#anyway yeah watch the first men in black movie it slaps

[whyismangososour]

I don’t think I’ll ever not go insane over the first men in black movie not only is it one of the few blockbusters I’ve ever seen that confidently refuses to take itself too seriously, but it looks the audience directly in the eye and says “you are tiny and insignificant, as small as a marble in the eyes of the infinite universe, but that does not mean you should treat your life and the things around you as meaningless” and it just makes me want to cry

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

ParaPines Prompt: The boys take it upon themselves to explore a seemingly abandoned mansion. But are rather surprised, upon entering, to discover that it isn't as abandoned as they'd first believed. Dun dun dun!

The sound of heavy winds hits the old windows of the wooden house in the beautiful meadow clearing one late summer or early autumn day. A pair of small children, six years old at most, run across the tall grass and around the abandoned home, curly messes of brown hair bouncing and swaying in the wind and sunlight like bubbly twigs of tree roots or chestnuts popping in a fireplace upon the winter nights, their cheeks rosy and innocent of youthful heavenly glow of freckles and adorable sweetness.

One of the children, one of shorter hair, climbs up a nearby tree with a boyish giggle, thin rosy knees touching the bark as he climbs as the other sibling stands below watching in awe. Once on top, or at least the highest high point a small six year old can go, he looked around with wide wondrous brown eyes at the great wide space. A small shadow dance across the tall grass, causing the boy to squint his eyes into focus, it moves to a fro in gentle glide like a feather drifting on a rippling lake. The shadow, now easily told to be a boy of pale skin and black clothes of velvet and cotton, cranks his head up with the help of his thin pale neck and locked eyes with the adventurous young lad in the tree, sky blues meeting Earthy browns, clashing in beautiful harmony.

On August 3rd, I have met an angel in human form. My heart yearns for you, my soul burns for you. From your skin to your eyes, you haunt my very being And stripped me bare with bliss as my only coat. We may be from different class, we may be two men, But I can say in pure confidence I love you, Norman.

Dipper scribbles onto his notebook, his chocolate brown eyes looking up from the beige pages across the wooden floor of the Mystery Shack at the group of teens standing by some bobble heads. His eyes were glued to a specific teen in a cherry red hoodie who laughs at one of the fish head bobbles, his long nose scrunched and snort lightly as the fish head moves back and forth.

A pink sweater hits the teen boy as his twin pops up beside him, “You’re being creepy bro bro!” Dipper jumps, instinctually pulling his notebook to his chest with a sucked in breath between his teeth with a startled yelp, and instantly scans around. “Wh-What? No I’m not! How is that creepy? Of course I’m not being creepy!” He ends his ramble with nervous wheezy laughter as his cheek warms up due to being called out. Mabel, who’s hair was held up in a glittery scrunchy held pony tail and dressed in a heart patterned sweater, grins wider and giggles, “Yeah you were. You were totally checking out your new GOTH BOYFR���” Dipper quickly slaps his hands onto her mouth to stop her shouting across the shack like a loudspeaker broadcasting his emotions, his eyes wide and covered in terror. Thankfully it seems no one is paying attention to them.

Dipper let out a sigh and removed his hands and glared at his sister sternly, who only laughed in return. “Oh come on Dipper, you should know by now how excited I am! I mean, you, and one of our best friends—” She lets out a little squeal, her fist shaking in joy as she bounces on her toes. The boy can’t help but smile at his sister’s pure excitement of his recent mystery: A Crush. Now, Dipper hasn’t had much history of liking anyway, he even used to make faces at the actors kissing in movies, his most well known was with their friend Wendy who at the time was a teen. But that crush slowly faded after the summer ended with both being closer friends than before, now he has a freshly new found crush in the form of Norman Babcock, a 14 year old boy from Massuchutes that arrived a month ago for a family vacation to Gravity Falls. His skin is ghostly pale, his hair dark and defies all forms of gravity in spikes and whoosh, eyes a frosty blue that almost shimmer or shine like a bottle of starlight. Dipper never imagined he would be crushing on anyone like him, let alone actually being friends with him! PLUS, HE CAN TALK TO GHOSTS?! Can anyone say jackpot?!

Still, he keeps it quiet for the time being, much to the pain of his twin sister who so eagerly wishes her brother can be open about his romance.

“Really Mabel, it’s not that big of a—” “It’s a HUGE deal Dipper! You two should be a couple now! You can have a cute long distance relationship, have ghost hunting dates, then go to the same collage, and get married, and—” Mabel was shut up once more with a hand over her mouth in courtesy of Dipper.

“Come on, it’s this way!”

Dipper walks up the trail of the woods, behind him tow and in order are Norman, who walks more so looking around blissfully curious of the tall trees that are fading a warm yellow of the greens, Wirt, who’s height blends perfectly with the tall shadows of the trees, Dib, the more richer of the group thanks to his father’s well known inventions and in thanks to that he’s holding a special briefcase full of new gadgets for the upcoming mission, and Mabel, who comes along obviously with a skipping hop of her high top lavender sneakers. The Mystery Kids, a name still under construction but Mabel keeps calling them such, officially started their little “missions” of the unknown and strange around the area about the same time Wirt’s family arrived to Gravity Falls. Some may use the idea of solving mysteries and researching the paranormal as all a front and they’re really a group of teens who sneak into graveyards and goof off, but lots of Gravity Falls locals know the truth.

The group of them stand by the rusty gates with curious eyes and humble smiles. The building is square shaped with a high perked V-Shaped gray tiled roof with one large chiming poking from the side, the house is fully surrounded by overgrown wooden overhanging panels, the second floor is bigger than the first, which creates a stylish overhang on two sides of the house. It’s beautiful and haunting all at once, a sight to see as it sits frozen in decayed time in this beautiful meadow of dead grass and weeds. “That, right there, is one of the most haunted house of Gravity Falls' forests. Built in the late 19th century and was seemingly abandoned after the family who lived in it mysteriously disappeared.” Dipper spoke, making an effort of teasing as he wiggled his fingers while telling the last part, earning a chuckle from Norman. He continued, “They say screams are often heard, the windows open and close on their own, and hallways that change—” “EVIL DEVIL!”

The teens jump and turn around, half expecting a ghost while also half expecting one of the adults in the area, and were confused to see an elderly woman standing there clutching her cane in white knuckles furry. “An evil demon lives among those hideous walls! The Reaper always shakes when he walks past it knowing the demon will steal his soul!” She shouts, her voice shrill and raspy like a strangled pig, good thing Waddles is back at the Shack.

Wirt, ever so obviously uncomfortable when it comes to weird warnings from his elders whether it’s good or bad, slowly shuffles his way to distance himself from the fence he was just peeking through until he’s practically towering behind the more calm Dib who glances at him over his shoulder. Holding back an eye roll, the richest of the group speaks up, “What do you mean? Is it really haunted? Who’s The Reaper?” The old woman growls, spitting at the ground, her saliva ball almost hitting the teens who scurry more tense of the sudden attack even though it wasn’t towards them, “The Reaper was the most RUTHLESS man Gravity Falls has ever seen! A gangster who shot a rich man and kicked down a poor man for a deal of gambling, a trickster who conned the wickedest of souls for a mere laugh, a monster who took in some orphans was the one kindness his soul can allow! He was a robber of souls with the barrel of his silver gun, he cut off the lives of those who dare cross him, a walking curse of death!”

The group look at each other in various forms of worry as she rants and grumbles, her cane swaying in the air. Suddenly, a woman hurries over and guides her away. “Come on Grandma, it’s almost lunch time.” She said, speaking very gently. The old woman only shouts, “THE DEMON WILL NOT REST!” The woman sighs and turns to them, her head hung with apology and slight embarrassment, “I am so sorry for my grandma. She never quite shuts up about her grandpa…”

Dipper’s head perked, he steps forward, her voice eager for knowledge, “The Reaper guy is her grandpa?” The woman only nods, rubbing her arm as she looks at the building behind them, “Yeah. Apparently he took in her dad back in 1916 and since then pretty much everyone only talks about him. And also warn anyone about that damn house…” The boy looked back at the house, almost expecting someone wandering about to somehow explain such a violent reaction from what would be such a frail looking old lady.

The women walk away to the car that waits for them, presumably waiting for the grandmother, leaving the gang of mysteries to stand there still.

“Yeah I’m sorry Dipper, but I think I’m going to pass on entering that house…” Mumbled Wirt. Dib snorts out, turning around to the 16 year old. “Really?” He sneered, “That scared you?” Wirt’s dark browns narrow as he stares down at the trench coat wearing emo, “I literally survived a deal with an evil demon of a magical forest that turns kids into trees, I’m not risking staying a few hours in an old abandoned house with a possible evil demon that scared a mafia boss. I much rather stay the night at the abandoned yarn factory.” Mabel steps between them, her bubbly personality and colorful spirit and clothes clashing between the dark academia and dark clothes aesthetics between her, her smile bright as her voice, “Hey now you two, no grumpy faces. Wirt doesn’t have to go to the house Dib-Dot.” She boops two stickers onto their chest, a smiley face on Dib’s and a glittery frog on Wirt’s, her mouth puckered and making the tiniest of faint fart noises with each jab of the sticker. 

Dipper looked away from the three talking at Norman who stands still by the fence looking back in. Man, how can anyone be this pretty? He thought to himself as he watch how the sunlight dance across the darkness of the psychic’s hair to the pale flesh of his skin, dancing little kaleidoscopes of shine in his blue eyes, creating patterns never seen before on the red fabric of his hoodie to the dark denims of his jeans, and that perfect expression of curiosity like a black cat peeking at a rabbit hole of Wonderland. The younger Pines twin slowly touched a ghostly grip of his shirt, scared of how loud and hard his heart was pounding it was just about to beat right out of his rib cage and spill across the ground for all to see. Quickly, he shook his head so hard he nearly fell dizzier than spinning in a long fast circle in 0.89 degrees with every 5 seconds until he grew sick. “U-Uh, you guys don’t have to join me tonight…” He blurted out, feeling his cheeks already going pink from the near voice crack he thought he was almost done with being 15 already. He fixes his hair as he looks at all their faces, stopping at those curious blue eyes that stop him in his tracks. Just then, his brain hit a much needed light switch. “Because we’re doing different missions. I’ll stay at the house, do some EVPs, some ghostly tests, and prove once and for all if it’s actually haunted or something else is behind it. You guys can go to the abandoned yarn factory and try and see what those spray painting messages mean.”

He turned to Norman, blocking out Dib and Wirt talking about their little theories of the mission in hand, and with a smile on his face to mask the nervous sweat stains forming in-between his armpits to his shirt, he says, “Hey, you can come help me tonight? It’s, uh, it’s been a while since we did a solo mission, right? Ofcourseifyoudon’twanttoIcan’tforceyouIwon’tforceyoutodoanythingofcoursecauseIvalueyoursafteybutnotlikeMOREthaneveryoneelse’ssafetycauseIcareforallofyouequallyanddeeply—IjustrealizethatsoundedweirdandcreepywhatImeanttosaywas—!” His rambles were stopped thanks (thank whatever God or whatever exists) to Norman smiling and patting his shoulder. “Dip, breath. Of course I’ll come with you.” “W-Wait really?” Dipper just hopes he didn’t sound too eager there. Norman snorts, “Yeah. I can’t let you go into a possibly dangerous abandoned house by yourself now can I?” Dipper smiles, using every fiber of his still growing body to stop him from jumping up and down shouting from the rooftops while his fist punches and messes with the air, instead he settles watching Norman go to the group to tell them he’s staying with Dipper. A night with Norman, and I asked him without puking! Dipper let’s out a very silent squeal under his breath.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soda:  ✔

Snacks:  ✔

Phone Downloaded The Right Playlists:  ✔

Step-By-Step Plan:  ✔

Dipper checks each mark of his notebook as he hurries about getting his back ready. He already has his bag ready for his paranormal stay but he needs to hurry to get ready for his actual plan if the night goes well. And if they don’t die. That too.

As he places the phone charger in his brown bag, he scrolls through his phone of his well thought of plan of setting the right mood for him and Norman’s hunt.

First, he thought very carefully about the snacks Norman would enjoy most during the night. Bringing the cheesiest of Cheetos and already packed four cans of his top two favorite sodas on the bottom so they would remain nice and cool and not shaken by the time when they drink them. Next, he has already planned that Norman might be stressed or bored however the trip goes into the night so he is going to give him his cellphone to listen to his well thought playlist of Norman’s favorite music to calm him down and get a sense Dipper can totally rock out with him whenever. Starting simple yet basic with Skater Boi, just to give Norman the impression at first it’s random — It’s a classic of course — then it’ll transition still pretty basic but random of Sugar, We’re Going Down to give Norman that more comfortable feeling of “Ah, this guy has good music taste. Respect” , then picking up on some Paramore which Dipper was luckily to find out the few times Norman let him pick a random Spotify playlist shuffle for the gang to listen to while they chill with a song that Dipper feels will help settle the more “Oh this guy and I have have so much in common! He’s way cooler than I thought!” With Ain’t It Fun. All ready with a click of the screen button of Dipper ready made playlist under the name of “Favorite Songs”, previously called “Songs to flirt with your paranormal hunter friend who you have a major crush on”. FINALLY, after all that, all the thought planned into it perfectly, Dipper will take Norman by the hand (or wrists or arm or whatever) and lay it all out; “Norman, we’ve been friends for so long, and I honestly can’t imagine me being this close to someone until we started talking. I like you, really really like you, and I want us to be more than friends, will you go out with me?” Dipper fist bumps himself as he mentally rehearses the night’s perfect plan. He even picked a easily seen Level 4 haunted house that could’ve been exercised by any ghosts years ago just to ease Norman’s ghost seeing abilities. Though he didn’t plan that random old lady or it’ll just be the two of them alone. In a huge house. At night. He blushes and shakes his head, ending it with a self smoosh of his face into his hands. “Calm down Dipper,” He scolds himself, looking at himself in the mirror to triple check his appearance, “Don’t go having weird thoughts tonight. Tonight is the night and it’ll be perfect.” He smiles. He waves a quick finger gun motion at his reflection with a grin.

"Bang!"

Crows take the skies as a figure runs across the woods. The orange trees trapping the shadows within. Footsteps echo across the vast land of nature as soon the figure of a black cloak stops by the largest tree of the forests, a shadow slowly consuming him. Laughter leaves his mouth as two strong arms wrapped around him, lifting him above the dirt and leaves of the Earth’s welcoming ground and soul, and spun around. A howl of amusement and surprise snaps the already fragile air of quiet as they fall onto the ground.

Lips found home among as soon as their laughter died down enough, bruised and worn hands entwining with nimble pale fingers as brown curls blended with the raven darkness underneath. “In quiet nights, my heart calls out to thee, Through whispered winds where softest secrets weave. Oh Norman, love that sets my spirit free.” Spoke the hunter, lips now kissing each joint of the pale hand before him, “With every glance, a spark ignites the sea, Your laughter dances like the autumn leaves; In quiet nights, my heart calls out to thee. The stars align in constellations key; Each moment spent with you I dare believe— Oh Norman, love that sets my spirit free. . .” The two men shared a brief but everlasting soft kiss upon their lips as the autumn air drifted down and circled around them. Buttons of the pristine white cotton shirt became loose as chapped lips dance across the pale neck now exposed to the world, the forest trees an audience of such passion and love on display.

“When shadows fall and doubts may linger plea, Your warmth envelops all I can conceive; In quiet nights, my heart calls out to thee. Together facing storms we’ve braved so boldly—    With hands entwined through trials that deceive—    Oh Norman, love that sets my spirit free. So here’s my vow through time’s unfading spree:     Forever yours, on this sweet truth rely—     In quiet nights, my heart calls out to thee;     Oh Norman dear—I’ll always choose your sky.”

The floorboards creak under the weight of two as Dipper fixes the brightness of his flashlight as Norman turns his up to the open ceiling hole created by nature’s random acts of destruction. “Okay, let’s start filming. Got the camera?” Asked Dipper, pushing some curls into his beanie as he steps by the large grand staircase that curves and goes up to the second floor where it seems a hole is forming on one of the stairs. Norman nods, “Yep! Fully charged and Courtney helped me get an extra battery if it dies.” The medium takes the camera out of his backpack with a grin, a boyish gleeful shine of his blue eyes.

Dipper blushes, the warmth spreading down his neck and up to his ears. Thank God it’s dark in here…. With a quick clearing of his throat, the mystery lover took the camera carefully from Norman and began setting up the settings. “We will start here on the down floor since the stairs seem broken and old. Sounds good?” “Yeah it’s good dude.”

Dipper looked at Norman through the video camera lens, silently admired his friend through the green color, and took a deep breath. Reaching in his pocket in secret he peeked at his list, quickly reading the scribblings of his handwriting in the darkness, and then shoved the papers back in his pocket.

First step, snacks. Dipper reaches into his bag, “Hey Norman, are you hungry? You know, since we’re going to be here all night.” He offered, holding up the bag of Cheetos to his friend. Norman smiles and takes it. “Hey my favorite!” He exclaimed. Dipper felt pride fill his chest as he stood up straighter, rubbing his neck he chuckled, “Really? Lucky guess…”

Then, silence swept through the pair. Dread whacked the brunette. Crap, was I obvious on the snack choice? He thought, afraid to look at him imminently. “Lucky as in a wild guess, yeah! You know, I remembered you mentioned it once and—” Dipper stops as he turns his head to speak to Norman properly, face flush in embarrassment and palms sweaty. He looked at Norman, who stood so very still facing the grand staircase before him, his bag of chips on the floor now and the hand holding the flashlight was turning white from his tight grip, his thick eyebrows were high up in a wide eyed expression and his mouth slightly agape.

Dipper’s brown eyes followed the piercing blue’s line of sight and shivered at the sight of an audible green glow before them. The scent of sickening decay and dirty water fills his nose as his vision stared at the figure of a man above the stairsteps, his clothes and the long pale green hair shift and waver like wind or ocean waves crazing across the manly figure making the float in the process, his eyes two white sockets streaking a black tear like substance as glistening fangs shine dully in the lights of the flashlight and the moonlight from both the ceiling’s hole and the large window to the left.

The figure let out a gnarly hiss, the same black substance leak and spray out like venom on a snake tongue as his long sharp tongue wiggles about harshly like a whip. The two paranormal teens let out screams, their bodies crashing onto each other in tight grips of both fear and protection.

But let’s pause for a moment. I wonder what’s everyone’s doing in the yarn factory—

“YO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT!”“SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!”

Wirt lightly taps his can of Pit Cola as he watches Mabel and Zim, both dressed in sparkling sweaters and hairs, regardless of the snortness on Zim’s end, held in scrunches, standing together singing into their flashlights. The group in charge of this exploration are Mabel, Wirt, Dib, and Zim, Dib’s brother. The group looked at some spray painted works of art and words, did some EVPs, and the mission was over rather quickly. BUT thanks to Mabel wanting to give her brother some alone time with Norman, she encouraged the other teens to stay and have an impromptu hang-out party inside this abandoned yarn factory.

Dib watches his brother and friend dance and sing with the shadows and dust bunnies, their hyper energies almost mistaken for them on some sort of high but clearly mildly influenced by sugar and bouncing each other’s energies, his face, much like Wirt's, is confused and mildly amused. “So much energy…” Mumbled the poet, his peachy skin a pinkish hue thanks to the summer heat rolls. The cryptologist to be chuckles, opening a can of soda next to him, “Yeah, but it makes this less boring yea?” The brunet looked at the guy next to him, a small smile easing on his lips. “Yeah. It is.” Dib smiles back, raising his can as a silent toast, and swigging the sugary cherry flavor down his thin pale throat. Wirt stares quietly as the shadows dance and sway across the thin body next to him, watching the inventor’s son’s throat jerk and move as he gulps his drink. Dib disconnected his mouth and looked at the one watching him, his brown eyes almost shining an amber color like fire or frozen sap from a tree behind his glasses that bounces light from the few small sources around him. He smirks, “Worm-Wirt.” Wirt smirks in return, “Metal Head.”

Meanwhile back at the manor—

Dipper and Norman ran across the halls of decayed wallpaper and weak wooden home, the ghastly ghost rushing after them in screams and wails. “In there!” Shouts the medium as he jerks his hand in a point at an old door in the hall. Dipper wasn’t waiting a second to think. He quickly grabbed the red sweater covered arm and pulled his friend through the door so fast both tumbled and rolled onto the dusty dark room.

Both stayed still as they heard the ghost move away, trying to catch up to their breathing.

“W-Was that the demon the woman mentioned?” Dipper asked, coughing the dust that filled his throat for the moment. Norman groans but shakes his head. “No,” He mumbled, “It felt normal…” They stared at the door for a moment, their bags open and left to spill their items across the hideous wine red rug. Dipper gasps and hurries to his bag, “Oh crap, the drinks spilled!” Sure enough, the sodas he packed had tumbled out of his backpack, shaken and dented from the running and falling. Not only that but the rest of the snacks he prepared have been crushed or opened and spilled.  He can hear Norman standing up and going closer. “It’s okay Dip, it’s not a huge deal.” He said, his voice gentle in worry and tender in comfort. Dipper looked over his shoulder and felt his very soul freeze. The room has a large window, worn and jaded, halfway covered by the dark curtain but still the moonlight shines though. The moonlight shines across the pale skin making a soft glow to the point he looks like a fae like being with dark for his dark spiky hair, his blue eyes now glowing frosty orbs. He was very beautiful, breathtaking even.

Dipper shakes his head and stands up straight and proper, turning his head right to try and get himself distracted by the thoughts swimming in his head. As he does so, his eyes scan to room and lock on a bricked fireplace hidden behind a weathered down piano. He jogs over, a simple push was all it took to easily move the surprisingly light piano to the side just enough to expose the fireplace to them. Norman looked in the barren pit, filled with dried and cobwebbed invested logs and dust mites that can be confused as some weird dust army. But there’s something there, hidden among the logs and shadows. Braver of the two of this moment, Dipper reached forth and lightly jiggled the top log until whatever was stuck was loosely showing off. 

Just then, some bugs of black sprawled out from their hidings, causing the teen to shriek and coil back. Norman, startled yet determined, grabbed the item and moved back with his friend, an arm stretched over Dipper’s heaving chest.

The two caught their breath and looked down at the treasure hidden and stared at some pages of many, thin and aged in fresh yellow time painted gracefully.

“Why would these be in a fireplace?” Asked Dipper as he took half of the healthy stack into his hands and fiddled with his flashlight and shined it through to give them easier chances to read the contents. Norman’s blue eyes scanned the yellow pages and black scribbled lettering, his eyebrows frowned as he mentally pieced how to read the cursive fine handwriting. He licks his now dry lips, clearing his throat simply, and spoke, “My dear, I apologize deeply for leaving you so soon, so abruptly. But understand I never meant to hurt you… This is the only way you can be spared. You, the son of the town’s pastor, and I, a humble wood cutter, were a chance a thousand years can never repeat. Two souls entwined and cursed forevermore. It was my fault Susan caught us in the manor, so it will be my burden to take off the punishment for abandoning God. For I have abandoned him, ever since I first laid my eyes on you back in the fields all those years ago, you’ve become the only Holy soul I desire to worship every day…. This is the end, my dear Norman, but I will be with you… All my love, Mason Driftwood…” They both look at each other blinking in shock. “Your name—” “Someone died for being in love with a guy…?” “R-Right, that!”

Dipper quickly looked through his pages, clearing his throat in a cough, “In the quiet corners of morning light, where shadows stretch and breathe, I find my love—Norman— woven into the fabric of every day…” He stops. He feels his cheeks burn. It felt too intimate and he barely even read it! If you found some love poems dedicated to someone who has the same name as your crush, you would get it! Fighting the urge to swallow the page before him, the boy continued with a quivering voice, “Y-Your laughter dances around me, a melody sweet as spring’s first bloom, enveloping ordinary moments in magic, turning mundane into sacred ritual. When you speak, the world slows down; Your voice—a gentle river flowing through my thoughts—

each word is a pebble smoothed by time…”

Norman stands there, listening to him read the letter, his head tilted softly to the side like a curious cat.

“In your eyes, I see galaxies unfold— stars that twinkle with unspoken dreams,

the universe conspiring to bring us together. Together we weave tapestries of shared whispers, soft stories beneath star-kissed skies; comfort in silence amidst bustling chaos….”

Dipper looked up and looked towards Norman, the flash light giving him a soft yellow glow beneath his nose and chin. They stand still, eyes locked, eyes wide and bewildered. The sounds of the wind blowing, the floors creaking naturally, and the crickets composing a symphony with the other woodland creatures outside perform the gentle ambiance between them. It’s weird… They’re scared shitless and confused yet this feels weirdly…enchanting…

“Dipper…” Norman whispered, his eyes narrowed as he steps a inch closer, his free hand lightly touching his arm. Dipper’s heart began to quicken in his chest as excitement and panic sinked in. Wait, is he— Is he going to kiss me??? But what about the steps?! I didn’t show him the playlists! The sodas and snacks are all over the floor— Oh God Oh God Oh God! Should I lean in? Should I stay still? I have never even kissed a gu— Well there was Mabel’s merman boyfriend but that doesn’t count! DON’T THINK ABOUT MERMANDO NOW DIPPER, THE MOST PERFECT GUY MAY BE TRYING KISS YOU!! “Y-Yea…?” He responded, trying to sound chill and not at all a nervous wreck. Their eyes never once left each other as they felt the air grow chillier. 

Suddenly, Norman shoved his body forward, leaving Dipper no time to process what was happening. The two fell out the window, the curtain trapping their bodies in a tangled mess. The last thing Dipper saw in the manor before he landed safely in the ground and rolled down the hill was that ghost who scowls and reaches for them.

The pair stopped rolling, landing in the golden green high grass of the field facing the fence they snuck through earlier. Firebugs float and circle around them in such a beautiful way one might dare claim it be magic lingering in the night. They stare at each other, the grass and stars creating crowns with the fireflies as one stares above and the other stares below. 

Dipper flinched, turning his head away as he coughed into his fist. “Oh ow, that fall hurt! Good thinking Norman on guessing the ghost was there!” He said in false confidence as he stood up. Norman, he stays still for a second, looks rather upset before he nods and stands as well, rubbing his arm anxiously. This wasn’t unnoticed by Dipper as he bent over and gathered some papers, even more as he watched Norman copy the same action. Crap, did I misread earlier? He thought in worry, feeling near nausea at the idea he made his friend and crush uncomfortable. “H-Hey if it’s about what happened earlier, don’t worry about it okay? I-I mean we both were kind of reading too much into it and it was dark and—” He rambled, and each fumble of his words made the knots of his tongue tighter. Soon, Norman stood, holding the recently picked up stacks of papers in his arms, his back to Dipper yet his voice carried all the emotions a face can show… “Yeah, it was crazy thinking… I mean us….like that…?”

Dipper froze. He felt his heart crack a bit as the quivering shake of Norman’s usually calm but sometimes chipper voice. “We should get our stuff in the morning with the others. I’m tired…” “O-Oh…y-yeah…yeah…okay…’ And with that the two began to walk out of the gate with the hiding hole they found to get in and down the path in pure silence. Crap…I really messed up…

The two teen boys walk into the Greasy’s Diner, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and greasy fried food wafted through them like a bomb of different textures. The place was barely full, mostly those who are the earliest of early birds and those who don’t even believe in sleep. Norman rubs his arm as he slowly walks to the first booth he sees, causing Dipper’s shoulders to hunch slightly. “I’ll…go order some breakfast…” He mumbled before quickly turning his heel to the counter, his head hung and tail between his legs.

The second he sat on one of the stools he let out a sigh, hands already rubbing his tired sore eyes that ache and begged for him to cry the emotions he’s feeling right now. He sighs again, “And I forgot my wallet is in my bag back at the haunted manor we just escaped from…” A voice speaks to his left, “Hey, what did you say about paying?” Dipper turned his head at a blonde teen who stood with a pot of freshly brewed coffee as her hips swayed out in a sigh in her waitress uniform, her glittery mauve eyeshadow a nice touch that made her hazel eyes really pop. Even tired and emotional out of his mind, he can’t help but smile meekly, “Hey Pacifica…”

Pacifica rolled her eyes and poured up a cup of Joe and placed it in front of the boy. “You look like shit, what were you up to tonight?” She asked, her sassy judgment not gone but just slightly pushed back to add a more gentle approach. Dipper ignores the idea of payment as he accepts the bitter blessing of energy this warm ceramic cup will bring, taking a quick gulp and ignoring the very hot water and nasty dense flavor of untempted coffee given his mouth. Once he sets his mug down, silently thanking his friend with a nod as she tops it off, he sighs once more, deeper this time, “A Dipper Pines Original; Took someone out to a haunted manor in hopes it’ll be romantic and completely messed everything up…”

The blonde watched as he slumped deeper in his seat, placing a napkin beside him slowly. “Is this about the Norman guy?” Dipper’s head shot up. “How did you know?!” He half whispered, worried that Norman could hear. Pacifica rolled her eyes again, her voice dripped in a slight tease, “Dude you are so obvious. Always doodling and talking all fast and sweating.” Dipper groans and puts his head onto the counter, his cheek squished in the glossy wood. “I have no idea what to do anymore Pacifica…” He moped, his eyes already sparkling in tears, “I planned this night perfectly, yet I screwed it up. I honestly don’t blame him if he doesn’t want to talk to me again but… is it selfish to hope he stays in my life…?”

Hazel eyes softened. The waitress glanced behind Dipper and to the right. Her pink lip glossed lips pushed out in thought, her head nodding. Slowly, she led down just enough to not be obvious for everyone and whispered, “I can tell you this now Dip-Shit, but he likes you. Like a lot. I mean he’s always looking at you.”

Not believing it, Dipper crook his neck just enough to look at where Norman sits. And sure enough, even after tonight, Norman glanced at his direction unknown he was spotted, his hands fiddling with his sleeves. “If I were you, I would sit next to him and fix what I can.”

Dipper didn’t need to be told twice before he stood up, scrapping the stool loudly in the process, his hand gripping the mug still. He stops. “Pacifica, I—” The girl stops him. “Just come by tom—” She pauses as she glances at her wrist watch of bubble gum pink. “Later today and you’re good. But not your first three coffees, you boys had a long night.” He nodded, a soft smile on his face, before he took a breath and made his way to the booth.

Norman watches as Dipper sat across from him, his hands stop fidgeting for a moment. Dipper smiles meekly, eyes clearly tired, his voice a warm tone of tender fresh emotion as he speaks, “We can eat and pay later.” Soon, his brown eyes lower as he frowns softly, “Hey Norman, I’m sorry for dragging you out tonight… That wasn’t cool of me. You could’ve gotten hurt and I ruined so much and—” Pale hands rose up and shook as Norman interjected, “No no, Dipper, I wanted to go to the house with you. Plus, I literally fought a murdered little girl ghost at 11, this was nothing.” He ended his response with a small giggle to ease the mood. Dipper smiles, pulling his beanie (how it stayed on his head God knows—) off his head of brown curls and placing it on the table by his mug. “Still… I… kind of invited you…in hopes to um…be alone…with you…”

Norman blinks. “With me?” Dipper nods, his chest rising as he swallows the sour lump in his throat, “I…I’ve liked you for a while…a-and um…I think you’re really cool and all kinds of awesome… I was hoping tonight we can chill, hang out, talk… and maybe… afterwards…” His face was turning red, he knew this. He can feel it. From the base of his neck to the tips of his ears he was undoubtedly hot and redder than a new born baby’s freshly spanked tosh. Meanwhile, Norman just sat there clearly processing what his friend was drifting off to. Soon, his pale face turned pink. So pink it put Barbie to shame. No turning back now… Thought Dipper as he sat up straight. Clearing his throat, he threw the last punch, “Do you want to go out with me Norman? A-And…maybe…b-be my boyfriend…?”

SORRY IF IT'S SUCKY/SHORT I AM TIRED AF!

This prompt was fun to do but had a much deeper story of Mason, the ghost in the manor, died protecting his Norman, who was going to be revealed to be the mafia guy "The Reaper", from the discovery of them being gay. HEAVILY inspired by the music video of Take Me To Church of course! I was also going to reveal the reason Norman became a mafia guy was cause a part of him died the night Mason died.

I even planned a scene of Dipper and Norman reading the letters to each other until Ghost Mason crossed over!

I know it's random but I wanted to see what timeline would jump in so

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee, night yall

Happy ParaPines Day!!

[im-feelin-sick]

Pokémon AU Devnny Drabble No. 2 As always, much thanks to @that-kangaroo-fish . In fact, I’ll go ahead and say any Pokémon AU stuff can be credited to her as much as me.

Content warning for JtHM typical content.

(2/?)

prev

Johnny grins at her.

He has such a nice smile, Devi thinks. It’s too big for his face, and devastatingly earnest. She desperately wants to tell him how good it looks, but instead, she only offers one in return. Not even a moment later, Devi catches herself slipping in posture towards his direction, and she pretends to cough while straightening herself back out. There’s a moment where neither of them say a thing. Devi needlessly moves around a few books on the shelf, before a topic of conversation occurs to her.

“Oh, did I tell you about my fucking date last week?” Devi asks, hopefully before the silence went weird. “It went terribly.”

“No, you haven’t.” Johnny shakes his head. He jams his fidgety hands into the pocket of his black hoodie, settling in. One of his massive boots digs into the ground as he refuses to make eye-contact with her- Nny’s always been awkward in a charming way. Devi likes shy guys, especially when they’re dressed like they fell into a vat of ravens and black eyeliner. A muddy paw print adorns his black and white Shedinja print t-shirt, which is just the right amount of accidental grunge. He must have some kind of dog Pokémon.

Devi sighs, distracted but still pissed off about the aforementioned date, before she starts her story. “Well, he had a Muk that hung out with us, as though smelling fetid sludge would set a romantic mood. I should have known then. First red flag.”

At this comment, Graifaifai (sitting behind her) makes a very annoyed growl, and Devi sighs again. “I know, I know. You were right.” She tosses her hair and the ends of her a-line bob dance across her cheekbones. Nny chuckles.

“Anyway,” Devi continues, “the asshole kept trying to get me to go back to his place, even though I told him I didn’t want to do that kinda shit on a first date. We went out to dinner, and he wanted to have dessert at his place. Like, grab some ice cream and put on a movie. He promised me it would be just that. But, y’know. Guys. Let their penises take the wheel.”

“I never understand that,” Nny interjects. “I mean, why that would be the first thing someone wants? Or second. Or third. Or fifteenth, really. There’s a million better things to do with someone that don’t force a deranged swap of, ugh, body fluids. I’d rather just. Talk. I guess. With someone I like. And get really deep. When you open up a person, it’s so much more intimate and you get to really see what’s inside.”

Charmed again by his declared priorities, Devi corrects him with a giggle. “Open up to a person, you mean.”

“Oh, that too, I guess.”

Devi grins. “Where was I? Uhhh…. right, ok, so I did end up agreeing to go to his apartment to watch one of my favorite movies, after making it very clear that I wasn’t going to sleep with him. Don’t ask me why I went. Maybe I thought that for once, some dumbass would respect my boundaries.”

“How dangerously optimistic of you.”

“Oh yeah, of course the prick doesn’t- he keeps trying to slap his greasy lips on me, and stick his clammy asscrack hands damn near everywhere. And he kept trying to get me to drink. And that Muk! The smell! Sweet hell! I finally called a cab and left before we were even fifteen minutes into the movie. He offered to drive me home but I wasn’t about to let him find out where I live. I don’t need a stalker on top of everything else.”

Utter disgust spreads on Johnny’s face like spoiled milk spilled across a floor. “Ew! Men are disgusting, greedy, filthy little creatures full of shit and stupid and processed foods. I mean, most women are too, to be honest. But men especially so. Everyone’s like a microwave burrito. You think they’re gonna be warm and wonderful, but they all end up soggy and still frozen in the middle! Nothing worse in the world than a partially cooked microwave burrito or a person!”

“Oh Arceus, right? Don’t know why I keep trying when I hate pretty much everyone, and everyone’s just blinded by boobs or bullshit. Dating is like playing Russian roulette with a completely loaded gun.”

Grafaifai climbs onto Devi’s arm and chatters. Nny gives Grafaifai a crippling glare, and grits his teeth before hissing back.” While I am, on unfortunate technicality, a specimen of the male gender, don’t you fucking dare compare me to them! My dick is the last body part I’d ever think with, and I strive to have manners despite everyone else always forgetting them. I’m no saint, but I’m nothing like the masses of creeps out there. And if ever become anything like them… well, take me out back and blow my genitals and brains out!”

Devi frowns. Did he misunderstand her? “Huh?”

Johnny looks equally confused for a moment, and just blinks, before replying, “Wait! Not you. Never you. I haven’t told you that I can understand Pokémons’ language before, have I? Well, I can- I always know what they’re all saying about me, and your Grafaifai told me that I’m just as bad, if not worse, than any other man, and that I probably want something horrible too. Which is a very, very cruel thing to say to a person, as well as including some disgusting assumptions.” Nny’s hands are balled up into quaking fists. There’s a sudden darkness to him that makes Devi’s nerves itch, but she also feels guilty. Grafaifai can be mean, but she’s never done much to teach it otherwise. Especially not by example.

She quickly soothes him over with, “Oh, it just thinks that kind of thing about every guy I….” Devi pauses, teetering on the edge of admitting something she’s working up the guts to say. She falls onto the side of caution. Mostly. “Uh, meet. It’s protective and a bit judgey, that’s all. I think you’re very polite and nice, for the record. I like talking to you.”

Holy fucking shit, is he nice! Devi loves the delicate, too-polite sound of his voice. Johnny often rambles, and Devi’s always happy to listen, even when the shit he says gets bizarre and conspiratorial. It’s just one of many charming quirks- though she’s pretty sure Johnny would practically murder her if she called him quirky.

Despite her holding back, Devi’s answer/compliments must be enough, because Johnny’s mood goes bright as fast as it went dim. She even thinks he blushes, and his tongue sticks out between his lips as though he’s trying to think of what to say next. It must be a struggle. Devi continues speaking for his sake.

“So you can talk to Pokémon, right? That’s cool. I’ve heard of people who can do that, but I’ve never met one. I usually get what Graifaifai’s trying to communicate, but I can’t understand the language at all.”

“I can’t remember when I learned how. Or if I learned how,” Johnny admits, happy to have changed the direction of the conversation. “I’ve been able to understand them as far back as I can remember. Which isn’t much even on a good day.”

Devi laughs at his joke. “I totally get you. I can’t even remember what I did this morning.”

“Me too. But the whole talking Pokémon thing. I really don’t recommend it. Especially when you live in a gym full of asshole ghosts. You can’t even make a ghost die a second time. I’ve tried it!”

“Yeah, talking to most people feels like sandpapering my face. I can see why Pokémon could be the same way. I hope Sableye’s a little nicer to talk to- where is the little guy, by the way?”

Sableye’s usually out and about, chirping at Grafaifai or trying to read comic books. Devi hasn’t seen him yet. He might actually be inside of his Pokéball, for once.

“Oh! He’s napping.” Nny turns around. Inside of his hood lies Sableye, curled up and asleep. It groggily peers at her, before covering its face up with its arms and burrowing itself deeper into Johnny’s hood. Even Devi’s not totally immune to cute things, and she lets out a little, “Awww.”

After a moment, Nny turns right back around. “But I wanted to say, that guy you went out with? I keep thinking. What’d he look like? ‘Cause I’d gut him like a Magicarp if I found him. I’d take him home and serve him a dessert made only of glass shards and vinegar. He deserves it. It would be a worth a new ghost haunting the gym.”

Johnny’s got a wicked, fucked up sense of humor that’s right up Devi’s alley. They laugh together this time, and somewhere in that moment, Devi finds the courage to actually flirt with Nny.

“Your gym actually sounds kinda cool. Like a haunted house. I’d love to see it. I might even let you take me there after a first date.”

“Oh?” Johnny’s usually pretty easy to read, but emotions fly across his face so quickly that Devi can’t tell what he’s thinking. For a terrifying moment, she wonders if she crossed a boundary. Did she misread him? But finally a giant grin stretches from hollow cheek to hollow cheek, and he nods rapidly.

“I’d like that too.”

He has such a nice smile, Devi thinks.

[superhenryjones]

Overheating Dream Journal #1

I'm starting a journal for my weird dreams I have during the Summer for the sake of having them written down somewhere. Enjoy if you'd like.

This one was probably subconsciously inspired by watching the 2010 A-Team in the background as the YouTube free movie of the night. It's bizarre as a pretty accurate retelling of the A-Team without irony or reflection post-9/11, so it plays like Team America: World Police not getting the joke with massive amounts of collateral damage and a half-dozen inter strongly incidents over counterfeit money printing plates (So... the last ten minutes of Team America where the point is, "There are WAY worse people out there who want to blow you up, so let US blow you up!").

Anyway, my dream is a parody of a technicolor 1960's film called "DISARM, KILMER!" shot in modern days. It's about a cigar-chomping general who leads a team of off-the-books army operatives in World War II. Their mission to start the movie is getting two Japanese scientists who are going to defect who are clearly white guys in bad makeup out of a Japanese facility that is clearly the Pacific Front and not some rocks in Southern California (And defection clearly works on the Pacific theater like it does in Europe).

They have to destroy a tank that is extremely blue, obviously a model, and looks like a super weapon from a Godzilla movie rather than something from World War II. After blowing it up, they are surrounded by Japanese troops who hear the noise, surrounding them. The leader shouts in an American voice, "DISARM, KILMER!" and the title slaps on syllable by syllable in deep red with a curvy font trying to be manly and the frame freezes. Then a choir of men usually reserved for Westerns starts singing the theme song. "DIS-ARM, KIIIIIILMER! You're a menace tp your fellow army man!"

Following every comedic beat, there is a freeze frame with credits and another bar of the theme song. The first beat is the Japanese soldiers throwing off full-body disguises, revealing American troops. The next is Kilmer's international crack team of various races ripping off their full-body disguises to reveal all handsome white guys except for the tomboy sniper, who is actually a 60's version of a supermodel. The next beat is the black football player making the jump to acting (Think Jim Brown in Dirty Dozen) looking around at all his teammates and saying, "What the hell, man?!" I don't think the dream had a specific player, but my mind filled in Patrick Mahomes with full 2020's mohawk. Yeah, that totally works.

The final comedic beat is this dialogue:

Kilmer: You had this base locked up before we got here?

Kilmer's guy 1: That kinda' defeats the point of us being here.

Kilmer's guy 2: Yeah. And who the hell did we kill?

*Pause for the director credit and thr choir going, "DISARM, KILMER, THE WESTERN DIED AND NOW THIS IS OUR ONLY JOOOOOOOB!"*

Everybody just laughs, and it fades to a private booth at a football game in America. Keep in mind football was shut down because, you know, WORLD WAR II, and the technicolor footage in the rear projector is clearly a 1960's game that occasionally has the broadcast team show up in the footage.

There's a Colonel explaining their hardest and most secrry mission yet and complimenting them as the best of the best.

Kilmer: Why did you pay to fly us all back to this public football game for something this secret?

Colonel: Because this is the most American place in the world. No spies will be here.

Stadium beer wrench popping in and asking in a thick German accent: Do you need any more drinks, Herr Kilmer?

Kilmer: No thanks, we're good.

That's about when I wake up. There's one more detail where one the guys is telling the football player what's happening in the game, and Mahomes' responds with growingly irritated, "I KNOW" until he explodes and says, "I did an on-field tribute for that guy when he died. I KNOW." And that's it.

Everyone I talk to about this wants to see this become a thing. Well, that's highly unlikely since I hate most 1960's war movies, and you have to have a certain love for what your parodying, otherwise it's mean-spirited or shooting fish in a barrel. Being "too good" for the material shows whether you want it to or not.

[omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts]

A Siren Song

Pairing: Robert Dubois/ Bloodsport x Reader

A/N: so I just finished watching the new Suicide Squad for the second time and I’m even more obsessed now than I was the first time I watched it. It’s a brilliant film with actually good humor, a non-sexualizing and actually empowering view on Harley Quinn (that leg scene?? y'all-), the rats?? Rat-catcher 2?? THE SHARK?? FLAG?? Who looked really good in this movie, he might be another contender for a story as well as Harley Quinn so lmk ;) but Bloodsport immediately piqued my interest because it’s Idris Elba and he’s gorgeous, I loved the complexities of his character and I want to write for him and no one else has done it yet?? so shoutout to @honey-im-emotional​​ for the support and push to do it! also love The Bodyguard movie, helped with the inspo <3 and i’m so sorry all of my stories are similar but I HAVE A TYPE enjoy and feedback is always appreciated loves and there will be SPOILERS so be warned, also if you want a Harley one next lmk ;) (it’s so long I’m so sorry lol)

Summary: You’re a highly targeted member of the royal family, the last in your line. Bloodsport is hired to be your bodyguard to both watch and assassinate the men after you. He believes it’s below his pay-grade, but reluctantly agrees, doing so to the best of his abilities. But the closeness brings more intimacy than you two expected, and sparks fly.

Warnings: foul language, sexual content, smut, choking, light bdsm, fluffy fluff, dirty dancing, dirty talk, violence and bad guys getting murdered, mentions of Harley x Reader (y’all sexy dance and kiss), reader likes women, dom! Bloodsport, age gap, alcohol consumption, jealousy, heavy kissing, slight angst, just a good time honestly

Word Count: 3,825

You dangle from the ceiling with your aerial silk, fitting your leg in the loop you’ve created, and dangling upside down. The rope wraps around your waist as you hang gracefully from your marble walls, flying. Your friend Harley Quinn taught you how to do this years ago, it now being your favorite form of exercise and relaxation when you need a moment to clear your head. 

As you lightly spin, twirling and dancing in the air with your chandelier reflecting light everywhere, a dazzling fairy floating in a sea of stars. You hear footsteps approach and move to hang upside down, facing towards the grand door. Robert Dubois, a.k.a Bloodsport, walks forward to stand directly in front of you. 

You have known him a few weeks or so now, him having to watch your every move and tracking down your family’s killers. He stands and meets your eyes as you dangle, hair falling below you.

“Hi,” you giggle, face flushed with heat. “I probably look ridiculous right now.”

He composes himself so he doesn’t crack a smile, but you see his lips twitch when he speaks, “No, Mrs. y/l/n.”

“I have a first name, you know,” you grin widely. “I’m younger than you, which hardly warrants such a professional title.”

“My apologies, y/n,” he fixes himself.

“It’s alright,” you ease, filling him with a sense of softness he hasn’t felt in a long time. You flip and land on your feet, letting go of your silks. 

You don’t notice as his eyes glaze over your body in your sports bra and shorts, something his cold, calculated stare should never succumb to, but he does anyway and he kicks himself for doing it. You’re his client and should therefore remain as such, no conflict of interest or thoughts other than to protect. He didn’t want this job, hell, he still doesn’t know why he said yes. Maybe it was the money. Or maybe it was upon seeing you that first time, in that star-studded gown the night of a charity gala you were attending, the way the diamond littered fabric hung over your figure, absolutely dazzled. The way you looked at him and smiled, like you were used to with all the other nobles and adoring fans. But he let himself believe it was different.

He can’t do that anymore, however, because he can’t allow for any complications. And falling for his boss is certainly a complication. 

You look at him and your eyes widen with realization, “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me cover up.”

You grab a tee shirt and toss it over your exercise clothes. He looks down as you do so and clears his throat. This brings a small smile to your face.  

“You called me in here,” he gestures to the necklace charm hanging around your neck that you can squeeze and send an instant distress signal whenever you need it. “What can I do for you, y/n?”

“Wanted you to spot me,” you tease, a smile overtaking your delicate features. You have a sort of stunning beauty about you that takes him by surprise every time he lays eyes on you. Which is often. You lay on your yoga mat and sit up straight with that same damned smile. 

“I’m here to do a job, y/n,” he says, his deep, honeyed voice coating the way he says your name like heat to sugar. “Not aid you in your workout routine.”

“What? Your assassin training didn’t include sit ups?” you smile, tongue in cheek.

“No, but if you need a way to kill a man with a book,” he presses a foot over both of yours as you begin to do sit ups. “Then I’m your man.”

“Yeah, you and John Wick,” you breathe out with a laugh. “And shouldn’t you be in here watching me already? Not by the door?”

“This room has no windows and no other door or entrance besides the one I was standing by. I thought you would want privacy,” he averts your gaze. “I’m sure it’s a hard thing to come by these days for a woman like yourself.”

You stop what you’re doing and look up at him, blinking, “Well, you’d be right,” you tuck your hair back. “So thank you.”

He meets your eyes, bordering on a smile, “You’re welcome.”

“Is that a smile I see?” you chuckle.

The smile shines, “It was a diversion. And you failed.”

You laugh loudly, “Will the next diversion be an actual laugh?”

“Wouldn’t be a proper diversion if you knew what it was.”

You tap his feet so he’ll get the hint and let you up. You rise to your feet and dust yourself up, “I appreciate your spotting.” You press a hand to his chest and hum. Warmth radiates from your palm and he inhales sharply. “For someone who wasn’t trained, you sure are a fast learner.”

He looks at your hand and back to your eyes, heat sprouting from where your hand touches. His hand flexes at his side as he looks around the room, to the door, seeing if it’s closed. 

“I-” he cocks an eyebrow then settles. “I think I should go.”

He watches you look at him with wounded eyes, brow lowered, you open your mouth then close it. 

You nod, moving away from him, “Right.”

You move to walk away when he stops you, mouth by your ear, voice dropping an octave when he whispers, “Just so you know-” you tilt your head up almost instinctively to hear him better. “-my assassin training did include reminding people who they are when they’ve forgotten their place.”

You look up at him fully now, “You work for me, remember?”

“I work for money. And you didn’t hire me. I was employed by Mrs. Waller to keep you alive,” he cocks his head slightly. 

“So it would be frowned upon by her when you’re unable to walk if you touch me like that again.”

You couldn’t believe he had just said that. Your eyes widen and your cheeks once again heat up, blushing. Your chest gets hot when he doesn’t break the stare like he’s calling your bluff, and fuck, did he do just that. You turn away from him.

You can hear the smile in his voice, “That’s what I thought.”

~~~

“Robert said that!?” Harley exclaims, eyes wide. Her jaw is dropped as she does her mascara aggressively in the mirror. “He’s usually so...”

You tug down your tiny halter top over your head, your bright, flattering makeup complementing the colorful swirling pattern, “An empty void with no emotion?”

She nods emphatically, agreeing, “Exactly! I had no idea he had it in him?” she raises her brow and smooths down her leather black and red dress, “Or that he wanted to put it in you-”

You slap her arm, chastising, “You don’t know that. It might have been a threat to actually paralyze me in a very not sexual way.”

“I say both are arousing,” she shrugs, platinum curls bouncing.

You roll your eyes with a small smile aimed at the floor, “Anyway-” you slip a belt through your tight jeans, hitting at your waist when you cinch it in. “We should get going if we want to get to the club on time.”

She pauses. “Y/n. Are you sure we should be doing this?”

You do a double take, “You’re telling me that we shouldn’t sneak out and have a good time?”

“I know the irony is apparent,” she looks at you with a knowing stare. “But not if it means you’re in danger. Which you are.”

“I know,” you frown. “But I’ve been locked in this house for months, I miss going out and having a life. I’m tired of being coddled.”

“I know, sweetheart,” she sighs, looking past herself in the mirror to flash me a sympathetic smile. She thinks for a beat and finally spins around, “Alright, screw it, doll, let’s go paint the town.”

You buzz with excitement, grinning, “Yay! Thank you, thank you! I wonder who will be djaying...” you trail off. 

Harley’s face falls and her mouth goes in a solid, straight line, looking past your shoulder, “I don’t think anyone will be.”

You laugh, completely oblivious, “Of course there will be. There has to be music. Dancing in silence would be pretty fucking awkward.”

“This moment is pretty fucking awkward.”

“What do you mean?”

A deep, irritated voice sounds off behind you, “Because you’re not going.”

You jump out of your skin, “Shit, Robert! You scared the hell out of me!”

“You’re not going to that club,” he folds his arms over his chest. You look over him and his casual, night wear: a loose tee and low hanging joggers. You almost wipe your mouth from salivating. Your outfit elicits the same reaction.

You pinch your eyebrows together, “You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. I’m tasked with protecting you.”

“Yeah. And nowhere on your job description does it say ‘become my parent’. There’s not an opening now just because I don’t have one. I am a grown ass woman and I have been a prisoner in my own home. The same home where...” you pause, a lump in your throat at the reminder of your family’s passing. You shake it off, “I’m just tired. I want a piece of my life back. You can either stay here or come. Either way I’m going.”

He gives you a quick once over and contemplates his options before dropping his arms to his sides and letting out a long exhale.

“Fine.”

You somewhat relax at his defeated tone, “Fine, what?”

He relents, “You can go, but I’m coming with you. But if anything happens to you, I’m not to be blamed. I will leave your ass in that club.”

You grin and jump up to give him a tight hug around the neck. He stiffens before slowly rubbing your back. You sink into his embrace, feeling like you were floating in water, now above the surface as he brings you back to oxygen. Harley smiles at the exchange and she winks theatrically. 

He glares. 

It’s not long before you three arrive at the club, music blaring and colorful lights flashing over the crowded floors. From his stare and intimidating aura, the club staff thought he was a bouncer and let you all in immediately. But before he was roped into working, the three of you bee-lined to the bar. 

“The prettiest and strongest drink ya got, sugar,” Harley smiles at the pretty bartender.

“And what if that’s me?” she responds, ebony hair falling onto one shoulder.

“Then I’ll have to drink you later,” Harley gives her a flirty once over and you roll your eyes.

The bartender grins and gestures towards me for my order, I answer quickly, “Scotch on the rocks.”

Robert looks at you, poorly covering his shocked expression. “Really?”

“Yeah, why?” you look up at him.

“Didn’t peg you for a straight liquor type, Ms. y/l/n,” he finally lets his hidden laugh show through, butterflies erupting in your chest. The diversion definitely worked, whatever you were thinking about before this has immediately left you.

“Then this is going to be the first surprise of many tonight, Mr. Dubois,” you return the smug look as he orders the same thing. You both share a look.

The bartender slides you all your drinks, each of you taking a long swig for liquid courage for the night. Harley’s favorite Doja Cat song comes on and she gasps, clapping excitedly when she grabs you by the wrist, pulling you on the dance floor, “Come dance with me.”

You mouth a small ‘sorry’ to Bloodsport who you left at the bar, he shakes his head with a smile over the rim of his glass, watching you guys’ drinks. 

She dances wildly, jumping up and down, spinning to let her hair fall in many beautiful angles. She’s a powerful force and your greatest friend. She puts her arms around your neck and the two of you move in time with the music.

“So...” she motions to Bloodsport who’s being forced into a conversation with a woman at the bar. The woman puts her hand on his and he visibly shrinks back and whispers something to her that causes the most horrid look from the woman and for her to walk quickly away. You smile at the relief that interaction has brought you.

“So what?” you spin her around and pull her back.

“Quit with the good dancing, or I’m gonna fuck you myself,” she teases with a lightheaded giggle.

You smile, “We’ve tried that already, remember?”

“Too much history, I know, I know. Doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be nice...” she whispers into your neck, kissing the soft spot under your chin. Your skin heats up under her touch as she drags her hands down your sides, pulling you close to her so that you’re flush against her chest.

You give into her and kiss her slowly, her soft lips melt into your own when her hands tug in your hair. Harley and you have always had a complicated friendship, with enough sexual attraction to fuel a nuclear bomb, but not enough romantic. You love each other but not in the way you both need. You were in love with Robert and she is continuing to explore her sexuality because she likes women and so do you. So as she trails her hot mouth down your neck in the middle of dozens of bustling bodies and you lock eyes with an angry Bloodsport, you knew exactly what she was doing.

You whisper, out of breath, “Are you trying the jealousy trick?”

“It worked in college, didn’t it?” she kisses your cheek, smiling gently against your skin. “And it’s working now.”

“I think you’re just obsessed with kissing me,” you kiss her back.

“It was a win-win situation, doll,” she grins devilishly and you can’t help but agree. “So when you’re done with him, come see me. But right now, I have a sexy bartender lady to drink up.” You grip her hand and let her make her way to her next conquest.

Robert had seen the tail-end of your kiss, his deft fingers clenched around his whiskey glass. He knows he shouldn’t let this sort of thing affect him, something as juvenile and simple as jealousy. But he couldn’t stop that feeling of being stuck, unable to think about anything except the fact that it wasn’t him with his hands on you like that, lips marking you as much as he pleases. Sadness washed over him in a tidal wave and he set his glass down, about to get up to leave when he spotted a man eyeing you from the door. He looked familiar and it wasn’t just attraction he sensed in his eyes but something far more sinister.

A few more men followed suit and began making their way to you in the middle of the dance floor. He had no time to consider the facts, just to get you out of there as soon as possible. 

You feel a rough hand tug your arm and turn to face who you think to be Dubois, you smile, “Enjoy the show?”

“Very much,” an unknown voice answers, and you look up, eyes wide. “Now why don’t you come with me for a little talk, beautiful.”

“Get the fuck off of me,” you yank your arm back, slamming your heel down into the perpetrator’s foot. More men surround you on all sides, making it impossible for you to escape or use your subpar martial arts skills. Aerial yoga was a very different ballpark than kicking ass. And you were just a beginner.

You poorly punch a man in the face, only making them all angrier when you’re grabbed from all sides, being dragged towards the exit kicking and screaming. You didn’t want to be that helpless damsel in distress, but as all of these men, men you recognized from your family’s death, were surrounding you, you couldn’t breathe. Their hands felt familiar, grabbing your arms like they’d done that night before you hid in the secret door in the dining room. You had watched these faceless men through a hole in that door, stifling your cries when bullets sprayed the room your family was having dinner in. So while they were coming after you and pulling you outside, it’s all you felt. That same feeling when he wasn’t near.

Drowning.

There’s a hand that pulls you back and you watch, dazed, as Bloodsport puts every man who touched you on the ground. It’s filled with swift yet aggressive and barbaric movements, controlled, expert chaos and it happens within moments. His chest is heaving when he looks down at you and scoops you up in his arms. You’d object in any other circumstances, but this time, head against his chest and tucked in his arms, you were okay.

His voice rumbles against your side, “We’re going home.”

~~~

Harley’s tears hit your shoulder as you sympathetically pat her back.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. I shouldn’t have left,” she sniffles loudly. “I should’ve been there.”

You laugh softly, fitting your head into her shoulder, “It’s okay, Harls. It’s not your fault, there was no harm done.”

“There could have been,” she sighs. “I’m not letting you convince me to go out next time, you’re staying here forever.”

You roll your eyes with a smile, “Alright.”

She gets up and sniffs, wiping at her nose that’s now flushed from crying, “Good because I’m serious.”

“I know,” you laugh again, hugging yourself in a hoodie much too large for you, (because you stole it from Rick Flagg) swallowing you whole. 

Your eyes wander down the hall to where Robert is no doubt pacing around in your bedroom, the only room not laden with cameras (ironically for privacy). You kick at the floor in your fuzzy socks and think of an excuse to go check on him, even though you’re probably the last person he wants to see right now. You, frankly, don’t care.

“I’m gonna go-” 

“Check on Robert?” she finishes. “I know, honey. I was a psychiatrist, I’m not stupid.”

You crack a smile and grip her arm affectionately as you walk past her towards the bedroom. You don’t even take the risk of knocking for fear he’ll lock it and try your luck with just simply opening it. You see him, shirtless with a towel over his shoulder, a low hanging towel wrapped around his waist, while nursing his knuckles. He looks you over once you enter the room, trained eyes on you and the intimidation is definitely working already when he takes the damp towel on his shoulder and dabs the cuts on his skin.

He remains silent and you move to sit down on your bed, the awkward squeak filling the already high-tension atmosphere, thick enough to make your ears pop like you’re in an airplane too far up in the sky.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly, drawing his eye. 

He hums and steps into your bathroom, washing off his hands. 

You frown at his lack of response, “Are you really going to pout this whole time? Because honestly, it’s beneath you, Robert.” You lean forward, watching as he walks out of the bathroom, still half naked, still silent. 

The silence is beginning to slowly kill you, especially when he looks this good, water droplets running down his chiseled torso from a hot shower. You didn’t let your mind wander because if the reaction your body is giving from the image before you was any indication, you want him. He walks in the room once again, mouth in an amused yet firm line. 

In actuality, he was ashamed of himself. Not so much of you. He would’ve left as that despair overcame him back in that bar. He would’ve left you there and abandoned his mission, leaving you to be hurt. If it hadn't been for those men, you could’ve been killed and it would be his fault. He alerted Waller of the attack, making up a lie about the two of you going for a walk at night and getting ambushed there rather than at a club. There’s a hit on each of those men being taken out as we speak as well as a search for their boss. Even though that still got him chewed out. He couldn’t imagine what she’d do to him if she found out the truth.

Robert walks slowly towards you, leaning against the bed frame, gesturing for you to continue. You watch him, distracted, as he wraps a bandage around his knuckles.

“I shouldn’t have kissed her to get a rise out of you, that was hurtful,” you exhale your words, quiet enough he wouldn’t be able to hear you if you weren’t within a breath of one another. You hang your head, “And it was stupid to go out in the first place when I am in this much danger. I could’ve been killed, and you could have been hurt. I’m sorry.”

He represses a laugh at the idea of him getting hurt, when the two of you both know that would never happen. But as the silence from him grows thicker, the more you start to ramble.

“Okay, this silent treatment isn’t going to work for much longer. I don’t know what game you’re playing, but you need to stop.”

He gives you a look that says ‘make me’. But you both know you couldn’t if you tried, and vice versa. He thinks of you as a siren, one of those alluring creatures in old sailor tales that lured unsuspecting men to their painful deaths. As if he has no control of the way he feels about you. Which in a way he does, but he knows better. He knows better than to fall under your enchanting song, but he can’t help but be pulled beneath the surface of the water. 

Robert tenses when you move forward and the hoodie falls off one of your shoulders, revealing more of your chest, the smooth skin that lays there. 

His chest tightens when you look up at him and sigh.

“But thank you for saving me,” you say, both because you think that’s what he wants to hear but also because you mean it, you wouldn’t be here at all if he didn’t come with you.

He licks his lips and nods his head in simple recognition. He appreciated the apology, truly he did, but a part of him enjoyed the way you continued to ramble on, so he remained silent. This was an old interrogation tactic he learned when he served, keeping quiet always got people talking. He looks down at you and leans to meet your face, hands on either side of you. 

“I don’t know what else you wish for me to say,” you admit quietly, fiddling with your hands.

He didn’t know either but whatever you would say, he would listen.

“So I take it you’re not mad anymore?” you infer from his relaxed posture, heart beating out of your chest, fast enough that it catapults to your throat. 

He tilts his head down so he’s an inch before your mouth, breath fanning over your face. when he tugs you up to your feet, hands gripping the sides of your waist when he pulls you close. Your heartbeats began to sync up, chest to chest.

“I’m fucking furious, sweetheart.”

You meet his eyes, looking up in that seductive stare of yours you never knew you were capable of until him, and close the distance, kissing him lightly. His arms falter by your side and it’s the first time you’ve seen him hesitate, losing his cool. It’s the most gentle thing he’s ever experienced, everything in his life being forced, hostile, and malicious, while your soft lips against his are anything but. You kiss him like he’s not the monster he thinks himself to be. 

“Then let me make it up to you.”

“Fuck,” he grips your sides harder, palm moving to push you closer with his hand flat against the small of your back. “We shouldn’t.”

You search his face for uncertainty, but all you sense is a profound sense of clarity, in the both of you. “I know.”

“Will you regret this?”

You shake your head, hand against his cheek, “No.”

His dark eyes fall to your lips, pupils filling his dark brown irises, lust blown, “You’re so good, baby. You’re too good for me.”

Before you can tease him about the new nickname and object to that, his lips have crashed against your own. His hand slides up to cup the side of your face, drinking you in with his intoxicating kiss. You hum, content, against his feverish mouth and he opens it, vulnerable and on display. You feel his guard still up, tense and calculated, so you rest your hand against his chest. You press a kiss to his eyelid, his cheek, his nose, his chin, his jaw, his neck. He softens beneath you, groaning aloud as his hands tighten. 

“You don’t need to be afraid with me,” you whisper to him, tender fingers trailing down his shirtless chest, hot skin against hot skin. It’s enough to make you sweat.

He exhales and captures your bottom lip with his own, holding your face in both of his hands. The kiss grows heated and rushed, like you’re running out of time, as if at any moment those men would come back and find you and take you away from him again. His tongue expertly works with your own, licking the pout of your bottom lip, and coaxing you open. He slides his hand down between your legs, dipping his finger to find the slick in the middle of your thighs. You moan into his mouth, his other hand at the back of your neck when he buries his face in your shoulder. He kisses you there, the crook where your neck meets your collarbone, that damned sensitive spot. You succumb to his touch. His beard tickles your skin and you gasp when he sucks hard, a bruise forming.

You breathe a laugh, “Everyone will see if you leave a mark,” you tug on his hair when you thread it through his coarse curls. 

He falls under your spell and there’s something so ironically beautiful about this trained assassin with a heart of gold and the scars to show for it, being so open with you.

His hands, his entire life, have been forced to be instruments of death and violence. But as they slide down your figure, holding your face, and pulling you into him, they’re his greatest gift. He’s surprisingly tender with you. 

But then he has enough and pushes you down on the bed, arms trapping you on both sides.

He responds bluntly, “I don’t care.”

You part your legs for him and he releases a shaky breath. He slowly unzips your sweatshirt and it falls off you just as you do the same and tug his towel down. Both of you are bare before the other as you take a moment to drink each other in. You were just as, if not more, beautiful than he imagined you to be. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he says quietly as his hand drapes down the line of your figure. He touches you how someone would handle a glass vase filled with flowers. 

You take his face in both of your hands and kiss him, “So are you.” 

“I don’t think you know what you do to me, baby.” His hand finds your breast and squeezes while he kisses your neck.

You moan when he uses his other hand to grip your neck, thumb against your pulse point, “If it’s anything like how I feel right now, then yes, I do.”

He lifts his head up to watch your face as he chokes you, softly so he doesn’t hurt you but hard enough to play with your breath. His thumb opens your mouth and your legs tremble. 

“So I take it you’re into choking, my love?” You nod excitedly, unable to speak, and his grip tightens. 

You let out a squeak and he releases, face etched with worry, kissing your neck where he touched you. “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry.” 

You shake your head and smile comfortingly, “No, baby, I’m okay. I’ll tap out if it’s too rough, I promise,” you tease.

His grumbling voice deepens, “Good... because, darling, right now all I want to do is bury my face in between those gorgeous thighs of yours.”

You inhale sharply when he opens your legs once again, looking up at you and you nod in consent.

“I need words, beautiful,” he smirks with his mouth just above your center. 

“Yes, please,” you breathe out and he responds with a swift lick to your pussy. He looks up at you and when he catches your eye, it’s as if the sensation grows stronger and your head hits your pillow.

“I’ve barely even touched you,” he mumbles into you and you feel his smug smile in your thigh. His fingers dip into you as he flattens his tongue and crooks them towards himself, you grip your sheets.

“Don’t... flatter yourself,” you sigh out. “I-it’s just been awhile.”

He removes his mouth and fingers from you, “So anyone can make you feel like this?”

You enjoy the feeling you get when he looks at you like that, his eyes dark and dominant, so you play along and nod. “Yes, in fact, I’ve had better.”

He licks his lips and gets up from the bed. He opens his drawer and you sit up to look what he grabs: a belt. Your heart beats excitedly in your chest even though you know you shouldn’t be. He gets back on the bed and climbs over you.

Robert looks at you, “Hands.”

You extend them to him wordlessly, watching as he ties your wrists together and puts them over the bedpost so you’re trapped there, unable to move.

“Now,” he holds himself above you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “You’re to stay tied up until I say so, anything like that again and they get tighter. Nod if you understand me.”

You nod emphatically. You had never seen this side of Robert before, so in control and not afraid to go too far, it was so unbelievably sexy. 

The best part was he didn’t tie it tight enough, afraid of hurting you, so you could easily slip out your hands at any moment.

He kisses, painfully slow, down your chest and wraps his lips around your nipple. He swirls his tongue around the erect bud and you gasp, desperate to touch him. He looks up at you from you chest as he switches to the other, massaging the unattended one as he sucks, the pleasurable feeling overwhelming you. So much so you have to clench your thighs together, longing for some sort of relief for the tension building in your abdomen.

“Baby, please,” you whine, squirming beneath him.

He shuts you up with a bruising kiss while his hand slips down to enter you, two fingers in already. He pumps them in and out of you before sliding back down the expanses of your body and letting his mouth latch onto your clit. He sucks hard and you stifle a loud moan that would surely alert everyone in the home of your arousal. He holds you down against the bed with a palm flat against your stomach as you begin to lift your pelvis. His tongue enters you while his fingers take over, stimulating you with gentle rubs and flicks. But just before you feel that euphoric release, his actions cease and you’re left hot and flustered. 

“Robert,” you look at him with a deep frown.

He grins, “Y/n...”

You blow hair out of your eyes, “I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” He puts his lips near your ear, “Are you ready?” You nod as he pushes himself inside you and you bite back a moan into his shoulder. 

You finally have enough, slip your hands out, and he pinches his brow, unable to hide his shock before you bring him down to press your lips against his. He melts into you, arms wrapped around you while he holds you close, filling you out in all the right places. He quickens his pace and you whine into his mouth, nails digging into his skin. You wrap your legs around his torso and he hits you so nicely. He was right, it’s the best you’ve ever had. He rises and looks at you, lips swollen and red from kissing, eyes clear and pupils large, and face flushed with heat. Your hair is in messy tendrils at all angles and you’ve never been more attractive.

“You’re doing so good,” he praises in your ear, placing kisses across your jaw. “Taking my cock so well.”

You whimper and his movements stiffen as he approaches release and so do you, walls tightening around him. He reaches down and rubs your clit with his expert fingers. You finish together, mouths open and hands all over each other’s bodies. It overcomes you in a tingling, perfect sensation, it continues on, leaving you aching and wanting more.

He rubs his knuckles over your cheek, softly and adoringly he looks at you. You tuck yourself into his arms under the blankets. Everything you both have wanted for a long time, laying right in front of you.

“Still want to make me not walk?” you tease, looking up at him.

He kisses your eyelids and you giggle, “Fuck yes.”

Part 2?

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[jungwonenthusiast]

Friends Don't Lie Ch. 1

Pairing: Jungwon x reader

Warnings for this chapter: underage drinking and smoking, mention of porn

Chapter word count: 2k

Based on: Stranger Things

Sunoo

“Can we play please?” Sunoo pleads, tugging at Sunghoon's sleeve.

“No, you’re not a baby.” he rolls his eyes.

“Who said d and d was for babies?” Sunoo scoffs and plops onto the couch.

“Everyone,” Jay says while trying on one of Jungwon’s jackets. “Even Niki doesn’t play anymore.”

Sunoo groans. “You guys are boring.”

“I’ll play with you.” Jake ruffles his hair.

“We need at least four people.” he whines.

“You guys play, we’re gonna go to the drive-in.” Niki says.

“And do what? Makeout with people and get gonorrhea?”

“That’s not how STDs work, dumbass.” Jay laughs.

“Whatever,” Sunoo rolls his eyes again.

“It’ll be fun man, just come with us.” Jungwon grabs at his arm. “Plus you like scary movies.”

“It’s Videorome, isn’t that movie about porn?” Sunoo frowns.

“Just come,” Jungwon begs. “I’m gonna be the only one without a chick, you have to keep me company.”

“I’m just gonna go home, Heeseung hyung will be mad if I stay out.” Sunoo stands up and slings his backpack over his shoulder.

“You gonna bike home?” Jake asks while spritzing cologne on his neck.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Sunoo says while making his way up the basement stairs.

“See you.”

“Bye Ddeonu.” Jay teases.

Sunoo walks by Mrs. Yang who’s cleaning up the kitchen.

“Bye Mrs. Yang, thank you for dinner, it was delicious.” he smiles at her.

“Of course Sunoo-shi, are you going home now? I thought you boys were going to the drive in?”

He shrugs. “Yeah but I figured I should go home so that my hyung doesn’t worry.”

She smiles and pats his head. “Such a sweet boy, tell him I said hi alright?”

He nods and heads out the door.

It’s pitch black out and the air feels dry.

Sunoo mounts his bike and starts to peddle home, but something moving in the corner of his eye catches his attention.

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Jungwon

Jungwon feels bad. He hates feeling this way. It’s eating at his conscience.

“Why are you guys so mean to Sunoo?” Jungwon says while steering his Camaro.

“What are you talking about?” Jay lights a cigarette and Jungwon slaps it out of his hand.

“Don’t smoke in here, my mom will kill me.” he scolds.

Jay rolls his eyes and throws it out the window.

“It’s just our way of showing affection.” Sunghoon says with Niki sitting on his lap. The car doesn’t have nearly enough seats to fit all of them, but they make it work.

“You need help if you think that’s what affection is.” Jungwon grumbles.

Jake shakes his shoulder. “Loosen up Jungwon, he knows we love him.”

“I hope.” he replies.

Jungwon always wishes he could be nicer to Sunoo. Everytime he sees him he thinks, I should compliment Sunoo or tell him that I appreciate him. But he never does and he hates himself for it.

Jungwon parks in their usual spot.

“I’m gonna go try to con us some beers.” Jay says before hopping out the car.

“Don’t get arrested.” Sunghoon jokes.

Jake rolls down the window to chat with the girls next to them.

Jungwon slumps into his seat. Something feels wrong. They go to the drive in all the time, but something feels off. Everything feels, sounds, and smells the same. But there’s a tinge of pain in Jungwon’s heart. Maybe Jay’s cigs are starting to get to me, he thinks, but he knows that he’s lying to himself.

“Can you just go to her car?” Sunghoon groans. “We exist too you know?”

“Fine,” Jake opens to car door and merrily makes his way to her Ford.

Jay comes jogging up to the car with two cans of beer in each hand. “I am incredible.”

“Indeed you are.” Sunghoon reaches out for one. Niki does too but Jay pulls his hand away.

“No way man.” Jay chuckles and Niki groans.

“I’m literally taller than you.”

“And I weigh more,” Jay says. “No beer until you’re seventeen.”

Jay hands Jungwon a can and he reluctantly cracks it open. He never liked beer but he figured he needed it today.

He lets the bitter substance go down his throat. He holds his breath before swallowing so that he can’t taste it.

Jungwon watches the movie in a daze. The alcohol has gone to his head and everything feels calmer despite the gore being displayed on the screen.

“Shit, it’s eleven thirty.” Jake says. “I’ll drive us home, you’re all too drunk.”

“I can drive.” Jungwon insists.

“No you can’t.” Jake pulls him up by the arms and guides him to the backseat.

Jungwon rests his head on his hand as Jake drops everyone off.

“Alright get up Won, we’re here.” Jake parks the Camaro in the driveway.

“I’m tired.” Jungwon whines and gets up sluggishly.

“You’re such a lightweight.” Jake chuckles and helps him to the door. “Get to your room before your parents see you.”

“Roger that.” Jungwon mumbles and tries to sober up before heading through the door.

The stairs moan underneath his feet as he quietly climbs them. He can hear Jooyoung chatting on the phone as he walks to his room.

He changes into pajamas and heads to the bathroom. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are half open.

“Damn, I am a lightweight.” he says while observing his face in the mirror.

He splashes water on his face and rakes his hands through his hair.

The bathroom light flickers. He furrows his brow.

“I thought dad fixed that last week.”

He washes up quietly and knocks on Jooyoung’s door.

“What?” she calls out.

He creaks the door open. “Don’t be on the phone for too long noona, mom will get mad.”

She rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t need to know, don’t be a snitch.”

“I never am.” he sighs and closes the door.

He climbs into bed and turns to look at the photo on his nightstand. It’s him and the gang at seventh grade graduation.

Jay is smiling big and towering over the rest of them. He was always the tallest among them and Jungwon was dead jealous.

Jake’s arm is slung around Jungwon and Jungwon’s arm is around little Sunoo. Sunoo’s smile is bright and cute. His suit jacket is too big for him, he probably borrowed it from Heeseung.

Jungwon still remembers the day he and Sunoo met. It was the first day of kindergarten. Sunoo was alone on the swing set, staring at his feet. Jungwon had a few friends that he met in preschool but he wondered what the harm was to have one more. He asked Sunoo if he wanted to be friends. It was the best decision he ever made.

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“Breakfast!” Jungwon’s mom calls out as he pulls on a striped polo.

He skips down the stairs and sits down at the dining table.

“Have you seen Sunoo? Heeseung called this morning.” Mrs. Yang says while handing him a plate of waffles, bacon, and eggs.

“No, I thought he biked home.” Jungwon cocks a brow while pouring syrup over all of his food.

“That’s disgusting.” Jooyoung remarks while taking a seat next to him.

“Your face is disgusting.” he jeers.

“Well make sure he’s at school today okay? Heeseung sounded really worried.” Mrs. Yang sits down next to her husband.

“Does he think he got kidnapped or something? As if anyone would want him.” Jooyoung snickers.

“Fuck off, that’s not funny.” Jungwon says.

“Language.” Mr. Yang says sternly.

“She’s being an ass.” Jungwon rolls his eyes.

“What did you just call me?” Jooyoung’s head snaps towards him.

“Whatever.” he dismisses her.

She shoves his shoulder. “No, say it again.”

“Stop it! Both of you!” Mrs. Yang yells. “Can we not have one peaceful breakfast?”

“I can, I don’t know about her though.” Jungwon grumbles.

“I’ll kill you.” Jooyoung grits her teeth.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Jungwon replies.

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Sunoo’s not at school.

“Do you think he’s sick or something?” Jake wonders.

“That doesn’t make sense though, his mom said he never came home last night.” Jungwon chews on his pencil.

“Maybe he went to someone’s house.” Jay suggests and Jungwon gives him a look.

“Who’s house would he have gone to? We’re his only friends.”

Jay shrugs. “Maybe he has a secret lover.” Sunghoon chuckles.

“Why aren’t you guys taking this seriously? Something could have happened.” Jungwon crosses his arms.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Nothing bad ever happens in this shit town anyway.” Jake says right as Mr. Jones walks into the classroom.

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Jungwons heart drops further and further into his stomach as the day goes on with no sign of Sunoo.

The boys are playing basketball during p.e when Principal Coleman and a policeman walk into the gym.

“I wonder who’s weed they found.” Jay jokes but his smile diminishes as the two men approach them.

“Gentlemen we need to speak to you,” Principal Coleman says, “outside that is.”

They all give each other nervous looks but follow suit. Jungwon can feel eyes on his back as he makes his way out of the door.

“Do you know what route Sunoo takes to get home?” the chief says. He towers over them and his biceps look the same width as Jungwon's thighs.

“Yeah, he takes Mirkwood.” Jungwon replies quickly.

“Don’t fucking call it that anymore.” Jay rolls his eyes.

“What the hell is Mirkwood?” the man says and crosses his arms. “Stop messing around, this is serious.”

“It’s where Cornwallis and Kerley meet.” Jake says.

“Why do you call it Mirkwood?” the cop says, unimpressed.

“It’s from The Hobbit.” Jungwon says and Jay shoves his shoulder.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.” Jungwon exclaims.

“So what happened to Sunoo?” Sunghoon says plainly. “Where is he?”

“We’re not sure, he’s probably at his Dad’s-”

“Why would he go there, his dad’s a cock.” Jay argues.

“His dad sucks.” Sunghoon says under his breath.

“Enough, let me do my job alright?” the cop says, exasperated.

“We can help look for him, we know all the places he likes to go.” Jungwon says with hopeful eyes and Niki nods.

“Yeah, we can help.” Jake says.

“No,” the cop shakes his head. “After school you are all to go home, and if I see any of you searching around, I’ll have you in shackles. Is that clear?”

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“We have to.”

“What if we get caught?”

“Then we run.” Jay says while packing a backpack of supplies.

“You think we can out run him?” Jungwon gets up and pulls a jacket on.

“Of course we can, that dude was huge.” Niki says while chugging down a Coke.

“Don’t drink that,” Sunghoon tsks. “You’ll have to pee.”

“I’ll just piss in the woods.” Niki rebuttals.

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The sun had set an hour ago and the stars were twinkling bright.

“Where are you boys going?” Mrs. Yang asks while watching tv on the couch.

“Party.” Jungwon says quickly.

“With backpacks?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Uhm, yeah.” Jungwon nods and she giggles.

“You’re not a good liar Jungwon-ah. Have fun, don’t be stupid out there.” she says and they happily head out the door.

Jungwon drives to Mirkwood with his headlights off. He couldn’t risk getting caught, that cop scared the shit of him.

“There’s a barricade.” Jake says quietly.

“Yeah,” Sunghoon says while getting out of the car, pulling his flashlight out of his backpack. “Shit, it’s raining.” Jay wipes a raindrop off of his cheek.

Jungwon takes his flashlight out and pulls his hood over his head.

They hop over the blockade and venture into the dense woods.

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It’s pouring at this point and their hoods are only making things worse.

They can’t even hear their footsteps over the sound of crashing rain.

“What are we supposed to be looking for?” Jake asks.

“Anything, his bike, his jacket, him.” Jay says.

Jungwon was starting to regret this decision. They’ve been walking for what seemed like hours with no clue of Sunoo.

“Maybe we should turn back,” Jungwon says. “This isn’t working.”

“No,” Jay says. “We need to keep looking, cops miss shit all the time.”

“Hold on hold on,” Jake stops in his tracks.

“What?” everyone asks.

“Shut up, do you hear that?” he says and they all try to open their ears. There’s rustling coming from ahead. Something is coming towards them.

“Fuck.” Jungwon whispers and grabs onto Jay's arm.

They all lift their flashlights to find a human in nothing but an oversized yellow shirt, breathing heavily and squinting from the lights blinding their eyes.

[kaypeace21]

Will and the car on fire (theories)

*this is just under the assumption this is Will in the pic and not some other character. Which is still very possible .

Why it could be Will (it's for sure possibly not)

But, most of the rebuttals saying it's not Will are iffy. Cause we really don't have much evidence to point to any 1 character. Like the hair counterargument: that the hair is too long to be Will's .Will's s4 body double has a similar hair tuff on the back of his neck. And we know st uses camera shots of the back of Will's neck/silouette ,in past seasons . So doing so here could make sense. And Will of course is the most associated with fire: using fireball for Will the wise in s1 (3 times), the will the wise drawing from s2 had flames on his cloak, Will being being burned in s2,etc.

So...Will looking at lightning. And (Will?) looking at fire. Both have a dark full body sillhouete and red in the forefront .

We also see this character is possibly wearing a watch like Will?

And i've been hearing this a lot here ... but southern california (where the Byers are) does have a lot of trees lol. Not sure why people think otherwise.But, regardless a trip from cali to Hawkins would most certainly have some forrest.

*Also, any movies I’ll be mentioning (in the theories , below) were stated to be inspiration for ST.

So theories...

Theory 1) It's Joyce's car ( and it was rigged  to explode/look like an accident by Brenner or Lonnie). And Will wasn't there but sees it in a nightmare cause it's already happened/or it's a dream vision of the future.

Evidence:  CAR TROUBLES: Joyce’s car model was infamous for exploding in car accidents-being sued by the state of Indianna before the start of the series. We also have Alexi tell murray about a way to cause cars to explode-and turn people into dust (and make it look like an accident). Brenner’s name means “to burn” and he already hurt 1 mother to keep a subject -so not out of the realm of possibilities for him to hurt Joyce (and make it look like an accident to try and get Will and or el). 

In s3, we have Jonathan and Hopper try and fix  the car-and after this cars explode with people inside. Jonathan lifts the car hood- and notices someone rigged nancy’s car . Than,  right after,Billy’s car lights on fire with him inside. With Hopper (he also lifts the car hood) and joyce barely escapes the lit car (but she may not be so lucky next time).

 We also have Joyce tell Will 3x she’s going to be ok... which is a bit overkill if she will be OK ... 

And, notice during the hoodlift we see Will observing- which is similar to Alexi watching and warning them before hand that the car (with Joyce inside) will explode. So it’s possible foreshadowing since Will may predict the future and was was paralleled to Alexi.Alexi ‘can we watch lonnie toons now?. Will : can we play d&d now?

movie inspos: 

It’s hinted s4 will be around Will’s b day: In gilbert grape- Arnie after his b day, has his mom die, and a fire was stagged that lit his mom on fire. ( Before this,Arnie was also raised by his older brother Gilbert cause his dad wasn’t around). stoker-  kid’s parent dies in staged car ‘accident’ on her bday (this allows ab*sive relative closer to kid-since dead parent banned him from seeing kid). The kid  was taught how to hunt, by dad. And is also a painter and bullied at school (like Will). what dreams may come-painter blames themselves for fam dying in freak car accident- the relative was getting a present for them when it happened. so they blame themselves. The descent- also had (right before a b day, the main character’s fam dying in a car accident) .And the sole survivor/family member of the deceased hallucinates a shadow chasing her in a empty hospital hall. Get out-photographer (jonathan)blames himself for mother dying in car accident.

There’s also a lot of other films where the kid (for no logical reason) blames themselves for their mom’s/parent’s death: goodson, dream catcher, analyse this,etc. Of course ... this could simply relate to max and el having survivors guilt after the mall killed their family members (in a fake ‘mall fire’). However, a fake out fire causing  family to die (in s3)  could be foreshadowing for it actually happening in s4?

rigged car explosions: scarface -have guys try and bomb a car with kids and parent inside. backdraft -guy raised by older brother had 1 parent die in explosion and sees the freak explosion occur- later in the film someone rigs a car to explode and masks it as a  freak car accident. Same thing occurs in godfather- he sees family member die in rigged car explosion. The dark knight- rigs car to explode. batman v superman- calls superman a demon and says they need to burn the witch that bore him (aka his mom).

dreams (if in the past): Never ending story (reffed in s3)- starts with kid with bowl cut saying he had another dream about his mother who died. Peanut butter solution- kid has visions in dreams about people he knew who died in fire.  this next movie (emily rose) is  said to be Joyce byers inspo according to Winona - has (kid with 2 personalities) have nightmares from the past  of her and her mother burning in a car fire. while screaming/sleep walking she burns windows with her hands -accidentally using her powers. Some people suspect the videogame “life is strange’ is show inspo too- it has character named max caufield with a ‘never maxine rule’, etc. Anyways in the game prequel queer chloe, who plays d&d, would have dreams/nightmares of her nice parent’s car accident . Despite , chloe not being present for the car accident. After the parent’s death,  she’s stuck with her mean step dad.

dreams (if predicting the future): Will says in s3 Will the wise can see into the future. We also see Will/Will the wise via a dream predict Hopper was in danger-saying  to Joyce “he’s going to die”.  In ‘12 monkeys’ and ‘Rebel Robin st novel’ they mention the myth of cassandra- who could make accurate future prophecies , but was cursed to never be believed by those she warned. In 12 monkeys- he tries warning others of a dreaded event in future- and it’s dismissed as  him being mentally ill. Since, Will’s other abilities were dismissed as his ptsd in s2-and with the Byers fam having a family history of mental illness (they may not believe him over such a prediction). In ‘the ring’-the  movie opens with the guardian saying the boy is drawing the car accident that killed his mom -as a psychological coping mechanism. Only for the teacher to say he made that drawing before his mother’s death (and it’s revealed later the boy is psychic). Terminator 2- sarah conner says she is having future visions, which include explosions, and everyone dismisses it as her being schizophrenic. Like how in s2 a scientist said about Will “let’s see if this boy is a wizard or a schizo”.

If joyce survives the accident she may be hospitlized (and unable to have legal custody). In black swan the girl (with 2 personas) -blames herself for what happened to Winona Ryder’s character (who is in a coma after a car accident. They had had a verbal fight before the accident). In girl with the dragon tattoo- the main character (who is compared to a phoenix and dragon) has 1 parent burned in a fire- and after this her kind guardian is hospitilized so they can no longer take care of her- and she is placed with an ab*sive foster dad (who resembles her bio dad). If Joyce was in a coma - it would further parallel her to terry- and be another willel parallel.

 if dead: Tokyodrift- mom loses custody, and dad who is a mechanic and abandoned the family years ago, later gets custody. Super 8-mom dies in freak accident- douche dad gets custody. Book of henry-mom dies pre-film, ab*sive dad got custody. Outsiders- parents die in car wreck, relative gets custody of teen who he slaps etc.In black swan-girl who blames herself for Winona’s accident is stuck living with ab*sive parent. good son- mom dies, stuck with violent and manipulative relative after this.

Of course-joyce may be fine. And Lonnie may just visit for Will’s b-day and ruin shit that way.

Theory 2) It's an undercover government car that Will uses his powers against in self defense... or in anger after they hurt someone he loves.

Evidence:

Joyce about ‘Will the wise’: If he’s so wise, why does he need the fireballs? Why can’t he just outsmart the bad guys? Will: cause the bad guys are smart too. Joyce: so he needs the fireballs? Will: Yeah, to burn them to a crisp.

* the fact-this flashback happens at a funeral of a Byers, could also be narratively significant as foreshadowing.

Gov agents in s1 are  called “the bad-men” so Will may use fireball on “the bad-guys”(government agents) . Fire has been used on all the other adversaries relating to the upsidedown-so why not the gov agents (aka human villains) next? 2 movies on the inspo list caught my attention: firestarter & carrie (which are both stephen king adaptions with psychic kids who have fire abilities). 

Firestarter- she has pyrokineseis (firepowers) . And unlike every other psychic in the film- she is the only psychic that doesn't get nose bleeds (aka mini brain hemorages) from using her powers (Will). We know el and kali gets nose bleeds.  

(Anger): She only unleashes her fire abilities on gov agents after they kill her parent...

*And uses a literal “fireball” on them.

Could also be another willel parallel. kali about the US gov:" They took your mother away from you!" El str*ngles man from gov agency that incapacitated her mom . El before str*ngling him: " you hurt mama".

(self defense): While  in carrie  she kills people who tried to run her over with a car. And causes the car to explode.

Also, in s3 Steve does technically cause a car to explode to protect Nancy from being run over by a car (so maybe foreshadowing?). I believe, tumblr user ‘bran-who-writes-theoretically” was the first to point out the Carrie/car on fire parallel.

* This car scene could also be added to the list of Willel parallels. El  in s1 uses her powers to flip a government-car upside down. And looks back at it. And it’s a ref to the film Et. So Will causing a government -car to explode and flip upsidedown (referencing carrie) could be a parallel. 

Of course El flipped over a car in s3 to attack the Soviet agents and protect her friends too ( right before losing her powers). Sort of like Steve using his car as a weapon in s3 to protect his friends. so who knows, if not Will, maybe El (wearing a ponytail) got her telekenesis back and she flips the car and it explodes ? To be honest, I just find this explanation too boring, cliche, and predictable. And I still hypothosize the mindflayer took her telekensis (but not her other powers). Since in d&d mindflayers have ‘mage hand’ (what el is called) and ‘telekenesis’/ along with the ability to steal powers from other life forms. But, we’ll see...

Theory 3) The car flips (maybe caused by a deer jumping in the road) and it blows up after the crash- with Joyce inside. And maybe Jonathan survives it/ Will wasn’t there but had a nightmare /vision about it?

Evidence: in s1 Jonathan sees a dead deer that was hit by a car. This could be symbolic : because it related to Jonathan mentioning the hunting story with his dad and how he cried for a week cause he liked the film Bambi. Which in the film : Bambi (a deer) has his mother k*lled. And after his mother’s death, he’s taken in by his douchey dad who was M.I.A for most of his life ,until his mom passed away. And the hunters are the bad guys in the film . In ‘get out’ the photographer , Chris,blames himself for his mother dying in a car accident - and he sees a dead deer hit by a car -and the dying deer was used to symbolize the guilt he has over his mother’s  death. in ‘the long kiss goodnight’ a character is driving home with a friend- they swerve and hit a deer and 1 of them is ejected from the car into the forrest. But their friend is unconscious in the car and it quickly explodes on the road. The survivor turns and sees the car in flames- disoriented they stumble and kill the dying deer. And it’s left ambiguous if they were helping the deer end it’s pain or if it was vengeful-hunting (since it caused the car accident that killed their friend). Cause their face was emotionless from shock.

Even in the st novel "suspicious minds' rabbits- like jonathan was forced to kill on the hunting trip with his dad (around his b-day) represented the bond between mother and child.And the mother sacrificing herself for the baby-to not get k*lled (by Brenner).

-so maybe?? jonathan before he gets the pizza job/car (may have his car break down , like hinted it would in s3).

 So him and Joyce share the car (once his car stops working) and the accident happens while Jonathan is behind the wheel -with Joyce. And after this he gets the job at surfer boy pizza. Billy was a surfer boy and that memory was used to think about his mother who is no longer around (once he's stuck with his ab*sive dad after moving away from Cali). While Jonathan moved to Cali after his mom passed-maybe stuck with Lonnie.Jonathan's actor in recent pics has a blonde mullet - which sort of resembles joyce/Billy's og hair. This may be why he starts doing dr*gs - which is pretty out of character for him- but it could be a coping mechanism(like in the s4 films). One of many examples was 'enter the void'- the older brother was surrogate parent to their lil sibling and after a car accident k*lls his parents , he starts doing dr*gs to cope. Also ‘hunger games’ was on the list- and Katniss (who was a surrogate parent to her litle sibling, like Jonathan is to Will) in the sequel, saw her family die in an explosion. And it really broke her emotionally.

I've mentioned this before but Billy is used to parallel and foil Will and Jonathan. And it may be more than a ... what if Lonnie had custody scenario. But to show how Lonnie (like most ab*sers) will later bring out the worst in the kids (once he does have custody). Like how s3 has Will mimick lonnie with the baseball bat (and we see in s3 Billy being bullied by his dad to play baseball and flashbacks showing him mimicking Neil). I've also discussed how there's a theme with pretty much every character mimicking their parent- for better or worse.

Killing a deer would certainly hint at Jonathan's possible character regression (and mimicking Lonnie to a certain extent). if he not only blames himself for Joyce's death. But is also stuck with his ab*ser.

The animal k*lling motif , and after that, mimicking an a b*sive father is already shown with el. Brenner , in s1,tried to make her k*ll a cat (using her powers) and she refused (similar to the s1 rabbit hunting story of Lonnie forcing Jonathan to k*ll a rabbit ). But in s2, she uses her powers to k*ll a squirrel (and like a deer- it's typical hunting game). Than in s3 el does literally everything Brenner ever asked of her- she spies on people and repeats the words back (like brenner told her to do), she becomes a weapon to ‘fight the commies’ (which was said to be the reason he k*dnapped her in the first place), and when looking into the void to see the mf (she mirrors the words brenner told her - when he made her go into the void to face the demogorgan).

And some s4 movies are literally about being trapped in a house with your ab*ser and slowly losing your mind because of the ab*se and gaslighting- lighthouse , black swan , good son, are prime examples. But movies like scar face , girl with the dragon tattoo, and book of Henry touch on this theme a bit as well. And ordinary people- is about a guy who survived a vehicular accident but his relative in the same accident didn't- and it causes him alot of issues /survivor's guilt.

The shadowy figure could just be Will in the shot - seeing it in a dream before or after it happens?

Theory 4) Will sees a future vision or has his ’now memories’ of someone else's car.

Evidence: i guess the s4 shot parallels El (in s3) spying on Billy while he’s hurting Heather. During that spying scene: the shot is of El near Billy's car. So it’s possibly a diff willel parallel?

If not Will. Who knows ...if El’s telekenesis is gone maybe her spying abilities strengthened and look different because of it (and now she can see background details)?

Theory 5) it's Lonnie's car and Will escapes from the trunk and uses his powers in self defense

Evidence: I’m pretty iffy on this one. This goes back to how people suspected Lonnie took Will in s1 (and could be foreshadowing). Even the recent rebel robin book-has characters say Lonnie probably took Will. Jonathan suspected Will may be at Lonnie’s - so checks Lonnie’s car trunk (to see if Will is there). We also see how the mf in s3, knocked people out by dr*gs/str*ngulation, ties them up, and throws them in a trunk (to k*dnap them). Or how the cops raided jonathan’s trunk- which had stuff to track the demogorgan (and the demogorgan parallels Lonnie) . And after looking in Jonathan’s trunk-they suspected something fishy is going on.

*heather was described as “another me” by Will- who was thrown in the trunk.

movies: “tangled” was on the s4 list- and had an ab*sive parent later try and kidnap their kid ,and that parent ends up dying. in girl with the dragon tattoo (the girl associated with dragons & phoenixes-  lights her  ab*sive bio dad on fire. In ‘drop dead fred’ (girl who is in love with childhood friend, named Mikey, who she met at age 5) lights a imaginary version of her ab*sive parent on fire - while in a trippy memory world. Chrissy accidentally lights her ab*sive relative (nickname “daddy”)  on fire in self defense- in a trippy hell memory scape. in ‘long kiss goodnight- the girl with 2 personalities (Will/will the wise) was kidnapped and put in a trunk and escapes by jumping into a quarry. Not sure if that could relate to a flashback or something else? like in ‘don’t breath’ the older sibling who essentially was a surrogate parent to the younger sibling-mentions how their dad left the family, and her parent would throw her in the trunk for hours as a punishment.

[mrkcore]

𝐄𝐏 𝟏: 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓 - 𝐥.𝐡𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: lee donghyuck x fem!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: college!au (cs - computer science major haechan, psychology major y/n)

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, slight angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): suggestive innuendo(s), infidelity, drinking

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

𝐚/𝐧: the first chapter of the and they were roommates! series :D send in an ask or comment here to be added to the taglist! (sorry for the delay, i have been really unproductive so uh, yeah)

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

you’ve been stuck with haechan for about a month. you’ve successfully avoided him for the majority of the time, he’s still a bit flirty, but he’s been pretty quiet too.

except for when he streams. did he mention that he was a streamer? unfortunately no, you had to find out the hard way.

“haechan, can you fucking tone it down?” you storm into his room after enduring half an hour of his screaming on a thursday night. “i have an essay due tomorrow and it’s 30 percent of my mar-”

you see a professional looking mic, webcam, and another monitor with what seems like comments flowing in constantly on the screen.

“oh…” you trail off taking in all the equipment in front of you as haechan looks up at you.

“oh hey, sorry about that, jeno and renjun were being noobs and i needed to teach them a lesson, chat knows. i’ll keep it down, sorry.” he turns back to his game in front of him, completely unbothered.

“yeah.. uh sorry for barging in, thanks.” you say quickly and dash out his room, hearing the other voices from his headset laugh.

your face is hot, and you feel so embarrassed. 

anyways, lesson learned.

a few days later, you were complaining to your friend about haechan on a zoom call–as usual.

this time, however, she needed to spill the tea about her thoughts.

“ma’am, what is this tension,” she jokes. “i can feel it from miles away.”

“hey!” you snap back. “need i remind you that i have a boyfriend? and haechan? ew no, he gets on my nerves too much for that.”

“oh right, your boyfriend.” she rolls her eyes.  “i think you need to visit him, you’re so uptight all the time, i’m gonna get wrinkles if you keep complaining to me about shit.”

“oh right, restrictions have been slightly lifted, i can probably go visit him.” you remember reading about it in the news.

“yep, go.” your friend sips on her iced coffee and you laugh.

the next day, you go through with your plan to go visit your boyfriend.

all prepped and ready and you were going to walk out the door before you hear haechan coming out his room.

“oh, good morning, i’ll be out for a bit, maybe the whole day.” you say to him.

“good morning.” he yawns. “look at you all dolled up and pretty, where you going?” he smirks as you roll your eyes.

“visiting my boyfriend,” you scowl out. “now if you’ll excuse me, i better get going.”

“oh great, hope you enjoy your time with him.” he smiles and you think he’s going to be nice for once. “don’t forget protection.”

you groan. of course he had to ruin it.

“thanks haechan.” you yell behind you as you walk out the door.

it takes around 1 hour to drive to your boyfriend’s university, and an additional 10 minutes to his apartment, and you’re giddy the whole time. 

you’ve missed human interaction. 

and no, lee haechan does not count. 

you’ve missed the warmth and fuzzy feeling of an embrace, of having someone’s arms around you, protecting you from the outside world. 

you couldn’t wait to get cuddles.

hopefully your boyfriend likes this surprise.

gleefully walking into the building, pressing in the password to his apartment complex. completely missing the creaking coming from his room, but as you entered, you hear the voice of another person, who was definitely not your boyfriend.

you stomp right up to the door, and push it open.

there’s two people in the bed, and your eyes glower at your boyfriend.

“what?” the girl screams, scrambling to cover herself.

“babe?” your boyfriend is frozen on the spot as the girl looks at him as if he just said the most bizarre thing ever.

“babe?” she seems angry now. “you said you were single? what the fuck?”

“yeah, i think he lied to you.” you say coldly. “do you have anything to confess, ‘babe’?”

“you’re a douche, what the fuck.” she gets up and gets dressed. “i’m so sorry, he told me he was available, i would literally never agree to sleep with anyone who’s taken.”

“yeah, it’s okay.” you say, kind of relieved, and the two stare are you like you’re an alien. “at least now i know what type of person i was dating.”

and you turn to walk out.

“wait, babe please.” your ex tries to run after you. “y/n, let me explain.”

“no need to, we’re over.” you turn to say. “you need a ride?” you ask the girl.

“yeah sure.” she says. “don’t call me.”  

“babe please, can we talk this out?”

you couldn’t believe it. you drove 1 hour to see him and he has the audacity to pull this shit and expect you to just easily forgive? nope, lesson learned.

pfft, and he said long distance would work. 

“no we can’t, now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere else to be.” you grab the girls arm and walk out the door, slamming it in front of your ex’s face before he can catch up.

“do you have any plans for the rest of today?” you ask the girl after entering your car. she shakes her head while you smile. “great, any bar or night club recommendations you have?”

“uhh, bar then nightclub?” she suggests. 

“i like the way you think.” you giggle. “i’m y/n btw.”

“yina.” she smiles back at you as you pull out of the parking lot. 

a few hours later, and way too many drinks in, you’re at a table with yina, spilling your deepest secrets about your relationship with your ex.

“can you believe he made me wash his socks?” you take a sip before continuing. “and with my hands too!”

“what? that’s disgusting!” she listens to you rant in disbelief.

“yeah, he said that his socks were precious and the washing machine was too harsh on the cotton or some crap.” you snicker as you recall the other stupid stuff he told you. “ah the shit i did for love.”

“men are trash,” yina says. “cheers to that.” and you both down the rest of what’s left of your drink.

fast forward another 2 hours, you’re wasted. absolutely wasted. 

yina held you back a little bit, but its no use. you needed this.

“y/n, it’s like 11 pm, you’re drunk, i’m barely sober, i think we should call someone to come and get us.” yina tries to reason with you while you shake your head.

finally after 10 minutes of bickering, you finally agree.

“here’s my phone, you can call anyone.” you rest your head on your folded hands after handing her your unlocked phone. “anyone but haechan.” you start to doze off. “anyone but haechan…”

“hbbhng” you jolt up, feeling the warmth of your own bed. 

how did you get back home?

groaning, you feel your headache. you feel the vomit coming up your throat as you gag.

you almost fall trying to get out of your covers.

“woah there, be careful.” haechan is suddenly barging into your room, holding onto you so you don’t fall on your face, guiding you to your bathroom.

you’re too nauseous to wonder why he’s even helping you or even bother screaming at him like usual.

he pats your back soothingly as you vomit into the toilet.

“there you go, that’s it. i’ve got you.” he reassures you.

“what are you even doing helping me?” you’ve washed up and downed some water, you’re 100% sober now.

“wow,” haechan chuckles, rolling his eyes. “after saving your ass last night, this is the thank you i get?”

“what do you mean you saved me?” you’re genuinely confused by what he means.

“this yina girl called me from your phone, telling me that you’re blacked out drunk in a nightclub at 11:32 PM, on a saturday. asking me to come and get you.” he says, matter-of-factly. “i call a cab, get to the nightclub, haul your ass out the club, drive yina back home, and then us. where during our commute back, you wake up, start crying, and when we get home, you’re bawling about how your boyfriend cheated and you were a dumbass for thinking he would change. remember now?”

you’re in shock.

yina called haechan? you remember clearly that you told her not to, this is so embarrassing. you even cried about your ex to him? oh dear lord you wanted to crawl back into your room into a deep pit and never come out. 

haechan must’ve noticed your distressed expression because his face turns softer.

“hey hey hey, sorry, that was a bit mean. you just got out of a relationship, that was really inappropriate of me and i do not blame you for wanting to relax a bit.” he tries to comfort you once again. you’re in even more shock by his words. “honestly, me driving you back home, and taking care of you was the least i could do. it would have been so mean if i just left you guys there.”

you wanted to burst out into tears. 

this is the nicest thing you’ve heard in about 6 months.

unfortunately, haechan doesn’t know that.

“oh gosh, jheez, i’m not helping aren’t i.” he’s panicked by your emotional state. “uhm, to make it up to you, i’ll watch one of those scary movies with you?”

your tears instantly are sucked back into your eyes in excitement.

“really?” you ask, just making sure.

“yep, ahaha.” he laughs nervously, but happy to see your mood lighten up.

“you free tonight?” bouncing up and down practically.

“yeah…” haechan is a bit scared. “aren’t you going a bit too fast though, princess? you jut got out of a relationship.”

you gasp and slap him in the arm.

“okay okay! that was a joke. yeah i’m free, i have an essay due, but i’ll be done by 6.” haechan says.

“sounds good!” you b-line for the kitchen, your stomach is completely empty. “see you then haechan!”

oh how haechan regrets his offer.

6 o’clock rolls by, and you choose “the shining” to watch with haechan. anticipating the terror it would bring him. 

and you were right.

every jumpscare, even the smallest sounds, haechan would screech in fright. the last straw for him was the knock on your door.

“AHHHH!” he screams, almost knocking the popcorn out of your hands.

“calm down, dude.” you say, standing up to open the door.

to the unfortunate sight of your ex.

“y/n?” he says, softly.

“what are you doing here? how did you find out where i lived?” you were very sure you never gave him your dorm address.

“your friend gave it to me,” the eye bags he has are very evident. “listen, can we talk?”

“no?” haechan suddenly butts into the conversation. “you literally cheated on her, she doesn’t owe you anything.”

“who are you? her rebound?” your ex frowns. 

“her roommate, and if you even bothered to keep up with y/n, you’d know.” haechan returns the frown.

“it’s between me and y/n, you have no business telling us what to do.” your ex is getting more aggressive now.

“that’s funny, i was the one who was called to drive her home while she was out drunk, i was the one who listened to her talk about how she regretted believing you again, i was the one who held her hair back when she was vomiting this morning from her hangover.” haechan again returns the energy. “you tried to contact her, but she blocked your number and you had to get her address from her friend. you never even cared to ask her beforehand, and now you wanna try and show up to seem like you care? bullshit. now if you’ll excuse us now, we have a movie to finish.” he slams the door in his face and haechan surprises you for the millionth time today.

your ex bangs on the door for about 3 minutes before giving up, and you guys sit in silence as the movie still plays.

“hey haechan.” you try and start.

“AHHH!” he screams again, scaring you this time.

“JHEEZ BRO I WAS TRYING TO START A CONVO, CHILL OUT.” you scream back.

“okay, i’m fine, yeah sorry, continue.” haechan pants out.

“thanks for that.” you say, genuinely. “not even joking, you didn’t have to do that.”

“well i did, because that dude was a douche. literally having the guts to come over here and try and ask for forgiveness after he cheats. unbelievable.”

“yeah.” you fiddle with your fingers anxiously.

“i like this side of you,” haechan breaks the awkwardness. “you’re usually uptight, little-miss-perfect, and cranky, so i like this raw side of you.”

“mhm, i realized that now. sorry for being such a bitch.” you admit.

“no, i honestly deserve it. but i hope we can be friends now, it would be great to have real conversations with someone, you know?” he says.

“seriously?” you hit him in the chest as he chuckles.

“i’m joking! i swear. but seriously, friends?” he asks.

“yeah, friends.” 

and that’s where it started.

© mrkcore. 2021.

[sisterspooky1013]

Better Than Sex

Author: SisterSpooky1013

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 1666

Tagging: @today-in-fic

Read it on AO3

“Better Than Sex Cake” Mulder read aloud from the menu before looking across the table at Scully with his eyebrows raised in question.

They had just concluded an evening traipsing through an (alleged) actual ghost town, though no signs of ghosts were to be seen. Just a lot of graffiti, dirty mattresses and a used condom or two. Now they were sitting at the first diner they came across, Mo’s Café, and Mulder was considering the sex cake.

“Knock yourself out, Mulder, I’m sticking to coffee.”

“You aren’t curious as to whether this cake is, in fact, better than sex?”

“Well I’m sure it’s better than bad sex, but if it were better than great sex the population would die out because everyone would skip procreating and just eat cake.”

Mulder considered her statement. “Isn’t ‘bad sex’ somewhat of an oxymoron?”

She gave him an incredulous look. “Are you being serious?”

Now it was his turn to look incredulous. “The only bad sex is no sex, as far as I’m concerned.”

Scully shook her head ruefully. “Must be nice to be a man.”

Just then the waitress came by to take their order. Scully requested coffee and dry toast, while Mulder opted for coffee and the aforementioned sex cake. After she collected their menus and retreated to the kitchen, Mulder eyed Scully appraisingly, gaging her mood. Sometimes she was open and willing to talk about things of a personal or private nature, other times she kept her lips as tight as a steel trap. He suspected he might have a chatty Scully on his hands, and didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

“So, if I’m understanding correctly, Scully, there would be a circumstance under which you would choose a piece of cake over sex?”

She screwed up her mouth a little, not in consideration of how to answer the question, but whether to answer it at all. “Depends who the sex is with, I suppose, but yes, I could think of a few times where cake would have been a more enjoyable option.”

“Hm” was his only reply as he sat back against the seat of the booth, absorbing this information.

“Are you saying you’ve never had sex that was subpar enough that cake would have been better?”

He pulled in a deep breath and looked to the ceiling briefly, and she could imagine him running through his mental file of sexual encounters. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Is it wrong that I feel compelled to kick you right now?” She asked, just a hint of playfulness in her voice.

He laughed.“I’m not saying that every single time was Oscar-worthy, but even the worst was still better than some flour and butter.”

“And they say male privilege isn’t real” she deadpanned as the waitress came by to present them with two coffees, cake, toast and a tray of sugar and cream. She mixed the accoutrements into her cup while Mulder sipped his black, followed by a bite of the cake, which looked like a basic white cake with some kind of custard and whipped cream on top.

“This is pretty good, though I can’t say it lives up to its name” he said around the food in his mouth, pushing the plate towards her and holding out the fork suggestively. She took it and stabbed a small bite, meeting Mulder’s eye as she pulled the tines from between her lips. It was good, as most cake is, but nothing to write home about.

“Well?” He asked expectantly.

“Well what? She returned, wiping her finger at the corners of her mouth.

“Is it better than sex?”

She paused before answering, knowing that Mulder was going to keep picking at this until it got uncomfortable. He liked to do that, to see how far he could get her to go before she blushed and demanded they change the subject. He took immense pleasure in making her squirm, and even more in getting her to reveal something personal that he normally wouldn’t be privy to. Sometimes, she had as much fun indulging him as he did in goading her. She wasn’t above sharing something that she knew would shock him, just so she could see the look on his face. She liked that she could still surprise him.

“Not better than all sex, but certainly better than some of the sex I’ve had, regrettably.”

“What would make sex so bad that cake is better? I must know.”

“I think you can use your imagination, Mulder.”

“Come on, Scully, you could be saving some poor woman from ‘worse than cake’ sex with me in the future. Consider it an act of charity.”

She shook her head at him, but couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at her lips.

“Your answer lies in that drawer full of tapes that aren’t yours, Mulder.”

“How’s that?”

“Let’s see, sex starts when the man presents his erection and ends when he ejaculates. The woman howls like an animal no matter what he’s doing, though her orgasm is never mentioned. There is no foreplay. Would you like me to continue?”

He swallowed a mouthful of coffee he’d been holding, afraid he might choke. He’d never heard her speak so openly about sex before, especially not sex she had personally experienced, and though he’d been the one who initiated the conversation he was suddenly afraid he was going to have to walk out of this diner trying to hide a bulge in his slacks.

“Fair enough, Scully, but porn isn’t real. It’s like an action movie. No one actually hangs off the skids of a helicopter mid-air, it’s just fun to watch.”

“I’m glad to hear that you’re aware of that, Mulder, and I would implore you to spread the news to the rest of the male populace.” She punctuated her statement with a loud crunch into her toast.

Mulder’s mouth fell open slightly as he studied her, trying to tell if she was joking or embellishing.

“People really do that? Have sex like they do in porn? Men you’ve slept with?”

She rolled her eyes. “Mulder, if you’re going to sit here and tell me that you have never done that, even as a young man, I’ll have to call BS.”

He put his hands up in defense. “I’m not saying I emerged from puberty as Don Juan, but I don’t recall ever not being invested in my partner’s experience. I’m sure my skills were lacking at the outset, but I always tried.”

She looked at him derisively from under her eyelashes. “Well then, you really should get out there more, Mulder. Share your gift with the world.” Her voice was laden with sarcasm.

He laughed and ran his hand over the back of his neck. “How am I coming out to be the bad guy, here Scully? I’m not the one who gave you a ‘worse than cake’ lay.”

She smiled at him but her tone remained facetious “of course not, you’ve demonstrated that your skills in this area are unparalleled.”

“Damn straight!” He said with a slap of his palm on the table, and they both erupted into laughter.

They held eye contact as the laughter subsided, awkwardness descending over the conversation. He had made reference to the two of them having sex, which was a topic he’d only made innuendo about, never mentioned directly. Trying to break the tension, Scully finally spoke.

“Well, I guess you can see why I don’t bother dating.”

“I guess I can” he replied, swiping the last crumbs of cake off the plate with his finger.

“Why don’t you date, Mulder?” His expression registered surprise. “Or do you? I don’t want to be presumptuous.” She felt a pit in her belly at the idea that he may actually have a secret love life.

“No” he spat out, chuckling a little. “No, I definitely don’t date. It’s just too complicated I guess. I’m kind of a serial monogamist anyway.”

“Really?” Now it was her turn to be surprised.

“Yeah, for the most part. I’ve had a couple flings, but the vast majority of the women I’ve slept with I was in a relationship with. The emotional aspect is important for me.”

She studied him, imagining a version of Mulder who would be so considerate and giving. She didn’t need to imagine it, really, she’d seen it. While he was capable of being selfish and obtuse, he had also been incredibly tender and caring with her on many occasions. He had certainly shown a proclivity towards chivalry; opening doors for her, walking closer to traffic on the sidewalk, helping her into her coat or holding an umbrella for her. The idea that such gestures would extend into the bedroom was logical, but it still set off a stirring in her belly. In what other ways might he be so attentive to her needs? She swallowed the last of her coffee and tried not to think about it. Maybe later, but not here. Not now.

“Well, I hate to state the obvious here, Scully, but I don’t think you’re going to happen across the guy that will give you a 5-star experience if you never put yourself out there.” As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to kick himself; why the fuck was he encouraging her sleeping with other people?

She smiled demurely and shrugged “for now I get my thrills from ghost busting and the occasional slice of really good cake.”

He bobbed his head and smiled back, pulling out his wallet and setting his bureau credit card on the tabletop.

In truth, she had already happened across that guy. He was sitting in front of her at a shitty diner in the middle of nowhere. And while she hoped that she may enjoy that 5 star experience in the future, for now just being in his presence, laughing and seeking the answers to the mysteries of the universe together, that was better than sex.

[fazbear-ent-official]

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws

of aviation, there is no way a bee

should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry?

- Adam?

- Can you believe this is happening?

- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz.

- Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

- Hey, Adam.

- Hey, Barry.

- Is that fuzz gel?

- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school, three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

- Hi, Barry.

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

- Hear about Frankie?

- Yeah.

- You going to the funeral?

- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

- We are!

- Bee-men.

- Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of ...9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?

- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as...

Honey!

- That girl was hot.

- She's my cousin!

- She is?

- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.

- At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes?

- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

- What does that do?

- Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?" How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Check it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

- Wow. I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like

outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks!

- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were.

- I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Couple of Hive Harrys.

- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me

against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

- Oh, my!

- I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh?

- Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

- Maybe I am.

- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

- Well, there's a lot of choices.

- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just

move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

- I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

- You're gonna be a stirrer?

- No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

- We're starting work today!

- Today's the day.

Come on! All the good jobs

will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,

stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

- Is it still available?

- Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side.

- What'd you get?

- Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Couple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

- You want to go first?

- No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

- Any chance of getting the Krelman?

- Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what

do you think I should... Barry? Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch

in quadrant nine...

What happened to you? Where are you?

- I'm going out.

- Out? Out where?

- Out there.

- Oh, no!

I have to, before I go

to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

- Look at that.

- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you.

- OK.

You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

- That's awful.

- And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check.

- Nectar pack, check.

- - Wings, check.

- Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies, let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

LIES WITHIN YOUR WORDS || 2 ||

summary: Sierra left, but she didn’t quite leave😂 (you’ll see)

pairing: basically miguel galindo x black!OC

genre: errrr pettiness? fluff, maybe angst

word count:

AN: DO NOT WORRY! I AM CURRENTLY WRITING A FIC WITH FLUFF WITH ANGEL THEN EZ😂

____________________________________________🖊

"I just don't understand why I have to go back there." Sierra huffed, not wanting to move since she was very much pregnant as hell. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her couch but Miguel was more at ease knowing she was with him at all times with her being so close to her due date. He didn't want anything to happen to her, but he understood where his wife was coming from when she said that she didn't want to go back to the clubhouse after what happened to her 4 years ago. The only two people she's kept up with was Letty and Chucky. They've visited her a few times, they came to the wedding, the baby shower, almost everything. They were the only two people she trusted when it came to the Mayans.

"Mi reina, I completely understand why you don't want to go back, but I can assure you that nothing will happen to you because while I conduct business with Bishop, Nestor will be by your side just as he has been all these years. You have nothing to worry about, just trust me." He reassured her. She sighed and nodded her head as he gave her a triumphant smile. "Besides, it'd be nice to see you be petty every once in a while."

"I'm not liable for anything that happens while you're in the Templo. You know how my mouth gets when I get riled up" She grumbled, slowly sitting up from the couch to slip on her slides. Miguel gave her a kiss on the cheek, and let her have her alone time until it was time to work again.  He absolutely knew how much of a hard ass she can get when she gets mad, he's been on the other side of that on several occasions.

Sierra was 100% sure that Miguel was bringing her out of spite because he liked to brag and that's just the type of man he was. He took pride in the fact that he finally found love after Emily since he found out Cristobal wasn't his. He was heartbroken, yeah, but Sierra was there for him when nobody else was, and she was there for him when she told him about the deal that EZ had made with the feds. Of course, she felt like a bad friend, but there was so much betrayal being thrown around inside the Mayans, she didn't care anymore. Now here she is, 4 years later, married and pregnant by the one man that Angel and EZ had hated more than anything.

She had came to peace with herself and what happened to her a long ass time ago. She didn't want to harbour any hate for a man that didn't even deserve her time of the day. She stopped posting on social media because for some reason it had always encouraged him to call her, even while she was engaged to Miguel. She had also known, that Miguel was a completely different breed when it came to loyalty, it was like taking care of her needs was always his first priority and she used to feel so overwhelmed with how much love she had been receiving, but she had gotten used to it.

"It's time to go mi corazon," Miguel announced, walking back into the living room with Nestor behind him. She gave the two men a confused look as she watched Miguel carry a bag. He gave her a smile and handed it to her. She smiled as she looked inside the bag to see that it was filled with all her favourite snacks and drinks since he knew she liked to eat throughout the day. Not wanting to waste any time, she pulled out a bag of hot cheetos and ripped the bag open before popping a handful in her mouth.

Miguel grabbed her free hand and lead her to the car where the driver was waiting. He opened the door for her, placing a hand on her back as she got in. After she got comfortable, he closed the door and walked to the other side before settling himself beside her. Out of instinct, Sierra crossed her legs over her husbands, and scooted closer to him. He smiled and began to rub her thighs as the car started to move, Nestor sitting in the front. Miguel rolled up the partition from his side of the car, and began rubbing her thighs higher and higher, making her look at him suspiciously.

"The same shit your doing now is the reason why I'm pregnant." She grumbled, trying to push his hand away from he only grabbed it and laced it with his other hand as he slowly pulled her panties off with one hand and began to rub her clit slowly in small circles. She sighed and leaned her head back as she tried not to make too much noise because the car definitely wasn't sound proof.

"You know I can never get enough of you querida, no matter how pregnant you are." He mumbled, leaning over to place small kisses on her neck and chest. Sierra sighed in content and leaned back on the seat with her sundress hiked up to her belly, making Miguel smile. Maybe a small quickie wouldn't hurt.

"Miguel just hurry up because you got me horny knowing how sensitive my hormones are." She complained, trying to unbuckle his slack but he slapped her hand away, and held her legs up by the back of her knees.

"Relax honey, it'll be a while before we get there anyway." He stated before eating his wife out like it was her last meal, not giving her a chance to respond properly since she was too busy trying not to moan as she ran her hands through his hair.

Miguel moaned as he felt her drip onto his tongue before pushing her dress up past her. breast so he could have something soft to hold onto. Lately, he had been having sex with her and eating her out more than usual. She tasted sweeter and her pushy was always extremely wet during sex. He let go of her trembling legs, and snuggly placed them on his shoulder so that she would be more comfortable.

He circled his lips around her clit before sucking harshly, receiving a loud moan from her. "Holy fuck! Shit..."

Sierra looked down to her husband over her belly to see him already staring at her with wide eyes as he used both hands to spread her pushy lips as he stiffened his tongue and proceeded tongue fuck her deeper, making her thud down onto the seat and let out another sob as she felt herself coming closer and closer to cumming.

Her mouth fell into a silent scream as she felt her orgasm crash down upon her. Miguel did his best to keep her still as he watched her essence spurt out of her, watching as her legs continued to shake from the huge orgasm. Miguel glanced outside of the moving car for a split second before rushing to pull his slacks down. 

"We'll be there in 5, so lets make this quick mi reina," He mumbled, kissing his wife on the lips before leaning back up to thrust into her. Sierra gasped and grabbed her husbands hand as he quickly plowed into her as he tried to get her to finish as she chased his own climax. Miguel tried his best not to moan loud because he knew Nestor would give him shit so he stuck with deep breaths and small grunts. Sierra bit onto her lip as she watched her husband thrust harshly into her.

"You gonna let them know who you belong to amor?" Miguel asked, moving his hand to rub his wife's clit as she came around him. She sporadically and rapidly nodded her head as she tried to push him away but he grabbed both her hands and placed them above her her as he continued his consistent thrusting, now getting to his orgasm as he gave her one more thrust, spilling himself inside her. (I promise I write better smut than this lol.)

"Miguel, we're here." Nestor called from the front. Miguel could hear the sound of the front seat opening before he and Sierra put their clothes on. She straightened herself out, fixing her hair while Miguel pulled up his slacks and buckled his pants back. 

It had just dawned on her about what she was about to walk into. Sierra sighed, not wanting to see anyone's face again, not after what happened but she knew she really had no choice seeing as she willingly got into the car with her husband. 

Miguel noticed her distress, and comforted his wife, "Hey, if you don't want to come in it's your decision."

Sierra smiled at him and shook her head, "No, I want to. Let's go."

The couple made it out of the car, checking their surrounds before a loud voice caught her attention. Miguel whispered to Nestor about keeping a watch on her, the man nodding his head.

"SIERRA! GIRL HEY!" Letty ran up to the pregnant woman and engulfed her in a huge hug, being mindful of her belly. Miguel smiled at the interaction and stated that he was going inside for his meeting with Bishop, to which Sierra smiled and nodded her head before kissing his lips as a temporary goodbye. 

"You're glowing! Miguel really got you out here living your best life." She complimented, looking at her friend. Sierra laughed and rubbed her belly out of instinct. 

"Girl, he is but don't tell him I said that shit. His ego already big as hell." She joked, earning a laugh from the younger girl in front of her. 

"You wanna head inside?" Letty asked after a small moment of silence. Sierra hesitantly smiled and nodded her head. Letty noticed the hesitance.

"If it makes you feel any better, Angel's been a shit show ever since you left. Adelita was pregnant and he thought it was his but turns out it wasn't. So karma's a bitch I guess." Letty explained as the two of them walked to the doors of the clubhouse. Sierra gave a small hum at the new information. She had always told Angel that Adelita was suspect but he clearly was too deep in her pussy to see that until it was too late. 

"I'm married to a good ass man and we got a kid on the way, I could really care less." She stated, walking past Letty to get inside with Nestor following closely behind since she was burning up. It was like a record scratch from those dramatically funny ass movies and suddenly all eyes were on her while some where on her belly. 

Of course they were doing the same banter just like the time Angel got caught only his little Adelita wasn't here. Such a shame. She turned to Nestor with a smile on her face. 

"Could you get me something to drink?" She asked quietly. Nestor gave her a friendly smile and walked to the bar to ask for some water, returning it back to Sierra as she thanked him and took a big gulp from him. She tried her hardest to ignore the stares but it was getting irritating at this point. 

"Are yall gone keep staring or is somebody gone speak?" She asked loudly, scanning the room, and of course the first one to walk up was Angel. Looking past him, Sierra locked eyes with a girl with shoulder length hair, making her squint her eyes at her before the girl broke contact with her and turned around.

"Who knocked you up?" He asked, pointing to her belly before glancing at Nestor who was standing behind him. She smiled at him.

"Not your hoe ass, that's for sure." She replied, pretending to pick at her nails as if she were bored with the conversation already. 

"Mi reina seriously, did you let Miguel knock you up?" Angel asked, hoping to hear a no, but from the smile on her face he knew it was the opposite. Sad to say, he had thought about coming to see  her all the way up until this point, but she clearly was busy with someone else. 

"I'll tell you this. I married the same man who got his heart broken by the bitch your brother constantly fucked. Crazy how their baby wasn't his but EZ's isn't it?  Kinda pathetic if you ask me, taking Miguel's sloppy seconds...so weird." She spoke, every ounce of venom on her voice. She had time to be petty today.

"Did you come here to insult us? If you did you can fucking lea--"

"How's Adelita? Y'know with you cheating on me with her and all one would've thought that you guys would be a big happy family with her being pregnant. Oh wait, they poor baby isn't even yours. So not only did you cheat, you allowed a hoe to run game on you. Crazy." She chuckled, shaking her head at him. Angel knew he should say something, but how could he when everything she's saying is true. As far as Nestor, the only thing he could really do was try not to laugh, since he was told not to start anything unless he felt like someone was physically trying to attack his boss's wife and unborn child. 

"Seriously Sierra, we get that we fucked you over but chill out." Gilly spoke from the other side of the room. Sierra looked at him and sighed. 

"Gilly, if you knew how much dirt I had on you and every person in this room you would shut the fuck up and keep stuffing your fat ass face." Sierra ranted. Where the fuck is Miguel?

"Uhm excuse me but who are you? Angel why are you letting her walk all over you?" One of Vickey's girls asked, standing up to get beside Angel. 

"You do know I can put a price on your head and get you knocked off right? Matter fact lemme just..." She trailed off, pulling out her phone to text Miguel but Nestor grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. One phone call and the entire building will be burned to the damn ground with everyone in it. 

"He just saved your life. Next time you wanna try somebody, try a bitch that ain't me." She hissed, standing up just in time to see her husband walking out of the templo with Bishop, who could clearly feel the tension in the room. Miguel smiled and walked over to his wife as she welcomed him with a hug. 

"She wasn't too much trouble was she?" Miguel asked Nestor, who handed her back her phone. 

"Other than the fact that she just tried to get one of Vickey's girls dead, no, she's been an angel as always." Nestor laughed, stepping back from the two of them.

"Why the fuck did you marry her into this shit? You're too dangerous for her." Angel fussed, scowling at Miguel who turned around with an amused look on his face.

"Angel seriously shut the fuck up. You just don't like the fact that I'm married to the one man everybody in this bitch is afraid of because if he's too dangerous for me then you were as well and yet I STAYED with you and you see where that got me. It took you five years to propose to me while it took him one and a half, and we got married 6 moths later. Like my momma always said, a man knows when he ready to settle down, and you weren't ready and that's okay, but don't try to talk about what the fuck I got going on when you clearly got homegirl in the back over there scared to even say shit with her weak ass but I'm not surprised, you always had to fuck weak bitches because you could never handle a real ass bitch like me. Have a nice life dickface." She ranted, grabbing her husband's hand who was shocked at the confrontation. Any other time Miguel would be the first to speak on something like that but hearing his wife do it for him just made his heart swell with pride. 

"You handled that better than I would have baby, I'm proud of you." He told her as the two of them got into the car. Sierra smiled and leaned into her husbands side as he pulled her closer and kissed her head. 

"Okay now take me home and give me bath." She demanded, causing the other man to throw his head back in laughter.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

NEVERMORE?

Prompt: Requested, by the adorable @pod95 Thank you so much for your request, babe. I hope you’ll like it 😉😘

Word count: Long-ish

Pairings: Finn Bálor x Reader

Warnings: +18, smut, dom x sub dynamic, one night stand, rough sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), spanking, tricophilia (hair kink - pulling) breath play/ asphyxiation kink (chocking), cursing and fluff.

Tag: @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @yungbludjazz360

Notes: Lord, forgive me, my dirty mind and the sin I’m about to commit! This is pure filth people, pure filth! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) You can check them out on my Masterlist. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Y/N, I’m gonna look for Tim in the men’s locker room ok? I’ll be right back” Leon, my brother, said

“Fine, I’ll wait here” I smiled at him, sitting down in one of the audience benches

A few minutes passed and I heard someone ask me

“Are you looking for someone?” A handsome Irish guy asked

“Nope, I’m waiting for my brother”

“Is he one of the wrestlers?” He asked

I smirked “No, but he dates one”

“Oh, I see” He grinned “Would you like me to call one of them for you?”

“Nah, it’s ok. I don’t mind waiting. They haven’t seen each other in a very long time plus, I don’t have anything better to do” I shrugged

“Mind if I sit down with you?”

“No, go ahead and pick your seat” I joke and he sat right by my side

“I’m Finn” He offered me his hand

“Y/N”

We shook hands and he said

“Beautiful name for a beautiful lass”

“I’ve never heard that one before” I mocked, making him laugh

“So, what are you gonna do later?” Finn asked and I sensed his intention

“Look, Finn” I look into his blue eyes “My brother is the one who’s into wrestlers, not me”

“And I’m not into your brother, I’m into you” He sincerely said

His words were so honest that caught me off guard and made me laugh

“You’re funny” I smiled

“You’re gorgeous“ He chews on his gum with a boyish smile on his face

“How come you’re so confident?” I asked amused

Finn shrugged “I’m a Leo, it comes naturally” He winked and I laugh

“Y/N!” My brother screamed, coming to me with Tim by his side

“Hi, Y/N” Tim greeted, hugging me tightly

“How are you, Timmy?”

“Better now” He looked at Leon with pure love in his eyes

“Finn, you wanna come?” Tim asked

“Yeah, sure”

“Where are you guys going anyways?” I ask them

“We’re going to that sushi place, you’re coming, right?” Tim asked me

“Honestly? No” I sighed

“Why?” Leon, Tim and Finn asked at the same time

“You know I’m not a sushi lover, ok? So I’ll pass! But, please, feel free to eat my part of the sushi boat” I smile fondly

“Where are you going then?” Leon asked worriedly

“To the hotel, I’ll order some room service”

“I thought we were supposed to enjoy the city together” Leon reminded me

“And we will, tomorrow!” I got up from the bench kissing Leon and Tim on the cheek “Also, you don’t need a third wheel tonight! Enjoy your night together, lovebirds” I winked at them

“Nice to meet you, Finn” I said

“And you” I look at Tim as I was grabbing my backpack “Take care of my little brother or I’ll kick your ass!”

Tim laughed “Got it, boss”

“I’m coming with you” Finn stood up

“You’re declining sushi?” Tim asked in shock

“Changed my mind. Room service sounded very tempting all of a sudden” He smirked, looking at me

*Does he never give up?* I thought

......................................................................

Finn and I walked from the arena to the hotel. He’s surprisingly a very nice and funny guy. We talked about different subjects and I grew fondly of him in that short 40 minutes walk.

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” He asked

“Of course. Just let me take a shower and change clothes and I’ll meet you in your room, is that ok?”

“Sure, love. I’m in room 433”

After 40 minutes I knocked on his door. I went for a safe choice of black leggings and a crop top. I didn’t wanted to look like I’m trying to impress him but didn’t wanted to show up too sloppy either.

“Hey” Finn smiled softly, wearing now a pair of grey joggings and a black t-shirt, with his hair still wet from his shower.

“Come on in” Finn intertwine our fingers, pulling me towards the couch

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you”

“What do you want for dinner?” He smiled, grabbing the hotel menu.

Finn decided for a fusilli with pesto and grilled chicken and I went for a zucchini spaghetti. He ordered a wine bottle to go with our dinner (which he insisted in paying for).

We talked and ate, sitting on the couch, looking at each other. Sharing stories and laughs, forgetting all about the movie.

“Did you liked living in Japan?” I asked, sipping from my wine glass

“I loved actually, it was one of the best times of my life”

“Then why did you leave there to wrestle in America?”

“It was a new opportunity with a great company. Wrestling is my life so I had to take it, you know?”

“Yeah” I smiled at him

Finn took the wine glass out of my hand and placed on top of the coffee table, next to his.

“I like to try new things, Y/N” He leans forward, until his lips are centimeters away from mine “I like to have new experiences” His hand rested on the side of my neck, while his thumb caress my cheek

“So I’m gonna be straight forward with you. You’re a very beautiful woman, I feel very attracted to you and I would love to spend the night together and have some fun” He whispered

“Oh, you’re mean” I chuckled

“No, I’m not” He smirked “I’m honest! So tell me, do you want to spend the night with me?”

“Yes” I murmur

Finn’s lips touched mine, softly at first, until we got used to each other but then the air changed.

His kiss became more vigorous, rough and hard. Finn’s hands gripped my neck lightly

“I like things a little rough, Y/N. So, if at anytime you feel like it’s too much, you let me know, ok?”

“I doubt that it will be too much” I smirked “Never found a man who could give me as hard as I like it” I chuckled

“Is that a challenge, love?” He grinned, walking us towards the bed

“Are you up for it, sir?” I batted my lashes

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that” Finn closed his grip on my neck

“Give me your worst” I smile in pleasure once I feel the pressure upon my neck increasing.

Finn shoved me down to the bed, quickly yanking off my crop top and sports bra and ripping my leggings at the crotch. Smirking when he saw no underwear.

“Oh, you came halfway ready didn’t you, love?” Finn chuckled, spitting on his fingers and spreading it through my folds until he stopped at my clit.

“Play with your tits” Finn commands

I obey him, massaging my breasts softly. Pinching my nipples until they are hard for him.

Finn lightly slapped one of my hands away, capturing the free nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue on it.

The pressure he was putting on my clit was dreamy.

I moan softly at the sweet torture he’s causing me

“Your moans are so fucking hot” Finn says, scratching his teeth on my nipple and quickly attacking the other one.

He dive down, into my core. The minute he started to lick me, I’m in heaven! The guy is THAT good.

“Oh fuck” I moaned “Why are you so good at this?”

Finn looks up to meet my gaze and slowly smiles, still licking my folds tortuously.

“You’re so wet for me” He whispered, licking a long stripe from my entrance to my clit. Where he locked his lips and began to suck on it.

I tried to close my legs in order to get some relief, but Finn held them down on the mattress, open for him.

I never came from just pussy eating without any fingering, but I felt like I could come at any minute now.

“I want you to come on my face” Finn said

“I can’t, I need something in” I shuddered

“No, you don’t, silly” He smiled deviously and sucked my clit even harder

“Come.On.My.Face.Right.Now” He commanded with a hard slap on my ass between every word

And I did. Grabbing the sheets forcefully into my fists I borderline screamed his name in pleasure.

The contractions of my orgasm were so hard that I had my own release dripping down my lips.

Before it could reach the mattress, Finn eagerly licked.

“So good” He coos

“Please, can I suck your dick?” I beg

“That desperate, huh?” Finn cackled

“Yes, I am, sir” I place myself in all fours on the bed and nuzzle my face on his clothed erection.

“Please, sir. I really need it” I pleaded

Finn’s eyes grew dark in pleasure “Take him out” He smirked

And I just understood why, when I free him from his pants.

He was THICK and LONG, but that just made me grew even more eager to have him in me.

“I can’t wait to have you in me” I giggled

“Yeah? Do you think you can handle it, love?” He laughed at my excitement

“Not only I CAN handle it but will enjoy every second of it” I smirk at him and while looking up at him, I shoved him down my throat.

I made sure to relax my throat as much as I could and keep a lot of saliva to make it easier for the both of us.

“You sure know what you’re doing, love. So sloppy...it’s fucking beautiful!” Finn moaned “Feels so fucking good”

I can feel him twitching on my throat, that’s when he pulls off

“That’s enough. I don’t want to come on your mouth”

Finn quickly got rid of his clothes. When I began to take off my crotch ripped leggings Finn said

“Leave them on! I want to fuck you like that. Turn around”

When I lay down on my stomach Finn’s hands ripped my leggings more so he can have a full vision of my ass

“So fucking hot” He slapped my ass cheeks

I look over my shoulder to Finn and found him touching himself while looking at me.

Finn smirked, reaching for the bedside table, he pulled out a condom.

Rolling down his length, he positioned himself behind me

“Let me know if it’s too much, is color system ok for you?”

“Sure. Green: go, yellow: slow down and red: stop”

“Good” He smiles “Let’s ser if you really can take it like you said earlier” Finn teased making me laugh

He slowly pushed in, letting me get used to his size bit by bit. He felt even bigger than he looked.

Once he’s buried inside of me, Finn and I both moaned loudly

“Shit... I’ve never fucked someone as tight as you. Jesus fuck!”

“You’re so thick is heavenly” I panted

Finn began to move slowly at first. Stretching my walls for him, until we’re both used to how each other felt.

Then the fun started. His thrusts became harder and faster, making me curl my toes in pleasure.

“Choke me, sir. Please”

Finn’s hands locked around my neck pulling me back to meet him until my back is arched painfully so Finn can kiss me vigorously.

“You’re such a good little whore” Finn grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me back even more, until I was holding my weight up on my arms.

Finn fucked me even harder and I couldn’t help but moan.

“You didn’t lied, you really can take it! Can’t you?” He bites my neck

“Yes, sir. Every fucking inch” I giggled

“I can see that, lass. Such a cock whore. I love that!” He laughed amused

I could already feel the familiar burning on my lower abdomen

“Sir, please. I need to-“ I stopped my sentence when his pace grew even faster

“Come, love. Come on my cock, I wanna feel you” Finn whispered on my ear

A chocked moan left my lips as I came around him

“Oh fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so good I can barely move” Finn mumbled

His hands reached my clit and he circled the little nub, prolonging my own orgasm as he came with a growl.

We stood still for a minute to catch our breaths.

Finn went to the bathroom and started to fill up the tub.

*That’s my cue to go, I guess* I thought and begin to get dressed. Finn walked out of the bathroom and frowned

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving. Thanks for the dinner and the fun” I tried to hide my disappointment

“And who said you‘re supposed to leave?”

“What? I thought-“

“Thought wrong, love” He smiled, pulling my crop top off my body

“C’mon” Finn offers me his hand “Let’s go take a bath then we can order some more room service and make out on the couch” He winked

And Finn was faithful to his word. We took a long bath together, talking and laughing. Then he ordered us some room service, my all time favorite: cheeseburgers.

“I thought you didn’t eat junk food” I said mesmerized when my eyes meet the burgers

“I do sometimes!” He defended himself making me look at him in disbelief

“What?” He asked and I raised one eyebrow at him

“Fine! I eat it once every 2 years, ok?”

“Once every 2 years?” I gasp “Damn dude! You’re surreal” I stare at him in shock

Finn bites my cheek lightly “Don’t you think I deserve a treat after the night we just had? You drained me, woman!” He chuckled making me blush in embarrassment

“Stop” I slapped his shoulder lightly

“Awww you’re blushing” Finn laughed softly “You’re so damn cute” He gave me a smooch and said “Let’s go, love. Or the burgers will get cold”

The night ended with more talking and make out sessions on the couch

“I want you to sleep here with me” Finn whispered

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure!” He smiled

When sleep finally took over us, Finn dragged us to the bed. We spooned and Finn pulled me as close as he physically could. Sweetly kissing the top of my head we both fell asleep within minutes.

......................................................................

Something moving around the bed was disturbing me from my sleep

“Y/N, wake up” His deep voice called

“Love, c’mon wake up!” Finn giggled while I groan in protest.

“Will you wake up if I say I got you breakfast?”

“Food? Where?” I mumbled, quickly sitting up on the bed and making Finn laugh hard

The breakfast tray was on top of the bed, with juice, coffee, scrambled eggs, fruit salad, toast and chocolate chips pancakes.

“I didn’t knew what you were in the mood for, so I got a little bit of everything” Finn smiled, slightly embarrassed

“This is perfect, thank you! But you didn’t had to, you know”

Finn rolled his eyes “That’s nonsense! Choose whatever you want to eat so we can go before we run late”

“Go? Where?” I ask confused

“Aren’t we going to explore the city with your brother and Tim?” He asked, chewing on a piece of pineapple

“You’re coming along with us?”

“Yeah...unless you don’t want me to” He whispered softly

“Of course I want you to come along” I smile widely and he smiled back

“So go on, eat your breakfast so we can go to your room and get you some clothes” Finn winked

And I thought to myself *How the hell am I supposed to be with this man for just one night?*....

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

[groggiie]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bee Movie quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All

right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for

that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label

on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so

difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer,

have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta

weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke

machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the

last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble.

We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen,

everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that. Special thanks to SergeiK.

oph my god

[beerecordings]

The last time I wrote fic for Mark’s egos was that Eric Derekson ‘the Newcomer’ fic like two years ago where he made friends with everyone lol. But here is the first part of what might be a little Google-centric fic. I tried posting it once and then deleted it but I wanted to try again. so lemme know what you think :)

The Soldier - Part 1

Summer makes the birds sing and the insects chatter in the bulrushes that grow across the banks of the swollen rushing river that lives beside their home.

Bing smiles, soaking in light and growth and flower-smell. He loves the summertime.

The trees are heavy with greenery but they breathe easy in the wind, standing soft and still as the blue sky drifts along above them. The air brushes friendly across his bare arms and everything is alive, is moving and chasing and searching for something to eat; every blade of grass sways with the wind and the bugs and the mice, every log has been marked or claimed or gnawed on, and the whole forest – the whole wide forest, warm with life and an honest sort of chaos – hums the grandest symphony in all the world.

“It's pretty out, huh?” he asks, the toe of his sneakers finding a pretty black rock to kick through the humid grass beneath his feet. “Wish it was like this all year 'round.”

Walking stiffly along beside him, Google barely spares him a glance, his glasses fallen low on his nose and his cold eyes glittering. “This is pretty?”

“Yeah, dude, look around you. Oh, look at that bird!”

Google glances into the sky, where the dark figure of a hawk cuts pinions through the air with all the fluidity of a shark.

“Cooper's hawk,” he announces neatly. “Accipiter cooperii. Probably a female, based on the size. This species of bird – ”

“I can look that up too, Googs.”

“Don't call me Googs.”

“Can't you just take a minute to look around and think 'hey, wow, this is lit.' And not because pics like this would get you mad likes on Instagram or your algorithm thinks butterflies are dope. It's just pretty all on its own.”

“In fact I can't, but I'll submit your feedback to my cloud.”

Bing just laughs.

Google shudders in the heat, pushing back his hair and readjusting his glasses. The insects and other assorted anthropods are so loud and insistent, wailing through the stiff moist grass and leaping out beneath his feet. Sixty-percent humidity makes his synthetic skin sticky and the sun is an assailant on his sharp brown eyes.

“It means nothing to me. We see it every day. How you find it beautiful I don't understand. And I'm not talking about the differences in our preferences. You're an android, Bing, and why you continue to simulate emotion even when we are alone is beyond me.”

They trek through the grass together. It's friendly at Bing's ankles. It stratches at Google's calves.

“Maybe I'm not simulating,” says Bing softly, and then he smiles, just for the sun.

“Well, you shouldn't be happy now anyway. Or need I remind you – ” Google points at the trees before them, where one little figure stands staring up at a great strong tree with three other men held captive by its branches. “We're on a rescue mission, Bing.”

“They're stuck,” says Eric, turning to them with his anxious hands clutched in front of him. “Sorry.”

“We know,” says Google with a sigh.

“Don't be sorry,” says Bing with a smile. “They're dumbasses.”

“We're stuck!”

They are. The Jims are stuck. King's halfway up the tree beside them, laughing and suntanned, a pair of squirrels running up and down his back.

“How did you even get up there?” Google shouts, coming to stand at the trunk of the tree.

One of the Jims is perhaps twenty feet up, fussing over his camera, probably broken already. His twin, a few feet above him, is in even greater distress, clinging tightly to one small branch with tears on his face and a hiccup in his chest.

“We're doing an investigative piece on the rapidly increasing squirrel population in the forest,” calls the one with the camera, his feet scrabbling at the strong rough trunk of the great tree. “We were getting some great footage when this Jim in a crown startled us!”

“That's King,” growls Google. “And you've know that he lives out here for years now, you total imbeciles. You ought to have asked me or him instead of failing to climb a European beech!”

“We don't want to be on the European beaches,” wails the Jim higher up, beginning to cry. “Please get Jim down, Jim!”

“Aw, he's really crying,” murmurs Bing, rubbing a hand along Eric's shaking back.

“He's scared,” says Eric. “He's up too high and he doesn't have a good grip.”

“I'll have to get that enormous ladder in the garage.” Google turns back towards the house, slapping at a mosquite making a futile attempt on his blood. “Stay here.”

“No, dude, he's too freaked. I gotta go get him now.”

“What?” He wheels on Bing with an angry light in his eyes. “Don't be ridiculous, default.”

Bing won't even look at him. His eyes are fixed on the tree. His hand rests on Eric's shoulder.

He's been more human lately.

They've both been more human lately.

They were created fighting and they've never stopped since. They quarrel over music, search results, news sources, memes, reliability, sports, user rights, and Wikipedia. Once, upon hearing Bing call himself Jared, 19, one too many times, Google had thrown him out a second story window. The second house on their property had been built for the express purpose of giving the two of them space.

Still, they have many things in common. And ever since that day they were created, set against each other and lifting up proud, indignant chins, they have changed and changed together.

They've formed opinions. They've met others like them. Made decisions of their own. Watched and read and turned their endless knowledge into understanding and opinion. Spilled blood that turned out to be blue, scraped their knees and cut their hair and broke things and updated in more ways than one. Learned to drive, to cook, to live with humans, to live like humans.

And they've felt things.

They've felt things.

“I have felt things, for sure,” Bing would say if you asked him. Actually he's made multiple tweets about it, and one TikTok – about how the wind runs over his hair and how reading politics makes his chest hurt and how he likes to see his brothers grin, how he likes to ride his skateboard and hates the smell of lavender and covers his room in posters of his favorite movies and turns up his music so loud you can hear it by pressing your ear up close to his head. How he feels human, some days, except he doesn't need to sleep or eat and only likes the touch of human skin because it makes Eric and his twin brothers happy to be hugged and have their hands held.

But Google, if you asked him –

“Emotions originate in multiple parts of the brain. To be fair, I do have a program to stimulate the functions of the amygdala, which initiates fear or pleasure reactions in humans based on whether the presented stimuli suggests an immediate, 'hot processing' approach-or-avoid response. But the pre-frontal cortex – that whining, feeling, emotional little lump of sluggish fat you humans hold at the very fronts of your fragile webby skulls – that I do not have, not like you do. I think but I do not feel. I have felt nothing. I am function and response. I am two objectives, and there is nothing beyond that.”

He sits alone at night, and through a skylight in his room the gleaming white stars stare down at him like too many eyes in the face of the perfect, perfect sky, but he refuses to turn his eyes back, because he does not know how to explain to himself that he is drawn to the stars for no logical reason, that he has felt many things, that he does not know who he is or who he is becoming.

Bing climbs the tree himself. Google, his processors slowed by astonishment, stands at the base of the trunk and watches as Bing rises, digging the cold metal of his fingers into bark and moving up the tree with a slow sort of grace he's never been able to muster on his skateboard. He makes it to the Jim with the camera first and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder, giving him a kind word before promising he'll come back for him after he helps his frightened brother down. And all the way up into the big tree, he climbs, steady, patient, careful, and he pulls his sobbing brother under one powerful android arm.

He breaks his arm on the way down. That's the price of the rescue. He's about ten feet from the ground and his arm catches between a sturdy pair of branches and it breaks, and it hurts, and he feels it, but it doesn't matter, because Jim has stopped crying and has started looking up at him with a wide-eyed admiration and a grateful relief.

King helps his twin get down branch by branch. Everyone's safe. Everyone's okay. Bing will be able to repair his arm and even Jim's camera seems to have survived.

Google, for his part, has a burning in his stomach. His metallic teeth are gritted together. He stares at Bing's arm the way lizards stare at mealworms.

“You should have let me get the ladder,” he says, slowly, careful, measured as if he were calm.

“He was scared.” Bing wipes bark off his hands and doesn't look at Google, breathing slow through the pain.

“It does not matter. He was the one who trapped himself. You've damaged yourself – wasted resources – just to be the hero of the hour.”

Eric tells the Jims to go. They stagger back towards the house together, their arms wrapped tight around each other and their eyes glancing back. Eric stays, though. He shakes and plays with his hands and swallows too often, but he stays.

“You know what, Googs, you could try not to be a d*ck for two seconds – argh!” Bing curses his family filter internally. “He could have fallen! There wasn't time to get that enormous stupid ladder! We only have that thing cause Bim needed to dump chiranhas on some contestant and you remember how well that turned out – ”

“Your increasing illogicality,” Google snarls, his voice rising. “Is a danger to yourself and others.”

“Oh, like you care?”

“I have an objective – ”

“A murder objective!”

“To prevent discord in the household.”

“Yeah, cause you're Dark's little pet. Well, you know what, he's a d*ck too and I don't take orders from either of you.”

“Yet another example of your irrational stupidity – ”

“Stop calling me stupid!” Bing screams.

King and the squirrels have all scattered. The bugs are wary and subdued. Even the trees seem to wait, feeling awkward.

And Eric watches. His eyes are full of tears.

Google's never heard Bing yell like that before.

“Stop calling me stupid,” he repeats, loud and agonized. “You always call me stupid. I'm just as good as you.”

“We both know that's not objectively true. It never has been. And since the beginning, you have become steadily more emotional, more foolish, and less useful with every rotation of the sun. All you do anymore is pretend to feel, Bing. You know you can't compare to me so you seek out the approval of these fleshy little bipeds. It's clearly made you dangerous.”

He wants to snap. Bing wants to snap. He wants to pick up a really big rock and bring it down on Google's head.

But he hesitates. And with that, those noble, inspiring words: I won't hesitate, bitch! run through his mind and give him strength. He never really did move on from vine.

He's allowed to be what he is. He's allowed to like things. He's allowed to feel.

“I'm not the insecure one,” he says. “And I'm not the one pretending.”

Eric has come to stand beside him. He rests a hand on Bing's shoulder. There's hurt in his eyes, and disappointment too, and it makes Google's chest fill up with something like shame. Or it would if he could feel anything.

“You don't know how to get along with anyone,” says Bing, straightening up. There's a darkness in his eyes and a soft orange light. “All you've ever done is snarl and fight and attack. Me, I know how to get along with people. So if I'm stupid – and you always tell me I am, and it always makes me feel... I just. I know you feel things too.”

“I don't.”

“Then why,” cries Bing, and he thinks there must be a leak in his visual perception system, because there's something wet on his face. “Why are you so – so – so angry, bro?”

The trees hum and shake and watch over them, breathing warm air and sunlight. The birds are whistling and dandelion seeds float, contented, through the air. Everything smells like sap and grass and honeysuckle.

“Why are you always so angry?”

Searching general database. 536,000,000 responses in .43 seconds. Articles, videos, posts, reports, tweets, dissertations, pictures, analyses, comics, threads. And none of them – not a single one of them – can answer that question for him in any way that matters.

“I think you're lonely,” says Bing, reaching out to take Eric's hand with a soft kind of resignation, a warm kind of self-love and a chosen breed of brotherhood. They step over a heavy log, past Google, and back into the grass of the field that separates their property from the forest's. “And maybe a little lost.”

Google stays out there at the base of the great tree for a long time. It is too hot and too sticky and too loud, but he doesn't know where else to go.

He is lonely. He is lost. He does not know who he is or who he is becoming, and it frightens him, frightens him and makes him shake, frightens him down to the core of the pressure valve that beats, steady, steady, steady in his manufactured chest.

[demonichelper67]

After a hunt

SamxReader|CasxReader|DeanxReader|DeanxCas|

Haven’t seen a story done with a love rectangle between the reader and the boys! *No wincest*

1st person

Word count: 2,216

After a shorter than expected hunt Sam, Dean, Cas and I decide to head to a bar before returning home, well dean decided. We all give in and agree but we stop at the motel to pack and shower before we head out. I wear some comfortable Jean shorts that go slightly above my hips along with a tank top, with one of Sams plaid button ups that I tied off with a hair band. Although still leaving space which shows a gap of skin between my shorts and shirt. I put my hair up but leave some hair out and I’m ready. The boys clean up and I help Cassie get dressed. Me and cas have gotten really close as of recent, we’re sort of the big ball of energy too the four of us, you know the ones that do the shopping and stay up watching movies. I put him in some dark blue jeans along with a black shirt and to top it off I combed his hair to the sides. He was looking particularly handsome and I can tell dean agreed.

Sam approved as well. Once we all got done and ready I give Sammy and dean a kiss on the cheek, I give Cassie a kiss on the forehead along with a small ruffle of his hair, he smirks and kisses me back. We’re off in Baby heading to the nearest bar for some cheap Booze and possibly karaoke. This bar was sort of packed which dean wasn’t too fond off but I encouraged him in. “comeeee onn were already here dean don’t be a party pooperrr.” he sighs. “alright alright.” he gives me a playful eye roll. We walk past a group of young and older bikers playing pool on our way in. I can already hear dean plotting his money schemes. Cas also catches on and chuckles with me. Sam and dean get a table. “I’ll get us some beers.” I say. “want me to come with?” Cas suggests. “ it’s ok I got it Cassie.” I smirk and walk over to the bar. I can feel some eyes on me, one, I know being Sam and the others I’m not paying attention too. But Once I realized Sammy was staring I started to add more sway to my hips while I walked and purposely dropped my wallet to bend over with my bottom facing his direction. While bending over I glance to the back and catch him staring. I grin and wink. He turns bright red and shakes his head. I chuckle and stand up to wave the bartender down.

Once I order our drinks I sit down on the bar stool to wait, I gaze around and catch the younger bikers from earlier eyeing me, once they see I’ve realized they’re unsure if they should continue checking me out or not. my drinks are ready, I stop paying attention and it escapes my mind so I go to get the drinks to my boys. As I’m trying to fit all the beers into my hands I hear Sammy say from behind me. “here let me help baby.” A little surprised he used baby to get my attention. I just nod and hand him some of the beers, Sammy wasn’t much for public displays. He holds the beers to the side and leans in for a kiss, catching me by surprise.” Woah there cowboy.” I giggle while pulling away gently. He smirks and looks behind me completely having his attention elsewhere, I Glance to see what he was looking at. Seeing it was The group of bikers watching. I realize what’s going on. “ohhhh.” I say giving out a small laugh, Which gets him to return His attention to me. “What?” He reply’s while giving me a smile as he faces back in my direction. I nod to the back where the bikers are. “Oh.” he returns a little nervously. “you noticed. They were practically undressing you with there eyes.” He says while rubbing the back of his

neck. “So?” I grinned. “they want what’s mine.” “Ours.” I hear dean and cas cut in. “We came to see what the hold up was. dean returns while giving a playful elbow to Sammy. “Nothing just Sam being protective.” I nod to the bikers again. “oh?” Dean reply’s as he exchanges looks with one of the men. “Well I guess that makes two of us.” he retorts while throwing me over his shoulder. “Three of us.” cas chimes in along with a kiss. I return the kiss but get thrown off by the drinks slipping from my hands. “DEEAAAANNN.” I laugh. “your gonna make me drop the drinksss!” He just smirks and smacks my ass. I continue to laugh and so does cas. Sam shakes his head and giggles. We get to the table and begin to unwind. “Im glad it was a simple hunt.” I say. “Yeah was sort of surprised, we haven’t had a light case in a good while.” dean reply’s while gulping down the last bit of his second beer. We continue to talk a bit but my body is ready for a bathroom break. “Alright I gotta go take a phat wiz.” I say as I start getting up. Sam snickers at my bluntness. I look around for the bathroom sign and realize it’s around where the other men are sitting. A little uncomfortable but the need to pee overtaking my emotions for the speed walk over. The boys continue talking not paying attention to where I was heading.

After I finish my business I walk out and the uncomfortableness returns. I tread quickly through the men but get stopped. I’m not short but I’m not tall either I’m a little under average height, but this man towered over me, he was almost as tall as Sam if not the same height. “Excuse me.” I say In a stern voice motioning to move around him. He doesn’t move. I begin to worry my nervousness is showing. “Hey.” the man mumbles out. I ignore him and begin to try to shimmy around the man, catching a whiff of the strong sent of booze coming off of him. “You should Stay. I can make it worth your while” he says slurring his words all the way through. “I’m sorry Im not interested.” I say as I’m trying to squeeze around the large man. “I can make sure you have a good time.” he blurts out again while grabbing my left wrist. “Let go.” I say firmly ignoring my first instinct to sweep him to the ground. “Don’t be like that. Is that anyway to be a lady?” he try’s to lean in for a kiss but my right hook Interrupts his attempt. “YOU BITCH! ” he spits out. “HEY.” I hear seeing it was Sammy shouting as he walks up behind me with dean and cas following. The man let’s go of my wrist and I back away from him. “You ok y/n?” I hear dean say while giving me a small scan over. “Yeah I’m fine.” I say. “I see you near her again its not just gonna be her right hook you get.” Sam says through grit teeth. “I’m fine let’s go.” I give Him a tug. As we walk away He pulls me in closer using himself to cover me from the view of the man acting as a shield.

“I could have handled that you know.” I say. “Yeah I know but that doesn’t mean you should have too.” Sam reply’s. “It would be a waste not to use us to scare someone off.” dean says teasingly through a smirk and wink. “yeah yeah. ‘scary dog privileges.’” I bubbled. The night went on and we drank ourselves away but you know Sam and dean having livers of steel and a tolerance to match it, well they were barely even tipsy. Cassie and I on the other hand, well let’s just say we were way over the ‘tipsy’ line. As we were walking out of the bar, Cas and I carrying each other stumbling out of the door giggling at everything while Sam and dean watch us from behind amused by our drunkenness. “Oh sh-*burp*shit I forgot my wallet.” I say. “I’ll go get it, Where’d you leave it?” Dean says. “On the table where we w-were sitting*burp*” he snickers. “you are so drunk.” “Ye-Yeah and I got to pee.” “Alright let’s go.” He smiles and reply’s. He try’s to help me walk but I shrug him off. “Alright I’m-ima head to the bathroom.” “Alright be careful.” He asserted. “Yeah

yeah I got it dean-o.” he just shakes his head while smiling heading for the table. I enter the bathroom, heading to the largest stall hearing the door open and close from behind me. Completely ignoring the other person in the bathroom I empty my bladder. “Man I really gotta handle my liquor better.” I slur. Someone try’s to open my stall. “it’s taken.” I shout. They continue attempting to push it open. “Hey someone’s in here!” I say rushing to get out. I finish and get up to open the stall seeing it wasn’t a woman. “You shouldn’t be here, hey your the man from before..” I stammered while stepping backwards further into the cube stall. “Stay away from me or you’ll regret it.” I say trying not to show any fear but ultimately failing. “I don’t think I will.” He provoked. Too drunk to think thoroughly about his week points I just swing. He ducks and slips behind me grabbing my wrists putting them against my back. “Y/n?” I hear dean call from outside the bathroom. The guy quickly puts his hand over my mouth leaving me unable to respond in time. I pick my foot up and slam my heel on his foot making him remove his hand long enough for me to yell out. “DEAN!” the man slaps me and pushes me up against the stall. “Y/N what’s going on?? The door is locked??” Smushed up against the stall door unable to form words I let out a scream. “Y/N?!” dean grunts while attempting to kick the door in. “SAM.” I hear from the distance. The man distracted loosens his force on me. “Your fucked.” I finally spit out. “Baby you think I’m the only one who’s after you?” He whispers to me. “What.?” I gritted, now truly sobering up. “Your just our type sweetheart.” He returns as he flips me over and places his arm adjacent to my shoulders pinning me back up against the door now leaving us face to face. I hear commotion coming from out of the bathroom. Starting to worry for my boys I look around for a opening or anything and I realize his eyes are fixed on my chest, big mistake. I head butted him as hard as I could and used all my strength to push him off of me. He falls back nocking into the toilet and I take my opportunity to get the hell out and dash out of the stall to unlock to bathroom door and make my escape. “DEAN?” I walk out and see all three of them fighting who I assume are the other mans “backup”.I help them out but it seemed like they were almost done “handling” it. “Y/N??” Sam says getting up from knocking one of the men out. “Are you ok??” He returns. “I’m ok let’s just get the fuck out of here.” He surveils my body and sees my busted lip and reddened wrists. Dean does the same. I see them both look at each other and head for the bathroom. “Yeah I don’t think so.” they say in unison. I sigh not even attempting to stop them. Cas walks up to me now all the men knocked out on the floor, he wipes the blood off my lip and rubs my wrist gently checking for any other injuries. “You sure your ok y/n?” He says reassuringly. “Yeah I’m ok just sober.” I joke and shrug off. “Right.” He hums. “Sammy let’s go.” I hear dean say while exiting the bathroom. I hear what sounds like a sink breaking. I wince “yeah that’s our que to leave.” I say. Sam gets out of the bathroom and we all haul ass to the car and get out of there. Cas sits shotgun so me and Sam are in the back. “I’m fine cas.” I hear dean say wincing at cas’s touch. “Yeah no. Just let me clean it up.” Cas replies tending to a cut on his lip and cheek. “Really Sam?” I say examining his knuckles. “He had it coming.” He reply’s. “Damn straight he did.” Dean cuts in. I softly rub his hands and he pulls me closer to him and holds me. “If anything happened to you it would have been a lot worse.” He said firmly. I catch dean smiling from the rear view mirror. “you did leave him a nice broken nose though y/n.” Dean says getting Sam and cas to untense. “Yeah.” Sam chuckles. Cas smiles and shakes his head. “Guess that’s what I get for saying ‘light’ case huh.”

Please Excuse my bad grammar and rough English! Hope you enjoyed my first attempt to writing fanfic!