#anyway if you need me i need to get ready for my stepdad’s birthday lunch thing

[fingertipsmp3]

Whyyyyy would I have a romantic dream about my former coworker. I really woke up having soft thoughts about this stupid man 😵‍💫 absolute idiocy!!!!!!

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

we got so close, so close to love

a tyrus oneshot that started as a vent fic and ended as something i only wish would happen to me

word count: 2,291 (it’s a big boi)

—————————

It’s been two years since they’ve last said a word to one another.

Honestly? Things had been going great, they’d gotten past Buffy’s old grudge, the gun incident, and Costume Day. Their friendship was going steady, and it even seemed like it could be leading to more.

And then it did.

TJ confessed his feelings to Cyrus at Andi’s 14th birthday party, and it was perfect. They sat on a bench away from everyone else, fairy lights and stars twinkling around them. He explained the real reasons behind everything that went down on Costume Day, and Cyrus told him he returned his feelings almost a little too eagerly. If their friends noticed they were that much more happy and clingy during the rest of the party, they didn’t say anything.

And that’s when it all went wrong.

The next day, Cyrus sent TJ a text that said, “We can’t talk anymore. Bye, TJ.” Completely out of the blue, unprompted. It didn’t make any sense. The most wonderful thing had just happened the night before, why did it have to end so soon?

But it didn’t matter, because it did end, and when TJ tried to text him back, all he got was a message saying that he’d been blocked. So, he figured he had a pretty valid reason to be crying on and off for the next few days, you know, considering he just lost the one person who knew him better than anyone, who he lo— really liked. Actually, fuck it, he loved him. A lot. And now he was gone.

When trying to go up to him and talk to him the next day, he was only thrown a pitiful look from Andi and Buffy, with the latter adding, “I’m sorry, but you have to go, TJ.”

Cyrus never even looked up at him.

The two drifted apart after that, and although it was entirely agonizing for TJ, he dealt with it. Most of the time, at least. If his line of sight drifted over to the brunette boy every once in a while during lunch, it was nobody’s business.

The worst part of it all was having to start high school without Cyrus. He was a lone wolf for the most part, considering the friend group stopped talking to him when Cyrus did, despite the sorry looks still thrown his way sometimes. He started talking to Reed again, who luckily had apparently learned his lesson from the gun incident. He actually kept up with his school work, and he didn’t make as many dumb jokes anymore. Plus, he came out as pan during that year, so TJ could at least relate to him a little bit more. TJ got more involved in basketball, and he occasionally went to GSA meetings now that he was out, just to scope it out and maybe meet some new people. Definitely not to run into an old friend, an old almost.

10th grade was normal throughout the majority of the year. He was finally starting to really get over the whole Cyrus situation, and although he got nostalgic over it sometimes, he knew that it was in the past. There was nothing he could do about it now. He got more help in math and got his first A-, which he may or may not have cried over, and he picked up soccer alongside basketball. He’d gotten really busy, so he didn’t spend a ton of time with friends unless they were his teammates, but the soccer players were nice enough, and he didn’t expect his friendship with Reed to last long, anyway.

This is why he was surprised to hear a text notification from his phone at the end of practice, thinking it would be an out of nowhere text from Reed. It sure as hell was an out of nowhere text, but it wasn’t exactly from Reed.

It was from Cyrus.

It read, “I have some explaining to do if you’ll let me. You know where I am.”

TJ almost didn’t want to go. It had been nearly two years since they’d last spoken, since they’d last seen each other. It took him two years to get over what had happened. Did an explanation even matter at this point? It would just be a nuisance, wouldn’t it?

At the same time, what had happened never really gave him closure. He never even got to say goodbye to him. It was going great, and then it wasn’t. TJ kinda wanted to know why.

He shoved his things into his bag and sling it over his shoulder, sneaking out without anyone noticing he was gone. Not like that was any different.

Tj walked over to the swings, nostalgia hitting him in waves, his eyes getting misty for what felt like no reason. When he arrived, he noticed two things: the swings were way rustier and more covered in cobwebs than he remembered, and that he would always recognize the back of the head of a certain brunette in an instant. He walked up slowly, unsure of how to approach this entire situation. He didn’t have to, though, because Cyrus looked behind him the second he heard footsteps. “You came.”

TJ sighed and blinked hard, forcing the light out of his eyes. “Of course I came.”

“You wanna sit?” Cyrus asked, grabbing the chain of the swing next to him.

“I-I’m good,” TJ mumbled in reply, simply stepping a bit closer.

Cyrus sighed heavily, standing up to face TJ. “So I have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Yeah, you already said that in your text,” TJ said, lifting up his hand that held his phone.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

TJ scoffed unintentionally. The old TJ would’ve done that in a heartbeat, but he’d changed. Or at least he had once. “How about the beginning? Why’d you stop talking to me? Everything was going so great, why’d it have to end so soon?”

“That’s a long story,” Cyrus muttered, twiddling his fingers.

TJ responded shortly. “That’s why I’m here, Cyrus.” After a beat of silence, he added, “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, we can just go back to ignoring each other like we have been for the past two years. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me,” Cyrus replied, sounding the most sure of himself then than he did during the entire conversation. “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have shown up if I didn’t, Cy.” The nickname didn’t mean to slip out, but he couldn’t help himself. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

Cyrus opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself. “Can we please sit down for this?”

“Fine,” TJ said, taking a seat next to Cyrus, neither of them kicking their legs up to move.

“I was so excited about us, TJ, you have no idea. I even woke up smiling, I remember. That was my first mistake. I went downstairs to get breakfast, and my stepmom saw how happy I was, so she asked about it. I figured, she’s never said anything bad about the LGBT+ community before, plus she’s a therapist so she must deal with gay patients all the time, so I wanted to tell her about me. And us. So I did.” Cyrus took a deep breath. “That was my second mistake.”

TJ’s face dropped. “Oh my g—“

“I’m not done,” Cyrus cut him off. That was new. TJ wondered if he had any influence in that.

“She called my dad in the room and told him what I told her, as if there was something wrong with it. She started bawling, saying that she was so disappointed that I would never had kids, and that I was too young to really know what I’m talking about, and that this is what happens when I hang out around ‘delinquents like you’. And my dad didn’t help either, he just stood there fuming. They made me send you that text, and block you on everything, and stop talking to you, and I did it because I’m a coward and I couldn’t handle being such a... disappointment.”

TJ gently put his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder. “Cyrus, that’s horrible. I’m so, so sorry that you had to go through that alone.”

“Yeah, well, they wanted to keep it under wraps because they were so ashamed about it, so they never told anyone, including my mom and stepdad, so at least I felt more comfortable with them. I only told Andi and Buffy about it. Buffy actually wanted me to go behind their backs and keep seeing you anyway because she saw how happy you made me, but I just couldn’t do that to them.”

TJ sighed, bringing his arm back down and leaning back a bit without falling off his seat. “I get it, I still haven’t come out to my parents yet because I’m pretty positive they’re homophobic, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them, you know? And at least you were able to talk to the girls about it, even if they didn’t fully understand it.”

A small smile appeared on Cyrus’ face as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah. I’m really grateful for them.”

TJ smiled softly, happy to finally get some closure over what had happened between them. He quickly furrowed his eyebrows, however, asking, “There’s one thing I don’t get, though.”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you want to tell me now? After two years of not talking?” TJ asked, no undertones or cruelty or judgement, just curiosity.

Cyrus chuckled to himself. “I didn’t know if I would have to explain this part or not. Guess I do.”

“Hey.” TJ places his hand on Cyrus’. “I’ve already forgiven you, okay? You don’t need to be worried anymore.”

“I am anyway, you should know that,” Cyrus joked, then took a deep breath. “Anyway, my stepmom and my dad said that they had to move because the shrink office they operate out of relocated. And we got in a pretty big fight, and I brought up the whole gay thing again because they basically disregarded it and pretended it didn’t happen for like a year and a half which is pretty damn frustrating, and they said that I might as well live with my mom and stepdad, so I said that yeah, I might as well. And, well, now I do, and I only have to go see my other set of parents every month since they still technically share custody of me. But, they’re not a problem anymore, TJ.”

“That’s great! Wait—”

“I can talk to you again, if you want me to,” Cyrus mumbled, a bashful smile on his face.

“I mean, of course I want to talk to you again, Underdog.”

Cyrus smiled and bit his lip at the oh so familiar nickname.

“But—“

And then his face dropped.

“If you were thinking about anything more than that, anything romantic, you know, I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” TJ explained, trying to word his emotions as carefully as possible.

“That’s,” Cyrus exhaled, “fine. I wasn’t expecting to jump into anything, anyway. I just really wanted you back in my life,” he chuckled.

“I’m glad, I wanted you back too,” TJ replied, a goofy grin on his face that could only be induced by Cyrus.

Cyrus groaned, leaning back and almost falling out of his swing, “You have no idea how hard these past two years have been, oh my goodness!”

TJ laughed, his first real laugh in a long time, “I know, right?”

Cyrus looked down, then back at TJ. “At least we don’t have to face it alone anymore.”

TJ simply giggled in response, just so, so grateful for having him back.

Flash forward two months, it was as if the two had never been separated in the first place. TJ began sitting with their friend group at lunch again, everyone genuinely happy to see him. They all went to his basketball and soccer games, Cyrus bringing posters every time, while he tagged along with the group for Buffy’s basketball games and Jonah’s frisbee meets. He and Cyrus frequently went on “hangouts”, which Andi and Buffy loved to tease Cyrus about. And, it was on one of those hangouts when TJ finally got the guts to do what he’d been wanting to do for two years.

They went out for ice cream on a Saturday evening, and were sitting on a park bench enjoying their chocolate soft serve and blueberry vanilla twist (guess who’s who). TJ looked over to Cyrus, who had some ice cream on his face, and it was almost subconscious the way he lifted his hand to wipe it off. Cyrus looked right into his eyes, and TJ knew then and there that he could get lost in those chocolate galaxies for the rest of his life. His hand stayed on Cyrus’ cheek, and he whispered as if he would break the moment if he spoke any louder when he asked, “Can I try something?”

Cyrus didn’t even answer, he simply quickly got the memo and leaned in to kiss TJ like he’d been wanting to for the past two months, or rather, two years. It didn’t quite feel like fireworks going off and a chorus singing behind them, it felt more like an electric shock going down each of their spines while a warm blanket was wrapped around their shoulders. They touched foreheads as they pulled apart, giggling to themselves, because it finally happened. Two years of waiting, and neither of them would’ve traded it for anything in the world if they knew it would’ve ended like that.

Finally.