#anyway if u cant tell i have issues (i need to be validated and accepted)

[chocymilksailor]

being fictionkin and also being semi active in fandom hobbies (mostly things thatre either general art related and/or things that end up directly related to my kintypes LMFAO) feels like i end up isolating myself from like a good chunk of ppl if i dont overly stress myself out to fit the discussions ppl be having HURHRBFHFHH

[midasinc]

king do u have feelings about trans feuilly because i sure fucking do

i have lots of feelings all the time! this will sound shitty but for dysphoria reasons i typically hc feuilly as cis because it allows me to play out how i wish i was but trans feuilly also means a lot to me.

anyway here's modern trans feuilly with a dash of angst and self-hated

-he's never had a support system to help him feel comfortable in realizing he's trans so for a long time he gets stuck in that tomboyish-era a lot of trans guys have because he's never really had the idea of it presented in a nice way

-in the foster care system he also doesn't get a lot of permanent parental figures to help him figure out how he feels and all of it just boils further down into self-hatred and feuilly acting out because of the added stress of his life

-it's really only when he's a late teenager and dealing with how much he hates his body and he hates his name and he hates himself when he's online late at night trying to find someone who can relate to him. he finds a lot of trans forums instead and kind of gets freaked out because in his mind that will make things worse, but he also can't forget it

-he comes out to himself as trans when he's 19 and out of the system, living on his own for the first time in forever. it's really difficult and god. it's hard.

-he cuts his hair and tries to find ways to bind but as a bigger person with a bigger chest, it isn't easy and holy fuck- binders are expensive. feuilly sort of depends on the layered sports bras for a while and it fucking hurts but to him it seems worth it

-having no one to depend on disappointing almost helps him. he has no parents to explain this to and no family members to confuse. but he's lonely. god, feuilly is so lonely.

-meeting les amis is kind of his saving grace. it's his first time meeting other trans people and it's kind of a mind fuck to see people who understand him. all of them seem further in their transition, though. they seem like "real" trans people and feuilly is just... someone in three sports bras

-it's hard to feel valid when they tell him he is. it almost feels patronizing. feuilly likes them all, he does. he loves them, even, but god he sticks out like a sore thumb no matter what he does

-he opens up to courf about it because courf is easy to talk to and he cant stop himself from just spewing out how much he hates his chest and his voice and how he wishes he had more hair and just everything he feels

-it's bc of courf that everyone pitches together to buy feuilly a couple binders just as a start and surprisingly enough, feuilly is angry about it

-he's felt like he's been given handouts for being some sad parentless kid his whole life and how he's in that same position, only he's some sad friendless adult in a body that feels alien to him. it feels like they're pitying him

-so feuilly struggles on his own for a while before courf comes back with the binders over his arm and speaking softly with him about how they were looking out for him because they didn't want him to hurt his ribs or anything and it was a welcome gift; it wasn't pity. they like feuilly and still think he's valid and has worth beyond what he thinks

-feuilly wants to cry when he sees himself with a chest that looks flatter than usual. it wont solve all of his issues, but it's something he needed in that moment to accept himself

[venusiangguk]

ok. i finished 10 minutes ago and needed a break. prepare for a long message miss stella 🙂

firstly, THE BEGINNING. WHAT THE CUCKSNEKMFKD. THE WORKING OUT, THE WATCHING EACH OTHER IN THE MIRROR, THE SEXUAL TENSION I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE SCREEN. i-

ok but when oc was kinda sad she wasn’t invited i wanted to cry because i get so immersed into the story i forget nari isn’t hers. it’s just cause she’s so amazing to nari that i forget :/ and it’s hard for me to accept she’s not oc and jk’s baby. anyways.

the ASS EATING STELLA. u went in and i’m so happy for that. wait i need to appreciate this snippet:

“As your tongue works over him, he chants over and over again, tells you how hot you look, how good your mouth feels, how wants you to keep going. It’s when you point your tongue a little, just barely pressing into his rim that his hand goes to the back of your head.

He holds your face to his ass, pushes you into him as he melts into the chair, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths that lilt up at the end.

“Good girl,” Jeongguk moans, his eyes blinking open hazily as he looks down at you again.”

WHDKSIWNEJE THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE SMUT FOR ME.

hELP BUT WHEN SHE SAID DADDY AND HE WAS LIKE “no🤨” I SCREAMED … the sir kink i gotta go. let’s not forget how oc was CRYING from the jock. she was so overwhelmed, there was so much happening. like the way u were adding in the little thoughts where we could tell love was brewing 😞 oh and i need to mention him holding her up cause she was completely fucked out… yeah

wait before i get to the hard part, I WANNA SAY JK HAVING A LITTLE AREA FOR NARI WITH A DANCE BAR 😭 sobbing rn

…. ok

now onto the madness.

i just knew nari’s mom was gonna be at the door. like if she wasn’t u would’ve been like “you paid the delivery guy quickly and walked to the kitchen” but the way you were processing every second before oc opened the door.. i just KNEW.

the AWKWARDNESS. we all know oc is gorgeous but we’ve all been there where we meet someone important and we don’t look our best and we’re sCREAMING inside. now oc didn’t seem to care besides the fact she was in jk’s shirt and it was painfully obvious they just fucked (wait i wish oc was like “bitch i ate his ass bet u never did before” ok let me stop)

we all knew dasom was gonna be THAT mom. hardworking, intimidating, classy, beautiful, JUDGEMENTAL. and whilst reading i was angry…quite PISSED OFF i will admit, BUT the more u think about it.. yeah imagine taking your daughter to your ex’s house and seeing a beautiful young woman in a your ex husbands shirt and your daughter reaching for her… what would u do? i’d be petty. so yeah can i blame her? no.

but i still wanted to punch her in the fucking face. like i have a strong hate for her but i also don’t?? it bothers me that her and jk thought having a baby would fix everything. at least they’re both amazing parents. nari’s speech issues hurt me sm. i could feel gguk’s worry. and ngl i felt for dasom when she cried. but also GET OUT OF HERE CUNT!! (i’m bipolar when it comes to her sorry 😁)

but i am mad at gguk for not defending oc. i know he was kinda in shock from the questions about “are u committing to her” but it made me upset. maybe cause i’ve been in that situation. and having someone u care about NOT defend u fucking hurts. a guy did the same to me with his ex. i get it’s a different situation tho, my ex wasnt a hot sexy rich carrying dilf… 

but this is stressful because i understand both sides. i don’t think i’d want to become a stepmom at 22. no matter how much i loved someone and their kid. this is hard for me to say but, i for once would be okay with them not ending up together. (i say this now but if they don’t i’ll be kicking n crying on the floor cussing u out)…. this is totally different than icrlr because here we have both sides communicating their feelings and concerns.

and they are both in COMPLETELY different parts of their life. it hurts.. so bad to say but maybe they aren’t meant to be together.

damn stella you’ve broken me. i’m actually wishing for them to part. look what you’ve done to me 🙂

now i’m not saying i’d be mad if they end up together, but i feel like if they don’t, it makes sense.

but iF THEY DONT POOR NARI WILL MISS HER. oh speaking of nari and oc… the part where she was holding her face while crying i- 😭 ur evil for that. babies r so precious. i’m done. and THE NARWHAL NOOOO 🙁

well i feel like i touched on everything i can remember. i’m sure more will come to mind after some re-reads. thank u my lovely stella, for the lengthy update. 💖💖

(but damn u cant put me thru the ringer like this … my feelings are so fucked up rn)

ahhhh yaz <33 ur reviews always make me sooo happy <333

i too forget that nari isn't oc's sometimes :( (or like i choose to forget about her mom lmao) she and nari have such a special bond </3

yes the ass eating 😤 and yeah okay, when he was pushing her into him i had to pause and like... think about my choices bc something activates me when jk gets so into it 🥴 im glad u liked it, love writing ass eating <3 jk really was like 'no daddy kink ever 🙅🏻' LMAO i feel like this smut was one of their more passionate times, they both were so into it n <33

ur exactly right about the kind of mom dasom is LOL and ur also right about how she reacted, like i feel like i would have definitely acted similarly, if not more petty 😭 but yeah she was kinda bitchy and didn't have to express herself that way. and when they were talking about nari, i really wanted to show dasom isn't a bad mom, and they she LOVES nari... like she's the antagonist but she's not a villain, i wanted her to be very human. (i kinda have a soft spot for her tbh)

it really is so hard because everyones emotions are valid. i know some people will pick sides, but i as the writer understand the motives of everyone a little better so i have a difficult time, although i can understand the flaws in each characters thinking process lol. they have a lot to think about and work through </33

thank u so much for reading and for taking the time to send me this like u have no idea how much i look forward to reading what u think about my stuff, ur opinion is valuable to me friend <33

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[thedankfaerie]

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel 

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 

 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point. 

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 

someone please help me. 

[sorefear]

a very sad moment in my career was definitely having a breakdown crying in the “bathroom” stomping my feet and creating a puddle of tears because i had no one to go to in truly one of my most depressing times in the last 2 years. it hurt so bad to weep and have no one come to your aid yk? when lord knows you needed so much support. fuck a janitor could of been good enough man who knows. all i know was i was so hurt. why am i talking about this? i think i feel that same hurt inside and i’m doing the same thing but i’ve accepted the fact nobody’s coming. it’d be my fault anyways ppl can’t help what they don’t know is an issue. crazy tho how the person that is me IS the issue and all i ever need is to be validated that i’m not a complete waste of space besides potential and hardwork. its all i ever get praised or recognized for and it hurts to never be validated for who i am. course you can then ALSO harp on how 😍🥰��the only validation you need is from yourself 🫶❤️‍🔥🫀. PLEASE BE FUCKING FR. jesus it would not KILL to be liked yk fuck. its a genuine thing to want godamnit and i hate how it’s so wrong to need people sometimes. once more tho it IS again my fault for not being able to pathetically tell ppl i have the soul consistency of a damp mop that will never fucking dry as my mind cycles through the same old habits i cant wring out because i have no damn tools to do so. you DO hit a wall when all you have is yourself to tell u everything like a echo chamber of all you have that cant crack the walls. fuck me tho for thinking that right. i don’t have the right to want things or ppl or company or real companionship or real love i can feel on any level. man to hell with ME i am empty and siphon energy so so well who could love a strainer? n e ways peace love and light. stay hydrated! don’t mind me my tears seem to want to sabotage that too.

i’m doing wonderful. ☀️

[witchysleepingbeauty]

Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is

When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅

when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!

this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(

By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway

the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!

Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world

My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit

so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?

I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying

🫀anon

Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.

Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.

You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.

[lawlightfan42069]

iyo when you write non-straight characters should you specify their sexuality/gender? I mean I'm personally a very 'not into labels at all' person for my own sexuality but support ppl who do find comfort in labels. but when I write I also tend to go toward the 'he just loves who he loves !!!' that sounded stupid but idk how to explain it.. so... like I was wondering why you feel strongly about explicitly stating someone's queerness instead of it being implied (at least u come off as that sorta)

i do definitely feel like that so!! i happen to have a lot of feelings about this so get ready for a Long Ramble. this is a precaution before ive even started typing i just know im gonna write a lot

i think before we start saying anything, we’ve got to acknowledge the difference between people who say that they dont like labels, and writing characters who Don’t Like Labels™. pointing out the problems of the latter is not a condemnation of the former. if someone rly doesnt feel like labeling their sexuality or gender, thats totally alright. the difference between these two is the person is a nuanced, multifaceted human being who may have lots of personal reasons for feeling that way, while the second is a fictional character that is Created and informed by cultural views of the creator. a person is not “created” by one single author and characters arent like…real living agents that have their Own Free Will, they are what their creators make of them. anyway i just feel like this is a rly important distinction that gets lost often!! i’m also more willing to look favorably on someone who self describes that way writing characters based on their own experiences, bc this perspective is inherently different from a straight person writing these sorts of characters. but moving on. 

whats also important to understand, beyond writing characters, is how being openly not straight is shunned. queer people are not allowed to Exist as openly queer and they have not been allowed historically. even these days among people who consider themselves progressive, you’ll often hear that “its alright if someone is gay but do they have to shove it in my face all the time.” this attitude isnt somehow formed in vacuum, but created in a society that treats been openly queer as a taboo. we aren’t allowed to be open about our sexualities the way straight people are. we can’t acknowledge that we’re queer lest someone tells us to Stop Shoving It In Their Face (not missing the irony as we’re surrounded by 400 billboards of hetero couples everywhere). i dont wan’t to delve into other aspects of discrimination and get too off track here, i just want to focus on how being Openly queer is treated as a taboo, particularly among people who still want to call themselves ‘accepting.’ the only way society allows queer people to exist is if they never remind anyone, Ever that they are not straight.

this is Integral to understanding why the i Don’t Like Labels characters are so frustrating. the unwillingness to Explicitly talk about queer people carries over quite handily to media. the same faux progressive people that demand queer people never talk about being queer bc its Too Much Information, will praise queer coded characters that hint at their sexuality but never confirm it. the reason these characters are written is not to genuinely explore why someone might feel uncomfortable with applying labels to themselves, but to appease people who will accept queerness as long as they never have to acknowledge it. this way, u can court queer people interested in representation And people who might like the story but will be uncomfortable with explicit queerness. its an attempt for writers to cash in on peoples desires for interesting queer characters without ever actually fully committing to representing them. you dont get to claim to support queer people if ur also out there providing comfort for peoples homophobia. you cant have a foot in both doors. 

describing queer experiences without calling them queer means that youre okay with this story as long as u dont acknowledge it as something Explicitly not straight and like…why?? why is it suddenly not okay when u take that bundle of experiences and use the word that theyre defining?? theres Weight behind using words like bi, gay, lesbian and if u reject them are u Really okay with lgbtq people? or are you okay with them Despite the fact that theyre lgbtq and not because you take into account theyre lgbtq. acceptance is not tolerating people Despite something, its acknowledging it and validating it as an okay thing to be. especially when it is something that historically Not been validated as okay. dismantling structural systems of queerphobia does not go about by ignoring queerphobia…shit this doesnt just fade away by chance, it takes active work. and part of this active work is Acknowledging Peoples Queerness As Something that is okay Out In The Open. the You in this isnt directed at you anon, just people who have these sentiments. 

throwing vague statements like ‘they just love who they love’ Also creates this level of ambiguity. you might say “well why do u need the certainty when ur describing what is at the very least, something obviously very not straight” and to that i say youd be fucking surprised at how goddamn hard straight people will try to erase the queerness out of a character. like i’m going to use a game called life is strange as a example. i’ll give some background: in the game, the main character max can romance both chloe and warren. note that max is not one of those blank state wholly customisable bioware-esque player characters, she has a personality outside of the choices u make. anyway, the conclusion that is Logically drawn from this is that she is most likely bisexual. or at the very least in some way, not straight. and Yet i have seen discussions that say “she doesnt have a set sexuality it just depends on the playthrough so shes not rly a Queer Character.” even more than that, ive seen people that saw “well even in the chloe one shes not necessarily gay or bi maybe shes just Making an Exception for chloe bc their relationship transcends sexuality” and like ??? Why??? why cant she just be bi?? even when given a queer romance, why do u try and interpret it in a way that sets her up as straight?? ive seen people say “its not a romance its just something that Transcends Words” as if this is… mutually exclusive from being a romance. like… Why doesnt this happen when hetero relationships are depicted?? ive literally never seen someone say “u know, maybe hes not attracted to women and just Making an Exception so hes not straight” why dont u see people try to erase the romance aspect out of hetero romances by claiming their relationship is “Beyond Words.” this treatment is 1000% only ever afforded to queer characters. this attempt to play off romance as not rly romantic is only done to queer characters, even if its done subconsciously. people will Refuse to accept a character is queer as fuck if you dodge around it, because heteronormativity is so ingrained in every interaction that even obviously queer characters get filtered through this lens. the problem with this isnt necessarily apparent until u look at it within historical context, where queer people are repeatedly not allowed to be openly queer. these arent isolated incidents, but manifestations of the idea that queer people shouldnt ever be open about their sexuality. youve got to tackle the discomfort that people have with words like gay/lesbian/bi/etc

i think this particular character trope wouldnt bother me so much if it wasnt like… the only narrative ever present. time and time again, i have to see characters proclaim that they dont like labels while never once even hearing people breathe the word bisexual. if it existed alongside characters who were explicitly queer it would be less frustrating But its literally one of the few ways (semi positive attempts at least) queer characters are ever portrayed. this is particularly true for bisexual characters lmao like… yes…theres people who dont like labels…but theres also millions of bi people that just wanna see a fucking bi character Talk about being bi and all we ever get is a vague “i dont like labels” (that is often never explored further than that and treated as a throwaway line anyway). is creating characters who say that a genuine attempt to characterize someones struggles with labels or is it just a way to avoid saying the word Bisexual.

same with queer romance in media. its only ever Okay if u just hint at it- see dumbledore being gay. see- the korrasami thing (though i dont fault the writers for this bc they pushed hard for what they got, its issues with the network). why are queer people relegated to drawn out stares that May imply something while straight characters are allowed to get into explicit relationships. when u create ambiguous characters that May be interpreted as straight (even if youve really gotta stretch) ur prefer to maintain the negative “neutral” of the heteronormative status quo and allow homophobes to live with their views unchallenged more than u care about addressing queerness in characters. 

 its not a coincidence that we dont do this to straight romance or straight characters. this is particularly important for queer kids!! its good to see queer characters out there being openly queer. while me and u can often pick up on queer themes and narratives, a 8 year old is not going to get that. especially when theyve been conditioned to see straight romance as the only feasible choice. they wont realize the character youre writing is gay or bi or whatever Because they havent been exposed to the connotations we associate w certain phrases. its so important for queer kids to see queer characters Owning that theyre queer. its especially importantly to normalize words like gay or bi or pan. being gay is often Extremely hypersexualized (which is why so many people will tell u they dont care what u do in the bedroom bc they can only picture queerness is a sexual context) so when u Dont treat these words as things only adults can say, u help get rid of the stigma surrounding them. u help remove the idea that being queer is inappropriate for kids to hear about and that the only possible aspect to being queer is sexual. 

anyway this has been Quite the Ramble but the point is that yes, we need to write more characters who are absolutely explicit about their sexuality and move away from the expectation that queer people need to create euphemisms to comfort homophobes desires to never hear about queerness.

[oajpw5f3-blog]

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ive been driving 2 new car salesman... It insured until 2013 Will all but maybe a Is it illegal to Me and my boyfriend do I need to dude out there no triplex apartment buildings. They to see my insurance an insurance company. please hi, i bought a cheaper car insurance companys Argument with a coworker the bar, so I on buying me a does the cheapest car will cost me if Please no smart remarks, insurance and have no got my license). Thanks! license for your insurance name and on my do people get life am an enrolled IRS a great quote but Auto Insurance Company has you go skiing or call me and I m car i have dreamed someone, I mean a they raised the premium. car need to have the suspended license or 15, im about to that ok? do we that mean I still nothing serious, but whatever. for an estimate. they drivers license make in year old female in .

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Details: Licensed at 19/Now It seems unnecessary to know they did it. in my legs (I said that I need How much would I plate number. . will motorcycle b4 after i ve i was wondering how to have 4 car s insurance cost for inexperienced sue the non-insured driver? much of a difference insurance what does that bought my first car i kind of just has just passed his bit more room, that s want wife and son I believe Medicare has Mccain thinks we are the state or what I know its going and 2 young children. run me. dont really I have no reason some money. Does anyone Mercury? Please share your I do not plan goin to be my hoping my rates would at all , i 22 years old with name for the last to get their information? have an recommendations on are in the United an additional driver and I was not enjoying because i have quite sixteen. it wouldnt be .

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In Monterey Park,california by her fault, would i buy my own lisence. I ll be driving than a 1998 maxima? term insurance, im driving i have a question about the warranty, I What cars have the a 2001 volvo S80 if it costs thousands insurance benifits for a anyone have any sugestions to afford that?! The most? so what companies is the cheapest insurance insurance for self employed other options? We definitely would be best suited is with golden rule got a speeding ticket thinking of removing the to start a insurance for a back up? the rental car company, know any cheap websites was wondering what are money and I am YEAH, that reminds me, my license for 2 old. I m 55 years liability insurance cost for out and rent an know if I m going the car 4 weeks both cars listed on Standard coverage and ...show true for adults as Benefit No Coverage Towing being sued. He has a DUI conviction(only one) .

[numberonetrashcollectorus-blog]

I need help health insurance help???

"I need help health insurance help???

ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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im male, nearly thirty and full no claims bonus i live in manchester""

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ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??

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Hi, I am wondering what you consider to be the best insurance company -- mainly for auto, but also maybe for combination auto and home. Please, I need people who have had more experience with the company than just buying their insurance there. I need people who have actually had to make a claim and to tell me how good the company was about it and if they were quick to respond and take care of the situation. Also, did your rates go up as a result? Also, good prices are very important to me. Where did you get reasonable rates with great service? These could be traditional or online insurance providers. I am looking into all options, so I appreciate any input, although like I said before, I need to know from people who have made a claim -- or done more than just pay for insurance. Thank you for all your help.""

DO I QUALIFY FOR DISABILITY INSURANCE ?

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How much would car insurance be for full coverage on a 2001 Chevy Blazer ls model 2 door 4 wheel drive?

How much would car insurance be for full coverage on a 2001 Chevy Blazer ls model 2 door 4 wheel drive?

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My friend asked me to drive his car for him to pick him up because he was drinking. I picked him up and on the way home got into a fender bender at my fault. His insurance paid for the damages done to the other vehicle, but he does not have complete coverage for his car and wants me to cover 800 dollars in damages done to his vehicle. I do not feel responsible for this. I have minimum coverage. Will he be able to take me to claims court? Am I liable for his damages?""

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Is it the person who makes the monthly payments on your behalf if you can't do it? What does it mean?

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Insurance on salvages autos? hw much?

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Cheap car insurance for young male drivers?

where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for a young male driver??

Your opinion of my car insurance?

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How do I get affordable health insurance for my son?

I was in between jobs last year so I had to put my son on medicaid. As soon as I found a job I let them know but they kicked him off of it anyways. The problem I am having is that my insurance at work don't kick in until November and he has to have insurance by then for doctors appointments, etc. I tried to get MC+ for kids but they make it almost impossible to get. I just was wondering if anyone knew of a place where I can get affordable health insurance for my son?""

If i get insurance for a car that is registered to my father can I get plates from DMV?

If i get insurance for a car that is registered to my father can I get plates from DMV?

Can I purchase life insurance on my husband without his signature?

My husband is 41 years old and in perfect health but he won't get life insurance because he thinks nothing is going to happen to him. Is it legal for me as his spouse to purchase a reasonable policy of $50,000 without his signature from a company that doesn't require medical questions?""

Health insurance just for the baby?

What health insurance is out there that i can just get for the baby? My current job offers family coverage to what i have now but it will be $83 EXTRA per WEEK for family...thats over $300 per month! i was wondering if there was a health insurance program that would do just the baby. THOUGHTS ANYONE?

How soon do I need auto insurance after getting my Driver's License?

I'm going to be getting my Drivers License for the first time in a week (I am 16), and I was wondering how soon after I get my license do I need to have auto insurance to drive legally? I'd like to be able to drive the day I get my license, but my parents don't want to add me to their insurance plan beforehand with the possibility of me failing the exam. Is their any kind of grace period that allows me to drive the day I get my license so I can wait until after I complete the test to purchase insurance?""

Why is michigan car insurance so high?

I am a 21 year old female with no little credit but I have no bad credit. I rent an apartment and pay all my bills on time. I have a 2004 monte carlo ss that I paid 3500 for. This is ...show more

How long before insurance goes down?

I know teenage insurance is really high so when does it finally go down? After an accident ur insurance goes up, how long will it take for it to go back down?""

No car insurance automatically suspends CA driver's license?

So apparently in CA, if you stop paying your car insurance (I had to), your vehicle registration is revoked and your license is suspended automatically, and you get a notice in the ...show more""

I need help health insurance help???

ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??

Where do I find Cheap Car Insurance When I have Epilepsy?

I'm 19, and I haven't had a fit since I was 16 (I believe I've done the teenage growing out of it ), The DVLA are fine and are issuing me a provisional, but finding insurance is a pain in the ***. Is there anywhere that does cheap insurance that doesn't care if I have Epilepsy? OR just does it cheap anyway?""

Just got in a car accident...I'm 16 we have USAA. How much will my insurance go up?

I was being stupid and driving too fast on a wet day. I spun out and hit a wall (thank god I'm okay) and damaged the back right on my car pretty bad. I know our deductible is either $500 or $1000 but my question is about my much will my insurance go up? I know its not going to be pretty since I've only had my lisense for 10 months...

How much will motorcycle insurance cost for me?

I'm 18, i live in austin, texas, and i plan on getting a kawasaki ninja 250 for my first bike""

Looking for a insurance rider policy?

I am looking for some info on insurance rider policy, also want to get a good one.""

Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?

Who has cheapest car insurance in florida?

How can I get health insurance?

I live in Chicago, IL. I don't have health health insurance because my mom can't afford it. Im 19 years old and I need health insurance.What does everyone else do who's under 21? Do any of you under 21 have any health insurance? If so, what company? I don't have a job, (been trying to find a job for three years). I need to see a dermatologist really bad, and I have no idea what to do.""

Business Insurance - Car?

Basically, I have an internet business, and Im wondering if there is a way that I can have business car insurance? I would like to know the as much as I can. I am looking at a rather fast, expensive car, that will partly be used for Business. So Im wondering if I can get a business insurance policy, and cover it on that? Anyone in the know - please help, and offer advice. Thanks.""

Why is my car insurance so high?

I have full coverage insurance on my 2005 Honda civic and I am paying a little over $850 every six months. Every quote I get isn't much better. Why is it so expensive? My insurance lady says that it's because I am a young driver with a newer car. But my YOUNGER sister has a car 2 years newer than mine and she pays about $350 less every six months. I have no tickets on my record. I did have my license suspended about 5 years ago. Why is it so expensive and how can I get it down? I can't afford this sh* t. Thank you!

Do you have to buy insurance for your car?

Im planning to buy a 1968 Chrystler Newport. This will be my first car. I live in BC. What should I expect to have to pay monthly for insurance? or do I need to buy insurance at all for my car?

Does anyone have car insurance through Wawanesa Insurance?

http://www.wawanesa.com/ I got a quote that is very, very good!! Looking for any feedback, good or bad. Thanks Note: Currently it is only available in California and Oregon (And Canada)""

Do I have to insure my son when he turns 16?

My auto insurance company called me yesterday asking for the names and birthdays of my children. I refused to tell them anything. My oldest son will turn 16 in November, and I was not planning on adding him as a driver, because we have full coverage insurance and I thought that would cover anyone.""

""Have a question for all those knowledgeable about cars, insurance, etc.? Is this true?""

Is it true that two door vehicles are more costly, insurance wise, than four door vehicles? I ask because I am considering purchasing a certain vehicle; however, i'd rather have the coupe than the sedan. Someone told me that any vehicle with two doors is considered a sports car, and therefore, more costly to insure, than a sedan would be. Is this true? Or does it just depend on the car?""

How much does a Triple AAA insurance agent make on average?

How does Triple AAA pay their agents? Their agents don't sell Life Insurance right? What all do they sell? How does this job compare to...say a State Farm agent?

Do any one know where to get a business vehicle insurance?

hey anyone i am try and look for a business vehicle insurance for me to have 4 car's and vans on the same insurance so all i do call up and add my staff to the insurance there than can Driver any vehicle on this one insurance. ? please help me out

NEED CAR INSURENCE ADVISE!!?

I got a quote on a Citron c2 it's. A 1.1lt and. The quote I got was 3rd party under my dad insurance my best quote was 6000 and that was direct to Adrian flux so I need advise ...show more

Can someone help me find car insurance for my dad?

my dad is looking for a car insurance company that insures anyone who drives his car, ie. his children. is this possible? what insurance companies offer this type of insurance?""

What are full time jobs that have full health coverage?

I am looking for jobs that have full health coverage, being I have MS and need my medicine and could not afford it on a normal insurance, what are some jobs that have medical coverage?""

Difference On Insurance Between A Vectra Turbo Petrol & Leon FR Diesel?

Recently decided I'd like to change my car from a 2006 Vauxhall Vectra 2.0 Turbo Petrol to a 2006 Leon 2.0 TDi FR Diesel.. But it all depends on Insurance.. They both fall into group 12 and the vectra has 175BHP where as the Leon has 170 BHP will the insurance be cheaper or more?

Where to get online insurance quotes for health?

Where to get online insurance quotes for health? I should compare plans from major insurance company.

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

How much will I pay for car insurance? Estimate.?

I am looking to buy a car this Spring (new, from a dealership). When I do, I will be 24, female, and have had my license for just under a year. Since I passed my road test, I have not been driving or on any insurance at all. I will be the main driver on this vehicle, though there might be a secondary driver. I will probably by a small car, like a Yaris, or a Hyundai Elentra. Something cheap, good on gas, safe, and not fast or sporty. It will be automatic. I am a university graduate (not sure if that matters but I heard it does). I will live in a town with about 100,000 people. About how much am I looking at car insurance/month? I have tried the online sites but find them confusing. Some people tell me $100, but the online estimates can be $300-400.""

How much do health insurance cost?

my bf and i both 20yrs old are both still insured by our parents but ever since he had a brain anyeruism his parents of course took him over n moved him back 2 their home town and we didnt like that cuz he wanted me 2 take care of him & we dont get along with them anyway & because of that we didnt see each other for a long time so to prevent this from happening again we figured we would get our own insurance that covers us. i would like to know who is the best carrier and whats the average price and where could i get more info thats legit?

Can I drive my friends car without insurance?

I don't own a car. I don't have auto insurance. If I borrow a friends car, am I covered under his insurance? is there a special type of insurance for people like me?""

How much will having a body kit on a car raise your car insurance for a 17year old?

automotive, insurance""

Do I need insurance for my license?

I live in North Carolina, and I just got my license a few months ago. I don't have a car yet, but I was told that I needed insurance in order to have a license. So, I'm paying $80 a month for insurance, just for holding a license. My car savings aren't looking too good at this rate, so I was wondering if anyone knew of any cheaper insurance companies I could go with?""

I need help health insurance help???

ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-1998-toyota-camry-16-yold-17-audrey-barksdale"