#anyway.. when will I finally bring justice to my perfect vampire children and stop getting sidetracked by other shit while trying to finish

[the-bat-collector]

SUPERBAT Rec List!! AU NO POWERS ish PART 2

No Powers or No Capes (There are some minor exceptions but I think this still applies)

Soo it’s become harder to find these fics and I kept postponing making this list just in case I found moreeeee. After some time convincing myself I decided that If I find more I’ll just make a part 3.

Here is the link to Part 1 Post

So without further ado. Here you go!

Storge by ichikonohakko @ichikonohakko

G - 3,310

Storge (storgē, Greek: στοργή) is liking someone through the fondness of familiarity, family members or people who relate in familiar ways that have otherwise found themselves bonded by chance. An example is the natural love and affection of a parent for their child.

Or the story of how Clark Kent meets the Wayne family children.

So this was in my mark for later and I read it as I was making this list and it’s very cute and adorable and highly recommend it! 

don't you know an apparition is a cheap date by knoxoursavior  @clqrkkent

E - 39,385

Clark has been able to see ghosts since he was eight, just a few days before his Pa died in his sleep. Years later, after having moved to the city with Martha to pursue writing, Clark meets Bruce Wayne, who takes an interest in his work and Clark in particular. Not long after they meet, Bruce asks Clark to marry him and Clark moves into a mansion that has more ghosts than it has people.

So I couldn’t find more AUs for this list, I was about to quit looking and yesterday I ran into this one and it gave me so much hope that there might be more out there (part 3?maybe?) I think of this as Ghost Whisperer Clark 

Stories for the Loved and Lost by MatchaMochi @renaimori 

M - 9,681

The first chapter leads Clark to another, and another. He turns the pages, eating the words up hungrily and feeling them, pored over the story as if he was reading someone’s personal diary. And the thing was, he knows it, he knows this story. He remembers flashes of memory that aren’t his, thrown in yesterday’s weird dream or last night’s nightmare.

or in which Bruce is an author and Clark is his fanboy.

I WILL read every single SOULMATE AU FIC I CAN FIND CAUSE I’D DIE FOR THIS TROPE. This is beautifully written <3 <3

Ghastly Murders in the East End by dippkip @dippkip

T - 38,227

London, 1888. A vicious killer known as Jack the Ripper has begun haunting the district of Whitechapel. In light of Scotland Yard’s inability to solve the case, intrepid reporter Clark Kent has made it his mission to track down this fiend and bring them to justice, though he may find himself more deeply involved in the affair than he bargained for.

Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne, a seemingly irresponsible and eccentric duke, remains largely unconcerned about these atrocities. The Batman, however, has taken special interest, and spends his nights relentlessly hunting the new murderer at large. The paths of these men will converge as the body count begins to rise, and their investigations and growing affections will cement their bond, intertwining their fates with that of the most notorious murderer in all of England.

OKaaaay this is one of the exceptions, Bruce is Batman but it’s a different century and Clark is powerless, I think it compensates. Usually I prefer when they’re both “capeless” but this was such a fun read. 

As You Grow by dnawhite76 & Prubbs @prubbs​ 

M - 59,946

After the death of his wife and children, Clark returns to the United States after spending years abroad to reconnect with his friends and their families. And while trying to gather what little remains of his old life and possibly move forward in his grief, he ends up falling into old habits with his first love and best friend, Bruce Wayne.

A story about grief and acceptance.

So I want to point out how good this fic is. I hate sad and this story has a lot of grief and I felt it was very grounded on its depictions of feelings. I tend to avoid this type of fics buuuuut this was so good. I couldn’t stop reading even if the grief got to me. It’s very wholesome and does have a satisfying ending. 

A good start by BlueAlmond @discretocincel​

G - 1,253  

Clark loves being an elementary school teacher, but it breaks his heart to see any of his students hurting. So, when he notices Jason waiting over forty minutes every day for someone to pick him up, he decides to have a word with his father.

Absolutely love Professor Trope!!! Sooo you could argue this is ficlet but doesn't feel like one to me so I’m not putting it in the ficlet section. 

Engraved In Our Souls by Nixie_DeAngel @nixie-deangel​

T - 9,004

It started with pain, with warm blood and bold, black letters. How was he to know it'd lead to a pair of gorgeous eyes, shimmering with the promise of life long happiness and love?

Or, after years of waiting, Bruce finds his soulmate in the least likely of places.

Little cute soulmate AU<3  AS I SAID I WILL READ EVERY SINGLE SOULMATE AU OUT THERE CAUSE I LOVE THEM

Ghosts by ren_makoto 

T -3,067

Wayne Manor is haunted. Clark doesn't mind.

Here is another of the exceptions, this is neither No Powers/No Capes, but they’re not relevant to the plot or we don’t see them using them (I don’t think they are mentioned but its implied). The Fic’s whole focus is on the ghosts! and absolutely loved it I LOVE REN MAKOTO FICS

There is Little Danger by ren_makoto

T - 5,327

"It's tradition," he said, one inch from Clark's mouth. "Yes," Clark said. "Tradition."

Or, where Bruce and Clark are trapped in an elevator

another Ren Makoto cause I can’t help myself

Semi-Permanent Couplings by ren_makoto

E - 10,463

"So, Bruce, how do you feel about one-night stands?"

Ren Makoto <3 <3 <3 This fic contains Adultery soo Read the Author’s Notes

Hubris by ren_makoto

M - 20,197

"This is turning into a routine," Bruce said breathlessly. "What can I do for you, Clark?" "Please," Clark said hoarsely. "I just want to get some sleep."

I really like the writing on this fic, this is a 100% NO CAPES, Clark does have powers and he’s starting to process them. Ren Makoto stole my heart with this one.

Not so Perfect Afterall by tekowrites

E - 6,966

AU: High school, Senior year. Clark thinks his life is nearly, if not already perfect. Then he overhears a conversation that changes absolutely everything. Bruce is there to pick up the pieces.

Red, White and Blue by melmel_79

E - 3,639

He works for the Secret Service, and it's best that no one knows he is in a relationship with the president. At least he hoped no one would know...

He grips the envelope tighter and knocks on the door to the Oval Office.

This was a mistake.

Late Night Feelings by the_butler @the-butler-fanstuff

M - 9,283

It was a little past one in the morning, the phone the only light in his room. He glared at it, then threw it to his side on the bed, not caring to see where it landed. A few seconds after, he patted all along the side to find it and looked at it again. He pulled up the messaging app, scrolled down, and then sighed. He exited the app and threw the phone on the bed again. He repeated this several times until some minutes later the phone chimed and he hurriedly sat up and felt for it on his bed. He opened the messaging app again and finally breathed a sigh of relief when he read the reply he’d been waiting for the whole night.

“Be there in 30 mins.”

I LOVE CLARK HERE, GOOD FOR YOU. He’s such a good adult looking out for himself! self-loving and self-respecting Clark here everybody.

it took me by surprise (I know you felt it, too) by jessequicksters @jessequicksters​

G - 1,124​

In which Clark and Bruce fall in love in between study sessions, track races, grocery shopping at Whole Foods and romantic student dinner dates, burnt lasagna and all.  

FLUFF, could argue this is a ficlet buuuuut dont care, it goes here.

Towards You by tekowrites

E - 22,607

AU where Clark is a new transfer student at an elite high school, and he encounters Bruce Wayne. Clark doesn't fit in, not anywhere it seems, and his crush on the star of the football team? Only serves to shows how much. Jealous girlfriends, misunderstandings, hormones and lurking trouble are just some of the challenges he's going to face.

I LOVE THIS , basically this fic made want to make a PART 2, just had to find 15+ other fics to add to the list. 

Read the tags, this does contain some heavy topics towards the end

The Game (of Love) by KaizokuHime @kaizokunohime

E -12,288

In WayneTech VR Augmented Gaming, a guild of superheroes has arisen who volunteer to help police that reality. One of these superheroes, Superman, has had a crush on his fellow member, Batman, for many years, but thus far has had little success on asking him out, even as fellow guildmembers. How will their relationship progress? And how intimate can they truly become without knowing the other's identity offline?

A Game You Can't Win gave me hunger for gaming fics, then I found this one and I WANT MORE GAMING FICS

Wham Bam Shang-A-Lang by ShowMeAHero @andillwriteyouatragedy

E - 8,354

Clark Kent is a professor at the same university as Bruce Wayne. Not that it matters, because Bruce doesn't really speak with his co-workers - they're there to work with, not befriend. That is, until Clark and Bruce are assigned to teach a class together in the fall, and start spending more and more time together, and Bruce starts to realize, maybe, he just might need a friend - and maybe, he just might need something else, something Clark-specific.

YES YES PROFESSOR TROPE. They are the best together!

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SORTA KINDA MAYBE FITS THE CATEGORY

The Gift by tmelange

E - 5,564

University student Clark Kent is on a field trip to Gotham City where he meets a creature of the night.

VAMPIRE AU, soooo Clark has powers but he is not superman so NO CAPES on his part. Bruce is a Vampire and I’m not really sure if he’s Batman but he’s some sort of vigilante. This felt very AU and sorta? fit the category, so I decided to add it anyways but it’s worth to mention this is an outlier on this list.

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SPECIAL MENTION CAUSE I HAVENT READ THIS ONE BUT IT WAS RECOMMEND TO ME by @just-add-butter​

Spoils of War by littlechinesedoll @cumdumpsterbrucie

“If I go with you as a spoil of this pointless war, will you leave?” Bruce stands his ground, terrified and shaking, but he keeps eye contact with the warlord.

“Excuse me?” Kal must be hearing things.

“If I go with you, if I serve you, will you let my people live? Will you let my brother live?”

This is not finished buuuut it’s a Medieval AU. I just need to get myself in the right mindset to read an unfinished fic but will get to it! love what llittlechinesedoll writes.

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FICLETS 

This section was accidental. I like my fics long and rarely read ficlets but here are a few that came across my way when I forgot to set word count filters.

Snapping the Chats by littlechinesedoll @cumdumpsterbrucie

G - 2,278

Clark tries to use the Snapchat filters on Bruce.

General Check-up by littlechinesedoll @cumdumpsterbrucie

T - 906

One where Brucie is getting a check-up from Thomas Elliot and he touches Bruce more cause Clark is obviously jealous

Subway Providence by the butler @the-butler-fanstuff

G - 400

A short drabble about art I did of Clark and Bruce waiting for the train on a subway platform.

So my first list was me coming across and realizing I love this kind of AUs and this second list is me carefully looking for them! Even tho my 1st list has some of my favorites, I hold this one closer to my heart. Hope you Enjoy it. 

Also if you know of any that I haven’t included on these lists, please I beg you send them my way <3 

[inspector-montoya-fox]

let’s talk about the themes of the Sly games

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus (2002):

Paris: this might not be the game’s main theme but it’s the theme that is most omnipresent. Paris is the glue that connects everything together. it immediately has such an impact on the player, even though it’s just the tutorial and the gang’s base of operations. Sly being a thief but also living in Paris just sounds so right, like it’s the way it should be. it fits. 

The Thievius Raccoonus: this is the main theme and what provides the game with its premise. it’s the book that needs to be glued back together and its importance is highlighted throughout. almost every level has a page included so we’re constantly reminded of its significance. the skills we earn by retrieving the main ancestors’ pages elevate the gameplay and force the player to respect it. other than that it’s a clever way to spotlight the ancestors and establish that Sly does come from a long line of thieves.

Family: this doesn’t need much explaining but i’ll do it anyway. we start off with Sly’s parents getting killed and him landing at an orphanage where he creates a new family for himself with Bentley and Murray. you’ve got 3 different types of family: (A) Connor and Sly’s mom getting murdered and Sly’s aim to avenge them, (B) Bentley and Murray being true brothers when Sly was left with no one (i’m tearing up), and (C) the ancestors, which are explored more in-depth through the theme of The Thievius Raccoonus. Family as a theme explores Sly’s motivations and drive, even though Connor’s role is minor, especially in comparison to his role in Sly 3

Morality: Sly 1 is rudimental in its gameplay. it was a little game with a big promise at the time it was released, hoping to serve Sony and the Playstation 2 with a worthy mascot and an even worthier title. but right off the bat the player is bombarded with a shit-ton of lore about the world Sly lives in and how he operates. we immediately find out he’s an antihero, an honourable thief who has a code of conduct. this comes into stark contrast with the game’s villains who are basically filthy crooks. thief takes down thieves and the theme of Morality is SP’s attempt to make the player distinguish between good criminal and bad criminal. Morality as a theme is spotlighted immensely in Cold Heart of Hate when Sly saves Carmelita because he truly is the good guy, but also when it’s revealed that what’s been keeping Clockwerk alive all these years is the lack of morals and the hatred. the game establishes Morality as the outlining theme of the entire series, placing Sly on a pedestal because he’s honourable. morals trump hatred, so fuck off Clockwerk (even though ‘perfection has no age’ might be one of the coolest lines in the game lol)

Sly 2: Band of Thieves (2004):

Paris: this is the theme from the first game but on steroids. like make it x10. when you take the plot of Sly 2 and boil down to its core, it turns out to be a full-on race against time to save Paris. it provides both a nod to the first game and a sense of closure at the end: the game begins in Paris and ends in Paris. It’s both a setting and a catalyst, and it is absolutely brilliant in the game. you spend most of the game globetrotting, away from home but as soon as you find out ClockLa is on her way to unleash her psychotic brain waves and turn the city evil, you find yourself at the edge of your seat, caring more about Paris than anything else. it’s omnipresent and powerful and i don’t know why but i love it.

Spice: if you wanna be my lover. here’s an amazing replacement for drug trafficking as a plot device in a children’s game: spice. the spice trail is what pushes the narrative forward but also gives the gang something to face before the pieces fall into place and the larger scale of things is revealed. before ClockLa steals the show, spice is the main antagonist in the game. it brings the villains together, leads the gang from one location to another, provides some memorable missions and obstacles (Spice in the Sky and a raged, spice-infused Murray). but it’s not to say that it fades away in the long-run. Spice is actually the subtle thread that connects the episodes together but also is significant to the final master plan of hypnotising Paris.

Deception: obvious one here. Neyla pretending to be an ally is the major example. we’ve got the Contessa pretending to be loyal to Interpol, we’ve got Arpeggio seemingly being the mastermind behind everything (which he kinda was until he wasn’t), we’ve got the whole evil plot reveal on the spice, we’ve got Neyla ripping off Arpeggio on her journey to become the most well-written villain in video-game history. lots going on here. overall great theme. on a wider scale (and i’ve touched on this before in some recent posts) we’ve got SP deceiving the player into thinking the plot is all laid out at Rajan’s ball until it all turns to shit and nothing goes as expected. Appearance V Reality is a sub-theme that pops up when Bentley fights Jean Bison and Bison constantly underestimates Bentley until the turtle fucking blows his lights out. it’s not an instance of Deception per se, but it’s worth mentioning

The Past: Clockwerk’s return makes this a theme instead of a motif. before ‘saving Paris’ becomes the main objective, it’s Sly’s determination to prevent Clockwerk’s revamping that kicks off the game’s events. the events of Sly 1 play a pivotal role here as they lay the groundwork for the plot of Sly 2. it’s not just Sly 2: The Sequel. with its own set of characters and an intricate story it becomes its very own thing. but Clockwerk is the link that connects everything.

Morality: this one sneaks up on you in the game’s second half and just bites you right in the ass when you least expect it. Contessa, who until her boss-fight seems to be just another selfish spider bitch witch, manifests into this advocate for Sly’s inner demons through simple dialogue. fucking brilliant. ‘You’re an ignorant child playing dress-up in his father’s legacy’ (in my opinion, the best line in the entire series) kicks it all off. and then the theme becomes obviously present throughout. it explores the fine line that Sly walks between robin hood and scumbag thief, it shows how the villains are down-right criminals who want to benefit from their crimes, it cracks black and white into a million pieces because in a single game there are like a million layers of good and evil: Barkley at the very top as the authoritarian white, Carmelita as a sympathetic cop who tries to grasp onto her own code of ethics while occasionally running with the thieves, Sly and the gang as antiheroes, the villains as... villains, and Neyla as the embodiment of satan. it’s a scale and the game spotlights this. i had a different bullet point for Justice but i think it falls under Morality. basically, Carmelita’s story arc in Sly 2 deals with blurring her views a bit and re-defining justice

Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves (2005):

Ancestry (Cooper Vault): this is what the game is all about, or at least the premise. after stitching the cottdamn book back together by the end of the first game, Sly 2 doesn’t give any attention to the Thievius Raccoonus. in fact, Sly 2 exists on a completely different plane, using its amazing plot to elevate itself away from the lore of the first game. ancestry is rarely mentioned. flashforward to Sly 3, where SP takes us back to the mythos for a new caper involving a new reveal: the Cooper Vault. what we thought we knew about the ancestors is thrown out the window to pave the way for this mystical place where the Coopers buried their secrets and their loot. i’d like to point out that the theme of Ancestry is great and all but SP does a shitty job in spreading it throughout the game. whilst recruiting the new gang members we often forget why we’re doing so and it’s not until the last episode of the game that we get the fulfilment of the theme’s promise. it’s also worth mentioning that the theme pops up in A Cold Alliance when Tsao is comparing himself to Sly and he speaks of his ancestors but we somehow get the feeling that his ancestors were all colossal jerks like him and had absolutely 0 honour

Family: this is not the same as Ancestry. the new gang members could have very well been distant with each other if not for the adventures that made them bond. Bentley’s fascination with the Guru, Murray being the Guru’s apprentice, Bentley falling for Penelope, Penelope and Panda King helping Murray with the van, Panda King and Sly working alongside each other to kill vampire mantises and the Crusher. these are all moments that helped sell the ‘group of thieves’ aspect of the game. but Family also explores the bond of the original trio and how, even when they face their differences (Bentley and Murray living in the shadow of Sly), they can still make it through, even stronger than before. other references here might include: Panda King and Jing King, Dimitri and the Lousteau diving legacy, Dr. M and McSweeney being Conner’s “sidekicks”

Honour: this replaces the theme of Morality from the previous two games as the situations the characters face allude to honour (doing what’s right for the greater good) rather than morality (black and white, good vs evil). what i mean by that is SP making an effort to distinguish why Sly is a different thief and ultimately an antihero. this was sorta explored in the previous games by having Sly put an end to the villains’ various operations but the overall plot overshadowed those instances. Sly 3 on the other hand fully explores the theme of Honour by including the word in the title and having the gang save the day in every episode. stopping harm to the environment (polluting the Venice canals, destroying the Australian outback), helping Penelope come to terms with her inner demons by encouraging her to drop the facade of the Black Baron, saving Jing King from forced marriage, etc. the theme also ties into the theme of Redemption (below) but what i’d really like to point out is that Carmelita gets in on it as well. i can’t think of a more honourable moment than when she finally, after 3 games, puts the petty cop bullshit aside and comes to Kaine Island with her squad to save Sly from Dr. M. she makes Sly’s battle her own and doesn’t give up, showing up at the very end to save him from Dr. M’s horrific boss-fight (ugh)

Deception: although not as major as in Sly 2, i’ve said this time and time again: Flight of Fancy perfectly encapsulates the theme of Deception. Penelope dressing up as the Black Baron is not the only instance of deception. you’ve got Bentley and Penelope blowing their online avatars out of proportion, you’ve got Dimitri who was initially a villain finally turning sides, you’ve got an episode card full of sunshine and bright blue and gold fonts for a hub that’s all gloomy rainclouds. beyond Flight of Fancy, i can think of a few more instances: some Shakespearian shenanigans when Carmelita disguises herself as Jing King, or when the gang doesn’t reveal their Dead Men Tell No Tales plan to the player and we’re left thinking that Sly is going to get eaten by sharks

Redemption (Choices): speaks for itself, really. this one ties in with Honour and is a sub-theme, maybe a motif. we’ve got Murray’s desire to redeem himself for feeling guilty over Bentley’s accident. we’ve got Dimitri and the Panda King joining the gang after previously being villains in the series, and eventually redeeming themselves through helping with the heist. we’ve got Penelope redeeming herself as the Black Baron by joining the gang. i also named it Choices because these characters chose to redeem themselves. Choices are all over the game, whether its the lack of free will or the sacrifice characters make: Jing King isn’t in a position to choose whether or not she gets married during her capture, Sly sacrifices his cane at the very beginning of the game to save Bentley and then jumps in front of Dr. M’s shot to save Carmelita (!!!)

Closure: or the lack of, smh. SP’s trilogy comes to a close and therefore the theme has to exist even if the game doesn’t provide the player with mass satisfaction. Sly finally gets together with Carmelita, Bentley finally gets over his fear and self-doubt and lives the good life (with Penelope), Murray kicks off his racing career, and we get happy-ever-afters for the rest of the gang as well

[a-tale-of-six]

∅ (for all the kids or just one of them. I'm not picky)

"Okay, here is my honest opinion, which I'm going to chop down into 3 categories, to which I feel makes any person good or bad to a degree. First of all, the very first category:

How is their portrayal of a person without context? How do they stack up through first impressions? To that I say that they do seem like a good person with an approach to help other people, trying to see if she can help in anyway, most times finding to relate with others that sometimes remind her of herself. Depending on her form, you'll think she's human or monster, but she's a full Monster, being that of a Vampire. She's got a gentle voice, and a sense of morality, that one can clearly see, which makes her seem like this amazing person with no flaws, and that's the problem, it did not start that way, and it's not the complete case, which brings me to the next category, which is:

How is their portrayal on the inside? To that.."

"...It's not great. If you know her as much as somebody like me in the span of a year, you'd find some things about her that cling to the suspicion that she was not the greatest person, especially growing up. You'd find out she used to be a monarch as a teen. Good right? No, because she wasn't exactly with the greatest mind during that phase, as to mess with someone's feelings, she destroyed an entire civilization, to which if anyone knew she was a monster, she'd be the very definition humans fear them to be in that sense. On top of that, she's a full blooded Vampire, and in order to keep her Monster population up, and that full bloods are hard to come by, you wouldn't believe she's forced to marry someone, whom she doesn't love, one of the reasons she's ended up where she is. Then there's the fact, she tends to have the tendency to have "blood" urges, but keeps it under control. She has, as learned fr brother, a side of her I've never seen, which was she loses her sense of self and goes.. seemingly berserk, but when her emotions are in the way, like when she saw my brother, she went back to normal.. it's an odd Aura I feel about her. It's almost to say that her very soul is split between her sense of Justice, and a side of her that discards the notion of such things, and only acts on emotion, anger. However, while the bad outweighs the good, is that to say, she is a horrible person? I think not. the final category is:

How good of a person are they to you, overall?"

"I think that they are amazing. Why? Because, that all happened, in the past, which is what it's supposed to mean. It happened so long ago, that you shouldn't let the actions of that person outweigh the things they do now. They are always anxious, trying to find a reason to keep going, and it's people like me that fully believe that she should. She may not like herself for who she is most of the time, but I love her, in a platonic kind of way. She's a good sister figure, and always has a great sense of maturity when it comes to dealing with children and adults. And if you gain her trust, you will know that she cares about you, unconditionally, but she doubts herself when she feels she doesn't deserve you. But the thing is, everyone deserves something, be it good or bad. And to me, I believe she deserves to have people in her life that love her the way she is. She's down to earth, strong, independent, and is passionate about what she believes in, and to that, it is safe to say, that I will always view her highly as one of my most dear friends that I've ever come to share an experience with in this second life of mine. Just remember, that you don't have to be perfect to be a good person, and that somewhere, there's always someone waiting for you, reaching out their hand for you.

They want you to be there with them, and you being gone, would only make things worse, Rin. So stop fighting yourself, and start going forward. You have all the time in the world to get better, and all it takes are small steps and the people around you to get you ahead of the worries. There is no light without a darkness, but they can easily balance each other into a safe peace of mind. So whatever you're feeling, I do hope that this helps.

You're a person of no equal, which means to be yourself, and nothing else. So Rin, cheer up and make the most out of you. No one can conquer you, except for you."

[howtohero]

#081 List of Handy Excuses (C)

It’s time for another installment of our highly popular list of handy excuses to use when you want to get out of doing something so you can go be a superhero (or like take a nap I guess, these excuses can be whipped out at any time, that’s how good they are) sorted in alphabetical order by job. (I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this forever, the last one of these was over 40 posts ago. Many of you didn’t even exist 40 posts ago!)

A B D E

Cable Guy

I have to go now, I have an appointment to fix someone’s cable (bonus points if you actually did have an appointment that you’re ditching to fight crime. The more real appointments you miss the more legitimate of a cable guy you are anyway {git-r-done!}).

Caddie

Oh sorry sir looks like you were a little off the mark, I’ll go find your ball for you (and then disappear to go fight crime).

Cage Dancer

I saw on the news that a flash-mob had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cage Fighter

I saw on the news that a superhero fight had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cameraman

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes for my news agency.

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes, not for my news agency, but to sell online.

Camp Counselor

All right kids, tonight’s exciting night activity is a game called “everybody closes their eyes until you stop hearing the sounds of a giant space crab being beaten up.”

Campaign Manager

I need to go find out who those superheroes and villains are voting for. If any of those heroes are voting for my guy or if any of those space slugs are voting for the other guy it could make for a killer ad.

Candlemaker

I’m going to go begin an apprenticeship at the Safed Candle Factory so that I can truly become a master at my craft.

Honestly man, maybe you should give up the superhero business. It’s beginning to affect your candlemaking work. You’re overworked, overtired and overextending yourself. You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

Cantor

Allow me to dazzle these supervillains with the power of song!

Carnie

Beazye eazi’m leazeaveazing

Carpenter

I have to go star in an all carpenter version of Aladdin with musical numbers that include “Magic Carpent Ride” and “Joist Like Me”

Cartoonist

If I don’t provide my legions of fans four panels of comicy goodness they’ll riot

I Ii II I_

I just heard somebody refer to a cartoonist as somebody who makes animated cartoon and I must go correct them!

Cashier

Hey that masked bad guy just walked out of this store without paying for any of the snacks he wanted for his evil road trip, if I don’t stop him that money is going to come out of my paycheck and since he took three (3) bags of chips that’s the whole thing plus!

Catcher

I’m going to go stand behind the bad guy and call out plays for the superheroes.

I saw that there was a superhero wearing a domino-mask so I’m going to go and lend him my catcher’s mask because even that would do a better job of concealing his identity.

Catfisherman

I was catfishing this guy and it turned out that he wasn’t a regular guy but really he was a supervillain trying to catfish me and also he’s robbing a bank now so I’m going to go beat him up.

Cellist

I have to go hit the gym to build the muscle mass I need to actually lift my instrument of choice.

Remember FAO Schwarz? The toy store? With the giant piano on the floor? Yeah so I’ve been thinking a lot about that piano and… Do you think my cello would be like an in-scale violin with that piano? And I know they closed down a few years ago but that piano has to be somewhere right? Yeah so I’m going to go on an epic quest to go find it so I can see what my cello looks like next to it. (And then instead you go smack around a vampire or whatever with your cello, like a hero.)

CEO

I’m off to fly my golden helicopter to the golf course on the island that I own, nobody call me.

Honestly, CEOs mostly fight crime at night when they aren’t expected to be anywhere else so they don’t really need any excuses.

CFO

Just get fired for embezzling, then you can do whatever you want with your time.

Chairman

Just got a whole new shipment of chairs in. They’re gonna need some quality sitting in I mustn’t be disturbed for several hours. (I don’t know what chairmen do.)

Chauffeur

I have to go contemplate why “chauffer” is pronounced with an “sh” sound, if you need me I’ll be in my chateau.

I have to go sit in a car while my employer enjoys a very long, very lavish meal in a fancy restaurant. But don’t worry about me, I’ve got a bag of chips.

Cheerleader

I’m going to go spur on my favorite superheroes with the power of cheer!

Chef

I have to go contemplate why- oh, we did this one already.

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook.

Chemist

I’m bored of this singles mixer so I’m going to go back to my lab and have a mixer of my own. (That’s when a chemist goes and mixes random chemicals together to see what’ll happen. Fun fact: several superhero origins involve this kind of mixer.)

Chess Master

If you were any good at your job you’d have set things into motion months ago to ensure that you could leave all your gatherings to fight crime. You don’t need our help.

Clarinetist

I’ve gotta go kick a sea-sponge’s ass.

Cleaner

Boy those super-folk are making quite the mess if I get down there now maybe someone’ll pay me to clean it.

Clerk

No no no, those super-people are engaging in fisticuffs in a public square without having first filled out forms 42G with the supplementary forms 2AB and 32H to account for the missile-launching mecha and the time-displaced stegosaurus.

Clockmaker

Time for justice (again you’re allowed to reveal that you’re a superhero if you can get a good pun out of it!)

Coach

This ragtag group of superheroes needs someone to whip them into shape! (Bonus points if you then actually act as a superhero mentor to that ragtag group of heroes.)

If you’re at an event with any referees you can just go yell at one of them until you get ejected, then you’re free to do whatever you want for the rest of the night.

Coal Miner

Well, I’m off to go deliver one tenth of all the coal I’ve mined this year to Santa so that he can then redistribute them to naughty children, as all coal miners do every year.

Codebreaker

All you need to is leave a coded message wherever you were supposed to be and by the time your non-codebreaker friends and family members manage to break it you’ll probably already be back (or have died saving the world from Fieron the Sentient Forest Fire).

Colorist (Comic Books)

Did you know that old-timey comic books were printed in black and white? This is an absolute travesty and I am going to single handedly go back and color every single one of them. This will require me to be unavailable for several long extended periods of time.

Colorist (Hair)

I just had this great idea to dye my hair a whole bunch of different colors. This way my own head can act as my resume and people can see how skilled I am at coloring hair. This will probably take a while, nobody need me.

Composer

Ah I wrote some music that would literally be perfect for this battle, I’ve gotta get down there and play it for them.

Comptroller

Just assign one of the many accountants that work under you the responsibility of accounting for your absence.

Computer Scientist

Just hack into whatever database or security system you need to make people think you never even left.  

Construction Worker

Not one of those superheroes are wearing a yellow hardhat and that’s just an accident waiting to happen. I must go down there and hand some out.

I need to go catcall some people.

Conductor

This super-battle is filled with senseless chaos, clearly they need someone like me to step in and bring order to it.

Cook

Do we even need to do this? We have chef listed above. (You insolent buffoon there is a world of difference between a cook and a chef!)

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook. Longer than it would take a chef to cook as I have less experience and education in culinary matters.

Copyrighter

I have to go protect some patents (and the city!)

Copywriter

I have to go write some copy (and the city!)

Councilman

Just stand up in the middle of a council meeting and shout “this meeting is adjourned!” ten bucks says nobody fights you on that. [If we are wrong we will not send you ten bucks, or any bucks for that matter.]

Count

Has there ever been a superheroic count? I don’t think so. All the ones I know of are supervillains or blood-sucking vampires… or math-loving vampires.

Crane Operator

I have to go make sure there are some unattended cranes near that superhero fight so some scrappy kids can take control of one and knock out or distract the evil monster at a decisive moment in the battle.

Oh my gosh Karen I swear to god if you make one more joke about me operating a marsh-dwelling, long-necked bird, I am going to leave! (And then just wait for Karen to make another joke, trust me, it’ll happen, she just can’t help herself.)

Cross-Country Skier

For today’s cross-country ski I have decided to cross-country ski where no man, woman or child has cross-country skied before. In fact, if my ski-calculations are correct, no species of animal has ever cross-country skied across this country before. Yes, you guessed it, my destination for today’s cross-country ski is Antarctica, this will take me a very long time. Don’t wait up. (Of course we in the super-community know that Antarctica is one of the top-five destinations for Yeti cross-country skiers but the common-folk don’t know that so shhh.)

Cryptozoologist

Somebody finally got a good picture of El Chupacabra! I have to go and interview them! For science! (The jig is up Chupacabra, we’re coming for you!)

Curator

I have to get down to this super-battle and pick out the best pieces of rubble and dismembered robot parts to showcase in this new exhibit on superheroes/cool rocks/robot parts (you get to choose) that I am curating.

Customer Service Representative

Hey I think that superhero was in here buying a grappling hook the other day. I’m going to go see if he’s happy with his purchase. (Obviously he won’t be because grappling hooks are garbage.)

Cymbal Player

I’ve got to get to marching band practice. Without the loud, yet melodic, cacophony that my instrument produces how will my band earn the attention and envy of marching bands everywhere.

Captain Patriot lost his giant star-spangled discus! If I quickly paint my cymbals do you think he’d like to use them instead?

Tune in next time when we tackle all of the “d” occupations. As always if you know of a job that isn’t represented here by all means contact us! (Or leave a comment, or just, y’know engage with this blog somehow, please, so I know you’re out there.) And don’t hit be all like “Hey! you forgot counselor!” That’s just a fancy term for lawyer so you all have to wait like three years for us to get to “L”. In the meantime just use generic excuses like “I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me all these questions about where I’m always going. I am an adult, I should be allowed to come and go as I please,” or “I am going to take a nap.” 

[comic-movieheroesranked]

Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2004) Final Part

After two consecutive years of multiple Comic movies, 2004 took it a bit slow with only five movie releases. Blade returns one last time in Blade: Trinity as well as Spider-Man in Spider-Man 2! We also get a spin on two cult classics with AVP: Alien vs Predator. Finally we also get the debut of two comic characters in Hellboy and Catwoman. Here is our TOP 20!

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

20. Drake (Blade: Trinity)

"Kill one man, you're a murderer, kill a million, you're a king. Kill them all, a God."

You know Blade's a badass when Dracula changes his name to Drake just to try to keep up with Blade's coolness. He's the ultimate vampire, yet I thought he was very lackluster (like most villains, honestly). I'm sorry but you're not intimidating if you have to use a baby as leverage on what should be a one on one fight. When the showdown between the two does actually happen, Blade ends up winning to no one's surprise. Not even Drake's, who respects him so much he even helps him out after his death.

19. Kroenen (Hellboy)

*creepy laugh*

So was this guy a zombie made of sand? Because without the armor he looked like a zombie. And he was a zombie who knows how to work a blade. It was guaranteed in the movie that whoever was around when this dude showed up was going to die. He even took on six security guards, killing two of them with their own bullets. Of course I had to hate him when he killed Professor Broom and of course I cheered when Hellboy finally finished him off (I'd also like to point out that Hellboy believes in double tap). I thought this guy was emotionless but right before he dies he starts this evil laugh that's almost chilling. He was easily my favorite to watch die via Mortal Kombat dungeon spikes.

18. Liz Sherman (Hellboy)

"Red, white, whatever. Guys are all the same."

Since she was a young girl Liz has been cursed with the ability to create and control-I use that term lightly-fire. She doesn't quite have a handle on it and seems she can only let it loose after experiencing traumatic memories or being physically hurt. Her destructive fires have wiped out a bunch of kids who totally deserved it and an entire psychiatric ward that totally didn't deserve it. She spent most of her life with the government and wants desperately to be in the real world living a normal life. It's one of the reasons why I think she can't return Hellboy's feelings for her, because she connects him with the facility she wants to run away from. In the end, after she destroys all the hellhounds and Hellboy saves her life, the two finally confess their feelings and share a passionate kiss that literally erupts them into flames.

17. Mary Jane Watson (Spider-Man 2)

"Isn't it about time someone saved your life?"

I just felt so bad for Mary Jane in this movie. Granted, she's doing better career-wise but she's just so in love with Peter and just doesn't understand why he won't be with her when he loves her too. She tries to move on with John, who's like the definition of a good guy, but he's not Peter so  we all know how that story ends. I just didn't expect her to be so savage and leave him at the alter SMILING the entire time! I'm just glad that her and Peter are officially starting something because honestly she was already getting caught in Spider-Man's battles so might as well fill her in as to why that is.

16. Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Get out, Blade!"

There's a reason why Whistler is the only other character besides Blade to be in every single movie in the trilogy. He's the perfect partner. He knows that it's all about the mission and is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Blade is successful. His only problem? Dude's getting old and slow. Man it was hard watching him go down when police came in locked and loaded, but I respect that he was still able to destroy all the evidence with every last breath he took. Even after death he made sure Blade was taken care of, because Blade WAS his son I don't care what anyone says.

15. Sebastian de Rosa (Alien vs Predator)

"Only the chosen ones may enter."

The Italian that just kept sending romantic vibes to Alexa through the whole movie. He's also the only one who seems to figure out everything that's going on thanks to his background in ancient civilizations. This doesn't save him from being alien cattle, though, and Alexa is forced to kill him when it's discovered an alien has already grown inside him.

14. Alien Queen (Alien vs Predator)

*Alien screech*

If the Alien Queen wasn't designed to literally kill everything that lives, I might've felt sorry for her. The ancient civilization that worshiped the Predators basically had her chained up so she could do one job: lay alien eggs. She gets tired of this, however, and has her children attack her so her acid blood can break her free. She then fights Alexa and the last Predator to escape to the surface but ends up being dragged into the sea where she instantly freezes in the Antarctic weather.

13. Tom Lone (Catwoman)

"Sorry, lady. I'm taken."

What's cute about Tom is he's already swerving other women when he's only been on like, one date with Patience. Granted, the other woman turned out to be Patience but it's still a sweet gesture. Tom's job as a cop makes things really complicated when he finds out Patience is really Catwoman because now he's struggling on whether or not to bring her to justice (this lowkey makes him Batman). He decides to trust his heart and ends up helping her clear her name and bring the right person to justice. Too bad at the end he just gets a note for a goodbye.

12. John Myers (Hellboy)

"My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but love them for their defects."

The new guy! Professor Broom hires John straight out of college to look after Hellboy, even if the other male doesn't think he needs watching. Most of his duties consist of cooking Hellboy huge amounts of pasta and pancakes as well as look after his army of kittens, but when the occasional demon comes around he also helps out with that. Its revealed that Professor Broom hired him because he's dying and needs someone to look after Hellboy when he's gone. How does he do this? BY GOING AFTER HELLBOY'S GIRL! Ok so she's not really his girl, which is why I don't blame her at all for going on the date with him because she's her own person and is allowed to do what she wants but John was foul! He knew Hellboy was crazy about her and tried to get with her anyways! At least he didn't get upset when Liz decides to be Hellboy instead.

11. Hannibal King (Blade: Trinity)

"It's in the meat of my butt, just below my Hello Kitty tattoo."

Who knew Ryan Reynolds would star as Deadpool five years before he was officially cast as the merc with a mouth in the first Wolverine solo film. But really Hannibal King is exactly what I fear Deadpool would be if he was in movie with any other super-hero character. He was extremely annoying, half the time I wanted Blade to just slap the shit out of him every time he opened his mouth. It was like he had a serious case of word vomit. Him being the comedic relief was a tad bit overdone and no, him being shirtless didn't lessen the blow at all. At least we saw him go up against three vampire dogs.

10. Patience Phillips/Catwoman (Catwoman)

"Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told."

Let's start this off by saying that Patience Phillips is literally one of the most annoying characters ever. Where's Selina Kyle? Like why'd that change? Was it because Halle Berry's black? Because that's such a cop out. Despite the horrible movie, I actually really liked Halle Berry once she was in the cat suit. She had her strut, she delivered those lines, and looked so visually stunning it's like she came out the comic book. Too bad the movie wastes her potential with useless scenes at a basketball court, dealing with loud neighbors, and doing a random ass BDSM dance at a night club.

9. Abigail Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Scream if this hurts, chica!"

Whistler's daughter out of wedlock ended up not falling far from the tree and caught the vampire hunting bug at a young age. She didn't let her father's rejection stop her and joined a team of hunters that helped Blade take down the main vamp, Drake (aka Dracula). She's got killer aim with a bow and is bound to get even more bad ass with Blade basically taking her under his wing like her father did with him.

8. Predators (Alien vs Predator)

*Predator clicking*

Three young Predators show up to Earth to slay a bunch of aliens as of rite of passage into manhood (Womanhood? You can't really tell if there's different genders with them). To do this they trick a bunch of humans to show up so that the aliens can breed the Predator's perfect prey. Two of them go down pretty fast, to the very first alien they come across. One was killed instantly while the other put up a really bad ass fight before falling victim to the same alien. The lone survivor proved to be the more superior out of the three because it's taking down humans and aliens left and right. It teams up with Alexa to take on the big Alien Queen. They're successful, but the Predator dies in the process. It's clan, who was just watching the entire time, appears to take it's body away, not knowing there's an alien-predator hybrid growing inside it ready to come out wreck havoc on their ship.

7. Professor Broom (Hellboy)

"I already know what to call him. I call him 'son.'"

Professor Broom is my dad too, I don't care what anyone says. The fact that he was the only one who saw Hellboy as a baby when they first discovered him and not some red ape they needed to kill really shows what a caring man he is. He raises Hellboy as a son and nothing more. He grounds him, lectures him, and Hellboy knows better than to be caught smoking around him. I thought we were going to lose him because of his sickness, but he ends up getting murdered by Kroenen, although he goes out with the highest class.

6. Dr. Otto Octavius/Doc Ock (Spider-Man 2)

"I will not die a monster!"

One thing the first two movies of Spider-Man did that were really successful were their villains. Once again we have a man with a brilliant mind but this time wants to use it for the greater good of mankind. Dr. Octavius turns into a villain after loses everything he worked and cared for and ends up being controlled by his technical tentacles. His fight scene with Spider-Man on the train was one of the best fight scenes I've seen in a movie, too. I'm glad he went back to his core values, even if he had to sacrifice himself to do it.

5. Abe Sapien (Hellboy)

"If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other."

Abe was probably my favorite out of the trio of 'freaks'. He was an aquatic humanoid with the ability to know everything about a person or object just by touching them. Looking passed his obsession of rotten eggs, Abe proved to be a very important member of the team. While Hellboy did all the ass kicking, Abe made sure Hellboy knew everything about the thing getting the ass kicking. He's not a fighter, which is proven when he's severely injured by one of the hell hounds. Healing his wound takes him out of the main fight but it doesn't stop him from giving advice to his friends when they need it.

4. Alexa Woods (Alien vs Predator)

"To restore order, the guards need their guns."

Wow it was so obvious that Alexa was going to be the only human to survive this temple full of aliens and predators alike. Probably because she was the only one who didn't actually want to go because of how dangerous it was. She knew how to handle every situation and learned quickly that in order to stop the aliens from reaching the surface, she would need help from the Predators. After she kills her first alien, the last remaining Predator deems her worthy and the two team up to take down the Alien Queen. When the Predator's clan shows up, they let keep her badass sword and alien-head shield. I, personally, would have wanted a ride since the nearest town is a thousand miles away though I'm sure Alexa would figure it out just fine.

3. Blade (Blade: Trinity)

"I was born ready motherfucker!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Blade is the ultimate badass! Literally everyone in every single movie of the trilogy got hella worried once they realized they were going up against him. He is the ultimate nightmare of all vampires. In his last mission we see him turn into the mentor as he takes up Whistler's daughter and her team to take on Drake. Of course he's successful because he's a badass and that's what baddasses do. But seriously I could just hear him say motherfucker the entire movie if I could, but I get that the script had to be a little more complex than that. Even though the movie wasn't my favorite, Weslet Snipes definitely ended his time with this iconic character on a very high note.

2. Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Spider-Man 2)

"Sometimes to do what's right we must be steady and give up the things we desire the most."

Our favorite neighborhood Spider-Man is back! Peter is going through a life bump two years after he first becomes Spider-Man. He's broke, struggling in class, and damaging his already fragile relationships. The main reason for all this is because he's putting his responsibilities as Spider-Man before anything else and it starts to take a toll on him. I can't blame him for wanting to quit, it's not easy for someone to give up everything they care about for a cause they didn't really ask to be responsible for. Except, he kinda did. No one forced him to become Spider-Man either so I'm glad he got out of the no-power funk he was in and went back to making the streets of New York safer. And because he went through all of this, he was able to help Dr. Octavius get his morality back, which is something you don't see a lot in the grand dynamics of hero vs villain.

1. Hellboy (Hellboy)

"Second date, no tongue!"

He's big, he's sassy, and he's one of the pettiest people that's ever graced a comic book. Hellboy is exactly what his name is: a boy that came from hell. Granted he's a man now but Hellman doesn't exactly have the same ring to it. What's not to love about Hellboy? He has the best one liners, goes through all the teenage insecurities of liking someone that we all went through, and has a deep passion for kittens. Anyone who is willing to risk their life for a kitten is a hero in my eyes. The main struggle Hellboy has during the movie is fighting the demon he is 'destined' to be. He files down his horns and tries desperately to fit in with society, even if his main reason is so he could finally by with Liz. In the end, after losing his father, Hellboy leads the team to stop Rasputin from ending the world. And he's able to accomplish that by making the choice to not be what's expected of him. To not be a hell demon that will bring about the end of the world. After ending Rasputin and his plans Hellboy goes back to the indestructible badass we all know and love and finally gets to kiss Liz.

[medschoolash]

Hey :) I read your metas about Marcel and I found it interesting :) I have a lot of issus with elijha characteers since season 3 ( Marcel 😔 Davina 😔 Kol etc....) and the way that the fan saw Marcel is just so weird to me 😐 What do you think about the way that Klaus/Marcel was handle episode 7 ?

oh I’m glad you asked met this anon, I was actually going to make follow up post about Klaus and Marcel after this episode but I think I’ll just get so of my thoughts about it out here. 

I liked the way they handled Klaus and Marcel in this episode for the most part. I like that they stayed clear of Hope being afraid of the scary black man trope, I liked that they made it clear that Marcel and Hope are family even if they didn’t go all in on them being brother and sister. I liked that they showed that Klaus was worried about the mental torment that Marcel was going to go through even if he was being stubborn and insisting he stay there because he was still upset at Marcel for what he had done to him. I liked that they humanized Marcel with Hope, how we got to see just how gentle and caring and protective he is. Overall I think the Marcel and Hope stuff was very necessary and was handled in a way that left me satisfied. 

The only issue I have is with the eventual Klaus and Marcel talk at the end. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I generally liked it. I liked that Klaus told Marcel that he wouldn’t let the hallow take his family and made sure to tell marcel that he’s his family. I liked that they made Klaus nostalgic about how he used to shelter marcel from his horrors when he was a child just like he’s trying to do with Hope right now. From Klaus’s POV you can see how Marcel and Hope are pretty much equals even if the dynamics aren’t exactly the same. Which is nice to see, but truth be told, it’s always been this way for the most part from klaus’s POV so it wasn’t all the surprising and it didn’t do much to make the rest of the complaints I made in my original meta go away.

The issue I have with the scene is that the writers once again dropped the ball when they had the chance to FINALLY mention the racial dynamics at play and address them. 

I thought it was beautiful that Marcel told Klaus that he knew he was a monster when he met him. I think Klaus needed to hear that because he thinks that Hope’s love for him will disappear when she learns what he’s done. He still hasn’t grasped the concept that the love you get from your children is unconditional. Marcel telling him that he knew he was a monster was major because it’s obvious that Marcel loves klaus and always has. Marcel’s love has been unconditional from the very beginning and it’s STILL unconditional despite all off the things that they have done to each other. Klaus needed to hear that ti understand that Hope will feel the same way about him. To understand that yes he’s hope’s fairytale prince and yes Hope’s innocence should be protected but she won’t stop loving him when she eventually learns what he’s truly capable of. The audience sees that Hope knows a lot more than her parents think she does and it’s changed nothing for her but Klaus hasn’t learned that yet. Marcel opening up about that will help him in the journey of understanding. 

So like I said that was great...however Marcel said something very interesting that didn’t get the explanation it needed. 

Marcel told Klaus that he knew he was a monster when he met him, he then said that he didn’t know that Klaus was a vampire but HE KNEW HIM.

That’s where they left it..

but why would marcel say that? 

How did he know who Klaus was without meeting him? How did he know that Klaus was a monster without knowing his true nature? 

When you sit down and think about it that answer is painfully obvious and I suspect the writers know it but they are so adverse to discussing race they couldn’t actually let him say it out loud so once again they have done their narrative and marcel a great disservice. 

Marcel might not have known Klaus personally....but Marcel knew white men. 

Marcel was born into slavery. He witnessed white men beat, rape, and kill black people like him every day of his life. He might not have known Klaus but he knew that white men were monstrous, white men were abusers and oppressors. 

Klaus may have never owned a single slave. He may have never participated in the vile and evil practice of slavery that went on almost 300 years in the US...but Klaus shared a lot in common with the men who did. Klaus sat across the table of the men who did. Klaus shook hands with the same men who would beat marcel. Klaus visited the same plantations, he went to the same parties, he was a part of the same social circles. Klaus was a part of the establishment that kept slavery alive and well. The only reason that Klaus was even there the day he rescued marcel was because he was attending the funeral of the governor’s son whom he had killed. The governor was a known slave master and also marcel’s biological father via the rape of his mother. 

So Marcel didn’t know Klaus when he met him, but Marcel knew white men, and white men were monstrous and Klaus looked like and was a part of the same circle as these white men so that’s how he knew Klaus was a monster as well. 

If they were talented writers who didn’t insist on glossing over race they would have had marcel bring up how he knew Klaus was a monster. It would have been a powerful moment that finally allowed Marcel to express in some way how he felt coming up as a former slave in Klaus’s household. It also would have made Marcel’s love for Klaus feel even more powerful and explain while he’s always felt isolated from the family bond and why it has hurt him so much. 

 It would have worked for Marcel and Klaus because it wouldn’t be like Marcel would be admitting to loving a man who was once his slave master, it would be Marcel admitting that he saw klaus as the vile white man that he was, as the same as the white men he had known his entire life, but when he met him he connected with him and bonded with him anyway. His initial judgements didn’t stop him from being able to open his heart to loving Klaus unconditionally as a father because eventually he didn’t just see a monstrous white man, he saw a man that cared about him, tried to nurture him, gave him the guidance and love of a father that he didn’t get, a man who understood some of his pain as a abused child, a man who wasn’t perfect but a man who protected him and loved him far more than the man he actually shared blood with. 

Marcel deserved to be able to tell Klaus that he knew he was a vile white man, he deserved to be able to look klaus in the eye and say that he was well aware of the racial difference between them and that it mattered to him even if it wasn’t a deal breaker and didn’t stop him from being able to love Klaus as a father. Klaus needed to hear that Marcel felt something about the racial difference between them, that Marcel carried pain and hurt and anger because he was a young black boy raised in a world that saw him as inhuman even if Klaus himself was able to see his humanity. He needed to see that it was part of the reason that Marcel has taken his rejection from his family so hard. Why he’s always felt like he was never truly accepted even if Klaus tried his best to never treat him that way. Klaus needed to hear that Marcel carried all of that with him but loved him anyway. 

but we didn’t get to hear him say it. We’ll never get to hear Marcel say it because they just don’t want to be held responsible for the narrative they have created. They have no intention of ever truly doing it justice and it’s just sad tbh, because there are so many important discussions that could be had if they did.