(game), otome games and more!

these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it world be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), clumsy; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of “blow this popsicle stand"); prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, i love dancing a lot, I do a lot of dancing like tiktok (idk I’m so sorry😭) dancing, belly dancing, dabke dancing, I play the electric / bass guitar, piano, cello, koto, and more.

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei, i like wearing traditional asian dresses and more but the ones highlighted are the ones I wear mostly. (I wear a LOT of gyaru, lolita, ouji & vkei recently LOL)

どうもありがとうございます！Have a good day/or night!

Ofc! I’m glad I got to do one with you. You’re extremely cool btw, I hope we can be mutuals! <3

tw - blood, knives, guns, murder of others, occultism, description of mutilation on another person, implied stalking, toxic relationships (they’re murderous people, what do you expect?)

Your Hazbin Hotel matchup is… ALASTOR !!

• I think the next best ship for you would be Alastor! I’m not super confident with this one, but I hope you do enjoy this match nonetheless.

• Alastor would immediately break down those awkward walls you built up, making conversation with your pretty quickly, almost instantly after you meet. He kind of is a little pushy too, if he needs something from you, whatever that might be. He’s used to awkwardness though, so please don’t feel ashamed.

• I like to think it’s impossible for Alastor to be absolutely quiet. There’s always radio noises being played, and his voice can get only get to a pitch where it’s literally just him using an inside voice. I don’t think he can whisper lmao.

• That being said, you guys are relatively loud. The both of you can embrace it together! Anyone who speaks on it will surely have a talk with Alastor.

• The both of you have a great sense of humor, and laugh at each others jokes a lot! Granted he may use a lot of dad-jokes, but the times he’s genuinely funny you adore.

• He loves it when you break the rules of what’s "normal". Or even the times you cause trouble! Alastor definitely encourages it and will sometimes be right by your side while you’re at it.

• He doesn’t take offense to things easily. If you ever catch onto his tricks and point them out, he’ll just love of observant and clever you are..which is something he’s attracted to in my mind.

• Your laugh is extremely cute to him, especially if you’re laughing at his silly dad-jokes. He tries to get you to laugh when he can!

• I’d imagine you’d want to pet his deer ears. If you’re daring enough you probably died and spawned in Hell again. Mind you he doesn’t like animals for their cuteness, as he used to hunt them. Perhaps you can warm him up to them just a little? Most likely he’ll just let you indulge.

• You’re a very independent person, and while he sometimes fantasizes seeing you at your lowest, it might makes him feel tingly seeing not everyone on this Earth is pathetic.

• He’s more of a tea person (Or at least I think so, as he’s shown drinking tea in his prequel comic.). He at spoils you with little outings to the coffee shop together too.

• Honestly, he spoils you rotten with gifts too. Especially plushies and the remains of those people you oh so hate.

• He doesn’t understand your soda craze..so instead of buying you soda he’s more traditional, getting you chocolates and sweets instead.

• He hates TV. He won’t watch Anime with you typically, but if you want to rant or talk about it you may humor him, along with sometimes hearing his opinion on it.

• Most of the time he tries to get a genuine understanding on whatever you love. As I mentioned he wouldn’t watch anything, but definitely picks up on common details that’ll probably make you feel heard when he mentions them.

• Alastor isn’t a touchy person either. If by any chance you want to be touched, it’ll have to be in complete privacy.

• You’re very cute when you cry. He’ll do a light head pat to make you feel better, though honestly he doesn’t do much else. He loves to have his control over your emotions.

• Alastor thinks you’re very talented! He loves seeing you draw, and he can often pick out specific small details in your art, which you like.

• Honestly, all of your collections are impressive! Though Alastor might poke fun and ask if it’s really necessary to collect so much.

• The languages you speak are gorgeous. He loves hearing you speak them. Especially in a intimate or feisty manner.

• You’re style is gorgeous as well. He’s especially in love with your gothic and Vkei style, since it compliments the both of you together. Whenever you wear dresses or suits he's over the moon!

• He definitely dances with you a lot! He’s more prone to traditional and jazz dancing, but all dancing is very fun! Though I don’t think you could ever catch Alastor doing hip hop or any jazz dancing.

• You’re more of a prized pet to Alastor. I wouldn’t be sad by that either, since it’s be way worse to be on his shit list instead. I don’t think he’s truly capable of pure love, but at the same time your relationship isn’t one sided. He loves you most, since you’re the most entertaining to his daily afterlife.

Your Helluva Boss matchup is… BLITZØ !!

• The one hell of a boss from I.M.P.! I think he’d be a good match for you, Stolas and Millie being a close seconds.

• Blitzø is very extroverted, though at sometimes he can be awkward, and not really in the mood to talk. It’s easy to tell when he wants to be alone, since he makes an active effort to isolate himself, so be aware of that and take not hard feelings.

• Just like you, he’s very talkative and loud. Don’t worry about talk to much, as he does the same thing.

• He’s especially loud when he’s off doing regular Blitzø shinanigans. Though it seems if it’s something serious he knows to calm down and focus, and will try to get you to do the same.

• I like to think he’s the friend at the lunch table that accidentally seems to always laugh way to loud and then get everyone to turn to your table and cringe at you guys. (That might be specific lmao-)

• He’s very much a silly goober, and will do certain things with no rhyme or reason to some extent. Please don’t worry if you get too silly, as remember you now have a boyfriend that will commit arson in every ring just to see which one gets the most pissed off.

• Blitzø constantly hurts himself considering what he does for a job. It melts his heart when you heal him from a mission..he feels extremely cared for in those moments.

• While Blitzø might not say he doesn’t need it, he really appreciates you taking care of him on his down days.

• Considering you both need to get some anger out, I can see a date night being the both of you going to a wreck room or something. He usually doesn’t have all the time in the world for dates due to his job, but when they do happen they usually have a lot of thought out into them.

• Another cute idea would be to go to his favorite horse ranch, since Blitzø loves horses, and you simply love all animals. He’ll even buy to riding lessons!

• Blitzø probably thought stimming was weird at first, but after he started replicating (probably mockingly knowing him smh) it with, he realized how fun and regulating it can be.

• Blitzø has no personal space unless he’s the one that wants it, he’s around you a lot, though knows your boundaries. He’s more usually in a five meter radius of you then touching, as he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Honestly, others are scared to be around you two for too long, but that just keeps the two of you closer.

• As for your anger issues, he recommends you take it out on others by killing! (Take the advice of you want, up to you.)

• Blitzø can’t be left alone for too long, or he’ll just end up doing something stupid anyway. That being said, being in company to calms down both of your racing minds.

• Blitzø isn’t really into money as much as he’s into actual items. That being said, he’s very money blind, and simply spends a lot. I’d like to think he buys his random horse figurines with I.M.P.’s money. If you ever call him out on that, he might just realize your own habits. This way the two of you can call each other out and maybe set a certain budget for the both of you, and if anything goes over that price you’d need to discuss it together to see if it’s worth it.

• He LOVES junk food, and he most definitely has stashes of snacks all over his office. He’d love to share it with you!

• There was this one time before you went to bed, Blitzø snuck into your bed and pretended to be one of your plushies just so he could get a goodnight kiss lmao. You ended up with him as your stuffie to cuddle tightly that night. <3

• He does love to watch it with you when he has the time, and hopefully you’d like to watch his own shows sometimes too.

• He loves playing video games with you! Though on certain games he can get particularly competitive, and would probably not care less to let you win unless you did of fair and square. He can be a bit of an asshole in that regard, but at least you’d get some fun commentary on the way!

• Your music is on his playlist for sure, and he’ll always ask to be the first one to listen to a new song, demo or not.

• He also really adores your art! He’d commission you all the time to draw horses for him lmao

• He spoils you rotten with presents in the form of figurines and plushies! If he’s in more of a mood though, sometimes the presents will be bootlegs. He means well by it of course.

• Blitzø loves coffee! (Supposedly, as on his Instagram he’s seen with it a lot.) He’d loves getting coffee with you all the time so the two of you can both fill that caffeine rush you have.

• You guys would also bully kids on roblox. I thin Blitzø would really enjoy playing mimic and piggy, but he honestly hops into whatever game you’re in.

• You’re definitely taller then him, since he’s an Imp. Please billy him about it lmao.

• Still on appearances, Blitzø really cares about the outfits he wears. He always has an aesthetic he sticks to for a day, much like you. That being said, he can easily help you pick an outfit for the day if you just ask.

• Blitzø isn’t the best at cheering you up with words often times. He tries to go by the mentality that misery love company, and for that, he simply lends a helping hand and hope it works.

• Blitzø might seem like asshole of a guy sometimes, but he genuinely cares about people weather he tries to show that or not. He loves you, and he’s glad to have someone that will, once again, be a genuine friend.

Your John Doe matchup is… JOHN DOE !!

• you little cheater he’s the only fucker in the game. Unless you’re also counting House Hunted and Fox’s other games- but with that still in place Doe is the best match for you.

• Doe is very forward, and never beats around the bush. Doe is more extroverted then you, and therefore will be willing to speak for you if you ever needed that.

• Doe doesn’t really have a rhyme or reason for some of the things she does, so I believe your guidance would be needed. On the other hand though, Doe would help you find ways to let loose!

• He buys you a lot of stuff, since he knows you love it! He will literally spoil you rotten. He also likes the reaction you make to his presents, disc

• Doe will literally become a house wife if that’s what you want, even. They’re extremely flexible to whatever you desire, especially since it’s coming from you.

• She would do anything for a goodnight kiss..Like Blitzø, she’d most likely pretend to be one of your plushies just so she could steal I kiss, even though they’re very well capable of just asking lol.

• Doe doesn’t typically have bad mental health days, but he’s very poignant to yours. He may get not do well with the speaking parts in that regard, but like I said before, misery loves company. He’ll most likely just sit next to you like a curious puppy, knowing your dad but not understanding anything beyond that realization.

• Doe is really loud, from what I gather. Especially when they’re excited about something, they start to speak up, even speeding up their words a little. It’s hard to keep up with sometimes, but seriously, don’t be worried about your volume. Doe is basically blind to that stuff.

• She watches all of your favorite shows with no judgement whatsoever. Doe loves all TV! She also listens to all kinds of music, though her personal favorite is static noise.

• Doe is very touchy, so unfortunately it will take some times to resist touching you since he’s been waiting a long, looong time to do anything with you.

• Doe can’t really help with sleep. They’d just stare at you, maybe stroke their warm fingers through your hair to lull you to sleep if you as them to.

• Doe plays a lot of games with you though! She might cheat with her reality warping powers just to tease you. Your reaction is always so cute!!

• Doe worships you like a god, honestly. Especially if the relationship works out. Doe loves you for every talent you have, weather that be dancing or drawing. They praise you so much for it, it’s really sweet.

• I’d also like to think he likes candy and coffee, with some er..specific ingredients at the very least. Still, they love following you around most of the time. If you go to a certain place, expect Doe to certainly be there either next to you or hiding somewhere to stalk you closely. Sometimes it’s best to just walk gnome it and go on with your daily lives.

• They don’t understand speaking other languages, but when you call him something in a specific name or anything similar he lights up like a lightbulb too. You’re just too cute! Too adorable..

• After looking through John Doe cosplays, I saw this one cosplayer on my feed that would often go around making skits at parks and stuff with their friends. Therefore, that gave me the headcanon the Doe ADORES making tiktoks of any kind.

• You both dress in similar styles! Doe would love to wear one of those couple onesies with you, or just genuinely match your outfit for a day. Either way, you’re not brushing their hair still. It will stay extremely stiff and still for many few more years,.

• feel free to dress him in else - Of course, feel free to dress himself in anything you want. Goth might be his go-to look, but I bet he wouldn’t mind the change up once in awhile.

• John Doe loves you so much, he’d practically do anything for you. Just be appreciative, and don’t hurt Doe’s feelings too much, and you’ll have the definition of a golden retriever boyfriend!

your Boyfriend to Death matchup is.. LAWRENCE OLEANDER !!

• I feel Lawrence would be the best match for you! It’s not even because you like him either, I think genuinely next place to Ren, Lawrence would be there!

• He relates to you awkward moments quite a bit. He has them all the time, so he finds comfort in the times you fumble your words. It makes him feel a little less alone.

• Though when you get to excited, he asks you to quiet down a little. He’ll probably be the first quiet person you absolutely cannot make be loud. Well, I guess unless he’s gutting you or sm.

• He appreciates your straight forwardness as well. When people beat around the bush, or joke around to often, it can often get him nervous.

• He gets in his head a lot, much like you do. The both of you often vent to each other instead. Though I can’t promise Lawrence will fully listen, as he often can’t take too much of others feelings. Especially if it pertains to him.

• He vents to you guine often actually, most of the time without permission or warning. He has a lot on his mind, and you tend to quell his shattering sanity with your calming presence.

• He definitely feels more chill around you, which is great you give off that affect! He doesn’t feel that way with anyone else, aside maybe from Ren. His chest tightens when he’s around you..and his heart skips a beat. You must be special.

• That being said though, he’ll become very needy for your comfort, so be prepared for that.

• I headcanon Lawrence as autistic, so he most likely stims with you! His favorites are toe taps and hand flapping, and his apartment is probably cluttered with fidget toys in random areas. You’re free to use them if you want!

• He buys your favorite drinks if you listen to his long vents. Just a simple gift for listening to him for so long.

• He’s not big on touch either, so you guys don’t really have that issues of physical affection. If one of you by any chance wants to be touched, you talk, and that’s that.

• He enjoys how creative you can get! His mind can go a little dull, as the river consumes most of his thoughts. Thinking about things you do is a nice change of pace, and immediately gets him attached to you.

• He just loves everything you do. Watching you dance is so cute..especially when you don’t know he’s watching.

• I think he’d mostly enjoy listening to documentaries with you, especially if the narrator has a calming voice lol.

• Lawrence really likes tea! He also enjoys going on outings with you, even if that doesn’t immediately read on his face. Most likely he likes seeing you happy, but it’s also another way to get his mind off things.

• He doesn’t notice when you fumble your words. He’s not really aware of most modern slang anyway. Even if he does notice somethings, he usually gets what really mean anyway to point it out.

• I believe Lawrence likes people with an specific aesthetic different from the norm, especially if they show it through their clothing. Seeing you in different styles and confident to wear them out makes his heart skip a beat! Especially if you’re wearing something particularly revealing. He eats that up. <3

• He loves the way you looked despite what you might say. He tends to obsess over your physical appearance, as he’s not much of a people person to point out your personality, unfortunately. I’m sure he’s aware of some things though.

• He loves you a lot. Please, don’t break his heart. You wouldn’t want him punish you otherwise, do you?

your Price of Flesh matchup is.. KOMODO & DRAGON !!

• I think these two would be perfect for you! I don’t think you’d really be able to get away with dating one of them without the other either, so I hope you like having both!

• Outside the desert games, I think Mike and Jace keep to themselves. They can be very reserved like you sometimes, and most often don’t bother with taking in anyone. They’re both tough nuts to crack, I’m that sense.

• Eventually, the two will open up to you, seeing as you have the same interests as them. If you aren’t a victim or already convinced, they’d try convincing you to join their yearly game of manhunt. They even recommend kidnapping someone you hate so you can sacrifice them to Strade! Surely ripping their guts out will be satisfying, and a stress relief. You wouldn’t need to deal with that asshole anymore!

• They love teasing you on your awkward behavior weather you’re a victim or not. It gives them a total power rush that they simply can’t let you get away with.

• Even if they tease a lot, they secretly love your cute little quirks. Your laugh, greedy and neediness; as well as the times you fumble your words and your taste in food. Much like everyone else on this matchup list, they like to buy you things. Especially when you guys plan on hanging out all together.

• When officially a part of their relationship, your emotions will be taken care anytime you need to attention. They’ll do whatever they can to make you feel better and comfortable.

• Although Jace, or Dragon, is more blunt, most of the time he’s just teasing. If he says something brutally honest as to where it’s not a joke, he’ll apologize for being too harsh.

• Mike, or Komodo, is the more laxed partner. He can get a little emotional too, and sometimes cry if something particularly pulls at his heartstrings. He’s definitely a cryer, although he doesn’t want to admit that. So I’d see the two of you bonding over your shared sensitive emotions.

• They’re extremely glad you reciprocate the same love and care as well. Sometimes it gets dark for them too, and to have you on there side as much as they have yours is well valued amongst the two of them.

• You’re extremely cute to them. The feeling of you being smaller then them, and absolutely having you as their cute plaything they have to share drives them nuts. Rest assured, they have plenty of plans for you.

• They bully you for having plushies, in a playful way. Mike and Jace think they’re cute, although may or may not get jealous sometimes if you’re cuddling one. They should be the one you’re cuddling.

• They watch anime with you a lot! I think they watch anime quite often anyway, so watching it with you is nice. Most of the time you guys agree of one anime to binge, and you guys watch as much as you can together. As you’d expect, they’re drawn to anime with a more dark setting or plot.

• They can go with you without touching you to be honest. Maybe one of them will have a hand over you on the couch, but not necessarily touching you. They don’t bring it up or care that much if you don’t want to be touched. Either way, you’re still theirs.

• I have no clue what they listen to, but I can assume it’s probably metal music? They both look like generic metal heads anyway, especially Mike. I doubt they listen to Vocaloid, K-pop, or J-pop, but they wouldn’t be annoyed by it. Some songs got them jamming too! Not to mention they like listening to the song your produce, you’re so talented!

• You’re art is amazing as well! Though I see them being those assholes that beg you to draw them lmao. Weather you indulge them or not is up to you.

• Overall, they mostly enjoy chilling out with you all together, playing video games or watching YouTube, anime, or any show/movie you guys feel like watching. It’s the best past time amongst the three of you!

• They adore seeing you dance, by the way. It may or may not be a turn on for them, but I totally didn’t say that.

• Like Lawrence, they get giddy if you wear anything revealing. On the flip side, they enjoy how much effort you put into your outfits, and how you always come out looking as cute as you are. They like to show you off sometimes too! You’re so amazing, how could they not once in awhile?

• By the by, they think you’re perfect. You’re super sweet to them, and treat them like babies, so they treat you like a prince in return, much like you deserve. They’d turn the world upside down just for you.

[therapy-ghost]

Hello there! Thank you so much for letting me do a matchup exchange with you! now, 나 자신에 대해 말해줄게!

Fandoms: I’d like a romantic matchup for Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Resident Evil, Obey Me, Twisted Wonderland, Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Harry Potter, DC and Marvel (I just want male only for HB/HH please!!!)

My name is Joey but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Magtanggol too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im (w)asian (east european and west-southeast asian) im polish, arab/middle eastern, flipino, russian and scottish.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, I have a hard time taking everything seriously, when someone yells at me I’ll turn very cold and aggressive very fast.

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything they will call me before anyone else, I have a ugly laugh so guaranteed that someone else will laugh too, how much I love and care for animals if I see a stray around my house I will adopt it immediately, if I see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until I get the courage to ask them what’s wrong, I am very confrontational I will always stand up for what’s right no matter what situation it may be, how greedy I am for money but when it’s someone I love I will spend the world on them, i get excited for little things when someone buys me a redbull/monster or just strawberries my day will not be ruined after that, how touched I’ll be when someone helps me in anyway it makes me feel really grateful, it, i never take epilepsy for granted, i pay attention to little things like my stuffed animals I’ll kiss each one every time I go to bed for the night, if I know someone is having a hard mental day I’ll clean for them and get them ice cream and be patient ill, without a fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am a type of person who just wants people to be happy in life and live to the fullest, i don’t say I love you until I mean it, i celebrate with people I love, I am very observant if I see that someone wants something I will get it for them, it will be my mission if I see a stranger having a bad day I will compliment them in hopes of making their day shine through the dark clouds, how I say I hate kids but I will protect them with my life and I’m so gentle and sweet with them, i am never ashamed for what I love such as anime, even if I don’t like a song that someone shows me (which is impossible btw) I will be hyper while listening to it so they don’t feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft I become when I’m given any psychical affection, i love hugging and when someone really needs it I will hug them as long as they like, I love how hardworking I am, I’m not super duper emotional but a sad movie will never make me fail to let out tears, if I love you… you’ll be seen.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid producer, i cover vocaloid songs with my own voice, i can rap like MILLI, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO, YOASOBI & Ado too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals/stickers/music cds /puppetry & more, science/history, soccer/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, vkei, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, deserts.

I’m a ENTP, 4w3 and I’m a Aquarius ♒️

these are some of my top kins!!:  hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa) hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose), crona (soul eater), death the kid (soul eater), malleus draconia (twisted wonderland) and more....!

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it world be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, everytime I have a party there’s always dabke dancing and I take control of it all the time and it’s super fun!, i have two dogs named luna and gizmo both of them are super sweet and cuddly they will never hurt a soul, i play the electric/bass guitar, piano, cello and koto.

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot suck as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of harajuku fashion such as jiari kei, yamikawaii, decora kei(sometimes), cult party kei, but it’s mostly the ones I listed on top.

thanks for doing this with me, I hope you enjoy!!!

For Hazbin Hotel, I match you with Angel dust

Come on… come on! Tell me I’m wrong

you guys would be perfect; sarcastic, Angel would dig your vibe entirely, and you guys can do matching outfits

would happily help you with anything; like if you are overstimulated, he will help you, making art of any kind, gives you inspiration, filmmaking, he can give you plots for day (most will end up 18+… but some will end up fine)

Fat nugget is thy baby, and most likely sits in your lap while you are working

will gossip with you about everything, I tell you; he has tea for days.

For Helluva Boss, I match you with Fizzarolli

….he matches your energy… chaotic… loud… mischievous… plus you guys will have an even bigger Boyfriend(ASMODEUS!!!!)

will love to inspect your outfits and aesthetic and might steal a few things from you

he’s a preformer, dancing is what he does and he will do any kind with you.

please explain the big words for him, he gets really confused.

is your hype man, cheers you on for everything and will not stop.

For Resident Evil, I match you with Carlos Oliveira

bros confused with you at first, he is like… the heck is he wearing?

but eventually he warms up… might steal some rings or just unconsciously grab a bracelet and put it on for a weird reason

he enjoys watching what you make, wether it’s art or a film or a vocaloid cover

i feel like he also will like Boba after trying it, it’s the boba balls in specifics

will get a matching tattoo with you if you want to

For Obey me!, I match you with Asmodeus

likes to bring you snacks and share them with you as you two gossip about his brothers

professional pretty man here will help you style your clothing to suit everything you do

will love cosplaying with you so much

absolutely loves musicals, if you want to, he will belt out lines with you out randomly as you two listen to its sound track

wants you to teach him how to speak multiple languages, what’s to know how to communicate with all his fans all over the world

for twisted wonderland, I match you with Idia Shroud

boys rich… he will buy you anything(from the comfort of his bed)

he will go out once in a while with you if you really want to… but it won’t last long; so sometimes he will send Ortho with you

loves playing rythum games with you, gets very competitive about beating your score.

you get this man into the habit of cleaning his room since you enjoy cleaning; he make sure that everything is organized and perfect(cause that’s how he is)

For Genshin Impact, I match you with Arataki Itto

he is loud and energetic! Will run around with you everywhere.

he also loves being around his friends, sometimes, he will invite yours and his friends to join; but not all the time, cause he likes being with you as well.

got into crazy long documents because of you, and even if he is the first one to watch it… he still asked you question

he’s a Himbo with a very big heart for you

for Dc, I match you with Harley Quinn

girls partly nuts, but she’s loyal and very adventurous, so if you are willing to do something with her, she will do just about anything with you

love to dance anywhere with you; will go to massive parties and everyone will just stop and you guys are busting it down

super cuddly, likes being close to you when she can and will like to watch you work; she does act question give you suggestions if you don’t mind

please just keep her out of the kitchen if you are going to try and cook with her; or at least give her simple jobs she won’t burn the house down with

for Marvel, I match you with Matt Murdock

if you are in like trad goth or like any kind of fashion with rings and cool jewelry, he will end up playing with them while he holds your hand(which is rare because he is kinda busy with his whole daredevil matt Murdock switching)

buys you desserts and sweets cause he can and will, he gives small gifts as a way of saying ‘I love you’

will literally kill to hear that you are safe, he wants nothing to happen to you

its utterly confused at to what vocaloid is, like is extremely confused; almost like a dog hearing a recording of a dog barking and it’s just like “wtf?”

For Danganronpa, I matched you with Junko Enoshima(before despair)

gyaru, gyaru, gyaru! All day, loves the matching outfits; it makes a fashion statement!

loves gossiping with you; she is very trash talky about everyone minus you and will love specifically spilling the tea to you(she always makes sure it’s the juiciest most real tea ever)

she better be in some of those photos you take cause you will be missing an opportunity

you will always be the first to get her magazines and she will bring back some props from the sets she shot photos on

For Harry Potter, I match you with Luna Lovegood

the oblivious Ravenclaw is a major ‘head in the clouds’; she’s very easy going and likes doing anything really

gifts you small things like flowers and pins and pieces to add to out fits; would not mind having things in her hair(it’s the cottage core x goth for me)

gives you many strange things to think about in life and talks about anything you do in a very cryptic way

loves Vocaloid songs, doesn’t always understand the lyrics cause they end up sounding happy but they are mostly dark, but looks listening to you cover them

Thanks for doing this exchange with me!

[zushiisamess]

i dont know how to explain how OUT THERE I want to be this pride month.

So let's visiblize all those who don't get the rep, and wanna be loud and proud!

Calling all the: ASEXUALS, NON-BINARY PEEPS, AROMATICS, AGENDER PEEPS, TRANS PPL, PANSEXUALS AND PANFOMANTICS, POLYAMOROUS FOLKS, DEMIROMANTICS AND DEMISEXUALS, THOSE QUESTIONING, AND THOSE WHO DONT WANNA STICK ON A LABEL. We see you. You are valid, and deserve just as much show as the more well known sexualities.

if u want this is the full message bb. The rest are specific affirmations. v

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASEXUALS:

you don't owe anyone SHIT. You are perfect just the way the universe made you. Don't listen to anyone telling you you are a child, or are confused. You are so bright and loveable. whether you're out or not, proud or ashamed, I want you to know that you do not need fixing. And the hardest bit is acceptance. But the best bit is simply being you <3

NON-BINARY PEEPS:

"You were not made to conform" Marina is 100% RIGHT. you are the badasses of our world. And the very binary that our society had made to exist eludes you. I know it's hard. Running from who you are, and people attacking you just for being you. And I say, FORGET THAT. You are a person, one that deserves to be treated with love, and RESPECT. go out there and be your badass self. Conformity was shite anyways <3

AROMANTICS:

You are not broken. Love is yours. And you are a being that exudes brightness. You deserve a space where you are not pressured to make your love romantic. IT IS YOURS. So give it to yourself, your friends, family. I am sorry our society has been built on pillars that make everyone question you. And maybe even make you feel like you have to hate love or else everyone will assume you like it. But I say fuck that! You get to pick. YOU. SO GO LOOK IN THAT MIRROR, AND SAY "I love myself just as I am, and I am the wielder of my own sword." even our own community excludes you a lot. I am sorry. You have your space here because you made it, AND YOU DESERVE IT <3

AGENDER PEEPS:

It is okay to not be one of the predicted genders in this world. And I KNOW you know that. Take this as my aggressive positivity that you deserve more recognition. WE NEED YOUR INPUT, thank you for being made just the way you were meant to be made, and if people can't see that you are a wonderful individual who doesn't need their validation to feel good about themselves in their own body it's THEIR loss. Your parts don't define you, and you are allowed to take up space.

TRANS FOLKS:

HERE'S YOUR GENDER ARFIRMATION! you were made exactly as the universe intended you to be. They gave you an existence different from lots of other people don't face because they wanted you to live in a different way than cis people do. But that does not mean even for a second you were a mistake. I know right now a lot of hate is being thrown at you. people saying you are too young to know, or too old. You do NOT deserve it. You are the loveliest human being I have ever had the pleasure to know. Please know you are loved, and that your Identity does not need to be tucked away. Know that we need you here. YOU HAVE A PLACE IN OUR COMMUNITY, And we will stand with you as you face backlash. We will hold your hand and remind you, "You are powerful, and extremely loved by us and yourself." GO FLIP OFF THEM UNCULTUTED ASSHOLES AND LOVE YOURSELF <3

PANSEXUALS & PANROMANTICS:

You can love more than one gender. You are the very embodiment of love! You wave your hands in the sky and bask in the beautiful light that you created. YOU ARE NOT A CHEATER, OR A PLAYER. AND YOU ARE NOT BISEXUAL. The panphobia in this community is strong, and I am sorry you ever have to face it. You are perfect and loveable just the way you are. You see people's very souls. And you are a magical being that deserves to go in that sun and Scream "I KNOW WHO I AM AND IM AMAZING"

POLYAMOROUS FOLKS:

Why are you controversial. Fuck them, it is absolutely okay to be poly. Monogamous relationships have been expected for years. But that expectation is based on a feeling you don't have. I am sorry you have to hide, for fear of scaring other people away. know that you deserve the love you have. AND YOU DESERVE THE LOVE YOU WANT. Please don't listen to them. Actually. Just go tell them to fuck off <3

DEMIROMANTIC AND DEMISEXUAL PPL:

Hi, you are not picky, or a bitch. your way of loving is perfectly made. And you need to accept it on the level it is given. You are so beautiful and deserve your love. I know it's hard, to have people call you "straight passing" and "not real" YOU DONT NEED THEM. AND YOU DONT NEED THEIR CRAP! Just flick your hand around and give em' the middle finger. If you don't have a partner that's perfectly okay. And specifically for the demisexual people–You do not owe ANYONE sex. I know that you are a bad bitch so go realize it mkay? <3

UNLABELED:

Hi. You don't need a label on your shit so that people respect you. In this world we are pressured to be, "the pretty one" the "bisexual one" but life is a spectrum, and you will be accepted into our community regardless of whether or not you label yourself. I know lots of people say you are "QUEER BAITING" which makes me laugh at their sheer fucking stupidity. people cannot "bait" you. And i want you to know that you are welcome as an lgbtqia+ person whether you label or not. Be the spectrum you are so you can be true to yourself babe <3

QUESTIONING:

Hey. I know it can be hard to come to terms with your own identity sometimes. And I'm here to tell you to be open minded with yourself. You deserve a space a space in our community if you wish to take it. And you deserve to be able to question in peace. If you decide you are one of us that's okay, and if you decide you're not, we will STILL welcome you as an ally. I love you okay, so be patient with yourself and know no matter what, YOU ARE LOVED <3

if you want to personally add something, or an encouraging message please do!

And please rb so that this reaches people who might need to hear it this pride month.

[women-loving]

HELLO FRIENDS!

It’s no secret I haven’t been very active on this blog. I throw things in the queue and that’s all....

The main reason is I often get overwhelmed by negativity flung at this blog. It shocks me, it appalls me. I can’t believe how negativity gets spewed at me here of all places. I have other online presences where I post much more controversial content and speak in a much cruder, meaner tone. I made so much effort to sound as nice and non-offensive over here as possible. I used to make my girlfriend proof-read everything I would write here, desperately asking IS THIS NICE? IS THIS NON-OFFENSIVE?

Women’s sexuality is just that controversial to people. No matter what I do, no matter how much I try to soften myself, people are determined to hate. So many women before me have learned this lesson. I thought I had already learned it before! Surprise, I had to learn again.

But I see even in it’s state of low activity, this blog still means a lot to people. I get wonderful people who go through this blog liking tons and tons of posts. Now that touches my heart. I love all of you women who interact with this blog!

Our sexuality and feminism are near and dear subjects to women. I get tired of the hate, but I really do want to have a place for women to feel good about themselves.

I’m interested in trying again, I think.

I’ve been working on some art. I might try to get over my fear and post some of it. I’ve seen a lot of great lesbian artists. The woman who creates the webcomic Lease Bound (leasebound.com) and @nakimushiga-ru in particular inspire me. Not everyone is nice to them about their gorgeous artworks, but they post their work anyway. Their work resonates with so many women! I couldn’t thank them enough for everything they do. Their comics touch my soul!

Art about the febfem experience is rare, and it might mean something to some of all of you if I posted some of what I do. I’d love to see some other febfems post their art too. If you draw my attention to it, I will ALWAYS reblog your artwork!

I also still have dreams about making a febfem zine. There are so many wonderful magazines for lesbians, and magazines for bisexual women. I know us bisexual women who prioritize women often feel isolated in the larger bisexual community. How cool would it be to hold a zine about the febfem experience in your hands?

There’s so much negativity and I am a sensitive soul. Sometimes I need a break. There’s so much assumption of bad faith here on the internet. Even other febfem women have been hostile to some of the stuff I post here.

What I want is to see more of a positive community among us. My intentions are nothing but good.

So let’s try again! I’ll try to post more of my thoughts, and I’ll see if I can work up posting some of my art, and I’ll see if I can work myself up to take submissions for a febfem zine.

This time, though, I’m probably going to stress less about wording myself perfectly. People who are determined to misinterpret me and act hostile aren’t worth catering towards.

If I go quiet again, I’m sorry. I do my best in a world that can be way too aggressive to women who prioritize other women.

[existingispetty]

Hi hi! I just stumbled upon your blog and WOW I love your writing so much! It’s especially nice to see another BSD writer <3 thank you for sharing your writing with us! I was wondering if I could get a matchup for BSD, if it’s okay? :D

I’m a girl, 19, bisexual, outgoing and extroverted, and I love to make people laugh/smile! Generally, people call me kind, humorous, and easy to get along with. Though I’m also pretty ditzy and airheaded sometimes. More like all the time but ANYWAYS— I’m very excitable I’m a huge sucker for romance and am just a romantic person in general, I love being affectionate and receiving affection in return! I’m also easily flustered. I tend to need reassurance a lot and have trouble making decisions on my own. I don’t have time for many hobbies but I love baking, reading, writing, nail art, and makeup. I love kids and am currently in college for teaching :] I’m pretty tall and all-around big, so a partner that doesn’t mind that would be very ideal 😭 I don’t mind a shorter/smaller partner at all.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful day 💓

Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry it took me so long and I’m posting so late!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Your matchup is…. (Insert really really aggressive drumroll*)

Chūya Nakahara

Seeing you so positive fills him with a sort of joyful feeling.  Seeing someone work so hard just to make people like him is like stabbing the poor guy.  Chūya already admires you from afar after seeing how happy you make others and how kind you are.  After all Dazais teasing Chūya needs someone that makes wholesome jokes without hurting someone else’s feelings. Chūya would definitely laugh at your ditziness but he would enjoy the fact your not uncomfortable around him. 

Romance? Chūyas got you. You get flowers every week. Literal rose petal trails on the inside of your home. Chuuya loves receiving and giving affection. It makes him feel so wanted.  He’ll tease you on purpose just to see you get flustered, but he always makes sure he doesn’t pass any boundaries. Chūya is always self conscious himself so he’s constantly giving you reassurance to make sure you don’t become the same way. 

 Chūya will adapt his hobbies to anyone that’s close to him but always particularly admired those with the ability to read and write good books. Chūya would definitely allow you to due makeup on him. He just makes sure you don’t share this information with anyone else. Honestly chihuahua shortness makes him look like a kid…  sometimes he can be pretty childish but he tries not to give be ridiculously childish. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you so much for the ask! I wish you good luck in your studies! 

Have a good day/night! 

[bloodyspade0000]

30-day knb challenge: Day 1- Favorite Male character

↳ Haizaki Shougo

I am not justifying Haizaki's behaviour. I think he needs a tall glass of respect woman juice and therapy. This is just meant to explain why he is my favourite character and help you better understand him as a character. Do not send hate or take my words out of context. You will be reported, deleted and cancelled. Thank you and enjoy. :)

My favourite character is Haizaki Shougo *dodges tomatoes* a lot of people in the fandom hate this guy for many reasons. It's kind of funny how many people hate him and the amount of hate he gets just for existing. Like bruh; he's sixteen, leave him alone. 😂

His whole existence is just sad. He was literally created to be hated.

Like straight up, Tadatoshi Fujimaki even admitted that he hated Haizaki. Haizaki's sole purpose of existing is to make the Generation of Miracles look better even though they’re just as problematic as he. No one is fucking perfect and is about time people woke the fuck up and realized it. Your faves are problematic move the fuck on.

Yes, the Miracles are redeemable but so is Haizaki. Yet, unlike the Miracles, he does not get redeemable. No, he disappears and is never seen again. Like bitch, what the fuck!? if you’re gonna introduce a character to only have them disappear for a long time and either have them show up again or just never mention them again. Wasting the potential they had to be a very good character or not having them redeem themselves while the other characters who were just as fucking problematic get a fucking redemption arc because they’re fucking main characters!? What’s the point of that character even existing in the first place? What kind of bullshit is that? Just to have them exist to make the main characters look good? How the fuck does that make sense? Like where is my Haizaki redemption arc? Do I have to write it on my own? I will write it. I am writing one.

Haizaki is the only character I could relate to. Being second best, struggling to find somewhere to fit in and overshadowed and replaced by someone everyone thinks is better than you. It's fucking depressing, okay? You spend your whole life thinking you’re not good enough, and it hurts. I don't feel like going too deep into it because I don't owe you a detailed explanation of my trauma, okay?. So I'll save that for my fics where I self-project half of it onto Haizaki. It’s a coping mechanism, okay? Therapy is fucking expensive.

The anime ruined his whole character, got rid of his whole arc and shorted it down, and made him worse than he really is.

A post explaining how the anime did him dirty and goes more in-depth about his character

I am not trying to justify his actions, i.e. him manhandling Alex and beating Himura up. He does terrible shit. We all do lousy shit sometimes, but that doesn't make us bad people. Making mistakes is a part of being human, and we're supposed to hold people accountable for their actions and help them realize what they’re doing is wrong, allowing them to grow and change. Not condemn them and ostracize them, which leads to isolation and a lot of psychological trauma and self-hatred, and as someone who has dealt with—is still dealing with all three. It is not fun. It makes living painful. Highly unrecommended.

Haizaki does not have a positive role model in his life nor anybody he can turn to, everyone has already given up on him. Even Nijimura and Kuroko didn’t even try to help him, being more focused on the Miracles. (Yes, I know kuroko tried to stop him from throwing his basketball shoes away, but that doesn’t fucking count because after that Kuroko just gave up on Haiazki too). Haizaki has probably grown grew up knowing only violence and not a single ounce of kindness, turning him into the bitter and angry little boy he is.

Haizaki had so much potential. But instead of making him a great villain that potential was WASTED on fucking Kise.

Also, the Kaijo vs Seirin match in the winter cup was completely useless because Kise already got redeemed and he literally got no character development from it.

And Seirin was gonna fucking win anyways because duh thier the main characters. 🙄

Now some headcanons I think about a lot:

1. He gets abused. Some psychological behavioural consequences of child abuse are unhealthy sexual practices and juvenile delinquency, and Haizaki exhibits all three which are some external behaviours of most (NOT ALL) male abuse victims. Haizaki's a womanizer, aggressive, hostile and violent. Yet, he backs down when someone stronger than him comes around and puts him in his place i.e. Aomine and Nijimura.

a factsheet explaining the long term consequences of child abuse and neglect

How to help a friend dealing with family abuse or neglect

How to Handle Abuse

2. He's a victim. And when you're a victim, you either become angry and cynical with everything and everyone around you, swearing never to be a victim again and struggle with gaining back control of your life. Not wanting anyone to see you being vulnerable because being vulnerable makes you weak. Being weak makes you shatter. You always shatter like glass, cutting yourself every time you pick up broken pieces, watching as blood trickles through your fingers.

Your body is constantly on high alert. The default is flight or fight—survival to the fittest.

Or you bite your lip and keep your head down, bottling everything inside and looking for escapes or seeking validation. You want to be wanted and loved because you struggle with loving and accepting yourself. There's always a voice in the back of your head telling you, you're not good enough or that it's your fault. That everything is your fault. Self-hatred and self-doubt are your tormentors.

Or it's a combination between both—a constant struggle.

And I believe Haizaki portrays both from the way he acts and presents himself. Especially since his motto is literally "Survival of the fittest,” and he had once told Kuroko, " there are bad guys and then the really scary people," or something along those lines, which I believe he is talking from experience. You learn from your experiences. They either make you or break you.

3. He's touch-starved.

What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved?

4. He's bisexual and has a lot of internalized homophobia. I can just feel his internalized homophobia rolling off of him. Bruh, I just know cuz I am bisexual, and I have struggled with internalized homophobia and still sadly struggle with it cuz I grew up surrounded by homophobic people.

I still live with them. 😭

Also, we live in a society that thinks straight is the default.

What internalized homophobia is.

5. His sexual awakening was probably Aomine or Kise. Could be both 😂?

6. He cries himself to sleep every night.

7. He's observant and a great judge of character. It's a fact. This guy literally predicted the downfall of the Miracles. Straight up warned Kuroko too. Too bad Kuroko didn't listen to him.

8. He's hilarious. When he first appeared in the manga, he literally called Himura a loser, lol. XD

9. He's a closeted softie and a total tsundere.

10. doesn't know how to react to kindness and will think you're threatening him or will feel really awkward and uncomfortable but will cover it up with his scowl, or he'll have a breakdown.

11. needs a lot of reassurance and head pats

12. swears a lot. Has no filter.

13. His bother is in the yakuza or some high position of power, and he feels inferior to him. It also explains why Haizaki gets away with things because he would have been kicked out of school if his bother wasn't either-or. I'm talking about his bother being in the yakuza, lol. XD

14. He and Momoi dated for a while but broke up on a mutual understanding that thier relationship just didn't work out. They're best friends and hang out sometimes.

15. Haizaki's good with kids and just genuinely likes them. He would be a great father and try his best to raise his kids right.

16. He gets sick really easily

17. He's clingy

18. He has no friends, mainly because he doesn't want people to get close to him because he's afraid of getting hurt again. Also, everyone in knb hates him.

19. He watches cartoons cuz he was never allowed to watch them when he was a kid. His childhood is trash, okay?

20. He hides in the closet because that's where he feels safe the most—rhetorically and literally.

21. Sleep-deprived and only runs on caffeine and spite.

List of fics that portray Haizaki better than the anime:

Heavy is the head by extrastellar

Idle Hands by DarkWoods

Another Chance by regretting my username_ (777imou_offline367)

What Matters is that We're Together by StrawFairy

06:00:00 of Haizaki Shougo (4) by ReiClien

This Is Happening by SharkGirl

What is Love by voices_in_my_head

A completely uncalled catharsis by oddball

One-shots

intertwined, under a spell by kornevable

ԼƠƔƐ & ӇΛƬƐ by Arthuria_PenDragon

delirium by extrastellar

me with you by doublejoint

Turn My Camera On by wordsliketeeth

At Summer's End by doublejoint

Taste by Hibari1_san

I Can't Get Enough of You by HisDarkSecret

I don't care if it hurts by llowsywriter

Ashes by doublejoint

broken things by lowsywriter

Series:

Finally found each other by suzakukills

This Is Happening Universe by SharkGirl

DNA by flowerway

My WIPS:

Isn’t it lovely?

Broken Crown

Love me, Love me, Love me

Grey skies

Rabbit hole

A playlist of songs that I believe fit Haizaki

Kuroko’s basketball’s manga

In conclusion, You can hate Haizaki as much as you want. But just keep it to yourself. Haizaki is my baby and I will protect him with my life.

[takerfoxx]

Well, in honor of the Rebellion sequel FINALLY being announced, here’s something I was going to do today anyway! Here’s the second part of the crew of Walpurgis Nights watch The Rebellion Story, stretching from Madoka arriving at the school to Hitomi’s nightmare!

Note: I originally was going to write this as one big piece and release it all at once, but then I realized what a dumb idea that would be, so it’s going to get released in chunks as they’re finished.

Note the 2nd: Every time a prolonged conversation takes place, just assume that they’re pausing the movie to talk.

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

G: You know, I can’t get over Tavi having legs, or Fee having hair.

Op: It does look good, I gotta say. Must’ve been a bitch to keep it looking so fresh though.

Ch: And probably sets fewer low-hanging branches alight or set off fewer sprinklers.

Op: As far as you know. That style is smokin’

…

H: Seeing all those boys is…weird.

Ch: I know what you mean. I mean, I can picture what they look like, and I’ve seen recreations, but even still…

G: It is interesting to think about. I mean, here it’s perfectly normal for girls to get into relationships with other girls. But there girls like us would be a minority.

Op: Can’t imagine why. Now that I’m seeing them…not really getting the appeal. They don’t even have tits!

Ch: I guess you had to be there.

Ok: Hey, is it true that girls who liked other girls got picked on a lot?

Ca: Well, that’s an oversimplification of a serious problem, and I certainly never saw it happen. But then, I was a little…sheltered. And yes, in some places of the world, that does unfortunately happen. And worst.

G: Poor girls.

Ch: And guys. It happens to the gay guys too.

Op: I never got the gay thing. I mean, using the word as an insult. Like, why would that even be something to be ashamed of?

Ca: That’s…a really complicated question, and I’m not sure I’m really qualified to explain.

G: Well, I think they’re just being silly! I don’t see how anyone could see anything wrong with this!

=Gretchen leans over to give Homulilly a small kiss on the lips. Homulilly is more than happy to reciprocate=

Op: GAAAAY!

=Homulilly smacks Ophelia upside the head=

Ca: All of…that aside, I have to say, this is sort of nostalgic.

Ch: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?

Ca: Oh, relax. I mean, just this. The school. The girls and the boys. The uniforms. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be struck with an uncontrollable desire for penis.

Op: Though if you do, I know a girl who-

Ca: Thank you, Ophelia. Please don’t finish that thought.

…

Op: Ha. Still a rebel, even then.

Ca: You were. You definitely were. Even more than this version. At least this version of you is going to school.

Op: And Tavi’s the goody-goody, sneaking off…hold up.

Ok: What?

Op: Rewind it a bit.

Ch: Okay…?

Op: So, does this version of me and Oktavia…do we live together?

Ch: Huh?

H: What?

Op: How would she know about me slacking on my homework after school if she wasn’t there? Like, in the same house?

Ca: W-Well, friends visit after school, sometimes to work on homework…

Ok: No, I’m going with Ophelia. We were totally shacking up. I mean, look at us. Look how irritated I am with her. That is love.

Ca: Girls, I hate to burst your bubble, but nobody was actually dating anyone back then.

Op: Oh, come on! Look at us!

Ok: Yeah, I mean the only other explanation is…

=silence=

Op: Is what? What are you…Oh, my God.

G: What’s wrong?

=Ophelia and Oktavia both start to look very uncomfortable=

Op: Candy, tell us the honest truth here: are we sisters?

Ca: What?!

Ch: Oh my God, I’m not hearing this.

Op: If you hid it so we wouldn’t freak out, I understand, but we really need to know-

Ca: No! No, you are not sisters, and you did not live together in our timeline! You knew each other for little over a month when we died, and only really got along for about two weeks!

Op: Oh, thank the flames.

Ok: Whew.

Ca: Seriously, what’s wrong with you? I already told you your stories.

G: Yeah, and Hitomi’s known Oktavia and me for a very long time! I think she’d mention it if you two were related.

H: Plus you look nothing alike. At all.

Ok: Okay! Okay! It was a momentary slip of stupid! We panicked! Leave us alone.

H: Would you two have stopped dating if it turned out you were related?

=Ophelia and Oktavia exchange looks=

Op: Probably not.

Ok: Nope.

Ch: Great. Now that we’ve established yet again how degenerate you two are, can we please continue the movie?

…

G: Huh?

Ok: What’s her deal?

Ca: I…kind of remember her? She was a teacher, and I think I had her my first year. But it’s been so long that-

Op: This lady’s bugging.

Ch: Too many shots in her coffee.

Op: I don’t think that’s alcohol.

Ok: Look at the class. Look at us! We’re all as confused as…we are…huh.

Ch: Don’t think about it too hard.

Op: Okay, seriously! Who allowed this lady around children?

Ca: I can remember her being a little eccentric, but this is on a whole new level.

Ch: Well, as the first few minutes proved, this whole city’s totally drugged out of its mind.

G: Does she want the world to end?

Ok: You know, I’m kind of feeling her.

G: Eh?!

Ok: Okay, look! Way back in the day, before I had a reliable gig, I used to sub every now and then for the FIB’s music department, and let me tell you, after a couple days of trying to keep those sand crabs under control, the apocalypse wasn’t sounding too bad!

Ch: How bad does her class have to be for her to go that far off the deep end?

Ok: Well, me and Fee are in the class.

=Ophelia snickers=

G: Oh, I saw Hitomi!

H: Fantastic.

Ok: I thought you two were cool now.

H: Eh…

Ch: Hey, kids! It’s time to play, “Spot the important characters!”

Ca: Did our hair really stand out that much? I distinctly remember other kids having bright hair colors!

Ch: Well, if you have a bunch of characters that you’re only animating for one scene, then you gotta skimp on some of the details.

…

G: Oh, there you are, Lilly!

Ca: Okay, this part I remember as being fairly accurate.

H: Huh?

Ca: I mean the bit about you being a transfer student and having been in the hospital for a while.

H: Ah.

=pause=

H: My God, I look stupid.

G: Don’t say that! You look cute!

H: Did I really wear my hair like that?

Ca: Well, no. You wore it straight. And I don’t remember there being glasses.

…

Ca: This part…is different though.

G: Really? How so?

Ca: I didn’t know Homulilly before she showed up.

Op: Yeah, you talked about that before. She just sort of appeared out of nowhere one day?

Ca: Yes. And pretty much just…aggressively inserted herself into our group. I mean, she wasn’t rude about it, but…

H: I was a time-traveler trying to save the only person that had ever cared about me from a terrible fate and had already failed several times. No doubt I wanted to skip the pleasantries.

Ca: I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything negative.

H: No offense taken.

Ok: So basically, you had reloaded your save over and over and was skipping the cutscenes so you could get to work on the part you were having trouble on.

H: That is…a remarkably accurate way of putting it. At least I assume that was the reason. I don’t know anything other than I was told, and to be quite frank, I’m glad of it.

Op: Hear fuckin’ hear.

Ok: Cheers. Oh, uh, sorry, Candy.

Ca: Don’t worry about it.

…

Ok: Well, Candy’s really talking you up. Guess you were kind of an ass-kicker, Homulilly.

H: No, it’s like the other version of me said. I was probably in a support role.

Ch: What, with the time-stop thing?

H: Yes.

Ok: Support role, my scaly ass! That is like the most OP power ever! I mean, what could I do?

=pause=

Ok: Uh, that wasn’t a rhetorical question. Candy, what could I do?

Ca: Oh, uh. In addition to your sword, you could use boost pads to jump and heal very quickly.

Op: So a tank, basically.

Ok: See? Just take and give damage! Basic as hell! Now time-stop, that’s a power with some class!

Ch: Plus time-travel.

Ok: Yeah, that’s like the jackpot of unfair.

H: Didn’t do me any good. We all died anyway.

Op: We’re chilling in our expensive, two-story house in a really nice neighborhood watching all this on our expensive big-screen instead of getting our asses beat every night and worrying about homework. I’d say things worked out.

…

Op: GAAAAAAY!

Ca: Oh, come on. It’s just hand-holding.

Op: Look at that blush! Look at it!

H: She has a point. By all accounts I was already pretty infatuated with Gretchen.

=Gretchen blushes=

Ca: Fair enough. GAAAAAAY!

=group cracks up=

Op: Though, seriously. Were any of us straight?

Ca: Well, Oktavia did have that crush on that one boy that supposedly started the whole trouble, and I had a couple of crushes of my own.

Ok: Did you not see me earlier in the movie? I at the very least bisexual!

Op: Or Kyoko-sexual. Everyone’s gay for Kyoko! Even the boys are gay for Kyoko!

G: I don’t really know what that means.

Op: It means the boys find me incredibly attractive, but in a gay sort of way.

G: I still don’t know what that means!

=Oktavia leans over to whisper something in Gretchen’s ear. Gretchen’s eyes go wide=

G: Oooohhhh…

…

Ch: A month? So do the landscape shots just mean a time-skip?

Ok: Okay, we were joking just now, but this is pretty explicitly romantic.

H: As I said, it was at least on my end. Though I don’t understand why he has to be there.

Ca: He was always around, unfortunately. I’m mainly wondering why he’s being so quiet. Or catlike.

H: Why, was he talkative?

Ca: Very.

Op: Huh. Maybe that’s why we got Cheese. We were just used to the animal companion that wouldn’t shut the hell-

=Cheese starts screeching from the other room=

C: Pickinilly! Pickidelly! Picadely whore!

Ch: Great, now you’ve set him off.

=Cheese flies into the room and lands on Homulilly’s flower. She tries not to laugh as he prances about before spying the movie playing=

C: Rat bastard! Rat bastard! Rat bastard!

Op: Where’d he learn that? I didn’t teach him that.

C: Rat bastard! Rat bastard!

Ch: Oh, for the love of…Here, I’ll take him.

=Charlotte offers Cheese her arm, and takes him outside=

Op: I’ll say this: the bird might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he is smart.

Ok: …did anyone else see the freaking dirigibles flying around in the background, or just me?

….

Op: Shit, those are a lot of airships. Hey, Candy-

Ca: No, those are new also.

Op: Something’s seriously off about this timeline, then.

Ch: Who the hell is that?

G: Oh! It’s Hitomi!

H: Of course it is.

Ch: Huh. Guess she does get more than a cameo.

Op: Jesus Christ, does her entire family all sleep in the same bed? You could fit an entire studio apartment into that thing!

G: Well, we were apparently all pretty well off.

Op: You had a normal-sized twin with a bunch of stuffed animals. She’s captaining the HMS Spoiled Rotten in there.

G: She’s not spoiled!

Op: Look, there are like three queen-sized beds between the six of us. You could put them all together and they still wouldn’t be as big as that monstrosity!

Ch: Isn’t she like living with three other girls now?

G: So? That doesn’t mean anything. Lots of people have roommates.

H: They’re dating.

G: What? What are you talking about? That’s silly to just assume-

Ok: Gretch. C’mon. It’s not a secret.

G: B-But-

Ok: Poly relationships happen all the time.

G: I…how did you find out?

Ok: You do know that I talk to her too, right? And honestly, you’re making more of it than she is.

G: I guess so.

Op: She should’ve brought that bigass bed with her, then. Gotten some use out of it.

…

H: Who’s she calling?

Ok: Oh boy.

Op: Well, well, well! Violin-boy!

Ok: Fantastic. Hey! I sold my soul for you! Hope it was worth it!

Ch: Er, you okay?

Ok: Yeah, I’m fine. I am pretty curious though.

Op: Oh! Stood the fuck up!

Ch: Wow, he just shot his own rich girlfriend down to play with his stringy stick!

Ok: Violins are way more than just stringy sticks! But yeah, he did shoot her right down, didn’t he? Starting to think I dodged a bullet.

H: You literally died.

Ok: I know what I said.

Op: I guess Hitomi dodged the same bullet. Traded in one deadbeat for three smokin’ hot girlfriends. Can’t see how that’s not a win!

G: Uh, her family? Whom she still remembers?

Op: Er…yeah. That’s a good point.

…

Op: Oh, she mad.

Ca: Teenage relationships are just like that sometimes. You feel all these big emotions and-Huh.

Ch: And you throw up yarn all over your room? What’s going on here?

Ok: We’re back on that weird shit again, aren’t we?

Op: Does she not notice any of this?

Ok: She just got shot down by her own boyfriend. Cut her some slack.

Op: Did the bed just…Okay, it ate her. It ate her and threw up even more yarn.

Ca: This is all getting very…witch-like.

G: I thought only Puella Magi could become witches.

Ca: So did I. But clearly my knowledge is very obsolete.

Op: Goddamn, Homulilly! You butterfly-effected the universe something crazy!

H: How is this my fault?

Ch: Oh, there’s another freaky teddy-bear. At least we know how they’re made.

Ok: Teenaged angst?

Ch: Most terrifying force known to mankind.

[sakura-haruka]

Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after! 

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick)  he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone. 

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW. 

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me. 

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every  creators here I want my edits to get notes. 

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it. 

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular. 

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I  finally forgot about it. 

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then. 

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore. 

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally. 

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that. 

 In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke.  Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset  from the movie and no, just stop dude.  Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee  and in my head  it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work.  I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something. 

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one.  it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is. 

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow. 

[spyoikawa]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. Not sure if matchups are 100% open but I’ll slide this in anyway. May I please have a matchup for Haikyuu? My pronouns are She/They and I’m bisexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome things like slashers and murder documentaries. My aesthetic is mainly inspired by one of my favorite movies “The Crow”, if you need a reference. A friend of mine even likes to call me “dollar store vomitboyx” I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. I’m not good with overly sensitive or dramatic people at all, and I HATE kids. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has very strong morals and opinions. I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and become aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( GRLwood, MCR, P!ATD, MSI, Get Scared, sometimes Cavetown or Mother Mother ). I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being submissive unfortunately, and I suffer from autism, depression and anxiety. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - Coii

@k1llj0y-darl1ng thank you so much for this request, it give me a lot to work with! I'm really sorry to hear about the end though... somethings in life we can't change or are very hard to change, and that can make life rough. But I know you can get through it and I hope you feel better as soon as possible!

Rion's Flower Shop: Tulips

For your matchup, you get

Tendou Satori

To be completely honest, I did barely any research for this one. Something told me that you'd match well with tendou. And if you dont, I am so sorry! I will always rewrite it for you if you are unhappy with it!

♡ if you find it hard to start speaking with people, don't worry! Tendous got you! Although he might not immediately strike up a full conversion with you, hes good at making small talk

♡ he notices almost immediately how people seem scared of you, and how you are intimidated by the same people

♡ therefore he decides to befriend you, because he knows almost exactly how you feel

♡ best decision of his life. By far.

♡ he has a good sense of humor, and enjoys yours, and can always tell when your comments are jokes or not. He's always up for a good banter too, it helps him vocalize his thoughts and say silly things without having to worry about hurting someone's feelings

♡ although he can be a bit extra, I wouldn't call him dramatic or sensitive. Tendou has a pretty good grasp on himself and has a good deal of self control (he absolutely agrees with your opinions on kids though, I feel that he might be good with them, but that doesn't mean he likes them)

♡ although you like to bottle up your feelings and opinions you can always trust tendou to hold onto them for you. Of course he'll never push them out of you, but sometimes its nice to let it out and he'll always be there for you to listen and comfort

♡ speaking of comfort-

♡ hes a bit touch starved himself, so you can expect cuddle sessions while watching movies, reading, listening to music, drawing, etc.

♡ his arms are so long too- like have you seen him? He probably gives the best hugs with those

♡ but backtrack, tendou can also understand the unforgivingness and aggressiveness of yours. Of course its never fun (and he hates to imagine) being on the receiving end of that, but he still remembers his childhood bullies and holds similar feelings for them

♡ once again, doesn't want to receive that treatment and knows how its probably not the best, but he understands it and empathizes with you, which can be really helpful sometimes

♡ moving on again, once you open up more, he's well aware of your disorders and mental cases. He tries his best to take upmost care of you. Even if he doesn't understand some of them or know what it feels like, he just wants to be there for you

♡ if you wish for his help, he will help you cross any obstacles and will support you until you can walk on your own again

♡ anyways, stan tendou, amazing s/o, very supportive and loving

Once again, thank you for this request, and thank you for giving me the chance to chat with you! I really hope you're feeling better soon, and know that there's people out there who support you, at the very least I do!

And for clarification, as you had mentioned it, in case anyone else was wondering, this event will be open till the 5th of next month, I might keep it going longer if I feel like it or if people really want it!

[heyyouknowbts]

Shipping BTS members is cultural misunderstanding & projection

Long post, text post, the kind of post I don’t normally post post.

Just some thoughts I needed to get out. I don’t consider fanfics with ships as being relevant to this, because there is that inherent assumption on account of the word fiction, lol. And in before I use ships as part of my BTS as Florida man series; they’re never meant to be taken seriously. A lot of times I changed the gender from a headline or made it gender neutral for the memes.

I am really amazed in general about the stories people make up about BTS members and the narratives that get pushed in the fandom that have 0 basis in truth but someone took 2 crumbs from a grainy photo or some fake captions and tweeted it out and here we are.

The way BTS members have grown over the years to freely express physical affection for one another has been repeatedly misinterpreted by some fans as them being gay lovers, and it’s to the point where many elevate them as “gay icons”. That is problematic for lots of reasons, mainly that none of them are openly gay, the members themselves have expressed they do not appreciate being shipped, and it requires speculation on the sexuality/relationship status of public figures we don’t know at all.

Korean culture is extremely conservative, and while BTS members have been shown to be progressive in their perspectives on lgbt+ rights and issues by comparison, that is not the same as actually coming out as gay, nor should it be interpreted as a subtle nod/wink to hint at their sexuality. There is also a lot of, “Well, [Member] had this one gender-ambiguous comment about relationships so they MUST be gay or bisexual,” or, “[Member] wearing a rainbow omgggggg.” It’s pure projection/speculation that is being pushed and packaged into a narrative, and some fans are accepting that as truth.

This falls into that broader category of magical thinking that is incredibly common due to our inability to psychologically cope with the rapid developments in technology that have changed every aspect of our lives. We have easy access to so much information, more than we ever have in human history, and despite that people are constantly seeking out delusions, lies, and conspiracies. Those delusions and conspiracies are pushed out as truth, and people deeply internalize these beliefs and reject anything that contradicts them. There is a suspension of disbelief involved when people read and see things online that I won’t go into detail about because I don’t want to write all day, but it’s key for understanding why people can latch on and believe this stuff to be true. Ever wonder why suddenly there are so many people who believe the Earth is flat? Or why Trump was able to do what he did, despite most people hating him and him being completely incompetent and narcissistic? Anti-vaxxers? Covid deniers? Welcome to the age of magical thinking, we live in it. (Creepy side note, the Unabomber predicted people would start behaving this way and wrote about it in his 1995 manifesto.)

Anyway, back to the shipping and cultural misunderstandings. I feel it needs to be said that I am not Korean, and my experiences with Korean culture consist of several friendships from childhood through high school where I spent time in the homes of my Korean friends, several visits to Korea while my parents lived there (plus their experiences living there as told to me), and then of course my experiences with Korean popular culture (mainly dramas and K-pop). My perspective is still very much that of a western outsider, but as an outsider I think I see where the misunderstanding is for a lot of people.

Koreans (generally) are more affectionate in same-sex friendships. It is socially acceptable to touch your friends, to show physical affection towards your friends in public, and even to be naked around your friends (see public bath culture in Korea). Verbal expressions of affection between male friends, saying things like, “I love you,” and “I miss you” to a friend is not only socially acceptable, but common.

This is a stark contrast to western culture, where men physically touching other men in any way that isn’t assault/aggression is treated as a threat to masculinity and/or an assumption of homosexuality. Most men feel they cannot express affection towards their male friends, as they have been socially conditioned into believing it will emasculate them in some way. This is changing and many men are rejecting that social norm, but it’s glacial change. When people view BTS members’ affections for one another through the western, homophobic lens, it can be easy to misinterpret that these men are lovers, forbidden, hidden, or not. And whether any of them actually are or not is irrelevant. We don’t know, and we can’t know, and anything beyond that is projection.

There is also idol culture at play, where there is a false sense of intimacy created between fans & the artist. We feel like we know them better than we do; that’s purely by design. I appreciate the affection BTS members have for us as fans and what they are willing to share about themselves with us, but I don’t treat that as if I actually know them. However, that line can get really blurry, really fast for fans.

Idk I just get creeped out by some of the shipping content I see. I’m thinking of the really weird photoshopping that people do to pictures of the members, zooming in on “details” of them touching each other in photos and videos and building these creepy narratives around them, that kind of stuff bugs me.

All of this was inspired by this Reddit post about Taekook shipping conspiracies, and how there is this pocket of shippers who actively hate Jimin and try to push this weird, false narrative of him antagonizing and interfering in their relationship. I’ve seen stuff about Jimin getting unnecessary hate before, but this just really irritates me. If you made it this far into my babbling, thank you friend :]

[flowerflamestars]

10, 17, 23?

These are so fun, thank you!

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

This is controversial, so disclaimer: I like Morrigan. I am extremely happy to have queer lady rep on a personal level.

But all rep is not automatically good rep, and in this case, I think the real problem is bad writing. 

It is extremely clear in acomaf that sjm had one dynamic planned...and in between books canned it for another, but kept pieces...which further makes EVEN LESS SENSE. Feyre is super interested in how close Mor/Cas/Az are- she doesn’t really get what’s happening, but the focus on closeness is repeated, again and again and again. I’m going to come back to this, but basically, in no version is their history not Complex and not Something Feyre is Probably Getting Wrong for Assuming Straightness.

And then we have queer (and I’m using queer because the books don’t make it clear what her sexuality is- maybe she’s a lesbian. maybe she’s bi but only romantically attracted to women, we don’t know) Morrigan. And it takes what acomaf set up and makes it so much worse?

We go from Morrigan who forged a path and chose a family (a very queer trope, hey I wonder, that whole found family cannot also be straight???) to Morrigan, trapped between her two best friends by several entangled, terrible things. Azriel, who now scares her? Cassian, who she slept with at a cost that was ultimately MegaTrauma for both of them, and literal torture for her. Morrigan who maybe slept with someone she wasn’t even attracted to just for autonomy as a teen....and then definitely slept with Helion when she did not want to..to set a boundary with Az??

Can you hear me screaming?

Okay- so how do we fix this? How do we make this less of a goddamn weird choice? First of all, let’s take out the homophobia at all. High Fae are immortal- they have partners that aren’t the same species, why on earth would gender matter?

Cool, Morrigan is queer, but Morrigan didn’t live in fear of her best friends for five centuries. 

But what do we do with the closeness, the rabid protectiveness? High fae don’t care who you bang, but you know who would, if we have to stay in canon’s shitty lil world? Illyrians, who safeguard their bloodlines in horrific ways already.

Azriel hates Illyria so much in the books- so much more than Cassian or Rhysand. Why might that be? Why won’t he go back- hey, maybe Azriel is gay.

Feyre’s Straight Vision, and also the viewpoint of a twentyish woman whose never gotten to see..anything: is that, LOVE? since you a man are looking at Morrigan who is wearing a wild cool dress

Az, watching to make sure no one is bothering Morrigan in the crowd: Solidarity (maybe based on horrific trauma or something)

Let’s compound further. Canon does it for us- Rhysand tells Feyre that Cassian slept with Morrigan as a dumb teen because he was jealous of all the time she was spending with Az. Not- he was jealous over Morrigan, he was jealous of Morrigan. 

Bisexual Cassian babes- still figuring it out, but jealous about his hot best friend. And then, hello, terrible plot, totally traumatized by his first sexy exploits with a lady. 

This closes the final loop: if Morrigan doesn’t want Az or Cassian, why is she so aggressive with Nesta? Because, after all they’ve been through, they’re all obsessed with protecting each other. I do think a happier, freer Mor would be a lot less terrible about Nesta, but a little shovel-talk bullshit would remain.

Because they all found each other and chose each other and protect each other, because they know being who they are isn’t always safe. Queer solidarity. Not to mention that Nesta is the first woman it’s been clear Cassian is going to absolutely fall for! No one wants him to get hurt again.

In sum: canon queer Mor bad, the possibility that didn’t happen of queer IC good?

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Okay, I totally went this way for the first question, but I have a different answer!

Instead of the solstice party being the lowest point for Nesta, I would have made it the breaking point for Cassian.

He notices there’s no gift for her in the pile. Assumes kind of tiredly/sadly/bitterly that she isn’t coming- but then watches her show up. Sees the way no one even says hello to her, the resigned, sad face she makes when Elain hands her that glass of wine she didn’t ask for. Further watches Elain uncharacteristically throw back a drink, just to have to deal with peacekeeping.

And Cassian just feels sick. She’s lost so much weight- still beautiful, still so heartbreakingly Nesta, but like she’s going to shatter at any moment. And Cassian whose grieving, who lost so many of his people and in the end couldn’t protect her- Cassian cannot stand to watch that.

He makes it easy for her. Jokingly steals the glass of wine with some aside and drinks it himself. Doesn’t leave her alone. Doesn’t even look up to watch the self-made spectacle of Morrigan unwrapping lingerie- he’s too busy very quietly handing Nesta her single present, from him. She pockets it, wrapped, but Cassian will swear there’s something there to her nod, a softening for just a second.

When Nesta leaves- the second she can, the moment it’s over, Cassian finds her coat, goes with her. His presence stops Feyre from chasing after her. They don’t even talk. He just keeps up with her angry storming across town, lets her rage with her entire body because it’s like all the light suddenly returned- she’s hurt.

Nesta is hurt and he can help. Nesta is alone, and how could she not be? She doesn’t fit in this Court, doesn’t belong playing nice when Rhys hates her, when Feyre is happiest ignoring her- when Cassian himself feels like he’s outside looking in from the icy peaks of Illyria, out of place with the world feysand want now.

Walks her to her door, safe. Doesn’t press to go in, doesn’t overstep. Just tells her good night, tells her, happy solstice Nesta. Returns the next morning with breakfast he won’t mention goes uneaten, the day after and day after, until she’s waiting when he arrives and stomps down to the actually good bakery down the street with him. 

Cassian never really leaves her alone again.

But first, behind six locks, under the light of the moon, Nesta will sit in her bed and look at the precisely wrapped beautiful gift Cassian, of everyone- her whole family, her whole world- thought to give her. She won’t open it until she’s ready, but Nesta will keep it.

Nesta will never forget. 

23. Unpopular character you love? No one talks about him, but I can only imagine Varian is very, very cool dude. I cannot fathom anything but the complete lack of toxic masculinity that would be needed to look at a monstrous celestial being of a lady and be like, yep, I’m Just A Hot Sailor whose Kind of a Prince but I’ll love her quietly forever anyway.

Cresseida! Like, what, we’re supposed to dislike her for responded to Rhysand’s shitty flirting because she’s lonely because ya know, Amarantha killed the people she loves? Come on. Gimme that difficult woman rep.

He’s from ToG instead, but I love Lorcan. He’s just...such a dweeb. An emo little himbo mess. He’s so massively dumb about all his feelings unless they relate directly to Elide while she’s standing in front of him and even then, is getting them right at about 60% capacity unless it’s life or death and then he abruptly Gets It. Is willing to become Lord Lorcan Lochan for the rest of his days. Ruthless mess. Love it.

[drzenlin]

*Flings trashcan lid*

Okay, I’m back. For more ramblings. (How long did it take me to build up the courage to scream to the void on the cursed website? Far to long. I am neither proud nor taking any questions at this time.)

I would like to apologize now, in the beginnings. 

Now, werewolves. I’ve mentioned them a couple of times. I have also received someone speaking to me. That wasn’t a sibling. (Firstly, thank you. Secondly, why would you do that? I’m deranged. I’m three raccoons stacked on top of each other in a trench coat, wielding plastic cutlery. And thirdly, though I don’t think you’ll see this (I don’t know how tagging works..... nor do I wish to find out. I  can’t address people!) but this is not an attack or anything of the sort. Nor... is this an issue? A pet peeve of mine, perhaps. But nothing of concern.) 

So, werewolves. I like them. Werewolves are great. But it would seem there’s a little bit of a mix up and I suppose I shall bounce in mild irritation and squeak at those who will hear me. If I do not, who will? (It.... doesn’t matter that much. Not really.)

Anyway, I mentioned that I wanted to see more monster content in the mha fandom, namely focused around werewolves. (I love werewolves.) And someone mentioned, in the notes.... (How do you even do that? Notes are a concept beyond me. Witchcraft, really.) That they couldn’t search up werewolves without getting a lot of mha content on ao3. And, well, it’s not quite the same. 

See, a trope came out, probably within the last... Oh, five or six years or so? (Maybe longer. I’m not good with dates and times and if you add in events, it all becomes a swirling vortex of chaos in the cavity of my skull where a brain should sit.) That trope is called omegaverse or a/b/o. (I personally prefer calling it omegaverse. It’s a lot easier to type rather than slashes. My mastery of the keyboard is tenuous at best.) Anyway, this trope came out and hit the fandom spaces by storm, so much so that it began bleeding into original fiction. (I have no complaints about this. I enjoy omegaverse, quite a bit, in fact.) (Also, this is all information that you probably already know. I don’t know. I’m just rambling.) 

For those who may not be aware of what omegaverse is, it’s basically based off of an outdated, and disproven study, about how wolf packs operate and function. (It’s also where we get the ‘alpha male’ stereotype.) Basically, you have alphas, betas, and omegas. Alphas are usually aggressive and dominant, betas (which are never explored in any fanfiction, not really. There’s a few rare fanfics floating around that focuses on betas and I salute you.) Betas are pretty much everyone else, honestly, and omegas which are the... breeding side of the whole complex shebang? (This is a dumbed down version, for I am not very bright. If... you really want me to explain the whole thing? (Why would you? I’m three raccoons in a trench coat) I suppose you can ask and I’ll type something up from what I myself have seen and read and written.) I’ve seen it twisted and altered and changed up every once and awhile, which keeps it fresh and interesting. But people like omegaverse. There’s a lot of content made of it. 

So, what’s my point? My point is is often times people tag omegaverse content with werewolves but... it’s not the same. They can be combined, yes. But they’re still not the same trope. Werewolves are the big, shifting, wolf-y type monsters, like in Underworld or An American Werewolf In London. (I read a lot of werewolf paranormal romances, too. I enjoy this, yes. *Nods vigorously*) This is also slightly different than the Lon Chaney wolf-man. (I’m sorry, Teen Wolf. It’s not the same and it’s not nearly as cool. I understand werewolf costumes are expensive and hard to make look real without looking derpy but it’s still not the same.) Give me werewolves that actually shift into half wolf, man, beast, monsters. (I also accept larger than normal wolves. This is also good content.) But these are not exclusive tropes. You can have them together. You can have them apart. You can have aspects of one or the other mixed into the other. But they aren’t the same. And, when searching up the tag werewolf, you see a lot of omegaverse content without the... big.... hulking.... wolf men. (Or women. Or non-binary. I am bisexual and down for any werewolves, honestly.) A lot of times, you get the pretty, normal, human faces with werewolf attitude. I still argue that’s not the same. We don’t get that shift between two forms, the dichotomy of man versus the beast inside. (That dichotomy isn’t nearly as important as, like.... werewolves. I’m obvious and I know that. And, no, I am not taking questions at this time.) 

So, the content I’d like to see more of is of the werewolf trope. I wanna see Deku, itty bitty, sweet faced and kind hearted Deku, Shift into a large, intimidating werewolf. I want to see the reaction (Bakugou’s namely) of seeing this side of Deku that he hadn’t known before. (I like the well kept secret, “my childhood friend cannot know” aspect of this scenario. Sue me.) And this is probably just me being picky as all get out. But I can’t help it. We don’t get any of that sort of reveal in fandom spaces. And I’m a sucker for it in paranormal romances. 

Now, if anyone can help me find that trashcan lid, I’d much appreciate it. *Looks around, scratching head*

[chiefnooniensingh]

if it goes over their head - a buddie one-shot

A/n: based on @stiilesstilinski's gifset because it's just perfect.

Summary: Eddie and Buck are both bisexual disasters. Hen intervenes.

also on: ao3

Eddie was at the end of his patience. He didn’t know what the fuck he needed to do to make Buck see that he liked him. He’d been incredibly obvious about his advances, inviting him to family dinners, flirting near constantly at the firehouse, on calls, out on the town with Christopher… Either Buck was purposely ignoring his moves, or he was quite possibly the dumbest person alive.

Which, to be fair, was probably true.

They were between calls right now, having finally managed to eat a full meal prepared by Bobby, and everyone was hanging around, recovering from the excellent food, hoping against hope the next call was still far away. Buck was lounging on the couch in the TV area, and Eddie was staring at him. What did he have to do to make Buck see?

“Just go to him.” Eddie startled out of his reverie, seeing Hen standing next to him, looking exasperated. “I’m tired of watching you pine after him. Just tell him how you feel!”

“Easier said than done,” Eddie scoffed, scrubbing his face with a hand. “I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have, if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

Hen smiled sympathetically. “I get it, Diaz, but this…crush of yours in interfering with your work. You gotta deal with it,” she said, clapping him on the shoulder, “or people around here might deal with it for you.”

Eddie stared after her as she walked away, horror-struck. He was pretty sure ‘people’ mean ‘Hen and Chimney’ and if those two maniacs told Buck about his crush…hell no. Groaning under his breath, he got up and moved towards Buck, his stomach coiling.

“Hey, man,” Buck said, moving aside a little to make space for Eddie, who dropped onto the couch next to him. “That meal was the best thing I’ve ever had, I can’t believe how much I ate.”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, you were kind of a maniac.”

“Hey, you ate almost as much as I did!” Buck exclaimed, punching Eddie in the shoulder.

“’Almost’ being the operative word, Buckley,” Eddie teased, and Buck snorted. It was the cutest thing Eddie had ever heard and his heart did a little skip. Biting his lip for a second, he made a decision. “Hey, Buck, can I ask you for some advice?”

“Yeah, of course, man. What’s going on?” Buck said, sitting up and looking serious. Eddie smiled. Buck was always there for him, no matter what. It’s what had made him fall for Buck in the first place.

“So I’ve been having this serious crush on someone.” It was happening.

Buck’s face lit up, a salacious grin forming on his face. “No way, Eddie Diaz with a crush? That’s a goddamn first!”

Eddie tried hard not to blush, but it was a losing battle. “Shut up. Anyway. I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for, like, a year now. No response.” What the fuck are you doing? Eddie knew it was a coward’s approach, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“Wow,” Buck said, eyebrows raised and laughing a little, “they sound stupid.”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “They’re not. They’re really smart, smarter then they think they are. They’re just…really dense.”

Buck shook his head, letting out a puff of air. “Well…maybe you need to be more obvious?”

“More obvious?” Eddie said, letting out a laugh. He was pretty sure he’d done everything short of jumping Buck’s bones.

Buck pushed him away again but nodded. “Yes. I don’t know, like…‘hey, I love you!’.”

Eddie stared at Buck for a while. Sweet, clueless Buck. “Okay, I guess you’re right. Hey, Buck,” he said, looking straight into Buck’s eyes, his heart beating in his ears and his stomach coiling worse than ever, but he forced the words out anyway, “I love you.”  

Buck smiled broadly and clapped Eddie’s shoulder. “See! Just say that!”

Eddie didn’t know what he expected, but somehow this fit exactly in how this entire thing had been going so far. He stared at Buck for a second before dropping his head in his hand.  “Holy fucking shit,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Buck didn’t seem to notice his exasperation.

“If that flies over their head,” Buck continued, smiling like he’d just saved the freaking day, “then I’m sorry, Diaz, but they’re just too dumb for you.” Before Eddie could respond, Buck rose and clapped Eddie’s shoulder once more. “Lemme know how it goes, man!” Then he walked off.

Eddie could only stare after him. He went over the conversation in his head, wondering if he’d still ben unclear about his intentions or if Buck was just that dense. How much clearer did he need to be? He was about to run after Buck to just kiss his stupid mouth, when he noticed Hen standing a few feet away, the most hilarious look of disbelief on her face. He just shook his head at her. Groaning out load, she paced forward and grabbed Buck’s arm to stop him from leaving. “Buck,” she said, her teeth gritting, “do me a favour, and go over that conversation in your head.”

“What?”

“Just…fucking do it, you absolute fucking idiot,” Hen said, in her most dejected and simultaneously most dangerous voice.

Buck sighed and stayed still for a while. Hen and Eddie both watched him, Hen with impatience and Eddie with bated breath. His eyes flicked to Hen every once in a while, whose eyeroll was so aggressive she looked in danger of getting her eyes permanently stuck that way.

Out of nowhere, Buck spun around and stared at Eddie. “What?!” he squeaked.

“There it is,” Hen sighed with relief. “You’re welcome!” And with that, she left quickly, leaving Eddie and Buck staring at each other awkwardly.

Eddie stood up, nerves coursing through his entire body. His stomach felt like it was about to send the food back up. “Buck…” he began, his voice quavering.

But Buck shook his head, holding up a hand. “Wait, what?” he repeated, still staring at Eddie like he didn’t really understand what he was seeing.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, unsure of what else there was to say. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for a year. Thanks for the advice, by the way.”

Buck stared at him for a moment longer, which felt like an eternity to Eddie, who felt increasingly uncomfortable and stupid. “Oh my god,” Buck breathed, “I am so fucking stupid.”

“No, Buck…” But Buck moved quickly, closing the distance between them in two big strides. Before Eddie could say anything else, Buck grabbed Eddie’s face and crashed their lips together. Eddie froze for a full second, before melting into the kiss completely. The entire world faded away, with Buck still in full focus, and Eddie wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close and deepening the kiss.

This is what he had wanted for a full year, and it felt absolutely surreal to be kissing Evan Buckley, at the fire house, in front of all their friends and colleagues. But it also felt absolutely right, like his body had been made to fit exactly against Buck’s, like he was meant to kiss Buck. It was their first kiss, and it was messy and sloppy, and yes, their teeth also clacked together more often than was strictly necessary (or comfortable), but neither of them really minded.

Buck was warm, and his hands were steady on Eddie’s cheeks and it felt like home.

After what felt like an hour, but in reality probably was only a minute or two, the two of them broke apart, and immediately the world returned to Eddie. There were wolf whistles and cheers going up all around the fire house, and Eddie noticed Chimney slapping money into Hen’s hand with a half-amused look, and Bobby receiving some money from Athena. Eddie made mental note to ask which bet it was that they won.

Right now, he couldn’t really care. He stared up at the man in his arms, whose face was completely flushed and whose lips were red. Eddie could only assume he looked similarly wrecked. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Buck said, and Eddie burst into laughter. “Really! I think I realized it when I saw you and Chris reunited after that tsunami. That what I was feeling for you went way beyond friendship.”

“Wow,” Eddie said, remembering the day better than he would like. He remembered that woman telling him Chris had been looking for Buck. He remembered seeing Buck, wet, dirty, bleeding, collapsing with relief, having just put everything he had into finding his son…he’d realized how much he cared about Buck right there, as well. “That’s when I knew as well.”

“I guess we’re both idiots,” Buck said, laughing hard.

Eddie chuckled, “Well, you more than me.”

“You think I haven’t been flirting? Jesus, Eddie, we really are both idiots.”

“Yes, you are. But you made me some serious cash!” Hen said, still collecting money from their colleagues.

Eddie and Buck turned to look at their friends, each and every one of them smiling at them with joy. It seemed all of them had known before either of them. Eddie looked up at Buck, who was smiling softly. “Hey,” he said, catching Buck’s attention. “Wanna go out tonight?”

Buck’s smile widened, looking like a kid who just got offered candy. “Very much so.”

“After our shift. I’ve got the perfect spot.”

“Interesting, I’m in.” Buck leaned in and captured Eddie’s lips in a kiss again. The two of them sank into each other, sparking another round of wolf whistles, which died down when they did not break apart after a while. Eddie could kiss Buck endlessly, but they were at work, so in the end Bobby broke them up with a smile and a gentle reminder that this was a workplace.

Eddie walked on air for the rest of the day.

[citialiin]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

[kageyuji]

Can I get a matchup for Supernatural, Sherlock, Friends, Harry Potter, Twilight, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Phantom of the Opera, Percy Jackson, Pirates of the Caribbean, Newsies, MHA, Haikyuu, and Mystic Messenger please? Thanks, sorry about all the fandoms, way more than 8 lol. You only have to do the ones that you can figure out a ship for. I am 5'7, shoulder length hair dyed red, slightly overweight, and I am bisexual. I love to read and write stories. 1/3 sorry about all the fandoms again lol

This took an unreasonable amount of time and I’m so sorry for that! My dad’s been stressed with work, so I was helping him. Also I took you up on your offer and didn’t do all of them, because I couldn’t really choose, sorry about that.

For Supernatural, I ship you with Sam!

Sam was/is a theatre nerd and you can’t tell me any different

He’s not one to sing a whole lot, but he would definitely sing the other person’s part if you started singing a duet

Sam is the quieter of the Winchesters, or of any one is Supernatural really, and would usually rather spend his nights cuddling with you than our drinking with Dean.

He also understands your anxiety. He doesn’t have it bad, but he did have a bit of social anxiety during college.

Not to mention that when he was in the mental hospital, he was introduced to several people with mental disorders and he had a bit of a better understanding for them

Sam likes to stand up for others, not so much himself. But he’d back you up whenever someone tries to pick a fight with you.

He understand if you wanted out of the situation, but if you were feeling a bit more confident than usual, he wouldn’t hesitate to help you out.

Sam is a big teddy bear, he’d never hurt you. He does understand if you don’t want to move too fast, though.

He’d let you set the pace in the relationship, you’d probably have to initiate any kind of affection before he realizes it’s okay for him to do it.

For Sherlock, I ship you with John!

He runs a popular blog, and therefore loves reading and writing

He’d love to read whatever you’ve written, and if you’d be okay with it he’d be fine giving you little tips.

Also, he’d probably ask to be a beta reader or an editor for you, he just wants to help.

On the other side of things, he’d actually die if you read anything he’s written

He knows it’s our there for the world to read, but he doesn’t think you would take time out of your day to read it.

He’s another person I feel is pretty big on mental health and understands you anxiety; after the army and developing PTSD he could never imaging being one of those people who “get over it”

Actually, he was taught breathing exercises to deal with his PTSD and so he does them with you whenever he sees you getting anxious.

He’s very aware of it, always watching you when you’re in crowds to make sure you’re okay

Romance is also a bit of a touchy thing for him, so he always ask before he does anything, even if it’s as simple as holding your hard.

The last thing he wants to do is pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable.

For Twilight, I ship you with Alice!

Such a sweet person oh my goddd

She’s so understanding of...everything really

Alice is really good at picking up on whenever you’re anxious, it’s a skill she’s developed over the years

She’s definitely the type of person to outwardly speak up against any type of aggression — be it that someone is a different race, trans, queer, or disabled — she’s straight up decking all the boomers.

She tries to get you to fight your own battles. Not because she doesn’t care, but because she knows you’d like to defend yourself. That being said, if it gets to the point that you’re backing away, she’ll stand for you.

She is perfectly fine taking it slow with you

She’s a vampire, she has the rest of eternity, so she’s in no rush

Alice is very into communication, she doesn’t want to do anything that you aren’t comfortable with.

So she ask you before doing anything, asking if it’s okay for her to even hold your hand or hug you

Plus, the Cullen’s are pretty closed off. They don’t really talk to people outside of themselves, so you don’t have to worry about meeting a lot of people close to her. Just her family.

For Phantom of the Opera, I ship you with Erik/The Phantom!

Singing? Singing

He doesn’t care how good or bad you sound initially, all you’ve got to do is be nice to him and he’s yours

But he will definitely try and give you lessons, he knows even good singers can get better at their craft

Erik doesn’t have friends. You could count Madame Giry, I suppose. But you really don’t have to worry about Erik wanting you to go with him to parties and such. He hates that type of thing anyway, too many people.

He understands your anxieties, and he’s always there to help you. He can be a little overbearing, always asking if you’re okay, if there was a particular reason you’re upset.

When he finds out you were abused and cheated on in the past, his initial reaction is...anger. Not at you, never at you, but at your ex.

Then he realized that’s not what you need and he goes all soft again.

He takes it slow wether you told him you wanted to or not, he doesn’t want to scare you off.

Plus, he’s new to relationships too and doesn’t want to move too fast, he just doesn’t know what a reasonable pace is.

For Newsies, I ship you with Crutchie!

I mean he loves to sing

Crutchie is such a sweet guy, honestly

He knows about your anxiety, and he’s really comforting

He’ll tell you dumb jokes and make stupid puns to calm you down

He hates mean people too. He’s learn to accept his leg over the years, but he still knows that people with disabilities or other minorities are often attacked for things they can’t help.

Crutchie doesn’t like conflict all that much

Sure, he had to be a little aggressive during the strike, but any other time he’d rather settle things in a more civil way

So he’d be all for calming the situation down if things get too violent

Crutchie has never even thought he had a chance to get a significant other, and so any sort of affection had him forgetting how to function properly

Therefore he has no idea how much affection is too much or too little

So he lets you take the reins. You have to make the first moves for most things.

For MHA, I ship you with Uraraka!

Todoroki was an honorable mention

Another sweetheart

She has anxiety as well, maybe not as bad as you do, but it’s there

So she helps whenever you get anxious, probably makes a dumb joke or two or three

She would love to read your writing! She’d probably ask to edit for you too, but she’s not that great at it lmao

She does to love read with you though and could definitely get behind library or book dates.

She doesn’t have that big of a friend group, it’s mainly just Midoriya and Iida, both of which are pretty chill people

She doesn’t mind if you want to take things slow or fast in the relationship. Just as long as you are not uncomfortable, then she’s perfectly fine

She actually really likes singing, and as much as she would love to just sit and listen to your voice for hours on end, she can’t help but want to do a Disney duet with you.

For Haikyuu, I ship you with Tsukishima!

Kenma was an honorable mention

Tsukki is pretty reserved, meaning that he wouldn’t necessarily drag you to all of his games.

He gets that you may feel uncomfortable, so it actually worries him. He’d be excited if you did come, but he’s not upset if you don’t.

Speaking of reserved, Yamaguchi is the only person he really talks to outside of volleyball, and therefore doesn’t have a crowd of friends you need to worry about meeting

Also he has that same glare, you know the one I’m talking about.

Tsukishima isn’t big on PDA, so he’s fine taking things slowly. Again, you’ll probably have to initiate some of “the firsts” just because he doesn’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable or make feel pressured by him asking.

Tsukishima also has a hate reserved specifically for rude people, and that goes for any kind

He usually isn’t one for reading, but he likes reading your writing

He just thinks that it’s very personal and that you you can learn a lot about a person just by someone’s writing

For Mystic Messenger, I ship you with Yoosung!

Jumin was an honorable mention

He loves music so much! His favorite isn’t classical music, though he doesn’t dislike it either

However, I feel like he also has a small admiration for Broadway musicals, his favorite is probably Wicked.

He’d love to sing with you, he’s a sucker for domestic life and I feel like his favor thing is singing and dancing in the kitchen while covered in cake batter

Yoosung is just a ball of anxiety and bad sleeping habits

So he understands when you get scared in crowds or groups of people, he watches out for it.

When you do start to panic, he make sure he’s there to give your hand an encouraging squeeze and try and get you out of the situation.

He is very much a lover and not a fighter, but if someone tried to pick a fight with you he’s definitely throwing hands

He knows you won’t if it gets too violent, so he likes to protect you however he can

It’s pretty hard for him to open up, too

So he would be pretty slow to open up too, he doesn’t want to rush you and so he fears that if he moves too fast you’ll leave him.