#anyway throwing this out there for ppl to. take it i guess? the au idea i mean

[itsredpaint]

what will you choose?

bonus dh

[dukeswonderousmenagerie]

About Fujiko, Goemon, (and the au concept in general).

A few ppl have some really good ideas about Fujiko wanting to find a cure no matter the cost and Goemon being off training, not even knowing the apocalypse is happening. But I figured I'd throw my two cents in cos I'm a fan of this idea (and watching the last of us got me thinkin' about what would happen if the loop gang was in a zombie au too, lol).

Anyways, maybe you could pair Fujiko with Goemon or Zenigata...?

Maybe Zeni and Fuji were doing that team-up betrayal scenario they do sometimes, or maybe Goe and Fuji were doing their own thing elsewhere as they also tend to do, when things hit the fan.

The apocalypse kicks off in the middle of their usual heist shenanigans and the gang gets split. Since Lupin is alone in the one-shot fic you already have written (which is awesome), I'm assuming that's the case? Which would be pretty dramatic and great for an intro/prologue tutorial scenario.

But I guess that would depend on how all of this started. I'm curious as to the cause of this outbreak and if Lupin and Co. might have been involved or not, because depending on which route you've decided to go with you could tie in some gameplay mystery elements (figuring out what happened and how).

Maybe Lupin and Jigen would run into Fujiko that way, as they are uncovering where and how everything went pear-shaped. Oh, and I could see Zeni working with Fujiko for a cure too, with how his priority as an inspector is to help as many people as he can (next to catching Lupin, but I think that goal is thoroughly out the window in this au lol).

I could see him being more of an in-the-field type (are there other jobs other than runners and gunners?), hunting zombies to use for research or trying to pinpoint/ deduce the cause of the outbreak, like Lupin and Jigen.

Maybe he'd join your group when you do missions for Fujiko?

Unless you already have a plan for him to be zombified or something, lol. That could make for a good gameplay/story point in and of itself.

Sorry if this was long, like I mentioned earlier, the last of us really got my brain churning. I'm looking forward to reading where you take this 👍

Aww thank you so much for the asks! These ideas are truly top notch and I love hearing about them, so don’t worry too much about the length in which you send! :D

I’ll answer what I can in parts to make it easier to get to everything or at least the things that I can answer accordingly!

The apocalypse kicks off in the middle of their usual heist shenanigans and the gang gets split. Since Lupin is alone in the one-shot fic you already have written (which is awesome), I'm assuming that's the case? Which would be pretty dramatic and great for an intro/prologue tutorial scenario.

Ok TBH, when I originally wrote that fic, it was intended to take place a while after the outbreak, with Lupin being forced to huddle up in a abandoned mall after either getting separated from his gang or while being out on a scav mission, getting himself in trouble forcing him to stay put until the sun came up and it was safe to move.

Now that you mention it being like a intro/prologue tutorial. I really LOVE that idea! The gang getting split up in the midst of the outbreak, and you being forced to find a safe place to hide, all the while a tutorial plays where you learn how to attack and use your watch grapple to parkour across the buildings and such! All the while not knowing what happened to your friends and just listening to hell descend upon the city your in. The screams, the growls, the breaking of glass.

Meanwhile your friends are having the absolute time of their lives! (I say sarcastically xD)

But I guess that would depend on how all of this started. I'm curious as to the cause of this outbreak and if Lupin and Co. might have been involved or not, because depending on which route you've decided to go with you could tie in some gameplay mystery elements (figuring out what happened and how). 

Well the original idea was to basically have it like how Resident Evil/Outlast starts.

Where your basically just dropped in the middle of a outbreak/occurrence, and all the world building comes after. I always liked how Resident Evil did it, where it just dropped you into the action and then gave you time to find out what happened afterwards (if your like me and actually liked to read the documents) or like how outlast did it in the first game where you got a small bit of world building in the beginning, the action starts shortly after, and THEN the world building starts up.

Lupin and Co. are not involved in the outbreak THANKFULLY but they are stuck in the middle of it which somehow sounds even worse xD.

I could see him being more of an in-the-field type (are there other jobs other than runners and gunners?), hunting zombies to use for research or trying to pinpoint/ deduce the cause of the outbreak, like Lupin and Jigen.

Actually yes there is! 

All together there are a few “factions” that act like Jobs!

Runners 

Gunners 

Watchers 

Scavies 

Bandits (a more aggressive form of scavenger)

and Researchers. 

Researchers, also called Biologist’s are a relatively small faction specializing in researching and surveying the various Mutants and Undead inhabiting areas throughout the city. Similar to how Runners are, Researchers would often go outside QZ’s in order to do their research and study, which mostly consisted of researching new monsters, outbreaks, what causes mutations and stuff like that. Originally they were in charge of attempting to find a cure. However when places became more and more militarized as time went on, they were essentially put on a watch list by various military groups like the watchers.

Originally, the reasons for this change ranged to something similar to what they used for the Runners. That anything/anyone leaving a QZ was a danger to those inside whether they be infected or not. Another reason that is often used was they did it in order to prevent the looting of dangerous materials and to prevent the unauthorized entering of any individuals.

The real reason however? 

Essentially Power. 

As I mentioned before, as time went on, many had started to agree that they didn’t actually wish for the world to go back to the way it was before the outbreak. Many, including the power hungry, actually preferred the “New World Order” so to speak, and feared that, even if there was a chance to make things “safer” that odds are in due time things would go back to the way they were, resulting in stabilization and the risk of power being reverted back to its originally proprietor’s. 

Researchers as a result are often highly scrutinized for this, as they are the first line in a cure being developed then anyone else. As the years went by, the Researchers Faction has essentially been disbanded, with many of their members either being killed or imprisoned or driven off.

However in LIIIRnG, one researcher has managed to survive within the QZ, working underground in secrecy. Meeting him will open up what are known as “Slaughter Quests”

SLAUGHTER QUESTS are Objectives that require you to slay a set number of a specified mutant! Most of the time, these targets are small, but occasionally, you'll be tasked with felling highly dangerous one’s as well. Once a monster has been slain you can report back to the researcher in order to get your reward as well as sell him any monster part you don’t wish to have!

While these are often times Side-Quests; which are missions that are not necessary in order to move along with the story, they often serve as a enjoyable and fun way to gain blueprints, materials, and items. Certain Slaughter Quests will also allow the spawn of rare and “exotic” Zombies and Mutants known as “Legendaries” that are not able to be readily discovered, similar to Legendary Animals in Red Dead Redemption 2 that spawn on the map at random!

Legendary mutants are a particularly nasty breed of creature for the most part, except for the few that are just plain elusive, but either way they'll test your hunting mettle if you try to track down and kill them. However, there are bigger rewards than just bragging rights for eliminating them as you'll also claim rare trophies once the hunt is completed. There are many of these impressive beasts to locate, with each roaming their own patch of land spread across the four corners of the map. Hunting down these trophy kills so that you can collect their individual trinkets requires a knowledge of both their location, and the tactics in which you must employ when you come face to face with them so they aren't scared off – or they don't tear you to shreds – depending on the size of the foe you're dealing with. 

Legendaries can be encountered in some missions, but will appears as a rare occurrence in the wild as time goes on. Once players enter an area that contains a legendary, they will begin receiving a series of messages from the researcher and monsters that you have not yet encountered will be designated as ????in the message until you ultimately discover them

Far warning tho that if your encountering them in the wild, Legendaries don’t stay around forever! Sooner or later they will leave and you’ll simply have to wait until a new one spawns or hope that after a while, you’ll get a mission that’s tasks you with felling the beast of your choosing. But remember quests from the researcher don’t always stay as well! 

Every day is a new day, which means with every new day that’s past, new quests will be added to the roster while old ones are removed, so visit the researcher whenever you get the chance to see what interesting things he has in store for you and what prizes you can get! 

[happy-tori-friends]

TWITTER MUSINGS

i swear to god i. did a post like this with specific formatting but i cant find it to see what it was so. these arent in order even in the various sections. this isnt even all of it i just got tired tbh

Shifty Glam for FFXIV AU

hat - holy rainbow hat (sylph green)

body - noir longcoat (nophica green)

gloves - yorha type 51 gloves of scouting (deepwood green)

legs - noir slacks (deepwood green)

feet - model c-2 tactical longboots (hunter green)

viper weapon - ruthenium twinfangs (metallic green + ochu green)

rogue weapon - silver wolves (hunter green)

earrings - gold lone wolf earrings

neck + wrists + rings - n/a

'I Don't Know How To Write Fight Scenes'

shifty throws a dagger at the monster and lifty starts firing. the monsters comically falls over and ragsolls as robin tries to figure out what the fuck just happened. lucky is eating a sandwich. kirby victory theme starts playing.

Nutty in Magical Warrior AU / Pandemonium

i want nutty's weapon to be a crook/cane that looks like a candy cane. its why hed be a white mage if he was in ffxiv au. one white mage eats the weapon the other forgets to heal and beats the shit outta the enemies with the weapon nutty will be the 6th magical warrior probably. favoritism.

Various FFXIV Notes, Ideas, and Sillies

shifty, leaning over to whisper to lifty as urianger is talkimg: do you have any idea what the fuck this guy is saying

i think i have to rewrite the airship route for ffxiv au... grr... WHAT ARGUABLY MAKES THIS FUNNIER IS THAT SHIFTY MAY JUST BE FUCKING SITTING THERE WAITING FOR THE AIRSHIP TO GET TO GRIDANIA WITH HIS BROKEN BOW. lifty goes to limsa meets splendont, they talk to merlwyb 'haha this is funny you BOTH want the remembernce ceremony' -> they go to gridania and find shifty. guess who also wants a rememberance ceremony. kan-e-senna. talk to her. go to ul'dah. nanamo and rauhban. 'btw the limsa adventurers guild is looking for ppl to do a job.' and well they have to go see merlwyb again anyways. 'kan-e-senna wants this too.' proceed as normal oh yeah woohoo im smart.

dawntrail shifty has to go with erenville for the tuliyollal tour bc he would never fucking forgive bakool ja ja for crushing the tacos. Do Not mess with his food. how big is bakool ja ja he is very big right bc this angry 5 foot something miqo'te in a fedora beefing with him over food is really funny

ffxiv au shifty has a list of people he hates. starts with silvaire. zenos is crossed out when he dies. then he adds 'nvm hes back' and then crosses that out and adds 'nvm nvm hes dead again' after endwalker. emet-sekch and fandaniel are probably on it too. silvaire is the only one that remains uncrossed out. bakool ja ja gets crossed out with 'hes not dead we just kinda gave him a second chance ig'

would it be funny if in ffxiv someone said 'the twins' but did not specify lifty and shifty or alphinaud and alisae and no nvm its not funny

what do i want lifty to do in endwalker. what should his big thing be.bc shifty has zenos on his ass and im extending the final area for a dont moment… maybe the shiiiip? i dont remember a lot of details about endwalker funnily enough despite it being the most recent one i played through (THIS WAS B4 DAWNTRAIL) i imagine hes still a bit Fucked Up from shadowbringers (boyfriend almost dies trying to protect you n your brother and its very close to Actually being a disaster + all the other Shit.) and then in endwalker his brother gets body swapped and possessed, all their friends slowly sacrifice themselves for their b4 and then he n shifty do as well (payback for the light poisoning). and then when they get brought back and defeat the final boss shifty proceeds to have a fight to the death and almost fucking dies AGAIN. not to mention all the other kinda messed up stuff in endwalker too. lifty's probably just :) (and internally AAAAAA) the entire expansion. sorry buddy. tbf post arr into heavensward (the expansion where he takes focus) he isnt having the best of times either. i need to stop ffxiv au posting. and actually write it. 🤡 obviously he gets to be the one turned into a toad in labyrinthos. defining moment. (ily lifty) 'we should probably send one of you in with them' *dont and shifty look at lifty and are imagining the same fucking moment of him being like 'cool a frog! ribbit.' to be silly one time months ago.* you do one silly thing. ONE.

later decided on... i think lifty is gonna have moments in elpis + with meteion for his big endwalker moments. yeah hes npt the shard of azem - splendont is - but he and shifty's ancients are close companions of azem.

ffxiv au shifty makes lifty draw a lifesized cardboard cut out of bright volcano when he stops showing up to help them in dungeons as a joke but they keep lugging it around. shifty likes to commit to a bit (such as the nerd emoji whenever sniffles talked in chatfic c1) you know the 500 dollar 4 foot mareep plush? splendont makes a post like 'ah yes. me. my boyfriends. and their giant life sized cardboard cutout of our coworker' this wont happen but like. fucking imagine if it did. "'dont can you PLEASE ask feo ul for the cutout?" "shifts. Let It Go." its wouldnt even be drawn well btw lifty got tired of being bugged about it so he made it as fast as possible.

not crossposting this one because dawntrail spoilers but a thread if thee would like it

there is This tho - i really want 2 talk about dawntrail in htf x ffxiv au but im being patient but GOD bc they have the same backstory as in oblivion the whole final zone kinda fucks with the twins. it went from 'if shifty was with wuk lamat when bakool ja ja crushed the tacos he would be his zenos 2.0 so he cant be there' to 'lifty and shifty are reminded of the grief and longing + how abandoned by their family they feel while also having to save the world'

I KNOW I SAID ID STOP FFXIV AU POSTING but god the only think thats keeping lifty to stay calm and not freak out when the final days start is the fear of getting blasphemy'd I KNOW NOBODY CARES OR UNDERSTANDS MY OBSCURE VISIONS AND INTERPRITATIONS BUT I NEED TO YAP

emet-selch: i do not consider you to be truly alive. ergo, i will not be guilty of murder if i kill you. lifty shifty and splendont: *literally from a world with a death curse* honestly fair.

Jewel and Shady In Regards to Trans Lifty and Shifty

jewel and shady were adamant they were gonna have sons and had names picked out and everything only to learn theyd be having girls. what they didnt know is that both would decide they wanted to be boys very early on. some ppl were like 'theyre not even in school, its just a phase! why are you changing their names and stuff legally!' but jewel didnt care. she wanted them to be happy. and if they decided in the future that they weren't happy, she'd accommodate that. she actually planned to pay for everything when they turned 18 but then she perma died and everything went to shit for lifty and shifty. shadys reaction was 'i knew i was right. i knew i was gonna have sons!'. and while jewel would peacefully handle people giving unsolicited advice he would have to be held back from beating the shit out of them. he imagines running them over in his mind.

Evil Flippy Related Pandemonium Thought

toying with flippy / fliqpy killing one of the magical warrior au generals. baring in mind hes a high schooler here, no previous killings or war ptsd. no death curse either - magical warriors are protected from death and their injuries are healed via Soul Magic. whats worse is that while fliq is fronting he's 100% locked into dps, flippy is also a healer. so him trying desperately to save the general even though they're enemies because he didn't mean to but theyre already dead and there's no saving them. it was probably a fight or flight response, the general would have killed him if not for the transformation protection, but fliq forced his way to the front and well. dead bad guys general. itd be a willing general that wouldn't betray the order of twilight, not a brainwashed one but itd fuck with flippy a lot - idk how fliq would react and feel considering the setting and stuff but... likely less bothered about it? i have 2 think about it

The OG Plan for Pandemonium C1

TORI YAPS ABOUT MWAU.

(alt: happy precure friends episode 1 script - note this is a joke and even if the sequence is similar to the final product, actual events may very when i get to writing this)

shifty: you know what? *looks into the distance like theres a camera and he's on the office* it feels like we're in some shitty high school au written by some loser that hasnt been in high school for over 4 years and didn't even do anything interesting while in high school lifty: what? shifty: stfu. lifty: ??? shifty: lets go fuck around in the gas station. *suddenly. big scary sound. oh no! oh shit! what the hell!* shifty: cool a really realistic action movie scene. let's ruin it. lifty: shifty i swear to Fuck- *it was not a movie. there was a monster!!!! holy shit!!!1! and also some evil general* lifty: if this monster doesn't kill us im going to kill you myself general: i am Evil i love destruction the order of twilight will take over the world. *mascot jumpscare. hello lucky* lucky: check this out *casts a spell of summon fucking rock on them and then throws watches at them* ok put the rock in the watch and say pretty cure metamorphosis shifty: …i am not fucking doing that.

ok im not finishing this its not as funny as it was in my head

Misc. Sillies

shifty begging to use their crappy shared laptop and then proceeding to sabotage lifty's beloved sims games by installing slider mods and putting them in hotdog outfits and stuff

wholehearted believer of shifty being a shit cook and also committing food crimes and lifty is so close to losing it shifty, after taking over the kitchen while lifty laid down for a few minutes and making dinner for the date, looking at splendont: 🥺 lifty, from the other side of splendont: he's not calling you a good boy shifty that dinner was SHIT

im not gonna do it but i would be funny if they could use their magical warrior powers outside of being transformed. lifty tells shifty that if he doesnt shut up he's gonna electrocute him. shifty responds that he'll summon and drop a metal pipe on his head.

staff: your children keep skipping class and we just found out theyve been bringing contraband into school grounds. jewel: oh no, that's terrible :( i'll talk to lifty and shifty about this. shady, who did the same exact fucking thing: 😰

splendont brings the twins to a casino. lifty wins a lot of money. shifty loses everything and wants to throttle him.

the magical warrior au movie splendid: hey kids! you can use those miracle lights to cherr us on nad power us up! but- shifty: this is fliqpy. if you run around with those things or wave them like a fucking nuisance around he will kill you. splendid: :|

the fact im letting the twins' parents be alive in magical warrior au means that this stupid scenario in my head can be real lucky doesn't get along w shifty so lifty's always carrying him around + most assume the mascots are plushies. one day shifty and lucky fucking get into it for whatever reason (maybe lucky got him a detention or something) cut to shady (the twins' dad) coming into their room. "okay so your brothers at therapy rn and your next. anyways what do you want for dinner?" and then opens his eyes and sees shifty holding lucky down with a towel over his head and pouring water on him. "are you waterboarding your brother's stuffed animal?" dinner is awkward that night. "i figured with two teenage boys id get punished for walking in without knocking eventually. but not this. never this.' shady is so funny to me when he's not an awful horrible father once his wife dies. the Grief changed him. but now isnt the time to go into my htf parent ocs.

shifty, at the grocery store: i am going to steal this apple sneaky, rising from the grave and teleporting to his location while the outlaw theme from pmd sudden begins to play: apparently someone stole an entire ass pool from walmart and my parents witnessed it. lifty and shifty steal a pool and are like 'fuck yes who needs ac when you have a pool' and drag it up to their shitty apartment only to realize they dont have any way to fill it. do not worry my beloveds i will carry buckets of water up the stairs for you to have a pool.

[burglarbagginsbag]

Alright so I have this fic idea which I’m probably not going to write out bc I’m not fluent in English BUT my idea that i had for a bamf!Bilbo bagginshield fic:

Everyones already seen it and probably read it but Bilbo is a bamf (AU)

Important background information: Bilbo is like half dwarf (regarding strength, life expectancy, etc) but still has the appearance of a hobbit which is why (even though he has been out on adventures already) he was able to settle down in the shire and blend in with the mass without any problems

So when Gandalf goes to bag end to recrute Bilbo as a burglar Bilbo recognizes him immediately bc they’ve been on adventures together before (and yes bilbo is happy to see gandalf bc im a sucker for bilbo and gandalf being friends)

And Gandalf is like “ok you see theres this dwarf king and his 12 ppl who need to reclaim their homeland and i dont want them to get themselves killed by accident so could you go with them?”

and bilbo is like “i actually have enough gold i dont rly need a new job but it sounds kinda fun, bring them over for dinner and then tell me more”

So Gandalf is satisfied and tells thorin and his company that they are expected for dinner

When Bilbo prepares for the evening he watches out that some of his curls cover his eyes and a part of his face and puts on baggy clothes so his stature isnt revealed bc no one outside the shire really knows what bilbo looks like - they only heard stories about him and bilbo wants to keep it this way

Dwalin arrives and is like “at your service” and Bilbo is actually polite and everything, shows him the dining room and welcomes dwalin and dwalin is like “??? isnt this a hobbit shouldnt he be kinda freaked out? ok guess gandalf was right when he said that this dud is chill”

and so bilbo welcomes all the dwarfes (except thorin of course bc this dwarf lost his way twice) and they are all a bit surprised by the hospitality but dont complain

So movie verse they eat and throw food and all and even though bilbo is not pleased he doesnt say anything but observes his guests, cocks an eyebrow at gandalf from time to time while gandalf shoots him half amused half apologetical smiles

And then thorin knocks, everyones going silent again and gandalf says “he’s here”

And Bilbo opens the door by himself looks at the dwarf while thorin just enters not even looking at bilbo but greeting gandalf and you see in gandalf’s face that he is half panicking about what bilbo will say but bilbo just snorts amused and goes back to the dining room

gandalf follows him so the rest of the company follows gandalf and bilbo just shoots a look at the wizard like “are you serious you said dwarfs are coming here not unpolite and ungracefull beings without manners”

Gandalf tries to cough the awkwardness away “ALRIGHT, now that we’re all here we shall discuss the plan!!”

And Thorin just doesn’t get it, he doesnt get why gandalf seems so nervous around the hobbit whose name he doesnt even know (he leans into Balin and asks for the hobbits name out of pure interest but balin just shrugs realizing that the hobbit hasnt given away his name to anyone)

So now they entered the hobbit hole, ate bilbos food and dont even know what he completely looks like or what his name is

Gandalf repeats the plan mostly for bilbo so he knows whats going on and after the wizard is done bilbo hears a “thats what we need a burglar for!”

And gandalf looks so done bc he looks at bilbo and bilbo just snorts and smirks because all his life and after all he has done he has never been called a simple “burglar”

Bilbos occupation is the following: his mother was still belladonna and a took and his father was like mentioned above a dwarf, so while both of them died they still taught him a lot. His father showed him how to fight in general and with a sicklesword and how to throw knives. Training was never a problem for bilbo because (half dwarf) he has a lot of potential strength. His mother taught him about stealth and plants especially poisonous ones so soon bilbo was not only able to fight but to make mixtures of poisons and still being as quiet as only a hobbit can be

Bilbo’s father was a warrior and had to go on a mission but he knew that the enemy had information and that by just “kiling them off” the information would be lost. Having trained his son for many years and knowing that bilbo can be completely silent and probably deadly if desired he decides to take bilbo with him, bilbos mission is to knock someone out with a throwing knife to the shoulder which is covered in narcotics

Bilbo does an excellent job and his father is impressed and is like “i know you’ve never seen anything like this, youve never killed we only trained but i think you would be ready to fight by my side after we got our information out of this dude”

And Bilbo is both really good at fighting and at getting information out of the dude (I imagine him using some non toxic but pain bringing mixtures)

Bilbo and his father return home safely and Bilbo finds himself both guilty and thrilled bc he just killed like A TON of people with his father but at the same time it was exciting and he has this itch in his fingertips to do it again

After some years both of his parents die and not being able to stay in the Shire due to the memories bilbo travels through middle earth, hides his identity and then he hears someone in a pub talking about “killing someone for the better and how he would give a ton of gold to the person who could take out his target” and bilbo is like “oh” and goes out, satisfies the itch in his fingers, kills the person and demands his gold

The news spread like fire and everytime rumors come up about someone that should be killed for a good purpose bilbo will investigate, see if the person should really be killed, and if so will take the person out and demand his gold

Back to present events Thorin is like “do you think this is funny, hobbit? do you think the legacy of my kin is something you are allowed to laugh about? what do we need a hobbit for anyway?”

And Bilbo just pats his shoulder takes the contract that Gandalf held in his hands without saying anything and starts reading it

after he is done everyone looks at him not sure if they should be impressed or unnerved by this hobbit who seems to think so highly of himself that he can disrespect the king

but before anyone could say anything bilbo has signed the contract while looking at thorin from under the curls that covers his eyes giving him a smug smile and you just see that thorin is “this” close to snapping

Bilbo asks when they depart and gandalf says that they will leave by break of day

Thorin considers leaving earlier so they dont have to take the hobbit with them but doesnt say anything

Next day the dwarfs expect bilbo to have a ton of bags with him and that he would be in disadvantageous robes for traveling and they could laugh about him

But the sight they are greeted with is just? (I actually have some concepts in my head for Bilbos outfit but i dont rly know if anyone wants to see them BUT)

Bilbo is wearing of course no shoes but he is wearing long trousers with leather armor around his shins and knees, flexible but still protecting him; he wears a thin chainmail and over that a normal shirt, his arms are protected by thin leather which still looks resilient; a dark cloak which is secured with a clip around his neck; starting by his collar bones down to his navel in a “v” shape are all in all 12 throwing knives attatched in holsters and a sickle sword hangs at each of his sides; his hair which reaches his shoulders is tied up in a simple bun and in front of his face there is a short veil so that only his lips are visible; sewn onto his belt he has like 20 little bottles with different mixtures and poisons and he carries one simple backpack

and the dwarfs are like??? armor??? which looks??? high quality??? weapons??? on this hobbit??????

and they turn to gandalf and gandalf just tries to suppress a laugh at the surprised faces bc he just knew that out of sulkiness bilbo would not even try to hide any of his weapons but present them to the dwarfs

and like this basically the movie verse story would be retold

and it would be a bagginshield fic - oh my god it would be a bagginshield fic

[dyketectivecomics]

tell us about the roller derby AU!! <3

(tysm anon bc this got me to get my ass in gear abt actually writing it all down fdskl;fjla ALSO shout out to zom for leaving a reply <3 ty both omg)

OKAY, first things first. This started bc I was thinking abt the Sirens doing Derby together (OBVIOUSLY Harleys idea) BUT 3 players isn’t enough for a team (you need 3 blockers, a pivot and a jammer afterall) so this team HINGES on the fact that GCS had that brief team-up with Talia and Zatanna and the pure Chaos of them permanently joining the sirens in the mainverse is something I want to explore sometime in the future but ANYWAYS they also need a team to play against and I’m Nothing if not Consistent so OFC this is Sirens vs Birds

cue Same Age-Range College Setting, Roller Derby Focus AU. Everyone’s attending Uni at Gotham State and yes I have majors in mind too, for the Sirens we got undergrads Harley: Psych, Ivy: Botany, Selina: Art History, Talia: Anthropology, Zatanna: Theater. For the Birds, (grad student she’s fast-tracking) Babs: library science, (undergrads) Dinah: Music, Helena: Undeclared, Zinda: doesn’t actually Go Here lmao

now u might be saying “wait a min randy, that’s only four birds. DIDNT u JUST say u need 5 players for a team?” And yes. Yes I did. The Birds is actually a BIGGER team than the Sirens and includes anyone who has ever been on the BoP team ever. They’re all here! And there’s a lot of them that rotate in and out of the roster but for the sake of simplicity we’ll focus on those four as Main members.

So let’s talk positions, play style & other stuff!

so Harley is the Jammer, don’t fix what isn’t broken. I like the idea of Talia being the Pivot bc ofc she’d want to be in charge. Which leaves Ivy, Selina & Zee as the blockers

 YES Selina plays damn near as dirty as Harley does lmao. In fact if we rank them by how often they play Renegade vs Regulation, you’ve got, Harley, Selina, Talia, Ivy (all at varying degrees of being FAR at the renegade-end of the spectrum) and Zee is more like just Right of center in favor of Regulation (but not above elbowing an opponent or ‘accidentally’ tripping them up if they’re REALLY close to winning) 

Derby names MOSTLY follow their costumed personas, like Poison Ivy and Catwoman, but then there’s also Gnarley Quinn (currently taking suggestions for Zee n Talia tho bc... well they DONT have names other than their own really lmao)

For the Birds, Zinda is the Jammer, Dinah is the pivot, Helena is a blocker, Babs is actually the team manager & former pivot. Harley gave her a BAD injury during an end-of-season bout and kicks off the rivalry btwn the teams at the start of the plot. (Other birds in the rotation play blockers and jammers as needed. Helena will step up as pivot if Dinah can’t make a bout)

All the Birds PRACTICE regulation derby but....  well, when you put on your skates and the ref blows the whistle, what happens next can’t be helped (but esp after babs’ injury if its a Sirens vs Birds bout they’re out for BLOOD)

Yes their derby names are the same as their hero names, and yes ppl still call Babs Oracle even tho she doesn’t put on the skates as much even after her knee heals

Outfits and Skates:

okay, so OBVSLY zee & dinah are still VERY much the Fishnet Queens™, but i can totally see Harley, Selina & Zinda joining them. can’t have derby w/o SOME ppl wearing fishnets after all fjldka;s

also i know that derby’s sometimes a bit more butch and some ppl take issue with Zinda’s miniskirt but listen i am GAY and a SUCKER for vintage inspired looks and really? skirts and skates go hand in hand BEAUTIFULLY. the skirt STAYS for zinda

actually im a sucker for bombshells!Ivy’s dresses too, i know the big fandom push has been towards making her more butch but LISTEN.

wait, do i actually just want to see Bombshells on skates is that what all this is about. im gonna scre-

everyone else’s looks im still trying to figure out in my own brain but tbh, any artists out there who feel like doing their own spin on superhero inspired looks for these guys im *eyes emojis* would LOVE to see that actually would love to see that A LOT

imagine everyone color-coding their wheels, though, omg i need that

outside of derby i think Harley & Dinah would be rlly into jam/rhythm skating, Zee, Selina & Talia would like artistic skating, and Helena & Zinda would be into speed skating. Ivy and Babs like supporting their friends & esp their gfs but actually they’re trying rlly hard not to show them up bc theyre both pretty good at jam/rhythm themselves fjdkls

Now for the Extra Relationship Stuff:

Obvsly almost all of the sirens have dated each other at some point. Whether in the past or over the course of going to uni together. Cue even More Drama when Talia and Selina break up and Both start pursuing soon-to-be-drop-out Bruce (the dropping out is unrelated to the drama itself but I just think it’s funny if even in an AU setting Bruce drops out of college aksjak)

also listen ever since i read those GCS issues with Talia and Zee I’ve NEEDED to see Selina/Talia/Zee so so so badly. its my AU and its happening some fucking how i’ll make it work shut uppppp

Also I’m gonna throw in some real slowburn HarlIvy bc once again it’s MY AU AND I DO WHAT I WANT.

Yes Dinah and Zee become star-crossed/rival-to-lovers in this. Havent actually decided which way I wanna go bc starcrossed is Fun, but rivals gives me DRAMA and with them both being diff arts majors could Add to that aksj

the Birds marginally have their dynamics together better than the Sirens, but every so often there’s some communication issues bc yes, we need all the Drama in this!!! I demand it!!!

So yeah, if/when I ever plot this out, it would be something with equal focus on changing relationship and team dynamics, and then focus on how well each of the teams are doing leading up to the Big Bout where the Birds are out to Avenge Oracle. And do they succeed? I guess you’d have to read to find out lmao

Coming to a fanfic site near you...... eventually.......

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

Some opm fanfic ideas I’ve come up with thatIwishIcouldwrite ._.

1. Therapy! Maybe a bunch of heroes are pushed into taking therapy by the HA for legal reasons and it’s SO angst filled, what with Genos’ depressing past, Fubuki’s inferiority complex, Saitama’s depression, Metal Bat feeling pressure to be a good caretaker for Zenko, etc. Hey maybe in a Garou redemption take he ends up there too, taking in his childhood trauma. And everyone’s arguing like SHUT THE FUCK UP MY PAIN IS REAL and throwing stuff, meanwhile Saitama sits with Mumen (who I see needing physical therapy more than therapy therapy but coming there anyway to support heroes) and they drink tea and talk. Maybe eventually it mellows out and they can (sometimes) put their pride away to talk their stuff out, but Garou SWEARS he will kill anyone who talks shit on him!

2. Genos decides he can’t take it anymore and leaves to go find the Mad Cyborg cuz he knows he just can’t get strong like Saitama, even tho he doesn’t want to leave him. This has been done a bunch in fic BUT I rarely see any where Saitama goes with him! And maybe they like, go on adventures to get there and maybe over them, they grow closer, learn to speak to each other more, Genosai pining etc etc. oh and lots of camping together. When I imagine the end I always see like, either they find it and Genos almost dies but Saitama’s like no, we can do this TOGETHER and they punch it together, or a really emotional one where they find the cyborg’s corpse and Genos breaks down but admits he’s almost relieved, and yeah idk what else.

3. AA ok so I have three very self indulgent Au’s, I’ve talked about one on here and it’s kinda lame but I love the idea. K so, there’s this scene in A Star is Born with lady Gaga where she sings la vie en rose in a drag bar and when her and the main guy meet eyes they just!!instant attraction. So yeah my idea was that but Genos is a new drag queen at a drag bar owned by Fubuki and Saitama is a taffy puller at a candy shop (idk why I chose candy) with King and Mumen and Saitama goes to the bar for the first time cuz they’re promoting their candy there. And yeah lol it’s Genosai again, they start to hang out in and out of drag bars and for Genos, in and out of Genny, his dragsona (tho Genoko is way better now that I think about it). He has trust issues cuz shitty past etc and Fubuki takes him under her wing and they’re friends and she gives him advice. Oh and Sonic is a drag queen too, him and Genos are rivals, Tatsumaki owns a more popular bar and her and Fubuki have that sister rivalry, Garou and Badd work there as bouncers and mess with Genos all the time bc I love Shitty Teen Squad. Mizuki is a bouncer too :0 Also there’s Mizuki x Fubuki and Garou x Badd. Sonic x Mumen too I guess, tho I’m not as into that ship as before

4. My second self indulgent one oo boy. Soooo this is an au where everything is more monstrous, ppl are half or have become complete monsters, but more traditional ones usually, like Godzilla level kaiju, incubi, stuff like that. Except these monsters fit a teeny bit more into society, so there has to be something like a police force to get at em when they’re criminals but with heroes/detectives. Cue Genos and Mumen, totally BAD, SCARY eMO cop and goody🥳two😍shoes✨ good cop. One day they’re getting coffee or whatever when the whole place blows up, and while most people survived in wreckage, Genos notices-a monster! He chases after an incubus, and even rockets into the sky after him when he starts flying. Saitama’s like ow what the fuck, I didn’t do any of this I was just walking by! And Genos is like shut up scum >:( they take him in for questioning and learn he’s a super OP incubus (go figure) but he doesn’t have much of a sex drive and doesn’t “do the whole incubus thing.” Genos doesn’t believe him but Mumens like omg that must be so hard, have some more tea sweetie. Anyway Genos leaves it to Mumen and when he’s gone Saitama uses his convincing flirty powers to get Mumen to release him. He feels guilty about using his powers, he feels skeevy! But he really doesn’t wanna be there and escapes, Genos catches him etc and it’s a whole conspiracy all 3 of them have to figure out that actually goes super deep, also more Genosai lmaaoooooo

5. THIS IS MY DUMBEST ONE BUT I LOVE IT. Ok so Saitama is out walking in the woods one day and finds an abandoned cottage and he’s like oh sick. He goes back home but can’t get it off his mind. He keeps going back and fixes little bits of it here and there, really makes it shine and then Genos catches him and he’s like yo Sensei? Of course Genos takes the project super seriously bc Saitama is hardly ever interested in stuff so they get it done and pretty looking ridiculously fast. Then Saitama suggests like, living there every now and again for certain seasons. Genos says yes without thinking, and is floored by all the tender things he discovers come with cottage life, like a garden, taking care of little hurt birds and not accidentally hurting the house. He’s scared to tell Saitama but Sai eventually worms it out of him that he feels like he doesn’t belong, he’s so bulky and damaging to everything. Course Saitama feels awful for not realizing, hugs the shit out of him and apologizes. Then he gets the idea to help Genos feel like he can enjoy a simple life, help him hold animals, feed birds, etc. and Genos is like oh my GOD Saitama is too good to me 🥺🥺 and idk what else happens hhhh. anyway could be either established relationship or mutual pining, I like either for this story but the most IMPORTANT part is it’s full of cottagecore imagery and vibes or it’s not a simple cottage au, and I live by that. Anyway if anyone likes these and wants to use them then hell yeah! I can’t write to save my life, but please gimme credit 🧡🎃

[gucciorchid]

Strap in this is a Shakarian Great Gatsby AU

Well, It’s more like.. I made an whole AU around that one scene in The Great Gatsby. I wrote this whole thing just so Garrus could stare at a green light and YEARN. 

This is an outline post. You can read the snippet I wrote here.

I also wanted Garrus to get drunk and confess how the whole Gatsby-like party thing was for her and everything. Anyway, here it is: 

Sakarian Great Gatsby AU 

-Shepard and Garrus go way back. She was his commanding officer and they blew off steam once. They got pretty chummy after that. Flirting, bantering, exchanging quips. 

- he was recruited to do one big mission, and once that was over other obligations came up (maybe his mom got copalis) and had to leave shepard

-they keep in touch, send messages, but alliance regs and the distance just doesn't really help. Garrus constantly reaches out and all, but Shepard gets lots of promotions and all that- she's fuckin busy. 

*or, shepard made some tough calls (or or, she failed to save a big place bc she couldn't disarm the bomb in time and ppl blame it on her) during her missions and that basically forced the Alliance to incarcerate her to prevent a war. All of her messages are blocked. 

-And Shepard is released after a year. Its all done under the radar. Garrus finds out about this bit (this info wasnt encrypted as well as the other ones, weird) but after that shepard is essentially MIA. Everything about her becomes absolutely classified, and it gets to the point that nobody knows what happened to her. Like shes alive, but everything about her becomes classified. Top tier encryption.

-he knows Shep is alive (he gathered that much). But it does make him go through the whole omega archangel breakdown. 

-Goes to omega, succeeds in cleaning the place up somewhat. He now looks over this "safe zone" in omega. Other mercs says archangel just set himself up as another gang in omega, but garrus doesn't take protection money- he makes money by crashing slaver ships and ruining red sand shipments, etc.

-Just in case shep shows up (and he has a small hope that she will, bc she's always where the trouble is), he has this event every weekend to attract a certain type of people (aka shepard). He invites people with power to the safe zone every weekend. He figures if shepard is on omega, she'd need or want something from the top dogs (she always does). Officially, it's to keep the different factions sated and amicable. Pretty much every important leader of some faction or a gang is there except aria. 

-things are going relatively fine, until he hears about shadow brokers agent moving into omega. They buy out an apartment (In reality its the shadow broker aka Liara and shepard. Shep went dark to work with liara. Something about council making shep a spectre and bc she was tasked with something super classified everything about her became a secret.) 

-they set up a private comm tower disguised as some garish luxury decoration on top of their apartment/house (yes this is the green light) 

-shepard and liara stays inside and plan shit out. Only delivery drones go in or out. There are rumors that shepard is in there bc ok love combining 2 conspiracies. Also some ppl claim to have seen that iconic red hair through the window or smth. 

-Garrus stands out in the docks and stares at the green light almost every night (green, like shepard's eyes). Its a rumor, but garrus is hopeful and this time he feels it in his guts. 

-Garrus is too busy to visit- hes busy disrupting shipments and taking care of his team etc. But every night he stands out of his base and just stares at the green light.

-shepard knows garrus is there and he's the archangel  but she doesnt seek him out no matter how much she wants to bc hanging around garrus will obviously blow her cover. (Yeah people are saying shep might be here but that's a rumor. It can be dispelled)

-besides she's so close to finishing her mission. Garrus did her a favor by rounding up all the important people into an unarmed party every weekend. 

-shepards mission started out as simple im the beginning but that ended up being like going down a rabbit hole and one of the last targets left was this one important dude on omega. He keeps his position hidden and all, and his house is a fortress. While shep can essentially go and infiltrate, liara and shep figured it would be safer with the manpower they have to assassinate at the party garrus throws.

-So that's how shepard ends up in the party. Liara forged her identity and really, people think she looks like shepard but nobody believes she is actually shep. 

-she's swift, chats up her target, then garrus spots shepard. So many questions in his head. But he knows Shep and shes probably here bc she needs something from that one guy she's chatting up. He approaches them, pretends he doesnt know shep not to blow her cover. He checks the guest list and looks like sheps in as alice Gunn. 

"Archangel?" 

"Just Garrus to you, Gunn. Thought you might never make it to these parties. You declined every single time." 

"You know my line of work. I can't exactly spare a weekend on an asteroid to schmooze and drink fruity Thessian drinks. But I thought I'd make an exception for this weekend. Now as much as I want to play catch up with you, I think me and him(target) was in the middle of discussing something..." 

-Now at this point Garrus knows what's up. He knows shepard, and he knows that target is going to die (shep was going to kill him). Shepard picked a nice  spot to lure him in. A nice private area, and the most isolated part of the safe zone. Shepard shoots Garrus a Look, the same one shed give him during missions all those years ago. A look that she gave him after garrus scanned a room theyre about to infiltrate with his visor. Garrus nods, Shepard shoots at a point-blank range. But whoops, it looks like that guy was a machine. Infiltrator unit. (Like Eva, EDI's body).

"I'm guessing this wasn't supposed to happen." 

"Nope." 

-so many emotions with her mission semi-failing and finally meeting garrus, but She packs it all up and comms liara that plan A is a no go. They have to break in. 

-Garrus shuts the party down early etc etc. 

-shep brings garrus to their house. Garrus knows omega in and out- they could use his help locating the target. 

-they plan the heist and in between, garrus is so anxious and tries to talk to shep about other things. "How have you been" and "where were you."

"All over, Garrus. It'll probably take a whole night just to tell you the short version. Now's not a good time to catch up." 

"Shepard, it's a week until the break-in. We have time to talk." 

"Not now, garrus. Maybe later. After we see this through." 

-so during heist, it's like old times. Theyre exchanging quips and bantering, and Garrus watches her six. They work so well together. 

-heist done, mission goes well. 

-after shepard reports to the council and alliance officially announced shepard as not MIA, they finally have some downtime. 

-shepard has new scars, new stories, new grief and fatigue in her eyes. Her frame is harder than last time he saw her, and it's clear the years hasnt been kind to her. Hes kind of angry that alliance and council would just throw her to do this shit.

-they drink, talk, and catch up. Shep talks about other times she had to go undercover and its mishaps. They laugh.

-at some point Garrus says stuff about the party.

"All that was for you, shepard. Put a little, ah.. Elbowgrease into this place and figured I'd make a place where shepard wont be able to pass up. -i know, I know. Hell of a gamble. It was only non armed on the tin. Everyone there was armed."

-shepard gets all sullen. "Garrus that's-"

"Not part of regular human courtship protocol, i know. Believe me when I say I've seen the vids." It's clear Garrus said it as a joke. Shepard doesnt laugh.

"I thought it was my job to be reckless." 

"Two years is a damn long time. More than enough to change a person."

"Or a turian." Shepard can tell Garrus has something to say. She has a good idea on what he wants to say, too. 

"Shepard, I-" 

"I haven't forgotten our time together."

[unproduciblesmackdown]

How about some crisp headcanons/scenarios for Kleinphy?

mmmMMMMMMM…

okay FIRST OF ALL right off the bat, this is like, the hill i will live and fight and die on—ppl will generally say that like, in any au where connor and jared are interacting more regularly, that they would be fighting all the time like, bickering and arguing that would escalate into insults and stuff and like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i refute this!!!!!!!! okay, in their one canon interaction, just connor turning around to give jared A Look is enough to offput jared. and then as soon as connor starts to escalate the situation, jared just leaves. he is a little baby. or at least wholly uninterested in pushing back or Actually trying to insult connor and etc. because jared!! is the least confrontational person in the cast!!! he doesn’t express himself directly and there’s plenty more examples of smaller, less hostile conflicts where he just backs down every time. e.g. sincerely me when he lets evan make all the final decisions and swat him on the head lol…and disappear, when he’s automatically given the less important role in tcp, and when evan cuts him off and literally pushes him back when they’re at the murphys……like he’s clearly not thrilled with any of this, but he absolutely just goes along with it. i will say to anyone’s face that jared is worse at standing up for himself than evan is!!! and anyone else in the cast!! it’s not that his being so avoidant of any real confrontation/conflict is a good thing, because like, right there, he risks being walked over and just other situations where he’s unhappy w something but won’t/can’t/doesn’t stand up for himself, even on minor points. it’s not necessarily a good thing at all!!! so like, anything with connor that looked like it was gonna be ramping up into a Real Conflict would be over in 8 seconds tops because jared would so so quickly get to the point of only wanting to bail and definitely not wanting to do anything to exacerbate the situation

also, between their One Interaction and how jared brings up the printer incident ten years later, i do have the idea that jared is kind of intimidated by connor just like, inherently. not necessarily outright afraid, but a little on edge.

so like the thing i think about jared and connor’s interactions is that they’d really be Fraught in the earliest stage of things, because connor has a tendency to interpret unknown/ambiguous motivations as “this person is deliberately antagonizing me” and jared has a tendency to tease and be sarcastic and use this kind of humor allllll theeee tiiiiiime to communicate b/c he doesn’t really want to draw on anything too obviously Real and make himself vulnerable b/c, like the rest of them, he’s scared of everybody else………like obviously this could = conflict, just like it does in canon. and i’m not trying to say it in a “and that’s why they can never connect” way, because really, any of them would have conflicts like this that have the potential to just throw it all off course (i mean canon has them all end up being Not Friends and/or dead so. yknow) and this is about NOT that

see like if they were focused on how NOT to fuck up with each other, connor would very specifically have to not lose his temper suddenly into some mostly-self-propelled blowup, because of all of them jared is least equipped to handle that. but also because connor can’t be doing that shit to Anybody—out of all of them he obviously has the most significant and urgent shit he needs to learn how to deal with. like he can’t be out there being violent in any way or threatening. that’s just some shit that applies no matter what you’re talking about re: any sort of Connor Lives situation. and then yknow, jared would have to figure out that connor doesn’t take that kind of tongue in cheek ribbing very well and it’s all going to come across as insults and provocation, and maybe like…just don’t try to use that usual brand of humor with him b/c it’s not going to have the effect you want. and, like how connor needs to learn to Not blow up at people for anyone’s sake and also his own, jared also learning how to not lean so much on that one style of communication is gonna be good for his interactions with absolutely anybody, and also gonna be good for himself. like, these things they’d really need to work on right off and very consciously re: getting along with the other would just like, really help them in major ways and affect their whole general lives positively UGH

okay that’s just that constant disclaimer / premise. now hopefully about some potential ideas and scenarios and stuff huh? though admittedly i don’t have as many as for kleinsen because a) jared and connor only interact the one time whereas jared is in love with evan for the entire musical and b) connor dies technically and c) anything asking me to be creative and original for five seconds means i just cough up blood and pass out for a while. but still!!!!!! i do like to think about connor and jared being Good Friends because i think they could be and In Love because i mean, why not think about that? and imo it’s Intriguing and I Like It

i think like, the most Difficult start they could have is if they had that first semi-inadvertent conflict that stems primarily from misunderstanding / misunderstanding / miscommunication in general, and like…..if connor was to react Particularly badly for whatever reason and be upset enough to like, really really blow up at jared, i think that with jared being as sensitive to that as he is, it would sort of like. be like no okay this has to be put on pause until and unless you can like, never do that again. like, jared just going right into “only wanting to avoid connor entirely and never engage” mode, and like, there’s this very small window where he could be convinced to not just only run away forever now if he could believe that like, there was a chance it might NOT happen again, aka connor would be trying to avoid that kind of situation from being repeated too. and it might still be real tense for a while, like there’d be times they just hit a brick wall because connor is getting mad at jared and it’s really difficult for him to kind of, recognize in himself what’s Justified Anger vs what isn’t, but if he could at least figure out ways to rein in the immediate reaction itself to where like, even things like leaving the room or just signalling that they need to both Not Say Words to each other for a while, or that sort of thing, to just make sure that he doesn’t like. go the fuck off on jared again and scare him off forever cuz it would definitely be a “fool me twice, strike three” scenario where there’s like. absolutely no room to repeat the incident cuz like, its not that anyone would expect an overnight change and for things to go perfectly just because they both want it hard enough, but it’d still be like, i need you to have learned how not to let this thing happen again. it can still be messy and not ideal and not exactly Prime Communication yet, but like, basically doing what needs to be done so that they can avoid that kind of explosive conflict again, and everything else is secondary priority. it would be really slow going and jared would be really cautious and more on guard but like, being able to see connor’s efforts would count for a lot and it would Really count for a lot to see that connor considered it worth it to really make sure that there was no repeat of that mess

it’s also possible that they do kind of have like, small interactions where they both quickly repel each other cuz jared says some shit and connor thinks he’s only trying to engage with him to be a dick, so they both just like. yknow deflect off each other and don’t really try to accomplish anything more. cuz, really, jared bails thrice in canon, and so does connor (except okay i guess The Final Bail sigh) which also counts for a lot cuz it happens in like, five minutes lol……so in a way that could work for them because they’d both rather Walk Away than deal with the other’s shit today…….like even if they’re not exactly having any particularly communicative or emotionally interactions this way, they’d still maybe slowly be getting used to each other and connor might eventually catch on that jared’s a total loser with no real leverage over him anyways and just says shit like that all the time because he’s a dumbass and thus is Likely Not A Threat…..i mean, seeing as how connor does seem to have real issues with paranoia, this isn’t exactly enough for him to suddenly decide to be pals, but like, it could at least be a slow path to letting them both settle down a bit re: each other and thus be in a better place for it if they Were to get the chance to like, actually talk about something real for ten seconds

this would all be easier if all four of the seniors were friends b/c tbh i think alana could vouch for connor to jared and evan could vouch for jared to connor…..saying some shit in terms of like “chill out, he’s not trying to ruin your life, he’s just a dumbass” etc and like, and just sort of letting them get to know each other within the four-person-group before having to do anything one-on-one and such. so that could speed things up a little and also really help in case jared and connor have any Big Misunderstandings where they then get real on edge about each other again……just to like have these third parties to not only help them settle down a bit but also potentially mediate and figure out where the problem may have initially developed lol since it’s a bit tricky do that kind of somewhat detached, not-freaked-out / defensive analysis on your own while you’re very not detached and are freaked out and defensive. it would help things along for sure in terms of smoothing out the course of the early development of their relationship and kind of letting it develop a bit faster.

but!!! even with that!! i do think that even in terms of being friends, things would develop very slowly and cautiously, especially at first. b/c they both need to develop this trust re: each other, first of all. like connor needs to be able to see jared as a friend and not someone who might turn on him, and jared is on the verge of being worried about interacting with connor and needs to be able to feel like connor isn’t going to try to hurt or threaten him or any of that kind of shit or just hate him for no reason, cuz connor’s internal leaps of reasoning about “here’s why this shit jared just said means i’m Pissed Off Now” wouldn’t necessarily make any sense to jared and he wouldn’t even necessarily know connor is going through that mental process. like in his mind he says something innocuous or something that’s basically the same as shit he’s already said forty times that connor wasn’t bothered by. ANYWAYS the point i think that The Most Likely thing would be a very deliberate, tentative slow burn into being friends, and then a whole other (but slightly less fragile and nervous) slow burn into like, ~^*`-~more than friends…-*`_~-

Having Said That lemme contradict it entirely!!! i know sometimes ppl have the hc that their relationship could stem from a friends with benefits situation, and like, i think that’s sorta plausible in terms of them both being able to construct these parameters where they know neither of them have to worry about like, how they feel about each other or whatever or about the interactions ever being relevant outside said parameters. plus the mutual insecurity that like, they don’t even HAVE to be insecure around each other because they are just That Certain that he doesn’t have emotions about this and it doesn’t even matter if he’s attracted to you b/c you just know he’s not, we’re being practical about this okay. while it’d probably overlap with the coping methods they already aren’t so great at, i don’t think it would exactly be a We’re-Only-Ever-Venting thing where they’re always dealing with each other while one or both of them is frustrated. like it’s probably sort of chill actually. like, we’ve been partnered for this project and eventually i invite you over One Time so we can finish it up, and then we both lose focus and motivation after a while and end up making out instead, and a few weeks later its like hey wanna hang out again, and it’s just a periodic and sporadic thing that happens and they’re just Whatever and Casual and then a slow understanding of each other creeps up on them, cuz they’ve got their guard down

which leads me to saying that like, i think the fact it seems so difficult for jared and connor to connect could kind of be a silver lining to really helping them connect. cuz of that letting their guard down thing. i am pretty sure neither of them would expect at all to become friends with the other. they would really really REALLY not expect to like, want to be boyfriends. i don’t exactly think it would necessarily be a sort of like, all at once out of nowhere Epiphany Moment Omg I’m In Love scenario for either of them, but like…..to even consider the concept for a second would be pretty bewildering the first time…….to start to Suspect you’re interested in this fuckin guy would be like. oh. okay then. very calm internal scream. anyways!!!

and then, see, the fact that they would be so caught off guard would be helpful. the less they use their usual On Guard modes around each other, the better. the development of their relationship would sort of seem to happen in the background to them until suddenly some newer understanding sneaks up and it’s like…………well. maybe. i guess. idk. hgghfh

like, the other day i was imagining this scenario where like, it’s 9pm on a weeknight and jared’s sitting in his room and sort of halfassing some homework while intermittently pausing to continue this slow, ongoing back and forth with connor via text. and like its not any particular meaningful conversation, they’re mostly telling each other to fuck off and telling tongue and cheek jokes and stuff and like. jared keeps rolling his eyes mostly but finally he like. sits there and looks at his phone for a minute and just thinks about the fact that he and connor are like, just texting each other for the hell of it, it’s not a “alana was asking about ___ and do you know anything about that shit” “uh..no” “ok thanks for nothing” type exchanges where it can be explained as something one of them begrudgingly has to do…..and also jared isn’t totally hating it………and he’s just like………oh my god are we like, friends???

upon reflection he realizes they may have been Actual Friends for like, months now, possibly

jared actually like, wants to ask so he can know for sure. as in like hey, so, are we friends?

except the thing is that jared cannot bring himself to directly ask connor this out of the blue, and surprisingly there’s never really a moment in any casual conversations in which it seems like it would be a natural thing to ask. so actually what he ends up doing is finding a moment in casual conversation in which he can, in passing, refer to connor as his friend.

connor doesn’t really react when this happens, and jared is actually just kind of relieved and just keeps on talking nbd. but despite connor’s lack of external reaction he is actually reacting internally and it’s sort of a huge deal for him and he didn’t really expect to care that much if jared considered him an actual friend or not but apparently he does

also i know sometimes ppl will do like past-kleinphy-connor-still-dies ideas. even though tbh i feel like these scenarios are like, aren’t canon compliant and gotta be an au b/c like, with the way it is in canon no way did jared have an at-all personal relationship with connor at any point. not even if you think “well what if he’s really good at hiding it.” but it’s definitely still kind of wild and Interesting to think of these like, possible moments in their past where they had some secret private Affair of being…something to each other, even if only for this one occasion. like, surprise, he and *i* were the secret gay high school lovers.

kind of along those lines i also had this implausible, vaguely fleshed-out au idea in my head along those lines where like…….i always think about jared doing drama dept tech / backstage shit partly for the sake of feeling like he has friends while he’s there. and i severely doubt connor ever did that kind of stuff but maybe the dept was shorthanded one time and connor was Having Some Difficulties in terms of getting in trouble w the school and sort of was assigned to join the dept for the production and help build sets or some crap as like, community service type deal instead of being suspended again or whatever, idk, connor is there. and it’s getting closer to the production so there’s some Late Evenings In The Theater and idk, you know ppl are occasionally hanging out for impromptu Truth Or Dare or Never Have I Ever or Spin The Piece Of PVC Pipe. connor happens to be involved in one such circle only because he happens to be sitting nearby fucking around on his phone and he’s having an okay day so he’s not actually involved but he’s fine with staying there while ppl do their shit and just flipping everyone off if they jokingly suggest he participates, and jared happens to wander in en route to wherever and is like yeah sure i’ll drop in for a second just to Feel Included And Accepted. let’s say they’re playing spin the pvc pipe, ironically lol, but still following the rules so what does it matter. and jared is sort of trying not to act like he’s nervous even though he’s maybe been kissed like, once or twice or maybe never and he’s pretty sure nobody wants to kiss him even ironically, and he’s not entirely sure he can handle this situation but he’s going to try. nobody’s spin lands on him but a couple times there are Same Gender kisses and jared is kind of like…….what if that happens to me……….and every time it’s a guy’s turn his heart kind of picks up and he’s not sure if this is good nervous or bad nervous but he knows the thought of it happening to him is kind of giving him a bit of a thrill. and finally it gets to him and he’s like, dying nervous inside, but he’s also telling himself he’s got to get it together enough to take his spin one damn time, and lo and behold it stops between two people in the circle but still pointed at fuckin connor murphy over there a few feet away. and everybody notices this exact fact and are like “connnnnorrrrr” and connor looks up at this and figures out the situation and he and jared make eye contact and jared is blushing like hell and frozen up but he’s also trying hard to get himself to not be a fuckin baby and like, move forward and get up and go over there and kiss him for 1.2 seconds. but then connor just deadpans like “yeah hilarious” and gets up to go hang out in the greenroom instead. and jared is sort of like. really embarrassed and actually disappointed and sort of feeling like that was an example of nobody wanting to kiss him even ironically. but he tries to play it all casual despite feeling really awkward and kind of wanting to leave now. and so then he hangs around for the next few ppl’s turns but then he kinda just leaves and it’s not like anybody tries to stop him. and he goes off and does whatever work he was gonna do, alone in some room down the hall or smthing. maybe an hour later he goes to whatever tucked-away place serves as the Vault of costumes and props and materials and etc, lo and behold again, connor murphy’s there too actually looking for something. kind of gives jared a heart attack, and then jared feels awkward again, because that’s sort of how you feel all the time when it’s just you and connor but now he’s feeling it even more so. but connor is just sort of not taking any note of him. but, because he’s been replaying the moment in his head slightly several dozen times and trying to imagine what everyone might’ve been thinking of him b/c eternal insecurity, it’s occurred to him that not only does connor possibly find him too repulsive to kiss even ironically, but maybe connor saw him Not Moving At All and thinks he was refusing to kiss connor even ironically, and he is aware that connor is also not exactly romantically successful as far as he knows and thus like. maybe insulted. and since he’s probably gonna be around connor most every day for at least a few weeks more, he sort of doesn’t want to risk giving connor a reason to have a grudge specifically against him. just in case, and stuff. and so after half a minute he sort of not-so-convincingly-casually is all “oh btw uh back earlier i didn’t like, want to not kiss you.” and connor is like “what” and jared is interally like fuck, and out loud he is like “i mean i wasnt trying not to kiss you” and connor is like “what??” and jared is dying a bit like “i mean i was gonna kiss you before you left” and connor turns and looks at him and jared looks at him back once again having a deer-in-the-headlights type response to his stress and connor’s like “okay why are you telling me this” and jared shrugs and connor’s like “did you Want to kiss me or something?” and jared is like “i kind of wanted to kiss like, fuckin somebody. i wasn’t trying to blow you off or whatever. unless i guess you didn’t want to have to kiss me.” and connor looks at him again but gives a tiny bit of a “looking you over” glance too and then shrugs and then jared is suddenly awash in gay feelings again like Oh God. and then they’re making sustained eye contact again and connor is very hard to read but also he doesn’t seem mad or disgusted and jared is having a hard time thinking of some reason this moment is happening besides that they’re both considering kissing each other right now and also he’s having a hard time thinking in general but now he’s trying to think of what ways this situation could go wrong if he tried to kiss connor rn. and after a Moment he’s like “…………..did you not want to kiss me?” and connor is all …shrug. still watching him. and jared’s like “………………….Do you wanna?” and connor shrugs, still watching him, and then connor’s all “well, do You?” and jared is sort of freaking out inside and can’t make his voice or anything work for a second but finally he manages to nod and sort of shrug and go “yeah.” and connor turns towards him and jared manages to also take a step forward and then its a bit of a blur and then they’re kissing and jared is like. very much enjoying kissing a guy. actually starting to shake a little and then connor puts a hand on the back of his head and jared is sort of having that heart attack again. and it lasts maybe ten seconds but when they pull back jared is wildly obviously extremely flustered and looking at connor like he’s waiting to see if connor might go for another kiss and that fact convinces connor to for another kiss and he retreats with him even further into the Unexplored Distant Realms of the room where they make out for a little while and, That Sure Happens

i think that one goes beyond the boundaries of “tell me your hcs” but oh well. i would never have the stamina to make it into a proper fic but i can write a wall of text, sorry about that

anyways back to the notions of kleinphy in general, speaking of proper fics, them easing towards A Dating Type Relationship would yeah be like, very slow and cautious, small steps, carefully observing each other along the way as they get more used to each other. a slowburn of slowburns that i could probably never properly write b/c what’s pacing? but yeah

and between that and how they’d have to figure out how not to freak each other out, they’d basically both learn that the other is really sensitive and hugely insecure. what i’m saying is that by the time they feel comfortable enough and trust each other enough to Be Together, they are both very aware of this, and thus are like. really gentle with each other actually. to the point of caution.

jared is already sort of used to being close to someone who might have these Incapacitating Problems and breakdowns and etc in that he’s sort of had to learn like, the lore on evan’s official and unofficial coping mechanisms and strategies so he can Be Helpful if he needs to and like. he’s nervous to just up and ask connor all about this kind of stuff but he tries really hard to pick up on anything he can and also try to apply what he already knows wrt evan’s brand of anxiety. usually when he thinks he needs to he kind of just asks “what do you need me to do rn” because he honestly like. can’t think of what else he should do or say and really doesn’t want to get it wrong b/c he knows that with evan, sometimes instinctive would-be comforting measures are actually fully counterproductive so like. he just asks. but it’s different than it is with evan and tbh connor’s gonna be struggling with Acting Out more than evan does and like, that’s new to jared, so it takes some calibration from both of them to figure out how to like, do the best they can by each other, and sometimes it’s definitely a challenge and they have to figure out how to make sure they’re on the same page. like maybe there’s some point where they’re hanging out together but like, suddenly Something Gets To Connor and his mood shifts and jared’s seeing it happen and being like, what would help, do you wanna talk about it rn, should i hold you or not, and connor’s trying to figure it out and is like actually i think i should be alone for a while. and jared’s like……oh, like, should i go…? and connor’s like yeah i think maybe b/c yeah anything else is probably gonna be too much and i don’t want to like, get mad. and jared’s like no yeah okay yeah. and he does like, understand, but he also sort of feels bad. and he’s still feeling bad / self-conscious the next day and connor notices b/c he’s already paying attention to see if he made jared feel bad. and he’s asking about that and jared’s saying like, no seriously i do get it i know you don’t hate me but like, okay, yeah, i kind of felt a little bad. and they kind of figure out how maybe to avoid that like, ok so next time what if we have a phone call later? and jared’s like yeah, that kind of thing would be nice, but jsyk like…………..i could stay with you whenever you want someone to be with you, even if you’re having a really shit time. like even if you need to do something weird to calm down cuz i’m not gonna care if its weird. like if you need me to leave its cool. but if i can stay and help i’d be cool with that. but yeah a phone call lol

((searching for my Restraint…))

like jared doesn’t love feeling like he can’t be like, beneficial to connor. and he knows connor’s kinda obviously private and stuff and there’s a lot of shit he doesn’t show to everybody and jared like…wants to know and see and be there for these things and he wants to feel like he can be important enough and liked enough for that. connor isn’t quite jumping at the chance all the time cuz he doesn’t want jared to be disappointed or decide he’s not worth the effort and etc

they’re Secretly Dating also like…..connor doesn’t want to deal w the rest of his family knowing and honestly jared doesn’t want to deal with them either and is fine with his own parents not knowing, thanks. also jared doesn’t tell evan for ages b/c he doesn’t know how tf to bring it up

also in any connor lives au i only want all four seniors getting to be friends and in any au jared and alana deserve to be friends and really like, connor would’ve made friends with alana more easily than he would w anyone else and felt comfortable around her sooner. and back before getting together, while connor was really playing it safe and trying to give utterly zero indication of Developing Feelings, jared thought he was getting the world’s most-impossibly-unrequited crush and becoming increasingly distressed over how to deal with this and worried that maybe connor doesn’t like him all that much as friends anyways, he might’ve checked in once or twice with alana to see if connor had mentioned being bothered by him at lunch today or the like. she’s like “he hasn’t mentioned you today” and jared’s like :) (’:

slowburn amidst slowburn, it takes a long long time before they kiss. connor initiates it, like, some not-at-all-romantic-or-remarkable situation like idk they’re in the damn school one evening as everyone’s shown up in support of an extracurricular event of alana’s and it’s been a pretty decent and chill time and jared and connor were having some casual conversation and jared’s all okay but i super have to pee and so connor just followed him along to the bathroom and waited outside but when jared showed up again connor was like hey cmere a minute and leads him into the nearest classroom and jared is thoroughly nonplussed and then connor is quiet for a moment and jared kind of gets the idea that he should just be quiet too and wait for whatever this is, and what it is is that connor turns to stand right in front of him and jared heroically does not reflexively move away and connor puts a hand on jared’s face and jared only short circuits a bit and connor asks if he can kiss him and jared is like Yeah. and so connor does, and it’s real soft and simple and like six seconds in duration, and then jared is like hang on i have to sit down at one of these desks for a second, b/c it’s not like he had zero warning but this was still A Lot and he is sort of literally lightheaded. connor sits down at an adjacent desk and they talk a little and then kiss again and jared holds on to connor’s arms above the elbow and connor tells jared his glasses are cute and jared kind of wants to cry

speaking of, after they’ve started dating there’s just some accidental occasion where they’re hanging out and jared’s just sort of feeling bad that day for no especial reason and connor makes some passing deadpan comment about something he does and it’s not like the way he says it is exactly pointed or frustrated but it just so happens to hit jared right in the Deeply Insecure b/c maybe it’s not even something he was aware of about himself, but now that the observation’s been made he’s like, oh my god, and kinda feels like shit real fast and totally starts crying like a super cool and chill guy. and connor’s like, oh my god. and jared’s like no, fuck, i’m not even that upset, i’m just like, stupid today, don’t panic i’m just like yeah, give me like two minutes here and it won’t even be a problem hang on. and he does kind of get it together fairly quickly because it really is mostly Spilling Over Stress and connor tries to be nice and it’s really actually okay but the next chance he gets connor talks to evan just to gain some insider knowledge on stuff that jared likes because he really wants to do something extra nice for him cuz like. well even if i didn’t actually deal an awful emotional blow to you, if you were having a crap day i’d like to know how to help you feel better anyways so

The Concept of connor wearing one of jared’s layers…………….always good but with their difference in fashion sense here it’s especially good

the thing is that as they get closer and more familiar and comfortable with each other and secure in their relationship, they kind of both ease back into like, this softer and playful version of the shit they originally had to back off from… like jared can tease connor, he likes to do it in a chill and/or flirty way now though, and connor can sort of Put On an act of being annoyed / unimpressed by jared. and they both know that not only is it not gonna push the other away but they’ll actually enjoy it now

jared sometimes goofs around and Gets Silly cuz he likes to make connor laugh (despite himself)

like he really really likes it when he can get connor to laugh. which sometimes means just a grudging smile that jared fully understands is the equivalent of a laugh. loves it

they get even more comfortable with each other and the loving insults come out. it mostly happens when they’re around other ppl and thus gonna refer to each other in third person, like “this fuckin dipshit” and “like the dumb bastard supreme he is” and “connor’s whole haunted sentient dishtowel vibe” and etc and it’s absolute affection at this point

screeching halt to backtrack and mention prior-to-canon-kleinphy au’s in which connor still dies…..where they sort of had *something* at some point but sort of very unspoken and fleeting and hard to pin down and by senior year it’s definitely firmly in their past but…..oofeth

god where are we right now. this is so long. i’ve got less solid ideas than ever for these two and said ideas are really all over the place and just whatever and augh

oh this is just an idea for any connor lives au in general but like let connor’s not-coping ass get some form of treatment that helps him and evan can vouch for therapy/medication and in doing so kind of inadvertently feel better about it by Validating Himself and just like, really they could all use some damn therapy, but god knows connor especially, help him out some eh? b/c even if he’s got more motivation and additional positive relationships and crap it’s still gonna be wildly difficult for him and it’d be nice if he had some professional assistance

connor likes when jared spoons him. he’ll read like that while jared takes a freakin nap

i’ve said so much but i feel like i’m missing so much

connor actually does like things that are like, kinda bright and fun actually. he’s got fairly varied tastes and interests. he’s just also being edgy. what i’m saying is he likes Experiencing any of jared’s many playlists which definitely always include bops

there’s some Antics occasion where they slip up and say they both fall asleep in jared’s bed and nobody wakes up twenty minutes later and instead they wake up in the actual morning and it was a school night and like, both jared’s parents are home, who still don’t know jared’s dating anyone at all, and they can’t wait as long as they need before trying to sneak connor out, so they sort of have to just wing it and connor only puts on socks and carries his shoes and jared keeps going ahead of him to scope it out and they make it to jared’s car and it’s fine actually but jared was super miserably stressed the whole time and connor wasn’t having the time of his life either

connor likes to draw but he’s not like, especially good at it. he just likes to doodle and jared likes to keep them

one day jared has this roll of stickers he got from somewhere like all “great job!” and “100%!” type ones and he gives them to connor for whatever minor reason he can think of, but he likes to do it kind of unpredictably so it’ll still be a bit of a surprise. like it’s lunchtime and connor lets jared have one of his chicken tenders and eight minutes later jared digs around in his backpack and leans over and puts “super star!” on connor’s shirt under his hoodie

for a long time jared’s worried that it’ll turn out he doesn’t have it in him to handle connor’s worst kinds of days and for a good while connor just keeps Requesting Solitude at such times and jared practices telling himself that this doesn’t mean connor doesn’t like him enough and can helpfully have this supported by the fact that connor still talks to him via calls or texts as soon as he’s in a conversational sort of place again. but eventually jared Is there on a very bad day and he actually finds that like…….he’s way far away from the place he used to be when his main association with connor was “im still freaked out about that printer”…..like idk he just finds him a lot easier to Get and Read now and really feels this motivation to support him and connor’s trying on his own end too and it’s all really not that dramatic and jared getting to be there with him isn’t some transformative thing but after a few hours connor’s telling him thank you i’m glad you’re here and jared’s like don’t even mention it but he’s really glad and it’s a nice confidence boost to know he’s like, not useless or pathetic or [insult he levels at himself sometimes]

jared will elaborately go in to kiss connor on the cheek with the sole intent of connor pushing him away via a hand against his face

jared has his own pillow in connor’s closet cuz he likes using two so that gets broken out whenever he’s sleeping over which is rarely because it’s a lot easier to get the kleinman house to yourself, but connor keeps it on hand just in case

jared and connor both come to learn that jared’s pretty fond of giving hugs. and that connor really likes to hold hands. the latter will happen kind of sporadically though. jared lets connor initiate it every time and what’ll happen is connor will lightly and wordlessly touch jared’s forearm and jared will take his hand w/o missing a beat

just thought of for some reason, halloween. who knows how it happens to him but connor knows at least a few days ahead of time that he’s gonna be an angel and it sucks he can’t like, have pyrotechnics or whatever, is what he tells jared. and jared’s like oh connor the couples costume potential is just so potent…..and they still haven’t even told anyone they’re dating but connor’s like what are you gonna be dressed as yourself and rightfully assume ppl will think you’re the devil and jared’s like wow is that the best you can do then, ok. but jared does a nametag costume wherein he is jacob

speaking of-ish, their First Time is directly thanks to jared jokingly trying to seduce connor and connor for once playing along with just as little seriousness but like 18 seconds later it was like oh, hmm. this is real now. babe

speaking of humorous seduction @merry-the-cookie ’s art of jared leaning in with his foot way up on a wall beside connor’s waist all “fancy seeing you here” is now forever a kleinphy hc

i’ve said so much yet i feel like i’ve actually offered so little

oh well it’s not like this is my definitive and comprehensive post on the matter, just a very long one. god knows please continue to @ me about kleinphy at any time

[meggannn]

i finished my shenko playthrough...... and it made me sad bc i liked so much of it, there were so much good kaidan dialogue in me3 that i found really touching, and then i remembered that kaidan is dead in my canon :( i feel like i appreciate him more but i also just...... ashley is my girl........ i love her so much

anyway thoughts/notes/liveblogging 2 months late is all behind the cut

me1

the beginning of the renegade playthrough is p much just shepard throwing a tantrum going "i dont wanna" and anderson going "YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY"

Shepard: *murders everyone in the compound* Kyle: I respect that you have come under a banner of peace,

why do sniper rifles move when you zoom in tho like what's the fucking point lmao. is garrus considered an expert sniper just cause he can fuckin shoot anything at all

“I understand the discomfort she feels. The threat is very real.” so it’s canon Garrus has first response victim shock training

Baynham: here take these gas grenades that will knock ppl out instead of killing them Kaidan: I can hook them up to our launchers no problem Garrus: Why don't we use them Commander? Shepard: We're not doing that. Wipe everything out.

“How come every time there’s a problem you come running to me?” okay first off it’s hilarious that shepard talks to hackett like that, and secondly he resonds with: “Shepard you’re a Spectre” which is interesting. it’s not like he can assign her missions as a Spectre. it’s prob just abt prowess? or he uses her position for alliance gain

Shepard: Are you telling me this VI is thinking on its own? Hackett: We're not stupid, Shepard. Shepard:

(pulling a gun on the staff of Noveria) Garrus: Citadel authority supersedes yours. // you know he was thrilled to say that lmfaooo

“If by ‘secure the situation’ you mean ‘shoot every monster on sight,’ then sure.” good god

shepard, with spectre class gear, cleaning out this dude’s stock just to convert it all to omnigel: show me what you got

(to sovereign) Garrus: “The protheans vanished 50k years ago! You couldn’t have been there! It’s impossible!” Garrus sounds like an annoying kid in class lmfao

“Organic life was a mistake” this is why I don’t trust the fucking Reapers or starchild to give it to me straight. REAPERS ARE HALF ORGANIC!!!

Kirrahe: You have my respect, Commander. Shepard: I’d rather have Williams back than your respect. // jlSKJFLDSK

every time I destroy a colossus in the Mako now I’m reminded when shepard fights one of these fuckin things ON FOOT

“Cut me a little slack, Shepard. It’s not like you’re easy to read.”

vigil is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. i think i figured out why, it's the first time shepard (and at large, this cycle) realizes she has allies. more than she knows. every race that's been exterminated wants to see the reapers dead. every single one is supporting shepard the protheans weren't just wiped out. they didn't just fight till the bitter end. they made contingency plans. their last messages were also ones of hope. and they succeeded. shepard's gonna have to do most of the work on her own; of course she is. and she knows most history is lost. but all of that work has added up and will add up, and she realizes here she's gotta make all that work worth something. she can't leave it for the next cycle to clean up. like vigil’s talk is essentially: "aliens of the future, we are a dead race. we can't fight with you anymore. but we can be there to make sure you win. do not make our sacrifice in vain. we, and every race that came before us, the millions of us, deserve the chance." AND OH LOOK WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF

vigil talks abt how the last ilios scientists (abt a dozen) took a one-way trip to the citadel after the reapers had left their cycle, and spent their remaining years severing the connection btw the keepers' automatic trigger function to activate the citadel relay and that the scientists probably died cold miserable and hungry bc the citadel was like, not exactly equipped for life anymore, and it was just a handful of people, so they wouldnt have gotten even a wing up and running. what's the bet that these scientists were also the leading engineers on the crucible, and they divided their time btw these two projects? the keepers succeeded, the engineers did everything they could to do more, add more ideas to this project, before they expired and they made the pods they were buried in biodegradable? or something? so that keepers would be able to dispose of them and their bodies couldn't be used for future experiments/slave labor if reapers or indoctrinated forces/collectors came back

this is my first time getting the apartment on intai’sei and THERE ISN’T EVEN A BATHROOM.

me2

just sharing this mod from someone who made “play as every character except shepard” mods. you can ask jacob what the hell a collector is WHILE DRESSED AS A COLLECTOR

“This pistol doesnt have a thermal clip” SHEPARD IS THAT REALLY THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO SAY AFTER AWAKING FROM A COMA. I love that not only is the first thing shep does on awakening is complain abt the state of her gun, but also that she wakes in full armor

ive been wondering if miranda planned the attack on lazarus station. she knows shepard is a woman of action. her trust in people comes from knowing they'll weather the storm with her. maybe this attack on the station was all to get her to trust jacob, or at least, not attack miranda on sight? if she woke up in a lab or hospital with cerberus logos leaning over her? uhhhh yeah, she's getting the hell out of here. if her first xp is fighting through fire w a few of them first? uh...... i'll hear you out at the VERY least, but i wont like you. that's what miranda wants

miranda seems to like renegade shep. she like respects the no bullshitting around i guess, cut from the same cloth?

twenty four permanent crew onboard the Normandy. jotting that down

Donnelly: Want to play some Skyllian Five with us later? Shepard: This isn’t a casino. Get back to work.

grunt says "arm one hand, offer the other. wise, shepard." that's one of my favorite lines descripting shepard, it fits mine perfectly

Shep: They offered me Spectrehood and I told them where to shove it. Udina: Are you trying to start a war? What the hell is wrong with you?

when you buy upgrades at the citadel stores, one tech damage purchase description describes the rls btw tools and neural connectors, so it’s canon omnitools are hooked up to neural implants. *scribbles that down for later* I’m not sure if that’s the right term but we know at least it’s connected in some way so that tools are individualized to their user

the turian hunting supplies guy is still one of my favorite minor npcs

on shepard’s likeness being used in the media: “The colony of Mindoir has won the right to use Shepard’s likeness on its seal.” okay this is interesting but also confusing because i figured since shepard is military, and now a public figure/no longer a private citizen, there was no need for people to ask to use her likeness. but there was a company that requested her permission in the armax arena to use her footage for a video. maybe for things like charity etc it’s necessary?

there are only five wards. somehow I never caught that that wards = arms of the Citadel. wtf. this changes everything

jacob: “you were the alliance poster child for like six months. then they replaced it with some composite image. guess you didn't field test right. perfect example of humanity, and they still dump you." // so it's canon the alliance whitewashes shepard, right? lol

shepard: i'm glad you're enjoying it here miranda. just remember who's in charge. miranda: i know exactly who's in charge. i report to him regularly. OUCH LMAO

one of the fuckin funniest things i experienced in this playthrough was: Shepard: I didn't let you look at those (cerberus datapads). Jack: I get impatient. Shepard: (close up on fist and angry red eyes) DO NOT violate the integrity of my ship again. Jack: (not paying attention) Yeah, ok.

Thane: I have a son. Shepard: All right, you spawned. Organic species tend to do that. Is that all?

more shepard being an asshole to thane: “just give it to me straight. i’m not interested in your philosophical BS.” GOD SHEPARD

asari are canonically into egyptology, cool

IF YOU FEED THE VARREN ON TUCHANKA IT’LL FOLLOW YOU AROUND, HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS TILL NOW

playing a complete asshole on garrus’s eye for an eye just reminds me how much i hate his loyalty lmao. i hate it on paragon, i hate it on renegade. if you agree w him on everything re revenge, beating harkin up, he’s like “i knew you’d understand” and “somehow I didn’t think you would (have a problem with what I’m planning to do)”. it’s just like. sad. idk. I hate this quest so much but I also hate people who play renegade shepard/garrus completely without criticism. it’s also why i hate those “garrus and shepard as gang bosses au” aesthetic shit. this kind of rls is not healthy. not that paragon is strictly the way to go, cause paragon can be self-righteous and preachy, esp in this mission, which bothers me too.

Bailey: You’re trying to save your son. Of course I’ll help. Thane, staring at him unblinkingly, with deep black eyes: He faces a dark path. Bailey:

weirdly this was the renegade option that made me feel really fuckin bad: Shepard: I didn’t want to do that. We don’t have much time. Mouse: Just go away, man. Thane: I’m sorry too, Mouse. Mouse: Just… go.

legion: windows are structural weaknesses. geth do not use them. heretic station: *is filled with fuckin windows*

Shepard: What’s your assurance worth? Your loyalty switches with quantum bits. EDI: Loyalty is based on mutual respect, common experience, and common cause. We share two of those. // HOT DAMN

have i mentioned that i fuckin hate how the varren, husks, and abominations are all armored on insanity

saving the collector base feels more like a bitter/unnerving victory instead of a triumphant/defiant one. more like "i hope i didnt just make a huge mistake handing that collector base to a terrorist group" lol

possibly one of my top favorite lines in the entire fucking series now which i have never heard before because i never picked the renegade options w him, thane: Just don't make the mistake I did. There's always another mission. None of them are an excuse to make yourself an island.

EVEN MIRANDA DOESNT APPROVE OF SAVING THE BASE "Before I started this mission, I never would've questioned our goals... I hope whatever Cerberus finds at that base is worth it."

Tela Vasir: I heard you weren't reinstated. Too bad -- you did good work. // so do all spectres respect shepard or something? even the corrupt ones? lmao

honestly liara's obviously unrequited love for shepard (if you romance someone else ofc) makes me so sad. like, she cries when she gets revenge on the person who stole ur body, dresses up when she comes to visit you on the normandy, says "funny, we're in the same room for the first time in 2yrs and we talk about anything but ourselves" like..... she misses and mourned and is still clearly kind of enraptured with shepard. i find it kind of sad and wish there was some kind of closure for her in shepards that romance someone else/no one at all. i hate the thought of liara falling in love at such a young age and pining for the rest of her life after shep dies. i switch back and forth btw if she actually has feelings for shep out of a savior crush bc it explains a lot of her behavior in 2, or if it’s just a young infatuation that she gets over by me3

honestly there is no quest that makes me respect ICT training more than Arrival. over two days shepard plows through how many enemies, including several engineers and pyros and two atlases, completely alone, with NO COMPLAINTS, and only gets taken out by a REAPER WAVE

me3

DONT KAIDAN ME THIS IS BUSINESS

rejecting chakwas is so fucking difficult and hard. if you dont invite her automatically she practically begs (ok she doesnt beg, but she does ask very sincerely and openly) to come back onto the normandy and then shep just.... says no, you can do more good here... and then turns around and recruits dr michel, who has never served on a warship before and doesnt know anybody’s medical history and is not nearly as experienced a doctor, so the choice to pick michel over chakwas makes absolutely no sense. like what the fuck lmao what a dick move shepard

yes i did cave and upgraded me3 to digital deluxe just for the hoodie and dog and extra guns. and it cost me $10. fuck

edi: “I would rather risk nonfunctionality with the crew of the Normandy, than risk it alone (by joining the reapers).” :’(((((((

i keep fucking forgetting how long the omega dlc is. god i never want to look at omega again. lydia definitely nods off/passes out from exhaustion in the back seat as bray drives the shuttle back to the normandy

after miranda’s death, joker: “Mordin, Wrex, Thane, Samara, Miranda… how long before it’s just you and me against the Reapers?”

citadel bits

the clone fight on insanity as a vanguard was not nearly as hard as the clone fight on insanity as a sentinel. what the fuck. i guess it’s a trade off because the solo fight through the strip against the mercs as a vangard was a pain in the ass, and the same fight as a sentinel was a cakewalk

HOW COME THE CLONE HAS INCINERATE EVEN WHEN I DONT LMAO

traynor rattles off lists of her conditions and shepard says she “didn’t realize people still had conditions like that anymore.” traynor says “the colony where I grew up has limited resources. you only have gene therapy if you have a life-threatening condition.“ analysis:

gene therapy to remove common diseases is prevalent enough that chronic conditions like asthma/allergies appear to be eliminated, and may be near extinction with gene therapy in most areas

HOWEVER since they're naturally occurring, they can always crop up, so gene therapy will always be necessary, unless/until scientists start messing with embryo biology?

shepard isn't shocked, just kind of mildly surprised that they're "still around", which makes me feel like gene therapy probably only became WIDELY used mb within the past ~50yrs? to the point of making asthma etc so rare that most humans might now never meet someone with them. ofc i imagine eb shepard would be less surprised that old diseases are still around bc she grew up in a poor inner city and was prob exposed/developed an immunity to them?

dslkf

citadel party

with miranda, samara, and wrex dead, there’s one fewer group in the first section of the party. javik joins the gang in the kitchen, grunt the gang in the living room, and zaeed the gang in the tv area. which resulted in some interesting lines for javik lol. i imagine he joined the tali/garrus/liara/sam gang bc he didnt know anybody else

the third high energy part with the gang on the balcony is rly cute. it's like liara is... idt flirty is the right word, but first she gets all heated challenging james to a pull-up contest, and then teases him that kaidan's lapping him. i think she just has a fondness for james

paying attention to the background chatter is just as entertaining as the normal banter. i caught so many funny jack kaidan and traynor lines

javik suggests that we do this (have a party) again if we survive the war! awww

joker and edi def still have feelings for each other and dance together -- or at least joker does, and edi kind of acts coy/like she’s still interested -- even if you tell them both not to pursue it. it’s prob just because bw didn’t intend for ppl to discourage them, but still interesting

you don’t get mordin’s datapad if you killed him... keely mentioned it’s prob because the stg knew what you did and i believe that

the voice over the radio trying to save her friend’s life while the soldier walks her through it is definitely femhawke. bw probably just reuses their actors so much i can recognize them all lmao

ending

if you sabotage the genophage/kill wrex it’s major kirrahe (or a misc salarian if he died i suppose) that’s giving commands to the troops and god that is so bleak

i shot tim and got his extra dying dialogue that i haven’t ever before.... i like that writing better than when he kills himself? but they’re both sort of poetic endings...... idk which is my favorite

ive never done control before and holy shit i do not like DO NOT LIKE DO NOT WANT. synthesis really creeped me out for a number of reasons but i thought control would be better for some reason? like, a sad kind of way? instead it was just..... super super unnerving LIKE SHEPARD LITERALLY DISINTEGRATES IN FRONT OF OUR EYES and then with that ending monologue and man i am never choosing control again i guess it’s destroy 2kforever for me

first time i told jack to put her students on the front line and they all died. god

caps with makeup-less shep!

[kxdust]

“Moonlight”

Title: Moonlight Chapter: 3/? Fandom: R5  Pairing: Rocky x Lucy (Fem OC) / Rydellington Word Count: 3,280 (all chapters) Summary:

This story is sligthy based on the novel/movie ‘A walk to remember’, with Rocky Lynch as the main guy. I would like to emphasize the “ sligthy based “ part, because the final product is a bit… AU/OC. You see, I haven’t seen A walk to remember since forever (because is the saddest thing ever!!) and have a really bad memory, so it’s not completely alike, which I actually think is a good thing because in that case is more /interesting/ since you don’t know how it’s going to end (to be honest, neither do I /o/)

Warnings: (for this chapter)

please if there is any warning (anything at all) you need me to write/tag let me know. be save, ppl!!

swearing... that’s all, I think.

Disclaimer: I don’t own R5 or the members of the band, sadly. But I do own their representation used here. Lucy, Will and other characters are all mine. I’m not saying anything of this is real and of course I mean not warm by writing this. 

A/N:

[ let me point out the fact that I left this on drafts for like two weeks thinking I posted it *slow clap at self* ]

I’ve been enjoying writing again so here is another chapter, the longest so far!

I change the time while writing. I believe so far I have been writing on past tense, and this one I wrote it on present... trying to figure out which way is better for me. Sorry if that bothers you. (Also tell me which one you like better????)

Enjoy your reading!!

                                               [ Chapter III ]

Lunch time goes as any other day, and so does the rest of the classes. Then, before Rocky can tell, he finds himself on the school auditorium. The guy can’t help but feel a bit weird being in that place since the only times he goes there are when Principal Patton does an important assembly and everyone is forced to attend.

The auditorium is a big outbuilding (all the students had to be able to fit inside after all, Rocky thinks). On two opposite sides there are six doors from where you can enter, each one leads to a few seat-rows higher the more they’re away from the main entrance.

Rocky walks throw that door; to his right there is a path of stairs and the seats, to the left the stage with a couple of steps on each side so that people can climb without having to go all the other way to the backstage entrance.

He gets distracted from admiring the place when someone runs into him, “Watch it!” he snaps right away.

“Sorry, bro.” the guy says back without even stopping, continuing his way to the stage.

Rocky groans, been incapable of doing something else, and turns around, making his way to the door. Not even five minutes have passed since he entered, but the entire atmosphere inside (the students, the noise and the decorations) is stressing him out.

“Hey, Lynch.” Someone calls before he can make it outside, “Where do you think you are going?”

Everything goes silence and Rocky knows is the teacher who is talking, Mrs Jackson? Jayson?

“Uhmmm… I forgot something on my looker,” he answers.

“Oh, is that so?” She asks, “And I guess you /reaaally/ need it, right?”

“Yes?... I mean, yes… I do.” Shit. “I forgot the detention thing you must sign to prove I was here.” Rocky actually finds an excuse after mentally hitting his head with the nearest wall for all the ramble he is doing.

“Okay, you can go for it,” the teacher said, believing him, “but Lucy is going with you.” Or not.

“What?” Rocky and a girl, Lucy, he suppose, say at the same time.

“I don’t need a babysitter, I’m capable of going on my own.” He complains, not only because his plan of getting out of there is mostly ruined, but also because he has never deal well with adults telling him what to (or not to) do.

“Sure you are. But you’re also capable of not coming back if I let you go by yourself,” the woman says back and Rocky kind of hate her.

“Whatever.” He groans, walking out of the auditorium, the soft taps behind letting him know Lucy is following him.

.

"So..." Lucy starts after a few minutes of silence, half way to the main building where the lookers are located. "Why theater?"

"I ask myself the same," Rocky answers through a laugh.

"Hmm?" the girl is puzzled of his internal joke.

"Do you really think I'm there because I want to?" is not a real question, but as he stops in front of her, to make his next point clear and lost as much time as possible, Rocky sees her shrugs. "Well, not. Is for detention, and believe me when I said I plan to spend little to no time there."

His voice is stern, almost making a promise out of it without even saying it. And he turns around to start walking again, slowly, so he can hear her question.

"Because of what happened with Will?"

It shouldn't be a surprise that Lucy knows, the whole school knows by this point, after all. But her being a wallflower just confirms it, and also makes Rocky wonder what people are saying about him that he doesn't know.

Not that he normally cares, but the idea of people thinking he is some kind of idiot for getting William on that situation and not helping him, makes Rocky feel a bit... Uncomfortable. Because yes, he is an idiot, but he didn’t meant for the accident to happen.

Wow. Mr. Patton will be surprised to know he does have a conscious after all.

"That's not your business" he defends himself.

"If it's for that then I will like to-"

"Hey!" Rocky cut her off. "Don't pretend you know me... Or what happened, for that matter, okay?" he is serious with his words as he stops once again, but this time to consider his options. They could continue to the hall at his right, go to his looker and then back to the auditorium or they could go to the left, where the football field is, lose more time and then go back with an excuse.

Yes, definitely that is the winner idea.

"I thought you said the paper was on your looker...” Lucy mention when she realized the guy isn't walking in the direction he should, “Rocky? Where are we going?" but he doesn't bother with replying.

No one says anything for a while after that, and for a moment he wonders if she is still following him. The constant sound of Rocky's rider-boots while hitting the ground with every step is the only sound between them until they arrive to the field and it is muted by the grass.

Rocky sits down, legs spread out in front and using his arms to support his weight as he leans back, the sunlight brushing his face. And sooner than wanted, his little moment of joy is interrupted with Lucy's voice.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying the sun," he honestly answers, opening just one eye to look at the girl with folded arms in front of her chest. "Don't you see?"

"I do. But you were suppose to go for the detention sheet, not a tan." she reprimand.

"Can't you let me have this? I have been indoors for the last eight hours."

"Just like every student any other day," Lucy points out. And it is truth, eight hours is the general period of school plus the time on extracurricular classes, that Rocky attends just the ones he wants on a daily bassist is different. But apparently the girl is tired of dealing with him, or realizes he isn't going to move any time soon, either way, she sits down next to him, cross-legged and less relaxed than the chestnut.

Their looks cross as Rocky turns on her direction to make sure she isn't going back and get him in trouble. "Oh, I'm Lucy, by the way." she introduces herself with a smile, offering a hand to the guy but retracting it when he glares at it. The smile despairing, as well.

"Don't bother with introductions," he says as he throws his head back once again, "I know who you are."

"You do?" there's is a slight tone of surprise on her words.

"Of course." he nods, "You're Lucy Pentland, we have been in the same schools since second grade when I first moved here. I honestly think you have been wearing those glasses since you were born." Rocky goes back to look at her, continuing enlisting things Lucy didn't know he was aware of. "Your dad owns the pizza place in Masson Avenue and you don't have plans to going to collage even though you're the only one in our class that actually could have a future out of this joke of a town... Like, why do you even bother with been the teachers' pet if you don't care?"

Rocky's lack of filter with his words is what always get him in trouble, he doesn't plan on been mean while talking, is just that he takes been honest way too far. Most of the time not even realizing how others can feel, most of the time not even caring.

That's why when Lucy's soft features become harsh as she glares at him, the guy doesn't understand what is her problem.

"You know, because if you- "

"Don't pretend you know me, okay?" this time is Lucy who uses the phrase, interrupting him as she stands and shakes off the bits of grass that managed to stick to her jeans. "And better get back soon, you don't want to make Mrs. Jayson angry."

And then she is off, leaving Rocky to question himself about why people are so sensible before he takes the detention sheet out of his bag pack, unfolds it and decides that no, he doesn’t want to make the teacher angry.

A/N: 

Soooo... any thoughts? Do you think Rocky is actually going survive theater? What do you think about Lucy? I promisse you will get to know her better soon. Anyways… Thanks for reading, any kind of feedback is always welcome c: (and it also motivates me to write more *^*)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

How do u feel about Eno from MonsterKind?

closes book & spins around in chair—oh! didnt see you there. well i’m glad you asked. sets down cup i was drinking from.

tldr i quietly cherish him. i figure it is not exactly his best look right now but i would be surprised if it was to turn out he is/was secretly evil & trying to work against everybody the whole time lmao…..honestly i figured that things were doomed in this way when kip said he trusts eno the most…….that can’t go unpunished. rip

but it is also an endorsement that he must’ve been top quality all this time if kip trusts him that much. i doubt its as Misguided as just being taken advantage of. no idea what the broader con here needs to further take advantage of re: kip….the fact that ppl listen to him whether he likes it or not? or that he can probably survive mad low temps? if he was assumed to die back in the day then the latter seems somewhat relevant one way or another. but i am too dumbassed to make good guesses w/little info

anyways i’m kind of assuming…that eno does sort of have suspicions or straightforward knowledge abt what happened behind the scenes, & its being confirmed just by kip saying there’s some link b/w wallace & the investigation of yore…like, i know i just said im dumb as hell & my guesses are bad, but i’d guess eno thinks that their inside info getting out elsewhere was via himself, not yumi, despite what he said. or even technically if it couldve been yumi i think he thinks it was his own fault. and its not surprising he wouldnt bring up his own suspicious abt his self involvement because like after everything went to shit & the entire project seemingly destroyed, there’s not much relevance to investigating how it happened if nobody plans to be involved. and it would be a little awkward then & now for him to tell kip he thinks he may have been involved in the downfall, even if inadvertently…hm

like……it would be nice if he had secretly developed some kind of assassin level knife throwing skills in the past years. wouldnt it always be. but honestly kip was fuckt the whole time…….nobody seems to be threatening anyone else with knives but i guess if some shadow organization that murders at whim & unhindered shows up & makes threatening demands, the implication is that anyone could be killed, even if some people get to stay alive for the moment just for the sake of pushing them to do something or other thats convenient for whatever latest death plot is underway

e.g. i’m not sure what the point is of purposefully trying to put kip on alert besides having him fall back on eno even more than he would without bringing up that specific threat

but really besides the “well i’m already resigned to someone stabbing kip in the gut while killing everyone he knows in front of him w/promises to kill everybody else too” factor of it all (im not really but—) another reason i cant be that mad is b/c i am also resigned to the fact that wallace is basically in the same kind of position eno was, of an accidental accessory to secret murder

b/c it would truly be a twist if wallace WAS actually in on it the whole time lol….but i doubt it. but the fact remains that he is definitely unwittingly a pawn of the devil!! this wouldnt be a problem if, marxism. anyways the thing is that i really, really doubt that wallace will smoothly learn of whats actually going on before anyone else knows or anyone gets fucked over and be able to gently reveal this to everyone in ways that nobody feels betrayed or breaks their trust with him. i am not even sure how that would be possible…..it is basically inevitable that wallace will have to be exposed as connected to this whole secret society of nightmares, and nobody really knows wallace well enough to be certain that he actually didnt know. and really, the fact that he Doesn’t know doesnt change the fact that he is in fact a part of it and facilitating it, even tho arguably it isnt quite his fault

tbh im assuming that the reason he’s having to do all of this is that he was willing to be transplanted from a to c, and because of that he is like totally clueless about like….everything. he presumably has no idea the kinda shit everyone around him is worrying about like all the time lol & wouldnt know not to try to push past those boundaries. but he can’t exactly be asked to do anything that much different from what he’s doing now / anything too clearly Heinous…besides maybe getting Extra Info or simply making ppl nervous, like making kip think he’s endangered.

coz t.b.h……………i’m not sure that, between kip seeing wallace as harmless and well-intended vs dangerous & ill-intended, the latter is worse? because he is a mix of the two….he doesnt mean any harm but he IS dangerous, technically. not directly thru his own actions quite as much, but still, obviously……kips first impression was basically correct lol rip. i dont think there WAS a way for kip to ever not suspect wallace as being less than purehearted, and of course i also dont think he won’t have to find out that wallace doesn’t want to hurt everybody, but at least he’s a bit on guard about all this fuckery…..even if putting him more on guard is part of some evil plot, which also means its bad…….obviously ideally everyone gets to only ever be best friends and also all be kip’s boyfriends, but i don’t think i my wishes have a tendency to come true, so maybe wait on anticipating that one. in the meantime maybe the inevitable revelation that wallace may have been a double agent will be lessened if kip was holding out for it all along lol. i guess it depends on how much more inadvertent damages wallace’s role is intended to invoke. weird sentence there but i stand by it

basically like dude!! try Knowing Shit instead of not knowing shit!! he may only be an accidental hand of the devil but that doesnt mean he’s totally not working for satan here, so hopefully when he finally realizes the extent of it, he gets to help to right the situation. presumably. idk. but how would anyone know for sure that he never knew what was going on besides trusting that he is not just an excellent actor? i suppose we are in the same situation with eno, huh. despite being given kip’s endorsement, there is only a limited picture of him & then the knowledge that he probably played a part in all the bs w/all these ppl dying. i suppose you can guess that he knew all of what was going on or he didnt or somewhere in between….

basically w/wallace and eno i am assuming that with both itmd a case of well-meaning humans being taken advantage of and accidentally infiltrating these vulnerable circles and sending back information and oh oops, atrocities, and everyone’s dead. i cant imagine that at least kip is meant to survive, and not sure why eno would feel particularly safe on that front either, and clearly any casualties that seem even vaguely necessary can just be carried out at random so you know. bless wallace’s well meaning heart that doesnt know shit but like still, if ppl get fucked over they still have the right to be mad, and if theyre dead theyre still dead, and etc, and also try to learn shit even if it was just a regular, non Agent Of Evil job.

basically what i am trying to say is that im pulling up on my motorbike and telling people that if they’re going to be mad at eno, they ought to be equally condemning of wallace, or that is just inconsistent. like, feel free to either way surely…….i can’t guess that it’d be smooth sailing for eno either if he has to awkwardly divulge that maybe he knows stuff about the whole assassination backstory.

i do wish he had those knife throwing skills for sure…..wish he wasnt being gunpointed into pressuring kip into something or other that surely will endanger him & surely others….but i get why he doesnt exactly seem to have other options at the moment lol. this guy could have assassins all over the block if whatever godforsaken conspiracy is already underway and waistdeep. smh. as i have to assume that he would only endanger kip if he was basically being given a catch 22 of Endanger Kip or Endanger Kip. i suppose he could be doing it solely so he himself won’t be assassinated, but i am personally piecing together that he and kip Are Really in fact That Close & he hasn’t like, faked caring about him this whole time or something

uhhhh tldr i think of him as basically in the same position as wallace, tho to be fair i dont think of wallace as blameless part for not knowing whats going on (like im guessing eno didnt understand until it was too late) and in part because even without the devil he IS just barging in from a in the middle of c & also pursuing audiences w extra vulnerable ppl w/o knowing fuckall (unlike eno who i am also guessing is not from a…)

and perhaps the sole answer to your question as really i was only inferring the part abt asking if eno is suspicious and dubious or not: I Am Fond Of Him Like I Said

what an essay! as all my asks turn out to be!! but i can’t help but theorize. even though i am a dumbass. this is in part because i watched mh for years, and in part because i never assume i’ll still be alive to see any particular plot point in any ongoing media i consume, so i furiously speculate and create au’s in my head and all. for example if i die before its definitely revealed kip doesnt get twenty husbands—which, good luck proving that to me anyways—can anyone tell me he doesnt? no, because i died. so he definitely does. and thats all i have to say on the matter, thank you for tuning in to Milo’s Hour Of Speculation, And Knowing Everyone Is Kip’s Boyfriend