#anyways . I’m so emo

[oreolesbian]

anyway, I’ll keep saying until I can say it no more, but I love how hayden christensen just keeps getting to prove over and over that he was always a good anakin casting. I love that he gets to be as visually iconic as his other co-stars from the franchise. I love that he can see fans lose their absolute mind with cheer and applause at his mere presence in a SW project. All when he was once the scapegoat and punching bag of why people hated the prequel trilogy. I just love it all.

[bsideheart]

what kind of fuckign crack did they put in bulls in the bronx. wbat the fuck

[clownsuu]

Mini apology doodle since I didn’t post yesterday 😔🥄🥄

[volaenii]

decided to redraw an old unfinished drawing of mine from 2023, took me 3 days with lots of breaks to finish it

2023 vs. 2024 close up

[kikithefox231]

YALL. LISTEN. THEYRE THE SAME.

AND SO COMPELLING!!!

[i-just-really-like-renga]

Okay so rewatching sk8 again because I miss them desperately and I accidentally paused and

Jesus fucking Christ.

Reki, my dude, it is episode TWO. You have known Langa for like. A DAY. Good lord

[sadgoosehours]

@forsty ‘s tags on this post caught my attention and inspired my longest edit yet, by a long shot! Time to go cry in a corner over this whole family.

[slytherinshua]

I think one of the reasons the astronaut continues to be so nostalgic and sentimental to me is because its release marked the close of my bts era— not in a sad sudden way, but like a gentle taper out to an end.

I never biased jin, yet his vocals were the start, middle, and end to everything I associate with bts and my time with them as a group. epiphany was the first bts song I ever heard in 2018, even though I wouldn’t stan them for 3 more years. moon is my favourite bts song to this day. the astronaut ending my era with them as my ults is a picture perfect close.

I think jin is under-appreciated as an artist and a vocalist. because of his personality, we mostly love him for his jokes, or because of his visuals, he’s known for his face. yet when he sings songs like abyss, epiphany, the astronaut, moon, or awake, his voice holds a million emotions and feelings in the melody. there is something so timelessly beautiful about his voice, and for the first time since I stopped following bts closely, I’m really so excited for his solo album. I hope he can continue to shine as an artist and a vocalist into his late 30’s and 40’s. his voice is one that will never get old and I certainly will never get tired of hearing him sing.

deep in my bts era, I always used to debate whether my favourite bts vocalist was jin or jungkook. and it was always funny to me why jin made it to such a high ranking when jungkook was my bias. jin didn’t even wreck me like other members, and at the time, I enjoyed his solos, but they weren’t in the ranking to become my favourite timeless songs like they are now that I’ve stepped away.

although I’m not active in the fandom anymore and have disconnected from content and the members, the music still stays, their voices still stay, always reminding me how bts changed my life in such a dramatic way. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how different I would be if I hadn’t found them. it’s not just about kpop, fanfic or being a stan— finding them was the first time I ever found something by myself, for myself and enjoyed it independently without the influence of anyone else. and the start of that was with jin and his voice and I’ll never forget how much he changed my life.

[catzgam3rz]

Dunno how to articulate quite how deep the dsmp hyperfixation has clung these years but boy am I having emotions tonight about it!

[rystiel]

hate his twink ass

[realitymuse]

as someone who has spent their entire life on the sidelines, trapped and limited by my own body and mind, shifting is such a beautiful thing to stumble across.

for so long i have lived solely in my dreams, in written words and movies and video games—in other worlds. i’d do my best to ignore this reality but there was always the physical pain, the gnawing grief, the awful thoughts that would sink my mood lower and lower.

at night i would spin intricate tales, homemade movies taking placing entirely in my head with detailed storylines and intriguing characters that all included me. of course they were picture-less, i have aphantasia and if there is something like that for senses then i think i have that too. but i would look forward to bedtime because it meant i could return to whatever plot i was currently on and perform it in my mind in the limited but still enjoyable way i could.

i’ve always been a writer—ever since i learnt how to hold a pencil (or perhaps crayon) and scribble onto paper (sometimes walls), i’ve been writing myself into fantastical worlds full of dragons and fairies and medieval castles. in some stories i would be exploring space, in others i would simply be wandering around in ancient egypt. and whilst i wanted to be a writer in this life i also wanted to be everything.

shifting is like a gift to my 8 year old self—the little girl who had no idea how bad this reality could be—because with shifting i can be anything and everything i’ve ever wanted to be. from florist to baker, ancient language specialist onboard a research spaceship to a hecking superhero. shifting grants me an eternity to explore every possibility and that is the reason that i will keep on this journey no matter what. i am a shifter. i always have been. i always will be.

[squipedmew]

sometimes you have bad mental health days and then sometimes you decide to rewatch Voltron: Legendary Defenders

[daincrediblegg]

God I had such a good art moment back in 2019. Bring me back to her please

[plutonianplaything2]

🐈‍⬛

[evereverest2]

):

[jemmo]

today on everything i love and that is perfect about utsukushii kare (bc i just binged rewatched both seasons), i find it so fantastic and perfect how they, not even advertently, show how hira and kiyoi grow out of their high school personas, bc that is so a thing that happens and is something i find hardly any media really navigates as well as i see it here. high school is very much a rigid place, and in it you play your part; the popular kid, the class clown, the nerd and so on, but outside of high school, after high school, when you grow up and enter the wider role, there aren’t those roles to fulfil. you have to be you, and to do that, you have to figure out who that ‘you’ is, whether thats something you’ve always known or had inside and just kept buried or hidden, or thats something you’ve yet to discover and have to find, and then go on to actually be that, and shed all of that behaviour you learned or picked up or hid behind in high school. 

idk if this is a universal thing, but it is something that especially speaks to me, being more of the hira, the loner, unpopular, shy kid. that role offers a lot of safety in high school, which is weird to say bc its not a place you aspire to be nor is it particularly enjoyable, but in a way it spares you of further ridicule. if you just fill that role and don’t do anything that acts outside of it, you can get by just fine, then high school is done and you move on. thats what utsukushii kare shows so well. the way hira is treated in high school is never really that outright bullying you stereotypically think of, which i love bc thats not really what high school is actually like. really, it is more of what you see in the show. this lower level stuff that you kind of just go along with even if it is objectively mean. the name calling is not loud insults, its those pet nicknames that follow you and remind you of the things you dont like about yourself, the things you’re embarrassed about. its the established hierarchy that you are at the bottom of that signals to you everyday that you are less important than everyone else. and hira goes along with it partly bc of kiyoi but also bc its safe and, dare i say, comfortable, bc hira has not just not known different, but doesnt wish to either, which is how he settles into his dynamic with kiyoi. 

on the other hand, kiyoi’s place as the popular kid is something he is more visibly uncomfortable with, at least to me, and you see it even before you learn about what his real dreams and interests are. the way he acts with the people that surround him, he is never exactly like that. his treatment of hira especially is kinder while still hiding behind that film of treating him as the group’s lacky, but when people treat hira unkindly, he steps in, and i like to think this is from a place of him just being a good person and not just a defensiveness of hira bc of however he feels. its weird bc he does want to be admired so his place shouldn’t feel so wrong, but i think its from a place of wanting to be admired for his merit, for who he is, not out of any control or fear. he wants to be level with people when it comes to reality, and praised for the things he can do well, his abilities, not just some abject superiority others think he possesses. and i cant tell you how much i love this character for this whole ‘cool guy who’s expected to be so cool and not care about anything but actually really wants to do well at stuff and has a passion for acting and dancing and performance and just wants to be loved’. like that is one of my favourite character tropes ever and utsukushii kare does it with kiyoi to absolute damn perfection, which is only added to when you think about the queerness underlying it, kiyoi acting as this stereotypical straight popular high school boy who’s too cool for everyone but really not only is he not straight and have these complicated feelings for a boy, but he also loves performance and theatre and i love that those two things aren’t separate and it makes so much sense. there is just this young queer boy who wants to be liked hiding behind this veneer of coolness and popularity and its fabulous. 

so when they do get out of high school, we get to see kiyoi embrace that side of him that he always kept hidden, not just doing what he loves, but actively pursuing it, trying hard, putting in the effort and dedication and i adore that. it lends itself so well to the mantra of ‘trying your best is the coolest thing you can do’ which i wholeheartedly believe. not caring isn’t cool. caring is cool. trying your best is cool. and not only does it make kiyoi more admirable as a character, but it feels like kiyoi is a lot more comfortable and welcoming of the admiration he gets, bc now it feels deserved, and its funny that that manifests through him being humble and playing himself down bc thats the very human thing to do when you’re praised, but it also parallels the way hira downplays and degrades himself which is actually, in a twisted way, him thinking highly of himself, which we see discussed in the last ep of season 2. 

bc when hira leaves high school, he still clings to that role, even though there’s no one around him maintaining it. for him to be lowly, there has to be someone around him thats above him, but there isn’t now, which is why he clings to the dynamic he has with kiyoi above him bc it carries over and maintains his safe space. and what we see in season 2 is kiyoi removing that, asking hira to not raise him up just so he can put himself down, he wants to be level. and with kiyoi trying to take away that safety, that leaves hira having to figure out what his place actually is in the world, a world he’s always removed himself from. that’s why his discussion with noguchi is so important, bc kiyoi has struggled to be direct and put it into words with hira, either bc he struggles to say those things or doesn’t want to be so harsh with hira, but noguchi has no issue with holding back, nor feels any need to be gentle. he tells hira flat out you are selfish and ignorant to a fault and think so highly of yourself that you think you are the only person in this world. and thats what hira needs, a real challenge, someone who sees his mindset and twists it to show all the negatives of it. its never what hira intended, but its the message he sends to others; by belittling yourself, you give other people’s words and thoughts no weight or importance, thinking you know better. by removing people from your photos, by hiding behind the camera, you are not escaping the world, you are saying the world is only for you. there is only one plane to exist on, and by trying to be there alone, you deny everyone else of their existence. the option is not to not participate, its to participate alone. and what i’d hope continues in the story (idk what the movie is about at all) is a journey for hira to find how he can be involved at the same level as everyone else, to step out of the safety of self inflicted isolation and join in, feel comfortable finally taking up space and find who he is outside of high school.